#i need like infinite money
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"why do you need so much money?"... TO BUY ART, TO PAY FOR COMMISSIONS, TO SUPPORT EVERY SMALL ARTIST THAT APPEARS ON MY DASH
#you don't understand#by the time im able to afford things my house will be a fucking ART MUSEUM#i need like infinite money#for snacks#spoiling my loved ones#and commissioning my fav artists
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For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like
Diabetics
POTS sufferers
Hypotensives
People with peanut allergies
People with celiac disease or wheat allergies
The lactose intolerant
People who can't eat solid food
People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on
So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill
A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable
But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?
#tag yourself I'm five out of ten#health food is gonna kill me one day i swear to God#vasovagal syncope/POTS was actually a fun disease to have since the treatment is honestly junk food#to get my sugar and sodium levels up quickly so i don't pass out#but then the United States government in their infinite compassion slashed my food stamps in half#and now i can't afford 'luxeries' like enough chips and candy i need to not faint and concuss myself. again#add the celiac and to a lesser extent the lactose intolerancy and now two fruit allergies...#and I'm paying three times the amount for like fifteen food items and that is accounting for the food inflation even ableds are facing#whatever food shortages ableds are going thru right now i swear to you it's much much worse if you're sick/disabled#stop policing what food people buy with the money their given i don't care if it's a paycheck or welfare#SOMETIMES I'll get a pitiful and defensive 'well how was i supposed to know?!' when i confront people bugging me about this#you don't know so shut your trap about it in the first place#most people just ignore the reason and accuse me of making up excuses to eat 'unhealthy' foods tho#health nut#ableism#systemic ableism#food#Salt blessed Salt
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Anyway the reason why you shouldn't pre order Veilguard isn't because of some moral protest about the layoffs. It's because deceptive marketing and releasing unfinished products are the current standard in the AAA space and a few pieces of mediocre fashion do NOT warrant spending 60+ usd now for a game that might not even run later.
#girlbob.txt#how quickly we forget cp77's launch lmfao#like we're at the point where EA may as well stand for 'early access' idk what to tell you guys#anthem's launch was fucking ROUGH too from what i remember#so was andromeda's#do Not give these people your money until you know the product is worth it#also never forget you're not supporting devs when you buy something. they GOT paid#the money only goes to execs when you buy#you know what fuck it if it ends up in the tag then it does#dragon age#and a reminder that success has never kept a studio alive.#see tango after hi fi rush handily out performed their shadow drop predictions#see blizzard layoffs after successful years#see ea choosing not to continue the dead space remakes#games doing well will not save your favorite studios because sometimes doing too well means closing them#can help boost the illusion of infinite growth#and datv being a game that doesn't have mtx and having taken so long to come out#means it will never perform as well as needed to *truly* be the success it would have to be to become a darling cash cow#(that would still have layoffs even then)
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#Sevenās Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#āYouāre such a heartless and hateful person.ā well have you ever considered that iām not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so youāll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#āThat 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.ā MF that was made TODAY. ITāS FRESH AND THEREāS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know itās my fault so iām not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like youāre fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and thatās why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so weāre sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when itās my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and thatās My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasnāt enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so iāll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dogās teeth need#cleaning too and thatāll come out of my pocket and i guess thatās My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and thatās definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i canāt use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess thatās my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess thatās my fault too. i donāt know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if theyāre packed in a way that shows whatās inside then iāll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now thereās Two roomās floors that need fixing so thatās super fucking fun! š#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i donāt Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that iāll go to all this trouble and theyāll say i donāt qualify#and god itās NYE now. Besties iām not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just canāt make myself write these days. iām sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now iāve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#thereās just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what iām gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun
#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish#like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already#if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible#but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv#besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth#its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the#over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet.#if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120#which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs#and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive#do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100#but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks#do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms#if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.
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I've been joking to friends/family that I haven't been reading comics as much since late march because that's when I started on antidepressants but I've been struck with the realization that my baby cousin was born at the beginning of april and I literally go over to see him every day and babysit....
he's occupying prime comic time but it's okay because he was named after wolverine so it balances out
#guys blame the baby for me not being active in comic fandom........#genuinely though i want to just pick up and get through the stacks of series that ive been wanting to get through and its soo hard :(#maybe dc infinite was a worthwhile subscription... i was definitely reading comics a lot more to make my moneys worth#i knowww the pirating websites are easy but theyre all ass on mobile and i just..m dont like my laptop...#and all my physical copies of comics that i want to read are just dollar bin floppies that i need supplemental material for#help :(#personal ig
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how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but š¬š«#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
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the honors credit policies at my uni are so aggravating i might jump
#why do i need to pay 7k to go abroad for 3 weeks for 3 HONORS CREDITS#WHEN I CAN DO A SINGLE FREE CONTRACT WITH A PROFESSOR FOR 4#itās a nice thought and thereās some aid out there but college is infinitely more fun when you have money#iām not going to make my low income parents pay so i can party in france thereās enough to deal with at home#and considering the alcohol problem here youād think kids were doing just fine booze wise but no#i like reading the emails they send out before class starts and bitching sorry LOL#š¬ yap
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#I have so many cute ideas for little photoshoots to do but sighhhhhh I need funding to make things happen#upsetting that I canāt just like. have infinite money for props/lingerie/toys#I should be receiving government aid for this#whatever sigh#(Iām brainstorming little shoot ideas so I can ignore the dread of wisdom teeth removal)#my stuff#ignore this
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Day two of rapidly pounding down two to three cups of coffee in one sitting like a fucking maniac:
I did my dishes, disinfected and de-scaled my kitchen sink, swept the floors, rearranged the ingredients I have out on the counter, wiped down my microwave, the stove, and the countertops with vinegar water.
#I am slowly turning into Captain Janeway#Actually ADHD#The coffee was still watery so I need to put more grounds in for the taste but I feel the level of caffeine is good for me#Maybe I should buy a bag of Turkish coffee from the Arab-owned cafĆ© because holy shit itās amazing#But not now I need to get groceries and then not spend anything for the next two weeks#Except to purchase a rolling island for my kitchen on Marketplace which is allowed because itās cash money not bank money#Bank money pays the rent and utilities and needs to be conserved.#Cash money is for local purchases that cannot be paid electronically so it doesnāt count if I spend it#because itās not used for the same things#Iām still frugal with it but it is infinitely less stressful to spend it because I view it as āextraā#And it sounds like Iām being careless but actually Iām being extra careful because if I buy something electronically#I assume I have less money than I do because I donāt count the cash money with the bank money#If I donāt have enough to buy something with my debit card I wait it out and donāt put my cash money in the bank to cover it#However if I earn 150 dollars pet sitting I may decide to put 100 dollars in savings and use the 50 as cash money#but once I make that decision there is no going back#The same works in reverse: I never withdraw bank money to turn it into cash money#And the rule is if I put money into savings it shall absolutely positively not come back out again until I need it for a goal#like a down payment on a house or somethingā¦ which is a LONG way off#Although I may pull from it to fund my adaptation in the near futureā¦ still deciding#Wow I did not mean to talk about finances ahsbsjdndnsks#But yeah Iām really good with money so if anyone needs budgeting/penny pinching tips please do hit me up#Donāt ask me about investing or cash back thoughā¦ I donāt understand them#and if I donāt understand something I wonāt use it
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Charli xcx: Sympathy is a knife (Live) - SNL
#need someone with infinitely more patience skill and premium features to screencap some money shots from sympathy is a knife live on snl#bc this is all i got T-T i liked the stage tho#a:charlixcx#g:pop#justalkin#also FUCK snl and youtube for adding the stupid snl info notification at the best wide shots of charli xcx party girl??whats up with that??
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in my head i have a sonic band au where sonic turns 18, except he's a chao which means after he comes out of the cocoon he's gonna be green for a bit. so as the reasonable person he is, he drops his sonic the hedgehog identity for a while and decides to do someone villain redeeming and some personal indulgence, and creates a band with some evil girlies who want him dead. featuring green-teal sonic as lead guitarest and singer, neo metal sonic on keytar and as a backup singer, mephiles playing the bass, and infinite as a drummer. gadget is there for good person support and as infinite's caretaker after the phantom ruby took away his face and eyes, and iblis owns the car they all use. anyway one day the band pisses sonic off mildly so he decides to hire team dark as body guards, including shadow to throw off everyone's vibe instantly, and team dark does not know that the band is sonic and his villains and what they walked into,, they recognise gadget tho so they trust them
i could draw this but im battling period cramps so maybe tomorrow idk
#also iblis and mephiles are married with maybe a few kids by the time sonic finds them for the band#they didnt really need redemption but they liked being a part of smth fun.they let the band practice in their attic#sonic just.stole metal one day and was like 'im not sonic right now im a singer looking for a band' and metal was like 'oh okay thats fair'#sonic found infinite in a ditch with gadget and took him to a hospital where they put bandages on his face.ehats left of it..#and sonic offered him a place in the band so that they could all get enough money to get him a new face or smth#i..have put too much thought into this au#the emerald evil au
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My first time watching Glass Onion it was obvious that Miles' speeches were bullshit, but I still searched for any hidden meaning there might be.
The second time is a different experience though because every time my brain starts to search for meaning, I feel like Benoit Blanc discovering that no, there is absolutely no hidden meaning.
It's bullshit it's all nothing nothing nothing! It is just how you end up talking when everyone reacts to your self-aggrandizing word vomit like it is actually wisdom.
Also, legit, when Miles gave his stupid bullshit speech about what the word 'disruptor' means to him, I shit you not I was like holy shit am I back in business school right now?!
Miles must have given speeches like that at 100 business school graduations, goddamn.
Like, the motherfuckers really do sound like this. We didn't have any billionaires come, but we had a lot of millionaire guest speakers in my classes, and they fucking talk like that.
They all think they're rugged capitalists, but they're just glass onions!
#original#glass onion#it's just. business school prepared me really well to succeed in the business world as a straight white neurotypical#able-bodied cis man with a large network of very wealthy friends and family#I really would have killed it if I wasn't a queer autistic cripple!#even the best teachers seemed incredibly unaware of the enormous privilege that they were assuming in their students when they taught#but they basically presupposed you had infinite energy and savings and a disturbingly large number of my classes were just#lectures about pushing as hard as you can no matter what#they used Starbucks as an example of an admirable case of somebody who persisted in going to 150 investor pitches before being approved#and like. how many people do you know who have enough savings to schedule plan and attend 150 investor pitches?#how many people do you know who could set up even 12 through their connections?#where are those savings coming from? where are those investor pitch meetings coming from? those aren't easy to get!!#but none of this was ever mentioned it was just awesome that the guy kept trying I guess.#I have a sneaking suspicion that if I were to have dug deeper into some of the examples we were given that a lot of those#real life businesses probably started with a big big loan from somebody's parents#I was listening to the show you're wrong about which is a really good podcast and Michael Hobbs was like#anytime you see an article glorifying someone's financial success especially at a young age you should control F for 'parents'#because chances are you will probably see the word 'parents' somewhere next to the words 'million dollar loan'#anyway college is a scam. the community aspect was incredibly cool but I don't see why we as a culture need to only be able to access that#kind of community when we are paying a scam Institution a shitload of money for Educations that aren't helpful for the majority of us#if College was free then people could actually study things that are useful or fun for them#I took most of my courses just to fill out my major too. the point wasn't to learn it was to graduate.#and then it turned out that if you're disabled in the way i am it doesn't matter if you have a college degree!#but I'm sure miles would say I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. and that's why I'm glad his life got exploded š#andi kept him around for his money - why else would he be there when no one even liked him??#he was the bankroll#one time I swear to god we just had the guy from American Psycho just a real ass Patrick Bateman#it was wild watching that movie later and being like ???? I know this guy!#outside of the actual murder scenes everything in that movie is not exaggerated in the slightest those bitches really are like that#like my parents are not 1% level rich so there'd be no giant loans but they are rich. it'd be stupid to act like i didn't benefit from that
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Recent ones of these even though they all look the same lol.. forcing myself to document progress..
#I can average like 2500 words a day for a while and then something gets in the way and I don't write for a week or something#which then sort of erases my previous Doing Good At Keeping Up With It lol.. but... alas#Still moving slowly forward...#There's a 'community board' place in game where you can go to look at a few things and some of whats there is little 'odd jobs' the player#can do for a little extra coin (since you can buy items in the game/might need coin).#Thhough of course since it's just interactive fiction/visual novel it's not like... actual minigames or something. Just like..#mini stories of your character going places and doing stuff and having some interactions with the other places in the world#Like for example since modern refrigerators don't exist in this world one of the odd jobs you can do is help with doing ice deliveries#or there's one odd job where you assist a guy recharging the city's main bell tower/time keeping place by helping him go around and replace#the iriminel crystals (kind of like magical batteries - stones that are able to store energy that way and be used to fuel passive#enchantments). or one where you help food prep for the cooks at a nearby automat. etc. etc.#Just little short things to get a better glimpse of how the wider city is outside of just interacting with the main characters. plus earn#a tiny bit of coin. Though because they're so short there's not really branching paths or anything much for choices beyond#usually an optional dialogye menu where you can talk to the person you're working with and ask them personal#or work related questions if inclined to do so. It'd be cool if they were more in depth but.......erugh...#I have so much writing left to do already lol.. Also since it's really just to get money I could have just had them#all be like a single sentence of 'you go here and you do this all day then you come home. + 15 coins. yaay' and thats all#So maybe it's a middle ground to elaborate upon them at all. Just enough extra details to maybe be a little interesting#like ''ooh my character is in a little cart riding through the misty morning forest on their way to deliver ice'' . but also not so much#that it takes away time from like... the literal actual main game lol#ANYWAY. That's what all these are. There are like 10 optional little world exploring/job things you can do. and each I guess seem to be#about 2.500 words ish. That's including the optional chatting menus though. but still. reasonable for a little side thing I guess.#I got finished with one character's quests and stuff so I decided to take a break to work on some of the other little things like the Odd#Jobs and the 8 characters you can find around the world to have short conversations with that aren't actual main characters either. etc.#Then I shall return back to the Main Actual Things. ... augh...... still so much to do...#Which I could also just cut everything extra out but... idk.. since it's mostly all text I feel the need to give more options to flesh out#the actual setting somehow. Since in a 3D game you can walk around and explore the world and stuff. And of course there#are pictures. but it would take me infinitely longer to do detailed art of so much of the entire city youre in or etc. So i guess my versio#of still having some amount of ''exploration'' is just.. set up optional paths where more of the world can at least be Described.#You can't actually walk through a 3d orchard. or an elaborate bell tower. or an elven shrine. But you can Read About being in them LOL
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All I want in life is another how to train your dragon game thatās just like School of Dragons but better for F2P and more dragons and better graphics, please if any divine diety exists please I beg of thee I need this
#I would also take a free Minecraft mod#because SOME YOUTUBER decided to do something illegal and make his cost money >:(#iykyk#seriously I canāt describe how much I need this#I WANT TO COLLECT THOSE FLYING LIZARDS LIKE THEYRE POKĆMON#I HAVE TO CATCH āEM ALL#YOU DONT UNDERSTAND#PLEASE ID EVEN TAKE A FUCKING GACHA GAME#httyd#how to train your dragon#if I do take on coding as a career choice#you best believe I am getting this done#rise of dragons is pretty close#but you kind of have to either have premium or infinite time to get stuff done :/#also i would just really want an open world game
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what do i have to do to get more people to play persona 2. you guys would love persona 2 i promise. it's a little annoying to play but it's worth it guys. it's worth it. tatsuya. trust me guys.
#bobtalk#innocent sin set up to eternal punishment gut punch <- only persona game that made me full on cry. lmao#set that shit to easy grab a walkthrough and blaze through those dungeons for peak story. trust.#use save states. nobody needs to know!#i can teach you the emulator casino trick for basically infinite money....trust. trust.#i can help you set up the emulator in the first place...what do i have to do...ill do it...#do you guys like...repressed memories? gut wrenching sibling relationships? rumors made reality?#the lowkey feeling of dread sometimes felt in 5r's thirdsem but Way Way Way Worse? the unrelenting passage of time?#fucked up and evil god? daddy issues? identity issues? love was there and it mattered? theres lgbt rep if thats what it takes.#uh. k/atsuya suou moe....?#ok. um. playing 1 first is probably very well advised but well i didnt do that. i probably shouldve. but. LOL#trust. trust. trust.#p2posting#<-i guess.
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