#i need like 10 years to process this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

creepyscritches · 4 days ago

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Defending a for-profit healthcare model to protect widespread access to basic care is the clown nose I never thought I'd wear but here we are. Some punks must honk during the workday.

#Creepy chatter #Punk as in pride-less I don't care dude lol #I will meatshield in front of the stupidest money centered talking points if the end goal is easier access to health care #Told my partner I've hit the point where I just don't care about the stupid shit happening at the top of the ladder #Bc bureaucratic processes keep the dumbest shit from trickling down in the first place #But I would happily clap and balance a treat on Trump's nose every day he did not fuck up health care #Playing to ego in gov shit is so much easier than arguing against capital #Oh look at you yes you did great today look at that 1 million more people on insurance this year compared to last :)#RFK Jr and Dr Oz running HHS and CMS is so fucking stupid like okay money pigs I see you will be easy to shut the fuck up w $$$#Don't break shit for 10 months and idc how much hollow applause it takes to keep you making the decisions we need you to lol #Cookie on the nose and shut the fuck up

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nhescio · 10 months ago

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Murder Family

#hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #abigail hobbs #hannigram #murder husbands #murder family #nbc hannibal #nhesdocs #pls bring them back to me #why did i have to go through thinking abigail died twice #like was that necessary???#did you feel anything seeing me cry #asdfjkskfjh #brb currently need 10 business years to process this #okay sorry for that rambling just watched mizumono

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onyourstageleft · 7 months ago

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#dan and phil #weed #besties i am so high rn i am losing it #i took like one too many bong hits #started playing flight rising on the desktop computer bc it loads so much faster than my chromebook #opened youtube to have something on the second monitor #found dan and phil's fuckin lofi album???#lost my absolute shit about it #went to post about it from tumblr mobile but wanted to make this meme to do it justice so pulled up a meme editor on my desktop #(the meme editor had so many advanced text options since when have meme editors come this far??)#anyway made the meme realized my phone is at super low battery so decided to just log on to tumblr to post it directly from the desktop #even though i'm nearly exclusively a mobile user now and have been for years #so i have to log in to tumblr and now i'm experiencing making a post from the desktop site while still pretty blitzed #is it firefox that allows me to edit the tags after i've typed them or is that a desktop thing now #oh shit do i have any extensions on #depending on what imported from chrome when i changed my browser like six months ago this may be some sort of extension #whatever it is im okay with it this is great #i'm having such a good time right now genuinely #also watched chappell roan's hot to go music video for the first time during an interlude in the whole meme making process #there is currently a restoration video playing in the other tab that's been going for 10 minutes while i've been making this post #this is me living my best life honestly #i need at least one person to acknowledge the journey of tags on this post if only so i know I'm not alone in knowing my experience

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corvid-language-library · 3 months ago

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"I can't wait to do nothing all day!" *Immediately gets stuck into catching up on work things*

#chough chatterings #in my defence those work things are making lesson materials and it's kinda fun and creative #i'm in the process of making month cards to use for the date at the start of class (bc the picture cards we're provided with suck and bc #one of my senpais always does the date at the start of her classes and the kids are generally a much higher level)#(like i have way too many students who barely know the days of the week/months of the year and can't count past 10. i wanna fix that)#i just need an image for november. and then i need to colour them and mount them and laminate them #but hopefully i'll have the opportunity to do that next week

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autisticlee · 6 months ago

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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!

#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has #autistic #autism #actually autistic #adhd #neurodivergent #audhd #school #school problems #yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change #if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities #ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and #suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all #and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of #the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape #too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed #the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly #without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick #accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing #disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers #and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars #and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all #fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!

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deus-ex-mona · 5 months ago

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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:

#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there #like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying #and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao #w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol #i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms #dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh #but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign #hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do #or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help #prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests #ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone #a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol #sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh #omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!

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dangoarts · 1 year ago

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unfortunately for everyone especially myself i am still thinking about minecraft story mode

#long rant in tags up ahead oops #I AM. NORMALLY UPSET ABOUT ELLEGAARD'S DEATH.#i feel so cringe screaming about the show that gave me so much psychic damage but liek #ellegaard was an influential character that led a whole city #you'd. you'd think there'd be a memorial service.#or like jesse would be more visibly upset and emotionally damaged over witnessing her death and indirectly being the cause of her death #but no #the best thing we got was a brief scene of them going 'oh no she died! :( anyway the wither survivors tho'#i get that they're good guys n all and they were probably like 'i'm devastated by this but i need to pocket that to process later to get-#-these people to safety' but COME ON #justice for ellegaard #the playthrough i watched had ellegaard die if you didn't figure it out through this ramble #i probably would've been as attached to magnus as i was to ellegaard if i saw his arc at boom town but the playthrough chose redstone land #which like yeah samesies #ANYWAY. MAIN TAG TIME SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE IN TAGS (not sorry)#mcsm #minecraft story mode #AND THE FACT THAT THE PIG GOT MORE OF A MEMORIAL THAN HER REALLY RUBBED SALT IN THE WOUND FOR ME #sorry reuben fans i didn't care for him at all #yes this is a kids show meant for 10 year olds yes i'm overanalyzing it what else am i supposed to do on a monday #if i ever make a fix it rewrite story you have full legal permission to ban my tumblr account /j /silly #blood tw #tw blood

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justalittlebluetiefling · 4 months ago

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I do think the hardest part about actually writing a whole novel for the first time is having to constantly remind myself that first drafts are allowed to suck. They are not meant to be perfect. They're allowed to be filled with half thoughts where you need to go back later because you can't figure out what you need to fix until there are words on a page. Like, allowing myself to feel like I am bad at something and still continuing to push might be the biggest way I've grown in my entire life.

#if you can't tell i feel like i am bad right now because this chapter was a half-assed afterthought in my outline lol #i mean obviously i don't feel like i am BAD at writing #i just know that the good parts come at the end of the process #and it's something that you constantly grow in #like my writing now is so different than my writing 10 years ago in the best way #idk deciding to write a book this year was so weird but i am really glad i'm finally doing it #i've always been so scared of writing original fiction because it's just such a vulnerable thing (for me)#(and i'm sure other people but yeah you know what i mean)#don't get me wrong i am INCREDIBLY satisfied with some of these first draft scenes #but there are chapters that i know have to exist and to make them better i have to fix some of my world building #but i can't figure out where i need to fix the thing until it's written because i can't see it when it's just in my head #personal

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vreemd · 5 months ago

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it's so. weird how you're not allowed to be therapy critical or anti therapy even if you've yourself been in therapy for 15+ years and it was completely useless or even detrimental. and you see other people like you going down the same path. therapy does not work for everyone and it's a huge fucking money and energy sink.

like especially when it comes to cptsd I just personally feel like that is literal physical brain damage. talking about it has the same effect as talking extensively about a broken leg and pretending it doesn't need a splint.

like a physical injury needs rest. you're not going to keep purposely dislodging an open fracture expecting it to magically heal so why do this exact thing to trauma sufferers. useless.

#like therapy works for some people and it absolutely destroys others. that is a reality #I am literally still relearning to rely on myself and trust instead of vilify my own emotions #this will remain a work in progress for so long. my trauma healing was completely derailed by having to bring it up on a weekly basis every #fucking. week. every fucking week the same fucking shit of oh I feel guilty I feel like it's my fault (I don't) I need to keep it at the #forefront of my mind and I absolutely cannot just let it rest and process it at my own pace because that is #self sabotage! only listen to us and what you feel is always incorrect!#like do you see how damaging that is for 10+ years from age fucking 12 #I genuinely feel like untangling my therapy trauma is more complicated and time consuming than my literal cptsd #anyways if it helps you that's cool but it doesn't help everyone. so be mindful #m

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serenedash · 9 months ago

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I have chronic "loving minor character" disease and it's fatal. anyway here's Ceodore again in both hair colors (I prefer him blond,)

[DO NOT REPOST/REMOVE COMMENT]

#I used myself as a reference on this lmfao #also didnt feel like drawing his weird headband thingy okay #I learned. so much in the process of doing this drawing.#thank you ceodore giving me +10 art skill #told myself all I need to do is draw one very detailed picture of him to get it all out of my system now we see if thats true #art #ceodore harvey #final fantasy #final fantasy 4 #final fantasy iv #ff4 #ffiv #the after years

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shoutsindwarvish · 1 year ago

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two different rabbis directly to me + multiple places online: jewish imposter syndrome is real and is (to varying degrees) almost a universal experience in one way or another

me, who has been actively practicing for over nine months and taken multiple classes while also being halachically jewish by birth: i am the exception and am an imposter in jewish spaces and should feel bad about it. no i will not elaborate on why i believe this is true of me and no one else.

#to be clear NONE of this shame is being messaged to me by my shul #i’m just so insecure since i was raised religiously christian and only officially stopped attending church in 2020 #*february 2020 #even though i’d been drawn to judaism and deeply uncomfortable with christianity for years before that #and also had a degree of jewish identity through my family and celebrating holidays secularly growing up #i stayed as long as i did because 1) the liturgy was familiar #and 2) i’d be guaranteed to see my best friend once a week #converts have to go through a gauntlet. i feel like i’ve…cheated.#part of me wonders if i should pursue an affirmation #whether it would help i mean #but if i did my jewish grandfather would rise from the grave and say ‘YOU DON’T NEED IT BECAUSE YOU’RE PERFECTLY JEWISH AS YOU ARE’#on the other hand he was also an atheist and probably would have mixed feelings on me practicing at all #although i’m not the only grandkid who’s done so #two of my cousins (their mom is my mom’s sister) were raised catholic but switched to judaism at least 10 years ago #to my knowledge neither of them went through an affirmation process #ughhhhh #my posts #jumblr #i guess i did elaborate why in the tags huh

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ignorancelive · 10 months ago

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landlords PLEASE die horrendous fiery deaths why are they literally doubling our rent and getting past rent control by only starting to document our rent prices after the first half of the increase 😐 kill yourself right now

#we've been here for 10 years and paid rent in cash and now theyre like oh you're paying a lot less rent than others in the area #first of all NO SHIT WHY ELSE WOULD BE STAY HERE but also 1.3k to 2k to 2.7k within 6-7 months is CRAZY YOURE INSANE DIE DIE DIE DIE #and i cant get a job bc my moms getting surgery next week so i have to stay home and take care of her and cook #AND my dads on unemployment :) so thanks #our food stamps are in the process of being approved so hopefully we'll have a semi stable income for food soon #idk. i needed to rant somewhere im so mad #we're considering moving out and getting a new place w the neighbors who theyre also increasing rent for #and who also have their main income source out of a job rn bc thats just how trucking is in january #but they have a daughter in elementary school how do you do that and not feel like a spineless asshole #this isnt even your HOUSE its your moms!!!!! and she was a million times less of an asshole #shes actually the one that kept our rent the same but she moved to latam like! do you think shes fucking proud of you! shes NOT #anyways if you see me post my v mo and p pal soon this is why

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astramachina · 2 months ago

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*holds up a finger* boy do i wish that was me tho ngl