#even though i’d been drawn to judaism and deeply uncomfortable with christianity for years before that
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two different rabbis directly to me + multiple places online: jewish imposter syndrome is real and is (to varying degrees) almost a universal experience in one way or another
me, who has been actively practicing for over nine months and taken multiple classes while also being halachically jewish by birth: i am the exception and am an imposter in jewish spaces and should feel bad about it. no i will not elaborate on why i believe this is true of me and no one else.
#to be clear NONE of this shame is being messaged to me by my shul#i’m just so insecure since i was raised religiously christian and only officially stopped attending church in 2020#*february 2020#even though i’d been drawn to judaism and deeply uncomfortable with christianity for years before that#and also had a degree of jewish identity through my family and celebrating holidays secularly growing up#i stayed as long as i did because 1) the liturgy was familiar#and 2) i’d be guaranteed to see my best friend once a week#converts have to go through a gauntlet. i feel like i’ve…cheated.#part of me wonders if i should pursue an affirmation#whether it would help i mean#but if i did my jewish grandfather would rise from the grave and say ‘YOU DON’T NEED IT BECAUSE YOU’RE PERFECTLY JEWISH AS YOU ARE’#on the other hand he was also an atheist and probably would have mixed feelings on me practicing at all#although i’m not the only grandkid who’s done so#two of my cousins (their mom is my mom’s sister) were raised catholic but switched to judaism at least 10 years ago#to my knowledge neither of them went through an affirmation process#ughhhhh#my posts#jumblr#i guess i did elaborate why in the tags huh
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