#i need him to make a tutorial on how to manifest

[likeanageoldclassic]

how it started vs how it’s going

[importantbluebirdpoetry]

how it started vs how it’s going

[roo-bastmoon]

Our "Why"

If you want to manifest something, you've got to feel the feelings of it already being a reality, until it is made real.

I know why I stream and buy and share tutorials and vote like an unhinged obsessed person, even though I have crazy work and school deadlines.

It's because this very kind-hearted, highly intelligent, extremely talented, breathtakingly humble young man needs to know.

He needs to KNOW his Hot100 wasn't a fluke. It wasn't bots. It wasn't stream farms. It wasn't random luck.

He needs to know that no matter how many haters (online or in the industry) try and mess with him, we have his back. We will show up.

Next week, during that short window of time when soldiers get to look at their cell phones, he should lie down on his bed, open up that screen, check to see how things went, perhaps a little nauseated with nerves...

And see nothing but pure love and triumph! High charting. Sales that make him untouchable. Reviews that rave about his vision and his skill.

He should know in the marrow of his bones.

The thousands of hours of practice, of going back to the basics, of having a hand in every element of design, the physical and mental strain, the raw, aching fatigue--it was all worth it. He's seen. He's appreciated. He's understood.

I do all this because I want a good person to KNOW they are loved for being good. That despite all the corruption and heartache in this world, good things still happen to good people.

I don't want to brag to antis or other kpop stans. I don't want to crow about Jimin's accolades because I feel superior or more powerful. I don't want to feel like *I* accomplished something, here.

I want to be able to sleep peaceful when this done, sure that we all did our best, gave every inch, crossed every barrier, stayed the course and kept going...

All to get Jimin safely landed so securely in success that no one questions his value or his artistic choices ever again -- least of all him.

Do you know your Why?

Manifest it.

[hopeforchanges]

I'm actually marveling at your portrayal of Palpatine. Sure, in the new sith obi-wan au, but in every iteration I've read from you, it doesn't even compare to anything else I've read, I just can see and hear Palpy so clearly when you write him. It's disgusting how i character he is every time. I need like ... a tutorial? :D Pls??

haha, thank you :) yeah, ngl Palpatine IS the toughest character to get right and I will die on this hill; he is absolutely more difficult to write than Obi-Wan.

The tutorial consists of knowing how a groomer operates, essentially. Sure, you have the traits of psychopathy and sociopathy, the blatant narcissism, the delusions of being better than everyone, but if you want my two cents, (obviously you do when you sent this ask lol) the real core of his villainy is his grooming behavior. Sociopathy and psychopathy do not necessarily lead to evil, many diagnosed people lead fulfilling lives that do not cause them or others any destruction. Sociopathy and psychopathy are NOT inherently evil.

Grooming is evil by nature. And groomers absolutely follow a rulebook.

Step one: Targeting a vulnerable person. (Groomers have a radar for people who are in a vulnerable position - orphaned kids, traumatized people, homeless people, etc., could be anything.)

Step two: Gaining trust. (the victims of grooming call this 'kindness' - much like Anakin does on many occasions - when in reality, it's rehearsed empathy. It's a performance. They're nice to you, bring you gifts, take care of your most basic needs - food, shelter, companionship to make you feel like there's somebody in this world who actually gives a shit about you.

Step three: Isolating the target from their loved ones. If you are completely alone, that's a win for them, obviously. But because they more often than not target minors, there's someone taking care of them, at least one person who goes: this guy/gal has rancid vibes, I don't want you to hang out with them anymore. The groomer convinces the victim that their caretaker has nefarious motivations/goals (projecting much) and that if the victim calls the authority, they will be the one who's actually in trouble, not the groomer.

Step four: Slowly exposing the target to sexual stuff. This could be anything, really, it could start by just showing the victim porn without rhyme or reason to instructing them to perform some mild sexual acts. In Palpatine's case, this manifests as exposing the target to the power of the dark side and encouraging them to use it. However, do I think that Palpatine was entirely uninterested in Anakin in a sexual way? My feelings on this vary - sometimes I do see it and sometimes I don't. I see the constant unnecessary touching and constantly invading Anakin's personal space and I'm like: I need to perform exorcism on myself until I don't remember ever seeing this ever again. Then I see the intent behind and I think - hm, perhaps this is purely a slaver's touch asserting dominance over his property. Like I said, my feelings on this are unclear. Let's just say it's really fucking gross either way, which is something we can all agree on.

Step five: The actual sex. Again, in Palpatine's case, this manifests as revealing himself for who he is (abuser) and taking Anakin (the abused) down with him.

TLDR; you have to have the process of grooming at the forefront of your mind to write Palpatine well - even if in different aus his victim does not need to always be Anakin.

boy i did not mean for this shit to be this long lmao i hope this helps clarify not just how to effectively write Palpy but also for my girls and boys who may stumble upon a groomer irl.

Please be safe out there and talk to whoever you can to help you if you encounter a groomer.

[tokiro07]

Ichi the Witch ch. 3 thoughts

[The Hunt Begins!]

(Contents: narrative establishment - flow; lore - exposition/speculation; philosophy - respect for life)

Go With the Flow

Ah, there we are! If chapters 1 and 2 were meant to establish the setting, themes and dynamics of the cast, then as I noted was missing before, chapter 3 is meant to establish the flow of the series as a whole. Though it seems like it's only a glimpse, having a lot of the legwork happen off-screen, this is clearly what the series is intended to look like going forward - Ichi learning the habits of Magiks, applying his prior experience and knowledge, then finally passing the trial

Since this one was meant to just be a tutorial, and because Ichi doesn't have the capacity for extended magical fights yet, this hunt was practically over before it began, which admittedly makes it not all that exciting as the first "battle" of Ichi's story. However, it does to a great job of establishing just how much of a threat Ichi is to the Magiks

Raiko never really knew that Ichi was there, and all of his planning towards fighting Witches in a grand display of power were thwarted without him ever realizing he'd so much as seen one. He saw what he thought was defenseless prey and the next thing he knew he was dead(?)

Obviously future Magik fights won't be this easy, but it was important that we got at least one in before dragging Ichi to the Witches Association, as otherwise the first three chapters would be almost exclusively exposition with no real action. While this brief hunt may not really capture a lot of people's attention, it will certainly do more to retain that attention than the alternative

Plus, it's not like there wasn't any exposition in this chapter

Breadcrumbs

Ichi the Witch's approach to worldbuilding seems to be answering questions with more questions. Raiko claims that he manifested in "this world," which suggests that Magiks appear fully formed without the need for parents or reproduction, but that begs the question of how. Are they random? Are they in response to some kind of stimulus? Are they born in that moment, or are they born in another world first and then come here?

This method always gives you more information than you had previously, but also gives you something to chew on, kind of like Undead Unluck revealing that stars or the days of the week don't exist. You can take that information at face value, but it's always clear that there's something more going on with it that's rife to be explored, and pondering those questions between chapters is always a great way to keep the audience engaged (at least if that audience is me)

The lifecycle of a Magik is further enlightened/obscured by the fact that Raiko doesn't seem to need to eat; he spent two weeks barbequing every animal he could find, but instead of eating them he just leaves them lying around cus he likes the smell. Do Magiks subsist on mana in the air? The pain wrought by their mischief? Anything? Whether they need to eat at all, at the very least this behavior paints Magiks in clear opposition to Ichi's Death for Death rule

Speaking of, can Magiks even die? Both of the trials we've seen so far have effectively been "take my heart," but at least in Uroro's case he clearly persisted afterwards, and plenty of trials seem to be non-violent (at least towards the Magik, such as holding a flame for an hour or walking through the wind for 1000 miles)

When a Magik is turned into a stone, is that tantamount to their death, even if only temporary until the death of the Witch that holds them? Or is it more like a Pokeball, and they can be summoned or otherwise interacted with at the leisure of the Witch? Desscaras has yet to summon any of hers despite clearly having a myriad of spells, is that because she doesn't like doing so, because Witches as a whole are opposed to it, or because they can't?

Ichi notes that Uroro didn't turn into a stone, but I would argue that he did - it's just that his also had an entire ensemble around it too. The clasp on the cape clearly resembles Uroro's heart gem, which I took to mean that it was the same gem that Ichi had just stabbed in ch.1, with the rest of the outfit literally being Uroro's body cloaking itself around Ichi

Actually, since Ichi is a hunter and therefore inclined to wear the pelts of what he hunts, I wonder if he'll get unique outfits depending on the spells he casts...it is a bit of a shame that he didn't get to butcher Raiko...

Anyway, even if the gem in the outfit is Uroro's magic stone, it is still notably unique in that it has an ornate insignia in it rather than a chant as Raiko's does. Since Uroro grants the ability to amplify other spells, it seems likely that Uroro doesn't actually have a chant of his own (though I'm willing to bet he'll get one later)

I'm also curious if the chants are distinct from the names of the Magiks - I imagine so, since there's nothing stopping Ichi from just saying "Raiko" after hearing it introduce himself, especially considering that he was able to use both Lazud and Parthion without ever facing their Magiks. Presumably the chants are words in the Magik language that describe how their powers work, since again Ichi only needed to say the words themselves rather than the preceding command ("Pierce through all - Lazud" -> "Lazud")

Finally, there's the matter of the spells themselves. With over 3000 confirmed Magiks, there was always bound to be a ton of overlap between them, and Raiko gives us a good idea of how that overlap might look. He explicitly states that he wants to become the greatest of all Lightning Magiks, strongly suggesting that Magiks have categorical types

Dau, the spell to control water, is likely only one of many water-based spells, each having some way of distinguishing themselves from each other. Perhaps one allows the creation of water? Or the destruction of water? Stagnation? Location? Summoning? Integration? Absorption? Theft? Any number of verbs can be applied to any number of nouns, and each one has the potential to be its own unique spell given the framework that we know currently

The way that Raiko uses its lightning, it doesn't seem like lightning strikes in the traditional sense. The bird we see him fry in the beginning seems to just explode into electricity, which is confirmed later to have been targeting its blood to boil it from within. In other words, Raiko's power seems to be something like "the blood electrocution spell," whereas other Lightning Magiks may have things like "the magnetism spell" or "the static discharge spell"

How general or specific the spells are is up in the air right now that we can barely begin to speculate, but that's exactly what makes it so fun at this stage! When Undead Unluck started, I just threw out a bunch of "un" words to see what kind of things I could come up with, and while I guessed a few right and got the general gist of a few others, the final product was still far beyond anything I could have imagined on my own, both in scope and quality

Even if I end up being completely wrong about everything I've said so far in the last several paragraphs, the fact that this series is getting my wheels turning so much so soon is a great sign for how much I'll be able to engage with it going forward

Speaking of being wrong, I do want to note that there was one specific thing I said last week that was pretty much immediately debunked in this chapter

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Based on Death for Death, I figured that the whole point of Ichi's approach to fighting Magiks was to demonstrate a flaw in the Witches' mentality, that since Uroro objected to how Magik culture was being treated the Witches must be callous and indiscriminate in hunting them

However, it would seem that to Witches, combat with Magiks is a fairly formal affair steeped in tradition, with each encounter being treated as an honorable dual against a worthy adversary. Even if they view them as monsters to be slain, there's a level of dignity that comes with facing them down and proclaiming one's name. It purports that the two are equals, even if diametrically opposed

Ichi, on the other hand, has no respect for tradition or the wants of the Magik. They're little more than glorified beasts, animals that happen to possess the gift of speech, and killing them is simply a matter of course. It's not about honor or glory, it's about survival, a primal need rather than a show of civility

Of course, there's still plenty of room for nuance in this. While the Witches seem to respect the Magiks as monsters to be battled with utmost caution, they also still view them as monsters. To protect civilians, killing Magiks is a Witches duty; it's effectively pest control. If there's a Magik, it's a threat, and it needs to be eliminated

But to Ichi? Magiks are living creatures. If a living creature kills to eat, that's simply what it needs to do, and it can't be held accountable for that. However, what it means to kill and eat is also a living thing, and therefore cannot be held accountable for its need to retaliate. Whoever wins was just more fit for survival, and neither is more morally justified than the other

In other words, when a Witch sees a Magik, they respect its power by dealing with it, but when Ichi sees one, he respects it by leaving it be until it proves itself to be a threat. Neither of them is necessarily wrong, but viewed from a certain angle, they're both flawed approaches, and I think both are going to need to be addressed down the line

Still, we're only on chapter three, so the nuance of these opposing ideas has only barely been touched upon, with minor analysis from the three core members of the cast. Once we start seeing more castmates, such as other Witches, Magiks and civilians, we should start to get a clearer picture of the dichotomy of this world's philosophy. I imagine seeing the teachings of the academy in Mantinel will be a great place to start

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[skybristle]

19 + 23

since u didn't specify i'll do whoever first comes to mind with the question

19 - Does your iterator know who Sliver of Straw is? If so, what do they think of her?

sparks: i think it's interesting because she's basically the only iterator in bh who's still really commited to the great problem after mass ascension [starlight and ash were pretty diligent too but broke off after the ancients left].

it's mainly out of *needing* something to do to distract herself from the pain and the itchiness in her expanded structure. and she's always been a Very innovative and unique thinker, she is genuinely somehwat famous for pioneering a lot of methods and etc that iterators use while iterating. always coming up with new things, always thinking. and i think thats kind of a manifestation of how desprate she is to be free of her pain and escape. she needs out of this can she needs out of this body and it all hurts and she needs *out*, she needs ascension, she needs to leave all this pain behind. if only there was a perfect string of code to execute to do so. and that's exactly what sliver found.

sparks probably WAS one of the people combing through her remains, desprately, desprately trying to find something. as cycles passed and nobody found anything conclusive and that flare of hope began to die.

i honestly think that hopelessness and that denial of an escape and sparks beginning to realize oh god this might all be for nothing and i might never find a way out is what slowly begins her spiral into wrath and eventual violence in an attempt to make it stop hurting.

oops i just talked about sparks. i love you sliver of straw go make my girl worse

23 - When using overseers, what is your iterator's favorite thing to watch/look at?

chimes: there's a slugcat colony near his can he fucking LOVES watching. just. watching them do their thing. the colony trusts him and doesnt' mind him around so his overseers are even allowed to see The Tiniest Babies and yes chimes exlodes into tears every time. theyre so little. So microscopic and weenie. Single celled ass organisms like those really fucked up baby kittens. he just really appreciates their way of life and in a way his relationship with them reminds him of that with his citizens who he misses dearly and used to spend much of his time observing and helping. his overseers also probably act similar to the tutorial one in that it tries to help slugcats find food, warn them of danger or approaching rain, etc etc. he archives and catalougues a lot of the slugcats and their victories and liniages, just as he once would for the citizens of chorus. the local colony is actually quite developed since they refuse to 'leave chimes behind' [as they believe his immobility is something like a disability]

he also does like scavs though they just don't enter his can so he hasn't gotten as close to them. finds their soceities interesting to observe though....

[piedoesnotequalpi]

12, 17, 18, 29 for the ask game! - @pigeonwit

Hi Pidge :)

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

I've had to be very careful about WIPs due to working on How It Will Be! So in terms of WIPs that actually have things written, there's HIWB (of course) and a Sprace meet cute one-shot inspired by this swing dance video I've seen floating around tumblr. I have documents with some planning notes, but I haven't actually started writing those, and some of them are Bachelorette AU tie-ins that I can't really write until HIWB is done. I still need to write my exchange and mini bang fics, but those don't have documents yet (😬)

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Race! I've given him a lot of roles--a depressed, somewhat emotionally constipated professor (in a fic I ultimately hid on AO3 (I can dig up the tutorial on how to do that for anyone who wants it)); Jack's scheming best friend/roommate (Take the elephant by the hand); an offputting not-quite-human (Still Through the Leaves); and of course the over-the-top Bachelorette host. It's been cool to figure out how his personality traits manifest in each AU, and I am very excited to make him go through some stuff in the next couple chapters of HIWB.

Honorable mention to Crutchie, because while he cares a lot about his friends he is also a menace, which is always entertaining. In the Much Ado-niverse, he has a very specific way of talking (gratuitous fancy words, mostly) that I really enjoy writing, but given his different background/career choices/interests in HIWB I didn't think it made sense to carry that over.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

I don't know if it's trouble necessarily, but out of all the non-POV characters in HIWB, Albert has consistently had the most going on behind the scenes, as it were. But because he isn't a POV character, everything we know about him comes exclusively from dialogue and how the POV characters interpret his actions. Figuring out what he was thinking/feeling in the more emotionally charged scenes while also figuring out how much of that he'd want to reveal (and what characters figure out) was definitely an interesting process. I rewrote the scene in the Reykjavik chapter where he and Charlie first kissed at least 3-4 times because I was so worried about getting it right.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

There are a lot of one-liners that I really like, and there's a scene early-ish in HIWB where Jack is being a bi disaster about Davey and Katherine that I think is fun, but my favorite has to be the opening of chapter 8 in the now-hidden fic I've referenced. Race is a trans guy in that AU, and he spends some time before he realizes that he's trans questioning his sexuality, and this scene is the aftermath of some of that pre-transition questioning going slightly sideways. Anyway, the scene is under the cut (Race is referred to with she/her due to the scene taking place pre-realization):

After Race broke up with her girlfriend, she went back to the half of a duplex that she shared with a couple perpetually absent medical students and shut herself in her room.

Dating Amelia had been–Not an experiment, Race reminded herself. You really thought you liked her. Amelia was also a PhD student, luckily in the robotics engineering department and therefore far enough removed from Race’s statistics program for them to have space post-breakup. They were friends, and Race had enjoyed spending time with her–except for the small problem that she’d eventually realized she wasn’t actually attracted to her.

Jack and David coming out senior year had turned out to be a catalyst for the rest of their friend group. Sarah had announced she was a lesbian part way through college, and Albert and Finch had both come out as gay and ended up in an on-and-off friends with benefits situation that Race tried to avoid knowing the details of. Charlie had said a couple years ago that he was still figuring things out, but between his friends, job, and disability rights activism, he thought he was probably too busy to date anyway. Even Spot and Katherine, who’d spent most of their lives struggling to fit the pictures their parents had of them, had come out to the general public via Facebook post on the same day in the fall. Which left Race, theoretically the token straight of the group, who was read as a lesbian even more now that she’d cut her hair short, donated the last dress and underwire bra in her closet, and wore as much L.L. Bean clothing as she could get her hands on.

She had thought that maybe she’d missed something along the way, that she really was secretly bisexual and had been in denial the whole time. She was sure she was interested in men–she’d had a few boyfriends in undergrad, and then there was the yearslong, semi-latent crush on–

No.

Race swallowed, staring vacantly at the collage of pictures she’d hung on her wall. There was her with Jack and Medda at her college graduation, her and Albert and David at a surprisingly quiet beach on the Cape, a picture of her undergrad dance troupe performing, and right in the middle, a picture of her sitting on a couch–she didn’t even remember where it was taken at this point–next to–

There was a chance that she just hadn’t found the right person in Amelia. But Race didn’t want to date another girl, knowing that she probably would just end up discovering she wasn’t attracted to them in the first place.

She and this theoretical girl deserved better.

[rubys-domain]

I finally got to play tcg with my bf. we'd been talking about doing it for a hecking while. now that it finally happened though... idk if I should be surprised that shoddy internet got in the way (as usual. it's always fucked things up when trying to do things together remotely). which lowered the mood a little bit. and I kept winning because it was literally his first time playing tcg after he did the tutorial like three weeks ago. and I guess I've gotten somewhat decent at deckbuilding at this point. first I used my trusty bennett-fischl-chong deck, then it soon became clear that there was no way in hell he'd win against that team. (he also really wants to use only the chibi characters and monsters, which means he won't be using a lot of the busted cards.) so for the rest of the matches I went with a sucrose-oceanid-kaeya deck. obviously I still put thought into that comp (because I'd feel bad using an actual random bullshit deck — I didn't want to make it look like I was looking down on him or something), but still way easier to beat than the first comp (at least I think it is). but he kept losing to that deck too.

he's definitely not the sore loser type, and he didn't seem all that bummed by not getting a single win. he was pleased that he actually killed one of my characters in the very last game, and he told me in jest that he would "have his revenge" in a rematch someday. I just feel bad for absolutely ripping him to shreds even though I didn't intend to. and because I realized the absolutely massive knowledge gap between us. he just needs to get familiar with what different effects/passives do and how they manifest, and learn the logic behind choosing a team comp (how each character would contribute, what rotation to use, the fact that this game relies on rotations at all, etc.) and choosing action cards for said comp. stuff that he's definitely no stranger to because he plays gwent and loves card games in general. I really do think he can kick my ass in this game; he just isn't familiar with all the things yet. and now I kinda want to think about how I would teach a complete noob how to play tcg. like yeah there's the in-game tutorial that teaches you the basic mechanics, but it doesn't at all teach you how to build an effective deck. you can't just throw big dps's in the same deck and expect to have a good time (flashbacks to when I ran a yae-zhongli-xiao deck to grind proficiency... *shudders*). you either have supports that help your main damage dealer survive and do more damage for big numbers (hypercarry), or you have multiple smaller damage dealers that can buff each other's damage via reactions to consistently chip away at the enemy's health (quickswap). it's very similar to the base game in that respect.

[helenaheissner]

Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 15

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

If that's too steep for you but you'd still like to support my work, consider making a one-time donation via Ko-Fi:

Thank you so much for your continued support of my work! Every little bit helps me to keep going :)

And now, back to our regularly scheduled nerdy romcom shenanigans!

***

Faith

Dark Shadows droned on my television screen while the effects of my weed gummy began to manifest. Everything was light and airy, and I laid on my back and watched the ceiling fan rotate while gothic soap opera nonsense served as the soundtrack to my stoned thought-ramblings. 

I wanted to focus on what was in front of me, I really did. But all I could think about was my rival going on a date with my best friend, and the green thornbush of envy strangling my heart. I’d resolved myself to be a graceful loser, going out of my way to support Zeke and Kate’s budding relationship. I’d done Kate’s makeup for her, and given her an extended tutorial on how to walk in heels, given her my old falsies. She’d looked, to be blunt, smoking hot when I was through with her. Zeke was a lucky guy, and hopefully he realized that. 

Kate, for her part, seemed to already know that she was a lucky girl. 

I still couldn’t believe she’d offered to stop pursuing Zeke for my benefit. The first guy you like, once you realize you swing that way, tends to have a downright intoxicating effect on you in my experience. That she’d have been willing to give that up just to make me happy… 

I was wrong about her. Or maybe I was right, but now she’d changed, and if I tried to keep acting like she was still a jerk, then I’d be the real jerk. She was a ray of freaking sunshine now. It was… Hard not to see the appeal. 

An image sparked in my mind, of Kate’s head resting on my lap, me stroking her hair, running my hands over her shoulders, tracing the outline of her lips with my fingers… 

I shook my head. That kind of thought wouldn’t help me at all in the days going forward. And honestly, it had been… Difficult to let myself feel attracted to another girl ever since Olivia left me. 

Another image burst across my mind’s eye, of Zeke stroking my hair while I rested my head in his lap, of him running his hands over the edges of my body… 

I shook my head again. I needed to stop this, otherwise I’d be veering dangerously close to fem-cel territory, and that was the last thing I wanted. Those two… Had each other now. If it didn’t work out, maybe I could pursue Zeke after he’d had an appropriate amount of time to grieve his former relationship. 

Assuming it went that far. Maybe tonight would go badly and then I could… 

No. Just no, Faith. Get over yourself. 

My hand was unconsciously drawn to my phone, resting on the coffee table, and I scrolled through my contacts and pulled up Olivia. My red-lacquered fingernail hovered over the call icon, and my hands began trembling. The phone slipped out and fell onto the floor, and as I reached for it, a furious knocking exploded from my front door. 

I groaned, then felt the sting of dysphoria as I realized I’d slipped into a low voice. I sat up, breathed a deep breath through my nose and held it in my chest while the knocking grew in rapidity and intensity. 

I exhaled, then walked over to the door. 

On the other side, I found a pale, dark-haired woman in her early fifties, her makeup a smudgy mess streaked across her blotchy face. She reeked of brandy and cigarettes, with ash-stains smeared across her white cardigan and blue skirt.

I sighed. “Hi, Mrs. Underhill.”

“Who are you?” she slurred, the traces of her Newcastle accent making themselves apparent. 

You’ve got to be kidding me- you’ve met me over a dozen times and you still don’t… Wait, she’s never seen me as a girl! Holy crap! Do I pass that well? Am I such a convincing girl that this idiot just straight-up doesn’t recognize me? I’ve gotta work with this. 

“Did my son finally get a girlfriend, then?” Mrs. Underhill spat. 

“No, I’m just his roommate,” I said, each word carefully plucked from the marijuana haze choking my mind. 

“Bah, his roommate- unbelievable, cohabitating with a young immigrant girl who doesn’t know better-”

My eyes narrowed. I see you’re the same as ever, bitch. “I was born here, ma’am. And both my parents are American citizens.”

“Are they, though?”

“Pretty sure I’d know that better than you.”

“Well, regardless, my scoundrel of a son should know better than to-”

“Don’t you talk about Zeke like that!” I snapped. “He’s a wonderful and upstanding young man!”

“Oh really? Well I’ve known him since the day he was born and I say he’s… Wait a moment.”

Oh, no. Paranoia stabbed through my chest, dread grasping my brain tightly. “Y-yes?”

“I completely forgot what I was here to talk about… Oh, right!” Mrs. Underhill said. 

“Y… Yeah?” I asked, the paranoia spreading to my stomach. 

“I’m getting a divorce!” 

My eyes shot way, way open. “That’s… Not actually surprising, honestly,” I said. Then my eyes went even wider at the realization that my dumb stoned brain said that out loud. Dammit, I was gonna give myself away!

“Wot d’you mean?” she said, her Britishness intensifying. 

“I, uh… Well, Zeke has, um, told me a lot about you and his dad.”

“Of course he did, that boy is completely incapable of keeping things- hic- in the family- hic,” she said. 

“Oh, wow, you are really plastered aren’t you, Mrs. Underhill?” I said, trying very hard not to giggle at this grown-ass woman drunk and hiccuping like a freaking sorority girl. 

“It’s- hic- Ms. Framing-h-h-ham to you, you little tart! Or it will be again soon. Ah never should have taken that miserable wretch’s last name. ‘Underhill.’ Wot a ridiculous name.” 

“Excuse you?!” I bit. 

“Oi, you heard me! You’re living with a young man in sin!” 

“It’s not like that!” I said, “I’m not Zeke’s girlfriend. We’ve never been… He and I are just friends!”

“Good, good- you don’t want anything to do with anything that came from my wretch of a soon to- hic- soon to- hic- soon to be ex-hic-husband!”

“Stop talking about my friend like that!” I said, stomping my foot. My voice dropped low again- DAMMIT!

Mrs. Underhill… Ms. Framingham’s eyes narrowed and she tilted her head to the side and leaned forward. “Frank? Is that you under all that nonsense, lad?”

“... You can’t prove that,” I said, my back stiffening. 

“Oi, you’ve got to be taking the piss- my good for nothing son is shacking up with a bloody tr-”

I slammed the door before she could finish. 

“You open this door right now, you little fairy! I will not tolerate you being around my son, you disgusting little-”

“I’m not just gonna stand there so you can lecture me, you drunk old bitch!” I hollered. “Now get out of here before I call the cops!”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Don’t call my bluff, lady! I’m from an Army family- you do NOT intimidate me!” God, I was way too high to deal with this. My chest was heaving up and down as I lumbered over to the couch and laid flat, clutching my phone tightly. I opened it, and Olivia’s contact was the first thing I saw. 

Dammit. I forgot what I’d just been doing. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“Let! Me! In!”

“Nancy?” a rough voice accented with the neutral tones of southern California spoke from the other side. Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.

“Sid? Wot are you doing here, you louse?!”

“I came to speak with our son about our divorce.”

“No, you didn’t! I did- you don’t get to beat me to the punch.”

“He’s not home!” I yelled, doing my best to maintain a feminine tone. 

“Who was that?” Mr. Underhill asked. 

“Frank- little pervert thinks he’s a girl now.”

“Oh, lovely. Our son’s taste certainly hasn’t improved, then.”

“Both of you need to leave, or I WILL CALL THE POLICE!” I screamed. 

“No you won’t, you don’t have the balls!” Mr. Underhill shouted through the door. I could practically hear the self-satisfied smirk on the old bastard’s face as he said it. 

“Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?” Zeke’s voice reached me like a light of hope shining from the sky above. 

“Ezekiel, I need to talk to you,” his father said. 

“Wot are you doin’, shacking up with that freak in there?” his mom said. “And now you’ve got another one on your arm there- wot on earth is wrong with you?”

My jaw clenched, and I stood up and marched outside. “Don’t insult him!” I shouted. “Your son is one of the best people I’ve ever met, and I will not listen to you insult him in his own home.”

“Zeke, are you really going to let this freak talk to us like that?” his father asked. He was taller than Zeke, noticeably so at over six foot six. Zeke got his mother’s shorter, leaner frame, but he shared his father’s curly black hair and tan skin and green eyes. Mr. Underhill smelled like cheap beer to go along with Ms. Framingham’s hard liquor aroma, his baggy Megadeth t-shirt tucked into his ill-fitting jeans. He was in remarkably good shape still, I had to give him that; they both were. Zeke had always described them as people who excelled at making others think nothing at all was wrong with them. 

Evidently, tonight the masks were off.  

Zeke gulped.

And behind him, Katie, oh poor, sweet, innocent Katie, trembled with a rage I recognized all too well. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides, but her eyes flickered with apprehension. Poor thing. She was worried about taking another step backwards. 

She shouldn’t have to do that. Not after her first date with the boy she liked. 

I marched past Zeke’s parents and grabbed both Zeke and Katie by the wrists, and pulled them into the apartment and slammed the door. 

“Unbelievable!” Mr. Underhill said. “You stupid little tr-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” Zeke snapped. “You will not insult my friends. Now get out, or I’ll call the cops!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Ms. Framingham said. 

“Ezekiel, c’mon, don’t be like that,” Mr. Underhill said. “We need to tell you something important!”

“Then stop burying the lede and say it!” Zeke said. 

“Not until you come out here, young man!”

“Your parents are getting divorced,” I said. 

Katie put a hand over her mouth in shock, her eyes wide as she backed further into my apartment.

Zeke blinked. “What?”

“Oh for God’s sake- he wasn’t meant to tell you!” Ms. Framingham said. 

“So it’s true?” Zeke said through the door. 

“... Yes.”

“Alright. Can’t say I’m surprised,” Zeke said. “Now I know. So you can leave.”

“Is that seriously all you have to say?” 

“I’m calling the police now,” Zeke said. 

“I already did,” I said, holding up my phone and hitting the speaker button. 

“9-1-1 what’s your emergency?” said the operator on the other end of the line. 

“Bloody hell!” Ms. Framingham said as she stomped off. 

“Jesus Christ,” Mr. Underhill mumbled as he did the same. 

“Oh, just a couple of pests who wouldn’t leave,” I said to the dispatcher. “It’s taken care of, though. Have a great night!”

I hung up, and then the three of us all looked at each other. 

Well, that’s not quite true: Katie and I looked at each other, and then at Zeke, who’d slipped into a thousand-yard stare. Katie clung to his arm and said, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t… I don’t know,” he replied. 

“Want something to drink?” I asked. 

“After that shameless display? I might never drink again,” Zeke said.

I nodded, then looked at Katie and mouthed, ‘take care of him for a sec?’

She nodded. 

I scampered off, opening the windows, turning on all the fans, and retrieving a few joints. I led the new couple over to the couch and sat them down, Zeke in the middle and Katie to his left. I sat on his right, then lit the joint and passed it to him. 

Zeke inhaled deeply, breathed out, and coughed slightly. 

Katie, meanwhile, coughed up a storm. 

“First time?” I asked. 

Her jaw dropped. 

“Not like that,” I said in monotone. 

She nodded rapidly. 

“Figured. Zeke, talk to me. What’s going through your head, big guy?”

“Just… Wish I could say I was surprised by any of this,” Zeke said. “I don’t even know why I care- I barely talk to them anymore. I haven’t lived with them since I was eighteen. They drive me insane. They drive each other insane. I just… I dunno.”

“They shouldn’t talk to you like that,” Kate said, leaning forward, brow furrowed, hands gripping her knees tightly. “I just… It’s not okay. How can… How can any parent think that’s an okay way to talk to your kid!?”

“Katie, you’re shaking,” Zeke said. 

“I- I am? Huh? I just… Everything feels really… Intense right now… And I just…”

“You don’t have to get angry, you know,” I said. “I saw you back there, about to lose your temper. And I get it, but you don’t have to. You can be supportive in other ways.”

“How so?” she asked. 

“Zeke, put your arm around her,” I said. 

“Huh?” he said. 

“Zeke, put your arm around the pretty girl!” I said. “Trust me, it’ll be good for both of you right now.”

Zeke looked at me with immense confusion, then did as he was bid and put his arm around Katie. 

“Good. Feel better?” I asked. 

“Yeah, actually,” Kate said.

“A bit,” Zeke said. “I’m sorry you both had to see all that.”

“It’s okay,” I said. 

“I’m fine, really,” Kate said. “And this isn’t about me, it’s about you. How are you feeling?”

He took another hit, long and drawn out, then pawed at the puff of smoke he exhaled. “Well, the date went really well.”

“It did?” I said, forcing a smile onto my face. Be supportive, be supportive, be supportive. 

“I think so,” Kate said as she coughed out another puff. “We did run into some people from work though.”

“Oh?”

They relayed the encounter with Olivia and the others to me, at which point I buried my face in my hands. 

I felt Zeke’s hand on my back, and another hand, presumably Katie’s, patting my head. I opened my eyes and saw them both smiling at me, and a warm flush went through my body. “Olivia’s gonna keep being weird about this stuff, isn’t she?” I said. 

“You know her better than me,” Kate said. 

“Or me,” Zeke pointed out. 

“Blarg.”

At that point, Kate leaned over Zeke’s frame and grabbed my hands. I blushed- seriously, what was with this girl and unprompted physical contact?- but I didn’t protest. “Let’s all do something to get our minds off of things. Ruminating won’t help us, now will it?”

Zeke cracked a smile. “What did you have in mind?”

“We could play ‘never have I ever.’ Or ‘two truths and a lie.’”

“Going for the throwback, I see,” Zeke chuckled. “I haven’t played one of those since freshman year of college. I’m game, though.”

I hesitated. This could go badly. One of us- namely, myself- could say something we regret. Unfortunately, I’m really, really, really dumb, and when I’m stoned, that becomes amplified twenty-fold, so I simply nodded and said, “How about two truths and a lie?”

“Works for me!” Kate said, with that winning smile. 

“Cool,” Zeke said, clearly glad to have changed the mood of the night. 

“I’ll go first,” Kate said. “I’ve been wearing women’s underwear since I was twelve. I drink skim milk every day. I don’t like bananas.”

“Hmmmm?” Zeke said. 

“I mean, I sure hope you like bananas, if you’re gonna be dating a guy,” I laughed.

Kate blushed. 

Zeke looked at me reproachfully and said, “Faith…”

Then Kate started giggling. 

“Oh, you totally like bananas- that was the lie!” I said, pointing at her. 

“Well, I didn’t used to like them, but I’ve acquired the taste of late,” Kate smirked. 

Zeke’s face scrunched up as he tried to keep his laughter in a bottle. The attempt, while valiant, failed wholesale within the first ten seconds. “That’s good to know.”

“I mean if we’re gonna keep seeing each other, yeah,” Kate said, her eyebrows shooting up and down several times. She took a hit, owing to having lost the round.

“Dear God,” I muttered. 

“What?” they both said at once. 

I just laughed, and laughed. “Nothing. I’ll go next. My favorite anime is Legend of the Galactic Heroes. I have a half-brother from my dad’s first marriage who’s fifteen years older than me. I prefer waxing my legs to shaving them.”

“It’s the second one,” Zeke said. “I’ve known you since I was eighteen- there is literally no way you’ve had a half-brother this whole time and never mentioned him once.”

“Kate, what’s your guess?” I asked. 

“The second one as well,” Kate said. “You give off major ‘only child energy.’”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, my jaw dropping and my fists planting on hips in mock outrage. 

“You know what it means,” Kate said, waving her hand at me. 

“No, I don’t, because I really do have an older half-brother from my dad’s first marriage!” I laughed. 

“No freaking way,” Zeke said. 

“Yes freaking way!” I said, pulling out my phone and scrolling to a family photo. “His name is Darren Watanabe Junior, DJ for short. My dad knocked up a local gal when he was stationed in Nairobi. They were married for like, five years before they split up. He met my mom when he got transferred back to the states, and took a while for them to get together and have another kid.”

“How am I just now learning this?” Zeke said, taking the obligatory hit. “Your parents were at our graduation last year- where was DJ then?

“Torii Station, Okinawa,” I said. “He’s a Major in the Army. And like I said, he and I aren’t that close- he started attending West Point when I was three and shipped out to Afghanistan when I was seven. Think the last time I saw him was… Like, right before I started college.”

“Huh,” Zeke said. “The more you know.”

Kate coughed as she took another hit. “Indeed. What’s the lie then?”

“My favorite anime is actually Eureka Seven,” I said. “Your turn, Zeke.”

“Okay, okay, lemme think,” he said. “Uh… I was on the cross country team in high school. I speak fluent Romani. I’ve never been outside of California.”

“There’s no way you’ve never left California, even I’ve been outside California,” Kate said. 

“You do not speak fluent Romani,” I said.

He looked me dead in the eyes and said a few words in a language I didn’t recognize. 

I blinked. “Huh. Was that-”

“Romani. Vlax Romani specifically,” he said. “One of the only cool things my old man ever taught me.” He offered me the joint, then turned to Kate and poked her on the nose. “You, however, were correct. My dad also once took me on a business trip to Vegas.”

“Your dad is a mechanic,” I pointed out. 

“A business trip to Vegas?” Kate said, tilting her head.

“His business is being a cheating man-whore,” Zeke laughed bitterly. “Either way, Kate wins this one.”

“Guess she really is a good fit for you,” I winced. 

A pregnant pause sat atop us all for a few seconds. I shook my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid- why would you say that?! Oh, right, I’m stoned. That’s why. 

“My turn again,” Kate said, leaning against the side of the sofa and putting her bare feet on Zeke’s lap. Damn, Kate, that’s bold. “I’ve never been outside of America. I don’t have any family outside of my parents. I’m a virgin.”

I started coughing, and so did Zeke. Kate just giggled at the both of us, holding her hand over her mouth. God, she had a cute laugh. It was insane how cute she was… No wonder Zeke was into her, she was adorable. And with how hot her mom was, the hormones were liable to be VERY good to her. “There’s no way a cutie like you is a virgin,” I said. 

Zeke and Kate both stared at me for a moment.  

“W-w-w-well, Zeke, w-w-w-what’s your guess?” I finally managed to squeak out.

“I find it slightly hard to believe your parents are your only relatives, even if it would explain how close y’all are,” Zeke said. 

“Nope on both your guesses,” she chirped. “I went on a family vacation to Mexico once when I was very small. My parents are both only children and my grandparents are all dearly departed. And, uh, I’ve never gotten around to that last thing.”

“Well, we can work on that,” Zeke said suggestively. 

Kate gulped, wide-eyed and blushing. I smiled at them both. Good. If this happened, if they happened, I could move on. Good. This was good. Good good good. 

“Your turn, Faith,” Kate said. 

I took a hit, and did my best approximation of Kate’s cute girl giggle. Thoughts drifted out of the smoke around my brain, of Zeke, of Kate, of myself, of various permutations of the three of us. Sometimes all three of us. “My favorite drink is a Cosmopolitan. I’ve always wanted to go white-water rafting. I’m bisexual.”

A sense of relief, like Atlas’ burden was suddenly taken away from me, came all at once. I’d never actually said it out loud before, never let myself say the word in reference to myself. I’d never… Admitted it. Never actually admitted that I liked guys. Zeke, yes, but not guys in general. It was scary, as if I were afraid that people would look at me differently, as if I would be different, as if things between Zeke and I would change if he knew… 

But I’d wanted things to change. I’d just been too scared and too stupid to try to make it happen. 

“You don’t really seem like a white-water rafting girl,” Kate said. 

“She’s not,” Zeke said. “That one is the lie.”

I smiled. They hadn’t even blinked. Neither of them had. Thank God. “Guilty as charged,” I said as I took another hit. 

***

“Oh, yeah, I should probably give these back,” Kate said, reaching down her dress and pulling out the falsies. 

“Keep ‘em,” I said, shaking my head. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said. 

Zeke had passed out, and was lying across the couch while Kate and I sat on the floor painting each other’s toenails. The hours had worn on, and on, and on, and both of us were so damned stoned it was clear that Kate wasn’t gonna be driving any time soon. She texted her parents that she would be home in time for her shift tomorrow. The clock was getting close to striking twelve, but the princess wasn’t leaving anytime soon. I was painting her nails pink, because she seemed like that kinda girl, while she was doing mine red, because I was that kind of girl. 

“I just,” Kate said, “I feel like it’s gonna create expectations I can’t live up to, once my boobs actually start growing in.”

“Pffffttttt.”

“What?”

“I think you’ll be fine.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean your mom has got big bountiful bimbo bazongas, so you’ll probably have them as well.”

“What?!”

“Milf’s got them tig ol’ bitties-”

“Yeah, I heard you, I was just flabbergasted. Also, did you just refer to my mother as ‘milf.’”

“I calls it like I sees it. Just like I sees them honkin’ hooters-”

“You’re really determined to milk this joke, aren’t you?” Kate monotoned.

I cackled. “Was that on purpose?”

She smirked. “Might have been.”

“This conversation is udderly ridiculous,” Zeke said, his eyes still closed. 

“You’re awake?!” Kate and I both shouted. 

“Hard to sleep when you two are being so loud,” he laughed. 

I felt myself blush; I SAW Kate blush. Honestly, it was a relief, knowing it wasn’t just me. 

***

Morning came, and I woke up on the floor, snuggling something warm and soft, and smelling something greasy and delicious. I opened my eyes to find myself resting my head on Kate’s shoulder while we both leaned against the front of the couch, Lacus shoved between us as a shared neck-pillow. I slowly pulled myself away, making sure the plush seal was safely nestled in Kate’s arms, letting my eyes drift over to the kitchen. 

Zeke was hard at work, cooking bacon and hash browns together on the cast iron skillet, while a plate of fresh strawberries sat in the center of the breakfast table next to a bowl of vanilla yogurt mixed with granola. The coffee maker fizzled with percolation, and our entire supply of orange juice had been placed into a glass pitcher I didn’t even know we owned. 

“Dang, Underhill, pulling out all the stops,” I said as I wandered over to the kitchen and wafted the delicious smell of the breakfast food. 

“It’s not too much, is it?” he said. 

“Nah, I think you’ll be fine,” I said, leaning against the side of our stainless steel fridge. 

“I just… Really wanted last night to be perfect, you know?”

“I get it. It seemed pretty great from where I was sitting though.”

“Yeah, but between Olivia and my parents and everything… It didn’t go quite as hoped. Thank you for helping out though- really came in clutch.”

“No problem,” I said, looking at the floor. 

He looked at me, as if he were considering saying something. He opened his mouth. 

I put a hand on his chest and said, “I was wrong about Kate. She’s fantastic. And she’s fantastic for you. Just don’t hurt her, okay? Everything is still new to her.”

He closed his mouth, and he nodded solemnly. 

Part of me wished I’d let him say whatever it was he was about to say. I didn’t even know what it was, but it looked as if… No. No, I didn’t want to know. I’d had my window, let it hang open for a full year while I’d been too stubborn and too scared to go through it. Kate had seen the opening and jumped right on through because she was just braver than I was. She deserved him. I didn’t. And looking at her there, in that moment, the idea of doing anything to hurt her just seemed cruel beyond measure. 

These two would work out. I’d move on. That was how it had to be. 

“Breakfast is almost ready,” Zeke said. 

“I’ll wake up sleeping beauty, then,” I said. 

As I nudged Katie awake and led her groggy ass to the breakfast table, I took in the sight before me. I was happy if he was happy, and what was more… I was happy if she was happy too. If this was how it had to be… Then I could learn to live with it. 

[fangsandfeels]

I'm not done

2. Storytelling

Let's be honest: the entire "we want this game to be appealing to new players, so we ignored all the choices and decisions made in previous parts" is bullshit. I learned about Dragon Age 2 first - and since I liked rpgs and wanted to have the full context, I played Origins and Awakening first. Not only I enjoyed it, I got a better understanding of the world and created my set of choices to import in DA 2. So no, people, who are new to your games, will have enough time to research and play the previous games before they are able to buy and play the latest part in the series. You want them to buy more of your games and interact with your games - and if you tell them, they don't need other games, it's bad marketing. With Dragon Age Keep, you didn't even have to make people buy games - they could recreate their worldstates of choice.

Wiping it all out and presenting part 4 as some kind of a "clean slate" for new players is demeaning. First, it implies that new players are easily distractible toddlers who care about only shiny and colorful things, second it shows disrespect to the story that has been built - and that was supposed to reach its peak in the next game.

First of all, if this game was made with new players in mind, where is the exposition? No, Varric's entry doesn't count: it briefly recounts the story of Solas, but what is the Fade? How does the Veil work? Why the world will be destroyed if the Veil goes down? So many questions are unanswered - and the writers don't even use the opportunity to insert some extra information about the previous events during Varric, Neve, and Harding's banters in the tutorial mission.

Of course, I don't pretend to be a professional writer, I'm just a talentless hack, but here is how I'd have used the banters during the introductory mission:

---

Rook (if mage): All these demons. They're...manifesting. Not possessing bodies. It's as if the Fade itself is pouring into this world.

Varric: I'm afraid, this is exactly what's happening.

Harding: It's almost as bad as it was in Ferelden, when Solas tried to take down the Veil for the first time. Without the Inquisitor, all Southern Thedas would have been devoured by demons or destroyed by that ancient madman.

Varric: Solas did help us save Southern Thedas. Just so he could destroy it and the entire world the right way, of course, but let's give Chuckles credit where it's due.

---

Rook (if not mage): Wait...Don't demons need to possess bodies in order to cross over?

Varric: Not when someone kicks the door open for them.

Harding: This is what happened in Ferelden, when Solas tried to tear down the Veil for the first time. Without the Inquisitor, all Southern Thedas would have been devoured by demons or destroyed by that ancient madman.

Varric: Solas did help us save Southern Thedas. Just so he could destroy it and the entire world the right way, of course, but let's give Chuckles credit where it's due.

----

Rook: Varric, are there any other contacts in Minrathous? Maybe...

Varric: No, kid. Nobody else is coming.

Rook: Then we don't have manpower. We're not prepared.

Varric: I saw what Solas did to an small army of Qunari agents who tried to hunt him down. Strength in numbers won't do much good here.

Rook: But what are our chances?

Varric: Let's say, there as a slim chance we do what an entire army couldn't. Also, we have no time for doubt.

--

Varric (about the chaos on the streets): I imagined Minrathous to be more prepared for handling demon outbreaks.

Neve (bitterly): It's prepared where it counts for the Magisterium. Streets may drown in blood, but altus mansions and properties will be the last ones to sink. After all, magic talent is all that matters. Soporati, however, are expendable.

--

Rook (seeing the carnage caused by demons): This is what Solas wants the new world to look like?

Harding: This is how he wants to see this world go. Come on!

--

Rook (after teleporting to the Arlathan forest and seeing the ritual site): How come Tevinter never caught wind of any of this?

Neve: Rumors say several expeditions had been sent into the heart of the forest. None of them returned. Hadn't Senate been busy with Venatori and the Qunari invasion, they would have certainly tried to tear this place apart. Your friend chose the right moment.

Varric: We're far deeper in the forest than it seems, kid - and we only made it here because Chuckles doesn't seem to care about leaving tracks anymore.

--

Dialogues and banters are wonderful. They can recap events, provide some insight into the state of world and political situations, give you ideas about location and areas - but Veilguard refuses to utilize them this way. Nah, it's better make companions regurgitate information you already know until you vomit - or keep navigating you towards obvious puzzles because the game trust you to be adult enough to watch pixels get naked and fuck, but doesn't think you smart enough to find your way through the quest.

Next stop, Solas

I'm not even going to say anything about how Varric's and Solas' arguments boiled down to "Don't do it bro, people will die" - "Nah fam, I'm doing it" - "Bruh" because writers couldn't be bothered without Varric using actual arguments, such as:

Appealing to his choice to fight in the Inquisiton against Corypheus instead of taking his side and manipulating him until he got his hands on the orb ("When you had a choice to save this world or let it die, you chose to save it")

Questioning Solas' real determination by stating that if he truly wanted to proceed with his plan, he would have killed the Inquisitor when he had a chance. ("You're not an idiot, Chuckles. You knew she won't stop. You knew none of us will settle for waiting for death. So, what was the plan?")

Challenging Solas' selflessness by implying that his attempt to make a new world is an ego project. ("So you get to burn us and this world down, just to build a new one. With you as a god? Worshipped and adored? Never took you for that kind.")

Leveraging Solas' emotional connections (whether romantic or friendship-based). For instance, if the Inquisitor had high approval with Solas and chose to disband the Inquisition. ("She did what you said, Chuckles. Despite all that, she followed your advice. Because she has always respected you. I though you'd at least respect her enough to look her in the eyes as you erase her and everything she stood for").

Having Solas come up with a compelling counterpoint while showing emotional response would have been much more impactful for both new and long-time players.

It would have also made more sense for Solas to wound Rook (if their odd connection is explained by blood, then it's only logical, because Rook fucking dies hurts their head nowhere near the ritual site, with Solas far away from them. It makes sense for Solas to just break Bianca - because he knows how much she means to Varric, he knows it's enough to send the message. But Rook is a nobody - a poor fuck sent to die by his longtime friend/lover. So, he wouldn't have pulled his punches with them.

(also Varric already breaks his leg - it's enough to get him out of commission, you don't need to stab him in the chest for a good measure you psychos)

And, finally, it makes zero sense for Solas to throw a temper tantrum in the Fade, blaming Rook for two of the gods breaking out. There is no way Solas doesn't understand that he is the only one responsible here - only he knew about the countermeasures, Varric had no reasons to take his word for it, and all Rook knew that he was going to doom them all (which wasn't far from true).

So, no Solas has only himself to blame by letting himself get distracted. And the logical thing for him to do is to tell Rook that if they care about saving their world, now they have to work together to stop his kin. And if Rook remains suspicious and distrustful, believing it to be a trick, Solas calmly states "You will see everything for yourself soon and then you will call for my aid." - and of course, Rook ends up asking Solas for help because it's too much for them to handle.

And last (but far from the least) missed storytelling opportunity moment: The Lighthouse.

This is the first time in the entire series when game protagonists not just travels in the Fade, but lives in it. And it should be a huge deal: Fade is dangerous. It's an unstable, constantly changing place where you can meet both kind spirits and demons who want nothing more than to wear you like a skin suit, so they could explore the world of mortals in any way that fits their particular portfolio. In other words, it's the place beyond comprehension and if you find yourself there physically, you can die or go mad, or both.

For elves the Fade is a holy place, the Beyond where souls of their dead ones go.

Dwarves don't even know what the fuck Fade is because they're disconnected from it.

So, you'd assume each party member, including Rook, would have a lot of things to say about squatting in the Fade:

Harding would probably be nervous and slightly curious because she has never had even the slightest idea about what the Fade looks like and keep watch for demons or any suspicious anomalies.

Neve would keep clam, but deep inside, she'd be uncomfortable - as a mage, she is well educated on the Fade. As a Tevinter, she knows all versions about the tale of magisters who braved into the Fade to see the Golden City - and she isn't inclined to believe the version supported by her states propaganda. So, the irony of a Tevinter mage, finding herself physically in the Fade amidst an apocalyptic situation, isn't lost on her.

Varric would have probably said that "Now I see why Chuckles loved being in the Fade so much - there was a home for him."

But, I guess, can't make our players think too hard, they will hurt themselves.

Playing Veilguard and making it everyone's problem

I am going to rant, and I will rant a lot, and there will be spoilers, so if you're not afraid of them and the game criticism, buckle up.

Elves and their gods

I am absolutely fucking livid about how Veilguard handles the Dalish and elves in general. The events of Trespasser made it clear that the elves started flocking over to Solas, including the elves working for the Inquisition:

After the events at the Winter Palace, elves left the Inquisition under mysterious circumstances, as did elven servants across Thedas. None could say where they went, but those who believed the Inquisitor's story about Fen'Harel wondered just how large the Dread Wolf's forces were... and what the ancient elven rebel had planned.

Solas had multiple spies working for him during Trespasser, and If I remember correctly, there was even a note, left by one of the elves - they were anticipating the great change and the return of the elven glory. Anyways, the established fact is that: elves learned that the stories about their gods were true and one of them now was going to restore the world as it used to be. At least, this is how they interpreted it (maybe, this is the version Solas didn't debunk) and so they started following him.

You might think, the Inquisitor and their allies are going to have a huge problem with breaking it to elves that their chosen leader isn't going to make things better and that their gods don't love them. Especially, if the Inquisitor is a human or anyone who isn't an elf. You'd imagine any attempts will end in failure because of course elves aren't going to listen to outsiders trying to explain their own culture and gods to them. You'd imagine that their trauma caused by centuries of oppression and discrimination will make it impossible for the Inquisitor and anyone else to make them see the truth.

You'd assume anyone who tries to find and stop Solas will be sabotaged every step of the way, feeling themselves horrible for having to clash with people desperate for a chance of a life without injustice - even if it means burning the rest of the world down.

You'd imagine that they will only change their mind if/when they see the harm done by Solas' actions and get to witness their gods true intentions by themselves - which would lead to a massive crisis of faith and schisms happening between elven tribes and groups.

You'd imagine will get all this incredible drama in the Veilguard, with elves initially resisting the group's attempts to stop Solas, then trying to pull themselves together after the revelation. You'd assume there will be zealous groups doubting Solas (because the Dreadwolf is a liar and a deceiver) and intending to use him to actually free the elven gods. You'd think this is how actually some of them get out.

But, NOPE. Not only Solas ends up working alone, with none of his followers throwing themselves at Rook and the party to buy him time, but also all elves now hate Solas because...Varric said so?

You meet a group of Veil Jumpers (elves devoted to exploring their ancient culture and history, learning more about their gods and reclaiming their heritage) and their leader instantly calls Solas an asshole. Based on WHAT?

I get it, Varric had met them before and told them that Solas was Fen'Harel...

(needless to say if you expect players to find and read other media in order to make sense of the events in the game, you are doing something wrong)

...but why were they so fucking calm about it, instantly eating up the "yep, he's bad" version? Even if the Dread Wolf is vilified in the Dalish mythology, wouldn't they be curious about what that means? Wouldn't they have gotten tempted or excited by the implication that other gods exist too? They weren't told the full story - why the fuck did they instantly accept the "Solas is an asshole" narrative? Especially when Solas comes with a promise of a world for the elves like it was meant to be?

WHY?

The Veilguard has no response for that. I guess, Dalish never cared about their history and traditions, and city elves were dandy about Alienages and oppression, so they easily believed some randos over a literal god promising a new, better world.

I don't even play Dalish, but I love their plotline and arcs - and I was bracing myself for some downright painful choices and conflicts during the next Dragon Age. But it felt like the writers couldn't be bothered with developing such a nuanced narrative, so they just waved it all down with "Nah, elves are chill now and they never really cared about their gods in the first place".

[pessimisticshapewithablog]

Camellias in Cult of the Lamb

I noticed that after unlocking the Healing Bay, you recieve the tutorial prompt showing two flowers.

One red and one white. We learn that the red one is the camellia and can be found while crusading, but we never find the white flower in-game. It can be seen on some floral items but it is not a requirement for constructing those items. Was this flower removed in development before the games release or are there plans to implement it in future updates.

Upon close inspection, the white flowers looks alot like daisies to me. But it could also just be a white camellia, which look very similar to daisies at a glance.

Camellia (left) Daisy (right)

The art style doesn't really make it clear which of flowers they are. All the same each flower has different symbolic meanings across many cultures. The meanings could be tue reason Massive Monster chose the particular flowers out of all other flowers.

The colors red and white are featured primarily of TOWW, baal, and healer cultists. And I believe the latter two are derivatives of the first. I recently learned that Narinder may have always worn white, and possibly red, robes as seen on the statue the player recieves for killing instead indoctrinating him.

Camellias

Depending on the culture, Camellias can represent unyielding love, a honorable death, or adoration. The color of the flower can also determine the meaning. Camellias come in shades of red, pink, and white.

Red Camellias can represent deep romantic desire for someone, love, and devotion. This might explain why Narinder responds the way he does when completing his follower request.

White camellias can symbolizes purity and innocence but in Japan, and China, they are associated with death and mourning. They also can mean the same as red camellias but without the romantic connotation. Platonic.

Daisies

Daisies also symbolize purity in some cultures aswell as childbirth, motherhood, new beginnings, rebirth, and fertility.

White daisies, specifically, also represent purity and innocence.

In celtic culture, daisies were believed to be given by the gods to cheer up parents who have loss children.

I am now under the impression that white flowers typically represent "purity" and "innocence", how unoriginal...

ANALYSIS

In game, camellias grow in the Darkwood and seem to represent Leshy as they are a component of his crown trophy. Similar to how menticide mushrooms are found in Heket's domain, Anura. It's hard to say if camellias represented some aspect of Leshy since he only ever hostile to the Lamb.

The reason I think the white flowers are daisies is based on my theory that TOWW was dabbling in resurrection and giving life, rather than just being the god of death. This possibly being the reason he was imprisoned. Daisies representing rebirth and new beginnings. We don't know if TOWW had a specific resource found in his domain, like crystals from Anchordeep, or silk from Silk Cradle. Maybe it was this flower or nothing at all.

These flowers could also represent the overarching theme of cults, religious devotion and intense passion in COTL.

The definition of Fervour, the red mana points needed to cast curses, is an intense and passionate feeling. It appears to mean that the Lamb, and all other curse users, feel strong emotions when killing those that don't follow their ways. Or toward those that attack them, who knows. This could mean that curse in COTL are created/cast by having strong feeling of ill intent toward something. A negative emotion made manifest.

The definition of Devotion, the white currency the lamb recieves from the followers, is "love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person or activity." In game, devotion can be collected from any source by the lamb, even if they themselves are not the target of said devotion. Zealous weapons are able to to convert fervour into devotion, zeal meaning "great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective."

[whitelungg]

Ok, I finished the demo.

My main knock is that their new game mechanics are not explained well and I shouldn't be looking outside the game to figure them out, like the apathy/mania system. Apparently Daniil has misophonia, and he just constantly gets more apathetic from various stimuli the entire time and the only way to get that bar down is to take meds or kick a dumpster a bunch of times... I wish the tutorial was more clear on how this worked, but now I know going into P3.

Another knock I had was walking/stamina as it was really slow, which became super annoying during the area in which everyone wanted to attack you. I hope we don't need to do that too much in P3. It was interesting to see Cappella strung up from outside her house.

Again, I liked diagnosing the patients. I got 2/3 diagnoses correct.

I didn't mind the part with the decrees, but I would need to explore it more in P3.

I liked the relationship between Daniil and Eva. I didn't have Eva too much in my P2 game, so it was nice seeing her more here and get to know her better. I can see why Daniil likes to pick her brain at the end of the day and I look forward to seeing more of their interactions.

I feel like there should have been more to the Prototype. When I tried using it, nothing was really happening. That should have been explained more too.

The survey afterward mentioned an euthanasia mechanic and I was like ?????, but what I think they are talking about is that going through the restrict to get to Filat's house, there are a few people laying on the road and I remember I could interact with one and I gave him morphine, which eased his pain, but apparently it wasn't anything he was looking for. Perhaps there is a euthanasia pill or something for those who want it.

I was able to make a trade with a little girl and all items I had were available to trade with her, unlike P2. So yes, I traded her useless-to-me buttons for more apathy meds. I remember in P2 I didn't always have the correct items people wanted to trade or I did, but I needed them for other things, so it's nice not worrying about certain items, but just have some items.

I liked the manifestation of the plague

In the demo, it shows Daniil's thoughts on what happened each day of the plague and he pretty much had the worst playthrough lol. But apparently we will be jumping forward and back in time in hopes to fix his mistakes and save the town.

Pathologic 3: Quarantine

I actually finished playing Pathologic 2 for the first time a few weeks ago, so I was ready to jump into Quarantine, the demo for the next game, Pathologic 3. I watched the trailers for 3 and it seems like there will be several new gameplay mechanics. One of them being interviewing, examining, and diagnosing illnesses for patients, which seemed complicated without context, but they did include this feature in the demo and it wasn't too bad and I'm looking forward to doing more. I did enjoy the updated graphics, and the new music is good. I'm ok with not having an open world and survival aspects as is doesn't seem to fit the role as a doctor.

I will probably need to give the demo another go though. I think I got infected or something and no matter what I took, like morphine, I got a an animation of Dannil eating a bullet, and that looped a few times. Also when I was in Filat's house, it gave me a message that I haven't found all the clues yet. Fair. However, after scouring both rooms a few times over, I still didn't find anything new. So not sure what to do next. Sucks a little at the moment as I can't just look it up as no one has written a guide or anything yet. Perhaps there is something on youtube.

[kindestegg]

Deltarune Theory: Ralsei is a guide for the script

It feels crazy that Deltarune Chapter 2 has only been out for like, what, two weeks? As of the time I’m writing this, and yet, there has already been so much secret hunting and speculation over this. Not even the full game, and people already go crazy over it. Naturally, I am part of this craze. In fact I was one of the people that played it as soon as it dropped.

And, I thought it was only me, but, at least for a little while, Ralsei’s behavior struck me as… odd. Not outwardly malicious, but just… odd. Particularly the first bit of the game, it was just so… happy and convenient? And Ralsei was at the center of it all, orchestrating it, making sure everything happened accordingly.

Eventually, that initial feeling of distrust went away, but… not quite. And it seems a lot of people began to feel the same way, pointing out bits about Ralsei that are just… out of place. Things that didn’t seem to stand out in the first chapter, are now popping out about him.

Questions include:

How does he know about what’s outside the Dark World, about the school?

How does he know about the game mechanics and call them out by names?

Why is he so interested in keeping the balance between only Kris acting and him and Susie doing magic?

Why does he seem so eager to dismiss what happened with Spamton NEO?

Why doesn’t he turn into stone or even get weak at any point during the time he spends in Cyber World?

Are the parts of his name and design connecting to the Dreemurr’s intentional, and if so, what does that mean for his relation to Kris?

How and why does he take player control away to look at what Susie is doing? Why must he wait until Kris is willing to do it? What does he tell them when he succeeds in this?

Now, I don’t intend to pose here “a supreme theory to rule them all”, I’m just a guy having fun and I’ve seen people voice particularly similar ideas to this one I’ve had, so I want to at least try to answer these questions through a relatively simple idea that would, almost entirely, immediately answer ALMOST all the doubts.

First, let’s start with some steps to build up this idea. For one, we know for a fact that Ralsei holds knowledge over game mechanics and may even break the fourth wall at times.

But we also know that Ralsei’s design resembles a lot of characters from Undertale we know and were fond of. For one, he can be likened to Toriel in the sense that he is the one to give you the first tutorial of the game and his clothes resemble her original outfit as well. Another connection, much more common, that people have made is that he is like Asriel, no doubt due to his name being an anagram, but also due to the fact he is also a cute young goat.

I would like to do a complete turn around here though, and say I do not think any of this points to Ralsei being related to Kris in the familial sense, for more than one reason, but my main one being that I don’t think Toby would be as frankly disgusting as to imply such a thing when there is so so much teasing in the direction of Ralsei possibly having a crush on Kris. I mean… really, Toby?

You know, I’m not too sure this would be the smartest idea, Mr. Fox, but alright.

However, I do think all these hints in his design and name have a purpose. And it has to do with how us, the fandom, see these two characters. For one, they are very beloved characters, and Toriel is one that we associate with her tutorials and guidance, whereas Asriel is one that people have yearned to see more in action. They are back, in a sense, but not present in our adventures so far.

What I’m getting at is that Ralsei is specifically designed to be the darling of the fandom. He is made to be loved, to be trusted, to cause feelings in us that make us want to protect him and accept his advice. This, in a way, also affects the in-universe characters who see him, as Susie put it: “as a big portable teddy bear”, whose job is “giving hugs”.

And I don’t just mean this in a character design way, like “oh wow Toby was so smart to make a perfectly marketable boy!” No. I think Ralsei exists as a meta element, his form being a direct manifestation of what we want to see.

He looks like that because he wants us to see him and lower our guard and expect his guidance. Remember how his form was shadowy and vague throughout all of chapter 1 until the very end of it and how he poofs into nothing but a pile of clothes in both chapters so far, no matter what form he’s in? What if he’s a shapeshifter? What if Ralsei isn’t even his real name? That certainly would explain why he says he doesn’t know what being Ralsei-like is like.

Ralsei? Ralsei? Oh God he’s gone.

Now, do I think he’s lowering our guard in the sense of leaving us vulnerable for an attack? Not exactly. I think it's so we learn to accept him…

Accept that he is a GUIDE for the game’s script. His entire existence hinges on guiding the main characters, specially Kris, throughout the story, and making sure the whole story, all seven chapters, play out exactly as planned.

You see, Ralsei isn’t evil. His goal is pretty simple, actually: guide us, the player, throughout the game, making us feel as safe and happy and secure. In that sense, of course he pushes so hard towards the pacifist route. After all, that’s the one that’s closer to a completionist route, as the sparing + recruiting mechanic adds more characters to your town, and therefore more content. He wants you to see all this content and get the most enjoyment out of it. His code urges him to bring you the best experience possible.

This would also answer why he does that thing with taking our control away from Kris and to watch Susie’s shenanigans. Because it’s satisfying to us. Notice how stressed out and pushy he gets in the alternate route when Susie comes out of Noelle’s room without being able to let us see what happened. He knows he messed up, something went wrong. He was supposed to let us see, so that we wouldn’t be bored, because God forbid the players be bored.

Just imagine this going through his head.

He also seems to genuinely care about Kris and Susie, and with good reason, as he knows these are the protagonists, and he is supposed to care for their well being too and ensure they reach their goal. I do think, however, there is a good amount of being genuine in his care, as he has no reason to react so boldly sometimes to either of them, showing outrage or affection in pretty telling ways. He isn’t heartless despite carrying out this job.

However it is also worth noting, for all his care, he cannot do the one thing that Kris would desire the most: free them from our grasp. And that is his ultimate failure towards them, and may end up creating conflict later on in the game.

From, here, there are two possible pathways:

Ralsei does not know about the dilemma Kris is going through, and believes Kris is entirely oblivious and passive towards being in a video game. He may even end up being the final boss to fight, as he desperately tries to keep everything on rails while Kris very much does not care for any of that.

Ralsei is entirely aware of what’s going on with Kris, after all, everything in a game’s design is planned, even the cutscenes, therefore even Kris’ struggles. Ralsei knows of the fate that lies ahead, that Kris will eventually be free, how it all ends. But to get there… is still a road ahead.

I think Ralsei’s affection towards Kris will definitely be explored in the later chapters. Not just because of the teasing we’ve been getting, but, if Ralsei really is a guide of the game’s code and script, what would that mean for him to get so attached towards the character the player is controlling?

Ralsei will have to make a choice. He will either recognize Kris is suffering and cannot wait any longer, or be faced with possibly having to fight them himself. This is why those two pathways matter as well. If he doesn’t know, his choice will come later and it will be an unpleasant surprise for him to find out the game universe is breaking apart around him with the self awareness of certain characters. If he does know, however, his choice is NOW, and waiting for the inevitable will be torture.

Just how long until he breaks? Or will he keep the facade until the very last chapter?

Like I said, I don’t intend this theory to be the biggest, most revealing and coherent theory. But… It could add a very interesting layer to Ralsei’s character, as well as answer many questions posed beforehand. He knows the school layout and game controls because he is part of the code. He can get to the other Dark World’s easily and remain unharmed because the game demands him to be. He looks like this so that we love him. He wants to give us the most fulfilling Castle Town so that we will love the game. He doesn’t protest even when Kris does things like try to give him the thorn ring, because to him, everything will be okay anyway. Everything he is, is for us. He isn’t evil or malicious per se, he just opposes Kris’ biggest need.

But he may have gotten himself attached. And that may be a clue to sparing him if he does become a final boss.

But! Tell me what you thought of this theory! Do you think it’s way too weird and farfetched, or do you think it’s possible that it could happen? Or maybe you agree with some stuff but not with other stuff? Go ahead and tell me!

[yknowamogus]

Penis X Pebis

its 3:55 in the morning, pebis is ready for his date with his boyfriend: Penis

pebis: YIPPEE IM MEETING WITH PENIS!!!

Theres an issue though Pebis is late because the date is due thursday and today is friday meaning Pebis needs to pray and manifest thursday

It's known that pebis is always late for his date, Especially for this date which is his first

Pebis cries knowing he might not make it in time because praying and manifesting will take a decade to finish.. but wait he has an idea

Pebis: peepus is a train driver! He can drive me to London less than 25 minutes

He msgs peepus for a ride and good for him, He did, Now, Thats happened, Peepus had a little crush on Pebis. Peepus proposed Pebis on the train leaving Pebis in shock

Pebis: H-h-Huh?

Peepus: quiero ser esposo

Pebis: Peepus.. I have a boyfriend.. We have a date :(

Peepus: que..? D;

Peepus cries

Peepus runs

Peepus jumps

Pebis: PEEPUS NOOO-

Peepus has died. Luckily Pebis knows how to perform Cpr with a 3 minute video tutorial and used CPR by Cupcakke for a perfect rhythm

Peepus: dudjd rkfkfnn rjfjfi

Pebis: Omg Hes waking up

Peepus: ¿dónde diablos estoy?

Pebis: In your train :)

Peepus: ¿qué? pensé que me odiabas

Pebis: Uh yeah i like adidas, Anyway i saved you and im sorry how i acted, but i still wont accept ur proposal. I hope you understand :(

Peepus: :(

Peepus was devastated and ran away once again because how embarrassed he was. Meanwhile Pebis watched an hour video to drive peepus train to arrive at london

"choo choo"

The sound of the horny train.. Wait what?

turns out its February 21, THE DAY OF TRAIN MATING!!

The train made noise to attract other trains and went out of control

"Choo choo motherfuckers"

instantly attracted all the attractive trains, which may be good for the trains its absolutely not for Pebis and may delay his date drastically. but wait he actually has an idea

*screwdriver noises* *hammer noise* *robot noise*

Woah Pebis made robotic wings thats nice. He uses the robotic wings to fly over london. .

"nyoooom"

Pebis made it to London in time!! He arrived at arbys where penis is

Pebis: Penis im here

Pebis: Penis?

Pebis found penis dead on the ground

Pebis is distraught

Pebis is sad

Pebis cries

Pebis runs

It's over.. The date is ruined and Penis is dead. Pebis has an idea! Instead of crying he went to peenus home and apologized for everything

Pebis: Look. Im sorry for rejecting you and i was wrong

Peenus: ¿Que?

Pebis: I came back from london t-to

pebis stutters as he nervously tries to say something

Pebis: t-to marry.......

Peenus: ...?

Pebis: Peenus.. Remember the proposal from earlier..?

Peenus: Si

Pebis: Well.. I want you to do it again

Peenus: :0 💍

Pebis: :D 💍

Pebis and peenus is happily married and plans to go on mount everest for a honeymoon! Such lovely couples :]

thanks for reading !!

[tmnt-mags]

Michelangelo x Fem!Reader

Soulmates

Mikey has always been one of my favorites and I feel like he always gets the least amount of love from the fandom. The turtles and reader are 18+ cause that's what I do.

Warnings: brief mention of abuse.

Mikey had been in love with the idea of a soulmate since he could remember. A person made by the universe that will love you the best. For a turtle mutant that lived in the sewers it was the ultimate fantasy. However, Master Splinter had told them it was very unlikely that they would have any. They weren't human after all. Still Mikey held on to hope and dreamed for the day that he might meet his one and only. He was straight as far as he could tell so he went out of his way to watch any video he could find about ladies. He would be the perfect boyfriend. He learned about periods and makeup and watched hair tutorials. He even found a wig and after cleaning it up the best he could he would practice braiding on it. Mikey had also watched videos about the female body, more than just porn, he watched women talk about sex and listened as they complained about human dudes. He couldn't exactly practice, but he would try to prepare best as he could. He would make up for being a mutant by knowing more and being better than any human man.

He was doing a cool down after a pretty intense training session with Leo.

“You did good Mikey, but you can't celebrate after every hit. You lose concentration and will get hurt.” Leo said stretching off to the side.

“Yeah bro you got a pretty good hit on me at the end.” he opened his mouth to stretch his now sore jaw. “Hey leo we’ll be 20 soon right?

“Mikey not this again.” Leo stopped and walked over to his younger brother. “We’ve talked about this, there is almost no chance of any of us having a soulmate.”

“You don’t know that Leo. Donnie doesn’t even know! I don't wanna give up hope.” It was the same argument that they had been having for years and years. His brothers had all seemed to give up on the idea, but Mikey wouldn't.

Mikey counted down the days until their birthday. After meeting April they finally found out their real birthdays from her father's notes. They all hatched on the same day, but at different times. Donnie actually turned out to be the oldest than Raph, Leo, and finally Mikey. He had been hoping that he would turn out to be the oldest but it was meant to be he guessed.

Mikey shot up and looked down at his arm excitedly, but didn't see anything. He wasn't worried though, the day was still young! He grabbed a black sharpie and wrote a simple ‘Hi angel’ on his forearm. He checked it throughout the day but still nothing. His brothers didn't even bother writing anything.

Everyday he would write a message or draw a picture hoping that his soulmate would see it. After 2 months he started to get sad. His dad was the first to take notice, and suggested that Mikey meditate. After an hour with no luck in concentrating, Mikey was about to stop when Splinter sat across from him.

“My soulmate hasn't written me back.” He said, “Maybe you guys have been right all along.”

“I would not worry yet my son. It is possible that your soulmate is younger than you, should you have one.” Splinter reached over to pat Mikey’s knee, “I have always been hopeful that you boys would have one, but I do not want you to be disappointed.”

“Don’t worry about me pops! You know me nothing gets me down!” Mikey cheered and jumped up. He ran out of the dojo throwing a thank you over his shoulder.

Splinter did know his youngest. He was happy and enjoyed having fun, but he was also sensitive. He always had been, and out of all of his sons he worried the most about Mikey and what it would do to him if he didn't have a soulmate. He sighed and decided it would be best to meditate as well. It had always been very helpful to him.

But months passed and soon a year did too and he never heard from his soulmate. Some days it was harder to write his morning message, but he still tried. He didn't want his soulmate to wake up on her 20th birthday with no message. As far as he knew his brothers never even tried to write theirs. Mikey knew they were just afraid of the possibility that they really didn't have one. He was too. He really wanted a soulmate.

It had been a busy 2 weeks. They met a girl, who also happened to be the first human they met, they totally kicked Foot Clan ass, uncovered a super villain plot and saved the city. They truly were heroes now and that was really fucking cool. They had made a new friend in a woman named April. She was pretty and nice and didn't seem to mind the fact that they were giant turtles, after the initial shock of course. He didn't even realize he hadn't written anything on his arm during all of this. He sat in bed and stared down at himself. He didn't write anything for 2 weeks and nothing had changed.There was a painful uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he looked at his arm trying to manifest words there somehow. Nothing had changed. The world didn't end because he didn't write anything. He sighed and laid down; he looked over at the black marker he kept by his bed. He started to reach out for it but instead rolled over and tried to go to sleep.

It had been 3 months now since he had written something on his arm. He tried not to think about it, sometimes he felt a tickle there but whenever he checked there was nothing. His mind was just playing with him. The brothers were on patrol tonight and Mikey was trying not to get distracted but it was one of those days he couldn't help but think about his soulmate. Leo and Raph had already got on to him about it tonight. He realized he should have tried harder when his jump to the next roof fell short and he went crashing down to the fire escape below.

“Mikey!” His brother yelled and came rushing down to see if he was alright.

“Im good dudes,” he grunted and he started to get up. “That hurt though.”

“Are you okay?” The boys jumped and turned and sitting on the steps a couple feet from them was a girl. “Ummmm, hi.”

“Hey” was all the boys could say. She nodded and looked at them, and there were a couple of moments where they all just stared at each other.

“So, i'm gonna take a wild guess here and say this isn't normal for New York?” she said and then pursed her lips.

“No it's not.” Raph grunted at her.

“Did you think that it was?” Donnie questioned. She shrugged at them.

“I'm not from here and it seems like wild things always happen in New York.” The girl defended. Mikey stared at her. She was pretty and was wearing shorts and a large t-shirt that was covered in dried paint. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she had bangs that covered her forehead. She was holding a cup in both hands and looking at them. She didn't seem frightened at all.

“Should I be freaking out?” the pretty girl asked.

“No! You don't need to be afraid of us.” Mikey suddenly forgot about any pain or soreness from his fall and stood up the rest of the way and moved in front of his brothers. “I’m Michelangelo, but everyone calls me Mikey.”

“I heard your name.” She giggled at him but then looked him in the eyes. “You are okay right? That seemed like quite the fall.” the turtle smiled widely and did a spin in the tight space.

“Right as rain baby.”

“Oh so you suddenly don't hurt?” Leo said, crossing his arms.

“The voice of an angel healed me I guess.” Mikey said and gave the girl a wink who raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sure it did, lover boy.” Raph said and then smacked the back of Mikey's head who yelped out.

“Not cool bro.” he groaned. “Whats your name angelcakes?” the girl let out a gasp.

“How did you know my name?” she said with surprise. The boys blinked at her dumbly.

“Seriously?” Donnie asked.

“No, my name is (y/n).” She laughed. “What are your names?”

“Oh these are my brothers Donnie, Leo, and Raph!” He motioned at each one and she gave a small wave as he did.

“You’re really not scared?” Donnie asked her quietly.

“A little shocked but not scared.” (Y/n) said happily.

The boys sat and talked to her for a little bit but Leo reminded them that they had a job to do. So with an invitation for them to come back and hang out again they boys parted with their newest friend to continue patrol. When they got back to the lair Mikey felt like he was on cloud nine. She was pretty, nice, and had a great smile. Mikey sat and smiled thinking about (y/n) when his eyes caught sight of a little black marker. He frowned. He wanted to find his soulmate, he really did, but now he didn't want to write anything cause what if it wasn't her. He really wanted it to be her.

“I think I’m in love~” he sighed.

“Sure you are Mike.” Leo grunted. “Go to sleep, it was a long night.”

Mikey sighed and rolled onto his side. He looked at the marker and felt guilty for some reason. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Life was good the boys went over to (y/n)’s apartment about once a week and April would come down to the lair to visit them about the same amount. A couple of months after they met they introduced the girls and they got along really well. Mikey sat April down and told her that he was sorry but his heart now belonged to (y/n). She smiled at him and patted his shoulder and told him that she forgave him and even though it would be hard she would heal. His brothers laughed but he ignored it.

April was working and the boys were at (y/n)’s place. They had eaten pizza and were talking about whatever came to mind.

“Do you guys have soulmates?” (Y/n) asked rather suddenly.

“Well we actually don't know, but we think it's very unlikely that we will.” Donnie replied.

“Oh. I hope you do.” she said. Mikey felt nervous as he asked his question.

“Do you have one?” she looked over at him.

“Not yet, but I hope I do. I’ve written on my arm every day since I turned 20 6 months ago.” she said, pulling her legs up to sit criss cross on the couch.

“We missed your birthday?” Leo asked.

“It was like a month before we met.” she shrugged.

“I can't believe I missed my true-love's birthday!” Mikey exclaimed and threw his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into him.

“You're squishing me!” She pushed away from the orange clad turtle laughing. “Do you guys want soulmates?” the boys quieted, and fidgeted awkwardly.

“I mean yeah but what's the point? Looks at us! We’re freaks.” Raph called out before crossing his arms.

“But soulmates are made for you! The universe wouldn't have given us someone who is scared of us!” Mikey defended. It was a conversation that had been had many times.

“Actually I'm not sure about that.” (y/n) said. Four pairs of eyes turned towards her.

“What do you mean?” Donnie asked.

“Well my parents were soulmates and my dad used to beat my mom senseless until he was arrested and they divorced when I was 8. They were soulmates but he used to hurt her so much.” (y/n) looked down at her hands. “It took her awhile to realize that just because the universe made you soulmates didn’t mean you were meant to be.”

“What happened after that?” Leo almost whispered the question.

“Well she met my step dad who is a great guy. His soulmate isnt the romantic type so they just ended up being close friends, and then he met my mom. They fell in love and he became my step-dad. You don't need to be soulmates to love each other, sometimes soulmates are just platonic, and sometimes soulmates aren’t good for eachother.”

“I’m sorry.” Mikey said softly.

“Don't be! Everyone is happy now. I mean, I don't know about my dad. He's never tried to reach back out. I kinda don't want him to anway.” (y/n) looked back up at the turtles.

“So you must hate the idea of soulmates.” Raph suggested.

“When did I say that? I want a soulmate, I really do. I want that fairy tale happily ever after people always talk about.” She sighed and smiled. “That's why I write my soulmate everyday. I had wished that they would be older than me but I guess they are a bit younger. I just hope that when I'm 42 I don't suddenly get writing from my soulmate who just turned 20.” She laughed.

“That can happen?” she looked over at Donnie and nodded.

“You guys don't know that?” the boys, except for Mikey, nodded.

“We never thought we would have them, so beyond movies I don't think any of us really looked. Didn’t want false hope.” Leo looked at her.

“Well I did cause I’ve always wanted a soulmate!” Mikey interjected.

“Mikey used to write on his arm every single day but hasn't in months.” Raph told her.

“Hey how do you know that?” Mikey looked at him.

“You think we didn't notice? We just never brought it up cause we know how you are.” Leo mumbled. The youngest turtle pouted at this.

“Why did you stop?” (y/n) asked. Mikey sighed and leaned his head back.

“It just kinda felt pointless. I would write something every day and nothing ever happened and then I realized one day that I hadn’t written anything for 2 weeks and still nothing changed. It just kinda felt pointless lately.” Mikey told everyone. There were flashes of sadness or pity from his brothers. They always knew the day would come when Mikey realized that none of them had soulmates. They knew it would come, but they didn't want it too.

“Well thats dumb.” (y/n) said rather bluntly. “What if today is her birthday and she's waiting to see if her soulmate will write anything. There were girls in my highschool that swore that they wouldn't write first and that their soulmate had to be the one to write first.” She said, leaning into Mikey.

“Well I think thats kinda dumb.” Mikey pouted at her. She rolled her eyes and leaned forward grabbing a cup of markers.

“Here write something!” she said, giving him the cup. He grabbed a black marker and opened it.

“Fine. Anything for you angelcakes.” he blew a kiss at her and looked at his arm. He felt a weird tightness when he brought the marker to his skin. He decided to write a simple ‘Hi I’m Mikey. What's your name.’

(Y/n) shivered as he started to write and felt a tickle on her arm. She gasped and pulled up her sleeve. The brothers' eyes widened as they watched Mikey’s hand writing appear on her arm next to the old writing that she had done. Mikey did not notice.

“Mikey! Look!” The oldest turtle said pointing at (y/n). Mikey looked up at Donnie and then at (y/n)’s arm.

“Oh haha very funny. That's not really nice.” He rolled his eyes.

“What Mikey? It's not a joke!” She put her arm right next to his and told him to keep writing. He drew a squiggle and watched as it seemed to magically appear on his friend's arm.

“What? Dude! Thats awesome!” Mikey cried out. This was the best thing in the world! His angelcakes was his soulmate!

“Why haven't you written me back?” She asked slightly outraged. Mikey stopped and stared at her.

“Cause I haven’t gotten any writing.” Mikey said, remembering how she said she wrote to her soulmate everyday. The room fell quiet and Mikey felt the beginnings of a horrible pain in his heart.

“So I’m yours, but you're not…” She trailed off feeling a sudden wave of emotion and felt tears in her eyes.

“Um sorry to interrupt, but I don't think there's any reason to get upset.” Donnie started. He grabbed the marker that matched the writing she already had on her arm. “Try writing something (y/n).” She nodded quietly as a few tears fell. She opened the cap and wrote hello. Mikey felt a tickle and shivered at the phantom writing on his arm, but he looked down and there was nothing there.

“Nothing” Mikey whispered. He felt like the world was crashing down. A moment so happy followed by something so heartbreaking. Raph and Leo looked down and away. Their faces filled with sorrow for their brother, and for the hope they had just felt for themselves.

“Now hold on just a moment.” Donnie rolled his eyes. “(Y/n) why do you write in that color?”

“It's my favorite.” she sniffled.

“Do you always write in green?” He pressed.

“Yeah, like I said it's my favorite and I want my soulmate to know that. I feel like it makes it a little more personal.” (y/n) continued. Donnie leaned forward and grabbed her marker. Everyone watched as he took the marker and held it up to mikey.

“Everyone look.” They all looked and Mikey’s eyes widened.

“It's the same color as me.” he mumbled.

“(Y/n) please try again with black.” She quickly snatched up the black marker and wrote ‘I hope this is Mikey.’

“Donnie you're a genius!” Mikey tackled his brother and then quickly went back to the couch thrusting his arm at (y/n). “Do it again!”

She quickly drew a heart while staring at his arm and watched as the black lines began to appear on Mikey as she drew them. She practically threw herself at mikey wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his face.

“Woah. I think that we should probably leave.” Leo suggested as his two other brothers got up and followed him to the window.

“Thank you Donnie!” (y/n) shouted out. Donnie gave a thumbs up and went out the window and closed it behind him.

“I can’t believe we’ve known each other for 5 months without finding out!” Mikey said nuzzling her face and wiping whatever tears were still there.

“I can't believe I never thought to write in black!” She laughed and kissed his cheek.

“Wait!” He leaned back. “The turtle thing doesn't bother you? Really? Truly?”

“Of course not! I’ve had a big crush on you for like 2 months now! This is the best news ever!” his soulmate cheered. “Also I just kissed you like 10 times.”

Mikey laughed and held her close, kissing her cheek. He had a soulmate! His soulmate was a beautiful, funny, nice girl who liked him!

“I knew there was a reason I’ve always loved green.” She said with a smile and leaned in to kiss mikey’s lips. It was a nice sweet kiss and just what he always thought a first kiss should be, yet so much better. He sighed and relaxed against the couch with (y/n) in his arms.

He had a soulmate and things couldn't be better.