#i need her to understand what her calling me selfish and lazy for years has done to me

[earmo-imni]

So anyway, fuck my mom

[fryandleelasbigfling]

there's an argument that i see recurring in the futurama fandom -- i think it's a minority opinion but i've seen it across multiple platforms, from multiple people, and it very much annoys me so i'm making my lengthy counterargument. this will be ranty and i apologize.

the idea that fry and leela are toxic because "leela wanted him to change for her" is such a weird and even reductive way to not just view the ship, but relationships in general.

(this is a long post, because i have a lot of Feelings on the topic, so i'll put a readmore.)

first off leela has always liked fry. maybe not romantically (there's signs that she had a crush on him early on, but it didn't get serious til way down the line), but she related to him, took pity on him, and quit her job for him (which! was! illegal!) because he gave her the courage to do so. in the second episode, he also helps her see the beauty on the moon, something she used to take for granted. she has always seen potential in fry to inspire her and open her eye to new possibilities.

but she still has a lot of hang-ups about fry, leading into the "she needed him to change" thing. here's the thing about fry and leela: leela does not force fry to change, she inspires fry to change, because she believes he can change. bender and leela are the first ones to meet fry and understand his situation, his loneliness, the feeling you don't belong anywhere. the difference is that while bender often indulges fry's more immature and selfish traits, leela is more willing to protect fry's safety and call him out on his stupidity. for some reason (probably projection), people think this is abusive. yes, leela can be hard on him (so can the entire crew, but for some reason, people only get mad when it's the female lead being mean), but it's because she's his captain and his friend and his recklessness often puts himself and others in danger. "my three suns" and "brannigan begin again" both showcase how dangerous it can be if fry (and bender) don't have leela to reel them in.

and i think fry is aware of this, and feels bad about it, so as the series progresses, he tries more often to take command and help her out when he can (i.e. learning to fly the ship). there's also "parasites lost" where he decides he only wants to earn leela's affection if it comes entirely from him, and i've seen the argument that this proves leela only likes him if he changes, but a lot of what fry said were his true feelings, so it's really setting up that leela could be attracted to fry if fry could understand his own feelings well enough to articulate them with confidence (and not bring up his exes in the meantime, lmao). even in the most recent episode, he cleans up his apartment for leela's sake.

people sometimes compare leela to michelle. they're both forceful but lonely women who often take authority over fry. but the difference is that michelle doesn't really see value in fry beyond manipulating him to make herself feel better by comparison. i'd also like to bring up morgan, who explicitly romanticized fry being a lazy slob... and fry never really looks that happy about it! he goes along with it because he goes along with pretty much anything (he explicitly says he dated her because he was desperate), but a relationship where his worst habits are indulged isn't what he wants or needs. fry has spent his whole life being told he's worthless, and he's kind of accepted that, but leela sees his good heart and charm and she does want that for herself, but she's also honest about what stands in the way.

and here's a bit of a personal note: i know many people who relate to fry are neurodivergent. i am too! and it can hurt being seen as "immature" or feeling like you have to conform to neurotypical standards to be accepted. but you know what else sucks? wanting to be better, but not knowing how to be better, and not having any motivation to be better. leela was that motivation. i struggled for years believing i didn't need to be better because my mental health issues were so intrinsic to my identity, and accepting that i can be Myself but still be Healthy was very useful. i find a lot of the fry-leela plot very empowering, as i like to believe there's someone who will like my quirks but also push me in the right direction. leela thinks fry is silly and stupid, and she often strongly disagrees with his tastes, but she is endeared by his unique approach to love because of how genuine he is about it all (see: her love for his office supplies dinner in "fry and leela's big fling," and even the bit with the wine glasses in bender's big score).

fry knows leela is also lonely and miserable, but that she appreciates his company, to the point he believes "she'll never be happy without me" (a mindset he outgrows as it makes him unhealthily jealous and clingy). the entire point of bender's big score is that, as messed up as lars is, leela is attracted to a version of fry who better understands how to talk to her, and this experience helps her appreciate fry a lot more going forward as she truly sees he has the potential to be a good boyfriend. she just needed to see it detached from fry himself. and fry learns to let leela be happy even before he knows about lars' identity! he is capable of growth on his own because he hates seeing her upset!

as for why leela takes forever to commit to him... well, with his impulsivity issues, unintentional rudeness, questionable hygiene, and internalized sexism, he takes a while to be the kind of person she's willing to date. and she's not entitled to him! yes, it is annoying how flippant she can be (though that's also an issue with the writers not wanting to commit), and she absolutely sucks at communication. but if we can take fry's background into consideration here, we also need to take leela's into consideration. she grew up alone, bullied, neglected, repeatedly told she was unloved, and multiple times she trusted someone who said they loved her, only to be discarded once they got what they wanted from her (i.e. sex and labor). she is also terrified of being judged and thus puts a lot of weight on being successful and normal, with her relationships being an extension of that. "the cyber house rules" is all about how she wants to be with a man who makes her look good. this is a character flaw she overcomes as all these men of high status treat her like dirt and she realizes fry is the one who cares about her the most, and she doesn't have to compromise just to be taken seriously.

but fry is her best friend, the only one who really gets her (besides her parents), and she has a lot to lose if she dates him and it goes poorly, and she's too insecure to trust that she's worth it. which is why it's great that fry becomes a better person for her! she deserves to be treated with respect! and episodes like "fun on a bun" show that not only does fry change for her, he also helps her loosen up in turn, and let herself act more carefree and childish after having to grow up and conform to society so fast. "the impossible stream" also shows leela making an effort to be less judgmental, even if she worries fry could be in danger. so it is definitely not just fry who changes for this relationship.

generally i think people who hate leela and make her out to be so emotionally abusive are projecting something personal that isn't there and missing the scope of fry and leela's complex relationship, and it feels unfair. especially when other (male) characters who do the same things and worse (particularly bender) get a pass. she's far from perfect, and that makes her a great character, but she grows and learns, and so does fry -- because they want to learn and grow for each other's sake.

[allycat75]

Hey Boston Dumb Fuck 👋! I've been seeing scenes from your lazy-as-fuck exercise in futility, Ghosted, lately and it has triggered a few things.

(A bit of a long one, so buckle up)

I don't know, maybe because the scenes I have seen of Jack in Red One remind me of Cole's cranky twin, or hearing your Nepo director go on about how impressed he is with himself reinventing Santa and how he's going to blow our minds with his genius, but it seems of late rich, mostly white men are just really turned on by their own mediocrity. Just walking around with blue balls because of it and the lack of oxygen to their brains is making them hypoxic. Even sweet Ryan Reynolds got high off his own supply when promoting the recent Deadpool. It was OK, but he and Hugh were making it out like this was the Citizen Cane of R rated Marvel movies (I still think they were throwing you a pity bone by casting you, BDF, and all I see when I look at your part is not Johnny Storm, but the worst version of Christopher Robert Evans, just slightly more horrible than you have been in real life the past few years, if you can call what you are doing living really. Was it a cry for help?).

I can't blame you for Red One. You are just a shitty actor looking for that sweet, sweet paycheck while The Rock and his minions run the show, so let your team set your program to "total bullshit bro douche" in a few weeks so you can get through the press junket without weeping at the fact you murdered Christmas, along with your fanbase that would have blindly seen this festering turd of a movie if you hadn't gaslit them all, making them look and feel stupid and crazy.

But I do blame you, from pillar to post, for Ghosted. You may think that Producer credit was for vanity and a bump in pay, but when push comes to shove, it actually means something. Just ask another Hollywood phony (and someone who was actually invited to the SNL X-mas party last year) Alec Baldwin. On Rust, he may not have been held responsible as the actor who shot the cinematographer dead, but as the producer he sure had the responsibility and accountability for all the things that went wrong, leading up to that preventable tragedy. And I know for you coddled princes, this idea of accountability is a new and scary concept, but woman up and get used to it, you fucking coward.

So, as producer of Ghosted, you should understand that you buy the premise, you buy the bit. How does the movie start- we see a beautiful woman named Sadie (in an ugly ass wig, by the way) at a farmer's market after just discussing with her boss that she is lost after a friend's death. The friend, a workaholic like her, didn't even have food in her house, but had a plant, which is more than Sadie has. Looking pensive and sad, but with a full basket of food she finds he way to the plants only to be confronted by a dickhead who treats her like shit at the worst possible time and tells her she should get a cactus because they are prickly and don't need much attention or care.

So I will stop there, because after this there is something only a male writer, producer and director would think they just saw- those two want to FUCK! Where most women (and to their credit, probably some men) would say, "Boy, if he would just apologize for being a complete and total asshole and make a kind gesture, because anyone with eyes could see she looked really sad, he could make her day better." And that is where it falls apart. Not that it would have really been any better because Cole is selfish in thinking he is everything she needs and doesn't consider maybe she has shit going on in her life that doesn't involve him, but it could have started on a better path if instead of running after her and saying, "Hey, I think we made a connection" (to which most women would have gotten out the pepper spray), he said "Hey, I want to apologize. I was out of line. It is none of my business what type of plant you should get and I should have been more respectful. Can I buy you a coffee to make up for it?". But heaven forbid a man ever apologize and make amends, especially for something they know they did wrong (none of that bullshit you said in the SMA article that came off like just apologize because she is upset and it will shut her up).

Even better would have been to get a few females looking at this script (maybe Scarlet did and that is why she jumped) and even totally flip the script to make it from Sadie's point of view. It would have been much more interesting watching a female special agent who had to target a friend and one of the few female colleagues she had, exploring the aftermath and getting back to her first mission since it happened. And to add insult to injury, also having to deal with this egomaniac one night stand, who hopelessly followed her, convincing him it isn't all about him and that he has no idea what it is like to be her. He has no right to judge. It could even still be funny (or start to be funny, because with the exception of Sebastian Stan, this movie had no Rom and no Com), but there is so much depth that could have been explored that was sacrificed for the male gaze. Instead of being empowering, because Cole was supposed to be the "damsel in distress", Sadie still remained the object that helped moved the story along for the boring, one-dimensional male protagonist.

One could say, "who the fuck cares- this movie (and its leading actor, after a string of current and future failures, both professionally and personally) are completely inconsequential", and I would agree, save for the fact that this is just one example of a larger problem we have seen over and over of men failing upward (I also include almost anything by Coppola and Scorsese- just look at Megalopolis for the former, and the latter only wrote his first decent female character last year). Unless there are consequenses for these kinds of epic failures Hollywood will continue to churn out more and more empty calories, drowning out real voices of all shapes, sizes, genders and colors. We need to call out these flaws instead of excusing them away so we can fix them for a more satisfying, authentic experience for everyone.

Side note...

Also, the last thing I remember about Ghosted was how you got shafted at the premiere and we're forced to give your little stevia (fake sugar) baby a spin on the red carpet, but no one was happy with you in the end- Ana and Dexter looked like they wanted to kill you, and your precious Nazi Succubus sure got her revenge for being shuffled back stage and out the door after only a few pictures without you. Remember, they forced you to fake marry the arrogant, racist, antimemtic, fatshaming, lazy, childish dumb dumb (everything opposite of what you said you wanted, even as recent as that stupid SMA article, but you are now an established pathological liar, so who knows what is true about you anymore).

You even had two kinda fake ceremonies- so, remind me again who you are trying to make seem insane in this narrative? Because it looks less and less like your former fans and more like you and your team with those pathological lies and ridiculous stunts. Even got your nuts so tight in a vice, they humiliatingly got you to make up for that red carpet debacle and sealed your fate as Hollywood's latest pathetic joke, spending 20 minutes on the Oscar (Conde Naste) Vanity Fair red carpet, where no one wanted to talk to you and you couldn't easily wipe your mouth when you had to kiss the little tantrum throwing wifey on the mouth for the cameras, like a good little CAA automoton. And I still don't know if I can forgive you for being so fucking careless and dissociated from your own life and moral fiber that you wore the colors of the Nazi Flag while parading the precious antisemite for your debut. Actions matter and for a smart man you do some really stupid things!

I know it seems I took a bit of a turn at the end there- just a reminder you really suck right now as a human being so you may want to think about how you can change all that, just like how Ghosted could have been better if you had your head out of your ass.

Have a great day, you prick 🫶!

[mysticaltora8276]

I personally don’t understand why some people think that it’s offensive and insulting when I call something lazy and uninspired when it’s a common fanfic trope. Look I don’t like character assassinations. I don’t care who does it be it fanfic writers or creative of a certain franchise. I find it to be lazy and uninspired. This is not a personal attack on people. It’s just me expressing my opinion on the trope that I find to be lazy and contrived and only works because the person does not have the creativity or the wherewithal or understanding of the character to make their plot work. If the only way a ship can work in your story is to basically have a character assassination of the other character than you need to rethink things because not only does it piss off people who like the character, but it just kind of makes me wonder on how some of them think relationships work. Not all relationships break up because the other person in the absolute monster. Sometimes they’re misunderstandings or sometimes people move on. Not all relationships and because someone is an abusive jerk or a cheating jerk. It’s particularly bad and the FANDOM has a big stake in it like say avatar the last Airbender where their ships can get it just downright nasty. I am getting very tired of people saying that Aang is somehow “selfish and insensitive to someone else’s culture”. or that his accidental kissing of Katara is a sexual assault. People he’s a 12-year-old boy who made him a mistake and he immediately backed off when Katara told him not to do it. Not saying that the kid is somehow a saint. Not at all the show makes it clear he has faults. And the comics well they butcher everyone’s character so I’m not really counting that as my personal canon. And they’re contentious, even among people who do like certain other characters.

And you know what? While I’m on my soapbox, I’d also like to say I really don’t like the Star Wars fandoms tendency to misconstrue and misinterpret Jedi and their teachings. Again, I don’t like character assassinations. The piss me off, especially when they draw things out of the ether just to justify their hatred and basically just shows me that they have a profound misunderstanding, the character and they are letting their personal biases for whatever reason ship or love her certain character cloud of their judgment.

If you don’t like a certain character or certain faction, that’s fine. You have your reasons and I can respect that to a point, but when I read a story about that character or that faction, I really don’t appreciate them being shown in such a malicious light when it’s demonstrably not true in the original series. Most of the time it’s not even good work it’s just “ I’m being edgy.” That’s been my experience. Some people have experience as a veteran fanfic writer and reader is that’s how it works.

As for the Doctor Who fandom yeah this applies to companions too. I get really sick of companions getting villainized. Do I like all companions? No. But I don’t like companions getting villainized just for the sake of the plot.

[momsopposed2theoccult]

It’s come to my attention that a good majority of people on this website have a really poor understanding of the conflict between Toph and Katara in “The Chase.” As somebody who loves both characters and their friendship, this irritates me. Without further ado, let’s unpack that in what is in theory supposed to be a meta but turned out more like a rant. 

“Katara was hostile towards Toph because the fact that she’s a gender non-conforming girl made Katara uncomfortable because Katara is obsessed with gender roles.”

Alright, so right off the bat this is just... completely idiotic and clearly fuelled by an agenda (and likely also a lot of projection). First of all, how is Katara of “I don’t want to heal, I want to fight!” fame “obsessed with gender roles?” There’s an entire episode in Book One dedicated to Katara refusing to conform to societal norms for women in the Northern Water Tribe! Katara routinely calls Sokka out on his misogynistic bullshit! (Mind you I adore Sokka but he could be a little twerp at times and Katara was 100% right to challenge him on it) Katara is the feminist icon of ATLA! The fact that people act like Katara is some sort of conservative tradwife who loves gender roles instead of the outspoken feminist and political activist she is makes me incredibly angry.

Second of all, Katara was extremely kind and welcoming towards Toph at first. She gently encouraged her to join in with the group as they all set up camp together as opposed to setting up her own private camp. It’s only when Toph refuses to comply with her that Katara begins to get irritated. Mind you, Toph has her reasons for this, something I’ll get to in a minute, but from Katara’s perspective (key word here is perspective) she’s just being an annoying little stubborn, selfish, lazy, anti-social, entitled brat. Of course we the audience find out later that this isn’t the case at all (or at least in theory we should find out later but apparently some people on here skipped that part), but for all her many talents Katara is not a mind reader and has no way of knowing what’s going on inside Toph’s head, nor does she know her well enough yet to fully grasp the context behind why Toph acts the way she does. Katara is somebody who greatly values community and believes in teamwork, so Toph turning down her warm welcome in favour of “carrying her own weight” likely felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention that she’s already emotionally exhausted from having to constantly mother Aang and Sokka. If I were Katara, I likely would have reacted the same way. 

Oh and I agree that the “the stars look beautiful tonight, too bad you can’t see them, Toph” comment was out of line, but it doesn’t make her a horrible person. It makes her a 14 year old, and 14 year olds can be nasty, especially sleep deprived 14 year olds. Katara is otherwise a very kind and compassionate person. Other characters have said worse than that. Hell, Toph herself has said worse than that. That being said, it was a deeply hurtful comment and I do like to imagine that she apologized for it off-screen. 

“Toph is a lazy, entitled, and classist spoiled rich brat who just didn’t want to do chores and expected other people to wait on her.” 

This is another one that makes me roll my eyes and ask if they even watched the show. First of all, the presumption that Toph is a lazy or entitled person is just... laughable. I feel like people forget that Toph isn’t actually an earthbending prodigy in the way that Azula is a firebending prodigy (I could say more about Azula and how her belief that she was the unshakeable prodigal daughter ultimately caused her downfall and how by the end of the series Zuko is arguably a better firebender than her but this isn’t a meta about Azula and Zuko, now is it?). Nah. Toph was a sheltered kid who discovered she had the ability to earthbend, was told that she could never become great at it because she was blind, and in response said FUCK THAT and decided to work her ass off until she was not only great but the very greatest all thanks to her crazy, stupid, off-the-charts nerve, drive, grit, ambition, and desire to prove people wrong about her. Does that sound like a lazy person to you? Believe me when I say that you do not achieve that kind of skill level by sitting around on your ass and expecting to have things handed to you. And entitled? Don’t make me laugh. Toph hates having things handed to her, that’s one of her defining characteristics. 

As for the implication that she’s classist and enjoys basking in her family’s wealth and being waited on...... are you stupid? Did you even watch the show? Toph absolutely despises everything about her parents’ lifestyle. Growing up like that was traumatizing and restrictive for her. We’re talking about a girl who likes to play around in the mud for fuck’s sake. Toph does not care how much money you have. She never wanted any to begin with. She even says it herself; “I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. They gave me everything I could have wanted. But they never gave me what I actually needed - their love.” Not to mention that she easily could have continued to freeload off her parents wealth but instead chose to sneak out of the house and make her own money doing what she did best; disproving people’s assumptions about her earthbending. Oh and I’ve seen someone point this out before but WWE is generally considered a “low brow” activity that “proper” people frown upon and shouldn’t associate themselves with. Toph fucking loved it. I don’t know how seriously people take the comics, as they often miss the mark when it comes to characterization (Toph’s, however, was generally pretty accurate), but there’s a part in The Rift where Sokka asks her when she’s going to start charging people to learn metalbending and she gets all serious and flat out tells him that she will never do such a thing, because money doesn’t matter to her. Sharing her one true passion with the world is what matters to her. Oh and the part where she basically tells a bunch of rich and sleazy businessmen to fuck off and “stop thinking about money and start thinking about people’s lives” is just... *chef’s kiss* Sorry my thoughts here are so incoherent but this take is so piss poor and makes me so angry that I don’t even know where to start. As for “Toph enjoys being waited on” I just- *sigh* Toph has such a visceral and defensive reaction to any implication that she is unable to take care of herself. Like I said earlier, that’s one of her defining characteristics as well as the reason for her behaviour in “The Chase.” Where are people getting these takes?

You wanna know why Toph acted the way she did in The Chase? Well, first let’s recap her life up to this point. Toph was born the blind daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the Earth Kingdom. From day one her parents treated her like glass due to her disability. She was not allowed to leave her house unsupervised, and even then she was only permitted to walk around the gardens of her home. Every day of her life she was pitied, gaslit, babied, ignored, emotionally neglected, and made to feel ashamed of herself. She was not allowed to make any decisions for herself. She was not allowed to do anything for herself. She was not allowed to talk to other children. She had no friends. Other people didn’t even know she existed on account that her parents kept her locked up in her own home and didn’t tell anybody about her because they were so ashamed to have a blind daughter. Flash forward to “The Chase.” Toph begins to set up her own camp separate from the rest of the Gaang. Considering that she flat out was not socialized as a child and hadn’t even interacted with anybody her own age prior to a few days ago, this is understandable. So then Katara comes up to her and asks her why she isn’t setting up camp with the others as if she’s somehow incapable of taking care of herself (again, this is just what happened from her perspective) like she’s her mom or something and it just angers her because she thought she joined this group to get away from all that and she doesn’t understand how friends work because she’s never had one, all she knows is that apparently this girl thinks she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, and that infuriates her because it’s the exact same bullshit she thought she was running away from.

There’s a lot more I could say about this but I’m sick of typing so yeah in conclusion both of these takes are piss poor and I’m sick of having to read them. Stan Toph, Katara, and their friendship. 

[selfindulgentfanfiction]

What Can I Do? (William One Shot)

WARNING: CONTAINS MINOR SPOILERS OF LOVE UNHOLYC. Please be advised reading if you have not completed at least one route past day 7. I based this off of one of William’s side stories called “A Smiling Master and a Heartbroken Butler”. It isn’t relevant enough to the side story to be a spoiler for it.

Fandom: Love Unholyc Character(s): William and MC (unnamed and gender neutral) NSFW: No Description: Slight AU where even after spending 7 days with Sol, Leo, and Hi, MC still chooses William to be their partner for their Coming of Age ceremony. However, due to William losing his adult body during the day, he distances himself from MC and refuses the second time to be their partner.

“Master?” William knocked on MC’s door 3 times before opening the door. They always scolded him for not knocking, so William was doing as he was ordered; knocking. However, he never nailed the timing on when he should enter. MC was lucky he knocked in the first place, he humored.

William wasn’t expected for the sight in front of him.

The room was empty. No master in sight. Not only were they no where to be found, but the room was mysteriously picked up. All of MC’s dirty clothes were in the hamper and their gaming desk was free of any and all debris or food. 

It wasn’t clean by any means, but it was suspiciously clean for his master.

William knew that MC was in their home 360 out of 365 days a year, but he felt panic swell in his chest. He was concerned for his master’s safety, but the thought of her with those humans made him feel even more insecure.

William’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out swiftly and almost dropped it. He cursed to himself before reading a message from his master.

MC: LIAM! MC: I’ll be home later. I have some things to do. MC: I know you haven’t been speaking to me much since you had to reverse time, but I understand.

William felt a tightness in his stomach at that. He didn’t know that MC noticed his distance, but even more so, he didn’t expect them to understand.

MC: Anyway, I picked everything up in my room. I ate before I left as well and I’ll eat before I get home, so don’t worry about making me anything. MC: I even braided my own hair today! You should be proud! (^-^) MC: Anyway, there’s no need to do anything today. Just take it easy, okay?~ MC: Oh, that’s an order from your master, by the way.

William stiffened. What was this? Why has his master done this? They’ve never done this before. William had so many questions that his head began to spin.

Then, he caught a glance of his reflection in the mirror. William clenched his fist at the sight in front of him.

The young boy in the mirror glowered back at William. He didn’t regret turning back time to save his master from Eater. He would do it a thousand more times. There was no price he wouldn’t pay for his master. He can’t help but wish that he paid any other price other than this one.

He was hundreds of years old, but during the day, he’s stuck in the body of his younger self. He also sacrificed half of his power when he turned back time. Due to his smaller stature, doing chores during the day was more difficult than ever. Keeping up with his master and a mansion in the state of his body was difficult work and often resulted in William cleaning well into the early hours of the morning. He would rest for a couple of hours before waking up to prepare MC’s breakfast. He complained out loud about how hard work has been, but he hadn’t expected his master to notice.

William looked around MC’s room. It was full of random items, all items he’d bought for them. He didn’t mind spoiling them. His master was unmatched as an Unholyc even if they didn’t realize it, managing to attract three partners on their first try for their Coming of Age ceremony. Out of all of the things they could be doing, his master plays games. He doesn’t think this is a bad thing. William’s brow furrowed at the memory of the humans. Leo, Sol, and Hi irritated him more than he could put into words.

William closed his eyes. He found the humans to be ungrateful and troublesome. He remembers how he came to be in charge of the 3 dogs.

-The day MC found their humans-

“Master, get up.” William pulled the comforter of the bed back to reveal a sleepy master, fighting him tooth and nail on getting out of bed.

“No!” MC fought, refusing to open their eyes. They rolled onto their side with a huff.

“You have to find a partner for your Coming of Age ceremony. Or, did you already forget? I swear, master. It’s like you intentionally stress me out.” William sighed. “Please, master. It’s time for breakfast and then the car will be ready for you.”

MC sniffled. Even though they weren’t facing William, he could tell they were frowning. “Why do I have to find a partner?” MC asks quietly. Their voice was laced with sleep and something else that William couldn’t place.

William did his best to hide the annoyance in his tone. “You have to in order to complete your ceremony. You have to have a ceremony to become a full fledged Unholyc. Do we need to have this lesson again?” William teased. He knew his master did not want to have that lesson again, but sometimes getting a rise out of them made them rise out of bed.

MC suddenly turned to face William. Their face was flushed and tears pricked the corners of their eyes. William’s eyes widened at them.

They looked angry at him.

“Why? Why do I need to go find a partner? Can’t Liam be my partner?” MC asked, brow furrowed.

Liam was completely taken aback by his master’s sudden boldness. He managed to open his mouth anyway.

“If my master commands it, I will be.”

MC’s face fell. “I see. Forget I said anything, then.” They got out of bed, refusing to meet William’s eye. “I’ll get ready. Please get out so I can change.”

William studied his master’s back before exiting, softly shutting the door behind him. He stood outside of their door for a few moments, gathering himself. He didn’t appreciate his master playing with his emotions like that. He didn’t want to hold out false hope of one day ending up with his master for eternity.

He didn’t want to be like that stupid butler of Shallotte’s, Pierce.

William sighed to himself. They probably only said that because they were too lazy to leave, and William was the easiest option for them since he lived with them already.

MC requested to eat in their room before they went to find their partner. William scolded them for eating meals in their room, however, it was just to mask how sore his chest felt. Truth be told, he didn’t want his master to find a partner. He wanted to be the only one to channel acme into them. He wanted to be their partner for her ceremony, and for their lives.

He wouldn’t admit this, however. He was fine being their butler forever, as long as he could remain by MC’s side.

No matter what, he just wants to be by their side. He won’t be selfish with his relationship with his master. He would only be selfish with being by their side. He told himself to never wish for more and kept the romantic feelings he had for his master buried as far as he could.

MC returned from their hunt for a partner with not only one, but three.

Not only three, but three humans.

William’s blood burned. Not only would be have to share his master, he would have to share them with three humans?

After they excused themselves to MC’s room, William quickly shut the door behind them. He couldn’t watch them channeling their acme into his master.

-

William’s gaze fell upon MC’s dresser. Before he had to reverse time, this had been where MC placed the gift he gave them on the day of their Coming of Age ceremony.

Even after spending 7 days with those humans, his master still chose him. After all of the hoops they jumped through for those humans, his master still chose him.

Liam sat on MC’s bed before curling himself up in her sheets. When he turned back time and realized what happened to his body, he couldn’t be their partner this time around. One of the humans would have to do it.

He couldn’t protect them like that anymore. He couldn’t provide for them in that way anymore.

Is that why they left today? Is that why they cleaned up after themselves? Were they preparing themselves for a life without William in it?

That must be why she chose the same three humans when he turned back time. They were choosing someone else they could spend eternity with.

-Coming of Age Ceremony-

Sol, Leo, and Hi held a gift out to MC. MC eyed all of them with surprise before tilting their head to the side. “For me?” They asked. All three of the men nodded.

“It’s your special day, my dear.” Leo piped up. “How could we not spoil you today? Especially with how cute you look!” Hi added. “After all you’ve done for us, it’s the least we could do for you, MC.” Sol finished.

William held a hand out in front of his master.

“You can only choose one gift today. Due to it being the day of your ceremony, you must choose the gift from whoever you want your partner to be for your ceremony. Choose one and make it quick.” William explained.

MC bit the inside of their cheek. They looked troubled. They were nervously fidgeting with their hands and shifting back and forth.

“Master.” William spoke up. “Just choose the one from whomever you like the best.”

“But-” MC started before stopping again. “How do I choose only one?”

“What does your heart say, master?” William asked them.

MC looked at William with tinted cheeks. “D- Did you get me a gift, Liam?”

William’s eyes widened along with the eyes of all three humans.

“I....” William trailed off. MC stared at them, urging him to continue. “....Did. I did get you a gift. However, it was a while back ago, since we’ve been waiting many years for this ceremony and all-”

“Please, can I have it?” MC cut him off. “I- I want you to be my partner. But only if you want to be my partner!” MC started fumbling over their words. “I didn’t want to order you to be my partner. I wanted you to want to be my partner.” They added softly. William barely picked up the last part. William began his ascent up the staircase.

“Excuse me for a moment.” He said over his shoulder.

William went to his room before grabbing the carefully wrapped gift. He’d gotten this for MC long ago and would re-wrap it every so often so that it still looked new. He didn’t think he would ever be giving this to them. He wasn’t going to hold back or allow MC to change their mind a second time.

William felt foolish. If he’d have just said yes to MC a week ago, he never would have had to deal with those humans. He never would have had to share his master with anyone. He wanted to make them happy over everything else, though. He didn’t know if they would be happy being his partner or if they were just scared to go find a new one.

Either way, he should have kept his mouth shut.

Descending back down the stairs, William gently took his master’s hand and led them away from the commotion and into the hallway. MC’s face was flushed and William couldn’t hold back his smile.

“Master,” William started, taking their hand in his. “In order for me to be your partner, we must first be under contract.” 

MC’s eyes widened. They must have just come to this realization. “Oh!” They exclaim. “Is it okay to do it this late into my ceremony?”

“Considering all of the steps you’ve messed up this week, breaking one more rule shouldn’t make a difference. You know the magic words, master.” William guided MC to a chaise in the hallway and knelt down in front of them. “Bind me with a contract.”

After MC recited the magic words, William felt his entire body flooding with acme. Even though he’s a few hundred years old, this feeling was new. Acme was coursing through his veins as he gazed upon his master. He’s always loved his master without question, but this feeling was different than anything he’s felt before.

Lust. Protective. Adoration. Fear. Yearning. Love.

He understood why those humans would sacrifice themselves for his master after knowing them a short time. The admiration he was feeling toward his master was almost unbearable.

William took MC’s hand in his before planting a kiss on the back of their hand. When his lips met their skin, he began to let his acme pour from him. 

“I, William, accept this contract to be MC’s partner.” He verbally signed his contract with his master before placing his lips back on their hand.

He was trying to hold back the best he could, but several years of pent up one-sided love was flowing out of him at an unstoppable speed. MC moaned, burying their face into their shoulder to muffle the sounds. William trailed his lips up MC’s arm, allowing his acme to pour into them with each kiss.

Wrist.

Forearm.

Bicep.

With one final kiss to the shoulder, William forces himself to pull back. His master’s face was flushed, mouth open as they were panting. William leaned up and placed his forehead onto MC’s.

“Liam.” They whined his name. It was music to his ears.

“Yes, master. I am here.”

-

“Liam?” MC gently shook William’s shoulder. He was sleep in their bed, glasses still on his face and hair disheveled. William’s eyes opened and fixed on the room around him. It was dark outside and he had grown into his adult body when he was napping.

“Master,” William called out to them softly. “What else can I do?”

MC’s eyebrows knitted together as they sat next to William on their bed. “What do you mean?”

William couldn’t help himself. He wrapped his arms around their waist and buried his face into their side.

“What else can I do so that you’ll want me to stay?” He asked them. He felt his chest swelling with each passing second, waiting for them to tell him to leave their room, waiting for them to yell at him in disgust.

However, to William’s surprise, MC smiled softly at him.

“Did you spend your entire day off in here?” They asked him softly, smoothing his hair down with their fingers. William’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment at the contact but he forced himself to look MC in the eye before nodding. When he snapped out of his daze, his eyes narrowed.

“Day off?” He questioned. He raised his eyebrows at them when he finally registered what they were saying.

“Yes, your day off. What did you think today was? I told you to relax!” They scold him playfully, poking him in the side with their finger.

“So, you were trying to give me a break?” William attempted to get clarification. He was just wallowing in self pity all day for potentially nothing.

MC sighed at him. “I know how hard it’s been adjusting to your body. You’ve looked after me for so long now, and I’m sorry I haven’t been looking after you as well.”

William felt a lump develop in his throat. He tried to swallow.

“You don’t have to do that, master.” William stated. “It’s my job to look after you.”

“True, but it’s my job as someone who loves you to notice when you’re struggling and take some of the burden off.” MC stated back. William’s eyes widened at his master, staring at them with a mix of wonder and admiration for a moment before composing himself.

“I know you’re holding back because of the circumstances, but I will always love you.” MC continued. “I’m going to work hard this week to try and help you get your body back. We will find a way. Then, I want Liam to be my partner again.”

William’s grip tightened on his master.

“I will always be master’s butler. So please, never stop needing me.” He mumbled into their side. “I love you, MC. Let me stay by your side.”

MC rubbed his back affectionately. “And master will always be Liam’s master.”

[pastel-peach-writes]

Freezing | Korra x Reader

PLOT: It was cold. Absolutely freezing outside. Y/n had to figure out how to battle the coldness with their avatar away. 

Warnings: None... unless you wanna count super soft cheesy shiz at the end–

Y/n dragged their feet along the old wooden flooring, it creaking with every step. A plush blanket was wrapped around their head and shoulders, the tip of their nose as cold as a popsicle. It was easy to say it was one of the coldest days in Republic City. If they looked out their living room window, Y/n could see the exhaust from the cars on the road float up into the air, frost beginning to appear on multiple building windows, and fog forming around the near ground. But they didn’t want to look out the window right now. Anything that reminded them of the cold makes them livid.

They looked at the thermostat on the wall with old beige patterned wallpaper with squinted eyes. “I can’t… Am I trippin' or is there nothing there?” They mumble to themselves, rubbing their eyes with one hand to remove any ‘just awoken’ fog and eye crusties. Blinking the blurriness away after opening their eyes again, they stared at the thermostat a little while longer before groaning. Their shoulders slumped down as they rested their head on the white device.

Broken. The thermostat was once again, broken. This only happens twice a year, this would be the third time… but who’s truly counting? Y/n is. All the times the thermos broke was when their girlfriend Korra wasn’t home. It’s like the sneaky little device knew the exact time to break down, knowing good and well that Y/n wouldn’t dare to try and fix it. Not because of laziness, but because it wasn’t that serious to them.

A couple of layers of clothes, blankets, socks, and a warm drink was all they need. Well, besides their internal heater girlfriend. Y/n nor Korra didn’t understand how Korra kept warm in the harsh winter times. Korra has a hunch that it’s due to her growing up with the Southern Water Tribe, but that can’t be it, can it? Whatever the reason was, the two didn’t complain. It being cold in Republic City meant cuddles for the couple. However, those cuddles were going to have to wait. Whilst Y/n was at home freezing, Korra was out working her butt off with Asami and some of the new air-benders.

Y/n found it selfish for wanting to call Korra for a problem that wasn’t as nearly as important as stopping hackers from their technology and teaching air benders how to fend for themselves, but Y/n couldn’t help it! They wanted their avatar and they wanted her now. They took themselves off the wall, moving their shoulders in a forward circular motion to move the blanket back over since it slid down earlier, and made their way towards the dial-phone by the front of the house.

Taking the phone to their ear as they used their other hand to move the phone dial to certain numbers, Y/n began dialing the Air Temple. It wasn’t until the second to last number when the newfound guilt came back to play. Seriously calling Korra out of work… just for cuddles? Come on. That seems a little wimpish. They put the phone back on its stand and made their way towards their shared room. They put on a couple extra layers, grabbed socks, and blankets too before sitting on the bed cross-legged and looking out the window with a sigh.

All they had to do now was thinking of warm things. Like the beam of the Spirit World Portals, the sand of the Republic City shore, Korra’s soft yet calloused hands roaming along their back and shoulders in the morning after they both wake up. The thought of Korra’s hands roaming their skin in a warm, wholesome way made a smile appear on their lips. Turns out cold afternoons were what made them long for Korra even more than usual.

All the daydreaming soon put Y/n to sleep. They went from sitting on the bed cross-legged to laying on their side in a fetus position with their arms crossed over their chest.

“Y/N!” Korra’s booming voice echoed as she entered the apartment. Her smile went from ear to ear. She was able to finish early with Asami AND the new air benders. It usually takes a whole day just to get them motivated, let alone moving. But today she did it and how did she want to celebrate? By cuddling her favorite person, Y/n. She slipped off her boots, excitedly heading into the room she thought Y/n must be since they weren’t answering her vocal calls.

“Y/n!” Korra exclaimed, seeing them wrapped up in blankets on the bed. When no answer came out of the sleeping lover’s mouth, Korra’s eyebrows creased; her lips pursed in concern. She took small, quiet steps towards them, gently reaching out a hand to place on what she thought was their shoulder. Slightly turning Y/n to face Korra, she let out a breath of relief. “Oh,” She whispered. “They were just sleeping.” She pressed the back of her palm to their forehead before smiling warmly, kissing their cold nose.

They were sleeping, she was yelling. She was surprised to see that the kiss was what woke them up and not the yell. With a tired moan, Y/n sleepily looked at Korra. “Huh?…” They started, their voice groggily as they rubbed their eyes. “You’re home early.” Korra nodded, shoving her hands into her pants pocket with a lovestrucken smile. “Yeah, I am. I got to finish early over at the Air Temple, so I rushed here to come see you only to find you sleep.” The Native avatar explained with a chuckle, sitting by the blanket-wrapped lover.

A tired chuckle escaped Y/n’s lips as they turned all the way over to look at Korra. “That’s sweet,” they started, barely having enough energy to look up at her. “I’m sorry you had to come home to me sleep” Korra shook her head, the same dorky and lovestucken smile never leaving her face. “No, it’s okay. It was cute to see My Majesty all wrapped up like a newborn baby.”

Y/n’s mouth opened in shock, no audio coming out but the skin on their cheeks felt warm. Korra let out a wholehearted laugh. “Why are you so wrapped up anyways? It’s not that cold!” She proclaimed. Y/n sat up straight, staring at their girlfriend with wide eyes and comedically timed blinks. Korra rose a brow, looking around the room. “Di-Did I say something wrong—“

“ ‘NOT THAT COLD’?!” Y/n exclaimed. “I’m wearing three pairs of socks, two pairs of pants, one pair of shorts, and five blankets just for you to tell me it’s not that cold?!” “It’s not! I was actually breaking a sweat earlier because of how hot I was.” Korra shrugged, her blue eyes staring into her lovers’. “What,,, is it freezing to you?”

“YES IT'S FREEZING TO ME KORRA.”

Korra let out another hearty laugh, wrapping her arms and legs around her partner. “Oh my gosh, Y/n. Stop yelling and come get the cuddles I know you’ve been longing all day for.” With a teasing pout, they nodded. “Mhm… all I wanted was cuddles from my warm, melty lava cake. How dare you mock me in such a way.” They laughed. Korra rolled her eyes. “You’re so cheesy, Y/n..”

“You love it.”

“…Hey, can you take all these layers off? I can’t even feel your body.”

WC: 1228

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

More Than Words

Summary: The reader and her boyfriend Jensen have been together for years but she feels him slipping away when the physical distance between them starts affecting their relationship. She decides to end things for both their sakes when she feels him stop caring and tries to move on with her life. But an afternoon get together is going to change hers forever and she now has to figure out what that means for both her and Jensen...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 8,900ish

Warnings: language, angst, life in the time of coronavirus, panic attacks, break up, head injury, loss of hearing, fluff

A/N: This wasn’t how I set out for this fic to go but I love the way it turned out. Enjoy!

______

“Hey,” said Jared, throwing an empty water bottle near you. You looked up from your phone, Jared frowning at you. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you said, shoving your phone in your pocket. You sat back in your lawn chair, biting your bottom lip as one of the kids started crying and Gen got up to go investigate.

“Y/N. I asked what’s wrong,” he said.

“Jared-”

“I said what’s wrong.”

“I haven’t talked to Jensen in like...he’s busy filming. I’m stupid is all,” you said. He rolled his eyes and you slumped further down into your seat. You felt him staring at you and felt the bubbling in your chest start to become too much. “Stop looking at me.”

“You know I’ve never seen you cry outside of a scene before. I’ve known you three years.”

“Oh boo hoo. Some people don’t cry all the time you know.” You stood up and were about to grab your chair to toss in the car and drive home with when it hit you. Your back was to him and you heard him stand, your stomach dropping. “I’m so sorry I said that. I can’t believe I said that.”

“Y/N,” said Jared as the bubbling in your chest popped open. You took a breath but it felt too small, not enough air in your lungs. You took another quickly and there still wasn’t enough. Jared said you down on the ground by the time you realized you weren’t breathing right. He was talking but you just felt icy cold veins pumping through you and a pounding in your ears.

You weren’t looking when a bag got shoved over your mouth and he plugged your nose. Your eyes flashed open as you took deep breaths, your breath slowly evening out. He moved his hand from your nose and ran it over your head, saying something to you.

“What?” you croaked out, exhausted and trying to get your bearings back.

“Sweetheart you had a panic attack,” he said. “Has that ever happened before?”

“No,” you said. You shut your eyes again, Jared putting the bag back up as you breathed slowly again. He pulled it away after a moment, rubbing his hand up and down your back. 

“Gen put the kids to bed. I’m gonna carry you up to the guest room, you crash here tonight,” he said.

“You shouldn’t even be this close to me,” you said.

“Our socially distant backyard get together is done. I know you’re safe and you never leave the house. I don’t want you alone tonight. We can go back to your place and I can stay on the couch if you feel better with that,” he said. 

“There’s no way I talk you out of this, is there,” you sighed.

“Nope,” he smiled. 

“I’m okay staying here,” you said. “This is technically a kidnapping you know.”

“Yeah but I’m gonna take care of you so at least I’m a nice one,” he chuckled. “You feel like you can stand up?”

“I think so.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around you, picking you up like you were nothing. You hung onto him and rested your chin on his shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Why? You’re hurting. Nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said. He didn’t ask anything else as he brought you inside. You knew he was gonna talk and ask you a lot of questions you didn’t want to answer. Lately you’d felt like crap but it’d only gotten worse and worse. It had nothing to do with Jared though and you had to insult him on top of it.

“I’m sorry I said that crack about crying.” He shushed you and carried you up to a guest room away from the other bedrooms, setting you down on the mattress. “I’m-”

“You apologized already and I forgive you,” he said. He knelt down and you stared at your lap. “I think we got some of your and Jensen’s clothes from last time you guys stayed the night. Want me to go find it, more comfy than jeans?”

“Okay,” you nodded. He moved away but was back quickly, a pair of your sweatpants laid down on the bed beside you and one of Jensen’s shirts. 

“I’ll give you a minute to change.”

He was back in five, Jared making a face when he saw you’d tossed Jensen’s shirt in the pile with your clothes on the floor. You lay down on the bed and put your back to him, grateful that Jared simply sat on the bed behind you.

“You guys have a fight?” he asked.

“No.”

“Do you not love him anymore?”

“No, Jared.”

“Why aren’t you wearing his shirt then?” he asked. You sniffled and he reached an arm over you, setting a box of tissues nearby. You took one and blew your nose, Jared running his hand over your head. “You gotta talk to me, Y/N. It doesn’t have to be right now but I’m gonna stay here all night and you talk when you’re ready.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“His life. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Sweetie, I’m not following,” said Jared. You reached up and grabbed his hand, holding it to your chest for a few minutes. 

“How’s it going?” asked Gen as you heard him come in. She sat on the bed near Jared and you shut your eyes. “You guys break up?”

“No. Not quite sure what it is yet,” said Jared. Gen touched your leg and you turned your head towards her, getting a smile from her.

“I understand,” she said. You nodded and lay your head back down. A small shake left your body and you felt Jared tense up. “Jared, you’ve never been on this end of it, the waiting end.”

“End of what?”

“The long distance relationship. It gets rough being apart,” she said. 

“Yeah but...these guys have been together for years,” said Jared.

“Yeah and he’s thousands of miles away and she can’t see him in person at all because of all the travel restrictions,” said Gen. “They’ve never done that. We have but not to this extent and you know it’s different, you know that.”

“Y/N, you could always…” trailed off Jared.

“I have work on your show,” you said. “All of his new plans...his life moves a thousand miles an hour. He travels all the time. I like quiet lazy days at home and he’s always going. I think I was convenient.”

“Convenient?” scoffed Jared and you dropped his hand, scooting farther away. “I’m sorry. I know how much he loves you is all. You’re not convenient.”

“I was Dean’s love interest. We lived in the same apartment building. We had the same schedule. I was there, all the time. I haven’t spoken to him in three days. Not real talk. Just small talk. Just casual. He doesn’t ask about me at all. It’s dying. I can feel it. I can’t keep up now and he’s got more music, a brewery, he’s got his own production company now to develop stuff on top of acting and cons. I can’t keep up when he’s away filming, just filming. I get barely any time as it is in a day. It’s selfish but I want my boyfriend back. But he’s not coming back. It’s gone and I can’t deal with being alone. He did nothing wrong. It’s why it’s…”

“Jared, go,” said Gen softly. “Don’t say a word of this to Jensen. He needs to hear it from her.”

“He does love you,” said Jared.

“I know. It’s why it sucks,” you said. He left and Gen lay down next to you, giving you a hug. “How do I make it work?”

“You both gotta work for it. I see you checking your phone all the time, the way you talk about him lately. You want his attention. Sometimes you gotta take a backseat, I get it. Sometimes, everything else has to take a backseat to you. If he doesn’t make the effort, if he doesn’t put you in that front seat when you tell him you need it, I’m sorry sweetie but I don’t know how it works without you feeling like this all the time.”

“Maybe I should call my agent and cancel on Walker. I could move up there with him.”

“You’re gonna ruin the reputation you built up with a network over the past five years? Honey, do whatever you got to for love but following him around the world isn’t going to get him to give you the attention you deserve.”

“It could,” you said.

“What about that idea for a show you had? Are you just going to abandon your whole career for his? You’re not stepping away because of kids or family...you can come back from that easy. If you say no, start backing out of contracts…”

“But what if I tried harder. It’s only been a few months. I’m...I just gotta try harder. I can...I can get his schedule from work and-and call on breaks or I could…” you said as she sat up behind you. You sighed and sat up, Gen giving you a sad smile. “You made it work. I want it to work.”

“We moved fast. I was with him always up until the kids. They made it easier. He checked in everyday, no matter how tired or busy. You’ve been fraying. Jared and I both see it. Other people do. The only person who doesn’t is him and he’s the one who’s supposed to notice it first. I love him like a brother but your happiness is not second to his and his goals. You gotta decide what that means. I think you already made up your mind too.”

“I thought I was gonna end up with him,” you said. You took a deep breath and nodded. “You ever wish you were like, naive? Like you didn’t have any goals for yourself? If I didn’t, it’d all be fine.”

“No, then you’d have a whole bunch of other problems. If you decide to go that route of ending it, do it in person. You both deserve that,” she said.

“He has to fly to LA over the weekend for a few days. Um, if he, if he throws me out of his house-”

“He won’t-”

“Yeah but he’s gonna be mad. If he does that…” you swallowed.

“You can stay here as long as you need to. Always.”

“Thanks, Gen.”

Five Days Later

“Well hey good looking,” said Jensen when you knocked on his hotel room door. He was ready to check out and fly back to Canada. A part of you thought you shouldn’t say a thing, it was cruel to force him to fly back on a plane full of strangers when you were about to break his heart. “Y/N.”

He pulled you into the room and you stared up at him, Jensen swallowing thickly.

“You know what I’m gonna say, don’t you.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I figured when you said you were gonna fly all the way out here just to talk in person.”

“I love you. I’m always gonna love you.”

“I love you too. Can I, can I know who he is?”

“What?” you asked, srucnhing up your face.

“Y/N, I get it. I’m away a lot. I don’t think either one of us is very good at the long distance thing to be honest,” he said. “I’m not mad, honey. I just want you to be happy.”

“There is no guy, Jensen,” you said. You scowled and he let out a small chuckle.

“Well there’s got to be a guy,” he said. “Why else would you want to break up with me? I understand it’s hard right now but we’re fine. If you met a guy, I’m really not mad, I swear. I’d totally rather end things than we go behind one another’s backs.”

“Excuse me?” you said. “You don’t talk to me anymore. That’s why I want to break up, asshole.”

“Don’t call me an asshole,” he shot back. “I saw the pictures on your instagram of you and that guy.”

“He’s from Warner Brothers. He’s our boss. I was talking to him about my show idea,” you said. 

“You two looked a little friendly,” he said.

“I did my first fucking show with him when we were both eighteen. We...what the fuck is going on? Do you think I’m cheating on you?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I’m only saying if you want to be with someone else, breaking up with your current boyfriend is the right thing to do,” he said. 

“What the fuck happened to you, you self abosrded ass,” you said, running your hands through your hair. “What the fuck? I’m sad. I miss you. I cry most nights cause you don’t ask a single thing about me anymore. You’re so busy and I don’t fit in your life. That’s why I want to break up. We’re done. Find some pretty little actress or model that doesn’t give a shit about herself and you’ll be just fine with your wonderful fucking life.”

“Fuck you,” he said, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed. “Fuck you. I’ve been working so hard for us. For our future and our family. If you can’t see that, fuck you.”

“You haven’t initiated one single conversation with me in months. I always have to call, text, facetime, whatever. All you had to do was pick up the phone you arrogant prick.”

There was a knock at the door and you scowled, Jensen opening it to reveal a very beautiful blonde around your age. You recognized her as a character on his show and she smiled at him.

“Ready for the airport, Jay?” she asked, a carry on by her side. She turned to you and was about to say hi when she say your face. “Oh. Sorry. I’ll just...be in the lobby.”

“Thanks,” he said. He shut the door and went to his bed, throwing his bag over his shoulders. “I know you’re thinking it. Just say it.”

“I’m actually not. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. I know you’re a nice person and you’re probably friends with her. I have no problem with you being friends with attractive women. The only problem I have is that I somehow wound up as the least important thing in your life.”

“You are so wrong about that you don’t even know,” he said. He brushed past you and paused at the door. “I’ll be back home in about a month. Stay at the house however long you need but please be gone by the time I get back.”

“Fine. I want it back,” you said as he started to walk away. “I want it back, Jensen.”

He reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet. He opened it up and took out a small square of paper that had been folded up in there for nearly three years.

“I want mine back. You can leave it at the house,” he said as he held it out.

“You don’t want to miss your flight,” you said as you shoved it in your pocket.

“I hope the next guy makes you happier than I did,” he said.

“Me too, Jensen. Me too.”

Two Months Later

“How you holding up?” asked Gen as you knocked back the last of your wine. You were sat in your lawn chair, watching Jensen and his new girlfriend swim around in Jared and Gen’s pool. “Y/N.”

“I need more wine,” you said, holding out your glass.

“No, you don’t,” said Jared as he walked past and stole it from you. “You drank practically a whole bottle and I don’t want you puking.”

“Who cares,” you said as you shut your eyes and leaned your head back.

“Well I think-” was the last thing you heard before a skull crashing thud happened, a soft warm pain drizzling over your head. You blinked open your eyes, on the ground now and seeing a baseball nearby. Feet walked in front of you but no one moved you, Jensen’s face lowering down in front of yours. He said something but you didn’t hear him, his face full of worry as he looked up. 

You shut your eyes as you saw the red covering the baseball, a thin line of something sticky flowing down your cheek.

You woke up to a dark room, turning your head and finding Jensen sat in a chair, knee bouncing like crazy. You looked up and saw some monitors, surprised when Jensen was suddenly right there in his seat and squeezing your hand. He smiled and said something but you didn’t hear it. You touched the side of your head, feeling the wad of bandages by your right ear. There were some covering your left as well and you swallowed.

“I can’t hear you,” you said. He nodded and reached towards the end of the bed, grabbing a white board and marker. He wrote something down and paused, waiting to show it to you. You squeezed his wrist and he spun it around.

“You’re deaf,” he said, lips moving as you read the board.

“Forever?” you asked. He swallowed and erased the board, writing down again.

“They don’t know,” he said. “Depends.”

You touched your head again and he put the board down, wrapping you up in a hug. You clung onto him, Jensen kissing your temple. 

“What happened?” you asked. He sat back and picked up the board, writing for awhile before spinning it around.

“Jared’s neighbor had a batting machine in his yard with no safety net behind. They were going very fast. He was setting it up and a ball came over the fence at full speed, hit you in the right side of your head.”

“How fast?”

“If you weren’t so thick headed, you’d be dead,” he said. He forced a smile and you nodded. “You should be. You’re very lucky.”

“Yeah, I’m so lucky,” you said. It could have been a lot worse. A lot worse. You knew that. You sniffled but didn’t hear it, his head turning towards the monitor as your heart rate sped up. You shut your eyes and felt him cup your face. He wiped away the tears that were starting to fall and you tried pulling away but he kept his hands in place. You opened your eyes, trying to give him a hard glare to go away but he just looked back and smiled. His lips moved and you shook your head. He shook his again and kept your head facing him.

He pointed at his eye and moved his lips. You scrunched up your face but he did it again, pointing at his eye and moving his mouth.

“I?” you asked and he nodded. “This is the worst game of charades ever you realize.”

He chuckled but you couldn’t hear his laugh. You frowned but he put your hand on his chest quickly. You couldn’t hear it but you felt the rumble from his laughter. He was trying so hard to make you feel normal.

“Keep going,” you said. He smiled and pointed at his eye again and said another word. “I…”

He pointed at his eye and then his chest and then your own. He spoke again and you smiled.

“I love you,” you said. He nodded and you dropped your forehead on his shoulder. “You have a girlfriend, Jensen. You shouldn’t be here.”

He shook his head and picked up the board. 

“Just a friend. I was sad after you. She was just a friend there for me. No one since you,” he said. He wrote some more and spun it around. “I’m here for you. Always.”

“We broke up. You have work. You-” he said as he shook his head.

“Fuck work. Fuck all of it. You’re most important.”

“Jensen you have your production company and-” you said before he opened his mouth and said something quickly. He wrote it down and frowned.

“No. You’re most important. I thought you died. Don’t do that to me.”

You nodded and he wrote again.

“I want my letter back.”

“We’re not together, Jensen,” you breathed out.

“I want my letter back,” he said, tapping the board before he wrote more. “Want you back. Let me be better. You can get rid of me if I fuck up. Please.”

“I’m only saying yes cause I’m really scared right now and I want you to fix it,” you said, voice cracking. “Okay?”

He smiled wide and nodded, giving you a kiss. He hugged you and you let him hold you for a long time, a doctor eventually coming inside.

Four days later and you were released from the ICU to go home, everyone deciding you’d be better off going back to Jensen’s house. Most of your things were still packed away in the Padalecki’s garage so it wasn’t too much effort for them to move them.

You were still not used to a lack of noise in your life. You assumed your ear drum had been shattered as had the doctors at first but your inability to hear from your left ear was curious to them. After a whole bunch of tests and a minor exploratory surgery, your ears were actually okay they discovered. There was a swelling around a nerve they believed to be responsible for allowing your brain to interpret sound. You could hear, your brain just didn’t know it they said.

They also didn’t know if they could fix it and wanted to wait a few weeks for the swelling and bruising in your head area to go away before they did anymore tests. Jensen wasn’t thrilled on the idea of potential brain surgery either so for now it was going to be a waiting game. It could come back fully on it’s own. You might need surgery. You might never hear again even with an operation. 

You knew eventually you’d be okay, even if it was permanent but for the moment, you had other things to think about, rebuilding your relationship with Jensen for one. 

You’d been home for about five hours and he was still running around like a maniac, waiting on you hand and foot. He’d never left your side at the hospital and knew was going to burn out fast just like you had if you didn’t say something.

“Jensen?” you called from where you sat watching TV, grateful for the invention of closed captioning. You turned your head and he rushed out from the kitchen. He picked up the board from the table and you shook your head. “You need to listen right now. Not talk.”

He nodded and sat down on the couch, forcing a smile.

“Jensen, I’m deaf right now, maybe forever. I’m still learning and I know some things are a little dangerous for me right now until I get a handle on it. But you gotta slow down and take time for you. I can’t be your entire life. You need to be taken care of too. It’s why I broke up with you. I felt neglected and like I wasn’t important anymore. I don’t want you to feel like that. You can help me, you can always help me. But I’m not helpless. If we’re gonna try again, we’re doing it right,” you said.

He nodded and you smiled. His shoulders sagged and you saw him speak as he tilted his head down. You poked his knee and he looked up.

“I didn’t catch that,” you said. He shut his eyes and looked like he was laughing before he was running his hand over his face. His lips moved quickly. You didn’t catch a word but saw the look on his face and knew he was upset. He punched his leg and talked some more before he stood up. “Hey. Sit your ass down.”

He said something and you scowled, Jensen returning it, his eyes looking wet.

“I don’t know what you’re saying right now but I have a good idea. This isn’t your fucking fault. It was a freak accident. I promise. Let’s go lay down, okay? We’ll lay down like we used to when one of us was having a bad day,” you said. He stared at you and you took his hands in your own. “Please let me take care of you for thirty minutes. You can have the rest of the day back but thirty minutes is all I’m asking for.”

He nodded and you led him upstairs to the master. The room looked the same as you’d left it aside from your nightstand being empty. You sat down on the bed and pulled him down with you, eventually settling in the middle of the bed. He curled into your side and you played with his hair. He mumbled something, you felt it in his chest pressed against you. 

It hit you that you might never hear his voice again and you swallowed. Now was his time and he needed it. You could freak out later if you needed to.

You woke up to Jensen nudging your leg. He smiled and tugged you into the bathroom. There was a board in there and held it up.

“Bandage change time,” he said. You nodded and sat down at the vanity stool while he got out the bag of bandages the hospital sent him home with. He stood on your right side as he undid the bandage around your forehead. Something seemed off the more he peeled back though.

“What…” you said, staring at yourself in the mirror when the last bandage fell away. You touched the side of your head and the back, tracing gently over the large stitch there. “Half my hair is gone.”

Part of your ear looked black along with some skin near your jaw, probably the bruising from the hit. Jensen knelt down but you pushed him away.

“I look like…” you said, biting your bottom lip. He pursed his own before you saw a smile on his face. He mouthed something before he stood and went to his vanity. He plucked the razor out of the drawer and turned it on. “What are you doing?”

“Trust me?” he wrote down. 

“Alright,” you said. You shut your eyes and felt the gentle tug against your skin. He worked for a moment before he turned it off. He smiled down at you and moved your hair, turning you towards the mirror. He’d cleaned up the shaved area and fixed your part, brushing the hair over the side so it looked more like a purposefully done edgy cut. 

“You look perfect,” he wrote, smiling back at you.

“Thanks,” you said. He picked up some gauze and started wrapping up your cut again, gently tucking in the end when he finished. “Funny isn’t it. We broke up because we had trouble communicating, making time in our busy lives. Fate just had to twist the knife a little more, didn’t she.”

He pulled you to your feet and hugged you. You nuzzled into him for a moment before you sighed.

“I don’t wanna forget your voice,” you said. He ran his hand over your head and you held him tighter. “I miss it. I just want to hear you say we’re gonna be okay again and this right now isn’t just a fluke cause you feel sorry for me.”

He stepped back and cupped your cheeks.

“I love you,” he said and you smiled. 

“What if it’s not enough though? At some point you’re gonna have to go back to work,” you said. “And I don’t want to be clingy. I don’t. I just-”

He kissed you before shaking his head. He pointed at his eye, shook his head and then rubbed his palm against his eye.

“Just write it down,” you sighed. He shook his head and repeated the motions. “I don’t know what you’re saying, Jensen. Just write it down.”

He did it again and again and you stomped your foot. 

“I don’t understand. I what? You did what?” you snapped. “What exactly didn’t you do?”

He shook his head and grabbed your palm. He drew a “D” and an “I” followed by another “D” and shook his head.

“I didn’t…” you trailed off as he drew a “T” and a few more letters. “Try. I didn’t try enough.”

He placed your palm against his chest and took a deep breath. He spoke again and squeezed your hand.

“If we’re apart, that’s when it went to shit. We both have to put in the effort, no matter how tired or whatever we are. Promise?” you asked. 

“Yes,” he said with a nod. 

“Good. Cause I really need you right now,” you said. He kissed you and picked you up, carrying you downstairs. He brought you out to the balcony there and sat down in a chair with you. You turned so your back was against him, picking up on a quiet rumbling. You glanced up and saw he was singing. You went to sit up but he pulled you back to his chest. You couldn’t hear him but you could feel the reverberations through his body into yours. 

“You always sing to make me feel better,” you said. You snuggled back into him and nodded. “I can feel you, Jay.”

Lips kissed the top of your head before the rumbling continued and you shut your eyes, trying to guess what song it was he was singing. Whatever it was, you were very grateful for it.

Two Weeks Later

“Ugh,” you groaned as you felt a buzzing on your wrist. You sat up, smacking your new alarm clock off and took off the wrist bracelet, setting it on the nightstand. You still weren’t sure about it and were flipping back and forth with using just the bed shaker option. Jensen didn’t mind either way but it was slowly becoming more and more apparent at how much even little things in your life had to change. You ran a hand through your hair with a sigh as Jensen walked in sweaty in some workout clothes. 

“Good morning,” he signed with his hands and you raised an eyebrow. “Morning?”

“Sorry. Still waking up. Morning,” you yawned. You stretched and watched him pop into the bathroom. There was a text on your phone from Jared and you smiled. At least that still felt as normal as ever.

How’s it going today?

Just woke up to a very sweaty and sexy looking Jensen.

You giggled and he responded with a puking emoji before more typing came up.

Thank you for that mental image. We’re having burgers for lunch if you guys want to come over for a swim. I promise no brushes with death this time.

“Jensen. You want to go to the Pads for lunch?” you called out. He stuck a thumbs up out the bathroom door and you smiled. “Okay, sounds good.”

You texted that you’d be over later before you got up and headed into the bathroom. Jensen was in the shower and he gave you a smile when he turned around to get his hair wet. You brushed your teeth and combed your hair, throwing it up in a bun. You washed your face and smiled in the mirror. You wanted to have a good day. Every day the past two weeks had seemed to have some kind of moment where it all hit you too much too fast and you ended up crying in Jensen’s arms.

You didn’t have brain damage. You could walk, talk and do anything you could before. You just couldn’t hear was all. It could have been so much worse and you were lucky it hadn’t gone that way. Jensen stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, smirking when he caught you staring. It turned softer though as he saw you weren’t checking him out really.

“Okay?” he signed with one hand and you nodded.

“Do you think we would have gotten back together if there was no accident?” you asked. He tucked his towel in and grabbed the white board. You were both only just starting to get a few introductory phrases with signing and while your charade skills had gotten better, most of the time it was easier to be patient and let him write or type out what he wanted to say.

“Yes,” he’d written down. “It would have taken longer and been more of a long slow pain than the fast sharp pain that happened but yes. I want you. Forever. I’m sorry I didn’t try more back then and left it all up to you. It wasn’t fair. I’ll be better this time. I swear on my life I will.”

“I think we would have come back to each other too,” you said. He smiled and set his board aside. “You know, you haven’t talked to me about the accident, about how you felt and what happened. I’d...I’d like to know maybe later on if that’s okay.”

He picked up the board and wrote down some things.

“I got scared. I missed you and that made it worse. I had a panic attack,” he said as your mouth opened.

“You had a panic attack?” you asked and he nodded. “So did I. A few days before I went to LA. I...I was so scared of losing you. I thought I couldn’t keep up with your life.”

He held up three fingers and you cocked your head. 

“Three panic attacks?” you asked. He nodded and he shrugged. “At the hospital?”

“Hospital,” he wrote down on his board. “First day home. Last night after you went to bed.”

“But…” you said and he shut his eyes as he wrote.

“You don’t hear me have them,” he said. “You don’t notice if I get out of bed.”

“You wake me up. You wake me up. That is part of us communicating. Me being there for you.”

“Too much to put on you right now,” he wrote. 

“I’m deaf. I ain’t fucking dead,” you said. “You get me the next time it happens. I want to talk about this more too. I want us to figure out why it’s still happening and you feel like this. I can understand at the hospital. But it’s been almost three weeks. We gotta make sure you’re okay too.”

“Okay,” he signed. “Later?” he wrote down.

“Okay. We can deal with it later. If you feel it coming on though just let me know, okay?” 

He nodded and you gave him a smile.

“Come on. Finish getting dressed and I’ll make us some breakfast, Jay.”

It didn’t take very long into lunch for you to get that pit in your stomach again. Jensen was chatting up a storm with Jared and Gen. You’d already excused yourself to the bathroom and took some time to munch on the snacks that were out. You watched the kids swim in the pool until you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned and all three were looking at you.

“How’d your show pitch go?” Jared had written down on a whiteboard. 

“Oh. Okay I think. They sent a follow up email a few days ago to check in on how I was doing. I got the vibe they thought I was developing it with Jensen through the company. They told me to take my time but it sounds like they want to move forward, probably on a streaming service.”

He said something and you forced a smile, Jared quickly realizing and writing down again.

“That’s awesome!” it said and you nodded.

“Yeah. I’m gonna go hang in the pool a bit I think,” you said. You got up and pulled off your shirt and shorts, sliding into the deep end and submerging yourself. It felt nice in the warm air to cool off. Your head popped up and you watched the kids play in the shallow end. You jumped when the water shifted beside you and Jensen was there suddenly. You took a deep breath and relaxed, following his lead when he tugged your hand. He started to swim and play, lightly splashing you. You spun around and were met with a face full of water. You coughed as you saw Jared pop up, Jensen wrapping an arm around you. You spit out the water in your mouth and swam over to the side, resting your head against the cool cement. You hoisted yourself up and out before you picked up your towel nearby and took a seat back at the table. 

“You okay?” asked Gen, moving a whiteboard in front of you. 

“I can’t hear the water moving or other people. It freaked me out a little. I’ll be okay,” you said. Jensen came back not long after and the boys decided to start cooking instead. Gen did her best to hold a conversation with you using the white board but eventually you just started texting one another to make it easier.

“Let’s go home after we eat,” Jensen texted you. The next thirty minutes the three of them didn’t talk much and you wished you stayed home in the first place. You wanted to shower and crawl into bed for the rest of the day.

“I’m sorry,” you said on the quick drive home. You stared out the window as Jensen held your hand, giving it a squeeze. “I thought I was ready for that but I guess it was too much.”

You didn’t look at him and tried to head inside the second you were out of the car but Jensen picked you up and walked out of the garage with you.

“Jensen what are you doing?” you asked. He carried you around to the back of the house and over towards the pool. “I don’t want to swim. It’s too-”

He walked into the pool with you and took your hand, drawing letters on it.

“Safe?” you asked and he smiled. “I don’t feel safe though in the water right now. I can’t-”

He swam over to the steps and sat you down on them, Jensen holding up a finger. He jogged out and over to the patio, grabbing something off the table and walking back over. He held up a small plastic tube and popped off the cap, dropping two small foam pieces into his hand.

“Ear plugs?” you said as he put them in. He stepped into the shallow end and sunk down a bit, holding out a hand for you. 

You knew what he was doing. You knew exactly what he was doing. He swam out further and came back, tilting his head with puppy dog eyes.

After a moment you stepped down and went to him, swimming out to the deep end with him. You went back and forth for a bit, slowly getting used to the feel of the water and how the movements made it shift. Eventually you went off on your own, mindful to be aware of where he was in the water too but you felt calmer after awhile. 

It wasn’t until your stomach was rumbling that you realized you’d spent the afternoon out there. You climbed out of the water, Jensen following after. You wrapped yourself up in a towel, Jensen still a little worried looking.

“Thank you, for going slow for me,” you said. He tilted his head and you giggled. You tapped his ear and he pulled out his earplugs. “I said thank you for today.”

“You’re welcome,” he signed back. 

“You had those in for awhile. Feel weird?” you asked. He nodded. “You get used to the quiet.”

He made a gesture like he was playing a guitar and you shrugged.

“I miss music. I miss sounds like rain or birds in the morning. I miss voices the most though. That’s the hard one to get over,” you said. “Let’s wash up. I’m getting hungry.”

Forty minutes later you were eating some pizza while Jensen glared at his phone. He scowled as he typed, setting it down before he caught your face.

“Your test yesterday had no clear signs of physical injury,” he typed on his computer. 

“Isn’t that good?” you asked with a mouthful of food.

“Yes and no,” he typed beside you. “Yes in that you’re not physically hurt from what they can tell. No in that it’s less likely your hearing comes back.”

“Oh. What else did they say?”

“They’d like to do more tests next week and possibly a more indepth exploratory surgery.”

“What’s that mean?”

“They’d have to crack open your head. They didn’t do that before. I don’t like the idea of brain surgery. It’s very dangerous,” he wrote. 

“Oh. Did, did you look up this kind of surgery?” you asked. 

“It was explained to me at the hospital by your doctors. It sounded very risky for something that probably won’t help anyways,” he said. 

“I understand,” you said. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your panic attacks would it?”

He moved his hands away from the keyboard and picked up his pizza slice instead.

“Jensen. I’m going to call the doctor tomorrow and they can explain the surgery to the both of us. If I have hesitations, if you do, I won’t do it.”

He shook his head and you shrugged.

“S’not your head. You don’t decide how I decide.”

“But…” he started saying and you ate some more pizza.

“It’s not been that long. I want to give it more time. This is something we’re going to figure out together,” you said. “Okay?”

“Okay,” he said.

“It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Six Months Later

“Jensen,” you called as you stepped in the door from the airport. “I’m home. Guess who just sold our first show to Netflix…”

You trailed off as you walked into the kitchen to find the lights dim and the table set with candles and all. Jensen popped out from around the corner in his favorite suit of yours and walked over, holding out a light blue flower.

“What’s the special occasion? Did they call? I told them to let me surprise you,” you said. He shook his head and shrugged.

“I love you,” he said as you read his lips.

“I love you too,” you said. He dug into his pocket and held out a folded up piece of paper. “Is that the letter you wrote? The one for...if something happened to either of us?”

“No. It’s different,” he signed. You took it and unfolded the note, biting your bottom lip.

I’ve been meaning to do this for over a year. I made a mistake once and took you for granted. I forgot to talk to you. I forgot talking to you is my favorite thing in the world. I hate that the last words you ever heard me speak to you were cruel ones. I hate that I stopped trying. I hate that I made you feel so low and that I made you feel uncomfortable talking to me about how you felt in the first place.

I hate how scared you’ve been. How we had to learn everyday things over again. How so much was taken for granted. I hate that when I speak, when I tell you it’s okay and we’ll get through this, we’ll get used to our new normal, you don’t hear them. I hate how much pain there’s been in our lives the past year.

But I love watching your confidence grow every day. I love finding new ways to say I love you. I love that not only have you become the person you once were, you’re better. I love seeing you go start your own show, something you didn’t believe could ever happen a year ago. I love hearing you laugh and giggle and still find joy in the smallest things. I love learning to talk to you properly for the first time. Every slow and aggravating conversation. Every sign language class where we learn the dirty words and giggle about it to ourselves. Every way I learned that the worse thing in my life would never being able to speak to you again.

I don’t get to speak to you like we used to. When it was so easy. But it was broken. It wasn’t really talking. Or I wasn’t really talking I should say. I see the difference now. I feel the difference. It was never the fact I didn’t ask questions about you back when we broke up. I know that now. Words are easy. Showing someone without the words, that’s harder. That’s where I failed before. I don’t ever intend on failing again. 

You may never hear me tell you how much I love you again. But I know you feel it. I know I do a better job of showing it. I’ll keep saying them and you keep smiling and I’ll know you hear them. It’s not ideal but it’s how it is for us now. 

The one benefit to all of this is that you don’t hear the waiver in my voice right now. I don’t think I’ve given myself away up until now. I meant to do this a year ago but I’m glad I waited. For the first time in my life I know how to talk to you. I know how to ask this. We don’t need words. Oh and honey, if you haven’t noticed yet, look down.

You stopped reading the page and noticed him kneeling on the ground, staring up with a soft smile. 

“Yes, I will,” you said. He stood up and you smiled. “So where’s the ring?”

“Very long story,” he signed. “But it’ll be here in the morning, I promise. I’d already set all this up when I found out there was a slight hiccup with the delivery.”

“That’s okay. You’re the real prize,” you said. He threw his head back and you laughed. “Oh I could feel that groan. So what’d you make me for dinner, handsome?”

“Takeout. Another incident. Quite miraculous our house is still standing actually,” he said. “Today’s been a day.”

“A good one?” you asked. 

“Oh yeah. Best one yet. Let’s dig in while it’s hot, fiance.”

“Jensen,” you said the next morning, padding into the bathroom. He was in the shower, smirking as you stepped in with him. “Who said you were allowed out of that bed?”

He finished with his hair as you squeezed his hips. He laughed and spun you around when your hands wandered lower.

“Mr. Ackles. Are you up to no good this morning?” you teased. You took a step back and your foot landed on something slick. It went out from under you and you fell backwards. 

You woke up on the tile floor of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around you, Jensen pressing a towel to your head as he dialed his phone.

“No, no,” he said. You blinked and sat up, Jensen pushing you back down.

“No, honey. You hit your head. Stay there,” he said. 

“911, what’s your emergency?” the woman on the phone said.

“My fiance just fell in the shower and hit her head. She’s bleeding,” he said. “She had a brain trauma earlier this year and she was just knocked out.”

“We’ll send an ambulance to your address. Is she still in the shower?” she asked.

“N-No. I got her out,” he said, voice a little shaky and you tilted your head at him. “Y/N.”

“Jensen,” you said with a smile, Jensen letting you sit up that time.

“Did...can you hear me?” he asked. 

“Turn around and stop signing to me and then ask me,” you said. He momentarily took his eyes off of you and paused.

“If you can hear me, say applesauce.”

He turned around and you smirked.

“Applesauce? Really?”

He threw his arms around you and hugged you tight.

“I still literally like cracked my head open a minute ago so…” you said, Jensen moving back to put pressure on your head. “You sound muffled, like you’re underwater or something. But it’s something.”

“I will take something,” he said. He cupped your cheeks and you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Love you.”

“I love you, so fucking much. Are you okay if I get you some clothes to change into quick?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’m okay, Jay. Definitely okay.”

Six Hours Later

“So?” asked Jensen as soon as the doctor walked in. He gave you a smile and handed you a sheet. 

“I have 70% function in my left and forty in my right?” you asked.

“As of this moment, yes. I want everyone to be cautiously optimistic about this. This could be temporary or it could get better. We just don’t know and I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. The good news is that your brain is still able to interpret sound, even on a limited basis.”

“I’ll take the muffled sounds. I’ll take whatever I can get. It’s still...difficult to understand voices but I can make out most words with some effort,” you said.

“We’ll keep you overnight to make sure there’s nothing else going on. You very likely will need to continue with your sign language and other methods of communication you’ve developed over the months. I don’t recommend brain injury to fix these sorts of things but we’ll see how you are in the morning and hope this will be a permanent change.”

“Thanks,” you said. He excused himself and Jensen sat down on your bed, looking you over. You signed to him and he returned it, nodding before he took out his phone.

“There’s a song on the new album. It’s for you. Can I play it?” he asked.

“Yeah. Let me use headphones. That might work better,” you said. He went to his bag and pulled out a pair, shoving them in the phone before handing it to you. He hit play and sat back as you heard nothing but quiet. Soft gentle notes came in slowly, his voice matching them as he started to sing. “I like it. It’s pretty.”

“There’s two versions. That’s the track for everyone. Then there’s one for you,” he said.

“Me?” you asked. He waited until the song finished to pick the instrumental version of the song and choosing to play it. Immediately you could tell the difference, the bass cranked up so you felt it in your ears. “What is that?”

“I made it so you could max the volume on a speaker and you could feel the beat through the bass. So you could hear music again.”

“I love it,” you said. “It’s my favorite song ever. Really. Thank you Jensen.”

“Thank you,” he signed. You pointed at your eye and your chest, then over to him. “I love you too. Can we keep the head injuries to a minimum going forward though? I don’t think I can handle another one of these.”

“I’ll do my best,” you said. You reached out for him and gave him a hug, taking a deep breath, giggling when you heard him do the same. “Would you sing for me?”

“For you, anything,” he said. “Anything at all, sweetheart.”

_______

[thedeviljudges]

the devil judge + the seven deadly sins

so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.

but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. it’s not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope it’s enough to chew on.

while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.

gluttony

the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.

and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize it’s not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasn’t just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.

you’ll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but y’all know who i’m talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. it’s the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone else’s sacrifice.

lust

i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitango​. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because it’s monetarily worth something.

but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i won’t say revenge necessarily because they’re doing as they’re told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohan’s fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.

and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.

envy

envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people don’t necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.

sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and that’s true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means she’s looked down upon by those she thinks matters.

which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all it’s cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. it’s lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?

more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then that’s what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.

“people of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,” according to Understanding Philosophy.

wrath

while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think he’s lived with a tampered flame since his parent’s death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isn’t until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him it’s okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.

gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaon’s ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.

the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the minister’s suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesn’t like what he sees. at this point, gaon’s upset isn’t necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesn’t absolve himself from what they did. he doesn’t turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohan’s, too.

with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you won’t be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, it’s an ever-pressing theme of his.

thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses he’s given himself in his revenge story. he’s always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over people’s lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.

his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, it’s easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaon’s mentor that he is an abyss. he’s referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what he’s doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims he’s an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means he’s an animal/monster.

wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and that’s a dangerous type. it’s actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until they’re almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.

sloth

sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because she’s featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.

soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning “without care.”

the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while it’s easy to argue that the minister hasn’t been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isn’t lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.

but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it “hinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of man’s undoing” according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.

while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of sloth’s traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. it’s an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.

greed

i don’t know that jinjoo would’ve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasn’t for sunah’s direction, but she’s eager to please and wants to be useful. it’s only natural for her to want more because it’s clear she’s a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.

but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you can’t have more than what you do, and in jinjoo’s situation, she’s already overlooked through no fault of her own. and it’s not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, they’re after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but they’re all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda. 

i don’t think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think that’s only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and she’s keen not to be overlooked. this isn’t her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone who’s been left in the dark for so long.

she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.

pride

soohyun’s pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaon’s. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but we’ve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesn’t let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.

it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. it’s not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the minister’s son’s car. she’s ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadn’t been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.

but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply don’t know beyond that of gaon. it’s unfortunate because we don’t have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what she’s able to accomplish, which is why it’s devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.

aristotle is of the belief that, “pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,” from Nicomachean Ethics.

but pride for soohyun isn’t about honors or rewards. it’s for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues she’s set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes it’s not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. it’s about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i don’t mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.

for soohyun, she knows that gaon’s actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what we’ve seen, i think it can be argued that it’s really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.

to put this in layman’s terms, we’ll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows it’s wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaon’s gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?

and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - i’m not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.

every character indulges

truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and that’s what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.

the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. they’re also a defining feature of aristotle’s works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.

the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, it’s about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when we’re blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when we’re swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if we’re not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.

the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if it’s even possible to find the correct answer.

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 30

I really appreciate these quieter moments in this series, these kind of comedic moments that kind of get swallowed up by the epic, dramatic events. And seeing the Yiling Laozu hawking turnips by the side of the road is just such a good contrast from what we've seen earlier from his fake disciples. It's a very funny comparison to how people view him. It's a very good example of reputation preceding the person. And not only Wei Wuxian, but you also have Wen Ning, the Ghost General, most often one of the meekest people you'll ever meet.

This is just hysterical: the fake disciple shows up right next to them, trying to sell "spiritual tools!" And, of course, Wei Wuxian can't resist the urge to check it out. I so would have loved to see the look on that guy's face if he'd found out who Wei Wuxian actually was, especially since he later calls him a "dirty turnip seller."

Jiang Cheng looks so offended when he hears that Wei Wuxian already knew Jiang Yanli was getting married. He asks from whom he found out, but isn't it obvious? Who else would have told Wei Wuxian but Lan Wangji? And I feel like Wei Wuxian's answer of "none of your business" makes it even more obvious. Just another moment to make Jiang Cheng feel inferior.

She is so gorgeous here, though. I really wish we had gotten to see some of the wedding, even if it wasn't part of the book. It would have been interesting just from a cultural perspective (not that I can't just go look this stuff up, but I'm lazy and also very busy IRL). I really love the red and gold, and those earrings are so pretty! Just another example of the excellent costuming department. They did such a great job on this series--it's honestly one of the best parts for me, outside of Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan.

Oh my gosh, Jiang Cheng looks so pleased here hahaha! "My incoming nephew!" Hahaha! What if she had a girl, though, huh? That actually would have been interesting. I was confused reading this part in MDZS, because I thought Jiang Yanli was getting married, but then they were talking about her baby, and I'm like ????

But this part is super cute, how she wants Wei Wuxian to help pick the courtesy name, and how he manages to add "Lan" into it. So sweet. And of course Jiang Cheng looks so annoyed. Love it.

I feel that the central message of this series up to this point is that soup can solve all problems. But really, they all have an unhealthy obsession with soup. I get it, I get it, it reminds them of old times, it's comforting, it's something they've done as a family for years and years....I just need some stupid side character to pop up every once in a while to say, "If you like soup so much, why don't you marry it?" Am I the only one who feels like they're really trying to shove the soup down our throats? The message is heard loud and clear the first several times. And I think even seeing it at a pivotal moment, paired with Wei Wuxian's "I'm hungry" line is enough. We get that he's not hungry for soup and that his hunger is a metaphor--he's not craving food, he's craving comfort and love.

It's pretty clear here that Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to come back. He gives him another chance to give up the Wens and return to Lotus Pier. Again, I think he cares about Wei Wuxian, but I also think he wants Wei Wuxian on his terms. He wants someone he can control and someone who'll be obedient and subservient to him. In other words, he doesn't want Wei Wuxian, the rebel, the outcast, the Yiling Laozu. He doesn't understand until Wei Wuxian says it (and even then, I'm not sure he gets it) that Wei Wuxian is close to the Wens, and possibly even considers them family as well. He was willing--and did--give up his whole life for them.

I think Jiang Yanli is more understanding of what Wei Wuxian has done, but she still wants him to come back. She cares about his wellbeing more than anything, so her concerns are different than her brother's. But I think, ultimately, it's a selfish wish that she desires him to come back into the fold. I can't really fault her for that. Because of the situation and the politics, she loses someone who she considers a younger brother. Saying goodbye here is potentially saying goodbye forever, and it's not fair. Were she a man, even, things may be different, but marrying into the Jin Clan almost certainly denies her the right to visit Wei Wuxian on her own. I do like how she never asks Wei Wuxian to come back, but she asks Wen Ning how he is doing among the Wen remnants. I wish we had gotten to see that conversation, because I'm actually curious what Wen Ning said.

This is heartbreaking here: the music, her steps forwards and backwards. The hesitation makes me anxious and tense and sad. Wen Qing knows Wei Wuxian gave up everything, she sees how despondent he gets, how depressed he gets: his drunk ramblings about Emperor's Smile and Lan Wangji, his sudden urge to grow lotus flowers. And now she finds out that he's seen Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli. She knows that he's saved them all at the cost of his own happiness and his own life and ambitions. She wants him to go back, but at the same time, she doesn't want to lose him. I noticed in the prior scene how they were all sitting at a table together: Granny Wen, A-Yuan, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and Wei Wuxian. It's like they were a little family. And I think that's what Wen Qing feels for Wei Wuxian--he's like a younger brother, someone she feels like she needs to take care of. He's nothing like her own brother: he's rash and wild and irresponsible, but I think she feels familial love towards him all the same. And I think they connected on an intellectual level as well--it seems that he is one of the only people she can really talk to and be honest with, at least from what's shown to us. It's the old adage: if you love something, let it go. She knows in her heart that she'll eventually have to let him go--not just him, but all of them. She says this later, but she knows they're living on borrowed time. They were never supposed to have survived this long, and they only did because Wei Wuxian gave up his life. It's so sad.

And then we have this great scene, where Wei Wuxian is at war with himself. Is he Wei Wuxian, the man who would be the other Twin Pride of Yunmeng, Clan Leader Jiang Cheng's subordinate? Or is he the Yiling Laozu, the man who sacrificed everything for his own principals? He wants to exist in both worlds--he wants to be true to himself and his values, while also supporting those he loves. But the choices that he's made up to this point have landed him squarely on one side, and he can't cross over now. The politics, the demonic cultivation--everything in the world being what it is, it's impossible for him to change now. He can't be the Yiling Laozu and be part of the Twin Prides of Yunmeng. Again, it's quite sad, but ultimately he still doesn't know if he made the right choices or not.

Just Wei Wuxian taking credit for something that he had barely anything to do with! But seriously, talking about gardening, especially with what little they have, the only thing that was a factor in whether or not the lotus would take root was the soil quality and the amount of water. It's silly to me that Wei Wuxian made it all about destiny. Really, it's not hard to grow a plant. What's hard is getting that plant to flower and produce fruit (if it's that kind of a plant). So, honestly, it's a bigger achievement that they were able to grow those turnips.

Wow, this episode really wants to hammer home how much Wei Wuxian misses Jiang Yanli and being apart of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. I was going to say it's about how he regrets his choices, but I still think it's unclear if he regrets them or not. I think he's very torn on what he would have done if he'd had the chance to do it again. I'd say he's leaning heavily towards regret, but that he's also very invested in his principals and the oath that he made on the mountain that day. But in the same episode, we have Jiang Yanli getting married, which he is unable to attend, and now she has given birth to a baby, who Wei Wuxian won't be able to see (or so he thinks right now). He's realizing that his rash decisions that made sense in the moment now seem very shortsighted. Life in Yunmeng and the world beyond has gone on without him, and it will continue to go on, and that's a very sobering thought.

What a dick. Just let him hold the damn baby!

Okay, first of all, FINALLY, Lan Wangji is here. I couldn't remember if he was in this episode of not. Secondly, of course he's fighting for Wei Wuxian's rights again. Gotta love the guy for not giving up. And also, you have to love Lan Xichen for agreeing with him. Wei Wuxian hasn't stirred up any trouble, he's been hiding away in the Burial Mounds. He should be able to come see his shijie's son. But man, even Lan Xichen is taking the heat here. Jin Zixun says, "even you, Zewu Jun, are defending a traitor" (paraphrasing), as if Lan Xichen should be above that. Jin Zixun is used to Lan Wangji defending Wei Wuxian at this point, but this is a bit of a first for Lan Xichen. Even though I'm a sucker for "us vs the world" tropes, I like how Lan Wangji's brother is on his side and does come to his aid here.

I love how the conversation quickly devolves into trash-talking Wei Wuxian and, by extension, Lan Wangji. Why does he have a friend like Wei Wuxian? Does that also mean that he is like him? Jin Zixun is really out of line here and essentially saying Lan Wangji is fraternizing with the enemy--basically, he may not be worthy of the title of Hanguang Jun. Personally, I eat this shit up. I love that Lan Wangji is being put on the spot here by that asshole, and how both Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao are about to side with Jin Zixun.

And God forbid the father of the actual baby should have anything to say about this, right? I get how things are there culturally, but I would think that the future clan leader, Jin Zixuan, should get some say in who's invited to his child's first month celebration. Wei Wuxian is someone who remains close to his wife, despite the physical distance between them. He should be allowed to attend. It's great to have seen Jin Zixuan grow up, you know? He was such a tool at the beginning, but he comes to love Jiang Yanli, and through that, accept Wei Wuxian. That doesn't mean they are friends, but he respects that Wei Wuxian is a part of the family, regardless of the situation. Jiang Yanli loves him, so Jin Zixuan accepts him as well.

I feel like half the room is willing to support Wei Wuxian coming, but none of them can deny that Wen Ning is a problem. Even Lan Wangji knows how dangerous he can be, having seen it firsthand when he lost control.

Jin Guangyao: How's that Hundred Holes curse treating you, Zixun? ;)

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

[rivers-rambles21]

The one where you’re both idiots

Part 8 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Summary | Reader and Bucky become friends after he saves her from  a creep in their apartment building. Each chapter explores a different  point in their friendship - very slow burn!

Warnings | 18+ only, Smut in later chapters (this is a slow burn), swearing, unprotected sex, oral sex, (later chapters)

This is my favourite chapter so far as we’ll start seeing the events of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier impact the story more.

Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

“How was your session with the world’s worst therapist?” You asked as you started unpacking your groceries. You’d run into Bucky on your way home from picking up a few things for your evening meal and had invited him inside with the offer of a home cooked meal. 

Taking the milk from you, he helped put your items away as he pondered his response. “Same as always, she asks about the nightmares, I lie to her and she starts writing on that damned notepad.” Taking a tomato from the bag, he snuck one into his mouth and put the rest away, giving him a second to think before continuing. He’d been at your apartment that many times by now he knew where everything lived.

Hoisting himself up onto the kitchen countertop, he sat in his usual spot as he watched you busy around, pulling your utensils out ready to cook. “She also brought up how alone I am.” Despite his efforts, his voice broke slightly, something that you didn’t fail to notice. 

“Well that’s a load of bull” You scoffed as you turned to face him, opening your arms wide. “You’ve got me!” 

He smiled back at you, his face lightening up. “That I do doll, that I do.” 

Satisfied, you turned your back on him once again and began washing the vegetables. 

“I had lunch with Yori,” He continued.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah...  I’ve also got a… got a date tomorrow” Your hands froze as you felt your heart break, your stomach twisting into knots. A second later you composed yourself and continued with the task at hand, rubbing your hands over the mushrooms repeatedly. 

“Oh.” You remarked, not trusting your voice to say anything further. 

“Yeah, Yori kind of set it up. I tried to explain there was a bit of a dance to this sort of thing but he went ahead with it anyway.” Bucky had missed your reaction when he’d told you about the date and proceeded to pick up one of your kitchen knives, twirling it between his fingers as a distraction. 

Those seconds were all you needed to compose yourself as you shut off the water and began chopping the veg up, mentally preparing your response in your head. “Well it’s good to get out there, when was the last time you had a date?” 

“1942 Stark Expo” He replied with no hesitation. You turned on your heel and gestured towards the cupboard above Bucky's head. With a smile, instead of moving aside, he spread his legs for you to step into. For a second, his smile made you forget what he’d just told you and you were back to it just being you and him, no mystery woman who you feared would take him from you. 

“Lazy shit.” You muttered as you stepped between his open legs swinging the cupboard door open and reaching up for a can. 

For Bucky, he was enjoying the view. Your top had risen and he had a perfect view of your stomach, begging to be kissed. 

As you placed the can on the counter beside him and searched for the opener something suddenly dawned on you. “Does that mean you’ve not gotten laid since 1942?” Your eyes met his and he chuckled in response. 

Picking up the can, he jabbed his knife into it and expertly cut into the lid, opening it with ease. Handing it back to you he shot you another smile. 

“Believe it or not, courting women in the 1940’s was a bit different. Girls didn’t fuck outside of marriage as they do now, and if they did it was a rarity. But, that didn’t mean both of you couldn’t get off if you put other things to use.” He smirked back at you as your jaw dropped, mouth hanging open at his honesty. Not quite knowing what to do with that information you turned back to the stove, your cheeks flushed from not just the heat. 

“Well… I’m sure your date tomorrow will be a welcome relief.” 

“Eh… She's a nice girl and all but I don’t see it going anywhere. Beer?” 

“Oh, um yes please.” A few moments later you heard your fridge open and close and the sound of bottle lids going into the trash. Leaving your beer to the side, he resumed his previous position and continued watching you cook. 

“When was the last time you saw any action?” Bucky wasn’t sure why he asked in all honesty, he’d rather not know as just picturing you with anyone else drove him mad. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You laughed. “No but seriously I think it’s been two years now?” Taking a swig of your beer you leant against the counter and faced him. “Oh god, it’s been seven. I forgot about the blip. Holy shit.” Grabbing your beer again, you took a few more gulps, enjoying the liquid running down your throat. 

Despite not really wanting to know the answer, Bucky found himself slightly pleased you’d not been with anyone in a while for purely selfish reasons. 

The rest of the evening was spent eating good food and watching TV, something which Bucky didn’t take for granted. He’d only told his therapist part of the truth. When he was alone with you, enjoying each other's company, talking about nothing and everything, he felt calm - content. 

The following day Bucky didn't hear from Y/N at all and his date went as he expected. The girl was nice, charming even but he didn’t feel a connection. He felt bad for lying about his gloves and even worse when she brushed off his comment around his age. Yori was the last straw and he had to get out of there. The guilt was overwhelming, suffocating and heavy. He’d rushed over to Yori’s place with the intention of confessing his sins but something held him back. It wasn’t the first time he’d hesitated, something about him just made him stop every time. Maybe it was the fact that Yori was a friend, someone who seemed to understand his odd quirks, put up with his grumpiness and still wanted to be around him. Then again, maybe he only did that as he got a free meal out of it.

He found himself back at his apartment building, banging on Y/N’s door, praying you were home. But he was met with silence.

He spent the rest of the night watching TV, drinking as many beers as he could before he eventually passed out, either out of boredom or tiredness, the mental battering he’d taken finally taking its toll. 

It wasn’t until the following evening he finally saw you. The sound of bags dropping to the floor as you muttered explicits under your breath whilst searching for your keys was undeniably you. 

Without a second thought, he opened his door, eager to see you. 

“Hey doll”

Turning your heel, you faced him. “Oh hey Buck”

“Lost your key again?” He remarked, smirking. 

“As usual” You muttered, finally finding them amongst the junk in your purse. 

“I was worried about you y’know.” Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his piercing blues as he stared back at you. “You didn’t come home last night, it’s not very…. You. Who is he?”

A laugh escaped your lips before you could stop it. “She is called Lauri and I just ended up staying over.” You tried to make yourself sound as convincing as possible, knowing deep down you hadn’t wanted to overhear any late night activities if his date had in fact gone well.

“Oh. Oh!” His eyes went wide when he thought he’d realised something but couldn’t have been further from the truth. “Well, I hope she’s treating you right.” 

And he truly meant it. Despite pining after you these past few months, your happiness was his priority, regardless of how desperately he wanted to be the one fulfilling that for you. 

You slowly opened your door with your back to him, trying to suppress a grin. “Way off the mark there Buck, although I’m pretty sure she would show me a great time, it’s not like that. We’re just friends.” 

The small sigh of relief that left his lips as he processed what you said, making you pause for a moment. Surely he wasn’t happy that you - ? No, impossible. 

“Fair enough.” He replied, coughing to hide a slight choke. 

“Do you want to come in?” You asked, opening your door wide for him to enter. With a gentle smile he nodded, closing his own door behind him he walked into your apartment. You tried your best to not notice the way his t-shirt hugged his body in all the best ways, tightening around his broad shoulders before delving down to his biceps, the metal of his arm reflecting the light from the hallway. You said a silent prayer before following him in, urging your eyes to stop flitting back to his body and the way his jeans fitted around his tight- no Y/N, no. 

You followed him further into your small apartment as he settled on the couch whilst you put your bag into your bedroom. Pulling the door, you gave yourself some privacy as you pulled some loungewear from your drawers before sliding your top off over your head. “How did your date go?” You asked. You’d prepared it over and over again in your head, testing your tone and delivery to avoid him picking up on the nervousness you felt asking the question. 

“Disaster, I let half way through.” 

Your eyes unintentionally lit up as you unfastened your bra, throwing it into the laundry basket in the corner of your room. “Jesus Buck, what did she do?”

You heard a shuffle coming from your living room, Bucky no doubt playing with the thread coming off your couch as he usually did when he was deep in thought. “It just didn’t feel natural y’know? I wasn’t comfortable with her, I couldn’t be myself, and then she brought up Yori and I-” He couldn’t quite finish his sentence and grunted as he struggled to find the words. Not needing to hear any more, you finished getting changed into your clothes and went back into the living room, plonking yourself down next to him. 

“Well first off, not cool leaving half way through. But… this is New York so I'm pretty sure she’ll have been on worse dates.” You joked, trying to lighten the mood. Bringing your sock clad feet up onto the couch, you stretched your leg out and prodded the man beside you, prompting him to turn and face you. “You’ll tell him whenever you’re ready. For now though, focus on the positive. You went on a date with a girl…. Regardless of how short said date was” You covered your mouth as you giggled, his eyes rollg only forcing more laughs from you. Taking enough of your teasing, Bucky took action and tossed one of your many cushions towards you, landing squarely in your face knocking you back.

“Dick!” you squealed.

“Brat”

[hargrove-mayfields]

Just A Dream Away

Chapter 1/13 read here on ao3!

my piece for @harringrovebigbang!

Art and moodboard from my amazing team, @monochromegee and @shewritesdirty respectively, to come soon!

~~~~

Six months. Six months and twelve days.

That’s how long Billy has been in the hospital. In a coma. His health rapidly deteriorating.

After one month it was required he be put on a ventilator. Two and his wounds started getting infected. By month three, the hospital asked that a representative be chosen for him, just in case he didn’t pull through.

Neil Hargrove refused. Barked into the receiver something along the lines of, “What do I care if the boy wanted to go and get himself killed?” It was entirely defensive, his voice cracking as he finished his sentence, but the hospital still never contacted him again, not for updates or bills or anything. His wife was far too busy taking care of one grieving child and a lazy husband already to worry about an additional burden.

All of Billy’s extended family was still in California, had written him off years before they’d even left home for Indiana anyways. The moment his mother walked out the door, nobody else wanted him either, so they were off the table too.

The town of Hawkins had been turned inside out by the deaths of more than thirty community members, some of which were still being reported as missing so many months later. Nobody had the time, or in many cases the heart, to take care of the lone survivor.

That left only one person. The one who’d been taking care of him even before he’d fallen into a coma. The one who’d understood him better than anyone else, who’d given him a chance, who’d loved him more than anything.

Steve gets a call from the hospital, the way he is usually woken up these days. Every other morning, as soon as visitation opens, a nurse calls him for a quick update. The duties of a representative for someone unconscious, for his Billy in a coma.

He’s beyond exhausted, dragging himself to and from Hawkins General day in and day out, sometimes bringing Max or a few of the other kids along with him. Mostly because every day is the same thing, walking through the halls, facing the polite smiles from nurses who deal with this on the daily, don’t understand the way it feels to see the one you love on that bed.

If he does hear anything new, it’s usually not good news. He knows Billy is getting worse, but still he sits in that room for countless hours, watching and waiting for the moment he’s struck with a miracle, and he comes back to him.

The hospital is not quite as patient though, and since about month four of Billy’s hospital stay, they’d been encouraging Steve to consider his wards right to die. After so much time had passed by without signs of improvement, the nurses had started hesitating in the doorway when he was around, and offering kind little suggestions that were supposed to push him towards the decision to let Billy go.

Things like, “It’s not really him anymore, honey.” and, “He’s getting worse by the minute, poor thing.”, and Steve’s favorite, the one that made him leave the hospital in tears, “If he wanted to wake up, he would have done it by now.”

But no matter how true what they were saying may have been, Steve really did not want to hear it. The only reason the thought of letting Billy go had ever crossed the minds of doctors and nurses was because of what was on the news, all these up and coming stories about hospital ethics committees that were popping up all over the country recently.

They were being selfish, willing to let Billy die just because they were scared they wouldn’t be able to stand the heat that would come from keeping an eighteen year old boy on life support for as long as they had. Whether or not they actually thought they could save him was a question for another day.

So they would mail Steve countless papers and claims and pamphlets to try to reason with him, to persuade him that the best thing to do was to kill Billy because they didn’t want to deal with him anymore. It made him sick to his stomach, to think that people who were supposedly trained to help people were so hellbent on giving up on a patient.

He wonders sometimes, if they wouldn’t be so hasty to pull the plug had he been an easier case. If his father was more supportive and his biological mother present, or if the government hadn’t worked so hard to cover up the origin of his injuries. Maybe even if his representative was a nice young woman instead.

But there’s nothing he can do about it, so he just crumples the papers and ignores their premature condolences, and goes to visit Billy at every moment he can.

The drive to the hospital that particular morning feels like it takes a whole day instead of the 20 minutes the route actually is, Steve feeling like he’s suspended in time. It doesn’t seem real, taking the stairs up to the second floor, elevators were a no go after the free fall he took at Starcourt, and taking a visitor sticker and a bunch of papers from the woman at the reception desk.

He’s walked this route more times than he can count, but this time he can feel that something is wrong, different. On the top of the very first sheet the desk lady hands him, in bold black letters, are the printed words “Right-to-Die” and Steve already knows what is coming.

The woman gives him a half sympathetic look and reads off her scripted spiel. “The Hargrove boy has been unresponsive for six months now, with no signs of improvement in his condition. The recently instituted hospital ethics board wants you to seriously consider the contents of these forms.”

The words are so hollow, the look on her face mostly bored. Steve guesses this same speech was probably given to a thousand other people who’d come through this hospital, and it makes him feel nauseated just listening to it, her less than genuine pity as she reads off her clipboard, making it seem like she doesn’t even care what she is asking of him.

“It’s of course among your rights as representative to say no, but we want to remind you that he has no quality of life being artificially kept alive, and it might be best to let him go.”

“No, they told me he couldn’t feel anything. He’s not suffering.” Steve insists, and as much as he believes that he is right, the confidence in his voice is false. This was something he’d been thinking about every day for the last half a year. “You’ve kept him alive this long, right? That’s got to mean something.”

“Still, this is about him. We just want you to think about if keeping him alive is the right thing to do anymore when we can’t be sure what he’s going through. When he isn’t himself.”

Of course this was something he’d considered in his own mind, six months is a long time, and it was inevitable that a few times on his worst days, he’d have to think about pulling the plug. It was just so different hearing this nurse who didn’t know Billy insisting on it, it was just so impersonal, and it made him think about the hospital's greed, and how they probably just wanted to save money on ventilators and open up another bed.

Without saying another word to her, Steve walks away without the clipboard of papers, and off to room B-216. Of course he'd known this was coming. They’d been trying to drop hints since the moment Billy stopped being able to breathe on his own, but he’d been in denial. As long as Billy's heart was still beating, Steve had hope that he would recover if the doctors would just try.

Still, as he sits down in the chair next to Billy’s bed, he decides he doesn’t want to call Max today. He takes the desk woman's advice, as angry as it made him, and takes the time to truly reflect on the boy in that bed, with the feeding tube down his throat, the respirator breathing for him beside his bed, the IV in his neck, there because the veins in his arms had been so overused.

His hair is much longer now, just past his collarbones, but without maintenance, his blonde curls are knotted and dull. His skin is unnaturally pale, his freckles faded to nothing, and his whole body is littered with angry, dark red scars. The hole in the center of his chest still isn’t all the way healed, and the nurses are constantly fighting to keep it free of infection.

When he wakes up, they say he will be in immense pain and that he will have forgotten how to walk and talk and probably even breathe on his own. There was a chance too that his memory will have gaps in it, which could mean anything from forgetting what happened to him in July, to not even knowing his own name.

Basically if, no- when he wakes up, he won’t really be Billy.

Steve had always heard about and seen in the movies coma patients who twitch their fingers or moved their eyes, or who really give any signs of life, miraculously waking up and being themselves again, but Billy, he had only done the opposite.

At some point, he has to accept that Billy won’t be like one of those other patients, and, in the condition he is in, all pale skin and open wounds and zero signs of responsiveness, they were only prolonging his death. They had tried just about everything they could thanks to Steve’s willingness to cover the expenses, and, although he didn’t want to believe it, maybe just couldn’t accept it quite yet, it was, as the nurse had said, time to think about letting Billy go.

Not today though. He’d spend today with him at the very least, trying to push those thoughts to the back of his mind while he still could. The nurses used to say, when Billy had first been admitted and they still thought there was a chance of recovery, that Steve and Max, whenever she could come, should try talking to him, and Steve always did.

He never really has a whole lot to say, not since everything has been calming down recently. There were no more funerals to attend, no more grieving families to take a hot dish and his condolences to. The kids didn’t need him to watch them anymore, and Family Video had decided to lay him off until he didn’t have to make daily hospital commutes and he could work again. Basically, Steve’s entire world was Billy.

So it was only fair that Billy was what he usually talked about, reminiscing about everything they’d gotten to do together before the accident, telling him about what was happening with his sister now that she was getting older, and giving him updates on how many days it had been and how much he missed and loved him. One of the nurses had heard him say that once, seen him lean forwards and press a kiss to Billys forehead, but she had only turned away, pretending she hadn’t noticed.

Today though, it was much harder than usual to think of something to say to him. He always tried to leave all of the bad stuff at the door, didn’t think it would do Billy any good if he could even hear, to be listening to him always complaining or moping about their situation, but with death weighing heavy on his mind, what else was there to think about?

The anger and the remorse and the depression would be for when he went home tonight and downed a whole bottle of Fireball, Billy’s favorite whiskey, and called Robin drunk off his ass at two in the morning to tell her about how terrible he felt.

It was because he loved Billy with all of his heart that he wouldn’t put him through that. Even if it hurt more than anything else to see his love broken down and dying, which was, in Steve’s opinion, the worst thing that had ever happened to him, he always wore a smile on his face every day he walked into that hospital room.

As hard as that was, and as guilty as it made him feel to admit, Billy's sickness wasn’t the only thing making Steve miserable. He had also been through some unimaginable things himself while trapped in the Starcourt mall, and he didn't come out the other side the same.

Nightmares plagued him constantly, so that when he would eventually come back home from the hospital, he didn’t sleep more than fifteen minutes through the night. Being alone for too long warped his perception of reality, made him think everyone he knew and loved was gone, that he’d been abandoned or all his friends killed. He would constantly call to check on them, most of the time drunk and panicking, but they’d stopped picking up after the first few times. There were so many triggers too that could send him back to that night in an instant, where he’d just get stuck again.

And perhaps that is exactly why he can’t let Billy go so easily, because even if it is heartbreaking and makes him feel so empty inside being there with a version of his Billy who couldn’t speak to him or who he couldn’t hold, he was still alive. If he died now, Steve would have nothing. It would be no different from the losses everyone had suffered, the death of the chief of police and at least thirty other community members robbing them of their soundness of mind.

Letting go of Billy would just be another blow, to him and to the tight-knit community who had come so close together after the accident that rocked their little town. You wouldn't be able to tell from the fact that his room was always empty except for Steve or his sister, but the papers had revered him as a hero. Who he’d become after being hospitalized meant his death wouldn't just affect loved ones.

But more than any of that, he just didn’t want to give up on him. Pulling the plug meant sacrificing so many more moments they could have together, losing the chance to move on from what had happened. How could Steve ever know when it was the right time to do that?

When was it safe to say that Billy wouldn’t ever recover, and that they were just stretching out the inevitable? When could he feel right in letting his very best friend and the love of his life die? Deep down, past his initial reaction of shock and heartbreak, he knows he’ll never truly be ready to say goodbye, but that now was that time regardless.

Just like the nurses said, he wasn’t really Billy anymore. Who he’d been was a teenage boy with too much energy to burn, always getting into trouble and always in motion, bouncing his knee, twisting the ring on his middle finger or the locket around his neck, chain smoking cigarette after cigarette. It used to drive Steve insane how he wouldn’t sit still for anything, but now he would give anything just to have that back.

There was no personality left in him, no stupid jokes to cheer Steve up, no pestering his sister and her friends like a big brother does, nothing left in him at all that made him distinctly Billy. Steve wondered if maybe he had already given up.

If maybe, Billy wasn’t even in there at all anymore, and they were holding on to nothing just to feed their own selfishness. Steve wasn’t the most emotional of people, usually panicking before he got upset, but he could feel tears pricking at his eyes now, as he watched the slow rise and fall of Billy’s, or not Billy’s, chest, and listened to the beeps and hums of the machines that kept him going.

He knew what needed to be done. Just not today.

For now, he holds Billy's hand, unmoving and just warm enough that he could tell he was alive, and whispered to him anything that came to his mind.

If Billy could hear him, he knew he was probably tired of hearing the same stories over and over, thinking of Billy waking up and complaining about Steve being too boring made him chuckle to himself. An instant pang of regret tightens his chest, feeling guilty for being happy.

There was a really sweet nurse about the age of his mother who always checked in on him at the same time everyday, like he was the one with tubes and machines sticking out of his body. Her name was Dale, and she always peeked her head into the room around meal times to ask if he had been down to the cafeteria yet. Usually he hadn’t, and sometimes he still forgot to eat anyways, but it meant a lot to him.

Today though, she came all the way in the room, a sad look on her face, and he had to avoid her gaze entirely to keep himself from breaking down, choosing instead to focus on Billy’s slender fingers where he’d laced them through his own.

“Steve, honey, I know this is really hard for you, it’s hard for all of us when something like this happens, but you need to take care of yourself.” She was just being kind, but he wouldn’t hear it.

If this was going to be the last full day he’d ever spend with Billy, he was going to make it count. A soggy sandwich in the dingy old cafeteria wasn’t worth spending a single moment away from the other boy's bedside. He feels vaguely guilty about it, but he ignores the well meaning nurse, even as she says her generic condolences that all of them were trained to say.

He smooths out Billy's hair, brushing the part that always hung in his eyes to the side carefully, something Billy himself had always seemed to do when he was nervous. It reminds him of the time they tried to do each other's hair and Billy taught him how to make a braid, so he tells Billy about it.

When he hears the distant roar of a car's engine from the open window, it reminds him of the first time Billy drove him home in the now totaled beyond recognition Camaro, so he talks about that. A bird landing on the windowsill reminds him of sitting on Billy’s bed and talking about the seagulls and the beaches back in California where Billy had grown up, so he tells Billy that story too. The phone ringing at the receptionist's desk down the hallway reminds him of the time Billy had called him in the middle of the night to invite him out to the quarry, where they’d kissed for the first time and Steve clumsily asked him to make things official, so again, he told Billy all about it.

It's mostly a comfort to himself, keeping his mind off of the reality of the situation, but then the desk lady announces over the overhead system that visiting hours are over, and it’s time for him to go.

They had been giving him a lot of leeway here at Hawkins General, allowing him to visit every single day and sometimes with a 14 year old, which was strictly against the rules of the ICU. The end of visiting hours was a rule they always stood by though, and despite how much it crushed him to leave Billy by himself overnight, he always did it.

On his way out, he grabbed the stack of papers the receptionist tried to give him off of her desk. He would call Susan in the morning and ask her what she thought. He would try to involve her in the choice, since she’d technically claimed Billy as her dependent after her marriage to his father, who had given enough verbal and written agreements that he wanted nothing at all to do with his son while he was hospitalized that his wife could, and had, stepped in.

He went home that night with the thought in his head that this was the last time he’d do this, and by this time tomorrow, Billy would be dead.

[lunarfly]

Ok so I decided to finally post the promised: defending Romione (🥺💗💕💖💞💘) against Dr*mione (ಠಿ_ಠ) shippers.

So I've read a few posts about Dr*mione shippers, talking about why their ship is amazing (which had nothing to do with canon btw) and bashing Ron (for no reason) and I'm literally shaking out of anger.

Here are my thoughts:

1. "Ron is too dumb for hermione"

Stop- Just-

Stop.

RON IS NOT DUMB.

Yes, he might not be very interested in school subjects, but 👏 that 👏 doesn't 👏 mean 👏 he 👏 is 👏 dumb 👏.

He is actually very smart! He beat McGonagall's chess game, he is logical and quick-thinking. There's MANY examples of this that I won't name right now, but it's a canonical fact. Ron. Is. Not. Dumb.

And consider he was dumb. So? Would that stop Romione from happening? NO! Hermione didn't mind Ron not being smart. She was just upset that Ron was lazy and wouldn't study anything until the last minute. She wanted to get both Harry and Ron to study according to a schedule.

Is it clear? Intelligence doesn't determine love.

**And this is something that confuses me. This doesn't have anything to do with the point, but why does nobody realize that Harry isn't much smarter than Ron? Yes, he was better at DADA but that requires TALENT, not intelligence. And I'm pretty sure we all know that Ron is talented as well (hopefully everyone realizes that). Nobody uses the fact that Harry wasn't intelligent against Harmione, but everyone uses the fact that Ron wasn't intelligent against Romione. The double standards tear apart the fandom.

2. "Ron bought hermione perfume and Draco could get her something better."

Soooo, you're saying that just because Ron didn't have the money that Draco had means that Hermione didn't deserve Ron?

Wow, this just says a lot about you dr*mione shippers. You only care about the money that Draco has, not his personality. You don't like Ron because he's poor (and I know how FanFics give the "kind Draco" Ron's canon personality so the only "problem" with Ron is his looks and lack of money). And you don't see Hermione nor Ron the way they are. This "point" of yours is literally stating that Hermione should be a gold-digger and get Draco because he can get her the expensive presents that she deserves. Yikes.

3. "Draco can understand the emotional side of Hermione while Ron can't."

Wait

What?

WHERE DO YOU GET THIS IDEA FROM-

Draco is only EVER concerned about his own self, he is a NARCISSIST. He would NEVER care for someone (let alone Hermione) as purely and truly as he cared about himself. He didn't even care about Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson etc. He was selfish. The only reason he could express his emotions was because he had to go through a lot since he realized that killing Dumbledore wasn't as easy as bullying Hermione. This would never ever work.

And even if Ron didn't understand her as much, he STILL comforted her. Take the beginning chapters of The Deathly Hallows as an example. You'll see.

4. "Ron is too immature."

I need help.

Of course Ron was immature when he was 11!! Yes, he acted immaturely many times, yes, he made many mistakes, but guess what? He changed! He changed for Hermione!! Draco didn't change at all, not for Hermione, nor for anyone else. He remained the same bratty bully.

If you could reread the books and read prisoner of azkaban vs deathly hallows, you will definitely see how much Ron has matured. He doesn't argue with Hermione anymore, he comforts her, he's there for her. Yes, he made a mistake but he was manipulated by the horcrux! We don't blame Ginny for what tom riddle's diary made her do, do we? So stop blaming Ron!

Anyways, I think if dr*mione shippers have read the books, they'll know what I'm talking about when I say Ron changed for Hermione. I honestly don't know how you could miss Ron's character arc.

5. "Ron would be jealous of the brilliant Hermione."

What?

If I remember correctly, the reason Draco bullied the trio was because he was jealous of them. His jealousy turned into a 7 year torture for the trio and now you're saying that Ron is the jealous one? Please.

But anyways, Ron has been jealous of Harry and has made a few mistakes. But there are reasons behind them and I can defend him for each of these with arguments other than "everyone makes mistakes" (cough cough* Draco stans* cough cough).

First of all, Ron has admitted being jealous of Harry's fame because he lives with 5 older brothers who outshine him. But that's not really a mistake because he never let it get in his way. There were only 2 situations in 7 years when he left Harry out of jealousy but I think these have different explainations.

No1 Ron left in goblet of fire. I think the real reason that Ron let his jealousy get in his way this time, was not only because Harry got to participate in the tournament which could bring him eternal glory, but more likely because he was disappointed that his own best friend didn't even tell him that he was entering and didn't even help him participate (which wasn't true, but Ron thought so back then).

No2 Ron left in deathly hallows. This one was 100% because of the horcrux and I think we should all accept this by now and stop hating on Ron for being affected by dark magic.

And just like that, Ron never let his jealousy get in his way of friendships. I can't think of a situation where Ron is jealous of the brilliant Hermione so if you remember, please let me know so I can argue against it. <3

6. "Ron and Hermione would break up and remain friends, it's easy to imagine because they didn't have a strong relationship."

This was actually said, someone actually said this-

I'm just going to say that Ron and Hermione are happily married to this day (which definitely proves that their relationship is strong) and give the dr*mione community a moment of silence.

7. "Ron didn't do anything for Hermione and was just a jerk."

Coming from a person who has read and reread the books multiple times, I can assure you that Ron did many things for Hermione.

Of course, he was immature at first, he was mean to her, but slowly he started seeing more of the good in Hermione and started changing for her.

And even when he was immature, he still cared about Hermione and would protect her no matter what.

Let's remember how many times rubbish Ron stood up for Hermione against the brilliant bully Draco. 🥰

Let's remember how cowardly Ronald faced his fears of spiders to help Hermione (and the rest of the school, just how jerkier can he get?). 🥰

Let's remember how ridiculous Ronniekins stood up for Hermione against sensational Snape and got himself into detention (oh yes, this is the book version of the movie moment where Ron agrees with Snape about Hermione being an 'insufferable know-it-all'). 🥰

Let's remember how rotten Ronny comforted Hermione when she was worried about Hagrid and Buckbeak (and he even let her hug him and cry on his shoulder, how rude). 🥰

Let's remember how revolting Ronald sacrificed himself to save Harry and Hermione in the chess game. 🥰

Let's remember how horrendous Ron attempted to hex Draco when he used a slur that was meant to offend Hermione. 🥰

Keep in mind that all of these were done when Ron was still immature and still argued a lot with Hermione.

And these aren't even all.

8. "Ron and Hermione have a loveless marriage."

What the-

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be respectful here but this is crap. And the fact that the person said they also had "proof" from the c*rsed ch*ld but didn't want to spoil it-

As much as I hate the c*rsed ch*ld, I can tell you that it did its job portraying Ron and Hermione's unconditional love. Even in alternative realities, where they didn't get married, they were still in love.

And why would you even think that Ron and Hermione would marry and have kids if they didn't love each other? I need explainations.

Next.

9. "Ron never listens to Hermione."

I'm sorry, what? I'm genuinely confused??

What do you even mean by this? Yeah, they used to argue a lot, and? Ron thinks Hermione is brilliant and wonderful and he follows her advice. I can't recall a moment where Ron won't listen to Hermione, doesn't agree with her and ruins her plans. Anyone else?

Since this one is a big mess and a confusion, I'll move on to the next one until someone explains the points and arguments.

10. "Draco could make Hermione laugh while Ron couldn't."

....

Do I really need to say anything for this one?

Ron was the funniest one from the trio, that's why Harry enjoyed his company so much! Don't you remember the line in goblet of fire where Harry thinks about how much he misses having Ron as his best friend, because without him there's less fun and less laughs? I do.

But what I don't remember is finding Draco's sense of humor funny. I'm sorry but his intellectual level is almost as low as Crabbe and Goyle's. His insults are none other than Potty and Weaselbee, he only got 3 O.W.L.s and all of his jokes were stupid and dumb and their only purpose was insulting people he was jealous of.

These fanfics have rotten people's brains...😬

Anyways, I'm going to stop here. I've delayed this post for very long and I'm so excited to finally post it!

I read a book on wattpad by a dr*mione shipper and it was nothing but a giant headache. That's where I got all of these statements from. Most of the garbage in the book revolved around Draco and Hermione being inseparable and getting over all obstacles (wth) and other stupid stuff like that which really annoyed me. The book was called "why we love dr*mione" and it was by Bittenwizard. You can read and enjoy! Trust me, you'll have lots of content to post about after that 🤠👍

*I always try to be respectful to all ships, but sometimes some of them really anger me because the ships are either toxic or the arguments are plain trash. I'm sorry if I offend anyone.

Thank you for reading this. If you're a dr*mione shipper, I hope I've convinced you to give up the ship or come up with better arguments for it.

If you're an anti-dramione I hope you enjoyed the post. I'll delight you with more anti-toxic-ships content. :)

Thank you once again! <3

[dayurno]

under the cut is the kandrew throw down of the year™ aka my attempt at reasoning the ch*king scene in therapeutic context. the events in this happen in betsy’s office, on the grounds that andrew asked her to fix them a few weeks after canon. could probably be the kickstarter for a kandreil fic but who knows. i sure don’t

tw: discussions of abuse, choking, kevin flipping his shit (aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you just want to go apeshit?)

"You’re a spineless, despicable, selfish, obsessed and self-righteous person—” Andrew starts, a tinge of anger simmering under his words. It’s almost dangerous, but Kevin knew Betsy would throw Andrew out of his room if he tried solving this with his fists. 

Maybe it’s that safety that has Kevin cutting him off, perhaps just as viciously, “You are a man,” he says, pointing a finger in Andrew’s direction. “You are an average, lazy, boring, cowardly, success-fearing man. You have potential and you waste it. You think feeling nothing makes you have the upper hand, but that makes you average. It makes you so-so; irrelevant; not special. You settle because you’re a coward.” He takes a deep breath. “You think violence makes you a man. It does not. It makes you a petulant child with knives.”

“Not so spineless after all,” Andrew snarls, a cold fury settling all over him and tightening his muscles into unbearable tension, as if he was about to snap. 

Kevin does not find fear when he looks for it; most of all, he’s tired. He’s tired of Andrew’s leash and how short it is, he’s tired of pulling at his teeth, he’s tired of up-keeping a deal with a man who did not keep his word in the first place. “Do better, then. Stop acting like a child and do better. You can’t like me if you tried and I’m getting tired of pulling at your teeth.”

“Andrew,” Betsy interrupts before Andrew can —  most likely —  launch himself onto Kevin, “what do you think? How does that make you feel?”

He stares at her fixedly, avoiding Kevin as if he weren’t there. “I think that I want him out.”

She considers it for a second, then says, “No. I can’t let him leave, Andrew. This is the root of all your issues with each other, and you’ve asked me to fix you two. Let me help.”

Andrew takes a long, shuddering breath, so deep Kevin’s own lungs hurt as he follows it. Inhale; exhale. They do it as parallel lines, eyes pointedly away from each other. “I think,” he roughly replies, “that Kevin could simply go back to the Ravens if he wants someone that gets off to Exy as much as he does.”

“Oh, because that’s so mature,” Kevin fumes, at once the forest fire and the leftover ashes. “It’s so easy for you to throw other peoples’ abuse around, isn’t it? Andrew gets to have boundaries, Andrew gets to keep secrets, but God helps anyone who wants to do the same. No one can touch you, but you can hurt people however you want without a single care for the consequences. Doesn’t sound very fucking healthy to me, Andrew. It sounds like someone I know and you won’t like to hear who it is.”

Andrew’s gaze is stone cold. Kevin would shiver if he wasn’t so deep within the flames, and then again —  he's seen worse. If Kevin survived Riko Moriyama, he'll survive anyone.

 “Say it,” Andrew demands. “I dare you. Say it.”

“I don’t fucking do what you tell me to do,” Kevin snaps, struggling to keep his voice down. “I’m not your fucking pet, Andrew. Obedience under the coercion of a knife is not the choice you think you’re giving me.”  

“Is that how you feel?” Andrew asks, dead gazed. His lips are chapped and his hands are balled into fists; shaking with the strength it takes him to hold himself back from giving Kevin another necklace of bruises. “You were not forced to strike a deal with me. You did it out of your own volition. Do not speak of things you do not understand because you want to lash out at me.”

“He thinks I don’t understand what it’s like to not have a choice,” Kevin laughs, a cynical sound choked out of his throat. “Oh, aren’t you farsighted. Before I got out of the Nest, saying ‘no’ to someone was not even in question, Andrew. There are things I still need spelled out for me because I don’t know what it’s like to have personal fucking boundaries. When you choked me, I,” at this point Kevin’s hands are trembling at the same violent rhythm Andrew’s are, though a part of him —  untainted and scared; perpetual in its adolescence —  still thrashes at his insides at the mere thought of arguing back, biting back. “I didn’t even know. I didn’t know that wasn’t a thing you should be allowed to do. I didn’t have a name for that. All I thought was that I was submitted to you, and that it was right, and that I was paying for keeping something from you. I didn’t know and you did it anyways. You took advantage of me.”

Andrew’s entire body tenses up. “I didn’t. I didn’t. If you say something like that again, I’ll kill you.”

“Then be it,” Kevin replies, leaning back against the chair with a slump of his shoulders. “Kill me. Do it. Finish the job you started. Live with yourself afterwards. Live your sad, average, miserable life and feel free to tell me if it’s worth it in the end.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Betsy holds her palm up in a quieting motion, looking only slightly tipped off by Kevin’s blowout. It was probably the last thing he’d ever say to Andrew —  probably the last thing he’d say at all, if Andrew’s murderous wishes were to be fulfilled —  and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. “That’s enough, you two. Kevin, do you understand how heavy of an implication that is? You cannot take it back. You know Andrew’s issues with being taken advantage of.”

“But isn’t it, doctor? Isn’t it being taken advantage of?” Kevin spits out, “Isn’t it taking advantage of someone to hurt them from a position of power, thus rendering them unable to defend themselves? I think it is. I think I won’t allow him to make me seem crazy for being angry.”

Betsy blinks for a few seconds, searching for Andrew’s eyes. Andrew, on the other hand, is perfectly still, frozen from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. There is no pride in Kevin to have made him like that —  there is only tiredness, so deep it settles in his bones. His bones; the place he knows Andrew the best in. Kevin sighs, “I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to. But I can’t do that with you using me as your punch bag because you know I won’t hit back, Andrew. I can’t do that.”

“I did not mean to,” Andrew says in a whisper, almost a prayer. “I did not mean to.”

“Andrew,” Betsy calls, her tone unwavering, “breathe. Breathe. You can’t fix this if you’re having a panic attack. You’re with me, you know this. You’re in my office at Palmetto State University. You are safe. You are having a joint session with Kevin.”

“I did not mean to hurt you,” Andrew repeats, and it’s the most vulnerable Kevin has ever seen him. Something in his chest recoils sadly at the sight. “I did not mean to take advantage of you. I was just—  Neil—  I lost control.”

Kevin purses his lips, allowing his bruising heartbeat to will down. “I know you didn’t mean to be cruel. That doesn’t mean you were kind.”

“Okay,” the therapist sighs, adjusting her glasses. “Okay. Andrew, I don’t think Kevin shouldn’t be allowed to manifest his anger in a controlled environment. You hurt him in a way that hindered his own recovery, and triggered memories of his own abuse. You did not mean to bring those memories back, but it has happened all the same. Kevin, do you think this could be fixed?”

He wets his lips, gently thumbing along the skin of his throat where sickly yellow, green and purple bruises were only a few weeks ago. Andrew follows his movements almost obsessively, and something glossy shimmers under the layer of apathy Kevin knows too well; guilt. Self-loathing. Kevin huffs a soft sound, and answers honestly, “I don’t know if I can forgive it in a way that’s healthy.”

She nods. “Thank you for your honesty. Andrew, do you think there is anything you could do to make it up for him?”

Andrew exhales shakily. “He could hit back.”

Betsy frowns, but Kevin beats her to whatever she was going to say by uttering, “No. I won’t put my hands on you.”

It makes Andrew offer him a weird look, though he’s still far, far away, the guilt now a lot more emptier; cotton-white. He looks speechless, so Kevin completes it for him: “I’m not like them. I’m not like…” like you, he wants to say, but wills it away; it would be too cruel. “I’m not going to hit back. I just want… I don’t know, Andrew. I don’t know what you want me to do and I’m tired of having no choice. I'm tired of having the yes choked out of me.”

“I will make it up to you.” Andrew steadies his gaze onto Kevin’s face, gripping the armrest of his chair until his already pale knuckles turn white. It sounds like a promise. “I will make it up to you. You have my word.”

It doesn’t mean much to me right now, Kevin wants to say. Instead, he answers, “Okay,” because really, what else is there to do? Andrew’s word is the best he can offer. There is nothing else he can promise and not even Exy can mend —  whatever this is. Whatever Andrew has made of them. 

“Is there anything else you want to say, Kevin?” Betsy asks, gently, her words a feathery touch skimming down the side of his face. 

Kevin doesn’t answer, staring directly at Andrew, wishing that he could at least hold his gaze for a second, a minute, a lifetime —  enough that Kevin could peel back the years of apathy from him like jackets, meeting Andrew, for once, in all of his mess the same way he has met Kevin’s messes one too many times. “Yes,” he says, and Andrew snaps his gaze towards Kevin with something too akin to shame for it to be any comfort. Still, Kevin holds it like it’s a prize, challenges him, tells him something Andrew might have not believed until now: I am unbreaking. “Wash that look out of your face. It’s a waste of blood and sweat, and I won’t have it in my life or in my Court. You cannot break me. I am angry at you because you tried when you were supposed to have my back.”

“I know,” Andrew answers, his grief razor-sharp and stupefying. “I will not be like them. I will not be like him. I will make it up to you.”

“Good,” Kevin tells him, crossing his arms and baring his teeth. “I’m expensive to keep.”

Betsy looks like she wants to interrupt their relentless stare down; Kevin’s muddy green meeting Andrew’s forest fire hazel, a battle of wills years in the making. Kevin might not hit back outside of Court, but he does not pull away —  he is not the man to do it. If it aches in Andrew, then it should ache and ache and ache, until it balances out the pain he caused; until he rots into something new.

He is just a boy, barely a man, a shadow of what someone with such unrelenting morality should be and act like. Kevin looks at him —  really looks at him, no bias clogging his mind, and what he sees is what he’s always seen; a boy. 

Leave it to the rest of the team to mistake Andrew Minyard for a hero or a villain. Their eyesight is filtered through their own self-beliefs, their opinions are based on their inability to believe others have the same nuance and complexity they believe themselves to have. Kevin Day, though —  he has always had perfectly sharp vision, and he cannot be fooled by sharp knives and dead eyed gazes. He came from men much worse; he sat with the horrors of the world, unflinchingly, long before Andrew did.

If Andrew could only be what he pretends he is.

[minahoeshi]

to be yours and you, mine.

Kuroo Tetsurō x reader | just pure angst. so much angst.

warning: major character death

prelude: the end lets its presence be known before it comes around. At times, that sense of awareness feels like a blessing. But with you and Tetsurou, the reminder of what soon will come can only hurt you even further. Because mankind has never been powerful enough to do anything against so many things. We have always been weak in the face of nature. especially against the passage of time and all the things it keeps taking from us.

It's almost odd how the world changed when you realised what the moments of silence has reduced your relationship into. How, when you finally acknowledged the fact that perhaps the end of a prolonged short story is nearer than you'd rather believe, a filter seemed to slip off of the camera, along with the vibrance you never realised was raised too high. It's not like the frames suddenly are less colourful. It's just that the tinges of blue in the shadows and highlights have made themselves more obvious, like a sign waiting for you to conclude things yourself.

Maybe it's because it's the new years and new beginnings just seem so scary. Or maybe it's the ice in the air, or the meteorologist on the television announcing that it's 7°C that morning that makes the lack of warmth between you and him more unbearable. But you wake up to the silence of the world, not even the birds are around to fuss above your house. To the empty space beside you, a reminder of his message three days ago.

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

I'm staying with my family this new year. Okaa-san thinks I need to spend 'the end of the year and the beginning of a new one with those that made such days possible for me'. You know, her usual line to remind me of their importance. Miss you.

Let's video call on new year's eve, yeah?

received 9:26

He did call you last night. Not the video call he promised, but a voice call on Line. But you didn't answer. If he asked why, you would've told him you were with your friends in a shrine celebrating new years with prayers for a better future for one another, drinking sake, and walking the streets of Shibuya with your girls and gays and the one guy friend that everyone wonders how he ended up in the group.

It didn't hurt that he only called you once and never tried again. It didn't hurt that he didn't ask why. But fuck was it painful to hear the voicemail.

"Happy new year, Y/N san. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be there with you, I promise. I love you. So much."

It's scary and painful how his voice seemed to waver. How it was shaky and devoid of his usual timbre, a ghost of what once was a joking and rarely serious tone that took light of most situations. His voice that you loved so much, absent because maybe he knew too.

Maybe he was aware that no saving can be done to bring forth the past as if it was the present. To rebuild the broken and to remind you both of what you had all these years. To you and him, the signs couldn't be more obvious. When the world crumbles, you don't save it. You kiss it goodbye and go on to search for a new one. One that won't break with you in it. (but you know you won't search. you never do.)

You spend the next hours awake. The consciousness, unwanted. You want so much to just fall down as if the darkness can just swallow you and you'd be happier in it. In silence, you might feel better.

But you can't help the way your brain works. You bask in the reminiscing, the present disappearing before you until it's the past that owns you.

It's not the memories that grabs hold of you but him in his entirety. You cry because you will miss all that he is. The lazy tone he uses when he feels comfortable beside you on the couch. The humour he finds in everything, even in chemistry which is crazy because nothing about chemistry is comical. The messy hair he refuses to tame because he loses his identity, a piece of him, his pride and legacy when his hair looks neat. You'll miss his hand on your back when you're walking outdoors, his iced coffee with a secret ingredient that is probably not really a secret, his hugs when you feel yourself falling in the deep hole of misery, his excitement when he speaks of volleyball, his pride when he talks about his achievements, his— all of him. You'll miss all of him. Too much.

Kuroo spends the car ride thinking of you. Reminding himself to remind you of all that you must remember. To hold your hand tight for as long as he can until he can't.

He reminds himself of the things he love so much about you. Of your unequaled patience and trust in him. Of your ability to strip him of all his bad so that he can only see his good. Of your laughter when he speaks of his day as comically as possible. Of the mornings he wakes up beside you. Of your— everything. All that you are.

Because as the car nears your house, he feels himself crumble. Because he just knows what is about to come. So he must keep in him all your good and bad to be grounded. To stay long enough.

Kuroo stays in the car and stared at the door. The door that opens slowly and reveals you in your scarf and windbreaker. Beautiful. You in all your tear-stained glory, your nose and ears red. He stares as you step into the snow and approach him. He stares as you knock on the window.

And so he opens the door.

You break again the moment you see him. You wish to be strong for him. He doesn't deserve your sadness and weakness but he told you to let yourself be. That your tears are better seen than hidden. Because it helps him and you know how you are feeling. So that he doesn't have to walk around eggshells because you both expose all your vulnerability to one another.

So you fall on his knees. You dont wait for him to get out. You cry on his lap and you know he cried with you. You fall apart together. The same way you built each other to be whoever you two are today, you both break each other.

You say, Testu. Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu. He says it's fine, he's fine. He leans and kisses your head and you cry more the same way he does as he hugs you from above. I'm sorry, you say. I should've answered your call, you say.

But I was scared. I was too scared.

And you both know. You fear the same thing. Because as Kuroo is placed on his wheelchair with your help and Kenma's who has been with you two since the very beginning. He leaves both of you because he knows that's what's best. He gives Kuroo a hug before he drives away.

He's bone-thin. Dark bags under his eyes, cheekbones too visible, lips too pale— tired. He looked more tired than three days ago, before he suddenly disappeared that day and you felt too much pain because was he gonna leave you that way? Was he not gonna be with you until the very last of everything?

You were thankful he texted you that night. Because you would've gone crazy with all your thoughts. You understood why he had to go home. His family needed him and he needed them. You couldn't be selfish.

That night, you spend hours on your bed with Kuroo. He didn't need the morphine, he tells you. He's okay. But his breathing is ragged and he's sweating. He can't move without hurting. But you don't give him painkillers because he told you so. So instead, you kiss him. You kiss him and tell him you love him. You tell him you were happiest with him. He doesn't talk much. But the last he said before you both slept was, "I love you too. More than anything and everything. I love you."

The next morning, you cry harder. This time, all by yourself. Tetsutetsutetsutetsutetsutetsu. He never responds.

You cry harder.

But at the very least, he was still holding your hand.

-

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Science is yet to prove the existence of reincarnation so instead of pinning everything on it, I'd rather appreciate this one life I spent loving you. Because there's no other way for me to have lived than to be yours and you mine. This one life is enough for the universe to understand that we are eternity, you and me. Forever.

I love you. I know you love me too.

2:09 am

You

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

5:27 am

-

Okaa-san - mother

Tetsu - nickname for Kuroo from his first name, Tetsuro. In Japan, cute nicknames are more common than endearments like honey or love.

Shibuya - a city or special ward in the prefecture, Tokyo.

Sake - Japanese alcohol made of rice and other ingredients.

Line - most used messaging app in Japan.

Thanks for reading!

[magicalfxgirl]

LO characters sorted into Hogwarts houses Part 3

Part 3 is where all the gods who are related directly and or I had to find a place to put them for the sake of the blog. All these gods also live in Olympus thus here are with Part 3 of the characters of LO sorted in their respective houses. So without furthur a do, let's begin. Bewarned this blog was first posted on Amino. I just thought why not post it here.

🎓Athena🎓

All I have to say is that Athena is Hufflepuff with Ravenclaw energy. It does not need any explaination, its just makes sense.

Hestia: The Secrect Slytherin

Hestia maybe the most unproblematic god in the original greeks myths, but in Lore Olympus that could not be furthur from the truth. She may look like the LO version of Helga Hufflepuff, but that could not be furthur from the truth. She is controling towards the membetrs of TGOEM, for example getting mad at Persephone for interacting with Hades without when he is literally her boss and she is an adult. Blaming Persephone for the tabliod once again Persephone was literally druged and woke up there. Also wasn't Artemis supposed to be watching her so where was she. Hestia is obcessed with appearences of her organization. She will also do anything to get funding for it, welcoming Hades in when there was a chance at his bank account after lecturing Kore against him. In truth Hestia feels like a woman set in the old ways of propriety believing women should remain pure. Frankly TGOEM seems like her way to push her own outdated agenda under the facade of being a progressive femnist group. Her narcissm made her okay with Demeter forcing Kore into TGOEM even though it was the girls only option to escape her controling mother. Instead of being a supportive mother figure Hestia used Kore's situation for her own gain and to get control over the young goddess. Hestia's gentle appearance hides a narcistic controling manipulative hag. Her actions and personality fit perfectly with Slytherin. As she does whatever to get what she wants, is stuck in the oldways. Hestia is LO's version Dolores Umbridge, they appear to be sweet , but inside they are cruel and selfish. For these reasons Hestia would shock everyone when the Sorting Hat, shouted Slytherin the moment it landed on her head.

🏹Artemis: The Broken Gryffindor

Artemis was a easy choice, she is a Gryffindor. She is rash to act even if she does not know all the facts. Artemis also is blind to those closest to her who mean harm. Cough Asspollo. Cough Peter Petigrew. She tries her best and has chilvarious nature. The only Gryffindor trait she lacks is the ability to break the rules. Although that may have to do with her childhood. Even without being Zeus's daughter it seems that sibling dynamic from the myths is still in play. That could mean she had the same early life where right after her birth she had to help her mom get through the birth of Asspollo. In order to make things easier on everybody she tries to be perfect. She has tried so hard to be perfect that she neglects the world around her. Something many a Gryffindor have had to also faced. In the end of the day Artemis is person who is trying to be a good person, but is crippled due to wanting fullfill others expectation. TGOEM in many ways has broken Artemis making her a shell of the godess she should. Hopefully at the end of the story Artemis will start an organization with Persephone to help other girls achieve their dreams.

Hermes: The Prankster Gryffindor

Hermes was the easiest decision ever as he is what would happen if either Fred or George Weasely became a god. Full of energy, the life of the party, while also being a bit reckless. Hermes is a Gryffindor through and through. He looks nice, but hurt his friends and he will make you pay. Some people may think he only wants to keep Persephone's secrect due to fearing Demeter's wrath or being punished by Hades for fuding the record. The fact is Hermes has put himself in danger in order to hang out with her. Case in point nearly drowned while hiding in lake from Demeter while hanging out with Kore. He only took the money as you don't refuse Demeter. Overall Hermes is an example of a natural Gryffindor. Also for those who thought he was a Hufflepuff he is way to lazy. He might me the messenger of the gods, but he avoids work as much as Neville avoided Snape. Hermes is also a rule breaker a common trait among Gryffindor as he is the god of Theives. He also seems to manage to get lucky whenever trouble comes. No different from his house manages to win the House Cup despite all points taken away due to rule breaking.

Hephaestus The Innovator

Hephaestus would be a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. As Hufflepuff excepts all, which would give him the needed support. Still its Ravenclaw that the Sorting Hat would eventually choose for him. Frankly Hephaestus would doubt his placement in Ravenclaw, but based on his love for his craft it would be the place where he could truely succeed. He is inventor, literally building mutiple robots in the original mythology. They may not be called robots, but they were robots. Beings made of metal that could work on their own, thus robots. Magical robots, but still robots. His professors may not understand his craft at first, but after seeing his results he would be praised by all. Although only after making sure it was not a new form of Dark Magic. Hephaestus would be viewed a vissionary and would make Head boy upon his secound year. Becoming the youngest person to get the title, yet all of his housemates would think it well deserved. Maybe starting his own area of magic study. As his form would mix magic with smithery and technology. Bringing the Magical World into a modern age. Overall Hephaetus is a Ravenclaw with some Hufflepuff.

Asspollo: Expelled and sent to Azkaban

He would be expelled for misuse of magic and will likely end up in Azkaban for evil acts. All of it done the moment he got his wand. Asspollo did not even make through the doors of Hogwarts thus was never sorted into a house. He spends the rest of his days trying to avoid the Dementor's kiss and the rest of the world moves on.

Conclusion

Sorry about the Hestia rant, but it only jusy hit me how evil she really is. Kore left one controling figure for another. Despite the results of living with Artemis, things would have been way worse if she had been living with Hestia. One she would have never met hades. Two Hestia would have prevented her from any friendships outside of TGOEM, thus no Hermes or Eros. Frankly Hestia would have led to Kore having an even bigger break down then what happened with Earth. An event I don't think Kore would ever come out of. Thank you so much for your time and I hope you agreed with my choices. Next up is the shortest section as it focuses on the Nymphs along with two notable side characters who are not nymphs. Lastly no Echo as she has not done anything yet. Oh and I decieded to add one more part to this series, the pets of Olympus and their Dogwarts houses. Sorry I had to make the pun. As always I hope you enjoyed part 3 of this blog series.