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kiame-sama · 2 days ago

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Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x Fem!Reader) Monster AU pt 15

(Painting done by @Sugar-sprinkles Thank you again for the fan art, I love it!)

Warnings; nightmares, comfort after nightmares, communal grooming, blood for the blood gods attitude, grudges, breakfast, let him cook, new technology, Dragon, Vampire Bat, Raiju, Cervitaur, Hellcat, Shinigami, Gnoll,

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The pleasant electric purple sky swirled above you, rolling with fluffy clouds of shadows bathed in pastels. Green fireflies surrounding you as you lay back on a vast blanket in some forgotten field that faced the setting sun at a wonderful angle to view. Delicate glass flowers swayed, the surface of the glass moving organically as if they were fluid.

Around you countless colors gleamed in the gentle light and warm rays of the red sun set. A soft warm breeze skated across your skin despite the fading light and lowering temperature heralding the arrival of night. Stars dotted in the darkening sky and you noticed the various colors they all seemed to have. Beautiful poisonous purples, handsome prideful golds, rosey blood reds, pearly selfish whites, royal electric greens, intelligent underworld blues, cunning clueless maroons. They danced and moved above you the same way the fireflies leaped around and hummed.

You know better than to be alone.

What?

Where's Malleus?

He didn't seem to be lying with you, or any of the hoard for that matter. Actually, where was everyone? You were well and truly alone in a field. This isn't your home. None of this is familiar.

The stars faded away suddenly, one by one flickering out of sight as the light of the sun faded to darkness. The woods on the edge of the field seemed so much closer now, whispering and moving shadows among the trees with glowing eyes that stared.

Only the light of the fireflies remained, eyes glowing a reflective green in the dark. A snarling growl splits the air followed by a howl from behind you. All around there is barks and flashes of teeth in the dark.

They drew closer as the fireflies dimmed. Your heart seizing as the light seemed to keep them at bay.

'Wait!'

Your voice was soundless as you tried to call to the fireflies to stay, trying to scream but unable to.

'Come back!'

The lights dimmed further as the Wolves circled round and gnashed their teeth. The largest and more scar covered one lunged as the fireflies went out.

All you heard was Grim crying out your name.

~•§•~

Eyes snapped open as you startled awake, a familiar pair of green eyes observing as you awoke. Malleus was watching you with a worried gaze in the dark room, his thin brows drawn together in concern as you somewhat struggled upon waking. You had been sharing a blanket with the Dragon when you fell asleep, so naturally it was the Dragon who woke you.

"You're safe, my Child of Man. It was just a dream."

You didn't realize you were crying until he used his thumb to wipe away your tears. In your chest, your heart beat frantically as you tried to understand where you were and what happened. Slowly you realized that you were safe in the nest with Malleus by your side. Lilia sat awake and watched you with a concerned gaze, his eyes fixed on how disoriented you were.

"Just a dream."

As you calmed somewhat from your fear, you were still disoriented from your nightmare and another almost irrational concern overcame you.

"Why do you never call me by my name?"

"What?"

"My name. You never say my name. Why do you hate it?"

"I don't-"

"Then why?"

Malleus seemed caught off guard by your sudden sensitivity to his usual way of addressing you, trying to calm you once more. When you didn't calm down and only teared up again he worriedly pulled you close to him, laying his wing over you and holding you against his chest. His tail curled over your side and held you close to the Dragon.

"I apologize, my- (Y/n). I didn't know it upset you."

His dark lips pressed against your forehead and the Dragon held you in place against his chest, "I won't call you 'Child of Man' again. I will only call you by your name."

"So you don't hate my name?"

"No. I don't hate your name."

Though Malleus was vaguely concerned how upset you were over what- to him- was an irrational worry of yours, he was content to soothe you. Whatever you had been dreaming about clearly upset you to your core and it fueled your almost hazed perception from interrupted rest. The Dragon was a decent enough source of comfort to you and it helped pull you back into the realm of sleep.

As you lay in his arms and slowly calmed, your eyes started to close again as your heart soothed to a soft lull in your chest. Malleus used his own magic to pull you faster into the arms of pleasant dreams, but you still mumbled out your concerns to the bemused Dragon.

"You don't hate me, right?"

"I don't think I could ever hate you, (Y/n)."

"And you won't leave me to those Wolves?"

"What Wolves?"

"The ones in my sleep... The ones that chase me when the fireflies go out."

Malleus paused, vaguely upset that you had clearly been having nightmares. It hurt him to know the Poachers that attacked you stalked you in your sleep. He could remove them from life, but to remove them from your dreams would be harder. Luckily for you, Malleus was adept at manipulating dreams.

"I won't let them get you. I promise."

You hummed, mostly back into that in-between state of awareness, your mind slowly slipping off into slumber. A faint green light met your eyelids as you fully succumbed back into rest, dreams now of a far more peaceful nature. The great Dragon remained by your side, in your dreams and out of them as he marveled at the soft feel of your figure laying in his embrace.

His greatest treasure.

"Malleus."

"Yes, Lilia?"

"You asked why I wasn't displeased you chose a short lived creature as your desired mate. That is because she doesn't have to live such a short life if you are willing to extend it. So long as you protect her, she can live as long as you do, and never succumb to age."

"How?"

"Let me teach you a valuable lesson, as it had been taught to me by your grandmother. Only a dragon can truly perfect it, but it means neither of us have to live in worry of her age taking her away."

~•§•~

You woke again with the usual hoard among you, Malleus still holding his position next to you and your nightmare long forgotten. It seemed to you that he was being more protective than usual and you worried for your own peace. The Dragon's behavior towards you was much more stringent due to your injury and your repeated exacerbation of that injury. He was now ensuring you healed, going as far as insisting on accompanying you, Silver, and Ortho for the day to make certain you didn't stand without help.

Luckily, you weren't going to classes today because it was the day the various representatives and scientists arrived to evaluate your wellbeing. The threat of being taken from your established norm in this world of madness unsettled you. Honestly, you had worked hard to create a sense of normalcy quite quickly given the circumstances and still you had very little time to relax without threat. Maybe today would be a good test of the bonds you had made.

Truth was, you were angry and upset and just trying to survive in a world built against you. Cater was a damned idiot for revealing you were at NRC and you paid the price for his lack of awareness and discretion. Leona threatened you and you knew even then that you didn't stand a genuine chance if you lashed out. You held your anger in well but you wanted to yell and snap at the tactless men around you that invited themselves into your space.

Even with all that rage, the brush with the Poachers taught you something important. As it was right now, you didn't stand a chance on your own in this world of beasts. In the beginning it felt like the Dragon took you in far too quickly, the rest in the Hoard following suit. The more time you spend among them the more you began to realize everyone in this world acted this way. This was normal to them. The strongest chose who they wanted and the others just had to accept it.

If there was a chance you could escape this world, it would be where you fell into it in the first place. You couldn't tell any of the monster men, however. Knowing what could await the Humans back in your world if the monsters ever knew how to get to them, it was better to try and slip away without any of them knowing. You figured your way home was probably linked to the Hall of Mirrors. The Hall of Mirrors was only in Night Raven College, however. If you got taken away, you would never have the chance to return home.

Malleus swore to help you relax before you were to meet the monsters that no doubt wanted to study you like a lab-rat. If Idia was right, one of them wanted to kill you as well. Your only chance in this world was to ensure the monsters that were fond of you stayed fond of you. That didn't seem too difficult a task, but that meant you needed to ensure you kept your temper contained so that safety net did not abandon you. On top of your health and safety, there was the health and safety of Grim. He needed your protection and you needed the protection of the monster men.

At least you made considerably strong allies. Two of the strongest in the world were enamored by you- one seeming more parental in his affections than the other- their associated allies would follow suit. You could bargain for more personal space later, for now you simply needed to cement yourself in place and keep those representatives from trying to take you. By all means, you were fighting for your chance to return to your true home and the simple chance to live where you could mostly trust those around you.

As the sun rose, the warm scent of breakfast foods caught your attention. No doubt the only other one capable of cooking- Papa Hades- was already up and making a meal to feed the many who seemed to now permanently live in your dorm with you. It was a relief to not have to be the one cooking and you were fairly content with allowing the Shinigami to cook for you.

Grim had moved from his usual spot atop Silver's back and had managed to squeeze into your arms, cuddled close to you. Maybe he also had a bad dream and sought out comfort from the one he saw as a parent. It was odd to you to have more information about the Hellcat, yet no actual answers to the questions you still held onto. If anything, at least you knew what Grim was and you were willing to bring him with you if you ever found a way back to your home. There was no way you would leave the kit alone in such a dangerous world.

Lilia was next to rouse as he stretched his wings, limbs extended as he yawned and his pink tongue flashed across his bat-nose. When he saw you were awake as well, he smiled and crawled through the nest to your side. He was quick to flop down next to you and gently lay a wing over your body. There was something comforting about the loose affectionate hold as the Vampire Bat hummed contently.

"Morning, (Y/n)."

The Bat almost purred his greeting, clearly happy to have any interaction with you. You absently reached up a hand, petting the soft hair of the Bat as he smiled and cuddled closer. He leaned into your touch as if your petting was akin to a massage.

"Aww, grooming me back? That's so sweet of you, (Y/n)."

"What?"

"Keeheehee, nothing, (Y/n). Be careful who you pet, some may take it as grooming, some may take it as flirting."

You almost wanted to stop petting the Bat when he said this, wondering which way he took the gentle affection. Given the fact he told you and gave warning, you figured he was in the grooming category. Especially when you recalled that he was always keen to participate in communal grooming with the other Hoard members.

"Is petting a part of grooming to you?"

"Yes, most take petting as grooming, which is a very social behavior. It's a good way you can show others you care about them. Be careful though, Harpies can take preening as a sign of romantic intentions. Both Silver and Sebek are quite fond of it, as is Malleus. I, clearly, like it a lot."

"So, you're saying I should pet the others in the Hoard to show them I'm thankful for them?"

"It certainly wouldn't be amiss. I'm sure Malleus would appreciate it quite a bit, he is fond of you, after all."

You turned from Lilia to Malleus who was still in deep sleep next to you. It seems unwise to startle the Dragon, but a very persistent part of you encouraged and pushed you to reach your hand up to rest atop the Dragon's head. When he didn't immediately wake at your touch you slowly began to pet his silky black hair, a soft almost purring noise slowly coming from Malleus as he began to rouse. One green eye opened to observe you gently petting his hair and the slightest of smiles pulled at the corner of his lips.

"Good morning, my (Y/n). Hopefully your sleep was more pleasant this time around?"

"No more nightmares, at least."

"Good. Were you waiting long for me to wake?"

"No, I woke up a bit ago. I think Silver and Sebek are still asleep though."

Malleus glanced to the other side of the nest, where Silver slept atop a pile of pillows, Sebek leaning his back up against the Cervitaur. Grim woke to your soft voices, yawning and stretching out his little paws and wings with a light purr. Almost as soon as he opened his eyes, you could hear his stomach growling.

"Hooman, is it breakfast time yet?"

"Yes, I think it is. Smells like it is, at least."

This made the little Hellcat stand up quickly, his tail lashing in excitement as he pulled at your fingers to try and get you up as well. Your laugh in response to his behavior woke the other occupants of the nest. Silver seemed somewhat groggy, but got up quickly as did Sebek.

"Do you want to dress first, or eat breakfast first, (Y/n)?"

"I want to get dressed first, maybe I can wear some of those clothes Vil, Rook, and professor Divus made for me."

"Alright."

The Reindeer Cervitaur dismounted from the nest, standing with his back in line with the edge of the nest so you could crawl onto him. Before you could move and potentially stress your injury, a black tail wrapped around you and lifted you from the bed. Lilia had already hopped off and dug through the now full dressers for an outfit for you. You somewhat didn't know if you could trust what the Vampire Bat chose for you, but the simple pants and flowy shirt seemed decent enough.

The solitude of your bathroom was a nice change from the herd of monster men, but once you had taken care of your morning routine and dressed, Silver carried you downstairs. Naturally, the rest of the Hoard followed suit as you all went to the waiting kitchen.

You were somewhat surprised to see the kitchen had been upgraded as well, noticing a few new electronics you had asked Idia to put together for you. Where there had once been a shabby industrial kitchen, you now saw upgraded ovens, stove-tops, fridges and even a self revolving pantry. What interested you the most was what looked like a large deep-fryer that seemed to be able to clean itself and remove the thick unheated oil without needing to be touched. The things you could now make with that fryer called to you and you resolved to spend a day cooking fried comfort food when your leg healed.

Provided you could stay in Night Raven College.

"Good morning, Little One."

The large and old Shinigami greeted you with a gentle smile, setting the- clearly new- table with plates, bowls, cups, and silverware. He had already placed the large bowls of food in the center of the table. At the head was a large chair- suitable to his own large form- and one large chair at the right hand side where Idia already sat. To the left of the large chair was a chair much more suited to you. Attached to it with its own small table, seemed to be a high-chair for Grim.

Ruggie was already present and whooping excitedly, cackling as he hopped in place to see past Ortho who was trying to stop the Gnoll from immediately digging in. You smiled and Silver helped you dismount, pulling the chair out for you to settle down at the taller than normal table before putting Grim in the high-chair next to you. Idia noticed the way you examined the table and smiled almost shyly at you.

"Don't worry, the table can be automatically adjusted for height. Just press the side buttons at the head of the table to make it shorter or taller. Figured you should have an actual place to sit and eat instead of that little scrub table you had before. I got a few of those things you wanted made and all hooked up. They should work properly, but tell me if they don't so I can tweak them."

"Thank you, Idia. Honestly, I'm amazed you got them done so quickly."

"Why? My main spec is technomancy, after all."

"Just impressed, is all."

A faint pink seemed to take over Idia's flame hair as the gems on his cheeks also burned a light magenta. His smile became an almost drunk grin as he showed off those sharp teeth of his, clearly pleased by your light praise.

"Well, if that's impressive, just wait till you see the heated blanket I've been working on for you. That'll really knock your socks off."

"I'm looking forward to it!"

Ortho sighed and let Ruggie rush forward to the food as he took his seat next to Idia at the table, serving his own plate. The Hoard and Papa Hades also sat down at the table, Malleus making a clear show of sitting next to you and Grim. Everyone seemed content to eat and lightly chat together, you switching between eating your food and getting more food for Grim.

"He will likely need a lot of food to grow properly," Papa Hades started, observing you and Grim with a gentle smile, "he is still very young. I am happy to lend aid where it is needed, if you would allow it. Seeing as you have many who eat among you at any time, it would be best to keep the cupboards well stocked."

"Careful," you warned with a happy smile, "I might take you up on that offer and you'll wind up feeding all of Night Raven College. I mean, you'll certainly be feeding me, Grim, and Ruggie, but I know a few others who would happily dig in if offered."

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't expect several more mouths to feed. Worry not, my kin and I hold a good portion of the wealth of Twisted Wonderland. It is not too burdensome to feed the many young that live here."

You smiled at this and Ruggie barked his agreement, still shoveling food into his mouth. Grim was purring and pulled your hand to him so you could continue feeding him, effectively ending the conversation as you let the small beast feast.

When everyone had finished eating, Ortho and Idia started clearing the table, leaving you and the others present to talk about the events that would take place. It was stressful, but you knew the conversation needed to be had, especially if you were going to catch the representative who hired the poachers.

"You will meet them in a panel type setting around lunchtime, your guards, the professors, and Headmage Crowley will be there. I will keep my presence concealed until I am needed should there be any threats from the representatives or scientists. Young Idia suggests you pushback against any representative who attempts to pressure you into speaking to them alone or accepting their judgement. If this traitor is as temperamental as we believe, they will reveal themselves quickly with any aggression or denial from you. Are you comfortable handling this?"

"So I just have to be a petulant brat to anyone who tries to speak for me instead of to me?"

"That is the idea."

"I can do that, I think."

The large Shinigami nodded, but it was Malleus who spoke next. His voice a deep rumble in his chest as he turned to you with an almost worried gaze.

"(Y/n), I know you likely don't want to hear this, but you need to know. The representative in question will likely be killed once others learn what they have done to threaten you. Depending on where they live, they may be in violation of laws previously put in place to protect Humans."

Your frowned at this, but not for the reason they believed. If anything, you wanted something awful to happen to whoever it was that hired the poachers to kill you. The poachers stabbed you, attacked you and Grim, on top of threatening to kill the both of you. There was no love lost in your heart for the orchestrator of this violence against you and your kit.

"You seem to think I'm going to just forgive them after everything they've done?"

"Well, given how you forgave Cater-"

"I haven't forgiven Cater in the slightest. Just because I didn't want him to be thrown into the forest does not mean I forgave his short sighted actions. The circumstances with Cater are different. I fully believe Cater genuinely didn't know and is just stupid, not thinking about lasting consequences despite general logic speaking to the contrary. He is not forgiven, I just didn't want to see him hurt on my behalf. This poacher wannabe, however, is not someone I care to protect. No, I want this fucker's blood to stain the floor."

Malleus seemed surprised at your anger towards this mystery monster, but he didn't really blame you for your anger. If anything, the only two out of your tablemates who did not seem particularly shocked at your aggression and rage were Lilia and Papa Hades.

"This... seems out of character for you, (Y/n), are you sure you're feeling well?"

"I personally feel just fine. What I don't feel fine with is the fact that this butt-hurt waste of space knowingly dared to put Grim- My Boy- in direct danger to line their own pockets. That I can't forgive or forget. I'll even do it myself if you all refuse to. I don't care what their social standing is or how hard I have to try to kill them, target my boy and forfeit your life. I feel the same for any poachers who are looking to kill or otherwise use me for their own gain. Neither Grim nor I are pets, trophies, or playthings. Anyone who thinks we are needs a reality check."

It was then Lilia spoke up, setting down his flute of tomato-juice next to his plate. His voice was almost giddy in comparison to your own less than amused tone.

"Don't be so surprised, Malleus. I've told you and others before how Humans are about their young. Even the nicest Humans would be out for blood if you dare harm their young. Little Grimmy is (Y/n)'s boy, her kit, and I would expect her to hate anyone that threatens him."

The Bat almost seemed to exchange words silently with the Dragon after his statement, Malleus conceeding with a nod.

"Alright. But let one of us handle them, okay? I understand you are angry, but you have no weapons to your name and I am unsure you have any weapon training. If we need to kill them due to violence towards you, I would rather it be done quickly and without harm to you. Is that amenable?"

"Fine, but after this, one of you is teaching me how to wield a sword or a dagger."

#kiame-sama #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #reader insert #tw yandere #humans are extinct twst au #yandere twst #monster au #yandere monster au

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m4rv3l-girl · 3 days ago

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Happens to the Best of Us - Part 5

Bucky x Barnes

Y/N needs help with everything…

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Note: You may notice a change in narrative voice. I just found it quite stifling to write in 2nd person 🫶

Warnings: Smut. Fingering. Oral (f!receiving). Pregnant Reader. Fluffy smut - like the “I’m going to put my fingers in you and show you how loved you are” type of smut.

As the early autumn sun drifted through the apartment window, Y/N shifted uncomfortably on the couch, her back aching as she tried to settle in for what felt like the hundredth time.

At eight months pregnant, even sitting seemed like a trial. She sighed, letting her head fall back against the pillows, closing her eyes in mild frustration.

Bucky noticed instantly. “You okay, Doll?” His gentle voice came from the kitchen where he’d been cleaning up from breakfast. He was by her side in moments, his hand warm and steady on her shoulder. The tension in her body eased just a bit at his touch.

Y/N gave him a tired smile, half-lidded eyes meeting his. “I feel like a whale stuck on dry land,” she admitted with a laugh, rubbing at the side of her belly.

He chuckled softly, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “You’re not a whale,” he said, brushing his hand over her bump with a tenderness that still left her feeling fluttery. “But you do look like you could use a break. Or…some help, maybe?”

A smile spread across her lips. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she teased, though her hand drifted to rest on top of his, tracing her fingers over his knuckles.

Bucky smirked, squeezing her hand lightly. “Maybe I would,” he murmured, tone laced with playful intent. “Can’t help it if I love taking care of you, sweetheart.”

She felt her heart swell, a pleasant warmth blooming as his thumb traced gentle circles against her skin. “You spoil me,” she murmured, leaning into him.

“Someone’s gotta look after you, and I’m pretty happy it gets to be me,” he replied softly, slipping his arm behind her shoulders to help her lean into him. “Now, let’s take care of that ache of yours. It’s been bugging you for days.”

She let out a grateful sigh, her eyes fluttering shut as he began to knead gently at her shoulders. His touch was firm, strong, but never too much, and his thumb pressed into the sore spots just right. She could feel herself melting under his touch, tension dissipating as his hands worked their magic.

“Feels so good,” she whispered, barely able to keep her voice steady as he moved down her back, taking extra care to soothe every knot, every ounce of discomfort. Bucky’s hands moved with practiced ease, his voice gentle in her ear.

“I’d do anything for my best girl,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. His lips lingered there, and she could feel his smile against her hair. Slowly, he brought his hands around, trailing his touch down her arms, leaving her feeling light and floaty.

She could feel his gaze soften as he looked down at her, his eyes roaming over her, that sweet, adoring look that never failed to make her heart skip a beat. He seemed to hesitate a moment, then he spoke, his voice low. “There’s…something else I can do for you. If you’d like.”

A mischievous glint danced in her eyes as she looked up at him. “Oh? What are you offering, Sergeant Barnes?”

He chuckled, leaning in close, the scent of his cologne washing over her. “You tell me what you need,” he whispered, his tone warm and suggestive, his lips grazing the curve of her ear. “And I’m all yours, Doll.”

With a little shift, she moved to pull him closer, her hand slipping up to trace the back of his neck, fingers grazing his skin. “Well, maybe there is something…” she murmured, trailing off, lips barely an inch from his.

He took her face in his hands, eyes flickering with warmth and just a hint of mischief. “Anything, Kitten,” he whispered, brushing his thumb over her cheek.

In one gentle motion, he pulled her closer, his lips meeting hers in a kiss that was soft and patient, but simmering with a warmth that left her breathless. The rest of the world faded away, and she melted into him, feeling all the weight of her worries slip away.

The two of them paused, Bucky’s lips lingering close to hers, a soft smile on his face as his voice dropped to a murmur. “Let me take care of you tonight.”

Y/N nodded, a shiver of anticipation running through her body. "Please," she whispered against his lips.

Bucky's smile widened, his eyes darkening with desire. He kissed her again, deeper this time, his tongue teasing along the seam of her lips. She opened for him eagerly, sighing into his mouth as his hands began to roam, caressing her sides and the swell of her belly with reverence.

"So beautiful," he murmured, trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck. "My gorgeous girl."

Y/N tilted her head, giving Bucky better access as he lavished attention on her neck. His metal hand slid under her shirt, cool against her heated skin. She shivered at the contrast, a soft moan escaping her lips.

"That feel good, doll?" Bucky murmured against her skin, his breath hot on her neck.

"Yes," she breathed, her fingers threading through his hair. "Don't stop."

He chuckled low in his throat, the sound sending tingles down her spine. "Wouldn't dream of it, Kitten."

With gentle movements, mindful of her pregnant belly, Bucky helped Y/N lie back on the couch. He hovered over her, his eyes roaming her body with undisguised desire. Slowly, he pushed her shirt up, revealing her swollen stomach.

Bucky's eyes softened as he gazed at her belly, his flesh hand caressing the taut skin reverently. "You're so beautiful like this," he murmured, leaning down to press a tender kiss just above her navel. "Carrying our child."

Y/N's breath hitched as his lips trailed lower, leaving a trail of feather-light kisses across her sensitive skin. Her fingers tightened in his hair as he reached the waistband of her shorts, his metal hand coming up to hook into the elastic.

"May I?" he asked, looking up at her with dark eyes.

She nodded, lifting her hips to help as he slowly slid the shorts down her legs. Bucky's hands caressed her thighs as he settled between them, his breath warm against her center.

"So perfect," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh.

Y/N shivered at the sensation of Bucky's lips on her sensitive skin. He took his time, kissing and nipping gently along her inner thighs, building the anticipation. His metal hand slid up to cup her breast through her shirt, thumb brushing over her hardened nipple.

"Bucky," she breathed, arching into his touch. "Please…"

He looked up at her, a smirk playing on his lips. "Please what, doll? Tell me what you want."

"Your mouth," she whimpered, hips shifting restlessly. "I need your mouth on me."

Bucky's eyes darkened further at her words. "As you wish," he murmured, before finally leaning in to taste her.

Y/N gasped as his tongue flattened against her, licking a long stripe up her center. Her fingers tightened in Bucky's hair as he began to explore her folds with his tongue, alternating between broad strokes and focused flicks against her sensitive bundle of nerves. Her legs trembled as waves of pleasure washed over her.

Bucky groaned against her, the vibrations adding to her mounting pleasure. His flesh hand gripped her thigh, keeping her spread open for him as he devoured her with enthusiasm. His metal hand continued to knead her breast gently, rolling her nipple between his fingers.

"Oh god, Bucky," Y/N moaned, her head falling back against the pillows. Her hips rocked against his face, chasing the building tension coiling low in her belly.

"You taste so sweet," he murmured against her, the vibrations of his voice sending shivers through her body.

Y/N moaned softly as Bucky focused his attention on her sensitive bud, circling it with his tongue before sucking gently. Her hips bucked involuntarily, seeking more of that delicious friction. Bucky's metal arm draped over her hips, holding her steady as he continued his ministrations.

"That's it, doll," he encouraged between licks. "Let go for me. I've got you."

Y/N felt herself getting close, the tension building low in her belly as Bucky worked her with his skilled tongue. Her fingers tightened in his hair, holding him against her as she chased her release.

"Bucky, I'm… I'm so close," she panted, her back arching slightly off the couch.

He hummed in acknowledgment, the vibrations sending another jolt of pleasure through her. His flesh hand came up to gently massage her swollen breast, careful not to apply too much pressure to her sensitive nipples.

The sensation of his mouth on her aching center and his hand on her breast pushed Y/N over the edge. She cried out softly as her orgasm washed over her, her thighs trembling around Bucky's head. He continued to lap at her gently, working her through the aftershocks until she tugged lightly at his hair in overstimulation, signaling him to stop.

Bucky placed one last soft kiss on her inner thigh before moving back up her body, his eyes filled with warmth and adoration. He cupped her face gently, brushing his thumb over her flushed cheek.

"You're so beautiful when you come for me," he murmured, leaning in to kiss her softly. Y/N could taste herself on his lips, and she hummed contentedly into the kiss.

When they parted, she looked up at him with a lazy smile. "That was amazing," she sighed, her hand coming to rest on her belly.

Bucky smiled tenderly, placing his hand over hers on her rounded belly. "Glad I could help, doll," he murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. "How are you feeling now?"

Y/N sighed contentedly, her body relaxed and pliant beneath his. "Much better," she admitted with a sleepy smile. "Though now I might just fall asleep right here."

Chuckling softly, Bucky brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. "As tempting as that sounds, I think our bed might be more comfortable." His eyes sparkled with mischief as he added, "Plus, I'm not quite done taking care of you yet."

A shiver of anticipation ran through Y/N at his words. "Oh?" she breathed, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his chest. "What else do you have planned, Serge?”

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Ugh, don’t we just love soft Bucky? 😩

Requests Open!

#bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky smut #marvel

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lvmoure · 17 hours ago

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The Man Who Can't Be Moved CS55

Pairings: Carlos Sainz x ex!reader

Summary: In which Carlos still haven't moved on.

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, break up

Carlos regretted leaving you.

Mallorca 2019

The day was warm, a typical Mallorcan sun casting its golden rays over the sparkling blue sea, the sand beneath your feet hot but soothing. You squinted as the salty breeze tousled your hair, making you laugh and brush it away, your cheeks already tinged with sunburn. You weren't sure what had compelled you to agree to Lando's impromptu invitation to spend a weekend in Spain with his friend. Maybe it was the pull of adventure or just the excuse to escape for a few days.

You noticed Lando first, laughing as he called your name from the water, his voice breaking through the gentle murmur of the waves. But then you saw him. Carlos Sainz was a striking figure even in the simplicity of swim trunks, his tousled brown hair catching the sun's light, and his eyes—dark, intense—locking onto you with an easy, curious smile.

"Carlos, this is my friend," Lando introduced, his grin a bit too wide, like he knew something you didn’t.

Carlos extended his hand, the faintest hint of a smirk dancing on his lips. “Encantado de conocerte,” he said smoothly, his voice rich and warm, as if it had soaked up the Spanish sun along with him.

That day stretched into laughter-filled hours. You went swimming together, raced on the sand (he let you win once, although you both knew he could have easily outrun you), and had an effortless conversation as the sky shifted from blue to warm amber. Carlos seemed captivated by your stories, genuinely listening, occasionally pausing to repeat what you said in Spanish, as if savoring every word.

Later, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the sky blushed with hues of pink and purple, Carlos invited you to a quiet bar nearby. There, the two of you laughed over shared tapas, his hand grazing yours accidentally-on-purpose, both of you pausing as if holding on to that fleeting touch.

“I didn’t expect to meet someone like you,” he said, his voice softer now, vulnerable in a way that felt rare.

You looked at him, half-smiling, unsure of where this day would lead but already lost in the warmth of his gaze.

Months later

The months after that first meeting were a blur of stolen moments, weekend getaways, and countless whispered confessions. But somehow, you sensed a shift—a silent tremor that grew louder with each passing day. And when Carlos finally asked to meet you at a secluded café, you felt that cold weight settling in your chest.

He was fidgeting with his coffee cup, eyes downcast, his usual confidence absent. “I don’t know how to say this,” he started, his voice quiet, almost hesitant.

“Just say it, Carlos,” you whispered, though every fiber of you screamed against hearing the words that would come next.

His eyes met yours, filled with a painful honesty. “I… I don’t feel the same way anymore.” His voice cracked, betraying the weight of those words.

The silence was unbearable, heavy with the unspoken memories of every laugh, every kiss, every whispered secret. You struggled to keep your voice steady, but the words tumbled out, raw and desperate. “What happened, Carlos? We were… we were happy. You said you loved me.”

He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture you knew too well. “I thought I did. I… I don’t know when it changed, but it did.”

You fought back tears, but the hurt was a storm raging inside. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just because you’re… unsure?”

“Por favor, entiéndeme…” he whispered, voice soft but firm. “I can’t stay in something I don’t feel in my heart. It’s not fair to you, either.”

Your anger flared, bitter and sharp. “Fair? Since when did love become about being fair, Carlos? You don’t just stop feeling… not like this.”

He reached for your hand, and you pulled back, his touch too painful to bear. “I wanted this to be forever, you know? I thought we were real.”

Carlos’s face softened, guilt flashing in his eyes. “I did, too. But sometimes…” he paused, searching for words, “sometimes, things change, even if we don’t want them to.”

“Then maybe you should have fought harder,” you whispered, voice broken.

And with that, you left, the echo of his “Lo siento,” fading as you walked away, knowing you’d just left behind a part of yourself that would never fully heal.

Five years later

Five years later, Carlos found himself standing at the edge of that same beach where you’d first met. The memories hit him like waves crashing against rocks, each one sharper than the last. The laughter, the warmth in your eyes, the effortless joy you’d shared—each memory cut deeper, filled with a regret that had settled in his chest like a permanent ache.

The beach looked the same. The sun still blazed down, the waves still rolled in with their familiar rhythm, but something felt off, missing. You weren’t there. And in the empty space where you’d once been, all he could feel was the gnawing weight of regret.

Walking to the bar where you’d shared tapas that night, he slid into the same booth, ordering the same dishes out of some foolish hope that it might summon your memory more fully. “Un vino tinto, por favor,” he muttered absently to the bartender, glancing at the empty seat across from him.

His phone buzzed, and he opened a text from Lando, the only person who knew he was here. “Is this really a good idea, mate?” it read.

Carlos sighed, fingers hovering over the keys as he typed, “I just wanted to remember. I can’t help it.”

Lando’s reply was quick. “A piece of advice, mate, sometimes, memories are best left in the past.”

Carlos leaned back, closing his eyes. If only it were that simple. The truth was, he had never really let go of you. He had moved on, or so he’d told himself, but in the quiet moments, it was your face he still saw, your laugh he still heard, your touch he still craved. He had thought he’d be better off, but now, all these years later, all he could feel was the emptiness that had filled the space you left behind.

Just as Carlos was about to leave, he saw you. You walked into the bar, your hair a little different, your style more mature, but still unmistakably you. And then he saw it—the ring on your finger, glinting faintly in the low light. His heart sank, a bitter taste creeping into his mouth, but he managed a small smile as you spotted him and approached, surprise in your eyes.

“Carlos,” you said, voice soft, almost as if saying his name was too heavy.

“Hola,” he replied, his voice steady though his heart was far from calm.

The conversation started polite, cautious, as if you both were afraid of stepping on the remains of what once was. You shared snippets of your lives, your accomplishments, your families, and he listened, holding onto each word, knowing this was all he’d ever have again.

And then, after a beat, you hesitated, glancing down at your ring. “I’m getting married in a few months,” you said softly.

Carlos forced a smile. "Wow, congratulations,” he said, his voice betraying nothing but the bitterness he felt inside.

He tried to ignore the pang of jealousy, the gnawing regret, but it was impossible. Still, he wasn’t the man to stand in your way, not now, not after he had been the one to walk away all those years ago.

“Maybe we could still be friends,” you offered, your eyes kind, yet distant.

Carlos managed a nod, swallowing hard. “Yes. Friends,” he echoed, the word feeling foreign and wrong on his tongue.

And as you walked away, he couldn’t help but wonder what could have been if he’d only known then what he did now. But for now, this was all he’d have left—the memory of what you once had, fading into the salty breeze as you disappeared from his sight.

#carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #ferrari #lando norris #lando norris x reader

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kinardsheart · 3 days ago

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@marvelousbuckley prompt !!! buckley fights and whatnot

—————————

Everyone knew that when all the Buckley’s were at a table together, shit would go down.

Buck’s jaw tensed, teeth grinding against eachother in an effort to not snap. To not flip the table like some overdramatic movie scene and flee, get far away from whatever was happening right now.

Maddie’s worried eyes flicked from their parents to him, eyebrows furrowing as she no doubt was thinking of ways to de-escalate the situation, ever the mediator.

“What did you say?”

“We just think that you’re rushing into things. What, with all your past relationships, isn’t this a bit different?”

Pain surged through his body as he bit his tongue to bite back the venom he was about to hurl. His fists clenched, nails digging into his palms, keeping him from disassociating back into the same little boy that always came back.

“Mom, I think it’s a bit late. Jee-Yun’s asleep, I think we’re all a bit tired.”

His mother shook her head, bony hands resting over his fathers still ones moving to tuck a stray hair back into her neatly styled bob. Maddie sighed, leaning back in her chair uncomfortably, facial expression not moving from it’s worried state. This was happening.

“Why so?”

“Well… you know.”

An eyebrow raised as he stared them down intimidatingly, daring them to continue. “I don’t. Continue.”

Philip sighed wearily, as if Buck was the one who initiated the topic. As if Buck was the problem. Like always, his stupid son. Always causing problems. The thought made his stomach churn, queasy, nails digging deeper into his palms.

“Enough, Evan. This is just another rash decision like you always make. It won’t mean anything, you’ll snap out of it, son.”

Son. Like he was the one who taught him to tie a tie for his highschool formal. Ran around football fields with him as the sun glared above them, exhausted laughter as they collapsed on the fields and got ice cream on the way home. Held him as he cried and told him he was still a man. Images of makeshift father figures, his maths teacher, Bobby. Tears pricked at his waterline as he stood up, too exhausted to fight. They were never going to change.

Despite calls of his name as he walked out of the chilly apartment, maybe it wasn’t cold. maybe the chill came from the use of evan from mouths who didn’t deserve to it, he moved on autopilot. He was almost out; through the kitchen and about to open the front door when a smaller hand landed on his arm. Concerned, familiar brown eyes met his.

Memories of broken bikes, aching wounds, warm hugs and pinky promises swam around in his mind as he looked down at her.

“You know they’re just worried, right?”

His blood ran ice cold.

“Are you on their side?”

She flinched at his tone, shaking her head while her hand dropped from his arm, taking the warmth with it. “No, of course not. But they’re just worried, Evan. You don’t have to go, they don’t mean anything.”

The threat of his previous tears returned. “That’s the thing, Maddie. They never mean anything. They don’t care, and when they do, it’s never good.”

A deep breath, then he continued.

“You wanna know why they don’t like Tommy? Because I’m happy. They don’t like that. Why should I be happy when I’m not even the son they wanted? They said it themselves. I’m their reminder that the one they wanted is dead, looking them in the eyes.”

Her head tilted with her lips turning down in an upset frown.

There was nothing left to be said, he supposed. The bickering from the other room quietened as he opened the door, giving her one final look.

“Goodnight, Mads.”

——————

He doesn’t remember how he ended up here, at Tommy’s door. All he knows is that now there’s a dishevelled, clearly was just asleep firefighter in front of him, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.

“Evan?”

Guilt flooded his senses. He shouldnt’ve come.

“Sorry, you’re tired. I’ll just go.”

Tiredness shifted into concern, a big hand reaching out for his as he turned to walk back to his jeep, no doubt in for a relentless night of tossing and turning.

“No, stay. You just woke me up, no need to go. What’s wrong?”

What was wrong? Everything, nothing?

His head hung low, the pang of pain from his nails digging into his palms returned. He flexed his hand, wincing in pain as the small wounds opened back up.

Tommy, ever so vigilant, didn’t miss this. The older man reached for his hands, gently bringing them up and turning them upright. A small frown formed, which was so wrong on his face. He deserved to smile. Buck was bringing him down.

“Oh, honey.”

The gentleness of the name, like Buck was something to care for. Something to be held, and loved. It broke him. Nobody deserved that burden, but maybe if Tommy wanted to carry it, he’d let him.

Buck fell forward into his outstretched arms, sobs wracking his body as he was just held, hands racking up and down his back soothingly.

Later, when he was settled, in a comfy bed full of content and love, he would tell him about the dinner. About Daniel. But for now, he could just cry. Tommy wouldn’t leave him for it.

#9-1-1 #bucktommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buckley parents #maddie buckley #I LOVE YOU MADDIE #not maddie bashing #thats my baby

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ldysmfrst · 2 days ago

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American Mate (15) - The Pack Meeting and Troubled Pasts

Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 15 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 10,486

Work count for Story: 117,926

Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine

A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work because I almost died in August of 2024.

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, Alphas fronting, and discussions of past trauma, violence, abuse, illegal sex work, underage escort services, and threats of death. THIS IS A HEAVY CHAPTER.

BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit

AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

It's so warm, soft, and orangey.

Wait, orange?

‘When did the pillows ever smell this orange-like?’ You think this as sleep slowly fades away.

The light from the sitting window shines as the sun rises over the hills. You haven’t felt this well-rested since you used to curl up on the couch with your father before he skipped out on the family. Well, maybe the kitty piles with Evie’s family were this good, but then again, maybe not.

Chasing the evil thoughts away, you snuggle into the pillow harder when you realize– it’s purring.

That is when you feel a chin snuggle down on your head, something tightening around your waist, and a hand rubs your back. There is also the slight rise and fall that you failed to recognize, which should have reminded you from the start that you weren’t alone.

Slowly tilting your head up, you blink them to focus on the sleepiest and warmest dark red eyes. There is a sleepy smile on the Alpha’s face as he purrs more at your attention.

Your night scones back to you as you remember asking the now-purring panda to stay with you because being alone again or even sleeping after having nightmares was not something you were good at doing. Honestly, you don’t even remember falling asleep.

Moving back away, the Alpha’s grip holds strong before he says, “No, stay. Sleep more.”

“Alpha Chim, I really should get up,” you softly reply, not wanting to disagree with him, but you did have to pee. Even though you would love to relish in the body heat provided by the Alpha, proving Namjoon’s point from yesterday, you didn’t want his mates to find you two like this.

When you go to move your arms again, you find that you have one arm under his waist, one resting on his chest, one leg between his, and the other over his hip. Great! Either you were a tornado, and this is his way of containing you, or he is a cuddler.

Snickers are heard off to the side of the bed, snapping your attention to see who else is in the room. Seokjin is leaning against one of the bedposts, his eyes like crescent moons as he smiles at the two of you.

“He is strong for being one of our tiny mates. Need to get away from Alpha Chim?” he asks quietly, moving closer to the middle of the bed. You nod, hesitant to speak up and wake the still-sleeping Alpha, who is very much attempting to be one being with you.

Tapping your leg, Seokjin signals you to move it off Alpha Chim’s hip, making you blush because you realize again how compromising your situation's look is to the eldest bonded mate in the Bangtan pack.

Your movement, however, causes the red panda to wiggle into a smaller ball with a slight pout and, in turn, releases your leg from between his. While making the soft-looking red panda even cuter, it also allows some wiggle room for the arm trapped under his waist.

Looking at Seokjin, you can see the oldest mate taking in the many options for the situation you are unaware of. A smile graces your face as you see the puffy eyes from him recently waking up, the red line on his cheek from a crease in his pillow, and the non-brushed hair on his head. How his one sleeve is pushed up to his elbow shows off the lean strength of this forearm and the slimness of his wrist.

This is the real Kim Seokjin.

Your eyes trace the contours of his face before meeting his eyes, which are watching you ogle him. Immediately, you blush and hide your face in Jimin’s chest, putting yourself back towards the very hybrid that you are currently trying to flee from.

“My Dear, you have no reason to hide that pretty little face from me,” coos Seokjin. “I am happy you are taking the time to see me. However, hiding in Jimin’s chest won’t help you escape his grasp anytime soon.”

You let out a slight whine, pulling a more resounding, instinctually calming purr from Jimin. Glancing back up at him, his eyes are still shut, but his orange is sweeter with a hint more vanilla. Confusion colors your face as the slightly intoxicating scent tries to lure you back to sleep.

“No, no. Don’t let the cuddly panda keep you here. He is notorious for being late to things, my Dear.” Seokjin says as he lifts said panda’s arm draped over your waist. “Lean back.”

Following the direction, you lean back as he rests Jimin’s hand on the space on the pillow that was previously occupied by your head. Well, you are primarily untangled aside from the trapped arm. Tilting your head a bit, you look at Seokjin with an expression that says, ‘now what?’

Seokjin raises a finger with a smirk, asks you to hold on, and then points for you to watch. Your eyes dart between the two Alpha mates, wondering what the heck is gonna happen.

Seokjin leans down, chittering in Jimin’s ear, and softly kisses just behind his lobe, causing the panda to gasp slightly. Continuing to lay soft kisses on the sleeping mate, Seokjin kneels outside the nest with one hand on the wall behind you.

While Seokjin technically does not cage you in, you are being hovered over by the Alpha. It feels similar but not overwhelming just yet because it feels safe.

Soft whines mixed with tiny groans escape Jimin’s sleeping form, bringing your attention out of your thoughts. Your eyes do not know if they want you to watch the slow flushing of Jimin’s skin as he is peppered with kisses or the smooth, taught muscles of Seokjin’s chest that you can glimpse now that gravity has pulled his sleeping shirt away.

It’s Jimin who finally wins with a high, keen sound escaping. Now his soft lips have parted, his breathing has sped up, and his hand on the pillow is grasping tight. How he is still sleeping through this amount of affection is beyond you. Even more confusing is why Seokjin isn’t upset that his ministrations are being, well, ignored by the younger.

“In a moment, you will know when, please move out of your nest, that is if you still want to,” Seokjin whispers, glancing at your heated face.

You nod, still fascinated by the sight before you. Half of you wants to know what it would feel like to be Jimin, another half wants to be Seokjin, and a whole different version of you that you haven’t felt in a long time wants to watch it play out.

If you were several years younger, your bladder wasn’t screaming at you, and there wasn’t the mantra about them being bonded mates of Bangtan, you could see how any rational young woman would have jumped at the chance.

Seokjin can smell your evident attraction to what is happening, but because of what he overheard from the open window last night when you and Namjoon returned, he knows he cannot push it more than he already has. He wants you to know that the option is there, but he can see in your eyes that you are still not seeing them for who they are to you.

Using the arm against the wall to keep himself propped up and not falling into your nest, Seokjin uses the other to lower Jimin’s sleep shirt, exposing his shoulder and neck. Tailing his kisses down to the juncture where they meet, Seokjin bites down enough to jerk Jimin’s body in a startled manner, which twists the panda onto his back. Jimin’s arms fly up to wrap around Seokjin’s upper body, almost as if he is grounding himself as he is woken up by the feisty actions of his older mate.

With a gasp and an inappropriate amount of arousal, you almost miss your chance to pull out your arm as Jimin jerks and twitches under Seokjin’s distraction-induced ministrations. The amount of strength the elder shows by holding himself aloft while the younger clings to him is astonishing.

Scrambling out of bed, you bolt into the bathroom and shut the door. Making your way to the sink, you don’t dare look in the mirror because you already know how flush your face is. You can feel the heat coming off of you in waves. You were taught better than this; you bit your bottom lip with the thought that your family would be beside themselves with distaste at your reactions.

You are 10000000% sure that Seokjin could smell your reaction to what he was doing and was awake enough to understand whatever it was that he could get from that. You don’t think Jimin even realized you were still in the bed with the both of them, much less how your internal slut was reacting. You would only hope that Seokjin was okay with it. Being okay with it at the moment and being okay with it hours later are two vastly different things.

You were human and a woman, after all. Jimin had mentioned that previous Playmates were homosexual. Would that be upsetting to them if you weren’t? Do they realize that you are, in fact, only straight and not any other version of sexual preference?

While you have no issues with any of the LQBTQ+ lifestyle, community, and an individual’s preferences, look at Derek and Lily; you were bland, plain old heterosexual. You weren’t opposed to the idea of noting how sexy or beautiful a biologically trans, cross-dressing, or drag queen female form was. You just weren’t interested in pursuing them because most of them you might be curious about were way out of your league.

Out of your league, just like the Bangtan Pack.

Today, this meeting with the packhouse of Alphas has to happen. There is too much in the air that you need to really get settled before you find yourself doing something unladylike or, worse, getting fired. With that thought, you go about your morning routine.

Not wanting to disrupt Seokjin or Jimin if they were still in your bed, you dawned Namjoon’s bathrobe over your pajamas since it was still there and hot-footed out of your bedroom, closing the door as quickly as possible.

The rest of the pack house sounded quiet, prompting you to take time for yourself. After making a cup of Earl Gray tea with a bit of honey and milk, you grabbed a blanket from the living room and went outside to the pavilion you noticed while talking to Ryan the other day.

Moving one of the chairs to face the sun as it rose, you bundled yourself in the blanket and sipped your tea. Your mind wandered about everything you wanted to discuss with the Bangtan pack.

You had to share your past with them as you did with Namjoon, and then your family history explained the human fort/nest issue. There was also the desire to set some ground rules, like private me times or intimate with each other times.

You weren’t a prude.

You knew they were mates and what that meant. They even told you they took care of their ruts within the pack. So, you just needed to know what to do when those times came along. Today was the second time you had been very much present, and at least one, if not both of them, had been 100% aware you were there when they did… stuff, and you didn’t want to impose.

Though the fact they would even do stuff like that with you around would indicate that you were, in fact, not imposing, but that didn’t mean that the others like Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok would think the same way. It also didn’t mean that they would be comfortable with you just being there and watching them like they were your own personal live-action porno.

You continued thinking of things you needed to do over the remainder of the day, maybe fix or change the fort, whose not-date date would be next, etc.

What you didn’t notice was the three sets of eyes watching you.

Jungkook was heading inside when he heard you messing around in the kitchen, looking for whatever you were looking for. His little heart was racing a million beats per minute when you almost caught him in his animal form as he scrambled into a bush near the door when you came outside.

He knows that you are not her, but at the same time, that doesn’t mean you won’t react like her.

Yoongi and Taehyung watch you from the second story. Both are not fond of the idea that you are purposely sitting alone, outside, in the cold, by yourself, and deeply thinking about something that could very well lead you to a place that doesn’t involve them without anyone with you.

Did they note just how by yourself you thought you were?

They could tell you were unaware of the Alpha outside with you because you didn’t come running and screaming inside, or you didn’t end up with a rabbit the size of a dog in your lap.

“Why is she alone, hyung?” asks Taehyung with a large pout of his lips and furrow of his brow.

“Humans tend to cherish their time alone. They don’t have the pack mentality that we are born with,” answers Yoongi with his tail snapping back and forth.

Huffing, Taehyung whines, “She even made her own drink. Does she not understand that it is my job to do that right now? How will I ever gain her forgiveness if she doesn’t let me show her that I care for her and can provide?”

The soft steps of another mate joining them paused the conversation. Jimin hugs Taehyung around the waist, burying his face between the taller mate's shoulder blades. Low-toned chittering and purring fills the silence, pulling their attention to the shortest mate.

“What's got you in such an interesting mood, Jimin-ah?” inquires Yoongi as he moves away from the window to look at the panda’s face. “Oh sorry, Alpha Chim.”

“That would be a combination of me and Y/n,” Seokjin says from the doorway. “Our minnie love decided to find his way into Y/n’s nest last night to sleep.”

“What?!” exclaims both Yoongi and Taehyung. The latter pulls out of the back hug to look at Alpha Chim’s flushed face. Taking a deep breath, Tae can smell the sweetness of his oranges mixed with cherries from Jinnie, but there is a sweetness almost like they were candied, which could only come from you.

“You did not,” Yoongi states more than he questions.

“He didn’t. Nothing was done between them other than holding onto each other like a pair of koalas as they slept fully clothed. I had to help Y/n wiggle herself out just to go to the bathroom,” chuckles Seokjin. “Someone didn’t want his ladymate to leave the nest this morning.”

“Then why is Alpha Chim out?” wonders Taehyung out loud.

Crunching his face, Seokjin says, “Not sure, actually. He was out when she woke up. I wonder if Alpha Chim was sleeping with y/n for some reason.”

“Protect, mate,” Alpha Chim finally speaks up. “Nightmares. Crying. Alpha, protect Luna– mate.”

A collective understanding spreads in the room. Taehyung closes the distance between him and Alpha Chim, kissing his forehead. Yoongi follows suit and kisses the Alpha on the cheek.

“Such a good Alpha. Consoling, reassuring, and protecting her,” says Yoongi. “Thank you for stepping in for me like a proper mate, Alpha Chim.”

Alpha Chim nods and smiles brightly as his eyes bleed back into Jimin’s natural color. Looking around at the other three mates, Jimin says, “She wants a pack meeting. I think last night spooked her a bit, and Taehyung and I are to blame. Don’t worry, I will join Taehyung in servicing to compensate for it.”

A growl startles the room as it comes from Taehyung. His jaw is set firmly, and he says, “She won’t even let me service her much less adding you into it. She made her own tea or coffee or whatever she is drinking now. She didn’t even try to wake me up.”

“Does she know to wake you up?” asks Seokjin, to which Taehyung shakes his head no. “You cannot blame her for letting you sleep or do whatever then. She is human. She doesn’t want to impose more than she thinks she is already. Remember what manager-nim said.”

“Maybe this pack meeting is a good idea,” conveys Yoongi. “We may not be able to tell her she is our bondable mate right now, but maybe we can clarify more about the rights of being a pack mate she has yet to discover, like waking any of us up if she needs it.”

“Or not running away when there is skinship or intimate moments between us,” mumbles Jimin with a frown. “She ran out like the nest was on fire when Hyung woke me with kisses and a little nibble. You would have sworn he was trying to fuck me in front of her already with how she reacted.”

“You two,” Seokjin points to Yoongi and Jimin, “Go and wake the others. I will make something quick for breakfast. Taehyung, please get her out of the cold. Bring in Kook as well before he has a stroke in the bushes.”

Still lost in thought, you are unaware of the eyes still watching you.

Jungkook has inched closer to you, wanting to watch your features light up as the sun hits them. He knew you were pretty before, but seeing you as the world wakes up was something completely different.

He is going to ask for or acquire cuddles with you today. He has to. With his warm and fuzzy feelings, any other choice was not an option. Being the youngest, he typically got away with more things than the others were able to, and he has been happy so far that you are allowing him the amount of skinship he has taken so far without complaints.

He hopes it is because you subconsciously feel the bond between the two of you, not because you see him like a namdongsaeng. He never wants you to see him in that light because it would cause more complications than anyone wants to deal with. It is already enough that all of Bangtan are younger than you.

You, being their noona, are sexy in the way that an oppa is sexy to younger women. Unfortunately, a dongsaeng is not sexy in any way. He wants to be sexy to you– they all do.

Taehyung watched his youngest mate feed into his animalistic side as he hopped through the bushes, his little fluffy tail twitching excitedly. He chuckled at the enormous flemish rabbit hiding in the bushes, stalking his newest mate, who was totally in another world. You must feel safe at the pack house because you seem to have lowered your guard. It fills him with pride, even if you do not realize what you are doing.

He can see your profile when he comes out of the door. Stopping his approach, he observed your microexpressions changing as each thought must have been coiling through your mind. What had such a sobering effect on you?

He whistles as he walks to you to gain your attention without startling you. Noticing your body unconsciously tense at the sound, you look up to find him and relax with a gentle smile. He wants to puff his chest at the fact that you visibly relax with him, which means that you aren’t still mad at him, he thinks.

Apparently, today is the day for lounging and no primping as Taehyung slowly makes his way towards you with a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye. He is also dressed in sleepwear, although he has now decided to wear a shirt—a flash of his toned chest filters through your mind. Trying not to blush at the memory, you smile at the tiger.

“Good morning, Taehyung,” you greet him with little puffs of breath showing in the still-chilled air.

“Morning, Dove,” replies Taehyung with a lift of his head as he steps into the pavilion. “Why are you sitting out here in the cold?”

You hear his words as you look around, trying to find the mourning dove he spoke of. Frowning, you answer, “I rarely get to see the sun rise from my packhouse. There are too many buildings around me. Plus, I needed to think about some things before the day started.”

“What’s wrong?” questions Taehyung, now looking around for whatever you are looking for, spotting Jungkook and nodding his head toward the door, hoping the little devil would take the hint to go inside already.

“The chueybird,” you say with a bit of sass because what else would you be looking for? Glancing back at the Alpha standing before you, you notice the absolute lack of understanding and giggle.

“A chueybird is what my dad used to call mourning doves. They are a part of the dove family, Columbidae. They have many names but mostly are called the American mourning dove, the rain dove, the turtle dove, and the chueybird,” you explain with a slight tint of sadness.

It isn’t often that you speak about your father. He was an ornithologist, and chueybirds, though common, were one of his favorites. They were the easiest to spot with their lovely, unique coloring. It was also the first bird your father thought you about when he would take you bird watching in the local parks.

A chuckle from Taehyung stops you from searching. Looking at him, you notice the coy smile and crescent moon eyes. “Y/n, I was calling you Dove and saying morning to you.”

You feel your eyes go almost comically wide with a flush to your cheeks as you muse, “Oh… I guess I am a morning type bird but really am more like a terminally exhausted pigeon.”

“Are you not sleeping well?” Concerned, Taehyung kneels in front of you. His hands hold your face as he inspects to see the darkened circles under your eyes, along with their puffiness. He also notes the dryness of your skin, though it is still soft.

He thought that sleeping with Jimin last night would have allowed you to have better sleep, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Maybe it is because of the events with Namjoon and the nightmare that stole your resting sleep.

The warmth of his hands on your face shows just how cold you have gotten sitting outside for who knows how long. You relish in the feeling for a moment longer before you lean back, saying, “It’s normal for me, though. I haven’t been able to sleep well for a few years. Maybe when my pack is around it’s better…”

You trail off on the thought because you know for at least the next several weeks, you won't be able to have sleepovers with your pack while having to stay with Bangtan. While you knew you would be giving up on things being here, you never reasonably thought about the home life you would leave behind.

Clearing your throat, “We should maybe get inside? That is why you came out here, isn’t it? Do you have a schedule today that I need to get ready for? I forgot to check my phone.”

Moving his hands to your shoulders, Taehyung helps you stand while keeping the blanket secure. When he held you, your lips were pale, and your skin was like ice. The tea had long gone cold and had done nothing to keep you warmed.

“I came out here because my Mistress did not wake me to prepare her tea for her or to keep her warm while she contemplated whatever it was you were contemplating in the cold morning air,” grumbles Taehyung.

Scoffing at him, you dispute with, “I’m sorry, but I am not the Idol here who needs his beauty sleep so that a galizzion bajillion stans can fawn over him, now am I?”

Taehyung’s lips thinned, and his eyes narrowed at your remark. You must have stepped over a line you didn’t understand was there. Dropping your head, you fidget by adjusting your grip on the mug, waiting for whatever harsh words he is preparing to say to you.

“It’s time to go inside. Seokjin-hyung is preparing breakfast. The rest of the pack is waiting for us and after we eat, we will discuss a few things,” coldly informs Taehyung. “Jimin mentioned you wanted a pack meeting and that is what we will do.”

Turning your shoulders towards the door, he gestures to it and says, “After you.”

Breakfast was awkward, to say the least.

Namjoon couldn’t stop watching you eat while wearing his bathrobe.

Taehyung wouldn’t let you get any of your own food, insisting he was doing this job.

Jimin and Jungkook wouldn’t even look your way without blushing or startling.

Yoongi, Hoseok, and Seokjin were the most normal, but even then, no one really talked about anything.

You insisted on helping Seokjin and Namjoon clear the table but were abruptly stopped by Taehyung, who ushered you to the single plush chair in the living room and made you sit down. Once sitting, you found your lap instantly becoming Jungkook's pillow as Taehyung went to help in your place.

“Y/n, why are you frowning?” asks Jungkook softly, stilling his nuzzling into your plush thighs once he notices your facial expression.

Looking at the soft Alpha almost half in your lap while still sitting on the floor, you run your fingers into his hair, causing his eyes to flutter slightly.

“I just feel useless right now, Thumper.” You say, moving to sit more comfortably in the armchair. “Here, come sit between my legs; it will be more comfortable for both of us.”

Jungkook’s ears stand straight up at your offer. He blushes slightly as his ears slowly fold onto his head, asking, “Are you sure, Y/n? I don… that is a very… umm… close way of cuddling.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you purse your lips at him, “Thumper, I wouldn’t offer it if I wasn’t comfortable with the idea. In fact, it would be nice right now to have your comfort with me or Yoongi’s, but you are here now.”

Nodding, Jungkook twisted around until he was situated between your legs with his knees to his chest. Laying his head on one thigh, he closed his eyes as you resumed finger-brushing his hair. He notes that you are careful not to touch his ears; however, you get so close that he thumps the foot on the ground and grabs your ankles.

“Hmm,” you hear over your shoulder. Turning, you see Yoongi standing just behind the chair with his eyes on your hand in his youngest mate's hair. Slowly, you remove them from the soft locks, pulling a whine from Jungkook, who looks up at you with puppy dog eyes despite the fact he is indeed a Flemish Giant Rabbit.

“Oh don’t stop on my account,” comments Yoongi. “I was just wondering why you chose to sit in the chair meant for one.”

The look of, maybe, hurt in his eyes catches you off guard. Shaking your head, “It was Taehyung who sat me here. I had no choice. Then I got seatbelted in by a rather large bunny.”

“Hey, you could have moved to a different seat, and I would have followed just fine, Sugar,” Jungkokok says, squeezing your ankles.

You shrug and put your hands up, “I don’t know this. When an Alpha, especially one with Tae’s reputation, puts you somewhere– guess what? You stay there,” you say, looking between the two, hoping they get what you mean.

“Yeah, well, right now, it's you who is in control of said Alpha and his reputation,” Yoongi says with a scowl. “Where do you want to sit? Who do you want to sit with?”

Looking at Yoongi like he had almost lost it, Namjoon walked into the living room, followed by Seokjin and the rest. “Y/n, please sit where you want and direct the pack to where you will be most comfortable. It is you, after all, who called the pack meeting,” declared the Prime Alpha.

Your eyes go wide. You called the pack meeting? But you aren’t of a status in the pack to call meetings, right? You are temporary, and you are not Luna here. Umm… shit. You have overstepped, which must be why breakfast was quiet.

“With your permission, Prime Alpha,” you start in an attempt to mend whatever you had done, only to be cut off by Taehyung as he storms over to you, causing Jungkook to hop out of the way comically.

Dropping to his knees, Taehyung bares his neck slightly. He still wants to look at you and says, “Y/n, my Dove, you called the meeting. Everyone within this pack has a right to call a pack meeting; this includes you. Please.”

Searching his face, you see that he is honest. A movement behind him catches your attention as you focus on seeing Jungkook follow suit and kneel with his neck fully bared to you—your mouth gaps when you hear a whine from behind Namjoon.

Looking in that direction, you see Jimin nibbling on his bottom lip, watching his two mates show signs of submission to you. Taking in the reactions of Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok, they also look worried but not.

After another beat, their eyes all snap at you.

Waiting.

While avoiding seeing Yoongi’s reactions to the unusual display, you look at Taehyung and say, “I would like us to sit comfortably.”

“How would that look to you, Y/n?” questions Hoseok.

“Well, that is a good question,” you reply. You want Yoongi with you more now than before, but you know that Taehyung’s rules require him to sit at your feet, but Jungkook was there.

“Yoongi, Jungkook, and I will sit on the long couch. Taehyung, you will take your place as you should. Then I will leave the rest of you to find your comfort among the rest of the available seating,” you say with as much confidence as a kit.

Yoongi steps around the chair and pulls you to your feet, keeping your hands connected as he follows your directions. It's like someone pushed play. Everyone starts moving without a word spoken.

Yoongi sat to your right. Jungkook sat to your left. Well, he laid down to your left with his head in your lap and pulled your good hand back to his hair with a cheeky smile. Taehyung copied Jungkook’s earlier position of sitting between your legs with one arm wrapped around your calf.

Namjoon took the single chair while Seokjin, Jimin, and Hoesok made it work on the loveseat. Once everyone settled, time seemed to halt. Everyone looked at everything, but each other, and the seriousness of the meeting settled over the room.

“Y/n, have you ever held a pack meeting before?” asked Jungkook softly.

Nibbling your bottom lip, you hum, “Ah, well, yes, but never with Alpha’s.”

“It isn’t any different because we are Alpha’s,” Jungkook says encouragingly. “Just talk to us.”

“I think I would do better answering questions than just talking,” you nervously chuckle. Glancing at the three Alphas you surround yourself with, you felt a slight ping of hurt that you had left out the others, but they weren’t yours to gather in a puppy pile or horde like a dragon.

“Actually, Jungkook, can you sit up, please? And Taehyung, can you turn to face me?” You ask with firmness. You want to see them as they are Alpha’s. Not the cuddly bunny that had already found an express pass to skinship that you never knew you had, nor the dominating Alpha seeking forgiveness for letting his instincts control his actions when he wasn’t aware of the situation.

The others meet your gaze once they move as you requested, ending with Namjoon. You look at the Prime Alpha with a look you hope conveys the topic you will bring up. He nods once, slowly. Glancing back at Jimin, you are met with a warm smile because he is the one who gave you the idea to do this.

Well, here goes nothing.

“I wanted to have this pack meeting to tell you all something about me and my past at the same time,” you start, albeit shakily.

Yoongi squeezes your knee, pulling your attention. “You only have to share what you think, nothing more nothing less.”

“We may ask questions,” interjects Hoseok. “But you don’t have to answer if you are not comfortable.”

“Thank you, Hoseok,” you smile. “I will try to be as clear as possible. I just ask that you wait till I finish before asking questions, if possible?”

Everyone nods, settling into an attentive stance. Their eyes look concerned but patient. Jungkook has scooched a hair closer to you. Yoongi already had his leg pressed against yours, even with him angled as he is to be able to look at you. Taehyung looked slightly conflicted with himself. It wasn’t until you shifted your leg forward to where it brushed his criss-crossed legs that he settled down.

Looking at your lap, you fiddled with your brace as you started.

“My history hasn’t been one of hearts, stars, horseshoes, rainbows, and balloons. It’s been more of bruises, beatings, blood, abuse, and assault. Jimin was unfortunate enough to hear some of what happened when he woke me from my nightmare last night, which is why you found him in my room, Seokjin.

“I know you all know a little because of my medical check-up being in the contract, and Namjoon knows a bit more because I shared it with him last night. I figured it would be good for all of you to know. This way, everyone is informed equally, and I would only really have to tell all of it at once, here.”

You could hear movements rustling at the implications of your words, but you didn’t dare look to see who was getting antsy or what may have happened because you just needed to keep going.

“I guess I should start at the beginning. I am the youngest of two. My older brother is somewhat of a modern-day gypsy and hikes anywhere, sleeping in a tent, has shaggy hair, is built like a Mac truck, and takes odd jobs. According to my mother, he is living his dreams of being an explorer to help chart nearly impossible things for the advancement of environmental sciences. He does that, too, but it's just his way of escaping her.

“My mother is a socialite. She has never worked a day in her life and never will. She comes from old money and married my father because he was in her social standing to do as such. I am pretty sure she never really loved him, but my father thought the world of her.

“He is a scientist who studies birds. He taught my brother and I basic respect for hybrids, animal rights, and survival methods for backpacking. Last I knew, he was in a different country, so he couldn’t take us with him, besides the fact that mother wouldn’t let him during the divorce. She said he was too wild to be a proper parental figure.

“For me, I have never been a thin, lean female growing up. Like my brother, I got my stockiness and size from my father. My father said it just meant that I was sturdy enough for childbearing, but my mother said it was because I had too much of my father in me. She would throw me into the latest dieting or workout trend like I was some pseudocelebrity that needed to maintain a particular look.

“I was quickly the target of bullies as early as grade school due to my physical build and hitting puberty earlier than the rest of the class. I could never go to my mother about these issues because I was bringing them on myself. It was always met with cold shoulders, stricter diets, and harsher workouts.

“I didn’t understand how warm a hug was until Evie came into my life. I learned some skinship pack behaviors from the Foust Pack, but humans didn’t readily accept the cuddling. When I hit high school, it only got worse when I would try to have skinships with new human friends. So my mother and her sister taught me to use my feminine wiles and skinship behaviors to get the attention of desirable sons of her country club.

“It worked like a drug with those high society boys. They enjoyed the tastefully revealing clothes and the looseness of my inhibitions as they called them. My aunt and mother said they were just showing me affection and I should be grateful for any type of acknowledgement that I could get. If I mentioned it was uncomfortable then it was because I was ungrateful.”

Taking a deep, steadying breath to gather where you want to head next with the conversation, you note the air is burnt and stormy all at once. It stills you, your brain registering that you are surrounded by very, very unhappy Alphas, which causes you to squirm in your seat.

Glancing up, you meet Teahyung’s eyes briefly and note they are streaked with crystal blue. It's a startling sight that causes you to look around at the rest of the Alphas to find they are the same. Their eyes are fractured between their natural human colors and their Alpha eyes. It looks like lightning for some, and others are split in half or with one eye of each color.

The squeeze of your ankle pulls your widened eyes back to Taehyung, who shakes his eye slowly and leans forward with a tilt. The rest of the room remains silent.

Diverting your eyes back to your hands, you fiddle with the sash to your, Namjoon’s, robe and continue your story:

“In high school, when things would get nasty with the vulgar name-calling, slut shaming, and pranks my classmates would pull, it was harder for me to follow my mother’s rule to tear down the blanket fort. She would catch me and call me things like mongrel or filthy pack-rat.

“My grandmother was the same way. She used to throw me in the closet for the weekend if she found it. She made me swear that I would keep what she was doing a secret. She would do… things to me if I either left the fort up too late or told anyone of the closet, but she passed away about five years ago.

“As some of you know, my mother would follow meemaw and make me tear down the fort. She wouldn’t go as far as the closet but would do other restrictions. Reminding me of my place and worth within the family. She would have had a cow if she knew I had a fort at Evie’s house to use whenever I wanted. The habit of tearing it down is still with me to the point that, even now, I know it is still up and shouldn’t be– according to my mother.

“Aside from the restrictive socialite type raising to be prim, proper, and human, my mother was insistent on having me marry someone of stature and 100% human. Ultimately, she was delighted that I met Eric because he was from a societal class. His parents were chiefs of their respective departments at the hospital. The biggest bonus was Eric wasn’t a hybrid.

“After my very short-lived rebellion stage and deciding to date an Omega Polar Bear hybrid, she thought he was my forever. Eric was perfect– at first. I guess that should have been my first red flag. He helped my mother when she was ill and bought her a condo when we got engaged. He was so kind, respectful, attentive, but that changed.

“It started with underhanded and crooked compliments, leaving bruises from harsh grabbing to busted lips due to backhands. He was always forgiven because, according to my family, I should have apologized for doing whatever it was that was pushing him into that level of anger.

“I was with him for a long time. I thought he loved me because he got me gifts and would take pleasure with me whenever he wanted to. After we got engaged, I found out I was pregnant and was at seven weeks. I was so happy.

“I just knew that this news of a baby would make Eric happy with me again. He would treat me better because we had proof of our love. When I told him, he reacted like I had told him that I gave him every STD known and unknown to man. This was after waiting hours for him to come home from work at 2 am after having drinks with the boys.

“He punched me for the first time that night, right in the stomach where the baby was. Then he pushed outside and down the stairwell, screaming at me about how I was ugly, fat, and pathetic. He even told me to get rid of the devil’s spawn that I was carrying. I ran. Left everything behind. Evie took me to the hospital, and I ended up with two fractured ribs, an ankle sprain, and a miscarriage.”

By this point, a thrum of energy had filled the room. Barely withheld growls could be heard by only those in the room. The pack remained this way for an unknown amount of time.

Each hybrid takes in what they hear, all of them struggling with their Alpha to not go and hunt down Eric, your mom… Oh, hell, your whole family.

“Sugar,” Jungkook starts gently speaking to you as if you were a piece of glass about to break. “Thank you for telling us everything. I don’t want to diminish what you said, and I am sure that some of us have questions for you but can I share something with you first?”

You nod, grateful for the attention to be off you for the moment.

“You know the age-old saying about fucking like bunnies?” he questions with his ears coming to stand straight up on his head, attentively listening to your reactions.

“Yeah, it’s derogatory now, though,” you answer with a confused but concerned look.

Jungkook smiles at your expression, “It is now, but it isn’t inaccurate. See, I was raised in a fluffle that was a feeder to a large underground brothel. I have more brothers, sisters, and half siblings than I could name or remember. The Madam used rabbit hybrids because we have a short refractory period, and our Omegas have heats up to twice a month. So it wasn’t hard for them to accept the attention of the trick they were assigned to.”

“I presented as an Alpha Buck, around nine years old. This came as a shock because most rabbit hybrids are Betas or Omegas. I was trained in etiquette and sexual practices right away because I was so rare and would fetch a high price. I was to be used for the elite clients only and allowed to go out on dates with tricks like an escort service,” continued Jungkook, his ears twitching with each of your micro reactions.

“Jungkook, you were so young,” you mumble. He reaches out, offering you his hand, which you take instantly. You are not sure if it is him or you who is seeking the connection of comfort from the other.

“I was in the eyes of the human world. As a hybrid, once we present it isn’t considered traditionally taboo. Just like puberty signals humans that the physical body is ready for mating. It works similarly in the hybrid world, except we follow a more animalistic view and start mating or seeking a bonded mate at that age as well. However, with the new human laws in place which help protect hybrids, it is considered illegal,” Jungkook says, squeezing your hand.

“I didn’t know about the new hybrid laws because my fluffle had been a part of the underground brothel for several generations. Laws meant nothing to Madam which meant they were worthless for us to know,” he continued.

“When our agency bought me to become a trainee and ultimately join Bangtan Pack as an Idol, it took a while for the hyungs to get me to understand that we were mates and not to see them as another trick or to think that they weren’t seeing me as a pseudo-Omega. Mates, especially bonded mates, aren’t typical for rabbit hybrids because we have a hard time sticking to a single partner. I think that is why I was lucky enough to have six of them. They showed me what it meant to be a mate, to be loved, to be cherished, and to be protected,” he smiled at each of them before settling his eyes back on you.

“I understand what it means to be groomed into what someone else wants you to be and not be allowed to be comfortable in your skin, Y/n. You don’t have to be what your mother wants you to be, what your aunt or grandmother forced you to act like. With us, you can find who you want to be.” Jungkook leans forward, one of his ears folding in half as he looks at you. “You can be as cuddly as a kitty or solitary as a wolverine, and we will all be by yourself along the way.”

You can’t help but chuckle slightly as you say, “I don’t think you would make a week without cuddles, Mr. Sneaky.”

“Hey! I can go without cuddling for a week. I am not the one who has been holding on to you this whole meeting am I?” the bunny says, sticking his tongue out at Taehyung, who playfully sticks his out in return.

“Let’s not get into who is more cuddlier than the other right now. This is a pack meeting and serious topics,” interrupts the Prime Alpha. “Y/n, thank you for sharing everything with us. I knew some of if from the contract and what you shared with me last night but I can see it's much more than what I even thought of.”

“Dear, are you… do you have anything… have we done anything to upset you?” asks Seokjin.

You blush at his question because it’s not that they have ever upset you. They listened when you have spoken up so far, but there are still blurred lines that you are nervous about talking about.

“Wait, before you answer that, can I ask what happened this morning?” Jimin jumps in with puppy-dog eyes. “I thought we were alright sleeping in your nest, but then you bolted.”

“WHAT!?!” screeches Hoseok and Namjoon.

You immediately pale at their reactions and shrink into a smaller ball, pulling out of Taehyung’s grip and curling your knees to your chest. Your scent turns with bergamot that you went too far and crossed a boundary in your panic after the nightmares.

A growl from your side snaps everyone out of the now-resounding commotion of trying to explain what had happened between you and Jimin in the middle of the night.

“Cut. It. Out,” declares Yoongi. “You guys are acting as if the two of them sharing a nest is scandalous when, in fact, it is a very positive action for the two of them! It has been ages since Jimin has built a nest for anyone outside of the pack nest, and for Y/n to accept it plus invite him to share it with her for whatever her reason was… that is a step forward we all want.”

Muffled by your face buried in your knees, you ask tentatively, “You want that?

Yoongi softly runs his hand over your back, “Yes, Princess. I am sorry we haven’t been as clear as we probably should have been, but I know I am not good with words unless it’s a rap.”

“Doll,” calls Hoseok. “Can you look at me?”

You tilt your head just enough to see the marten hybrid move Jimin onto Seokjin’s lap as he leans toward you, his hands clasped lightly together. You have seen the look on his face in the rare Teacher Jung videos right before he is about to get strict with the dancers for messing up the choreography.

“There are those beautiful eyes,” he says with a smile that momentarily softens the intense look. “We have done much of this out of order– like all of it. We need to discuss boundaries with you. Since we are an established group, it is easy for us to forget that you are new to not only Alphas but to Bangtan.”

“Hoseok-hyung is right,” adds Namjoon. “We really should have said most of this before the contract was signed but it wouldn’t change anything really.”

You lift your head farther up to see the seriousness of the pack. “I would like boundaries or more like… protocols,” you agreed.

“Protocols?” questions Taehyung. Being the most dominant of the Alphas in the pack, protocols are typically within his realm of declarations.

You nod, clarifying, “Yeah. Protocols, rules, or whatever you want to call them, but with certain situations.”

“Situations like this morning with Jimin-hyung?” pushes the tiger sitting before you.

“That is one of them, yeah. I would like to know what I am supposed to do when you guys want time together or when things get intense. Then there are the times, also like this morning, when I am getting up and need something or when I wa… or whatnot,” you elaborate before you sputter your words because you didn’t know how to ask for private time.

“Let’s start with that then,” Namjoon guides, letting your stumble slide for now. “We always want time together because we are bonded mates, Angel.”

“Joon-ah, she is talking about when we want to be more intimate and do things like kissing and such,” Seokjin speaks up. “This morning, Jiminnie here was trapping her in the nest and I used more intimate means to get our cuddly panda to let go.”

“Oh, would this also be about times like when we kiss each other and flirt?” questions Jungkook.

By this time, your face blushes into a beautiful rose color, and you nod, “Yes, that. Those times. The times that should be privately held.”

A chuckle comes from Hoseok, “But we are in private, Doll. All of those actions have happened within the pack house, have they not?”

“Well… yes, they have, but I was there when two of you kissed in a sweet moment over the top of me, and then it was something heated and not so innocent with those two this morning,” you whine.

“What did you want to happen then, Naekkeo?” questions Jimin, his eyes slightly darkened with remembering your scent turning to arousal as you watched them.

“I wanted to,” you gulp. “I wanted to do what was comfortable for your mates. I don’t want to stay for something that I shouldn’t be.”

“So you wanted to stay?” asks Sekojin with a finality that makes it almost not a question.

The slip-up in your wording, of course, gets caught before you can save yourself. All you can do is widen your eyes at this implication because that is precisely what you wanted to do, but you don’t want to say it because you don’t have that kind of relationship with them like that.

“Enough, guys,” Hoseok steps in and looks at Namjoon. “Prime Alpha, do you oppose Y/n being present when affection is shared between us?”

“I do not,” answers the wolf hybrid. “I think the pack would enjoy it if you stayed, Y/n.”

A mummer of agreement comes from the rest of the pack, causing your jaw to drop. “You want me to be there? Like ogling you as if you were in a movie?”

“You can watch or you can tell us what you want to see,” Jungkook says.

“You can even move us how you want us,” suggests Taehyung. “It’s more fun when everyone present is involved anyways, isn’t it?”

You sputter at the thought, your mind throwing you back to this morning and the possibility that you could have joined in. You glance at the two cuddled on the couch. Seokjin has the small Alpha in his lap. You can see they are both thinking at the same time you are. Their eyes are equally dark as Seokjin raises his eyebrow at you. You know he is implying something, but you look away quickly.

Your eyes come to meet Namjoon, who seems to know something transpired between the three of you. He says, “Are you okay with this boundary or do you want us to hide our intimacy behind bedroom doors?”

Frowning at his question, you take a moment. Do you want them to hide from you? You are in their pack house, and it is their one safe space to be a mate-bonded pack.

Did you want to take that freedom away from them?

“I don’t want to take your spontaneity away from you and make you stay behind closed doors. I am okay with those boundaries but I want to reserve the ability to walk away without hurting anyone’s feelings,” you agree conditionally.

“I think we can accept that,” says Yoongi.

Nodding, you add, “It has been a while since I have been around such intimate gestures, and sometimes it becomes overwhelming for me– like the skinship thing.”

“Does that mean we can still get head scritches and cuddles?” asks Jungkook.

“What do you mean we? You are the only one who has gotten any of that,” whines Taehyung.

You giggle at the comment and join in, “The Tigger tiger has a point there, Thumper. You seemed to have found a fast pass to all of that.”

“Tigger? Did you just call me Tigger? After that stuffed toy thingy from the Honey Bear cartoon?” Taehyung glares at you.

“What? Sorry. You just reminded me of him when you came bouncing, sleepily into my room yesterday with your hair all flouncy and bouncy,” you giggle more as the others join in.

“So you have a Tigger, Thumper, and Kisa. When do the rest of us get nicknames?” asks Hoseok with a pout. “You are already my Doll.”

“Huh?” you look at him questioningly. “But Seokjin has called me a doll, too.”

“He did what?” Teacher Hoseok, who now you are figuring is more like Alpha Hope, slowly turns his head to the offending mate.

“It was an accident! I didn’t realize you had claimed Y/n as that,” pouts the eldest, acting more like the youngest. “I will only use Dear from now, I promise.”

“You better, hyung or not. We will talk later about you using the wrong claim,” says Hoseok.

“Sugar,” Jungkook pulls your attention to him. “We each have nicknames that we use with each other. It was decided in private, back when you went out with Seokjin-hyung, that we would each claim a nickname for you.”

“I take it yours is Sugar?” you question, and Jungkook confirms.

“I call you Princess. Hoseok is Doll with Seokjin now as Dear,” adds Yoongi.

“I call you Naekkeo,” says Jimin.

Teahyung grabs your ankles and pulls them back to his lap, “You are my Dove.”

You look to Namjoon, and he smiles, “You got named my Angel last night, Y/n.”

“Oh,” you nibble your lower lip. You are embarrassed but in a loving way, which you have never felt before. Pouting, you comment, “You all already have something picked out for me but I haven’t figured one for all of you.”

“You don’t need one until you are ready,” says Namjoon. “But back on topic, Taehyung wanted to talk to you about something of concern.”

Your eyes drop to the tiger, giving you a soft massage of your calves.

“Well, other than explaining how you ended up sleeping with Jimin to the rest of the pack, why did you not wake me this morning when you got up? Again?” asks Taehyung.

You blush again for who knows how many times this meeting at Taehyung’s choice of wording before you respond saying, “Jimin can explain how he ended up in my bed… wait that sounds just as bad as sleeping with him. We just had a sleepover more or less.”

“As you this morning, I told you that I wanted to let you get your sleep. I know how crazy your schedules can be, and I didn’t want to steal the extra time from you,” you answered.

“Y/n. You never need to be alone or let us sleep if you need something. For one, right now, I am at your service. For two, Yoongi-hyung is supposed to be helping because of your hand. For three, well, you shouldn’t hesitate to wake us, ask us questions, ask for something, or heck, you could have even crawled into bed with one of us if you needed more sleep since you had two horn dogs in your nest.”

Shaking your head, smiling, “I wasn’t chased out of bed this morning. I left because I didn’t know what to do.”

Your eyes drop to your lap as you ponder how to word your next question. It’s not long before a black tail goes under your chin, pulling you from your thoughts to look at Yoongi.

“What has you thinking so hard?” inquires the jaguar.

“If... If I were to want some private time, how would I go about that?” you ask, tentatively keeping eye contact with Yoongi. Your breath is just a hint more shallow than before.

“Private time?” asks Hoseok. “Mostly, we just close our den doors, but we never lock them in case of an emergency. I thought that was pretty obvious. Aren’t most households like that?”

Your blush deepens because Hoseok’s innocence shows, making you feel a bit pervy that you are asking what you are asking.

Yoongi is studying your face, eyes, and posture. He sees the micro changes in your expression, the emotions playing behind your eyes, and the subtle movement of your thighs as you ask your question and listen to Hoseok’s reply.

“Are you worried that we might… hear something, Princess?” he asks with narrowed eyes.

Your gulp alone is enough to answer his question. He smiles, saying, “Princess, you don’t need to worry about private times like that. It’s natural and healthy for you to have them, so it’s nothing to be shy about. We may be Alphas, we may be flirty– some of us more than others, and we may be hybrids with excellent hearing but we won’t listen to you on purpose. ”

“Jungkook does,” you whisper.

“Ah, no, he doesn’t,” comments Jungkook. “I only heard you mumbling rather loudly to yourself about something dealing with the sheet or pillow or something, which is why I sent your servant boy to you.”

Clearing his throat, Namjoon speaks up, “Y/n, we are all adults here. The quietest room in the pack house is the pack nesting room because it has soundproofing. With your den down here, hearing certain pitches would be more challenging. You would be safe in your den if you want to handle those urges alone.”

In Namjoon’s head and the rest of Bangtan, the images of you ‘handling’ those urges course through them. They couldn’t wait until the day, night, or afternoon when you wouldn’t feel the need to hide those sounds from them or when you would be making those sounds from under or on top of them, well, just anywhere as long as it was because of them.

A soft growl comes from Taehyung, who still massages your calf, and asks, “Dove, do you have what you need to deal with those– urges?”

Arousal shoots through your body at his question. Fuck is the first thing you can think. No, you don’t have things to help with that, and you were right-handed, but you weren’t thinking about actually doing anything inside the pack house.

Maybe.

However, when Taehyung asked that question, your lovely mind decided you had 70 fingers, seven mouths, and seven… yeah, no, you physically shake your head, trying to get the thoughts away. Your scent long gave away your train of thought to the hybrids surrounding you.

Jimin wriggled in Seokjin’s lap as he felt the oldest's member react to your scent along with his own, causing their pajama pants to feel a bit too tight.

Taehyung’s grip tightened into a deeper massage on your calves.

Yoongi and Jungkook squirmed in their seats, glancing at each other with heat before focusing back on you.

Namjoon licked his lips as if he could taste your scent.

“Taehyung, that is not a question that I would think that Y/n is comfortable enough answering nor does she have to,” Hoseok informs, giving you an out despite his desire to know just how you would want to handle yourself right now.

“Ah,” you gulp again, looking at Hoseok. “Thank you, Hoseok. I will figure it all out, Taehyung.”

With a slightly deeper push of Taehyung’s fingers against the inside of your ankle with one hand while the other pressed from the middle of the sole to the pad of your foot, causing an electric shock of pleasure to run from the base of your spine to the top of your head. Your eyes flutter at the feeling.

“Remember, if you need anything I can always help you out,” coys the tiger. “I give excellent massages and I know all the right pressure points.”

You, slower than you will ever admit, pull yourself out of the hold he has on your foot as you glance around the living room, waiting for someone to protest Taehyung’s very blatant offer to help you sexually, but none comes.

Not trusting your voice, you nod and stand up, pointing to your room. Then you blanch and hope Taehyung doesn’t take it as you accept said offer. Looking at Namjoon with a question-filled face, he smiles and nods, to which you, not so subtly, walk with haste and shut the door.

Fucking hell.

They mentioned that the Maknae line was the horny or flirty part of Bangtan, but this was…You said the youngest trio needed a bucket of ice water earlier, but maybe you were the one who needed the bucket.

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essjujutsu · 1 day ago

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CHAPTER SEVEN : VEGETABLE PASTA

prev , next , masterlist wc ⭑ 1k

you put your phone on your bed, checking your alarm clock.

shit, megumi would be here any minute now and you were nowhere near ready. you weren't even sure what the two of you were going to do. you really didn't want to be awkward.

you thought about what nobara said and took a deep breath, rushing downstairs to make sure everything was neat enough. normally, you wouldnt care about how presentable your house looked, but after seeing megumi's over the top perfect house—you didn't want to embrass yourself.

a few moments later, you heard a knock on your door. you quickly fixed up your hair and rushed over to the front door. you opened it, and saw megumi standing there, hands in his sweatshirt pockets. he looked effortlessly relaxed, a subtle sense of calmness about him that made you feel both at ease and a bit nervous at the same time.

"hey."

he entered with a polite greeting, his eyes drifting curiously around the house. you smiled calmly as you responded.

"hi, sorry i know the kitchens a mess...yuji asked if i could cook dinner tonight."

you replied, stepping into the kitchen and trying to move the ingredients yuji left out before he left. a wave of stress washed over you at the thought of cooking dinner; culinary skills weren’t your strong suit. your brother had always taken charge in the kitchen, and with him out late and sukuna working the night shift—the responsibility had fallen to you.

megumi approached quietly behind you, his presence calming as he spoke in a gentle tone.

"its fine, do you need some help?"

"you know how to cook?"

you asked, a bit taken aback. he seemed like the type to have private chefs or something. it surprised you even more that he was offering to help you out.

"yeah, my older sister taught me. what were you planning on making?"

“I’m not really sure.” you admitted. "yuji just set out a bunch of ingerdits we had so i woulnd't have to go to the store, but honestly it just made me more confused."

"well, you've got pasta—and vegetables. so we could make that."

he replied, grabbing the pasta and holding it up to you.

"good idea, that sounds easy enough."

"i'll do the pasta, can you chop vegetables?" he replied, tilting his head to you.

"of course i can, i'm not that bad in the kitchen."

he snorted as you opended up spotify on your phone.

"any song recommendations, chef?"

you asked, teasingly—a tone that rarely graced your lips.

"have you ever listened to weezer?"

he replied, his gaze fixed on the pot as the water boiled, steam swirling like a cool breeze in the air.

"wow, didn't take you as the type of guy to listen to weezer. you seem like the type who says they 'don't listen to music'"

"i'm actually full of suprises, y/n."

he spoke, the playfull banter lighting up the room as island in the sun played low in background.

you chopped tomatos and zucchini, words were absent, but the silence wrapped around you like a warm hug, more comforting than awkward.

"so, you exicted for this party next week?"

just as you tipped the vegetables into the pot of pasta, megumi’s voice rose above the gentle bubbling of the bowl.

"not really—you know im not a fan of partys. being around a bunch of drunk teenagers yelling at each other isn't really my idea of an amazing weekend."

he nodded, a sign of his agreement with you.

after the food was ready, the two of you sat at the small circle dining table that was tucked in the corner of the living room. megumi shared a couple funny storys of his dad satoru and his family. you told him about the time when you convinced yuji that megan thee stallion had died for a tiktok.

however, a sudden noise from outside interrupted your conversation.

as you heard the lock twist through the front door, you silently panicked. was sukuna home from work early? he wouldn't mind that megumi was over—but it would defiantly be awkward.

but the probably worse option was it being yuji, you had accidentally lied to him the night prior about who was coming over, and if he came in to see you and megumi hanging out together—

"y/n, you in here?"

the sound of your brother's voice sent a jolt of panic through you. You had to think fast, make up any excuse.

"y-yeah! just—"

"hey—wait, why's megumi here?"

"he, he came over today and we made dinner."

"i thought nobara was coming over?"

yuji looked confused, and you couldn't fully read his expression. was he mad, upset, or did he not care?

"uh, y/n?"

megumi spoke up, his brow furrowed in confusion, though he didn’t seem angry.

"i think maybe you should go home megumi, i kinda need to talk to yuji— i'm sorry."

he nodded and made his way to the door as yuji still stood in the archway to the living room looking confused.

after the front door shut, your brothers voice spoke once agian.

"why didn't you say megumi was coming over? i’m not mad, i just didn’t realize you two were hanging out like this"

"yuji! it's not like that!"

"well, sorry but it kind of looks that way."

you rolled your eyes at him, the scene reminiscent of your many childhood fights. you two were always close, but that didn’t mean you didn’t argue from time to time—this was just the first argument in a while.

you decided not to say anything more to him and headed upstairs. what didn't he understand? you hoped megumi wasn't upset, you made a mental reminder to explain to him at some point.

the night went on, and even in the small house, you succesuly didn't run into yuji for the rest of the night. each creak of the floorboards you heard in the home served as a reminder of his presence, yet you found solace in your bedroom.

as you went to sleep, you promised yourself that you would talk to him in the morning, once the both of you had a chance to cool off.

A/N : aigtphs is finally back!! sorry that it's been so long guys </3 and just a quick apology if this chap isnt very good, i wasn't really sure how i wanted to write yuji & y/ns fight but i think i got the point across! anyways thank u for reading and i hope u enjoyed :3 (not proofread)

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graynvmbr · 22 hours ago

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Heart of the Hollow | Harry Potter

pairing: harry james potter x female!reader (no use of y/n)

summary: family life with Harry

word count: 3.5k

The morning sun crept over the cottage in Godric's Hollow, casting soft beams across the bedroom where Harry lay peacefully beside you. His face, softened in sleep, held the same quiet intensity that had always drawn you to him. His hair fell messily over his forehead, and one hand remained loosely entwined with yours from the night before. You couldn’t resist tracing a gentle finger along his knuckles, feeling a surge of warmth at the small contented sigh he let out in response.

Before long, a small, familiar sound floated down the hallway: Lily was awake, her soft coos signalling she was ready for her morning feed. You slipped out of bed, reluctant to disturb Harry but eager to tend to your youngest. As you crept toward the nursery, you glanced back to find Harry’s eyes now partially open, a sleepy smile playing on his lips.

"Is she up already?" he murmured, rubbing his eyes. “I swear, she must sense you’re awake the second you are.”

“She knows what she wants,” you said with a smile, leaning over to brush his messy hair back. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

You padded softly down the hall to Lily’s room, her coos turning to delighted gurgles the moment you lifted her from her crib, her tiny face lighting up with recognition. “Good morning, my sweet girl,” you whispered, cradling her close as you settled into the rocking chair by the window. Lily latched on easily, her little fingers curling around yours, and you savoured the gentle sounds she made as she nursed, her wide, trusting eyes locked on you. You could hear the faint creak of the bed and soft footsteps padding down the hallway as Harry rose to start the morning.

When you made it to the kitchen, Harry was already up, moving about with the ease of someone who had made a habit of early mornings and breakfast routines. Soon, the smell of pancakes and hot chocolate filled the kitchen, making the cottage feel even cosier.

“Good morning to my two favourite girls,” he said, leaning in to press a warm kiss to your forehead before turning back to the stove. “Want some hot chocolate, or tea?”

“Some tea would be lovely.” you felt Lily shift in your arms, her little face brightening as she took in the cosy kitchen, her eyes wide with wonder. Just then, two sets of footsteps pattered down the stairs as James and Will made their way into the kitchen, both boys still in their pyjamas, but wide awake. At six, James was always the first to spring into action, darting over to Harry’s side to ask, “Daddy, can I help with breakfast?” He was quick to start mixing the batter, his determination and eagerness making you smile. James had inherited Harry’s adventurous spirit, always brimming with energy and ideas. You often found him with an imaginative “quest” in mind, ready to take on the world—qualities that made him his father’s son through and through.

Will, on the other hand, stayed close to your side, reaching up for a hug as he shyly took in the morning scene. At four, he was more reserved than his brother, his quiet presence a soft, gentle contrast to James’ exuberance. As you balanced Lily in one arm, you wrapped the other around Will’s shoulders, feeling his little body relax against you. His sensitivity made him especially attuned to his family, and he tended to linger nearby, content just to be close. “James, you want to help set the table with your brother?” Harry suggested, handing him a couple of plates. James took them eagerly, marching to the table with a serious expression.

“Come on, Will,” James said, beckoning his younger brother with a grin. “We have a big mission this morning!”

Will’s face brightened, and he looked to you for encouragement. You gave him a nod, and he scampered off after James, who was already arranging the plates with a soldier’s precision.

Once the table was set, everyone gathered around for breakfast. Harry poured you a cup of tea, his hand lingering on yours with a warmth that spread through you. James, always eager, launched into a story about his plans for the morning, complete with sweeping gestures and sound effects, while Will listened intently, a small smile on his face as he took in every detail. Little Lily, now in your lap, watched her brothers with wide eyes, content to be part of the family’s lively breakfast.

“I’m going to build a huge fortress in the living room,” he announced with excitement, his hands flying in wide arcs as he described it. “It’ll be so strong, no dark wizard could ever get through!”

Harry grinned, nodding encouragingly. “That sounds like an impressive fortress, Jamie. You’ll have to show me when I get back.”

Will listened intently to his brother, his eyes wide with admiration. “Can I help, James?” he asked quietly, and James nodded with a proud grin.

“Of course! Every fortress needs a good guard,” he declared happily.

Lily watched her brothers with wide eyes from your lap, her small hands reaching out occasionally as if trying to join in on the conversation. You stroked her soft hair, feeling a wave of warmth at the sight of your family, all together in this little kitchen.

When breakfast was over, Harry kissed each of the kids goodbye before pulling you aside, his hand resting gently against your cheek as he met your gaze. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he promised, his voice soft. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your lips, lingering just a moment longer than necessary. You leaned into him, savouring the quiet intimacy of the moment, before reluctantly letting him go. As he left for the Auror office, you settled in with the kids for the day, Lily nestled comfortably in her bassinet in the living room while you worked at the desk, grading assignments and responding to owls from your colleagues.

James, ever the adventurer, spent the morning flitting around the living room, narrating his latest “mission” to protect the family from invisible “dark wizards.” Lily watched with fascination, her tiny face following his every move.

“Look out, Mum! Dark wizard on the left!” James called, darting in front of you with his “wand” at the ready—a stick he’d picked up from the garden the other day.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Jamie!” you replied with a laugh, playing along. “Whatever would we do without such a brave protector?”

James beamed at you, puffing out his chest. “Don’t worry, Mummy. I’ll keep everyone safe.”

Meanwhile, Will played quietly nearby, stacking blocks and arranging toys in neat rows. Occasionally, he glanced over at Lily, reaching out to gently pat her hand, his soft-spoken nature drawing a smile from you.

When lunchtime arrived, you called everyone to the kitchen and settled them around the table. James, still caught up in his imaginary world, dove right into his food, barely pausing between bites to add more details to his story. “Even heroes need to eat,” he announced. Will listened intently, a quiet smile on his face as he looked between you and his brother. Little Lily was nestled in her high chair beside you, making soft sounds as she kicked her legs happily.

In the afternoon, the garden called to you, so you bundled up the children and stepped outside. James immediately took off running, his laughter filling the air as he explored each corner of the garden, his boundless energy sparking with every step. Will, as usual, stayed close, his small hand wrapped around yours, taking comfort in your presence. Occasionally, he glanced up at Lily, who you held close in a soft wrap against your chest, her curious eyes following her big brother’s every move.

James bounded up to you after a while, his face flushed with excitement. “Mummy! Look at all the leaves!” he said, gesturing to a pile of autumn leaves in the corner of the yard. “Can we jump in them?”

You nodded with a grin. “Go for it, love. But remember to be careful!”

With a whoop of joy, James dashed forward, flinging himself into the pile with abandon. Will, more hesitant, looked up at you with a questioning smile. “You can jump too, Will. Go on,” you encouraged him, squeezing his hand.

Will smiled, letting go of your hand as he joined James in the leaf pile. They both rolled around, laughing and tossing leaves in the air, their faces lit up with pure joy. Lily watched them intently from her spot in the wrap, her little fists waving as if she wanted to join in.

As the sun began to dip lower, you brought everyone back inside just as Harry returned home. The kids’ voices filled the air with shouts of “Daddy!” as they ran to greet him.

“Hey, everyone!” Harry said, kneeling down to pull both boys into a hug. He listened patiently as James launched into a spirited retelling of his “fortress-building” mission, nodding with genuine admiration. Will shyly tugged on Harry’s sleeve, guiding him over to a small tower of blocks he’d built. shyly asking him to see a small tower he’d built. Harry, with his usual attentiveness, listened to each of them in turn, offering an encouraging word or an affectionate squeeze of the hand.

You took the chance to prepare dinner, listening to their voices from the kitchen. Every so often, you glanced over to see Harry helping the boys with a new game or lifting Lily into his arms, making her giggle with delight. Seeing him with the children—so gentle and attentive—never failed to warm you, a reminder of all the qualities that had made you fall in love with him years ago.

Once dinner was ready, you all gathered around the table, laughter and conversation filling the air as you shared the day’s stories. James was still in “protector” mode, describing his “battle” against the “dark wizards” with great enthusiasm. Harry played along, nodding seriously as if every word was of the utmost importance.

After dinner, you led the boys upstairs, their footsteps pattering along the hardwood floor as they eagerly bounded toward the bathroom. Bath time was one of their favourite parts of the evening—a chance to wind down from the day, splash around, and fill the room with laughter.

In the bathroom, you filled the tub, the warm water quickly steaming up the small room. James, always the adventurous one, tossed his bath toys first—a few little boats, a rubber duck, and a miniature dragon he’d brought in as his “protector.” Will, more thoughtful and gentle, placed his toys in carefully, lining them up along the edge of the tub.

James was the first to hop in, splashing the water with a mischievous grin. “Look, Mum! I’m a sea monster!” he shouted, thrashing his arms around dramatically.

“Oh no, a sea monster! What are we going to do?” you teased, trying to shield yourself from the water that was already starting to splash over the sides.

Will, watching his brother, gave a small smile, then picked up the rubber duck and held it in front of James. “But there’s a hero duck to stop the sea monster!” he said, his quiet voice full of conviction.

“Ah! The hero duck!” James played along, pretending to dive underwater to escape the rubber duck’s “attack,” which set both of them giggling.

Meanwhile, Harry came in, carrying Lily in one arm. He chuckled at the sight of James, who had resurfaced dramatically with his best “monster face.” Harry gave a small laugh, bouncing Lily a bit to keep her entertained. “You sure you’re not scaring your sister, James?”

James grinned up at his father, his eyes bright. “She’s not scared of anything, Daddy! She’s like… the bravest baby ever!”

You chuckled, reaching out to pat his head. “Well, lucky for us, we’ve got plenty of brave protectors around here.”

After bath time, you dried Will off first, wrapping him in his favourite soft, fluffy towel. He snuggled close, looking up at you with sleepy eyes, clearly ready for the cosiness of bedtime. Whilst you took Will to his room, Harry stayed in the bathroom with James and Lily.

Carrying Will to his room, you felt his little arms wrap tighter around your neck, and he gave a contented sigh as you settled him into bed. As soon as he was under the covers, he scooted over to make room for you, his hand patting the bed invitingly.

“Mummy, will you tell me the story about the wise owl?” he asked, his voice a sleepy whisper as he clutched his favourite stuffed hippogriff.

You smiled and lay down beside him, tucking the blankets around him as you began. “Once upon a time, in the heart of a magical forest, there was an old, wise owl named Olwyn who knew all the secrets of the trees and stars…”

As you spoke, Will’s eyes grew wide, his little hand reaching for yours. You let him hold your fingers, his grip soft but firm, a gentle reminder of his trust in you. Every so often, he’d interrupt, asking in a hushed voice, “Did Olwyn really see the dragon?” or “What did the stars tell him?” You could see his love for stories blossoming, just as yours had as a child.

After a few more questions, his eyes finally started to droop, and he snuggled deeper under his blankets, still holding your hand. You stayed there, quietly humming a lullaby until his breathing grew slow and steady.

With a gentle kiss on his forehead, you whispered, “Sweet dreams, my wise little owl.” You slipped out of his room, softly closing the door, his peaceful face lingering in your mind as you made your way to James’ room.

James, of course, was still awake, lying under his covers but clearly wide-eyed and waiting. He shot you a grin the moment you entered.

“Mum! Can we talk about the Dragon Quest tonight?” he whispered excitedly, barely able to contain his enthusiasm.

You sat down beside him, returning his eager smile. “Of course! So, tell me, brave dragon-slayer, what’s the plan?”

James’ eyes sparkled as he launched into the details of his “mission” to rescue the golden scales and protect the kingdom. His hands waved in the air as he animatedly described how he’d outwit the goblins and cross the enchanted river without falling in.

Harry appeared in the doorway, catching the last of James’ “plans,” and leaned against the doorframe, chuckling. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out, Jamie,” he said, crossing over to ruffle his son’s hair.

James grinned up at his dad, pleased to have both of you there. “Daddy, maybe one day you can come with me! I could show you all the secret passages.”

“I’d be honoured,” Harry said with a smile, sitting on the edge of the bed beside you.

Together, the two of you listened as James drifted further into his fantasy world, his excitement mellowing as sleep began to pull him in. When his eyes finally grew heavy, you bent down to kiss his forehead.

“Goodnight, my brave knight,” you whispered, gently brushing a lock of hair from his face.

Finally, you returned to the nursery, where Lily was awake and waiting for her final feeding, her tiny hands reaching up the moment you stepped into the room. She gave a small, happy coo as you lifted her into your arms, already content with the warmth of your presence.

Settling into the rocking chair, you began to nurse her, her tiny fingers curling around yours as she looked up at you with wide, trusting eyes. Her soft, sleepy sounds filled the quiet room, and you rocked back and forth, humming softly as she fed, the peacefulness of the moment settling over both of you.

When she’d had her fill, you cradled her against your chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall of her breathing as she drifted to sleep. You lingered there, savouring the sweet scent of her hair, the warmth of her tiny body nestled close, until you knew she was completely asleep.

With the gentlest touch, you laid her down in her crib, brushing a tender kiss on her forehead. You stood by her crib for a moment, watching her sleep, feeling a quiet sense of awe at the love you felt for each of them and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this life, this home, this family.

Once the kids were finally tucked in, you returned to the living room, feeling the soft, calming warmth that settled over the house. Harry was waiting on the couch, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. He opened his arms, inviting you to nestle beside him, and you sank into his embrace, letting out a sigh as you relaxed into his warmth.

Harry wrapped an arm around your shoulders, drawing you closer as you settled in. For a while, you both simply sat in comfortable silence, listening to the soft ticking of the clock and the occasional creak of the old cottage. His hand traced gentle circles along your back, the familiar, grounding touch melting away the last remnants of the day’s busyness.

“It’s quiet now,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, with a smile that held a mix of exhaustion and contentment. “Almost feels strange, doesn’t it?”

You nodded, laughing softly. “Too quiet, but a good kind of quiet.”

Harry tilted his head, giving you that affectionate look that always made your heart skip a beat. “You were amazing today,” he said, his voice sincere. “With all of them. They’re so lucky to have you.”

You looked up, catching his gaze. “We’re both lucky, Harry. I couldn’t do any of it without you.”

He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a long, tender moment. Then he pulled back slightly, his green eyes soft and searching as they met yours.

“Remember when we used to talk about this?” he asked quietly, his hand finding yours and entwining your fingers together. “All those late nights, dreaming of what life would be like. Never thought it’d be… this perfect, though.”

You gave his hand a squeeze, feeling a swell of emotion as you thought back to those conversations, those shared dreams. “We really did talk about it all, didn’t we?” You smiled, remembering the wonder you both felt at imagining a life so full, yet so simple and grounded in love.

For a while, you both reminisced, sharing soft laughs and whispered stories, the little moments you’d almost forgotten. Harry shifted slightly, reaching to pull a blanket over the both of you, settling it around your shoulders and pulling you closer.

Eventually, his hand moved to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing a tender line along your jaw as he looked at you with that deep, quiet intensity that always seemed to reach right into your heart. “I love you,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a slow, tender kiss. There was no rush, just a quiet passion, a warmth that spoke of all the love and history you’d built together. His fingers moved gently through your hair, cradling your head as he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer as if to savour every second.

When you finally pulled back, your foreheads resting together, you felt the steady beat of his heart beneath your hand. His thumb traced gentle circles along the back of your hand, and you felt entirely wrapped up in him, in the shared closeness of the moment.

Harry brushed a few stray hairs back from your face, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder as he looked at you, a soft smile playing at his lips. “What would we do without these little moments?” he murmured, his voice warm and filled with a kind of wonder.

“Get a little more sleep, probably,” you teased, a playful grin spreading across your face.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t trade it. Not for anything.”

After a few quiet moments of gentle conversation, you both grew quiet again, simply resting in each other’s arms. His fingers traced gentle patterns along your shoulder, your breaths settling into an easy, shared rhythm as you let the peacefulness wash over you.

Finally, he scooped you into his arms, lifting you as he stood, and with a smile, he carried you to bed, where you nestled under the covers together. With his arms wrapped securely around you and your head resting on his chest, you drifted off to sleep, feeling a deep, contented love that only seemed to grow with every shared moment.

back to my masterlist

#daniel radcliffe x reader #harry james potter x reader #harry potter x reader #female!reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #harry james potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter fluff

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mak-be-ghouled · 2 days ago

Note

ghouls pairs? what about dew and phantom?

phantom wakes up in a dissociative episode, dew helps, he understands more than phantom could ever imagine. (i’ll have to write about dews own experiences with dissociation later)

read under the cut:)

phantom unintentionally running themself too thin over the last few days, they’ve just done and gotten to do so much, it’s great really, but gods they’re so exhausted.

they shuffle to their room in silence. it’s rare they sleep alone, rarer they head off without saying goodnight to the pack.

phantom didn’t really even think about it, so tired the mere thought of addressing their pack, opening their mouth to form even one word far out of their ability now.

they must fall asleep the moment they hit the bed because the next thing they know is fighting to open their eyes against the morning sun.

their body feels impossibly heavy. they can barely see through the brain fog clouding their vision.

they hear the chattering of their packmates and the clanking of dishes. they hear cumulus’ giggles and mountains belly laugh. it dies back down to a muffled conversation, phantom is just out of earshot.

they want to go join them. satanas there’s nothing they want more than to go join their pack right now, somehow even their presence would make it all better.

but phantom is stuck, mentally or physically it doesn’t matter, maybe even both. as much as they want to join their pack, they can’t bring themselves to to make the short journey to the common room, and so they just lay.

they’re not sure how long they stay like that just…frozen.

for the first time in a while phantom’s brain is quiet, and somehow that’s the most overwhelming part.

somewhere, far off in the distance, phantom think maybe they hear a knock on a door? they’re not sure and the still can’t bring themselves to call out. it sounded so far anyway, maybe it wasn’t even on their door.

but then their bed is dipping under the weight of another ghoul. there’s an unexplainable warmth radiating from the weight too.

dew doesn’t speak for a long while, doesn’t move any closer, doesn’t reach out. he knows better.

finally a tiny bit of that fog has lifted, phantom turns their head to look at dew.

really dew should’ve expected it, should’ve been prepared to be met with a gaze right through him, but he wasn’t usually the one on this side, and seeing phantoms eyes so clouded, his heart feels like it’s shattering.

“hi baby”

dew croaks out

all phantom can muster out is a hum, but dew understands, that’s all he needs.

“can i hold your hand?”

dew asks inching just barely closer

“please?”

phantom breathes out

dew takes phantoms hand into his own and their hands are so unbelievably cold. sure their a quint but this is an issue, dew doesn’t need to be a quint himself to know this. he knows how the void can seep into quintessence, has seen it happen with his own eyes on more than one occasion. he can almost grantee that’s why phantom is so cold to the touch, why they’re feeling…like this.

dew tries not to let the sadness show in his face as he increases his temperature a bit.

dew sees the exact moment when another layer of fog leaves them, their eyes still dim, but far less so now. their fingers twitch in his palms and he smiles softly.

“you with me bug?”

dew whispers

“think so”

phantom slurs out. they’re definitely still struggling, but they’re slowly coming back.

“hey love? you’re awful cool to the touch, you think it’d be nice to get under you’re nice blankets? i also brought you some warm tea if you’d like that?”

phantom didn’t even realize they weren’t under their blankets. they must have crashed out on top of the covers last night.

phantom looks up towards dew and gives him a tiny nod and an involuntary whine as they start shivering.

as much as dew hates seeing the shivers wracking through their body, he know that means they’re come back to him. he also notes their eyes are just that much clearer.

dew helps maneuver phantom under the blankets and then phantoms eyes are flickering between the steaming tea sitting on their nightstand and dew, and again suppress a whine they didn’t even know they were making.

finally, dew realizes what’s distressing the quint so much

“how ‘bout this, i’ll sit up behind you and you can lean your back against my front, that way i can help warm you up and you can drink your tea, hm? that sound ok?”

“please?”

phantom breathes

dew quickly gets himself into position, pulling phantom into himself and handing off their tea.

the moment phantom settles into dew and begins drinking their tea their jerking shivers melt into soft purrs.

dew joins in with phantoms purring and runs his hands up and down their sides and legs soothing them, grounding them.

it’ll be a while before phantom is fully present again, but they know dew is there with them, that he’ll keep them safe, that he isn’t going anywhere, and that’s all they need right now, he is the grounding force they need right now.

and dew wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. he says as much into phantoms hair, leaving a kiss between their horns.

phantom doesn’t have to say anything for dew to know how much they appreciate him right now.

#the band ghost #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #phantom ghoul #aeon ghoul #nameless ghoul fic #the band ghost fanfiction #maks writing #maks ghoul thoughts

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writing-in-strawberry-fields · 2 days ago

Text

Someone at my Side

Chapter 1: When you’re lost in the darkness

Joel Miller x Original Female Character

Content: Joel Miller established relationship for a minute. But also they have problems but are also married but not. Lost of angst. Eventually.

Warning: not even close to being done

Nic jumps from sleep with a start. The sheets that have fallen to her ankles are cool and the body next to her is warm. She takes a breath. Something is reassuring about the intimacy of the room. The familiar pattern of the sun on the bed, the cups and bottles on the nightstand, and the cheap alarm clock. Which reminds her why she woke up in the first place.

That stupid piece of shit is bleating, the noises echo in the room. Nic groans into the pillow and throws her arm out, trying to slap Joel awake. It’s not working. And of course, she’s trapped under his leg which weighs a ton in his dead sleep.

“Joel,” She mumbles as she tries to wiggle her way out from under him. “Joel. Get the fucking clock, please.”

It doesn’t seem like he’s awake yet which is frankly astonishing.

The door clocks open.

“Alarm.” It’s Sarah. She must have woken up because of the clock as well.

Nic can’t move to face the kid when she yells. “I would but your fat ass dad has trapped me.” In actuality, the yell was more of a comprehensible mumble. Nic was still half asleep, despite the clock assaulting her ears.

“I can see that,” Sarah laughs. “Alarm!”

That’s the thing about Joel. Even if the world was falling apart around them, he would always hear his daughter’s voice first. In absolutely no way did this upset Nic because if she were honest, she agreed with him. No one tells you that when you fall in love with a single parent, you tend to really love their kids.

Joel jumps up, his leg finally leasing Nic from her prison. He clumsily slaps the top of the clock and the incessant beeping finally quiets. He groans as Sarah laughs and walks out of the room. Nic flips over and watches Joel as he stretches, making some questionable noises, before turning towards her.

In a manner that is just natural for them, Joel slides his hands around her waist and her back, his face burying into the center of her chest. Her hands effortlessly find their way to his hair.

“Good morning, birthday boy,” Nic teases. Joel just lets out a gruff noise, pulling her closer and breathing her in.

“Joel,” She says, a little more awake now and he is a little more asleep. “Joel. We have to get up. Work and life and shit.” He’s unresponsive. “The sooner you get up, the quicker you come home tonight, and we have cake, and after Sarah goes to bed we can have our own little celebration.”

Joel is out of bed faster than anticipated.

He puts a shirt on (inside out but that goes unnoticed by Nic) and some jeans that are wrinkled up in the corner of the floor. Nic doesn’t have to be at work for a while so she just throws on some discarded shorts under one of Joel’s old shirts.

Her first stop on the way out of the room is the coffee pot. She pulls out two mugs and Sarah hands her sugar and milk.

“You are my favorite child,” Nic tells Sarah as she pulls the girl into a hug.

“I’m the only child you know,” Sarah mumbles into the woman's shoulder who just brushes the girl's hair and shushes her. They laugh.

“Where’s the pancake mix?” Sarah asks once Joel is out of the bathroom.

He pauses, thinks, and then sighs. “Oh, was I…” He looks over to Nic who just raises her eyebrows and takes a drink. “Yeah, I was. Sorry.”

Sarah just shakes her head and opens the fridge. It wasn’t empty just yet. They had a minute to gather their savings and get to the grocery store. It was on Nic’s list. It’s just that that was a very lengthy list.

“I was gonna make you birthday pancakes.”

“No,�� Nic gasps dramatically as she pulls herself up onto the counter. “Not birthday pancakes.”

Joel shakes his head but forgets his annoyance as Nic passes him his coffee.

“I swear. You know I don’t really like pancakes,” Joel says as he leans next to Nic on the counter. She elbows him, giving him a look that says, “Your daughter is trying to do something nice for you and I am in control of whether or not you have a good night tonight,”

“I know you don’t like them. It was for my benefit.” Sarah’s words make Nic laugh. She lifts her cup in salute to the kid before taking another drink.

Sarah takes the mug out of her dad’s hand and replaces it with a fresh glass of orange juice. He looks at her, confused at the cup switch.

“Vitamin C,” Sarah answers plainly.

“Get me a cup then, kiddo” Nic snorts. Sarah smiles and pulls out another cup for Nic.

“You get your, uh, homework done?” Joel asks and both women turn to him with a look. “Fractions?”

Sarah laughs. It had been a long time since her homework was simply fractions. Nic takes over breakfast prep as Sarah and her dad sit down at the table. She turns off the stove and grabs some plates from the cabinet. She quickly serves up eggs and carries all three plates over to the table.

“How old are you again?” Sarah asks as she starts shoveling eggs into her face.

“Thirty-six,” Joel answers. Nic whistles at him mockingly and glares at her over his mug.

“Gonna have to wear diapers soon,” Sarah jokes. Nic high-fives her for that one.

“Who says I don’t already?” Joel snarks back and Nic can’t help but tip her head back and laugh. I would still love you then, she thought to herself and then immediately gags at how cheesy her thoughts can be. She smiled and glanced at Joel who was already looking at her. He smiles briefly before chewing and stopping. He pulls something out of his mouth.

“Shell,” Joel says glaring at his daughter.

“Calcium,” Sarah mumbles with her mouth full. She smiles, revealing scrambled eggs in her teeth.

“Lovely,” Joel sighs at his kid. The sound of the loud ass garage door opening reminds Nic of the other person who practically lives here. “Is there enough for uncle Tommy?”

“Well, there would have been,” Sarah says and without a second, Joel’s brother is walking through the house.

“Ay! You’re still alive, you old fucker,” Tommy says brightly as he makes his way into the kitchen. His steps are long and it takes Tommy all of five seconds to go breezing past Nic.

“Aw, he loves you,” Sarah jokes, and Nic laughs.

“He’s dependent on me. Not the same,” Joel’s words are directed at his brother who is rummaging through the kitchen mercilessly.

“I think it’s the same,” Sarah mumbles.

“It’s definitely the same,” Tommy says loudly through the kitchen. Joel looks at Nic, expecting a retort from her but she just shakes her head and smiles. “I thought we was havin’ pancakes.” Tommy turns and looks disappointed.

“We’ll pick you somethin’ up on the road,” Joel says as he rolls his eyes, and Nic imagines he can’t believe that everyone was going to have his least favorite breakfast food on his birthday. It makes her laugh. “Concrete guys gonna be there?” Joel asks.

“Yeah, they said maybe.” Tommy opens the fridge and starts rummaging through some leftovers.

“Maybe? We can’t frame until we pour. We’re not gettin’ paid until we frame.” Joel’s voice raises slightly in frustration and also to reach Tommy, whose head is burning within the depths of the fridge.

“Well, we could bring someone else on, get the job done faster.” Tommy sniffs something in tin foil that Nic thinks is fried chicken but whatever it is, must not be too old cause he throws it in the microwave.

“No, no. I’m not splittin’ this job. I barely wanna split it with you. We could work a double.” At that Nic stares at him and stops her eating. She knows Joel can be a workaholic sometimes but he has to know how important his birthday is to Sarah. This is her day to celebrate her dad and he’s taking away a big chunk of it to work.

“Literally? Today?” Sarah asks in disbelief.

“I’m sure you could get off just a little early on your big day, honey. Right?”

“I know. I’d be done by nine. By nine, right?”

“Yeah,” Tommy mutters. He knows as well as everyone sitting at the table that it is extremely unlikely for Joel to get off work that early.

“I’ll bring back a cake. I promise.”

Joel looks from Sarah to Nic but both women have their gaze on the food that is now being pushed around on the plate. It’s one thing for one of them to be mad, but for both of them to be annoyed with Joel was hell on earth. In the new silence, the radio is clear.

“… continued disturbances in Jakarta, but are advising U.S. citizens…”

“Jakarta. Where is that, Middle East?” Joel asks, changing the subject and breaking the uncomfortable quiet.

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” Tommy says, staring at the microwave. “It’s a country.”

“Or maybe part of Asia?”

“It’s near Indonesia, no?” Nic asks, the question is aimed at Sarah because she is without a doubt, the smartest person in the house.

“Jakarta isn’t a country. Being a part of Asia isn’t mutually exclusive with being a country, and in fact, it’s the capital of Indonesia,” Sarah smiles at Nic before taking another bite of eggs.

“Shit. Hope for us yet,” Tommy says from the kitchen. At some point, he had acquired a mug of coffee and was nursing that when the microwave went off. When he opened the door, the unmistakable smell of fried chicken hit Nic, who smiled, knowing her guess was right.

“All right. Finish up quick,” Joel says, talking to Sarah. “We’ll drop you off.”

“I’m still eating my eggshells,” Sarah mumbles through her mouthful.

“You got seven minutes.” And Nic hates how she knows Joel won’t make it home by nine and how she knows he won’t buy pancake mix or a cake. Sometimes he aggravates her to no end. But right now, when she looks over at him and he’s just eating his breakfast, his hair’s a mess, and he still looks half asleep, Nic can’t help but swoon. Joel looks over at her and smiles slightly. It seemed so natural for him to remain his grumpy self but he puts the effort in, for her, for Sarah.

Joel stands, takes his plate and Nics when she hands it to him, and moves to throw them in the sink.

“Your t-shirt’s inside out,” Sarah says to her father who takes a moment to stare at his shirt with confusion before cursing. “Shit.”

“He’s losin’ it,” Tommy says as Joel runs out of the kitchen to flip his shirt. Nic smiles.

Hate for them to leave but love to watch them go.

“He’s already lost it, Tom.”

Tommy laughs as he dumps the rest of his coffee into a travel mug before making his way to his truck. Nic moves to the refrigerator where Sarah’s lunch is. Nic puts extra effort to make Sarah lunch at least twice a week. She knows that Sarah is fully capable of doing that on her own but deep down, Nic knows that she appreciates it.

Nic rummages through the junk drawer for a sticky note and pen and when she finds what she needs, runs back to her room.

When she opens the door, Joel is barely putting his shirt back on and Nic is so happy she got to see it. “Wow there. Didn’t know I was getting breakfast and a show.”

Joel gives her a pointed look but it’s all a joke. He tucks his shirt into his jeans and walks over to Nic. She wraps her arms around his neck and smiles, pulling him down for a kiss.

“Happy Birthday to you.”

“Oh no. Please don’t start with the singing.”

Nic laughs and kisses him again, on his cheek. “Happy birthday to you.” The other cheek. “Happy Birthday to Joel.”

She pauses. Staring at him as he gives her this look of admiration. She feels like she’s falling but it doesn’t matter because Joel is holding her.

“Happy Birthday to you.”

She kisses him again and he tastes like coffee. She could spend all day kissing him but they both have work and Sarah needs to get to school. Speaking of school.

“I need you to write your daughter a note for her lunch. Especially since we both know your ass isn’t going to be back by no nine o'clock.”

Joel deflates slightly and takes the stuff from her. He pauses for a moment before scribbling something down. He rips off the top sheet and hands it to her. She smiles and runs out of the room.

Nic is throwing the note into the lunch box and pushing Joel out the door when Tommy honks at them. Sarah isn’t outside so she must still be in her room.

“Sarah!” Joel shouts back towards the house and Nic turns back around and quickly makes her way back upstairs.

“Sarah. Sarah hey-” Nic stops when she sees the girl standing in Joel’s room with a handful of cash and a knife. “Wow, kid. Whatcha doin'?” Nic leans her shoulder against the doorway and just watches.

Sarah jumps around. “I was…” Nic raises an eyebrow. “I was going to fix dad’s old watch but I needed the money.” And Nic believes her. She has no reason to think Sarah is up to anything suspicious, even if the knife was questionable. Nic trusts her.

“Well common then, I’ll drive you after school so you don’t have to go walking around the city alone.” Sarah smiles and nods. Outside, Tommy honks the horn again.

Closing the door to the house, Nic sees Joel walking out of the garage carrying some tools to throw into the bed of the truck.

“Hey, neighbor!” There is an old couple next door that is always outside in the morning when Joel, Sarah, and Tommy leave for work and school. The man, Mr. Adler, is slightly clueless, and his wife… Well, Nic has seen The Visit one too many times to feel comfortable around the silent old woman.

“Oh, hi,” Sarah says uncomfortably as she moves closer to the truck. Nic throws an arm around the girl’s shoulders for support. Nic sighs, knowing that no matter how long this conversion is going to be, it’s going to feel like an eternity.

“Uh, Connie was askin’ after you, since you haven’t been over in a while,” Mr. Adler says and his voice sounds as old as he is.

“Make ’em happy,” Joel mutters as he walks back into the garage.

“I could come by after school, but just for, like, a little bit?” Sarah says and Nic laughs at how unbearable this conversation is going to be.

“Oh, she’ll take whatcha got. Y’all can bake, whatever. Speakin’ of…” The man reaches back and grabs a plate of some of the stalest biscuits Nic has ever seen. Behind her, Joel closes the garage. “We got a lotta extra here. Y’all, y’all want some biscuits?

“Dad, you love biscuits,” Sarah says with a bit of bite and Nic smiles, tipping her head back over her shoulder to look at Joel who pauses and looks over to the couple. She follows his gaze.

The old woman has biscuit crumbs sticking out of her mouth and her husband reaches over to clean it up. It’s “slightly” disturbing.

“I do. But I’m on Atkins,” Joel smiles and hugs Nic from behind, his hands around her waist.

“Bull,” She mumbles through her smile.

“Shut it, Nicole,” Joel whispers onto her shoulder as he kisses her cheek.

“On what now?” Mr. Adler shouts and he sounds like a classic old man with failing hearing.

“It’s, uh… “ Nic steps on his foot. “You know what? We gotta run, but Sarah’ll be by later. She’ll stay as long as you want. Tell ya all about Atkins,” Joel smiles and starts around the truck, opening the door for Sarah.

“Solid,” Sarah mumbles to her dad.

“Oh, don’t forget.” Nic hands Sarah the lunch she made and steps up on the sidebar to kiss the top of her head. “Do great today, Sarah.”

Sarah smiles and nods, taking the lunch box. Closing the door, Nic turns to kiss Joel again before he leaves for work.

“Be careful. Love you.”

“Yeah yeah. Love you too,” Joel rolls his eyes. Nic knows it’s because he hates it when she tells him to be careful.

Once he climbs in, the engine starts and some loud trashy pop music starts playing as the car rolls out of the driveway.

She waits until the truck is out of sight before she makes her way back into the house. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She settled into a routine with Joel and Sarah a few years ago when she moved in. They leave for work and school and Nic spends an hour doing house chores or just extra work to just help to keep the place tidy.

So taking a deep breath, Nic pushes herself off of the door and moves to the kitchen.

There is an accumulating pile of things to do, so one by one she crosses them off the list.

Start the laundry (don’t forget Sarah’s. The kid deserves a break )

Dishes

Clean up the nightstand because who knows what's growing on there right now.

Get ready for work.

6) 7)….

And Nic absolutely kicks that list’s ass.

Since the kitchen is closest, she starts with that. It’s quick work of washing plates, forks, and cups, drying them, and putting them away. It’s probably the most difficult of her tasks so Nic is not stressed about anything else.

The laundry she gathers and separates piles into, darks, and Joels versus Sarahs. Throw it in the washing machine and it is done with that task. The nightstand is not difficult work, but it’s probably the one Nic is most dreading. There are a concerning number of bottles and cans and other random crap that doesn’t belong on a nightstand.

She throws away what should have been trashed weeks ago and cleans whatever cups missed the first load of dishes. When she’s done fixing it up and wiping down the wooden surface, she moves to the closet to get dressed. Nic works a very low-maintenance job, she cuts hair. She’s not a professional hairdresser but she’s skilled and works with a therapy group of Parents of Kids with Autism.

Nic had a little sister who had autism. Carina. Nic attended a similar support group with her mom and learned a lot. Cutting hair doesn’t pay the bills but Nic’s between jobs right now and rich white moms who don’t care about their kids will give you a lot of money if they think you can make their lives easier.

Nic dresses in simple clothes, nothing flashy or congested. Dressing simply helped make her job easier.

When Nic has done everything and has twenty minutes to spare, she rewards herself. She cuts some strawberries (effectively creating more dirty dishes), covers the fruit in sugar, and throws herself down on the couch. When she grabs the remote and the TV flickers on, Nic hardly pays attention.

Jakarta comes up again in the background noise and Nic shrugs. What a coincidence, she ignorantly thinks to herself.

Soon enough she loses track of time and now she’s late. When Nic surges through the client’s doors, they are not very pleased with her tardiness.

Nic has established a theme for herself today. She was grossly late for work, she was supposed to meet Joel for lunch and she did, but they only had a few minutes before she had to leave again. And now. Nic felt overwhelming guilt as she pulled up in front of Sarah’s school…. 15 minutes late.

“I am so sorry kiddo. I don’t know what happened. I have been discombobulated all damn day, and there was this absolute bitch of a mother I had to deal with-” Nic is cut off by Sarah’s laughter as the girl gets in the car.

“It’s fine Nic. It’s not raining. Like last time,” Sarah trains off in a playful voice. Nic groans.

“Hey. That was one time!”

The drive through the city is stretches on and creates an anxious atmosphere but Sarah doesn’t seem to notice this as she gazes out the window. She doesn’t get to come into the city often and when she does, it’s a whole nother world. Living on the outskirts of Austin is nothing like being in the middle of all the chaos. Nic grew up in the city, this was her home.

The ride is silent except for the buzz of the radio which has been finely tuned to perfect by Sarah. The winding familiar streets eventually lead Nic to where she wants to go.

The Lone Star Watch and Jewelry store.

Nasir, the old shopkeeper with thinning hair and steady hands is leaning over the counter, looking through the mechanics of Joel’s old watch.

“Twenty,” He says, his accent thick. The clocks on the wall behind tick loudly and it makes Nic stressed. She loves this shop but right now she can’t help but feel uneasy.

“That’s it?” Sarah asks the price considerably lower than anticipated apparently.

“Okay, 30.”

“Don’t hustle the kid, Nasir,” Nic responds teasingly, leaning her elbow on the counter and shifting her weight to one side. She smiles at him playfully and he gives her a smile and points at her jokingly.

“Twenty’s good,” Sarah nods and smiles at the interaction between the two. Nic never pretends, how she acts with adults is practically the same as how she acts with Sarah. No bullshit.

Nic knows how important this gift is for Sarah, and how excited she is to give her dad something for his birthday. Nic knows how important Sarah’s dad is to her. The kid passes over the cash and pockets the rest. Nic gives her a look.

“It’s a spring. I’ll do it right now,” Nasir says as he turns around and finds the piece he’s looking for. He is always efficient and Nic has very little problem with his handiwork. With his back turned, Nic looks at Sarah again.

“What are your plans to do with the change?” Nic asks, keeping the question light and not making any accusations just yet. Sarah gives her a look.

“What do you think I’m going to do?”

“Buy hard-core drugs.” Nic’s tone is serious but she cracks a smile. Sarah just chuckles and shakes her head. Sometimes Sarah is just so much like Joel that Nic can’t help but laugh. Both would deny it but they are nearly identicals.

The phone in the back starts ringing and outside sirens.

One, two, three, four cop cars. Two fire trucks. Three ambulances. What the hell is going on outside? Nic thinks to herself. The ominous task force only adds to the strange atmosphere Nic has had all day and she can’t shake this feeling that something is just so out of balance. A S.W.A.T. car drives by.

“All day. I swear,” Nasir sighs, shaking his head. Nic wants to ask what he’s talking about but his wife walks out in a frenzy, the beads hanging from the doorway chattering behind her. She announces that the store is closing for the day.

“Huh?” Nasir glances up from his work to stare at his wife. She gives him a look that gives Nic chills. Nasir’s wife says something in Arabic, and while Nic failed her language courses, she knows when someone isn’t happy with their spouse. No matter the dialect.

“We’re done for today.” She flips over the closed sign against the door in an angry manner. Nic stands up straighter, the woman’s hostile attitude putting her on edge.

“It’s 3:15, we close at 7.” Nasir gestures to the clocks around them and then turns back to Joel’s watch. She tells him something that Nic doesn’t understand before taking Sarah by the arm.

“I’m very sorry. He cannot finish.” But the way the woman is holding Sarah makes Nic uncomfortable and she makes an effort to move between the two.

“I’m already finished,” Nasir responds, his wife is not happy with him and demands the watch, throws it into Nic’s hands, and ushers the two customers to the door.

“You two should go home.”

The door closes behind them and the curtain is drawn. Uncomfortable, Nic practically gets a speeding ticket racing home. Sarah doesn’t seem too bothered which is some comfort to Nic.

She parks in the driveway.

“Alright. You might want to get over to the Adlers. You’re late,” Nic hears the hypocrisy and snorts to herself. Sarah doesn’t quite move out of the garage yet and Nic turns to the girl.

“Could you pick up ice cream? Like backup ice cream. In case dad forgets a cake?”

Nic tries not to wince as she nods. Sarah smiles sadly before moving over to the neighbor's house. Nic watches her walk to the door, and the kid waves at her before entering the house. Mrs. Adler (not Grandma Adler) also waves. Nic shifts the car into reverse and is back out on the road.

And Nic buys the best fucking ice cream she can find. While she’s out at the store she also makes sure to buy some more eggs and pancake mix. She chuckles to herself while checking out. She can never be somewhere on time and Joel for the life of himself, can’t remember a damn thing. A pair made in fucking heaven.

When she gets home, she fills her arms with all of the bags because Nic believes that two trips are for the weak. She had gotten her EBT points and had splurged on a fancy dinner for her and Sarah. Potatoes, asparagus, and the best cut of ribeye the meat section at the grocer’s had to offer. The two and a half hours that Sarah spends next door are filled with frying and chopping. The kitchen smells divine, especially after Nic updated Joel’s spice rack. (“You have to have more than salt and pepper Joel.” He smiles. “We have Cinnamon.”)

The door opens and Sarah throws her bag down next to the door.

“Smells delicious,” Sarah says dramatically as she sits down at the table. Nic smiles as she turns off the stove and moves to the designated serving section of the kitchen.

“Well, you are just in time sugar. Cause mama’s done cookin' up in this bitch.” (Nic might have taken a shot or two while cooking.) But Sarah just laughs as Nic brings the plates over. Regardless of the alcohol in her system, the food was perfect. The two eat mainly in silence due to how quickly they’re just shoving this food into their mouths. To be fair, it was a fantastic meal.

Nights like these have become more common over the years when Nic makes dinner, sometimes with Sarah’s help, and they eat, watch TV, talk. It’s nice. Sarah has become like a daughter to Nic, and it’s cliche to say but it’s true. Every band concert, soccer game, and dance, Nic is there to cheer her on and help her up when she falls. And Sarah has been so supportive of Joel and Nic’s relationship. It was hard at first, Mother’s Days were difficult, still are, but waking up to breakfast in bed the past two years or so was a treat. Sarah has a mother, but sometimes it’s nice to have a mom.

After dinner, Nic is laying on the couch, channel surfing, next to Sarah who is working on her homework. The few times Nic glances over at the kid’s work, she gets a headache. Definitely not fractions.

Time passes faster than anticipated and soon enough Joel is an hour late. Maybe he’s been hanging around Nic too much. Sarah finished her homework and was now flipping through a magazine, her head resting on Nic’s lap.

Nic remembers as a kid when she would stay up reading, her father would yell at her, saying there wasn’t enough light in the room and that she would hurt her eyes. She wanted to tell Sarah about it but the News on TV caught her attention.

“No comment today from the Austin Police Department regarding a rash of violent incidents across the city, some suggesting a new street drug may be to blame. More on that when we return, with Manuela Sanchez reporting live…”

The sun had long since set and the TV was the only light when the sound of the doorknob turning caused Sarah to sit up.

“You locked the door for once.” Joel’s voice is tired and his steps are heavy as he walks through the door. “Good job.” Sarah looks unimpressed and Nic just stares. It’s important to show up for your kids, especially on important days like today.

“Yeah,” Sarah sighs and sits up more on the couch. Nic reaches over to the coffee table to grab the remote and mute the TV. Joel throws himself down between Sarah and Nic.

“It’s 10,” Sarah says expectantly.

“I know. They… gave us the wrong size for the headers. That doesn’t mean anything to ya. I’m sorry,” Joel looks over at Sarah with sad eyes but she’s relentless.

“Where’s the cake?”

Joel’s reaction is instant. He pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and groans. “Shit.”

“C’mon, man,” Sarah cries disappointedly. Nic puts a hand on Joel’s back and she rubs it softly. Joel sits back up.

“I’ll get us one tomorrow.”

“Swear, or you don’t get your present,” Sarah says.

“You got me a present?” Joel’s instant mood change is hysterical. And he turns towards Sarah. “Swear.”

“On my life.” Joel has this smile on his face that he only reserves for Sarah, it almost looks like he’s a kid again with the joy that comes into his eyes.

Sarah nods at Nic who slowly, so as not to draw any attention to herself, stands from the couch and moves to the kitchen. She finds some old candles that are practically melted down into nubs and rummages around through the junk drawer for the lighter. By the time she makes it back into the living room, Joel is laughing and holding his watch while Sarah just watches her dad in admiration.

“Besides, it’s the thought that counts. And you were never gonna do it for yourself, so.”

“Thank you,” Joel says as he starts to put the watch on his wrist. He must catch the might of the candles cause he looks over and there’s a look on his face of something that is a pure mix of shock and contentment.

Nic holds a bowl of ice cream with a crooked candle in the center as she sits on the table across from Sarah and Joel and starts to sing.

“Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Joel/Dad, Happy Birthday to you!”

Joel laughs and goes to blow out the candle. Sarah is ecstatic.

“No!” Joel gives Sarah an incredulous look. “You can’t just blow it out. You have to make a wish.” Sarah’s voice is harsh but she’s smiling and she’s looking at her dad like he is the only person in the world that could ever possibly matter.

Joel rolls his eyes, closes them, waits for a beat, and then blows out the candles. Sarah claps as Nic moves the couch and pulls out three spoons from her pocket and passes them out.

“Oh! There’s one more,” Sarah says as she reaches behind a couch cautiously and reveals the DVD. Curtis and Viper 2. “Borrowed it from the Adlers.”

“Oh, this is the one with the deleted scenes.” Joel takes the disc and admires it, flipping it around, almost as if to check if it’s real.

“No way,” Nic gasps, taking it from him. He gives her a stupid pouty face that makes her smile. She can’t believe she’s holding this ancient artifact of a movie. (She’s exaggerating of course, but things of this crudity aren’t allowed anymore. It’s exciting to have the opportunity to watch it again).

“Yeah, imagine how bad those have to be. C’mon, pop it in. While it’s still your birthday.”

Nic throws the disc into the DVD player and reclines back on the couch on Joel’s other side. He moves and groans dramatically. Sarah’s head is resting on his opposite shoulder. It’s just Sarah, Joel, and Nic on the couch, huddled together like it’s gonna get cold and the intro to the movie starts to play.

“Don’t fall asleep.”

“‘Course, I won’t,” Sarah says. “It’s too riveting. And I have to finish my ice cream.”

Nic snorts and before long is falling asleep to the sounds of gunshots, explosions, ninjas, and the lingering taste of ice cream.

#joel miller #the last of us #angst #oc #reader insert #ellie williams #pedro pascal #tv shows #bad writing

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kedreeva · 9 months ago

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When I first got Stan, I wasn't sure he'd make it more than a few days, but he did. When I first took him to the vet as a baby, they told me not to expect him to make it to maturity, but he did. The last time I took him to the vet, a different vet from his usual vet saw him and had to sort through the list of known health issues to get to what was wrong this time, and was impressed he was even alive, and that was over a year ago. He's beaten a lot of odds, he's gone farther than even the most hopeful of speculation.

Unfortunately, a line in the sand comes for any animal Time doesn't take. For us, that line was him losing his ability to walk, or his ability to see, and both have been slowly worsening over the last year. Today, it has finally come down to the latter, as his vision has gone completely in his remaining good eye. For peafowl, that's a hard-line quality of life factor- it affects their ability to get food and water (which would mean stressful and uncomfortable tube feeding sessions 3x a day), as well as their ability to move into or out of shelter, and their ability to socialize. As they are HIGHLY social creatures, feeling like he's constantly alone would be absolutely miserable for him. I can't put him through that and still call myself a responsible owner, so he'll be going in for his final vet appointment tomorrow afternoon.

I know a lot of you have loved Stan over the past 7 years, and I know you're going to miss him nearly as much as I will. He's been a Very Good Boy, and this place is just not going to be the same without him.

#stan the peachick #animal death for ts #pet death for ts #pet death #animal death #my pets #i moved him into the sun for now to warm up #but he's clearly not doing well #2024 can fuck off right now #it has not been kind to me #peafowl #peacocks #i HATE people that don't give a shit about the genetic health of animals they breed #i hate people that perpetuate health problems because a mutation is pretty #this is a direct result of poor breeding #and I'm furious about it

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milflewis · 2 years ago

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very important question. how does lewis deal with vals coffee breath? does he carry around a box of mints? gum? does he just endure it?...

oH hmm. lewis DOES chew a lot of gum now that i think about it. mb he makes valtteri eat mints (they played nine rounds of rock paper scissors over the issue and lewis won six so) and sometimes valtteri forgets them or decides to annoy lewis that day or mb just likes the little grimace nose wrinkle lewis does when he kisses valtteri and tastes coffee. it makes him laff n laff n laff which never not makes LEWIS laff and then they’re giggling !

#they slept together after the last race in 2022 and val woke up first. making himself a cup of coffee half asleep. he sits back down on the #bed. boxers now on. coffee in hand. blinking awake only to have a warm nose press into the small of his back. hot breath on his hip #they hadn’t talked about it last night. between hot deep kisses and hands down pants and knocking into walls. they hadn’t talked about them.#he stays v v still for ages. not daring to move. tho he does drink his coffee. when lewis wakes up the sun is mostly into val’s room. the #curtains left open from the. night before. he wakes up slowly like val has seen him before bc despite what he likes to think lewis is Not a #morning person. pushing himself up on one elbow. leaning over val’s shoulder. his mouth is soft and tastes stale when he kisses him easy.#hmm. lewis frowns. dropping his head into the curve of val’s neck. u taste like coffee. i don’t like coffee.#well. valtteri says. exhaling. he pushes out his hips. jerking them up into the air. his dick still half hard from when he woke up #i know smth that might taste a bit nicer #valtteri has always liked making lewis laugh. it’s even better. he finds out then. doing it when they’re still sleep warm n loose n kissing #valewis #sorry about the tag fic lmao i am v bored #clara tag #niamh.asks

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drgnflyteabox · 2 months ago

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can't get much better

pairing: ghost / simon riley x fem reader summary: simon is forced to take some time off - he makes the most of it. tags/warnings: very soft, pregnant sex, size difference, softdom!simon- he's a masculine man who doesn't let his lady lift a finger :'), oral (f), one (1) butthole kiss, dacryphilia, daddy kink (sigh), minor minor foot stuff, allusions to injuries and chronic pain, title from an adrianne lenker song w.c: 2.5k

You try very hard not to think about it, but it's hard not to notice how massive he is.

Even shirtless, he somehow looks bigger, muscles flush with heat and exertion under the sun. He toils and breathes hard like an ox, working while you sit on the porch wrapped in his big flannel. Wearing his clothes is like being swaddled in a blanket straight out of the dryer, warm and nostalgic and syrupy with love. It leaves you feeling some type of tender. You're afraid of that feeling sometimes, of how soft it is and how soft it makes you. He could ask anything of you, and you'd yield like he was pressing his thumb into a bruised peach.

You have.

"How are you two?" Simon is so quiet when he wants to be. One would think he'd clomp like a horse with how big he is, but he can float like dust. It used to startle you, but you've been sinking deeper into the memory foam mattress of this life with him and it doesn't anymore.

"Tired, even though I'm not doing anything," you squint at him through the late afternoon sun. It haloes him like an angel.

"You're growing my baby in there, love. That's not nothing," his voice is rough, it always will be. But it's rough now like earth and soil rather than rough with pain and smoke the way he'd sounded when you met him.

You're feeling especially nostalgic, it seems, not like it's hard here. His hand is warm on your belly.

"I guess so," you let him pet you for a moment. Your stomach is swollen but not as big as it'll get, just enough to veto pants. A few months to go still. "How's your back?"

"Argh," Simon says, taking a heavy seat next to you. Dismissive and yet he groans a little when his muscles unclench. Classic.

You slowly reach up and nudge him until he's facing the field opposite to you, face toward the golden afternoon sun and his back to you. He's never asked you to do this, to take care of him, but it's your favourite thing in the world.

His back is always rock-hard no matter how many times you take your knuckles and fingers to it. Just a condition of a hard life lived for him, countless falls and impacts and pushing through injuries. There's a slight slant to his spine now that isn't there in the pictures he's shown you of his youth, but the stiffness is the same. You might've said he was born to be a soldier, had you not known him as a father. He could do both, but - you'd never say this out loud - you were privately grateful for this injury. It wouldn't take him out forever, but the recovery would be long. Long enough to get the homestead started, to get you pregnant.

Simon would never be completely still. This was compromise. Sweet compromise, a life started and time with him you could think back on the next time he shipped out. Making the most of things, he would always say. Making the time count.

"That feels good, love" he groans. Bending forward slowly, relaxing, he's like an aloof stallion finally accepting an apple from your hand. Acquiescing. Showing you his back. It's trust, and you savour it.

"I bet it does," you tease back, just a little. Your fingers are nimble and attuned to his specific aches and pains. "Are you hungry for dinner?"

"I'm hungry for something," he turns, slowly, hands reaching for your thickened waist. Huge, work-roughened hands. War-roughened hands, holding you like a delicate egg. Sometimes it feels like he's the only thing that holds you together; all your pieces, everywhere, until he's holding you.

Kissing him is a contact sport. It's his hands moving, cupping your breast and then your pussy through your panties, your own hands wrapping around his broad shoulders like he's the only thing keeping you from drowning. It's open-mouthed, breathing into each other. Impossibly, you get softer, melting like ice on a hot day.

Before you can lean back on the bench, he stands and lifts you with him. He's still hot from the day, damp with sweat, pushing you into the house while kissing you still.

"Simon-" you start, with no goal in mind. "Please."

"I've got you, love," he murmurs. He always does. Before you know it, you're laid back onto the plush armchair in your living room. Simon knows this is the most comfortable place for your newly-aching body. Affection swells in your chest uncontrollably and comes out through your eyes leaking down your face. Sure, pregnancy makes people emotional - but you're still embarrassed, touched by how considerate he is.

"It's alright, shh," he thumbs the tears at the corner of your eyes. His cock tents his work pants, aroused by them. "Let me take care of you."

The next words he murmurs are into your cunt, right over your panties, tongue laving over the already-wet fabric. "Just need your daddy, don't you?" You clench in tandem with his words, hot all over, skin prickling. He pushes your dress up, bunching it right under your tits.

It's reminiscent of how you spent the first night with him, on the very first day you'd met. Hurried, his big head between your thighs and clothes hanging off you still while he made you fall apart.

He's fucking good at it, too. Pulls your panties to the side and builds up the pressure with which he sucks on your clit, softly and then harsher until you shake. You've been extra horny lately, always wet around him and always so swollen. The scrape of his five-o-clock shadow against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh is what tips you over, clamping his head tightly and shouting your orgasm into the heady summer air.

"That all it takes?" Simon grins, chin wet, fingers moving from your hips to your pussy to gently rub along your slit.

"Give me a second, please," it's humbling how quickly you come nowadays. Quick and intense. Fireworks.

You set your foot on his shoulder and he turns towards it, kissing your ankle. Patience is rare with him, something come about only since you confirmed your pregnancy. You miss being overwhelmed by him, miss the nights where he'd guide you over the edge one, two, three times in succession.

He pushes now, just a little, not waiting for your go-ahead but watching you intently. His fingers spread your cunt in a V and he puffs a breath on your sensitive clit. You jump. He grins again, leaning down to lick you, using one hand to hold both your legs under your knees and push them until they meet the soft bump of your belly.

"Hold them there," he says. It's spoken not to you, but to your hole, which he spears his tongue into. You obey as you're helpless to do, holding your legs up and giving him an unimpeded view. It's more than vulnerable, it's not only baring yourself to him completely but giving him the authority to do what he wants. What you need.

Simon eats you out like it's a kiss, slurping you down and letting you leak until the evidence of your weakness to him is all over you. Your legs are wet, and it drips down onto your other hole. He pushes a thumb into your cunt, dipping it in and out.

"Needed me, did'ya? Watched me all day," he's so smug, sometimes. His lips find your bare foot, kissing your sole. "Been wet like this all day?" His other hand finds the meat of your asscheek, spreading you open further, letting the split of you open to him. He leans down, kissing your inner thigh, then your other hole. You whine and clench your pussy around his thumb.

"So needy," he murmurs, finally finally moving back to your clit. Flicks his tongue over it, something that might've been teasing before but is intense now. Your hands tighten against your legs, head thrown back.

"Oh please- Simon!" You shout again, abs drawing up, stars in your eyes. "Ahh- I'm-"

"I know, honey," his lips suction again around the hard little pebble of your clit, eating like a man starved.

This is how he likes you. Losing control, coming apart, helplessly vocal against the onslaught of his tongue. No matter how many times you've done this, it never gets old. The release almost always makes you cry, especially intense like this. You're wet all over, face and cunt and legs. He is, too.

"You still with me, love?" He pets your flank like you're a horse.

"Yes," but that's not what he wants.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Good girl," and fuck if that doesn't always fill you with warm fuzzy energy. Wipes your brain, keeps you soft and floaty.

He guides you up and out of the armchair, lifts you into his arms when your legs shake too much. That electric feeling is still coursing through you, tingles in your extremities as they come back to life.

The hand he strokes over you is half affectionate, half proprietary. You've been his since the first time he laid eyes on you.

He reminds you of it as he sets you down gently on the bed, your hair a halo around your head and hands reaching to his face where you pull him down for a kiss. Hands find his shirt, pulling it off you, and then the dress. Fingertips touch the headboard, your arms stretching up, making room for him. Slips your panties down your legs.

It's a lingering, indulgent kiss. Breathing each others air, gasping into his mouth, he puts his elbows by your head and lays as much weight down as he can without cramping your full belly. He's as vocal as you, groaning and rutting like a dog.

"Ready for me, sweet girl?" He leans out of the kiss, sitting back on his heels. You nod, desperate and pulsing between the legs again like you didn't just come twice.

"Daddy's gonna take care of you, don't you worry," he rearranges you like a doll, turning you to your side and getting between your legs. A pillow is tucked under your belly, and he tests your flexibility by holding your leg tight to the length of his body. Your hamstring burns a little with it.

A hand holds your knee, another to your waist. His jeans scrape against your sensitive skin.

You focus on little details. His scar, touching his eyebrow and splitting through his nose, ending down by his jaw. The knuckles on his fingers holding your knee, and how rough the pads of his fingers feel on your waist. This man has never had soft hands in his life. Those same hands capable of so much force, so much violence, the very same that hold you and guide you. A shepherd, you his lamb.

The weeping head of his cock kisses your hole, catching there and traveling up. He taps it against your clit until you're tensing, whining, needy again. Tears down your cheeks.

He steadies you, pets your waist, guides his cock inside and it feels like you can breathe again. His mouth laves hot kisses over your ankle, the sole of your foot again, reverent and controlling all at once. The stretch burns - it always does, and maybe always will. Simon is just so big, thick all around and the mushroom head of him could always bump your cervix if he's not careful.

He's careful now, but only just. You can sense his control fraying, his hips driving forward steadily but his thighs tensing and his grip getting meaner. This is your favourite part. Watching him sweat, breathe hard, taking his pleasure in you.

"Yeah-" he cuts himself off with a long, drawn out groan. Deep, from the bottom of his belly and out. "Already so full of me, aren't ya? Can't get full enough."

You plead with your sounds, words out of your grasp. Your hands clutch at the sheets but it isn't enough. He's solid, he's your anchor, but he's losing himself in your cunt and you're free falling.

"Play with your tits for me," he commands, pumping faster. You're reflexively tightening around him, clit jumping for attention, squeaking each time he lets himself in as deep as possible and touches the mouth of your cervix.

Sunlight slowly fades on the bed, the last golden rays escaping out the window as you're bathed in dusk.

There's nothing to do but obey, hands finding your swollen breasts and squeezing. They've been sore and huge, like that week before you get your period only it's been a couple months. None of your bras fit anymore.

Simon appreciates it, he loves it. Has you cooking for him with your tits out, nipples peaked and pussy leaking. They bounce, now, stopped only by your hands pinching and twisting. It's insane - no one in the world could replicate the feeling. No artist, no musician. Electricity zips from your breasts down to your clit and shit - you might come just like this, untouched, just full of your man and fondling yourself.

"Fuck, I can feel you squeezing me. Fucking," he pants, leaning over you, bending your leg. "Pinching my dick, sweetheart. Your pussy's so fucking good."

The orgasm begins in your toes, tingling. Your muscles tighten, drawing up, up, towards your cunt, which is making obscene sounds around him.

Simon sees the signs, sees your eyes rolling and your body going taut. He abandons your leg in favour of rubbing your clit with two big fingers quickly, up and down.

"That's it, sweetheart, come all over my cock. Go on," his voice is a snarl, barely distinguishable as human, beastly. "Be good for daddy.”

It's like the crescendo of an orchestra, like a summer afternoon in august, like waking up without a clogged nose after being sick, it's - really fucking good. You're near sobbing, crying out his name, abandoning your tits to reach for him desperately. He meets you halfway, shuddering his own orgasm into you. The press of his hips against yours is better than buttered toast, the delicate press of his chest against yours as he lets your leg go is bliss.

"Si-imon," you slur, hands on his cheeks. He laughs and kisses your forehead.

"What's that, sweet girl?"

"I love you," you cry a little more then, feeling him pull out and lay next to you. You're boneless.

"I love you too," his arm reaches across you, pulling you into him. "Both of you." Hand on your belly again.

"That was insane," you pant. He barks a laugh against your hair. "I'm serious."

"I know you are, love," he kisses your forehead, petting your stomach. You can tell it's meaning, can feel the gratefulness behind the kiss. He's saying thank you, for staying with him, for making him a father. Your hand finds his, squeezing back a wordless reply. Of course, it says.

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angel-sweets666 · 5 months ago

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Sleepy

shota aizawa x afab/fem reader

aizawas always sleepy, what else is he always feeling? Horny

warnings: p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), slight breeding kink, slight praise kink. Sleepy sex, oral f and m receiving,grinding, hand job, fingering Mdni PLEASE. IM TRYNA PROTECT UR INNOCENCE.

a/n I FUCKING SCORED WITH THAT AIZAWA PIC. Tysm Pinterest 😍😍

Aizawa grumbled as he rolled over, the light from the sun spilling into the room past the curtains. He draped an arm across your waist, using his thumb to rub your tummy. Aizawa buried his head into the back of your shoulder, leaving gentle and warm kisses. “Wake up…” he whispered softly as he tried to wake you up “please darlin’” he pat your belly to wake you up. You whines and rolled over to face him “wha?” You tried to rub the sleep from your eye, aizawa grabbed the back of your head softly and pressed your face into his broad chest while his free hand rubbed your back “mornin darlin’” he leaned down to kiss your forehead, his stubble rubbing against your skin “morning…” you mumbled back, a slight giggle came out of you.

aizawa rolled over and brought you with him, making you lay on his belly and chest. He looked down at you sleepily and smiled “your so pretty like this..” he said as he cupped your cheek, you leaned into the warmth of his palm “so pretty..” he admired you. Aizawa found you to be the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. A familiar warmth began to form in his belly, you could feel the hardness under you; your face turning pink.

“noticed did ya?” He mumbled against your skin, tickling you with his breath “yeah…” you replied, your face becoming pinker and pinker. “Do me a favour would you darlin’?” He grabbed you by your underarms with his large hands and sat you up. He looked up at you, raising an eyebrow to ask for consent. You nodded and smiled, giving him the green light to continue.

Aizawa firmly grabbed your hips, pressing his hips against yours. You whimpered at the contact of his hardness so close to your warmth. His hands began to move your hips against his, a grunt escaping his throat. You moaned softly, feeling his dick pressing up against you. “G-good girl.. good girl.” He let out, his grip on your hips becoming tighter and tighter. You squeaked as he rutted against you “mmph.. hold on..” he pulled you away from his hips, taking the time to pull his boxers off. “Be a good girl and suck me off will you?” He asks, freeing his dick from the cloth. You nodded and climbed to a more comfortable spot right between his legs. Aizawa sat up so he could watch you. You licked the base to the tip, a groan coming from aizawa. You kept licking the side of it, before taking the whole tip of it into your mouth. He groans loudly and grabs a fistful of your hair, pushing your head down on his dick. “Mmph..” he let go once you found a pace that wouldn’t make you choke on it.

you slowly pulled his length out of your mouth, using your spit as lubricant you slowly began to stroke his dick. Aizawa groaned and leaned onto your shoulder “so good… such a good girl..” he lightly pulled on the ends of your hair, leaning in to kiss your cheek. As you pumped his dick his breath became hitched, deep grunts turned more into desperate whines. Eventually cum spilled from the pink tip of his dick, he panted slightly and reached to scruff your hair “your turn now hm?”

you found yourself gripping the bedsheets under you as his tongue went deeper and deeper inside your core, his large hands gripping your thighs to keep them apart. Aizawa pulled his tongue out of you to lick your clit, drawing a whine from your throat. “You always taste so good..” he mumbled, sticking two fingers into his mouth before sliding them inside of you. You moaned and arched your back “please please-“ you whined,Squeezing your eyes shut. “Shhh it’s okay, your doing so good for me darlin’” he pumped his fingers inside of you, curling them in certain places. Aizawa leaned back down to lick your clit, gazing up at you to watch your reaction. You clamped your thighs down on his head “I’m close.. I’m close..” your breaths became ragged as aizawa pulled his fingers out of you, replacing it with his now much harder dick.

both of you let out a pleasured moan before he impatiently began to thrust inside you “g-gonna.. put… a baby in my good girl…” he leaned down to kiss your neck, you moaned and gripped his back, leaving scratch marks on his already scarred back from fighting as a hero. His pace became quicker and harder “cmon cum with me…” he mumbled, his dick stretching you out. His thrusts became sloppy after a minute, signing that he was close. He bottomed out balls deep into you and then filled you up with cum.

both of you panted, you looked up at him “round two?” You smiled “I have work darlin’ sorry” he pulled out and kissed your cheek, helping you put some clothes back on after cleaning the two of you up.

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risuola · 5 months ago

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ENTRY #11 ♡ F. READER X GOJO SATORU // I starve for your touch yet fear to savor it.

contents: arranged marriage!au, nudity, reader discretion is advised — wc. 1690

a/n: there was no way i wouldn't write a fic based on this picture. just no way.

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Satoru loves to sleep naked.

The beauty of his innate technique, the blessing that he mastered to no end, has stripped him off one of the most basic human needs — touch. He wasn’t missing it that much, he thought, but there was something in letting go of everything and allowing himself to be wrapped in the silky layers of bedsheets that made his body crave the feeling.

He has always picked expensive garments, the ones with soft fabrics and luxurious feel, despite everyone telling him it’s unreasonable to spend so much on a shirt or a pair of trousers, but to him, it did matter. To him, that was the only thing touching his body when a thin layer of infinity effectively forced everything else back. To Satoru, touch was forbidden, threatening. It was a vulnerability that he, the strongest, couldn’t afford.

But that until he’s met you. Until he’s married you.

You were one of not many people he’s made an exception for. You were able to touch him whenever you wanted because the protective surface of endless matter let you in. Because he himself altered his technique to make you capable of laying your hands on his body.

He longed for your touch. So soft, and delicate, and warm. He craved more of it and yet, despite being shameless and confident, he has not allowed himself to sleep bare even once since the day you and him were bound by the knot of matrimony. It would cross boundaries he wasn’t sure you’d wish to cross; it would make you uncomfortable, awkward maybe — and he liked the way your relationship looked like now. He liked the late evenings you talked quietly, alone and intimate in the warm embrace of sheets and your own house.

For you, he let go of the way he used to sleep before because you were worth the sacrifice, but now, you were gone for few days. You were sent on a mission away from Tokyo and the hours Satoru spent alone in bed, thinking of nothing more but your fingertips on top of his skin, made him desperate — and so, he allowed himself the comfort of soft cotton and silk.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You were tired. Exhausted even, by the intense fight you had to pull through, by the uncomfortable nights spent in the dingy hotel room, by the humid weather and rains. In moments like this, there was nothing you envied more in the world than your husband’s ability to warp from one place to another, but you got lucky. Incredibly so, because Ijichi offered you a ride home two days earlier than you were supposed to head back and you thanked all gods and devils for that man’s kindness. He was willing to put on some more road just to get you home.

“Thank you so, so much, Ijichi,” you kissed his cheek — a ghost of a peck that made him all red and steamy and you felt giddy for a moment, seeing the tips of his ears turn crimson. Adorable. You liked him, he was dutiful, polite, trustworthy and constantly terrorized by your husband, so you were determined to at least be the Gojo he likes.

“You’re very welcome,” he mumbled and fixed the frames on the bridge of his nose, pushing them up with the tip of his pointer finger. “Have a good rest.”

“You too, Ijichi.”

Then, he was gone and you were stepping into the house with a deep sense of relief washing over you. Home sweet home. If you were to guess, it was most likely somewhere around 4 am, way too early for anyone to be up — especially your husband — so you gave it your all to stay as quiet as possible. The sun was just showing its first rays from way below the horizon line, crawling up with golden hues and breaking the nightly, navy darkness.

On your toes you moved across the house. It seemed as if Gojo was spending his time alone quite ordinarily — you saw a modest stack of empty takeout boxes, much less humble pile of candy wrappers and his uniform jacket thrown over the couch backrest, along with few other little items that you struggled to differentiate in the nocturnal haze.

You put down your bag, hung up your coat and pushed off the shoes. Ghosting your way towards the bathroom, you were desperate to wash away the combat residuals. You lathered up the shower gel in a rush, desperate to rest and sleep in the comfort of your own bed and then, wrapped in the towel, you tippy-toed to the bedroom, but—

“Came back earlier?”

—you truly didn’t expect to be met with a sight like this. Your husband was awake, just barely, most likely awaken by the water running in the bathroom. His eyes were closed, hidden underneath his forearm and shielded from the lights that were slowly creeping inside, between the dark curtains and onto his face. His body seemed relaxed between the sheets. The softest, gentlest lines of golden glimmer that painted its patterns over his uncovered chest and leg, his hip and one of the muscular arms. The duvet was covering less than half of him, hiding a part of his stomach, the other leg and—

“You’re staring.”

Satoru didn’t even have to look at you to know that your gaze was lingering on his frame. On his very, very naked frame, just barely concealed by the comforter.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks and reaching the tips of your ears and you thanked the darkness for hiding it away. You walked around the bed, hoping to find your pajama where you left it and trying to force your head out of the gutter. You heard your husband letting out a deep exhale and then, a soft hum. His voice was as melodic as always, though you could tell how much sleepiness was laced into it.

Satoru should’ve notice you when you entered the area of your house, but he didn’t. Tired by his own job, by the classes and all of the meetings, he allowed himself to lower his guard and when he realized you’re home, he contemplated for a moment getting up and dressed, but he just didn’t want to.

“You’re exhausted, screw pajamas, just come here,” he said before he managed to think twice about it. It was a daring offer, inappropriate even and he opened his mouth to apologize for it, but then, you rendered him speechless.

Your weight felt good on top of him. You lay your body over his own with feathery gentleness and carefully maneuvered your way to rest on his chest completely. The touch of your skin flush to his own made his brain to short circuit, it felt divine, too good to be true and just so very right, he couldn’t say a word.

“Is that alright?” You asked quietly, pressing your ear right above his heart and letting out a breath that you held for a little too long. Your face felt hot, you were flushed and flustered but also oddly at ease with the current position and you wondered for a moment if it was the tiredness that made you so bold.

“More than that,” he replied, pulling the covers to hide you beneath them. He allowed one of his arms to snake around your waist and his lips to kiss the top of your head. “Rest. Sleep well, wifey.”

“Good night.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

10:19 AM

Satoru thought he was dreaming, but the weight on top of him felt too real. The soft scent of citrusy shower gel that lingered on your skin filled in his lungs each time he took a breath in and there was a tickle, he realized — every time his chest raised, a strand of your hair seemed to be moving against his jawline. You were not a dream.

He opened his eyes, blinking few times, adjusting them to the bright light that forced its way into the bedroom and then, he looked at you. You were still very deep asleep, he could tell based off the long inhales you were taking, slow and relaxed, fanning against his peck rhythmically. Your body was mostly on top of him, you were on his chest, your leg was between his and only your hips were resting on the bed. He still had his arm around you, as if making sure you were as close as possible.

It felt incredible. Intimate. It was everything he could have wished for. A touch, skin to skin, so intense it almost took his breath away. He felt nauseous at the thought, realizing that it’s the first time in his life, he’s that close to someone. So impossibly close that just a little bit more and you’d become a part of him. His heartbeat quickened.

It was so right. So awfully correct and at the same time, so very threatening. He felt helpless. Vulnerable. He was at your mercy, he was robbed of everything what made him the strongest, because at this very moment, he was bare. Uncovered before you, wrapped in an embrace that felt loving, that felt soothing, addicting, but if you only wished to hurt him, you’d—

You moved, shifting your weight a little bit, adjusting the position and the way your hand run down his side made him shiver. A soft sound escaped your throat when you let out a deeper exhale. He felt your fingers squeezing the flesh above his hip and then, you relaxed again.

“Your heart is beating so fast,” you whispered, not bothering to open your eyes, and Satoru held his breath. “Relax…”

And he chuckled. His chest vibrated below your ear and the adorable sound of displeasure you let out made him lose all of the tension. He turned, twisting his body inside your embrace to face you fully and he squeezed you with both of his arms, pulling you close. So impossibly close, and you whimpered, suddenly enclosed in a tight hold of your husband’s limbs. That was it for your sleep.

You could get used to it.

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hwaflms · 6 months ago

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HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

———————————————————————

[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

———————————————————————

six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair," it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

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