#i mostly just wanted to design them Looks lol
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rayroseu · 3 days ago
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The Details on Malleus' Clubwear✨
⚠️messy and overblown analysis lol
also thanks to malleus, i now have little trivia about history of raincoats 💀
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I feel like this card's details are so unexpected. I think everyone (me included) expected it to have a sculptor's outfit (I still want the sculptor outfit lol) or a researcher, but we overlook one fact about Malleus' club: his daily activity as a club member is just walking and sight seeing the gargoyles around the campus as told in his School Uniform card.
The crafting part and the researching are just consequence activities of observing the gargoyles, after all, as you admire these gargoyles for a long time, naturally of course, you would be interested in their history and be inspired to create them.
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His club's name is Gargoyle Studies Club, and it seems like even the room of this club is heavy on research activities. When Malleus says that he also crafts the gargoyles, he seems to say it as like a little fun fact of the club, that its just a side activity. His "club room" seems to reflect that in his club, they do more reading than sculpting.
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Mentioning this, it seems like Malleus' clubroom is the NRC library, in the distance, you can see the mezzanine is the same and the floating books and the lights are also alike. Because NRC library only has one picture used often, its interesting to see it in a different view. The closest we got from his clubroom is from Halloween. but in Malleus' clubwear its just devoid of decorations.
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Additionally, since this is his clubroom, Library is also a place Malleus frequents. there's many instance where Malleus stays in the library.
Labwear: I love how quiet the library is in the afternoon. You're welcome to join me there sometime, if you want to see what I mean. Halloween: I suppose I've no recourse but to scour each bookshelf one by one. .... I was gathering reference materials, and before I knew it, I was surrounded by this mountain of books. Dorm Uniform Vignette: No one came after two hours of sitting alone, so I headed towards the library and waited for an hour, before finally making my way to the Headmaster’s Office.
And on the opening of TWST, he was only seen in the Library. (The windows are the same and after this shot, Grim found Malleus sitting beside the window, the background there is the NRC library).
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One more interesting thing about the room, there is a globe here which I think is a nice implication that Malleus is also interested in other countries architecture (as shown in his reaction in Silk City). This says that Malleus extends his interested in architecture outside of Europe, bcs he also likes seeing ruins and the history of fallen countries (Malleus Bloom Vignette). Gargoyles are only limited in mostly European settings but no matter what as long as the architecture is functional ig, He'll like them even if they had no gargoyles bcs he's intrigued by History in general.
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(on 2nd picture) And this is what I was hyped about the room the most lol THERE'S FINALLY A CROW STATUE ILLUSTRATED FOR HIS CLUB 😭✨🙏
Malleus: Ones with features inspired by ravens are rare. This one is the only one I've ever laid eyes on, as it happens. Silver: I see a raven statue on this wall as well. Perhaps these gargoyles aren't so rare around here.
It seems that this gargoyle is still on the process of being made. I'd like to imagine Malleus is still crafting this and its beside many books bcs he's researching and referencing for its design. Like, he wants to craft a raven gargoyle accurate to the animal and its history.
Additionally, the shape being made looks similar to the raven statues around the Coloseum, but I think unlike these statues, Malleus intends to craft this as a gargoyle, bcs what he's crafting is a raven with an open mouth (for the rainsprout ig), not like these statues whose beaks are closed.
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Now, to go about his outfit lol, I really really didn't expect the trench coat (which is literally his dorm uniform in different format lol) to make a comeback lol I thought his SSR are for him to wear different clothes alksdfjlkfd but he looks stylish and classic (true to his furniture style)
But like this is also a good joke where we know long coats always looks good with tall people (that's why he keeps wearing them) lol (Look, there's a reason why Lilia doesn't properly wear his trench coat properly, he knows this clothing is not made for little people lol)😂
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OKAY I'm not a fashion history expert, and most that I'll ramble here are just quick searches, bcs I'm always intrigued at how insistent Diasomnia fashion is in being close with Military clothes. even Yana Toboso on 2020 Magical Archive says the Diasomnia uniform is based on military clothes.
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mackintosh trench coat history
Obviously, TWST isn's accurate about it bcs they're trying to fit "a fantasy design." Regardless, I believe out of all the dorm uniforms, Diasomnia has the clearest vision of a certain time period (I think their fashion is mostly based on 19th-20th century Europe)
Both his dorm uniform and club wear are trench coat essentially. The wide lapel (the triangular collar), the belts on waist, the buttons/zipper on front, the long length of the skirt, its leather are similar features between them. Notably, trench coats was invented for military purposes, much like how Diasomnia clothes are meant to look like military uniforms.
But I think what sets his club wear outfit apart from his Uniform is the fact that his top has a draping around his sleeves. I feel like its a nice design to tell that his outfit here is specifically raincoat. The closest I could find that relates to 19th century is the Mackintosh, its basically the early invention of a waterproof clothing/raincoat.
Unlike a trench coat, mackintosh has one purpose; to shelter from rain, that's why in Malleus' clubwear he has no stuff hanging around his belt and outfit (accurate to the example of a mackintosh?) unlike his dorm uniform bcs this raincoat is apparently meant to be simple and minimalistic.
Its not like the trench coat which has to be multi-purpose. In his dorm uniform, Malleus has many things around his belt, its accurate to the purpose of a belt in trench coat so that a soldier can hang things on them.
Additionally. trench coat was developed from the mackintosh, which for me solidifies the fact that his dorm uniform and his clubwear really has parallel inspirations
That part of his outfit could also be just a cloak lol. But yh, despite the little "first invented raincoat" inspiration, I do still think clubwear outfit is more trench coat than anything lol, its the double breasted buttons there that convinces me
But its interesting for me, bcs these fashion aren't really "Maleficent-live action accurate." (I'm aware TWST doesnt just take inspiration from one source though) In the movie Maleficent, their fashion was more inspired with traditional clothes, like as faes/the Moors, I expected them as well to have these clothes that makes them look like willow trees to reference that they're more nature connected.
She doesn’t wear garments made of leather or velvet, because leather and velvet don’t fly. There’s nothing heavy. It’s all made of fabrics that are light and airy.
This was also said in the costume design of Maleficent (live action) and why she always wear loose dresses. I feel like costume design of Diasomnia took the opposite turn, probably bcs they want to highlight Diasomnia's importance to strength and this dorm's notable significance in war. (Coats like these basically was prevalent in World War garments).
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Moving on, the umbrella lol IT'S CROWLEY'S CANE ALKFJDKLSD Okay no. the difference is that, Malleus' handle has a gargoyle, the reference is probably the gargoyles of Notre Dame (Glorious Masquerade sneak lol) While Crowley is the usual raven statue found in NRC.
I feel like there's smth deep that I want to explain here that a cane (Crowley) is more about providing a support (a cane is for walking support essentially) while an umbrella is more about providing shelter, which is quite accurate for Malleus since he's a person who consistently protects rather than support.
That aside, other than the trench coat, the umbrella was the cutest surprise 😭✨I was so focused at thinking about his outfit that I forgot what should be his weapon for his clubwear alksdfd An umbrella is a genius idea 😭✨
I'm convinced its an umbrella rather than a parasol because Gargoyles are meant to work against rainstorms. So Malleus probably uses this umbrella to observe the gargoyle directing the rainwater on the drains.
When Malleus first introduced the gargoyles on his school uniform, it was a clear day, he couldnt demonstrate a gargoyle working "in action" to Silver.
It's pretty cute to think that Malleus likes to stroll around the rain so that he can see the gargoyles "working hard to protect the buildings from erosion." 😭✨💞
Funny thing is, when Malleus got rained on in Silk City, he used a barrier so he can easily go out in the rain without an umbrella, just his magical barrier is enough.
But I think, he insists on using this umbrella bcs the design feels like it has some meaning (for me lol). The outside of the umbrella is blank while the gargoyle design is on the inside. When it rains hard, and you can see the edges of the umbrella dripping with rainwater, it creates this vision that the gargoyles inside it are directing the rainwater on the ground which probably fascinates Malleus, its like this umbrella is a portable roof with gargoyles lol
I think there are only two gargoyles on his umbrella, they're both dragons i guess, but one looks sharper while the other one is softer in features.
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idk who this is supposed to mean, maybe its Meleanor and Levan- alkkfdklsfdlk
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cream-and-tea · 1 year ago
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[ID under the cut]
so i got this sts ask about what would happen if your wips main characters swapped places in the narrative and i just Could Not get it out of my brain after i answered it. so roleswap time ig. heres lmd if agnes embraced her rotting girl autumn and pallas was the most irritating recovering-bible-camp-kid in the apocalypse.
ID. Four sketches of Pallas and Agnes done against a muted orange background and coloured in with a desaturated mustard yellow. Pallas is a young person with short hair pulled back into a small ponytail, a pin covered jacket that comes to just past their waist, distressed jeans, a t-shirt and fingerless gloves. Fishnet is visible through the holes in their pants and matching fishnet gloves have been layered under their fingerless ones. Agnes is a young girl with freckles and curly hair bobbed to just above her chin. She wears a long hooded jacket over a turtleneck and long skirt with several bags and trinkets hanging from belts at her waist and hips. Her eyes are pure white with no pupils and dark veins crawl up her face and hands, which are blackened at the fingers.
The first two sketches in the top right-hand corner show simplified doodles of Pallas and Agnes in a mini-comic format. Pallas has an enraged expression on their face, mouth open as if they’re yelling, and plain white text next to their face reads: “evil witch i can’t believe you kidnapped me and now you’re gonna kill me but i’m not scared of you i’ve got magic to i’m not afraid to use it i hate you let me go but before you do do you know where the bathroom i-“ While just below them agnes reacts with a blank expression, a thought bubble over her head reading in the same white text: “*enemies to friends 5000k slowburn*”
The second pair more detailed sketches are centred in the middle and take up most of the page and show Pallas and Agnes from the calves up. The one on the right shows Agnes standing with a trancelike expression on her face, looking out to the right with left hand raised to just below shoulder-height and curled forward while the other is outstretched but lowered, as if in preparation to react. Two simple stylized ghosts float by her head. Beside her on the left Pallas stands with their shoulders hunched asymmetrically and a deeply suspicious expression on their face, looking towards and also leaning slightly away from Agnes. Their right hand rests just below their chin with one finger raised to scratch at it while their left arm hugs their own waist/stomach. Two arrows are drawn in the space between the pair, the one on top pointing from Agnes to Pallas and the one on the bottom pointing from Pallas to Agnes. Above of that and slightly to the left a previous drawing of their original designs has been pasted. END ID.
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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months ago
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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verflares · 7 months ago
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new guy just dropped
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neptunym · 2 years ago
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@post-it-notes7 's party au (midnight masquerade?) art gave me the inspiration i've been needing :D so here's a dapper little kirby
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liquidstar · 9 months ago
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sleepovers save money on hotel rooms while on missions 👍
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thegreatsaiya-z · 2 months ago
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I am gonna get back to fun outfits soon buuut. What if the consequence of taking the Satan's devil/demon theming to the endpoint conclusion (...yes also initially inspired by @smuby giving Hercule fake pointy ears and fangs)
Lore under the cut
Also! I feel like people can be a bit too mean about Hercule sometimes (because okay. the bit about claiming ki techniques as tricks is one thing, and like. I get where people come from in him taking the credit for Cell but also come on. Gohan would not want to be famous pls) AND I feel like the presence of animal people and other weird stuff on earth drops off as the series progresses, which out of universe is because of the change in tone but in universe is like. That has implications.
So. Concept of Hercule as yes, a bit (or a lot of) a glory hound and a showboat but also as someone who uses that influence to, like, champion the rights for the various non-human sapient Earthlings particularly as they start to get pushed to the sidelines of urbanization. (And, you know, given I make the Ox King an actual ruler in my au, and I have the Ox Kingdom as one of the larger/more prominent kingdoms with the rare majority of non-human sapients, also potential for earlier interaction between Gohan and Videl <3)
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sysig · 11 months ago
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Double feature (Patreon)
#Doodles#The Stanley Parable#TSP#Stanley#The Narrator#Portal#GLaDOS#Chell#Mostly leftover doodles from Requestober ideas lol#I could've put them in with the rest of the roundup but I wanted them to stand on their own! I like them!#And besides they're only tangentially related - inspired by!#Starting with a continuation of the clothing swap lol - I think if given enough time Narra would absolutely layer Stanley's outfit#He feels naked without a shirt over his shirt! Or in this case a smart vest :)#Look he's even keeping the one breast pocket design carried into the vest ♪ Cute <3#Stanley thinks he looks like a dork - which he does to be fair lol - Stanley knows that outfit very well! Adding to it makes you a nerd! Lol#Maybe he's just sad it no longer counts as a proper outfit swap lol - something something boyfriend wearing your clothes something#Second doodle was if the Narrator was successful in pulling the sleeve down - you know that hurts! Why are you mean!#Still get a kick of how much taller Stanley is haha#And the last of the outfit swap - Stanley is bereft without buttons!#Do you think shirt buttons have the same kick as clicky keyboard buttons? Probably not but I wouldn't be surprised if he stimmed with them#Fiddling with his front button-down buttons and the button on his breast pocket and the collar buttons ♪ Click click click#The bridge! The two protagonists relating to each other#They even both have the arm thing going on - sure Sinister's my design but they both do!#Both tormented by their respective gay-and-obsessed-with-them narrator lol#It'd be so nice if they could relax for a bit ♪ Chell is implied to be something of a technological prodigy I wonder if she could help him#Snip the wires or something ♪ At least until the next reset!#They're both tricksters as well I'm sure he could sneak her around somewhere - he's something of an escape artist too!#And finally a silly mini of some GLaDOS insults <3 Just referring to Chell in as many diminutive terms as she can think of lol#But wait that's not right! Chell is a loner as well! She needs a much more fair comparison lol#Tardigrades are even smaller tho! But they're all roundy and squishy hehe ♪
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swampdrive · 6 months ago
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Hate it when you only have the vague mental concept of a character design rattling around in your head at 15000mph but are utterly unable to execute it on paper
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transannabeth · 1 month ago
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wanna make spider-jam an oc superhero because i've wanted to bring back my superhero ocs from like 8th grade especially since i've decided they're all weird and traumatized and insular and spider-jam is like fun and outgoing and cmyk colors
but like the whole thing is that she was bit by a radioactive spider. like that's the joke.
i need a new joke
#not pjo#chitter chatter#my ocs#the other day i was like oh i want a superhero oc who wears big chunky headphones#even better if shes got a walkman or a terrible cd player that keeps skipping and she keeps getting mad#the other sorta mc is a nico style character sl;kdjdsj sorry for stealing your powers bestie#theyre very withdrawn and have shadow powers. part of this is because their superhero mentor is like#SUPER traumatized and for the most part keeps them away from other people and heroes outside of their immediate group#yeah yeah grumpy sunshine dynamic whatever what IM really looking to do is have spider-jam (new name pending) sharing music w my shadow guy#especially because shadow (name pending) basically just. their human interaction is mostly the internet. and they know some weird deep cuts#spider-jam wants to take them to a concert SO BAD but mentor figure doesn't know the two of them are friends#and would also NEVER let shadow go to a concert. the risks.#meanwhile spider-jam is like we NEED to scream bubble gum pop at the top of our lungs and a punk rock mosh pit and get elbowed in the face!#shadow sends her spotify playlists and spider-jam thinks its like PEAK romance i just decided it's a romance#SORRY I BRIEFLY LOST MY MIND HERE LOL!!!! shadow needs a new design#so does spider-jam but shadow totally just looked like black widow if i remember right bc i drew them for class#just as i was making these ocs we had some random journal prompt about making a superhero and drawing them and i was like YESSSSSSS#ok im gonna shut up now i'll think of a new pun. alternatively:#we'll figure that out later and i'm gonna draw them KISSING#edit: i drew them kissing and revamped sj without knowing what else i'm doing#s&j
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theflyingfeeling · 2 months ago
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how dare stores not sell the exact kind of products I'm looking for
#soooo as i have little to do these days i've started organising various places in my apartment#started with the bathroom cabinets. then the wardrobe#for the past days i've been organising this in-built closet in my bedroom#which i've used to store off-season clothes but also just all sorts of crap (lots of it is different kinds of papers)#however i've been wanting to make it just a closet for off-season clothes (and suitcases etc.)#because i fear all the paper i've been keeping there have been making the air in the closet sort of...musty ugh#but as i've taken out all the random crap and left just the off-season clothes i realise most of the stuff i've been keeping there...#...was all the random crap 🙃 which i have no place to put now 🙃#i mean i have one large cupboard in the kitchen above the fridge that's mostly empty but like that's not very convenient is it lol#some of this stuff i want to keep at hand so i managed to cram something into the tv stand drawers in the living room#but there's still soooooo much stuff that would require a whole another fucking closet#which i don't have!! and while i do have the space for one i want to keep my apartment kinda spacey#so i thought of buying a bench to put in the bedroom and store something in nice-looking boxes under it#and i could put idk a casual throw on the bench to hide the boxes under it and to make it look like a bit more ✨interior design✨ u know lol#but i just absolutely can't find a bench that's 1) the right colour & style 2) has one shelf underneath so the boxes won't be on the floor#i've been so close to having a sexy little meltdown about all this numerous times btw but i've been brave!! believe it or not#sooooooo i don't know what to doooooooooooo i have too much crap with no place to put them in#(and mind you I already got rid of SO MUCH crap)#also does anyone have any tips on where to store rolls of gift wrapping paper 🥱 length 70 cm#the only places out of sight where they fit are this off-season closet and the wardrobe but i don't!! want to!! put them there!!#but i also absolutely do want them out of sight as i use them about 1-3 times a year#i hate owning stuff so much ugh
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heartbeetz · 8 months ago
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I NEED to get back into oc f/os. I just remembered my old casino themed anthro shark guy. He never got a solid enough ref sheet (or lore, really) for me to feel comfortable making him one of my f/os but maybe I should remedy that at some point. Big Jack.........
#his name is Jasper Roulette but everyone calls him Big Jack#he's a ''professional'' underground gambler and great white 'card shark'#insists he's an ex crime boss but won't tell anyone what that entailed#well... he WILL. but it's a different story every time. always a lie and often over the top#nobody knows for sure if any of it's true or not. but pretty much everyone either 100% believes it or is too scared to contest it#bc his persona around other casino goers is this rough and tough type guy and he has the looks and talk to back it up#really though even IF it's true he's pretty harmless now. his whole thing is ''yeah I used to do that but I'm turning my life around''#which others are skeptical about but is mostly true. he's kinda just chilling#he's a cheat and a showoff and an asshole but he's more intimidating than he is dangerous#and he has way more money than he cares to do anything with (where he got it who's to say) so he doesn't mind just handing it out#he was the first character I made for a little game / visual novel I wanted to make at one point but ended up giving up on#it was just about sharks in an underground casino#the idea was you could play little mini games and have conversations with them#and if you made the conversation go in the ''right'' direction there'd be little collectibles that opened new paths#but it never went anywhere other than some ideas and a very rough drawing of Big Jack (which actually came first lol)#unfortunately I designed him IMMEDIATELY before I got super into Sparker as one of my f/os so he got swept under the rug real bad#sorry sharky 😔#roz posts
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came0dust · 2 years ago
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i cannot keep drawing this dude on my phone but god do i love drawing him (+ bonus colors)
#my art#sketch#samsung notes#castlevania#alucard#i was doing gesture-y drawings but i drew him with a sword and shield and then i just wanted to Draw Him and. hes doing something to me man#i need to play sotn but im determined to play at least the first few games in order but i still havent beat 1. i fell out of it 😭😭😭#i want so badly to have a proper understanding of his character so i wont just be drawing like 'man.. pretty.... hair.. flowy...' forever#but also i refuse to make an educated guess on his characterization bc it will Not be educated. my exposure to him is so narrow#and also mostly forgotten. most of it was years ago and what i do know is surface-level at best. any nuance will literally be speculation 💀#but i Need to draw him. for my enrichment. hes so designed. so it ends up being just. Mysterious Handsome Man Looking Somewhere#seriously holy Shit. the more i absorb his design the more i have to draw him. ayami kojima was Cooking in the studio like damn#by the way these last two posts were scheduled. about two days after i did both of them give or take. i did this the night before last post#im trying to pace myself a bit better (its not really working 💀)#for context: the colored version was literally not even a thought when i originally put this post together#i did it the day after making the sketch and then three days later (the earliest you will see this) the post posted#oh shit right that means#medibang paint#shoutouts to multiply layer mode i would not be able to just do this without being able to keep my sketch#if i had to redraw it i would not have done the colors lol#anyways stream wandering ghosts bye bye love and peace 🤞
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gayabeilles · 5 months ago
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me, a former homestuck cosplayer, seeing all the other alastor cosplayers at the con wearing gray facepaint:
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#this is purely a joke y’all looked amazing#HOWEVER it did give me flashbacks to unsealed paint on fucking EVERY goddamn thing#also I definitely should have worn a wig but I think if something (except like two specific hats) touches my head I will explode#I looked weird with my normal hair but it’s fine it’s fine don’t worry about it#going to a con in November and tbh I may just dye my hair red rather than wear a wig#idk how I would do the black tips impermanently lol I do not actually want to have the fuckass bob in real life#maybe hair wax or something idk#I used that once and it was a sensory hell but if it’s just on the ends maybe it would be okay#the perils of playing dress up I guess man idk#I have some Plans for my next alastor cosplay though (rubbing my gay little hands together)#once I’m not in crisis mode I want to work on it so bad#bc man. I have Ideas.#v excited to do a masquerade al#time to do something overly ambitious babeyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!#got a Definitely Not Questionable deer skull mask a while ago and stripped off all the feathers and beads and stuff#found some extremely cheap restoration grill cloth on ebay that I’m gonna glue onto it#I wanna get some fake Spanish moss or something to drape over the antlers#I have a list of possible designs to make in glitter/sequins to make the mask more masqueradey too#so far it’s mostly just bayou plants that have names that are juuuust close enough to something alastor-related to be funny to me#no one else will get it or find it funny but that’s okay 👍#trying to think of a way to incorporate a kind of jazzy motif without resorting to like. notes and clefs bc that’s a bit on the nose idk#maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this#also thinking of a stylized superhet circuit diagram (or part of it lol)#yes I have 500 ideas no the mask isn’t big enough to accommodate even 5 of them probably#I also have an old burgundy cloak that would be perfecttttt#I think underneath it I will just wear the normal attire to not venture TOO far from canon lol#so like the red shirt with the cross and the black pants and his lil deerprint dress shoes#I gotta fix the bow tie from this last con bc I forgot the middle was red and ended up cutting up a christmas decoration to sew on lmao#I wanna use something satin so it matches the texture of the rest of the tie lol#idk!!!! I am just excited about this :>
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meatlessmcmuffin · 2 years ago
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rewatched frozen in celebration of no more finals
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️
#purrs#also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so#FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished#their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask#for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and#annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t#matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so#many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and#imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh#delete later#(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff)#also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info#on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im#doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when#i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the#ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be#reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that#(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them#bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them#out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol)#* ​and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol
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