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sapphicfandompirate · 2 months ago

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Did any of the Strawhat's even go to school?

Chapter 1134 has sparked discussions on the state of the Strawhat's education, so I figured I would do a little analysis on my thoughts on it based on canon.

Luffy- Feral jungle child. Makino probably taught him to read and write, and attempted to teach him manners. Jury is out on whether or not Garp actually taught him anything. Doesn't seem to know much history. Does know beetles, and probably a lot of survival skills, including hunting.

Zoro- Ok this is the real reason why I made this post.

A dōjō (道場, Japanese pronunciation: [doꜜː(d)ʑoː]) is a hall or place for immersive learning, experiential learning, or meditation. This is traditionally in the field of martial arts. The term literally means "place of the Way" in Japanese. -Wikipedia

Isshin Dojo (一心道場, Isshin Dōjō?) is a kenjutsu school, a school of Japanese swordsmanship. Its owner is Koushirou, who is a skilled swordsman and father of the deceased Kuina. It is the place where Zoro trained his Three Sword Style and in the anime is the only dojo Zoro did not take down the sign of. -One Piece Wiki, Emphasis added by me

As a member of the Isshin Dojo Zoro has attended school! Koshiro taught him primarily swordsmanship and meditation, but someone taught him reading, writing, and math and I'm just going to guess it's Koshiro as well. Seems to know a bit of sword-related history, but not much world or local history.

Nami-Stole education books. Not formally educated. Everything was probably taught by Bellemere and the rest was learned on the fly. Probably knows the basics of mainstream world history. Is capable of formulating advanced equations, and has vast sailing, navigation, cartography and weather knowledge. Studied at Weatheria during the timeskip, but it doesn't seem like a formal institution.

Usopp - Orphaned street rat. Unknown who taught him to read, write, and do math. Possibly Banchina before she passed away. Somehow he knows chemistry and engineering? Might have borrowed books from Kaya? Mostly self-taught it seems.

Sanji- Definitely has a formal education, up until he ran away. Noble child who had a variety of tutors. Learned whatever noble children learn plus a variety of fighting techniques and fields of science. Then was taught cooking by Zeff. Boy definitely knows how to do math. Anyone who cooks for a large group of people can at least multiply on the fly, or has a calculator taped to the wall. One Piece appears to use the metric system, so at least he doesn't have to figure out how to quadruple a recipe that originally called for 1 2/3 cups of flour.

Chopper - Professionally taught by Dr. Kureha (and Dr. Hililuk). They are both referred to as Doctors, but it is unknown what sort of medical knowledge is actually needed for that title, or if there is like a degree or anything. Assumably one of them taught him reading, writing, math, and chemistry in addition to medical stuff. Also read all of the books in the Torino Kingdom during the timeskip. According to the wiki, Kureha established an academy during the timeskip.

After establishing a medical academy, she taught and trained at least eighty students who became skilled enough to join the Isshi-20, expanding their members to a hundred under her leadership.

Robin- Got a degree in archaeology at the age of 8. Has all of the reading, writing, and history skills, including dead languages. While she taught herself how to read the poneglyphs, I think it's safe to say that Professor Clover taught her regular history, math, science, reading, and writing. Robin went to school!

Franky - Apprenticeship under the shipwright Tom. His state of education was unknown before meeting Tom at age 10. Should know all of the basic skills (reading, writing, math) in addition to carpentry, and shipbuilding. Tom's Workers is referred to as a shipbuilding company, so I don't think it counts as a school? Knows at least enough medical knowledge to turn himself into a cyborg with scraps from a ghost ship after being runover by a train. And Survive. Somehow.

Brook- APPARENTLY??? Stated that school makes him nostalgic, which implies he attended. Also knows a variety of things usually nobility would, namely various musical instruments and fencing. He also knows sailing, and various other things to be a battle convoy leader and pirate captain. I have questions for this man.

Jinbe - Dojo again, this time the Fish-Man Karate Dojo. Later joined the Neptune Army. So, since a dojo counts as a type of specialized school, he's attended a school as well as had military training! Knows basic historical stuff, especially that pertaining to fishmen and human-fishman relations. Seems to know other basic life skills (reading, writing, math, ect)

So, in conclusion:

Went to school: Zoro, Robin, Brook, Jinbe

Private Tutors: Sanji

Vocational Training under a Professional: Sanji, Chopper. Franky, Nami,

Self Taught with some instruction by a parent or other adult (non-professional): Luffy, Nami, Usopp

Out of the ten members, 4 of them attended a school of some sort and several others had some sort of professional training or supervision of study.

Feel free to add on if I missed anything!

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hoppityhopster23 · 1 year ago

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when I originally came across that, I thought that was quite an odd, and definitely incorrect. It’s one of the few things that I could never understand where he got it from. I remember writing additions and notes about it in the notebook I kept my comments and notes in regarding his memoirs (^1), but unfortunately I had to leave it behind in the big move. :( Although, after rereading the section you mentioned and doing a little research, this was a situation kind of right treatment (^2), wrong reasons. Below are my reasonings, which are mostly scientific and from some major medical groups. my sources are are the very last part of this post if people are curious: ------ (the list is all that Larrey writes for the treatment he used for sea sickness)

laying in a hammock: it is recommended to reduce motion in the modern day. hammocks are great for reducing a decent amount of motion depending the type of hammock and how its set up. if the set up on that ship was anything like the HMS Victory’s, the motion that caused the biggest problem is minimized.

not staying below decks and fresh air: all the works I read on reducing both motion sickness and sea sickness (^3) say to stay on deck and/or get fresh air.

exercise: exercise, like taking a walk is also recommended on NHS’s website.

Diet: Larrey recommended Light, non rich foods, and no alcohol or tobacco. the NHS, recommends to not drink alcohol and non heavy foods, but makes no mention of smoking. The CDC says something similar to Larrey, but add to keep hydrated.

over the top bit that I couldn’t find a benefit to: Bandage of the head or bath with vinegar, although neither could harm the patient. -----

(^1) I should mention just how difficult it is to read (at least for me) because of just how many old medical words and how its the start of a “phone tree” of assorted medical documents. he wrote assuming that the reader would have read the other articles/journals. (I have been tempted to write a series of posts (or maybe even a small book?) to try to help understand everything. at least if anyone is interested, but I digress.)

(^2) technically over the top, but this is a young Larrey we’re talking about.

(^3) which are the same, one is just on land and the other sea Sources: NHS on motion sickness

On Seasickness

CDC on motion Sickness

Larrey on seasickness

So I decided to at least briefly browse Larrey's memoirs before reading a book on him - I had forgotten how entertaining 19th century medical ideas could be.

Sea sickness, according to Larrey, is caused by heavy storms (which we know today is not necessarily so) and results in part simply from the patient’s imagination when seeing these huge waves and undergoing brisk sideways and up-and-down movements; he fears to see the ship be destroyed. But there also is a physical cause:

These unnatural movements cause jolts whose effects are concentrated in the brain, the part of the body most susceptible to shocks because of its mass, softness and lack of elasticity. The molecules of this organ, after experiencing a kind of shaking, collapse in on themselves, and hence all the symptoms that characterise seasickness. The larger and softer the mass of the brain, the more susceptible it is to these causes; this is why young people and those with very large brains are most prone to seasickness. People of advanced age, whose brains are smaller and more consistent than those of young people, are less prone to this disease. Inhabitants of maritime coasts and cold climates, in whom the cerebral mass is generally less developed than in those who live in warm countries and inland, are much better accustomed to the vicissitudes of navigation; in other words, they are less prone to seasickness.

If small brains help against motion sickness, I know a few people who should be totally immune....

#i'm probably gonna write those posts about Larreys memoirs #mostly because i enjoy old science and medical stuff.#it interesting to see just how much has changed over the years and what was actually toxic #Like how many doctors including Larrey used diluted lead acetate for treatment #which is toxic in more than small amounts #historical #dominique jean larrey #napoleonic era #historical medicine

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tangents-within-tangents · 9 months ago

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Thoughts on Echo as amputee/disability representation

First and foremost, I am not disabled or an amputee and I don’t claim to speak for those communities (and if I was I couldn't speak for everyone). What little I do know mostly comes from this youtube channel (@oakwyrm), this post, and other research I’ve done for my writing (and like one amputee I kinda knew in passing). By all means correct me and add to the conversation, I just have some thoughts I want to share because I haven’t really seen this discussed anywhere

Overview

So Echo is interesting. He is a triple amputee which is pretty rare in media. His disabilities come from extremely traumatic circumstances: injured in a near-death experience, imprisoned and dehumanized as an experiment with no autonomy over what happened to his body.

There are a few moments in the shows where Echo is treated… questionably. Like this bit where Rex uses him as an example of the Separatists' evils to convince the locals to fight back:

To be fair, yeah Echo’s treatment does prove that the Techno Union is not neutral like they claim. The modifications that everyone is gasping in horror at here obviously weren’t made with comfort and accessibility in mind, nor with Echo’s consent. But you still just want to be sure that “They took away his freedom, his humanity, they tried to turn him into a machine” is about using him as a living computer, not the fact that he is missing limbs.

The Batch is also pretty insensitive toward him and his trauma imo, which is weird considering they've supposedly also faced discrimination for their mutations

Disabled people do have to deal with stuff like this in this day and age so I guess it can speak to those experiences. I think especially him being mistaken as a droid (and Hunter going along with it (bruh)) might resonate with some people.

Aside from that stuff, Echo isn't really treated any differently as a character/person which is really good (as low of a bar as that is).

We get this moment in CW where Echo contemplates that yeah things are gonna be different now

While also (imo at least) showing that he is still the same person regardless, evidenced by the fact that he just echoed Rex :,) I also think it's significant that he joins the Bad Batch on his own terms and we're given a really emotional scene to specifically show that he's not just like 'lumped in with the other misfits' but that it is his choice to go where he feels his place is.

A lot of people, myself included, are disappointed that TBB didn't have more time to explore Echo's PTSD, but I think the one panic attack scene we did get is really good. Even thought it's minor it at least is an appropriate reaction from a guy who was medically tortured (which is more than I've come to expect from Star Wars shows lol)

And it's really sweet to see Omega showing Echo some empathy and consideration.

It would have been nice to see more of his adjustment period, and other side effects like chronic pain and maintenance, but there’s a lot of daily life stuff the show never had time for (i.e. we don’t know if he removed his prosthetics to sleep, but we also never saw him sleep anyway). His disabilities might take on a background role (much like the character himself sadly) but for the most part they aren’t invisible or erased, nor do they define his character and arc.

Physical Appearance

Okay this one is bit dicey, bc on the one hand, yes complaints that Echo’s paleness (most likely caused by burns from the explosion or chemical burns from the cryo-chamber) is whitewashing are totally valid. But I also think you can draw comparisons to real life conditions that affect pigmentation/complexion (like you know burns). So while I understand why a lot of fanart will depict him with his original skin tone and with hair, consider that there are real people who have to live with temporary or permanent changes to their appearance, and the idea of “fixing" him by making him look more like his old self can be problematic.

It's also interesting to note that Echo could act as a reversal of the 'disabled/disfigured = evil' trope. He's pale and bald and wears black and red, which is so often visually associated with villains, but we all know Echo is the bestest boy™

The Headpiece

Echo’s headpiece is interesting because within the show we don’t actually ever learn much about it (idk if there is more info in books or whatever bc i don’t have them so?). He didn’t have it in CW so we know it didn’t come from the Techno Union and therefore Echo probably had more choice with it. We don’t know its exact purpose but it’s most likely related to his scomping abilities. When he is hacking with his scomp in CW, before he has his headpiece, it’s clearly very mentally straining:

We don’t see him struggling like this in TBB once he does have it (though that could be bc he got more used to it over time). There doesn't seem to be much of an impact when he removes his headpiece in s3 ep14-15, except that he gets stuck in the ports every time he uses his scomp which is not something we’ve seen before:

There might not be an exact real-world equivalent, but the headpiece is some kind of accessibility aid. It means that someone specifically designed a device to help him adapt to the changes the Techno Union made, as well as a helmet that integrates it. It’s removable and visually very present, much like a cochlear implant would be. (A lot of people actually headcanon it to act partially as a hearing aid, since it makes sense that Echo’s hearing would have been damaged in the explosion, but there isn't really any indication of this in canon.) The headpiece is never really acknowledged in the show, but I think that's a good thing. It's something he needs/wants and it just exists, completely normalized, and that's pretty cool 👍

Legs

Sigh... So from the very first episode of TBB I was really disappointed that the animation team or whoever completely visually erased Echo’s prosthetic legs (I think we all were, honestly, if fanart is anything to go by). It’s one thing when he’s in armor because he would probably want to protect his prosthetics, but we literally see him in his blacks and there is no indication whatsoever that he lost his legs even though it was not left up for debate at all in CW:

Like ??????!?

This is just really strange to me! Idk what went on behind the scenes with this decision but I don’t really see why it would be that much harder to animate or anything since it’s 3D and they've done it before. We do see some pretty sophisticated cybernetic technology in Star Wars canon that mimics real limbs:

But Luke’s fancy hand is technically 20ish years from now, so Anakin and Maul are more of a representation of what level we could expect here

So yeah, for no apparent reason, his leg amputation is effectively, visually and narratively nonexistent. Which is not great 👎

Arm!

The scomp on the other hand (uh lol!) is the complete opposite and I kinda love it!

At first I, like many others, thought it was a bit odd that they didn’t give Echo a prosthetic arm. Losing hands is basically a Star Wars tradition at this point, so robotic arms/hands are well established within the worldbuilding:

We aren’t necessarily given a canon reason for why Echo doesn't get a cybernetic arm (again unless it's in some lore book I haven’t read, sorry). General fanon explanations I’ve seen are that he either couldn’t because the Techno Union wired the scomp too far into his nervous system, and/or the resources to give him one were deemed too expensive for a clone (what about his legs tho?), or that he chose not to, usually because he thought the scomping was useful.

Regardless, I actually really love this choice (and it's the whole reason I made this post), because here's the thing: There’s a lot of problematic tropes out there that either erase/cure disabilities or compensate them with perks (like how pretty much any blind character is actually not blind by some sort of magic power). With amputees that is done with robotic arms. The character is still an amputee or course, and there is still value in that representation, if this story from Mark Hamill that makes me tear up is anything to go by:

but for the most part these characters function like anyone else, just with a limb that looks a little different. It’s no more than a video game skin, an able-bodied actor with a green screen glove. It “cures” the disability, or it actually makes the character even stronger than usual:

It usually makes sense within the world of the story, but the reason it’s not so great in my opinion is that in the real world we just do not have technology anywhere close to that yet. Prosthetics can more or less replace any mobility from lost legs, but not for all the complexities of a hand (and even if they could the average person wouldn’t be able to afford it).

I think it's actually really super cool that Echo’s scomp bypasses the canonically-established amputee erasure and functions much like a stump would irl. He integrates it into his movements and everyday life and it’s (as far as I know) a lot closer to an everyday amputee’s experience.

It doesn’t define his character, it doesn’t hold him back, he lives a full life, the other’s don’t treat him any differently, and he’s still a total karking badass

The only additional thing is that he sometimes uses it as a weapon (which given his story, I think it’s cool to see him taking back autonomy in a way, and we only see that like twice)

And also the scomping, which could be seen as the 'added/compensating superpower' trope. But narratively it's no different than if he was plugging in with a hacking gadget of some kind (he didn't necessarily "need" to lose his arm for it) and it’s not like Echo is completely defined by this skill. Personally, I think it's well worth the positives of him actually having a visible and realistically impactful amputation.

I see a lot of posts or comments out there that say stuff like “how come Echo doesn’t get a hand?” or fanworks that do give him one and I just think it’s a bit of a shame. If he did get a robotic hand, it just would have disappeared the same way his legs and Anakin’s arm did (aside from that one time he got yoinked by a magnet). When Echo did “get a hand” in the last two episodes there were comments like “yay he finally got a hand! but it doesn’t even work” but I was actually so relieved that it didn’t! Bc for one thing that wouldn’t make any sense, he grabbed it off a droid, it wasn’t designed to implement with his scomp, that would be really complicated. But more importantly because it again refused to erase/cure his disability! It functioned like a real-world cosmetic prosthetic (useless beyond appearance) which is exactly what he needed it for, so that he could blend in better with his disguise.

And he continually took it off throughout the episode and ditched it at the end. He only used it for the necessity of a stealth mission, he doesn’t feel the need to visually “fit in” in his daily life.

And, last but very much not least, he made a dad joke and from my intel that is very accurate representation!

TLDR: Echo’s scomp is actually really cool from an amputee representation perspective, especially within Star Wars, and I think that deserves some appreciation

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catboybiologist · 8 months ago

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Hiya! I'm CatboyBiologist.

The unhinged, unfiltered side of @hi-sierra.

I'm a degenerate trans woman that posts thirst traps like this:

I'm also a graduate student in molecular biology and outdoor enthusiast. The kinds of stuff I post here include:

Perspectives on biology and gender

Thirst traps, including tgirl tummyposting

Other science and technology rambles/essays

Fiction writing attempts

HRT explanations and perspectives, from the perspective of a transfemme scientist-in-training (NOT a medical professional)

Violently bisexual meltdowns

Attempts at comedy

Making my ADHD everyone else's problem

Hiking/backpacking stuff

Any other shitposts I think are appropriate for this trash heap

This blog is largely completely unfiltered bullshit-welcome to the dumpster heap! If there's any intention behind this blog, its to show the science-loving, outdoorsy, "clean cut" aspects of my personality, alongside the openly queer, degenerate tranny aspects to show that they can coexist. Welcome!

I've also been casually streaming some pokemon nuzlockes on twitch recently. Generally I hop on on Saturdays. It's a nice little social club for the community, feel free to stop on by:

As a grad student, money is always on the tight side for me, so anything thrown at my kofi is appreciated. If you like what I do, consider donating a little bit:

Anyone is free to tag me or interact with me, in any way! This includes tagging me in tgirl tummy tuesday! I will never object to that outright, however, I may not interact back with everything. It's a combination of ADHD, and a few personal warnings/boundaries, like:

I will not reblog full NSFW/sexual nudity here, at my discretion. Feel free to still tag me in NSFW things, though! I just may not RB.

I often push the limits of SFW without crossing them. I tag racier stuff as #sierra nsfw, or common tags like #tgirl tummy. However, I slip up a LOT, so if you're a minor or uncomfortable with that, you have been warned.

I sometimes interact with transphobia, mostly to smack it down. I tag it as best I can as #cw transphobia.

For personal comfort, I will likely never interact with drugplay related CNC, sexualizing my bulge, or sexualizing teacher/student dynamics.

Assorted links, including where else to find me and previous pinned posts, are under the cut.

Other places to find me:

Reddit profile: main alternate place to find me, I show up on 196 and trans subs a lot.

Instagram page: less frequently, but consistently active.

Bluesky page: mostly inactive, may change in the future.

Fediverse page on tech.lgbt: mostly inactive, may change in the future.

Previous pin #1

Previous pin #2

Previous pin #3 (contains more links to guides and notable posts I've made)

Bonus tortoise! At the time of writing, he's in a pseudo-hibernation state and staying with relatives. But stay tuned for fall- his hibernation clock is backwards.

#abusing tags I use often #trans #transgender #trans selfie #trans journal #tortoise #biology #oceanposting #tgirl tummy tuesday #tgirl tummy #196 #r196 #r/196 #rule #/r/196 #trans woman #pinned post

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boimann · 1 year ago

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A while ago you made a post abt neurodivergent headcanons for the TF2 characters, and included Medic having chronic mania/hallucinations. As someone who experiences those very things I’ve been wanting to hear further on your thoughts surrounding this headcanon (that I share myself :D). If you’re up for/comfortable with writing abt it, I can understand if you’re not :) Still! I wanted to say I enjoyed seeing a headcanon abt medic dealing with psychosis that wasn’t an angst fest or “grr scary and evil!!!” Type deal

I feel the same way I'm exhausted of seeing psychosis always get demonized (that headcanon was basically just me projecting on my favorite little guy) also i have been dying for an excuse to expand on this headcanon so thank you anon!!!!

as said in my previous post medic has hallucinations on the daily, mostly minor auditory stuff

I don't think he would be freaked out by his hallucinations, he'd be fascinated by them and he would want to study them (he follows cartoon logic: he hallucinates a big scary monster and he sticks his head in its maws and marvels at its teeth)

sometimes tho he gets too wrapped up in his hallucinations and has a hard time separating what's real from what isn't and that's where Archimedes comes in

medic trained him to pick up on certain cues to which he responds by perching on his shoulder and applying pressure therapy by pressing on the side of his neck

other times he tries to get medic to pet him to distract him and make him focus on something soothing instead

occasionally tho it's better to ask the other mercs for help and he just goes up to them and straight up asks them if what he's seeing is real

he's told them of his situation and they are all pretty used to it at this point (also this is probably one of the more normal things about the guy who sews animal organs into people)

although sometimes when he's alone with scout he gets to have a little fun with it: he gets really close to him, stares into his soul with his cold blue eyes, points at the nearest corner and goes "do you see zhe grinning man?"

medic has put the fear of god in scout for the funnies and scout has shit himself on numerous occasions

he just likes to be silly in true medic fashion

here are some silly sketches about this headcanon

Scout pov:

How scout sleeps since medic started pulling these pranks

#tf2 #tf2 medic #team fortress 2 #medic tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #my art #mental illness isn’t always angst sometimes it can exist for comedic purposes #just as long as you’re respectful about it #thanks for making me ramble about this anon!!#long post #Bo’s art

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two-entire-bits · 17 days ago

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Deaf Outsiders Headcanons

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm hearing, and I've only been studying sign language, deaf history, and Deaf culture from a Deaf professor for the past couple months, and I do not know everything. I've researched the medical backgrounds for the genetic conditions and injuries mentioned, but some information might be incorrect and/or I might've misunderstood some things. If it is or I have, please tell me! I don't mean any misinformation or disrespect and I apologize if I cause any offense.

These also include some other disabilities!

Some world-related stuff:

There's no deaf schools in Tulsa, but the Oklahoma School for the Deaf was founded in 1908 so the time periods would hypothetically work out

In this alternative story there would be a deaf school in Tulsa and the Curtis brothers would all attend/have attended said school

I know it's Gallaudet University, but before 1986 it was a college

For the Curtis family: all of them are deaf. I think they'd have Autosomal Dominant Non-Syndromic (DFNA) deafness, maybe a variant in the MYH14 gene, which causes those with the variant to progressively lose their hearing within the first 3 decades of their lives. The Curtis parents taught their boys how to sign ASL, which they'd use at home, speak English, which they'd only use for hearing people, and lip read, also for hearing people, to an extent when they were young. The Curtis parents encouraged their boys to talk in sign as much as possible, but also were very upfront about ableism and how the world is built for hearing people.

Ponyboy:

Completely loses his hearing around 7-10

He's good at talking but doesn't like to, and very good at lip reading so he can watch movies

He still likes to write and caught onto English spelling and grammar quick

He often carries a notebook around to write in but mostly writes quick in ASL's grammar

He also uses it to write things to hearing people when he doesn't want to speak

He signs REALLY fast, he has a lot of things to say and good motor skills and sometimes even his parents have to ask him to repeat himself

Lexicalizes words all the time on accident

Signs to himself all the time, especially when he's alone

Likes to try and figure out what the actors are saying in movies and figure out the plot without the dialogue and sign along with the lines he can follow

VERY visual storyteller

Darrel:

Completely loses his hearing around 12-15

He can talk and lip-read very well, which he doesn't prefer but it's useful at work

Always kind of dreamed of playing football at Gallaudet, but always knew it wasn't really possible

Also signs to himself, but only when he's alone

Soda:

Completely loses his hearing closer to 3-5 and struggles with speaking compared to Darry and Ponyboy.

He always had hard time understanding English, and that plus being deaf and dyslexia contributed to him feeling stupid and dropping out of school (especially compared to Ponyboy)

He and Ponyboy talk in tactile sign at night before bed when everything's dark

His parents told him "Darry" rhymes with "Dairy" in English when he was really young and half the time he just signs "milk" instead of Darry's sign name to tease him. He got Pony in on it too

Johnny:

Hearing, but has apraxia of speech and selective mutism

His parents hate him for it and sent him to public mainstream school anyways

The Curtis parents taught him ASL after they met him

His apraxia and mutism contribute to why his teachers "give up on him" and to him having to repeat a grade in addition to other learning problems he was having and struggling to get the material quick enough for the curriculum

One reason why he was so scared in the hospital was because his hands were so burned he couldn't sign

Steve:

born with x-linked recessive deafness to hearing parents. His mother carried the gene and passed it to him

An especially good driver because of this

He goes to the same deaf school as the Curtis brothers and met Soda when they were in grade school, same as the book

Doesn't know how to speak English and doesn't want/care to learn it

When he was younger, he almost got caught stealing a car's hubcaps because he didn't realize how loud it was until he was telling the gang later about how the owners came outside and spotted him and Two-Bit told him that they probably heard the clattering of the metal hubcaps on the tarmac

Two-Bit:

Hearing, but his mom and sister (Tammy) are both deaf, he just didn't get the gene

Speaks English and ASL fluently but still stutters while signing because of motor skill issues

Purposefully messes up his grammar or signs sometimes just to annoy Tammy

Dallas:

Born hearing, but has Ménière's disease because he was jumped or in a car accident (something that wasn't his fault) when he was around 13-15 and the head trauma caused bleeding in the inner ear and his hearing is fluctuating at the time of the book

He's scared and angry because it'll get better and then worse and he never knows how or when it's going to change

He gets annoyed by the tinnitus and dizzy spells, and will often hole up somewhere when he feels a vertigo episode coming on and won't leave until it's over

The Curtis parents start teaching him basic sign and things to expect and things to know if he ends up permanently loosing his hearing, but he stopped trying to learn anything after they died

On one particularly shitty day when he didn't realize how loud he was being and Two told him he was yelling and he got so pissed at everything and that he didn't even realize he was being loud that he punched Two in the face

He's angry that it was something he could've stopped, that it happened when he wasn't actively looking for a fight or driving recklessly, or that it wasn't genetic because then he'd have someone/something to actively hate and blame. He never found out who jumped/crashed into him

Bonus: Socs!

Marcia:

Acquired hearing loss due to a recent head injury while barrel racing

It's not too bad at the time of the book, but they don't know if it'll get worse or not yet

She's not too worried about it, but every once in a while when she thinks about it a lot she gets really scared about what will happen if she loses her hearing permanently

She's scared she'll have to quit dance

Her mom kept her in high school and got her hearing aids eventually when it got worse

When she starts dating Two-Bit, it's another reason why she gets along with his mom and Tammy so well

They help teach her some basic sign and about Deaf culture, and kind of quench any fears she had about not being able to be happy/live if you're deaf because she didn't know anything about being deaf

Once she's learned enough sign to have conversations, she starts taking her hearing aids off at their house

Cherry:

Hearing

She was there when Marcia crashed and comforts her when she gets really worried about her future, but she doesn't really get it or know much about it

She wasn't rude about the way Pony pronounced things or later that night, when she was waiting for Ponyboy to write out what he wanted to say at the Drive-In and he got tired enough he didn't want to have to speak, which really surprised him

Bob:

Hearing

Knows nothing and could not care less about d/Deaf and generally disabled people

Thinks he can make Johnny talk if he beats him hard enough (partial motivation behind him and the Socs jumping Johnny before the book)

He knows Marcia's losing her hearing and is kind about it

Rolls his eyes sometimes when Marcia asks Cherry to repeat herself

Randy:

Hearing

Has no clue how to deal with Marcia's crash or her losing her hearing

Just tries (key word) to comfort her but doesn't do much else, just kind of goes on as normal

Similar to Bob, he'll get annoyed if she asks him to repeat himself too many times but feels a little bad about it

Paul:

Hearing

Learned some signs when he was friends with Darry

He didn't care to remember them when they stopped seeing each other

Felt "betrayed" when Darry said he dreamed of going to Gallaudet to play football because Paul just always assumed they'd go play together at some hearing mainstream college and he doesn't want to "learn all that shit" or "be around those kinds of people that much" just to play football at the same college as Darry

Bev:

Hearing

Knows about Marcia and says she doesn't care, but every once in a while she'll say something or make a joke that's just rude and shitty

Like Bob and Randy, she also doesn't cut Marcia a lot of slack if she doesn't hear something one of them says (Cherry is pretty much the only one that does)

She purposefully tries not to think about Marcia's future because she knows she'll get really upset about it, cos she thinks (and pretty much all the Soc's and hearing population, including Marcia) being deaf means you can't live or be happy

#two-bit talks #deaf outsiders you are so dear to me #deaf outsiders #I'm not sure how the shepards would add into this although I think it'd be interesting if they/one of them were blind #I feel like this is kinda preaching “deaf people have to learn how to speak”#let me be very clear that that is not true #but it was the 60's #and that would've been the expectation from hearing people in that area at the time unfortch #the ADA wasn't even signed until 1990 #but anyways yeah! if I got anything wrong or said anything rude I'm sorry and I very much did not intend to #and if you have the time please tell me and I'll fix it asap #the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #the outsiders musical #ponyboy curtis #darrel curtis #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #steve randle #two bit mathews #dallas winston #marcia meyrink #marcia the outsiders #cherry valance #bob sheldon #randy adderson #paul holden #and yes that can definitely be parrel #bev the outsiders #headcanons

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cripplecharacters · 1 year ago

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Hello! I'm planning to draw/write a character who, due to an accident, got quite a bit of scarring on her face and lost an eye. Would they need a prosthetic eye? While searching, everything I found included a step of "And then you'll get fitted for your prosthetic eye", making it sound as if everyone who loses an eye needs to have one, but what would happen if someone didn't? Additionally, would there be a difference between never wearing one and wearing one at first, then stopping?

Hey, thank you for your ask!

Generally it's considered beneficial to have something replace the eye because without it the eyelids will droop and the socket will shrink. It also (more importantly) protects the tissue that's left from things that could potentially get inside, which could cause infection. As far as I was able to research, the former is mostly aesthetic (in adults/people who finished growing, which I'm assuming your character is) but the latter is very important.

However; it doesn't necessarily need to be a prosthetic ("glass") eye - they're the most common option, but eye patches and conformers all protect the socket from debris and stuff just fine (in fact any kind of sealed eyewear probably would). Prosthetics and conformers are medically roughly the same while eye patches do nothing to help the socket or eyelids keep their original shape. (I made a very long post about eye patches but TLDR, I think they're too often associated with frustrating stereotypes and tropes.)

Prosthetic eyes are unfortunately extremely expensive and need professional regular care that a lot of people can't afford, so not everyone can use them. Conformers (basically big, transparent contacts) are an alternative that some people might choose. You can't really see them when they're inside the socket. Here is a very interesting video about conformers and prosthetics by Clay Butler. I wrote a video description and transcript here because the original doesn't have them. It explains a lot of things in a very comprehensible way from a first-person perspective. If you want something that makes sense other than a prosthetic this could be a great thing to consider.

If someone doesn't have anything to protect their socket, they risk infection and all the problems associated with it. So you technically could go fully bare, but it's less than ideal. I've also heard that the sensation of eyelid going over the eye socket is uncomfortable (because it's so bumpy) but I assume it depends on the person.

I believe that the difference between never wearing any protection and wearing-then-stopping would just be how fast the things I mentioned in the second paragraph would set in. So if your character recently stopped wearing a prosthetic or conformer, their general eye area would probably look more "normal" than if they never wore it at all.

Here's also the facial difference post that I always link for people making characters with facial scars, which might be helpful to you.

I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

#anonymous #mod Sasza #face difference #eye prosthetics #writing disabled characters #writing advice

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operator-report · 1 year ago

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In middle school, I read a short story for English class called Flowers for Algernon. Maybe you’ve read it, too. In the story, a disabled man named Charlie is given a medicine that cures his disability. Over the course of the story, he comes to realize that his “cure” is temporary and that he will “regress” into being disabled again. The story makes it clear that this is a tragedy. As a disabled teenager when I first read it, the story affected me deeply.

I’d like to talk about David and Noelle.

Content warnings for discussion of suicide, self-harm, ableism and eating disorders below the cut. Spoilers for Worm through arc 27.

When I was first reading arc 18, one of the things that stuck out to me is how much time the story spends on Eidolon. For me, it was the first time I paid much attention to him - prior to that, Eidolon was just an extremely powerful background character to me. But in arc 18, we learn that (1) Eidolon is losing his powers and (2) he believes that fighting Echidna will allow him to tap into some sort of reservoir to bring them back.

We find this out, of course, through Tattletale exposing him, which is always an extremely embarrassing event for Tattletale’s target. It makes it extremely clear that what Eidolon is doing is pathetic. He is going to kill a teenage girl so he can feel something.

Which would be messed up enough, right? We don’t need to make this even worse, right? Wrong. Because Wildblow has spent the last several thousand words building up the Case 53s as X-Men style metaphors for oppressed groups, and one of the forms of oppression that Wildblow generally writes well is ableism. I think you can consider most, if not all of the Case 53s as disabled in some way. I think the link is extremely clear with Noelle.

Noelle doesn’t get her powers from traditional Cauldron human experimentation - at least, not directly. Instead, she and Krouse are facing what is, to them, a no-win scenario. They’re quarantined with limited access to medical care. Breaching this quarantine would permanently render them criminals. If Noelle survives her surgery, which is a pretty big if, she’ll become disabled, in a way that both Krouse and Noelle agree is ugly and undesirable. She won’t be able to do “boyfriend-girlfriend stuff” because she won’t be “any good to look at, after.”

Krouse and Noelle are terrified of death, yes, but they’re also terrified of disability. They are desperate for control over Noelle’s body, control that, as of that moment, only the state has. (Remember the quarantine?) Krouse pressures Noelle into drinking the vial. Noelle is cured.

Noelle’s cure does not last. In attempting to assert control, her body becomes uncontrollable. Her body is her trauma and her eating disorder made literal. She still needs care.

Worm would be bad if this is why her life sucks. But Worm does something better, instead. Noelle goes through hell, not just due to the sheer difficulty of having her power, but because of the way her teammates and Coil treat her. They talk about Noelle like she’s already dead. They’re ashamed of bringing her the food she needs. When Krouse “includes” Noelle in a discussion in arc 12, it’s mostly perfunctory. They do not believe Noelle is human any longer. They lock her away.

Noelle doesn’t want to be put in a cage. Noelle doesn’t want to be dehumanized. In interlude 18, when we get insight into Noelle’s thoughts, we learn that what Noelle is angry about is the fact that Krouse locked her in a concrete bunker and placated her. When she tells people not to look at her, there’s a coda to that sentence that she doesn’t get to verbalize: don’t look at me like that.

This is the person who Eidolon is going to kill.

Via the Simurgh, this is a person Eidolon has unknowingly created.

A few thousand words of Worm go by. It’s Gold Morning. Eidolon is fighting Scion. Now, at the end of the book, we finally get substantial insight into David, the man behind the mask.

David takes a Cauldron vial to cure his disability. David sees this as the only way out, after an unsuccessful application to join the military, and then, an unsuccessful suicide attempt. David is bearing an immense amount of shame and internalized ableism. David is worried that father’s friends are watching him. (Don’t look at me.) David cleaves the world into two kinds of people: those who can have jobs, who are liked and respected because they are useful; and people like him, who are useless.

It’s a terrible way to think. Without that worldview, how could a person not take the vial? David wants to be used, because David wants to be useful. He never gets the independence he craves – not when he’s in that level of debt to Cauldron – but he gets to be useful, and that’s one of the best things you can be.

Like Noelle’s, like Charlie’s in Flowers, David’s cure doesn’t work. His abilities are wearing off. He is essentially told, when Doctor Mother administers his booster shots, that his medicine is too expensive.

Cauldron creates Noelle. David, as Cauldron’s soldier, has a role to play in her creation. David knows exactly what he is doing to Noelle. It happened to him. Worm fandom talks a lot about David being a father. He’s a father in more ways than one. (David’s father is always watching him.) (Don’t look at me.)

Cauldron never cures David’s ableism. In his world, you can be useful, or you can die. David asks Noelle if she wants to win. Noelle tells him no. You can have a job, or you can kill yourself. When David tries to kill Noelle to help himself, isn’t that a mercy?

Of course it isn’t. It goes without saying that all of this is extremely fucked up. When it comes to disability, “cure” is a complicated concept. I’m not going to get into all the ways it can be treated; this post is already a thousand words long. But I do think that Worm, through Noelle and David and the concept of the Cauldron vial, provides an extremely vivid picture of the problems with cure.

Under ableist logic, when you have a disability, a cure is something you’re expected to want. Without it, the story goes, you can’t be useful. You can’t do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. The expectation is social, like the act of staring. Your desire for it should drive how you organize your life – it is control, like a quarantine. David is crushed by that expectation. He throws his lot in with Cauldron, the cure-makers. The expectation is passed along to Noelle, and even though David can recognize that inheritance, he cannot imagine any other way to respond to it other than attempted murder.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that Flowers for Algernon is a tragedy. The reason that story has stuck with me so long is that I keep going back and forth as to why. Is it a tragedy because Charlie goes back to being disabled? There’s a good chance that’s what the author intended. I don’t know. It would be a pretty shitty story if that were the case. Is it a tragedy because people only treat Charlie well when he’s “cured,” and when that stops, he’ll go back to abuse? Seems plausible. I don’t think there’s one right answer. Regardless, when you’re disabled, there’s an immense pressure to seek out a cure, and a cognizable loss when it is withheld. The fact that Worm captures that social pressure and social loss so well is extremely compelling for me, and I’m going to be thinking about these characters for a long time.

#worm #parahumans #wormblr #eidolon #noelle meinhardt #any errors or omissions in this post are due to me reading interlude 27 like 3 hours ago #shoutout to tumblr user artbyblastweave for writing excellent eidolon meta that inspired this one #i would also give a shoutout to my friend who convinced me to read worm but i already shout at her enough. enjoy. thanks for the worms

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ckret2 · 3 months ago

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I'd been meaning to do this since I found your account but today I read through the entirety of your Goldielocks fic (or at least, what's available) and all I can say is WOW !!!!!

You're really fucking good at writing these characters, capturing the lighthearted-yet-somehow-serious tone of the show, and the stuff you make up for worldbuilding fits right in with canon stuff. As a lover of making things canon-compliant and in-spirit-of-canon, this fic is like a dream come true. You're an amazing author !

I really look forward to your post-TBOB edits of the eclipse arc and the flatworld arc, I can already kind of guess where you're gonna go with it, but it's still exciting to think about what direction you might take things.

I'm also wondering, are you planning on changing anything about the Death Valley girls, what with the info we got about ciphertology and the like ? Or keeping them relatively the same ?

(I stayed up till almost midnight reading this - I'm so glad I don't have to be anywhere early tomorrow)

Thank you!! I've discussed my TBOB edits of the eclipse arc already, you can see some of them here if you want.

For the flatworld arc, I actually think basically nothing's going to change. Spoilers, but: Bill's world was never gonna be like Flatworld. It was gonna be a big reveal late in the fic ("big" for the characters, not the readers lmao) that Bill's world was actually pretty okay—like yeah, a few flaws, but not "barely-exaggerated satire of Victorian-era ableism/sexism/classism" flaws—and everything the kids read in Flatworld that made them pity Bill was 100% bullshit. It was going to turn out that Bill's world is actually...

... pretty much fucking exactly like Euclydia ended up being in canon—up to and including baby Bill getting medical trauma over having a super-rare cool-ass eye mutation that lets him see the stars of the third dimension.

I was gonna have Bill go "oh yeah, that's why I drove the author insane, I was that pissed at him for making my home world look that bad. I didn't correct you guys because I thought it'd be useful if you pitied me."

I did this because, before TBOB came out, I knew that no matter what I wrote about Bill's home dimension, probably a good 20% of readers would just push it to the side and automatically assume that his dimension was exactly the same as Flatland—like, occasionally readers were making comments about my fic talking about how triangles ***ARE*** oppressed in his home dimension like it was a canonical fact and taking it as a given that I was writing that. For that 20%, it seemed to me like the best way to ensure it got through to them that whoa, this isn't Flatland would be to have the characters assume his dimension is exactly the same as Flatland so that I could say, in story, "no that's totally wrong."

Post-TBOB, a lot fewer readers are gonna make that assumption. But having the characters assume his dimension is a lot worse than it really is is still a part of the story—it ties into the narrative of them slowly growing to expect him to be something more sympathetic/heroic than he actually is, a la Dipper's assumption that the Axolotl poem is a prophecy about how Bill will help save them—so there's no reason for me to take it out.

So yeah, tl;dr: Flatworld doesn't need to change because it was always going to be wrong.

I'm only gonna change the Death Valley girls a little bit. Everything I've currently written about them stays the same; except I'm also gonna mention that, yes, they are a Ciphertology sect, and yes, all the girls in the cult are Cipherwives.

So now I also get to crack jokes about Bill being both flattered and a little creeped out that even after he mostly ditched the cult they just kept inducting new recruits as "cipherwives" whether he showed up or not, like wow, you're just gonna marry him off in absentia to some lady he's never met??? What if he doesn't wanna marry her? What if he doesn't like her haircut?? Every time he shows up he finds out he's got a new wife! He loves the attention, but jeez, girls! At least send him a letter with his new bride's picture and wait for him to mail back an "OK" or something!

#bricky b #ask #bill goldilocks cipher

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simplegeneral · 16 days ago

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Feudalism of Fire AU: Post-War Horrors and Hopes

For a world 20 years at war, Pyrrhia seems to have a severe shortage of the main form of counted casualties in war, the wounded.

I guess some example of disabilities show are Starflight, Tamarin and Dune? I can only recall some unnamed others, but well, things look pretty normal for how things went.

So well, disabled dragons through Pyrrhia are a common sight in my AU, an unfortunate outcome of all those who might have been blessed or curse themselves for surviving their final moments.

I will focus mostly on the Sand Queendom, for it was where the majority of soldiers came to fight through it.

From the horrors of the western front, the most horrifying frost breath of the IceWings, ever growing in their victims through magical means, medical experts could do nothing but amputate the limbs for a lack of any known medicine ways to solve it.

To the East, SeaWings' explosives and weapons slashed and cut through many dragons. Especially in the known and feared SeaWing Vengeance Strikes, against the SkyWing murderers and monsters of the Summer Palace's massacre in 5011 AS, an event so shocking to the new Queen Ruby that she opened a large field hospital in Scarlet's former arena to treat the wounded, constantly arriving from the Sky Queendom itself, as her generals refuse to cooperate with their own queen.

Prothesis, Wings and Chariots

In the aftermath of the DoD's false brightest night conference in the same year, the treaty of peace was signed, presumably for the next 25 years, conflict was abolished from Pyrrhia, though no piece of paper could ever prevent war from coming.

The new Queen Burn had to face the horrifying numbers of disabled and amputees returning home from the war, one of her first degrees was the construction of a prothesis manufacture in the palace, which would distribute them for all those in need. The act seemed selfless at first, but of course, Burn's pragmatic was playing out, the Sand Queendom had a tremendous shortage of dragons in all fields, she needed all dragons she could have.

The contract was most simple, the Sand Queendom's treasures had ran dry through the reconstruction efforts, barter system was reestablished, Burn knew her subjects could not pay for such things, so each dragon would receive a prothesis and be expected to return to work as soon as possible. A most fair deal as seem by everyone.

The history of those prothesis is relatively simple, they existed for a long time, but just like the wounded in the post-war, they also begun been noticed by everyone as their numbers grew. Most of the time prior, there was one work accident or a death roll with a crocodile, done by some foolish dragonets.

With time in the post-war, those prothesis improved in quality, as well as diversified, including later mechanical flexible wings and the chariots.

Chariots were most often used by merchants to carry goods in short-distances within towns. But in the post-war, they gained a new meaning, giving mobility and independence back to those who lost both their front or back limbs.

The mechanical wings were the most recent of the bunch, an overall still unreliable technology, but seemed to work for short distance travels, a dragon may take many stops even then, but the second models, worked in cooperation with SkyWing smiths had improved realiability and reduced weight, a SkyWing feature not easily copied by any other tribe, and thus flying is almost a reality for many who lost their wings (one of the most common wounds, for the fabric is easily ripped apart).

Braille and Sign Language

Braille was not invented by Starflight, the dragonet tbh, had no idea how to even begin such affair, but thankfully, he didn't had to.

Burn and Scarlet once demanded from their linguists, scribes and scholars the development of a writing that could be read in total darkness, a point Burn was mostly focused to completely stuff out the need of camp fires in her campaigns, barracks and other military resting and preparation situations.

Their scribes came with Braille. At first, it was chaotic and desorganized, with many versions created by different scribes, but by trials through the years, one version was perfected and above all else, was readable.

Burn had mandatory the inclusion of braille in her military documents, and every soldier in training from now on had braille lessons. Her end goal however, was the complete replacement of the writing symbols in draconic, for then even when enemies captured her positions, and unfortunately any left documents of greater importance, they would have absolutely no idea what to get from braille writing.

What begun as military struck of genius, now served the commoners.

Burn had expanded braille lessons to anyone willing to take, and kept her mandatory braille inclusion on all papers, but had abandoned the need to overall replace draconic. A most blessing turn of events that the other queendoms had soon followed in her steps, as the head injuries from war had not been any particularly kinder to anyone.

Especially on the eastern front, against the SeaWing explosives, dragons who usually survived them would be deaf of one or both ears, a consequence of the shockwave and intense pressure in their eardrums.

Thankfully as well, the militaries through Pyrrhia had a vast array of signals that symbolized a silent language, great examples would be such as aquatic of the SeaWings, a completely independent language that would help their own deaf dragons, but to the rest of the tribes, no easier times would come ahead.

While the military symbols could be taught and understood by anyone, they were limited to quick and direct orders, not a full communication language. But according to Burn, deaf dragons should read and communicate through paper for the time being, as her linguists figured out a full communication through signals.

Unfortunately, unlike braille, which had several years prior to be developed, the future draconic sign language would be a much more recent study and far from perfected and completely readable to deaf dragons, but Burn had kept the effort going on for she will not abandon any dragons excluded from SandWing society.

Although dragons had been using their talons, wings and tails to express themselves, those were often simple emotions, far from anything close to a full communication method.

In 5013 AS, after two years of trials, one sign language was standartized, with surprising help of the students from the Jade Academy, and support from RainWing linguists, who had a full array of oratory and especially, signaling language through their scales,

Through their talons, wings and tails, dragons now had a full mean of understanding the other side, a combination of every unpractical methods used by RainWings and SeaWings to the other tribes, a silent language was finally developed.

While Burn have had retired all deaf dragons from her military, she had made an official degree that at every workplace, there must be at least one sign language taught dragon, as for all deaf dragons would be mandatory to learn.

Even at the sand palace itself, Burn has hired her own sign language teacher, becoming at this point a polyglot of all known draconic languages but aquatic. Part of it was her intention to build herself a new image in the post-war, not of a warmonger, but one queen who does not leave anyone behind, no one.

In the years to come, Burn masters sign language, and at her military parades, she does speeches and surprises everyone by also doing a speech through sign language to the deaf war veterans in the first row within complete sight range of her.

A bunch of sketches of some of the stuff I talked about.

Ngl, my great artistic dream is to become a concept artist, I don't need to work for any studio or game company, I just love the style itself!

#wof #wings of fire #wof au #au #wof rewrite #wof art #wof sketches #disabilties #disability #inclusion #equity #wof sandwings #sandwings #headcanon #wof hc #wof headcanon

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charlottesbookclub · 5 days ago

Text

time after time – chapter fourteen (armitage hux x reader)

time after time masterlist

Summary: Hux reels in the aftermath of the explosion

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; set pre-TFA; serious injuries; hurt/no comfort (yet); angst; medical settings and procedures; mention of throwing up; self-loathing; implied self-harm; memories of child abuse; brief suicidal ideation; as always, let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 3453

Author’s Note: alright I won't lie to you, this is a rough chapter. like I mentioned in my previous author's note, I did write this story with a narrative arc, so it is now time for the main conflict of the story, which is ultimately mostly just Hux versus his own fears and self-doubt. in this chapter, unfortunately, he's in a fragile mental space where he lets them win. however, I have counted, and there are only four (4) hurt/no comfort type chapters here, including this one (so only three after this). sorry to put us all through this, but we're establishing the stakes of the story, so that hopefully what comes after will feel even more rewarding. and if you like angst, then oh boy are these the chapters for you! thank you for (hopefully) sticking with me! I promise there is much lovely and sweet stuff (and more kisses!) to come! ☺️❤️‍🩹

oh and i should also mention to check out the warnings on this one! absolutely no worries if you would like to sit this one out since it does cover some tough topics ❤️‍🩹

Hux blinked his eyes open slowly, a sharp pain lingering in his head. He was met with the once-too-familiar ceiling of the med bay. No. This could not be happening again. Not after everything. The thought of being forced to start again made him feel physically ill. But as his senses returned to him, he realized this was not the same as before. Rather than the two medics looming above him, there was faint shouting in the distance, and he heard a rush of footsteps. He pushed himself into a sitting position, flinching instantly against a stinging pain in his arm. He was not in a private examination room in medical. Around him were other officers lying on cots, many with small, visible wounds on their bodies. Directly next to him was Hondrill, a layer of gauze wrapped around a bacta patch on her arm. Seeing the lieutenant brought everything back to Hux in a devastating rush. The memories hit him all at once with almost the same force as the blast, forcing him to lay back down to catch his breath. He sorted through the scattered images in his mind, trying to make sense of the chaos. Then, from the messy pile of remembrances came one screaming, terrifying thought: where were you?

He shoved himself upwards, ignoring the pain in his head and his arm as he threw himself from the cot. He was unsteady on his feet for a moment, wavering as the room went sideways. His momentary lapse in momentum allowed enough time for a medic to hurry over to him.

“General, please, you need to lay back down,” she insisted, hands up as though to catch him and deposit him back on the cot if he should fall. He did not intend to fall.

“Where’s the captain?” he asked, realizing that his voice came out hoarse.

“In surgery,” the medic responded bluntly, “now please lay down, sir.”

“In surgery?” Hux repeated the words, trying to make meaning of them. In surgery. Why the kriff were you in surgery? You couldn’t be in surgery. That would mean… that would mean something was seriously wrong. Hux braced himself against the edge of the cot. Bile rose in his throat, threatening to heave from his mouth. His chest was suddenly wracked with spasms. He fell to the cold floor, landing hard on his knees.

The medic was saying something into her comlink, but Hux wasn’t listening. He was barely feeling anything at all, not the pain in his body, not the bite of the hard floor. The only thing he could think about was the horrible, agonizing, all-consuming image of you in surgery. He hardly noticed when he was pulled from the ground and conveyed to a private exam room. Another medic came in, checked some things, and spoke to him, but Hux was utterly numb. It was only when Mitaka’s worried face appeared in his field of vision that he began to come back to himself.

“General?” Mitaka asked, his voice quavering. “Are—are you alright? The medics thought you might be in shock…”

Hux processed the question. He looked around. He and Mitaka were alone in the exam room, the lieutenant standing in front of him as he perched on the edge of the cot. You were in surgery.

“What happened?” Hux asked, his voice no less ragged than before. Mitaka hesitated.

“The inspection team is still completing their investigation, sir. They haven’t released any of their findings yet.” Hux could tell he was stalling, that he knew more than he was saying.

“But you know something – tell me.”

“General, I— The medics are worried that you are in great distress, and they told me that revealing any more information might worsen your emotional state.” Mitaka looked around nervously, almost as though a medic might enter at any time to see him disobeying their instructions. Hux could feel himself shaking. He grabbed Mitaka’s arm and the lieutenant’s attention instantly returned to him, his eyes wide with fear.

“Dopheld, you need to tell me what you know,” Hux pressed the words through his clenched teeth, ready to beg if he had to. Whether it was his rare use of Mitaka’s first name, his grip on the lieutenant’s forearm, or his desperate tone – perhaps even all three – Mitaka finally broke.

Hux listened in horror as Mitaka related what he knew of the incident. Either one of the droids had made a mistake, or the device was specifically designed to resist diffusion efforts. Regardless of cause, the explosive was detonated as you and Hux were boarding the shuttle. Hux had been thrown against one of the walls, sustaining a cut on one of his arms and significant bruising across his body. The droids were destroyed, but everyone else – even the team in the house – escaped with moderate injuries at worst. Except you. Hux buried his head in his hands. The back of the ship had crumpled with the force of the blast, and you had been caught beneath a piece of the metal frame. It had cut a deep gash up the length of one of your legs, breaking parts of the bone. Hux let out a shuddering breath, no longer able to keep himself sitting upright. He slid onto the floor, leaning against the cot. Mitaka almost stopped and called for a medic, but Hux demanded that he continue.

The rescue teams had pulled you from the wreckage as quickly as they could, but the blood loss had been severe. They rushed you to emergency surgery, where you had been ever since. No one had received an update for quite some time. Hux stared blankly at the floor, his mind painting horrifically vivid pictures of the scene. Almost without being conscious of doing so, his stomach began contracting and he threw up into a garbage receptacle that Mitaka had hurriedly retrieved. As he panted pathetically on the floor of the exam room, he wasn’t sure if he was dry heaving or sobbing or both.

He had been wrong when he woke up in the med bay. He desperately wanted to go back to the beginning. If it meant he hadn’t met you yet, hadn’t touched you, hadn’t kissed you, he could live with that. He would do everything again, a hundred times – a thousand times – if he needed to. He’d live in that cursed loop for the rest of his life if it would undo this. Anything but this.

“General?” Mitaka finally asked again, now nearly on the verge of panic. “Please allow me to call a medic – you are very unwell.”

“I did this,” Hux whispered to no one, clenching his fists on the dark tile of the floor, letting the cold surface bite at his tensed knuckles. He had so many chances to do something differently – to make you leave. But he had been weak. Deep down, he hadn’t wanted you to go, had hated the idea of being parted from you – and you had suffered for it.

“General, that’s—that’s not true,” confusion rattled in Mitaka’s voice, “you handled the situation well – no one could have anticipated this. In fact, the preliminary investigations are showing that the senator was the intended target of the attack – it’s not clear whether the perpetrators even knew there were First Order personnel in the area.” Mitaka’s words changed nothing.

“I could have done better,” Hux muttered, digging his nails into his palms until he felt the familiar crescents of pain on his skin, “and this wouldn’t have happened.”

“General, I—” Mitaka’s words were cut off by the sound of the door whirring open.

“Lieutenant, may I speak with you?” An unfamiliar voice, likely that of a medic, drew Mitaka away from Hux’s huddled form. He was only too aware that he looked utterly pathetic, sprawled powerlessly across the floor. But even that thought was not enough for him to summon the energy to stand.

Hux was conscious of the murmuring voices in the doorway, but he made no attempt to decipher them. His father was right: he was weak, he was a failure. He couldn’t even protect the one person in the galaxy that he truly cared for. That he truly loved. Hot tears leaked unbidden from his eyes. He was disgusted by them – disgusted by himself. He wanted to take a knife and cut himself open, to crawl out of his own skin. He deserved to be the one crushed under a pile of twisted metal; he would have given anything to take your place on the operating table, to take any pain you felt and multiply it by a hundred, absorbing it all into his own body even if – especially if – it broke him. Then maybe that would be just punishment for his failings.

Mitaka reappeared beside him, looking significantly calmer. Hux couldn’t comprehend how that was possible when his whole world was in ten thousand jagged pieces, each one cutting him.

“General, that was the head medic,” Mitaka reported, “she says that the captain has come out of surgery and is still heavily sedated, but stable.”

Stable. Your condition was stable. More shuddering sobs broke through Hux’s body. Mitaka put an awkward hand on his shoulder, clearly trying to comfort him. If you were stable, Hux needed to be too. He pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“You may call a medic for me now, Lieutenant,” he told Mitaka, grasping for some semblance of authority in his tone. Mitaka let out a relieved breath.

“Yes, sir – thank you, sir.” He scampered quickly from the room. In the short moment that he was gone, Hux made the monumental effort to clamber back onto the cot. A general of the First Order couldn’t be found curled up on the floor like a frightened child. He needed to start thinking clearly again. He needed a new plan.

The door whizzed open again and Mitaka entered with another medic. She consulted her datapad and ran a series of tests. Hux complied with all her requests and answered each of her questions. She made efficient notes on all his responses. The head medic reentered and the two consulted briefly. The head medic then signed something on the datapad and spoke to Hux:

“Your vitals are looking mostly normal, General. I’ve cleared you for release to your quarters, but you will have required check-ins each cycle for the near future so that we can continue to monitor your condition. I’ve given Lieutenant Mitaka some painkillers for you. They will make you dizzy and tired, so I recommend waiting to take them until you reach your quarters. If you experience any new or worsening symptoms, contact us immediately.”

Hux nodded in acknowledgement and both medics left the room. Hux pushed himself from the cot, still feeling far from normal. Sensations were slowly coming back to him: a dull pounding behind his eyes, a lingering pain in his arm. Exhaustion was draining away every ounce of energy left in his body. He pictured you lying on a cot in the intensive wing, sedated, probably bristling with tubes and bacta patches. It should have been him.

“General, please allow me to accompany you back to your quarters,” Mitaka insisted, still looking a bit worried.

“Yes – fine, Lieutenant.” Hux no longer had it in him to resist.

The trip through the Finalizer’s hallways was long and painful. Hux found himself unable to maintain his usual brisk pace, his injuries making themselves more evident with every step. It was not an entirely unusual feeling, Hux thought ruefully. He recalled academy inspections where he was required to stand straight and unmoving while the bruises from his father were an aching, ugly purple just underneath the fabric of his uniform, making each breath an ordeal. Then there were the shifts after another locker room pummeling from the other cadets, their bladed laughter still ringing in his ears as each place where his thin frame had found a metal corner forced him to suppress a grimace when he moved. Pain had settled in Hux’s body at a young age, a tiresome yet predictable companion that he never seemed able to shake.

When he reached his door, Mitaka handed him the small box of capsules the head medic had promised. Hux took them before blearily entering his credentials and watching the door slide open.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay, sir?” Mitaka asked, worry still pulling at his features.

“I’ll be fine, Lieutenant. Thank you for your concern,” he replied wearily. He was about to enter his quarters when another thought occurred to him, and he turned to Mitaka again. “Not a word of what you witnessed to anyone else,” Hux demanded, trying to make his voice forceful, “not even to my other personal staff.” He had been a wreck – he knew that – and he had to try to contain the damage as much as possible. Even if there was other damage that he couldn’t mitigate, couldn’t undo. He was all too aware of that.

“Never, sir – you have my word.” It seemed that having witnessed his commanding officer in such a state had deeply affected Mitaka, as Hux was absolutely assured of his silence by the conviction in his words. He gave the lieutenant one last parting nod before he slipped into his quarters.

As soon as the door had whirred shut and locked, Hux fell back against it, sliding heavily to the floor. The container of painkillers slipped from his hand, and he kicked them away, sending them skidding across the smooth, dark floors. He couldn’t take them – he deserved to feel every ounce of pain in his body, every cut and abrasion and bruise. Even then it wouldn’t come close to what he knew you were experiencing.

He caught a little flash of color: the loth cat on his desk. Standing shakily, he moved toward it, picking it up and holding it delicately in his palm. He looked over the little purple flowers, the carefully carved legs and paws. He thought of you, a mess of crushed bone and metal. He caught himself on the edge of his desk, eyesight suddenly blurry from tears. He didn’t deserve this – he couldn’t touch anything that was beautiful without breaking it. Slowly pulling open the bottom desk drawer, he deposited the loth cat and your notes to him in the bottom. He could never destroy the things you had given him, but he also didn’t deserve to see them again. They were meant for someone else, someone good.

Hux paced through his rooms, ending up on his bed, looking out the viewports into the ocean of stars beyond. It hadn’t taken him long to realize you were everywhere in his quarters. You were on the floor beside his desk, holding him while he fell apart in your arms; you were in his sleeping area, giving him tea and begging him to rest; you were at his table, laughing at something he said; you were on his couch, curled up against him and falling asleep in his embrace. And yet you weren’t. You were in the med bay, suffering because he had been too weak to protect you. You had been scared, had asked if you could stay with him, and it was because of him that you couldn’t be here. That you would never be in his quarters again.

The realization was enough to steal the breath from his lungs. He had known it far down within himself, felt it like bone-deep ache of a childhood wound. He watched his tiny hand slip just beneath the surface of the waves, a dribble of blood from his nose landing in the water and dissolving in sickening swirls of red. The stone was still clutched in his fist, but he loosened his grip on it, watching the mesmerizing shine of it dance between his fingers one final time before he set it free. It tumbled in the frothy motion of the tide for a moment, winking happily at him before it disappeared into the dark grey depths of the water. He withdrew his empty hand.

Whatever he had felt the first time he had decided to set you free was nothing compared to this. He thought he had been in agony then, but now they would have to name a new, more excruciating type of pain just for him. He could have been locked in any torture cell in the galaxy, and it would have paled before what he was experiencing alone in his chambers.

He had brought this upon himself – it was his penance and his punishment for his own weakness. If he had let you go the first time he resolved to do so, he wouldn’t have had to know. He had guessed at it, yes, and dreamed, but he hadn’t known. He hadn’t known the sunlight warmth of your touch, the golden sound of your laugh, the way you happily folded yourself into him, the way you kissed him with everything in you. The way you loved him.

And now he knew. He had been foolish and weak and wouldn’t commit to what he always understood was better for you. He had given into the rush of the freefall, dragging you toward the ground with him until you had landed in a broken pile at his feet. He knew it was a consequence of letting you get too close to the wreck that was Armitage Hux – he was always going under and was bound to drown you in his wake. He had known this and had pulled you in anyway. So it was only fair that he had to know everything else. He deserved to be haunted by every smile, every touch, every memory. He deserved to live with the knowledge that he almost had everything, but that he had never been worthy to hold something so precious.

Hux’s hands were weapons, and for the unforgivable crime of hurting you, they deserved to be forever empty. A tear fell into his open palm. When he looked out at the stars again, he found them smudged and blurry, a mess of light and darkness. With a shaky breath, he reached for his datapad.

Body wracked with silent sobs, he scrolled through a list of planets securely under First Order control. Planets that were far from him. He pulled up your personnel file, the sight of you in your identification image enough to make his heart seize in his chest. He could not be weak this time. With shaky fingers, he reassigned you, effective immediately upon your release by medical. He confirmed the reassignment, and when your file auto-refreshed, the system-generated message that appeared at the top punched a hole straight through his body: ‘requested personnel outside of jurisdictional control – no longer Finalizer crew member pending medical release.’

He had to close his eyes. He tried to calm his panicked breathing by telling himself that this was better. He would send you to a well-defended base. You could live in the sun and look at art and be happy, not be trapped in this black, feelingless hull with him. You could be safe. Maybe you’d even find someone who was far better for you than he was. The thought of seeing you laugh and smile for anyone else the way you did for him, the idea of anyone else touching you, holding you, kissing you, made him think he might throw up again, retching on his bed in spasms of anguished jealousy. He would have to live with that too, another punishment he deserved. He had relinquished any claim he had on you, the impersonal message at the top of your file had made that sickeningly official. He could only have you in the way that hurt the most: in the private knowledge that you were everything he had ever wanted, but could never have deserved.

He cast the datapad into the darkness, unable to stop his entire body from shaking. He dug around in the drawer of his bedside table, fishing for the hidden supply of sleeping pills that he rarely used. He almost regretted that he hadn’t stashed enough for a fatal dose. He swallowed them, waiting to fall into the oblivion of a dreamless sleep. As they began to take effect, he begged any power that would listen to let him go back to the beginning, to reset the clock again. He wished with all the energy left in his battered body that he would wake up in medical again, having just fainted from his injection. He would do everything better next time – he would let you go.

#charlotte writes #time after time (hux x reader)#armitage hux x reader #general hux x reader #hux x reader #general hux fanfic #general hux fanfiction #armitage hux x you #general hux x you

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meirimerens · 22 days ago

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hello . i have been scrolling through your inherent the earth/khan/notkin etc tags and rotating them in my mind and i love the idea of notkin+catnip+dandy playing music on just vibes and daniil coming to the town -> seeing them -> tries to give them sheet music. do you have any more thoughts on da music players.. would they learn it eventually or would daniil just have to iron grip his mind and upbringing to jam w them.. would murky or sticky interest themselves in playing music afterwards..

hiiiiiii ^_^ thankyou for checking out one of the better tags on this blog i ♥ the works i have in it. the annoying the orphaned and the inflammatory-arthritic shall inherit the earth. also whatever is going on between these two.

as gar as Music goes :

frankly i don't think dankovsky would Try of his own volition to give them sheet music that's not something i think he does. for multiple reasons 1) when he comes back to the town he Has Other Things To Do (wink wink etc. but also he lends a hand to the burakh medical practice) than try to teach orphans solfège 2) He Fucked Around And Found Out Last Time what it did to get into the normal functioning of the town (including its inhabitants) so he's like Let me let them.

however comma i think some kids would come to him to learn. main (and perhaps only) one is Catnip to me. she's the Good Handwriting Bad Grammar half of the duo she makes with Dandy who i decided in my head is her brother so she can write down a music sheet pretty good. + i think she hangs out with capella (my lore) as a grown-up and capella is a sheet music type of girl. dandy might follow he's the Bad Handrwiting Good Grammar so he's probably already prone to #understanding sheet music a bit better. notkin is completely uninterested he's been playing music by ear/Vibes Only since he got into the streets age 7 he's not interested in being academic about it. he's never been interested in being academic about anything. i still hold that the kids will try to get dankovsky to play with them but when he mentions "what do we play and how can i follow do you have a sheet" they're like What is this guy on about. they just make stuff up eventually or start by following by ear music that dankovsky might play on the record player he brought back to town. the only other one who could be/is sheetmusicpilled is khan who has been pianopilled from an early age to me. both of the kain children actually but maria does it wildmode.

murky is uninterested in the playing/learning of music she has her own thing (going outside and pacing, medicinal herbs, Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy by hanging out at Shekhen where Taya is growing up), she loves listening to it though. sticky is uninterested in the playing/learning of music he has his own thing (medicine), he loves listening to it & dissecting the records player to find out what's inside though. i think that's something he and khan not-really-bond (sticky still can't stand his ass) over because khan loves himself the new century's technologies of record players, cameras, the telephone,...

mostly it's less the Kids Playing Music With Dankovsky, and more Dankovsky Playing Music With The Kids. he slithers his cello line into something they've already practiced for years and it's one more to the group.

#allô (answers)#batautism #inheriting the earth patho tag #<- it's a good one i like what's in it

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candiid-caniine · 1 year ago

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Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

#t4t nsft #asks #gen #denial #h/d #advice #💫 anon

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