#i miss those two idiots

[crestfallercanyon]

Fic meme!

AH thanks for tagging me @moriavis!

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! then tag 10 people. (Don't reblog, make a new post).

This sounds terrifically fun! I think I'll randomize which fics I pick too just to make it easier (meaning put it into a random number generator and see what comes out).

Tagging: @coldflasher, @its-tea-time-darling, @dunne-ias, @onceuponabluemoon, @un-ah, @sampharos, and anyone else who wants to participate!!

Here's all my works on AO3.

Thomas isn’t that unlike a child who bites off more than he can chew, gets all of his emotions staining his lips and cheeks once he’s done. From would if I could deny you; Fandom: The Maze Runner

2. Barry completely shut down all conversation when Snart said: “Lewis wasn’t always a bastard.” From Something Out of Nothing; Fandom: The Flash

3. [Gally] keeps muttering the words, “I don’t want to kill you” over and over and over, until eventually they morph, become, “I didn’t want to kill you,” and Thomas can’t harden himself enough to not cry. From Look Who's Inside Again; Fandom: The Maze Runner

4. Only Len can tell a story about beheading and somehow make Barry feel a fluttery feeling in his heart. From Scheherezade; Fandom: The Flash (Rated E for Explicit)

5. Where is that goddamn red army man? Mal has one more move with that thing, and Len swears it’s taunting him from somewhere in their boxed up living room. From Lullabies for Little Criminals; Fandom: The Flash

6. Looking over the ledge, where Stefan’s crumpled body lies on the storage container below, Colin gets this nagging feeling that they could have something more.  From The Last Eye to Open (chapter 2); Fandom: Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

7. “I hate Joe for never believing in me that he was innocent and for despising my father for years and trying to convince me he was evil; I hate you for being able to break out of Iron Heights like it’s fucking easy over and over and over while good men like my father are trapped there forever; I even hate Iris for humoring me for years even though she never — she —  I mean, the fact that she didn’t think to look up here, too, I just —“ Iris is clearly a hurdle that he still can’t quite jump without catching his toe on, and he stumbles over blaming her for anything even though his eyes burn with the conviction all the same. From Shiva (chapter 2); Fandom: The Flash

8. [Gally] leaves a wad of cash on the nightstand and looks for a notepad to mark it for housekeeping when he hears: “And you worried I thought you were a hooker.” From Intersect (chapter 2); Fandom: The Maze Runner

9. “Be, be freaked out! Be angry! Be confused and terrified with me!” Newt begged, and to his apparent horror he could not keep the tears from overflowing. From the merciless now; Fandom: The Maze Runner

10. It’s not exactly that Allison expected Derek to be chipper, but this level of grouchiness annoys her. “I forget you know what it’s like being a fugitive,” Allison says. From Of All My Crimes (chapter 2); Fandom: Teen Wolf

[starry-bi-sky]

clone^2 twitter memes. just bc :)

non-canon to the au but still funny

[immagrosscandy]

y6ch18 feat. hora de aventura reference

[milky-aeons]

me at my jjk fic i haven’t updated in 11 months

[unordinary-diary]

Blyke and John: Parallel Characters

I’ve written multiple entries about this,

[x] [x] [x]

But I’m back to make a comprehensive analysis about the glaring similarities between these two. I’ll try not to repeat myself here.

‼️SPOILER WARNING for the whole series‼️ but this mostly focuses on the story before John’s suspension.

Firstly, this scene:

ch. 121

This conversation takes place near the beginning of the Joker arc. It’s after John targets Zeke, after he targets Juni, and the day before he goes after Seraphina’s kidnappers. The timing is important.

“If someone hit your best friend, would you let it slide?”

That question is supposed to remind us what John does to people who hurt Seraphina: hunting them down and sending them to the hospital. Blyke shooting a destructive beam really close to John was an example of a trait they share: they both blow up violently when people mistreat their friends.

John’s downward spiral carries strong themes of hypocrisy. He’s angry at the world, he’s angry at himself, and as a coping mechanism, he chooses to believe that everyone else is as bad as he is. That means that most of the traits he hates others for are the same things he hates about himself. In this scene, Blyke is unintentionally calling out this hypocrisy: “What I did is no different from what you do”.

But Blyke’s just trying to connect with John here, he has no idea what John’s been doing. And John, of course, doesn’t give a shit about what Blyke has to say. This line was here for the audience to notice.

They’re both so similar, but their similarity immediately causes tension between them because, well, John was on the wrong end of Blyke’s protectiveness.

I really love the way this was written— there are so many flashbacks to this scene, but they remember it differently. John remembers the part that hurt him— he’d describe it as “the time that jackass shot a beam at me”. Blyke remembers the part that hurt him, or rather, hurt Remi: “the time that jackass hit Remi for no reason”.

Blyke and John are both hotheaded characters with strong ideals. They’re similar enough that Seraphina points it out:

(ch. 80)

As Blyke grows as a character, he becomes more like John: sticking up for low tiers and speaking out against the injustice in the world. But while Blyke is doing that more, John is going in the opposite direction, until they are fully opposed to each other.

Speaking of Blyke’s character arc, it took me a few rereads to actually understand what part of him changed. His kindness, selflessness, bravery— all of those things were there from the start. Blyke’s character arc was about becoming more aware of his surroundings, and how his carelessness can harm others. Blyke was never malicious, but after X-Rei and integrating more with the school, he becomes aware of people suffering around him and how he unintentionally contributes to it. He becomes less reckless, privy to the flaws in the system he grew up not questioning, and uses his power more responsibly. He even comes up with a more controlled way to wield his ability. The part of Blyke that changes is his maturity.

Part of John’s character arc is also about being careful. It’s not as close of a parallel as other things are, but one of the things that John works on during his redemption arc is holding back. Both of them learn self-control throughout the series, and for John, that means acting early before his emotions spiral out of hand.

Adding onto my first point about the two of them wanting to protect their friends— the fact that they can’t do that makes them both angry and desperate. For most of the story, the “block” that prevents John from protecting Seraphina is in his head. It’s his own trauma that holds him back. The block that prevents Blyke from protecting his friends is, guess what? Also John’s trauma! Parallels abound.

Another thing I noticed in Episode 80 is this:

Notice that when Seraphina says “I’d take that over strength any day,” John is looking at the camera. He’s avoiding Sera’s gaze. Seraphina is saying she prefers honesty over strength. John is very strong, and very dishonest, but Seraphina thinks the opposite because John is so dishonest. John appears to be reflecting on this disconnect.

In relation to this analysis, Seraphina is actually pointing out a major difference between Blyke and John. Beyond that, she’s praising Blyke’s traits, (less strong but very open) above John’s traits, (strong as fuck but a liar with his pants on fire). Furthermore, John really cares what Seraphina thinks of him. Knowing that she would think less of him is the main reason why he spent so much time and effort preventing her from catching his lies.

This leads into my main point here: Blyke is the “goody-two-shoes” version of John. Or, more accurately, the person that John wants to be. Blyke has a clean track record and doesn’t really get into trouble. He is respected and left alone by the school without being hated and feared, he de-escalates conflicts without taking things too far, he doesn’t lose control, he’s someone Seraphina thinks highly of, hell, even his grades are better! Blyke represents everything that John wants to be, and the person that he could have been if he’d gone down a different path.

But, crucially, John is also what Blyke wants to be. Well, not wholly, but his ability? His strength? It’s one of the things John hates about himself, but Blyke wants that strength so desperately that he risks his life for it over and over again.

They’re both desperate to be like each other, even when they hate each other the most. Neither of them have any idea how alike they already are.

I don’t know what Season 3 holds in store for us, but I do hope that John realizes that Blyke embodies who he wants to be, because mutual jealousy would be a very interesting dynamic to explore in my opinion. I also hope that it ends up being something they can bond over, by helping each other accomplish their personal goals. (Blyke being another helper in John’s character arc, and John helping Blyke train.)

A side note: John beat up Blyke four separate times. That’s more than any other character, which is interesting because John’s main rival is supposed to be Arlo. For reference, John has beaten Arlo twice, three times if you count the time when Seraphina intervened, and he only beat him unconscious once. But John beat Blyke to the point of passing out all four times, the worst of which being a shot clean through his chest. (shoulder? Unclear. S1 finale).

It’s odd, isn’t it? Out of everyone, Blyke is the one who John physically hurt the most. John’s only grudge against him is an old memory from episode 33, of an event that didn’t actually harm him. John’s grudge against Arlo is much more serious and again— that’s his main rival. So why is it that he’s so much more violent towards Blyke?

The problem here is that I’ve been thinking about these fights as “John picking on Blyke”. And that’s… kind of true? But while Blyke didn’t start any of these fights, they were all consensual in a way. He didn’t seek to fight John, nor was he ever happy about fighting John, but he was always a willing participant.

(138, 153, 206, & 211)

In three out of these four fights, John didn’t even expect to be fighting Blyke going into it. This is significant because while Arlo is John’s main rival, John absolutely fills that role for Blyke. Blyke’s own agency is what leads to most of these events. The reason, narratively speaking, why they fight so much is not for John’s character, but for Blyke.

For John, his reason for fighting Blyke so much is not narrative but moreso symbolic. John is angry at everyone and everything, but ultimately the person he hates the most is himself. It’s only fitting that the character most like him would bear the brunt of his wrath.

As John is having his positive character arc (suspension and post-suspension), he is becoming more like Blyke, and the two of them reach a point where they’re even more similar than they were at the start of the series.

In the Rowden amusement park, John does start to realize how similar they are:

(249)

Additionally, I want to draw your attention to the parallels between this scene:

Blyke and John’s argument in chapter 249

(which the image limit won’t let me add, scroll until you see red hair.)

And this scene:

Argument in ch. 121 (it’s at the beginning)

Two sides of the same coin.

Furthermore, in the S2 finale, Blyke is shown being taken to Keon. There is an implication that by Season 3, Blyke and John will share Keon-related trauma as well. Despite my pessimistic predictions, I do hope that this is a similarity that can bring them together rather than tear them apart.

[youchangedmedestiel]

Today I found an old notebook and got through the pages, most are about old school things but there's some where I tried to write every day about my day and what I felt (it lasted a week) because I wasn't feeling great at the time.

So, I read what I wrote on the first day, "Je ne suis pas encore convaincue par l'utilité de l'écriture mais le seul moyen de savoir si ça l'est, c'est d'essayer." Translation: "I'm not yet convinced that writing is useful, but the only way to find out is to try."

Anyway, here you can find all the fics I wrote.

[stargazerdaisy]

I'm having Skyeward feels again. Someone cue up my playlist.

[spawksstuff]

The De Completionist Checklist Part 14

1964

Note on the dates: I will mostly be going by when a show/movie was shot rather than its release date. Variety Magazine will be given first priority.

My score: 2 / 3

Need To Find: Slattery’s People - Question: Which One Has The Privilege?

Favorite Movie: Town Tamer

Favorite TV Show:  N/A

Favorite Quote (Exchange):

Conder: You go tell him [Rosser] to look at that fancy horse of his in exactly 10 minutes.

Guy (De): I’m not an errand boy.

<Very next scene>

Guy (De) to Rosser: That horse of yours, better go take a look at it.

<Which is funny enough but then>:

Rosser: What’s wrong with him?

Guy (De): How do I know I’m no horse doctor.

[darkaac]

Fin.

[entropyvoid]

There is a particular subgenre of post I keep seeing on this webbed site wherein people denigrate individualistic cultures but talk about collectivistic ones like they’re the absolute best thing to happen the world and have no flaws of any kind and I really have to wonder how many people making or reblogging those have actually had the opportunity to live in both

[the-soul-eclectic]

{ (in the voice of a drunk man (i am not actually drunk)) i miss my heart and mind chat. i miss them }

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! Had an idea for the actor AU!

Thena got curious what kind of a training he does when he goes to the gym so she decided to ask him if she can come with him.

Maybe you can do some fluff and cute stuff? Like Gil showing her a few things and comes very close? And of course a bit of a little thirst for Thena, I mean those muscles duh!👀

It just came to my mind maybe you can write something nice wit this prompt? :)

"Uh," Thena looked around, her ponytail swinging, looped through the back of the hat on her head. "Wow."

She knew that Gil went to one of the pretty hardcore gyms for people in show business. Of course there were still different levels of practice, and everyone was welcome. But she recognised several action stars just from their backs as they carried on with their own workouts.

"It's okay," he chuckled, nodding his head for her to follow him in.

She was the one who had asked to tag along to his gym for his usual workout. She was considering changing gyms and personal trainers herself, since she - since working more and more with Gil - was apparently just...becoming someone expected to do stuntwork. And she enjoyed it, really. But if it didn't include Gil, she wouldn't be signing on for it for fun.

"Today's an off day, so my usual trainer isn't actually here," Gil said gently as he led them to an end of the weight racks reasonably far away from everyone. "I was just going to come and do some light lifting and maybe a little boxing work done."

Thena nodded, feeling sheepish surrounded by people all with a certain level of ferocity to them. They were all either training for something particular or just had a certain physique in need of maintenance.

"What do you usually do for your workouts?" Gil asked as he grabbed some weights for her first.

"Nothing like this," she murmured, still self-conscious as she pulled off her hat and accepted the weights from him. "It's more some light weights, leg stuff. Probably more cardio, than anything."

Gil just nodded, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable about anything. Not that it would be possible for him. "That's a good routine to have."

Thena eyed him as he picked up his own weights--massive things that looked like she would have to two-hand them. His arms rippled as he picked them up. She dashed her eyes away, feeling silly for it. "I-I'm sure my usual stuff would be like a warm up for you."

"That's not true," he refuted, even as he started bicep curling with the massive weights in his hands. "We all have our own stuff. I'm terrible at cardio. You should see me when I get in the ring--I'm huffing and puffing, covered in sweat, it's not pretty."

Thena kept quiet about whether she thought that would be true or not. Maybe pretty wasn't the word, but she certainly thought it would be sexy...

Gil blew out a breath taking a break between his sets. He looked at her, easily lifting the weights he had given her. "Maybe you need heavier ones."

"Oh, no thank you," Thena laughed immediately, but Gil set his weights down with a shake of his head.

"No, really," he retrieved the next weight up. "You barely look like you're lifting anything. I know you don't want anything too hard, but there's such a thing as too easy, too."

Thena pouted at him as he exchanged her nice and light weights with slightly heavier ones. "But I like easy."

He chuckled, easily depositing her other ones on the rack before picking up his own again. Again, his muscles undulated under his skin from the movement. And again, Thena caught herself staring before forcing herself to look away. "Indulge me."

Oh, she was indulging, all right. Thena's eyes kept drifting over to Gil as he lifted beside her, focusing on himself and his movements, not imposing any need for conversation between them. He knew what he was doing. His arms looked massive as they moved, and as he switched movements with them, she could catch the ripple of his muscles in his chest under his shirt, in his shoulders, his back-

"Thena?"

"Hm?" she blinked, feeling herself blush. She had been caught staring, again (the evidence of her ogling him on the red carpet was bad enough).

"What training did you do when you were in that ballet movie?"

"Oh," she blinked. It had been a long time ago, fairly early on in her career. It was her first big dramatic role, and she had taken it quite seriously. She didn't think Gil had seen it. "I remember that. The training was fairly gruelling, as I recall. I went to an actual ballet academy for their expertise. They let me train with them to the extent I was able in the few months I had before we began filming."

"Hey, ballet is no joke," Gil grinned at her, some sweat starting to collect on his brow. He wore it well. "Dancing requires a lot of muscle, and even more control over them. I know better than to try and keep up with them."

"I know the feeling," Thena smiled, taking a break in her own lifting. "Trying to keep up with even the rudimentary practise they constructed for me was exhausting. I kept that in mind at all times when we were filming and I was allowed to take breaks as often as I pleased."

"It was a great movie, though," he smiled at her, and again, she felt herself blush.

"When did you have time to unearth that old thing?" she asked with a laugh in hopes of downplaying her fluster.

"Actually, it's one of the first movies of yours I saw," Gil confessed more quietly. He also set down his weights for it, swiping at his brow with a towel sitting out of his bag. "I can't remember how I came across it, but I saw it before I really knew who you were and stuff. I've always really liked it."

Thena smiled down at the ground as she set her weights aside as well. "I have fond memories of it. I still consider it my big break, of sorts."

"You got an award for it right?"

"A few," she admitted, although with a faint glow of pride to her as she said it. "Guild, the choice award, and even a globe."

"That's pretty damn impressive for your first big break," Gil chuckled, guiding them away from the handheld weights and towards the equipment. "I remember rooting for you for the globe. You wore that fancy black dress-"

"Stop it," she gave his chest a pat with the back of her hand.

"Fine," he accepted the friendly nudge with a laugh, patting the small of her back in a similar gesture. "What first?--rower or deadlifts?"

"Stairmaster," Thena responded cut and dry, already moving to the equipment that didn't require anything of her arms (already tired).

"What happened to wanting to see my routine in action?" Gil chuckled as he took up one of the machines directly across from her, able to talk to her without really having to shout.

"I can see you just fine," Thena huffed, starting her usual - agonising - climbing routine and shaking her head, letting her ponytail bounce behind her.

"I guess so," Gil raised a brow at her. She returned the expression playfully.

Thena nearly tripped on a step as Gil pulled up the bottom of his loose workout clothes to swipe at the sweat on his face. She stared down at her feet, attempting to banish the thought of his rock solid barrel chest and the hair around his bellybutton from her mind.

Gil happily turned his focus to his own workout, staring ahead of him and definitely not at the sway of her hips, or her legs in her skintight yogapants, or even the way her seductive little shoulders swayed with every step.

Just two people enjoying a casual, platonic workout together.

[neverendingford]

.

[youchangedmedestiel]

Dean needs Cas and wants him to stay

Maybe someone has already done that, probably, but I needed to do it, because I started to think about how Dean doesn’t want Cas to leave starting from season 8 because one, there is no bunker, no real home before this season, except maybe at Bobby’s. Two, in season 4 and 5 Dean and Cas are not that close, their bond is only being developed slowly in season 5 since Cas is not being brainwashed anymore and most of the time he is searching for God. Three, in season 6 Cas works behind Dean’s back to fight Heaven’s war and Dean isn’t happy about it because Cas doesn’t tell them much about what his plan is, and they spent a year apart before that. Four, in season 7 Cas is supposedly dead, then Emmanuel and then not himself and Dean is still mad at him for the betrayal. Meg keeps them posted on Cas’s evolution anyway.

Finally, in season 8, Purgatory happened, their first hug happened and Dean did say he needed Cas. I mean DUH. So let’s see how much he needs him and wants him to stay. Let's hurt together.

Season 8: Cas crushing Dean’s heart repeatedly by leaving

Dean feels guilty for failing Cas and not being able to get him out, he alters the reality of his memory, not being able to accept the fact Cas gave up and left him, especially after he said he need him. But when Cas comes back from Purgatory, he leaves Dean multiple times. First, after killing Samandriel, Dean tells him to wait before he vanishes and even says his name once he is gone (8x10). Sam and Dean actually finds the bunker only in episode 8x13. Later, Cas lies about searching the other half of the demon tablet and Dean says “Without us?” And then, Cas grabs the angel tablet leaving Dean alone and emotionally hurt in the crypt (8x17). Dean put his heart out and Cas just crushed it, so he has a hard time forgiving him for that, but despite being mad he hopes he will come back to him as Naomi highlights it wisely (8x19). When he comes back, Dean is really mad at him for not trusting him and leaving (8x22).

Season 9: Dean has to ask human!Cas to leave the bunker, their hearts are crushed

As soon as Dean knows angels are searching for Cas and that Cas is human he tells him to go in the bunker immediately. When they reunite, Dean’s reaction to Cas’s death is really something, the shaking voice as he says his name, realizing Cas is gone, and the soft “Yeah” as Cas calls him when he wakes up. This season Cas doesn’t leave Dean, Dean is the one asking him to go because he doesn’t have any other choice and it hurts Cas (9x03). But Dean is hurt too since he tells Sam "Hey, look, nobody wants him here more than I do, okay?" (9x04). Dean does go check on him as soon as Cas called him about a case (9x06). Dean has to send him away a second time because of Gadreel (9x09). He apologizes later to Cas for that, now that he is back to help him (9x10). Then, Dean starts to feel the effect of the Mark of Cain starting from episode 11, so he is not really himself, especially after killing Abaddon (9x21). He knows that Cas is away searching for a way to bring the angels back to Heaven and stop Metatron, Cas updates them. But when he doesn’t answer his phone and seems to be missing, Dean orders Sam to go find him while he takes care of Gadreel (9x18).

Season 10: Dean is affected by the Mark of Cain and Cas searches for a cure

Dean is really affected by the Mark of Cain, so not really himself. However, he tells Cas “I’m glad you’re here, man” after he helped Sam cure him (10x03). Then, Cas is away most of the time to help Claire (10x09, 10x10 and 10x20) and to find a cure to save Dean. They help him with Claire a little bit. Mostly, this season Cas works with Sam to find a way to remove the Mark of Cain.

Season 11: Dean wants to save Cas and Cas’s body

Dean wants to go find Cas after Cas called him when he was affected by the attack dog spell (11x01). Then, he doesn’t want to call Cas to disturb him in his binge-watching at the bunker, because he had a rough go (11x04 and 11x05). Sam tells Dean they might need help from Cas to find Amara and Dean knows it, but he doesn’t want to ask him that, saying he had a rough go lately. Sam highlights that they all did. Dean looks away, makes dimples of discontent, and finally agrees to call him, but he doesn’t really want to. He prefers Cas staying safe at the bunker (11x06). Dean is the one searching for Cas (actually Casifer) when they are back at the bunker after killing the banshee (11x12) and discovers that he is gone, telling Sam he was weird when he saw him earlier. When Dean discovers that Cas said yes to Lucifer, he doesn’t want to believe that he doesn’t want to be saved and wants to save him anyway (11x14 until 11x18). He even faces Amara, putting himself at risk, to allow Sam to go save Casifer (11x21). He worries about him again when Casifer is going to fight against Amara one on one (11x22).

Season 12: Dean tries to prevent Cas from being killed

Dean wants to go with Cas that found a lead on Lucifer but Cas refuses (12x03). Dean just wants to go home when Cas almost dies (12x12). Through this season, after searching for Lucifer, Cas is searching for Kelly Kline, updating them/Dean regularly on his findings (12x04, 12x13 and 12x15), that’s how Dean notices Cas sounding weird as he goes in Heaven. And when Cas doesn’t call Dean for days, he is worried and searches for him even before Sam suggests it (12x18). He finally comes back and Dean is mad because they were, well mostly HE WAS, worried. But then, Cas leaves him again, stealing the Colt from under his pillow. Later, once again, he runs away with Kelly. And another last time, he forces them to fall asleep and leaves (12x19). At last, Cas dies and Dean falls on his knees next to his dead body after screaming “nooo” to try to stop him to go after Lucifer in Apocalypse world (12x23). Dean’s worst fear has come true, he definitely loses Cas.

Season 13: Dean is grieving, then terrified to lose Cas again

Dean grieves Cas really hard for 5 episodes. When Cas comes back he is so happy again and he doesn’t want him to go alone again to find Jack and wants to go with him, but Cas stops him, as a last resort Dean tells Cas “don’t do anything stupid” (13x07). Cas ends up kidnapped by Asmodeus. The knight of Hell calls Sam to give update about Jack (13x08 and 13x09). Dean apologizes for not being able to notice Cas was kidnapped, saying they would have search for him if they knew (13x13). Cas wants to try to find help from angels but Dean isn’t happy about it, doesn’t agree at first and finally says “just don’t get dead again”, as a last resort again (13x19). Dean is just too scared to lose him again.

Season 14: Dean is having his family in the bunker all together

Most of the time Cas is gone with Jack to work a case, when he is not in the bunker with them, which is not a problem for Dean because this means Cas will come back with Jack at the bunker. Actually, he is almost always here, at least “for a few weeks”, because Dean tells Sam he saw Cas going out of the bunker early in the morning to stretch his legs and that he understands why he needs it (14x16).

Season 15: Dean is mad and finally asks Cas to stay in his own words

The first eight episodes Dean is mad at Cas, he is mad at everything actually. Even mad and after saying awful things, he asks Cas where he is going when Cas decides to leave (15x03). He doesn’t want him to break all contact when he says that Cas should check the messages Sam sent him (15x06). Dean comes back after hearing Cas’s messages saying that Sam was hurt. It’s the first time they see each other after Cas left the bunker. They stand in the war room and Cas leaves after saying Sam is ok and Dean is not happy about it. He probably wanted to talk but he couldn’t himself and Cas either (15x07). Dean is still mad at Cas for leaving as he says “Maybe if you didn't just up and leave us.” But finally, in his prayer to Cas, scared as hell to lose him again, he admits that he should have stopped him, that he forgives him “of course” and that he is sorry (15x09). When Cas leaves the bunker in the middle of the night to find another way to stop Chuck and save Jack, Dean asks him twice where he is going (15x15). And finally, Dean asks him one last time not to leave him, telling him “Don’t do this, Cas”, when Cas is sacrificing himself to summon the Empty and save Dean.

To summarize:

As soon as they had a real home, being the bunker, Dean wanted Cas to stay with them. He never told him clearly, probably thinking Cas doesn't want to stay, but he showed it so many times. Despite all his effort, he loses him countless times. The last time he loses him, Dean does say “Don’t do this, Cas” trying to stop him, he asked him to stay in his own words but Cas just left anyway, to save him. (Shit, I need to end this on a positive note). But Dean finally is able to reunite with him again in Heaven, where he can’t lose him anymore. (Alright, that’s better).

[str4wanzerin]

Ich hatte das Bedürfnis, eine kleine fluffy-traurige Fanfic zum Münchner Polizisten und seinem kroatischen Boyfriend zu schreiben... Nein, nicht die, die ihr meint ;)