#i miss the banter

[greatfairymagic]

Someone give me remastered Inquisition, I'm begging you

[iveoy]

they make me SICK

[cyarti]

camilla hect the woman that u are 🫶

(click for quality!)

[dv-kelp-face]

SPOILERS FOR MARK OF ATHENA!!!

Of all the names Percy has, Mr. Optimism is the most underused

[countingstars-17]

i'm a good person

[lillotte17]

Jumping on the Veilguard Banter wagon bc I'm back in the Solavellan sauce, but I can't seem to focus long enough to finish anything bigger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

~~

“I can see the wheels turning in that big bald head of yours, Chuckles. What world-ending secrets are you pondering this time?”

“I was merely… Would I be correct in assuming that you are still in contact with former members of the Inquisition?”

“I might be. Why? Looking to liven up your days with another round of mental chess with Tiny? Not sure he’d agree to that. He’s pretty mad about the ‘ripping open the sky again’ thing, although he did think it was funny that you picked Tevinter.”

“No. Thank you. I do not think it likely that the Iron Bull and I could have any sort of conversation that did not end in violence at this point.”

“If you’d prefer, I’m sure I could get Sparkles over here to yell at you about all of this instead. He’s just as mad, but much less likely to try and bury an axe in your skull.”

“I did not ask the question in the interest of having you summon old acquaintances, Varric. I was simply…curious.”

“You can say her name, you know.”

~

“The former Inquisitor-”

“Are we really doing this?”

“…Is she well?”

“How do you think I should answer that question?”

“Honestly, if you are capable.”

“You wound me, Chuckles! I don’t deal in salacious idle gossip.”

“You wrote an entire book about her.”

“I write books about everyone.”

“Varric.”

*sighs* “Look…nothing I could say would make you feel any better. Good or bad, it is what it is. Knowing about it won’t change anything, so why does it matter?”

“She always matters.”

“Could have fooled me.”

~

“I have to ask, is what Varric wrote in his book about you true?”

“Knowing his penchant for peddling exaggerations, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods? Probably not.”

“So, you weren’t madly in love with the former Inquisitor?”

“That is… I have a deep respect for the former Inquisitor, and I am not going to discuss her personal feelings or private affairs.”

“That book has sold enough copies to rival Hard in Hightown at this point, I don’t think anything in there is private anymore. Besides, I was asking about your private affairs, not hers.”

“I am not going to discuss those, either.”

“Oh, so it is true!” *laughs*

[deathberi]

[vaperarmand]

have you ever seen two people more married in your entire life. please

[saengart]

i miss him

[roguelioness]

veilguard might have pretty graphics but veilguard will never have a blackwall asking solas if he ever slept with fade spirits

[proffbon]

>:3c

[aofikofi]

the sillies arguing over eggs

[mawrrbid]

Kreide's list of reasons to kill Leander is getting longer every day.

Inspiration:

[gregwithagh]

[venomwrites]

Violet Vanderson died horribly.

Vi taps the pen to her lip. Considers her next move. Caitlyn’s couch is super comfortable and she can hear her working across the room. Vi takes a deep breath, she needs to get in the right headspace. To focus. 

“You seem upset,” Caitlyn says. 

“I’m in your blindspot,” Vi reminders her. 

“You’re huffing,” Caitlyn replies evenly.

Vi rolls her eyes. 

“I heard that.”

“Bullshit. Alright listen to this,” she says and rolls onto her stomach. “Vi Vanderson died horribly. She is survived by her sister who got so high on body paint fumes she forgot Vi spent every second looking for her and would be deeply affected by her death,” she taps the pen to her lip again, “come immediately to pay your respects because as per her last wishes, Ekko is in the coffin and running out of air.”

“Vi!” Caitlyn says her name with equal parts affection and frustration, “that’s horrible.”

“Horrible enough you’d come to the funeral?” She asks hopefully. 

Caitlyn sighs and pushes herself up. Vi rolls onto her back and lifts her head as Caitlyn sits down, slipping her thigh at the nape of Vi’s neck. She’s wearing a pair of soft, expensive pants that turn her thigh into the nicest pillow ever. So nice that Vi barely protests when Caitlyn takes the obituary form and pen out of her hands. She gets one soft noise out before Caitlyn sweeps her fingers through her bangs and scratches her fingertips into Vi’s scalp. 

“She has to come if she thinks I’m dead, right?” Vi mumbles. Caitlyn digs her fingers against her scalp and Vi arches into the touch. 

“Vi Vanderson died horribly because her girlfriend got very annoyed with her writing her own obituary given the number of times she has almost died,” Caitlyn says. 

“You beat me last time,” Vi points out. Caitlyn’s fingers still, “okay okay,” Vi sighs, “Vi Vanderson died horribly because her girlfriend has pretty nails.” Caitlyn’s fingers go back to work. She drags a sound from Vi’s throat, “Vi Vanderson died horribly because this feels fucking great.

“Maybe Vi Vanderson should not be drafting her own obituary,” Caitlyn says. 

Vi has always liked the way Caitlyn says her name. Even when it was said in completely exasperation. When she’s exasperated color goes high on her cheeks and she looks so real and warm, sometimes Vi does shit just to get her to say her name like that. She likes it when she says it softly, when she moans it, she likes all of it. She’s always been Vi to Caitlyn. Violet sometimes, usually when she’s asking something serious or wanting her attention. But then she slips right back into Vi. 

Vanderson had been a gut punch split second decision. They could have just set her shoulder but Vi wasn’t leaving Caitlyn’s side. The only way to stay with someone when they had a gut wound and a gouged out eye was to get yourself admitted. Apparently screaming VI wasn’t enough for Piltover. So she had blurted out the first thing that she could think of. Vanderson. Vander was my dad. I’m from him, he’s with me no matter what I do. Where I go. Like he always has been, even when we’re worlds apart. 

Violet Vanderson. 

“I wouldn’t have to write this stupid thing if she was just—thinking straight,” Vi mutters. 

“Let’s say you write it,” Caitlyn says, “what then? We have to throw your funeral?” She frowns at the paper.

“I guess?” Vi says. Caitlyn makes a noise, “don’t worry I was only joking about the Ekko thing.”

“Vi I am not throwing you a funeral,” Caitlyn says like it’s not a brilliant idea. It’s fair play too. Jinx let her think she was dead, now she can cry over Vi’s funeral, “why don’t you just wait for her to contact you?”

“Because she won’t,” Vi says. She looks up at Caitlyn who meets her gaze with an arch of a delicate eyebrow, “she needs a trap. Wasn’t that on your board?” Caitlyn goes red, “maybe that’s why you never caught her.”

Caitlyn shakes her head and pulls her hand away. Vi almost regrets the teasing until Caitlyn clicks the pen between her wonderful, nimble fingers. 

“Vi Vanderson died horribly because she opened her mouth,” she starts. Vi parts her lips, “and finished the sentence we both know she is about to say.” 

Vi makes a face. 

“You know you like it,” she says, “Vi Vanderson died horribly because her girlfriend has no sense of humor.”

“Vi Vanderson died horribly because she keeps getting lost in the house.”

“Vi Vanderson died horribly because her girlfriend wouldn’t let her go to the fish market after—”

“You did almost die!” 

“Barely.”

Caitlyn huffs but she combs her fingers back through Vi’s hair. There’s a sound of creasing paper. Vi opens her eyes to see Caitlyn fold the obituary form into a precise shape. She gives Vi a look and flicks her wrist. The paper makes a precise loop and then dives into the fire. Vi tilts her head to watch it be devoured in the flames. She drops her head back against Caitlyn’s thigh. Caitlyn gives a satisfied smirk and goes back to rubbing Vi’s scalp

“Vi Vanderson died horribly because her girlfriend is very good with her hands.” 

[3gremlins]

i actually think it's really weird that people (like davrin esp) are so upset that lucanis is an assassin. like he wasn't hired to kill US you guys, we're fine. that's kinda the point of assassins, they only kill who they're paid to kill. it feels like they wanted him to mirror zevran a little bit but like zevran it makes sense b/c he was literally hired to kill the HoF and Squad. So it's pretty reasonable for your squad to be like "this guy? you're gonna let this guy near our food? you're going to SLEEP WITH THIS GUY? THIS GUY WHO JUST TRIED TO KILL US!??" since zevran did in fact, very recently, try to kill you.

Lucanis, you just broke out of prison and "hired". He's not going to murder you (on purpose), you're ostensibly his client. That would be exceptionally bad manners and also bad for business. Lucanis is a Professional and a Gentleman, at the end of the day. i do get harding and davrin being leery that he's possessed and spite might kill you just for funsies. but some of the dialogue you get from davrin esp, you get the vibes that he's much more upset to be working with an assassin than a demon possessed person. which is kind of a weird thing for a dragon age squad member to be upset about, since you regularly kill lots of people/monsters for no money/minimal money. i wish we got to call them out on it a little bit (or had a squad member who could), the way varric does with anders in da2 when anders gets upset about almost killing someone and varric's like, "dude we killed so many people before breakfast this morning and you didn't even blink, miss with me with this shit"