#i miss home cooked food
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The way I had a meltdown while sitting on a pile of my laundry while reading about my assignment crying to my best friend screaming to him that I wanna go home while gulping down my paracetamol is peak adulting 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
#I'm so tired#and it hasn't even been a week#i miss home cooked food#and i miss everyone on here#wish i could come more often#what the hell is going on#let's talk pls I'm bored and alone
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i think you guys are onto smth..
i unironically got invested in this HELP
#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd#anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve#both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year#newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work#he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba#so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit#kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it#when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai#he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg#when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration#they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back#dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed#ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again#this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain
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What if y/n from have you eaten? Au had eating disorders?
oou! good question!
yes! that is definitely a scenario i would like to explore in the fic when i get to it. also why i want to write the fic with multiple different Y/Ns so we can explore different experiences and relationships with food
there is a "main Y/N" who is a glutton who likes to try anything and everything. i haven't done the research for it so i can't say whether or not they have an eating disorder, but they DO have an unhealthy relationship with food as a result of being shamed for their appetite. so that, coupled with their job that emphasizes appearances and first impressions, they eat smaller meals, seemingly healthier meals, safe meals. but when they're alone at the restaurant with the DCA boys, without having to worry about who sees them or how much they eat, they're able to enjoy their food openly and honour their body's cravings.
#ask the crab#Have You Eaten? AU#i'll add some ideas for the Y/Ns here in the tags because nothing is final yet#a single parent Y/N with a picky son or daughter#an international student Y/N who is feeling homesick and comes to the restaurant to eat food they miss from home#maybe the same student Y/N but a Y/N who forgets to eat or actively skips meals so they don't spend too much money#a Y/N that has tried many diets and workouts and still feels insecure about how they look#a Y/N that has developed health problems and can't eat a lot of the foods they once loved#a Y/N that wants to learn to cook but has always subconsciously hated their own cooking#food is just such an interesting vehicle for storytelling#food is tied to so many memories#nostalgia and trauma#it's fuel for our bodies but also a bridge for social interactions#my biggest worry with this au is that i can only write from my limited understanding of food#there's so many cuisines i haven't tried yet and am unfamiliar with#hence why i played it safe by making the restaurant a cha chaan teng a restaurant and cuisine that i am very familiar with
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So I’ve been feeling a little homesick this week after I woke up on Wednesday morning wanting nothing more than to go hug my parents’ three daft dogs. Which is not a thing I can easily do on a whim, cos they live in England, and I’m in Scotland.
What I did instead was go to the shop and buy one of the fancy frozen pies that my mum always puts in the oven when she has company. And I had it last night. It was delicious. It’s a frankly stupid extravagance if you look at the price per portion. But it made me so happy 😃
#when I say I miss my mum’s cooking#I kind of mean I miss the specific prepackaged meals she likes to get#but it’s the taste of home#I also miss my dad’s distinctly mid bolognese sauce where he forgets to drain the pasta properly#and the way my grandma used to boil carrots until there was virtually no carrot left#food is about emotions not just texture and flavour
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Saw a poll asking which fast food I'd give up for a week for a million dollars, and it's like I'd give up fucking food for a week for that price, there's literally nothing that wouldn't be on the chopping block when it's giving it up for a week
Not to mention I already barely have fast food once a month, and that's only if you count the costco pizza or burgers from the general store (which are more like backyard bbq style... like... the not great but not bad kind from a grill, you know?)
So... money please, I already won, pay me
#like I'm not even kidding about if I got it signed in a contract that I'd get paid; that I'd give up eating for a week for that much#pretty sure while it wouldn't be good for me I'd make it; and... that would only be like 7 less meals that week for an average week#I wouldn't be happy; I don't like being hungry (which is pretty much my forever state; I'm hungry as hell right now)#I know enough to know it would probably take a toll on me given the way I'll prowl the house over and over looking in vain for food#like it would be bad#but there's not a lot I wouldn't do for that kinda money; I'm not gonna pretend that a million isn't a price I can be bought at#basically no hurting anyone; nothing that would do permanent damage... really really gross stuff would cost more#but I don't pretend to have too much pride for this#if you're a sick freak with too much money hit me up and we can probably make a deal#anyway my real point in this post was just the fact that like... give up fast food for a week?#for that price I'd give it up for life; I lose at most costco pizza and perhaps food from the general store; though it isn't fast food#I don't like fast food much; it's already too pricey; you're paying me to do what I already want to do#and with that money I could hire someone to come to my house and teach me to cook#I could pay someone in town to get my groceries... it's a not brainer#hell; for like... mhh... ten million I'd never eat at a restaurant again; though there I'd like to negotiate exceptions to try stuff#like... make the deal that I can't go places regularly; and I can't loop hole this to just always be traveling#but that like if I travel to Japan or something I can try the restaurants there#...twenty five million and I never eat at any restaurant anywhere ever (I'd pay people to have me over for dinner)#one hundred million I never eat anyone's cooking again (I'd go to Japan for instance and pay someone to teach me to cook)#(have them eat with me to make sure I made it right; so I could experience it but no one else made it)#these are my prices#but for real; I never ever ever even go to restaurants; there's exactly one kinda high end pizza place I'd miss with that deal#and again... I'd just go in and pay someone to come help me figure out how to make it at home
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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People following me for writing things — or any particular one thing I've reblogged tbh — apologies, i hope you're also prepared for me to be multifandom, multi-interest trash
In regards to my writing, I'm into both original works & read a ton of books, but I also read and write fanfic. I'm still trying to decide if I wanna make a separate blog solely for my original writing, but if I do, I'll let it be known here!
In the meantime, I swear I'll put some more writing stuff up soon XD I'm just still relocating all my fave artists and writers from Insta and Ao3 <3
#multifandom#supernatural#currently on a SPN rewatch binge so there's gonna be a lot of that#leave me alone i missed them#I missed the finale got spoiled for it and then just never caught up and my sibling left off around season 8 so we're doing a full rewatch#multifandom blog#multi-interest blog#books#movies#tv shows#video games#home decor#writing#reading#food & cooking
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I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot
#mine#words#human#love#someone unashamed of loving me#someone free to love me and choose me#someone who loves me with every blink#a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot#because im an idiot#clown#feelings#thoughts#love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only#my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with “ill sit w you”s &“i listen#with “your feelings are valid” “youre being hard to yourself so im being even softer” with “hey do you wanna play sth”#with “wanna body double” and “i rmb you like this” “have you eaten yet” “can i give you a hug”#with “my treat this time” and “can i come visit you” with “missing you” and “we share this part of life”#with “hey this reminded me of you” and “i dont need this but i thought you could” with “what have you been up to” and#with “do you wanna go there together” and “im getting [food/drink] you want some as well?”#with “i can pretend to be your waifu and help with chores” and “lets cook together” with “lets go on a walk together”#with “tell me when youre home” with “take care” and “enjoy!” with “hows your day been” “howd you sleep”#with “tell me about your dream last night” “show me your outfit” with “how are you” and “i can explain it to you again” with “i'll wait”#with “nice to hear from you again” and “i try to understand” with “im glad a late answer is better than none from you”#with “you cannot see your own effort but i can” with “how can i help you” and “just wanted to see/hear you” with “hey take this food w you”#with “i dont mind doing that for you” with ┌|∵|┐┌|∵|┐when seeing each other on the streets#every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared#im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back#i am loved already#my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them#“i will try for you” “i'll try remind you” “i can wake you up” this all will get its own post one day
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🦋
#hawaiian food. my whole entire world for some fresh hawaiian food.#fresh opihi straight off the fucking rock down at da shore. boiled peanuts from the bodega up the road.#paʻiʻai fresh off the board. freshly mixed poi.#hawaiian beef stew. fried butterfish collar. freshly made lomilomi salmon.#haupia. kulolo fresh from hanalei.#manapua from the truck. two types of sweet sticky steamed rice cakes.#poke by the pound w freshly cooked hot rice from the grocery store. yummys korean bbq.#i miss home. I MISS HOME. i am so fucking starved for my home in so many fucking ways both literal&figurative.
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the older i get the more i appreciate my mum cooking the things she did when i was younger. considering she doesn't even like cooking all that much and was still working full time back when i was a kid, i'm so impressed when i look up some of the recipes she made and seeing how much effort it actually was.
#lily talks#i also think that i was incredibly fortunate to grow up in a family open and enthusiastic about making food from all over the world#it did a lot to make me love cooking#i was thinking about food that makes me feel nostalgic and unironically the first thing that came to mind was maqluba#certainly a more special occasions kinda thing but... my mum just... made that#i think in a way it was a nostalgic dish for her as well but still the fact that she just randomly made this at home is wild to me#ngl i miss that it's been years since i've had it#i sadly don't have the means to even attempt this at my appartment but perhaps i will make a request when i visit the next time#it'll be fun actually helping out and not just being a kid “helping” in the kitchen lol
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maybe getting up at the crack of dawn, getting on a train and spending my last money on thrifting and art supplies in another city will fix me 🤔
#the thrift shops open at 10am and i have several locations i could go to all over the city...#taking the tram... looking at things buying things... craft and art supplies homegoods clothes... just like old times#when i lived there and could have that any day of the week after classes were over#or on the weekends when i'd wake up early fresh and rested clean my entire apartment and then travel all over the city for fleamarkets#and other fun activities... oh i miss it so. even though my apartment was shitty and some of the college classes gave me hella anxiety#it was a good time. had my own 4 walls to come home to at the end of the day. could do my grocery shopping in peace in the grody little aldi#a few blocks down and listen to my music as much as i wanted 🙏 cook my own meals. experiment with new food and spices#curl up infront of the tv on my big comfy sofa and take the best naps ever#I MISS IT SO MUCH WAAAHHHHH
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i’ve conditioned myself on student-living food for so long now that while i’m back at my parents’ during the holidays i’ve started craving the dissatisfaction of eating shitty packet instant noodles
#personal#uniposting#ok i lied#i just miss making stuff like shoyu ramen for myself in the late afternoons#like. i love my mum’s cooking at home but at uni it ruins going out for indian while bc it doesn’t live up to her cooking sometimes#(<- ignore the random “while” i fkn hate typos in the tags)#also we have a lot of indian takeaway places in england. it is statistically inevitable you’re going to get the shits after one of them#i’m also rly bad with food in general but i found that ramen and soup related things are foods i can actually enjoy for change#and i just never enjoy food. i never want to eat food (until it’s out of necessity)#so i just miss that a bit. i think#the privacy too!#i’m shite at cooking and i don’t enjoy it (the time spent with prep & cooking & clean to time spent eating ratio is ridiculous)#but i will if i have to#idk. as a result i’ve always been insecure about cooking at home with the family around considering i’m not good at it & wasn’t taught much#i like my lonely little ramen rituals
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#so like i had to go to the plaza and buy lemon cakes so i could get cashback cuz i had bought my lunch on credit so i had to pay it back#tomorrow. cool went to food basics got my cakes got my cash started walking the 10 minutes back home. literally three minutes away#moneky brain says ‘‘do you have the house key’’ i say yes survey says EHH LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER#checked everywhere pockets inner pockets backpack pockets nada. so had to walk 15 mins back to school. 10 mins saw a bus ran to catch it.#saved me 5 mins. went to locker ‘‘oh look there it is’’ got key got out of school just as bus was pulling up missed that had to walk all#15 mins back home. sweaty thighs legs calves are hurting made it to apartment mom’s worried explanation#cool cool about to relax mother goes time to cook#i actually died inside a little#my phone’s about to die ok byeee
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“i don’t understand why u won’t give me a refund for this meal i completely ate w/o complaint Where is ur manager” watch me . eat this pen nd paper. Hold eye contact w me while i do that motherfucker i’ll eat the silverware too
#ppl r insane But everyonr was super nice to me today. kinda crazy#i accidentally imprinted on one of the cooks he has the same name as my estranged half brother nd he made me so much food :O#did not miss waitressing literally at all But i promised my friend i’d help him out. too lazy 2 drive home Am napping in car
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a word of unsolicited advice....don't do two masters programs and two jobs all at the same time, bad idea
#at least not if you don't live with family or a partner that helps support you a lot with domestic affairs#this shit would be so much more manageable if i still lived at home. or even in a dorm on campus#and didn't have to worry about bills and groceries and cooking and cleaning everything all by myself every day...#i'm not really failing at anything at the moment. but i do really feel like i'm struggling to keep up with it all#and that i should be doing a better job. or at least that things should be easier. that i shouldn't feel so lost#or have to ask so many questions still#or feel so bad when there's food in the cupboard but i'm so exhausted and poorly planned my energy and time etc#that i end up ordering delivery once or twice a week just to keep myself fee after rehearsals. idk man#this would be so much easier if my dad still did the laundry and my mom always made me dinner...#i miss not being in charge of everything myself. it's a whole lot. it's more than i bargained for#but the only people i'm really comfortable enough with asking for that level of help and care from live two states away.....sigh#well. gotta write a paper tomorrow. and go to work at 6pm. and try to dig further in on assigned hw readings. wish me luck ig#i wanna talk about me
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i miss home (｡ ́︿ ̀｡)
#and my friends and family#and my room#with the balcony view#no noisy cars#and food on the table#home cooked yummy#and going out with my cousins#and my bathroom#and all the familiar places#and the familiar language#i miss communicating in my comfortable tongue#i should explore the city im in now but idk#it's scary and im always busy#ngl but studying in cafes is such solace#a big crowd makes me feel less lonely#and the baristas are nice#but i cant always stay in a cafe#it'll dent my wallet#so ill just wander a little#got to find dinner now brb!
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