#i miss being creative
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i miss feeling like a person
#i miss having thoughts#i miss learning#i miss working#i miss being able to do chores#i miss working out#i miss being creative#i miss playing video games#i miss being present in my life#all i do now is exist and barely that#and like obviously im depressed but this isn't a chemical imbalance therapy kind of situation#this is a i physically cannot do all the things i used to and its upsetting#not only to me but to everyone i know#and they want to help but cant and it frustrates everyone#lineko.txt#some days i can still do some of this stuff but not enough#sorry to everyone who followed me in the past year#im not normally this whiny#i used to create and be silly too
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haven’t got to the rolan fic yet because i had to go do some car stuff after work.
just had to buy a damn alternator, so mentally i feel drained RIP.
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Uhhhhh... hi there?
It has been a fucking wild (almost) year. Can't remember most of it, don't want to remember half of it. But that's not what I'm here to tell ya.
I finally finished writing my thesis 👁👄👁 From now on, just paperwork and hopefully, smooth sailing towards my Master's Degree.
So...
I might pick up writing again in the next weeks. Idk if any of you lot are still interested in my silly lil fanfic but I made a promise to myself that I'm finally gonna finish it. So you're stuck with me. 💅✨️
The writing style might differ, probably will differ. Question is, how much. Please, be patient, cuz I haven't written shithe in almost a year.
Love ya 💕
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I really hope I can find the time/energy to write again soon. It's been kind of a crazy month, trying to secure this barista job while working my other job, a bunch of family drama and health issues. :(
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#idk#I miss being part of fandom#I miss being creative#I miss sharing in fandom#part of me feels like I'm on the outside looking in#all the posts and tags and the like#and this isn't a plea or anything like that#I just... miss being a part of fandom sometimes#and I wish I could get my brain into gear to be more proactive about that#anyway this is just me word vomiting in the tags#pls ignore
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can schizophrenia stop affecting my cognitive functioning so i can write my gay ass fanfics again
#i miss being creative#and making my fave characters be in a weird homo romance#what is existence without yearning for something you can put into words#text#guys the fics i could’ve made…#i could rival authors of many centuries#i’m a statue erected in gold#thank you junky hanker#hanker#JANKER
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MC: Everyone thinks Sebastian and I are the bad influence on Tomtom, but they seem to forget that Ominis is a Gaunt.
Sebastian: Unlike MC and I, Ominis may hate dark magic but he is creative.
Tom: He was the one who taught me how to accio people's body hair. Then I had to try to accio their eyeballs. It was messy and it took several attempts but now I know it's possible.
Ominis: At least I'm keeping our son away from the dark arts while also stimulating his imagination.
MC: You only say that because you couldn't see the results of his experimentation.
#adopted dark lord au#hogwarts legacy#ominis gaunt#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy mc#tom riddle#ominis is the main reason tom is a powerful dark lord#what use is in knowledge if one doesnt know how to use it#i miss being creative
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i miss my toys. my lps. my monsters high & my wooden train. god i miss the time when my room was all about creativity and having fun. it’s all gone.
#nostaligiacore#nostalgia#nostalgic#i miss being creative#i miss my childhood#inner child#childhood#vent txt#personal rant#my thougts#my diary#dear diary#cursed child#cw vent#generalized anxiety disorder#gloomcore#severe depression#severe anxiety#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#suic1de
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Painting at work!
#painting#moon#I haven’t painted since high school#I miss being creative#even if its not good#personal
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I’m tired, my stomach is upset, my eyes hurt, and I haven’t had the energy to work on my book in nearly two months.
I am on my knees begging and praying for the New Year to cut me some slack so I can stop feeling so damn awful all the time… =_=
#personal crap#venting#do not reblog#I miss being creative#sometimes I’m able to do it in small bursts if I can’t sleep#but I wanna make it my goal to at least finish a rough draft of my book by the end of 2024#I just wanna sleep through the night and then write a bunch in the morning goddamn it
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happy 218 day, i miss you guys <3
#i miss writing#i miss being creative#i miss being inspired#i miss not being tired#this is starting to head into pity party territory which is not what i wanted#just wanted to hop on and post what’s becoming my monthly ‘not dead just hanging in there’ post lol#anyway#i really do miss u guys and hope 2023 is treating u well so far#i hope u can eat some pizza in dk’s honor#savv speaks
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This couldn't be more real for me now 🥲
#relatable#sadly relatable#bpd#actually bpd#survival mode#painful reality#I miss being creative#but I'm just focused on survival right now#and of trying to get out of here
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i did literally one painting post-high school and then i gave it up. i need to get back into it again.
#painting#i need to take an art class again#my skills were sub-par to begin with#beyond rusty at this point#i miss being creative
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Daily Writes
I don't write like I used to. In middle school words flowed to my laptop like how poems flow to poets but now, stories are too restrictive.
"write using imagery" my sophomore english teacher says, like my words are rocks I need to describe in beautiful words so my mom will let me take them home.
"your message is aimed towards your audience" my junior english teacher says, like my stories are written for everyone except for me.
"you don't want to pursue writing" my father tells me, annoyed at this kid he barely raised wanting to be an artist and instead of a doctor.
"maybe these classes will help you in college" sighs my mother, as her fingers tap the sign up button for a free writing class the library offers.
I stopped writing when writing became a chore for others, even though for my world is brighter when the words are articulated.
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Trying to brain up Danny/Sam thoughts and boy is it a struggle
#honestly if I could brain up anything for any of my fandoms#like that would be great#I miss being creative
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Murder She Wrote and Sweeney Todd.
…you know what, Jess would probably solve it, narrowly avoid getting killed, and get Sweeney to confess by the end. She’d prolly take in Toby too 😭
And if we go with Lansbury as Mrs Lovett, they’d prolly be distantly related cousins, too, knowing MSW canon.
combine your first real fandom with your current one to create a terrible, terrible au
#god if I had time#I would absolutely write this#I miss being creative#fandom smash#murder she wrote#Sweeney Todd
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