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#i might write something in a few days
walkingstackofbooks · 1 month
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"Are you happier? Now that the war is over?"
It had been meant as a serious question, but from the look on Kira's face, she hadn't caught onto that. "What sort of question is that, 'am I happier'?" she asked, laughing a little as she spoke. "Of course I am! Who isn't?"
Shrugging, Julian forced himself to smile back at her. "No, of course," he agreed. "Silly question."
His smile clearly hadn't been convincing: Kira's own smile had faded as she looked at him more closely, her eyebrows creasing into a frown.
"Have I done something to make you think I'm not?" she asked sharply. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"No-- no, nothing like that," Julian said hurriedly. "I mean, obviously Odo's gone now, and Keiko and the Chief, and Worf, and... and the Captain... But that-- That's different, isn't it, I guess. You can be sad and happy at the same time, right?"
He cringed, knowing that he hadn't quite managed to make sense there: years of practice had made him very good at recognising Kira's 'baffled' expression.
"All these years," said Kira, slowly shaking here head, "and I still don't understand you, sometimes. Of course I miss Odo, and the others -- and while we're at it, of course I'm still angry and-- and upset about the things that happened during the war..." She made a face, banging her fist lightly against the table. "Damn you, you know I'm no good with feelings, that's... there's a lot more there, besides," she added. "And I'm sure as hell not going into that right now...
"But if you're asking whether I'd rather be here, now, living without the threat of the Dominion or the Cardassians, knowing my friends are alive and safe -- and if they're not, at least being able to mourn them in peace, not having to make decisions that could get us all killed if it goes even slightly wrong... or if I'd rather be back there, in the war -- well. It's no contest, is it?"
"In theory, no, of course--"
"In theory?" Kira asked incredulously. "Julian, are you saying you were happier in the war?"
"No!" he exclaimed: that hadn't been what he'd meant at all. "The war was-- it was... Well, you couldn't be happy during the war, could you? Everything was too awful, it was impossible."
"A lot of the time, yeah," Kira said softly. "And that's gonna stick with us for a long time -- but they're only memories, now. We made it."
"We did," Julian said quietly, his eyes fixed on the table. "I just... I thought I'd be happier, I guess. Now that it's all over."
Kira reached forward, brushing her hand over his. "That's what this is all about?" she asked. "You aren't happy?"
"I never said I'm not," Julian objected hotly, looking back up at her -- but a sigh slipped out of him as he realised he didn't actually have an argument, and he shook his head, slumping back into his chair. Kira watched him, not saying anything.
"No, you're right," he admitted, pulling his arms across himself, almost too tight. "I know I'm supposed to be-- I know, after everything, it's so stupid... But, Nerys, I don't-- I don't think I am?"
Stopping to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat, he noticed he eyes had grown wet, which for some reason made him chuckle. "Isn't that silly?" he asked, leaning forward again. "We won the war, but I'm still not happy."
"No, Julian," Kira replied slowly. "I don't think that's silly at all. It's just... It's just very, very sad." She took a breath, reaching out to hold both his hands this time. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I didn't know."
"It's not your fault," he said, squeezing her hands tightly. "For a while, I just thought everyone else was pretending, too, so I just went along with it... And then I started to realise that no, you were all actually at least a little bit okay, and so I had to keep pretending, because happiness is so fragile and I didn't, you know, want to make anyone else feel bad just because I..."
He trailed off, shrugging a little. "I don't know, Nerys. I guess I just wanted to check that it wasn't just me, but it is just me, and now I've told you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad--"
"Julian, no," Kira interrupted. "Thank you for sharing this with me -- I'm glad you told me, okay?"
Ears growing hot, Julian ducked his head, not quite sure to do with the wave of emotion spilling over him. Now that he'd told her some of it, he kind of wanted to let everything out. Distractedly, he started tracing patterns on her hands, pushing into them with increasing intensity.
"It's just-- I'm just..." He stumbled over his words, struggling to give voice to the one thought that he'd been trying to ignore for months. "What if this is it for me? What if I'm like this forever? It's been years, Nerys--"
To his horror, his voice cracked, and he covered his mouth, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to burst out. Hoping that no-one else had noticed, he looked around the replimat; thankfully the other diners seemed more interested in their own conversations than in him and Kira.
"Would you like to go somewhere less public?" Kira asked. Not quite trusting himself to speak, he nodded, and together they left the replimat.
As they walked down the promenade and up to the habitat ring, Kira steered clear of their previous conversation, chatting about the station, her week, her latest grievance with Quark, and Julian was grateful for the respite. But as soon as they were sat down in her quarters, she turned to him with a most serious expression.
"It isn't right, you feeling like that, you know," she said. "I don't have the answers, I don't know how it gets better -- but we both know someone who would. You haven't tried telling Ezri any of this, have you?"
Julian's stomach tightened: Ezri was the last person he wanted to have this particular conversation with. "Oh, yes, because that would go so well," he retorted sarcastically. "Hi Ezri, I love you, but you don't make me happy. Don't worry, it's not you, I'm just unhappy most of the time. Most of the time? Yeah, it gets better when I'm around you, because then I just kind of feel... nothing. What an improvement!"
"Julian..." whispered Kira, but it was all coming out now and Julian couldn't make it stop. He rose from the sofa, starting to pace as he spoke.
"Did you ever make me happy? Maybe, sweetheart, but I'm not even certain of that. I might have been so desperate for anything even resembling happiness that I just deluded myself into thinking I was in love... Do I even love you? Who the fuck knows, Ezri. Is love even real, or did it die in the war along with every-fucking-thing else?"
His voice had risen louder than he'd intended, condemning him with every word it pushed forcefully into the air. He'd made Kira cry, he thought, but he couldn't quite be sure, his vision being clouded by his own mess of tears.
"How could I possibly tell her that?" he asked, sitting back down heavily, his voice dropping to a hollow whisper. "Kira, how the hell do I tell her that?"
"Come here," she said in way of a response, pulling him against her and holding him tightly, so that he could feel her lips move against his hair as she answered him. "I don't know," she was saying, "but you have to, Julian. I can be there with you if you want but, Prophets, Julian, you have to. How could you not?"
How could he not?
Julian closed his eyes and let himself fall apart against his friend, not even bothering to try to answer her. It was terrifying, after all this time, to finally allow someone to see how broken he really was, but he was far, far too tired to keep it in any longer.
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WOE! object show doodles be upon ye!
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idk some doodles and some ss redraws of object shows i enjoy
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starpros-sunshine · 1 month
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
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I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
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from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
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kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
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I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
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3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
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(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
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So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
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as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
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Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
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And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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lenievi · 22 days
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Just something short I wrote for "I can’t believe you were that stupid" Saturday prompt over at 30+ fanfic discord.
Might potentially take place in the same 'verse as this and this snippet. Just weeks later and after Cosette gets married.
warning: mentioned canon Valjean's self-harm. first draft.
Jean Valjean/Javert
It's kind of (my idea of) fluffy – for the two of them.
---
Valjean rolled up his sleeves. Before he could take the sickle, Javert caught his elbow in a firm but gentle grip.
“I can’t believe you were that stupid,” Javert said, carefully tracing the burn scar on Valjean’s forearm with his fingers.
It had been a week since Javert learnt about its origin, but except for a few furtive looks at Valjean’s forearm, he hadn’t mentioned it again. Valjean would prefer if he'd forgotten. The notion of Javert caring—caring about him and his well-being—was still strange. Strange and yet… not entirely unpleasant.
Valjean shrugged. “What does one more scar matter?”
Javert dug his fingers into Valjean’s flesh and raised his head, his other hand falling. His throat worked. Valjean could see that there were things Javert wanted to say, but he seemed to swallow them and stayed silent.
Valjean sighed. “I told you they had been threatening Cosette. I couldn’t have them bother us again.”
“I know.” Javert’s grip softened; his thumb caressed—for there was no other word than that—the skin around the tender scar, sending shivers down Valjean’s spine, and as he had done for weeks, Valjean ignored the sensation.
“I knew I could handle it,” he said instead. Even after twelve years, he could still remember the searing pain caused by the stolen coin he had taken from the fireplace in his house in Montreuil and clutched hard in his palm. That one, he’d deserved; the other one, he’d done for Cosette. He’d never regret it, for she had cared for him when he’d returned home. Washed his wound, sat with him, loved him. He would treasure that memory forever now when she was married and not by his side anymore.
“It was still foolish of you,” Javert said, letting his hand fall.
An odd sense of disappointment washed over Valjean at the loss of Javert’s touch, and he quickly grabbed the sickle. The garden had been overgrown and needed a lot of work.
But he didn’t move.
When Javert had looked at him with eyes that seemed to try to penetrate his mind and read his thoughts in Montreuil, Valjean hadn’t been able to break their eye contact for fear of looking weak and guilty. Now, he didn’t want to look away and instead, it was Javert who often couldn’t maintain the contact for long.
Javert ran his fingers over the workbench and removed some of the soil that had been forgotten. “Yet, you continue to astonish me. You’ve always done things that haven't benefited or harmed you. Even—” Javert stopped himself. “No matter.”
Despite the time that had passed, it was still bizarre hearing Javert, who had never stopped to consider someone else’s reasons or circumstances in the past, who had only assumed that everything Valjean did had been to gain something, speak like that.
“I only did what I had to do. You must know what it feels like now; you let me go.”
Javert frowned. “That was different.”
“Was it?” Valjean remembered Javert’s shaking shoulders and sobs as he clutched the fireplace mantel in the drawing room on rue de l’Homme-Armé. He remembered what had come after, Javert’s despair and desperation as he clung to Valjean in a strange imitation of an embrace.
“Yes,” Javert said, and he sounded almost sure. “I didn’t let you go.”
No, he didn’t. That Javert was here in Digne with him, was proof enough. “No, you didn’t,” Valjean agreed and nodded at the wall above the workbench. “Take the other sickle and let me teach you how to use it. If you are to stay, you can be useful.”
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deoidesign · 2 months
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just to inquire, what’s your favorite thing you sell in your shop?
i love your comic!
Oh thank you!
And my favorite thing... That's hard to answer haha
I like selling prints because I get to use my nice printer (which I love to do) and I especially love selling custom panel prints, because then I get to see people's favorite panels from my comic, which is double nice...
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The most fun items to pack are the merch bundles which are themed with my books, I LOVE coming up with packaging design like this so much...
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But my favorite design has gotta be one of these... Probably the patch, there.
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It's really hard for me to pick!
I actually genuinely just am really passionate about product design and merch themeing, it's not only extremely fun for me but it also just really engages my brain. I love coming up with items that fit a theme, and there's no theme I love more than my own comics haha
So there's not much I could enjoy more! That's why I chose to do a merch club on patreon, it lets me get out my merch-y feelings but without overloading my storefront... Plus it's just really fun for me! I get to experiment, make little packages, and enjoy making new things.
Thank you for asking!
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cerise-on-top · 6 months
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Hiiii love bug can you do the fluff alphabet for farah
If your still doing that🫶🏻🫶🏻
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I don't think the two of you understand how grateful I am that I got the same request twice! Writing these takes an eternity! However, these are not proofread, I am too tired to do that, so please excuse any mistakes!
And don't worry about the frequent requests, I'm used to the same people requesting from me several times in a row!
Fluff Alphabet for Farah
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Farah is an active kind of person, so she would love nothing more than to go out on a hike with you. Or maybe explore the surrounding area a bit. She doesn’t need to discover something every time, but spending that time with you is nice. However, if the weather is anything but nice, then she’ll simply spend the time cuddling with you in bed. Or maybe do a puzzle with you as well. She loves the ones with animal motives.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
Farah can be a heated woman. She had to be in order to gain everyone’s respect. However, you still have the patience to calmly talk to her. You have the patience to talk her down when she’s about to smack someone again. Don’t get me wrong, she has a lot of self restraint, but it’s still nice to have someone be your voice of reason from time to time. She admires the fact that you’re usually a rather calm sort of person.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
Farah is pretty good at talking. She’ll usually distract you from everything, be it by telling you about the beetle she saw or by giving you the most comforting hug you’ve ever received in your life. If you’re experiencing a panic attack, then she’ll play some games with you to get you to calm down. I’ve mentioned it before, but she knows a few breathing exercises as well, or maybe she helps you using the 54321 method. Either way, she won’t be leaving your side until she’s certain nothing bad is going to happen anymore.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
She likes to think that her cause will help her build something semi-utopic. She knows fully well that Urzikstan will never become a full utopia, but she wants it to be a nice, peaceful place since it is achievable. She loves her country, so she’d love nothing more than to live there with you. Maybe adopt some animals, have some farmland, tend to your plants and live off them. She wants to be self-sufficient to some degree. She also wants it to be disgustingly domestic, like taking your wrist as she runs ahead to show you something. 
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Dominant, definitely. Farah usually says what she thinks and isn’t afraid to take charge either. You’re more than welcome to add your input, she actually likes it when you do so, but she usually gets her way. Her ideas are usually good as well, so they’re worth entertaining. However, it’s clear she wears the pants in the relationship. If you’re too scared to talk to the waiter regarding your order, she’s your woman. She can do just about anything with confidence,
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
It depends on the topic. Usually, Farah doesn’t forgive or forget that easily. Even when it’s you, she won’t forget the way you spew your poison of passive-aggressiveness at her. However, if it’s you, then she’s more easy to forgive. She does value what you have. While fighting she is also very passive-aggressive. Won’t yell at you, but she will make her point clear. Doesn’t budge easily either. Fighting with her is rough since she’s usually in the right, she knows what she’s talking about. If it’s something small she won’t always admit she was in the wrong either. 
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Generally speaking, she’s on the more grateful side. War could take her away from you any moment, so she has to be grateful. She’s grateful for everything you do for her, from cleaning the dishes to folding the laundry to giving her a kiss before every operation. It won’t last for eternity, so she needs to make every moment count, ergo she’s very grateful for all the time she gets to spend with you.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
She doesn’t tell you about every operation she goes on. Doesn’t tell you about all the people she’s killed. However, she’s a rather open person in general. If you’re close enough, if she trusts you enough, then she’ll share her tragic past with you and open up to you. Sometimes she will seek out comfort from you as well. So yeah, there won’t be too many secrets in your relationship on her behalf. At least none that are relevant.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
She’d likely always try to overwork herself, becoming a better version of herself. She blames herself for the people who have died for her cause, even if not all of those deaths were her fault. You’d likely get her to relax for a little bit, calm down as well. Although she will still mourn every brother and sister she’d have lost, she won’t grieve too much about it anymore. She has a big goal to work towards, a better future for her people, her and you. Together.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Kind of. If you’re getting too close to someone for her liking, then yes, she absolutely gets jealous. Especially if she doesn’t know that person well. She won’t kiss you in front of that person to get them to back off, but she will gently grab your hand and hold it in front of that person so that they get the right idea. But she doesn’t really act too much on it otherwise. She’s an adult, she know better than to second guess your relationship. She’s not that insecure.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
I don’t think Farah has had anyone before you, never having had time for a relationship before. However, I don’t think she’d be a bad kisser. A bit clumsy, maybe, bumping noses together, but she wouldn’t be bad. She’d be average. However, she’s a quick learner, so she’ll get there fairly quickly. Your first kiss would be clumsy. She’d miss your mouth a bit and kiss your cheek instead. And when she’d go for it again, she’d bump her nose against yours. It got both of you to giggle.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
Nothing too fancy, she doesn’t have time for that. She’d invite you for a walk, get to a nice spot and then confess to you there. Although her language may get a bit flowery, she gets straight to the point. Do you want to be together with her? Yes or no? She doesn’t really have the time for heartbreak, or too many feelings, so she just wanted to get it out as soon as possible.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
I don’t think she particularly wants to get married. Sure, she wants to live together with you and have a good old time, but she doesn’t need to be bound to you by some silly vow. Isn’t her daily adoration, the way she almost worships you, enough for you? She’s committed anyway, she loves you above all else, but she doesn’t see the need to put a ring to it.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Habibi/habibti, rohi or ya amar in Arabic, and my love, my moon or my heart in English. She loves having sappy and romantic nicknames for you in her native tongue and in English. However, she does like to add “my” in front of those words to show everyone that you’re hers and hers only. Besides, calling you hers makes her heart flutter. She sometimes gets creative in Arabic and calls you all kinds of sweet and mushy, over the top nicknames.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It’s only kind of obvious, and only to those close to her. She gets more chatty with you, she gets ever so slightly more touchy with you as well. While she may not always be able to make time for you, she will go out of her way to grab some coffee with you and talk over anything and everything first. She doesn’t really express her feelings that much, only the necessary amount for them to not bother her too much. Brings you gifts sometimes, holds your hand when she can, compliments you as well. That sort of thing. Will also think about you a whole lot more.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
She doesn’t really brag about your relationship, but she doesn’t hide it from the world either. If someone asks about you then she’ll tell them about you, but she won’t go out of her way to introduce you as her partner every time. She’s not shy about PDA, but she doesn’t really go out of her way to show it either. If you wanna kiss her, then that’s fine, you don’t have to hold back, but she won’t really go beyond hand holding of her own accord. Again, do as you please, but keep it within reason.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
She knows how to speak her mind. You won’t ever see her lying about something, she’s just honest like that. There’s really no reason to walk on eggshells around you all the time. She’s good at communicating her every want and need, so you’ll know what to do. She’s also more than happy to negotiate with you about something. Communication is key, and she can do just that. She’s like that with everyone else too, so why shouldn’t she be like that with you as well? You’ll always know what she thinks, either through your intuition or through her telling you.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
She can be rather romantic in theory. In practice she really doesn’t have the time for much else aside from the occasional walk. She wants to eat at a fancy restaurant with you, watch some awful but funny rom coms, dance in the rain, win some plushies for you at a fair. She really does want to do all those things with you, but she can’t since she doesn’t have the time or the means to. So, for the time being, it will be cooking together, cuddling on the bed and eating snacks. But other than that, she will do whatever is in her power to make you happy. She would go as far as tell the most embarrassing jokes in the hearing range of anyone just to see you smile.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Yes. She will support you however she can. Truth be told, she won’t be able to do too much since she doesn’t have a lot of money she can spend freely, and she doesn’t have a lot of time either, but she will always ask you about what progress you’ve made thus far. If you need a shoulder to cry on, she’s there for you. If you just want someone to give you an inspiring speech, she can do that too. Just give her the word and she’ll do whatever’s in her power.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
She likes having a routing for the basic things, but she does like something new every once in a while as well. As mentioned already, she likes going on walks and hikes with you. Sometimes she’ll take a different route just so she can see some new scenery with you. It doesn’t have to be anything big, sometimes just trying the new vendor’s food is enough for her as well. However, she needs something new every once in a while, otherwise she’ll grow bored of life. She does want you to be part of it as well, though.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
I like to think she would know you pretty well by the time you’re together. She notices the subtle things in and about you as well, and will mention them too if they’re positives. She can be a pretty empathetic person as well, but not too much. Although she’d love to share the pain of her brothers and sisters, she can’t always do so. But that doesn’t mean she’s not immune to the cries of the suffering. If you’re happy, she’s happy. But if you’re sad then she’ll also feel a twinge of sadness. However, her emotions won’t nearly be as intense as yours.
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
Your relationship is very important to her. About as important as her closest friends and her cause. She would go to great lengths to keep you safe. But I don’t think she would stop her cause entirely for that sake. Uzbekistan is important to her. However, I don’t think you would ever get in a situation where she had to choose between her people and you. She does keep you safe at all times. You likely won’t have to worry about the harder choices with her.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
She probably has a plushie that she gave to you. It was important to her, but she wanted you to have it. She loves it, if she could she’d still be actively cuddling it. It was a gift from a young girl who wanted to support her cause. It’s among Farah’s most cherished items. However, she does believe that the plushie is in better hands with you. Will sometimes take it from you and just hold it for a few moments before returning it to you, though.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Behind closed doors? Absolutely. If it was up to her, you’d be cuddling the entire stinking day away. She won’t go overboard if that’s what you want, but she loves to give you kisses to your forehead. Another thing she really loves is to hold your hand while you’re sleeping next to her. She’ll squeeze it gently too to show you that she’s there for you. She really wants you to dream a little dream of her being madly in love with you and taking good care of you as well.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
By remembering all the good times you’ve had together. She’ll also text you quite often, sending you funny pictures of her with this cool bug and lizard she found on a rock. Might call you on the calmer evenings as well to ask you how you’re doing. Your voice really calms her down, it’s the most soothing sound on the planet for her. She’ll also go through the photo gallery and the selfies she made with you, or all the pictures she has of you in general.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Pretty much, yeah. However, she’ll always play it safe whenever you’re involved somehow. She’ll keep guards posted if it means you won’t get kidnapped. While she won’t be able to afford an even greater war with even more nations involved, she will absolutely kill for you. She can’t afford to die, so she’ll live for you instead. Her line of work is rough, but she’ll do what she can to keep you happy. Even when she’s been shot, she’ll limp back to you just so you could see her alive.
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slasherscream · 5 months
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really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have
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#then i'm left trying not to respond like a bitch when the rules are there in the first place so i don't have to have negative interactions#with the people who come to this blog#like keeping it 100 you write for yourself but you write for ENGAGEMENT and COMMUNITY#and these days in fandom there really is no community#for any fandom across the board#people see something and move on#that's bad enough at killing fandoms#but the fact that a creator can have really only one super hard rule and it gets disregarded every day#day in and day out! and i really mean it this rule gets broken in my inbox DAILY man!#i write for a lot of small fandoms or smaller characters i love the characters i'm happy to do it#but i have an adult job. college. friends. family. my own original creative projects#and even if i don't respond to the asks where people are blatantly violating /again/#one of my FEW rules#it's exhausting to even see it !!!#it makes me not feel like a person#who cares what the girl behind the screen asked me not to do? right?? but i'm about done#i'm only at my breaking point because i've had this blog now for what three or four years??#and no matter how i phrase the rule people break it#no matter how many reminder posts#it's exhausting because it's an every day daily thing#idk maybe i'll feel better abt it in the morning but i'm getting exhausted tbh#exhausted as in this blog might be going BYE BYE i wont delete i think you'd have it up until tumblr goes away but i am getting pissed off#TRULY pissed off bc it's been years of me asking cmon now
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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eggmeralda · 4 months
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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zeroducks-2 · 11 months
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Could I ask for a number 10 or 21?? Whatever you want. Both sound insane for sladick. <3
10. "Don't you dare" + 21. "Say my name" - Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson
(TW drowning, non-descriptive torture)
Waterboarding isn't the type of torture that should be attempted by amateurs, given that everything can go very wrong in a matter of seconds.
Dick is well capable of holding his breath underwater for more than five minutes. Not that much more than five minutes, but still. And it's probably because of it that his "interviewer" gets a bit overexcited, and decides to just... hold his head into the metal vat, without letting him up. At all. Dick makes a show of thrashing and trying to kick after less than ninety seconds, but it doesn't work and the asshole clubs him at the base of his back, strong enough for something in his pelvis to break, and Dick's focus is gone.
Water starts getting in his lungs and panic is quick to set in, but adrenaline fuels his burning muscles as Dick forcefully emerges with a snap, nape colliding with that fucker's face accompanied by the telltale crack of a nose breaking. And just like that he's out of the water but he still can't breathe. Regardless of how much he tries to cough and hack, his lungs stay full and it's with more rising panic that he realizes to be suffocating on the floor of the interrogation room.
He doesn't really feel it when someone lifts him up and cuts the rope around his wrists, he just registers that his arms now are free and there's pressure just below his rib-cage, then nothing, then a blow that forces him to bend over and expel a mouthful of water.
«Don't you dare.» A snarl comes from behind his back, then there's another blow to his upper abdomen, upsetting his already broken ribs, and Dick would likely scream if it wasn't that there is no room for air in his lungs. More water comes out. «Don't you fucking dare, kid. Breathe.»
Dick tries his best, fumbling for air and managing a strangled cry when more pressure forces him to cough, and finally he manages to gasp and draw a sliver of air in.
Again he's not sure exactly what happens after that, but at some point he's being held against someone's side, still mildly coughing but he's pretty sure he isn't going to die at this point. He chances a look around and sees the man who was interrogating him; he's lying face down in a pool of blood, and Dick's eyes narrow, he can't have killed him. He broke his nose, didn't he? But just that, the man shouldn't be dead. What the hell.
«There you are.»
Dick's head gets pulled up as he's held more upright, and he manages to sit up with a grunt, ignoring the pain all over. He frowns at the black and orange of the man's mask, and his addled brain puts together that Deathstroke is the one who killed Dick's torturer; all that blood comes from a bullet in the head, not a stupid broken nose. «Look up here.» There's a quiet hiss of smoke and then the man's helmet goes, showing gray hair and a sharp blue eye. Dick winces at his frown and looks away, but the other snaps his fingers and makes him reflexively look back. «Say my name.»
«Hn. Slade.» He croaks, but a moment later he's surprised to see the man's expression distend in relief.
«Yeah.» Slade roughly runs a hand through his damp hair on the nape, and weird as it is to acknowledge it, holds him tighter for a moment. «You're okay.»
«Were you... hah... doubting it...?» He rasps out, forcing a grin, and the man replies with a glare.
«What the hell came into you.» Slade pinches his chin with his usual "no arguments" tone, his glower staying. «I'm the one who decides when you work alone and when not. You were not supposed to take initiative.»
«What are you gonna do?» Dick coughs, having to turn around to expel more water. Slade lets him, helping him stay up in the process. «...punish me?»
«You know very well that I should.»
That's what Slade would normally do for a job badly done. It hasn't happened in a while though, and it's not like Dick remembers it fondly, but also... well, he kind of thinks he deserves it, because he really did mess up this time. He's gotten himself captured, to name one. Fledgling nonsense, that's what this is. At least he didn't speak a word and revealed absolutely nothing, even if it resulted in almost an entire week of starvation, a leg broken in two parts, a dislocated shoulder, contusions over the entirety of his back...
«Did they-» Slade narrows his eye and a flash passes through it, something wild that in another situation would make Dick wary. «Did they touch you...?»
Dick knows what that means. He shakes his head, not that it would change the fate of the people who captured him. He knows they're all dead already, or anyway they will be soon. But... at least it can help Slade's peace of mind. It's going to take a bit more convincing though, given the searching stare and the way the man grips him tight. Dick sighs and it sounds wet like he's had a chest infection, and tightens both hands on the man's biceps, forcing his swollen left arm to move.
«They didn't.» He says, trying to sound as assured as he can. «They didn't, Slade, I swear. They just beat me up. They wanted to know about you but they didn't make it personal... just this one,» he nods to the body of the man who went this close to drowning him. «I guess he had a few screws loose. But the others were, heh... pretty professional.»
The lines of Slade's face remain hard but there's something that unspools in his expression, Dick can tell. «Alright.» He concedes, touching a thumb to Dick's cheek subtly and briefly enough that Dick isn't sure he hasn't imagined it. «Now let's get out of here.»
Thank you for asking anon ♥ Here's the prompt list for whoever wants to peruse it, or send me another prompt :)
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mitamicah · 8 months
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I see a lot of people have made covers of the snippet of Everybody's Waiting (the new JO track)
I may do it too but at the same time I am hesitant given that I am 90% sure they won't see it (since everything else I'd ever made have never been noticed by them - Bojan's big share yesterday included) and if by chance it is getting seen I am not sure how I'd feel having the first thing noticed by them be just another cover
I am probably overthinking things again
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the-kipsabian · 8 months
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todays free tip to any fellow creatives or literally just whoever
if you get an idea, write it down
even if it feels like it might be stupid. even if it just a word or a line or piece of dialogue or a simple concept or whatever. just write it down
even if its not enough to stand on its own as a full piece, maybe you can add it as a part of something later. even if it sounds stupid now, it might be the most brilliant thing when the time comes to use it. or maybe someone else will love that little addition when you add it in. even if you might think its above your skill level, there might be a day when you look at it and actually say to yourself "im ready" and you know you are and you can work with it and be happy with it
just write it down
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non-un-topo · 1 year
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Been writing some bonus/missing scenes from my tetrad mysteries series because I miss writing these four idiots so bad but have no energy ;_;
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kukkakisu · 2 months
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Sometimes brain is mean to you. It says things that aren't true. Maybe they are things that you have heard before from someone else. Little seeds that have been planted in your brain, that have grown to cover up the voice of reason. Sometimes they are hard to get rid of. Like weeds. Invasive species that take root deeply and refuse to leave, taking up all of your space. It's difficult to thrive. But even so, it's not impossible. Hiss at them every time they whisper something that isn't true. Scratch at the vines that try to sneak up around you. What is in the past might still haunt you, but don't let it hurt you. Fight it. Bite it. Outgrow it. Take back the space they once took from you and live.
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dawntheduckrb · 9 months
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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