#i might write analysis about specific character songs in the future

[pigeon-smidge]

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven.  ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings. 

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax 

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.  

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences. 

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov. 

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it. 

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’,  but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’  is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand),  Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

 ‘we could’ve been …. us.’ 

‘our side.’ 

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song). 

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him.  ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!! 

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’  Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.  

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy. 

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from. 

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics: 

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale 

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’ 

&

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him. 

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks. 

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness. 

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me). 

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D 

~~

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now 

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

'When your impressionist paintings of Heaven turned out to be fake, well, you took me to Hell too.' - loml, The Tortured Poets Department

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

[cousticks]

Yo! I'm Cou, like in Acoustic! That's where the 'cousticks' comes from (mind blown, yet?) I'm a whole 21 years old, and would prefer they/it pronouns.

This account is my dumping ground for fandom posting, including analysis, aus (which you can find a list of here), writing, doodles, and more! You can find some of this writing on AO3, too.

I follow back from the url 'causticacoustic', as this is one sideblog of several. Please do not be alarmed by a purple Master Chief icon following you out of nowhere, or leaving asks, that's me!

Minors are welcome, but I'd prefer only my 18+ friends DM me. 18+ mutuals are welcome to my discord, too! Just send me a DM.

I encourage talking to me. Be it via asks (anon or not!), comments, reblogs, DMs, whatever, I love conversation, I'm just a little incapable of starting it, usually.

More blog info below!

Content

This is mostly a BSD blog. In the future it may also contain other media. Vanitas no Carte is probably going to make an appearance eventually, who knows what'll come after that.

Other media interests I doubt I'll post about here include:

the Halo universe

FLCL (only the og. we don't talk about the reboots.)

Portal games

Dishonored games

bad action movies in general

and more!

I also have other non-media interests, but I won't clog this up with them. You should totally ask me about them though.

I don't post or reblog anything NSFW. This is 90% because I don't want to forget to tag something, 5% because I'm ace and don't really need that here, and 5% because I don't want to make this blog a place minors can't go.

Tagging

Honestly, I'm not great at tagging upsetting content. If you need something specific tagged then leave me a DM or ask (anon or not) or something and I'll try my best to keep a running list of what needs tagged and how (I keep a Google Doc for myself for my tagging system and will happily add your needed tags to it). Chances are, you'd be seeing violence or blood. If you're in the BSD fanbase, I'm kind of making a blanket assumption that you're okay with that when you interact around here. If not? Good luck, I guess.

I give all characters their own individualized tags. I'm working on making them all short song lyrics. Please feel free to ask about any tags you see! Characters that haven't been given lyric tags yet are given the tag 'placeholder [character] tag.' If they're an au-specified character, such as from Beast, its specifically 'beast [Character] tag'. I have a handful of AU and/or concept emoji tags. If I ever see it relevant enough, I'll make a key for them.

Drawings are tagged #doodles. 'Personal' not really content posts are tagged #sticky note. More put-together posts I intend to actually circulate in the world are tagged with the fandom and relevant characters / novels, ex. #bsd dazai, #bsd fifteen, etc. People I interact with frequently might find themselves with their own tags as well! Mutuals, please don't think I suck for not giving you a tag or something pretty pretty please. My brain is very tired so I'm limiting it to those that appear often I promise I'm not slighting you personally on purpose.

Asks

I love getting asks. They can be actual questions on my thoughts, chain mail, insults, little gifts, whatever. I don't care. I love them and will treat them all with care. I have anon enabled and will always have it enabled. I'm also a big fan of ask games and have a ton of them tagged under #ask games. Those are all active all the time forever (though if its an older one you'd have to specify) I just like having things to talk about. Please talk to me.

This is very long and says absolutely nothing. Please direct all questions, comments, or complaints to the ask box.

[tazumihanako]

So midnights is based on Taylor swifts album midnights and now with this vault track your losing me I want to now make a chapter for it specifically after the biggest moment in the entire story. And god thinking about it I’m just like damn that chapter is going to be the most heart wrenching chapter I feel because of what the song entails and I like to try and match the story to the songs best I could with more detail. But this is probably the most slow burn I’ve even done in terms of the end game pair. Like we got an established crush and one already in love from the beginning but ya know. Plus we got everyone and there mother crushing on Kyle which we will focus on certain ones but I do love the rivalry of Kenny vs Stan for Kyle. So I might be bias haha. But now all im thinking is Kyle with the line “I wouldn’t marry me either a pathological people please” and it hits.

Since I’m taking my time I think I might be doing small character analysis for each character. This one is going to be able Kyle and Stan and their dynamic along with how they are in this story.

Kyle in this story is as we know him in the show and is as close to canon as humanly possible. He fights for what he believes in and has a righteousness to help those in need, part of the reason why Stan loves him so much. He can watch horror but actually hates it and can’t physically stand gore. (Reference the the passion of the Jew) he also can be quite guillible to a fault (reference the biggest douche in the universe for context) in this story he will most likely believe most things people tell him minus Cartman of course which in this story he does not know anyone but Stan and Wendy. It does get explained at some point how Stan met the others since the majority have lived in New York the entire time and not in Colorado like Stan Wendy and Kyle came from. Kyle is nice as he is in the show but he also has a tendency to get annoyed by things which can be seen in multiple scenes through out the story. But just cause it’s a super hero fic doesn’t mean that Kyle is some weak damsel in distress either. There will be times he will need saving cause he doesn’t have powers but he is also strong enough to defend himself and will prove time and time again that he can also save the hero’s back. He’s close with Stan but is also super oblivious to the fact Stan is in love with him and has been for years. Kyle is smart as hell but not when it comes to love.

Stan has loved Kyle for years and has always loved him. He shares a different taste in music than Kyle does because I imagine Stan be into hard core metal and things of that nature but he loves Kyle and so is trying to expand music taste to things he might love. Kyle I imagine to be unironically a swiftie and also just somehow into pop. Idk why but I headcanon that his genre is more indie, pop, rock and others but he doesn’t dive into the metal scene cause it’s too hardcore for him. Stan is also very much into gore which you can see in the same episode that Kyle was shown to not like gore. Stan is also less gullible as seen in the episode Kyle is shown to belive the guy about talking to his grandma and also seen when Kyle joins the cult till he realizes what they were planning. Stan was always the one to ground him and show him the true colors of people and Stan continues to do this through out the story. Both morally and out of jealousy of not wanting to share his best friend.

These are just some little tidbits to hold everyone over till chapter 2 is out. I got like 21 chapters or so to write so it’ll take a while but once it’s done I’ll be so happy 😁. Because this is fun and it’s all practice for me to write an actual novel in the future. But the novel will most likely be under another pen name. But I’ll be writing more tonight so hopefully can get it out tonight but I’m giving myself till end of week. I work better on a deadline.

[studentofetherium]

hey so here’s 1,100 words about Arknights music, particularly what it all it, what it means, and how it relates to the game. it’s just an outline of a subject which could be talked about in much more depth, but i hope it’s interesting anyway

so loosely, i think we can break Arknights music down into a few rough categories. three at the broadist, that being in-universe music, songs tied to characters, and songs that are just songs. however, it’s more complicated than that

IN-UNIVERSE MUSIC

these are songs that exist on Terra, that an Arknights character could conceivably listen to. most directly, the songs Alive and Aflame Avenue, meant to be performed by the in-universe band Alive Until Sunset, as well as Ready by DDD, and Not Your Business Part.2,  Loyal to the beat, and Melting White (which seems to be about Magallan, who is similarly based on a penguin) by Emperor

we can also assume the songs Curtain Call and Rhythm in Literature are in-universe songs, as the characters they’re associated with, The Playwright and Phantom, are musicians, so this is likely the music they perform as a troupe

the songs March On! and Towards Her Light are both nationalist anthems associated with characters who have close ties to their home nation of Victoria, Horn and Saileach. this also goes for Keep the torch which is associated with Pallas, another nationalist character, this time tied to Minos. that song was even sung in a constructed language resembling Greek, further demonstrating its in-universe nature. the song Song of Fools is sung from the point of view of Iberia’s people, wishing for better times. 

Hunter's Song is the last song from the in-universe music category, as Skadi in the Under Tides event sings a song with similar lyrics, making it the only song to show up directly in-game

SONGS ABOUT CHARACTERS

i broke the songs about characters section into two subsections:

character songs: songs sung from the point of view of a specific character, but which might not exist in-universe otherwise

and

“associated with character” songs: this includes songs whose lyrics might not directly relate to a character or characters, but through other media such as a music video, may still relate to them, as well as instrumental leitmotifs for 6* operators, which, owing to their lack of lyrics, can’t properly be properly categorized as character songs

the first category has 21 songs in it and the latter has 39. from the latter category, A Grand Adventure (Durin & Myrtle), Bridge to the Dawn (Pinus Sylvestris), CONFRONT (Rosmontis), El Brillo Solitario (Thorns), Evolutionary Mechanization (Eunectes), Field in the Light (Pinus Sylvestris), Gazing From Great Heights (U.S.S.G.), Gearing Up (Passenger), Hometown Wind (Bagpipe), Lily of the Valley (Suzuran), Lithos (Mudrock), Neon-lit Bustle (Aak), Rapier (Irene), Real Me (Carnelian), Reconnection (Surtr), Self-observation (Saga), Solitary Journey (Ceobe), Sparking Hydraulics (Weedy), Stay Gold (Blemishine), Till the Bell Tolls (Archetto), Till the Wave Ends (Dusk & Nian), Tipsy (Mountain), Voices (the Abyssal Hunters), Y1K (Mizuki), Zone 10-8 (Ethan), 却阑珊 (Lee), and 醉飞尘 (Ling)

several of these, such as El Brillo Solitario or Gazing From Great Heights could suggest what in-universe sounds like, as it mirrors the real-life musical styles of the areas which nations in Arknights in based on. however, other than that, there’s little that ties them to anything concrete within the world of Arknights

of the remaining nine songs in this category, it can be broken into two further categories. most are seem vague. their degree of relation to their respective characters varies, but none can be said to be “about” their characters in the same way that the character songs are. this category includes the songs, Autumn Moods (Croissant & Angelina), Daydaydream (Ch'en & Hoshiguma), Everything's Alright (Magallan & Mayer), Hold Onto The Light (Surtr, Thorns, & Zima), Random Randomly (Jessica, Snowsant, & Swire), Spring's Pulse (Myrrh & Nightingale), and Your Star (Nightmare, Podenco, & Scene). these songs frequently combine characters who could conceivably be associated with one another but otherwise don’t have much connection— aside from Ch’en and Hoshiguma, the exception— these are more based in vibes than anything else

however, the songs Lullabye (focusing on Faust & Mephisto) and Requiem (focusing on Patriot, and about FrostNova) are more direct. they’re also notable for the fact that they focus on non-playable characters and seem to talk about specific plot beats. more on this later

as for the character songs, their quality varies, in particular the degree to which they relate to their respective character’s characterization. some are quite direct, and others are more vague. i’m not an expert in every character, so i won’t attempt to analyze all of them. still, the songs Across the wind (Ch'en the Holungday), Ain't Seen Nothing Like This (also Ch'en the Holungday) Awaken (Specter the Unchained), Bluish Light (Lumen), Boiling Blood (Blaze), CanNot Wait For (W), Double Dragons (Ch'en, directed at Talulah), End Like This (Patriot, another song focusing on a non-playable character), Eternal Flame (Fiammetta), Heal the World (Gnosis), Immutable (Kal'tsit), Last Of Me (Frost Nova), Magic Theorem (Dorothy), Radiant (Nearl the Radiant Knight), Renegade (W), Silver Lining (SilverAsh), Ständchen (Ebenholz), Spark for Dream (Goldenglow), Winter Absolution (Shining), Wrathful Cerulean Flame (Amiya), and Прощание (Hellagur) seem to focus on their associated characters’ feelings, and frequently involve their hidden emotions or motivations

there are two other songs that don’t fit in the prior categories, that being ManiFesto:, which features performers singing from the perspectives of Emperor, Siege, Lappland, Indra, and Ethan, and Rock the Night Away, which features W, Zima, Blaze, and Frostleaf. these being such eclectic collections of characters as they are, they’re not especially useful to look at as anything but a fun extra

IDK THESE ARE JUST SONGS

there are a lot of other Arknights songs, which are either instrumentals or only loosely tie into the game through vibes. frequently, these tie into events or special occasions. there’s not much more to say about them without going into analysis

After It All, Come to Light, Crystallize, AJURIKA - Fading Sky, Feels, Heart Forest, I Believe In Us, Infected, Lean On, Never Give Up, Operation Barrenland, Operation Blade, Operation Cinder, Operation Dawnseeker, Operation Deepness, Operation Lead Seal, Operation Pine Soot, Operation Pyrite, Operation Spectrum, Operation Wild Scales, Reversed Time,  Rewinding Breeze, Save Us From Ourselves, Speed of Light, Summer Wave, Survive, Timeless, Tower Fierce, Two Feet On The Ground, Under Tides, Untitled World, and Wildfire

CONCLUSION

IDK! this ended up being longer than i meant it to be. i guess the interesting things here are the in-universe songs or the character songs. there are interesting things that can be further extrapolated from this if one chooses to look deeper on it. music is something Arknights quite obviously puts a lot of thought into, especially with the character songs, so it’s worth giving it focus

also i might have gotten stuff mixed up here because there’s a lot of songs and a lot of lists if i did don’t be rude and just lmk

[meadow-dusk]

FUCK i sent that too early i meant to also ask 🔎

Answering on this one cause it's funnier lol thank you for these! please accept them past the deadline (esp the term paper 😱)

📚 A song or album you could write a term paper on

I really want a chance to dive into this album head first. It's one of my offline downloads because it's so great: it's like being told an old story that you know and remember, but you pick up a new detail every time (rumor has it Greendale II is in the works?? hell yeah!) Sure, it's basic blues changes and a couple cliches but I think there is so much there. There's a lot of wisdom in these lines, themes of family, the right to privacy, and environmental justice that resonate BIG TIME with me, and reflections on society that could easily fill an essay. My prediction for 2023: expect to see it become a future album of the month. However, unlike a tumblr post, the good thing about a term paper is there's no character limit ;)

📣 A lyric that feels like it is specifically calling you out

I have a whole entire post of these nearly ready to go, but this one felt like the right answer today. I remember considering this lyric and realizing my desire to listen to anyone else was starting to go away. Why bother, when someone can make you feel so understood? He gets it. He always gets it. Feeling competent is so easily replaced by feeling inadequate, fullness in your soul replaced by a hollowed out heart, feeling beautiful and free replaced by feeling fundamentally unlovable. Somehow you get over all that and soldier on, until it starts to crack again and it all pours out and you have to tear at it for a minute before you bother to clean it up and put it back away. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get out of this cycle as long as I live, and it is out of control. Who could ever want someone like that??

🔎 A song you can’t stop analyzing

(Pretend to be surprised here!) This song demands analysis. In fact, maybe THIS should have been my term paper....

First of all, while the album version doesn't ever double back on itself, I absolutely love how this one cycles back around to repeat the opening bars. It gives the song a circuitous feeling, just like the seasons change and fade into one another before they start all over again. You can hear it on repeat forever this way: the unending flow of time. Why it made it back into the rotation 8 years after its release isn't totally obvious, but this performance is dedicated to president-elect Jimmy Carter. I guess it's easy to imagine how much joy and relief might have been in the hearts of the receiving audience, after we experienced something likely similar just two years ago.

It's introduced as "kind of a quiet song," but once Neil hits those descending notes around 1:40 in, it's anything but. You can feel the energy in every strike of the strings, every note that he wrangles up and lets loose in a vocal style much more like a wail than the whisper on 1968's version. Alone and unencumbered by overdubs, he sings along with parts played previously by instruments, and it feels so honest and raw. Whatever anxious energy this song attempts to diffuse is palpable, and when the audience can't keep quiet about it long enough to listen, his observation on the truth in these lyrics rings out as disappointed and disillusioned but committed to conveying the message anyway. How many times do we have to hear something like this before we stop and reconsider what's going on?

[greenjokwe-blog]

Vylet Pony: Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, 'Creekflow', and its Life as an Afterthought) - Listened 06/02/2023

Back in 2019, I made a bold and very premature claim that fandom music was the way of the future. I don’t know how I feel about that now but I think I still believe in the idea on a fundamental level. From what I see from my interpretations of current trends (again, probably wrong), the all-range demand and universal love for music and art that’s based on “real life experiences” as amazing as it can be I feel can sometimes diminish from artists who are influenced to write genuinely about other unpopular means, the art of character songs, and ironically enough prints artists into this box of spreadable, marketable personas, leading to restrictions along the line and the need to self-fabricate (which, for the record, is totally fine, but you can see the contradiction). I feel like in order to keep with the creation of wonderful art that’s still sincere, it has to go back to the roots of the one thing basically all artists have in common; the love of their influences and the desire to create.

This is a lot of what makes Vylet Pony’s music so interesting and special to me. An artist who addresses these ideas as directly as you possibly could, Vylet has an amazing talent regarding production and musical ideas, and manage to deliver that with such honesty regarding its specific interests, and strong disregard for anyone who wouldn’t give its music the time of day. It ends up leading to music that’s incredibly exciting to listen to, sounding very assessible while still being albums filled with love. I have no real weight in the say of My Little Pony music specifically, stopped watching FiM after the airing of the first episode of season 2 (still don’t know what happened to Discord), but this album manages to be the best of all worlds regarding previous outings, being arguably one of the more generally accessible from a surface analysis, but musically as experimental and personal as ever.

While I really liked fish whisperer, one of the easier complaints that you could make about that album is that it was very much a “Porter Robinson worship” album (fine by me, I loved nurture!) This album, however, takes a much broader influence from a variety of electronic music in general. From artsy indietronica, to drum and bass, to bro-step, to glitchy VGM and its many samples. There are also broader influences from rock music and industrial that make the album sound truly unique as far as my experience of this kind of music goes. Some of these influences and their execution I prefer more than others, but overall generally I think it works great at getting the point across, that the album, as well as Vylet’s music in general, isn’t made to be “confrontational”, but rather take the feelings of the whimsical and the eclectic from its sources and expand on them anew, with its own vision and personality.

And again, this album is definitely the most personal Vylet has released yet. It’s one that I have difficulty writing about as of yet, having not heard it a second time yet and currently still writing this to mainly keep up with my media thread (don’t expect album reviews to be here often bc of this, even if it’s my preferred medium), but I do have a strong feeling that Vylet doesn’t really know what to make of its placement as a long-standing artist. Feelings of losing self-confidence and fleeting moments and dreams seem to fill the album, almost like the baggage of its work has bitten back, no matter how unjustified it may be.

I’ll refrain from writing any more about it in case I find something else on relistens or find out more abt Vylet/Pony lore, but if one thing is the case for me is that I hope Vylet keeps creating music that feels like this. While fish whisperer might be easier for me to digest and go back to, this album is definitely the better and more accomplished of the two. Something that I genuinely hope makes an impact, that has so much talent going into it that I hope that even its harshest cynics sit back and think about it for a bit. If we can finally break this boundary of this kind of music being put into a corner and forgotten about, I feel like the more that music as a whole can grow and change for the better. Although maybe we don’t have to. Maybe it’s already here. I don’t know. But yeah, definitely the first album of 2023 I ended up loving. Excited for what the future may bring, both for Vylet and music in general.

[royalequeenofships]

HSMTMTS Season 3 Predictions and Character Analysis

Ricky & Nini:

Ricky and Nini have a complicated relationship. I feel like they have the whole dynamic of “right person, wrong timing” vibe. They have chemistry and a bond with each other. However, for them to grow as a couple, they really need to have character development first. Nini really needs to figure herself out and who she truly wants to be and figure out her dreams and how she wants to pursue them. We had the whole YAC arc in season 2, where she goes there because she thought it was something that she wanted, but she realized that YAC was not truly what she wanted and isn’t what makes her happy. So, she’s slowly trying to figure herself out with independence and not relying on anyone except herself. In Season 1, most of her moments were with Ricky, with only the YAC arc really showcasing her independence, but her reliance on others in season 1 and parts of season 2. For example, Kourtney was the one who submitted her application to YAC, and partially her reasons for coming back to East High were also her relationship with her friends and Miss Jenn. Also, the fact that Carlos posted her song online, and she asked Ashlyn for help to write “Ain’t see nothing.” However, in episode 11 and 12, really starts showcasing her independence and stop relying on others for her journey. She BECOMES the one other people rely on, she hypes everyone up for their performances and is really figuring herself out and blossoming like the Rose. It is a great metaphor for Nini’s journey, and the fact that she herself calls Jamie’s brother instead of other people doing it for her, really makes it more special. Gina could’ve easily called her brother and be like “Oh yeah I have this friend who’s a great songwriter, yadda yadda.” But she does it herself, which is really great. Now with Ricky. Many people would agree with the fact that he truly does need therapy. He needs to learn how to handle change, and dare I say, realizing that other people are more important in his life. Personally, I felt like Ricky was very selfish this season. Last season, he was being selfish as he broke up with Nini because he couldn’t say I love you, and once school started again, he wanted Nini back so badly, but he proved himself worthy at the final episode when he stops being Troy to give Nini a chance to perform for YAC. However, this season once he and Nini are back together again, he was being selfish and thinking of himself again. When Nini goes to YAC, all he could really think about was how HER leaving was affecting him and his relationship with her.

For example, he would ask Gina for help on HIS own relationship, and sending Nini the message of how much he missed her and wishes she would be there because HE misses her so much. And thinking that Nini came home for him and him only. Plus, he thinks that the rose song that she wrote was SPECIFICALLY related to him, and then the whole situation with Miss Jenn and his dad, in which he was only thinking about himself and his feelings, with no regards to theirs. However, in episode 10, he finally stops being selfish and really opened his eyes to his surroundings, as he helped Carlos with his song for Seb. I hope this development continues, and once he realizes that he needs to stop being selfish, and is able to handle change and mature as a person, then maybe the Rini ship can happen once again. Another thing I’ve noticed about their “angst” in season 2 was the long-distance relationship, especially in episode 3. Although, Ricky and Nini were in the same city, throughout the episode, it still felt like they were going long-distance, which was probably foreshadowing their breakup. They only communicated through their phones that episode, and even at the end, their songs for each other wasn’t sang in person, but through the phone. As for predictions on the Rini relationship, I think that if Tim only plans on 3 seasons, then Rini will probably get back together at the end of Season 3, but if he has 4 seasons planned (which I am hoping for), then Rini will probably get back together then. Now we also have to take into consideration the career of Olivia Rodrigo. We do not know if she wants to continue with HSM, and even she herself is not sure. What I think will happen is, if Olivia decides she wants to take her music career to the next level, I think a really easy way to write her out without breaking the contract, would be to have her travel to L.A. to work on her music for the summer, so that there will be reason as to why she is absent for most of the season. This will probably take 1 episode to do and Olivia can spend the rest of her time focusing on her music. However, if Olivia decides she still wants to work full time in this season, then she might stay in Salt Lake and do the musical and write some songs for Jamie, etc but personally I think Olivia would want to focus on her music more than the show, as she posts about it more on social media than the show, and even with interviews. Nini might return for the final episode when summer ends and the new school year starts, so Olivia might just be in like 2 episodes. That’s my take on Rini for now, we get back to Ricky later.

E.J. & Gina:

Portwell is literally my favourite ship of the series, and it is just amazing. I personally would not like to see any angst in their relationship next season, but honestly it is probably going to happen and here’s why. Their relationship was built really steadily and took a long time to flourish. With other couples, like Seblos, Redlyn and Kowie, they got together awfully fast, taking 2-3 episodes to truly get together. So, the angst that those couples go through gets resolved rather quickly. Seblos with their relationship gets solved within 1-2 episodes, for the whole “does he like me because im the only gay one” storyline. Redlyn has the whole “Antoine” situation (which I will get back to later) and the “Red’s future” which again, took 1 episode to resolve. And Kourtney and Howie took 1-2 episodes to resolve the whole “Howie is from North high” and “Why Howie seems weird”. The reason is because those couples got together really quickly, and therefore their angst can be easily resolved through that, and wouldn’t really take time to fix. As you can see, Rini took a while to really get together. They were childhood friends off screen and we get to see their past relationship through flashbacks in season 1, but technically they took around 10 episodes to fully get back together. They have their cute., fluffy episodes for the first 4-5 episodes of season 2, but then their angst slowly starts to build at episode 5-6. It drags on until episode 8 where they fully break up, and counting episode 9 with their take on how they’re handling the breakup, so that’s around 5 episodes worth of angst for the couple that took 10 episodes to get together. So, with Portwell, they’ve technically been building them up at the end of season 1, but we’ll truly count the buildup starting from the Quincenero episode, which is episode 5, and they had 7 episodes worth of relationship buildup. So, I think, for the first 4 episodes, we’ll see some fluff and cute moments between the two when summer starts (and hopefully some kisses cuz like please I need to see at least one), but the angst will probably start in the middle of the season. It might take like around 4-5 episodes to fix, but I truly believe that they will not break up, and it will get resolved either near the final episode or the final episode of the season. Now for the REASON of their angst. I truly think the only “angst” worthy storyline is about EJ going off the college. As I can’t think of anything else that can topple their relationship. Firstly, EJ knows about the chocolates, which makes me think that he probably knows about Gina’s past crush on Ricky. Secondly, they resolved the whole “Big Brother” situation, and EJ knows that Gina doesn’t see her in that way. And the character development of E.J. and Gina. Back in season 1, they were arrogant and straight up ambitious people, who really don’t care about how others feel, but they truly changed as people in season 1 and 2, and had their character development moments. The contrast with them and Rini is that Season 1 focused on rini’s relationship development and season 2 and maybe 3 will really focused on their CHARACTER development. For Portwell, I think that would be flipped as they already had their Character development in season 1 and 2, so we probably will see their RELATIONSHIP development in season 3. So, since they already had their character development, I think it would be pointless to have unnecessary drama about their personalities or jealousy or whatnot, since they truly developed as people. So, the only thing I can possibly think of for their angst is EJ college arc. I know that they will probably fix it, but still I’m dreading to see it as I don’t want Portwell angst anymore. ☹ (ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME A PORTWELL DUET!! I NEED IT! Also, an EJ solo)

Ricky & Gina:

Personally, I do not ship Rina. I don’t think they would make a good couple; however, I think they would be really good friends. Someone they could confide in about their issues like Gina said “Sometimes I tell you things I don’t tell anyone else” and Ricky being like “I think we do that for each other.” We didn’t really get to see Ricky and Gina resolve their issues in season 2, partly because of Ricky’s character development. I am hoping to see in season 3, Ricky working on himself and fixing up his friendship with Gina. I think something that might happen is when Gina is going through her angst with EJ, and Ricky going through his own angst with Lily, they might be able to give each other advice and on how to handle it. However, PLEASE for the love of God, do not drag the whole love triangle back, because we do not need it. Gina has truly gotten over Ricky, and Ricky never seeing Gina as someone for his romantic relationship anyways, and he really needs to work on himself more, they should not be together as a couple. However, I do hope that they amend their friendship and is able to confide in each other once more, which I think will be cool and really help with Ricky’s character development.

Ricky & Lily:

Now this one. We know they will not be endgame, and I am 90% sure of the fact that Lily does not have romantic feelings for Ricky. Sure, she might find him attractive (and I mean who can blame her, Joshua Bassett is gorgeous), but she definitely does not like him in that way. We can see it when she “confesses” to him, she said to him “I like your brown hair and brown eyes” which are all physical descriptions of him, nothing about his personality which makes sense because she barely knows him, so how could she develop feelings for someone she doesn’t know. She has also stolen the harness, so we know that there would be no way that she likes him, and at the end of season 2, we don’t even get to see her feeling guilty about doing it, because she likes him. So that definitely setting in stone on how she’s only using him and manipulating him. Now for Ricky, yes you might be thinking “oh he’s calling her, why?” But Ricky does not know what we know. He was not there when Lily was talking to Gina about their roles as Belle, he was not there when Lily was laughing at Big Red, he was not there when she had a conversation with Miss Jenn, and he was not there when she planned with Antoine and when she stole the harness. In Ricky’s eyes, the reason that she was so mean to them is because of the Menkies, and their schools were enemies and rivals for it. He doesn’t know about Lily’s evil and ambitious side, and he believes that the Menkies might have made her that way. For example, he knows that the Menkies has turned Miss Jenn into someone different and a little bit mean, so he assumed the same for Lily, and when she asked for a second chance, Ricky gave it to her as he didn’t know. I feel like for the first couple of episodes, it will show Lily and Ricky “bonding” or getting to know each other, but Lily lying about the whole situation and really planning something behind his back, but we don’t know what yet. Maybe Ricky will be like “Huh, she’s a cool person, I’m starting to like her.” But then figuring out her plan, and finding out that she stole the harness. He then will be very upset and kind of heartbroken as he gave her a chance and she was only manipulating him the whole time. Maybe then, his character development will continue to grow and he will realize that he does not need to be in a relationship right now, and that he needs to work on himself and mature as a person. And I think him and Lily’s “relationship” will be a strong pushing point that he needs.

Seb & Carlos:

Now Seblos is one of my favourite ships in the show, and I love them to bits and pieces. However, as regarding their relationship, I feel like they have already resolved all their angst in season 2, it will be hard to make up angst for them in season 3, if they ever have one. I would like to say this though, I knew there was going to be angst for them in season 2, but the way they built it up, I thought the angst would be about how Carlos’ family is really rich, and Seb can’t compare because he lives on a farm, and it might make him self-conscious. Cause that’s where it seemed to be leading in the first few episodes of Season 2 (the sled, cashmere etc.). However, they brought a completely different angst to them which I thought was pretty surprising. Personally, I think they should’ve done the “class/money” difference in season 2, and then maybe the whole “why are you with me” angst for season 3, but maybe they MIGHT switch it around for season 3, and have the whole “class/money” difference then. Although, that’s probably the only “issue” I see for them ever, cause they’re a power couple and like what other angst could there be? Maybe they’ll introduce a new love interest but I highly doubt it because they already resolved the “I choose you always” in season 2. So, hoping there’s no Seblos angst, but if they do decide to throw in one, that might be the one they’ll do.

Big Red & Ashlyn:

Again, Redlyn is one of my favourite ships and they’re just so amazing. However, their storyline is hopefully again, all fluff for season 3, but one thing I realised that they didn’t really resolve in season 2 was the whole “Antoine” storyline. After episode 7, they never really talked about it again and introduced the new angst next episode with the whole “Career” thing. I feel like Antoine will be a more recurring character in season 3, as he only got like what? 10 minutes worth of screentime this season? (Maybe even less) and especially at the end as he joined Natalie in the final scene. So maybe there will be more of him in the next season, and slowly moving in on Ashlyn and making Big Red feeling like he’s not good enough, and then maybe Redlyn will FINALLY get their “I love you” confession then, because WE NEED IT! I’m manifesting for Redlyn “I love you” next season, and I think the whole situation with Antoine would be a nice way for Ashlyn to TRULY confirm to Big Red how much she loves him and how grateful she is for him, and vice versa. (Also manifesting for more EJ and Big Red friendship moments, like maybe Big Red goes for EJ for advice for his relationship with Ashlyn, and maybe EJ confiding in Big Red for Gina as well)

Kourtney & Howie:

As for Kourtney and Howie, they’re probably still going to work at the pizza shop together and continue to bond. A plot point that I think will be very interesting is maybe Kourtney trying to convince Howie to move to East High, but Howie kind of not wanting to, because he spent like 3 years there and it’s kind of his home. That might be a nice storyline to do, or it can be the opposite, where Howie is trying to transfer to North High, but Kourtney being worried like “Is he going to North High for me? I don’t want that, what if he hates it here”, but Howie confirming that he’s going to North High because the environment for him is better there and less competitive and toxic than North High. That might be a storyline that can happen for these two. I would also like for them to have a duet as well; I think Dara’s strong voice goes well with Roman’s soft voice and it would mesh well together.

Miss Jenn & Mr. Mazarra:

Now this one is a toughie, but I have some theories. Now we know that Ricky has given Miss Jenn permission to date his dad, which is another great character development for him, as he’s handling change and seeing other people’s happiness. However, as soon as he gave her permission, Mr. Mazarra confesses his feelings for Miss Jenn, which seemingly makes her happy, as we did get to see a little smile on her face when he did. Throughout Season 2, Benjamin was really the one comforting her, and giving her courage for the Menkies. We see it through episode 8, when he helped Miss Jenn film the commercial and how he put so much effort into making her coffee and setting up a table, just so she could relax. Same goes for episode 10, when she confides in him, and he acting like a therapist to her and accepting her anxious feelings, and helping her feel calmer and better. They are both opening up to each other. And I believe Miss Jenn truly appreciates him as a colleague and a friend. Now another moment is when Ricky’s dad comes to the show with flowers, and she was talking with Mr. Mazarra at the moment. When he called out her name, she smiles awkwardly and immediate turns to Mr. Mazarra saying something along the lines up “Why we always running into him?” and very awkwardly makes his way to him and you could tell she was slightly uncomfortable, with her awkward smiles and everything. This really contrasts from episode 3, where she herself walks up to Ricky’s dad and starts up a conversation, and how now, it is the other way around. Now, the whole problem of Mr. Mazarra leaving for Caltech. He confesses his romantic feelings to Miss Jenn, and really emphasizes on how she’s the only one who is stopping him from running off the California, which I believe that she is a big part of why, but also not fully. We really get to see Mr. Mazarra bonding with a lot of the students this season as well, E.J., Ricky, etc. I feel like he truly cares for his students, and in season 3, maybe he is thinking about if he really wants to stay in Utah for his students and of course, his budding relationship with Miss Jenn. Now, there was a scene in episode 4, where he was confiding to EJ about his rejection from Caltech. And he admits to EJ how he doesn’t think about Caltech very much anymore. He’s made his peace with it. This kind of mirrors EJ’s situation about Duke. EJ didn’t get into Duke from his own accord, but rather his dad got him in. Same can be said for Mr. Mazarra, EJ’s dad made the call for him for Caltech, and he didn’t really get in from his own as well, as he said previously, He was rejected many, many times. So maybe next season will really show him and his decision of staying at East High back in the fall, or leaving for Caltech. Now moving back to Miss Jenn. Next season, I feel like will focus on her and the students more, as this season, she was a really crappy teacher, and kept pushing them due to stress and wanting them to beat her ex at the Menkies. This season, I believe that she will return to the teacher that she was in season 1, and really focusing and hyping up the kids’ talents. I would love to see that Miss Jenn come back, and really help her students. Of course, the whole love triangle debacle will probably be fixed, I can maybe see Miss Jenn going out on a date with Ricky’s dad but thinking of Mr. Mazarra the whole time, and Ricky’s dad is a good man, so he might notice something is different about her, and tells her to go for it, her relationship with Mr. Mazarra before he moves or something. Also, since in season 2, we got to see Mr. Mazarra comfort Miss Jenn a lot, maybe this season will have Miss Jenn comforting Mr. Mazarra about Caltech, and if he truly wants to leave his students. Another thing I’d like to maybe see is Mr. Mazarra singing a song for Miss Jenn. We know that Mark St. Cyr has a good voice, as we saw from the Christmas special. So, him singing to Miss Jenn even though he doesn’t like musicals that much and all that, would show a lot of character development from Season 1.

Overall Plot:

Now, I have a few theories about summer. I’ve seen a lot of people saying they will go to a camp like “Camp Rock” which I think will be very likely to happen, and they put up a musical. What I can also see happening, is like High School Musical 2, where they go to a resort for work, and then putting up a musical there for the audience as well. Or they could just stay in Utah, and just relax for the summer, and not have any musical but just a lot of original songs about their summer in general and the stuff they’re going through. If they do a musical, I don’t think that they’ll do a musical from a movie or theatre, but rather write their own musical. I think it would be a really interesting concept, it can show us more imaginative and creative concept for a musical and have more original songs for the season. I would truly love to see that.

So that’s all for the character analysis and predictions I have for Season 3, sorry if it’s long lol

[somesaycosmo]

laurence, the first vicar - an analysis

hi! this is future marie, when i'm going back through and finalizing my draft of this post. this was originally meant to just be an analysis of laurence's song, but it turned into more than that, so just bear with it!

"oh look it's my favorite boss soundtrack in soulsborne! thankfully, bloodborne is a very simple game with straightforward lore, and the lyrics of its tracks are similarly straightforward, so there's not much to analyze here." -a quote from an alternate universe marie who was blessed with a game that didn't give her frenzy

"bloodborne's tracks have lyrics?" you might ask - and yes, in fact, they do! many of them have choral lyrics in latin, including mr laurence "i forgot the sacred adage" lastname's track here.

before we start, please listen to the song, if only because it's very good

this post is using the translated lyrics from this bloodborne wiki, while taking some liberties with the interpretation based on the game's lore. i do not know latin, but if anyone does, i'd love for them to hit me up. i'm also going to specifically tag @rococospade-main, both to shout them out for being great to discuss bloodborne lore with (it's where i got the idea to write this post)

as always, lore starts below the line

so the song starts with 4 lines, as follows

Children, know that if you will abide by the sacred rite with great commitment There will be a reward through the Holy Blood You will be rewarded with the hidden Holy Blood Or, maybe I shall lose my humanity through the Holy Blood

already starting off strong with the "questioning one's faith" vibes, eh, larry?

"children" might be in reference to actual children, or it might be the thing priests do, where they're called "father" and stuff (can you tell i'm not christian?) with laurence in this case being the "father" and the disciples of the church being his "children"

the reward from the holy blood is, of course, ascension, which we all know everyone from byrgenwerth strived for, because they're losers. "hidden holy blood" might be in reference to ebrietas bein all locked up in the chalice dungeons?

"maybe i shall lose my humanity through the holy blood" is, based on how early it is in the song, likely about laurence looking forward; loss of humanity is seen as a good thing, because it means ascension. the dramatic irony of this is of course obvious, considering the song plays when we're beating the shit out of laurence's fallen and bestial form - because loss of humanity can also mean other things, it turns out.

We honor you with the Blood Yet you judge this as blasphemy You are obsessed with this mystery And you shall be overcome by bestiality

We honor you with the Blood Yet you judge this as blasphemy We are hindered by this mystery Water does not achieve success

now laurence is speaking to the gods instead of to his followers. "we honor you with blood / yet you judge this as blasphemy" is likely him pleading to the gods. the description of the defiled chalice reads, "Curses are caused by inciting the anger of the Great Ones, and used to hex others." this paints a picture of the gods as somewhat vengeful; it makes sense that the beastly scourge, then, would be hypothesized to be a plague cast upon humanity for some sin they've committed, and laurence would know best what exactly that sin is.

"you are obsessed with this mystery / and you shall be overcome by bestiality" seems out of place in the rest of this section, given it's the only one that refers to humanity as "you," but i've taken this as it being the gods replying to laurence in the song, with the mystery likely being "how to ascend to godhood". this is the blasphemy you have committed, they say, and you shall be overcome by bestiality

"we are hindered by this mystery" once again, we're talking from laurence's perspective. firstly, laurence for the first time admits that obsession with ascension might not be so great, actually.

"water does not achieve success" this could be interpreted as talking about the whole "great bodies of water are often bulwarks" thing discussed in the lake and sea runes, laurence sort of saying "protecting ourselves from the truth does nothing to help us ascend," with water, effectively, being "safety." to go further, in my personal interpretation, this is more about the comparison of blood and water. you know that old saying, "blood is thicker than water"? that came to mind immediately while reading these lyrics, given the constant talking about blood in the song (and in the game). perhaps here laurence is comparing water to blood with water, water being "safety" and blood being "success" (ascension). to reference the item description for the white church set, "They believe that medicine is not a means of treatment but rather a method for research, and that some knowledge can only be obtained by exposing oneself to sickness." this will come up later.

By the Gods, friend Be afraid By the Gods, friend The Blood Be afraid You are right to

this is familiar! this could be willem speaking, this could be laurence speaking to someone else, or this could be laurence speaking to himself (my writer's brain imagines him muttering this quietly to himself in despair as his mental health and questioning of his faith declines) - due to "you are right to [fear the blood]," i lean towards him talking to himself as if talking to willem, perhaps wishing he had actually feared the old blood, or saying that willem is better off for doing so. regardless, it is incredibly reminiscent of the sacred adage ("fear the old blood" etc etc we all know it by heart at this point), and is likely supposed to be that.

It will be a majestic festivity By the Holy Blood So come, this sweet wine O defiled juice (this has to mean "wine" or "drink" i refuse to believe laurence would refer to the holy blood as a juice. i will not allow it)

this one, oddly, seems to indicate a toneshift - i would argue it's a result of his spiraling mental state. throughout the song he's questioning his faith and his actions, chanting his old mentor's sacred adage to himself; his life up to this point is a life of success while the cure and path to ascension he was peddling to yharnam turns them into horrific beasts. so he ends up doubling down on the religious fervor he started this endeavor with. this delves more into headcanon territory, so bear with me for a second:

have you ever thought about why laurence drops the beast's embrace rune?

laurence, the first vicar, the first cleric beast, drops the rune that allows you to enter a state of controlled beasthood whenever you want (provided you use a beastly weapon, of course). isn't that odd? shouldn't he drop something that, like, increases the amount blood vials heal you? maybe super duper extra special communion +6? why would he drop that rune, of all things, especially when the game already has a named character they could've put in to drop it (that being irreverent izzy)?

let's look at the item description.

After the repeated experiments in controlling the scourge of beasts, the gentle "Embrace" rune was discovered.

When its implementation failed, the "Embrace" became a forbidden rune, but this knowledge became a foundation of the Healing Church.

now i am not necessarily going to suggest that laurence dreamed up the beast's embrace rune himself - it could make sense, but that isn't necessary for the rest of what i'm about to say, which is this: the last part of the song is laurence giving into beasthood voluntarily.

perhaps he believed so strongly in the blood of ebrietas taking him to ascension that he decided beasthood must be it, must be the next step for humanity; perhaps, in a final move of desperation, he tried to control beasthood by experimenting on himself with this rune; or perhaps he had already imbibed so much of the old blood that he couldn't control his need to spill the blood of others.

personally, i lean toward the second interpretation. let's look at the description of laurence's (human) skull:

Skull of Laurence, first vicar of the Healing Church. In reality he became the first cleric beast, and his human skull only exists within the Nightmare.

The skull is a symbol of Laurence's past, and what he failed to protect. He is destined to seek his skull, but even if he found it, it could never restore his memories.

firstly, i'd just like to point out the irony in the statement "he is destined to seek his skull"; he spends his human life seeking ascension, and when he achieves metamorphosis, he is cursed to spend that form trying to find his humanity again, mindless, lost in a nightmare.

secondly, and more to the point, let's look at the line "a symbol of laurence's past, and what he failed to protect." examining this item for its symbolism is fairly clear - it's a relic of laurence's humanity, and that's exactly what he failed to protect, the humanity of himself and others. this description leads me to believe he wanted to protect humanity, but failed.

a lot of interpretations of him have him as this truly evil person who was just deceiving the city of yharnam for his own personal gain, but honestly, i don't buy that. that's not what bloodborne is about. i mean bloodborne is and can be about a lot of things, and i could ascribe dozens of basic thematic interpretations of it off the top of my head, but characterization that simple doesn't fit bloodborne (and, frankly, it's not tragic enough for miyazaki).

so, with all that combined, why do i believe that laurence branded himself with beast's embrace in an attempt to further research on the control of beasthood, so as to protect humanity? well, to go back to an item description from earlier, some knowledge can only be obtained by exposing oneself to sickness.

thank you for reading.

[murdereraisuha]

Final Chapter 5 Reflection

This will have my personal opinion/thoughts on:

The VDC outcome, Rook’s actions, and what could’ve made it better

The Rook reveal and Neige

Kalim, Jamil, and Epel’s development

The Grim scene

Total word count: 2134 words

--- 1 ---

So, RSA won the VDC. My feelings on this are mixed.

Looking at it in relation to the whole plot of TWST, it makes sense. It moves the chance for NRC to finally beat RSA to the upcoming magift tournament, which gives NRC’s potential victory a large amount of excitement/importance which it wouldn’t get from this middle of the year championship.

Furthermore, Rook’s actions do make sense based on his personality. If Vil really didn’t believe that he himself was beautiful, Rook of course would vote for the team that exhibited pure joy in their performance and therefore exhibited a heartfelt beauty. It would be a lie to vote for NRC, and it would disgrace both Rook and Vil. Rook’s actions plot wise also lead to the discussion about Vil valuing himself vs seeking value from others, which I think is a crucial thing for Vil to remember. While trying to gain recognition for hard work is good, and Vil certainly does deserve recognition, it’s much more important to maintain a good perception of yourself even when things happen or people wrongfully say things that might tear down your self-esteem

However, I still have issues with how this played out in relation to the plot of chapter 5. It’s unrealistic for all of Vil’s misgivings about himself to get fixed through the power of friendship and beating each other up. But, still, the team went through a lot in order to get to the championship united and ready to perform. It feels like a slap in the face for them to lose after all that. Especially the scene with Kalim and Epel crying while Ya Hoo cheerfully plays in the background, it's so comically dissonant. Though we already got an explanation from Vil about how Neige’s performance appeals to viewers, I was still shocked. At least it was a close competition rather than a crushing defeat. 

Also, while Rook’s message was sound, the timing was rather bad. Vil and the rest of the team just had a massive battle and then went through a whole song & dance performance without major blunders while still injured. Focusing on Vil’s self-esteem there makes it seem like Rook is just brushing all that determination and effort away. Though Vil doesn’t seem to truly hold it against Rook since he offers the handkerchief back to Rook when he cries, the situation still feels off.

In conclusion, I think that the plot events made sense. However, the execution of them could have been improved. As is, it’s hard to understand Rook’s motivations in this part due to the ridiculousness of RSA’s kid’s song winning. To fix that without just completely overhauling the plot, I believe that the admirable qualities of Neige and the dwarves should have been shown more clearly. For example, while the Pomefiore CM shows a glimpse of their bond, that’s nonexistent in the game. I think that incorporating that into the game (ex. a short scene of Neige reassuring the dwarves that their performance will go well before they step on stage) would help people understand Rook’s point of view better by showing instead of just telling us about the belief Neige has in his friends.. 

Moreover, alongside better reasons for why Rook choose RSA, I think it should be clearer why he did not choose NRC. It seems an attempt at warning of the “betrayal” was done with Vil menacingly saying he’ll win the VDC during the voting, followed by the shot of Rook just going “........”.  To make this less sudden, I think I would change episode 66. Though that episode has Vil saying that he’s ugly, because the team contradicts him and keeps him as the leader it makes it seem like the problem is solved there. Therefore, to better lead to Rook’s speech, I would change episode 66 to have Vil show more hesitation and signs that he still doesn’t believe in himself. 

--- 2 ---

Anyway, on to the reveal about Rook. I wasn’t sure what to think about the name slip up during the previous part, but I just guessed that maybe they’d met before and that meeting is related to RSA and Rook having light magic. Nope, we get Neige simp Rook. I think this reveal was really surprising, but more in a funny way than a “ruins Rook’s character” way. It’s nice to see Rook seriously caught off guard by Neige just nonchalantly exposing him in front of everyone, and everyone’s reactions were extremely funny.

I think that the chapter did a decent job of making it clear that Rook’s relationship with Neige as a fan of him is vastly different from Rook’s calm admiration of and friendship with Vil. I’m kind of curious now about how and when Rook became a fan though. Him being the 2nd member of the fan club implies that Rook found Neige when Neige still hadn’t gotten much fame yet. 

I loved everyone’s Ya Hoo too. Ace and Jamil having level 0 enthusiam, Kalim and Rook having level 1000 enthusiasm, Deuce being startled but slowly getting into it but still being kind of eh, Epel just keeping that wide-eyed confused expression the whole time. ボーテ、１００点. For Vil, I understand that he was probably faking his big smile for the benefit of the audience. However, I still hope his opinion of Neige has improved somewhat or will improve. Neige telling Vil that he’s still number one in the eyes of the people who voted for him was really sweet and their interactions with each other are pretty cute/funny when Vil isn’t trying to murder him.

Unlike other minor characters like Chenya and Farena who either weren’t involved in the plot or were only involved as backstory, Neige is Vil’s present rival and motivation for doing the stuff he does and over blotting. With such a large presence that continued all throughout the chapter and the Rook reveal, it would seem strange for Neige to suddenly drop out of existence come chapter 6.

Therefore, assuming that the Grim situation doesn’t derail the current patterns we’ve seen in the story, I think that Neige will be included as part of the Pomefiore involvement in chapter 6. Of course, it could be something small like getting called in for a favor near the end or just mentions of Rook continuing to write him fan letters. However, I’m hoping it’s something larger. From my analysis of the previous part:

Vil’s team’s performance had a lot of cohesion and rehearsal put into it, but it was very competitive focused. On the other hand, Neige and the dwarves obviously had a lot of fun with their performance. However, it was clumsy and they were ill prepared. Therefore, Vil could teach Neige more discipline and planning while Neige could teach Vil about how to not lose sight of finding joy in your work. 

Now that we have confirmation that Neige is a genuinely nice guy, I really want Vil & Neige friendship to happen, or for them to at least be on good terms with each other. It might just be my personal love for relationships where one person tries to be all rival-y but then the other is like “nope, I’m going to friend you whether you like it or not,” but I think this sort of development in the story of TWST would be really enjoyable to watch.

--- 3 ---

For the performance of Absolutely Beautiful, I love that Jamil got to be in the center for a bit. However, that also just makes me more disappointed that we didn’t get more Scarabia or anything about how their families are watching this. With the stuff in 5-30 and 5-34 focusing on Kalim’s perspective on things and his relationship with Jamil, I thought that at some point we would get a final scene focusing on them and how they’ve developed since chapter 4. What we got with  Jamil swooping in to the rescue with the magic carpet then talking about how he could sense that Kalim was about to do something stupid was better than nothing, but idk. I just love the writing and complexity these two have gotten and I wanted that to continue to the end. I still have hope though! If we can get a thing about Leona noticing the traces of magic in the arena, then we can get future appearances from the Scarabia boys too!... please...

Now, for Epel, I also have mixed feelings about his development throughout the chapter. I absolutely loved the beach scene with Deuce and Epel, it was so cute and I liked Epel realizing the power of beauty because of the apple juice Magicam post. However, I think the narrative missed something important. Though Epel’s views had a lot of improvement to be made, Vil’s treatment of him was also terrible and should have been addressed. I believe Vil saying that “throwing a tantrum and taking it out on others was terrible of him” in episode 66 implies that he’s realized that all his actions, not just the overblot, were wrong. However, it’s not clear enough that that was the intention. Vil does not apologize specifically for how he attempted to force Epel to conform to his own beliefs. Though there’s always chapter 6, it still doesn’t seem like the story will ever really address this issue, which is a shame to say the least.

Furthermore, in this final part, Epel offering to take the center position was really good and showed how much he’s grown since the beginning of the chapter. However, it still didn’t bring the whole “poison apple” thing to fruition. Absolutely no one made any comment on his cuteness or how it might rival Neige’s cuteness. Did they plan something with that but scraped it? Like, this is way too little pay off for such a focus on Vil shaping Epel into a way to best Neige. My disappointment with this ending might have to do with these past 3 main story updates being the only ones I’ve been in this fandom for, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatever the cause of my disappointment may be, my disappointment still does exist.

--- 4 ---

To top off this roller coaster of a chapter and end this reflection with a more neutral analysis, we have the stuff with Mickey and Grim. Mickey seems really nice, I’m glad that Yuu seems to have made an ally in him. We certainly need one after whatever the hell just happened with Grim. I really have to give props for how unsettling both Grim’s appearance and the sounds during that scene were.

Though we’re obviously getting close to the endgame, the Ignihyde sneak peak that we got seems pretty normal and related to their personal problems rather than the plot. Though it would be interesting for a big change to happen like Yuu being out of commission for the chapter, I think it’s more likely that Yuu will be rescued, Grim just goes missing, then we don’t get much more info on that whole thing until the end of chapter 6 leading into chapter 7.

Anyway, for the scene itself I understand if it just because silent protagonist, don’t want to make them talk/do too much, but it feels kind of weird that there wasn’t really any indication of a struggle? Just standing there, staring at Grim, getting clawed, then black out. Nothing to indicate trying to step back. There was some weird clopping??? sound after he attacked but since the camera didn’t move that wasn’t Yuu collapsing.

Also, it might just be supposed to be “Grim’s laugh but creepy,” but his ケヒッ、 ケヒヒッ laughter sounds unusually distinctive? Idk, I just had the thought that it could be in reference to some other disney character with a similar laugh but idk who that would be since I’m not big into disney movies.

Right before he attacks, Grim also shouts “this is my stone!!!” Firstly, assuming that this stone is the same small size as the others, shouldn’t he already be done eating it? Yuu’s not exactly gonna stick their hand down his throat to retrieve it. So what stone is he talking about?

Well, we know that the magic crystal on the magic pens is supposed to collect blot so that it doesn’t built up inside someone, right? Blot accumulated from outright eating it instead of blot accumulated from casting magic is probably different, but what if some of the blot from the black stones did get gathered up by Grim’s crystal on his collar? We know how crazed he has been getting about the black stones. Is it so much of a stretch to think that he might be trying for more? That he might be trying to create instead of just find? 

How would a black magic crystal taste?

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Vanya and the Phantom

I asked and y’all answered (special thanks to @schizoidwire and @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace  and all the people who responded to my earlier post for encouraging me!), so it is time for how The Phantom of the Opera song introduction can be read as a look into Vanya’s self-narrative and also foreshadows future events in a really subtle and interesting way. 

I’m channeling my inner Elliot and going into full conspiracy mode. This is gonna be a long one, y’all. 

Part One: In Which I Expose Myself as a Former Theater Kid

So, for those who aren’t familiar with The Phantom of the Opera, it was originally a novel by French writer Gaston Leroux back in 1909. In 1986, Andrew Lloyd Webber rewrote it as a musical. For purposes of my analysis here, I am just going to be discussing the musical because 1) the score used in the opening scene is from it and 2) I’ve never read the book. (If anyone out there has read the book and wants to weigh in, please do!) 

It’s a very aesthetic show, and draws on a lot of gothic themes and imagery. The plot follows an opera house, and specifically a young chorus girl named Christine Daaé. I’m not going to explain the whole show plot in detail because wikipedia exists, but I will do a quick overview here and point out some things as they relate to things I’ll be discussing later. Also there will be a test after and it will NOT be multiple choice.

The show begins when the opera house is sold to new owners who 1) just want to make money and 2) do not respect the opera house’s resident ghost (who isn’t really a ghost, but we’ll get to that later.) When the Phantom makes his presence known, and freaks out the resident prima donna singer (who will be relevant later) Carlotta, who says she won’t sing under these conditions. It is then that Christine appears. She’s quiet and humble and has always lived in the background, but is incredibly talented. The woman who runs the chorus (also owner of the opera house’s resident braincell) suggests Christine sing the part. She does, and is amazing. Everyone is blown away, and she’s catapulted into instant fame and success. 

We later learn that Christine has been studying under the Phantom, who appears to her in mirrors. She calls him the Angel of Music, and thinks that he was sent to teach her by her recently deceased father. He isn’t. He’s actually pretty malicious, and is obsessed with Christine, wants to control her voice, and doesn’t like her dating anyone. Which is a bit awkward when her childhood friend shows up and promptly falls in love with her. 

Anyways, Carlotta is jealous of the attention Christine has been getting and threatens to leave prompting the new owners to cut Christine from the program. The Phantom doesn’t like it at all, sends a bunch of letters, things escalate, people are murdered, and the whole first act ends with the chandelier falling from the ceiling and crashing onto the stage (which is done with really cool effects, oftentimes beginning the show hanging over the audience. It’s a BIG MOMENT and one of the most iconic ones from the show. This will also be relevant later.)

Act two takes place a few months later, wherein no one has seen the Phantom. Shock of all shocks, though, he’s not dead. He’s been writing an opera and he wants Christine to star in it. More stuff happens, you learn the backstory of the Phantom (which is pretty sad, ngl, but in no way makes him less of a creep) and the story ends with the Phantom kidnapping Christine and giving her an ultimatum: stay with him forever, or he kills Raoul (aka childhood friend/romantic interest guy). She agrees to stay with him and he’s so moved by her compassion that he lets them both go and disappears forever. 

Part Two: Casting the Characters

That’s interesting, Rosie (note sarcasm) but you said this was about The Umbrella Academy? I did, in fact. So, we meet Vanya when she’s playing a medley of songs from The Phantom of the Opera. Since it’s primarily the melodies and not one of the orchestral pieces from her performance later (I don’t think), we can assume she’s just playing it for herself (which is nice! good on you, Vanya). 

Maybe she’s never seen the play and just likes the score, but for purposes here, let’s assume she’s familiar with it. 

You can tell a lot about a person by the stories they connect with (for example, I like TUA because I like fun sibling dynamics, found family, music, and being sad). And I think that it makes sense that The Phantom of the Opera would be a story that resonates with Vanya. The overlooked chorus girl finds power in music, and, after years in the background, is finally given a chance to show how special she is. 

So, yeah. I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that Vanya sees herself as Christine. There are some discrepancies, sure, but this is Vanya’s self-narrative, which we learn pretty much immediately is unreliable. (Love her, but it’s true.) And if Vanya is Christine, then we can try and tap into her perspective to look at some other characters. 

Anyways remember Carlotta (the prima donna opera singer who always got the spotlight and tried to destroy everything good that happened to Christine because she felt threatened that someone might be as good/better than her whose entire personality and role in the story I just summarized, rendering my plot recap useless)? Carlotta is how Vanya views Allison. (Kind of all her siblings, but her relationship with Allison is the most important here.)

Think about the scene in the cabin? 

“You couldn’t risk me threatening your place in the house! You couldn’t handle the fact that Dad might find me special!” - Vanya, having a mental breakdown.

This always struck me as an interesting accusation to throw, since prior to this moment, I don’t think there was any indication that Allison had ever felt threatened by Vanya. She excluded her, sure, and wasn’t super friendly at times, but the idea that Allison has been pulling strings to keep Vanya out of her spotlight is new. But that is exactly the role Carlotta plays in Phantom. 

Fun fact! At one point in the musical, the Phantom enchants Carlotta so that she loses her voice right before coming on stage. 

Part Three: The Phantom of the Opera is there

So based on everything I’ve said so far, the most straightforward reading is then, that Leonard Peabody/Harold Jenkins (who for purposes here I’ll call Leonard) is the stand in for the Phantom, which works... really well. Both in helping to understand Vanya and also because it foreshadows the twist of season one in a really cool way.

So, the Phantom appears to Christine first not as an enemy, but as a friend and teacher, who encourages her to be more confident in her abilities. He trains her to develop her singing ability. While the teacher-student dynamic is actually inverted initially with Vanya and Leonard, from the get go, he is showering her with compliments, encouraging her to be confident in her abilities, and, at least on the surface, supporting her in a way she hasn’t been supported before (he’s a trash human but an expert manipulator). 

But, in the play, the Phantom is also very possessive over Christine and her power (er, I mean voice). He also is perfectly willing to kill and/or hurt people who he views as standing in the way of Christine and her success (see the aforementioned Carlotta incident). Which is exactly what Leonard does to Vanya. He kills the first chair violinist to help her get it, and orchestrates a whole master plan to get her to reveal her powers on his terms. 

Even the part where he starts “training” her to use her powers kind of resembles the second act of the play. The Phantom wrote a play for Christine and she’s going to star in it, whether she wants to or not. 

(One could even make the argument of the parallels between Christine believing the Phantom was sent by her father to teach her and Leonard showing up because of his revenge scheme against Vanya’s father, but I honestly don’t have much support for that.) 

Part Three: Two Conflicting Narratives

So, as you might’ve noticed, I sort of have two different threads of analysis going on right now. 1) The Phantom of the Opera parallel is part of Vanya’s self-narrative and in it she mischaracterizes Allison, making her more suspicious of her motivations and 2) Leonard Peabody is clearly the Phantom and doesn’t bother being subtle about it. I hope that I’ve been convincing (or at least intriguing) for you to get to this point, because here is where they come together.

Vanya has this parallel going, but she doesn’t see Leonard as the Phantom. In the beginning at least, he’s her Raoul. If I had to guess, I’d say Reginald Hargreeves is the Phantom in Vanya’s self-narrative (says he’ll train her but wants to manipulate her and keep her locked away for himself, strict teacher who doesn’t really care about her well being, wearing a mask to appear more normal/human... she wouldn’t exactly be wrong). Leonard, on the other hand, is Vanya’s supporter. He validates her, and believes in her, and taker her side when Carlotta and the opera house owners (er, the rest of the Hargreeves children) gang up on her and conspire to keep her out. 

This is all building to, of course, the final confrontation. The Phantom says Christine has to pick one or the other. When Allison comes to talk to Vanya, Vanya feels as if she’s been given an ultimatum and lashes out.

And that’s where everything (including this parallel) starts to crumble. 

(I honestly don’t know a lot about the other characters and how they fit in. I suppose we could have Five = Raoul if we ignore romance plot and focus on the childhood friend that hasn’t been seen in a while angle? And maybe also Pogo = Madame Giry. Vanya doesn’t really have any friends to be Meg.) 

Part Four: It’s All About the Moon

So that is kind of the gist of The Phantom of the Opera as a window into Vanya’s self-narrative theory, but there are a couple of other loosely related ideas I thought I might as well bring up since this thing is already ridiculously long. 

Remember how I mentioned the chandelier is like, THE scene from The Phantom of the Opera back in part one, and said it’d be relevant later? Bringing that back now, because I’m going to pull a Luther and connect everything to the moon. 

So, to get the obvious out of the way, the moon exploding and the chandelier coming crashing to the stage are similar because something falls, breaks into a bunch of pieces, destroys a bunch of stuff, and creates a powerful and memorable image to close off before an act/season break (the next installment of which begins with a time jump). 

Additionally, it’s worth mentioning that The Phantom of the Opera is told out of order. The opening scene shows a grown up Raoul at an auction for the items left behind after the opera house closes, and it switches to the past as the remains of the chandelier rise upwards to the ceiling, Phantom’s theme swelling (it’s a really cool moment, tbh). Following the prologue of The Umbrella Academy, we switch to the present with two images: Vanya alone on the stage, and then Luther alone on the moon. Which has a kind of symmetry that might mean nothing, but is still kind of cool. 

(Also the item that Raoul buys from the auction is a music box with a monkey crashing symbols on top of it. Which might mean nothing.) 

Part Five: How is she STILL talking about this? (AKA Conclusion)

To be honest, this is more a very tangled “things I noticed and thought were interesting” discussion than a formal essay with any clear thesis. While there is a chance that this was all coincidental and I’ve gone full Pepe Sylvia, the music selection in The Umbrella Academy is one of the things that they seem to be really deliberate about. 

I would love to chat with anyone about this theory, so feel free to reach out in the notes or message me! My inbox is always open. Much love, and thank you for reading, if you got this far! ❤️

[illegiblewords]

Fic Writer Meme

Swiped this because it looked like fun!

Name

Fandoms

Most popular oneshot

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Tagging: @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @parvus-pica, @peregrineroad, @spiral-seeker, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @maccaroni-eh, @entropytea, @prettyparadoxes, @ivalane, @kunstpause, @fogfens

Name: Illegible or Illegiblewords lately. I’ve switched it in the past a few times.

Fandoms: I’ve been in Final Fantasy XIV for the past couple of years now. Passively I might be in Pathologic fandom and Dragon Age fandom? Maybe others too on and off. I was in comic fandoms for a long time but honestly that spiraled into a hot mess of epic proportions so I’ve mostly peaced out of there. Still love stories, characters, and buddies from there though.

Most Popular Oneshot: Ironically it’s Ideation for Bladerunner 2049 haha. I did exactly one fic there right after seeing the movie and didn’t go back, but I thought it was very good and I had a specific story I wanted to tell. It’s one of my most popular fics, and given it’s gen too I’m actually kind of happy about that.

Most Popular Multichapter: The Immortal Wound for FFXIV fandom! I had only just started writing for the fandom, and the series leading up to this fic was my first time writing NPC shipping in FFXIV. I was seriously, SERIOUSLY nervous at first! I wrote the first fic, Posturing, as a personal challenge to do an ambiguous protagonist/NPC since I saw other people doing that and wanted to see if I could pull it off. Posted it at around 4 in the morning then deleted within a few minutes out of anxiety lol. A week went by before I read it again, realized I still liked it, and put it back up for good. That being well-received helped encourage me to keep trying, and by The Immortal Wound it was getting solid attention. The experience really meant a lot to me!

Actual Worst Part of Writing: Probably chapter maps within the outlining process for me. It’s needed for how I approach things, but shit is anxiety-inducing and stressful af lol. I basically plan each event out in high detail before actually writing the fic, so when the time comes for me to legit write I’m more or less following a plan I can trust. Making that plan is the tough part.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Often titles are the last things I figure out before starting the fic itself. I know I like punchy stuff if I can manage. Sometimes it’ll be one word, sometimes it’ll be a quote or song lyric, sometimes it’ll be a saying, sometimes it’ll be a phrase that feels fitting. I go fast and loose usually, and tbh I’ve tried to tell myself not to overthink it too hard. I do try title related works in ways that have some thematic link when I can.

Do You Outline: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAhaha yeah. Straight up my outlines are eldritch terrors for their detail, length, and complexity. I don’t mean that as a brag at all, seriously--I tend to get frozen a bit if I don’t have an outline by and large because it’s hard for me to keep track of what’s in my head and plan accordingly. Just end up with too many moving parts + revision and pacing get wonky otherwise.

Depending on the project I might have sections tied to setting, characters, magic systems, religions, etc. at the top. Fanfic this is less likely but does crop up sometimes.

To give an example of the first bullet of the first chapter of an ongoing fic:

Post-Shinryu, the Warrior of Light lingers in the Royal Menagerie alone at his own insistence to search for the Eye of Nidhogg. In the process he remembers the fight against Zenos and Shinryu. Note he was overcome by an almost feral rage at Zenos’ assumption that he was the target of anything resembling lust. Those attentions (“bite down upon my jugular”) belong to another, but note similarities of two pale-eyed, long-haired blondes. Seeing Shinryu, the Warrior had no idea whether Lahabrea survived within. The fusion was horrifying to see and as he fought he didn’t hold back because besides obvious dangers, he was also ready to mercy kill if needed. Also note Warrior wanted to intervene against Thordan for Lahabrea but wasn’t fast enough, questions a little privately how far he’d have gone against him. It might not have mattered even if he’d managed since he knows Lahabrea was going crazy and unable to listen. Locating and examining the Eye, he recognizes how drained it is. Certainly not enough to threaten him when dealing with post-battle exhaustion. So he reaches inside with his own aether, relentless in pushing aside every foreign element—Nidhogg, Thordan, the corrupted Rhalgr, the places Zenos caged them all under his own will. Zodiark’s tempering is what helps him ultimately find Lahabrea, who is barely alive. Zodiark’s tempering has preserved what it could but has a much more tenuous grip in consequence. When the Warrior finds him Lahabrea isn’t even aware, functionally unconscious. The tempering flares against him defensively and this time the Warrior focuses on it. This is all that has allowed Lahabrea to stay alive. He could force himself closer but there is no vessel. Besides, the process of separating a fragile soul so deficient in aether is too great a risk. So he keeps the Eye.

It’s not the only bullet of comparable size for that chapter. The overall piece has at least 40 total chapters, but probably more.

Ideas I Probably Won’t Get Around To, But Wouldn’t It Be Nice: Tbh probably some of the earlier WIPs I have that aren’t finished already. Not just FFXIV (Dead Language, With Good Intentions) but other fandoms. I could end up circling back in the future one day but who knows.

Callouts @ Me: “NO MORE WIPS HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE OVER 20″, “RELEARN HOW TO DO DRABBLES”, “GET UR PRESENTS DONE”, “REVIEW OTHERS MORE THE STAGE FRIGHT IS RIDICULOUS”.

Best Writing Traits: I try to write any character as the hero of their own story/with the capacity to be someone’s favorite. I do my research and prioritize telling a good story first and foremost. I can change my writing style according to need and am good at capturing the cadence and word choices of different characters.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: If no transaction has been made (esp. monetary), no one owes you shit online. Not reviews, not hits, not praise, not agreement, not content of any sort. It sucks to feel like you’re creating to a void. It sucks to be passionately in love with a rarepair when other ships are drowning in art and stories.

People still don’t owe you.

If you don’t like someone else’s content, create something exploring what you do like... or even why you don’t like that content. Tell a story. Create art. Make photosets and playlists and analyses. If it is not a literal crime (as opposed to portraying fictional crime), don’t discourage other creators no matter how awful you might find their stuff. Lend your own voice to an alternative as convincingly as you can. And if that doesn’t persuade others, you need to keep honing your own skills.

If you want more of something to exist, spread inspiration. Again this can be in storytelling, art, photosets, playlists, analysis, you name it. Give form to your passion. And if others disagree or don’t respond, keep working at it. This is a skill too, and it takes practice.

I’ve found it shows when work is created out of a sense of guilt, fear, or obligation. The quality is much lower and no one latches on to keep building in-turn. And IMO it is essential to build up rather than tearing down.

[everything-laito]

could you analyze Q.E.D? owo

Anon, you do not even REALIZE how long I’ve wanted to do this. Song lyrics are always challenging for me though, which is why I’ve never gotten around doing it. But, since I have confidence in Laito’s character and his context, I think I can do it. I get most of my DL song lyrics from Silvermoon on live journal, so special thanks to them! If you wanna listen to Q.E.D, it’s on my Soundcloud!

Please note that this analysis is a lot more loose because it’s from a song. Stuff like this is typically up to interpretation even more than Laito’s regular game script. After writing this, I discovered that @/the-madame21 had her own interpretation that QED is Laito talking to Cordelia inside of Yui. So I’m just getting imposter syndrome thinking that this analysis isn’t good enough because it’s not as “confident” as my other ones, but oh well! I hope you enjoy my interpretation too!

Let’s dive in! (and if you have anything to add on, please do, I had a bit of trouble with figuring some stuff out; song lyrics are pretty much poetry which is my weakness haha) Full thing under the cut!

As time passes, the more it expires, fading away Love dies only when growth stops If everything was laid bare, no matter what, Would the heat of the feelings from that day lessen?

I do believe the first line has to do with Laito being a vampire, with his seemingly eternal life. I don’t know what he means by “that day,” either it has to do with Cordelia or Yui. I had trouble understanding what “if everything was laid bare” so I looked up an alternative translation that said “If everything were gone, and nobody could change what went wrong,” Both essentially say the same thing, so I know it’s just a translational choice. So, I believe this is Laito questioning his emotions and thoughts about how love works. 

His statement of “Love dies only when growth stops” sounds more of a definite one; like he’s confident in it. It’s also an absolute statement, which we should all know that absolute statements should be avoided, because there are always exceptions. To me, this implies that he doesn’t have a lot of experience with love––aside from the feelings he’s experienced. Which we know is true (until Yui really, considering this his his more blood character song) and we know it’s not true love with him and Cordelia. 

I think the “growth” part in that really made me think. What does he mean by growth? I’m not fairly experienced in romantic love, but I do know love of any kind (platonic, family) you both grow together or off of each other. It’s a constructive relationship, but the “when growth stops” stumped me, because people typically never stop growing. But, in Laito lingo I think “growth” might mean until he gets bored? It makes sense to his character but I can’t say for sure. 

Even if my life was surely coming to and end, Entertaining the faint hope that this blood of mine will be passed on, The crystal of love it emitted in your body, “……―――It’s meaningless”

This... Kinda sounds like the hint of getting someone pregnant, but I really don’t think this is the case. The “crystal love” is also hard to say what that’s about, but I believe that has to do with biting/fangs. To Laito, pleasure = love, and in this case specifically, (whether we’re dealing with Cordelia or Yui) pain (typically from fangs) = pleasure = love. As for him mentioning his blood, I’m not sure if that’s a reference to turning Yui into a vampire in the first game (x to doubt kinda) or Yui and Laito “intertwining/becoming one” at the end of his More Blood’s route. But, I’m not sure! Because blood as a motif means many things within DL and in real life. 

I do believe this is Laito going back and forth believing in love or not. He’s been through so much shit which is why he says “its meaningless” despite him “entertaining the faint hope.” He’s shutting down his optimistic thoughts in an attempt to be realistic. 

Ah, as time passes, Even if it was somehow replaced, There’s no proof that I ever loved you or anything “………Because I didn’t want to say it”

THIS. THIS. GOD, it kills me. I do think by this point we know he’s talking about Yui. Sure he’s told Yui that he loves her but it was more of a meaningless thing. Yet again he says it genuinely in the scene where him and Yui do it consensually. So, I don’t know! This whole song is vague!!! But what else do we expect from him. 

He’s basically saying that if he moved on to love someone else, there was no proof that he loved them, but like how he directly says, it’s because he didn’t want to say it. Hesitance like this probably links back to the previous lyrics of him going back and forth with whether love has meaning or not. 

After all, it’s all over, isn’t it? In time, won’t everything disappear, no matter what? So without robbing us of our ‘now,’ stringing the memories together, As the continuous bloodsucking stretched out into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

Queue “It’s Over, Isn’t It” from Steven Universe This is like... optimistic nihilism (which I so vibe with lol) and I think this is Laito saying he just wants to focus on the present and get rid of the thoughts he previously said in this song (whether it be through healthy ways or unhealthy ways... it’s probably the latter). This does insinuate Yui’s presence, and him turning her into a vampire. This I believe is just another distraction for him to attempt to avoid his circling, depressing thoughts.

Now we gotta talk about what QED means. QED is an acronym for the Latin phrase “quod erat demonstrandum,” which means “what was to be shown.” In math or a philosophical argument, it’s used at the end of an argument or problem to basically say “it’s been proven.” Wikipedia also adds on that it can mean “thus it has been demonstrated” when used in this light. 

Laito’s “QED” is his desperate effort to prove if his feelings and thoughts are correct. Man it’s taken me years to actually figure out what he means by this, but this is my own interpretation. 

As the time of death approaches, the nearer it draws, coming into view There is always light behind No matter who, everyone is praying to someone There is just little remaining of that day, isn’t there?

I’m still so confused what he means by “that day.” I know this is Laito we’re talking about, but come on LOL. From this I have a feeling it’s about Cordelia and maybe the first day she abused him? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s meaning that he’s moving beyond Cordelia. I do like these lyrics because it’s super poetic. As for the “everyone is praying to someone,” this doesn’t mean everyone believes in a god, this just means that everyone has that one person they either look up to or look to gain a moral compass. That’s what a religion (to my understanding) essentially is at its basis. 

Even if we quietly tried to abandon hope, Your lips on mine again and again, as this bittersweet time passes by somewhere, The crystal of love it left within my heart, “……―――It’s worthless”

This is Laito admitting that he’s feeling love really. This is through Yui’s own love too. But him saying “it’s worthless” is another desperate attempt at him trying to be “realistic” and to not get his hopes up. 

Hey―――………Shall we dream? That we fell ill, and there were days we couldn’t see If the proof that the two of us were alive is stained red, “………Forgive me”

The way he says “forgive me” in the song is SO desperate and sad. But I think this implies that he’s asking for forgiveness for his past actions? I do think that he knows he’s twisted but he just doesn’t know anything else aside from his normalcy. Sure his actions aren’t justified but they’re explainable. 

I also think his “dream” he suggests is maybe he wants to feel alive? Maybe him feeling like his feelings “aren’t valid” because he feels that they’re “human” emotions. Because in the games he repeatedly states how he’s a vampire and not alive etc but it’s interesting how he says “if the proof that the two of us were alive” like woah buddy

The tone that depicted the future of tomorrow always shattered in your ear In your torn eardrum, it left behind a dangerous red wish As the continuous whispers stretched into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

This might reference that really.... awful.... terrible.... scene in ecstasy 04 of HDB. (I think it’s 04 ((edit: its 03 LOL I should’ve checked)) but it’s the really really uh awful one) But again I’m not sure. He does still reference turning Yui into a vampire though which is interesting, because that’s the only thing I can think of an “eternal love” being.

“If there’s no such thing as ‘eternity,’ I want to destroy this time… That’s…what I’d wished……”

This man really just wants to grasp onto things for eternity, goddamn. I think that he still just wants to distract himself or something because I’m not sure what else he would mean by that. 

Only this feeling, Forgetting the ‘warmth’ that lived, Somehow, it’s becoming vague That’s not the only thing―――……!

This seems that he’s slowly forgetting Cordelia’s “love”, which is nice. Because it’s been a long time and the whole “that’s not the only thing” might imply that he’s losing himself in other ways too aside from the feeling of Cordelia. 

After all, it’s all over, isn’t it? In time, won’t everything disappear, no matter what? So without robbing us of our ‘now,’ Stringing the memories together, as the continuous bloodsucking Stretched out into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

(I already analyzed these lines haha) but wow I love this song. I know this isn’t as confident as my other analyses but I hope this suffices, anon! 

As always, thanks for reading, and the ask box is open for any business you may have with me!

Ciao! -Corn

[authenticcadence18]

30 Questions About Me

THANKS FOR THE TAG @bugaboo-n-bananoir ILY!!!!

(Nick)name: Cadence

gender: cis female

Star sign: Pisces

Height: uhhhhh I am not sure, it’s taller than 5ft at least

Time: night! (Well I wrote most of this last night, but now it’s the evening of the next day!)

Birthday: well I’m a Pisces, so my birthday is between Feb 19th and march 20th!

Fave band/group: Pentatonix! Or For King and Country. Or the piano guys, the vitamin string quartet, Voctave.....also Phineas and the Ferbtones👌

Fave solo artists: I really like Lauren Daigle, and Jackie Evancho used to be my FAVE. Aaand idk if this counts but Michael Giacchino! love his scores, especially the score for Inside Out. There’s also this guy called Clay Kramer on YouTube who makes KK Slider covers of popular music, his stuff gives me so much seratonin😅

Song Stuck in my Head: Well I’m listening to music rn and “I’m Me” from Phineas and Ferb is on so I’ll say that! (I’ll revisit this one when I finish the list and update it with whatever song i’m listening to/is stuck in my head then) (ok the music has since been turned off and now I have “Status Quo” from High School Musical stuck in my head so! There ya go!) (now it is the next day, and I’ve got “when the party’s over” stuck in my head...i think these three songs are an accurate reflection of my taste in music🤣)

Last Movie: uhhhhh oh yeah, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice! It was SO GREAT because Jay Baruchel plays the main character (and the main character is super awkward), so I felt like I was watching Hiccup from the How To Train Your Dragon franchise learn magic and it was GLORIOUS. And also Nicholas Cage is great. And I liked the love interest in the movie as well!! She had a role to play in the story and felt authentic and genuine, which I appreciated!

Last Show: ok well the last show I watched by myself was Phineas and Ferb! Specifically, the episode with the Mardi Gras block party and then the one where Candace and Stacy compete in an obstacle course against Isabella and Ginger (omg wAIT ginger and Stacy are sisters and Isabella and Candace are GOING to be sisters mY HEART I—AH🥺). I hadn’t watched those episodes in forever, so they were really fun to revisit! I think the last actual show I watched was Kids Baking Championship or something, lol. (Those kids are AMAZING. So skilled!)

When i created this blog: November 2019! It was riiiight after the season 3 finale of miraculous aired and absolutely wrecked my emotions. I had some fanfic written that I’d never posted and had been thinking about making a tumblr/ao3 for awhile, and seeing the finale made me finally go, “.....you know what, yeah. The finale is aired, no more spoilers.....it’s time to make a blog.” So I did! And I posted my first fic! And I’m so happy i did :)

What Do I Post: a bunch of multi fandom stuff XD. This blog started off as 90% Miraculous, 10% other fandoms I like...but now it’s just kind of a hodgepoge of my favorite fandoms (with a focus on Phineas and Ferb, lol). I reblog a lot of posts, and then I post original stuff too! I write fanfic, nowadays for Phineas and Ferb but for Miraculous in the past (and probably in the future!), I draw art (mostly Phinabella art because I’ve been drawing them since i was 11 and it feels good to return to my roots), and OCCASIONALLY I will write an analysis post (I’ve got one in the works rn actually 👀), attempt to make a meme, or dip my toe into salt just SLIGHTLY before quickly backing away, lol. If I were to list the fandoms I post about in the order of how frequently I post about them, I’d probably say: Phineas and Ferb, Miraculous....and thennnnn everything else is pretty random and depends on the day, lol.

Last thing i googled: Jay Baruchel 😂. Couldn’t remember how to spell his last name!

Other blogs: this is my only blog! Sometimes I think about making a separate blog for my art and writing, but I am not sure if I should or not....maybe I will someday, but idk. I also have an AO3 for fanfic and an Instagram for art! All are under the name “authenticcadence18.”

Do I get asks: sometimes, yeah!! Sometimes I reblog ask games/prompts and get some asks for those (I’ve got so many prompts in my inbox I want to write/draw things for...ah it’s fine, I’ll get to it eventually😅), and sometimes lovely people will leave thoughts or nice messages in my inbox🥺💕. I’ve got a specific tag for all those nice messages so I can read back over them whenever I need a boost!

Why this url: it’s a music pun! When a song/section of a piece of music ends with a dominant chord resolving to a tonic chord (if you’ve read a certain fic of mine you should know allll about dominant and tonic chords👀🤣), it’s called an authentic cadence! There are different kinds of cadences, and authentic ones are my favorite. One example of this is “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” I also use this blog to be my authentic, fandom-loving self! So I like authentic cadences, and also, I’m Cadence and using this blog to be authentic! Woo! (And 18 is just my favorite number, lol) I’m glad I ended up choosing a name that doesn’t tie to a specific fandom becaaaaaause this ended up being a multi fandom blog!

Following: 232!!

Followers: 292!!! (THANKS SO MUCH Y’ALL ILY 💕)

Average amount of sleep: wellllll for the past week and a half I was sick so I was probably getting 9ish hours a night (because I would sleep in really late, lol). but NOW? In my immediate future? I suspect my average amount of sleep is going to go down because I’m really bad about staying up late even when I have to get up early😅. Hoping to be good about getting at least 7ish hours a night!

Lucky number: 18! But y’all probably already guessed that, lol.

Instruments: my voice, piano, ukulele, viola (but it’s been a HOT minute), aaaand i used to be able to play guitar but then I got a ukulele and forgot all the guitar chords. (I also dabble in songwriting! I primarily use voice and piano when writing music.)

What I’m wearing: my favorite sweatshirt (that was last night, rn I have on a tanktop), some leggings, and socks!

Dream job: I’m currently learning to be a teacher, and I LOVE teaching and working with kids so that is definitely a job I’m really excited about!!! I would also love to portray characters at Disney or something (well, maybe not at Disney because I hear they’re strict, but like....I want to be Rapunzel or Anna or something, that would be so fun). OR, I would LOVE to work in tv animation somehow, be it voice acting, writing scripts/music, and/or story boarding. basically if I could do what Dan and Swampy did for Phineas and Ferb/Milo Murphy’s Law, I would LOVE THAT. (Especially the writing music part. Getting to write music for established characters and get PAID for it would be SO COOL.!.!.!) Also I think it would be so fun to write Disney storybooks! Like, those books that are about Cinderella baking a cake or Ariel befriending a seahorse, stuff like that. Those brought me a ton of joy as a child!

Dream trip: I want to visit alllll the Disney parks someday😅. (Not right now because, ya know, Covid...but someday!)

Fave food: uhhh i really like pizza. And popcorn. Also hummus and guacamole!

nationality: American

Fave songs: “Times” by Tenth Avenue North; “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (I made an entire playlist of just this song when I first started writing my fic of the same name, so I like the original and a ton of covers of it!), “Show Yourself” from Frozen II, “What Might Have Been” from Phineas and Ferb (and lots of other songs from that show, i made a whole post about that once but I can’t find it, oof); “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle; “Thank You” by Pentatonix; “I See the Light” from Tangled; “Your Hands” by JJ Heller; “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran.....i like a loooot of songs so this is just the tip of the iceberg, but I think that’s good for now, LOL! (As soon as I post this I’m going to remember another song I love, lol)

last book: I got the book Unbirthday for Christmas! It’s basically Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, but if she’d never gone to wonderland and things went horribly wrong there. (I think, I’m not that far into it yet, lol)

Top 3 fictional universes I’d love to live in: 1. DANVILLE, PLS. Especially as a kid, I SO would’ve loved to hang out with Isabella and Phineas and the rest of the gang! Danville is so vibrant and unique and people are always randomly breaking into song there, that’s my kind of place! 2. Fairytopia (from the Barbie movies!) because I could be a fairy OR a mermaid OR BOTH and eat seeweed to breathe underwater even if I wasn’t a mermaid. Like, that’s the dream right there. (I’ve always loved mermaids and fairies, lol!) 3. Maybe San Fransokyo from Big Hero 6? All of the technology in that universe is really cool! And I would love to eat a noodle burger, lol .

Oh! That’s the last one! Wow! This was so FUN!!!!!!! Thanks again for the tag, Maddy!!!! :)

I’ll taaaag @sketchy-panda @macaronsforchat @simplynewyorkbound @inkjackets and anyone else who’d like to do this! (And pls don’t feel pressured to play at all, or answer all of the questions! I was definitely vague with a few of my answers, lol)

[reverielix]

guidelines

⇢ Please contact me if any of the links aren’t working. ⇠

general information

⇢ Writing is a form of self-expression, communication and escapism for me. I enjoy writing as a hobby, however, it is not my job. I don’t have an upload schedule nor do I owe anyone anything in regard of my writing.

⇢ I strike to create a safe space for humans of all ethnicities, sexualities, etc. and do not tolerate hate speech, discrimination or other forms of disrespectful behavior on this blog.

⇢ I currently only follow stray kids, bts and nct, but am always open for recommendations, whether it be artists to discover, songs or other content.

⇢ Have fun reading and feel free to politely correct any of my mistakes like inaccurate presentation of a certain group of people or other issues you might see with my content. 

⇢ Although I am of age, I do not write smut or create any other explicit piece of content on this blog. So please, respect my decision, and keep it pg on here.

⇢ And most importantly; Always remember to stay kind!

request guidelines:

⇢ my requests are currently open

⇢ I exclusively write for stray kids (I don’t know many groups yet, but I’ll eventually write for bts, nct and/or other groups/artists in the future)

⇢ you can request any format, pov, character, genre, ...

⇢ ... except smut!

⇢ you can include as much detail as you like (be creative!)

⇢ Do you have something in mind? Send it in! ⇠

character asks:

⇢ with this type of ask, you can directly talk to any of my characters 

⇢ make sure to include the character’s and fic’s name

⇢ please note that I intentionally leave specific plots unresolved

⇢ I think this type of ask gives you an opportunity to get to know my characters better and interact with them as well

( ⇢ feel free to use this as a ‘I wish I could’ve told him/her/them...when they/she/he did...in the story’ type thing)

⇢ Wanna talk to my characters? Send them an ask here! ⇠

astrology asks: 

⇢ if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m very into astrology

⇢ astrology asks don’t work a certain way

⇢  you can request astrological compatibility with the members (please send a screenshot of your birth chart if possible)

⇢ we could talk specific aspects of astrology or certain placements

⇢ you can ask about a character’s chart (because you better bet I have charts for characters or a vague idea of them in my head as I outline my stories or approach my pantsing process)

⇢ or you can request an astrology-based piece of craft (e.g., stray kids aesthetics based on their charts, guesses for their rising signs, x as a boyfriend considering astrology, analysis of aspects in a member’s chart, ...)

⇢ the freedom we can have with this is endless and maybe I’m even going to open an astrology side-blog for this, who knows...

(⇢ I purely view astrology as a fun tool for an attempt to understand the complexity of the human psyche. In no way do I think that an astrological birth chart is an accurate representation of a person. I enjoy the mentally stimulating concept of breaking down and interpreting aspects and planetary positions. Additionally, I seek knowledge regarding the ideas behind astrology and astrology as a whole while I acknowledge its incoherence with science.)

⇢ Do you also enjoy astrology? Then, this is the link for you! ⇠

fic recs:

⇢ my fic recs can be found here

⇢ but I’m also on the hunt for fics!

⇢ you can send me any piece of skz fan fiction

⇢ the only thing I don’t want to receive are smut fics (you can send me fics with suggestive content in them when the plot doesn’t revolve around it / I can just skip the smut without missing too much, or preferably any relevant information) 

⇢ Do you have a fic in mind? Let’s enrich each other! ⇠

writing asks: 

⇢ as you can obviously tell just by looking at my blog, I’m very passionate about writing (and by following you’d know I’m also a slow drafter, because I simply enjoy discovering new ways to write and play around with words)

⇢ so I’d like to host a space on this blog in which we can discuss all things writing (e.g., characters, specificity, purple prose, pantsing or other topics)

⇢ you can ask questions, submit posts or message me about anything writing related and I will be happy to engage in a conversation revolving around one of my favorite things: words

⇢ let’s learn together!

other:

⇢ you aren’t limited to the categories listed above as I’m always looking for communication and new ways to learn

⇢ with the aspects mentioned, I simply tried to give you an idea of what you can message me with

⇢ make sure to read the general info section above, as I’ve already answered many potential questions and explained general guidelines there (if you still happen to have any questions, feel free to let me know)

⇢ thanks for engaging, and have a nice day!

[jamestaylorswift]

The Archer - Analysis

I was nudged to write out my thoughts about “The Archer” and I’m honestly glad for the push. This song is so beautiful yet haunting. I don’t see people appreciating it as much as I think it should be appreciated.

Standard disclaimer that this is my own personal reading of the song. You are free to disagree with any or all of what I say. There are many good interpretations of this song out there. It helps that it’s a very evocative track 5!

This analysis is not short. Sorry.

——

Combat, I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

——

Unlike other tracks on Lover, there’s no concrete imagery such as a garden gate or prom dress in this song. Taylor is sharing what only exists in her mind. This is a story told purely with metaphors. It’s important to lean into them.

The purpose of the first verse is to contextualize the rest of the song. She introduces the idea of being torn about wanting a fight. She would only want to fight someone if she has a really good reason to do so. Her driving force is “cruelty winning in the movies.” Her thrown-out speeches are the thing that would start the fight. Tossing the speeches implies that she is unsure not of the content of the speeches but of entering the fray of battle that would ensue after delivering them.

It’s very hard for me to see these speeches as anything but coming out speeches. Coming out (even as a non-celebrity) is often stressful. Cruelty winning in the movies is a nod to the fact that mainstream media depicts LGBTQ characters meeting tragic ends. Taylor, as a wildly famous celebrity, has cultural influence. Her coming out would impact the culture; it could change the endings of those movies. But her impact would only be measurable years in the future. 

This verse is also where she first addresses the “you” in the song. I think the “you” is essentially a random observer/everyday Joe Schmoe. It’s nobody in particular because it could be anybody. The only thing remarkable about “you” is that she’s directly addressing them. That makes this story personal.

——

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold onto you

——

If the “you” in this song is a random person who has some benign preexisting opinion (whatever that may be, including a non-opinion) about Taylor Swift, then the “they” refers to arbitrary people who are on the fan/hate train. “They” come and go easily and represent flux in interest in her. I read the metaphor about a train with momentum as the implication that general interest in Taylor waxes and wanes but is inherently self-sustaining because of her celebrity. In this song, “they” aren’t necessarily the enemy like the public was, for example, in reputation. She just doesn’t concern herself with “them” anymore. It’s the “you” who has her full attention and who is sticking around to hear the story.

Finally, we get the first of many “help me hold onto you”s. This one is her articulating why she’s telling this story in the first place. It’s “I want you listen to this story and try to understand.” It’s “help me,” but in a chill way.

——

I’ve been the archer

I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

——

The archer is the zodiac symbol for Sagittarius, the centaur, Taylor’s astrological sign. Taylor exists in parts, just like a centaur: she is part her celebrity persona and part her real self, an amalgamation who is a Taylor different than either of the constituent halves. To the “you” it’s Taylor in her purest form. It’s impossible to completely separate her celebrity from her person at this point.

The chorus is about the duality of Taylor’s being, her actions, and others’ investment in any part of her. As the archer (hunter) she has aggressively exercised control over her public persona. As the prey (hunted) she has been a passive victim chewed up and spit out by the public/industry/etc. for things outside of her control. Sometimes it is her own actions that drive people away or attract people to her. Sometimes it is by individual choice that people board or leave the train.

The archer, Sagittarius, is also symbolic of a prophet who can predict fate. The prey is a victim of a terrible fate that, by nature, cannot be changed. I prefer to think of the archer/prey metaphor as commentary about the duality of fate rather than intense combat (for which a bow and arrow would probably be insufficient). This song is Taylor trying to reconcile the certainty of her future with distress about the unknown consequences of present-time decisions.

(Note that this first chorus is where the bass drum beat starts. It represents anxiety about the future. The first part of the song is exposition. The drum only comes in when she starts worrying about the “what ifs.”)

——

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I’m alright, right, right, right here?

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

——

Nobody Joe Schmoe has no obvious reason to hate Taylor for anything that she just said. But Taylor knows what comes next in the story. She’s anxious about Joe Schmoe’s reaction to what she’s about to say.

Taylor admits to doing self-destructive things. Because of the context she provided at the beginning of the song, I believe this is a reference to staying closeted. The “reflection” could be the literal reflection of her now-noseless face. Hating it is pure personal regret for self-destructive actions. The “reflection” could also be the mirror which her fans/the public hold up to her. Her self-destructive choices manifest in others’ toxicity. Hating what they’ve become starts with hating the ways she enables that behavior. (It’s really both “reflections.” The duality of man, yadda, yadda, yadda…)

More important than blaming herself for any (*cough*) past decisions, she articulates the pain of being in the closet in two simple lines. Burying a significant part of yourself by hiding behind a carefully constructed lie is exhausting. It’s sad. It also provides protection and safety and it’s unfortunately all too common. Cruelty wins in the movies, thus people are cruel to themselves.

——

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

Help me hold onto you

——

I think people consistently underestimate just how morbid “The Archer” is. Taylor reveals that her prophetic future is death—specifically, becoming a ghost, thus leaving an imperceptible trace of herself. She already feels suffocated by that possibility. Her suffering is invisible. She might just be left to die a slow, agonizing death via asphyxiation. Worse yet, what happens afterwards? Asphyxiation from invisible smoke would make it seem like she just dropped dead of her own accord. Or if the smoke somehow became visible….well, if you could see a ghost in the first place, a smoke-filled room would make that impossible. The implications are staggering and they’re all sad.

Few, if any, of Taylor’s heroes have literally died alone. I’m going to go out on a short limb here and say that Taylor probably sees parts of herself in her heroes. Therefore, the “heroes” in a song supposedly about the dilemma of coming out are other famous people who were/still are closeted. Taylor identifies herself as a potential role model for the younger generation like her heroes are for her. Her heroes’ lonely metaphorical deaths are exactly what she fears. Dying alone is being in the closet indefinitely. It’s being misunderstood and not having any way to rectify that situation. Perhaps this song is about the mortifying ordeal of remaining unknown.

As evidenced by the invisible smoke in the room, she thinks her metaphorical death is certain and imminent. The “help me hold onto you” is now “help me,” but in a very unchill way.

——

‘Cause they see right through me

Can you see right through me

I see right through me

——

As a reminder, “they” = random people in the public and “you” = nice, ordinary Joe Schmoe whom she wishes could understand her predicament. Being see-through is being seen without substance. Therefore, what the bridge is not saying is “don’t you see how obvious it is, isn’t it wild that people don’t pick up on me and/or my lover being loud in public?” It is saying “I am literally a ghost to ‘them’ because ‘they’ look at me and don’t see any of this pain, I’m basically dead to myself too because I feel like I’m already doomed, you’re my last hope so please say you see me.” Who cares about reaping the benefits (love, adoration) from the mortifying ordeal of being known? At this point she’s pleading simply to be seen as herself. “I see right through me” is her worst fear. This is why this line breaks out of the bridge and bleeds into the surrounding choruses.

(The bridge, to me, is where it becomes clear that treating the “you” as her lover with whom she could come out does a serious disservice to the rest of the song. Her lover as “you” inverts the meaning of the bridge. This makes the story inconsistent. I appreciate the gravity of the “help me hold onto you” line if it were spoken to a secret lover. However, being seen/understood is more intimately tethered to being out as an individual than being out with another person. In my mind, it makes more sense for this attitude to be an invariant of the song.)

——

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

Couldn’t put me together again

‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Help me hold onto you

——

The Humpty Dumpty rhyme is basically “anthropomorphized egg sits on top of a high wall, anthropomorphized egg falls off the wall and shatters irreparably.” Taylor as Humpty Dumpty makes the wall she’s on top of the pedestal of fame/success. She’s saying that coming out would topple her from her pedestal. Her image as a woman who became famous for writing heterosexual love songs is as fragile as an eggshell. When it breaks, what is left behind?

“All the king’s horses, all the king’s men” might be a reference to her fans whom she once considered as friends but whom can also be incredibly toxic. I read it as a catch-all for anyone who isn’t Taylor. The key of this verse is her musing on why an eggshell can’t be repaired. It’s not for lack of manpower. It’s that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men—everyone, literally—are enemies and don’t want to reconstruct Humpty Dumpty. They simply don’t believe Humpty’s death is so tragic that they would spend effort to change his fate.

Taylor fears that darling Joe Schmoe, a friend to whom she is addressing this story, could become an enemy by conscious choice. She can give Joe Schmoe the truth and plead to be seen, but Joe Schmoe can still choose to see right through her anyways. It’s terribly frightening to be honest yet have that vulnerability go unacknowledged. Taylor coming out is her facing the prospect of instant confirmation that good people do not care. She could die a ghost despite efforts to be visible.

——

Who could stay?

You could stay

Combat, I’m ready for combat

——

Coming out is a choice but being gay is not—it is fate. She has no control over how others react to that. Taylor slowly acknowledges throughout the song that her future isn’t in her hands. She ultimately shifts away from the prophet/victim binary by reiterating that she’s sure of herself and that whatever happens, she’s not going down without a fight.

Lover the album isn’t just about romantic love. This song is not construing an inherently unequal and sometimes toxic relationship with fans/the public as love. “The Archer” romanticizes the possibility of someone reacting to honesty with kindness and understanding. Love is being seen.

[grouchomarxiste-blog1]

Bong Joon-Ho’s Parasite: Marx and Violence

Warning: A majority of this was written pre-pandemic, so please excuse my overly optimistic tone. It was a different time.

Yes, another Bong Joon-Ho film. Can you blame me? The guy’s a genius. Parasite was another one of those great films that will never leave you. You can watch the movie simply without doing a major analysis in your head and you will still agree that it’s a great movie. Which personally, is why I believe it's made its way into the major American awards season. Parasite winning Best Foreign Film at the Golden Globes was one of the few decisions I’ve agreed with. I didn’t see any of the winners in the film categories besides Parasite, and I’m very much ok with that. It’s making its way into Hollywood and the favorite lists of celebrities. Elon Musk said he loved Parasite (he also turned Grimes, the former “anti-imperialist,” to the mother of his future child). Chrissy Teigen loved Parasite (a lot can be said about her, so let’s not). Obama loved Parasite (but I have some serious doubts about the authenticity of his yearly favorites list. Mainly because I can’t imagine him listening to Summer Walker). I was completely boggled at all of those tweets. How? How is one so blind? How did one watch Parasite and not feel a thing? After I watched Parasite, I rushed back to school to attend the discussion section of my Political Theory class so I could read and discuss primitive accumulation through dispossession with revolutionary fervor. I recommended it to everyone near me. I even wrote a note to my professor who tucked it into his book. But is that the problem- that all these beloved figures (not mine) end up loving the sheer adrenaline of the story and tweet to their followers about how great the movie is. Those followers, with their favorite celebrities’ seal of approval, watch the movie, not putting it together either. Bong Joon-Ho is critiquing those very figures! In every post-Parasite interview, Bong Joon-Ho has said that Parasite is about America and capitalism, but we have just reduced those statements to memes on Twitter. As funny as they are, Parasite is rich for its class analysis. The Hollywood reaction is just as important. Marx is all over this movie, there's no question about it. I also want us to understand these controversial moments from a Fanonian perspective, again all with relation to Marx. I hope for us to understand that everything about this movie is intentional and every bit of it is worth pages and pages of discussion. I nearing 11 pages as I write this. I also hope that this film can be a way for us to understand economic exploitation in the 21st century. While many celebrities have misunderstood it, it is important that you, us, the people, the working class, grasp every bit of this radical film.

I’m not going to bother with another one of my “brief summary” because I’m assuming, we’ve all seen it. It's on Hulu now and I believe Apple TV. If you don’t want to pay for either platforms, watch a pirated version online, I genuinely don’t think Bong will mind.

I want to talk about the home. I know we all had the same reaction to that beautiful home: awe, admiration, and envy. The Park’s home itself is significant, but also in contrast to the Kims’ home. The Kim’s live in a small semi-basement home, where they have to reach up in order to look out their window and see the street level. Their home is dirty, cramped, just not a place where anyone wants to be. But immediately, I thought of Fanon and the native sector. I know that Parasite isn’t about colonialism, but space is important to Marx (I’ll return to Fanon). In The Communist Manifesto, Marx and Engels attribute many things to the process of proletarianization. To name a few: literacy campaigns and public education, the politicization of the proletariat towards the end of feudalism, expansion of media, etc. One that stands out, is the mass migration and urbanization of the proletariat. Through that, the proletariat was concentrated into the poorest parts of the city where they shared their most intimate quarters with workers like themselves (Marx and Engels, 15) One might dismiss this as a historical example specific to Europe, but if we go back to my thoughts on Memories of Murder, we’d note how Korea’s transition to a modern capitalist society, was a fairly recent one (from 1987 onwards). As the agricultural sector suffered, Koreans living in the rural provinces were forced to move into the major cities. Park (Song Kang-Ho’s character in Memories) was lucky enough to become a successful businessman, unlike the Kims who earn their livelihood by holding pizza boxes- the most insignificant work. Along with urbanization, the proletariat also occupied the small space of the factory, where they are reminded of the everyday brutality of their work. The Park’s home is not cramped, but the one scene where everyone is rushing to hide from them, results in Ki-taek, Ki-jeong, and Ki-woo hiding underneath a coffee table overnight. After that lengthy battle with Geun-sae and Moon-gwang, the Kims are exhausted. They do not want to be laying side by side hearing the Parks have sex. My friend Sef also reminded me that the Parks had weird sex as Mr. Park recalled how their old chauffeur possibly had sex with a drugged-up prostitute, a scenario that previously made Mrs. Park scream out of disgust. Revisiting this, I believe this definitely deserves a psychoanalytic analysis.

This isn’t their breaking point, but also hearing Mr. Park say that Ki-taek smells like the subway is a factor. Once making their break they run outside where it's raining heavily. They come to their home which is flooded and destroyed. Here is where I’ll start talking about Fanon. [READ NOTE]. Again, I know the colonial system is not the case in Parasite. Fanon was a Marxist and expanded on Marxist theory in the colonial context. I just want to warn you that I am using Fanon as carefully as possible, not using concepts that are distinctly racial. I know there’s probably also much more relevant work out there on spatiality and violence, but I think Fanon’s prose style in The Wretched of the Earthis quite appropriate for the film. Let’s consider the colonial bourgeoisie as the Parks and the natives as the Kims. Fanon calls the colonial world, a “compartmentalized world.” The colonists’ sector is clean and protected whereas the native sector is overcrowded, envious, and starving. Sounds about right so far.

The colonist’s sector is a sector built to last, all stone and steel. It’s a sector of lights and paved roads, where the trash cans constantly overflow with strange and wonderful garbage, undreamed-of leftovers. The colonizer’s feet can never be glimpsed, except perhaps in the sea, but then again you can never get close enough. They are protected by solid shoes in a sector where the streets are clean and smooth., without a pothole, without a stone… The colonized’s sector or at least the “native” quarters, the shanty town, the Medina, the reservation, is a disreputable place, inhabited by disreputable people. You are born anywhere, anyhow. You die anywhere, from anything. It’s a world with no space, people are piled one on top of each other. (Fanon, 4)

This becomes extremely relevant when the Kims run out of the Parks’ home in the pouring rain. I kept noticing that they were all barefoot, only focused on getting out of there. My toes curled in the movie theater watching that. Running away from that traumatic house to find your own home destroyed, relocating to a displacement camp, THEN going to work the next day for your unaffected employer who has the audacity to audibly take a sniff of you. I don't know about you, but to me, this sounds like the conditions for a proletarian revolution. Besides the literal allegory, the tone sharply shifts. One could argue that it began to change when they found Geun-sae in the bunker or when Moon-gwang hit her head but that was just some good old dark comedy for me. After the flooding, things are different. Ki-taek has this unmoving face. Things turned grim and we knew something climactic was about to happen. Fanon’s most famous chapter, “Concerning Violence,” maintains that decolonization will always be a violent event because colonialism is a violent system itself. Something that I absolutely love about this chapter is that it isn’t some dense, theoretical work. It’s a revolutionary call to arms for all colonized people. It has a strategic pace which parallels Parasite so well. He sets the scene- the compartmentalized, Manichaen world. He slowly intensifies the antagonistic relationship between the colonizer and the colonized, until this culminating point:

The colonized subject thus discovers that his life, his breathing and his heartbeat are the same as the colonist’s. He discovers that the skin of the colonist is not worth more than the “natives.” In other words, his world receives a fundamental jolt. The colonized’s revolutionary new assurance stems from this. If no longer strike fear into me or nail me to the spot and his voice can no longer petrify me. I am no longer uneasy in his presence. In reality, to hell with him. Not only does his presence no longer bother me, but i am already preparing to waylay him in such a way that he will no longer have any solution but to flee (Fanon, 10)

As corny as it sounds, when I first read that, it brought me to tears. I’m not sure if it was just because I was up for three days straight writing my midterm and I was finally breaking, or because it just meant that much to me. But that section in which the colonized discoversthat his life is worth as much as the colonizer is such a crucial moment. This parallels the infamous birthday scene. Geun-sae gets out of the bunker, stabs Ki-jung, the Park’s kid (I’ll look his name up later) has a seizure, and Chong-sook is wrestling with Geun-sae. Shit is going down. If we recall, Mrs. Park mentioned that it takes a few minutes for her son to die after a seizure and needs to go to the hospital immediately. So much is going on and Mr. Park starts screaming at Ki-taek to give him the keys. Ki-taek is immobilized at this point. His daughter has been stabbed, son attacked, wife almost killed, the Parks’ got him dressed up in some cultural appropriation, Hollywood Indian regalia. In fact, I find it very fitting that he’s dressed up as a Native American at this moment. I see this as Bong’s satirical nod to old ultra-capitalist Hollywood. But if enough wasn't going on, Mr. Park sniffed. He got close to Geun-sae, a man who’s been living underground for 3 years and audibly sniffed him in disgust. The same way that he sniffed Ki-taek. Of course, there’s probably a difference between a “subway” smell vs. “I haven't showered in 3 years” smell but at the moment it feels as if it's almost the same thing. In my initial viewing, I thought what happened next was because of that, but no. Ki-taek realized that his life was worth the same as the Parks, and their presence no longer bothers him, but he is now plotting against him, and the time of action is now. Ki-taek stabs Mr. Park and flees. Annoyingly, the YouTube section for this clip is filled with people feeling bad for the Parks and discussing how what Ki-taek did was wrong. Of course, the average viewer will view the Parks as some sympathetic rich suckers who only treated the Kims kindly. The casual reader who picks up Fanon for the first time would also dismiss his theory of violence as immoral in comparison to non-violent methods like Gandhi’s. A lot can be said about Gandhi, but Fanon says that non-violence is a strategy created by the colonizer to deter decolonization and paint the colonizer as a gentle ruler who wants peace. This is not the case. Colonialism is a violent system. Capitalism is a violent system. Colonialism can only be undone violently. Capitalism can only be undone violently. Now I don't mean to make this all about colonialism, as my friends say I often do. But the similarities are clear. The question isn’t whether the murder of Mr. Park was a justified act, but what were the conditions that forced Ki-taek to murder. Geun-sae killed Ki-jung, but no one in the comment section is having a debate on whether his murder was ethical. Because in our heads we feel bad for him, and the life that he’s lived- why don’t we feel the same towards Ki-taek? Geun-sae and Ki-taek are two sides of the same coin. Geun-sae’s exploitation is naked. He’s confined to the basement, controlling the lights of the home. A feature of the house that Mr. Park doesn't even pay attention to, never mind considering that there is someone manually operating it. A clear example of how our labor is alienated. All while blindly worshipping Mr. Park- a man who knows nothing of his existence. Honestly, I hope some of you see yourselves in Geun-sae the next time you defend billionaires online. But Ki-taek is just another exploited worker. I understand this can be hard to understand in our current understanding of the world. How is Ki-taek exploited? Him and his family conned their way into their jobs and leech off of the Parks. Again, we must return to the system as a whole to understand. None of this wouldn’t have happened if the Kims weren’t desperately poor in a capitalist society, which enables families like the Parks, to live a life of excess at the expense of the Kims. Capitalism is a system of exploitation; we cannot forget that. Quite simply, no one is rich without thousands that are poor.

          The levels of the home are also this unforgettable feature. I just want to make this quick note about the issue of the ghost. Did you forget about the ghost? Da-Song didn’t (yes, I finally looked his name up!). I find the story of the ghost such an interesting touch. Not just as a way for Bong to warn the audience about Da-Song’s history of seizures. When Mrs. Park tells Chung-sook of the story, she says “they say a ghost in the house brings wealth.” This, of course, is true since the exploitation of those like Geun-sae are responsible for the wealth of the Parks, in the larger picture. I’d like to look further into this. There's a twofold meaning to this. I do believe that this ghost is symbolic to the exploitation of the Kims, and the proletariat in general, but that’s Mrs. Park’s understanding of this ghost. The way she understands this ghost, is as a source of wealth. Maybe Mrs. Park isn’t as ditzy as we imagine- she to some degree, understands her class position. But like most, she doesn’t question the ghost, or her class position. She knows that if she looks into either, it would result in the ugly truth. Da-Song, however, is just a child. He’s too young to really understand the economic and social relations which are responsible for his wealth. He’s also too young to consciously suppress any desire to investigate the matter like his mother. He is a child after all and is naturally curious. But his first encounter with the ghost was the one that resulted in a near fatal seizure. This can be his body’s reaction to the life-threatening figure of a ghost. The ghost isn’t just a threat to his mortal life, but his wealth, some may argue that these are the same. Mrs. Park pays for therapy for his “trauma” so he could forget the event, but he still knows. He saw this ghost and is the only one to seriously consider its threat. Mrs. Park knows it's real but chooses to not think about it. I want to return to the Manifesto. Let's hear these famous words: “A specter is haunting Europe- the specter of communism… Two things result from this fact: Communism is already acknowledged by all European powers itself to be a power...” (Marx and Engels, 8). Don’t think I’m just including this because he’s talking about a specter, in fact, I think this story of the ghost is an intentional allusion to the specter of communism. Da-Song represents this figure of the bourgeoisie who is in constant anxiety over the threat of his wealth. When he reappears at his birthday party, he has another seizure. Also, at this time, the family, and all of their guests are witness to the horrors of their wealth and what it's created. This naked, hideous display, this moment of confrontation is a pivotal point in the dialectic. Of course, this murderous moment is not seen as a success to the viewer with Mr. Park, Ki-jung, and Geun-sae dead, Ki-woo presumed to be dead, and Ki-taek missing. This just shows us that the bourgeoisie are their own gravediggers- to again invoke the Manifesto. On a larger scale, this would be the moment of a revolution- but we don’t. Ki-woo survives with Chung-sook and is put on probation. Ki-taek is missing to the police, but Ki-taek realizes that he’s living in the bunker in hiding. Ki-woo declares that he will make enough money to buy the home and free his father. At first, I wondered “why couldn't he just sneak him out of the house when the new owners were asleep?” “Why did he have to buy the home?” As much as I wanted to portray the Kims to be revolutionary figures, Ki-woo has the common fate of most. Instead of usurping power from the bourgeoisie, he believes he can free his dad from the home, by owning the house. Everyone who lives in the basement is stuck there for a reason, because someone is forcing them to stay there. A perfect allegory for the relations of production as I have repeatedly mentioned throughout this text. Ki-woo desires a bourgeois life (as most working-class folk do!) in order to lift his father out of the despair of poverty. He believes the only way he can save his father is to own the home, which could easily be seen as the means of production. A nice touch which I had to look up, was as Ki-woo tells us of his desire to buy the home, a song plays called “546 years”- the amount of time it will take for him to earn enough money. I wish this song title was more obvious for the American viewer. I am not trying to take away from this film by saying that, but for a viewer who knows Korean or the song title, they’ll understand the tragic nature of his dreams. Whereas the American viewers will sympathize with his dreams- as we’ve done with immigrants and “the American Dream” or the bootstrapping mentality of some people. In some way I do think Bong didn’t want an overtly revolutionary ending. I don’t think the average viewer, especially in this day, could handle an ending like that. Not to say that we don't understand class inequality and such. We are not living in, say the 60s/70s where there were Marxist movements all throughout the world. I don’t think we have the conditions for a revolution at this moment, although I do think the mass unemployment and the other severe economic consequences of this virus will radicalize the working class in large numbers, to a degree that we haven't seen in a long time. But to make my point, I feel that we are living in historic political times and we are coming to understand ourselves in a liberating way.  It is my hope that films like Parasite will awaken the revolutionary potential in us all.

Note: I wanted to use Fanon’s theory of violence and diagnosis of colonialism as a violent structure, in relation to capitalist society. I don’t want us to interpret his writings as something that can be isolated from the racial structure of colonialism, but i do think it is a beneficial guide to understanding this film.

Work Cited:

Philcox, Richard, translator. “On Violence.” The Wretched of the Earth, by Frantz Fanon, Grove Press, 2004.

Joon-Ho, Bong, director. Parasite. Barunson E&A, 2019.

Marx, Karl, and Frederick Engels. The Communist Manifesto. International Publishers, 1948.