#i might need more

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[mel-kusanagi]

they just met btw

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[o0kawaii0o]

"Anything caught your eye?"

[suntails]

growing up!

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Michael and Jermey became friends in FNAF

[aluminia]

OK I saw a poll about something similar and now I am curious

-Assume it's a celebrity you like and that they haven't made a statement about this sort of thing.

-The celebrity in question is just casually out and about, they are not part of an event or panel.

-By "go up to them" I mean saying hello or asking for a picture

-If you have to talk to them as part of your job it doesn't count unless you also ask for something similar to the above.

-This is a judgement free zone, there is no correct answer I am just curious.

Inspired by this poll

[noodles-and-tea]

twins in time continuation of that blue doodle comic thingy, but fidd is forced to take care of stan when Ford gets into the portal stuff, leaving him behind.

I reckon he teaches him math…

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[liorlenn]

(KCD2 SPOILERS)

So. I’ve been laughing about this like all day and I need to talk about it. My gay ship just went canon in the most male power fantasy game of all time.

Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 recently released (I’ve been playing it, it’s good). It’s an RPG set in medieval Bohemia. You play as Henry, a blacksmith’s son. The first game, released back in 2018, starts with your village being burned to the ground and everyone either is killed or has to flee. The rest of that game is you trying to, among various things, deal with your trauma and get revenge. It’s a very well executed story in my opinion.

A notable character in the game is Lord Hans Capon, who was a real guy but the game version is a bit loosely based on him. Hans and Henry become rivals then friends. Their noble/peasant dynamic is reminiscent of Arthur and Merlin in BBC Merlin (though I would argue the class dynamics are far better executed and more nuanced). Like ten people including me decided to ship them.

The first game was a bit rough but overall good. It garnered a decent audience, including a notably large audience of straight white men who really like medieval history but not enough to know much about it beyond swords are cool. You get the picture.

The second game is announced. Those guys I mentioned are super excited!

Well. As it turns out there’s going to be a homosexual relationship in the game, according to an announcement made by the director at the end of January. Uh oh. W-well as long as it’s not the main character-

Cue release day, February 4th. IT IS!!!

HANS AND HENRY. It’s THEM! They have sex ON SCREEN. No nuance about it (though it’s important to note this is an option you have to CHOOSE).

The guys go crazy. KCD has gone woke they cry. And to make it worse there’s *gasp* a black man in a Bohemian court! DEI!

I can’t believe Warhorse Studios did it. I’m genuinely amazed. I have never been so vindicated in my life.

Everyone play this game for the love of god. The combat is tough but there’s plenty of guides online. It’s worth it I promise. (However, caution that the co-owner of the studio is a bit of a shithead. I just try to ignore him, but I get it if that’s a dealbreaker.)

[maxlovespigeons]

I disappear for like two months, I return, I can suddenly draw them well

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

PD-MDZS: The Hallmark Episode.

[meruz]

i love when raiden answers the codec and reports his situation is "wet and miserable" LOL hes so real to me...

[seamistgale]

Of @ghostreblogging, Where Danny has the same tax evasion skills as his parents. Kind of a coffee shop AU, but well, its gotham.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael learns of Jeff’s pizza from FNAF Into the pit

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

kabru and mithrun's fun succubus adventure