#i might be just a little bit obsessed. Maybe.
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forgive me, father (for i feel no sin)
eddie/father brian (+ kinda buddie) | E | 4k | hot priest hookup Eddie finds religion in a gay bar. Or, rather, he finds a man of religion in a gay bar.
Because Eddie is trying this new thing where he doesn’t blame himself for everything, he would like to blame it all on Buck instead. And, honestly, what happens probably has a whole lot more to do with Buck than he’s ready to acknowledge. But, as much as he wants to say it is, it’s not Buck’s fault. The night out might be for him, but Eddie was the one who suggested it.
Only, when he’d said they should all go out for drinks, as way to cheer Buck up after allowing him a couple of weeks of sulking over the breakup, he’d thought it would be their usual: he and Buck and Hen and Chim and maybe Bobby at a badge and ladder joint, drinking beers and splitting fries and shooting the shit. Casual, relaxed, familiar.
He hadn’t expected to end up at a gay bar.
Bobby isn’t in attendance but in his place are Karen and Maddie and Ravi and his boyfriend, Seb, and — to Eddie’s minor displeasure — Josh. It’s been a lot: the music loud and the lights colorful and the energy around them electric.
It’s been a lot, but it’s also been fun.
They had crammed into a booth together and done shots with outrageous names that Eddie would have blushed to say aloud. Thankfully Chim had been all too happy to order for them and get Maddie a soft drink with a somehow even cruder title. Buck has been well and truly pep-talked by a drunk Karen and a tipsy Ravi and an always shrewd Josh, sober or not. And they’ve all had a turn on the dance floor: Buck demonstrating that he has two left feet, Maddie proving it’s an affliction that doesn’t run in the family.
Buck’s still out there now, with Hen and Karen, though Eddie’s lost track of them amongst all the other patrons, bumping and grinding to the music, the strobe lighting casting everyone in frozen snapshots. He’s retired back to their booth after fighting his way to the bar for a glass of water, sweat dampening his armpits, the small of his back, from his prior dancing and the hot, humid air of the club.
Maddie and Chimney have gone home — Maddie lamenting that the morning part of morning sickness is a big fat lie — but Seb and Josh are seated in the booth, chatting — or almost yelling, really, to be heard over the blaring pop music. Their glasses are almost empty of the cocktails Josh had left the dance floor to order them about the time Buck was boogieing to Beyoncé and no amount of fruity juice could have tempted Eddie away from the sight. There’s no sign of Ravi and Eddie wonders if he’s off braving the battle to the bar that he’s just been through, trying to win them the victory of another round.
He collapses onto the padded seat of the booth, perched at the end, unfortunately on Josh’s side to leave space for Ravi to sit next to his boyfriend when he returns. Downs his water, maybe a little too desperately — feeling some of it spill from the side of his mouth, track down his jaw — but he’s parched, fluids sorely needed to replace those lost while twirling Karen around, while proving he has better moves than Josh, while shouting along to the NSYNC song he knows all the lyrics to because Sophia was obsessed with them when they were kids (and maybe, secretly, Eddie liked them too — just a little bit).
Ravi appears as he’s setting his empty glass back on the table, but with no cocktails in hand. He looks freshly sweaty enough to have been out on the dance floor but, with the heat in the building, that could simply be the result of a walk to the bathroom. He leans into Seb’s side, says something that Eddie doesn’t even try to hear with how loud the intro to the Katy Perry song that the DJ has selected is playing.
Josh shifts closer to Eddie, conversation interrupted by Ravi’s return. He speaks loud enough and with his mouth close enough to his ear that Eddie hears every word, clear and fully intelligible. “That guy is watching you.”
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#eddie diaz x hot priest#lol what a tag#eddie diaz x father brian#but also#buddie#because it is me who wrote this so of course#buddie fic#buddiefic#911#911 fic#911fic#911 abc#eddie diaz#father brian#hate calling him that he will always and forever be hot priest in my heart#eddie diaz fic#myfic
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Could you do a story where Sergei is tough, but also overprotective of the protagonist, pls?
I love your stories
A/N: ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. I am so glad you requested this because lately I've been obsessed with sergei and have been thinking of a way to make a small fic about his toxic self so you requesting this gave me an idea! Thank you so much anon! It might be a little different from your request though but the tough part as well as overprotectiveness is still there, just more dark themes. I hope you don't mind that though, I just feel like it fits more with his character.
YOU'RE MINE, ALRIGHT? — sergei kravinoff
note: I do not own this man because he owns himself, periodt. This is made purely out of entertainment purposes!
warning!: violence, age-gap, (somewhat) toxic relationship, little blood, swearing, sexual harassment, mentions of death, 18+, and sergei being hot (man is a warning himself) mdni
__________________
You were only taking your nightly stroll in the forest while your lover was in the cabin somewhere in the woods that he made you move in after knowing each other for a while. Your relationship with him was not really ideal but you loved him with all your heart and vice versa.
Your lover might not show it but he cares about you more than he let on. It worried you for quite some time now that maybe you weren't good enough for him, you refused to do such things that he called 'the hunt'. You weren't prepared to do something so unnerving. Surprisingly, he agreed to let you prepare after a bit of arguing and silent treatments of course. Still, you thought that he might leave you because you have never done anything for him other than sit still and be pretty.
But you were so wrong.
Sighing as an owl hoots through the trees and crickets sounding in your surroundings, you now began to walk towards the path to the cabin. You've basically just walked straight from here to there so it wasn't that hard to find your way back.
Noises of leaves crushing alerted you as you walked down the path. Multiple voices sounded from the right side of you but before you could hide, a bright flashlight flickered towards your figure, blinding you.
Hissing a bit from the bright light, you blinked your eyes before your vision focused to four males who looked about a couple years older than you. An ache appeared in your stomach as you felt like you had a bad feeling about the situation.
"Well, well. Look at what we have here." One of the men whistled as his eyes looked at your frame up and down.
"Quite a looker, right?" The other one on his right licked his lips in anticipation.
"Think we could use her for entertainment?" Another one from behind snickered. As if a light bulb appeared on top of their heads, their eyes lit up dangerously making you step back in fear as you heard their conversation.
No, please don't.
"Don't worry, doll. This will only last for the whole night." The man in the middle reassured but it was anything but reassuring. Before you could sprint off, one of them had already grabbed you by the arms, arms tightening around you as you continued to struggle.
Fear was evident in your eyes as tears started to prickle in them. This cannot be happening, you thought. You were a bit far from home so you couldn't scream for your lover because of the distance. You were now sobbing as the men took their time in touching you. Hands ripping off your shirt leaving you in your bra as well as your lover's boxers that you wore since you've used all of yours already.
You could feel their hands groping each part of your body before they finally decided to spread your legs. You were struggling to close it because multiple pair of hands were pinning you down to the ground next to a tall tree.
Sergei, that was the only thing you could think of.
Sergei, my love.
Sergei, please.
Save me.
"SERGEI!" You suddenly screamed out your lover's name making the men flinch from your voice.
"Fucking hell—this bitch is so loud!"
"Scream all you want, love. But no one ain't gonna hear you here." They all laughed as you kept sobbing. Why must this happen? Your bra was long forgotten as you tried to get your hands free but alas you cannot. The man between your legs then lowered his head towards one of your breasts but before he could latch on it a loud thump interrupted them.
"You dare.." A deep voice growled out as the four men stopped what they were doing. They slowly looked up and saw a very muscular man that stalked over them. His eyes glowing in a yellow serpent like color, his forearms hardening, as well as a very dark and murderous look on his face. The man menacingly stalked towards them as the men were quick to scramble up to their feet fixing their clothes before sprinting out.
The man immediately chased them and since all four were running at the same direction, he jumped high and landed in front of them to stop them from escaping.
"You dare to break and enter my forest, not only that.." He continued his words from before. Grabbing one of them by the neck he tossed him to a tree, hard. Making a sickening crack to be heard in the air, causing the others to look at the man in fear.
"You hurt what is mine."
You woke up in a familiar room and the warmth surrounding your from the fireplace. You were confused, weren't you just in the forest taking a nightly stroll while your lover was busy?
Just then your head started to ache as you remembered what happened. You hugged yourself as you now began to sob quietly, you were harassed, sexually to the point that you were ripped off your clothing. It made you feel disgusted with yourself, what would Sergei think of you now?
Footsteps sounded from behind you as you continued to wrap your arms around yourself hoping to shield yourself from the exposure from the world. Hot steaming food was suddenly placed in front of you as you blinked from surprise before looking away, not wanting to consume any food.
"Eat." It was your lover. Sergei plopped down on the spot beside you taking the spoon topped with food from the plate before putting said plate on the drawer beside the bed. He grabbed you by the chin before gently forcing you to look in his direction. This gave you no choice but to eat the food on the spoon he held up.
This continued for a few moments until you finished your food. The silence was deafening and it bothered you but it seems like your lover doesn't see that.
"I'm sorry."
Sergei paused from cleaning up the table before looking at you, confusion evident in his eyes despite his face unchanging.
"O—other men touched me..y—you probably don't want a woman like me a—anymore. I mean, I wouldn't as well.." You coarsed out as tears began to fall from your eyes as you look down in shame. You couldn't look at him in the eyes, you were so ashamed of yourself, hell even disgusted. You felt so dirty as you could still feel those men's hands all over you, tongues licking your neck, fabric tearing away from your skin. It made you feel ill.
Suddenly your face was gently pulled up letting you make eye contact with a pair of dark brown eyes that was in a fixed scowl but if you looked closely, it softened the moment you both made eye contact.
Sergei didn't know how to comfort you as growing up, all he knew was violence. But he did the only thing he knew he could do.
He kissed you.
"I'll make their hands disappear and make you remember mine, instead."
#aaron taylor johnson#aaron taylor johnson x reader#sergei kravinoff#sergei kravinoff x reader#kraven the hunter#kraven x reader
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Gang with y/n who loves putting patches on her bags and cloths, like clothes and maybe even tjere clothes
Summary: The Gang w a Patch Obsessed!Reader Warnings: None Author's Note: None. PONYBOY thouroughly believes your patches make you look so adorable. He has never seen patches used the way you do, to decorate your clothes instead of feeling a little shameful because your clothes have holes in it. He believes that even a couple of soc girls are jealous of your patches because they're very fashionable. He lets you decorate as many things as you can, but in places he can easily remove them because he might need it removes for something. He loves the symbolic ones, because then only he and you know what it means. JOHNNY really likes when you relate him to patches. His favorite is when you put sunflowers on the insides of his jacket. He just thinks its so cute. He'll give you a matching one if you teach him how to put it on correctly. The stitching isn't as good as yours, but you can tell that he tried, and that's the beauty of it. He definetly puts patches on the lining of your coat secretly, but they're actually really well put together. SODAPOP thinks your patches are so adorable. He's able to get to know so much about you just by looking at you. He'll actually fall head over heels if you put a soda bottle on something of yours, he thinks it so cute even if the gang thinks its corny. He's always asking you to fix the DX logo on his shirt because he picks at it when hes bored and it falls off a number of times. For your birthday, he'll save up every paycheck and buy you custom patches of whatever you want. He's so excited to see what you'll do with them. STEVE thinks the patches are such a good hobby. He likes going through them and hearing the story behind each, he thinks it makes you two more connected. Although he tries not to change up his work shirts and pants, he lets you put a patch on everything else. He loves seeing you go wild with your hobbies and seeing you zoned in on something you like. He learns how to put patches on things but he's not very good (yet). You told him it would be a great gift if he put a patch on something of yours and now he's stressing about practicing. TWO-BIT thinks the patch collection is so cute. He collects beer bottle caps, and if he could hang those from his clothes without his mom getting pissed he would totally. He often zones out and just stares at one of your patches, examining the detail and intricate lines. He starts picking up patches from here and there too, returning them to you when you ask for some. He gets a little more and more interested in patches after a while. He loves when you put the beer bottle logos on his clothes, it makes him feel tuff (oh two bit i love you) DARRY thinks its just darling that you are intereseted in patches. He tries not to bother you about your hobbies too much but he loves watching you sew on some new patches, or organize them. He lets you put tiny patches all over his roofing clothes, it makes him feel close to you. His personal favorite is the Superman logo on his jeans over his hip. He won't partake in putting on patches for a long time because he can't sew without thinking about his mother, but he'll get there. DALLAS at first thought it was a bit of a safety concern. When you two started dating, he didn't want random guys knowing what you liked, so he made sure he was always there with you. He never lets you put a patch on anything he owns, except for his jacket (if your dating long enough). He lets you put on one patch on his jacket over the sleeve, and he chose the patch. He decided on the skull and is so proud of himself (and you) because it looks so good. He secretly hinted that you get a matching one on a sleeve, but he's too shy to say it out loud.
#shroomsroom#clara'sroom#the outsiders x reader#dallas winston x reader#dally winston x reader#johnny cade x reader#steve randle x reader#sodapop curtis x reader#darrel curtis x reader#darry curtis x reader#ponyboy x reader#pony curtis x reader#ponyboy curtis x reader#two bit matthews x reader#two bit x reader#two bit mathews x reader#sodapop x reader#soda curtis x reader
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where would alastor fit into the staticbelle au, :0 ?
staticbelle au
OKAY IT REALLY DEPENDS BC!! we still don't know exactly why alastor is at the hotel! it could be because he's there on orders from someone else, or he's there to entertain himself, or to manipulate charlie for reasons unknown, or something else entirely—and the reason will really impact whether or not he'd choose to try and get involved with charlie if she was already supported by vox. a lot of his sway over the hotel comes from the fact that it was crumbling into disrepair when he arrived and he fairy godmother'd it into a somewhat functional project, therefore winning him a ton of emotional brownie points with charlie, but he wouldn't have that opportunity at all here because i really don't think there's anything he could offer charlie that vox isn't already providing (or wouldn't be willing to START providing if it meant spiting alastor).
however. presuming instead that alastor is not at the hotel to protect or look after charlie, or help her project succeed (since these would already be satisfied by vox), it'd be fascinating if instead alastor comes back after seven years and immediately antagonizes vox into losing his shit and making charlie go "ooookay! i'm gonna have to put my therapy techniques in action because vox is clearly not over his situationship." and that's how her and alastor meet. i think she knows about the alastor thing but hadn't really seen what the problem was before he came back; everyone in hell has enemies after all, and a little healthy rivalry never hurt anyone, but seeing it in action is totally different. after the third time vox plunges the city into darkness because alastor called him an insecure freak on air she's like umm. we might need to talk about this.
she's super worried about vox because she's never seen him this upset about anything before. vox is relapsing hard into his paranoid-obsessive shit that he'd worked on really hard in the seven years alastor has been away, and now it's all rushing back and threatening to ruin everything he's built—but also, his sorta girlfriend princess independent contractor person (???) is now insisting he try to "make amends" and "practice healthy emotional regulation" and "please stop brooding over your pit of sharks with a bottle of tequila i'm really nervous about you falling in and electrocuting yourself even though i know you're waterproof, come watch a movie with me instead?" and he can't decide whether he resents it or appreciates it (both. it's both).
maybe having charlie around to redirect him and encourage healthier outlets for his anger, unlike how val and vel normally handle his radio demon bullshit, DOES actually get him to calm down a little bit. maybe even enough to reluctantly agree to supervised counseling sessions with alastor, because fucking dammit charlie has gone behind his back to talk to al about repairing their broken friendship and he was so excited, vox, you should've seen him, he practically insisted on having me arrange a meeting, i think he really regrets how things ended between you two and wants to do better, please just give it a chance?? cue the worst couple's counseling session in the universe with vox stiff as a board and shaking with repressed rage in his seat while alastor sips tea demurely across from him and asks oh-so-politely how him and charlie met, and isn't this such a charming little affair, and ooh, redemption? how interesting! charlie is eating this the fuck up, overjoyed at the thought of meeting TWO overlords interested in her plan while vox can't do anything about it but seethe and fantasize about shooting alastor in the face when charlie's back is turned.
this actually sort of turns into vox feeling protective over charlie completely without meaning to, because he knows alastor isn't being genuine, he knows he has ill intentions, and vox has invested too much time and energy and honest commitment into both charlie and her dreams to let fucking alastor destroy it all by taking advantage of her desperate need for validation. only vox gets to capitalize on her daddy issues, dammit. but there's real affection there too, reluctant and uncomfortable as he is with its existence, and it's making it extremely difficult for him to handle alastor's Everything without betraying the fact that he's become emotionally compromised and isn't just looking out for his business interests.
charlie, meanwhile, thinks she's going to get to kill two birds with one stone here: she can help vox get over / assuage a broken relationship that's clearly causing him a lot of distress, and she can rope another influential overlord into endorsing her project, which prods the door open that much further for her to enact real change in hell. but alastor isn't the same kind of monster as vox, and she might be a little in over her head this time—because she just can't stop herself from having faith in people's better natures, even when every indication is pointing the other way. it's a kind of earnest and willful naivete that's like blood in the water to people like alastor and vox. at least she knows—she hopes—vox would hesitate now. she can't really say the same for al. either way, she's going to keep trying, and it's really a race between charlie's ability to infect people with soft mushy friendship emotions by double-bluffing their manipulative plots and alastor's ability to pry people open like clamshells and inflict horrifyingly intimate betrayals on them.
(hint: charlie always wins the long-game. there's only so many times you can sarcastically banter about your feelings over scones with your archrival and your girlfriend supervising before you start actually making breakthroughs and unwillingly understanding each other. charlie has weaponized "ironically committing to the bit too hard" in her favor and it works everyyy time)
#radiostaticbelle endgame? eh??#charlie morningstar#vox#alastor#staticbelle#voxlie#hazbin hotel#ask#op#charlie#radiostaticbelle
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FINISHED EPISODE 1. WHAT THE FUCK
#malevolent#WTF WTF WTFWTFRFAAAAAAA#oh my god. Oh my god#that’s the most excited i’ve been listening to like. something brand new in a LONG time#i might be just a little bit obsessed. Maybe.#HEY!!!! gives me something to do between tmagp eps and my tma relisten with my partner!!!#also i am extremely extremely normal about the scary guy. Yeah.#ARTHURRRRRRR#IM SO SORRU BUT I HAVE TO TWINKIFY YOU
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Everything inside of her being felt off in a way that she couldn’t exactly pinpoint, her head pounding in that same rhythmic motion as she blinked her heavy eyelids open. It was as if she’d stepped out of her body and hadn’t managed to fit all the way back in, leaving the entirety of her being to stand at an angle. Her memories were there, but the world they'd all happened in... wasn't. Something else had clearly taken its place, so where was she? When was she?
Jamais Vu (AO3)
Chapter 2: Home
Mu wakes up in Mafia Town— but it’s not Mafia Town anymore.
Art by @mebssann.
#HATSTACHE NATION i have NOT forgotten my roots !!!!!!#also PLEASE look at the small details of this piece im soooo obsessed with it u dont even KNOWWW#you might even recognize it from the chapter ... maybe its just another perspective? :thinking:#fics#hat kid#mustache girl#hatstache#a hat in time#jamais vu#fotiadis#<- this tag will become Sense later a little bit i promise
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WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!
#hey. hey. im just saying. he LITERALLY 'transed his gender' in a diagetic bit in orange. and if that wasnt enough.#in blue he disguised himself as squid jenny specifically with larry's powers (the only thing hes done with them on screen)#got caught by his god-assigned roles-obsessed caretaker. and was given the label of being something intrinsically unescapably deceitful.#while 'pretending' to be trans girl.#like. if i wasnt pretty sure it was all an accident i might even call the allegory here slightly heavy-handed.#with the nccts emphasizing a theme of 'youre not just what people say you are#you can be more than one thing at the same time' with crim#i think crimson can have boygirl swag. some bigender pizzazz. i think he deserves it.#is it REALLY a cpu kerfuffle arc without a subversive narratively relevant gender-transing.#am i supposed to believe the spirit of deviance himself is cis? get fucking real. grow up. /silly#also a lil crimtoinette in there. just for flavor. because i cant help myself.#also sidenote the nccts have given him this cute lil tendency#to tip his hat down to hide his face when hes trying to be Genuine or Thoughtful or Poignant. and i enjoy that little touch#i maybe like this guy a little too much. hes most of what ive drawn for months.#but what do you want from me. i read him as a queercoded villain deconstructed at the metanarrative level.#am i just supposed to be normal about that.#me and zia talked about this in dms and discovered. we came to a lot of the same conclusions. completely independently. lmao#cpuk crimson
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2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#i realized. its actually so unwell of me how i basically make the same exact interview gifs of him ever single day of a race wknd#like hes basically doing the same thing in all of them#and yet every time i still go absolutely insane iver ever one like OH YM GOD LOOK AT HIM!? ISNT HE ADORABLE?? ISNT HE THE BEST??#so uh yeah hope you too are insane like me and obsess over every little bit of footage we get#that meme 'its like a reward' literally me after every session making these#sometimes i feel the impulse to apoligize but then im like what no this is my blog i can make whatever i want#the important thing is that it makes ME feel incredibly unwell to the point of screaming#also might be because its 5 am and ive had a red bull... maybe that...#^ first gif made me in near tears due to these conditions i think. or maybe im just really that insane abt him. prob that.#'im done with his ass' i say as i make odd animal noises over a simple clip of him#the screenshots from both this and the quali interview....gahhhh im so mentally unwell#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2023 las vegas gp#we do a little bit of f1
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the ec says this and you know what. maybe kevthea makes more sense than i thought. maybe kevin himself is also a raven through and through
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#kevin day#he grew up there that mindset was drilled into his head for years#and the thing is we don't know. we do not know what goes through his head#i hate thinking about this but it would make sense. maybe i'm crying a little bit#but also this entire part of the ec is so fucking good it might actually be my favourite#it says so much about the pressure put on kevin and riko as they were growing up#it even says they kind of saved each other. because it was hell and they were in it together#but they also couldn't ever be equals#i really should stop obsessing over the ec since it was never supposed to be canon and especially now#but i've entered my kevriko era and the layers of their relationship just astound me
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i don’t normally like sharing builds because judgement Scares Me™️ but i’ve been fiddling since getting his weapon and now i’m a little overconfident and proud of him and want to share so everyone please look at my boy go😤
#baby boy baby#i give him all of my attention😤#his new build is BEGGING me to get an alternative full EM set for nahida#i NEED to see how much she’ll boost him#i use her with a hybrid build usually because her damage is just so— 👌👌👌#but i feel like he’d go SO crazy if i get her up to that 800-1000 EM range#and maybe if i switch up kuki a bit for damage instead of just healing🤔#i’m allergic to killing kuki’s healing though so probably not😤#full bonus she heals like ~5500 per tick and im obsessed with it sorry#just TRY to die with my kuki around i literally will not let you😤😤#anyway that is Him for now#im still doing a little bit of fiddling since i don’t love his attack and crit rate rn#but i might stick with this one for a bit#while i work on wanderer🤔
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.
#are we ready to have a conversation about the definition of “best goalie in the world” yet?#i'm being a bitch but i've held off on this#on the upside at least we were never shut out and we don't have to play fucking *******#to my first point this is the problem with not having a consistent league#international play is so limited that you cannot judge based on that and you cannot judge based on college#i mean tbt to last year's red stars#we should also have a conversation about how obsessed we are with shooting the puck low#and every other team has a couple of snipers#and if we sniped a little more instead of doing the fake outs we might be in a different place#im just so tired#and not to rub it in but we were never going to win the cup#like somehow every team plays their best against us#i hope erin ambrose still gets defender of the year#and i hope ******* ******* does not get 4 awards#like if you see someone coming at you 1-1 have you considered moving back in your crease a bit#i would also be interested to know if the order gets shaken up#because again if you are only playing internationally with the best defenders protecting you#then how much are you really tested#same could be said for campbell though#i maintain that montreal's biggest enemy is their brains#and he was way out of crease on a lot of these#and if you look at frankel or campbell's positioning they are never that far out#also we have to talk about the face offs being atrocious tonight#like i said i'm glad it's over#and like i said before i think i prefer the winning the league situation instead of the playoff setup#maybe minnesota pulls it out#but at the end of the day we are undefeated in regulation playoff hockey#brings me to another point which is would it not make more sense that you have to get 9 of 15 points in a playoff series#and so then the score would be 3-6 and we'd still be in it#like continue with the points system
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I think many people who refer to intrusive thoughts incorrectly as being like "oo I dyed my hair! My intrusive thoughts won today teehee" are actually thinking of *impulsive thoughts* which, while not always normal, are still distinct from intrusive thoughts
#i think of impulsive thoughts as being much more action leaning#like when you have an impulsive thought youre more likely to act quickly and think on it less#perhaps even regretting it later#and obviously this can be dangerous and harmful too just in a different way#and the only reason i make this distinction is because people with intrusive thoughts dont want to act on them#often they will think about it for hours because of how distressing the mere concept of them maybe wanting to act on it is to them#intrusive thoughts dont 'win'. you either obsess over them or forget about about them. theres no winning it just is#anyway maybe this is pedantic and seems unimportant#but as someone with often very distressing and obsessive intrusive thoughts#i can say that nothing scares me more than the idea that those thoughts will 'win'#impulsive thoughts also come from a place of desire/actually wanting to act on the thing at least a little bit#even if you havent stopped to consider that it might be a bad idea or you might regret it#its like if you think 'i want to eat a second piece of cake' and then you do even though you know this will give you a stomach ache#versus thinking 'what if i ate thumbtacks' and then being very worried that theres something wrong with you#you probably didnt *want* to eat thumbtacks. it was just a passing thought that couldn't be dismissed#i hope this makes sense at least a little bit and im not invalidating of confusing anyone
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What do you mean Legend of Korra came out 12 years ago today??
#raineyrambles#little me knew a good thing when she seen it#I literally still have a poster of the show up in my wall rn lol#also this means sometime around 14 years ago I had my first experience of being maybe just a bit too obsessed with a girl#that at the time attributed that to oh look cool powerful female character!#but a few years ago I realized that might not have just been me thinking she was cool#my making fanart and then hiding it should have been the first sign lol#especially when I normally wanted to show everyone what I would draw#legend of korra#*sometime around 12 years ago not 14
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gimme ennard!michael threads i think it’d be funny-
#i say this with extreme caution bc i have No Idea How i’d write this considering it’s like 5 entities in one#and a good bit of it would probably be at least alluding to gore#all i know is i’m obsessed w their behavior being Strange and Offputting in michael’s body DJKJF#grown man shows up wearing the most atrocious color combinations you’ve ever seen drinks straight from the carton in a grocery store and#looks you dead in the eye and says he’s ‘pretending’ wyd#anyway sorry for not being around for talking like i wanted to my energy was GONE yesterday and i have so many responsibilities today hhhhh#this week might kill me just a little bit. maybe not but i don’t have high hopes JDKDHF#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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spotify warped is out
i’m ferral
(btw i mathed it and my total minuets listened is equivalent to 207.6 days)
#i am better than everyone#i think i might like david bowie#but only a little bit#idk#maybe#i find this really amusing#i listen to music to sleep and a lot of it is just low fi beats and shit so i’m surprised that’s not on my warped#but also#i listen to some calmer bowie / maya / radiohead / kate bush to sleep but not djo#i love that he’s up there because i’m just like totally obsessed with him#i mean im obsessed with all of them and listen to them all like every day#but that just proves my loyalty#gotta beat the score next year lol#spotify#spotify warped#david bowie#maya hawke#radiohead#kate bush#djo#australia#bowie#joe keery#music#i am loyal to my music loves#i’m surprised metallica or sabbath aren’t up there because i started listening to them at the same time as kate bush and i’m obsessed#but i guess i don’t listen to them to sleep as well lol#sabbath is in my 2022 playlist though so i’ll give you that. but only like 1 song of theirs so that’s sad#it’s mostly bowie and kate bush and maya and djo and radiohead if i’m being honest#overall i’m happy. i was so nervous. but i’m pleased.
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#tag talk#watching media not in English is honestly so fun. my brain loves trying to pick out sentence structure and individual words#as someone who was obsessed with writing and learning codes as a kid it's unsurprising#I've realized that I very well could finally become multilingual and it's a really exciting thought#I just wish language learning apps didn't suck so much. I very well might have to start keeping a notebook for vocabulary#but I've been watching Puerta 7 and listening exclusively to music in Spanish for about the past week#and next year my brother and I are gonna take Spanish together at the community college once we move#cause he wants to travel internationally and maybe live abroad so language learning would be super useful#he's not as good with language as I am but that'll just mean I get to help him with it#anyway. I think I'm gonna dig out a notebook and start planning how I'm gonna do this#I really really wanna get good enough to read books and articles in Spanish. cause reading is cool and great and builds vocab#I think this is only possible now that I've been medicated for a while.#like. I wish I could have done this years ago but I accept the fact that I've been on a journey#and chasing your dreams is only possible once you're in a position to do so. my brain was too fucked before.#so external motivation was the only way I could make progress. whereas now I have the ability to internally motivate.#I can do dishes. clean my room. fold laundry. make food. and finally learn a language in my own way.#I wish language learning apps didn't fucking suck so doggamn much. they're really the worst. even as a kid I hated Rosetta Stone.#I needed to find my own way to learn and I'm still figuring it out but I will. I know I will.#I will be successful and I will chase the things I love in life and even if things go wrong I will work to improve my life#and part of that self actualization is learning the language I've grown up with and yet never learned. and then I can learn other languages#because I genuinely wanna learn a lot of languages. hell I taught myself a little bit of spoken elvish as a kid. it's in my blood I guess.#being monolingual is genuinely distressing for me tbh.#shit I should ask my sibling for book recommendations and I can buy something to start pulling vocabulary from.#for now I can pull words from songs or tv. that's a good starting point. even if I prefer the aesthetic of studying a book#except first I'm gonna fold my laundry and change my bedsheets#bye y'all
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