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mutt-victim · 4 months ago

Note

about you

1, 6, 7, 11, 14, 16, 18, 28, 29, 31, 32, 33, 34, 39, 41, 42, 43, 44, 46, 47

Masturbation

3, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 17, 23, 24, 25, 26, 39, 40, 41, 42

Relationship

8, 10, 11, 13

Porn and sex industry

3, 26, 27, 28, 30

Sex

5, 6, 12, 18, 30, 39, 54, 70, 72, 84, 86

AAAAA thank you for the ask. Ilysm

About me:

1: Size of your penis/breasts? Well my dick can be any size I choose >:3 yay strapons. Last I checked my bra size was 38DD, but I've gained some weight since then so that might not be quite right anymore

6: What type of underwear are you wearing? None ;3 it's late so I'm nakey in bed rn

7: What is your favourite type of underwear? I love some cheeky panties with a cute pattern, or just regular bikini ones. And ofc boxer briefs, so comfortable

11: Explain your ultimate fantasy. Ooo I love this question. It's so hard to choose just one as my "ultimate", especially bc my mood and even whether I feel submissive or dominant changes so often.. but I think probably my dream would be to have my dom keep me in littlespace way more <3 having a room in my apartment where I have one of those adult sized cots, cutesy wallpaper, lots of plushes and toys and childish decor, a bookshelf with cute kiddie books or some bigger books for daddy to read to me at bedtime.. having dad brush my hair and help me put it up, picking out sweet outfits for me, helping me cook, making me hold his hand when we go out and cross the street and stuff.. just really getting to be his lil boy.. <3 I realize this didn't even get sexual LOL I assure you there would be plenty of that too. But yeah just... i long to be baby. Lmao

14: What is the strangest thing you've ever been turned on by? I'm into guro so... it gets weird fast haha

16: Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone? Tons, just last night I sent a bunch of pics and videos of me fucking myself to my partner >w<

18: Have you ever posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude on the internet? A few! Just a few days ago I posted one here, mostly of my ass heheh

28: Have you ever told someone that you fantasised about them? Yes~

29: Do you have a favourite person or few people to fantasise about? Oh absolutely my partner. Other than that, hmm.. if I have a crush usually they creep into my thoughts. But generally it's mostly my partner and some other nameless faceless person if I'm in the mood to be tag-teamed~

31: Have you ever showered with someone? Yes, I love it a lot! Not even sexually (shower sex kindof sucks), I just think it's so intimate.. getting to wash someone else... very sweet

32: Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone? Yeaaaah, like, sometimes shortly after meeting them LMAO. I'm a flirt /)w(\

33: Are you open about your sex life and sexuality? Sexuality yes, my sex life... less so. My best friends know most of my kinks and such, but there's just a lot of stigma around a lot of kinks... So I get nervous to share..

34: Do you orgasm easily? I would say yes but, none of my past partners were ever able to do it by themself... so I don't know

39: Do you shave your pubic hair? Sometimes! I'm a bush lover but sometimes I feel more confident and comfortable shaved, especially because I can show off my tdick more easily that way~ I just shaved yesterday so I'm super smooth right now

41: Do you prefer clean shaven or unkempt? Oh, definitely unshaven. Don't mind if trimmed or not, but I'm not reaaally a fan of my partners being clean shaven

42: Favourite type of underwear on others? Oh I'm crazy about panties on people who don't usually wear them. They usually get shy and blushy, and I think everyone's ass looks great in panties~ otherwise anything with a cute pattern idk :3

43: Do you own any lingerie? A couple pieces! I used to own more, but I find a lot of it uncomfortable and/or cheaply made.. and sometimes it just adds to me feeling dysphoric :<

44: How much lingerie do you own? I think I have an old maid costume kicking around somewhere, and some pairs of panties+bras with cutouts~

46: Do you like the way your genitals look? Well. As a trans person, not especially ! Would really love a whole different setup if I'm honest. But objectively, I think my pussy is cute enough.. ?

47: Are you comfortable naked? Yesss I love it. Super cozy. I always sleep nakey

Masturbation

3: How often do you masturbate? Nearly once a day

7: What was the last thing you thought of or masturbated to? Some cute snuff puppy petplay fantasy~ having my partner pulling on my collar so hard that I can't breathe, telling me that I'll make for a cute dead mutt~

8: Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating? I've definitely heard some of my past roommates. Also, once when I was a teenager and sharing a bed with a friend who stayed the night, I woke up to him getting off beside me

9: Has someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating? Ugh my parents walked in on me a few times

14: Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate? A lot quieter than I am during sex, but I'm still definitely noisy. Whiny, moaning my partner's name (even when he isn't there..), sometimes I cry a lil bit >w< I'm a crybaby

15: Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online? I haven't cammed before so not live in a public way, but definitely over a private video call. My partner lives far away sooo we make do <3

16: Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person? Yes, but I get really shy if they aren't participating..

17: Have you ever masturbated with someone (mutual masturbating)? Yes! But I'm touchy feely clingy so it's hard to keep my hands to myself...

23: What's your most embarassing masturbation story? Other than being walked in on... okay so I've been into omorashi for a long time.. and once, when I was a teenager.. it was one of my first times trying to hold for a long time while edging myself through my clothes... And I couldn't hold it anymore so I tried to run to the bathroom. Ended up tripping over something in the restroom, falling into the bathtub on my way down. Hit my knee REALLY badly, also tried to catch myself on a shelf and ended up slicing my hand on the corner. So there I was, bleedin, aching, fallen into my bath.. and then I wet myself :( wasn't worth it, didn't cum, knee was bruised for a month

24: Whats your funniest masturbation story? Honestly probably the previous story. Lol

25: Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate? Yea, when I was younger I had this loonng bubble wand tube thinggy that I would fuck my ass with~

26: Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it? It's pretty easy, especially with the help of a vibrator. It was a lot more difficult back when I was on other medications but not anymore 😎

39: How often do you usually last? Hmmm solo probably 15ish minutes? Or less? I'm not good at telling time haha

40: What's the quickest you've ever orgasmed? Roughly a minute, took it as a challenge to get off in the time it took my roommate to take the trash out haha

41: What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Definitely more than two hours, possibly around 3. Idk I'm not big on edging

42: What's the most amount of times you've cum in a day? 4 I think, but it's been a long time haha

Relationships

8: What do you look for in a hookup? I've personally only hooked up with friends, and honestly I don't see that changing. I like to know and trust a person first c:

10: Have you ever been a booty call? Eeyup!

11: Have you ever had a booty call? Nope

13: Have you ever had a friend with benefits? A few :3

Porn and Sex Industry

3: What is your favourite catagory? Bears probably, or throatfucking. Love bisexual threesomes and prostate orgasms too.. or furry stuff.. or rape stuff if I'm watching hentai

26: Have you ever tried to recreate a scene? Hmm no not that I remember

27: Have you ever used porn to show a partner what you like/want? Hmm my partner and I send eachother porn sometimes but not in an instructional way haha moreso "this made me think of you" or "this is hot and I think you'd like it"

28: Has a partner ever shown you porn to show you what they want/like? Nope

30: Have you considered getting into porn? YES. I've always wanted to... but I know I need to work on my body before that's an option.

Sex

5: How many sexual partners have you had? Depending on how you qualify it, 9

6: Who was your best sex partner? Hmm well my current partner certainly seems like he'd be best <3 but alas, the long distance has kept us from finding out :< ummmm without naming names, as a teen, after a crummy partner and I broke up, I hooked up with his best friend (who was also a very close friend of mine) and that was pretty great.

12: Do you have any friends you'd hook up with? Yes c: and friends I have hooked up with before

18: What is your favourite position? Love missionary, I really like making out during sex. Mating press and doggystyle are both so great though

30: What's the strangest place you've had sex/oral? Hmm nowhere super weird I don't think. Maybe in the bed of a truck while camping?

39: Can other people get you off? I'd like to think so >:/

54: Do you ever take pictures or videos while you have sex? Yesss, being recorded is a huge turn-on of mine~

70: Have you ever gone into public with hickies? Yes! I love to be marked, and leave super obvious marks on others.

72: Would you like to have a threesome? I have before c: but I'd like to again I think

84: Where is your favourite place to receive cum? Either in my mouth or a creampie~ as long as it's inside me, I'm happy :3

86: Do you listen to music while you have sex? What kind? My partner and I have a playlist! It's a lil emo, lil bit of pop, some edm.. as long as the vibes are horny haha

#thank you again for the asks!! omg #feel free to send more <3 #i hope i didnt miss any!

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lab-trash · 7 months ago

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Today is mother's day and I got my dad a present. Multiple actually.

For background, my mom doesn't live with us. She moved out in 2021 and she moved back in with her parents just a couple months ago. She was neglectful when she did live here and I can't remember a single promise she ever kept.

My dad took over her (tiny amount of) responsibilities when she left and I think it made me appreciate him more. My dad wasn't there a ton when I was a kid, but that was because he had a job that required a 45 minute commute, and it's not like he was gonna get anything better to support our 8-member family. My dad has always tried his best.

(Fun fact: The day I bought a #1 Dad Mug at a thrift shop that matched my mom's very unique #1 Mom Mug was the same day my mom's mug broke. Talk about symbolism.)

In October he took in a homeless trans kid that my sister's partner was friends with. Both that kid and my sisters partner are going to be in our family pictures this coming Thursday.

At Walmart, I saw a pillow that said "mama bear" on it. And immediately I was like, I have to get this for my dad. For context, my dad is a bigger man with a big beard and long hair. He's a bear. He's also greygender and pretty much only uses his agab terms because, well, he's 45 and it doesn't really matter to him.

After seeing that pillow, I decided I didn't want to just do that. I got him a cuticle remover (he was talking about how he enjoyed it), some new hair things and hair clips (again, long hair), some oatmeal cookies that I know he likes, dark chocolate peanutbutter doves, and some liquid death, which we'd recently had a laugh over the existence of before promptly realising its actually really good. Lastly, a peanuts card that I picked up last minute.

I had to fit everything into a box from work so he wouldn't see anything and I brought it home under the pretense that my coworker had given me some miscellaneous items while decluttering. I brought it into my room, set everything up and put it behind my door.

I went around and had everyone sign it, only barely managing to get my sister before she left for work (unfortunately her partner left earlier than we anticipated, so I couldn't get them to sign the card) and I put everything into this tall bag with a unicorn on it. It was one of the only bags that was big enough to fit everything, and I just thought it was so perfect.

I was also planning on giving him a painting I did in middle school of the northern lights— I have all of my paintings from middle school tucked away on my bookshelf— but I couldn't find it.

I had to go to the store with him when he picked up my sister, so I couldn't just wait for him to get home. I had to wait til he went out to the van, sprint upstairs, grab this bag that's easily 15 pounds because of the liquid death, rush back downstairs, hide it between our couches, rush out to the van, then rush back inside when we got home and set it up on a couch for him to open.

It went over really well, which was something i was worried about right at the end there, since he'd asked me and my sister if we told our mom happy mothers day. I hadn't, but my sister had. They were talking about it when they entered and I beckoned dad into the living room for his mother's day gift.

Overall, I spent about $60 on the gift. And I don't regret it. One of the biggest things of note with my mom was that whenever we celebrated mother's day, I would always try to put effort into it to make her happy. And it was never... really appreciated. I remember one year I got this sort of clear trophy-wine glass thingy and put some chocolate in it, and I had all of her kids sign the lid. She didn't take it when she left. It was sitting in our kitchen (with half of our deadnames on it, might I add) until a few months ago. If she'd left it in dad's room, I think it'd be less hurtful, but she left it on the microwave cart where we all saw it every day. Mocking us both with our deadnames and our failure of a gift.

Buying for my dad wasn't like that. I know even if I fucked up one of the items, he'd enjoy even the existence of it at all. I could've just bought the card or just the pillow and he would've been happy. But I didn't, almost because of that fact. My dad would be happy with less, so he deserved more.

#happy mothers day #my dad #long post sorry #ill probably post this on reddit once i get my laptop in order #but i wanted to post it on mothers day #so here it is

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sunnyie-eve · 1 year ago

Text

8 | Chamber of Secrets

Series: Little Things

Paring: Mattheo Riddle x OFC Potter!

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Might be a few mistakes

| MASTERLIST |

For detention with Professor Snape, he has me just clean up the classroom so it was nothing too hard or boring really. "Professor, why didn't you send me home on the first day?" I asks fixing the bookshelf.

"Thought I give you a second chance. You are the top student in Slytherin." He says working at his desk.

"Did you know my mother while you attended here?" I ask curious because I wanted to know what she was like.

"I met your mother before we started school here." He says not wanting to talk about her.

"Really?" I make my way to his desk.

"I was the first person to tell her she was a witch, and went on to teach her about the wizarding world." I was amused to hear that.

"Where you friends with her?" I ask making him just look at me.

"Until our fifth year till I messed up our friendship. Your father was a pathetic bully to me and one day your mother stood up for me but I was annoyed. I called her a filthy Mudblood and that was it. Now, no more questions. Detention is over, leave and go to your dormitory." I nod my head walking towards the door. "You resemble her so much you know." He says making me turn around.

"I've been told by my Aunt Petunia. Harry and I have a picture of our parents so I can see it too. I'll be going now." I look down at the floor leaving his classroom.

"Oh, found you." Theo laughs bumping into me.

"Why are you looking for me?" I ask him.

"To calm down your best friend. He's talking about punching Draco because he was talking crap about you again. Don't worry, Enzo is trying to keep him from going off." I groan following him and we find the two in the hall.

"Look there she is so can you stop now?" Lorenzo shoves him towards me.

"Didn't you tell me it's not worth it?" I cross my arms annoyed with him.

"Yeah, you but I didn't say that for myself." He gets sassy with me.

"No, you didn't but I told you in the past too it's not worth it." I hit his chest.

"I don't care if you told me. If he talks bad about you, I'm going to do something." He goes to walk past me so I grab him stopping him.

"No you will not! Wanna know why? Because I said no! And when I say no you will listen to me." I shout at him and he gets quiet.

"Ha, she told you." Theo chuckles making me turn to him.

"Theodore, do you want to piss me off more?" I glare at him.

"No, no ma'am." He shuts up too. I look over at Enzo to see if he understood me too and he puts his hands up in defense.

"What's going on up ahead?" Lorenzo asks as we see students stopped ahead so we join moving to the front.

"Enemies of the Heir, beware." Draco reads the blood on the wall. "You'll be next Mudbloods." He adds making me slap him in the back of the head.

"Hey, hey." Mattheo moves me away from him before he could do or say anything.

Flitch comes forward and sees his cat thinking Harry killed his cat. "Everyone will proceed to their dormitories immediately. Everyone except... you three and you two." Dumbledore tells Harry, Ron, Hermione, me and Mattheo.

Dumbledore tells Flitch that the cat is petrified and not dead but can't say how. Flitch blames Harry and Harry tells him he didn't do it. "Prohibits Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time." Snape tells Dumbledore. The three explain what and where they were so Mattheo and we were confused why he kept us back.

"Well Miss Potter was with me for detention and I just sent her to her dorm." Snape tells Dumbledore.

"And on the way there I bumped into Theo who took me wit Mattheo and Enzo waiting for me." I tell them.

"It's true." Mattheo gives Dumbledore a look.

They both just look at each other. "In the meantime, I strongly recommend caution... to all." We all leave.

"Why was he looking at you like you did it?" I ask Mattheo as we head to our dorm.

"Remember I said it was hard to get me... It's because he's scared I'll end up like my parents. Mostly my father. I guess he maybe thinks I did it." He sighs as I say our password.

"Well I know you didn't. You were with the guys. Night Matty."

I arrive in McGonagall's classroom first out of all the students alone because I left early today. Soon I hear Draco and his two minions walk in talking crap about other students. No shocker there. "Where is your boyfriend?" Draco snickers.

"I don't have a boyfriend, Malfoy." I sigh because it was too early for this.

"Really? I get it because who would like you." The three laugh at me.

"Apparently you from what I hear Theo tell Mattheo as I was talking to the girls." I get him to go dead silent.

"Why would he make up a lie like that?" He rolls his eyes. "I mean, me like you? Never. How could I possible? A Potter. Potter's sister. Yeah, no." He keeps going me making me roll my eyes now.

"Draco, if it only a lie... you wouldn't try so hard to defend yourself. You would just say, yeah sure, and drop it but you aren't." That makes him drop it.

"Today, we will be turning animals into water goblets." She taps the bird in front of her, three times, with the tip of her wand. It transfigures into a beautiful crystal water goblet. "Now, who would like to go first... Mr. Weasley?" Ron nods and taps his rat, Scabbers, who turns into a goblet with a tail. "You must replace that wand, Mr. Weasley." Ron nods sheepishly, looking at his broken wand. "Yes, Miss Granger?" Hermione's hand was up.

"Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about the Chamber of Secrets?" A hush falls over the class.

"My subject is Transfiguration, Miss Granger." She tells her.

"Yes, Professor. But there seems to be very little written about the Chamber of Secrets. For those of us with a personal interest in the subject, that is... disturbing." Malfoy regards Hermione with chilly amusement.

McGonagall considers Hermione's question for a long moment, then nods. "Very well. You all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Three of the founders co-existed quite harmoniously. One did not. Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed that magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. In other words, purebloods. Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school."

"Muggle borns." Hermione says after McGonagall explains that he saw purebloods better and the monster killed those not.

"Well, naturally, the school has been searched many times for such a chamber. It has never been found" McGonagall tells her.

"Professor, what exactly does legend tell us lies within the Chamber?" I ask her.

"The Chamber is said to be home to something which the heir of Slytherin alone can control. It is said to be home... to a monster."

After class the girls were asking do we think it's true that there is a Chamber of Secrets. "Couldn't you tell that all the teachers are worried." I tell them.

"So that means it's been open but by who?" Willow asks.

"Someone who hates Muggle borns." Sienna adds.

"You know how many Slytherin's that do?" I look at her.

"It could be Malfoy." Mattheo speaks.

"Malfoy the Heir of Slytherin?" I laugh.

"Changing the topic. Who do you think will win today's match?" Sienna asks.

"I don't think Draco is a better Seeker that's Harry." Mattheo says before we turn the corner.

"Mr. Riddle, Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with you." Snape comes up to us. Mattheo nods his head and leaves with Snape.

"What did he do?" Willow looks at me.

"I don't know. He hasn't done anything." I shrug my shoulders worried about him.

Right before the Quidditch match Mattheo rejoins us quietly. "What happened?" I ask him but he says nothing. "He still thinks it's you?" I whisper. Mattheo looks at me then takes me by the hand leading us away from the Quidditch field. "Mattheo, where are we going?" I ask as he keeps dragging me away.

"Away from people." He takes us all the by the Black Lake.

"Mattheo Riddle." I groan as we finally stop.

"He's keeping a close eye on me because... because my-my father." He just sighs. "My father was the Heir of Slytherin." He lets out shocking me. "And..." He cuts me off.

"Dumbledore is nervous that I could be now too." He sits down on the ground. "But we both know you aren't. You are never alone to do anything." I join him on the ground.

"I know but I wish he would trust me." He looks out at the lake.

"It should matter that I do." I link my arm with his resting my head on his shoulder.

"It does trust me. If I care about anyone trusting me, it's you." He grabs my hand squeezing it.

"Hey, I'm your girl remember." I lift my head up to some at him. "You know something that just hit me... You're related to Malfoy. He's your cousin." I laugh.

"Shut up. He's not to know and I don't wanna be connected to him like that." We both just end up sitting and talking by the lake till we saw the sun start to go down.

"Hey, Matty?" I say as we laid on our backs looking at the dark sky.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to reassure you that you're my favorite person, and I seriously mean that." I turn my head to look at him. He gives me a smile taking my hand into his.

"There you are! Harry is in the hospital wing. He broke his arm during the match." Hermione jogs up to us causing us to sit up.

"Really? Thanks for letting me know. You stay with someone so he can trust you." I tell Mattheo leaving to go see Harry. "Did you win at least?" I laugh walking over to Harry once I get to him.

"Yes, I caught the snitch. My arm was broken but then Lockhart tried to fix it making it worse." He sits up.

"How did he make it worse?" I sit down on his bed.

"He got rid of my bones. So now my bones are growing back. It's pretty painful." Harry explains to me.

"Got rid of your BONES! How in Merlin does that happen? You know Lockhart isn't the best Wizard." I shake my head and he agrees.

"Where were you during the game?" Harry asks me.

"With Mattheo by the lake talking." I keep it short. "I shouldn't be here too long. I'm trying to help Mattheo out." I stand up.

"You have a crush on him don't you?" Harry laughs as I start to leave.

"He's my best friend, Harry." I give him a look.

"That you like." He smiles as I leave.

"Again? You mean the Chamber of Secrets has been opened before?" Hermione says once Harry explains to us everything he heard in the hospital.

"Of course. Don't you see? Lucius Malfoy must have opened it when he was at school here, and now he's taught Draco how to do it." Ron tells us but I keep my mouth shut.

Whatever me and Mattheo talk about is to stay only between us. Hermione tells them they just have to wait for the Polyjuice Potion which makes Ron asks why are we brewing it in the middle of the day in the girls bathroom.

"No one ever comes in here." I tell him.

"Why?" He asks.

"Moaning Myrtle." Hermione tells him.

"Who?" He asks and she pops out from a stall.

"Moaning Myrtle." We say looking at her.

"Who's Moaning Myrtle?" He asks us.

"I'm Moaning Myrtle!" She shouts at him then rants whining.

"She's a little sensitive." I tell him.

"Hazel, you really know nothing about if Malfoy is the Heir of Slytherin?" Ron asks me.

"I don't but I don't think he is. I'm sure he would brag to the guys about it." I tell the the truth.

"He doesn't talk to you?" He ask.

"We aren't on the best terms." I give him a look.

"Your friends know nothing?" He asks.

"Ron, we are split groups at the moment since Theodore, Lorenzo, and Mattheo said they have my back against him." I stand up from the floor. "I'll see you three at the dueling thing later." I leave the bathroom.

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sophierequests · 2 years ago

Note

Okay I lied. Here's one more because I can't help myself with these wonderful asks for this event. Bear with me please. <3

🌷 not a ghost but with a little twist

I don't know if this is allowed (but since you said I'm loki in your cym ask, I might as well act like it👀) - I don't write fics but I do give reviews, so I was thinking to link my favourite Sirius Black fic written by a really good friend here. It's worth it I promise.

@bookshelf-dust is worth the hype and I want to talk to you about Sirius Black of course

A masterpiece - here you go

If you're okay with this if course<33

reading + reacting to other writers' fics // love and mandrakes - sirius black

a little twist 👀 i like that

honestly, i don't care whether it's your own fic or not, because just reading other people's work makes me happy <3

live reaction:

i’m already a sucker for a fic that happens during herbology class, you you got me there

i love professor sprout omg

i would be so sad if i killed a plant in her class istg

there he is!! my boy!! always with the theatrical entrance, as he should!! i love him too!!

i would kill to be in professor sprout’s class

i see what you’re trying to do mr. black

now i can’t get the picture of remus piercing a shitfaced siruis in the middle of break while regulus stands there and watches

i’m imagining remus tossing sanitizing cloths at sirius whenever it is time to clean the piercing

wow, you just summarized my entire time at high school when it came to group projects

i love sirius

did i already mention that?

he’s just great

and an ass, but in a good way

teamwork makes the dream work ohooo

simp sirius is the best sirius

queen mention queen mention queen mention-

OMG A LITTLE SHOP OF HORROS REFERENCE IM STFFGHGSDSHJ GOING FERAL

sirius would fucking love a little shop of horrors

(also, the big brain move of using a musical that features

teasing = flirting

CO-PARENTING A MANDRAKE OMFG I AM UNWELL

GENIUS

the mandrake is a child of divorce send tweet

forest green is my favourite colour omg

REMUS MY FAVOURITE BOY THERE YOU ARE

oh i can already tell everything that relates to remus is going to be my favourite part

early retirement i am crying

remus being overdramatic

he’s just like me fr

we love to see it

bisexual sirius confirmed

remus is so done with them hjgsdlzg

i love him

help their banter makes my day

wolfstar besties, my heart <3

“look at this fucker” SIRIUS THAT’S YOUR CHILD

friend ;))))

simp sirius part i lost count

remussssss <333

now both are just simping huh

being reading besties with remus is all i want in life

reading with sirius would be so chaotic oh god

attention starved is sirius’ only mood

AHHHHH PLAYING WITH HIS HAIR I AM SGKSGTSSGSLU

oh god i loved it!!

my favourite lines:

She’s been briefed on what his home life is like, too, and who he has to put up with. And since she was a young girl, Pomona has been determined to give everyone a fair chance.

→ i teared up a bit

“I was prohibited,” he says, pressing a scandalized hand to his chest. “Remus did it for me over break, while my brother played nurse.”

“And for the record,” he adds, “Remus was very strict with my cleaning regimen, so I did not get any infections if that’s what you’ve been contemplating.”

→ this is canon

"Feed her, Seymour," you say, and Sirius whips his head towards you.

→ the impact this line had on me is astronomical

“I’ve realized we’re co-parenting a Mandrake,” he starts, “and I feel as though I should at least know a little something about the mother of my child.” You raise your eyebrows at him. “You know, to ensure that they don’t grow up lacking proper guardianship.”

“First, you don’t want to be friends, and now, you want our child to be one of divorce.”

“Sirius, we haven’t even been married.”

He presses his forehead against the stone next to you, and you turn to look at him. “I’m pretty sure there are a good bit of people who’ve been married and know less about each other than we do,” he says.

→ this whole part had me screaming

“I don’t come to class one day, and you’ve made a new friend? Why couldn’t you have made a new one any other day? I think I need some time off. Maybe even early retirement.”

“It’s rude to abuse the wounded.”

→ remus is my baby, i love him

“You say that as if I won’t do it.”

James sits up, but only enough so that he may rearrange himself into a poorly structured child’s pose. “Stop being such fucking tease and do it then, babe.”

→ is this queerness i smell

“See? Look at this fucker. My child.” Sirius gestures dramatically at the potted plant. Remus leans up against one of the tables, only slightly amused, much more out of breath.

→ a plus parenting sirius

“You whined about me making new friends,” Sirius says, “so that I’d leave you alone, and now you’ve taken it upon yourself to steal said friend from me?”

→ dkjsksgl

“I want you to play with my hair,” Sirius says.

→ deceased, dead, i died

final review:

this was so so good omg!! the pining, the flirting, the co-parenting??? i loved everything about this you have no idea. i may not be the biggest marauders stan to ever exist and i’m more of a moony type of person, but i love pads so much <333 he is baby <333 i also have to say that this did not read like a 5k fic, i was genuinely surprised how quickly this was over.

→ to my event post!

#— the garden celebration #— sylvia 🪐#sirius x reader

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marvellousstawler · 1 year ago

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Mon 9 Oct

Welcome to the special post-PAXAus edition of...my journal, I guess? I'm going to start with one of my takeaways from a panel I attended featuring Erika Ishii. I was struck with the honesty of their advice to the audience, a sort of honesty usually eschewed in panels like these in favour of a pristine optimism to inspire hope in the audience. She outlined it this way: getting to do the thing you love as a career is a fusion of hard work/persistent effort toward that thing, and right-place-right-time-right-person opportunity. So, no matter what career you have (or do not have), ALWAYS do the thing you love whenever you get a chance. Because you need to be ready for when those opportunities present themselves, even if they never will. I personally found that very inspiring, given how much of my time and energy I now have to spend on my Big Girl Job(tm).

But, to add to her advice, I think there was something Ishii missed an opportunity to address in their panel; your passion shouldn't come at the cost of you. If you have a job or something else that takes all the energy out of you, it's no good putting even more pressure on yourself to get art/writing/whatever done if it's just going to burn you out. One thing that I'm very happy that she emphasised is this: it's more than okay, to be JUST ok at things! More people should let themselves be just ok at things.

Art My past self was right in her prediction of my current self -- I am indeed the owner of a wonderfully shitty Flame Emperor Mask, and I'm pleased to report that it is just as janky, creepy and inconvenient to both wear and carry as could be expected of a first-time cosplay-maker. I met many extremely talented cosplayers at PAX; it ain't easy and it ain't cheap; mad respect. It was a surreal experience, taking (as they say in D&D) a level of exhaustion, just to complete an item to wear for one day (in case you're wondering what inspired me to provide the soapbox paragraph above this one). Even so, it is now proudly displayed on my bookshelf, well worth doing just to try something new and do something fun. Let me know in the replies if you'd like to see it. I *might* still have some time this evening to work on my cool D&D characters picture (working title is 'Sisters In Moons') now that I've completed the mask, but actually my priority this evening is to catch up on rest. PAXing is taxing.

Writing So much Mittelfranks brainrot I literally opened Google Docs on my phone to work on it during my lunchbreak, which given I usually need a nice quiet comfy space with a desk and computer to do any work, is very unlike me. Where's all this motivation for my other projects! Still, only writing for 5 minutes at a time whenever I get a chance to open my phone, while perfectly respectable, hasn't actually yielded a great many words, this week. The only other thing I worked on was one of two D&D-related projects (one for each character/campaign I'm in atm), where I attempt to make notes about every NPC we've met and their factions, using the style and cadence of the character I'm playing. I don't believe I'll be able to write either of them as quickly as new NPCs get introduced, but gosh darn if I ain't gonna try.

Reading I have not had much opportunity to read this week. I usually read on the train, and these past days I have just been too tired to do anything but stare out the window. I did, however, on the way home from the end of PAX, get the sudden resolve to purge my room of the "excess" books I've accrued throughout my life, either from gift-givers who wished plenty but knew little, or a Past Self trying to shape herself into something that she would never be. I have no issue keeping books of childhood significance in this room, with the expectation that they will remain here when I move out, but everything that is no longer providing positive energy, even if it's just neutral energy, should be brought to a better home. It would be unethical to let those books remain here, where they can't be at their most loved!

Thaaaaaaaat said I'm not likely to get a free weekend any time soon...

Don't forget to vote.

#journal #marvomakesathing #creative writing #writeblr #cosplay #pax aus #writing #art #books and reading #bookblr #writers of tumblr #soapbox #advice

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summoning-potema · 1 year ago

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still simming and i'm almost done furnishing addie's massive farm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i added lighting outside :) it looks great in build mode so i'm excited to see it in game when the sun goes down!

more below, with lots of indoor shots too ~

here's a couple more of the outside lighting! it's so dreamy. I love it. there are firefly spots all around the place so i'm really hoping this becomes magical at night!

onto the inside! It's a massive goddamn house it's taking forever. everybody has their own room though and there's plenty of room for activities and skills :)

anyway here's the house. the first pictures are of the living/kitchen area. this is the "modern" living area - a couple walls were torn down to make it an open floor plan as u do in old farmhouses. I'm going for heavy clutter, some old things, some new, and lots of houseplants everywhere. poppy is invisible in that plaid purple rug on the floor lol. build mode babies...

do u see Shane's hot sauce shelf? :) i still have to clutter up some shelves and the dining table and decide if I want the wood walls or not. I also wanna put family pictures up! so I'm leaving empty walls compared to other parts of the house.

Marnie's room is up next since she wanted some screentime, as u can see, her standing eerily behind the couch

Marnie is in one of the rooms with the original wallpaper. I might add a little grime to tell that story. isn't it so cute?!? i love this set so much i've been abusing it in this house - the wallpaper and paintings are from that set. She does the laundry in this house so there's a spot for her to watch her soaps while she folds clothes. her 'grandkids' make her things so she keeps them in here :) She's picking up crossstitching too.

Addie and Shane's room is a weird shape, i could not figure out the layout to this house and their room suffered for it lol. but the little hallway is a kinda walk in closet... Shane doesn't have a ton of stuff, except that one bookshelf and whatever clothes he has. One of his couches from his old apartment is in the basement. The rest is all Addie - she's a packrat, and i like her having clutter everywhere, including the walls. She has her more tame witchy things in her bedroom - tarot cards on the fireplace by her grandma's ashes, her book of shadows and mandala board on her dresser. I don't have my own posters made but let's pretend one of the ones in the corner is for nolan's band :p. Poppy is still small so her stuff is crammed in here for now, but she does have her own room. As you can see, no unsavory things in this room, don't snoop.

This is their little bathroom - the shower is to the right but u can't see. there's also a little ladder in here to the attic, which i just started furnishing 😇

The hallway on the upper floor is a little playroom area. I think it's cute :) the floral couch is from Marnie's house! In the far corner is where Jas does her homework.

this is Deli's room! a little bare on the walls so i'm working on that. but he has a pet rat ;___; and he likes voidcritters. wonder who he takes after

and here's Poppy's room - it's very small but works for a baby.

Jas' room is still in progress - I had it nice in my old save so ive got to save it from there and paste it in the next time i load the game.

Lastly... the 70s basement...

The stairwell is claustrophobia-inducing, i hope u can tell by the first pic. but u go downstairs and it's a blast from the past. lots of hand me down furniture including shane's old couch and ping pong table. this is also where i put the big kid play items that would be cute elsewhere if they didn't take so much space!! deli's dollhouse was supposed to be in his room but i could not get it to work in there :(

The last pic in that set is their brewing room. the beer machine was embarrased i came in to see him. I want it to be their pantry too - i'm hoping i can find a cc pack for basement pantries/homestead pantries. I'll even take disaster shelter pantries. the vibes need to be unhinged in here ok

I almost forgot, the never-remodelled bathroom

per custom i'll leave u a few parting misc pics. jas :)

marnie ignoring her nephew. she's busy!!! (this was from we're-all-in-the-living-room phase of this house lol)

and lastly, surprise! i have to find another metal band that could pass as a name for a baby (non canonical ass baby. i can name u whatever i want). this was an accident lol i forgot to re-enable her birth control after she had poppy ;_; and ya i can just use master controller to zap that baby gone, but both her and shane are happy about it and she is constantly rolling 'try for baby' wants. so u know what? here's ur baby have fun.

hope u enjoy lol. i obviously am :D eat sleep sims repeat amiright gamers

#sims crap #my sims crap #long post #like under the cut. i am so serious.

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sunnypsychopath-blog · 2 years ago

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The chair metaphor

It's not mine, I've just heard it, but I wanted to share, because it's splendid.

So, imagine that the goal of your life in society is to build a chair. Everyone's building one.

Some get parts for ye ol' standard IKEA chairs with full instructions. Some have some luxury chairs passed down from generations. Some get nothing and have to scrape for stools and bits and pieces. Some get non-standard chairs, like a car chair or an armchair, and they are looked at weirdly, but a chair's a chair, right?

So imagine you're getting parts, you're building that chair that everyone expects of you... when you start to realise that the parts you have are not parts of a chair at all.

Faced with that, you have some choices. You can bend and break those parts, like a horrible display of DIWhy worthy of 5minutescrafts, making it a chair against what it is. You'll be unhappy, trapped in that rigid contraption you've made a chair, sitting in a throne of bleeding wood, but at least it'll be a chair. Sitting there might kill you, like a death by a thousand cuts, and you might find that whatever appliance it was supposed to be, now it can't do its job. You have a chair, yes. It's killing you with every second, but at least you have one. You're just like everybody else.

Others don't - or can't - adhere to these rules and instead, sneakily, slowly build whatever they have. Maybe they don't know how to cut wood, or they've missed some of the instructions on how a chair is supposed to look, but they're stubbornly building whatever they got, hoping that in the end it'll turn out to be a chair.

Imagine you're working on this "chair", but with each part it's more and more clear it's not a chair at all. You're putting final touches on it, and get comments at how weird your chair is. Everyone's supposed to have a chair, so you can't have anything else, right?

So you're faced with a choice again. You look at your table, or bookshelf, or computer, or treasure chest, or whatever that is, and you can either pretend it's a chair or come clean.

And it's hard, since there's the pressure. Everyone expects a chair from you. So you grit your teeth, and you smile, and you say "Look at my chair! Isn't it awesome?" while sitting on an aquarium. "Can't you see I'm a person just like you, I have my chair here, everything's fine!" as you bounce on an inflatable ball. "Sure, my chair is kinda weird, but you can accept me, right?" you're trying to hide the desperation in your voice, because they might realise at any moment that it's not a chair at all. But they don't. They're so used to their chairs that they never thought that anyone could have anything else.

And there's the well-meaning people, who nod and say "that looks uncomfortable... Maybe you should change your armrests to better ones?" and they think they understand - after all their armrests were uncomfortable also before they switched theirs. But what they cannot comprehend is that you can't switch armrests on a bookshelf. "If you don't like it, maybe you can add a couple pillows?" "thanks," you say, "I'll get to it." you say, while knowing that no pillows will work on a bouncy ball.

And there comes a moment in your life when you've got enough pretending. When you start to understand that others don't understand you. Maybe you've met some people who unapologetically have their picture frames on display on their shelves. Maybe you've met people who ride around wildly on a skateboard or you can see someone just like you - a person with an aquarium, feeding the fish with a smile while your tank stands empty, and you start to understand that the "chair" is not the only thing that exists. There's more out there.

At this point you climb down that uncomfortable perch, look at your furniture and start using it the way it was supposed to be. You start to understand what it means.

You start to understand yourself.

And when a person with an actual chair comes along, takes a good, long look at your bookshelf that has filled with your favourite novels or your bed with freshly washed sheets, or your aquarium full of fish and asks "are you sure you're doing this right?"

You just smile, and say: "Of course. Just look at my chair."

It's perfect.

I got a bookshelf. What do you guys have?

#I have a bookshelf #lgbtq #lgbtqiia+#neurodiversity #neurodivergencies #weirdness #eccentric #metaphor #expectations

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roxannarambles · 2 years ago

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title: second chances (chapter four)

ship: goldenlight (luz x hunter)

notes: short chapter this time but next chapter will be longer (& sooner) to make up for it!

other notes: takes place sometime after ‘reaching out’ but before ‘hollow mind.’ (set in my standard canon-divergent AU where everything’s the same except no L*mity)

other chapters: chapter one chapter two chapter three

The next day, Hunter went through his morning routine as usual; shower, get dressed, go over his schedule, feed Flapjack.

He was double-checking the schedule at his desk and reaching into his drawer for one of the vials of energy potions he kept there, which he took each morning, when the memories of last night's conversation came back to him. He scowled.

But then he hesitated, gazing at the little green vial. He turned it in his hand, pondering. Flapjack tilted his little head and gave him a curious look.

With an annoyed grunt, he opened the drawer again and chucked the vial back inside, swinging the drawer shut.

As he finished up, adjusting his cape in the mirror and mentally planning on sneaking some fruit from the cafeteria for Flapjack, he wondered if he should send a message to Luz. They kinda-sorta argued last night, and he didn't know if she was still annoyed with him. He didn't know what he'd say if he texted her, anyway, though. He could say 'maybe you were kinda right' but, eughh, he didn't want to say that unless he really had to. Maybe he could say something else. Like . . . something?

He dallied in his room a few minutes longer but couldn't think of anything, so he just gave a huff, annoyed at himself, and left to start his day.

As he traversed the castle halls, his scroll buzzed. He quickly checked it.

THEOWLLADY:

hey nerd, check out my mad stacks, u jelly?

It was accompanied with a picture of Luz posing next to a big pile of books on magic, arms crossed as she leaned against them, smiling smugly as she winked. Considering the angle of the camera was kind of low, it seemed likely she'd asked King to take the picture for her.

Hunter snorted and pocketed the scroll again. Ok, guess she wasn't mad.

He had a very busy morning, so there was no time for fooling around, but during his lunch break he took a very short lunch so he could spend some of his time sneaking out some extra fruit for Flapjack. He knew that today they served blipberries and they were a favorite choice of the bird's. Back in his room, he fed his palisman and talked to him for a while; Flapjack told him about his explorations of the woods near Bonesborough.

When he'd finished, he saw he had a few minutes left to spare. His eyes drifted to his scroll. He made a sudden choice about how to spend his last minutes.

After hauling out all the hefty books from his bookshelf and arranging them into ridiculously tall stacks (they nearly touched the ceiling), he snapped a photo. He prepared to send it to Luz and typed a reply to go with it.

Rulerzreachf4n:

can't be jelly when my book stacks are bigger then yours

He looked at his message for a few moments and decided to try to add an emoji. The other day, Willow had told him how to add them.

can't be jelly when my book stacks are bigger then yours 😉

Ok, perfect. He hit 'send.' Feeling very pleased with himself, he left his room to continue his day-- he'd clean up later.

His pocket buzzed a few minutes later.

THEOWLLADY:

Hey kid, uhh, I think you were probably intending that message for Luz, guess she didn't tell you I'm taking my account back from her

His face fell as he read the text.

THEOWLLADY:

On a sidenote, you might wanna work on your flirty texting skills, because that was a little weird

THEOWLLADY:

. . . although damn, you have 'Roots in Ice and Flame'?

THEOWLLADY:

not bad.

He rushed to reply, his expression horrified.

Rulerzreachf4n:

SORry ma'am

Rulerzreachf4n:

i dindnt know

Rulerzreachf4n:

won't happenagain

THEOWLLADY:

I'll let her know you were asking for her

THEOWLLADY:

but I'll be keeping an eye on you kids. no seducing her with your big books, got it buster?

Rulerzreachf4n:

what

Rulerzreachf4n:

i swear i wasnt doing anything ii was just sharingshe was curious what booksi had

THEOWLLADY:

sure.

"Whoa, easy there, sir!"

Hunter's head snapped up as he nearly collided with a coven scout.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and the scout gave him a snappy salute.

"No worries. Say, are you on that Penstagram thinga-mabob? I've been thinking of trying it out. What's it like?"

Hunter narrowed his eyes, trying to think of how to reply. After a few moments he responded cryptically,

"It's . . . complicated."

He figured the scout (after he spoke he realized it was Steve) would find this answer confusing, but Steve just nodded sagely.

"Yeah, I worry the superficial nature of social media might be acting to give us all the illusion of connection when all it's really doing is reinforcing our tendency to present perfect self-images to the outside world and never truly getting to know one another."

"Uh. Yeah . . ." Hunter answered.

"Good luck with it, sir!"

It was early evening when Hunter got a text from a new account.

Luzura_Warrior:

Hey Hunter, it's Luz! 🌈 🌻🐦

Luzura_Warrior:

Ok so I'm super sorry about earlier, Eda grabbed her scroll back from me when I was on my way out the door for class and I didn't have time to tell you

Luzura_Warrior:

But the good news is, she gave me my very own scroll! And now I have my own account too!

Luzura_Warrior:

Oh also don't worry, I went and deleted our old conversations on Eda's account, if you're worried about privacy or whatever.

Rulerzreachf4n:

oh. okay.

Thankfully, it seemed Eda hadn't told Luz to avoid him or anything. Or if she did, she'd just ignored it.

Luzura_Warrior:

anyway, I'm really excited now, because I've decided I'm going to use this new account to start a series of videos I'm gonna post on Penstagram!

Luzura_Warrior:

They're gonna be instructional videos about glyph magic. Teach people the basics, how to do them, all the different kinds

Luzura_Warrior:

So few people know anything about them, so it's perfect. I can help re-introduce a lost and ancient artform to the witches of the Boiling Isles!

Luzura_Warrior:

What do you think?

Hunter was in the cafeteria having a late dinner, and it was not particularly crowded; he always sat alone, anyway. Nevertheless, he felt the need to glance around and make sure nobody was watching him or peeking over his shoulder. Once satisfied, he returned to his scroll.

Rulerzreachf4n:

aren't you worried about getting into trouble? practicing wild magic so brazenly could draw a lot of attention.

Luzura_Warrior:

well, I guess I'm not really worried?

Luzura_Warrior:

the emperor already knows who I am and where I live. but he leaves us alone, for some reason.

Luzura_Warrior:

and it's obvious by now that the coven must also know about hexside mixing magic and most of its students getting palismen

Luzura_Warrior:

but they haven't done anything about that either.

Luzura_Warrior:

why is that, anyway? it's kinda weird.

Luzura_Warrior:

you don't have to tell me if it's classified or whatever, I'm just curious

Hunter paused for a moment, conflicted on what his response should be; but it didn't take long for his heart to win out. His reply was blunt and honest.

Rulerzreachf4n:

belos said the owl lady isn't a threat. he says she's more useful to be left alone as an example of what wild magic does to a person. that it has slowly crippled her over the years and she's nothing more than a pathetic farce of a witch now. and that her human apprentice has proven herself equally feeble.

Luzura_Warrior:

ah. I see.

Luzura_Warrior:

nice guy, that belos.

Rulerzreachf4n:

for the record, I don't agree with him. but you never speak out against belos, not if you value your own skin.

Rulerzreachf4n:

besides, I . . . wasn't really in a hurry to give him any reasons to lock you up

Rulerzreachf4n:

as for hexside, I'm not really sure. they do know all about it, you're right. but I haven't been told why we're looking the other way. all I've been told is that it's in our best interest to leave them be for the moment, and that they'll be dealt with when the time is right.

Luzura_Warrior:

Hm. That's . . . ominous.

Luzura_Warrior:

But I guess if that's their stance right now, making a few videos on glyphs probably isn't going to make much of a difference anyway.

Rulerzreachf4n:

probably, yeah...

Rulerzreachf4n:

but. I dunno, just be careful with it, ok?

Rulerzreachf4n:

maybe consider keeping it only among friends

Luzura_Warrior:

hmm. I could change my settings so only followers can see my posts.

Luzura_Warrior:

ok. I'll think about doing that.

Luzura_Warrior:

thanks for looking out for me, hunter.

Hunter felt embarassed at how easily he revealed information to her.

Rulerzreachf4n:

look, I'm just making sure I don't end up having to arrest you and haul you in, that'd be a huge pain in the ass

Luzura_Warrior:

fair enough

Luzura_Warrior:

so how's your day been?

Rulerzreachf4n:

eh. it's been all right, I guess

Rulerzreachf4n:

tired of the headache I've had all day though

Luzura_Warrior:

oof. that sucks, sorry. 😕

Luzura_Warrior:

do you get those often?

Rulerzreachf4n:

not usually, but

He hesitated briefly, but answered honestly again.

Rulerzreachf4n:

well, it's a common withdrawal symptom when you stop taking energy potions

Luz didn't make a fuss about it, though, simply answering,

Luzura_Warrior:

ah, gotcha.

Eager to shift focus, he asked,

Rulerzreachf4n:

how about you, how was your day?

Luzura_Warrior:

it was good! I got a perfect score on my potions assignment 😎⚗️🧪

Luzura_Warrior:

thanks again for all your help last night.

Rulerzreachf4n:

no problem

Luzura_Warrior:

you think maybe . . . it'd be cool if I kept occasionally asking for your help on homework?

Luzura_Warrior:

just if I get really stuck.

Luzura_Warrior:

it's totally fine if you're too busy though, I wouldn't wanna impose or anything

Rulerzreachf4n:

nah, it would be fine with me

Rulerzreachf4n:

honestly...it was kinda fun

Rulerzreachf4n:

I. well I told you before I was trained in a lot of subjects, by private tutors. but I was always curious what the cirriculum was like at the public schools.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I can sort of see what the hexside experience is like through you, you know?

Luzura_Warrior:

okay, awesome! I can be your eyes and ears 👀👂

Rulerzreachf4n:

yeah, exactly.

Luzura_Warrior:

oh, shoot, I gotta go for now

Luzura_Warrior:

talk to you later tonight?

Hunter couldn't help the smile that reached his face.

Rulerzreachf4n:

sure

Over the weekend, Luz talked to Hunter a lot about her plans for her first glyph video. He warned her early on that he wouldn't be watching the videos, because he was too concerned about being caught. Luz said she understood and asked if she should drop the subject entirely with him. He told her it was fine to just talk about it.

She posted her first video on Sunday. He was determined to keep away from it.

He lasted only a few hours.

When the night grew very late, he found himself grabbing the scroll and clicking on the video anyway. The sound quality wasn't very good because she was far from the mic and the scroll seemed to be propped up against a book or something, so the camera angle was a little odd as well. But Luz looked so bright-eyed and excited, and listening to her talk about glyphs and how she discovered her first one was mesmerizing. His heart squeezed in his chest as he watched her. Afterwards, he told himself he needed to be more careful. He was growing far too attached, and this was getting risky.

But it seemed he was already in too deep to back out now. What had started as a tentative friendship via the awkward medium of texting had already grown into a bond. Now that he had a taste of actual friendship, he found that he was hooked. And he began to realize some rather uncomfortable truths. Such as just how profoundly unpleasant his life in the Coven actually was most of the time, and how much nicer it was to not be completely and utterly isolated.

Monday evening, Luz sent him the scenes that were cut from Ruler's Reach. He read them and re-read them, finding he was completely captivated. Later that night, when she asked him what he thought about them, he couldn't help but gush.

Rulerzreachf4n:

now that I've seen these scenes the story makes so much more sense

Rulerzreachf4n:

I mean, in the book, prince auric joined ruler's army and accomplished all these impressive things but that never made much sense to me

Rulerzreachf4n:

like, where did these changes come from, out of the blue?

Rulerzreachf4n:

but in this version, it actually makes sense. luzura was the one who woke him from his thousand-year slumber, she was the one who actually recognized him, was able to make that connection

Rulerzreachf4n:

and they grow together in the story, learn from one another. plus they complement each other so well, you know, they make such a great team.

Rulerzreachf4n:

it feels so much more compelling.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I enjoyed the book, don't get me wrong, but this . . .

Rulerzreachf4n:

this was really good

There was a long pause while Luz typed, as it seemed she was taking longer then usual.

Luzura_Warrior:

ok, wow. so this is so. validating to hear.

Luzura_Warrior:

I actually felt really self-conscious about this stuff. king kept saying it was too cheesy and mushy and stuff and, I guess...I wondered if maybe he was right. so I havent really showed it to anyone else until now.

Luzura_Warrior:

he said it was kinda cringe.

Rulerzreachf4n:

it was cringe? what does that mean?

Luzura_Warrior:

it . . . that it's so bad it's embarassing, I guess

Rulerzreachf4n:

what?? it's not bad, that's bullshit! it's amazing

Rulerzreachf4n:

the way you describe stuff, it makes it feel like I'm actually there . feeling what the characters are feeling or whatever

Rulerzreachf4n:

and their interactions are so great

Rulerzreachf4n:

the whole plot where they had to investigate pegasus valley and take on secret identities so nobody would know auric is the prince, I loved that

Rulerzreachf4n:

it was tense and exciting but the interactions between luzura and auric made it even better

Rulerzreachf4n:

I got the sense he was enjoying their secret identities a little too much

Rulerzreachf4n:

especially when he decided that part of their cover story was that they were newlyweds on vacation

Rulerzreachf4n:

it was funny

Luzura_Warrior:

oh my god yes exactly, that's what I was trying to tell king

Luzura_Warrior:

all the gore and violence gets boring if that's all there is, but a little romantic tension makes it so much more interesting

Luzura_Warrior:

I feel like you really get me 😁

Rulerzreachf4n:

did you have any plans on where to take the story next?

Rulerzreachf4n:

I really wanna know what happens next

Luzura_Warrior:

well, I didn't have it entirely outlined, but I did have some ideas

Luzura_Warrior:

to be honest, talking to you about it is making me excited about it again, though

Luzura_Warrior:

I..might try to start writing again?

Luzura_Warrior:

maybe? it could be fun to write the story in the way I'd imagined it. not to publish, just for fun, I mean.

Luzura_Warrior:

like an AU fanfic of my own book, ha.

Rulerzreachf4n:

if you do, let me know, I'll definitely read it.

Luzura_Warrior:

okay! you could be my beta reader.

Luzura_Warrior:

dang, this is exciting 😃

Luzura_Warrior:

oh I have to go, it’s a schoolday tomorrow

Rulerzreachf4n:

sure, talk to you later

#toh #the owl house #goldenlight #lunter #huntceda #goldenluz #luz x hunter #hunter x luz #goldenlight fanfic

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zerodaryls · 3 years ago

Photo

Stede’s Quarters: A Guide/Resource for Artists, Writers, and General Nerds (i.e. Me, I’m Nerds)

This will be an absurdly long post, so buckle in.

Here’s a look at what we know of the layout of Stede’s quarters aboard The Revenge.

Let’s start with the entryway.

Here are Olu and Jim entering the quarters from the outer hall:

We see the Dutch men running through the hall on the way to Stede’s quarters in ep6:

And there they are, above, arriving at the other side of the door.

This might be the same hall as we see Ed musing over Stede’s things here, but it’s difficult to tell (if anyone knows of a shot that connects these two settings, please feel free to add to this post):

Now, onto the bulk of the room:

We have Lucius sitting in front of the library in the photo above, and in the photo below we see the opposite side of the room, where the big windows are.

To the left of the photo above, you can just barely see the doors to the main wardrobe (we’ll get to the beloved auxiliary wardrobe in a minute).

It took me a rewatch to even notice that ep6′s f**kery was set in Stede’s quarters. Lucius emerges from the wardrobe before cutting off one of his fingies (poor bby).

Here’s another shot that shows the wardrobe doors (behind Jim):

And, now, let’s move to the right side of the room, where Stede’s sleeping area is:

A close-up of the curtains separating his sleeping area from the rest of the room:

And voila!

He’s got a little desk and chair by his bed (another thing my apparently super unobservant ass never noticed the first time around):

It’s got an oval-shaped mirror on the wall:

A view of the rest of the room from the sleeping area (featuring Ed ogling a sleeping, injured man):

Moving right along, let’s check out ~The Auxiliary Wardrobe~

The super secret door to the super secret wardrobe is to the right side of the sleeping area, with a lever to open said super secret door cleverly disguised as some sorta mini mannequin thing on the bookshelf.

We step inside, and:

A bit of a clotheshorse, indeed.

Look at that fancy mirror above that fancy trunk. Stede is living my dream life.

Anyway, it’s clear that the little room that contains the bathtub is accessible from the auxiliary wardrobe, since Ed crawls back there at the mention of the Kraken in ep6.

I’m guessing that there’s a hall to the left of what we see in the photo below, since there seems to be a natural light source over there:

We see Stede standing outside the bathtub room in a dark hall (pictured below), and I’m guessing that’s what we might see if we turn the corner in the photo above, since there’s a window there.

Let’s step back into the main room and admire the library.

Er... my bad.

Let’s look at the library when it’s in shipshape condition.

There’s a lil chair and a fireplace back there, along with a globe and a fancyass sitting couch lounge thing that I don’t know the name of because I’m not fancy:

It disappears sometime before ep6 (trust me it’s not behind the curtain, Stede’s standing there and when he sits later in the scene it’s on the little chair):

Where did it disappear to?? Who knows. Maybe one of Ed’s crew was sleeping on it elsewhere (please someone draw Izzy all grumbly and curled up on that ridiculous little lounge thingy).

Anyway, it reappears by ep8:

Which, makes me think that either Izzy was sleeping on it and they moved it back in there after they kicked him off the ship at the end of ep6, or Ed had been sleeping on it elsewhere (which is less fun because I like the idea of Ed sleeping in the same room as Stede), and after banishing Ed with Jack, Stede moved it back into the room. Artists and writers, do with these ideas what you will.

Ahem, anyway. Moving back into the middle of the room:

We got a fancy couch, a fancy round ottoman (hey, look, I know one fancy furniture word!), and two chairs opposite the couch, facing the windows.

Below, we see that there’s also a fancy lil table between the two chairs (which seems to be moved around throughout the season, too). I have no idea what is on that table but please do add your two cents if you recognize anything. (The little gold box might just be... a box? Like a lil trinket box?? But I have no idea what the thing on the left is. Stede’s spyglass, maybe???)

Here’s the fancy lil table again (on the far left of the photo) in another scene:

And then we’ve got that special little breakfast setup we see in ep8:

I’m not sure where that table comes from. It looks like they just moved the chairs from the middle of the room closer to the windows, and the table might be the one pushed against the window in this shot:

...but with the stuff cleared off and replaced with a tablecloth and dining stuff.

Oh, yeah, there’s a piano in the middle of the room, too, behind the couch. And a giant fucking chandelier hanging above the seating area. As well as a chandelier in the library.

I think... that about covers it??

If anyone has any more reference photos or notes they wanna add to the post, please feel free!

And, finally, I leave you where the finale leaves you:

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #stede's quarters #ofmd references #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #long post #my posts

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taechaos · 4 years ago

Text

Web of Lies

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying.

warnings: angst, panic attack, dry humping, the TINIEST bit of fluff

word count: 4.3k

Obstacles are inevitable in relationships; there’s always something that must go wrong. They can come in the form of arguments, disagreements, actions, or people like Taehyung. One physical obstacle that always knows when Jungkook is with you.

A few days after the fight between the two close friends, Taehyung’s nose somewhat healed and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from you as frequently. What’s the point when the people he tried to hide you from found out about his relationship with you anyway? The only reason he doesn’t approach you every time he sees you is because: 1. He doesn’t enjoy being clingy; that would mean he likes being around you all the time which he refuses to admit. 2. You would probably get tired of him and stop loving him. 3. He kissed your friend who always sits next to you outside.

Now that he’s taking most of his opportunities to talk to you, and maybe kiss you, Taehyung is growing restless. Every time Jungkook is with you, so is Taehyung. Some. Fucking. How.

To name one of the busts: when Jungkook was kissing you in the university’s hallway two days ago, Taehyung popped in out of nowhere and shouted, “Get a room, you sluts!” It made for a good laugh between the students, especially when Jungkook ran after him out of the building.

Another time is when Jungkook was watching you work in the yard and Taehyung joined you two to ask about that “one hot friend of yours”. You ended up telling him about Soyeon and Minnie while Jungkook glared at Taehyung that conveyed a clear message: Don’t. So, he didn’t. It didn’t have anything to do with getting elbowed when you weren’t looking.

It was because that would ruin the fun, and he has a sense of purpose while roaming the entire campus to make his fourth bust of the week. He’s searched the hot and empty spots, but he just can’t find the passionate couple anywhere. If he can’t keep disrupting their displays of affection, how will Jungkook get annoyed enough to spill the truth to you? You deserve that much, and if you still accept him, then Taehyung’s out of the picture.

Why can’t Jungkook see that?

For starters, one of the reasons is Jungkook is distracted and growing very irritated by the heavy stare he feels digging into his skin. Who the fuck is watching him? He thought it would be nice to keep you company in the main campus library by controlling your hand under the table over his clothed erection while you skim through your textbook for a light revision, but a pair of eyes behind a bookshelf won’t stop glaring into his soul through thick frames that he can’t see.

He blows out a breath and screws his eyes shut. His jaw clenches and you immediately catch on, worriedly asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s fucking watching me and I can’t get off,” he grits. Your cheeks heat and grow crimson when you glance down at your occupied hand, palmed by his bigger one in a tight grip.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, “we can go to my dorm, if you’d like? Whatever you want.” In an act of comfort, you stupidly start caressing his length until he stands up.

“Gotta confront the fucker.”

Right when he raises his foot to take a step in the direction that his senses lead him to, Taehyung joins in on the mission. “Who are we confronting?” he asks casually with an arm over Soyeon’s shoulder, who is trying to suppress a grimace at the intervention. Jungkook glances at him and then your friend before sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes.

You grin brightly at the greeting and explain, “Someone's watching him. He’s going to find the stalker.”

“Might’ve been me, oops,” Taehyung raises his brows guiltily before slumping on a wooden chair adjacent to you, looking around the spacious area that makes him feel too loud. When he notices Soyeon still standing, he tells her, “come, sit,” and pats the seat next to him. She does so timidly. “Isn’t it so wonderful—”

“Why are you here?” Jungkook interrupts, but Taehyung continues, “—that we’re forming a friend group of our own? We’re all so familiar with each other.”

“Oh, Soyeon hasn’t met Jungkook yet.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you with a scrunch of his nose. “Sure about that?” Jungkook strides behind his chair and starts massaging his shoulders; a very harsh massage that has him holding back a wince. “Oh, Kook, that’s a bit rough. Tell me, is he like this in bed too?”

You gape at him in surprise, bashful because your lover doesn’t kiss and tell, and he doesn’t look too happy about it either.

“Tae…” Jungkook snarls.

“Well, is he, Soyeon?”

The library’s silence graces your table as everyone falls quiet, if you don’t count Taehyung’s groans at Jungkook’s bruising hold that is. Soyeon’s jaw drops and her eyes widen at the sudden switch in your gaze, searching for answers from her. “That’s not funny, Taehyung,” she breaks the silence with her blunt statement.

“Don’t mind him, baby, he has brain damage,” Jungkook spits and brings a hand up to Taehyung’s hair to yank it back. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he whispers in his ear.

Your features begin to soften from its hard expression until Taehyung smiles wickedly at you. “Oh yeah, it wasn’t sex, was it? It was a tongue battle-” His voice cuts off the moment Jungkook starts choking him with his elbow, and his gags fall on deaf ears. Soyeon tries to push him off, but you’re just blank because Jungkook isn’t denying it; it was as if he was expecting it, trying to stop him all along.

The sudden interest in your friend, the constant interruptions, the hits…

“Soyeon?” you call quietly with welling up tears. “Did you kiss him?”

Your best friend doesn’t lie, and apparently neither does Taehyung. Does Jungkook lie? You’re conflicted between living in bliss, ignoring the dying man in front of you because your boyfriend might have kissed Soyeon, and facing reality by asking the hard questions.

Her hands are still tugging on his shirt to save Taehyung, but her persistence weakens when she looks at you: guilty and… exposed? “I didn’t know it was him,” she confesses. It is indirect, and doesn’t reveal much except that she kissed the one man she wasn’t supposed to.

“When?”

“The party,” Taehyung wheezes as he struggles against Jungkook’s arm, his nails drawing blood on his skin. His face is red from the lack of oxygen but he isn’t worried about dying.

“Oh, he put you up to this, didn’t he?” Jungkook speaks through clenched teeth to Soyeon. “They’re setting me up, and who the fuck is watching me?!”

You stand up slowly and close your textbook with a soft thud, packing your materials so graciously. Your hands are shaking, but the tears blurring your vision don’t matter to you. Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. You sling your bag over your shoulder and trudge to the exit, counting your steps to calm down. You ignore Jungkook asking you where you’re going, Taehyung gasping for breath, and Soyeon telling him to leave you alone. It’s all muffled and you’re too sad to care.

It’s a case of he said she said, but your heart is siding with your friends with how painfully it pounds against your chest. Your trust in Jungkook couldn’t have been that fragile, could it? Why did it break with one sentence?

Heavy footfalls follow you beyond the exit, but you’re too distracted by trying to move your legs steadily to notice. It isn’t important enough to distract you from someone calling your name though, or the light weight of a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hm?” you say without looking up, frozen in your steps.

“A-Are you okay?” A smooth voice asks.

“I’m a bit sad,” your voice cracks and wavers from holding back a meltdown, “hurt.” You want to recognize the blurred image of the man standing next to you, so you blink and a tear sheds from each eye. “I told you to never talk to me again, Jimin.” You feel overwhelmed, and yet the memory of the blackmail has little impact on your mess of emotions, but it doesn't help you feel better either.

“Sorry,” he breathes, “I still don’t understand why, but you can do the talking for me. Wh-what happened?”

“Why do you ask? So you can use that against me too?” you scoff through the lump in your throat. Confusion washes his soft features, so you add, “maybe another handjob for it?” You shrug off his hand and continue your walk of shame.

“I-I’ve never used anything against you, what are you talking about?” He’s chasing after you and it’s a bit of help in swaying your thoughts in a different direction, and your emotions towards anger and disbelief instead.

“Does a video ring a bell? The one you threatened to leak if I didn’t touch your…” You groan to yourself and quicken your pace towards your dorm. Maybe you could mope comfortably in there without the annoying presence of an arch enemy, who is feeding you more lies than you’re capable of consuming in one day.

“What? I never— Listen, I deleted that video the second I received it. Whoever told you that was lying, please!”

It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying. His love was a lie too, apparently. Maybe the Jungkook you know is just one big fat lie who can’t seem to tell you the truth in any moment you’ve been with him. How many times do you need to hear from others and yourself that Jungkook is lying?

“I know,” you whimper and run off.

Once Taehyung catches his breath after coughing for a minute straight with a fresh bruise blossoming on his neck, he interrupts the hushed argument between Jungkook and Soyeon by asking, “Where’d she go?”

“I don’t know, but you’re going straight to hell once I fucking kill you for good,” Jungkook fumes with flushed cheeks.

“If you die by murder, you go straight to Heaven. How do you not know this?” His voice is low from the assault and his throat aches, but he still attempts to lighten the mood.

“I swear to fucking God, Taehyung—” Jungkook stops his threat when he sees Soyeon sneakily walking away. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Air,” Soyeon vaguely answers.

“Bullshit.” Jungkook tries to go after her, wanting to be the first to find your dorm so she doesn't say more about that night, but Taehyung holds onto his wrist to stop him.

“She needs time—”

“Fuck off.”

When Jungkook begins to walk off after yanking off his hand, Taehyung immediately searches around the room and takes out a pen from a cup on the reception desk before jumping Jungkook from behind just as he was about to leave. They struggle against each other and start rolling around, but Taehyung is driven by adrenaline as he grounds himself on top of him. He holds him down with his legs and uncaps the pen to start writing on his forehead.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Everyone in the library peeks at the commotion due to Jungkook’s loud yell, but neither of them pay mind as he tries to move away from the pen.

“See if she takes you seriously with dick written on your forehead,” Taehyung chuckles before sprinting off with him hot on his tail. Jungkook is stronger, but Taehyung is much faster as he loses him pretty quickly by hiding in an occupied lecture hall. The professor looks at him questioningly but he thinks fast and breathlessly asks the students, “Is Jeon Jungkook here? The headmaster is looking for him.” Some people search for him, but when no one makes a peep, he escapes the room and Jungkook’s wrath.

Now to go to your dorm before Jungkook scrubs off the ink…

“I didn’t know his name,” Soyeon murmurs while fidgeting with her fingers. When she came in the room, you were muffling your sobs with your pillow and all she saw was your jerking shoulders. She tried to comfort you, to hug you, but you weren’t exactly being friendly, and the setting is pretty much the same except she’s sitting on your bed while you still cry. “I asked people what he looked like, but it was just a description of every guy in the room. He wasn’t around for them to point at, and so I thought maybe he didn’t come. Then this guy kisses me on this couch, feels guilty about it, and tells me his name. I-I didn’t know it was Jungkook. He left for you anyway…”

Her attempt at consolation is fruitless because it only makes you cry harder. She rubs your back soothingly before standing up. “I’ll check up on you later. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” You nod against your stained pillow.

The moment she opens the door, Taehyung’s fist misses her head by an inch. “Oops,” he says before gently pushing her aside by her shoulder and entering. His eyes fall on your fetal position first thing and he pouts at you. “Aw, baby—”

“She doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“I’m good company,” he dismisses her with a flick of his wrist, “you can go.”

She rolls her eyes before shutting the door, and it’s only you and him now. Your hiccups fill the room as he sadly watches you, a quiet sigh leaving his mouth. “I tried to tell you. Well, I tried to get him to tell you.”

“Y-You said,” you snivel against the sheet, “th-that he was whipped for me.”

I said that to get you to open up. Even in his head it sounds cruel, so he rethinks his response with a grimace. “Jungkook told me he liked you.” Maybe shifting the blame wasn’t exactly much better, especially since he told him that after the claim, but you have enough on your plate.

“H-He told me he loved me,” you hiccup, releasing your death grip on the poor pillow. It’s a mask rather than a silencer now. Taehyung widens his eyes to himself and purses his lips. He takes Soyeon’s former seat and turns you on your back. His heart sinks a little when he sees your face: red nose, heavy lids, bloodshot eyes and quivering lips with messy hair. You look really pretty to him right now. “He lies so much. H-He even made me give Jimin a handjob.”

“Made you?” he repeats with his thumb drawing circular patterns on your collarbone.

You nod. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it. It was horrible.”

His brows furrow at your tone. “That’s so fucked up... Man, you need to avoid him.”

“Jimin?”

“Jungkook. That’s too twisted, even for him. You’re an angel…” his palm reaches for your cheek and his thumb continues its soothing motions. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you mouth and fresh tears brim as you try to swallow. It feels like you’re sick all over again, except there’s no misunderstanding to clear this time. He wipes a stray teardrop and smiles down at you; it’s a relaxing gesture. You close your eyes and hold onto his wrist, snuggling into his warm hand.

“I sound really cheesy, don’t I?” he chuckles. “Can’t lie, wish I had someone call me an angel after I caught my ex cheating on me.”

An involuntary giggle erupts from your mouth at his joke. “You’re an angel, Taehyung. An angel in disguise.” You peek at him before fluttering your eyes shut again. A pursed smile graces his lips, and he’s convinced he isn’t interested in you romantically, that it was just an invisible force drawing him closer to you, that he wasn’t the one aiming for your lips until a pound on the door resounds in the room.

You flinch away from his hand and he pulls back instantly; both of your heads shoot to the source of the noise.

“Open up!” Jungkook yells and continues fisting the door. “Open the fucking door!” Taehyung holds a finger against his lips, signalling you to stay silent until he leaves. “I want to talk. Open the door… please.” Neither of you say anything.

“Fine,” he agrees, “don’t talk. I’ll talk, but at least give me a sign that you’re here.” Before Taehyung can stop you, you rush to the door and knock once. You hear him slide down the door, presumably leaning his back against it and sitting on the floor. “Okay. I’m sor— They were lying—” you slam your fist against the door in denial. “Okay! But they weren’t telling the whole truth back there. I was um… on drugs. I was really fucking high, okay?”

“Yet your high-self still managed to yell at me! Clearly you weren’t high out of your mind,” you snap menacingly. He flinches at your sudden shut-down; he’s never heard you yell at him before, nor has he ever been the victim of your anger. It makes his heart drop.

“That was like, three hours after I got high! I was practically sober, plus, you weren’t talking to me that day!”

“I had lost my voice! I didn’t want you to get sick—"

“I DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW THAT!”

He gulps at your silence and inhales a deep breath to calm down. He hears you sniffle on the other side. “I-I didn’t know that. You wouldn’t kiss me, wouldn’t talk to me, and I didn’t know why. I thought you stopped loving me and… that really upset me.” He sighs to himself because he’s never opened up so honestly and it’s difficult, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice. It just feels so embarrassing.

Taehyung opens the window of your dorm and climbs out. You don’t see or hear it happen, too invested in your argument to even remember his existence. “Do you remember what I told you the night we did it for the first time?”

His face scrunches as he tries to replay the events beside the sex. The corner of his lip tugs upwards when he recalls you calling him a slut, but he’s still clueless as to why you’re bringing it up. You don’t leave him in the dark for long. “I told you I wouldn’t forgive you a second time.” He gnaws on his lip as his palms feel clammy with nervous sweat.

“W-We weren’t dating then,” he tries to justify. “I didn’t need forgiveness then. You’re so unfair!” He stands up and knocks with his fist again. “Let’s talk it out face to face, I’ll explain everything. You’re putting me at a disadvantage! Don’t you want clarity? Don’t you want this to work out?!” He starts chanting your name when you don’t answer. “I will break down this fucking door if you don’t open it,” he doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as he usually does when threatening; he sounds more like he’s a second away from breaking down himself. “No, no… please. I-I’ll kiss another girl if you break up with me! You don’t want that, right? So just open the door.”

His tough façade crumbles the longer you ignore him, and he can’t believe the heavy weight he feels all over his body wants to leave in the form of tears. It stings in his eyes but he doesn’t dare let them fall. “You’re so fucking cruel!” He twists the door handle violently; desperately. A dry sob escapes him as he kicks the door one last time. “Oh God, oh God…” he tries to breathe but it doesn’t enter his lungs. It’s like being choked with a noose as he gasps and a tear runs down his cheek. His wheezes become so loud that you start hearing them and grow concerned.

You consider the possibility that it’s one of his tactics, trying to manipulate you, but you open the door anyway. It’s a slight crack and you barely get a look at him before he pushes it open completely and forces his way in. He sits on your bed and his shoulders hunch, breaths still shallow. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t like her, never did, I only— I was mad, and I couldn’t go through with it, and I’ve never shown you affection b-because I’ve only ever received it from you—” you hush his rambling with a hug, but he continues with his head against your stomach anyway, “I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m a fucking mess and I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with me, but please don’t leave me. I’ll do my homework, I’ll stop being mean, I won’t even talk if you don’t want me to, but please don’t stop talking to me.”

“Jungkook…” you trail in shock. “I’m here. Take a deep breath.” When he tries, it’s so shaky that it makes you tear up for the umpteenth time. You’re a mess with him. “In and out, love, in and out.” You would do it with him like an instructor, but it’s not possible when he’s squeezing your waist so tightly. It takes a few minutes for him to relax his grip and he looks up at you pitifully. “It’s okay,” you assure and pet his hair, “you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most,” he exhales. “I mean… I realized that night, that I only want to be with…”

“I get it,” you whisper to comfort him, knowing he has struggles with expressing himself, but he doesn’t stop. He wants to get it off his chest, and he quietly tells you, “I kissed another girl when I wanted to make you jealous, and then another to forget. I don’t want to do that, I mean I only want to kiss… you.”

You initiate it first by leaning down to peck his lips, and you don’t pull away too far. You peck him again, and then start kissing him. He’s never been this slow with you before, but the panic attack must have drained him. It’s the way that he doesn’t immediately turn it heated with the intent of taking it to the third base that warms your heart. He’s hesitant and taking his time, mindful of your reactions because you’re in control for once. You’re aware of how vulnerable he is being with you, and he conveys that with the gentle press of his lips.

He whimpers into the kiss, and it’s so quiet and mournful that you lean back but he chases after you. He doesn’t want to stop like you’d assumed, so you place your knees on either side of him and hover over his thighs. Even his hands are hesitant as he lightly sits you down on his lap by pulling your waist. You smile against him and with his submission, you swipe your tongue across his lip. He opens for you. You roll your tongue around his, and he eventually begins to suck on yours. There’s a pit in your stomach that confuses you; is it arousal? Flattery? You feel so special because you know he hasn’t been like this with anyone else; so powerless and passive.

It’s passionate. You inch your body a little closer to him and he grunts when you brush against his crotch before settling down. This isn’t about sexual needs, and you don’t treat it as such but your body has a mind of its own with its constant shuffling that turns him on. He doesn’t want to feel that way, but his hips have a subtle way of thrusting beneath you. His hums rumble and you kiss him harder, losing all your senses except for the warmth of his skin. You don’t notice him controlling the movement of your hips because he’s taking it slow, and you don’t need to know why he’s quietly moaning into you.

At least no one’s watching him now.

You pull back in surprise when he groans loudly, and you know he’s back to himself as his actions grow rough. You’re practically jumping when he grinds on you with his spit all over your mouth because of his explorative tongue. From past experience, you’ve figured out that Jungkook is more honest when he’s in the heat of the moment, so you inquire against his lips, “Why did you lie to me about Jimin?”

“That fucking freak,” he growls, “I needed a reason to get you to hate him. He didn’t stop you when it happened, did he?”

Still manipulative. “Will you do the same with Taehyung?”

“No, I,” his thrusts slow down, “I’m gonna, err…” He looks at you for help.

“You’re gonna be a good boy and talk things out with him, right?”

“Right,” he breathes, “talk.” He slams his lips against yours again, and it’s not long before he sighs at his climax with your cooperation. There’s a small patch growing on his pants through his underwear, and he cusses when he notices it. He pecks you one last time before hugging you and laying on the bed, cuddling you like a blanket. “Do you forgive me?”

You rest your head on his chest and feel his pulse to contemplate. He brings a hand up to your hair and starts running his fingers through it, unbothered by your lack of answer. “I’ll make it up to you,” he says. “Do you…” he clears his throat, “do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” you tease with a grin.

“Yes.”

“There’s my answer,” you lift your head to wink up at him. “But if you test me again, I’ll break your heart just as you did mine. Don’t worry though,” you whisper, “I’ll never leave you.”

#bts imagines #bts scenarios #jeon jungkook #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fic #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook imagines #jjk smut #jeon jungkook smut #bts #networkbangtan

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johnsamericano · 3 years ago

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𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

#nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct jung yoonoh

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randomshyperson · 4 years ago

Text

Sorry for your loss - “I will move on” #04

Read on AO3 || Serie Masterlist here

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5

//-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-//

Chapter Four - I will move on

"And I guess that's about it." You say as you finish telling Agatha about your last few weeks. She smiles as she shakes her head.

"I have to say I am proud of you." She comments gesturing briefly with her hands. "Are you sure you don't want to add anything else?"

You shrug, unable to remember anything relevant that you haven't mentioned.

You told her about writing again, about trying to drive again. About helping Wanda to stay home without having panic attacks, and to go back to work. You had only managed to drive in the supermarket parking lot, but it was still progress, and Stephen was very happy to hear it about too. The only thing missing to get your life back to normal was your apartment. And you had already arranged with Wanda to visit later that week.

"I have two questions for you then." Agatha says when you confirm that you have nothing to add. "Don't you think it's time to try to reconnect with your friends?"

You hesitate, thoughtfully.

"I don't know." You said slightly uncomfortable. "My friends weren't just mine. They were Nat's friends too. And then she died, and I isolated myself. And well, I guess they were in their own grief too, because none of them tried to look for me anymore."

"You took your time to heal." She says. "Maybe they took theirs too. And now might be the time to reconnect."

You sigh, looking away.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." You speak. You look back at Agatha a moment later. "What was the other question?"

Agatha hides a small smile.

"A sensitive topic for patients who lose their beloved lovers." She says and you frown in confusion. "Well, dear, I need to ask if you are trying to date again?"

You gasp in surprise, feeling your face heat up.

"W-what?"

Agatha lets out a giggle.

"I know this may seem insensitive at first, and that's more because of the sexist socioeconomic construct that treats widowed women as violated property that must belong to their lover for the rest of their lives than anything else but I need you to understand that it's perfectly natural to move on." She narrates and you just stand there with a shocked expression and your heart racing. "You are a single woman now, and you have sexual and emotional human needs. I'm going to help you work through any kind of guilt, because judging your progress, you seem ready to be in a relationship again."

"I...I don't..."

"Don't worry, honey." Agatha interrupts with a giggle. "I'm not telling you to go around fornicating." She jokes. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But I don't think it's really your style at all."

You feel your face heat up, frowning at Agatha, but she continues to speak.

"Anyway, I'm saying that it will be good if you get back into romantic relationships with other people. Casual encounters, that sort of thing. You are allowed to love someone again, there's nothing wrong with that." She explains getting up toward her own desk, and then gives a mischievous little smile in your direction. "Not to mention that orgasms are great stress relievers."

You choke in surprise, but Agatha just smiles, turning to write the appointment report.

Your face is still very red when you leave her office.

//-//

"I'm going to make a gardener out of you yet, huh?" Monica joked as you finished composting, making you laugh lightly.

"Well, I had a good teacher." You joked back as you stood up.

You were at Wanda's flower shop again. It became routine for you to help Monica with the garden and the flowers. And as the days went by, you got used to being in the greenhouses while she was attending to customers and Wanda was working in the office. It took two weeks for Monica to start joking that you had become a staff member at the flower shop. You don't really mind helping out. Botany has turned out to be something surprisingly relaxing for you. The hours of Wanda's shift passed by quickly when you keep your hands busy with the plants and flowers, your anxiety long forgotten.

"Are you hungry?" Monica asks as soon as you return to the store's front desk, and she pulls out the " break" sign tucked under the counter.

"Sure."

"Let's take a lunch break. See if Wanda wants to join us while I attend that boy." Monica says looking forward toward the window display. There is a boy clearly unsure about whether or not to enter the store and you exchange a chuckle with her before heading towards Wanda's office.

She is on the phone when she answers the door for you, and signals with her finger in her mouth for you not to say anything as she makes room for you to enter. As she mumbles in agreement on the call, you look around. She seems to be working on the organization of some big event judging by the whiteboard in the corner filled with notes, and you figure it's a party or some wedding, because you and Monica have been growing more flowers for this kind of thing lately.

"That sounds pretty good, actually." You listen to her speak as she jots down a few things in an agenda. " Don't worry, we have enough for the engagement party and the ceremony."

The shelf on the side in front of the whiteboard catches your attention, and you walk over to the furniture next.

Wanda moves a little behind you, adding some stickers to the whiteboard. You keep looking at the bookshelf, distracted by the objects on it. There is a picture of the twins that makes you smile, some books, and other small pots of plants. You lightly caress the bonsai before looking down.

You run your fingers over the red flower on Wanda's bookshelf, trying to remember the name. Monica has taught you many things, but you don't know many as well.

"Anthurium" Wanda whispers behind you, as she turns off her cell phone and realizes that you are looking at the flower with curiosity. You murmur in understanding, turning to make comment that it is very beautiful, but your speech dies in your throat when you realize how close Wanda is. "What did you want?" She asks curiously and you are almost leaning your body against the bookshelf, trying to think clearly.

"I-I came to ask if you want to have lunch with us." You say while mentally telling yourself not to look at Wanda's lips.

Wanda murmurs in understanding, and you can barely breathe when she stands even closer, her hand outstretched to something above your head. She pulls out a small stick caught in your hair, and all you can do is stare at her with a racing heart as she bites back a smile, and tosses the stick into one of the vases on the shelf behind you.

"I'd like to join you, but I'm busy." She says and her gaze falls to your lips for a second before she turns her head away and walks off. You let out a breath, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants as Wanda walks toward the table in search of the notepad and pen she was using before hanging up her cell phone. "Can you please bring me something to eat? I'm starving. I just don't know exactly what I want..."

You smile as you see Wanda's thoughtful expression with pen and notebook in hand. You approach, putting the notebook down with your hand gently.

"Don't worry, I know what you like." You say simply, and Wanda blinks in surprise, smiling awkwardly. "I'll stop by that confectionery shop you like and also bring you a dessert, okay? You look stressed."

Wanda laughs lightly, her cheeks flushed.

"Thanks, love."

The nickname slips so naturally from her lips that it takes a moment for both of you to realize what has just been said. Your gaze falls to Wanda's mouth the same minute that her pupils dilate. You are almost breaking the distance when Monica opens the door, not noticing the closeness of the two of you because she has her gaze on a piece of paper in her own hands.

You and Wanda immediately turn away, embarrassed.

"We have a big order, girls." She announces excitedly, raising her eyes to you. Monica frowns slightly at the guilty expressions and reddened faces. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." You answer in unison quickly, surprising Monica again, who acquires an expression of suspicion and humor. You clear your throat and Wanda lets out a short laugh.

"We were just talking about lunch." You say. "And well, Wanda has a big order too. I guess you guys will need my help then."

Wanda turns to you again with this statement.

"What? No, I can't make you work for me..."

You interrupt with a laugh.

"Wanda, don't even start." You say. "I love staying here. And I'm happy to help, really. Don't worry about it."

"You sure make my shifts more fun." Adds Monica with a smile, making you laugh. Wanda looks at you intently.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and you smile as you nod in agreement. "We'll talk about it later. You can't work for free, and if you're going to help you need a schedule, and breaks and chores."

You laugh, nodding.

"Yes, boss." You murmur playfully and Wanda pats your arm, making you and Monica laugh.

"Let's get our lunch now, I'm starving." Monica orders as she turns to walk out the door. You murmur in agreement, and quickly kiss Wanda on the cheek before following the other woman. Wanda has a foolish smile on her face until you return with her lunch many minutes later.

//-//

You call Carol Danvers the day before you return to your apartment.

Things go much better than you expected, but it's not surprising, because you usually expect the worst case scenario.

Carol is very happy to hear from you, and you are happy to know that she doesn't hate you for not calling before. You talk for a few minutes, but she can't talk much on the phone because her shift is about to start. You are surprised to learn that she is working in a nightclub downtown now, unlike months ago when she worked in a rock bar in Queens.

She tells you that Bruce was traveling because of his internship, but that he would be in town for the weekend, and invites you to visit her at work. You hesitate because you are not sure if you are ready to go to a club, but you accept as you think of Agatha's words about reconnecting with your friends again.

You are the one who drives to your apartment the next day, after you and Wanda leave the flower shop. Your heart is racing the whole time, but Wanda rests her hand on your thigh to calm you down, and as the minutes go by, you can no longer tell whether you are nervous about the trauma or something else.

Parking in the small condo cluster, you take a deep breath. Wanda gives your thigh one last squeeze before she pulls her hand away and gets out of the car, completely oblivious to the way your entire body trembles at her touch. Shaking your head slightly to push that kind of thought away, you step out of the car.

Your hands are shaking wildly as you take your keys out of your pockets, just as you reach the second floor, after you have politely waved to the people who recognized you on the way to your apartment.

"Hey, breathe." Wanda asks softly beside you. And you take a deep breath, and it helps. And then you turn the key, and go inside.

It is exactly the same as the last time you were here, many months ago, on the day of the accident.

Your mother cleaned it up, of course, but it is still the same. Everything is in the exact same place, even the shoes that Nat left lying in the corner of the bookshelf. And you felt your chest tighten when the flashes of memory began.

You walked around, looking at the surroundings while Wanda followed you. A few tears streamed down your face, but you said nothing.

You were in the kitchen when the first sob escaped your throat. Leaning your hands on the counter, you dropped your keys and tried to push away the memories that were clear in your head.

It was as if you could feel Nat in the room. Seeing her in the armchair, laughing at your jokes, or being a disaster in the kitchen on nights when you tried to eat something homemade. Her books mixed in with yours on the bookshelf, your wedding and graduation pictures on the mantelpiece.

You moved away from the counter quickly, however, as Wanda looked at you intently, unsure whether to approach or not. Walking down the hallway, you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

And you stood there. Long minutes staring at the wood. Unable to move.

Feeling arms around your waist, you sighed, your body relaxing considerably.

Wanda hugged you from behind, and waited. You were crying again, and you only stopped after a while. Taking a deep breath, and lightly stroking Wanda's hand to ask her to let go, you waited for her to let go of you to open the door.

Wanda waited for you outside. You just walked around the room, your face wet as you breathed with difficulty, your arms crossed as if you were afraid to touch anything.

When you came out, you took a deep breath once more. And then you said you needed to call your mother.

That's how you spent the rest of the day packing up your apartment together with Wanda, your mother, and Pietro and Monica, who came to help after Wanda said you needed more people.

You came back the other day too, until the only things left were larger pieces of furniture.

"Are you sure you're going to sell?" Your mother asked you in the parking lot as soon as you left there in the late afternoon. Wanda had just gone home with her brother and sister-in-law.

"That was her apartment, Mom." You say as you put the boxes in the trunk. "I could never live here without Natasha."

"It's a good property." She comments, making you chuckle lightly.

"I'm sure the next owners will love it."

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, dear. It's just a nice apartment, not the kind of thing you get every day and..."

"Are you wanting to keep it by any chance?" You interrupt, irritated at your mother's lack of sensitivity. She sighs, and you frown.

"No. But maybe someone else wants to."

It takes a moment for you to understand what she is implying.

"You know Nat didn't talk to her family."

Your mother looks away.

"Actually..." She begins and you close the trunk with a confused expression, "I've been seeing Melina since January."

You blink in surprise, and then let out a dry laugh.

"I am speechless." You say in shock. "You...are you serious? Wow, I...wow."

You lean back against the car, impressed and annoyed. Your mother sighs guiltily, stepping in front of you again.

"Look, I know I should have had something, but you were so..."

"Sad? Yeah mom, my wife died, I had a right to be."

"That's not what I meant."

You sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, I know." You grumble. "But it sucks that you kept it from me. What the hell does Melina want anyway?"

Your mother looks away for a moment.

"She wanted to see you actually." She says and you let out a wry laugh. "I know how ridiculous it sounds, but her daughter died and you were the only remaining connection to Natasha."

You push your fingers against your forehead lightly, thinking you are starting to get a migraine from this conversation.

"You know what, Mom?" You say. "Since you two have become such good friends lately, tell her that her chance to connect with me was lost the moment she didn't attend the funeral."

Your mother sighs, but you are already turning to get into the car. She follows you a moment later, sitting in the passenger seat.

You drive in silence back home.

//-//

Over the weekend, you almost canceled your plans with Carol.

Your mother was giving you the silent treatment for the way you refused to talk about Natasha and Melina, and you were very irritated by the whole situation.

Grumbling about how ridiculous it all was, you agreed to have coffee with the two women the following week, and your mother's mood changed considerably, the complete opposite of what happened to you.

But you forced yourself to smile, and got up from the couch to get ready.

Around seven-thirty at night, you arrived at the place, which was already very busy, neon lights peeking through the windows along with the loud music.

"My goodness, look at you!" Greeted Carol cheerfully as soon as you met her at the counter. She turned around to hug you tight, and you felt your chest swell with happiness. You had missed your friend so much.

"You got a haircut" You comment in the same excitement, smiling at her. "I missed you, Danvers."

She smiles, mumbling that she missed you too. She asked you to sit on one of the stools at the front of the bar, and you did so while she went back behind the counter.

You updated each other a bit as she served some customers, and a while later, Bruce arrived.

"Banner I can't believe you are wearing a suit in a nightclub." Carol teased as she greeted her friend, making you chuckle slightly as Bruce explained that he didn't have time to look more casual.

"It's good to see you." He said to you as he hugged you, you repeated the words, then sat at the bar.

A few drinks and laughs later, Carol's shift ended, and she sat at a table with you two.

Between telling your friends about your progress in therapy, and hearing how Carol had left her previous job after punching a slacker client in the face, and learning that Bruce was working as an aspiring scientist, and lecturing around the country, the three of you had enough beers for the direction of the conversation to make your cheeks flush.

"I swear to you, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" Carol told you, making you and Bruce laugh at her excitement.

"Now you're going to say that the next second you saw the next most beautiful woman in the world?" You teased wryly, and Carol laughed as she told you to shut up. "Are you even dating this Gamora girl?"

Carol hid a smirk, taking a sip of her beer.

"Actually." She began. "We're living together."

You widened your eyes in surprise, and then laughed.

"My god, Carol Danvers in love!" You teased making her laugh as she flashed you her middle finger. "No, but seriously, that's amazing! I'm happy for you, Carol."

"Yes, yes." She says smiling, "But what about you? I know you and Nat were like, madly in love or whatever cheesy stuff you put in your books, but it's been months. It would be nice if you met someone new."

The topic is quite sensitive, and the mood at the table changes because of it. But you are far more embarrassed than upset, and you lower your gaze to your bottle before answering.

" Oh, well, i..." You begin half-heartedly. Your stomach does a flip-flop, because you are thinking of a person. "There is someone, I think. But I don't know if we're both ready to take that on yet."

Carol makes an agreeing noise with her mouth, and then has an insinuating little smile on her face.

"Do you still remember how to be with a girl, champ?" your friend teases, and you nudge her shoulder shyly as she and Bruce laugh.

"Aren't those things like riding a bike?" The other man asked timidly, getting a wry look from Carol.

"You know, Bruce, your innocence is admirable." Carol teases making you laugh.

"Don't be mean." You say poking her lightly in the ribs, but Bruce doesn't really care. It's been that way since college when he told you guys he was asexual. The whole thing was funny because Carol has always been very, very sexual. And they have been teasing each other about it for years.

"Ah but I won't be, I promise." She assures. "Actually, I'm much more interested in hearing about your new girlfriend."

You laugh shyly, drinking some of your beer.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

Carol laughed, her gaze running around the room before returning to you.

"Well, that blonde girl has been looking over here for a few moments. I have a girlfriend, and Bruce doesn't like sex. I guess you're the one who's going to have to talk to her."

You widened your eyes at your friend's words, looking forward quickly.

A blond woman was indeed staring at your table.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You mumble clumsily, and Carol gives a little laugh.

"That's too bad, because now that you've looked, she's going to come here." Your friend warns, and you choke on your beer when you see the girl actually getting up from the countertop.

"Carol, help me." You awkwardly whisper but your friend just laughs, and then the stranger catches up with you all.

"Hi." She greets sensually, looking up at you. You swallow dryly as your friend holds back a giggle. "Would you like to dance?"

"I-I..."

"Use your words." Carol teased lowly next to you, making the girl laugh at your clumsiness.

"Don't be shy, I don't bite." The girl added maliciously. " Unless you ask me to."

You feel your face heat up with embarrassment, and you spread your mouth open, not knowing what to say next. Carol murmurs impressed.

"Sorry, sweetie, she used to function better than that." Carol interrupts the interaction, taking pity on your distress. "I think she's taken. But if it's just a dance, we can all enjoy it together."

The girl bites her lips, seeming to consider. She takes one last look at you, and then accepts the invitation.

This is how you end up on a dance floor, trying to escape the hands of a stranger.

You remember how to dance, and the drink helps a lot. But there are hands running over your body before the woman turns around and starts rubbing against you in rhythm with the music. You feel your breath catch, the excitement of having so much intimate contact after so long reaching you completely.

"Are you sure you're taken?" She whispers against your ear, and you give a short laugh, feeling your head spin.

"Yes." You half-heartedly assure her, using all the rest of your drunken control to push her hands away from you.

The woman didn't mind, stealing a short kiss on your cheek before dancing away, swaying her hips.

Carol threw her arms around you next.

"Wow, you really are in love!" She enthusiastically shouts to be heard between the beats of the music. You laugh with flushed cheeks, saying you need to take some air.

Your friend continues to dance, pulling Bruce close, and the man laughs awkwardly as he puts his arms around the blonde. You chuckle at the scene before turning to go outdoors.

It is easier to breathe outside.

Your first action is to take your cell phone out of your pocket, and check your notifications. Your heart melts when you open a message from Wanda. It is a picture of her and the boys, lying together between a comforter. The caption reads "movie night, doesn't even look like they were jumping on the couch two minutes ago".

You stare at the picture for a few seconds after sending a heart emoji to Wanda. And then you gasp softly, realizing. You really are in love with her. Like in romance movies, and fairy tale books. But also like the real thing. Because you love Wanda's company, her sharp jokes, the way she talks and behaves and cares for everyone. You don't want to be in a bar, or meet another girl. You want to be wrapped in a comforter with Wanda and the kids.

Trying not to panic at this conclusion, you put your cell phone back in your pocket, deciding to go back inside to say goodbye to your friends.

//-//

You are trying to find a way to tell Wanda how you feel. The problem is that you are insecure, because you have no idea if she is ready for a relationship again. You don't even know if she likes women.

With so much suffering in the past months, you also don't want to face a broken heart. So you decide to wait and see how things will turn out.

It is something about the way your life is completely intertwined in Wanda's now, in the same way that she has wrapped herself around your heart that makes you sigh when you think about it everything.

You are distracted while you work, and Monica smiles because you have a smirk while tinkering in the gardens, which is clearly not related to the plants. She doesn't say anything, because it's the same way Wanda smiles when you bring her coffee, or when you two come back from lunch. She can only be excited to think how it will be to organize your wedding.

It is at lunch after group therapy that Wanda invites you to her father's wedding anniversary party. You hadn't met him yet, and a party was a good thing, because you wouldn't have all his attention on you, and it lessens your anxiety considerably.

The party will be at Wanda's father's country house, and you will be able to cross the "take a trip" goal off your therapy to-do list.

In the meantime, you prepare to see Natasha's mother.

It is a Thursday, and you set aside your lunch period for this, because you really don't want this meeting to last more than an hour.

Your mother and Melina are already in the restaurant when you arrive, and you nod politely to the woman when you sit down at the table, signaling that she doesn't need to get up.

"So, what did you want?" you ask snidely, earning a scolding from your mother. Melina doesn't seem to mind your aggressiveness however.

"Let's order something to eat first please." Your mother says before the other woman can respond. You roll your eyes, not disagreeing.

After the waitress takes your orders and leaves, you cross your arms impatiently.

"Look, I know it's hard for you to hear from me after all this time..." The woman begins.

"Hard for me?" You cut her off with irony. "No, Melina. I was not the daughter you abandoned. It was just hard for Nat not to have you around. I simply don't like you myself."

"Honey" Your mother warns, but you let out a dry laugh.

"No, really." You continue firmly. "What do you really want with me?"

Melina sighs, straightening herself in her chair.

"Your mother told me that you intend to sell Natasha's apartment." She says. "I don't approve of such a decision."

You stare at her for a moment, and then let out a laugh.

"I should have known you'd only show up for the money." You say feeling your stomach turn with anger. Melina rolls her eyes, but doesn't deny it. Your mother looks surprised that you are right.

"I gave that apartment to Natasha..."

" I beg your pardon?" you interrupt angrily, your loud tone attracting the attention of the next table. "You gave her the apartment? Are you listening to yourself now?"

"We don't need to get carried away." She asked with irritation in her eyes, drawing a nasal laugh of indignation from you. "You know I'm right."

"No, Melina." You retort seriously, lowering your tone. "Clarify for me how you can possibly think that putting an apartment full of debt in your daughter's name to escape the state, making her work two shifts to pay for everything, sets up like giving an apartment to someone?"

"You are manipulating the facts." She hits back and you nod in disbelief, closing your eyes momentarily. "I had financial problems, and Nat didn't object when I suggested..."

"She was 15." You cut in. "You forgot that little detail right? You also forgot about going to the guardianship board to emancipate your 15 year old daughter just so she could take on a debt of yours?" You asked angrily. "Oh, did you forget about Nat working in a diner throughout her teenage years to pay for everything?"

Melina clenched her jaw, glaring at you angrily. You really weren't in the least bit of patience for this conversation, and it was a good thing the waitress arrived with your orders, because you were about to turn the table.

"I am not hungry anymore." You grumble as soon as the waitress leaves and you look down at your food, your stomach turning. Then you look forward. "When I sell the apartment, I will talk to your lawyer and if you are entitled to anything, you can rest assured that it will come in the mail. Now do me a favor, and never look for me again."

After saying these words to Melina, you exchange a quick glance with your mother and get up, walking to the exit.

//-//

You are pretty upset about the whole Melina thing, but your mood improves almost immediately when Wanda invites you to visit her.

Actually, she needs help with the kids, because she's busy with a rich lady's wedding that required priority on the flower project, and the summer vacation started that week.

Monica was helping Wanda with the whole design, so you and Pietro would take care of the kids.

It was quite fun to do it, because you loved children. Pietro even had the bright idea of setting up a little lemonade stand outside Wanda's house, and while the other women were working, you and he took the kids outdoors.

"Don't you think a million dollars is a lot of money for a glass of lemonade, Billy?" you ask the boy as you watch him put several zeros on the price cardboard. Pietro laughs as he helps his daughter pin up her hair.

"I don't know." The kid tells you without stopping drawing. "I'm a kid, I've never paid anything."

You laugh, looking forward. You and Pietro are sitting on chairs placed on the grass while the children play around the lemonade stand.

When some of the neighbors buy the lemonade, you tell Billy that a gold coin is worth a million, and he doesn't argue.

The temperature rises considerably throughout the day, and around two in the afternoon you and Pietro decide that it would be good to take the kids swimming.

"Call the wives please." Pietro says to you as you stand in the living room after you two walk back in and put everything away, and he is helping the children put on bathing suits. You feel your face heat up at the innocent insinuation of Wanda being your wife, but you say nothing and he doesn't even seem to notice.

You knock on the door, then enter the office, and smile at the two women inside, who seemed to be concentrating on their own papers.

"Let's go for a quick swim girls?" You ask, ignoring the way your stomach gets butterflies when Wanda looks up at you.

Monica lets out an excited exclamation.

"Yes, please!" She says. "This room feels like an oven!"

You and Wanda laugh, and you make room for Monica to walk past you.

"Any chance you have a bathing suit in my size?" You ask Wanda next, and she bites back a smile, thoughtful.

"Let 's find out."

//-//

It is only upstairs that you realize that you have never been in Wanda's bedroom before.

All the times you have been here, you were reserved for the living room, the kitchen and the office. Except for the times you were in the twins' bedroom, and well, when you used the bathroom.

You stood still a bit past the entrance, not knowing exactly what to do with your hands as Wanda searched the closets for a bathing suit for you.

"You know you can look around right?" Wanda commented with playfulness in her speech, making you chuckle shyly.

Stepping forward, you twiddled your fingers together nervously as you looked around. You smiled at the decorations, and especially at the pictures on the dresser.

"Damn, I think I only have one pair." Wanda grumbled as she closed the closet, turning to you next, a swimsuit in her hands. "Do you want to wear it?"

You smiled wryly.

"Not if it's the only one you have." You say. "Don't worry, I'll keep my T-shirt on."

"Don't be silly, it's really hot outside. I'll lend you a bra."

Wanda leaves her swimsuit on the bed and walks over to the dresser behind you. You step aside to give her room to open the drawers.

You look quickly away from the underwear drawer, feeling your heart race at the intimacy of this moment. It only gets worse when Wanda hands you a black sports top, which she is glad to have found.

"Thank you, Wands." You mutter as you accept the garment.

You widen your eyes as Wanda begins to unbutton the shirt she is wearing, but before you have a heart attack, she flashes you a small smile and picks up the swimsuit from the bed, turning toward the bathroom as she uses her free hand to keep the shirt closed.

You take advantage of Wanda's exit to quickly take your shirt off, put on the top and then the T-shirt over it.

A moment later she returns, and your breath catches in your throat.

"This swimsuit has a tie in the back, can you help me with that?" Wanda asks distractedly as she tucks her hair into a bun. You swallow dryly, trying to keep your gaze off her exposed legs.

Wanda stands facing the dresser, watching you approach through the mirror. You ignore your uncompensated heartbeat as you stare back at her, and let out a shy smile as you lower your gaze when you notice her flushed cheeks as you stand right behind her.

Raising your fingers to the height of her back, you gently touch the skin exposed by the opening of her swimsuit. The contact makes every inch of the woman's skin shiver in front of you, and she sighs softly, the sound making your stomach turn.

You risk looking forward again, at your reflection, only to find Wanda's mouth ajar, her eyes dark. You risk dragging your fingers further inside the fabric, making her choke lightly.

Completely mesmerized by the way Wanda's body responds to your touch, you raise your other hand, trailing a finger up from the length of her coccyx to the opening of her swimsuit, watching Wanda close her fists as her cheeks redden.

You can hear the sounds of her uncompensated breathing, but you can also hear the muffled laughter from the distance downstairs, and that motivates you enough to ignore the trembling of your fingers as you zip up Wanda's swimsuit.

"W-we should go downstairs." You whisper in a hoarse voice, ignoring the urge to rip off Wanda's swimsuit.

The redhead swallows dryly before slowly turning toward you. Your faces are so close that you can feel her breath on your cheek.

"I..."

"Mommy why are you taking so long?" Billy's muffled scream coming from the backyard through the window makes you and Wanda jump in fright.

Pietro and Tommy repeat the same sentence next, and you clear your throat, taking a step back. Wanda can't keep her gaze on you as you both walk down to the pool outside.

You can only distract yourself from the feel of Wanda's skin on your fingers because you play in the pool with everyone, and these thoughts are pushed to the back of your mind for the rest of the afternoon.

It is only when you have to leave, after the children have had a bath, and are dressed in comfortable clothes in front of the television, and you have hugged Monica and Pietro goodbye that these thoughts come flooding back when you have to repeat the gesture with Wanda.

You disguise yourself, smiling politely at the couple standing behind the redhead as you let your arms circle her waist as you hug her. Resisting the urge to close your eyes and sink your face into Wanda's neck, who has her hands on your shoulders, you hold back a sigh as you pull away.

"See you on Monday." You murmur in a husky voice, and the redhead nods, her gaze falling quickly to your lips.

You think you'd better get in the car before you lose control of your body.

//-//

Startled slightly, you opened your eyes with difficulty. Someone was calling you, but it must have been very late, because you couldn't see anything in the room but the blinking light on your dresser.

Grumbling, you stretched your arm out to reach for your vibrating cell phone and answer the call.

"Hello?" you asked in a voice hoarse from sleep, closing your eyes again.

"Hey, sorry to wake you." It was Wanda, and her whiny voice made you open your eyes quickly, worried.

"Wanda? Did something happen?"

"Yeah." She agrees, sniffling softly. "I just... I'm so sad. The whole fucking time. Then Tony came over and started saying these things and now I'm crying and I can't stop. I'm sorry, it's not your problem, I shouldn't have called and..."

"I'm coming."

You think Wanda tried to say something to stop you, but you ended the call as you stood up.

"Where are you going?" Your mother asked as soon as you came downstairs, and you were startled to find her awake, but you didn't ask as you noticed the laptop in your lap.

"Wanda." You mumble simply, looking for your keys.

"Kitchen countertop." She informed and you muttered a thank you as you picked up the item from the mentioned spot. "You know, if you're going to start leaving the house at dawn to see her, it might be best to move in with her."

You chuckled awkwardly at the comment as you put on your shoes.

"Try to get some sleep, work will still be there in the morning." You tell her to change the subject, and your mother sighs, turning her attention back to the screen. "You don't have to wait up for me."

"Oh, I figured." She teases last making you roll your eyes in embarrassment before opening the door to leave.

//-//

You didn't have to knock on the door, because as soon as you parked the car and got out, you had a view of the outside garden porch, and you could see Wanda sitting on the rocking bench, looking at the ground.

You sighed, opening the garden gate to enter the backyard.

Making a noise with your feet so as not to startle her, you felt your heart squeeze as she wiped her tears away quickly, turning her head to the side. You sighed, taking a seat on the bench in front of her, rocking it slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked a moment later, and from the redhead's silence, you figured not. But she nodded next, looking down at her own feet. "Tell me what happened then."

It takes a moment, but Wanda speaks. She tells how Tony Stark showed up at her door at three in the morning, saying that he blamed himself for his brother death but that this was a good thing now because it was exactly what he needed to change his life and stop drinking, and that she punched him in the nose, saying that this was always his problem, everything was always about him. Tony promised that he would be someone decent now, that he was going to change, and Wanda just pushed him away, telling him to go change somewhere else.

"I feel like the worst person in the world right now." She grumbles as soon as she finishes narrating.

"Why?"

"Tony has been an alcoholic since he was fifteen, and he's finally getting better. I think he was in need of someone to help him."

You shook your head, letting out a short laugh.

"And why is that your problem?" you retorted, surprising her. "Wanda you are under no obligation to suppress your feelings to make others feel better. You have every right to feel angry with Tony. And to not want him in your life again."

Wanda takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a moment, as if trying to believe your words.

You bit the inside of your cheek, deciding whether to speak what you wanted to.

"Wands?" You called after her, and she looked at you. "You said you were sad. Do you want to talk about that too?"

The redhead looks away from you, a weak smile on her lips.

"I don't know how to talk about it really." She starts by looking down at her feet. "I never did."

You wait, stretching your leg out and lightly tapping your feet together with her on the floor. Wanda smiles at the movement, and then bites her lips.

"I think it started when I was a kid." She counters thoughtfully, her gaze straying to the yard around her. "Ever since mama died, or maybe before. There's this sadness, stuck in my chest. And no matter what I do, it won't go away."

You listen intently, waiting for Wanda to finish.

"When I was younger, Papa worked all day and Mama took care of me and Pietro. But she got sick, and granny came to live with us to help. I was ten when she died, and Pietro's anxiety got worse." She swallows dryly, as if the memories are choking her. "Granny didn't know how to help my brother, so I took care of him myself. And when we were in high school, she got sick too. And well, Dad didn't know what to do really, so I took care of her at home while he and Pietro worked to pay for the medications." She adds, and sniffles lightly. "I just remember being tired. All the damn time. I'd go to school, and come home, and I'd eat, and play, and watch TV, but I wasn't really there. I started to think that's how everybody else felt, because I had a normal life, and I had no reason to feel sad."

You frown slightly, but bite your tongue to keep from interrupting.

"Grandma died just before I graduated, and I barely had time to miss her, busy with college applications, and taking care of the funeral at the same time." She counters with a wry laugh, as if realizing how unfair it was that she was left to take care of everything by herself. "And then I met Vis, and he was sweet and kind and he was everything anyone could want. The perfect boyfriend, perfect friend, and brother and husband. So I choked down that sadness, because it wasn't fair that I was with someone so amazing, and I wasn't satisfied." She recounts as she lets the tears flow. "When the twins came, everyone told me that my life was complete. That children were exactly what everyone wanted, and that I had the perfect life. So I kept that image."

Wanda raises her hand to wipe away a tear that ran down her cheek, but others kept falling next.

"With Vis's death, everything started to fall apart on me." She says after a pause, biting her lips slightly to hold back the crying. She lets out a nasal laugh next. "But I wasn't going to let that happen, so I gathered the pieces together. I put a smile on my face and continued to be the mother my children needed. And then I met you."

You frown in confusion, but Wanda does not look at you. She runs her hands through her hair, shaking her head slightly.

"You came into my life at its worst possible moment. And all you did was make me feel better again." Wanda declared with a sigh, and you felt your cheeks heat up, looking away to your feet. "You don't expect me to be happy, or polite, or sociable. You don't care that I get cranky and irritable, that I wanted to skip work or eat junk food." She counters, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I feel like I can breathe again, because when you look at me you don't judge me like everyone else. You just listen, and observe. And take care of me."

You sigh, impacted by the intensity of the confessions. You think that if you keep quiet long enough, Wanda can hear your heart beating fast.

The redhead takes a deep breath, twisting her fingers slightly before speaking again.

"That's why I called." She counters in a sigh. Her eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn't let them fall. "You've been the only person who makes me feel this way. And when Tony came along I felt I was drowning into those terrible thoughts again. I needed you to pull me back up."

You raise your head to Wanda, but she is looking down at the floor, her cheeks flushed. You smile, rising to sit beside her.

"I will." You whisper as you interlace your fingers, looking forward. Wanda stares at your entwined hands before leaning her head on your shoulder.

"Thank you." She murmurs a moment later.

"Don't mention it." You reply in the same tone.

You stand like this for many minutes, Wanda wiggling your fingers together. You are about to close your eyes when a childish voice startles you a little.

"Mommy?" it's Billy, dressed in adorable teddy bear pajamas, scratching his eyes sleepily. "Why are you out here?"

Wanda looks at him in surprise.

"Come here dear." Wanda asks signaling with her free hand for Billy to approach. The boy yawns, walking over to you two. You mess up his hair as Wanda releases her hand to sit her son on her own lap.

"Why are you here, Y/N?" The boy asks sleepily, making you and Wanda smile at how cute he looks.

"I am a friend of your mother's, Billy, I come whenever she needs me." You reply with a smile, trying not to be affected by the way Wanda looks at you.

"You should come more often, y/n. Mom is happy when you are around." Billy declares causing Wanda to let out a surprised exclamation, and you feel your heart race.

"Oh, really?" You tease with a little smile, and Wanda pushes her shoulder against yours lightly. "I promise I'll visit more often then."

"You can live here!" Billy exclaims excitedly next, making you laugh in surprise.

"Don't be silly, Billy." Wanda adds embarrassed. "We don't have a room."

"She can sleep with you mommy." Billy retorts as if it's obvious, "Daddy's not here anymore, and your bed is too big, because it fits Tommy and me together!"

You swallow dryly, surprised and embarrassed at the way Billy is casual above all, but mostly worried that this comparison might have hurt Wanda. But she lets out a little laugh, shaking her head.

"It's time for bed, enough of this talk" Wanda warns the boy next, getting up with him on her lap.

You accompany the two of them into the house, waiting until Wanda comes downstairs after putting Billy to bed.

Billy's words in your head were still echoing when Wanda suggested that you sleep in her bed after she came downstairs, and part of you wanted to, but you figured that night wasn't the best time. So you slept on the couch, and left after breakfast, ignoring how warm your chest felt at the image of the table with Wanda and the twins having coffee.

//-//

Your first stop after leaving Wanda's house was the cemetery.

Taking a deep breath, you stared at the memorial stone in the ground. The small photograph of Natasha carved into the stone.

"I miss you, pchelka" You whispered softly, leaving your hands in your pockets as you looked down. Your chest hurt less than the first time you came here, but the pain was still there. You imagined that it always would be. "I won't ever stop. But I want to live again. I hope you won’t be mad at me, from wherever you are, and understand that."

Part of you knew that Natasha would be happy for you. It was one of the reasons you loved her so much.

Kneeling down, you pulled out of your pocket the items you had left in the car's glove box a few days ago, planning to do this since the day of the bar.

" This belongs to you." You whispered, after digging in the grass next to the headstone, and pulling out of the small wrapping your wedding rings. You placed the metal in the dirt, along with the daffodil seeds you brought with you. Using some of the water from the bottle you had in your hands, you watered after burying the items. "Rest in peace, my love."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #wanda x yn #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #sorry for your loss

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taybatwo2 · 3 years ago

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My customized The Professor from Watcher’s Puppet History. His eyes are a bit too far apart here, so I might change that later (the picture I was using as reference had him looking pretty wall eyed). I also might add more hairy fluff to his eyebrows to make them look furry-er. Also, the original Professor has his glasses pushed farther down on his nose. He lives on my history/world mythology bookshelf, when not traveling through time to escape a wrathful genie. And hopefully he will escape the t-Rex in time for next season. I mostly followed Aaron McGuire‘s YouTube video on how to make him.

#the professor #puppet history #watcher entertainment #professor puppet #custom puppet #custom professor #craftsbyaleta #aleta’s toys

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lxngbottom · 4 years ago

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Mute | N.L.

in which the reader doesn’t talk, and neville tries to change that.

warnings: bullying, swearing, mentions of mental illness/anxiety, some angst (let me know if there are more!)

word count: 2,298

thank you for all of the love on my last two one shots!! it means so much ty ty okay now enjoy

—

“trauma, maybe? my dad’s friend who’s a muggle doctor said that trauma can completely change a person.”

there the three boys were again, sitting at the gryffindor table in the great hall, trying to understand the girl who would always sit ways away from everyone else.

“maybe she’s just really shy!” dean quickly replied, shooting down seamus’s suggestion. seamus shrugged, and took a large gulp of his morning pumpkin juice.

“no! longbottom is “shy”, but y/n? i haven’t heard her say one single thing since second year.”

neville listened in on his friend’s conversation, only letting his eyes leave them when he went to take quick glances at the girl of the hour.

y/n was to put it into simple terms... mute. it was very difficult to hear her utter a single vowel, let along a whole statement. everyone at hogwarts knew that she was not just quiet or shy, but completely silent. people wondered how one person could go without speaking for so long. she was a bit jittery, seemingly nervous all the time. if someone shot a single look at her and she noticed, she would look away without even giving the person a chance to smile or wave.

weirdly, she had always been this way. since the first day of first year, she kept to herself, not even attempting on taking the chance of getting to know someone who might become a life long friend. it really got under people’s skin when they asked her a question, and she just simply wouldn’t respond. so, this caused for students to completely avoid her. it seemed that it was a collective agreement among the school that no one should even try speaking to her. and that was because, again, they would never get a reply.

out of these students, neville longbottom seemed to be the most intrigued. he would never forget the first time he heard her speak. it was one day in third year, of course neville was clumsily making his way down the hallway. as he did so, he didn’t notice that y/n was walking straight for him. and of course, she didn’t notice him either until they both crashed into each other’s bodies. neville fell back onto the ground, letting a small huff escape from his lips. surrounding students cackled at the two as they continued walking. when he looked up, he saw the panic in her eyes and the way she quickly reached down to get her books.

“uh—merlin... sorry about that...” he stuttered, reaching down as well to help her. she glanced at him, but quickly looked away when he noticed. of course, she stayed silent. “are you alright?”

she nodded her head, and stood up with the books in her hand. “yeah. thanks.” and with that, she rushed away from him, not even giving him a chance to say one more word.

he would never forget it. the way her voice was so soft and fragile. he had honestly wished he could hear it more.

admittedly, neville felt bad for her. every time he looked at her, something nagged at him about the girl. every time she got called out in class to answer a question, he would panic for her as her face would drop.

she looked so lonely. she would sit in the back of the class always. he had seen her in the library quite often, just reading, sitting all alone at a table. he hated that she seemed so alone.

he wanted to change that.

—

the day was quiet. only the sounds of birds outside and the wind blowing through the trees on the castle grounds. saturdays were always the perfect days for going to the library, studying, or just to read a good book. that was y/n’s plans consisted of most of the time.

y/n made her way through the large halls, waving discreetly to the paintings on the wall. it seemed as if the lively pictures were the only people that ever respected her, told her hello as she walked by.

her fingers were tightly grasped around two books, as she was planning on returning both of them. her face didn’t show it, but she was quite excited to find two more books to add to her reading list. reading had always been considered an easy escape to y/n. pages filled with so many words, but told so many different stories. stories about love, heartbreak, dragons, princesses, noble wizards, y/n enjoyed all of it.

as she daydreamed about her next book, she hadn’t noticed the small group of students exchanging glances and laughing as they saw her approaching. before she knew it, her books were being slapped out of her hand, and hit the ground with a loud noise.

she looked up finally and saw draco malfoy standing right in front of her, hands in his pockets, chuckling with all of his friends from his choice of action against her.

“you gotta be quicker than that, mute!” he teased, and y/n bent down to grab the two books. when she stood up and met eyes with him again, he shook his head at her. “can’t think of a good comeback? or are you just too scared to say anything?”

she held the books tight to her chest, trembling from malfoy’s presence.

“thought so. see you around, mute.” he spat her way, but not forgetting to bump into her figure as he walked away, his friends following behind him.

y/n sighed, and turned around to make sure they were completely gone.

she started her journey once again, making her way to her sanctuary that people called the library.

when she arrived, she returned her books to madam prince silently, and this didn’t shock the librarian whatsoever. she was used to y/n coming in, checking out countless books, and checking them out and returning them muted.

as y/n skimmed the aisles, she came to the conclusion that she would once again read one of her favorite books. she had read it about seven times, but she could never get over how beautifully written it was. it was truly the best thing she had ever laid her eyes on, and she knew she would probably read it once more after this time around.

but when she went over the familiar bookshelf, the book in question wasn’t in the place it always was. she furrowed her eyes brows, and checked the rest of the shelves near just to make sure it hadn’t been misplaced. but of course, it was no where to be found.

malfoy had provided her with a sour experience already that day, and now she couldn’t even check out her favorite book? she already knew where this day was going, and she frowned in disappointment at the thought.

y/n had settled on some other fantasy novel that seemed to acquire to her taste. she checked it out, and made her way to the back of the library. she always went where it was secluded, almost no one else but her present. but little did she know, behind all the shelves she was walking by, someone followed her.

she finally found a small table to sit down at, and she did so with relief. it always made her so nervous to think that she might have to actually sit with other people one day. but luckily, that day wasn’t today. or so she thought.

because as a few minutes went by, and her eyes were glued to the book pages in front of her, she heard a chair being pushed. she looked up, and met eyes with neville longbottom. he shot her a small smile before speaking,

“can i sit here? it’s okay if not, everywhere else just feels a bit stuffy.”

she stared at his features for a moment, thinking back to the day when she bumped into him in the hallway. she gave him a single nod, and luckily, he didn’t miss it.

as he sat down in front of her, she gulped heavily. she hated being around others, even in a peaceful place such as a library.

a few minutes went by, the silence filling in the gap between the two. neville would glance at her a few times over his book, and she seemingly seemed lost in her own world. but at some point, she finally did look away from the words on the pages. she looked at the book he was “reading”, and noticed the familiar cover. if she hadn’t caught herself, she would’ve let out an audible gasp.

he had her book.

she seemed to be staring for too long, because neville looked at her.

“have you read this before?” he suddenly asked, snapping her back into reality. “it’s actually pretty good. i’m not big on fantasy, but this isn’t too bad.”

yeah, it’s an amazing book. she knew that very well.

but of course, she didn’t express that into words for neville. she only snapped her eyes back to her book, and neville frowned a bit.

did he say something wrong? he thought for sure that this was her favorite book. i mean, he had seen her with it more times than he could keep track of, so he could only assume.

“what’s that you’re reading? is it good?”

she looked up at him through hooded eyes, still not budging.

“well, anyways... i’m more of a herbology book lover. i love learning new things about plants. i think it’s really cool...”

y/n felt herself becoming confused, and almost bothered. she knew who neville was, but couldn’t understand why he was attempting to spark a conversation with her.

“i noticed that you like to read,” he mentioned, and y/n finally looked at him fully. “i mean—i see you here a lot, and you’re always reading from what i can tell. what’s your favorite genre?”

as neville attempted to get the girl to speak, he closed his book without looking. he realized that was a mistake when the heavy book closed onto his finger, and he let out a loud yelp.

as much as y/n tried, she couldn’t hold in the small giggle that fell from her lips. she covered her mouth in an attempt to hide it, but neville’s ears caught it.

“oh, you think my suffering is funny, huh?” neville joked, smiling out of triumph. she hadn’t spoke, but she laughed. and neville swore it was the most angelic thing he had ever heard.

she shook her head at his question, her cheeks turning a dark red from embarrassment. she had hoped he was okay, but nonetheless, it was funny.

the whole time they were in the library, neville rambled on about random things. he had brought up his interests in plants, making sure not to over explain his love for them. he talked about books, and random things that had happened to him and his friends during his time at hogwarts. he was making it his number one goal to get her to talk at least once.

but as darkness began to fall, and as curfew approached quicker and quicker by the minute, he hadn’t succeeded. he was quite shy at the fact that he had just sat in the library all day rambling to someone who never even spoke back. she had seemed to be listening, which took him by surprise. he had never had someone to listen to him as he spoke, let along not interrupt him in a conversation.

as much as she hated to admit it, y/n had a good time herself. she loved the way neville talked, how he explained things so deeply and with so much detail. he never seemed to miss a beat in a conversation, even if it was practically with himself. it made her realize that she wish she had the strength to speak. she wished she could respond to his questions without feeling her stomach churning.

the two left the library, their bags draped over their shoulders as they walked. y/n still had two books clutched into her hand, as she has checked out a random herbology book before leaving. neville smiled when she did so, feeling giddy inside that he had managed to spark an interest in her.

“that book is really good! it’s all about water plants! which are really cool, by the way. you should read up on gillyweed! it’s this really cool plant that—“ when he went to ramble on once more, he stopped himself. “never mind. i think i’ve talked a bit too much, today. wouldn’t you agree?”

for some reason, y/n wanted him to keep talking. it filled the silence that she considered her serenity, and she enjoyed every last word he spoke.

“well... i think this is where we part ways. do you need me to walk you back?” he asked, secretly hoping that she would say yes. but, she shook her head no. he was greatly dissatisfied, but, he tried his best to understand.

“oh, okay. well... goodnight, y/n. maybe we can hang out in the library some other time.”

he smiled at her, not expecting a word, but only catching a glimpse at the red that rose to the tips of her ears.

neville began to walk away, feeling a bit defeated.

suddenly, something that neville never wouldn’t expected:

“goodnight.”

he stopped in his place, and turned around. she covered her mouth with her books, but neville could tell that she was smiling. he couldn’t believe that the word had left her mouth.

“goodnight, y/n.” he repeated, and she shot him a smile before walking in the other direction. a genuine smile. the first one he had ever seen besides from her giggling.

he wanted to hear that voice, and those giggles more than she could ever have guessed.

#harry potter #neville longbottom #neville longbottom imagine #neville x reader #neville longbottom smut #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut

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