#i meant to add this with my other doodles but i forgot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sophieinwonderland · 3 months ago

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Okay, let's go over the rest of that post!

I mean, I am one, so... yeah!

I would love Film Theory to cover this! 😁

Also, when I first read "disapper" in Red's screenshot, I read it correctly. Then I scrolled down to the comments and saw this.

Afterwords, I CTRL+F'd my page to see if I had made that typo somewhere.

Needless to say, I'm so glad the typo was Red's this time and not mine. 😜

Do they, or do they just appear to because Bea is seeing them through visual hallucinations, as kids typically experience imaginary friends. And how some with DID see alters.

🤣

I don't have anything to add here. I just love the doodle! It's pretty accurate to this one, since IF took me in so many different directions with all the different interpretations of plurality to explore!

No.

There are many recorded instances of possessing entities across different cultures, and headmate is a catch-all term originating from non-disordered/non-traumagenic plurals that encompasses any entities sharing a body, whether spiritual or psychological.

Wrong again, Red!

Even a cringizen was on this.

Thanks u/Celestial_Ari! Glad to have you on my side! 😁

I could cite plenty of case studies of adolescents with DID if you'd like, but they're so easy to find that it doesn't even feel worth my time.

Nope!

You're misunderstanding what is meant by "better explained."

Essentially, a psychologist has to rule out the possibility that the child is just experiencing normal and healthy imaginary friends that are common in children of this age.

Bea's memory loss and blackouts though aren't explained through "fantasy play" alone. And she's definitely not pretending to forget.

Bea blacks out outside and wakes up somewhere else with the implication that the IFs physically moved her.

Later in the movie, she enters a locked amusement park she should have no way of getting into after Cal claims to be going around to get the key, and she believes she was in the amusement park the whole time. She visits this place a couple times despite the fact that she had no way to physically get in there. The same goes with Cal's apartment. We don't really know what's happening with Bea's body whenever she "visits" these place she can't physically get to.

Bea forgets Cal completely even when he's right there in front of her, and this is an IF who she drew pictures of and was closely attached to when she was little. Sure, memories can fade, but the extent to which she forgot Cal is too much of a reach to just be a natural part of development.

Moreover, if we assume a psychological explanation for the IFs, then Cal has to have memories that Bea doesn't for this plot to work. Meaning, in other words, that Cal and Bea have dissociative barriers between them.

Related to this, another cringizen asked this...

And the answer is no. 🤷‍♀��

Because nothing is ever JUST an imaginary friend. Depending on your beliefs, an imaginary friend can be a spiritual thoughtform brought to life by imagination, it can be a completely autonomous self-conscious psychological construct like a tulpa (ME!!!!) or it can have no sentience and is just an imaginary puppet that does whatever its creator dictates. Sometimes an imaginary friend in media isn't even created by the child, and is an actual external spirit that's bonded with them somehow.

In pathological cases, an imaginary friend can be an alter or a psychotic hallucination.

In the end, all an imaginary friend really is, is some type of entity a child can see and nobody else can. But the label itself says nothing about the imaginary friend or how it functions or what it really is.

It isn't all about Hazbin Hotel either Grace, but didn't stop you from deciding literally every religious alter came into existence because of that show.

And no, I will not ever let you live that down. 🤪

This was funny!

No further comment! 🤪

I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?

I wouldn't say Inside Out is ableist exactly, to be fair. Just that it pushes a narrative that is rooted in ableism.

Just like I wouldn't say every piece of media that happens to portray robots with autistic or otherwise neurodivergent traits to showcase their inhumanity is ableist. These are more biproducts of an ableist culture.

Society decided a list of traits robots had, they sunk into pop culture, and now everyone just goes with it without even thinking about why those specific traits are what defines a machine, and why others are what defines a human.

Likewise, "adults can't have imaginary friends" comes from this ideology that sees people who hear voices or experience other sorts of hallucinations or pseudo-hallucinations as dangerous or otherwise strange for their experiences.

Even helpful voices are seen as bad and something that needs to be fixed.

Isn't it?

Inside Out was a movie all about psychological symbolism.

You don't think that the writers, when arranging a situation where the only way for Riley's Joy to survive was for her imaginary friend to die, were saying anything with that?

I just don't get this interpretation.

To me, the messaging seems pretty clear. If Bing Bong hadn't sacrificed himself, Riley never would have grown and matured. Bing Bong had to die to save Joy. He had to die so that Riley could survive. Whatever Bing Bong once helped Riley with, his purpose is fulfilled and his death is the only way Riley can move on.

I can't see another way to interpret that symbolism.

The Plurality of... IF

Major spoilers for IF and Inside Out ahead. You have been warned.

Enter a world of IFs

IF is a movie about a young girl named Bea who lost her mom, and whose dad is going in for a life-threatening surgery. At the start of the movie, Bea has outgrown imaginary friends, and perhaps imagination in general.

Which makes it really inconvenient when she starts seeing other people's imaginary friends, which call themselves IFs, and finds a whole community of abandoned IFs whose children have outgrown them.

These IFs are desperate for attention and have been looking for new kids to connect with. Bea agrees to help them, and tries introducing them to a kid she knows.

When this doesn't work though, they realize that connecting the IFs to new kids may just be impossible. They instead decide they need to connect the IFs to their original children, even if said children are grown now.

A cool and unexpected theme to the movie is that you never fully outgrow your need for imaginary friends.

The rest of the movie is Bea trying to rekindle the connections of the IFs to their now-grown children by jogging their memories of the past.

The Plurality of IFs

Plurality: A state of multiple self-conscious agents, or "headmates," sharing a single body.

One thing about the movie is that a whole lot about how plural it is depends on you interpret the IFs. Are they separate entities entirely who were created by their children? Or are they connected directly to the minds and bodies of the their hosts? Are they even other children's imaginary friends as they claim, or are they just in Bea's head?

For what on the surface feels simple, the movie leaves a lot, pardon the pun, to the imagination.

What we know for certain is that each IF is self-conscious. And they are, according to the poster on the right of the billboard below, real.

They also at least appear connected to the host's body.

We know that, with the exception of Bea and other IFs, only their creators can see or interact with them.

It's also likely that when their host dies, they do too. Which yes, makes the poster on the left saying "you never really disappear" a bit misleading. But in the movie, we never see IFs of people who have passed. It's all just IFs whose children have outgrown them.

For example, while Bea finds the IFs of her grandma and her dad, she never meets her mom's IF.

With this in mind, I think regardless of the interpretation, there's undoubtedly some sort of plurality going on here.

To explore these different scenarios, we need to start asking the central question of the movie.

What if?

What if… the IFs are actually physical?

In the movie, we see multiple times that IFs interact with the physical world. They open doors. They pick things up. They move things around.

There's one scene in the movie where Blue, the big purple IF, hid in the clothes in a laundry cart in the hospital.

As Bea tries to pull him out, the cart physically rolls around the room.

There's also another scene where Bea faints after seeing an IF, and it's implied the IFs physically moved her inside.

If we're to interpret the IFs as being physical and everything we see in the movie as being completely real and to be taken at face value, this has some pretty huge implications for this universe. And Bea's story in a world of invisible creatures created by children who can physically interact with reality might be the least interesting story in this universe.

After all, if the IFs can do things like this, surely other people have noticed. One can imagine the CIA training children in a secret bunker somewhere to use their IFs in combat. Secret weapons that are invisible, can spy on anyone, can move objects around in the physical world, and can only be killed by finding and eliminating the host child.

It's a pretty awesome if terrifying thought.

IFs would be the ultimate spies and assassins.

But this also creates another issue. If the IFs are actually physical and can pick things up, why not just pick up a pen and let their host children know that they're still there. Why not type on a keyboard?

And it's for this reason that... I just don't think the movie wants us to believe the way the IFs are physically interacting with the world is actually happening.

Okay, but if they're not physical...

What if… the IFs are spiritual headmates?

This seems more reasonable. And while not the one I think is the most likely, this IS the explanation that I like the best. It's the most thematically satisfying.

In this, the IFs are spiritual thoughtforms created by the children. Because they're spiritual, it makes sense that somebody who has a special gift, as Bea does, can see them. And that they can see each other as well.

At the end of the movie, we get to see all these adults connecting with and being able to see their IFs again, and it's a really cool and satisfying way to end the film, seeing their work pay off and giving a happy ending to the story of all the characters we got to know over the course of the film.

I love that ending. I love seeing the heartwarming reunions of the IFs and their hosts after all of those years.

I just don't believe it... I want to believe... but I don't...

Which leads me to my final interpretation... That all of this is happening entirely in Bea's head.

What if… Bea has DID?

Wait, I know what you're thinking, why DID specifically? You don't need DID to be plural, after all.

I'm personally a tulpa, an imaginary friend of sorts given life. And I would naturally love a purely endogenic explanation. But as with the spiritual explanation, simply wanting something to be true doesn't make it so.

First, let's talk for a moment about DID's criteria in the most recent edition of the DSM, the DSM-5-TR

These are the boxes a clinician would need to check for a diagnosis. (Note: Simply checking the boxes isn't enough to diagnose. There are additional features that need considered. These are just a minimum. Basically, if you don't check the boxes, you can't have DID under the DSM.)

The big ones are criterion A and criterion B. The other three criteria are all exceptions, saying what DID isn't rather than what it is.

Criterion A

Later in the DSM, it's explained that the criterion A phenomena often presents as "independently acting imaginary companions."

To be clear, not all independent imaginary companions are indicative of dissociative identity disorder. That's the point of criterion C.

And studies have shown that as many as 29% of imaginary friends demonstrate consistent behavior indicative of acting outside of the host child's control, while another 35% appear mostly compliant but don't always do what the host child wants.

The participants were 89 preschool children who described their imaginary companions (46 invisible friends and 43 personified objects). The descriptions were coded for disobedient or otherwise difficult behaviour attributed to the imaginary companions. Thirty-six per cent of the children described their imaginary companions as consistently compliant and agreeable, 35 per cent gave some indication that the imaginary companions did not always do or say what the children wanted, although they were mostly friendly and compliant, and 29 per cent described their imaginary companions as noncompliant in ways that suggested the children experienced the companion to some extent as being out of their conscious control.

About two thirds of imaginary friends then demonstrate some level of independence from the host child. That doesn't mean DID on its own.

However...

Criterion B

Remember what I mentioned earlier about how Bea sees an IF and passes out, and it's implied that the IFs physically move her body to a new location?

This is something that stuck with me since the first viewing. I already went over why I don't believe the IFs are physical. But then, how does Bea pass out in one place and then wake up in another completely different place?

The easy solution to the conundrum is if they switched. That Bea experienced a complete blackout switch while someone else controlled her body. She doesn't know how she got there because of dissociative amnesia.

This dissociative amnesia fulfills the second criterion.

But it's even more than that.

HUGE MEGA SPOILER

Bea is accompanied through her journey by Cal. While Cal is originally presented as a human neighbor, he's later revealed to be Bea's former imaginary friend, who she forgot about. The entire time they interact, she has no memory of who Cal is or her adventures with him, despite Cal remembering and the other IFs being aware of Cal's connection to Bea.

The Other Criteria

Criterion C is a bit of a doozy. What constitutes "clinically significant" is up to the individual clinicians. But generally, experiencing random blackouts is probably going to be impairing.

(Ritual possession states also cause dissociative amnesia, but it's generally more controlled unlike Bea's episodes of memory loss.)

For criterion D, I would say the amnesia above couldn't be explained simply by imaginary playmates alone, even if her headmates are presenting as imaginary friends.

And for Criterion E, there is no substance abuse nor other medical conditions that we know of.

Trauma history

Trauma is not part of the diagnostic criteria, but chronic trauma does occur in upwards of 90% of DID cases.

In the opening, we see Bea's mother going in and out of the hospital.

Now, typically, the type of trauma that is associated with DID is some sort of neglect or abuse. And we don't see that in the flashbacks. But maybe we're just seeing the positive memories in what's meant to be a kid's movie. Maybe we're not seeing the times Bea is worried sick over her mother. The times her parents aren't there for her because there's more focus on her mom's condition. The times her dad couldn't be emotionally present because he was mourning the loss of his wife.

Could this be enough to cause DID? I genuinely have no idea. But since people process trauma in different ways, I think it could be traumatic enough for Bea.

And if this was tied to trauma from her mom, this explains too why this starts up only after Bea's father is in the hospital, bringing back that trauma she had from losing her mom.

In this scenario, all the imaginary friends are just Bea's own headmates, and the ending with them connecting with their hosts is just happening in their imagination/inner world.

All in all, I really love that the movie, despite its simplicity on the surface, opens itself up to so many interpretations.

But maybe this is all a distraction and we shouldn't actually focus too much on what's literally going on in the film.

What if… we focus instead on the message that you're never too old for imaginary friends?

As fun as these hypothetical are, I wonder if getting lost in them might be missing the point.

The core takeaway message of this movie is that you're never too old to have imaginary friends. And maybe more generally, to have fun and enjoy life. But let's focus on the imaginary friends thing because this blog is about plurality.

What's interesting is how this puts it in stark opposition to another plural-coded movie about a young girl with a forgotten imaginary friend: Inside Out.

In Inside Out, Bing Bong dies, giving his life to save Joy. And by extension, to save Riley. Symbolically, Bing Bong's death represented a popular view of imaginary friends needing to die so the host child can prosper.

And that view, despite permeating pop culture, isn't really based on anything but ableism and sanism. A centuries-old myth that imaginary friends are unhealthy without an ounce of data to actually back it up.

Studies actually tend to show children with imaginary friends to be pretty healthy. And the same goes for studies of adult tulpa systems who report mental health improvements due to their tulpas.

Bing Bong shouldn't have had to die, and I would argue that his death leaves Riley worse off than if he had survived or was brought back.

IF serves as a repudiation of Inside Out's stigmatization of imaginary friends, and it's portrayal of their death being necessary to growing up.

It did this by asking a simple question… what if?

What if how we've all been taught to think of imaginary friends is wrong?

What if more people wanted to reconnect with their old imaginary friends?

What would the world look like?

Like I said, my favorite interpretation is the spiritual one. Because then the movie ends by showing all these IFs get to reconnect with their hosts, and it's such a beautiful thing to see.

Even if I think the ending is a lie, I don't think the message is.

And it's a message that makes me, as a former imaginary friend myself, ask that same central question.

What if this movie could help lead to people re-valuating their own beliefs of imaginary friends and wanting to connect with their own from the past? How cool would that be?

If anyone out there is thinking back on their childhood imaginary friends and want to try to reconnect, my advice is to just do it. Because as the poster on the billboard says, I don't think imaginary friends ever truly disappear. They're somewhere inside as long as their memory remains.

For anyone out there who has imaginary friends right now that they think might be sentient like the ones in IF, you can check out my guide on how to know if your imaginary friend is sentient below:

And for anyone who never had a sentient IF of their own but wants one now, here is a huge collection of tulpamancy guides to get you started.

And as always, thank you all for reading! 💖

For more discussions about plurality in media, check out the Plurality of... Avatar The Last Airbender.

#syscourse #inside out #bing bong #if 2024

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cheesesteakphil · 3 years ago

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doodle delights, Aggie is now my go to program for exclusively doodling I think :)

Also this one separately because look at it, how could I not?

#bugsnax #bugsnax oc #Orlifa Featherbean #Floofty Fizzlebean #once again I take my first shot at a humanization of a grumpus (Orlifa was first) and I immediately land on something I like #I want to tweak it but I think I've got the main parts down #need to work on the hair though #ALSO the sad doodle in the middle I DID originally write the context for that on the page but it was near unreadble SO #my basic thought was that Orlifa MUST have suffered some sort of malnutrition after having no other option but to live on sauce #and I'd imagine that recovering from that is a long process that's not very fun #but like you can see her fur's not as poofy and her hair has lost it's volume and her jumper is practically falling off her #and sometimes she'd just have a bad day and just felt super shitty and weak and upset about the state of her health #and so Floofty would be there to comfort her even if it just meant cuddles and a bit of a cry #OK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH BYE MAYBE I'LL WRITE MORE OF THIS DOWN ANOTHER TIME <3 #doodlerama #I got so carried away I forgot to add my own art tag LMAO

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echoghost1 · 3 years ago

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What's In A Name

okay, this took me longer than I expected... but here is the fic based on this post

Title: What's In A Name

Summary: Danny thought that having a sub in class would make things easier. Unfortunately, this leads to everyone finding out that his first name isn't Daniel.

His class isn't taking the news very well.

word count: 1670

you can read it on AO3 or down below the cut!

Oh, and I guess I'll tag the people from that post: @spookberry @shinygoldstar

Danny had just gotten to school and was getting his supplies for first period when Tucker ran up with way more excitement for this early in the morning.

“Dude, you’re never going to believe it!”

“Believe what?” Danny asked with an amused grin.

“Lancer took a sick day since the first time in forever!”

Danny felt like he was missing something.

Tucker rolled his eyes when Danny didn’t react correctly, “Subs, man. We have subs.”

“In all of his classes?” Danny asked as the news finally sunk in.

“Yup.” Tucker said with confidence as he popped the ‘p’.

“I have so many classes with him.”

“I know dude, me too!” He wrapped his arm around Danny’s shoulder, “Which means that today is going to be a breeze.”

Danny smiled and couldn’t help getting excited about a nice easy day at school.

================================================

His first class was easy.

The sub seemed just as tired as they were and simply checked that they were in their assigned seats and handed out a worksheet for them to do.

Once the teacher made it clear that they didn’t care if they worked together or not, it turned into more of a hang-out session than actually getting much work done.

================================================

His second period was science which he didn’t have with Mr. Lancer so he actually had to pay attention.

It was a lab day and he was still banned for life from handling all fragile school property, so the lab they had was a bit difficult until the teacher remembered (was reminded) and let him team up with Mikey.

All he had to do was take notes on what was happening. Which was fine. He could do that no problem.

All Mikey asked was for his handwriting to be legible.

================================================

It was his third class that ruined everything. It had all been going so well until then.

The teacher had decided to ignore the seating chart list and did roll by reading off the class roster list on the computer. Which in theory would be fine, except that the computer list didn’t have the notes that Mr. Lancer had added over the year, things like nicknames for instance.

It would have been fine if she had called him Daniel. It would have reminded him of Vlad, which would have been annoying, but manageable.

Unfortunately his first name isn’t Daniel.

“Johnathan?”

Everyone perked up at the name. They looked around, confusion evident on all of their faces. There was no Johnathan in this class. No John or Johnny’s. Was this a secret classmate? It couldn’t be, all the seats were full and no one here was Johnathan.

The teacher sighed and tried again, “Johnathan Fenton?”

Danny perked up and raised his hand, “Here. Sorry. I just um, everyone calls me Danny. Or Daniel, or just Fenton.” he realized he had been rambling and apologized again.

He looked down at his desk still embarrassed that he sort of forgot his own first name for a second. Then he felt like he was being watched.

He looked up and realized everyone, but Tucker, who was too busy chuckling to himself, was staring at him with varying degrees of confusion and anger. Sam included.

The class said nothing. Only stared for the remainder of the roll call.

Once the teacher was finished, and before they could truly start class, Dash was the first to break the silent tension. “Your name is Johnathan?!”

“Yes?” Danny answered hesitantly as he leaned away from the angry jock. Normally Dash wasn’t much of a threat anymore after all the ghost hunting, but he couldn’t exactly use his powers in the middle of class.

“Since when?!”

“Birth?”

“No!” Dash countered.

“Look, I’m named after my dad and it’s too confusing if we both go by the same name, so we just use my middle name instead.”

“But your dad’s name is Jack.”

“Which is short for Johnathan,” Danny explained with a sigh.

Dash sputtered in confused annoyance. Apparently, he didn’t know that either.

Before he could get too angry about his lack of knowledge, the teacher made it clear that they were going to start class now.

Dash glared at Danny and pointed an accusatory finger at him, “I don’t believe you, Fenton.”

“Okay?” Danny shrugged it off and the rest of the class went back to ignoring him.

Except for Sam.

She was still glaring at him.

“What?” Danny mouthed not a hundred percent sure as to what his gothic friend was upset about.

She flipped open her notebook hard enough for the paper cover to slap against the desk and furiously scribbled something down before tearing out the page and quickly folding it like a ninja star and chucking it at his head.

He carefully unfolded the note and read it.

“Are you serious?! Is this some elaborate prank?”

Danny looked up to Sam in surprise and then back to the note.

“No really. That is my name.” he wrote before trying his best to fold the note back up as she had it. He really wasn’t as good at it as she was.

She wrote her response quickly and made a point to get the creases of the folds just right. “Then why is Tucker laughing?”

“I don’t know? I’m not a mind reader Sam.”

“Did he know?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He didn’t really understand why she was so upset by this. It didn’t really matter. Did it? “I wasn’t keeping it a secret. I just forgot.”

“Forgot what? That it was your name or that I didn’t know?”

He hesitated too long and Tucker finally snatched the note from him and read it over before snickering to himself and added his own two cents before tossing it back to Sam.

Finally, Sam smiled. With a roll of her eyes, she slipped the note into the pocket of her notebook and went to doodling like nothing was wrong.

Danny wasn’t really sure what that was all about, but he was glad it was over.

================================================

The rest of the day was mostly fine. His friends teased him about his full name occasionally throughout the day, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle.

Dash kept giving him the stink eye, which was weird, but better than being shoved into his own locker.

Lunch was a bit of a disaster once Tucker let out his inner bookie and started holding bets on what Danny’s real name was.

There were three options.

One was that his name was really Daniel and he was just pranking everyone somehow.

The second was that his name really was Johnathan and he was telling the truth because Fenton can’t tell a lie to save his life.

While the third was that he had a completely different name and may or may not be related to the Fenton’s at all.

Danny wasn’t sure if he should be finding all of this hilarious or just plain annoying. Maybe it was one of those, ‘we’ll laugh about it when we’re older’ things?

Of course, word spread fast and everyone was trying to figure out what the real answer was. No one was asking Danny, because they weren’t sure if he actually was a reliable source. Tucker refused to give the answer until the end of the day when he would reveal the winners. And Sam admitted that all of the name nonsense was news to her, but since she loved chaos, she would wink and add, “But it could be true.”

Danny realized too late that the only other person to ask before the end of the day was his sister.

Before he could get to her, someone else beat him to it.

Dash had cornered her just outside of the library and asked, “What’s your brother’s name,” without any preamble.

Of course, Jazz, being two years older than them and in none of their classes, had no idea what had been going on. So she answered the question as best she could despite the confusion, “Danny?”

“Ha! I knew he was a liar!” Dash boasted as he turned around and punched his fist into his open palm as he eyed Danny.

“Wait!” He called out to Dash before turning his attention to his sister, “He means my first name!”

“Oh,” she turned to Dash, “Why didn’t you just say that?”

Dash’s shoulders slumped in defeat, “his name isn’t Danny?”

“His middle name is, but not his first name.” she turned back to Danny, “Didn’t you explain it?”

“Of course I did! He just didn’t believe me! And now the whole school is losing their minds because they think this is some crazy prank or that I’m a liar or something.”

Danny sighed and composed himself before giving the warning as he had meant to, “Tucker is taking bets on what my name is so other people might ask you about it too.”

Jazz hummed thoughtfully to herself while nodding, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You are going to tell them the truth right?”

“Of course,” she said but she still had that far-off look in her eye.

Danny figured he would probably regret asking, but he was just too curious, “what are you thinking about?”

“This is very interesting from a psychological perspective, don’t you think?”

“How?”

“Well by learning that what they assumed to be true, wasn’t, it has shifted their perspective on things.”

“Do you really think it’s that deep?”

“What do you think it is then?” she asked, not annoyed that her theory was being questioned, just curious.

“I think people just like drama.”

“Perhaps.” she said as she watched a dejected Dash walk away, “and maybe it’s a bit of both.”

“Whatever it is I hope it goes away tomorrow.” he walked away and wondered if this was a preview as to what would happen if his secret got out.

He stopped in his tracks with a sigh. No, if they found out he was really Danny Phantom it would be worse. So much worse.

#Danny Phantom #fan fic #my writing #inspired by another post #silly head canon

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zee-stars · 3 years ago

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Prompt list!

Any prompt from this list can be used for requests. You can use as many as you could like! (Might add more as I go along.)

Also this account has amazing prompts and I did take some from there so I would like to give credit

Dialog:

1. “you two would make such a cute couple!”

2. “there’s someone here to see you..”

3. “isn’t this the part where we kiss..?”

4. “i don’t care what they do, they can hang out with whoever they want.” “right. even if it’s (name)?” “come again?”

5. "Hands off!"

6. “do you believe in soulmates?”

7. “i don’t believe that for a second.”

8. “you’re mine.”

9. "Is that my shirt?"

10. “what do i need to do to prove my love?”

11. “why are you so warm?”

12. “you look better in it anyway.”

13. "Can I kiss you?"

14. “i think im falling in love with you and it terrifies me.”

15. “i said it once, and i’ll say it again: i don’t care.”

16. “don’t fucking touch what’s not yours.”

17. “sorry, your eyes distracted me, what were you saying?”

18. “you shouldn’t be awake right now.” “okay, hypocrite.”

19. "i don’t know if i can just be friends with you anymore.”

20. “why would i do that?” “out of the kindness of your heart..?”

21. “i thought you didn’t have feelings for me?”

22. "Who's shirt is that?"

23. "There's this new thing, it's called knocking."

24. “if we get caught.. im blaming you.”

25. “im not scheming, im thinking.”

26. "Same thing."

27. “sorry, i didn’t mean to walk in on.. whatever this is..”

28. “admit it; you’re addicted to me.”

29. “that’s not what i meant and you know it!”

30. "Look what we have here.."

31. "Come on, I'll carry you."

32. "I know I shouldn't, but I'm falling in love with you."

33. "'Just friends' don't do this."

34. “their pupils literally turn into hearts when they look at you!”

35. “i know you’re in pain, but there’s an ice cream truck outside right now. What flavor do you want?"

36. “i think you’re drunk.”

37. “that wasn’t a dream!?”

38. “i think i could fall in love with you.” “don’t.”

39. "They don't forget anything." "They literally forgot how to open a door yesterday."

40. “oh my god, they know my name.”

41. “Good morning buttface” “Good morning to you too, dickhead"

42. “Do you want food?” “It’s 3 am.” "answer the question dipshit."

43. “Can you play with my hair?”

44. “I accept apologies in kisses and hugs”

45. “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to...”

46. “This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me.”

47. “(She’s/he’s/they’re) worth the wait.”

48. “Will you just hold still for the picture?”

49. "Do you ever for a single moment, use your head when making decisions?"

50. "How could you not be in love with yourself? Have you looked in the mirror?"

Fluff:

Allowing partner to sleep in on their day off cause their overworked.

wiping frosting (or something) off their their lips (maybe a kiss after)

smiling across the table when their cheeks are full of food and they look cute

one watching the other talk/do something their really passionate about with a lovesick smile

hugs from behind while cooking

One person falls asleep while the other is talking and the other doesn't notice at first.

one sees the others notebook filled with doodles and drawings of them.

one giving someone a deadly glare from over the others shoulder while they are talking to them.

getting called boyfriend/girlfriend/partner for the first time

first I love you

first kiss

one holding the others hand as they lead them through a crowd

painting a room together.

leaving notes in lunchbox

one having to help the other reach something from a higher shelf/ helping them put something away

getting ready for bed together

doing everything to get the others attention

stealing the others clothes

looking at something over the others shoulder

making food together

sitting on the others lap

doing the others hair/fixing it randomly

dancing randomly together

cleaning the others injury

one laying their head on the others lap

one guiding the other with a hand on the middle of their back

taking photos of them randomly throughout the day

one bending down to talk to the other who is shorter.

one helping the other get ready for the day

one is a morning person, the other is not

Angst:

one dropping a glass and is triggered and the other comforts them and tells them its okay

one having a rough day and the other just sitting there with their arms wrapped around them in silence.

one noticing the other is acting different and confronts them

one leaving without telling the other and they find out through other people

one accidentally snaps at the other

one gets jealous and takes it too far

one sacrificing themselves for the other.

one accidentally getting to focused on work and ignoring the other

one finds a new scar on the others body that wasn't there before.

keeping secrets one thinks is for the better but the other gets upset when they find out

#prompt list #fiction #fluff #imagines #dream smp #markiplier #dreamsmp fanfic

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lizbotw · 4 years ago

Text

it’s only sharing a disgustingly sweet milkshake at the local college town diner after both of your evening classes that suna graciously provides the answers to the math homework.

the spongy pencil eraser is easy for you to sink your teeth into as you puzzle over his handwriting. “you know,” you mumble around the nib, trying to figure out if that’s a 5 or a 6, “i never know why you do this to me every week.” this time the drink with two plastic straws floating in an unhealthy heaping of whip cream is a syrupy strawberry flavor.

rintarou tips forward to sip at one of them and in your peripheral, chunky pink-coated fruit pieces travel up the clear tube and disappear between his lips. he releases the straw with an annoying ah that makes you frown, even if you weren’t concentrating in the first place. “aw, don’t tell me you don’t like hanging out with me.” he feigns hurt.

a well placed sip of your own allows you to avoid having to answer that—you have a personal rule of never being sappy in the presence of calculus. if you didn’t like him, suna knows you wouldn’t be hanging out with him—there are just some things you can’t do, even if it’s for the sake of your grade. none of this has to be said out loud of course, but he decides to be annoying and ask anyway.

actually—well... maybe hanging out is... not exactly how this appears to bystanders.

sharing a drink like this, you two probably look more like a couple on a (terribly cheap) afternoon date, rather than two broke college students that split meals to save money and believe that sharing answers for homework isn’t cheating, it’s collaboration.

ha, as if it would ever be different—things like the former never come true. maybe in movies, but that’s about where the line is drawn.

as if he knows what you’re thinking, suna raises an eyebrow at you over the glass, a smile playing on his lips—the same stupid look he always gives you. it feels particularly worse this evening.

it’s hard to avoid eye contact with him mere inches away, but you manage when a car painted a very interesting shade of red rumbles past the fingerprint covered window. you’re grateful for the distraction.

the subject changes when you realize suna has terrible taste when it comes to ordering milkshakes. “what flavor is this?” you spit out the word as though the very concept of calling this a real flavor is more disgusting than the drink itself, smacking your lips and screwing up your face at the excessively saccharine, artificial strawberry aftertaste.

this is no ordinary strawberry milkshake. no, this is a so-bad-only-suna-rintarou-would-order-something-this-horrible-(and-not-necessarily-on-purpose-either) strawberry milkshake.

“valentine’s valor,” he states matter-of-factly like those words mean anything to you. you stare at him until he elaborates. “their valentine’s special,” he clarifies and is gifted with a sarcastic thumbs-up from you in thanks—it is pointedly ignored and suna slings an arm over back of his seat. “dunno the exact flavor though. forgot.”

it tastes like the embodiment of pink, you decide. valentine’s valor. what a stupid name. there are a million and one better words that start with v... you can name at least five with a little thinking. you should ask them to hire you as part of their marketing team, you decide.

maybe it’s fitting title though. you certainly need valor to even think about taking another sip of that... concoction—which you do because you are obsessed with getting your money’s worth.

“valentine’s day was half a week ago?” your mental calendar helpfully supplies.

the clatter of pans in the back kitchen somehow mingles charmingly with the way rintarou throws his head back to laugh—a scene straight out of a movie really. you decide you hate him in the moment. “right you are. want a prize?” ugh. you stick your tongue out at his tone.

great. as if to add insult to injury, of course you’re sharing an out-of-date love holiday special with suna of all people. valentine’s was four days ago and this is where you are on a thursday night. the sticky upholstery of the booth seat, ripped and fraying at the corners, squeaks and groans and attaches itself to the fabric of your jeans as you shift around, suddenly hot. what a strange situation to be in, you think. this has to be a metaphor for life—then again, you’d been thinking this whole... thing has been a metaphor anyway.

yup, ever since suna sat next to you in a calculus II lecture all those fated months ago and took pity on how much you fucking sucked at math, up until the present where he takes slightly less pity on you but does enjoy emptying your dorm mini-fridge and making you pay for his milkshakes—all of it. this entire thing with him. one big stupid metaphor.

the specifics of how you came to have a routine like this are certainly murky, but two things are for certain—one, your calculus grade is certainly a lot better than it would have been otherwise, and two, you have one friend more than you did at the start of the school year. (that last one is kind of a big deal, you think. the college social scene is brutal. the word friend has started to become more disappointing than exhilarating lately though.)

rin reaches to your left to pick at the fries you’d ordered as a side—you’ve learned not to try and stop him. “also,” he adds, mouth full, “you’re totally getting me a new pencil after this.” yes, true, the pencil you’re currently leaving frustrated teeth marks all over isn’t yours. very easy to forget in the moment. you’ve probably destroyed 15 of his pencils by now for the 15 weeks of the last semester—only 7 so far for the current one. you do the mental math.

instead of drawing in the sharp lines of the differential equation that should be going in the question box, you lightly trace in the curves of a 2 and then another one next to it in the corner of the worksheet, graphite underlining them both in one swoop. the horribly thin paper of the school library’s printer is scratchy as you write but soon you flip the pencil over and under your fingers to tap the eraser (that has seen better days) just below what you wrote. “this is pencil number 22.”

suna leans over to look at the number as if you hadn’t just told him what it said. what an idiot. “glad you’re keeping count.” he settles back into his seat. “when can i expect my reimbursement?”

“you’re funny,” you say, without a hint of humor in your voice. the pretty 22 you had written now has flower petals growing off of the sides as you get distracted doodling along the edges of your work. it’s quiet for a moment as he watches you, or maybe as he takes the chance while you’re distracted to shove more french fries down his throat—either option is plausible and you don’t lift your eyes to check.

something occurs to you.

“rin.” you take an extended pause in between the words as you continue drawing, just to annoy him. you don’t continue speaking until he grumbles in acknowledgment (you try to hide your smile). “do you ever doodle in your notebooks?” now that you thought about it, suna was surprisingly pretty straight-laced when it came to class—you couldn’t ever recall him ever slacking off to the degree that meant his pages were filled with hearts and stars and flowers and suns and atomically inaccurate animals and tiny people in different colored ink. your work was always certainly the more vibrant out of the two (perhaps that could explain your grades and how you understand like... nothing in your lectures, but you decide correlation does not equal causation).

“waste of time,” he says around another mouthful of fries, another one already halfway there to his mouth.

suna is also surprisingly negative at times—but the blue book flipped open to his homework says maybe he’s just a liar though. you squint at it.

“it’s still pretty early but we probably should get out of here soon,” suna says, pulling his phone out from his pocket to check the time and leaning his elbows on the table. “i’ll walk you back. your roomie doesn’t leave the gym until 9—before you ask, yes i’ve been keeping track. it’s not stalking if it’s for my own sake.”—rin is, of course, referring to the long standing rivalry between him and your (very nice, might you add) roommate you don’t really understand but which has cumulated in him deciding he would avoid them as much as humanly possible purely out of spite. (“the only person i like in dorm 302 is you,” he’d told you one time and the throwaway sentence maybe made your heart flutter more than it probably should’ve.)

the bell above the front door jingles behind you as another patron enters. rin glances up at the sound and then returns to his phone with a bored bat of his eyes, probably scrolling through twitter or replying to texts, and picking at his teeth with a toothpick (where did he even get that?).

you try to get back to work (copying) but something in your gut tells you there’s more to his notebook than the messy handwriting and crossed out words that meet the eye.

with suna distracted, you take the chance to carefully slide the book towards you and then, in a single quick swipe, pull it into your lap under the table, already leafing to the back pages—everyone knows that’s where the real secrets are—not sure what to expect. a flash of color makes you pause and you flip back to a page that has the corner folded into a tiny, crisp triangle.

whatever you were thinking suna had stashed in the back of his calculus notebook certainly does not match up with what’s staring you in the face currently. sparkly, gel-inked hearts in neon colors glitter under the fluorescent overheads. in each of them, written in capital letters neater than you thought possible for suna, is your initials, a small plus sign in the middle, and then S.R. (for none other than suna rinatoru) next to it. it instantly makes sense to you. “rin, what the fuck.” one side of the book dangles from your hand, pages fluttering, and you hold it up for him to see, other hand flying to cover your mouth because you don’t know whether to laugh or pretend to be mortified or what.

it’s very amusing to watch how suna goes from a disinterested stare, to widened eyes, to reaching over the heaps of school supplies to attempt to grab the book from you, frantic. you hold it just out of reach. “what are you—” an old lady at a table shushes him when he half-screams. “—give that back,” suna whisper-yells instead in the greatest verbal equivalent of tiny caps you’ve ever heard.

“not a chance.”

he looks like he wants to lunge across the table and pry his prized possession from your meddling hands, but also has half the mind not to make a scene. getting kicked out and then subsequently banned from his favorite diner all on a noise complaint and disorderly conduct accusation was not ideal.

you hum, flip back to your place, and observe the drawings covering the lined pages. you shoot him a venomous smirk over the edge of the cover, one that’s more theatrics than anything, and say with all the satisfaction of someone who knows they have all the power, “oh, this is gold.” he deflates and you feel grateful he doesn’t see right through your facade because oh man are you sweating inside right now. what the fuck? no way suna rintarou is drawing little hearts with both of your initials in it like a lovesick middle schooler. no fucking way. you almost want to tell him that you did the same thing once when the thoughts about him had gotten especially bad (you felt guilty afterwards though, thinking you never had a chance with him, but... now... if he’s doing the same—well, that kind of changes everything).

suna is utterly defeated you think—doesn’t even try to defend himself, just slumps in his seat with a groan. you at least expected a “i can explain!” from him, a last attempt at dignity, not the resigned “i’m never going to live this down, am i?” he mumbles after a few seconds. well, either works for you.

“nope,” you quip, maybe a little too cheerfully because the response you receive is a distressed wail and him banging his head against the table. the old lady shushes him again. you chuckle at that (it feels a little wobbly though because once again, freaking out here) and flip the page. you stop.

this one has similar perfect little hearts drawn all over it, but there are other things. cute, standard shaky drawings of misshapen dogs and volleyballs and other things you never thought suna would take it upon himself to create but all of which make sense are there. but there’s something else. little scribbles in the corners with your last name swapped with his and even him trying out his name with your last one—all of them are scratched out but not so much you can’t read them. a list on the right in a very tiny font that makes you think he was embarrassed even penning the words is titled “date ideas?” (the question mark is in red and the dot is a heart) and has several popular spots around town written down in the local lingo of unofficial names for them.

“listen... please let’s forget about this.” rin’s voice is muffled and he’s still faceplanted. “it’s fine if you don’t... you know... yeah.” if you don’t feel that way, he means. true, the doodles were a pretty good indication of his feelings.

what to do...

well... you take pity on him, let your lips upturn and your eyes soften to reflect the sentiment, and shut the book with a quiet thud. you slide it back across the table from where it came and back to him silently. you give it a resounding pat when suna peeks up at you, expression saying it all—he was so going to get you back for this. you stick your tongue out—acceptance of the challenge. and just like that, you’re friends again—maybe that’s what’s so great about suna.

as you get ready to leave and slowly begin the trek back to the dorm buildings with him, street lamps glimmering a pasty yellow, there’s no awkward tension, no need to ask questions, no verbal wonderings about what ifs between you two. it’s just joking and shoving each other around and challenges to see who can run to the next tree the fastest in the middle of the chilly february night. you know, maybe for now you’ll keep your own thoughts a secret.

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why-did-i-join-this-fandom · 4 years ago

Text

Simple Stars

Tsukishima Kei x Reader - Soulmate AU

Summary: [Y/N] gets a response from her soulmate for the first time in her life. While, in theory, this sounds great (and it is, don’t get me wrong), it isn’t so great when her soulmate turns out to be an absolute asshole.

Word Count: 1768

Warnings: a couple of swears, angst maybe???

Please let me know if you enjoyed this!! I’m always looking for feedback on my work. Let me know if you want a part 2!!

-★-

There were always new drawings popping up on Tsukishima’s skin. While Tsuki himself wasn’t artistic, it seemed that his soulmate was. Whether it was stars, flowers, words, or other things, there was always something new. This time it was stars.

“Oh, is your soulmate drawing again?” Yamaguchi spoke up as more ink stained Tsukishima's arms.

“Yeah.” Tsuki paused, letting out a huff of annoyance. “It’s getting kind of annoying. I keep having to wash them off before practice.” He glared at the little stars like they were his worst enemy. Sometimes he wished his soulmate would just stop.

“I think it’s cute. I wish my soulmate was as artistic as yours.” Yamaguchi sighed dreamily, looking down at the grocery list on his wrist. “But, I guess if it bothers you that much, you could ask them to stop.” He hated suggesting this. While he knew that Tsuki secretly liked the doodles, he also knew that Tsuki hated people seeing them.

The blonde hummed in response. Without hesitating, he dug through his bag for a bright red pen. This time, it would be him that wrote, not his soulmate. Wanting to get his point across, he wrote only 4 words.

“Stop it. You’re annoying.” The bright red and clear penmanship would ensure that his soulmate would see it.

“Tsuki, don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” Yamaguchi questioned. The blonde shrugged, putting the pen back in its rightful spot.

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s go.” No words were spoken after that. Yamaguchi just sighed and followed his friend to practice.

-★-

The world around you was loud, but all that you could pay attention to was the bright red. You almost hadn’t noticed it at first. Why would you? Your soulmate never wrote back. There were times where you wondered if you even had a soulmate.

“[Y/N], are you alright?” The feminine voice made you look up. It was your closest friend, Yachi.

She gasped at the sight of tears filling your eyes. She gently put her hand on your arm and pulled you from your seat. You didn’t protest and kept your head down, trailing after her. Most people got out of the way when they noticed Yachi practically barreling down the hall, but of course, there was one person who didn’t move out of the way. Your shoulder crashed with his and your eyes met. The tears had blurred your vision so badly that you couldn’t recognize the other student. A brief apology was thrown over his shoulder as he continued down the hall, trying to catch up with his friend. Your head turned back around, feet continuing to move, despite your shock.

“Where are we going?” Your voice cracks. It came out softer and weaker than you had meant, but that was just because you were crying.

“Somewhere quiet.” Her reply is followed by her hand slamming into a door.

“That’s the gym. It won’t be quiet.” You protest, barely noticing that she had stopped.

“The boys are stretching, they should be quiet for a couple of minutes. Besides, we’re not going in.” You almost forgot that she was the new manager for the boy’s volleyball team. Before you can doubt her, she continues. “Your soulmate is rude. Isn’t this the first time you’re hearing from them?” A nod of your head confirms her suspicions. You chat for another couple of minutes before you hear yelling from the gym.

Their shouts are muffled, but there are many distinct voices. The doors burst open and someone flies out before you can dodge them. Bright orange invades your vision and your breath is knocked from you. So much for them being quiet for a while.

“Ah! I’m sorry! Oh! Yachi! There you are!” The words come out so fast, you could barely comprehend them.

“Hinata! You knocked over [Y/N]-chan!” Yachi scolds, slightly panicking.

A hand is held in front of you and you grab it in a daze. “Oh yeah. I’m Hinata Shoyo! First year and the ultimate decoy!” He yanks you to your feet, almost causing you to fall over again. He’s small, bright, and heavy. You’re pretty sure you’re going to have a Hinata-shaped bruise from his impact.

“I’m sorry about him. Why don’t you come in and let Kiyoko-san make sure you aren’t injured?” Another voice chimes in. You hadn’t noticed, but practically the whole team had stepped out of the gym to see what was going on. He seems to notice your dazed state, and speaks up. “I’m Daichi Sawamura. I’m the captain.” His introduction causes the others to start to introduce themselves. They all seem a bit intimidating, but if Yachi can handle them, you can too. Right?

“Follow me, I’ll introduce you to Kiyoko-senpai and ask her to make sure you’re alright.” Yachi adds once everyone is done. You nod, a little overwhelmed by the amount of people and how tall they are. To be honest, you didn’t really catch any of their names. Still in a slight daze, Yachi grasps your wrist and guides you into the gym.

Introductions are made. You sit down as Kiyoko instructs you and go through a brief checkup. The typical “How many fingers am I holding up?” is asked and you answer. Nothing seems to be wrong, but Kiyoko still recommends that you go to a doctor to make sure. You nod in agreement.

“[Y/N]-chan, why don’t you stay until practice is over? Then we can walk home together.” Yachi suggests.

“Yeah.” You remember that you left your stuff in the classroom. “I need to go back to the classroom. I’ll grab your stuff too.”

“Yamaguchi, why don’t you go help her?” the captain suggests. You look at the man in question. He seems familiar, but you don’t think much of it. The first year nods his head and leads you out of the gym.

The walk there is mostly silent. There is occasional chatter from lingering students, but no words are exchanged between you and Yamaguchi. When you reach the classroom, you finally speak up, “Yachi’s desk is right there, just bring it over here and I’ll pack it up.” He doesn’t protest.

You pack both yours and Yachi’s stuff. As you put the last notebook in your bag, Yamaguchi finally speaks up. “I bumped into you earlier, sorry about that.” He sees the questioning look in your eyes and continues. “Yachi-chan was walking with you.” That’s where you remember him from.

“It’s alright. I guess you were in a hurry. I should’ve been paying more attention to where I was going.” You leave out why you weren’t looking, but he seems to know.

“No, no. I should’ve been more considerate. You were crying, so you couldn’t see.” He hesitates. “Are you okay? I know we just met [L/N]-san, but any friend of Yachi’s is a friend of mine.”

You lug the bag onto your shoulder and Yamaguchi carries the other. “I’ll be alright. My soulmate just wrote to me for the first time and I guess I got kind of emotional.” It wasn’t a complete lie. You did start crying because it was the first time your soulmate wrote to you. However, you continued crying because after all this time, your soulmate turned out to be an asshole.

“What did they write to you?” The question shouldn’t have taken you by surprise, but it did. Yamaguchi notices your shock and stammers. “If-if you don’t mind me asking, of course!”

You shake your head and chuckle. “No, it’s alright. I guess my soulmate is a bit mean. After all this time of wondering if they existed, their first words to me were ‘Stop it. You’re annoying.’” Yamaguchi stops walking. “Are you alright? Why’d you stop?”

He thinks for a moment before replying. “It’s nothing. Why don’t I introduce you to my friend when we get back?” You tilt your head in confusion, but nod nonetheless. You had already met most of the team, who else is he going to introduce you to?

-★-

When you finally get back to the gym, everyone is huddled around a tall blond. They barely notice that you have returned, but Yachi does.

“Thank you for getting my bag [Y/N]-chan!” Her voice brings the rest of the team’s attention. Before more chaos ensues, the captain tells everyone to go back to practice.

You sit on the sidelines with Kiyoko, Yachi, and who you think are the coach and teacher. Taking a purple pen from your bag, the idle doodling resumes. You end up getting so caught up in drawing the little stars, that you don’t realize that everyone has started to clean up. Had you really been drawing stars for that long? Everyone is talking amongst themselves as they clean.

“Tsuki, it looks like your soulmate started drawing again.” Yamaguchi sends a quick glance over to you before he calls out to the blond.

“Tch. It’s getting real annoying. Why didn’t they listen and just stop?” The blond’s complaint draws the attention of the team. They slowly gather around him and gawk at his arm. “I don’t understand why you guys are making such a big deal. It’s just a bunch of stupid stars.”

“Yeah, but someone must really like stars to draw that many!” Hinata yells, everyone nods or vocalizes their agreement.

There’s no way. Right? This couldn’t be your soulmate. You decide to test that theory and pick your pen back up.

“Woah! They’re writing again! What does it say? What does it say?” Hinata continues.

“Calm down, Shrimpy-chan. They just wrote ‘May the stars guide you to your other half.’ What kind of crap is that?”

“Tsukishima! You’re so mean!” Someone chimes in.

Your eyes widen in surprise. No way. There was no way this asshole was your soulmate. You notice Yamaguchi walking over. He sits down on the bench beside you.

“Tsuki can be kind of mean sometimes, but he’s okay once you get to know him.” He pauses, looking for the right words. “It’s probably better to tell him now. The longer you wait, the more he’ll be mad when he finally figures it out.” This little shit. He had a good point, but there was no way that you were going to tell him.

“No thanks.” You stand up without hesitation. There was no way that you were going to talk to Tsukishima after all of that. Yamaguchi calls out to you as you leave. While this draws the other’s attention, you don’t look back. You run as fast as you can. The tears start up again.

Part 2

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #reader #x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader

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alphasmoonlit-selfships · 3 years ago

Note

🍃 🐚 ⭐️

Hello mystery anon! Thank you so much for the ask! I forgot as I was writing that that were asks meant to be answered by me for my F/o, but considering my recent f/o takeover by my dearest Atsushi, he answered a few of the asks too! UwU;

"It is a shared blog between us, Darling," Atsushi commented lightly, resting his chin a top the petite brunette, "I'm sure they won't mind at all!" 🥰

"Well let's just jump right into it, shall we?"

🍃: Do you live together? If not, would you like to? How would you or how do you decorate?

Atsushi: We do live together actually! You can know more about that here in this ask!

Though the second question is new to answer; it was a slow and gradual process to decorate our place after it was entirely cleaned and ready to inhabit. We started with basic things we could afford, the Agency definitely helping us to get a few other things to fill in the space and make it feel more homey. Which we were grateful towards nonetheless!

Even so, I think the decorator between us is Dany, she usually suggests colors and what might fit well with the setting of a certain room in our condo. As well as how the layout should be. Of course, I pitch in my own suggestions that she usually considers and takes full validation of 😄 it definitely helps her figure things out as she often hits a dead end and is left a bit irked when she runs out of ideas 👀

We often buy things at random that might make the condo more homey, be it buying some items for the living room or dining, some plants to make the place more lively, either inside or on the balcony space, or paintings and frames. Which might I add, we have hung some pieces we worked on together!

It was some quality time building when we painted and made a messy, yet nice piece done! I may not be much of an artist, but Dany does know how to boost someone’s confidence when it comes to the subject U///w///U she is very sweet, comforting and patient.

But yeah! We are a bit of a mix of traditional, minimalist, and modern through the home!

🐚: Which one of you brings the most physical or emotional energy to the relationship? Are there ever times where it’s overwhelming to the other, or are you pretty evenly matched?

Atsushi: I think Dany and I have shared a decent amount of offering each other that physical and emotional and mental energy to our relationship. It varies a lot with what we experience individually, but overall it is evenly match. We have a deep understanding of one another and share a few similarities when it comes to how we think and want to act on our emotions and affections.

I think Dany gives more of the physical energy as she isn’t one to always put things into words as it sounds in her mind. Her affection is warm, sweet, comforting, it’s soothing and brings out any tension I feel personally after a bad day. She often sings and hums to offer a bit of vocal response, or asks questions for me that give me the door to open if I want to talk about something. She doesn't press instantly and allows space for me to figure out what I would like to say.

I do worry that sometimes I may be a bit overwhelming for her; she is rather emphatic and has the tendency to take other’s emotions that often do drain her later on. It..often leads her to be apathetic when she feels her own bad days.

Which leads to the opposite of me, she is more withdrawn from speaking about her struggles and worries. Always giving a lot of herself to me or others that she forgets about herself. That’s where I have slowly began to draw her out of that mindset, I can understand where she comes from in that regard and offer what she usually craves the most; To be listened without being interrupted or bringing up an assumption she hasn’t stated. She use to apologize,,, frequently for how she just kept rambling about some feelings and teared up out of emotion. She still does occasionally, but not as often as before.

We have been through a lot, uncovering old wounds and healing together. Giving each other that reassurance and validation we both crave more than anything. I think that’s a great positive to our relationship, is how well we share a wavelength in our emotions and how we naturally crave physical bliss from each other. It’s a steady and comforting recovery to just cuddle in bed together after a draining day, for either or both of us.

On a positive note, we are very affectionate and sweet together, so a lot of other people tend to say. Sometimes saying how we are wholesome, or adorable together. It is nice and validating to hear. I tend to be more loving in public when given the chance, Dany isn't much into PDA as she doesn't like so many eyes on her. But has gradually learned to not care too much on it. She has gotten more confident in that regard 🥰 especially with surprise kisses U///w///U

I think the first time she ever kisses me a bit...passionately in public was when someone was apparently flirting with me? I didn't have a clue about it if I have to be honest 😅 and I do think her wolf ability may have given her that forward reaction to kiss me. Surprised I was, but not at all opposed to it~ it was so cute to see slowly realize what she did later and how she practically combusted into embarrassment for her forward action. She definitely needed some reassurance and words of encouragement from me 🥰🥰🥰

Needless to say, she is adorable and I love my darling, tiny lover UwU <3

⭐️: Does your FO have any habits that you only noticed after spending a significant amount of time with them? Do they notice any of yours?

Habits eh? Hmm, Atsushi has some peculiar ones that are caused by his tiger ability... I mean so do I, but I'm normally like that since I was a child. 😅 He is like a cat sometimes and it is honestly endearing to witness and very comforting 🥰 he purrs when we cuddle and has these big eyes sometimes when I give him praise and kisses UwU. Sometimes dilated during more... affectionate times~

He also still bares some habits that stem from his time at the orphanage that I never noticed until we started living together. Such as his early sleep and morning wake up schedule. I’m not much of a morning person in the slightest 😅 I can be very irked and tense and need at least an hour to mentally wake myself up as I move about the place. I especially need coffee and some sort of protein with my food to wake me up.

I’m not very lively and may look irritated to a fault 😔 the amount of times I worried mi Tigre at the start because he thought he did something wrong ;;;w;;; of course with time he understood and got use to it and definitely gave me the space to compose myself. He definitely makes it easier to wake up with a few affectionate kisses and preparing breakfast ;;;w;;; I, of course, in the rare times do the same for him, I just have to be up prior to his now 6am wake up 😮‍💨

Hmm.. he also has his bad days, usually when a memory of his past flickers in his mind he kind of shuts down and it leads to nightmares occasionally. They were more frequent earlier on when we moved in together in the dorms and the first few weeks in our new home and have gradually slowed down. But sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night to him gone, immediately picking him out cowering away in a closet. Huddled in a ball and attempting to stifle his tears when I find him..

I was concerned, but not overly as before when he first did this prior to our relationship. Instead I joined him and offered him my comfort to ground him back from his terror and memory. Usually wordless, gentle comfort and letting him cry out all the emotions that twist and pained his heart. Once he calmed a bit, I offered any words of validation and usually pitch the question if he would like to talk about it. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, either or I don’t let up holding him and keeping him steady to present time.

It’s definitely helped a lot, mi pobre tigre… he feels bad sometimes for the disrupt sleep or mental toll it brings me. But I always remind him, gently but stern, that in those moments he is the one that matters and I am not about to abandon him in his time of need.

Maybe it’s because I understand him deeply in that sense, while our lives may not have been the same, we understand the toll our traumatic past takes on us, individually.

Atsushi has definitely been there for me a lot of the time, I have a lot of self doubt and need plenty of reassurance. I’m..overly sensitive too so I don’t like arguing or any rise in anger, it’s hard for me to…really stand up for myself in that regard; hee..to literally not cry because I am trying to make a point…

Ah sorry, about the small downed turn this took; I don’t normally talk about these things. Am trying to get better by talking more about it, especially with mi Tigre who honestly listens when so many … often don’t.

Nonetheless, some more positive, funny/cute habits from the last; Atsushi tends to ramble on about new things he learns and enjoys telling me more about it. I remember he spoke for a whole hour about chameleons, I drew him some cute doodles as he told me more about them. He keeps the image somewhere in his phone. He also rubs his neck or cups his chin a lot when confused, nervous or in deep thought.

He on the other hand has noticed how often I tend to sit on my legs, that I don’t have a single perfect posture no matter where I sit. Could be the most comforting chair or very stiff, hard ones and I still keep my legs up with me. I just can't for the life of me sit still at all, it'd last like less than 5 minutes at most 😅 but he finds it adorable and cute how often I can just curl myself into what looks like an awkward position to others but for me is rather comfy and just how I prefer to sit.

His lap is the most comforting place to sit tho 👀👀

Atsushi: You also have the bad habit of biting your lips, Darling 👀

👀...Noooo... okay yes I do, a lot, like a lot more as of recent,,, And I crack my fingers a lot too...and tap my feet, more so in public out of nervous jitters I think...

Well, that's enough of that~ we greatly appreciate the emoji asks and honestly love doing these kinds of asks 🥺 it gives me so much more of a chance to explore the dynamic and relationship between mi Tigre and I ❤️😍🥰 Leaves me warm and fussy and soft. A melting puddle of silly and foolish love U///w///U...

Please by all mean's don't be shy to send asks or talk with me! I do my best to respond when I can and want to give all my love and support to every self shipper! Till the next asks! Take care!

#bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #atsudany #danielle mika mason #self shipping #self ship community #f/o takeover asks #self ship #tag: we are of the moon and stars my dear #f/o asks

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merakilyy · 4 years ago

Text

Tales of an Unsuccessful Matchmaker

Six months after the Guanyin temple, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji still aren’t together. Jingyi snaps because if his oblivious seniors can't talk about their feelings, then Jingyi is going to take matters into his own hands and make them talk.

Naturally, he enlists the help of Lan Xichen to matchmake a little.

Just a little.

(In which Sizhui is 100% of Jingyi's impulse control, Wangji is lonely, Jingyi may or may not break into the Hanshi via window, and Xichen is surprisingly permissive.)

Tags: Wangxian, post-canon, matchmaking, accidental secret marriage, Jingyi being a menace who just wants his otp to get together already

(On AO3) Wordcount: almost 7600

~~~

If you asked Lan Sizhui, he would describe Lan Jingyi as a cesspool of bad ideas. He would say it with affection and add that Jingyi is still a very talented cultivator whose penchant for more creative solutions has provided much entertainment during their night hunts and saved his life at least once, but it was unofficially Sizhui’s job to keep Jingyi’s worst impulses in line.

However, with Sizhui travelling with Wen Ning outside Gusu for several months, there was no one left to temper Jingyi’s wilder ideas.

Furthermore, Sizhui had inadvertently planted another questionable idea into the mind of Lan Jingyi in his most recent letter.

Lan Jingyi,

I hope that you are well and that you have not caused Grandmaster Lan to suffer another aneurysm.

Uncle Wen Ning and I went to visit the Burial Mounds. It is just as barren as the last time we were there but Uncle Wen Ning told me stories of how Wei- qianbei learned to restrain the resentful energy so they could farm the land and grow radishes. No potatoes, though. It is not a nice place, and even the best memories are bittersweet, but it is a part of my past and I am happy to learn all that I can about my first family. Uncle Wen Ning says Wei- qianbei even managed to grow lotuses in the Burial Mounds. Can you imagine? I thought Uncle Wen Ning was teasing me until I saw three dried lotus seeds in the dirt.

Briefly, Jingyi wondered when the fearsome Ghost General became Uncle Wen Ning to Sizhui, to himself, and to all the other junior disciples. Was it before they accidentally turned Wen Ning green from an aggressive plant spirit, or was it after Wen Ning paused a night hunt so he could rescue a kitten from a tree as they all watched? Jingyi didn’t ponder this very long; his thoughts quickly drifted elsewhere as he continued reading.

After we left the Burial Mounds, we ran into Wei- qianbei and Lil’ Apple in Yiling. He says that he’s been travelling on his own for the past few months. I was surprised that he’s been gone for so long without Hanguang-jun at his side. He seems tired. Later, I asked Uncle Wen Ning about Hanguang-jun and he simply said Wei- qianbei and Hanguang-jun know each other best. I am not sure what that means but Uncle Wen Ning did not say more on that subject. Before Wei-qianbei parted ways with us, I offered him the lotus seeds I found in the Burial Mounds but Wei- qianbei refused. He said that I should hold onto them until he can settle down somewhere to plant them. Do you think he’ll ever come back to Cloud Recesses?

Sizhui’s letter went on a bit more to say he and Uncle Wen Ning were going to Lanling next and that they might visit Sect Leader Young Mistress Jin but Jingyi’s mind had already begun churning with a new idea.

Sizhui had said nothing about whether or not Wei Wuxian was lonely but he was alone! And tired! With only that stupid donkey! So of course he was lonely without Hanguang-jun at his side. Furthermore, Uncle Wen Ning was the one who knew the most about Wei- qianbei and Hanguang-jun’s relationship and describing them as those who know each other best is basically confirmation that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are soulmates.

Plus, Wei-qianbei was waiting to settle down somewhere. Somewhere with enough space to grow lotus flowers. But, also somewhere where Sizhui could easily give him the seeds which meant Cloud Recesses. And, since Hanguang-jun lived in Cloud Recesses, Wei-qianbei must be waiting for Hanguang-jun to confess so he can settle down in the Jingshi. In Cloud Recesses.

Rather proud of his ability to read between the lines, Jingyi began to formulate a plan with his newfound knowledge.

~~~

When he woke up the next day, Jingyi reviewed his plan from the previous night and almost considered scrapping it as he realized he forgot to account for Hanguang-jun’s feelings. Even though Uncle Wen Ning almost confirmed Hanguang-jun’s feelings, how well did Uncle Wen Ning really know Hanguang-jun?

As he finished tying his forehead ribbon in place, Jingyi decided to shelve his plan until he could properly ascertain Hanguang-jun’s feelings towards Wei- qianbei . For now, he decided to simply gather evidence of Hanguang-jun’s feelings.

Evidence, as it turned out, was not difficult to find.

As he headed towards the cafeteria for breakfast, Jingyi saw Hanguang-jun sitting on the porch of the Jingshi in a chair that Jingyi had only ever seen Wei Wuxian use before. Hanguang-jun was impeccably dressed as always, an intricate guan woven into his hair and without a wrinkle to be seen on his spotless white robes. With a pot of tea balanced on the window ledge beside him, Hanguang-jun was reading a letter. Ducking behind a pillar, Jingyi watched as Hanguang-jun flipped through page after page of writing. There were so many pages that Jingyi initially thought the letter might actually be documents from other Sects requiring mediation from the Chief Cultivator. But after taking a closer look, Jingyi saw how a few pages contained doodles in the margins and only one person could be so shameless. Even without seeing the messy scrawl, Jingyi knew it was from Wei Wuxian because no one else would send such ridiculously long-winded letters — especially not to Hanguang-jun. No one else dared send long, verbose letters to a man whose Sect literally had rules that restricted the use of words.

Do not use frivolous words, speak meagerly for too many words will bring harm, do not take your own words lightly, be careful with your words, Lan Jingyi recites in the back of his mind. After having copied the rules so many times, they are easily imprinted in his mind. Wei- qianbei definitely broke all of the rules , Jingyi thinks while he observes Hanguang-jun’s expressions as he reads.

Unlike Sizhui, Jingyi did not have the privilege of being raised by Hanguang-jun for most of his childhood. It was more accurate to say Jingyi, like most members of Gusu Lan, knew of Hanguang-jun instead of knowing Hanguang-jun.

Still, Jingyi has taken enough classes with Hanguang-jun to be familiar enough with major changes in Hanguang-jun’s expressions. Even if Jingyi can’t name the soft expression on Hanguang-jun’s face right now, Jingyi recognizes the look. He saw it at Dafan Mountain, when he requested Mo Xuanyu be moved into the Jingshi, when he and Wei- qianbei rescued them from the Burial Mounds, and after the Guanyin Temple.

It was an expression reserved for Wei Wuxian.

Hanguang-jun’s expression barely changes as he continues reading. Occasionally, Hanguang-jun will flip back to an earlier page with an amused huff.

This should be the most boring endeavor Jingyi has ever undertaken. He has never been a good scout, and even worse at night patrols because he would get bored so quickly.

But, watching the subtle shifts in Hanguang-jun’s expression is more entertaining than Jingyi would have guessed. He is no expert at reading Hanguang-jun, or at reading people in general, but it is fun to guess at the shifts in Hanguang-jun’s expressions. Even Jingyi can see the soft, deeply rooted affection Hanguang-jun has for Wei- qianbei in how he holds the paper with such care, in how he is possibly smiling at Wei- qianbei ’s little drawings, and in how Hanguang-jun looks very lonely sitting on the Jingshi porch alone.

Ouyang Zizhen would be having a field day with this information, Jingyi thinks.

Jingyi is so lost in his thoughts between what his friends would say about observing Hanguang-jun and actually observing Hanguang-jun that he startles when Hanguang-jun himself says, “Breakfast will begin soon. Do not be late.”

Carefully tucking the thick wad of paper into his sleeve, Hanguang-jun stands and makes his way to the communal dining area.

Jingyi has too much dignity to scurry out from his hiding spot right before Hanguang-jun’s sharp eyes. Luckily, Hanguang-jun is not interested in punishing Jingyi and moves toward the dining area. But, before leaving, he says, “Eavesdropping is forbidden, Lan Jingyi.”

Just as Hanguang-jun’s back disappears around another corner, the warning gong for breakfast rings.

Flustered, Jingyi tries to collect himself as he scrambles to his feet. He is enough of a Lan to not run, but he is definitely pushing the limits of speed walking so he will not be late for breakfast.

~~~

Having deemed that morning’s events to be sufficient evidence of Hanguang-jun’s deep yearning for the return of Wei- qianbei , Jingyi decides he needs someone who knows Hanguang-jun well enough to help him formulate a plan.

Ideally, Sizhui would have been the best partner. Not only has Sizhui been raised by Hanguang-jun, Sizhui is also Jingyi’s equal and a close friend which would make the need for formalities unnecessary. Sizhui is also the best at curbing Jingyi's wildest ideas.

But, Sizhui is still travelling with Uncle Wen Ning.

The only other person who knows Hanguang-jun well enough to assist Jingyi is Zewu-jun who is...not exactly in seclusion, but he is not not in seclusion either. Jingyi doesn’t understand it either.

But, Jingyi does know that while Zewu-jun himself has not been seen leaving the Hanshi, Zewu-jun is perfectly free to leave if he so desired. More importantly, people are allowed into the Hanshi. Confident that Zewu-jun would do anything to help Hanguang-jun, Jingyi decides to seek his aid.

Without Sizhui around to slow Jingyi down, to encourage Jingyi to sleep on his plans before enacting them, Jingyi decides to put his plan into action the first chance he gets.

That evening, armed with nothing but the bare bones of a plan and his desire to help Lan Wangji, Jingyi marches up to the doors of the Hanshi for the first time in his life.

Seeing the candlelight flicker through the open window of the Hanshi, Jingyi takes a deep breath and knocks.

He meant to gracefully entire the Hanshi, politely and through the door. He would bow at the full angle, speak at the proper volume, and would present his objective in a calm, respectable proposal. There was a plan, and Jingyi had intended to carry out that plan.

What Jingyi did not account for was Sect Leader Lan’s refusal to open the door. Like any self-respecting cultivator of the Gusu Lan Sect, Jingyi was reasonably terrified of Lan Xichen. But, dire circumstances call for extreme measures. With no other choice, Jingyi turns to the window.

Seeing that there is no one else in the vicinity, Jingyi messily pushes his long sleeves up to his elbows before leaping at the window ledge.

Admittedly, Jingyi didn’t think it was a good idea either. He is basically breaking into the Hanshi, breaking hundreds of rules, and Zewu-jun might run him through with Shuoyue if Jingyi is mistaken for an intruder. Which...Jingyi technically is. But Jingyi tells himself this is a necessary evil, that Zewu-jun is too level-headed to respond with Shuoyue, and that Hanguang-jun’s happiness is on the line. He is still reciting this in his head, like a mantra, as he backs up and dives directly into Zewu-jun’s window.

Jingyi miscalculates his own power and ends up jumping through the window entirely, landing in a flailing, graceless heap as Zewu-jun watches from behind a desk. Zewu-jun’s face is composed as always and his eyes aren’t even open, but Jingyi feels judged as he picks himself up from the ground.

“Sect Leader,” Jingyi salutes, robes askew and regulating ribbon crooked across his forehead. He had already broken enough rules, he figures being respectful to his Sect Leader might mediate the number of lines he’d have to copy as punishment.

“You should not be here,” Lan Xichen’s voice is...impassive. Where he once faced the world with a serene smile, Xichen now faces directly ahead, eyes closed, as still as jade. He does not even bother to address Jingyi directly.

In retrospect, Jingyi will later realize that he has interrupted Lan Xichen’s nightly meditation.

At the moment, Jingyi is more than a little desperate. “Sect Leader Lan,” he bows again, even though Lan Xichen’s eyes remain closed. “I know you are...taking a personal leave from many of your duties, but this is a problem that has plagued Gusu Lan for several months now.”

“Then I suggest you take it to Wangji,” Xichen says, unmoved, in the same placid tone. “Hanguang-jun is more than capable of resolving any issues that have arisen.”

Even though Jingyi’s arms are getting tired and Zewu-jun still isn’t looking at him, Jingyi holds the salute. Just in case. “But Zewu-jun,” Jingyi says, trying very hard to not sound like he is challenging Zewu-jun’s authority, “This is an issue that concerns Hanguang-jun directly.”

Immediately, Zewu-jun’s eyes open and he finally looks at Jingyi. “What is the situation?” Xichen asks, concerned.

“Hanguang-jun is sad!” Jingyi says. It is only his rigorous Gusu Lan education that allows him to will his arms from shaking as he continues to maintain his salute.

“At ease,” Xichen says, giving up on his nightly meditation. “Wangji has been in mourning for a long time but he has been content since Wei- gongzi ’s return.”

Folding his arms in his sleeves politely, Jingyi protests while trying very hard to not sound like he is protesting. “I have evidence that Hanguang-jun is sad!” he says.

“Please take a seat,” Zewu-jun sighs and waves a hand at the cushion before him. He waits for Jingyi to kneel before continuing. “What does this evidence entail?”

“Hanguang-jun was sitting in front of the Jingshi alone before breakfast!”

Jingyi can see that Zewu-jun is unconvinced, even if Lan Xichen’s expression does not change. “Wangji often spends time alone. Wangji enjoys solitude.”

“But he was lonely! He looked lonely!” Later, Sizhui will smack Jingyi for impertinence and Lan Qiren will assign more handstands.

Now, Lan Xichen is unruffled at Jingyi’s boldness and is even amused at the extent of Jingyi’s sheer brazenness. “You have seen Wangji alone before,” Xichen points out calmly. “Why the concern now?”

“Because Wei- qianbei isn’t with Hanguang-jun!”

“Wangji’s connection with Wei- gongzi is profound. It is not our place as outsiders to interfere.” Zewu-jun says this with the weighty experience of someone who has attained this knowledge firsthand in the worst way.

“But they still aren’t together! Lan Sizhui has written to me so much about how lonely Wei- qianbei is! Read for yourself!” Having at least the foresight to prepare himself beforehand, Jingyi pulls Sizhui’s crumpled letter from his sleeve and just barely resists the temptation to thrust it in Lan Xichen’s face. At the last minute, he remembers some manners and offers the letter to Zewu-jun with both hands and lowers his head..

Taking the proffered letter, Xichen skims the contents of Sizhui’s neat handwriting. To Jingyi’s frustration, Xichen’s composed expression does not change.

“Lan Jingyi,” Xichen says slowly, choosing his words with care as he looks back up at Jingyi, “I understand that you are frustrated.”

Jingyi huffs a laugh under his breath — as if frustrated even begins to cover how he feels , Jingyi thinks — before he remembers who he is speaking to and tries to look abashed over his rudeness.

Brushing past the infraction, Xichen continues, “And I understand that you wish to see Hanguang-jun and your Wei- qianbei together again. But, you are not the first to attempt such an undertaking.”

“But Zewu-jun! They are clearly pining and miserable without each other!”

If Jingyi had been paying attention, he would have realized that Sizhui’s letter was actually not very good evidence as it made no explicit mention of Wei Wuxian actually missing Hanguang-jun. It was sheer fortune that Zewu-jun happened to already agree with him.

“Zewu-jun,” Jingyi begs in a last attempt to sway Xichen to his side, “They use their birth names with each other.”

Xichen sighs. “I will not aid this endeavor of yours, but I see no reason to prevent you from undertaking such a project. So long as you operate within our Sect rules, I will not stop you. In exchange, I expect routine updates on how this project of yours proceeds. I invite you to join me for tea in one week's time so you may inform me of developments in the situation.”

Much later, once this ploy has reached its conclusion, Lan Sizhui will hit Jingyi over the head for his audacity in breaking into the Hanshi, for his disrespect in speaking back at Zewu-jun, and for violating curfew.

For now, Jingyi is simply grateful that Zewu-jun agrees with him.

~~~

The first plan is fairly benign.

What Jingyi needs is to first bring Wei Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses. So, he simply sends a letter to Wei Wuxian lamenting how lonely Hanguang-jun is and how worried he is for Hanguang-jun and won’t Wei- qianbei come visit an old friend in his time of need?

Wei- qianbei, Jingyi had written.

How long do you intend to run around with that stupid donkey? Don’t you know Hanguang-jun is sick with worry here in Cloud Recesses? Hanguang-jun is very lonely without your presence and it is very rude of you to take advantage of Hanguang-jun’s kindness and then abandon him. You must come back and take responsibility for the suffering you are putting Hanguang-jun through!

It could have been a good plan.

Except, Jingyi had no way of knowing the sheer quantity of letters Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sent to each other. The letters were constant, daily updates of even the most mundane events. When Jingyi had happened upon Lan Wangji reading Wei Wuxian’s letters in front of the Jingshi, Lan Wangji had actually been rereading and reorganizing a stack of all the letters Wei Wuxian had sent that month and not, as Jingyi had assumed, been reading a single letter.

Since Wei Wuxian gave Lan Wangji timelines of where he intended to go next and when he would arrive, Wangji had been able to leave Wei Wuxian letters and little gifts in every village he passed through.

So, Wei Wuxian was confident that Lan Wangji was in perfect health and no more worried than he usually is.

What Jingyi did not know was that Wei Wuxian also knew how much Lan Wangji missed him. He missed Wangji just as much, but he had some travelling to do first, some loose ends to tie up, and an identity to reclaim.

A couple weeks after Jingyi had sent his letter, Hanguang-jun summons him to the yashi.

“Chief Cultivator,” Jingyi bows. “Hanguang-jun requested the presence of this disciple?” While formal speech is not something that flows off Jingyi’s tongue, he has never been directly summoned by the Chief Cultivator Lan Wangji. Jingyi is most comfortable with Hanguang-jun as a teacher and mentor, but he figures that it is better to err on the side of caution and maintain the utmost formality.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wangji nods his acknowledgement. “I recently received a letter from Wei Ying.”

Jingyi blinks, unsure where Hanguang-jun is going with this and why Hanguang-jun is telling him.

“Wei Ying has informed me that he has recently received an interesting letter,” Wangji continues.

Jingyi blanches.

To his horror, Lan Wangji reaches into his sleeve and pulls out the exact letter Jingyi had sent off weeks earlier.

“I believe this is your doing.”

Jingyi splutters, his mind scrambling for a defense even though he knows there is none he can provide without giving away his entire plan.

Luckily, Hanguang-jun saves Jingyi from answering by continuing to speak. “Do not make assumptions about others,” he recites, listing the rules Jingyi has broken. “Do not exaggerate, and do not act in bad faith. Be careful with your words.”

“This disciple apologizes for his interference,” Jingyi says as he prostrates himself before Hanguang-jun. “This disciple welcomes any punishment Hanguang-jun sees fit to bestow.”

“Rise.” Despite his new position, Wangji is as uncomfortable with being formally bowed to as Jingyi is formally bowing. “You will copy the rules two times, supervised by Lan Qiren in the library pavilion.”

Which is a very light punishment, all things considered, and Jingyi is well aware of how lenient Hanguang-jun is being.

In his haste to leave the yashi, Jingyi does not realize that Hanguang-jun did not quote do not tell lies amongst the rules he had broken.

~~~

“I sent a letter to Wei- qianbei,” Jingyi informs Lan Xichen in the Hanshi the next day, after his punishment is complete.

“Am I correct in assuming it was unsuccessful?” Xichen says mildly as he pours a cup of tea for Jingyi.

“Wei- qianbei sent the letter I sent him back to Hanguang-jun,” Jingyi grumbles, accepting the tea.

With a deeply entertained smile, Zewu-jun hides his amusement behind his own tea cup.

~~~

The second plan is an objectively terrible idea.

The flaw with Lan Xichen’s hands off approach to Jingyi’s whole endeavor is that he is unable to point out the glaring flaws in Jingyi’s plans.

Because of Sizhui’s brief mention of the lotus seeds he uncovered in the Burial Mounds, Jingyi is reminded that Wei- qianbei was not always the Yiling Laozu or a vagrant wanderer. Before he was forced to raise corpses in battle, Wei Wuxian had been the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang who spent his days surrounded by water and lotus flowers.

Consequently, Jingyi has been inspired to plant some lotuses in Cloud Recesses. Growing lotuses, a plant that Jingyi has only seen once in his life and has never handled, requires a pond. A pond, which would require some source of still water which would also require diverting a river. Or building an aqueduct. Or having the means to hire someone else to build an aqueduct. Or use demonic energy to redirect the flow of water.

Neither hiring someone nor using demonic energy is a viable option but Jingyi pushes those logistics to the side as a problem to be addressed for later.

Instead, during a break between training sessions, Jingyi finds himself a shovel and gets to work.

Jingyi is standing in a shallow ditch he has dug out himself behind the Jingshi, right under a window, when he hears Lan Qiren’s familiar bellow coming from too close behind him.

“Lan Jingyi! What do you think you are doing?!”

Jingyi turns to face Lan Qiren. Holding the shovel, Jingyi bows before answering. “Digging?”

“Disgraceful!” Lan Qiren’s face is redder than Jingyi has ever seen it, even redder than when Wei Wuxian paraded around in front of everyone in Hanguang-jun’s under robes at the Burial Mounds. “Look at your robes! This is unacceptable. We do not need a trench in Cloud Recesses. Fill it back up.”

In his endless wisdom, Jingyi protests. “But wouldn’t a lotus pond be nice?”

“Do Cloud Recesses look like Lotus Pier to you!?” Lan Qiren snaps. “We are not in Yunmeng. Did Wangji put you up to this ludicrous task?”

“Of course not! If Hanguang-jun had planted a lotus pond, then Wei- qianbei would be here!”

Which is exactly the wrong thing to say as Jingyi discovers when he finds himself back in the library pavilion, with Lan Qiren, copying the rules forty times in handstands.

And he had to fill the earth back in.

~~~

“I am no expert on the cultivation of lotus plants but I suspect Cloud Recesses is too cold. Yunmeng is far warmer than we are and has milder winters.”

“How was I supposed to know that!?” Jingyi grumbles, wrists still sore from his punishment.

Xichen does not shrug, but his demeanor heavily suggests a shrug. “In any case, Shufu is rather opposed to Wangji’s relationship with Wei Wuxian.”

“Well I know that now .”

~~~

The third plan is indirectly inspired by Lan Qiren himself when he assigns Jingyi the task of delivering Cloud Recesses’ excess harvest to the nearby villages. Jingyi is carrying several baskets of napa bundles and medicinal herbs on his dan when he passes by a field of peppers.

The bright green peppers remind Jingyi of that day in Yi City, when Wei- qianbei tried to claim his lethally spicy porridge was supposed to be medicine. A claim he made to several junior disciples of Gusu Lan. Gusu Lan: the sect with the most experience with medicinal cooking.

At the time, Jingyi thought he was more likely to choke on Mo- xiansheng ’s terrible cooking than die from corpse powder poisoning.

Now, the entire experience has stirred Jingyi’s thoughts as he formulates another plan on how to lure Wei Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses.

The thing is, while Jingyi actually has very little concrete knowledge of what Wei Wuxian enjoys eating, he does know that Yunmeng Jiang is known for their spicy and flavourful cuisine. Sizhui has also mentioned Wei- qianbei ’s penchant for spicier dishes in his letters, as has Uncle Wen Ning in his stories. And, when they had stayed at inns with Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei , Hanguang-jun always ordered uncharacteristically spicy dishes and requested additional chili oil.

With this evidence, Jingyi concludes that Wei Wuxian is a degenerate gremlin who has burned his tongue.

A degenerate gremlin whom Hanguang-jun is desperately in love with.

It is not a secret that Wei Wuxian despises Gusu cuisine for its bland tastelessness and bitter medicinal properties.

But if someone were to adjust Cloud Recesses’ diet to include more spices, Jingyi thinks, then Wei- qianbei will enjoy the food and stay with Hanguang-jun.

“Are these spicy?” With his mind made up, Jingyi asks the farmer tending to the peppers as he unloads the last of his napa and herbs.

“The spiciest in Gusu!” The farmer responds.

Jingyi has no conception of how spicy that is but it must be spicy enough to make Cloud Recesses’ dishes flavourful enough for Wei- qianbei .

“Here,” the farmer pulls a bundle from his pocket and presses it into Jingyi’s hand. “Take this huajiao as well. It is a numbing spice imported from Yunmeng. It is too strong for my wife and I but I am sure a young master of an illustrious Sect like yourself will find some use for it.”

There is no rule against accepting gifts and it is not unusual for disciples to return with goods gifted by grateful farmers so Jingyi doesn’t feel bad about taking both the huajiao and a basket of peppers.

It takes another couple weeks until Jingyi is rotated onto food preparation in the kitchens again. In those weeks, Jingyi observed Hanguang-jun receive another bundle of letters from Wei-qianbei, request additional pillows and bedding for the Jingshi, and told Jingyi not to fill in the ditch he had dug behind the Jingshi. Jingyi filed this as further proof that Hanguang-jun is desperately missing Wei-qianbei and told Zewu-jun as such.

For his part, Zewu-jun simply sipped his tea and listened to Jingyi’s incessant chatter without judgement.

In the kitchen, Jingyi is standing by the stoves, watching the row of pots and pans slowly cook over the fire. The packet of huajiao and peppers are burning in his sleeve.

Briefly, it does occur to Jingyi that he really does not know how much spice is necessary to adequately flavour an entire dish. Thinking on how red and colourful the dishes Hanguang-jun served to Wei- qianbei were, Jingyi figures more spice is better.

When no one is looking, Jingyi slips the peppers and huajiao into each dish, pouring equal amounts into the pot of rice, the pan of leafy vegetables, and the crock of soup.

He uses up everything the farmer had given him.

Belatedly, Jingyi considers that he maybe should have kept some of the spice for the next time he is on kitchen duty, but decides that murmurs of Gusu Lan serving spiced food on one occasion will be enough to at least temporarily bring Wei Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses. Wei- qianbei will inevitably come if only to question Hanguang-jun and Jingyi is rather optimistic that he will be able to convince Wei- qianbei to stay. He just needs Wei- qianbei to be in Gusu.

As he waits for everyone to be seated for dinner, Jingyi is almost vibrating with anticipation. Lan Qiren does not notice, simply giving Jingyi a cursory glare of disapproval. Hanguang-jun, however, does notice. He gives Jingyi an admonitory look, indicating that he knows Jingyi is up to something, but says nothing as he takes his seat at the main table.

Once the dinner finally commences, Jingyi is disappointed to see that the dishes appear to be the same mild colouring they always are. Then the disciple beside him gags on an unsuspecting bite, coughing and spewing his rice back into his bowl.

Looking around, Jingyi sees that several sect members are coughing and choking on the rice. It is no better for those who are attempting to suppress the spice with the soup.

Lan Qiren’s face is dangerously red and he looks like he very much wants to be yelling, but no longer has control over his own mouth. He sits panting heavily, trying to relax his burning throat and cool his tongue.

Only Hanguang-jun is unbothered, calmly bringing bite after bite to his mouth. His cheeks are slightly flushed from the spice, but he appears otherwise unaffected.

Trying his concoction for himself, Jingyi fares much less well than Hanguang-jun as he breaks out in a string of violent coughs. Despite the inoffensive colouring, the spices are very strong even if it is less spicy than the concoction Wei Wuxian fed them.

Still, Jingyi can’t feel his tongue.

~~~

As Lan Qiren is angry enough to want nothing to do with Jingyi and Hanguang-jun is mired under stacks of paperwork, Jingyi’s punishment is left to Lan Xichen’s supervision.

“That explains the delay in my dinner that evening,” Xichen ponders aloud as he watches Jingyi balance in a handstand against the wall of the Hanshi, holding a brush over a half filled sheet of paper.

“Grandmaster has banned me from the kitchens indefinitely.” Jingyi barely bites back a groan as a splotch of ink drips from his brush, marring the characters he has already copied.

“Shh,” Xichen prompts gently, resuming his own meditation. “There are two hundred and eighty-three copies remaining.”

~~~

Despite the monumental failure of his previous attempts, Jingyi’s zealousness has not waned. If anything, continuing to watch Hanguang-jun walk around all alone and very lonely has only hardened his conviction. He is ready to enact his fourth plan which involves Fairy, Fairy finding Wei Wuxian, a long chase through clear fields with no trees to hide in, and the timely arrival of Hanguang-jun.

Jingyi is halfway through writing a letter to Jin Ling to negotiate borrowing Fairy when he receives his own letter from Sizhui.

Lan Jingyi,

I hope you have not pushed Grandmaster any closer to a Qi derivation in my absence. Uncle Wen Ning and I left Lanling last week. (Jin Ling sends his regards.) I will be returning to Cloud Recesses soon. But first, Uncle Wen Ning and I will be making a detour to Qinghe to pick up a parcel for Wei- qianbei before traveling to Gusu together. Wei- qianbei says he will reconvene with us in Caiyi. Hanguang-jun will be with him.

Take care, and do not break too many rules in the coming days. I have much to share with you of my adventures, of what I have seen, and the many stories Uncle Wen Ning has been telling me.

Lan Sizhui

Jingyi is ecstatic, pushing his half finished letter to Jin Ling aside. With Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei together, they would finally talk out their deep-seated, all-consuming love for one another and Hanguang-jun would finally stop being lonely.

He finishes drafting his letter to Jin Ling anyway, just in case he still needs to resort to Fairy.

A couple days later, Hanguang-jun leaves Cloud Recesses.

As soon as Jingyi sees Hanguang-jun’s back disappear around the curved path leading down the mountain, he quickly walks to the Hanshi.

Before Zewu-jun, Jingyi still carries out the motions of bowing even though his arms are sloppy and his angle is sloppy.

“Lan Jingyi,” Zewu-jun nods, gesturing for Jingyi to take a seat at the table. “There are still three days until our regular scheduled tea time,” Xichen says mildly, pouring Jingyi a cup of tea anyway.

“Hanguang-jun has left Cloud Recesses to find Wei- qianbei . Shouldn’t we follow Hanguang-jun?”

To Jingyi’s surprise, Xichen is as placid as ever and completely unbothered, taking a slow sip of his own tea before answering. “There is no need. Wangji has informed me that he will return tomorrow with Wei Wuxian, Lan Sizhui, and Wen Qionglin.”

Jingyi only sips his tea out of politeness. “But Sect Leader, shouldn’t we follow Hanguang-jun to make sure he finally confesses? Wei- qianbei is so annoying and doesn’t realize how much he loves Hanguang-jun!” Belatedly, it occurs to Jingyi that it is bad form to be insulting a senior in front of his Sect Leader, nevermind a senior who is going to become his Sect Leader’s brother-in-law.

But Lan Xichen is unphased, having long since grown accustomed to Jingyi’s brand of chaos. “While there is no harm in facilitating opportunities for Wangji and Wei- gongzi to explore their feelings, we cannot force them to speak what is not ready to be spoken.”

“But they’ve been doing this for so long!”

“Jingyi, you are not the first to attempt to push Wei- gongzi and Wangji together. They are both deeply stubborn people. All we can do is wait. Fate has blessed them and bonded their souls together. I trust that Wangji will find his happiness.”

“Watching Wei- gongzi and Hanguang-jun together is infuriating,” Jingyi is Lan enough to not pout, but his displeasure is clear.

Zewu-jun hums softly, sympathizing with Jingyi. He has watched Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji dance around each other for two lifetimes now and is still watching. “We can wait at the entrance tomorrow for their return.”

Looking up in surprise, Jingyi asks, “Sect Leader is leaving his seclusion?”

“I am not in seclusion,” Xichen answers. “Only in mourning and taking time for advanced self-reflection.”

Jingyi still doesn’t really understand the difference. The purpose of seclusion is precisely for mourning and self-reflection, was it not?

In any case, Jingyi wasn’t about to argue semantics with his Sect Leader.

~~~

At the entrance to Cloud Recesses, Jingyi stands with Lan Xichen as they wait for Hanguang-jun to return with Wei Wuxian and Sizhui, and Uncle Wen Ning. Zewu-jun is only carrying Liebing. Shuoyue is nowhere to be seen, but the usual guards are only a few paces back in case anything unexpected were to happen.

They take up their posts in the late afternoon. Jingyi had proposed waiting in the morning, but Zewu-jun had predicted otherwise. “I suspect Wei- gongzi will want to explore the vendors in Caiyi and Wangji will allow Wei- gongzi such indulgences,” he had said, shooing Jingyi off to training.

Now, Jingyi has to admit that Zewu-jun was correct.

They have barely been waiting for ten minutes when they hear Wei Wuxian’s laughter drift through the trees. Moments later, Hanguang-jun appears first, making the last turn that leads the path directly into Cloud Recesses.

Zewu-jun gives Jingyi a look as Jingyi vibrates with excitement, but says nothing to admonish Jingyi’s restlessness. They watch as Lan Wangji leads Lil' Apple by the reins, Wei Wuxian sitting astride Lil' Apple’s back with Chenqing tucked into his belt. Sizhui and Wen Ning follow closely behind them, carrying baskets of assorted fresh fruits.

Perched precariously on Lil' Apple, Wei Wuxian raises a hand, waving vigorously at Xichen and Jingyi’s waiting figures.

Xichen simply smiles his welcome, but Jingyi waves back just as excitedly.

“So?” Jingyi asks, not even trying to minimize his excitement once they are all within Cloud Recesses’ wards again after they have exchanged the proper greetings and pleasantries.

At his side, Sizhui has already guessed what Jingyi is about to say and desperately shakes his head as vigorously as possible without attracting Wei Wuxian’s attention. Nothing escapes Hanguang-jun’s notice, and Lan Wangji briefly glances at Sizhui with amusement, but Sizhui knows Hanguang-jun won’t draw unnecessary attention to him. Shadowing Sizhui, Wen Ning simply smiles wryly, his wide eyes dancing as if there is a joke that only he is privy to. Lan Xichen simply stands there, lips curled into a resigned smile as he watches the scene unfold before him.

“So…?” Wei Wuxian echoes, confused, as he takes Hanguang-jun’s hand and allows Wangji to help him off Lil’ Apple’s back.

Jingyi does not notice how Wangji’s hand remains on Wei Wuxian’s back even after both his feet are planted firmly on the ground. Xichen, however, very much notices and gives Wangji a knowing look that says as such.

Wangji resolutely ignores his brother’s gaze. Instead, he refocuses his attention back onto Wei Wuxian.

“So have you finally confessed your undying love and devotion to each other!” All the advice Zewu-jun had given Jingyi about leaving Wanji and Wei Wuxian to their own devices has flown out the window as Jingyi says this so emphatically that it is no longer even a question.

Confused, Wei Wuxian turns to Wangji first. Jingyi doesn’t see any changes in Hanguang-jun’s expression but he must have reacted as Wei Wuxian nods and turns back to Jingyi.

“Of course we have,” Wei Wuxian says with an oddly anticipatory note to his voice. There is a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hanguang-jun is my husband.”

There is a brief pause as Jingyi processes Wei Wuxian’s words.

“ What?!” Jingyi shrieks. “ Husband?! ”

Somewhere in Cloud Recesses, during a fine afternoon tea with a Lan Sect Elder, Lan Qiren suddenly coughs up blood.

“Well we’ve already been engaged forever,” Wei Wuxian shrugs as if he hasn’t just distorted Jingyi’s entire world. “We didn’t want to wait any longer.”

Off to the side, Wen Ning is completely unsurprised by this revelation having witnessed their union with his own eyes, albeit from inside a bush. Sizhui was never told outright, but Wen Ning had hinted at Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s union just enough that Sizhui had extrapolated his own conclusions.

Jingyi swings around to look at Zewu-jun, the only one who is not betraying him at this moment by being the only other person who is surprised. While Xichen had already determined that Wangji and Wei Wuxian had confessed, Xichen hadn’t expected them to already be married .

“To be fair, I didn’t know we were engaged for most of it either,” Wei Wuxian continues nonchalantly, as if he hasn’t just uprooted Jingyi’s entire world. His hand is clasped tightly in Hanguang-jun’s grasp as Wei Wuxian swings their entwined hands together back and forth between them. “Lan Zhan forgot to tell me.”

“I did not forget,” Lan Wangji hums thoughtfully as he looks at Wei Wuxian with the most adoring, love struck gaze Jingyi has ever seen. With his free hand, Lan Zhan reaches over to cover their entwined hands and relaxes Wei Wuxian’s fervent swinging. “Wei Ying was not ready.”

Wei Wuxian rests his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder. With an equally infatuated gaze, Wei Wuxian looks up at Hanguang-jun from his shoulder. “But I’m ready now. Lan Zhan, I’m so ready —“

Lan Xichen interrupts before Wei Wuxian’s smitten tone can turn outright salacious.

“Welcome back, Wei- gongzi , Wangji. I offer my blessings and congratulations to you both,” Zewu-jun says mildly, forcing the words out through his own shock. “May I ask when this union took place?”

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian look at each other again. Jingyi can’t decide whether he finds their ability to carry a conversation with only their eyes to be the height of romance or absolutely grating.

“A few minutes after we accidentally got engaged,” Wei Wuxian explains rather unhelpfully. “When he tied his ribbon around my wrist.”

“We completed the first bows before Lan Yi,” Hanguang-jun elaborates. This time, Jingyi notices when Hanguang-jun releases Wei- qianbei ’s hand so he can wrap his arm protectively around Wei- qianbei and pull him in close.

“Lan Yi?” Zewu-jun echoes. Hanguang-jun’s explanation clarified nothing for Jingyi, but Zewu-jun seems to understand. “Wangji, that was over two decades ago.”

“You’ve been married for twenty years!?” Jingyi snaps, no longer even trying to mediate his own surprise. Glancing back to the side, Sizhui and Wen Ning are doing their best to melt into the trees and be idle spectators.

Traitors , Jingyi thinks.

“Not exactly,” Wei Wuxian interrupts Jingyi’s thoughts. He is leaning into Hanguang-jun’s shoulder slightly, subconsciously. In any other circumstance, Jingyi would find this to be exceptionally romantic. “We didn’t get to the second set until after we saved everyone in the Burial Mounds, when we all went to Lotus Pier.”

“It took you twenty years to get married?” Jingyi is blurting out thoughts as they come, the shock of Hanguang-jun’s marriage having finally severed the already tenuous connection between his brain and his mouth.

“Lan Zhan and I like to take it slow,” Wei Wuxian says as if it is perfectly to space out wedding bows over two decades, across two lifetimes, without any ceremony, and without telling anyone.

Xichen speaks again. “When did you complete the final set?”

“Right after we left the Guanyin Temple.”

“But Sizhui and Uncle Wen Ning followed you right after you left,” Jingyi says, trying to map out a timeline.

“We finished our bows before they caught up.”

Wen Ning says nothing. At the time, he had briefly gone ahead to clear the path for Sizhui when he had happened upon and witnessed their bows to each other. No one else knew what he had seen and Wen Ning very much intended to keep it that way. It was a tender and very private moment, and it was fortunate that they returned to the road just as Sizhui caught up with Wen Ning.

“But you were lonely! And all that longing!” Jingyi tries to untangle his mess of thoughts, wondering if he spent too much time reading too much into Sizhui’s letters.

“Of course I was lonely!” Wangji’s grip on Wei Wuxian’s waist tightens. “I missed Lan Zhan! I have to leave my new husband behind!”

“Then why did you even leave?”

Wei Wuxian pauses, thinking about how to put into words how he felt. “I was ready to love Lan Zhan,” Wei- qianbei finally says, voice subdued. “But I wasn’t ready to be me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You can’t devote yourself to someone fully without knowing who you are without that person,” Wei Wuxian says with uncharacteristic sincerity.

A silence falls upon them. Jingyi still isn’t sure whether this is real, or if he was having the weirdest dream.

No one notices Lil' Apple stealing an apple out of Sizhui’s basket.

“Wangji,” Xichen breaks the silence, “why did you not tell anyone?”

The hurt in his voice is resounding and Jingyi wonders the same thing. All these weeks, Zewu-jun has been quietly supportive of Jingyi’s misplaced attempts to bring Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei together, only to find out there was no need for any of it.

“It was...not intentional,” Lan Wangji says slowly, carefully parsing through his words. “Wei Ying and I did not wish to leave our feeling unacknowledged for any longer.”

“You did not even have a proper marriage ceremony,” Xichen says wistfully.

“The ceremony was never important to us, Zewu-jun,” Wei Wuxian answers quietly. “This entire mess happened because of cross-sect politics and interferences. So we wanted something for ourselves, something that couldn't be co-opted for sect politics.”

And despite everything his poor heart has gone through in that single afternoon, Jingyi’s heart melts because of course Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei wouldn’t tell anyone. Having each other was more than enough for them and wasn’t that just the pinnacle of love?

“Now, Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian continues, teasing grin back on his face, “I heard you concocted a plan to lure me back into Cloud Recesses.” Jingyi makes an affronted squawk, but doesn’t get a chance to defend himself when Wei Wuxian continues. “Since you’ve already started on digging a pond, you can help me grow a lotus pond! A-Yuan has even been so kind as to bring back lotus seeds from the Burial Mounds. You’ll help me, won’t you Lan Jingyi?”

Jingyi’s head is spinning with all the newly gained information. And A-Yuan? Who is A-Yuan?

Later, Sizhui will sit down and explain his early history with Wei Wuxian as a Wen, and Jingyi will make the connection between Gusu Lan’s Lan Sizhui — Lan Yuan — and Wei Wuxian’s A-Yuan. But at the moment, Jingyi’s mind is swimming in all the newfound revelations.

Without waiting for Jingyi’s response, Wei Wuxian marches off toward the Jingshi. Lan Wangji follows at his side, his arm never letting go of his husband.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon behind the Jingshi, Jingyi!” Wei Wuxian calls back without turning around.

They leave Lil' Apple in Jingyi and Sizhui’s care, trusting that they will lead Lil' Apple to the back mountains to graze on grass with Hanguang-jun’s rabbits.

As he watches the figures of Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei disappear into Cloud Recesses, Jingyi genuinely cannot tell whether or not he is being punished. At least they’re finally together, Jingyi thinks, before resolving to never think about them so deeply ever again.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s relationship was simply too complicated for comprehension.

~~~

Some Notes: Jingyi’s weekly teas with Xichen continue anyway because Xichen thinks Jingyi is hilarious and Jingyi...still has plans.

A dan is a wooden pole that you set on your shoulder and is used to carry goods. It’s still used in rural China.

#mdzs #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #lan xichen #the untamed #the untamed 陈情令 #My writing

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seokiloquy · 4 years ago

Text

Tea and Tuna - Kita Shinsuke

Soulmate AU: First words said to you by your soulmate are written on your wrist

Requested (I changed it up a bit but it still follows)

Word Count: 1.5K

It was a late evening on a school night and the sun was beginning to set, taking the last bit warm weather with it. The sky began to turn various shades of pink and orange. You sat at the back of the classroom with a neat stack of books at your side, waiting to be shelved. Behind you, your friend Hina swayed to the beat of her music pumping through her headset as she swept the floor. Following her rapid steps was Yua, who wiped down the tables to get rid of dirt and doodles left by bored students. Autumn was okay, once the weather started to get cold it meant more layers which you weren’t a big fan of.

At least the colours are pretty. You thought as you watched the sun begin to lower.

As you mindlessly placed the books on their shelf, you were late when reacting to what was going on behind you. Yua’s amused voice broke through.

“Hina, no,” she laughed. “Watch out.” She didn’t sound at all worried.

Something bounced off your head with a hollow thunk and your perfectly stacked books were easily taken down by Hina’s weight. Grabbing the book that landed on your lap you used the stiff cover to pat the forehead of the giggling music enthusiast before stashing it away.

“I swear, Hina, you need a new pair of feet, sweetheart,” you laughed as you picked up the broom that fell.

“My feet are perfectly fine, thank you,” she huffed, grabbing Yua’s hand.

Yua easily picked Hina up, who was almost launched in the other direction from the force, as she replied.

"I could always cut them off? Where's my hack saw?"

Spinning quickly on your knees you stared in horror at the casual grin on her face.

"Yua! No!"

"What?! I was kidding!" She whined, throwing her hand in the air. Narrowly hitting Hina's face.

"Gah! Watch it! You nearly took her head off!"

Throwing her arms down, Yua grabbed the wipe and spray off of the table and got back to cleaning the last few desks. "Why am I getting reprimanded?" She grumbled.

Hina skipped over, picking up all the fallen books as she went, and began to help you finish putting them away. Once she was at your side and had all the books in her arms, you left the work to her so you could face Yua. Yua had her legs spread on either side of the chair she sat on, making her volleyball shorts visible below her grey and black plaid skirt. She ruffled her shortly cropped hair, before stuffing her school bag closed.

Your brow pinched together as you checked the calendar that was pinned up on the classroom’s wall. “Yua, hun,” you called, “Don’t you have a game tomorrow?”

“Yup, sure do,” she yawned.

“And didn’t you have practice this morning?”

“Sure did.”

There was a pause as you watched the two girls finish packing up.

“Yua?”

“Yup?”

“Where’s your sports bag?”

Hina laughed loudly, throwing her head backwards and holding her stomach as she watched Yua spin in circles, searching for her extra bag. Despite Hina being a great singer, her laugh sounded like an emu giving birth to a carburetor. Yua growled as she gripped the roots of her hair tightly.

“I’m so stupid.”

“Did you leave it in the gym?” Hina asked after her laughing fit.

“Probably,” she said, rolling her head over her shoulders.

“Well,” You hummed a bit as you threw on your coat, getting ready to leave, “The gym is on the way and the boys are practicing this evening, so we can drop by to pick up your stuff. Hina put on your coat, it's cold out.”

Hina huffed but followed your suggestion anyway. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. My family’s going out to dinner, and I don’t want to be late.”

Yua waved Hina goodbye once you all got to the exit. You called out to her once her back was turned.

“Hina, your laces are untied!”

One step too close to the other sent her flying, tripping over her shoes. Luckily she managed to dance out of falling on her face and shot the two of you a wave of her own. She kept walking with her laces undone. Yua hooked her arm around yours, pulling you in the direction of the gym before you could fret over Hina’s shoes.

“Hey, (Y/N). How did you know the boys were practicing today anyways?”

“Oh I asked one of the teachers what the gym’s schedule was so I could keep track of your practises and games. That reminds me, what do you want to eat before your game tomorrow? Ginger rice or miso salmon?”

Pushing open the gym doors, Yua dragged you inside, waving to the coaches as you walked their way. “I’ll stick with the green tea smoothie you make, thank you though.”

“That sounds rather tasty. (Y/N), you’ll have to give me the recipe.” Coach Kurosu was a nice man, teasing at times, and hid the bags under his eyes behind square-framed glasses.

“Mr. Kurosu, it’s been a while. I can write the recipe down and deliver it tomorrow before Yua’s game. It’s rather easy, but great for energy and it's healthy too.”

Yua sighed next to, interrupting the conversation gently, “I hope you don’t mind coach but I left my bag here this morning. Have you seen it?”

The man chuckled and pointed over in the far corner, “must be the one we tucked over there in the corner. Watch your head, though. The boys are practicing serves.”

Yua nodded as she elbowed your side and left you to continue your conversation of healthy foods with the boy’s volleyball coach. A conversation which led to you pulling out your phone to email him a list of meals that are high in protein that he could give to his players and friends.

“Heads!”

You were used to this. After attending Yua’s games and practices you should be. Immediately ducking out of the way of a ball that flew in line with where your head was, you watched as it bounced off of the wall and knocked over the piled water bottles like bowling pins.

You had always thought the word printed on your wrist was about coins. For a while, during middle school, you had gone around asking people to choose heads or tails when flipping a coin. In hindsight, with your wrist burning now, in a gym, without a coin in hand, that might have been a bit ridiculous.

“Atsumu, you need to be more careful, you’ll take someone’s head off.”

Standing up you made a throwaway comment about not having a meal for concussions, which made Kurosu laugh as he picked up the stray ball. He handed off to one of the older players that came your way.

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking the ball off his coach’s hands.

“Oh ya. I’ve got eyes at the back of my head,” you said laughing as you started to pick up the bottles. “As I just said, I don’t have a meal for concussions so I need to be able to dodge balls.”

Yua, who had made her way back from the corner of the gym (while expertly dodging every ball that came her way), groaned “You dodge balls by scaring guys away with your overbearing attitude.”

“Yua, please. Watch your language, the coach is here.”

“I didn’t swear, Mom. It’s not my fault you’ve taken a vow of abstinence until you met your soulmate.”

“Yua!”

It was a bit more than embarrassing, you were used to your friends being more than brash in friendly quarters. You can’t say you hadn’t had moments of crude hilarity yourself, but an adult was present, and he didn’t need to know about anything more than your grades and healthy food choices for athletes.

“Well, Yua,” the player spoke up, “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that for much longer.”

Wait. The burning. You forgot about the burning in your rush to duck out of the way of projectiles flying at your head. You rushed to pull the sleeve of your uniform to see the word printed there.

“Kita! That’s not how you ask a girl out!”

The word on your wrist had changed colour.

“Atsumu, I won’t make you any fatty tuna if you keep yapping!”

You looked up at the player’s light coloured hair that made the black tips stand out as they sit in the open spaces of the boy’s forehead and cheekbones.

“You can make fatty tuna?” You asked, shoulders rising with a smile.

Yua groaned.

“Ya, sort of have to with these guys always asking for food.”

With a bit of a squeal, Kita was easily dragged into a friendly conversation about food with his soulmate. A soulmate who seemed almost a bit overly excited when coach Kurosu gave in his share of ideas on side dishes. Yua waited patiently on the side, texting Hina who seemed bored at dinner but excited about the new development revolving around their friend.

So does that mean we can add a dad to our friend group?

Yua swallowed a thick gag but replied with a flat, ‘yes’.

Just a fluff, that's it. - Bacon

Posted: 03/07/2020

#Haikyuu x reader #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #Haikyuu #x reader #oneshot #oneshots #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu reader insert #reader insert #aus #haikyuu aus #fluff #haikyu #anime x reader #anime #manga x reader #manga

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ofgoodmenarchive · 4 years ago

Text

Blighted Empire: 8.5

Bound by Light

Something was different.

Something was out of place.

Identifying the source of this unease was a sluggish, difficult task. Evallan attempted an intake of his surroundings, listing each detail in his mind.

Immediately he knew whatever his location, he was safe. Wrapped in blissful warmth and comfort, the world muffled by layers of blanket and a pair of strong arms. His sleeping companion was no mystery- Dorian had allowed him into his bed, no? Even if that memory eluded, the hint of fire and sweat was significant on its own.

Yet there was certainly something amiss.

We did not fall asleep like this.

He would not allow it...

Nor just that- beyond Dorian's smokey aroma the room smelled quite different from what it had. One grows accustomed to the damp within the tower, a dingy cloud lingering in every hall. It was a scent you only remember in its absence- and it was absent now- as absent as his clothes. Evallan appeared to be wearing nothing and Dorian was equally under-dressed, bare skin pressed to bare skin.

Startled, he lay stiffly and burned, trying to fathom his predicament. Eventually he realised the room was lit far brighter than Dorian's- where a window had been bricked. The ceiling here was spacious and a soothing breeze whistled through an out-of-sight opening, all fabrics and carpets dyed warm, luxurious shades.

It is me.

I am the thing out of place.

Though it wasn't terribly surprising. Cut off from the Fade, theoretically Evallan should no longer dream. Except in order to survive, he'd connected to something else- some place. With nowhere else in reach, his dreams brought him here.

Understandable. Evallan could even describe himself as grateful- almost.

Still- this timing was highly inappropriate.

Dorian's breathing was languid, tickling the side of his neck. Biting his tongue not to make a sound, Evallan scooted ever-so-carefully from the bed, determined to roll away and onto his feet without waking the man.

Luckily there was a robe hanging from the headboard. He slipped into the thin fabric, satisfied it at least covered more delicate areas. Not that it mattered- the true owner of this vessel was obviously comfortable to be seen by Dorian in such a way. It was just that Evallan found himself feeling rather intrusive.

Aimless, he padded around, blinking at paintings in the dim light, or frowning at books with titles he'd never heard of. After some time he settled at the writing desk and perused notes, finding most to be personal logs. Written by something akin to his own hand- his actualhand was clumsier in any language, than the careful Dalish script he poured over now.

The writing style was at least familiar; direct, to the point, sparing no time for frivolous detail but listing everything of importance in practical fashion. Yet he could make no sense of the information, lacking proper context for the endless descriptions, names, doodled maps...

Evallan debated searching out Amrallan's letters once more but never came to a decision.

“Mmn...Amatus...? Come back to bed...”

He froze, anxiety rendering him mute. Dorian's hand grasped at sheets, displeased by their emptiness. Since Evallan was unable to think of a response, the grumbling continued;

“Alright...either come back to bed or close the bloody balcony.”

At first he was lost- then recalled that gentle breeze. Indeed nearby was a balcony door, left ajar to reveal snowy mountains. Even in this life, his other self must find these quarters stuffy, needing a draft to counteract. Not having the same issue, Dorian required his partner to heat their shared bed.

Stepping towards the balcony, Evallan swung it closed and flipped the latch. He returned to the desk then and sat tensely, brooding at his knees.

After a short bout of silence, Dorian sighed with dramatic misery.

“...It'll be one of those nights, will it? I see how it is.”

Not really comprehending, Evallan observed from behind his hair. Dorian unfurled from the bed and instantly he looked away, cheeks flushed and lips thin.

“Bloody cold!” Thank the Gods for small mercies- Dorian also acquired a robe, saving Evallan from the shame of fighting with his own gaze.

To an extent, at least.

“So...what is it keeping us awake tonight, hrm? Orlais, the Chantry? Or maybe someone's just not doing their job?”

What to even say? Should he announce himself? Should he simply act as though nothing was wrong? While he thought and Dorian spoke the man also meandered for him, stretching and yawning, perfectly relaxed.

“Or, you're not...did you have a nightmare...?”

Thinking of his existence as a nightmare almost made Evallan laugh. He held himself.

Dorian's shadow fell over him, the other mage bending to his level with a sigh.

“Evallan...don't ignore me, now.”

Lips brushed against his and he seized, fingers clutching to arm-rests.

“...O-oh.” Dorian jerked back, laughing. “I-I'm so sorry. I didn't notice you at first.”

Aware his face was several shades of red, Evallan lifted it for Dorian to see.

“...At...first?” He hiccuped, forced composure. “How can you see any difference?”

The Tevinter snorted, leaning upon the table.

“Well, no offence to you at all, of course, but my Evallan doesn't tend to look around himself like a scared rabbit-” Choking, he hastened to add. “Not because of your ears- or anything! Your- your eyes. You stare around like a cornered mouse, or something. That's all I meant. Your ears are perfectly normal.”

Perplexed but not taking it as an insult, he nodded, considering-

“...That is not how you have described it to me before.”

“Oh?” He seemed amused by that, chortling. “And how did 'I' describe it before?”

“You said I scowl with only my eyes.”

This inspired peals of hilarity from the man- a calming sound. It gladdened Evallan to hear the same laughter he knew so intimately.

“Well- yes,” Dorian breathed out, wiping his eyes. “It is that- but behind the scowling- it's obvious you're quite terrified.”

Evallan's spine firmed, corner of his mouth tugging downwards.

“I am not afraid.” He stated in defence.

“Oh, forgive me,” Dorian rolled his eyes, teasing. “Distraught then, or stressed. Are those more appropriate descriptors for your terribly masculine ego?”

He bit the inside of his cheek to avoid sniling, muttering only-

“Yes.”

Which caused Dorian to roll his eyes again, though Evallan noted how affectionately he was regarded between these jabs.

This must be difficult for him...

A strange thought- not because of its content. Thus far it was the only internal dialogue he discerned as 'shared' between him and the quiet presence whose life he'd invaded. He was doubly compelled to express the sentiment, mumbling-

“I...am sorry. This must be very strange for you.”

“Ah, well...” Dorian shrugged, forcing nonchalance. “It's probably awful to say aloud...but I think I would be more upset if you had no idea who I am. Luckily, even when you're speaking intongues or drawing diagrams on the walls...you always seem to know me, so...”

“I still...cannot imagine that being so much of a comfort.”

“Well...” He paused with a sense of apprehension. “He is...still in there, isn't he? He just won't remember what we talked about. Or at least...that's how he explained it.”

“I hear his thoughts sometimes,” Evallan was quick to confirm, wanting to reassure. “I do not believe he 'goes' anywhere as such, no...”

“Good- that's. That's good.” Though he tried to seem unswayed the relief was obvious in his posture, relaxing with a huff.

“It really is you in an awkward situation here,” Dorian began again, snickering “I imagine waking up naked in another man's bed without alcohol to blame, was- wait, do you drink? I suppose you might.”

Evallan shook his head.

“No, I thought not. Well, my point stands then.”

Pondering it over, Evallan shook his head a second time.

“It is fine, really. We fell asleep in a similar arrangement, only, I, ah...both of us were clothed.”

“Oh.” Dorian snorted into his hand, stifling amusement- then abruptly straightened. “Wait a second! Does that mean you took my advice?”

He blinked, not comprehending.

“Your advice...?”

Sighing at Evallan as if he were the slowest man in any universe, Dorian conveyed;

“I told you to find me, remember!? To hold onto me?”

“O-oh-” Recalling, his face overheated. “I...Yes, I did follow that advice- but I...I forgot where I heard it, I think.”

“Typical!” He scoffed, full of exaggeration. “I don't get credit for anything.”

“You can have that credit now, if it means so much to you.” Evallan joked automatically.

“Careful, now,” Dorian chuckled, flashing a grin. “You don't know what sort of 'credit' I might ask for.”

He must have looked strange- for certain Evallan knew his mouth had fallen open slightly. Seeing this Dorian became apologetic, spluttering and waving his hands.

“Maker, my stupid mouth! It's easy to forget um...different stages of familiarity, and all that?”

“I-I understand.” He choked on a nervous laugh. “It is fine, really.”

“Well...” Dorian gestured around himself. “This is still your room, as far as I'm concerned, and it's a tad late for a tour of the castle. How about we go back to bed, and you can have a little rest before you're whisked off to whatever blighted world, hrm?”

“I would not mind that.” Evallan muttered, then tugged at his robe. “But...can we put on clothes?”

Dorian cackled at that, nodding.

“That would feel more appropriate, no?” He strode to a dresser, waving Evallan to follow. Once he'd done so, Dorian patted the top with a smirk.

“This is where you keep your clothes. It's actually the third time I've shown you.”

“The third?” Evallan perked a brow. “I do not remember the other times.”

“Yes, well...I say it was 'you' in a very...general sense.” His voice tilted between sadness and humour, though the sincerity of his smile never faltered. Encouraged but still skittish, Evallan dragged open one of the drawers and simply stared. In his reality he owned maybe three sets of robes, nearly identical. Looking at the plentiful folds of rich fabric, he couldn't imagine how this other self managed to dress himself in the morning.

“Need some help?” Dorian offered, leaning into his side.

“I only wanted some underclothes.” He ground out, massaging his forehead. “There is so much here...it is giving me a headache.”

Not an exaggeration- rooting around in these belongings provoked a throb in the centre of his skull, close to unbearable.

“I don't think it's that- you're looking somewhat green.”

A hand steadied him and Evallan braced against the attached arm with a grunt.

“I think...I am...” Incapable of completing a sentence, apparently. All at once his strength dissipated and he slouched into Dorian, who was steadfast in catching him.

“There he goes-” He heard the Tevinter mumble into his hair, holding close. “Don't worry, I'm here.”

His voice was the last thing Evallan heard, his careful touch the last thing he felt.