#i mean... does it?
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does it truly still count as abuse , even if the love was truly there at some point of our relationship ?
or is it just a sick and twisted version of what people call love , because of how i 'd go through all of it again just to have him back ? ᰔ
#[🌧] sensitive / vents#bpd fp#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#tw: abuse#tw: abusive relationship#i mean... does it?#i love him so much#and he clearly loved me once too#how can people dare to call our relationship abusive when they didn't see the times he would love me?#maybe they were few and far between at the end of the relationship...#but he still loved me#if the love was there was it truly abusive?#or was it out of some sick & twisted form of loveñ#bpd favorite person#bpd obsession#bpd yandere#actually yandere#irl yandere#obsessive thoughts#actually schizophrenic#schizophrenic thoughts#tw: stockholm syndrome#yanblr#fp bpd#bpd safe#bpd blog#actually borderline#tw abuse
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Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night, 70s Classics)
#DID ANYONE TELL HIM. DOES MR NERD KNOW THEY MADE LIVE ACTION LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIES#FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING CAME OUT IN 2001 DOES HE KNOW. HAS HE WATCHED THEM#more importantly the HOBBIT came out in december of 2012. meaning Ford came back JUST in time to watch it in theatres#which I choose to believe he and Dipper did do. I'm gonna draw that actually. Those nerds love Tolkien you cant tell me otherwise#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#dipper pines#mason pines#gravity falls#GF fanart#fan art#fanart#digital art#comic#silly#my art
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#It's about seeing that just because im queer does not mean i have to died like a dog on the streets#just the thought of queer people being allowed to exist long enough to grow old makes me wanna cry#gonna put my ships on blast do not judge me#kakairu#Innefable husbands#mchanzo#erasermic#wrightworth#superbat#aladarius#queer#lgbt
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this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz
#im fetishing the french language#i mean this is not a new thing and the reasons probably have to do with a long held idea of france being particularly enlightened#or whatever kinda racist shit but it does sound pleasant nonetheless
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as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you're just there like "okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway"
#vivid flashbacks to being 19 and going on scarleteen like 'help what's a clitoris'#anyway society (by which i mean repressed evangelical white brits lol) really marked a whole area of anatomy as off limits huh#and the modern advertising friendly internet does not counteract it
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very funny (irritating) to me that everyone whined and yelled about stupid rainbow capitalism and how performative wokeness/allyship is a net bad we should all refuse to support and now like.
tumblr is doing nothing for pride and target isn't selling much (if any) of their pride collection offline except at certain stores (in democratic areas, basically) and build a bear has a much tinier collection than normal and all the actual pride stuff is on their "adult" website (not sure if it's in stores, but pride = adult is a hell of a message)
there are genuinely good criticisms for performative allyship in all its applications. it shouldn't be the only thing we expect from people and companies. but if all the shit I see being called performative stopped tomorrow then in terms of the LGBTQ+ community especially we just. wouldn't talk about queerness or queer issues or celebrate pride or do anything.
open your fucking eyes. we are very close politically to having gay marriage rolled back. now companies are basically being let off the hook to even make a miniscule effort (which matters to the people who don't have access to any other kind of support in their communities! which normalizes the community in public spaces!) because the only reaction they have gotten over the last few years are negative ones from BOTH sides.
we are so entrenched in discourse at all times for the sake of our OWN performance of who is the wokest and who is REALLY an ally or a good community member that we have basically handed over all the work of activists of the last several decades to the other side because we'd rather scream at each other over fucking chicken restaurants and shit than the real life backsliding that's happening.
and this goes for other shit too. feminism, poc rights, all of it.
also. trans rights aren't discourse and aren't just culture war arguments. in case any terfs think they can spin this to be antitrans.
#pride#pride month#gay#lgtbqia+#lgbtqia#rainbow capitalism#i just#why can you not understand how just bc you dont like it from the standpoint of anticapitalism#does not mean its not important in a society controlled solely BY capitalism#its like watching feminism circle around from women can just exist even if not conventionally attractive to its woke to get plastic surgery#what are we DOING
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things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
#personal#comics#tw abuse#digital art#personal comic#for the record no i don't think my mother loves me#but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time#the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc#but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive#like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok#art tag
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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be careful what you wish for, Fordsy
commission info here
#gravity falls#the book of bill#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#ford pines#my art#my fanart#that one scene in lilo and stitch but make it the beggining of toxic yaoi#holy shit the bgs actually look great on this what possesed me#Ford's self isolated ass like “please I need a higher power to help me and maybe make me feel less lonely”#and a higher power answered#but powerfull does not mean bening as Ford was soon to find out#they make me insane#less shippy than my other stuff but
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learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.
#people will fr go ''god im such an ugly loser LOL i suck at everything i do and i should just kms“#and then go “why does no one want to be around me”#maybe because your attitude sucks. maybe because i said 'those mean things you say about yourself arent true'#and you spent five minutes arguing with me about how im wrong.#00
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The Afton kids deserved better in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#elizabeth afton#dave afton#David Afton#cc fnaf#fredbear#fnaf helpy#afton family#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf 4#KEEPING yall on your toes it’s time for an angst comic#if I think too hard about Michael’s story I will sob#Michael is defined and driven by his own guilt/regret#mean everything he does in FNAF is to free his siblings#and also get rid of his father#and in the end decides to rid of himself too#I just gotta believe he just misses them#wishes they all could of had better lives#full stolen childhood#nobody can make me hate you Michael Afton
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I don’t know if any of the words I’m about to say make sense but I feel like vivziepop is like lgbt butch hartman
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youtube that is a big question
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Can you draw that snail? You know the one who got out of Grian's power and started to eat Gem's lighthouse?
little guy <3
alternatively: big guy.
#hermitcraft#grian#geminitay#my art#sketch#drawing a snail with teeth wasn't on my bingo card for this year but here we are#ALSO god can you imagine a dungeon meshi au with grian as a dm and snail as his animal? all he wished for was a mending book.......#the brainrot is strong im being tormented by the demons ( my own ideas )#ALSO 2.0. does anyone remember that snail from adventure time? i mean. cmon. i mean..? hello?
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How does Ford react to Fidds taking Stan with him on a creature hunt? A sea based hunt at that.
He gets a lil jealous
#I reckon this is probably one of his wake up calls with everything#I think he was genuinely excited to take his lil bro out on a hunt and he actually didn’t mean to pass out#but seeing fiddleford starting to replace him#at least from his perspective#probably makes him want to make more of an effort#but also makes him realise how much he actually does care about his brother whether he’s aware of it or not#needless to say they go on lots of hunts together#some with fidds and some without :))#my art#ask#gravity falls#twins in time au#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket
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