#i mean. it’s cute but definitely annoying
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
So, this is a thing.
You might hear pregnant women talk about "baby brain", and observe how someone who used to be the most organized, punctual person on Earth is now scatter-brained and can't talk about anything except their kids.
Baby brain is real. It's literally the mother's brain being rewired to think babies are cute, and to make her a better parent (results definitely vary).
Moreover, other adults experience the same thing when around babies and small children: your brain changes to think of them as adorable little beings who you love and care about. It takes longer - months of being around children to have any effect at all, usually, compared to the pregnant mother's neurological changes which are profound and happen in a matter of weeks. The default for adults who aren't around kids is more akin to a vague disgust or indifference.
Now, I wish to remind folks of that old adage: "The customer is always right in matters of taste." In this case that means if you think little kids are cute and wonderful, you're right. If you think little kids are kinda annoying and grating, you're also right. There's no wrong here, it's just not everyone likes kids.
Now, my own suspicion is, both of these mindsets have evolutionary advantages. Obviously liking kids is a good trait to have for parents and people in households with children. Not liking kids... well, I'd point out our evolutionary ancestors were probably not notable for impulse control, and raising Someone Else's Kids is not an evolutionary win in most cases.
However, in our society it's not atypical for familial bonds to persist across geographic distances: in other words, it's perfectly normal now to not live in the same household as your older sister who has children, but nonetheless to have the social obligation to attend piano recitals or whatever. Which means the adults who aren't enamored of children are reasonably likely to be forced into circumstances which they find vaguely annoying - but not often enough for their brains to go "Oh, so we're in a family with these kids and they're cute!".
So, my very-not-professional thought on this is, if you have kids and want to maintain close personal relationships with childfree adults, you're going to need to consider that the middle ground here is the worst option. Either convince them to get enough exposure to kids that they do get used to and like them, or respect that they don't like kids and try to not put them in a bind where they have to grit their teeth and deal with the experience lest they offend you.
Obviously, that goes for the childfree adults, too - either be deeply involved, or politely decline stuff that's going to make you feel like you're being low-key tortured in an auditorium.
Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
Silent Living
Characters: Noelle, Kinich, Lynette, Beidou, Diluc x mute GN!reader
Summary: You're mute, and cant talk? not a problem for your partner, they can find other ways to communicate, and honestly wouldn't have it any other way.
Warnings: mute reader, most of them dont know sign language but there are people where i think they would either have learned it already or will learn it for you, gn reader as always
Note: hehe its kinda hard to write for Noelle tbh, i just can't see her romantically if that makes sense, its like a platonic obsession i have for her. but i chose to write for some girlies bc i felt like it, luv you :P
Noelle
She's a sweetheart and i fully believe she would try to learn sign language the day you meet for the first time. but for the sake of the cute gestures lets pretend she barely knows any words in it, or that you arent the best yourself despite probably needing it heh.
(she would teach you some if so, or learn with you)
In a classic Noelle fashion, she does literally anything for you, though people would normally just have to speak her name, you can't. so she always keeps an extra eye on you to ensure she's there when you need her help. that may be a given, but its truly what shes best at doing.
Loves writing little notes for you, whether its just so you can remember something or if its to invite you anywhere, she loves it. and she has definitely not been carrying pen and paper with her for weeks so you could write notes for each other, no no.
I dont imagine her being the best with words, but is always very good at comforting. so if you need some reassurance or just comfort you can come to her. and you can let her know to be silent by putting a finger over her mouth if you like the silence more. she wont be offended don't worry.
Kinich
Not very good with words and likes silence when possible, so it's very common for you to sit in silence doing an activity together. he's best with actions at least, both giving and receiving, so just doing a tiny chore for him would mean more than words could.
Though it may be difficult to do anything for each other since he's quite busy, and so could you be. but he always has time to sit with you for at least 30 minutes a day and just spend quality time together.
if you ever need anything from him, he has a notebook on him at all times that you're free to write in. Although Ajaw has made a fuss about it being annoying to wait for you, but he'll shut up if Kinich locks him up.
Lynette
She loves the silence you bring. being around her brother all the time can get annoying, no matter how much she loves him, so a quiet tea time with you is often just what she needs. she knows you can feel out of place or left out even since you cant communicate as easily with her siblings. but she is always ready to talk for you.
No matter how much she hates public speaking, and how often she gets her brother to speak for her, she'll speak for you. if there's anything you'd like to say, just write it down and show it to her. she might even know what you wanted to say, by how you stand and how your muscles move. so she will sometimes speak for you before you even get to start writing it down.
She has made sure you're a part of the conversation, not just there and looking around. she might have some knowledge about sign language, but she knows many do not and makes sure everyone understands you.
(she might even ask father if they can get classes in sign language, or at least the siblings of hers that you interact with most often)
Beidou
Maybe not the best at silent communication, but she tries her very best. if she doesnt know sign language she'll learn it, mostly because she feels it would make you more comfortable, but its also something that she may find interesting.
She is very good at dealing with different kinds of people though, so expect yourself to feel right at home wherever you are on her ship. she might even have started teaching her crew how to talk with you properly, whether thats getting you something write down on or learning them a bit of sign language that im not sure of.
Unfortunately it all goes in weird directions when she's drunk, while she talks for you it might be hard to get her to pay attention enough or even speak your thoughts properly. Kazuha is your savior in this case.
Diluc
He has made sure every single maid and anyone he hires learn to speak through their hands. he might even have prepared for it before you started dating, and even some of his staff you have never met before just knows how to speak with you.
Its a given that you're going to be well treated at the dawn winery, but Diluc makes sure you feel the most at home you'll ever experience. you have at least 1 maid whos ready to tend to you in a seconds notice, whether its jsut that you need something to write on or you need to know where you lover is.
Will literally drop anything for you with just a finger on his shoulder. whatever you need, he'll do it. need a hug? no need to even gesture it he knows, someone doesnt understand you at all? he's ready to talk in your place for hours on end.
I might have written it weirdly again sry, im not mute and i just like writing, Luv Ya- Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#gn reader#noelle´s maiden#diluc x reader#diluc ragnvindr#noelle genshin impact#noelle x reader#beidou x reader#beidou#lynette x reader#lynette#kinich#kinich x reader#k'uhul ajaw#genshin impact x reader
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
at this point wouldn't it be better to just never wear a bra?
if i didn’t wear a bra they’d bounce while i walk, and that’s SO annoying
#i mean. it’s cute but definitely annoying#and they’d get in the way of cleaning#it’s embarrassing but i make a mess when washing my face bc they’re too big and i can’t lean all the way over the sink#also bc it’s still in the 80s here and i get sweaty :((#and if i’m around ppl it feels more appropriate to wear a bra
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
"i mean, i guess there isn't anything wrong with the confidence that you give... but like you said, i'm going to need to see it for myself to decide if you're really skillful or not," she had no doubts about it -- especially when he accusingly was two-timing girls... he had the looks and he definitely seem to be good in bed. laughter falls from her lips, their talk was anything, but innocent.. yet it amused her, this was the type of conversation that keeps her hooked. "oh? well, i definitely do prefer a tighter grip as well. . . it annoys me when my hair gets in the way." no ayla might look as if she was innocent, didn't know how to handle dick, yet there was a part of her that was just plain nasty, enjoys the rougher aspect when foreplaying, there was a curiosity to see if he would exceed to her liking. hearing his words, she didn't expect anything less from him, "so.. what i'm hearing is that you're really desperate for another date with me?" would he still chase after her, even if she turn down his advantages? there was a part of her that likes how he's actively after her.. it was what she wanted, to get the plan in motion. "arlo, it's freezing cold outside, my tits are going to fall off if i'm in your car shirtless," she points out, shaking her head knowing that he would enjoy the view all too much if she sat there topless with her perky tits asking for him to play with them. "yeah? if i send you little tutorials you'll rewatch it over and over again?" and if she were to send him little videos of herself, she definitely would ensure it was something cute and sexy, flashing her tits or playing with herself, maybe even show just how flexible she could be in her little lingerie. "a girl that only wants one night with you? that's kinda hard to believe, right?" chuckles falls from her lips, not meaning to boost his ego, but ayla always imagine he was the one to break things off with girls. "i do.. and i'm just waiting to be stuffed, think you can be the one who's able to fill me up?" when he releases her fingers, her body felt hot.. cheeks flushed at his words making her shake her head. laughing as she shoves him slightly. "i'll just slide onto your lap make sure i don't stain anything."
"there's nothing wrong with confidence, especially when you know you can back it up but hey i get it . . . you need to experience it first before you admit that all that ego stroking is well deserved." homme flashes her a cocky smile, because on this subject at least arlo is sure of his ability to follow through. while his little handyman business was yet to become a real thing he wouldn't turn down a chance to help ayla out with a little filling and plugging. he's just kind in that way. "most of the time a soft and gentle grip is preferred", admits with a barely disguised crinkle of his brows, "but personally i'm a bigger fan of a tight hold, gives me more control . . . over your hair", tacks on with a quiet laugh. as if the pair were just talking about her long locks and how best to secure them. most of the girls he's been with were interested in a little roughness, a spank to their ass or their cunt when they were feeling it, but for the most part it never went beyond that -- arlo couldn't say for certain what his limit was, but he knew he hadn't found it yet, hadn't even gotten close. "when i know what i want i don't stop until i get it, it's the way i am", shrugs at her praise, not being able to hide how it lifts him a little. he was focused on his sport which most of the time meant his grades suffered, too much time spent on the football pitch and not enough spent studying and preparing for tests. "oh no need for that, you can just take your top off and sit on that", idly waves his free hand in the air, chuckling at the image that conjures up in his mind. bare tits, cunt soaking her own t-shirt as she practically begs for arlo to close the space between them and play with her. "mhm it's all about the mixed media aspect, y'know? i think it'll really help me learn if i have something to watch . . . maybe more than once." while he was alluding to content definitely not suited to essays and multiple choice questions arlo also would appreciate some actual help toward his biology grade --- once they got this tension down a notch or two. "it can be hot", relents with a slow shrug, "but i've dealt with girls who want a quick fuck and nothing else but they don't actually say that. or it goes the opposite way and i'm an asshole for not realising. i just want someone to come out and fucking say it how it is --- that they wanna be fucked over and over again until they can't handle it anymore, until their cunt is too full of cum to take another load." he thinks ayla might be that girl, the one who actually understands him, who can match him perfectly. "you have a big appetite?" hues dance across her beautiful face, landing on those sinful lips. licking that digit clean the man slowly pulls back, releasing her finger with a light pop. "and we don't want you to get wet in public, do we? the owners might not like it if their booth is stained by you . . . but i would." and there's another tug on her dark hair, a knowing smirk playing on his mouth.
#unraptures#( &&. ayla | interactions )#( &&. ayla | arlo )#PLSSS HAVE U MET ME ??#we are queens of yapping welcome back to town <3#ilyyyyy
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
had a dream last night during which my little brother took a nap and woke up in his baby-faced kid body. and i was like dude. i already struggle to dream you as an adult. must you make life harder on me.
#i think he got annoyed with me lmao#rightly so i mean he definitely was not enjoying being cute again and in theory it was my fault#jules dream journal#jules talks (and talks)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
eyes snap open. genderbend hestio/ephael lesbians. ephael flops herself on hestio all the time and gives her kisses all over just to annoy her.
#hesphael#s class heroine somehow manages to make the men very not fruity imo so like. i dont think they would do anything that can be construed as#not masculine#which means that if i want to see ephael annoy hestio in this specific way i got to genderbend them. so genderbend them it is#but also i want to see them do other cute things like give each other nicknames and gossip even more about others#and plot to kill everyone who dares to touch tesilina#anyway if anyone has suggestions for renames for hestio and ephael and their nicknames... please drop them 😔#tesilid is teslilina bc the novel alr gave us that. might need to check the spelling tho.#shes nicknamed tes bc her name is too long#which means hestio is stuck as hestio bc hes sounds too similar#i feel like hestio is gender neutral enough but ephael is like. definitely masculine. so im stuck lol#irinbi please share your secrets how do you come up with such perfect names#they dont show up on google at all even if you search only the first names#and yet they clearly have some kind of western influence. dont know enough to say what kind but its there#anyway ephael keeps loudly dropping hints that she likes hestio and hestio keeps thinking its banter#tesilina stands over there watching her two friends be idiots
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Looking at predictions for Dino Entei: half are super cute and would probably make it my fifth favourite out of the Paradox Legendaries (after Iron Leaves, Walking Wake, Iron Crown and Robo Terrakion and before Raging Bolt) and the other half are just wtf. Basically, if it’s a stegosaurus, triceratops or ankylosaurus (and I’m sure it’ll definitely be one of the three) it’ll be really cute and I’ll regret being mean to the Past Paradox Pokémon, otherwise Jesus fucking Christ! What have you done to my baby Entei?
Looking at predictions for Robo Terrakion: good to see I’m not the only one predicting orange lights. Also there are about three and none of them give it the armour that Iron Leaves and Iron Crown have. And why is the Paradox Terrakion tag on Tumblr empty when the Paradox Entei tag isn’t? This is an offence!
#paradox entei#paradox terrakion#someone has to start the tag#and after discovering that I feel the need to spam that tag#the sad thing is most of my posts about Robo Terrakion are also gonna be about Dino Entei#so I’m still gonna be contributing to the other tag (because it’ll annoy me otherwise)#luckily I love the Future Paradox Pokémon enough I can probably make a post about Robo Terrakion without it being about Dino Entei#this just isn’t the post#btw I hope Dino Entei has purple as a feather/spike colour like WW’s orange gradient and RB’s red claw fluff#yeah I’ve sorta decided to treat spike/feather colour as the theme colours for the Past Paradox Pokémon#because the glowing energy panels are definitely the Future Paradox Pokémon’s theme colours#to be fair I think I’m being a little mean ranking Dino Entei and Robo Terrakion before they’ve been announced#and I think if Dino Entei is cute then it may be the one Past Paradox Pokémon I like more than the corresponding Future Paradox Pokémon#out of the Legendaries getting Paradox’d Entei is actually my favourite and Terrakion is now my fourth favourite#(it was my least favourite then it grew on me and I realised how weird Cobalion looked also Raikou isn’t my taste either)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
#historically rage filled day yes its steddie characterizations again yes i struggle with regulating my engage#ment with fandoms in a way thats healthy for me and am still bad at learnimg to scroll#yes i love the fandom yes its the only thing that brings me remotely any joy all these things are true#hate the double standards of the way people write steve vs the way they write eddie.#hate course correcting 'the party is too mean to steve' to Now theyre mean to eddie.#in ways that should definitely be hurting his feelings and yet its seen as cute and silly#steve and robin can be mean to him and its just their dynamic 🤪#people can fill in empty spots in steves backstory with subtext but with eddie suddenly its all about canon#yes theres 18000 fics and the opposite is presumably out there. i just have never seen it#yes its probably the yaoification. the inability to not strip characters down to fit them into top bottom tropes.#if i read bottom eddie id probab;y find more of this. however i dont want to do that#hate steve meangirlisms cute and charming and everyones like oh steve but eddie has 1000 sins to repent for.#again -resumably a course correction of people writing steve as still having to repent for s1. which i agree is dumb and wrong#but its annoying when steve being judgy is seen as a likeable character trait but eddie does the same thing and suddenly he owes every#character an apology#hate that eddies insecurities are villainized but steves insecure suddenly its eddie and everyone elses job to fix him.#i just want better for both of them neither of them feel like themselves so often. which. again. is an mlm trope problem i think.#also yes steve is a main character and eddie is a dead side character. so more people are attatched to him and he has more stake like#in the narrative.#🕷.archive#eddie meta
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
your jo/dean/sam fic??👀👀👀
lmao yeah it took me a minute to find it in my wip folder because none of these fics have titles that make it easy on me (fun fact: it was sitting between one fic titled "oh my god" and another titled "choking your brother to death as an act of devotion" my wip folder is so normal)
ANYWAY. basic premise of this fic is that while I was watching s2 with my friend, I was thinking about her flirting with Dean, about how the original plan (Kripke's idea, i believe?) was for her to be their half-sister, and internally going "hey uh eric. hey eric. why was your idea directly after 'she's their sister' that 'she should want to fuck dean'" and then combine that with s2 having absolutely insane vibes around sam & dean, and i started putting together a little rewrite. nothing too fancy, just What If jo kept hunting with the boys, what if the three of them had insane sexual tension, what if she was secretly their half-sister. what if there is no escape from the winchester family curse no matter how much you try to hide from it.
it is also a fic i started for kinktober with the prompt of the day being "double penetration" asjdlaksjd. and then about 9000 words later i did not finish it in time.
i've tried to find a snippet that makes sense all on its own to share, but they're all very tied into each other, referencing lines from earlier parts and such. still! turns out i do have a little of the playthings part of the draft finished that mostly works standalone. just keep in mind this is very unfinished, try not to judge too harshly ^-^
He helps Sam into bed and watches him drunkenly snuggle into the mattress. Dean’s got the horrible urge to laugh because he knows just how shitty Sam will feel come morning and thinking about him whining over a hangover is better than lingering on Sam’s death wish. He won’t remember anything Dean said, that’s what he holds onto. He’ll be too busy vomiting his guts up to know what Dean just promised him.
Dean turns, and there’s Jo. He’s yanked violently out of his and Sam’s tiny world and into one where Jo’s brown eyes have witnessed every transgression this night. Dean wishes the worst of it was what he promised Sam, but he can still smell Sam’s breath as it beat against his face, his lips centimeters from Dean’s, dipping and swerving like he wanted as badly to kiss him as to run and never come back.
Jo is staring.
Dean goes on the offensive. It’s easiest.
“You let him get like this while we’re working?” he asks. Jo’s face ricochets through emotions, wide, confused eyes to her mouth twisting into a scowl to it falling open a little, head tipped into astonishment more than anything else.
“You think I could have stopped him?” There’s a slur to her words that Dean picks up on. She hears it, too, shakes her head. “I thought we were having fun. And then, I thought he was trying to prove he could drink me under the table. And then, he got...” She gestures at Sam. Sam snores, always so helpful. She looks between him and Dean. She meets Dean’s eyes, and then her gaze falls, in a way that should be familiar and instead leaves him nauseous, to his lips.
“Jo,” he says, “please.” He wants to say that he’s begging please don’t tell anyone else. But... cat’s out of the bag. There’s no way she can’t be putting the pieces together. He knows what he’s really asking. Please don’t look at this like it’s something ugly. Don’t look at Sam like he’s a monster. Don’t look at me like I ruined everything.
(And deep down, he’s crying out, please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me, I know you will one day but don’t let it be now, not for this.)
Jo’s gaze darts over to Sam again. She’s got her arms crossed.
“Please,” Dean says again.
“He was drunk,” she says, slowly. It’s almost like a way out. Pretend this never happened. Go back to normal. Only Dean can’t take that option either, not if she knows and she hasn’t run away screaming yet. Just one more person to bear this secret, and maybe it won’t be so heavy. (Jo doesn’t deserve to have to carry it, to have to hide it, but Dean is so tired of him and Sam being the only ones.)
She waits for him to take the out. He doesn’t.
“But that’s not why he was trying to stick his tongue in your mouth,” she finishes.
“He’s messy when he’s had too many.” Dean’s voice is too strained.
“You’re real fucked up, you know that?” Jo says. Dean expects it to come with a slamming door or something thrown at him. It doesn’t.
“I know,” he says. “We know.”
“Who else?”
“What?”
“Who else knows?” Dean shrugs.
“I don’t know.” Gordon’s eyes, narrowed and disgusted and murderous. “We don’t exactly give that info out freely.”
“Just me, then?” Dean could point out that he didn’t tell her either, that she eavesdropped on him and Sam’s private world. It doesn’t change anything, and besides, he’s telling her now, isn’t he? Can't help himself.
“It’s just you,” he confirms. “You gonna stand on a street corner and start shouting ‘Extra! Extra! The Winchesters are brotherfuckers!’” Jo grimaces.
"Don’t put words in my mouth. I'm not going to tell anyone," she says. “I’m not- Let me think.” She puts her hand to her forehead, grimace deepening, and then he hears her mutter, “Fuck.” He knows that tone very well. He’s said that exact word that exact way dozens of times. Jo stumbles as fast as she can into the bathroom. She manages to make it to the toilet before she starts retching. Dean moves without thinking twice, bending down next to her and gathering up her hair in his hands. He holds it out of her face and listens to her curse around the burn of stomach acid and alcohol in her throat. When she’s done, she slumps. Dean flushes for her.
He should probably back off. Let her go.
He strokes her back instead. He can just barely feel her heartbeat against his palm, reaching through muscle and skin and the thin fabric of her tank top to reassure him she’s still here.
#in terms of like. wincest-adjacent fic that i have written. this is definitely tilting more into the gothic horror side of things.#the 'this family is a tar pit and once you step in you can't get back out' kind. and jo went wading before she had any idea.#i mean there's quite literally a line that goes#'Truth is. him and Sam. they're a sinkhole. A gravity well. A rapid pair of dogs that infect whoever they bite.#and Jo was showing symptoms. There’s no cure that’ll work on her anymore.'#so that is the vibe. there are also cute parts like jo putting her feet up on the impala dashboard to annoy dean.#or her and sam passed out together and dean thinking that if he squints. she's almost like jess's ghost in his brother's arms.#because what's a little accidental incest horror without both the sexy bits and the fluff am i right.#jo/dean/sam#wincest#tw incest#ask#spn#fanfiction#jo harvelle#dean winchester#sam winchester#look away dev
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I like this conversation between the two malon at the beginning of juggernaut about the toy and their families and everything it’s just a very nice “hey a lot of the people out here are just people” moment and I think little things like that are good at making the universe feel much more fleshed out and lived in
#idk if that’s anyone’s particular trademark I’d have to go back through some other episodes but i enjoy it#you can tell when I feel like I’ve been too mean bc then I overcompensate lmaoooo#there’s definitely shit that’s annoying me with voy rn but I am being positive I am not a hater 🙂#(that’s a lie why does b’elanna’s characterization consistently reset to s1 I’m annoyed about this)#(maybe if all her screentime wasn’t going elsewhere.)#voy liveblog#edit: ok tuvok being like yeah I was cute as a child moving on was funny
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
wish i was holding my min and ryan against me rn :-c
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#i want them both cuddling into me on each side auhh#i want to hold them both close and pet their hair as they fall asleep against me#they like to hear me while they sleep esp ryan#it helps him sleep#they like just being able to hear me talk abt whatever or read or even sing#my voice comforts them a lot#AUGH image of mins bedtime look appeared in my mind hes so CUTE#his cute hair down... he looks so so sooo fucking adorable w his bangs im going to explode into several directions#i just want to hold his face in my hands and squish his cute soft checks hfdsj#kiss his lovely nose and run my hands through his hair 💙💙#god he also canonically wore the LAMEST pjs ever those striped matching set pjs GHDFSJ#thats to adorable and funny to me and he definitely still wears them i mean it wasnt even very long ago when he wore them in canon HFDJSK#but auhh my ryan i love him sm and i still let him sleep w his face on my chest or buried in the crook of my neck even though he DROOLS#cause i LOVE HIM#love conquers ALL including being DROOLED ON#min always wakes up still looking hot while ryan is just a MESS gfhdsj#a cute mess for sure but he does NOT wake up gracefully ghfjks#gfhdjs but wahh i get annoyed w snoring but when its my ryan its ok... i think its cute#luckily he doesnt snore bad enough for it to be a problem therefore i can think of it as just cute and endearing lol#love them sm tho#we also leave the radio on on low volume while sleeping a lot#its nice to hear music while sleeping :-]#ahh i love them... i miss them so much i wish i was w them rn i dont want to sleep alone w/o them...#bahh i hope i dream w them tonight
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
youtube
It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
Adam not handling Younger Brother Teasing well is too tempting I should probably stop writing him into these scenarios but he is adorable when flustered
#pondering the ponderosa#I mean I don't handle it well either I'm definitely being hypocritical here#we have a lot in common#wonder how he'd react to a woman flirting with him and coming on strong with no previous encouragement#would it be Cute Flustered or would he just get annoyed#...a woman who *isn't* married or otherwise someone he'd automatically rebuff#lost in adamiration
1 note
·
View note
Note
Heloo can I request a smau where the reader and lando are dating and they always do date nights but its not really a date night cus oscar is always with them everytime lily isnt there and he just becomes their child 😭 thank you thank youu
just us, and your friend steve | lando norris
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: at first you were annoyed by oscar being at all of your dates, until you started to miss him when he wasn’t.
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 572,016 others!
yourusername: date night with my boyfriend <3…and his boyfriend!
view comments below!
user1: oscar the certified 3rd wheel
user2: that picture is so cute
landonorris: i love you :)
yourusername: haha simp
landonorris: oscar give my girlfriend her phone back
yourusername: fine 😒
yourusername: i love you too lan :D
landonorris: there she is!
user3: man i would KILL to be a third wheel in this relationship
user4: i would be landos boyfriend 😏
user5: is lando oscar’s only friend??
landonorris: yes!
oscarpiastri: it’s not nice to lie lando
landonorris: im not lying?
oscarpiastri: i have other friends!
landonorris: oh…then why don’t you go hangout with them instead of 3rd wheeling with me and my girlfriend?
oscarpiastri: …
landonorris: that’s what i thought!
yourusername: that was not nice lando.
landonorris: it wasn’t meant to be nice, it was the truth!
yourusername: still, it was mean.
oscarpiastri; yeah lando. it was MEAN.
landonorris: don’t gang up on me??
user6: LMAOO they hang out for one night and they become like this 🤞
user7: i need more of this trio
danielricciardo: and why wasn’t i invited?
maxverstappen1: i have the same question?
landonorris: because you guys have other friends! for osc it’s just me and yn
oscarpiastri; I HAVE OTHER FRIENDS.
landonorris: shhh, shhh, shhh baby it’s okay. it’s okay.
yourusername: baby 🤨
landonorris: omg it just slipped out
user8: that’s…interesting!
user9: yn and lando are so cute together
user9: and oscar cute too ig?
user10: you guess?? that man is gorgeous
user11: the “…and his boyfriend” is TOOO funny. yn i love you
user12: she’s seriously so funny
user13: how can people hate her?
user14: they’re most definitely just jealous
maxverstappen1: oh but when i want to make a heart shaped pizza with you it’s weird?
landonorris: yes!
maxverstappen1: double standard much?
landonorris: she’s my GIRLFRIEND
maxverstappen1: AND WHAT AM I?
user15: i feel like im interrupting something
yourusername: how do you think i feel…
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 528,058 others!
yourusername: paddle and golf with my baby <3 and my baby 🥹
view comments below!
landonorris: why does he get the cool picture and i get that?
yourusername: i think both pictures summarize you guys perfectly!
landonorris: so he’s cool while i’m a loser?
yourusername: i didn’t say that but…
landonorris: WOW, already favoriting the child. i can’t believe this.
yourusername: my child will ALWAYS come first.
oscarpiastri: :D
user16: we went from “my bfs bf” to “my child 🥹”
user17: WE DID IT GUYS
user18: yn and lando adopting oscar agenda is HAPPENING
charle_leclerc: are you trying to steal my child from me?
yourusername: it’s not really stealing if he willingly comes with…
charles_leclerc: it’s just stockholm syndrome, don’t worry oscar i’ll get you away from them soon
oscarpiastri: im actually having lots of fun :)
charles_leclerc: OMG WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM
user19: we got lando and yn adopting oscar…but we lost this during
user20: totally worth it
danielricciardo: when is it my time to be adopted?
maxverstappen1: you are a 35 year old grown man.
danielricciardo: 😐
user21: why is max coming for daniel??
maxverstappen1: i’m bored. since APPARENTLY i’m not landos paddle partner anymore
landonorris: max…i can explain…
maxverstappen1: save it. don’t call me. don’t come by my house. we’re done.
landonorris: i see you watched diary of a wimpy kid
maxverstappen1: i did indeed..
user24: they’re at it again…
user22: max is so funny
user23: i love him
user24: oscar being so quite during all of his is so him coded
user25: he’s just enjoying being out and about
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 601,958 others!
yourusername: vacation with the boyfie <3
view comments below!
user26: omg lando looks so good
user26: i’m going into heat
user26: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
user26: GRRRR
user27: this is the first post in 2 months that doesn’t have oscar…
user28: and the crowd…cry’s?
user29; i can’t be the only one who thought oscar would 100% go with them on vacation
user30: i definitely thought so too!
user31: they’ve literally spend all their extra time together
maxverstappen1: how many times did he belly flop?
yourusername: i’ve been swore to secrecy.
user32: she’s so lucky
user33: right? ‘the boyfie’ IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO CALL LANDO NORRIS YOUR BF??
charles_leclerc: guess who’s with me right now 😏
landonorris: charles…don’t.
charles_leclerc: hehehe
yourusername: you’re just his rebound. you’ll never be me.
charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiatsri what do you think?
oscarpiastri: i still like yn better
charles_leclerc: i bought you ice cream…
oscarpiatri: you could never be her 🤷
yourusername; IM COMING HOME FOR YOU OSCAR
landonorris: see what you did charles?
maxverstappen1: how are you holding up?
yourusername: i feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest. i have no reason to wake up.
maxverstappen1: oh!
user34: max was NOT expecting that answer
user35: if oscar doesn’t get himself over to that damn island soon istg
user36: THATS HER BOY 💔💔💔
oscarpiastri: did you find any crabs? :D
yourusername: yes. i will put them in my suitcase and take them with me to show you
user37: so this is crazy!
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 713,046 others!
yourusername: look who joined us!! my son <3
view comments below!
user38: THEY REUNITED!!!
maxverstappen1: how did she take it? 🤣
landonorris: she cried.
yourusername: i did not!
landonorris: yeah baby you did…
oscarpiastri: yn you know how much i hate agreeing with lando, but yes you did cry
yourusername: I MISSED MY SON, GOD FORBID I CRY??
user39: i get you yn. i really do
user40: omg this is so cute
user41: truly adorable
oscarpiastri: now i can see all the crabs in person :D
yourusername; THATS MY SON EVERYONE
charles_leclerc: he was mine first 🥲
yourusername: #getoverit??
landonorris; can’t believe you cried when you saw him
yourusername: i was EMOTIONAL
landonorris: in the four years we’ve been dating you have never cried when seeing me
yourusername: i see you all the time! no need to cry!
landonorris: i want you to cry! cry for me!
oscarpiastri: you could never be me ;)
landonorris: i will send you back to australia
yourusername: if you send him back, i’m going with him
landonorris: WOW.
user42: we have officially entered the era where yn is choosing oscar over lando
user43: her son > her boyfriend
danielricciardo: does this mean i can hop on a plane and go visit you
landonorris: NO. this is officially a family vacation.
danielricciardo: and i’m not family? 💔
yourusername: you’re that one uncle that you see twice a year and don’t talk to or interact with for the rest of said year.
danielricciardo; yeah that makes sense.
. . .
notes; thank you for requesting!! hope you enjoyed :)
#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fluff#lando norris fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 social media au#f1#f1 fluff#formula one smau#formula one x you#formula one x reader
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
texting a number neighbor out of boredom.
> what's the difference between a hippo and a zippo
it's a stupid joke. you don't expect an answer. you’re certain your other number neighbor blocked you. as quickly as you send it, you forget it. you find another distraction. it isn't until hours later, just past midnight, that you get a response.
>> How did you get this number?
it's not much, but it's engagement. you smirk at your glowing screen. should you continue? at best, you make a stranger laugh. at worst, you're only mildly annoying. there's no real harm.
> no guesses then?
when they fail to respond within a few minutes, you figure they decided to block you after all. so, it really is harmless to text again. you owe it to them to finish the joke.
> one is real heavy and the other is a little lighter
you lock your phone, figuring that's that, but—a notification bubble appears.
>> Amateur hour. >> What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
you roll over, grinning. you know this one.
> straight to the dirty jokes, stranger?
>> The best kind I know.
> debatable
>> Unlike some, I don’t waste time.
> that why you only last 60 seconds?
it’s a dirty and mean joke, but no cruder than the cinderella punchline. if they can dish it out, they can take it. still. it’s a long couple of minutes before they respond.
>> That was at least 90 seconds.
you snort, rolling over again in bed with a gleeful kick. it goes on like that for a while. filthy joke for filthy joke. bad joke for bad joke. some raunchy. some flirtatious. neither of you bother with names. they never even ask why you texted a random number. eventually you glance at the clock. it’s an ungodly hour. this has gone on long enough.
you send a goodnight message and decide fuck it. you snap a quick photo of yourself in bed, both hands holding it above your head on the pillow. only the lower half of your face is visible to show off your big smile. blurry but cute. definitely no harm in sending it if it isn’t your whole face.
> thanks for making me laugh all night :) have a nice life!
you swiftly block the number, getting ahead of any possible creepy response. the twinge of guilt passes. you choose to believe that you made someone’s day. who wouldn’t want to trade dumb jokes with a cute face?
you let the conversation drift to the back of your head and forget about it. you get busy. no time to dick around like you used to. weeks pass. every once in a while you hear a terrible line and think of your number neighbor, but they stay blocked.
one evening, arriving home late from work, a hand catches the lift door just before it shuts. in steps a massive fella, tall enough that your head dips all the way back when you reflexively ask which floor. he hides behind a mask and a cap, but you glimpse a pale pink scar jutting over a cheekbone. he glances at the panel, and mutters your floor number.
when the lift starts to rise, your stomach sinks. he doesn’t turn around like one would normally. he blocks the doors, wide shoulders heaving with deep breaths. his eyes drill into you, studying you intently.
the moment you decide to hit the elevator’s help button, he speaks.
“why’d the ghost take the lift?”
your mouth dries. wait.
he steps forward, caging you into the corner. the mask lifts slightly in the corners. his eyes crinkle. he’s smiling.
“to lift ‘is spirits.”
he raises an open palm and slots it over the top half of your face, then chuckles. as it comes down, he leans closer.
“why’d you block me, sweet’eart?”
2K notes
·
View notes