#i mean. i do think it looks terrible
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like sorry to talk about caroline calloway in 2023 but i will never stop thinking about her painting her rental floor white. like i get it i will have an Ambitious idea and simply start doing it with no thought process too and i’m not sure if she was in active addiction at the time but that might have been a factor. and even like if she had Just painted the floor white i wouldn’t care everything is temporary etc and idc about landlords but. the thing that continues to tickle me is how. instead of picking her clothes up off the floor. she simply painted Around them
like. this will never not entertain me. just chuck that stuff on a couch for a couple days!!!!
#i mean. i do think it looks terrible#dont want to understate that like the Bright White on the floor with a beige wall Please be real#i think if you have a wall or floor that is Bright White you cannot have anything else white or close to white (on the yellow side at least)#because next to the Bright White it just looks dirty#you gotta go with bright or dark colours Or if you wanna do a light colour you really gotta consider if it’ll look bad Next to the white
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#iwtv#devil's minion#armandaniel#daniel molloy#armand#armand iwtv#iwtv*#min.gif#shows#*mark lee voice* oh dude he's filrting#no bc genuinely what was the meaning of this.#the verdict is..... old man fucker!#anyways. very pleased with the coloring on these gifs if i do say so myself#EDIT: i'm sobbingggg i think my old ass laptop just has terrible color accuracy bc i'm seeing these gifs on my phone and tablet#and they look so bad LMFAO. so just pretend you're looking at these gifs from my laptop and i promise they look good#iwtvedit#ㅇㅇㅎ
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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I tried but not very hard to see what the anniversary date was, and i decided to just prepare myself for the 16th or the 18th... it was the former. so, as always, but this time truly by accident... happy belated 17th birthday Black Butler!! I truly hope this year is amazing for us.
this year, I decided to use an idea I had wanted to try for a while but I never thought I would be able to pull off. and I still probably couldn't in the best way.... but regardless, here is a made up last chapter scenario.
you can also see this comic on webtoon here. whatever your fancy, if you please :>
#I don't know if this thing makes any sense or if it means anything at all. or if it looks like anything actually carefully put together#but hey it was nice! so I hope it brings a little bit of pleasant feelings... or terrible ones idk#i was going a page a day fully intending to finish by the 13th the latest but yeaaa things came up. but whatever this is the last day that#I'm in america until some months later so it's still a special day for me! so it still counts. and also do specifics really matter so much#at this point#sadly while I wasn't rushed this time I did intend to use the remaining days i had to revise the visuals framing and diologue. so I'm not#100% confident. but c'est la vie#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#digital art#and... I would be absolutely lying if I didn't try to put just a little bit of dadbastian undertones in there. it's what I do#but I think it's up for interpration. after I decided that I was gonna draw in my own style instead of trying to replicate yana's(as fun as#that would be) i decided to go crazy
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So yes I have OF COURSE read @naffeclipse new fic Apex Polarity and yes, I AM OBSESSED!
So I decided to make a little comic of how I think their "first encounter" might have looked like from Eclipse's perspective.
I can't help but think about how alien and scary we most look to him (especially if there is a history of fasco hunting polar sirens in the past). With all that gear we look like emotionless beings, just observing and uncaring of this ice world. But then when y/n shows up and probably exudes this joy and wonder for his world + shows respect for the creatures and the environment??? Mmh yeah, I can see Eclipse falling for y/n, especially considering how alone he might be...
So yes, that's what I have for today! If you want to read the fic I'll link it right here. I can't recommend it enough, but as always, read the tags so you know what you're getting into! And lastly I also want to @themeeplord beacuse Eclipse's design is basically their design in my style (god I love their design so much, their character/creature designs are the BEST) so all the credit goes to them! Polar!Y/N is my design thou! ;P
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read the two latest chapters-
YIPPEE!!!
#apex polarity#orca!eclipse#polar y/n#dca#dca fandom#I am once again plagued by the terrible ramble disease#but I got thoughts and I wanna share them >:/#so here are some more:#when I say the humans look alien I mean Grey alien level alien#Emotionless face? Check. Big empty eyes? Check. Studying and probing the inhabitants? Check. Possibly abducts inhabitants? Check#or mad scientist vibe#imagine professor Membrane from Invader Zim while he's saying 'I know better know' <- that kind of vibe#ok- one last thought!#as you can see- I decided to go full out and try coloring and stuff!#and one of the reasons why I decided to do that is because I'm not well practised in those departments- but I want to get better at them!#so if you think this looks like a hot mess- it's because they are XD#but with all this considered- I think I did pretty well!#So I hope you enjoyed it! XD#Now I'm giving all of you who's read ALL OF THIS a giant gold star#because wow- you're dedication and focus is absolutely INSANE and I appreciate you taking the time to read this#NOW GO AND BE FREE MY FRIEND!!!
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Not etho deciding to cut out the bit where he says "Oh you know we joked about not being serious teammates, but uh.. maybe... maybe..." because that looks really bad when he finishes the episode by joining cleo and the others
#nics rambles#ethoslab#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#tuff guys#sigh. just when it was starting to look like it would work out <3#so many interesting things here actually. like i could SEE etho really contemplating whether the trident is worth it and thinking through#how he hasnt actually done this betrayal thing yet and Maybe itll work but also the tuff guys arent REALLY a team so its fine#and well of course he should join a team of three winners (and impy i guess) what are bdubs and tango going to do for him???#and he also HAS to put that plausible deniability in there (“i mean ive been pretty#much betraying EVERYBODY this season but ill try my best“ ”im a terrible teammate- just putting it out there-“)#i need to study him like a bug#sooo excited to see where he goes but also if he betrays cleo he deaaad so. heh.
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Quick re-do of a 4 year old piece
#to test my abilities... no jk#I mean kind of lol#I WANTED To test my abilities but then I couldnt think of anything#so then I just redid an older piece#I remembered the old one started black and white and then I did effects over it so I did that again#cause I just wanted to play around with lighting#and I think its pretty obvious how much I've improved#I also only spent like an hour on the second one#wasnt trying to make anything amazing here#just trying t make something that reminds myself how growth can look and feel#important stuff to do as an artist#I'm still sick btw lol#I love how when youre losing your voice everyone goes 'wow you sound terrible'#I get why. I sound terrible. but its so fucking funny like. culturally#like holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you !#but its polite and empathetic#I havent been getting work done on account of is sick#actually not entirely true#I did a good bit of work for we were legion and some for TTA too#but it was just no drawing work#all writing work#which theres just a lot more of to for wwl than for tta#anyways#we were legion#zagan#art redo#art improvement#spent easily twice as long on the original thats a skill upgrade roight there
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you know when you experienced something so traumatizing or grieved too hard your brain sort of temporarily locked that memory to protect you from the pain? i think that's what's been happening to me after deadpool 2 bc tell me why every time i rewatch that movie, i always forget how painful these scenes are?
they always leave me sobbing and totally wrecked but with each rewatch i'd just... forget they would eventually happen and i'd eventually get hurt??
#i love poolverine but wade x vanessa will always have a special place in my heart#they're it for me#but then again as much as i'd love them to get back together i also think they shouldn't#and this is my personal opinion#bc just like logan whose past shaped him into the man who saved the multiverse#i think vanessa played that role in wade's current life#and i can see why wade said he did it all for her. but if marvel makes her dump dermot to go back to wade that's just 🤕#well i wouldn't like that and i think that'd be a disrespect to her character n story n choice she made#and honestly i won't even bother going to the “well she could've still loved and wanted him back” discussion bc#i do think she was well aware of her decision to leave wade in the end and it must've hurt her terribly too#I MEAN LOOK AT THEM. you can't convince me vanessa wouldn't want to take all of wade's pain if she could#she loved wade just as much. if not more#dp 2 might be my fav dp movie#i love how it focused on wade's struggle to cope and his journey to 'get his heart in the right place'#and no matter how goofy they tried to portray his struggles you can just see the depth and pain behind his actions#but idk maybe that’s just me#deadpool#deadpool 2#wade wilson#vanessa carlysle
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"Everything you see will be yours if you fall down on your knees and worship me."
#sketches#the stand#stephen king#nick andros#randall flagg#fan art#every time i draw them together nick looks absolutely pissed#as he should lmao but#i think i gotta draw him enjoying himself for once#randy doing a fabulous fuckin job looking not evil at all /s#i mean color me convinced look at that winning smile!#ty to my partner for helping me figure out the background <3#btw i think randy is the epitome of those terrible tornado-green storms#that emerald and all-encompassing threat of destruction#and nick is my babygirl
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IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
#having a day ^_^#I love being kind I just wish other people loved being kind more#people on the internet are SO FUCKING MEAN TO EACH OTHER???? its a terrible phenomenon#I have never seen people in real life treat others badly with the horrifying proportion of hate I see online#please. try to be kinder try to be more patient even when its frustrating#I have changed minds and deescalated arguments SO many times by being kind.#if someone is spouting misinfo in a furious rage and they're saying hurtful things? try responding with patience and kindness#even when you don't feel they deserve it. because one of 2 things usually happens#EITHER. they immediately shift their tone because you're talking to them like an equal and not an idiot#OR they continue to be horrible and it makes them look really nasty. its not a good look!! most people won't do the second thing!!#hateful online arguments has turned my mental health into a disgusting stew in the past#since I started being kind out of sheer frustration my mental health has improved a thousandfold#listen. sometimes its okay to be mean. if someone tells you to kill yourself I dont think its appropriate to give them patience and kindnes#BUT. if you treat someone like they're stupid. even if you're right!!! they won't listen to you or consider your words!!#because admitting you're right means admitting that they're stupid like you think they are. that feels bad so people won't do it#my wisdom. today I am so tired
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People who act like Seven of Nine is a naive child being taken advantage of when it comes to c/7 but not j/7 hmm...examine that.
#It's also a pet peeve of mine (not related to the racism of the above treatment of Chakotay) when people treat Kes as if she's a child#referring to the Elogium as like LITERAL puberty as if she was a pre-pubescent before - please let me know if I'm missing something#but isn't the Elogium like literally just the Pon Farr but since the Ocampa have a lifespan of 5-8 years they can only do it once?#I mean I know it's just because people don't like Neelix but it feels like a terrible disservice to Kes' character to infantilize her#just for the sake of making Neelix look worse - he's already not a good boyfriend to her you don't need to pretend he's a predator#I don't like it - I don't like when it feels like people are taking some agency(?) or like...basically treating these grown women like#they're children in order to make a situation seem worse. Why not just engage with the 'text' itself?#Kes was a grown [alien] woman in a bad relationship - you don't need to make her a child#AND IN THE CASE of Chakotay/Seven - HEEEEY. HEY. WHY do you think Chakotay is some big bad predator if he expresses#interest in Seven of Nine but beautiful white Janeway isn't if you imagine her doing the same???????????#HEY. come OUT. Don't hide behind your 'go lesbians!!' I can see you shaking hands with Columbus back there!!!!!!#Chakotay and Janeway are like the same age don't hide come out here and say to everyone's face that you think non-white men#should be stoned to death for daring to touch your blonde haired blue eyed princess.
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#rough day#my dad is having a terrible time and I can't really help much without someone to help ME#so that's scary and sad#and the Christmas thing im making for my bf looks beautiful but i made a really really bad mistake#that means it is incredibly delicate to the point it will ultimately not be able to withstand things like dusting or being stored#so it has to go in a bell jar or something similar#and i will redo it completely after that#and i feel bad for making a mistake i was warned about because i badly misjudged what other artists meant by 'light layers'#i should have tried a more thorough test run but i thought there probably wasn't time and i turned out to be super right about that#i know the longevity thing doesn't matter much as long as i have it ready for my boyfriend#and everything else can get sorted later#but i am doing absolutely beautiful work on something i know won't survive and the context of the piece makes that unutterably sad#and the situation with my dad is awful and upsetting and i don't know what to do#i'm not a very good grownup i really am not and so much of what is being asked of me is crap i cannot do#or what is going to be asked of me#my boyfriend is here for me but doesn't know any more than i do and i feel very alone#anyway the thing im making may be fragile but it's still so beautiful and i think you'll love it when i share it
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kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.
and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.
and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?
hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.
it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh
#genuinely begging for discussion on this bc im too tired to think about it anymore but i think it's cool#yyh#yu yu hakusho#also apologies if any of the atsuko stuff's iffy im anime-only </3 i skimmed the wiki but. it's the wiki so grain of salt#atsuko urameshi#shizuru kuwabara#shiori minamino#keiko yukimura#genkai#yyh meta#<- i never tag stuff w that but i probably should..#this is making me a little emo about all of them but on the side more quietly kurama bc like. bro he loves his mom so much and he can't tel#her ANYTHING. houghhh she will never ever know him she will live and die within his lifetime and not know any of the big beautiful terrible#life of his that she's missed. god that fucking sucks dude wait#anyway something that's only grown in importance to me is how prickly the relationships in yyh can be. like damn they do love each other#and it's even mostly a good thing. but sometimes that means you're shitty to each other. sometimes you're not great at it yk#and the characters therein are complicated and flawed without feeling like it's a huge focus. like plenty of media go here's these fucked u#guys look at how they scuttle and that's cool fr but with yyh it feels so subtle and gentle and real. it's so personal and human and i love#it. even when it means hiei doesn't reunite with the gang at the end or when genkai never tells yusuke what he means to her#y'know? that stuff used to hurt me and now it hurts me in a good touching 'god i love people' kinda way. yeah
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Can we talk about how fcked up Charles can be sometimes? Can we talk about how Charles can sometimes be actually scary as a person? Like he can legit be nefarious sometimes, but those moments are not as talked about as Erik's warcrimes (aside from the holocaust visions from TAS)
girlfriend i promise we're all very aware about how wack charles xavier can be and i assure you his nefarious moments are talked plenty from what i run into. like outside of this inbox most times you breathe charles' name to someone they'll be prepared to start swinging
#snap chats#its kinda funny tho. like out of all the charas ive fave'd over the years its funny how charles incites the most violence#and i get it i aint sayin it unfounded !!! just funny alright i stand with my problematic wife and all his wrongdoings. sometimes.#six decades of writers and writing decisions will lead to a lot of Girl What decisions#like marvel ruins. where charles is president. sorry girls im bringing it up if we wanna talk bout Fucked Up Charles#i mean those issues arent really. good. not just cause its grotesquely dark I Can Enjoy Dark And Gruesome Themes#the art's also hauntingly beautiful to look at its sad it's attached to such a nothing series. theres no real story ..#like i doint MIND dark or morally-dubious charles im a fan of it even when its done right or interesting#but thats where marvel ruins fumbles It Doesnt Do Anything Interesting with a morally corrupt charles#it just goes 'yeah hes fucked up and does terrible things now' like ok and .......... wheres the rest of the sauce ...#a less Gruesomely Fucked decision comparatively charles did was plant a virus on david because he didnt trust him Not to fuck things up#he regrets it like five seconds later after he realized How Fucked Up That Was but still ... charles ... im going to chokeslam you...#back to the main topic tho. its very funny because charles be catching strays on xmen twitter too#and i mean The Sincerest Of Strays tho i guess if you try Any xmen topic can go back to charles#but the post'll be bout an entirely different bloke or lass and theyll be wishing ill will on cue ball like girl he aint even HERE#anyway. yeah charles' imperfections is what makes him really interesting. to me. thank you#now for my next post to be an awkward juxtaposition to this one unless someone ones to throw in an ask last minute#and i mean very last minute i think i have all the tags typed up ont he other one vjeLKEJA
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I am so frustrated by my local community's attitude towards animal welfare right now. The most horrific case of animal abuse potentially worldwide happened in my direct locale. And while it's the most vile and terrible case, these crimes were committed by an incredibly disturbed individual and it does not reflect some kind of wider problem. But this terrible – truly terrible – case has meant that a certain subset of people have been pushed hardcore to the right and are now advocating for a focus on punitive measures for animal welfare violations of any kind – with no consideration for the social injustices that lead to the most common welfare issues with animals.
My community is suffering income inequality, cost of living crisis, homelessness and more than a century of racial injustice. And in response, the largely white population has lurched back to the right in a knee-jerk reaction to an insufficient centre-left government, with the total focus on CRIME in big bold letters. And now because of this Adam Britton case we are dealing with extreme paranoia around animal welfare and all these things melding together means that we've now got people calling for extremely harsh penalties for problems that are fundamentally systemic and rooted in lack of resources, money and education.
I want to shake all these people and say, how can you realistically believe that the humans "responsible" for the condition of a suffering dog are not also suffering in some comparable way? How do you not understand? How do you not see the reality out there that animal welfare is intrinsically tied to human welfare?
#the world is a terrible place#I fully agree that we need stronger laws related to the crimes Britton committed#but we do not need to focus on harsher penalties for animal welfare in general#when I can guarantee that the people that would be affected most by this are our community's most vulnerable#we should be focusing on how to get resources more widely available to people who need them#I'm really sad about this latest dog as well#but do these people care about the people that die daily in our community because of extremely poor human welfare?#like are you kidding me?#where did this dog come from?#how did it come to be infected with mange and ehrlichiosis?#do you think it's because the people “responsible” made a conscious choice to neglect this animal?#or is it more likely that they were struggling to meet the human needs they are responsible for?#I hate this world#I hate that people see terrible things and instead of pointing at the true cause would rather cause other suffering#and I do NOT recommend looking into the Britton case#I don't mean this to sound ~intriguing~ it's honestly the worst thing of all time#it's the worst animal abuse I've ever heard of ever#do not look it up#it all happened here#within 50km of me#it's horrific
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