#i mean this extends to things like world politics also i'm still learning and i'm eager to learn beyond what i am offered but that doesn't

[fionnaskyborn]

there's something to be said about the very specific feeling of frailty you feel when you come face to face with just how little you've experienced. twenty-odd years on planet earth and you haven't really watched all that many movies. an unlived life facing an uncertain future. i do not know where to point the finger of blame because i live untethered from my past, floating in the present with no clear point of reference no clear definition of who i am or what happened to me and how i turned out the way i am (fucking. can you guess why five is my favorite game. insert that one lyric from that one modest mouse song.) but you're still here, and you can still learn, and you can catch up, but it still feels like you're a pitiful little nobody looking for excuses trying to explain why you're still new to the whole being alive thing. i've got a good head on my shoulders, though, for all that's worth, so i think i might be fine.

in other news, i watched scarface tonight. it was certainly a movie. don't really understand how the movie made it big, but it did have some damn good music. i mean, i don't know. i'm still learning about the world i live in. maybe it really is as much of a masterpiece as people make it out to be and i'm too dumb to see the reason why it's considered a classic. maybe i'm right. i can't tell at the moment. it's kind of a beggars can't be choosers situation - if you ain't watched that many movies, then you can't really be a good judge of quality. but, oh, well. it's one more movie watched. it's a win because i watched a movie. and i'll watch more movies.

[thekirammanjinx]

Imagine being 28(the op) and having this takeaway/opinion on arcane. I'm laughing at how ignorant and superficial and just wrong this whole thing is. If you say jinx did nothing wrong and in the same breath condemn everything caitlyn did... you have a very null and void "argument".

-Let's talk about caitlyn: firstly they call her "white privileged" already admitting how many braincells they have working, which is none.

Also the use of the word "Machiavellian" is very interesting because using it to speak on caitlyn is so far removed from the truth, now if they had used the same word to describe ambessa, who they completely ignored an analysis on, as all the vehement s2 caitlyn haters do. We can't excuse caitlyn of her role she played but it's very telling the way the vehement, brainless, haters never ever bring up ambessa, which she plays an important part in weighing down caitlyn's shoulders and clouding her morals.

When does caitlyn ever use vi to excuse her actions or excuse the moments her prejudice shows? Never. Again yall just hate her because she's a cop.

A FICTIONAL cop. Using acab across all walks of life eliminates what it's meant to stand for. Some of you need to learn cognitive thinking and nuance. "Everyone in piltover is guilty and everyone in zaun is excused and rightful to their actions" that's not how things work. That's not even how acab works.

But again, yall are so focused on superficial moral brownie points and parading around false activism. When your politics and grandstanding only attribute to fiction that doesn't even align with irl.

Yes things can reflect reality and still have their own nuances. Arcane does, it's giving you the whole picture, you don't need to bring in the outside world. You are not smarter because you can't understand nuance and complex storytelling and can only spout "acab". You sure as hell aren't standing on any moral high ground.

-Vi, what is the commentary on her? If we're talking s1, she never left jinx by choice, she was kidnapped and thrown into stillwater.

Now if we're talking about s2, jinx is not a child, and on multiple occasions, jinx has made HER choice. It's very clear some viewers watched this with the desire for only 1 outcome: vi to never heal from everything she faced because of her past and because of powder/jinx. If vi only reason to live isn't jinx then the show is bad.

At some point jinx becomes her own person. And vi should be allowed to become her own. Vi says to jinx "you don't need me, you haven't for a while" or something along those lines, and she's right.

-Jinx. Some of you are so fragile and braindead you can't give jinx storyline any respect. It's always just "she never did anything wrong" and yall mean that so seriously. It's embarrassing.

"She's just like me for real", so you have major attachment psychosis and possess several counts of unwarranted murder? You can relate to parts of jinx, that's fine, but yall are so stuck on that, trying to be jinx or equating yourself to jinx, you can't see the story.

Jinx has multiple counts of terrorism and wrong doings. You actually, I don't even mean this sarcastically, lose any validity in your argument against caitlyn when this is your belief.

- in the full post they extend some form of understanding to every character except caitlyn. Which again, says all it needs to say. You are not morally better or a good person because you only see a fictional cop for their fictional title. If you don't look at people as people beyond that, that's when we get into a position where cycles never end.

To say all of zaun problems came from piltover and excuse jinx and silco... you are not an activist of zaun. For example, ekko, he doesn't just sit around shit talking piltover and enforcers. He understands that his own people, zaunites, are also part of the problem.

If you look at ekko and look at jinx. Zaun lament her as a figure to idolize, despite the fact for many years she was like 75% of the reason things in zaun got far worse before they could really get better. Jinx continuing to paint a target on zaun back by the end of s1 and then parts of s2.

Yall think violence against an entire system and people, vs those individuals who should be condemned for their actions and roles, is the answer.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Intercultural Bias in the Fan Experience of QL

I've been thinking about writing this post for a while, and I think it's an appropriate time for it after reading @hallowpen's post today - which if you haven't read yet, please do so.

I'm saying this as someone who's been on a lifelong journey of learning, and is also extremely aware I still have so much that I don't know. I am from the U.S. and that comes with a truckload of bias and privilege. But this is something I have learned that I think is worth sharing.

There is a danger, for those of us who are progressive, yet grew up in countries that have been historically exploitative and oppressive to other cultures.

Because colonizer bias is insidious. And it can be very tempting to say, I'm aware, I've done the anti-racism training, I've read the books, I have my own oppressions I have to fight every day, I'm aware of my privilege, I'm an ally, etc, etc, etc. But this is just like racism - if you are not being actively anti-colonialist in your interactions with other cultures, you are likely perpetuating bias and oppression.

I grew up in a very liberal part of the U.S. and had a very progressive education starting from grade school. I got education on systemic racism in junior high, my high school had one of the first gay/straight alliances in our state. I studied science in college, but since it was a liberal arts degree, I also took classes on sociology of race, the religions of Asia, Chinese history, etc.

But despite all this I still grew up in a country with a fuckton of bias about our role in how we interact with countries around the world. And as we all do with bias that we grow up with, I internalized some of that.

It wasn't until I took some graduate coursework on Intercultural Training & Communication that I really was able to recontextualize my perspective and become aware of my unconscious bias, thank to an amazing instructor.

Other countries do not need us to come in, tell them what is wrong, and tell them how to fix it. Whatever problems there are, there are people in that culture who know, who are actively working on it, and they know better than anyone outside what needs to be done.

Honestly, it doesn't even need to extend to other countries - just look at all the nonprofits and charities in the U.S. that talk about helping the poor, but in the end just perpetuate the cycle of oppression by coming in to neighborhoods and doing zero work to center the perspectives of the people most affected.

You can absolutely support and spread awareness and send money and share expertise when asked, and do the things that the people of that culture ask you to do.

But if you come in, and try to say "this is what you all are doing wrong, and this is what you should be doing" - you are perpetuating a colonialist mindset.

And yes, this extends to media as well.

This is why I struggle with some of the takes I have read, especially those that attempt to rank the "queerness authenticity" of shows, from an entirely Western perspective, with no engagement with the idea that one's queer identity is impacted by one's culture (among other things), and that it can look and be expressed in a million different ways.

There are criticisms of queer directors, blaming them for a myriad of perceived sins, with zero understanding of what queerness might mean to them both individually and as a Thai person, and what they might also be trying to navigate socially, culturally, and politically.

There are people making broad sweeping statements about the direction that they think QL is headed in - some of which enter the realm of catastrophizing - entirely based on their own subjective opinion of what is most important for a different country and culture to care most about in a particular moment in time.

You know why I'm not worried about the direction of QL? Because I know there are millions of Thai people who care about it too. I know the Thai queer community and their allies are speaking up, and pushing for change and progress. I know that they are extremely cognizant of when representation fails, and I know they are the reason representation has already improved so much (sorry interfans, it's not about us).

And yeah, sometimes the pendulum swings the other way - those of us in the U.S. should be very aware of this. But the fight doesn't stop.

There are Thai people who are working to promote mental health and therapy, to encourage people to have strong boundaries with family who have hurt them, to provide more representation for groups who still aren't seen. And someone from a different country complaining about all the ways they think their culture is failing isn't helping a thing.

Like @hallowpen says, this is not about saying you can't critique. Most of the people I follow do a great job at making it consistently clear that their perspective is subjective, and they relate it to their own life and experience. That's great, and a place for people from different cultures to connect!

But those of us who are interfans have a responsibility as members of a global community. There are people from Thailand who read your posts. From Japan, from Korea, from China. Are you speaking up to support them? Or are you talking over them? Are you expressing understanding for what they are navigating from historical context and current political conditions? Or are you just lecturing them on how you think their world should be?

[olreid]

hey I've been really loving your neverafter analysis - it made me feel like i wasn't complaining about nothing lmao and you word it much better than I could

so about that, you've mentioned the acoc finale a few times & if you have a post about that or any kind of commentary, I'm really curious to read it

<3 i dont think i have any posts from when i watched, ive deleted most of my acoc posts over the years bc they annoyed me lol. ive gotten several questions about this and will do my best to explain what i mean! it's not going to be super detailed due to i havent watched that season in literally 3 years but basically i just remember the very end of the acoc finale being really like. tonally jarring because the players were saying all this insane stuff about consolidating political power but it was being framed as a happy ending not only for the party but also for their subjects. the vibe was like, well it was tough going there for a minute but now the Right people are in charge, so it's all good now :) just no acknowledgement of the inherent violence of governance via monarchy, which again may be stupid to expect from the dnd comedy show, except for the fact that the content of the season was like. a painfully extended enumeration of The Violences of Monarchy. but i guess we learned nothing :) like let's just read from the wiki briefly about the events of the episode post-siege:

Cumulous asks Liam what is glowing in his pocket. Liam without hesitation eats the seed from Lapin Cadbury. He thinks of the change he most wants to see in the world and wishes that the creativity and magic of Candia would burst forth, and instantly Candia quadruples in size within its place on the Calorum map. Saccharina thanks Liam as the new queen of a lot more Candian land. Far off, Liam hears Lapin chuckling […] Lapin whispers to Liam on his way out, “There’s nothing wrong with being a seed guy.” A new age of Candia is born as Emperor Amethar of the House Rocks embraces his new title and brings a new age of peace to the realms […] Liam brings the Pontifex and Sir Keratin back to life in an act of mercy and locks them in prison for the rest of their lives. He leaves them, and goes back to being a seed guy […] Saccharina tries to find Cinnamon an alternative food source to Bulbian hearts, looking through all of Vegetania before returning to Candia. Just outside the castle, a tinfoil tree grows and a cranky Cinnamon eats the fruit from the tree and then grows gentle, regarding the world with love instead of hunger. 

all of this is soooo stupid and shoehorned to me... why is liam wishing for candia to grow four times larger besides that ally the player thinks that would be a good thing. WHY is liam resurrecting dead people and throwing them in jail framed as 'quirky' besides the fact that they have essentially already rolled credits and so are just ready to frame anything that happens as funny and nice because they don't want to like. get into the politics of it.

and that's not even getting into the rest of the wrap-up where like. all the bad stuff, all the outstanding conflict and tension that would naturally linger after the battle just gets done away with completely for the sake of an ending that is not tainted by even the faintest hint of complexity or violence (again, this is revealing and tells us a lot about what the table considers violent vs. what is so normalized as to not even register as violence in the moment). rather than having to grapple with having raised and domesticated a pet that feeds on people in a time of war and then still being responsible for that creature after peace has been declared, cinnamon is magically transformed into a creature that now only needs the fruit of trees to surivive. the events of the season usher in a reign of peace rather than a rocky period of distrust and repairing alliances or even open rebellion because that is the happiest ending for our royal protagonists, not because it necessarily follows logically from what took place in the finale.

all in all i feel that what the acoc finale wants to convince me of is that the season's conflict was largely a case of good vs. evil individuals rather than complex people caught in and trying to exploit violent systems, and that as long as the good people win out and have the space to rule as they want to, monarchy is not opposed to concepts like happiness or justice but indeed is highly compatible with them. we just needed a good king!!! earlier in the season it felt like there was space to question monarchy's claims to moral authority, particularly through saccharina's abuse and the outsider perspectives of her crew of outlaws. however, by the finale all of this critique has been subsumed into the narrative machine and we're back to cheering for the rulers of candia in their noble pursuit to conquer ever more land, something we hope they achieve because they have shown themselves to be pure of heart and sound in judgement. this was not a actually a forum to question whether a small group of unelected wealthy people should be allowed to govern just because they want to, but rather just an extended job interview for the rocks family, and they have passed with flying colors. anyway.

the reason i compared this week's neverafter to this particular acoc episode is that i think we are again seeing some of the limits of the table's political imagination, particularly as it relates to incarceration; imprisonment has been invoked repeatedly through the device of trapping people in timothy's book, which is either framed as a good or bad thing depending on whether it is done by a protagonist or an antagonist. if the authors or the fairies trap the characters in their respective stories, it's an abuse of power that must be challenged. however, if the party traps an annoying or superfluous npc, or a meddling princess, in their handy portable prison, it's (a) benevolent; the possibility has been raised that trapping characters in this way makes them happy, and may indeed be a way to give them a happily ever after; or (b) violent, but markedly less so than other available courses of action and thus merciful by comparison. there is no space to discuss the inherent violence of incarceration or entrapment even if it is used as an alternative to death, which IS INSANE in a season where the horror that kicked everything off was the horror that what the characters thought were their lives was actually a prison made of narrative.

across these two seasons i think we are seeing an inability or perhaps just an unwillingness to contend with the inherent violence of being held against one's will. the problem for the party seems not to be that characters experience various levels of incarceration by virtue of being trapped in narratives, but rather that the wrong people have been imprisoned while those who truly deserve the punishment roam free. the party, our protagonists, have been trapped in story despite their inherent goodness, while the true bad actors -- the fairies, the princesses, the gander -- are allowed to roam free. according to this logic, simply capturing and imprisoning everyone who advances a plan the party doesn't agree with will be a satisfactory outcome and should be enough to set the world to rights.

tldr it frustrates me as a viewer when d20 seasons make a point to explicitly raise and explore structural issues only to "solve" them at the last minute with individualist fixes that do nothing to address the root cause of said issues. it adds insult to injury when they try to tell me the ending is a happy one simply because it made the party happy, even if others had to suffer for that to be so.

[mxthbladed]

Vaggie, Mannerisms and PTSD

Fuck it, I'm gonna do the thing.

So, this is specific to my take on Vaggie but this will be integral to her reactions and the way she sees herself and the world.

First and foremost: as an exorcist, Vaggie was part of an army- a militaristic culture that has left a lasting impression on her. As such, Vaggie values the chain of command. During her time as an exorcist, she deferred to Lute and Adam, whether she liked them/their decisions or not because, at the time, she respected their authority. After falling, this extends to Charlie and, later, Lucifer and the others in the hotel.

As she stated in the show, "There is nothing stronger than the trust between comrades in arms!" Due to her militaristic lifestyle in Heaven, Vaggie learned how to trust through battle. The trust you gain in someone when you're on a battlefield, risking your lives for each other, is a completely different kind of bond. If she has fought beside someone and they defended one another, her trust in that person has been earned. In Hell, this begins to shift slightly towards the end of season 1 but not by much. Her trust is still hard to earn but she has a lot of respect for battle prowess and people who feel love and loyalty as deeply as she does.

Now then. Because of her militaristic background, her manner of speaking is blunt and honest, almost to a fault of being hurtful or rude. However, this does not mean that is how she intends her speech to be taken- it is just how her manner of speaking is. Likewise, she is unafraid to call out her superiors (or those that would be notably ranked higher than herself), even going so far as to swear at them to convey her message. If her respect is earned and the person is an authority figure, she's more likely to refer to them as "sir" or "ma'am."

Other than her manner of speech, notable habits that she has and persist even years later: she has a higher than average tolerance for physical discomfort, wakes up quickly and ready for action, very detail-oriented, knows how to clean and organize living space, can sew basic repairs (can fix buttons, minor tears, patches, etc), is aware of political structure and information on important enemy figures, has a low tolerance for laziness or slacking, refuses to ask people to do things that she herself will not do, likes having clear orders, following chain of command and fair penalties, works efficiently and quickly, is very self-reliant and has a fairly high tolerance for work stress.

Her fall, however, created a stark change in some of Vaggie's behaviors. While she's incredibly loyal when someone proves themselves to her, due to her status being stripped by Lute and Adam, her trust in others was shaken deeply and she developed PTSD.

Vaggie's PTSD is something I wish to characterize as I, as the mun, have PTSD associated with the military and it's something that I feel Vaggie would also deal with.

Now, concerning her PTSD: Vaggie suffers from night terrors, insomnia, flash backs and depression. Her night terrors often deal directly with her fall, either making her relive the experience or an altered version in which she was not left alive or Charlie never found her. These usually cause her to wake suddenly, either screaming or in tears. She hates talking about her night terrors and, if touched immediately after, will pull away and begin to panic. Charlie is the only one canonically who can calm her down from these (unless plotted otherwise). Vaggie's insomnia regularly keeps her up quite late and she doesn't sleep particularly long. Flash backs can be triggered but they're much more rare. She has scars on her back from where her wings were initially torn and they are quite sensitive. Rough hits to this area run the possibility of triggering a flash back, which would cause a panic attack. Panic attacks, flash backs and night terrors are all incredibly taxing both physically and emotionally and Vaggie is usually exhausted after any of these. It's not uncommon for her to have a migraine after any of these. Her depression causes a lot of issues like a deep-seated self-loathing, abandonment issues and trust issues.

Aggie (my take on a transmasc Vaggie) would also have these issues but also compounded with other issues that I'm probably gonna cover in a different post because this is long enough already.

[chesacakeripper]

vent post incoming because I am not sure if I'm having a proportional reaction to this or not and throwing it out into the void might help...

So. For context.

My mum's side of the family is very Organised. Particularly my aunt, who is queen of the Itinerary, but this also comes from primarily my grandad (in his 80s but pretty fucking healthy & ex-navy). I love them to bits, they're the Most Sane extended family I have (father's side has all sorts of weird interfamilial politics going on (which I shan't get into but jfc) and my stepdad's family is very nice but also Very Religious.

Bearing this in mind, they have this tradition of these big family holidays around special occasions - these have been the only family holidays I've ever been on barring boating with just my father and grandma when I was a kid - and they are always like. A big affair. Domestic, not abroad, but it's always Rent A Big House in an Area for a Time and then have extremely itinerised activities and have lots of Family Fun (usually whilst me and my mum quietly seethe about it because my aunt has Money and we have historically been very poor, so it's always been more of a burden for us but we just have to suck it up and deal.)

Anyway, this was Tolerable when I was a kid or a teenager and, ya know, in school and living at home.

I am now a 26 year old adult with a Real Job that has a fucked up rota of unsociable hours, that I often don't get until weeks before I'm due to start shifts, and runs year-to-year on the academic year calendar August to August. I also live several hundred miles away from my family.

Last year, there was a Big Family Holiday planned months in advance that I told them from the outset I was unlikely to be able to attend, because the date of it fell on my rotational week from one speciality to another, on a completely different site, and I would either not be able to take leave during that week due to mandatory induction or simply not *want* to due to learning how a new job works. So I didn't go.

My grandad evidently missed me being there (and is feeling his age a bit) so wanted to do another Big Family Holiday this year. Which I was asked about via a message from my mum. Initial planned date was september time 2023 which I said, yo that's way too far ahead for me to even know if I'll have a training post or even know where in the damn country I'll be working - this year I'm taking a year out of training to work ad-hoc shifts and have a break from the Relentlessness of Covid Pandemic Medicine, so like, before August would be good! Because I'm choosing my own hours!

Okay, mum said, are there any dates that are a solid no for you right now?

Ah, I said. Not during the week of Glastonbury Festival. Because we're trying to get tickets this year as it might be my only chance to definitely go and it's my partner's favourite place in the whole world.

This was. All the input I had. In the planning of this family holiday.

I received confirmation a bit later (this was in september 2022) to say that IT'S BEEN BOOKED! Family Holiday is GO!

For EIGHT ENTIRE DAYS in early July, like literally five days after Glasto is done.

Okay, I say, pissed off that I didn't get any input in how fucking long this holiday was, or, crucially, where it was. I got sent a link to a holiday house that I had a skim through but didn't think more about it other than, fuck me, a bit rude not to include me in literally any other part of the planning.

Skip ahead to now - May 2023 - I have secured a training post in a nearby city starting in August, which is excellent news, but still means I have to move house.

So I sit down with my partner as we try and run logistics on getting packing materials and looking at leadtimes on renting, and looking at quotes on storage units and the like.

I get my calendar up and check dates and when things are going to be best planned.

And I realise I have this fucking 8 day chunk of July blacked out for this family holiday that I absolutely have to attend this year because my grandparents are getting old and it might be The Last Big Family Gathering before something happens to their health, right. And I missed the one last year, so I gotta be at this one, otherwise shame on me.

This 8 day chunk of July that's right smack bang in between Glasto and When We Need to Be Moving House.

And then I double check where the fuck in the country this holiday is supposed to be, again.

*Dartmouth*. It's in. Fucking Dartmouth. Which if you are unaware of the British Isles Geography is right in the southwest corner of the fucking country. And is approximately a 5.5 hour no stops drive away from where I live.

Readers, if you've gotten this far I need to tell you something. I don't yet have a driving licence. I'm in the process of doing lessons and have my test booked for the 20th June. Which is the day before we leave for glasto, right. So even if I pass my test first time (I might not, pass-rates are about 50% here), the only chance I will have to practice driving on motorways etc will be on the 4.5 hour drive to glasto, and then possibly on the way back.

Partner can and does drive, right, but probably can't come to Big Family Holiday because he'll either still be in work that week OR will be sorting the moving house stuff out in my absence.

So if I pass my driving test, I might have to do a 5.5hour solo drive cross country completely alone on big fucking motorways less than two weeks after passing my test. Not fucking ideal.

Alternatively, I could take the train. which costs (with a railcard) nearly £120 for a return and takes approximately EIGHT HOURS each way.

Other options would be to travel even earlier (still also via train, as it's also a 5 hour drive to where they live) to my parents and accompany them on the 4.5 hour drive from where they live to Holiday Destination, because my family decided to choose a place to go on holiday that is pretty much an equal distance from both of our locations but NOT IN A HELPFUL WAY. We'll still all have to travel the same fucking amount to the far corner of the damn cross country triangle between us.

Third option is to beg my friend who lives near glastonbury to let me stay with her or in her parent's house for the inbetween five days and then travel the 2 hours to Holiday Destination from there, but this isn't ideal because 1) I'd need to pack clothes for three weeks, 2) we only have one vehicle so how would partner get home, and 3) due to moving house I do actually need to be back at home in that inbetween time.

Anyway. I'm pissed off. Because I'm an adult with a job and none of the planning for this family holiday other than *avoid this one specific week* was done with any kind of consideration toward me. It feels like I'm still being treated as a child that can just Drop Everything and Attend an event I'm not even particularly thrilled to be going on (for eight entire fucking days) and if I don't or can't go I'm in the wrong.

/scream

[asian-fiction]

Cultural sensitivity will help you understand dramas better

People get sensitive over the idea that one should try cultural sensitivity because often it means self-reflection. Humans processing difference, is definitely still a problem today. But here we go. Honestly, this type of behavior is why I stopped doing cultural notes so often. It's always rounds of people jumping in to defend the outsider and telling me to be nice to their cultural insensitivity and let them track mud into my house, and then telling me that me calling them out for tracking mud into my house is a terrible idea and I shouldn't do that. Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Friends also shouldn't let friends be culturally insensitive and beat up the person trying to extend learning either.

First of all, I've been trained in Cultural Anthropology--I have a degree in it. I also taught classes for a big media company in cultural media sensitivity. And 101 class in Anthropology says the first thing you need to do is pause judgement--which is what I said. Pause judgement.

I mean, if Cultural Anthropology didn't teach about how to get over yourself and culture shock, more Anthropologists would be tossed out of the communities they've been studying. Which is to say I know what I'm doing when I'm pushing against things like imperialism and ethnocentricism. I had the same challenges presented to me. I have no need to be nice about it, but I will be kind. And yes, most of the time this it is white women socialization to ask people to be nice (which isn't wrong, but different, but can be problematic in some contexts--which my white women friends also like to make fun of because they know it so well and are so self-aware, but they also learned how to use it for good, not evil), but understand the context and if it really is helpful to let people walk around with ideas that might harm them later down the road. Which is the greater harmony? That's the difference between kindness and niceness. It is more kind to try to challenge people to self-reflect on their prejudices, than let them walk around with them for the rest of their lives. I did the recently for my cousin's son, too. He got judgy about what other cultures eat, and I worked hard to walk him through it with another family member, and then he came to understand the how and why.

I get your discomfort is why you're asking an entire population to change--I mean Anthropology used to do this sort of thing too. This was their first reaction was to judge, but Anthropology, as a field grew up and realized that demanding that a country change without understanding why things are that way in the first place can do a TON of damage to the communities. This is pretty much the whole history of imperialism. And honestly, most people of color hate imperialism in the first place. (Someone is going to chime in, but, but don't you mean only Asians, no, I mean the majority of the world has been imperialized by Europe and we've been beat up over it. Look up your nearest politics. Name a country outside of Europe, and I'll honestly give you a run down--yes, even Thailand *cough British anyone? Granted a month, but British Museum says a lot….)

The same discomfort that straight people have over queer people demands that queer people act more like straight people. The same discomfort white people have around Black people demands that Black people act more like white people and not talk in their own, very understandable Black English dialects (why else subtitle PoC english speakers?). The same discomfort is the type where people demand that they don't have to see or engage with people who are disabled. It's the same human behavior. And usually, people from the out groups chime in and say, how could that be wrong? Of course they have to bend to us. Of course the wheelchair user has to cope with a 2 foot drop from the curb. Of course we should never have to change our rules on hiring practices for Black people. But the thing is when a group is oppressed for so long, at which point are you punching down? This is what I'm asking. And it's likely you have a difference that's also been picked on and people have also asked you to change it when you couldn't. There is a high likelihood this is a case of this in the majority of the posters. Think about it, and self-reflect for a while-- would you want to bend to such demands when the person hasn't even come to try to understand who you are? And this is how I was taught to stop and think about it in my classes on Anthropology. You, outsider, understand nothing. You are approaching a different time, a different people, but you need to make them human to you first before you can judge them and say they are wrong. It would be like a stranger coming up to you and punching you for wearing a cultural costume. Or that Atlanta shooter for shooting massage parlor people (who to be clear weren't sex workers, though there is nothing wrong with that) shooting Asians because he was angry over covid.

Also, when you're absolutely used to everyone bending to you and your ways, it can be a huge shock to be asked to bend to a totally different way.

To me, asking a country to change, is like trying to grow cacao beans in a desert and then demanding the people live off of that. It simply doesn't work because cacao is tropical. The desert is not. You don't know the conditions that they work under. There have been "rescue" groups that go to Africa (the continent, yes) where they try to force the locals to grow crops that simply don't work, and then the people come there all mighty and ignorant, and then tada~~ a storm blows in or the river floods just like they thought, and those "rescue" organizations have their tails between their legs and then have to start from scratch, learn from the people about what is and isn't working and why and how the system can work better.

So processing your culture shock--100% it takes practice. But it's never, ever OK, to use your discomfort to demand a country should change without understanding how and why the system works like that and how and why your own contexts might also be flawed.

100% I've gone through culture shock and stared at things where I go, this makes absolutely no sense to me. 100%… but what I've been taught through my anthropology classes, is to travel through my discomfort, reflect on if my systems at home are really that much better, and if it's really that dire of a change needed. Am I going to literally die if Japanese chocolate doesn't taste like Belgium chocolate like I'm used to (c'mon, US chocolate is worse than Japanese… most of the time--opinion here)? Or can I reflect on that difference and go, ah, cool, that's why. I may not agree, but I understand. I won't always agree with the difference, but in understanding why, my judgements become less divisive, more cool, and I understand that this system is working (or not quite working) for them.

I really do get that self-reflection makes people feel icky, but if you want to engage with people unlike you, you have to travel through this sort of discomfort. You get better at it as you experience more of it, like anything in life.

Also, this is probably why more Koreans wish I would quit making these comments, because there is always that one person that can't stand culture shock, and think their discomfort is more important than learning.

When I didn't bend to the people of the country, they treated me colder, and I think I would have missed out on a lot of good experiences if I had doubled down on my discomfort. What I want is a bit of that magic that I experienced for you. This is why I write these comments. It's not to get judged as a Korean person trying to extend an olive branch on everything you dislike about Korea. I am not everyone Korean. I am not a symbol. Let people travel through their discomfort--if it makes you feel uncomfortable seeing that they are being asked to travel through it, maybe you also could work on that. Because I promise you something better is on the other side.

Ah, I'd have missed out on the Geta obaasan if I was that uptight. And I swear thinking back onto that moment, makes me still tear up because I could really appreciate her humanity because I learned to let go. I'd trade the entire trip to Japan for that one moment, it was that special.

[theskyexists]

Reading the book. To shape a dragons breath. It is a wonderful and incredibly great power fantasy and it has dragons

And I find it once again funny to see so much Dutch in there. Boekbinder. Henkjan. Etc. I guess on the map the Netherlands is simply part of greater Germany.

Absolutely adore the magic system which is just physics and chemistry and also dragons

And also Marta. Marta is great. A good heart in the mind of a white saviour. But she's getting broken out. Fortunately, she's somebody who has placed herself outside of expectations already - that's her escape, that's how she can learn to see how her racist arrogance is idiotic

I hope. I sincerely hope....unless I've misjudged things...??

Anequs also really is a genius. An absolute genius. But fortunately the book has already pointed this out.

'nackie' is such a perfectly horrible word

Shit. Nooo. Marta. Please. Become better

I want the native American autistic SORT OF vaguely feminist gang.

Thank god Stafn is so racist that he thinks he can get away with everything and isn't sneaky enough

Damn. Living for they dynamic between Kuiper and Anequs already

And I love how kuiper's intentions are good so to speak, she wants to extend chances that she fought for for herself, but Anaqus is SO RIGHT to say: I'm not here to become like you, my people NEED NOT BECOME LIKE YOU

Kuiper is a radical, a feminist and a pioneer. And an ally in many senses. But she's still racist lol

There is a dragon carriage. I guess it makes sense with a school here

I guess the English remained Normans/Vikings in this world

Marta still came along? I guess it was just a fight about the how and she'd already said yes. Very sisterly

How the FUCK does Marta keep introducing total savage poors to her highest social acquaintances without thinking about it lololol

Dagny is absolutely gonna BETRAY marta

Good to know at least fish and chips is in this world. Can't fault the damn anglish for that

HOLD ON

(lol)

I was like: Liberty is the only one described in terms of beauty. Anaqus is instantly attracted to her. But then I was like: nah. The chapter title says she makes a friend. And nothing followed.

But now. She notices the warmth of her hands and the intimacy of being close. Uh-huh.

LIBERTY FEELS THE SAME. Oh what a name. The escaped enslaved name their daughter liberty....

Oh ok. We're just coming out and saying it. Aha. Anaqus is a genius in studies, emotion, morality, politics, language, AND self-knowledge and romance at only 15. This is insane but I love it

Marta is in a way, sweet. But in a way, dumb. Lol. She prefers to ignore social incompatabilities

I love how Marta was angry and upset and upset and disloyal but she cannot help but be impressed with Anaqus and also loyal to her anyway

I love how Marta 's continued response to class differences in her companions is simply INCOMPREHENSION. She knows they're her 'inferiors' but never expects there to be a material reality to that because after all, she associates with them??

I WONDERED if Theod might be a romantic interest to Anaqus as well.

“Are there gentlemen of quality here?” I asked, looking around. “I only see my classmates. Oh, and Sander, of course, but he’s already asked me to dance.”

THE BURNS THIS GIRL MANAGES TO SERVE UP

Poor Liberty has no chance against Theod....

SHE COULD MARRY THEM BOTH??? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

These romances are...so much less bland than most. Still a bit bland. But genuinely built with moments of attraction.

THE DANCING IN A CIRCLE. WHICH RECALLS THE DRAWING OF SKILTACIRCLES

I knew it. I mean I was only two pages early

Brinkerhoff and Kuiper are very hinted to be in a relationship indeed.

God. De-brainwashing Theod is a very painful but worthy endeavour. Come Theod! Come away!

The thing about Theod that's really...quite wonderful, is that they argue, Anaqus is right, Theod thinks, and he apologises and draws closer to her. It is very charming

A lot of myths by different peoples reference a great ice age in different terms. Im not all up on my ice ages but im venturing that this one was more modern than any in our world. Love how these anthropologists got completely roasted but also that they established the congruence. Like that great flood myth in our world. God love that stuff

God it's a lovingly academic and scientific scholarly book

Love the Norse myths turned by a few degrees. Fyra being the mistress of the Valkyries. Winning her fight with Joden! And saving humanity. That in fact calls back to many other real myths...though not the Norse ones.

NO!!! AND NOW I DONT GET ANOTHER ISLAND STORY???

The thing is. Do they really power this stuff with URANIUM??????? No...wait. strahlenstone... It's electricity (tatkraft, daadkracht, deed strength) and the thing stores it... And it lights up and it's bad for your outside lead. It must be irradiated... Idk

Ok that sewing machine scene was the first time I was really really charmed by the Liberty romance.

I knew that the book was going to go into how knecht LITERALLY MEANS BOY SERVANT IN DUTCH

Literally the food, the dancing, the sociality, the talking, the warmth, the ritual.

Theod's story, finding his family again. GOD!!!!!!!!!

You know what's incredible? That I didn't realise until this point (explicitly) that Christianity is simply ABSENT.

Racism radicalising ya anequs

God. I wish Kuiper wasn't so racist.

I KNEW THEY WERE LESBIANS

very brazen...

I do fear that Marta will never crack open her shell further. Because she won't have need to...

So they're developing a combination steam-engine electricity generator???

To replace uranium? Why would you?

This book is always so matter of fact about the genocides i am lulled to certainty and restfulness that Anequs seems to possess but then somebody's dad gets murdered and indigenous people get massacred again

Feel like Kuiper didn't have to go so far as to threaten them with death and genocide on her own fucking account. Racist piece of shit. What a horrible position, that even the closest thing to allies are really your enemies

I actually still don't understand how any Dragonrider could quickly form stilktas...

The jarl seems alright. As alright as a kind of settlers can be eh

JOHAN IS PART OF THIS JARL'S POLITICAL PARTY??? IT SEEMED IMPLIED OTHERWISE???? Ah no. He just answers to him

Useful to the propaganda to have killed the assassin. Let's hope the jarl survives

TAYAYAHSHDODBRKJFJD I LOVE THIS POLYAMOROUS BISEXUAL

I like how the ending wasn't drawn out. It had action. Drama. Confusion. Triumph. Triumph again. Going home.

Ah the author is in fact indigenous American. This book was really good. A great and awesome gentle (?) nuanced but also intense fantasy with lots of stuff that I love about alternate history. I wonder why the Europeans powers are so consolidated in this world... It riffs powerfully on the Norse nazi schtick. It does so much.... it's never boring even if a lot of it is by all accounts maybe slow. But Anequs is the ultimate underdog, and the ultimate person to rise up against injustice it is WONDERFUL. I hope by simply being incredible she continues to educate Kuiper on not being so racist lol

Went back to the pronunciation guide and have to laugh about Henk Jan. Also the only thing I got wrong in my head was the main characters name....stress on the last syllable not the middle ffs

Ok but. One problem. Karina Kuiper is NOT pronounced Kyper. Or...wait is that the closest Americans can get?

[spine-buster]

Structures ft. Jacob Markstrom | Act 1, Scene 3

gif credit @/niallhoranhasthat1thing

CONTENT WARNINGS:

This fic will deal with mental health issues, including (manic) depression, thoughts of self-harm, thoughts of worthlessness, and issues regarding struggles to conceive.

A/N: We are back in the 'modern day' of the fic instead of the past for this chapter. Thanks to all for reading and reblogging with your tags, despite the difficult subject matter. And as always, thank you for your anons about the story! I'm so happy to be answering them along the way.

April 8th, 2019

Dr. Sorenson had worked out of Vancouver General Hospital for fifteen years, and had seen quite a few cases like Geneviève Monette-Markstrom’s. It was a terrible thing, to long for a child that hadn’t come yet, and feeling like you were exhausting your resources to have that child. As Dr. Sorenson looked over Geneviève’s file, she began to learn more about her history. It informed her as to how to move forward.

As she opened the door to her office, she saw whom she presumed to be Geneviève sitting in one of the chairs across from her desk, a very tall, very lanky man sitting beside her holding her hand in his lap. Judging by the file, it was Jacob Markstrom, her husband. She was always happy to see a spouse present, and this was no different. Dr. Sorenson hoped that it meant extra support to have Geneviève get better, and not a denial of the severity of the situation, as she’d seen in other cases.

“Mrs. Monette-Markstrom, Mr. Markstrom, hello,” she greeted pleasantly, shutting the door to her office before extending her hand. Both of them rose politely to greet her, shaking her hand. “Mr. Markstrom, I’m Dr. Hattie Sorenson, and I’ve been overlooking Geneviève’s stay with us here,” she informed him.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” his voice was calm. “Thank you for your help.”

Dr. Sorenson moved to sit at her desk, opening Geneviève’s file in front of her. She decided not to respond to Jacob’s comment because – well, it was her job to help. She didn’t want, nor need, to be thanked for doing her job. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Monette-Markstrom? Much better than three days ago, I hope.”

“You can just call me Geneviève,” she said first, nodding afterwards. “And yes, better than three days ago.”

“Do you still want to hurt yourself?”

“No.”

“Do you still want to hurt yourself because you cannot get pregnant?”

“No.”

“Do you still feel as if that could be a possibility in the future?”

“I don’t work on hypotheticals,” Geneviève responded, feeling Jacob squeeze her hand slightly. “I’m still extremely unhappy that I can’t seem to get pregnant with all the help in the world, if that’s what you’re asking. I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of that unhappiness until I’m pregnant.”

Dr. Sorenson nodded. “Do you still feel like you hurt Jacob when these mental health incidences happen and because you can’t get pregnant with his child?”

A pause from Geneviève – it almost held disdain for the question. “Of course,” she whispered.

“I don’t—” Jacob stuttered out, looking between his wife and Dr. Sorenson. “I don’t—she doesn’t hurt me. I mean, it hurts, but it’s not her fault. Does that make sense?”

Dr. Sorenson nodded again, smiling at Jacob while staying silent, before focusing her attention back on Geneviève. “I’m going to set you up for a psychiatric evaluation, and I’m also going to set you up with a fantastic psychotherapist in the meantime,” she began. “She’s one of the best I’ve known in my fifteen years of experience working out of Vancouver General. Her practice is right in Yaletown.”

“Is she available for video calls?” Jacob asked. “We—we usually go to Sweden in the summers to decompress after the hockey season is over.”

“There’s enough technology these days – I’m sure that can be worked out despite the time difference,” Dr. Sorenson smiled encouragingly. “Alternatively, you can always find a psychotherapist in Sweden. The only concern is, of course, for when you come back to Vancouver, since you spend most of your time here.”

“Right, right. Of course,” Jacob nodded.

“I’m also prescribing anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication,” Dr. Sorenson announced, directly at Geneviève more so than at Jacob. “Now…there are some studies that say anti-depressants affect a woman’s natural fertility, but other studies have shown they have very little to no effect on embryo counts or other factors related to IVF outcomes.”

“I hate how they make me feel,” Geneviève shook her head. “It never felt like they worked. Last time I was on them for maybe a month before I stopped. They did nothing for me.”

“Is it possible you stopped them too early before the effects could really take hold?” Dr. Sorenson posed the question. Geneviève stayed silent. “In the end, they’re for your benefit, Geneviève. It’s your choice whether or not to take them, but they do help. What helped you last time?” she asked.

Geneviève shrugged her shoulders. “I buried myself in my work and in my magazine. Work had to be done. I wrote a lot, published a lot. Focused on Atomic and finding diverse voices to publish.”

“So is it also possible that you never truly recovered, and just buried yourself in work?” Dr. Sorenson posed yet another question. Geneviève was slightly annoyed. “Perhaps you didn’t acknowledge the root of your—”

“I know why it happened last time,” Geneviève interrupted. “Every single one of my friends save for one abandoned me and participated in a smear campaign against me. It’s happening this time because I can’t get pregnant and start the family I want with Jacob. I don’t need antidepressants to tell me that.”

“No you don’t. But the anti-depressants can help your body regulate your levels so that if something like this were to happen again, you won’t want to hurt yourself,” Dr. Sorenson deadpanned. “It won’t lead to you calling your husband in the middle of the night and him walking you through checking yourself into a hospital while he’s in Florida terrified.”

Geneviève knew she was right but it left a bitter taste in her mouth.

***

Geneviève hadn’t seen her home in three days. Jacob had cleaned up slightly since being back in the city – it was clear he swept, had wiped down the kitchen, tidied up their living space – so when Geneviève stepped back in, it was more tranquil and a little less disastrous than how she’d left it. It was a part of her life she loved: whatever space Jacob inhabited became serenely calm to her. In whatever space, in whatever country, wherever he was, she wanted to be.

Jacob was the ideal husband. He’d been the ideal boyfriend – the perfect fit for her, despite everyone around her thinking otherwise – and from the moment they got married, he was the best husband to her. He always encouraged her writing and the projects she was taking on. He didn’t find it demeaning when she wrote about feminism or politics; didn’t mind if she went on speaking tours or made appearances on shows, podcasts, or other media discussing topics just like she had the night they met. He knew she thrived in those types of environments, and he wasn’t going to dull her shine. Similarly, she was always supportive of his hockey career, bragging to anyone who would listen that he was a goalie for the Vancouver Canucks and the Swedish national team. She would always tell everyone – even people she hated because of what happened – how good he was to her, how good he’d always been to her, and how much he was her soulmate. Because he was: Jacob was her soulmate. A man from a town in Sweden who just so happened to walk in to the same pub that she was in the night of her graduation was more her soulmate than the aristocratically titled, embarrassingly rich, emotionally unaware man everyone envisioned her with from her past.

“You want some coffee, sötnos?” Jacob asked.

“Yes please,” she said, watching as Jacob headed to the kitchen. She watched in silence as he moved around, taking two mugs out of a cupboard and preparing the coffee he promised her. She took a seat on their island and noticed that he even watered the bouquet of flowers they usually kept, saving them from death.

And then she noticed the divorce papers.

They were still in the spot she left them, neatly beside the flowers. There was no way Jacob wouldn’t have seen them if he’d watered the flowers and wiped down the kitchen. She reached over to grab them, looking over all the paperwork she’d filled out. She even went so far as to sign everything she needed to sign so that, when he signed them himself (or at least she thought), all she had to do was file them. When she looked back up, Jacob was looking at her. “You had to have seen these,” she said.

“I saw,” he nodded once. “Saw that you even signed them.”

“Three nights ago I was convinced these would be signed by the time I got back here,” she revealed, placing them back down on the counter.

Jacob looked pained. “Tell me the truth,” he began. “Do you want to divorce me?”

“No,” Geneviève answered instantly. “I love you more than anything. Like I said on the phone, I just wanted you to be free from me.”

Jacob shook his head, reaching over and grabbing them in his hands. He made sure he was looking Geneviève in the eye as he tore them up, halved and then halved and then halved again, before opening the garbage and chucking it into the recycling bin. “Never.”

Geneviève felt tears forming in her eyes as she saw Jacob rip up the divorce papers. “I’m so sorry, Jacob,” she mumbled out, the tears finally spilling out. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

Jacob made his way around the island quickly, bending down slightly so he could be at eye level with her as he cupped her face in his hands. “Listen to me,” he whispered urgently. “We’re going to get through this together, okay? Just like last time. Because I love you more than anything too, and I’m your husband, and I’m here for you, alright?”

Geneviève was nodding and crying, nodding and crying, but when Jacob leaned in and kissed her, she felt a serene peace take over her body. “I’m going to get better,” she mumbled against his lips.

“I know you will.”

“I’ll even start praying again if it means I get pregnant—”

“Shhhh…” Jacob kissed her again. “Don’t put pressure on yourself. It will happen when it will happen. You need to focus on getting better. And in a few weeks when we leave for Sweden – G, that’ll be so good for you. You love Sweden.”

“You’re right, I do,” she brought her hands up to caress his face.

Jacob hesitated, knowing Geneviève wouldn’t like what he had to say next – but he knew it needed to be said, that he needed to get the idea out there. She loved her work, but he knew that if this was really going to work, what he was going to suggest needed to happen. “G, you should let Margaret take over Atomic this summer so you can focus on getting better.”

Geneviève looked taken aback – actually taken aback at the suggestion. “Jacob, that can’t happen.”

“But G—”

“—I can’t just abandon my magazine, Jacob. I built it from the ground up—”

“—G, Margaret can take over for a few months, she’s more than capable—”

“—But Jacob—”

“If you’re serious about getting better, you know it has to be done,” he said. “It’s like Dr. Sorenson said. You buried yourself in your work last time and you never truly recovered. You just paid attention to somewhere else.”

Geneviève was silent. Again, she knew he was right, but she didn’t want to admit it, and she didn’t want to give up the power at Atomic, even if it was only for a few months to the only other person she trusted as much as she trusted Jacob – the one person from her past who did not betray her – her best friend, Margaret. But Atomic was her making, her doing. She had truly built it from the ground up, after the amazing success of her first published book of essays You Have No Self-Doubt. It was even the mantra of the magazine – the message she wanted to get across for women in everything the magazine published.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do it for you,” she finally said. She knew she had to do it.

“Don’t do it for me,” Jacob said. “Do it for you.”

[ahsokasanity]

Chapter Eight

A Court of Shadow and Ribbons Missed any Chapters? Go to the pinned post

Notes:

– With credit to song words (only slightly messed with) Melissa Etheridge “Do It Again”

Nessian mating ceremony.

Idisi comes from Nordic mythology around the Valkyries – ours didn’t want to be a replica of the original female warriors, but something new and their own.

Apologies if you’re fitting this in during lunch break (@TrashForAzriel !) It’s a bit longer than normal

Nesta was not nervous on the day. She was already so entwined emotionally with Cassian that it actually seemed a natural progression to confess it in front of a few important friends and family. Some of the training group would be at the service, some could not make the step from the House of Wind to Velaris proper. They had tentatively begun to call themselves Idisi – the name itself made them more a part of the Valkyrie mythology, Nesta grinned to herself as she remembered Gwyn coming to them with the idea “Well, we can’t just keep calling ourselves the training group or Cassian’s defenders.” Although Nesta quite liked the second.

Nesta had stayed at The River House overnight and Cassian, Azriel and Rhys were to fly as many from the library as they could. Mor was going to Windhaven to collect Emerie who would stay the night in Velaris. All of them might end up out on the town. Nesta was wishing for, and dreading that night as the first she would take as Cassian’s mate and the first time she would return to the nightclubs and drinking bars that she had frequented before her recovery. With Cassian by her side, she knew it would be a fun night. The House of Wind had been entitled to them and tonight she would host her friends. The House had promised to care for them all if Nesta was occupied once they got home.

Gwyn had agreed to sing but she was nervous about leaving the library. The last time she did was to support Nesta and they had ended up abducted. She knew the circumstances were entirely different and the River House was so very safe, but it did not stop the butterflies swarming in her gut or the slight vibrato when she did try to speak at breakfast. She’d put on her best prayers robe. It was a pale blue and pleated around the neck to be fastened at the waist with a gold thin rope. He feet were shod in thick leather slippers that would protect her while travelling and walking in the garden.

There were just five of them to attend from the priestesses and being that Azriel and Rhys could winnow, they took Margot, Lorelei, Deirdre and Roslin. Cassian was grinning at Gwyn. “I think that the first Idisi to cut the ribbon with her sword should have no problem getting a ride to MY mating ceremony with her best friend’s mate?”

Gwyn laughed a nervous laugh and pursed her lips. “No, you wouldn’t think so would you” She stepped toward him and stood at his side, offering her arm for him to take. Cassian wrapped one arm around her waist and took her forearm with his other hand. “I’ll hold you and I promise I will not let you fall���

She nodded but closed her eyes. The hand around her hip was firm not punishing and his other hand was gentle on her arm. She told herself over and over. It’s OK, this is Cassian, it’s OK”

“No harm will come to you” Cassian had sensed her thoughts and she tried to look up at him, to give permission for this flight. He grinned down at her

“Don’t have too much fun will you” and launched off the training area into the bright summer sky. Gwyn screeched, not in a scared way she surprised herself, but with exhilaration. Cassian merely flapped harder to get into the slip stream heading up the face of the cliff from the city. As they got into that rising warm air he extended his wings to their widest (Gwyn remembered something that Nesta had told her that night in the library of the House of Wind, about Illyrians wing spans), but she shut down that thought as they began spiralling down, down, so smooth, so free.

The feeling was immense. She had shut herself out of this world for years now and could suddenly see what she might be missing. Yes, High Fae, Illyrians and half breeds like her, could all be cruel to each other. There was also this, flying (she was flying for the Mother’s sake) and heading to a celebration of love of togetherness and she loved her friends. She felt wonderful and alive and impatient to enjoy more.

The garden and lawn of the River House (it should be called the River Palace she thought), looked picture perfect today. Elain had worked hard on getting the flowers to bloom, in the right colour order to suit where Nesta would stand. Rhys had spared no expense in the set up of a pavilion and chairs, with a spread of food for all, once Cassian and Nesta had officially Mated.

Cassian could sense her excitement and a change in her scent from flat out petrified to wonder and a happy nervousness. One more thing that he could do to make her comfortable was to set her down where Mor and Emerie were talking at the outskirts of the party.

“Thank you Cassian” Gwyn stood on her tip toes to peck him on the cheek. “I did not know that it would be like that, so free. I can’t really explain it”

Cassian merely shrugged and replied “You don’t have to. I am glad that you are here, and that Nesta doesn’t have to attempt murder because I scared her friend!” He winked and headed off to Rhys and Azriel who were clucking over baby Nyx.

“Gwynie, oh wow, you are so lucky. How was the flight? It looked so glorious today and you took the slow way down. Oh, I am so jealous” Emerie was at her side and Mor a step behind.

“It’s nice to see you Gwyn” Mor intoned. There was more to that statement than your average greeting. It’s nice to see Gwyn in Velaris, it’s nice to see Gwyn outside the protection of the library. The first time that Mor had met Gwyn, she had just been repeatedly raped and her world was imploding. Mor here, in the sun on this grassy expanse of the river flat was a beautiful sight. Her words were a balm and Gwyn just nodded.

“It is so nice to see you again” she replied, again meaning a lot more than pure greeting.

Emerie took Gwyn’s arm but steered her close to Mor as they seemed to be in the middle of something “Just stay here until you have to sing will you Gwyn?” her friend insisted “I’ll get you a drink and we can applaud from here!”

Mor laughed at that and the two of them returned to talk of fabrics and colours and what Emerie sold in her shop and what Mor wanted to show her from Vallahan that was “like a second skin that shows every curve and highlights every asset” Whatever that meant. Emerie was immersed in the conversation and brought Gwyn in on it every now and then to suggest a colour for her or to ask her opinion. Gwyn was happily edging the topics as she was having more fun watching the others, Cassian being teased by his “brothers”, Feyre taking Nyx away from them before Rhys threw the boy high enough he’d have to learn to fly to get back, and Elain talking with some others whom Gwyn did not recognise. An auburn haired Fae with a mechanical eye. One of the sons of the Autumn Court by the looks. She remembered that Nesta did not like him much but that Feyre and he were on good terms. Elain seemed very quiet. Gwyn understood her shyness.

Emerie whispered to Gwyn “The red headed male is Lucien, Elain’s mate” she just nodded her head and looked their way. There was no explanation necessary, the relationship apparent. That mating was not the happy affair that Nesta and Cassian were celebrating. Elain looked a little more alive when Azriel joined their group, but Az stayed by Lucien’s side and spoke politely to all before moving to seat people around the central point of the yard, an altar and a table.

Gwyn was not at all present, she realised. The small tension of singing while Cassian and Nesta would be preparing and eating food together had been overtaken by the large stressor of being surrounded by people that she did not know. She found a place backing on to a heavily thorned rose bush bursting with red flowers. She felt better having her back protected. Little tremors shot up her spine and across her skin every few minutes and she held one hand in the other so that she could hold herself still. Deep breathing was the only thought that she had, her singing voice would not appreciate having no wind. Emerie touched her arm every now and then, but she was engrossed in the service and in leaning in to Mor’s side to whisper comments.

Gwyn found Emerie leading her toward the centre of the gathering and realised that she had better be ready to perform. A few strong breaths down into her stomach and she found her place, Nesta smiled through some tears as she moved aside to the table with food, Cassian so pleased, the look on his face many of them had never seen before.

Gwyn tried to look over the small crowd, but her gaze snagged on the darkness in one corner. Azriel. He gave her an encouraging nod and she was able to start

The song had originally been a nightclub hit, Nesta had played it for her on the Synphonia. Gwyn had tweaked it a little bit to be more soulful. More like a prayer.

Walked your fire I got a little bit burnt

Hold on tight cause I, I never did learn

You were the one they tried to warn me about

I jumped into your ocean knowing I could never get out

Oh darling it hurts, hurts to be in love

Oh darling it hurts but I do it just because

I walk straight through your mountain

Crawl right under your sea

And if you do not know it by now

You're the only one who does this to me

But I’d do it again

Yes I'd do it again

Even when I'm tired and my feelings are hurt

Never lost desire only made things worse

I hope I'm holding out for something good

Cause we're that combination yeah we're the kind that could

Oh darling it hurts, hurts to be in love

Oh darling it hurts but I do it just because

I walk straight through your mountain

Crawl right under your sea

And if you don't know, know it by now

You're the only one who does this to me

But I'd do it again

She looked up to see Cassian kissing Nesta passionately and smiled to herself. Only to become more self aware as people started to approach her with congratulations and it was hell.

Emerie was making her way to help, with Mor at her side, but Azriel and his shadows dispersed the few gushing admirers with excuses and subtle manoeuvring to suddenly be next to her. He lightly took her arm and guided her into the house and to the summer parlour by the kitchen. He sat her down on the nearest armchair and stepped back toward the door. “Wait Azriel, please” She was surprised to hear her own voice in such a clear request.

Azriel simply turned and stopped. He did not want to be closer to this woman than he already was. She was so beautiful and her singing always seemed to open a door to his emotions. He could not hear her without remembering old forgotten feelings of being held by his mother, of being full, not the furtive being that he had become. It was undoing his resolve, his very footing on the earth.

Gwyn composed herself and looked straight at Az. “Thank you for helping me out of that situation. I didn’t want to be with so many people, but I don’t want to be alone either.”

It took three steps for Azriel to be seated next to her and looking around the room, not at her. He looked at her all of the time. He couldn’t do it now. His chest was thundering. Do not ruin this Az, he thought savagely. This woman has been through hell. Do not overstep

“I have to tell you something Gwyn” he knew once he started he would have to finish this. “I have noticed you wearing a chain at training…”

“Oh well, it’s OK if I shouldn’t wear it, it’s nothing much”

Az swallowed his next words and re-thought where he was going with this. “Really, it’s nothing much?”

Gwyn blushed a little. “Well, I do really like it but it was an anonymous gift and I probably will never know who gave it to me, it shouldn’t be important to me”

Azriel decided then to struggle on. This could not stand. “It was me”

The room was silent. Gwyn’s face went through about fifteen expressions while he watched and waited. She looked sad then like she would yell at him, then pensive, finally she looked at him and spoke. “Why?”

“You are not going to like this, but I am going to tell you the absolute truth. That is all I can promise you” Azriel got out of the chair and started to walk this way and that about the room.

“I bought the jewel and the chain for Elain before Winter Solstice, I know that sounds bad, but please listen” Gwyn was discomforted but not scared. Azriel having feelings for her would be more scary.

“Rhys made me understand that any relationship outside of her being a sister to me was off the table. So Elain and I talked and she is my sister now. She will be making changes and I will support her decisions, but we will not be together”

Gwyn was struck dumb as to how she would feature in this story. How she became a part of this story.

Azriel could tell he was losing her. “After that night when you were training in the dark” She did smile at that “I wanted to give you something that was just appreciative of you”

“Do you think that Elain will see this and be upset?” Gwyn took the rose out of her top and it caught the sun. Azriel held himself together at the sight of Gwyn seated before him, rose between the thumb and forefinger and an absolute innocent look on her face.

“I, well, I hadn’t thought of that” he shifted to the far wall of the room and looked out over the gathering and smiled at his brother being fed bread by Nesta and laughing with less worry than he had even seen. He didn’t notice Gwyn had got up from her chair and approached him. When he turned back to her she was under his nose and he stepped back hurriedly

She had never felt threatened by Azriel, never nervous in his presence, but his closeness, his casual demeanour. He was not her trainer today. She held out the chain with the rose dangling and handed it to him.

“I think that it was a lovely gesture Azriel”, she liked the sound of his name and wanted to say it more, to moan it. “But, I think that you should take it back. Keep it until you can tell Elain that you found someone that you really want to see wearing it forever.” Azriel held out his hand and accepted the chain, quickly pocketing it with shame written across his downturned face at her words.

“Thank you, for thinking of Elain Gwyn. Five hundred years is not enough time apparently to turn me into a thoughtful male”

Gwyn could not bear the tone of his voice or the hunch of his shoulders. This was not Azriel on the back foot, this was him retreating. She knew the feeling. The self-loathing, the depression. It was not something that she wanted for him.

“Don’t say that. Don’t think that you are not every bit as noble as the best males in Velaris. You are thoughtful and you are kind. Think of all of our friends, our Idisi who are starting to feel, whole again.” She touched his cheek with a shaking hand “Think of me Azriel. I would be dead, and without the training I would be close enough to dead that there is little difference”

His eyes found hers but she stepped back away from him, hand still in the air between them.

“Azriel, would you walk with me in the garden?” She raised her elbow for him to take it, prayed that he would take it. He hesitated only a moment before sliding his arm through hers and they left the parlour then the house.

The party was getting properly started now, Cassian and Nesta had left, but that was no big deal, they would resurface later in the evening and it was the guest’s responsibility to eat, drink and enjoy themselves. It was being accomplished. Mor and Emerie were talking, heads close together by the edge of the crowd. Gwyn saw Elain speaking with Lucien in the company of Feyre and Nyx. That baby certainly garnered attention. Some of the priestess’ saw Gwyn with Azriel and waved them over.

They spoke for a little while, but the overall impression was that they were generally ready to leave. Lorelei and Deirdre had enjoyed perhaps a smidge too much strawberry wine and were giggly enough for the others to worry about their choices over the next few hours. The others had felt pleased and proud to be at the ceremony, but the ongoing music, drinking and laughing was not what they wanted for their first trip out from the library in an age. Azriel went to speak to Rhys, leaving Gwyn with the others with a smile and a nod that he would arrange transport for them.

Emerie found them and spoke to Gwyn “I think I’m going to stay here”, she nodded to Mor. “She has invited me to go out to Velaris to a night Club! I think I’m going to like it. Mor said she’d take me to the House of Wind to the guest suite whenever I wanted to leave.” Emerie’s cheek flushed as she said “I can’t believe she’s here talking to me,…. I really like her” the last quietly and aimed only for Gwyn

“That’s great Em, you seem comfortable today, you look; yourself” Gwyn had noticed the calm stance and the open face while Emerie talked with Mor. She was really at home here.

“I feel amazing Gwynie, not like anything I’ve ever felt before. Free and happy and maybe,…excited” She hugged Gwyn. “Do you want me to ask Mor to winnow you home?, you look tired. Oh, where’s your chain?”

Gwyn looked slightly unsettled “Can I tell you about that later? , it’s alright though” She smiled to show Emerie that she was really fine with the loss and added “Would it be silly of me to ask, could I suggest that Mor help with Deirdre and Lorelei and the others? I’d like to speak to Azriel”

Emerie noted the confidence in Gwyn’s request and the lift of her head. She was sure about this.

“OK, sure. I’ll see what I can do” Emerie squeezed Gwyn’s hand then turned to Mor who was speaking with Lucien now.

Gwyn focused on the rose bushes and wandered around the edge of the revellers. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to Azriel about, but she couldn’t leave him tonight without another word. She wanted to make sure that he was good. That he knew she was a friend. She was happy with her decision to give up the necklace. Even though the thought that it had been from Azriel was thrilling and scary all at once. She had now made a plan that he would find in the future, a need to gift it back to her with emotions attached. She didn’t know why that thought had occurred to her. It was something she could not have imagined before today.

Azriel approached her as if summoned. He was looking down and around, anywhere but her face, so she lifted her hand for him to take and stared him down. “I wanted to ask you, if you wouldn’t mind, could you please fly me home?

Azriel’s shock at the request was covered quickly. What he did know was that Gwyn was asking for physical contact with him. Winnowing only required the slightest touch. A hand or an arm. Flying on the other hand would be body contact on a larger scale. This was her choice. He nodded his head, lost for useful words. He didn’t want to sound like a clumsy novice male. He merely stretched an arm out for her to step into his side.

Gwyn turned to Emerie and Mor who were organising the other Idisi and gave them a smile. Emerie grinned in return and Azriel wrapped her in an embrace that was solid and calming yet her blood pounded and her eyes blinked. She couldn’t remember feeling so safe.

His wings spread and flapped and Azriel bent his knees and sprung into the breeze of the evening. Gwyn found herself tightening her grip around his neck and bringing her face closer to his

“You’re safe” is all he said

Gwyn simply replied “I know”

The trip down with Cassian had been exhilarating and freeing, the flying back required going across Velaris, coming to life with street lights and coloured flashes from the restaurants and dance rooms opening for the night. Gwyn got the feeling that she was missing a lot so she turned her head and took in the marvel of the city, the lights and the sun setting across the ocean. “Oh my goodness, Azriel, it is so beautiful” Azriel smiled and nodded, but he too looked properly at that view re-appreciating what he always knew was there. Trying to see it as Gwyn saw it for the first time brought a wonder to his heart that he had forgotten.

Gwyn looked at his face, and he caught her eyes. It was a charged moment. Azriel composed himself first and looked out to the sea and the river. With his free hand he began to point out landmarks and favourite haunts. From the Rainbow where Feyre went to paint and to teach, to the townhouse in the residential area and of course the sparkling flashing lights of Rita’s – their most frequented nightclub. “I guess I’ll be finding Mor and Emerie and probably the others there later” he smiled to think of what he knew of Mor now and the simmering looks that she and Emerie had been sharing during the ceremony. Only happiness filled him at the thought.

Gwyn was getting comfortable and moved a little in his arms. She squealed as she felt herself slip, but Azriel simply held her tighter and put his other arm under her legs, carrying her through the air like a princess. She surrendered, just for now she told herself, to the warmth and the stillness here in his chest.

Azriel relaxed into the embrace and flew steadily ignoring the thundering of his heart and the closeness of her lithe warrior’s body. The distance was covered all too soon and he stepped onto the roof of the house, jogging a few steps toward the double doors before coming to a halt. He placed her on the ground feet first, before facing her with his arm still around her middle. Gwyn stepped away first and walked backwards toward the entrance. She smiled at him

“Thank you Azriel” She looked down as if remembering where that jewel had rested until this afternoon. “I did really love that chain” She winked, as she had to him once before. This was not a student teacher interaction, this was a suggestion, a question to his searching. He took a step toward her and she held up a hand

“See you at training” and she turned, with every fibre of her being she kept walking toward the library. Willing him to watch her, to make a plan for the future to stop her from walking away. But not today. She was tired, she was wrung out and she did not trust herself to spend any more time with this male. He had opened too many doors within her to be careful of her wellbeing. She needed more time.

Azriel was old. He had bedded women across continents and had held a candle for Mor since he could remember wanting. Gwyn had him questioning any reaction that came to mind. Instead of those he just whispered “You will” He meant more than training tomorrow. He fully intended to show her what a thoughtful, evolved Illyrian male could evoke in a woman. She would not have a straw of fear left for him by the time she came to him ready to accept the necklace as truly hers.

                                                                       *

[transcendentcacophony]

Thoughts on Worldbuilding: Storytelling with Geography: Lunar Lakes

So I've been thinking about worldbuilding for awhile, and one of the things that I like about certain worlds is that they tell a story with their geography. I think Lunar Lakes is one of these worlds.

Image: An overview of Lunar Lakes from Sims 3

All Lunar Lake images will be from here

This is going to draw from James C. Scott's The Art of Not Being Governed and the concept of Zomia

So one of the central concepts behind Zomia and The Art is the idea that not everybody wants to be a part of centralized governments or nation-states.

Traditionally, most academic fields have held that as societies centralize around agricultural centers that evolve into urban centers, they draw everybody to them through some kind of unexplained magnetism as they gradually expand. It's usually held that this is because the centralizing power of agriculture allows for population booms not supported by hunting-and-gathering. At least one philosopher <cough> Daniel Quinn <cough>1 this is a result of these populations controlling access to food. Not just surpluses of food, but access to food at all, forcing those within their borders to join the system or die.

This idea that agricultural societies are somehow fundamentally better. We see this reflected in different cultural evolution models (all of which are horribly racist but still manage to hang on in weird places, particularly developmental models). As such, the shift from hunting-and-gathering to sedentary agriculture tends to be heralded as a good thing in most history text books and is pretty much always seen as a step towards "modernization.2" But what if you don't want that? What if you have zero interest in joining the agricultural community and implied state control?3 What options do you have then?

You, then, may be interested in Zomia or one of the other extra-territorial spaces that function similarly.

Image: A village in the mountains

So what is Zomia? Zomia encompasses a large territory that ranges across Southeast Asia up into Tibet. Its primary defining feature is its rugged terrain and various populations that have no interest in different state-sponsored "civilizing" projects. While different agricultural centers expand outward to fill the lowland regions seeking to bully those they encounter along the way into joining, various people along the way say "f*ck it" and go up into the mountains. Why? Because the rugged terrain makes it harder for their valley-based neighbors to control them while providing plenty of hiding places push back against their expansion.

Image: A map of the Zomia area highlighting the Southeast Asian and Himalayan Massifs, areas encompassing the geography of Zomia itself.

Agriculture tends to lock people into place and makes them easier to control, therefore nation-states interested in keeping track of large populations have a vested interest in convincing people to farm. Buggering off into the mountains offsets this. Agriculture isn't necessarily harder in these mountainous areas4, but you do have different crops as a result of altitudinal zonation and a fair amount of people choose to engage in animal husbandry instead because the high altitudes impact calorie consumption as your body spends more energy keeping you warm.

This impacts cultures in these regions as well. People may choose to define themselves in opposition to the lowland culture they are avoiding. They may hybridize with cultures already in the mountains, create new languages, or define themselves by the fact they are there for political or semi-political reasons and expressly avoiding the control of an outside party, even if that outside party is the nation-state they are legally considered a part of. There is also a tendency of these cultures to discard literacy for orality, in part because orality is easier to carry around and in part because it marks them as Other compared to their lowland counterparts. It also gives you a since of control over your culture itself, as orality can't be shared unless you want it to whereas almost anyone can learn a writing system and open a book.

So what's this got to do with Lunar Lakes? Let's look at LL more closely, shall we?

Image: The downtown region from Lunar Lakes

The most densely developed part of Lunar Lakes is easily this "downtown" district in the lowlands region. This area contains most of the community lots for the world, and, most tellingly, City Hall and the Perigee, which we're told in the original blurb brought the (human) sims to Lunar Lakes to begin with.

Image: The Rim

There is a little bleed over of rabbitholes from the city center onto the Rim, a slightly elevated area just above it, but these are no where near as "mountainous" as the craters we'll get to in a minute.

Image: The Canals

Another defining feature of the lowland central area are these canals. As these canals do not extend to a beach or other waterway, they can't be for trade, thereby lending themselves to the idea that they are intended for agricultural uses. They could, of course, predate the colony, but that doesn't change the intent.

Image: The Crystal Mine, the Outpost, and the Depot

On the backside of the craters, we have the Crystal Mine, the Outpost, and the Depot. We're told in the original backstory blurb for the world on the Store page that the residents had to harness the crystals to to make their colony sustainable, but it feels abandoned now. Given the importance of the mine in the early days of the colony, it makes sense they'd have a transport depot here for the workers and an outpost, possibly for the military, to protect it, especially if the world was inhabited and the indigenous people wanted nothing to do with them or actively apposed them.

Image: The Craters from Lunar Lakes

Which brings us finally to the craters themselves. Here's where Zomia comes in. If Lunar Lakes was inhabited and if the native population had no interest in joining the colonists or being exploited by them, where would they go? The craters, of course! This would also hold true for anyone who didn't want to fall in line with the colonial leadership among the human sims themselves. We know the Louie family, for example, had to move to the craters after they were exiled by Patricia Cross, the current colonial leader. It therefore stands to reason that, even if the people who live here are colonists, this is where they are expected to go if they are exiled or want to get away from the political milieu of the central powers in the downtown district.

Image: Suburban Subspace lot from Lunar Lakes

And, of course, architecturally, this is where we got those distinctive mushroom houses, which again, suggests an alternative development of this region compared to the lowlands even if the people here are exiled colonists, deviants, etc.

Regardless, we end up with a setting that is rife for internal worldbuilding and storytelling based on its geography. If you add an alien population seeking to escape SimEarth colonization by fleeing to the craters, it establishes a political backdrop for stories, making the world feel more lived in and providing a ready-made backstory. This is one of the things I think is drastically missing in the Sims 4 with their itty-bitty neighborhoods and lack of connecting spaces.

Anyways, these are the things I think about when worldbuilding myself. What story does my world tell geographically? Does it have a built in backstory represented by its geography? Are the different regions/neighborhoods connected in a way that makes cohesive sense? Are their other worlds you think do a good job of storytelling with their designs?

If you build worlds, do you take into account the storytelling potential of your geography? Why or why not? If you play in worlds like Lunar Lakes, does the geography inform your storytelling? Does it help build a metadiscourse around your game? Are there other worlds that inspire your gameplay with their layouts?

Edited in response to @nornities excellent feedback.

1) This is not meant as an endorsement of all of Quinn's arguments; he's got a weird overpopulation theory built into his writing that's a little too close to Malthusian for my liking, but I'm not one to throw out the baby with the bathwater, as it were.

2) Ever notice how "modernization" and "development" are always fundamentally anchored in how Europe moved from feudalism to imperialism to democracy etc.? Yeah, that's the remnants of that "cultural evolution" model I'm talking about. "You're not successful until you look like us!" "Take these developmental loans from the World Bank or the IMF! We promise the strings attached are for your benefit too!" "What do you mean you want to skip industrialization and natural resource extraction and invest in your environment, happiness, and long-term sustainability? You'll never be like us that way! You're a failed state! Ignore the coup in the background we swear we had nothing to do with!"

3) This is the section that was edited after @nornities pointed out that it could be read to imply that non-agricultural societies don't have taxes, class warfare, epidemics, subjugation, slavery, conscription, etc. That was not the intention, although it is clearly stated in Scott's original work that he considers these and other negative societal effects to be the direct result of such "civilizing projects." It was not my intent to perpetuate that idea as these things do happen in non-agricultural societies, so I have changed the original wording. Thank you, @nornities

4) I also forgot to mention the clear exception to this: the Incan Empire. Unlike most empire models, the Inca engaged in a top-down society (literally) that was based in the mountains and expanded downward and outward over time. They were predated by two earlier Andean civilizations.

[deathbydarkelves]

I decided to make playlists for Cathala and Tarinne plus explanations for why I chose each song because I entered one of those ADHD fugue states and if I didn't finish this task I would die

Anyway here are the two links (they're youtube playlists because I don't have spotify. I would obviously recommend using an adblocker if you're just gonna watch on youtube) and the explanations for each song are below the cut :) Each playlist is about an hour long.

For Tarinne’s:

1. Foggy Nights: I consider this her theme so putting it first as a sort of intro only makes sense.

2. Here’s a Health to the Company: I think this works as an example of her general disposition. She’s a people person, and always a fan of singing these sorts of songs in taverns, on ships, or what have you. It also kind of feels like a sendoff to soldiers, which I imagine symbolizes her joining the Sentinel Army and quickly thereafter fighting in the Third War.

3. Wartime Prayers: Somewhat self-explanatory, this is symbolizing her seeing war for the first time, but I also included it because the last line transitions SO WELL into the next song.

4. The Hollow: This song is an intro to an album I've never heard so I don't know the context, but I really love it because it sounds like someone praying to their deity and like I mean c'mon. Elune. Tarinne's praying to Elune to guide her through the war. Do I need to elabo-

5. Wave Walker: KILL DEATH MAIM AHAHAHAHA

6. Isil Elun’falo: Just a super rad fan-made night elf song that's basically "wow we sure do love Elune" said in twenty different ways for four and a half minutes. But it ROCKS and I LOVE it.

7. Chewing Cotton Wool: This song is about losing a loved one (I did have to check but yeah that's what it is) and I use it to symbolize Tarinne losing her mom during the war. The last line, which includes the song's title, I especially like. It's referring to how morticians (apparently) put cotton gauze in a corpse's throat and mouth to keep body fluids in and make the face look more natural. So there's a fun fact for you.

8. See U Soon (Song for Dad): Just a short lofi piece to rest a bit, and it was also chosen because the title's in reference to Tarinne growing closer to her dad after losing her mom. She still visits him at his leathers and furs shop in Stormwind fairly often, especially after dangerous adventures. She just wants to make sure he knows she's alright ;-;

9. No Lullaby: Right back into it with a song that I use to represent Tarinne's general feeling of not being able to go home because it's not there anymore. She's felt like this since the end of the Third War, but it's especially strong since the whole Teldrassil thing. But I like the ending, "who said you're on your own," because it contrasts the repeating of "alone" in the rest of the song. And it's kinda like "hey, listen, you're not the only one who feels like she can't go home." I mean that's probably how basically every single night elf feels right now skxnks

10. The Moss: This song juxtaposes classic fairy tales with scientific facts about the world and I love it to BITS. I'm using it here to represent both Tarinne's love for storytelling but also her sort of... part-time historian/archaeologist/conservator career.

11. Rasputin: I just associate this song with her for some reason and this was the best place to put it.

12. Electric Feel: Moving on to focus more on Tarinne's relationship with Cathala now. This is an extremely great and somewhat 😏 song that I also included because the electricity theme is appropriate because Cathala has lightning powers and y'know it's from Tarinne's perspective or whatever.

13. Bedroom Hymns: You know why this is here.

14. Movement: I can't talk about love songs without talking about Hozier, okay. This is just a nice, slower song to relax a bit with.

15. Never Let Me Go: I have an entire goddamn music video in my head with Cathala and Tarinne for this song and it’s very dramatic and emotional and I had to include this song or I’d die. Basically just listen to near the end of this song when she's repeating the title over and over, and imagine the two of them seeing each other at opposite ends of a battlefield after the dust settles and they rush towards each other and fall to their knees holding on as tightly as they can because they got separated early on and each thought the other was dead. Then you'll know how I feel when I listen to this song.

16. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control: First of all I love the title, and second of all there's a big section in the middle (1:49 to 2:47) that I like to interpret as the two of them grappling with the fact that they're not really quite sure who or what they're fighting for anymore. Their people, yeah, but there's so many alliances and semi-permanent enemies and only-on-every-other-thursday-enemies all intertwined and the world is just so very confusing and they're trying to make the best of it. Elf school didn’t include international, interracial politics in its curriculum. It did however include how to properly plant trees, and AP calculus (this is a joke).

17. In Dreams: I like to imagine this song is something the two of them would say to each other, as a way of saying “even when everything we know is gone, even when the world ends, I will still be by your side. And if I’m not, don’t fear, for I will find you.” It makes a nice note to end on :)

For Cathala’s:

1. muse: Just a nice lofi intro to get us into things :) I don't see this song as her theme, like I do with Tarinne and the first song in her playlist, but I like it quite a bit. I don't actually really have a theme for Cathala yet, I'm currently going with a version of Way of the Monk from WoW's OST but I'm still looking for something better.

2. Frogs Singing: I included this because it's about just appreciating nature, which works because night elf and also mindfulness and meditation is a whole thing.

3. Tongues: This is a song about feeling distant from your peers which is like Cathala's whole existence! She's this weird mix of two cultures and ultimately she feels out of place regardless of where she is or who she's with. Also the theme with not understanding what people are saying works because the poor woman had to learn Pandaren from scratch and that shit ain't easy. I think blizz said somewhere probably that Common is just a language that EVERYONE knows inherently because Video Game but that's bullshit in my opinion. I'll allow spells that let you understand foreign languages to an extent (Comprehend Languages from D&D lets you understand the LITERAL meaning only, which I like), but every culture and species in the universe knowing Common is silly if you think about it for more than two seconds.

4. Kung Fu Fighting: I'm legally required to include this song. Also I prefer the Kung Fu Panda version, I'm sorry.

5. Harder Better Faster Stronger: I vicariously experience having a great work ethic through Cathala and that's why this song is here because she has 999 Determination and does Too Many push-ups every day or something idk. I was gonna say "every morning" but I have a headcanon that elves only need to sleep every couple of days (sort of a nod to "elves don't need to sleep at all" from D&D, and to explain why NIGHT elves are active at all hours of the day) so that doesn't work.

6. What's Up Danger: This song is Cathala's whole Vibe. Almost zero threat assessment skills in this woman's brain. If it can be punched, she will punch it.

7. Eye for an Eye: Fairly self-explanatory, it's a song about wanting revenge so... yeah. Checked that box. It was this or The Vengeful One by Disturbed but ultimately The Vengeful One's religious symbolism probably makes it fit better as a Tyrande theme lol ("I'm the hand of god, I'm the dark messiah." Did you mean: the Night Warrior)

8. Survivor: Cathala's survived a lot of shit and this could kinda be her making fun of herself for it because "Gods, man! Don't I deserve a break!"

9. Ashes: Really the reason I include this song is the last chunk (2:42 to the end) because holy shit. Listen, if I was gonna include a song with fire motifs, it was gonna be a somber one like this.

10. Into the West: This can kinda represent Cathala just trying to fucking breathe and recover from Teldrassil. Also works because I dunno it has stuff to do with the elves in LotR, I haven't seen those movies in a while. It sounds nice and is melancholy so I included it.

11. Like Real People Do: Cathala loves Tarinne a lot you guys have I ever menti-

12. Into the Wild: Tarinne changed Cathala's world for the better and she's super fucking grateful she has her by her side. Kinda goes without saying but you know.

13. Chasing the Moon: I have a vague music video in my head for this of them falling in love and it's very cute so there's that. Also it's in this specific spot because hey she may be deeply traumatized but she's still got a fair number of things/people in her life that make her happy so :)

14. Follow My Girl: I've got a theme going in my head that while Tarinne is fairly certain of her place in the world, Cathala is still trying to find hers. She outlived all her connections on Pandaria because Elf Lifespans(tm) and the only members of her family still alive are distant relatives she never knew very well.

15. Wish That You Were Here: This works both to represent Cathala on Pandaria feeling super homesick, and for more recently after Teldrassil. Either way, it's a message to her parents and sister.

16. Mr. Fear: She does her damnedest to hide it but she's absolutely terrified something like Teldrassil's gonna happen again! That fear drives her to do everything in her power to protect who and what she can. As long as they're not Forsaken, cause she's still got her biases, that compassion even extends across faction lines. She never really got the whole Alliance/Horde thing anyway. Innocent people shouldn't have to die, regardless of who or what they are.

17. Ordinary Day: Not to get super out there but I think this song works as symbolizing Cathala really trying to hold on to her faith in Elune, but ultimately feeling pretty abandoned. I mean she can clearly see Elune's influence everywhere. But Elune sure ain't doing Cathala any favors as far as she can tell! It also ends the whole playlist on maybe a bit of an uncertain/open-ended note, because this "losing faith" aspect is a new thing with her and will definitely be something she continues to struggle with for a while. On a related note, I should say Tarinne is still very much devout but she gets what Cathala's feeling and doesn't force anything on her, and vice versa. And Cathala wouldn't become atheist, the night elves aren't monotheistic and she still worships all the other deities, it's just specifically Elune she's a little :/ on.

[icharchivist]

Could you write up a script/summary for their (Percy + Sandy) interaction? I'm interested too. 👀

HI NONNY!

i haven't written in forever i'm so rusty and i don't know how well i can fill that but let's try

(also i don't know how much i can write a script, if only because those two's way of speaking would drive me to tears trying to figure out the flow of their sentences.)

And it depends whenever we, indeed, acknowledge the wmtsb's incident

I could see perhaps a meeting in Sandalphon's coffeeplace. After all, what kind of future king would Percival be if he didn't make sure to know every corner of the Grancypher, every little business in it, and made sure they were going well? And besides, it is coffee. As a connaisseur, it would also be his duty to make sure that there is nothing but top quality on his vassals' ship.

Once Sandalphon would have offered him a cup of his best coffee, Percival would call out to discuss with him.

It would ensue an overly long and complicated conversation about coffeebeans, how to take care of it, their harvest ect.

"Oho. It's the first i hear anyone having such knowledge about coffee before that point." Sandalphon would probably remark.

"Mph. Naturally. Knowing about the quality of what one drink is essential, after all."

"I can assure you that there is only quality under my care. No one knows coffee better than i do."

"That much i could figure, after such a coffee."

While Percival can be pretty prideful and boastful about his own knowledge, i doubt he'd go as far as to oppose to that statement made by a primal who clearly has a long history of experience.

On there would be build a rather good and jovial conversation about coffee.

Eventually, Percival will bring up that he does have, under his care, a coffee harvest place for the Kopi Leol. I don't really want to think about how the conversation would go in details because i think Sandalphon would be interested in the idea at first, then get really heated up about hearing about the process to make the coffee and Percival could grow rather defensive about this answer, and it would look maybe a little similar to the conversation with Vane in the Bistro event, probably adding its lot of "It's nonsense! Complete Nonsense!" as Sandalphon learns about the process.

But i also think Percival would manage to stay more calm than he was with Vane, and eventually, "It would be better for you to test it before writing it off. Unless a pro like you would be unable to make use of this particular taste?"

Yeah i can see him lightly provoke Sandalphon and Sandalphon being picked enough that he would eventually concede to the challenge.

Now honestly, i'll leave it up in the air if Sandalphon approves or not that coffee ahah.

But i do think there would be a common ground and a conversation held in polite, but albeit quite smug atmosphere.

Eventually the conversation would stray away from coffee and start talking about the crew, MC, Lyria and Vyrn.

Both could quickly realize that they have similar strength, both being swordmen and at ease with the use of light magic. as fighters they could discuss more about their skillsets.

"So you are a primal, correct?" the conversation would go further. "May i ask, what are you focusing on?"

"I inherited the duty to watch over the skies." Sandalphon would answer in a firm way, not wanting to elaborate further on his situation with a man who's merely a stranger at this point.

"A heavy responsibility." Percival would comment. "You have my sympathy."

"And what were your motivation on joining this crew?" Sandalphon would question.

Percival would pause before answering, judging to which length he could discuss it with the primal, until he figures that if their Captain trust him, then so can Percival.

"I am Percival, Prince of Wales, and future King. The Captain is my vassal and we sought to build a country untouched by war, protected by peace."

"... That's quite the ambition. And the responsibility."

"And i intend to see it through."

"With the Singularity on your side and their unability to give up, i suspect you may indeed."

A chuckle. For a moment, they would relate to one another. While different scales, their goal is to protect the world they come to care about. Both of them followed the Captain because this was the best way to do that... and both of them ended up caring about them, after all.

From then on the conversation can actually shift over that. On their mutual respect for the Captain, and on their responsibilities as people who are set to protect a huge group of people. The nuances, due to the different scales, but still an understanding to be had, calm and composed.

Further in the conversation:

"May i ask, how did you meet the Captain?" Percival asks.

A silence. Awkward. "That's... a long story." Sandalphon gets uncomfortable, avoiding the way Percival is looking at him, frowning at this answer.

Sandalphon figured he shouldn't mention that he almost killed their Captain when they met. It's not something he'd bring up to people he doesn't know, but having talked a little with Percival make it certain that it is an incredibly bad idea.

It's not like Percival doesn't know that some of their crewsmate had a rocky start with the Captain so he doesn't push. He doesn't know how far it extends with Sandalphon and perhaps he shouldn't press. If he's on the ship, it's because the Captain trust him after all, right...?

The only way i could see the shoe drop would be because the Captain, Lyria and Vyrn, passed by the coffeeshop and saw those two discuss and decided to join in. What an odd pair, they comment, but surely this can be interesting.

They discuss of what they've discussed so far, of the fact they seem to get along pretty well. Everything is going pretty fine, in general.

I don't have the set up for it but then at some point, Sandalphon ends up teasing the Captain a little. And the Captain decides to give it back with their most trusty weapon:

"Oh Sandalphon, your fingers are delicate."

Not the day Sandalphon was specifically thinking about how much he shouldn't bring up that one day! He gets flustered, a bit panicked and alarmed.

"A-Again with that??? Could you please not use it on me anytime you want to get your way?? I admit of my folly but-"

"Your folly?" Percival's voice butt in, frowning, trying to figure out the meaning of this exchange.

Sandalphon realizes that he is setting himself up into a very. very bad situation. He sends another alarmed glance to the Captain, who also realizes that the situation isn't wise. Like, sure they love to tease Sandalphon with it, but knowing Percival, this is not something that should be said. Lyria too, seems to pick up the situation and she starts to panic.

"It's nothing!" Lyria tries to cover up. "They're just joking around it's fine!"

Clearly something is /not/ fine though, and Percival frowns further.

.. Vyrn however didn't seem to get the memo:

"Isn't that what you told them when you threw them o-MRPH"

The Captain immediately reaches to Vyrn and put their hand on his mouth, trying to shut him up. Now something is definitely strange. Sandalphon is wincing and Lyria seems even more agitated than ever.

"Threw them....?" his voice is low and menacing. "Threw them where?"

"Nowhere!!!!" Lyria tries to cover up. "No where! It's a joke right Vyrn... right????"

"A-Ah... right!" Vyrn finally understands, as the Captain is finally letting him go. "Right! He didn't throw them out from an island or anyth- oh."

Wincing from everyone around the table. The expression on Percival's face turn darker and darker, reminiscent of Aglovale's darkest times - you can see the uncanny family ressemblance.

"Next time i slice you off you lizard." Sandalphon hisses a threat under his breath to Vyrn, realizing how bad this whole situation is for him.

"I DIDN'T MEAN-"

"So it's true." Percival is calm, too calm, like the calm before the storm.

"But i'm alive!!" The Captain puts themselves in front of Sandalphon, putting on their brightest smile. "It was years ago, I'm alive and well, and Sandalphon now knows better, so please calm down."

Easier said than done, but while still angry, hey, the coffeeshop didn't burn down just yet so-

"Please Percival-san!" Lyria pulls on her cutest puppy eyes. "We'll explain everything to you, but don't do anything to Sandalphon, please!"

And it's only because all of them are protecting Sandalphon that nothing degenerates just yet. Percival is willing to listen.

And while upon hearing the tale, the idea of burning Sandalphon to crisp is tempting, he learns to deal with it. In the first few months following this announcement, Percival would be particularly cold to Sandalphon, making it clear that it is only because the Captain asked that this is not escalating.

But after a while and a few battlefield together, and especially seeing how much Sandalphon is protecting them all, he would eventually ease down and let it slide. Sort of.

And that's more or less how i'd see the whole thing play out.

The writing is all over the place because i wasn't settled on making it an actual narrative piece DLKFJDLKF but i hope you don't mind and like this mess of a post o7

Take care!

[xxconclusione-aperioxx]

Okay so I'd like to share what I commented on this video. I watched it and it sent me into a whole rant about the motives and characterization of Draco. I recommend watching before reading this:

@quinncurio is the original poster

Here's the copy paste of my comment/ Essay. I was slight heated when I wrote this, but my points still stand.

"OH BOY. HI, HELLO I VERY MUCH DISAGREE. ALSO: DISCLAIMER: DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE A VERY LOGICAL EXPLANATION, FOR WHY THIS ANALYSIS DOESN'T WORK.

Calling a Draco a cowardly bigoted bully, and a carbon copy of Dudley is the most SHALLOW and LOW EFFORT CONCLUSION YOU COULD POSSIBLY DRAW. IT IS LOW HANGING FRUIT. I'm going to have to break this into sections to truly explain why your conclusion is soooo incredibly shallow. You may have done your research, but I feel like you learned nothing more about Draco then if you'd never seen more then 5 min. So I'm going to start the same way you have and break this down into the same points.

PART 1 : AN ANALYSIS OF HARRY MEETING DRACO

I'm not going to go into detail of Harry's impression or ideas of Draco, because this analysis is about Draco, Not Harry. Also remember the books were written from Harry's POV, not a neutral party. I'm not obliged to Harry's opinions, just facts. Which brings up the first true conclusion about Draco's character. *Draco Malfoy feels a strong need to impress others, to gain their affection.* He does this through incisive bragging, trying to make people believe he knows best, and tearing down the reputation of others, so the object of his desires sees Draco and the most obvious choice. Where we differ is:

You believe Draco does this, because he thinks, he's better then others.

I believe,(which circumstantially has more evidence), Draco does this because he wants the affection, and acceptance of others

Whether you believe he acts out this way bc of how he is raised, his privilege, or something else, it doesn't change the fact that Draco was truly trying to make a friend, perhaps the only way he knew how.

In noble wizarding society, traditions, and your family does mean a lot. Not even looking at it from a pureblood view, imagine having a family that old and known. They really are a type of nobility, with family Lords even having political seats in the Wizengamote just because of their family name. The Longbottoms and Weaselys hold this same political influence, and it's not tied to Slytherins, pureblood ideals or anything like that. Draco is an only child, and an heir to his family line, so he is going to be treated importantly bc of that. He is raised with that responsibility, and in social situations not only represents himself, but the whole heritage of his family. Draco hasn't had the ability to act like a normal petulant child (part of the reason he tends to act out at Hogwarts.*ie. away from home*). He's been taught to act proper, make good allies, and impress others for the good of his reputation. I'd say most noble wizarding children probably get the same training and lectures, and have their own customs and culture of educate. What may come for Draco as polite, and diplomatic, may sound rude or arrogant to Harry. This is because Draco was not aware how different Harry's upbringing was from his own, and has never dealt with not having enough. Perhaps if Draco knew how different and ignorant Harry was he would have felt pity, or a sense of wrongness at Harry's injustice. Though Draco is just an 11yr old boy, who's only ever had a loving family, and almost anything he wanted. It is difficult for him to relate to the lack of others. As all wizarding children, he probably grew up with the story of the boy who lived and may have even been excited when his father said he wanted them to become friends. He truely was excited to meet Harry and genuinely wanted to be friends. While yes Lucius definitely wanted Draco to befriend Harry to help lighten their family reputation, I also think that Draco, being a child, would more likely be more excited of making a famous friend. Maybe he even had some hope seeing he'd met Harry before when he saw him on the train.

Part 2 : THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRACO AND DUDLEY

Draco's sense of superiority comes from his traditions and pride in his family, while Dudley's is strictly from his own greed and selfishness. Draco would't do half of the things Dudley does simply because it's incredibly unclothe, and he has better ways of getting what he wants. Dudley isn't smart enough to compare to Draco. Though Draco and Dudley might both have things handed to them, Draco is not gluttonous or greedy about it. Dudley will trash his gifts and belongings, constantly wanting more, and viewing things given to him as disposable. Draco wants things yes (like every child does) but he's proud of his possessions and cherishes them, brags about them. Dudley is an animal compared to Draco. He doesn't have the same skill, smarts or self control. Dudley is abusive, and a tyrant in his bullying. Dudley wants to see Harry hurt and bleed. He is very violent compared to Draco. While we constantly and repeatedly see Draco shy away from violence, and use more his words.

Part 3 : DRACO'S "HARASSMENT", STRATEGIES AND EVOLUTION.

Draco despite his threats and facade is Not a violent person. This is because despite all Draco's bravo, and cruel words, Draco is kind. Yes he is conflicted, but that is only more proof of his inner kindness. If he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't feel conflicted. Which means he really doesn't want to be mean to others, but he's just acting out based on how he thinks he's supposed to feel/act, but doesn't really enjoy it. I think when you strip Draco back behind his actions, and pose, you'll find a very different person. The half-blood prince gave us some of that, but it's another thing to see it in Draco from the beginning. Essentially Draco's attempt at bullying started when Harry rejected his friendship. Draco had probably never been rejected before, and probably couldn't possibly fathom why Harry would choose anyone else over him. While yes that's a bit coincided, Draco was also incredibly sheltered and probably wasn't introduced to children who weren't already tied to his family. Harry's rejection irrevocably shattered Draco's confidence and perception, which sent him into literal years of lashing out at Harry for his hurt emotions, and pining for his attention. It is the most pathetic excuse for bullying, and Draco antagonizing Harry is the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails. Draco did get quite shrewd with words, but he was really just trying to get the biggest reaction, especially since Harry is so volatile at times. The truth of the matter is Draco is actually very jealous, because deep down he really admires Harry. He want's the same freedom Harry has. He doesn't want to worry about his duty or who he has to be, but to be able to live authentically the way he views that Harry does. Draco really just wants to be more like Harry, but feels he is stuck, by the Dark Lord, his family obligations or anything else. Draco isn't a bully, he's just sad. Not even Ron or Hermione take him seriously after a while. *cough*this is why Drarry is so huge*

Part 4 : He had no choice?????

Everyone has a choice, but I think you over estimate how easy a choice can be. Family is important to Draco, they are probably the only people who love him for who he is, not what they can get out of him. As a child Draco felt pride in his family, and family made him feel special and important. As he got older that pride turn into expectations, and responsibility. Lucius and Narcissa value the preservation of their family above all else. They are protective and loving and those feeling extended to Draco. It's where he gets his kindness. It is indeed a Slytherin trait to value those you care about above everyone else. We protect our own, a loyalty probably stronger then Hufflepuff for those select few a Slytherin deeply cares about. Draco's parent would let the whole world burn to save him, and Draco would do the same for them. While Draco's family did hold pureblood ideals, after the first war Voldemort was not someone they willing wanted to follow. The light sided also would have never offered aid to death eaters, because fundamentally they were still against the dark, and there was no other place for dark wizards to go except Voldemort. Most of the death eaters had actually been somewhat relived at the news of Voldemort's death, and the boy who lived, as Voldemort had already become insane to the point of torturing his own followers, and wasn't getting them anywhere near their goals. Except for the also insane brainwashed few like Bella who'd follow her lord to the grave, many of the death eater's were content to be peaceful and stay quite after the war. Probably even grateful for it, as there were many needless casualties on both sides. I feel like the Malfoys were one of those families that were happy to get out. If the side they are on is harmful or losing, they are ready to abandon ship. This may sound like they are cowardly with no resolve, but if it was the life and death of your family, and your loved ones, I think you might think differently. I feel like we aren't too far off in agreement here, but where we differ is in judgement and motives we feel the Malfoys, or Draco had. Lucius made a mistake in the first war, and spent the second trying to keep his family out of danger. I can't imagine the fear he had in Azkaban for his family, the dementors feeding off him and what he thought the Dark Lord would do to his only son, his wife, his family. Meanwhile Draco was left with the threat of his father rotting in Azkaban, and his mother being killed. His mother also with the thought of her son being killed. So yes Draco could have made a choice, and he did make a choice, a choice to protect his family, and honestly I can't see that as wrong. Maybe if Harry would have actually taken his offer of friendship things could have gone differently and it wouldn't have come to that.

Part 5 : Abuse Theory

I definitely agree with you here. The Malfoys were not abusive, and get a better anthology for racism then something which in fact could be solved with a study on culture rather then blood. If you want a good parallel for racism in HP forget muggleborns, and look at creature blood, not dumb house elfs either, but werewolves, goblins, centaurs beings just as intelligent as wizards. The bigotry towards werewolves especially is horrific, especially from the "light side" who avidly labels them as dangerous dark creatures. *Also note about the scene in Borgen and Berks* Lucius stopped Draco from touching the artifact because it was probably cursed, as many dark artifacts are. Even if you know what you're doing they can be dangerous to handle carelessly. So Lucius was actually very wise and protecting Draco, his 12 yr old son, from getting badly hurt. Why the cane? If touching a cursed object curses you, then its better not to get close with your actual hands. Using his cane to push Draco away was actually a precaution. Lucius is anything but careless,

Part 6: Draco's Wand and Symbolism

I generally agree here too, but I believe this symbolism is more reflective of the things Draco wishes he could have had, or done differently. If anything the wand and symbolism Draco has is representative of the good in him, and not cowardice, or inability to do enough.

Part 7: Redemption

Tbh I'm part of the crowd that would have liked that deleted scene to stay in the final cut. However I understand what's justifiable for one person, may not be enough for someone else. This is where you get more into the topic of morality, and how much are you morally responsible for as a person. Harry has been drilled with the mindset for years that he has to save everyone, and that if your not in it for the greater good, ready to lay down your life you better forget being in it at all. Personally I don't believe Harry has any right to claim that rhetoric, as Dumbledore(and by association Grindlewald) practically spoon fed it down his throat; but I wont talk about that as it's a whole other issue. Draco, you have to understand has a whole type of different morality. Objectively I believe he's a good person, if not pressured by the echo chamber of ideals around him. Yet Draco repeatedly gives signs, and expresses the desire to want to do good. In order to properly analyze Draco you have to look past his outward facade, and actions, or you'll never see him as anything more then he pretends to be. If you can only read plain text, if you can't see past the obvious, you will always have a very flat one dimensional view of a character or a person. To me there's no redemption needed. Draco is already good, more good then his parents, and perhaps more good then some who claim goodness.

In summary Draco is a very complex person, who tries to over compensate for his flaws, struggles to express honesty, but deeply cares for others, especially his family. His duality lies in how he wants to be good to others, yet how in the end he always chooses to save the ones he loves, over the majority. Draco will always have his flaws, but he will always have his goodness too, and I hope you won't disregard that.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S

Kudos to anyone who read through all that.

[kaoru-takaida]

LONG Character Survey: Tius Mason

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Tius Mason

NICKNAME: N/A

AGE: 25

BIRTHDAY: 20th Sun of the First Astral Moon (January 20th)

ETHNIC GROUP: Miqo'te (Seeker of the Sun)

NATIONALITY: Eorzean

LANGUAGE(S): Eorzean

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: ?

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Taken

CLASS: All Rounder

• Specializes in defensive and illusion arts

• Also skilled Paladin, and studying healing arts

HOMETOWN / AREA: NA

CURRENT HOMETOWN/ AREA: Mor Dhona

PROFESSION: Scion

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: White, silver/black

EYES: Blue

NOSE: Sharp

FACE: Pointed

LIPS: Full and plump

COMPLEXION: Natural

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: Various battle scars and burns

TATTOOS: Regular Miqo markings (blue and bkack)

HEIGHT: 5'9"

WEIGHT: 140 lbs

BUILD: Toned, fit, athletic

FEATURES: Beauty mark left corner of his mouth, and cat feet *new* scar on right cheek,

ALLERGIES: N/A

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Usually tussled and with a stray bit of hair sticking out and fluffed upward in the back or pulled back in a messy ponytail/bun

USUAL FACE LOOK: No makeup, clean, tired at times

USUAL CLOTHING: Usually short to no sleeves, a few necklaces and something "to show off my nice abs and arms. Because they deserve it. ;3"

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): Closed spaces, bugs that crawl, heights, losing loved ones, being weak, captivity

ASPIRATION(S): To support Kaoru and his sister and someday have a family

POSITIVE TRAITS: Energetic, strong willed, straight forward, funny, caring, no nonsense, calculating, stealthy, confident

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Gets jealous easily, blunt, stubborn, acts on emotions, no hesitation to start arguments, cocky at times

ZODIAC: Capricorn

TEMPERAMENT: Hyper comic relief

SOUL TYPE(S): Rogue, Jack of all trades

ANIMALS: White Lion

VICE HABIT(S): Squats, lounging, fishing, sparring

FAITH: The Twelve

GHOSTS?: I guess

AFTERLIFE?: maybe

REINCARNATION?: Probably

ALIENS?: Dude, there are other worlds that we know of. So duh.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: What the what?

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: Um...

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: I think you should leave the political questions for Alphinaud...

EDUCATION LEVEL: Basic education, extensive training in illusionary and defensive arts, some training with Arenvald as a Paladin, *new* minimal training in healing arts

FAMILY.

FATHER: Ebinger Mason= adoptive (deceased)

MOTHER: Nanci Heartilind= adoptive (deceased)

SIBLINGS: A'mandi Heartilind (alive)

EXTENDED FAMILY: Scions of the Seventh Dawn

NAME MEANING(S): NA

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?:  N/A

FAVORITES.

BOOK:

MOVIE PLAY:

5 SONGS:

• "Deeper" by Valerie Broussard, Lindsey Sterling

• "Darkside" by Alan Walker

• "Silver Lining" by Hurts

• "Alligator Sky" Owl City

• "Lights" by BTS

DEITY: Azeyma, Nymeia

HOLIDAY: Little Lady's Day

MONTH: January/ First Astral Moon

SEASON: Spring

PLACE: Costa Del Sol

WEATHER: Bright and sunny, warm with cool breeze, clear

SOUND: Waves crashing in the beach, gentle wind, chocobo carriage

SCENT(S): Spice, ocean smells

TASTE(S): Sea salt ice cream, dango, cafe de Leche

FEEL(S): Cotton, soft leather sofa, warm cuddles, cat paw pads

ANIMAL(S): chocobo

NUMBER: 3

COLORS: Light blue, grey, white, black

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Athletic, fast learner, has many tricks up his sleeve, can detect lies without fail, master of illusionary defense

BAD AT: Controlling his feelings, cleaning, minding his own business

TURN ONS: Smart, can enjoy little things and let loose, laughs at his jokes, nice, compassionate, selfless

TURN OFFS: Selfishness, ignorance, pettiness, laziness

HOBBIES: Training, fishing, exploring, playing

TROPES: Sexy comic relief

AESTHETIC TAGS: Pastel blues with white or black, outdoor fitness, ocean skies

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): Nada

ALT FC(S): Nope

OLDER FC(S): Nunka

YOUNGER  FC(S): <sigh>

VOICE CLAIM(S): Bryce Papenbrook voices him?

GENDERBENT FC(S): Pffft.

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

• I guess Tius would fit perfectly in an action comedy. With a but of mystery.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

• Tius would definitely be into epic trailer music covers.

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

• I wanted to create a character like Chat Noir from Miraculous Ladybug but for my own.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

• At first I had planned on making a fanfic featuring him and another person as the main characters, but he eventually was put on the back burner til I needed a romantic interest for Kaoru in the main narrative. He's essentially a catboi who is the culmination of what I find attractive in FFXIV paired with the voice and attitude of Chat Noir from Miraculous Ladybug.

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

• That I don't really have much of a feel for him 100% yet. He's still in the creation process and has been developing as I go, much like my main Kaoru has.

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

• I guess the sarcasm. And the humor. The jokes he uses generally are all my own comedic tastes. So I guess I'm secretly a funny person.

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

• I think Tius and I would be great friends.

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

- Kaoru Takaida: His loving girlfriend

- Hope Gallant: His girlfriend's best friend (@louderthanthedj)

- Alphinaud Leveilleur: Always had a rivalry with for Kaoru's attention which they eventually worked out

- G'raha Tia as The Crystal Exarch: Immediately suspected his feelings for Kaoru and saw past the lies he spun, still a sore topic

- Thancred Waters: Thancred was always a mentor to Tius and teaches him everything he wants to learn

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?

• I basically wanted Kaoru to have a romantic interest in her adventures with @louderthanthedj and he became such a great character

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

A couple of days since I work a crap ton and my internet is poopy.

[lyllyan-weiss]

LONG Character Survey: Lyllyan Weiss

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Lyllyan Aster Weiss

NICKNAME: Lyl, Lily, Lil' Lily.

AGE: 21

BIRTHDAY: 11th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon (November 10th)

ETHNIC GROUP: Auri|Xaela (In Eorzea)/ Human (Out of World)

NATIONALITY: Eorzean (In Eorzea)/American (Out of World)

LANGUAGES: Eorzean, Draconic, basically anything due to the echo.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: She is Bi. Swings both ways. She loves all.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Depending on the different routes on the story, she will be either single or taken.

CLASS: Jack-of-all-trades

•Knows everything and knows how to play everything.

• Favors caster classes above everything else.

HOMETOWN / AREA: N/A

CURRENT HOMETOWN / AREA: Shirogane is where her apartment is, but she sees Ishgard as her home that she spends her time in, and then the Crystarium had became home to her as well.

PROFESSION: Scion, Adventurer, Full time hero in both her world and Eorzea. In her world she is a waitress and an artist/animator.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Right now it is Brown with Light brown Highlights

EYES: Purple (Right), Green (Left)

NOSE: Small and Sharp

LIPS: Small and full

COMPLEXION: Pale but fair.

BLEMISHES: None.

SCARS: In Eorzea, her scars are battle scars that is more aligned on her back. They do not show up when she is in her world.

TATOOS: The Scion Tatoo on the part where the neck and back meet.

HEIGHT: 5'0

WEIGHT: 130lb (Eorzea)/ 150lb (Her World)

BUILD: Short, Thin and fit.

FEATURES: None really.

ALLERGIES: Rolanberries in Eorzea, Strawberries in her world.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Long hair with a half braid in the back in Eorzea. In her world she has short hair that stops in the middle of her neck.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Warm color Eye shadow applied lightly to the eyes and a very nude color for lipstick in Eorzea. In her world, she hardly puts make up on, but usually has dark circles due to being tired all the time.

USUAL CLOTHING: Depending on her mood, she'll go very modest, or wearing a bikini with thigh boots. In her world, she is always modest with usually a t-shirt and sweats.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEARS: Bugs (Mainly Arachnids, spiders are the worst.) Antilions that hide in the sands. Losing her love ones. Becoming Sin Eater. Being alone. Falling.

ASPIRATIONS: Explore all of the worlds she could go to, but also to make animations that can change the world.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Stubborn, happy go lucky, Compassionate, tries to take care of everyone, protective, loving, friendly, trusting.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Stubborn enough to push past her limits, usually getting her hurt. She so selfless that she tends to forget about taking care of herself. She can be too trusting of others that she often gets hurt in the end. She usually bottles her problems with the worry of being a burden to others. Very emotional driven (Just ask Ser Zephirin).

ZODIAC: Scorpio.

TEMPERAMENT: Artistic and Motherly

SOUL TYPE(S): The Priest, The Artisan, The Server.

ANIMALS: Cat

VICE HABIT(S): From the definition that I read, her faults are that she feels like anything bad that happens to her or her friends are her fault, and that she sometimes Envy others. But her hobbies that she enjoys are reading, triple triad, drawing, and writing.

FAITH: The Twelve. Even in her world she believes in the Twelve.

GHOSTS?: Definitely

AFTERLIFE?: I hope there is one.

REINCARNATION?: Well so far that we know, reincarnation is a thing, right?

ALIENS?: I doubt the world was made for one type of civilization, plus multiple worlds. Yes.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Uh...Alphinaud does politics for me.

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: Just trying to survive, man. Stable, I guess.

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: Uh... Alphinaud???

EDUCATION LEVEL: Lyllyan herself has had up to some college in her own world. In Eorzea, she has an understanding of Aether and well has learned all the classes, so being able to pick up something new, she can learn fairly quick.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Captain Carebear (Mykel Weiss)

MOTHER: She doesn't have the ability to go to Eorzea so her name is Lynn Weiss.

Siblings: Lucas Weiss(Rafien Dalarain(Deactivated)), Nathaniel Weiss(Random Guy (deactivated)), Olivia Weiss (Never been to Eorzea).

EXTENDED FAMILY: Grandmother(Nana)(Deceased), Granfather(Poppy), Fortemps Family (Rest in Peace Haucherfaunt).

NAME MEANING(S): Lyllyan is based off of the Lily flower. Aster is based off of the Aster flower, and then Weiss is a name given to those with white hair or pale complexion.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION: Um...Ascian? Amourotine?

FAVORITES.

BOOK: If its Manga, It's Rurouni Kenshin. Books would be the 'Septimus Heap' series by Angie Sage.

MOVIE/PLAY: Movie would be 'Wizard of Oz'. Favorite Play would be 'Hamilton'.

5 SONGS:

•'Seasonal Feathers' by Len and Rin Kagamine

•'Drakkar' by Distrion and Electro-Light

•'Light it Up' by Robin Hustin and TobiMorrow (feat. Jex)

•'Stitches' by Shawn Mendes

•'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran

DEITY: Thaliak

HOLIDAY: Valentione

MONTH: November/ 6th Astral Moon

SEASON: Spring

PLACE: Rak'Tika Greatwoods

WEATHER: Rain

SOUND: Ocean waves.

SCENT(S): Cherry Blossom, sweet.

TASTE(S): Favorite food is Bacon so....also likes sweet things.

FEEL(S): Fuzzy blankets, warm cloth, soft.

ANIMALS: She loves all animals! If she had to narrow it down, it would be Cats, Pandas, and Chocobos. Does Pokemon count?

NUMBER: 8 but screw Construct 8

COLORS: Purple, light green, light blue.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Drawing.

BAD AT: Math. She used to bring her homework to Eorzea to have Alphinaud and Urianger help her.

TURN ONS: Oooo. Funny, kind, calm, generous, but also romantic.

TURN OFFS: Selfish, rude ass hoe, and killing my friends.

HOBBIES: Singing, Drawing, Reading, Exploring, Triple Triad.

TROPES: Mother Hen.

AESTHETIC TAGS: Chocolate and Caramel. Honey. Lavender and Leaves. I think that's how this works???

FC INFO.

MAIN FC(S): Scions of the Dawn. It consist of Dad and myself.

ALT FC(S): None.

OLDER FC(S): We did have an FC on Gilgamesh called Lionheart with the Tag FF8. It was one that we had started the game when we got out of beta, but moved to different server/data center.

YOUNGER FC(S): *Confused Au Ra noises*

VOICE CLAIM(S): ??????

GENDERBENT FC(S): *Even more confused Au Ra noises*

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?

•So, I'm already making a comic that I want to make as an animation for the story of FFXIV with my character and her friends. This character was specifically built for FFXIV, but it has a twist. Kinda like a Sword Art Online ordeal, but instead of Millions of people playing are stuck in the world, it's just like 100, but they aren't stuck, in fact they are just chosen to go between their world and Eorzea. If they die, they don't actually die, but respawn, even in their own world, but they feel how they die and the only way for them to die in any shape or form is by natural cause like old age or sickness. This would be a 2D animation in the anime style and be a multi episode series with multiple seasons. I even though about branching out to go certain routes so that Lyllyan can end up with all my favorite characters. I would call it Final Fantasy XIV: A World Reborn.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK/SCORE SOUND LIKE?

•With it being a Final Fantasy story, it would have Final Fantasy Music.

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?

•Lyllyan Weiss was made to represent me and she still does, but also inspires me to be more like my courageous heroic self. Because of this, I have been able to do things like crossing a bridge that's in bad shape to get to the other side without the fear of falling, just to get back to my mom who went to the other side on a trip we had.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?

•She is literally me.

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

•Just like me, she is stubborn and hard working, but there are times she pushes herself way too much. She hesitates to ask for help, not because she doesn't trust the people around her, but more of trying to not burden them. Others wish she would open up to them and also rest when she can. Raha has to literally force her to rest, and she nearly gets herself killed against the first battle with Rahjit because she kept getting back up to fight even when the others beg her to stop.

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?

•Almost everything. Major thing is that she doesn't look like me, but also I know when to quit.

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?

• I feel like if Lyllyan and I were to meet in person, we'd get along just fine. We would play video games all day long if we could.

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

•OH BOI HERE WE GOOO

- Leveilleur Twins: Alphinaud and Alisaie are very close to Lyllyan. Alphinaud used to pull Lyllyan out of class to have her hurry up and go through the story, now its chill and play ace attorney. Alphinaud, depending on what route is taken, is definitely in love with Lyllyan and is constantly teased about it by everyone. Alisaie is like a sister to Lyllyan. They have had many nights where the pulled 24 hours playing Sims. Alisaie is who Lyllyan tries to protect the most between the two. She's also the reason why Lyllyan is now Bi. Lyllyan absolutely adores her and if the route is taken, they end up being the cutest couple.

-Leon D'hart: An Alt character that I made that depending on the story and route, he is also Lyllyan's Lover. He is a character made by Square Enix to be the Warrior of Light replacement if Lyllyan did not succeed in preventing herself becoming a light warden. His story with her is a bunch of trial and tribulations, but in the end they do end up married.

-G'raha Tia/Crystal Exarch: The main story Lyllyan's Lover. Great friend to start out and tears were shed when he sealed himself into the tower. He really kept Lyllyan guessing when he was Exarch. When Emet-Selch kidnapped him, Lyllyan was hellbent on getting him back. Now she visits him at the first everyday bring stuff from Eorzea for him, and even occasionally stuff from her world. He is her world as she is to him.

-The Scions: Thancred and Lyllyan are like Big brother, Little sister. He protects her, and scolds her as such. They may act like they hate each other, but the moment either gets hurt, the other is at their sides. Though rumor has it that Thancred had feelings for Lyllyan. Y'shtola is close to Lyllyan, but is usually not around often. Shtola usually is often around to keep an eye on Lyllyan's aether since her amount is quite high compared to the others and her fellow Warriors of Light. Urianger is someone who used to hardly talk to Lyllyan, but started opening up more after the years. He had watched her grow from 15 moons to now 21 as the others, but they seem to be more special to him. Lyllyan swore to protect him if anything ever happened especially after he asked her her thoughts on his new attire. Tataru is a precious angel and if anyone was to hurt her, Lyllyan would kill everyone and then herself. Ryne, even though she is not a scion, she is a scion. Ryne worries about Lyllyan, but is often in awe of her. Lyllyan and Thancred adopted her, and she's ended up calling Lyllyan mom on many occasions.

-Ser Aymeric: Depending on the route, he would be Lyllyan's Lover and he tries to protect her when he can, be it politics or in war. He has a dream to journey with her, and though he can't do so with Lylyan Weiss the Au Ra, there is nothing saying he can't make a character and become a Warrior of Light himself and travel with Sakura Yue(Lyllyan's Alt).

-Zenos Yae Galvus: So this guy commits Seppuku and then shows up at Lyllyan's job as her new Bartender. They end up becoming friends through the job, and the fact that Zenos is bored out of his mind that he can't go kill people,but finding out later that he is back makes Square Enix themselves worried about this guy.

-Estinien: Lyllyan had adopted him as her Edgy Son. He hates it. He reminds her that he is older than him, and she retorts about beating him as a Lalafel. He usually starts brooding after that on a high building that usually takes Alphinaud and Ser Aymeric to get him down.

•I'm only stopping this cause there are so many more characters!!!

Q9:WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?

•Music and Playing Final Fantasy. Mainly XIV, but others do count too, but also reading all the other fanfiction and comics about final fantasy XIV.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?

About...4 hours? Maybe more? My hands definitely hurt from all the typing! XD

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Tagged by @amandafullmetal

Tagging @ladyramora @ranier-layarte @scholarlostintime @fabledtactician