#i mean they're GOOD. is as healthy as it can be and they got better thanks to each other. but they're stuck. neither of them goes to therap
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I feel like bitchin so I'mma bitch bc I always see people going on rants on their Tumblrs and I'm long overdue for one. Anyways, this is a long one so be aware you are gonna be scrolling for a good bit if you view under the cut.
ANYWAYS, I know that that rude anon from last week is old news but their whole "I'm sad that Glitter and Guilt is a m/f relationship" thing is just a part of a never ending situation I am going to experience til the end of time (or til I stop posting stuff online) just because I focus on primarily m/f relationships in my art.
And they aren't even straight m/f relationships, which is what annoys me the most about comments like this. They're all bisexual. But because people see bisexual characters as better than straight but less than same-sex attracted orientation, I will always have to deal with these passive aggressive ass comments.
I dealt with this typa stuff SO OFTEN in my early days on Instagram, especially when I posted some of my gender nonconforming OCs like Danny (my pink demon man who dresses like a bimbo Barbie doll). It got to the point I stopped sharing him over there for a bit because I would get comments where people were hoping he had a boyfriend in the past, or they were disappointed I "never" drew any Sapphic couples because they mistook Danny as a woman in a pic where he was kissing Karrie.
And I get the whole desire to want more representation. Trust me, I'm bi, black, and nonbinary. I am NEVER going to get any type of representation outside of the indie artists I find in small niche circles online. I completely get the whole "m/f relationships are EVERYWHERE in mainstream media" mentality because I also agree but only to a point.
There's a ton of trashy m/f media, but there's also good shit when you dig because you can find people who don't just shove a guy and girl together and call that a done deal - they actually give them personality and chemistry and a fun dynamic.
I'm a firm believer that the gender of a ship shouldn't dictate if it's good or not. An interesting dynamic is what motivates me to care about a couple of characters dating. That's why it bugs me whenever someone suggests any kind of series to me and simply tells me "It's gay" before telling me the actual plotline. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT A SERIES IS ABOUT! DO NOT WASTE MY TIME!!! (Please do not pop into my inbox after reading this and suggest me stuff btw because I've never been a big suggestions unprompted person - I typically find stuff myself bc I have weird tastes ANYWAYS BACK TO MY RANTING)
When it comes to my art, I draw m/f relationships as a primary focus because it's fun to mess with gender dynamics and flip them on their head, as well as to give younger me the food I wish I had. Growing up, before I realized I was nonbinary, I rarely saw any black girls in loving relationships in animated series I enjoyed. And occasionally I would get flash banged with the long despised trope of "Disposable Black Girlfriend". So I never felt like m/f relationships were oversaturated in my eyes because there were barely any good ones that featured a black girl with a happy ending - which means from DAY MOTHERFUCKIN ONE I was starving for content.
So that obviously means that when I grew up and adopted my "Make your own food" mentality, I started cooking. AND COOK I STILL DO! Because in the end, I make all this food to please myself. OTHERS MAY EAT OF COURSE - I am always happy when people come to my restaurant to dine because they enjoy my meals, but I hate how every blue moon I will get someone who waltzes into my little eatery and tells me that they wish I cooked the meal they get from other restaurants.
Because it would be so much more productive to just go eat AT those restaurants since they already got the food you like.
Having people comment their displeasure about me drawing a guy and a girl together in a healthy (and occasionally insane) relationship is always baffling to me. It's never going to make me stop, it'll only make me draw more Red Beans or more Licorice. It's also so baffling because I know that if the tables where flipped - and I was drawing primarily same-sex bisexual couples (OR JUST SOME GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES IN GENERAL BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT BI FOLKS AT ALL), it would be so fuckin' frowned upon to comment "I wish you drew more m/f! 🥺"
But because I draw m/f bi couples, it's totally free game. IT'S DEF STILL FROWNED UPON but one is way more likely to make you look like an asshole than the other. Because even in cases where people have said they agree it's a dick move to complain about m/f from me, there's still that vibe of it being more acceptable just because of mainstream media having so many m/f couples and that being the standard of offline society.
But I'm not mainstream media. And I disagree with a lot of standards of offline society which is WHY I poke fun at gender norms with my OCs.
That's why getting a ton of new followers is such a "oh boy here we go" thing for me, because with old followers that have been around for awhile, they know what's up. They understand what I draw, what I write, and how my OCs typically behave. They get that my m/f ships have rabies.
But new followers don't know this. And this has led to some real big "OOF" moments. Like people calling Jack and Nana a "het" couple. Yes, I know that that's a term that doesn't JUST mean "heterosexual" and can refer to them being different genders. It still feels hella weird for me - it's why m/f is my preferred descriptor because it lacks that confusion.
New followers are typically the ones that leave the passive aggressive comments about me mostly drawing m/f. OFTEN because they think I am one of those artists who will draw whatever it takes to please my audience. BUT I AM NOT - THERE IS NO AUDIENCE INFLUENCE HERE ☝🏾
I am not a taxi where I pick people up whenever they call me and I drop them off wherever they tell me.
I am a roller-coaster. Specifically those ones where you can see the entire track layout in the distance so you know what you're in for. You may sit in the front or the back or somewhere in the middle but that is the last input you got before I take off at my own speed (that will be stated RIGHT on the warning sign you read as you walked in) and once I am done, you may get off and carry along your merry way through the rest of the park OR you may get on to ride again.
This entire passive aggression towards m/f ships is just so tiring to deal with because there will never be an end to it. Even after I post this, I know days, weeks, months, YEARS down the line - someone will see some Jack and Nana art, or some Bitterbat and Sweetheart comic, or ANY of my other m/f couples, and type up some comment about how they wish the couples were same-sex. Or someone will lament over the fact they thought a couple was same-sex but it turned out the dude was just hella feminine.
Because it just ain't enough to have bisexual characters that are dating the same sex because then people will call them "straight passing" and not count them as being queer. And having all my OCs being bisexuals ain't enough to mark me as a queer artists in some eyes because "making all your OCs bi is just lazy" and not me representing an aspect of myself that I constantly see sidelined online.
Me drawing bisexual m/f couples is viewed as something that can be tinkered and tampered with so I can be more appealing and inclusive to others like I'm some mainstream Hollywood series and not just some random person online who draw the fictional beings in my mind kissing each other whenever I got the crumb of free time. Primarily drawing m/f couples means I gotta just vibe whenever I see a moot or a friend post or reblog some weird sentiment referring to how lame m/f couples are and I just gotta HOPE that they aren't including bisexuals when they engage with stuff like that.
I'm in this weird space where I am wedged between "You're not a straight artist" and "You aren't drawing enough gay stuff" online.
And I'm fine with this since I've been online for over a decade at this point. This isn't a vent post, this is a rant. I don't need cheering up or comfort after posting this. This is just some real talk because I typically post lighthearted stuff since I like to keep my blogs positive.
But I also like to keep my shit honest and I think it's important to just state a piece of my mind. I wouldn't say I'm being vulnerable, this is just some insight to why I draw what I do and why I get so annoyed by certain interactions with people and certain sentiments online that are antagonistic of m/f ships that put them all down without hearing them out.
Blah blah blah I'm tired of typing and I've said most of the main points I've needed uuuummm
If you read this long have some m/f fluff
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I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me
#thylacines can talk#actually i do know it says mmmmm making horror monster ocs is fun#outside of my fandom ocs my ocs and original stories arre dominated by horror elements and religious themes oopsie daisy#i might eventually post about them but the hk brainrot is going strong#but a friend of mine got a commission for me of my doomer human x monster yaoi so you'll see my Main Babygirls soon 🥰#hand in unlovable hand they're fucked and weird and it's an unhealthy relationship and it'll never work as everything is stacked against#them yet each other is all they have and if being together means their death then so be it. Peter should have probably ran. Should have left#would be better off for the majorth of the story had he never met it yet the two are so alike. it's the first thing that's ever unnderstood#him. it's the first 'person' that's ever truly cared for him. And even if it has flaws and his life was ruined by things beyond his#comprehension and he risks his life he's not willing to let go of the only person whos truly seen him and loved him. Who is willing to tear#its world apart and die for him. There are no happy endings here. They were doomed from the start. But at least they have each other.#also tfw your life and 'family' sucks so much that a literal monster who manipulated you and used your body to carry out ruthless murders is#nicer to you than your goddamn brother and friends. like damn dude.#I honestly think if Slaughter was born a human their relationship would be great for both of them they truly fit together like two puzzle#pieces. two outcasts who have so much in common and find comfort in one another. but because of the circumstances of Slaughter's nature and#what it was forced to be this is not a healthy situation or a relationship. Peter comes out better at the end and would be as good as dead#if not for meeting Slaughter so there's a silver lining in all of this but goddamn dude. the bullshit it took to get there.#The fact that his life was so bad literally getting possessed by a monster and almost being murdered numerous times and an insane amount of#trauma and bbeing a target for monsters for the rest of your life literally IMPROVED IT my guy truly cant catch a fucking break 😭😭
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oof
#actually yeah remember that time i had swine flu#i had a 104 degree fever and was terrified to go to the hospital#not because of the hospital but because i'd have to manage my parents' emotions and anxiety while i was there on top of being sick as hell#i locked myself in the bathroom refusing to let my dad take me to the ER#and only gave in when he promised he wouldn't tell my mom#and then his girlfriend told my mom. they fucking lied#and then. you guessed it. i had to manage everyone's emotions while we waited for the ER to do literally nothing#the swine flu tests were super unreliable and i got a false negative. they sent me home with some antibiotics and called it a day#then sheepishly called a week later when the second test came back positive to basically ask if i was still alive#swine flu fucked me up for a long time. but it didn't warrant an er visit#and it certainly didn't warrant my parents fucking breaking my trust like that#i know they only told my mom so they didn't have to deal with her going off after the fact#which is such bullshit. that's the kind of thing a parent is supposed to take and shield their kid from#not break their trust so you get it easy#but of course. if my dad had been one to take my aversion to my mom seriously then. then he and i wouldn't be going on 4yrs of no contact#because a looooot of things would've had to be different for that one thing to happen#god i have so much anger for my parents. so much grief#my mom's been surprisingly silent (all things considered) in the near month i've been no contact with her#and it's not like seeing the disgusting emails and voicemails from her feels good but... but they're almost better than nothing.#they're sort of love. in a way. not really... but. but it hurts to know how hard my dad fought to get through to me#and to have spent the past 4yrs with my mom rubbing in my face how she'd never be like him and Just let me go. how she'd fight.#being told that at the time didn't feel like love. didn't feel healthy. and now seeing that she didn't even fucking mean it.#she prided herself so much on being the one who Loved Me More. really hard not to see it for the performance it was now#makes me wonder if my dad really actually did love me as much as he said. not that it was much but. it was more. it was something#i know he's not capable of change. even less capable than my mom. but. i really miss my dad right now.#(glad i can still remember what his voice sounds like. so i don't have to go listen to one of those old voicemails he left me)#even considering that the memory that brought this all up was him lying to me and betraying my trust#being no contact with my parents...i'm finally the orphan i always have been#personal#ahhhh therapy's gonna be JUICY this week 🤣
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i forgot my antidepressants and it shows
#read: i have a lump in my throat after writing how caspian feels about chase and how chase feels about caspian#i love them dearly but their relationship is obviously affected by their mental illness despite they try their best dskfmkdfjkdsinfeiffffff#i mean they're GOOD. is as healthy as it can be and they got better thanks to each other. but they're stuck. neither of them goes to therap#one of them because he thinks he's a lost cause and a piece of shit who has no hope in getting better so why even try.#and the other one yearns emotional stability yet is scared of losing the only thing that has been 'stable' through his life; sadness.#the therapy thing is a sensitive subject in the relationship both of them hate when is brought up. it never goes anywhere.#the funniest thing is that is chase who mostly brings it up (for cas) and yet he stays silent and changes the subject whenever cas is like#'well you would also benefit from getting professional help. i don't want you to end up in a situation where#the consequences are too much for you to handle and you end up at risk due to your anger issues'. this shit frustrates caspian to no end#oc talk
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Piece of advice is to always thank people for bring you bad news, so long as it's bad news you need to know to do something about it
Like that's really the only context I can think of bringing bad news in, so like... feel free to ignore if they're somehow just being spiteful with it, but like if they're coming to you like "yeah, you bed turned to goop while you were out and you need to get a new one", yeah that's not the sort of thing you want to hear but you probably need to know about it so you can fix it
The reason to thank them is so that you don't accidentally take your frustration over the bad news out on them, cause if you do that you won't get bad news and that means you won't be able to make accurate decisions when you're missing key info
Always gotta reward the behavior you want people to do if you want it to keep happening
#that's not what this post is actually about#this post is about someone that's not on here doing something that they don't mean anything by but is the wrong thing to do#because while I know that's not how they mean it so I'll ignore it; it feels like a bit of a kick in the gut#so this is me sharing what to do right rather than saying what someone's done wrong#... for a number of reasons; some less healthy than others#but one of the reasonable reasons being that I'd rather focus on what is good to do instead of what's bad#but just... mind your words; cause if you say stuff thoughtlessly you'll find other people's behavior shifts or dries up#so in my opinion it's better to actively affirm that you appreciate stuff rather than even just saying nothing#and this is more shifting back to what I was saying in the post; but that includes when you're annoyed#if someone pissed you off but they're doing something you want them to keep doing... need to reward it#like... lets say that... lets say you've got a kid and they ask annoying ass questions#well bad news; you probably want them to come to you with questions about important stuff later#so sadly the only wise move is to swallow your irritation and be grateful they're asking you; and do what you can to answer honestly#which funny enough is also the polite move#or at the very least as politely as possible explain it's not them it's you; but you're just too damn tired to answer questions#less ideal and more likely to shut things down; but it's still better than being actually nasty; and maybe you just are too tired#...I don't know#it's all kind of just nonsense rambling
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more omegaverse 141
You've been on base nearly six weeks and finally feel like you're setting into a routine. You get yourself up early, training yourself or your squad. You know omegas in active duty still carry a stigma, so you do your work before anyone else is up. No need trying to fight for a stall on the gun range against a bunch of alphas who don't believe you belong, or work in the gym to the whispers you know follow you everywhere. Better to get it done where they don't see.
You try to minimize your footprint on base, staying out of other soldiers' way and wearing scent blockers. You don't need to draw more attention to yourself. You're glad your work speaks for itself, but even that puts a target on your back.
You've already been approached by two alphas wanting to make you their pack omega. Both were clear, though, that they held traditional pack views. One was even ballsy enough to tell you you'd have your first pups within a year of his claiming.
He'd been stupid enough to bring all this up while sparring with you, expecting to prove he was better than you.
He ended up in medical with a broken nose and dislocated shoulder.
Price heard about these run-ins too and knew he needed to approach you differently, so when he sets his tray down a few seats from you at breakfast, you're not instantly wary. He glances at you as he eats, noting the array of fruits and protein on your tray. He appreciated that you ate healthy; it spoke volumes about how you'd play into pack dynamics.
He waits until you're nearly done to clear his throat and get your attention. You were the only two at the table, but that wasn't too uncommon. You knew your squad listened during trainings, but you weren't sure they entirely respected you, and with most of them betas, you understood the stigma that might follow them if they chose to socialize with you outside of trainings.
Price offers his wrist and waits. You look from Price's hand to his face and back before gently picking his hand up and smelling it. The light scent of smoldering embers and dying leaves and that unmistakable scent of alpha hits your nose. He smells like autumn, and you're momentarily disarmed.
"Cap'n John Price," he tells you. "Word 'a yer skill's makin' it's way 'round base." You make a noncommittal noise at that. You can only imagine the stories being told about you among the higher-ranking officers. "Got a proposition fer ya." You watch him, equal parts curious and wary. "Yer skills are just what my task force needs. 'Specially your work with ammunition. My sergeant said ya grouped head shots and center mass shots with three separate weapons."
You shrug. "Never saw the point in just gettin' good with one weapon, sir."
"And that's why 'm here," he says. "Wanna offer you a spot on the 141."
Your eyes widen and your breath catches. "What..." You've heard of task force 141. They're practically legends on base. "Are you... I mean..."
Your brain comes back online as you realize this isn't an alpha trying to breed you, this is a Captain building a strong, specialized group of soldiers, and he wants you to be part of it. There would be no higher complement, and no better way to prove omegas could be just as good in the field as betas and alphas. You quickly pull yourself together.
"That would be...it's an honor, sir. Thank you."
He watches your entire conflict and asks, clarifying, "So tha's a yes?"
"Yes, sir!" you reply enthusiastically.
next
#cod#poly!141#poly!141 x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#omegaverse#omegaverse 141#omegaverse tf 141#a/b/o#a/b/o 141#a/b/o tf 141#johnny mactavish#kyle garrick#john price#simon riley#nerdygirl says
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Adding into the discussion of the incarcerated young people fighting fires in California:
I can think of no place worse than prison for emotionally stunting or regressing a person or for dismantling their ability to make good decisions.
You take an adult or child who maybe has exhibited some antisocial behaviors, right? So you remove them from whatever community and support network they have, put enormous financial and logistical barriers between them and any communication with that community. Incarcerate them hours from home in a place not accessible by train or plane with narrow visiting hours that conflict with people's work schedules, and maybe you're fighting to prevent in person visits at all, maybe you got a kickback from a company selling expensive video call visits so people can't even hug their kids when they drive 6 hours on a Wednesday to see them. Get a kickback from a phone service provider that's going to charge extortionate prices for every minute a person spends talking to their loved ones, and if the state passes a law saying you can't do that anymore, pivot and go after the mail. Subvert USPS. Get a kickback from a company that'll give prisoners shitty scans of letters or refuse to deliver it because it was flagged for drug contamination by a machine with a 70% false positive rate, force them instead to send texts at extortionate rates through their proprietary app.
Put them in an environment with a bunch of other people with social issues and force them to compete for resources. Give them no mental healthcare. If they are victimized by other prisoners, punish the victims with solitary confinement. Transfer people around so they can't form meaningful long-term friendships. Tell them that once they get out, it will be illegal for them to talk to any of the people they meet here.
Hire guards who have no qualifications other than a willingness to be a modern day slave overseer or the ignorance to not realize that's what it is, give them complete control over every aspect of other people's lives and tell them those people want to kill them and that any object can be covered in drugs so dangerous that touching them can kill. Allow the guards to traffic drugs into the prison with impunity. Have the guards discourage racial mixing because racial conflict in the prison means the prisoners won't join up against the staff.
You do all of this and you ask if a 20-year-old, who's been in the system since 14, is emotionally mature or psychologically healthy enough to choose to risk their life in exchange for slightly better living arrangements.
You take someone who has probably made some bad decisions, right? And you put them in a place where every detail of every day is decided for them: what they eat, when they eat, when they sleep, where they sleep, what clothes they wear, who they talk to, where they work. Or maybe you give them big decisions that have no right answer. Maybe at the start of the day, you open the cells and they have 10 minutes to decide if they want to be stuck in their cell all day - no shower, no recreation, no library - or go outside and be stuck in genpop all day - no napping, no alone time, no escape if someone is hassling you. You let them decide if they're going to eat breakfast at 3am (because there's too many meal shifts) or sleep in and spend their precious commissary funds on toaster strudel (they have no toaster) or sleep in and not eat even though you're barely giving them 1000 calories a day. You let them start to make decisions about how to spend their day, then you put them on lockdown, take all those decisions away.
You do all this and then you ask if anyone who's spent time in this environment has the decision-making skills to choose to risk their life in exchange for slightly better living arrangements.
All of the incarcerated firefighters in California are 18 or older, and all of them volunteered, but there is no world in which they were adequately prepared to make that decision.
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trust me
max verstappen x reader | 2.3k
after an incredible (and wet) weekend in brazil, you have a confession to make.
cw: a loving relationship! discussion of anxiety/fear/worrying about your race car driver bf, healthy communication, and softness galore.
a/n: being a wag must be so stressful. like, damn! also, rain races stress me out, personally. this fic is about that.
__
The triple header comes to an end in the best way possible.
Max Verstappen wins the São Paulo Grand Prix from a 17th-place start! It's the stuff of dreams. The fist around your heart unclenches just a little bit as you watch him smiling, roaring, hoisting his well-earned trophy aloft. It's your best day in a long time, watching your darling boyfriend like that, and you celebrate with everyone late into the night. The Championship battle looms in the background but tonight is about the hard work from the weekend. The stress, the frustration, the damn rain. All of it worth it for the pride you all feel right now.
But what comes after -- that, you can admit, you enjoy even more. Three weeks until Las Vegas and Max and the team have plenty of work to do before then, but for now? For now, it's this: rest.
Everyone gets to go home, finally. And for you, home is wherever Max is. You've spent the first few days of the break thus far at his place. On the floor with the cats, on the couch watching movies. In his bed, sleeping, sometimes, other times... not so much. Hours and hours just being together. You'll have plenty of time for this once the season ends but you can never get enough of him.
You're on the couch, sprawled across the length of it with a book in hand. It's a good one, so much so that you don't notice Max until he taps your ankle and you jump.
"Jesus," you gasp. His lips are pulled up at one corner in the precursor to a full grin, sweatpants slung low enough that you can see the branded band of his underwear between the drawstrings and the hem of his t-shirt. "Where did you come from?"
"Watching race replays," he says with a shrug. "Scooch." You tug your legs back and sit up a little, bookmarking your page as he rounds the couch and plops down where your feet were.
"Max," you whine. "I like to watch those, too. So you can do that thing where you narrate like, every second." You're teasing, but only a little. For all the jokes about "maxplaining," you really do love how he explains things. He tells you what he was thinking at every turn, what the trick is, how long it took him to get it right. He points out his mistakes and those of the other drivers. All of it thoroughly and with enthusiasm, answering your questions like you're the best student he's ever had.
"Yeah, well," he says, sinking into the couch, arm stretched across the cushions towards you. Your eyes rake over the line of his bicep as he talks. "You don't like rain races very much. Wasn't sure you'd want to see it again."
That gets your attention. "How did you know that?" You've never told him outright that they stress you out. It's really important to you that you keep your cool at the track, that you don't do anything to let on that he should worry about you.
But you should know better, it seems.
"I can tell," Max says, looking right at you. "I pay attention."
You hum, not sure what to say. "You've got me there," you confess. "I'm sorry."
"Hey," he tuts. "Why the apology? You can feel however you want to. This weekend was complicated."
He feels too far away. You set your book on the ground and shove your toes under this thigh. He keeps his eyes on your face but you fuss with the hem of your t-shirt rather than look back.
"They're exciting. Rain races, I mean." You sigh. "But I can't help but worry, Max. From the garage, it's so --"
You lose track of your words because Max grabs hold of your legs and tugs them over his thighs as he moves closer to you, almost crowding you against the arm of the couch. He reaches for your collarbone to pick some lint from your shirt, his other arm slung across your calves.
"Were you scared?" he asks. "This weekend, I mean."
Frankly, you avoid telling him things like this because you don't want to distract him. You don't want to detract from his performance in any way and maybe that's selfish, because you know he's very good at what he does and how you feel isn't going to derail his weekend. But you know he loves you, and you know how deeply he feels things. How much he wants to be a good partner, a good driver, a good man. And you try really hard to let him know that he is all of those things.
The reality of your position in his life is that there will always be people who heavily imply that your presence, your actions, your choices could be at fault. It's ludicrous -- Max has said so many times -- but it makes you hype-aware. You don't want to overstep. It's something you know you should articulate to him properly, but you know he'll be upset that you think you can be anything but a good part of his life. It's an endless cycle.
"Hey," he says, mistaking your silence for emotion. "Liefje, I'm fine." He reaches for you, cupping your cheek with a warm hand. You look up at him and find him frowning.
"I know," you say, leaning into his palm. "I know you are. I just -- I don't want it to sound like I'm a whining baby or something."
"Whining baby?" Max gently rubs the skin under your eye with his thumb. "Psh. We've got some of those on track. You couldn't come close to them if you tried."
That gets a laugh out of you and he cracks a smile at the small victory.
You sigh. "I was scared," you admit, voice soft. Max presses a little closer to you, his hand falling from your face to catch yours, fingers twining together.
"Are you always scared?" he asks. "You're more tense on rain weekends, I can tell that much. But you've never really talked about this. I guess I--" He frowns again. "I've never really asked you."
"That's okay," you say. "It's nothing, really."
Blue eyes bore into yours. "No, I want to know," he presses. "Please, tell me?"
You tip your head back a little, eyes on the ceiling. How to say it?
"I guess I'm always a little scared, yeah," you say. "I don't know how I wouldn't be."
He tugs on your hand so you'll look at him. "What is it, do you think?" The question comes out in his typical way. This must be how he is in driver briefings, you think fleetingly. Max is analytical, methodical, always looking for the root of the problem so he can understand it and adapt.
But how do you explain this?
"Well, it's a dangerous sport," you explain. "As you know. And I -- Max, I love you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
The furrow of his brow lessens a bit and he presses a light kiss to the back of your hand. Your stomach flutters, even after all this time.
But Max has no time for your mooning, apparently. "Were you scared before we knew each other?" he asks.
You think about it. "It's different, I guess. I was worried, generally. For all of you. I'm still worried for all of you, but --"
His eyebrow quirks and he fails to hide a cheeky smile. "Me the most?"
You roll your eyes and squeeze his hand. "You the most. But don't tell Carlos that."
Max tuts. "So, now it's just worse? You feel it more?"
Nodding, you try to explain. "I don't even like watching on TV, now, because I'm so far away. I feel so helpless."
You can't make it to every race but you try your hardest, not only to support Max but for your own sanity. It's easier to calm yourself down when you're around other people who believe in him, when you have access to all the details and when he's only a few steps away when he's out of the car.
"I don't want you to be worried," he says, softly. "You don't let on that you are when we say goodbye before the race, aside from being a little tense."
One of your favorite pieces of race weekends -- those few moments when all of his attention is on you. He makes sure you have everything you need and leaves you with a kiss and a smile and a see you later. His confidence and his competence are like balms.
"When I'm looking at you, I'm not as stressed," you say, a bit shy. "You're very good at your job, you know. And your confidence is convincing."
"I know," he says, seriously. "That's why I know it'll be fine. Do you not know that?"
If he was less determined, you'd ask him to drop it, since you're starting to feel embarrassed. But you know he won't let it lie.
"I know it, too, Max." You reach for his face to push back some fringe from his forehead. "I'll always be worried about you, though. You get in the car and drive away and I just -- sit there. And wait for you to come back."
He frowns, deeper this time. You keep your hand on him, cupping his jaw and running your thumb along his stubble.
"And I love it. You know I was a fan before I met you and it's a dream to be there to watch you race. I love seeing you do crazy things like win from p17. It's so much fun."
He knows this about you. You've got a bit of a reputation for your facial expressions in the Red Bull garage, always the first on your feet when he overtakes, jumping up and down when he extends his lead. It's an infectious kind of joy and energy and you lean into it every time, even if your stomach is churning with anxiety.
Max is quiet for a few moments. He covers your hand with his and leans into it further.
"You trust me, right?"
"Of course," you say right away. "Always."
"I've never really thought about it," he says, slowly. "I mean, in the car. I don't worry about you because I'm not worried, so I just thought you knew not to be, too."
"I'll always worry, Max. Even though I trust you."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
Your cheeks heat and you look away from him, pulling your hand free to cradle it in your lap.
"You've got a million other things to worry about besides me," you say. "I don't want to distract you."
Max says your name with a scoff, literally waving his hand as if swatting away your silly notions. "Distract me? Come on," he says. "I wouldn't be a three-time world champion if I could get so easily distracted." He leans into your space, nosing at your jaw. "Even if you are very distracting."
You allow the attention for a few moments before pushing him back with a laugh. His cheeks are flushed, hair a bit of a mess, like after he takes off his helmet. And, god, he looks relaxed. You're so proud of him you can hardly stand it. The season is almost over and you know he's got a lot of work ahead of him, and you've got a lot of worrying. But he's motivated, and you know he can win. You know he'll come back to you.
Max leans his head back on the couch and casts his gaze sideways at you, nose scrunched. "I can't fix this, can I? You're still going to worry."
He sounds so resigned, so disappointed in himself that you tug on his hand so he'll get closer. This time, you frame his face with your hands and kiss him, just a light press of your lips to his. Both of you sigh into it, and you drag your mouth along his cheek until you reach his ear.
"I'm still going to worry," you whisper. "But I love you and I trust you. And I know it'll be okay."
Max sighs and presses his forehead to your shoulder, practically pulling you into his lap so he can wrap his arms around you.
"You better hope it doesn't rain for the rest of the season," he mumbles.
"That damn VSC," you groan, pulling back from him a bit. "I was going to tear my hair out!"
Max laughs. "It kept things interesting," he says lightly. "Rain isn't really a problem for me, schatje, you know this --"
"Because you're Dutch, I know, Max." You roll your eyes. "Even Fernando couldn't keep it together! I mean, the gasps from the garage when --"
The seriousness of your conversation fades as you trade tidbits about the race -- you've done this already, hashed it out in the hotel room and the flight home and in bed since Sunday. Max watches you talk, elbow braced on the couch and his head resting in his hand. His eyes sparkle and you know you're amusing him as he corrects you on the turn names and who went in the wall when. Max loves you: you've never doubted this. He loves you and he cares about how you feel and doesn't want you to be worried.
And while you will be, because you love him, you know that it'll be alright.
"Hey," Max says, interrupting your opinions about start procedures. "I love you, okay? Thank you for worrying about me."
"Graag gedaan," you say. Well, you try to say. Max laughs and corrects your pronunciation. You're welcome, he says, over and over, a kiss to your cheeks, your nose, your forehead each time. Ik houd van je. Your lips, your neck, your jaw.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen fanfic#mv33 x reader#f1 fanfic#my writing#mv33#fic: trust me
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Hi hi hun! Hope I’m not bugging you but I’d love to hear your opinion on the yandere Twst boys and who is willing to share darling/me/Yuu. I see so much sentiment about yanderes never sharing/teaming up but I just don’t get it. Some characters have such tight friendships, or fill what the other lacks, that I see them working together so well! Like sure you could divide them by dorm, kinda obvious, but then there are other less thought of team ups that could be fun. I’ve seen on here what’s dubbed as the number 2 squad (Leona, Jamil, and Vil) and I think that could be a relatively healthy (maybe a little competitive) team up. Others that come to mind, Jack and Vil, music club, and the four house husbands (Trey, Ruggie, Jamil, and Jade). Like teaming up means darling always has SOMEONE watching them. One may be better at comforting/calming darling, while another is more sly and can manipulate them better. There’s just so many fun combos you could play with! I’d love to hear what you think!
Remember to take care of yourself. Drink water, eat a snack, and stretch! Have a great day! 😊
Ty for the lovely ask, darl’ 🥺
Okay! Let's start with the team ups within each house!
HEARTSLABYUL
Ace and Deuce -- obviously. They're your first friends in the school (aside from Grim, but he doesn't count), the only people they hang out with aside from you is each other. They bicker, but they also understand that it's more advantageous for them to work together. Ace still teases Deuce and I think both of them still Daydream of getting you to themselves, but you've taught them the magic of teamwork and, unfortunately, you taught them well.
Riddle and Trey -- Childhood friends. Like with what we know of their story, I feel that Trey in particular would be willing to share with Riddle. And they're pretty well balanced as a yandere team. With them there is no cut "good cop/bad cop." Yes, Riddle is strict, but he's also so very baby, yknow? With his raging mommy issues, I imagine he's the type who would love to be coddled by his darling. Trey is that older brother type, so of course he knows when and how to put his foot down, but he's also so so so sweet and gentle. Riddle is definitely more likely to dole out punishments, though.
Cater -- he doesn't need to teamup to have the power of numbers on his side.
All 5 -- Riddle doesn't just watch over you, but also the others lol. He creates a schedule and rules for the members of this yandere team to follow so they can work as a well oiled machine to care for and share you. Ace is the most likely to see you even when its not his scheduled time. Deuce is a suck up who always tries to earn your favor, VERY easy to manipulate and get favors from. Trey is very sweet, but incredibly difficult to manipulate. Cater is a schemer who would probably plan an escape with you to keep you to himself. And as I already said, Riddle is the one who keeps everyone in check.
SAVANNACLAW
Ruggie and Leona -- again, a fairly obvious one. Ruggie already works under Leona for table scraps, of course he'll work with him for you. Leona acts top dog in the relationship, and gets first dibs with you, but what that really means is that any time you're not with Leona, Ruggie is making up for lost time. Like in the Heartslabyul team up, Riddle makes sure to schedule breaks/alone time for you. You don't get that here, you are always with one of them. Your "alone time" is when Leona sleeps.
All 3 -- basically just Leona and Ruggie throwing Jack a bone (heheh). In this one you can technically get some sort of alone time, cuz if you talk it over with Jack, he'd be willing to give up some of his time with you to make sure you can rest up.
OCTAVINELLE
Octotrio -- or as I prefer, the seafood polycule. I already did a whole separate post just talking about them lol, but you got twins and childhood besties and they're also business partners, like these boys know how to work together and share.
SCARABIA
HA fuckin unlikely. Even if Jamil does have the patience to share a darling with Kalim, I just -- like I'd feel too bad to write it. Like let him have this one thing, I am not going to make Jamil share his darling with Kalim, ESPECIALLY because darling would probably cozy up to Kalim more because delusional sunshine yanderes are the easiest to manipulate.
POMEFIORE
Rook and Vil -- these two barely even need to verbally communicate, when it comes to their darling they are on the same wavelength, which makes them a formidable team up. Like they got systems in place that just happen naturally, no need to discuss. For example, if you run away, Rook hunts you, Vil punishes you. They just work.
ALL 3 -- Vil lets Epel join in so long as he behaves. Epel would be the easiest to manipulate, but Vil keeps the both of you in check. Despite Epel's negative feelings towards Vil, Vil and Rook can turn Epel on you just as you turn Epel on them. Epel isn't completely stupid, if he finds out you're taking advantage of him, it will not be pretty or cute.
IGNIHYDE
Ortho would definitely platonically help out. You make his big brother so happy, and you make the perfect older sister for him!!
DIASOMNIA
Silver and Sebek -- calm n loud. Basically their relationship with Malleus but transferred into yanderes + darling.
A part of me can see Lilia teaming up with Silver but I don't like thinking about it for too long
All 4 -- The situation in the Diasomnia group is basically understood as you are with Malleus, but you are allowed to also see the other 3. Like the other three are side pieces. Malleus is sharing with his boys. You gotta share with your boys.
MIX N MATCH
The Freshies -- Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek -- freshies gotta look out for each other, right? And that's what they're doing. Looking out for you.
The Discord Mods -- Azul and Idia. If Idia were to team up with any one person, I think it'd be Azul. Like in Azul's lab wear vignette, Azul was the only one Idia felt comfortable enough to ask for help from. I can imagine them scheming together in their club teehee.
The Overblotters -- they all realized they share one thing in common... no, not overblot, you! They all share you! They swear that you are their cure, the only thing to keep them stable. So you kinda have to stay with them, for safety reasons.
The House Wardens -- it's the overblotters but switch out Jamil with Kalim. And it makes all the difference, having the sunshine boy involved, istg. The housewardens deserve something nice, right? That something being you ofc.
The vice house wardens -- including Ruggie. A lot of them are very tired and just want quiet darling time, and the ones that aren't tired make darling feel tired enough to be quiet for quiet darling time.
Leona and Rook -- Leona did not consent to this, but there's not much he can do. Especially since Rook is happy not only to do most of the physical labor involved in caring for a darling, but also to stand by as Leona gets Darling time. It's weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
The light music club -- they spend most of their club time talking about you tbh. Also please don't listen to closely to any lyrics of the songs they write...
Basketball boys -- imagine going to their practice to support Ace. Ace brags to them about how close he is with you. But then now when Floyd isn't in the mood to ball, he'll chat it up with you. One day Floyd just asks "you what if we took them." And then they do.
These are just the basics, but I'd be happy to go into more detail on a group/pairing if asked to!
#yandere#yandere rambles#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere heartslabyul#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce spade#yandere trey clover#yandere cater diamond#yandere riddle rosehearts#Yandere savannaclaw#yandere jack howl#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere octavinelle#yandere octotrio#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere azul ashengrotto#Yandere scarabia#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper#Yandere pomefiore#yandere epel felmier#yandere rook hunt#yandere vil x reader#Yandere ignihyde#yandere idia shroud#yandere diasomnia#yandere sebek zigvolt
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—call it what you want
pairing: theo nott x fem!potter!reader
summary: in a school filled with people that have a watchful eye on them like they're celebrities, theo and y/n try to keep their relationship private
notes: this just came to me and i thought it would be cute! also theo calls reader belle as a nickname sometimes
-> let me know if you want to know more about their relationship, i think they're my favs now
"can you turn the page, please?" you were laying cheek down on the table in the library, your boyfriend next to you
he sighed before he did turn the page. "we could just stop studying if you're tired" theo suggested
"absolutely not!" you protested sitting up straight suddenly and nearly loosing your balance, theo catching you before you could fall off the chair.
"why are you so determined to study till you're sleeping?" theo asked, while he pushed you back into a comfortable position "i don't even think this is healthy"
"i just know what all of them think" you narrowed your eyes at two whispering two years across from you
"okay" theo said confused, following your line of sight "and what would that be?"
"oh look at y/n potter" you changed your voice to sound more like one of the whispering people in the school "she's doing worse in class than her brother since she got a boyfriend. proves that you can't be smart and pretty"
theo broke into laughter at that and was immediately shushed by madam pince. he quickly apologized before he shook his head at you. "no one is thinking that"
"really?" you asked sarcastically "because i just heard someone say exactly that on the way here"
theo sighed "so what's the plan, baby? you're gonna break up with me?"
you shook your head and rolled your eyes "obviously not"
"okay, then what?" before you could answer, the girls across from you started giggling and theo send them an irritated look, which seemed to be enough for them to leave you alone. they quickly gathered their books and left the library, but not without sending another look in your direction
you ignored what had just happened and buried your face back into the potions book. theo gently pushed the fallen down hair out of your face. "i just have to study until i'm sure that i'll be better than harry. i don't want to be the one whose grades suffer only because she had sex"
theo tried no to laugh, because he noticed that you were actually concerned about that. "i know that you're incredibly smart, belle" theo mused "you will be amazing without studying the entire night, and even if harry is a little better than you, it's just one class, isn't it?"
"i suppose"
"good" theo closed the book and slid it under his arm, standing up and holding his hand out for you to take "let's get you back to your common room"
you sighed, but nodded and took your boyfriends hand, who walked you directly to the gryffindor common room. "don't think about what they're saying anymore, okay?" theo said softly "only you and me know the truth and no one else has to know it"
"i know" you smiled "it just feels so weird that all they seem to do is talk about us"
"we knew that they would, sweetheart" theo reminded you "you're the chosen ones sister and i'm like your very own forbidden fruit"
"no, no, no" you giggled "you will not get away with calling yourself my forbidden fruit" you laughed again and theo smiled, happy that his plan to make you laugh succeeded
"fine" he nodded. he held the book out for you to take "that reminds me.." his hand wandered to his pocket, taking out a small box
"theo...." you said slowly
he detected what you thought immediately "i'm not going to propose" he deadpanned, before he held the box in your direction, taking the book once again so you could look into it.
"theo" you said, but happy this time. in the box was a beautiful gold necklace with the letter 't'
"i don't mean it in a possessive way" he explained "it's just.. eh i don't know.. i'm always next to you, okay? i'm always on your team" he paused, not being able to interpret your expression "you know what? it's stupid, you don't have to keep it" he outstretched his hand, ready to grab the box, but you pulled it away before he could reach it.
"are you daft?" you asked and theo gulped "i love it" his smile returned as quickly as it had vanished a few seconds before. "can you help me put it on?"
you turned around and theo quickly closed the chain around your neck, plastering a featherlight kiss on it, before he took your hair that you had been holding and gently pulled it down. you turned around to him and smiled "thank you" you kissed him and theo felt like his heart could burst.
"of course, belle" he smiled and waved you off, when you entered your common room. then he turned around and walked back to his own.
#theoandbelle#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x you#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x reader#harrypotterimagine#harry potter headcanon#harry potter#call it what you want#reputation#taylor swift#established relationship#cute#fluff
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You all know I love soft feedist themes - they're my ride-or-die constant in my personal kink life - but soft feedists have GOT to start doing some more reflection on the ways we talk about our kink because I am seeing post after post saying things like "I like soft feedism so much better than other kinds of feedism because only soft feedists want connection with their partner and treat their partner with respect and like they're a whole human being, and can balance kink and real life because of how wholesome and nice our kink is."
Not only is that super ignorant and condescending towards people who aren't into soft feedism, who are no more or less capable than you are at healthy kink practices and treating their play partners with respect and love, but it's also a really unhealthy pattern for so many members of our community to say things that reinforce the stereotype that hard dom/sub dynamics and fatphobia play are abusive or unhealthy, or that they are in any way excepted from risk-aware consensual kink (RACK) practices.
When these beliefs become widespread, it means people newer to feedism get the message that any abuse they experience from partners is par for the course if they want to engage in anything but soft feedism. If you're labeling soft feedists as the healthy, supportive, respectful feedists, it means you're ultimately dismissing a huge portion of feedists as 'barbarous' or 'beyond saving', and regardless of whether that's true or not, you're showing yourself as willing to abandon those feedees you see as subjecting themselves to abuse and disrespect instead of working to make sure that every single feedist knows that ALL feedism IS healthy, IS respectful, IS about connection and intimacy when the scene is over. Anything else isn't feedism: it's abuse, exploitation, harassment, rape culture, and fatphobia.
It's also extremely important to decouple in your head that any particular identity or way of being, whether it's identity labels that correspond with your kink fantasies, gender or sexual orientation, or anything else is *inherently* safe; trustworthy; and capable of healthy, respectful, and deep interpersonal connection. The fact that you like popping mini muffins into your partner's mouth in front of a fireplace instead of pretending to force your partner to funnel a weight gain shake doesn't mean you magically know how to communicate well, practice adequate aftercare, or listen to your partner's needs. It doesn't mean you are more knowledgeable about fatphobia. Preferring cuddling and gentle feedings doesn't make you a supportive person to be around or make you incapable of creating a controlling, hurtful, pressured, or shaming environment. We have to learn these things explicitly, we have to practice them, and we have to keep practicing them.
It does you and your potential partner/s a disservice to be actively creating these blind spots in your mind where you never have to examine your own actions or patterns of behavior because you're a Soft Feedist, so that means you're automatically "good." On a community level, you are creating a culture where abuse and mistreatment can go unchecked because "we're soft feedists so that means we're all nice".
That's a culture that makes it harder for people experiencing abuse and mistreatment to speak up. If abuse doesn't happen here, maybe I'm just imagining it and making a big deal over nothing. If abuse doesn't happen here, am I going to ruin the image of soft feedism if I speak up? Will people even believe me that another soft feedist could be mistreating me since everyone knows the people here are so nice and wholesome and care about their partners?
I'll say it again: ALL feedism is respectful, ALL feedism is consensual, ALL feedism is about mutual connection and intimacy, and ALL feedism means treating others as whole autonomous human beings. Claiming otherwise hurts all of us, including other soft feedists.
#I was scrolling I was moving on I was ignoring those posts but y'all keep putting that shit on my dashboard!#I know I say this a lot but I'll stop talking about it when I stop seeing new posts by soft feedists going on about how superior they are#It's also the implication that 'hard feedists' don't crave intimacy or connection or love their partners that irritates the crap out of me
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Yuu being a little afraid of being pregnant, but the world of twisted wonderland has much better healthcare and overall treats children better
They're not getting any younger and neither is Lilia, so why not have a baby before they become too old to engage and raise them?
It doesn't take long, between the prescribed gummies from Riddle (their family doctor and old friend) and Lilia's ahem- enthusiasm, they start showing signs 2 months after they popped the question to Lilia
They remember how Lilia literally flew with joy when they told him they're ready. Of course after the initial joy they started discussing how they will go on about this, how Yuu will probably need to go on a vitamin rich diet, start doing pregnant yoga and require daily massages the farther along they get.
However Yuu's pregnancy seems to get harder everyday. A fact so alarming that they bring it up at their next checkup
"well? How's everything?" Lilia asked tentatively
"weeellll...." Riddle began with a sigh as he discarded the gloves " I have some good news and some.... neutral news?"
"neutral news?"
"I'll start with the good news!" He quickly added
"Good news is the baby's healthy! The growth rate is normal and they seem to be doing well"
"and the neutral news???"
Riddle but his bottom lip wincing "Neutral news is... The babies are healthy. Plural. There's 3 in there."
"...what"
Yuu and Lilia's faces were complete opposites. Moving at the same time, Yuu's face pulled into a horrified open mouth look while Lilia couldn't hide his grin. He fixed his expression once he noticed Yuu's horror.
"Luckily, we have magic here that'll make your labour be as easy as blinking, however you'll need to eat more. The reason why you've been exhausted is because you were only eating on account of one baby, sometimes if you're not consciously aware of the fact you're pregnant the body will not experience any additional cravings. In your case, you weren't aware just how pregnant you are"
"I.... How did this even happen- I mean what are the chances????"
"are we happy with this?" Riddle asked, looking only at Yuu with a gaze that told them they're his only priority
Yuu held eye contact and thought about it.
"...Yes. It'll be difficult but I want this"
Riddle smiled at both Yuu and Lilia. After everything, they deserved this.
"Very well then! I advise investing in a pump so that can lessen your load when the babies are born. If you need an extra fridge or an electric kettle please don't hesitate to ask, I know a guy" he says with a wink
Lilia smiled, trying to tone down his excitement "we appreciate your help Dr. Rosehearts"
Riddle scoffs "Oh please we go way back. Consider this my personal 'thank you' for helping me out back then, Yuu"
As they walked from the clinic to the nearest portal Yuu could practically feel the joy radiating from their husband. It was impressive how he managed to keep a hold on them and help them walk rather than outright carrying them and flying away
They decided to break the ice "soooo?"
They hear him him take a deep breath before scream-laughing. It honestly startled them
"I GOT A 3 FOR 1 DEAL!" of course this is how he chose to express his joy
Yuu groaned " anymore of this and I'm telling grim you hid his tuna away"
"aww so mean~ can't an old man be happy?"
"you're a particularly loud old man, and I too am old with a terrible headache so have some sympathy, sir!"
"ah anything goes for my cranky old spouse"
He peppered Yuu's face with kisses before carrying them through the portal
It's a good thing they preemptively bought multiple baby clothes (mostly because Yuu was scared of leaving the baby and Lilia in the kitchen together would lead to unsalvageable tatters)
Bonus:
"Well at least now Silver, Malleus and Sebek won't need to fight about being the favourite older brother"
"let's not kid ourselves batsy, they will still engage in petty competition"
"but we did kid ourselves.... 3 times kfufufu"
"no more cuddles for a week"
"wait no-"
Hello Anonie 🌷💞💚
THERE WAS 3!!! 😆😂 not only was lilia enthusiastic but so was his seed it seems omg 😆
Which makes sense because bats do tend to have more than one at once.
Everyone gets a baby! One for brother mal, one for brother sil, and one for uncle sebek. 🥳🥳
You get a baby and you get a baby and you and you 🤣
Riddle is so sweeettt 😭😭💞💞 I’m so happy. He’s attentive.🥺🥹
…”3 for 1 deal”!!!!! LMFAOO I’m crying 😂
This was adorable. 💚
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UNLEARN MY HURT — s. kiyoomi x gn!reader
sypnonsis: growing up in a home where lashing out was normal, it's weird to have someone be so patient with you as you unlearn all those toxic behaviors
warnings: mentions of fighting, reader never learned how to properly express themselves (me), sakusa is so loving and patient that it's sickening, hurt/comfort-ish??, established relationship, use of petnames (angel)
notes: i want to preface this by saying, i used my own experience with my toxic household so i'm sorry if it doesn't resonate with everybody, i also wrote this at 5 in the morning so if there're mistakes whoopsies, i'll fix them later
something people don't realize, is that sakusa kiyoomi is a patient man.
he's patient with atsumu when he's annoying him, he's patient with hinata and bokuto as their rowdiness becomes too overwhelming for him, and he's patient with himself as he takes deep breaths to avoid snapping.
sakusa kiyoomi is in touch with emotions and is open about how he feels. he seems brooding and closed-off, but he's the last person to hesitate to tell someone how they're making him feel.
sakusa kiyoomi is your polar opposite.
it's hard for you to open up about a lot of things, especially anger. it's hard for you to keep it in check, so you push it down. the more you do it, the worse it becomes. which leads to your small irritation becoming full-fledged rage at the simplest of things.
this is something that rings true tonight as you walk through the door to you and omi's shared apartment, pinching the bridge of your nose with closed eyes as you let out a heavy sigh before you hear kiyoomi emerge from the living room.
"hey," he says softly as his eyes look at your figure up and down (that's something else about kiyoomi, he can read people eerily well), he can almost smell the anger radiating off of you, "...you wanna talk about it?"
he walks over to you and puts a comforting hand on your shoulder that you shrug off almost immediately as you walk to the kitchen, where he follows.
after a few minutes of silence as you get yourself a drink, you turn to kiyoomi with furrowed brows, "why don't you ever get mad at me?"
sakusa blinks a few times in confusion before he furrows his own brows, "...what?" he questions in that same soft tone, "you want me to get mad at you...?"
"no," you say firmly, almost in a sneer, "i said, why don't you ever get mad at me."
truth be told, you were yelling at yourself to shut up and stop while you were ahead. ultimately though, you decided to ignore your better conscience as you continued to attempt to push his buttons.
"i mean, if you shrugged my hand off of your shoulder and ignored me, i'd be fuming," you admitted, your voice slowly getting louder, "i just...don't understand why you never scream, why you never get mad at me and take it out on me as a response."
sakusa took a deep breath before he responded calmly, "because what good would that do us, angel?"
your eyes widen slightly as you look at him, searching your brain for an answer, "because..." you mumble as you trail off in useless thought.
you can't actually think of any reason, you just know that's how your parents dealt with things. pushed them away until it got too much to handle, and then snap at each other almost over nothing.
you look away from him with slight embarrassment as you swallow the lump in your throat as sakusa walks over to you, holding your face between his hands.
"it wouldn't do me any good to yell at you, even if i'm irritated with you," he said, "i just find something else to take it out on, like the volleyball court or taking some time alone. something i can do to process how i'm feeling."
you look up at him as your eyes become glossy, placing your own hands on his where they rest against the side of your face.
"angel, i love you, but pushing down how you're feeling isn't healthy," he says in a comforting tone, "and it also isn't healthy to take it out on someone who hasn't done anything. i know emotions are hard, okay? but i need you to understand that i'm here to help you through them and figure out what works best for you."
you looked up at him and nodded as you blinked, a few tears running down your face in the process that sakusa quickly wiped away.
"so how about we go sit down, and you tell me what's actually wrong, okay?" he asked again in a soft tone, a warm smile tugging at his lips.
you nodded again as you took his hand, sitting down on the couch as you prepared to open up.
he was right, emotions are hard, but having someone as patient as sakusa kiyoomi around makes them a little bit easier.
#love letters from leo#my dearest haikyuu#i need a sakusa in my life tbh#sakusa x reader#sakusa x gn!reader#sakusa fluff#sakusa comfort#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu comfort#hq x reader#hq x gn!reader#hq fluff#hq comfort#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader
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Deep in my ff7 rereads so here are my favourite fandom fics, hands down.
End as you mean to begin <- 130k+ of time travelling cloud parenting the remnants, seeking asylum in a war torn wutai to keep all four of them out of shinras hands while sephiroth is absolutely Going Through It in midgar. Great Genesis characterisation and cloud mothering his way to an international incident. Bonus gender hijinks, hilarious misunderstandings and zack. Unfinished.
The fear of falling stars <- 500k+ and soon to be completed. Cloud and insane!Sephiroth time travel back to their shinra days and I cannot emphasise enough how much cloud is Not Doing Well. Gorgeous wordplay and top tier banter. Utterly unhinged blood enemies to ??? to ?????? to lovers sefikura. It's E rated and probably the tensest I've ever been reading fic lol, it is not lighthearted! But it's incredibly well written and the characters are phenomenal (zack my beloved) so if you've got strong nerves (and like a quarantine pairing) I'd definitely recommend it.
Voice of the gods <- 170k+ of almost idyllic gods and avatars au. Slow, soft and full of world building, it's a lovely relaxing read of cloud getting anointed the envoy of sephiroth, god of war, and slowly growing into his role and joining the ranks of envoy. Lots of side characters take larger roles here, and sephiroth himself is a darling without losing his sharpest edges. Unfinished.
I CAN FIX HIM (series) <- possibly my favourite sephiroth characterisations ever. 130k and growing of pure shaking this man like a doll in a perfect mix of almost delirious crack and gutting angst (often both at once!). Very good writing, every single funny moment hits like a truck and keeps building until you're choking with laughter. Bonus points to ROADTRIP! for being utterly, utterly insane. I cannot emphasise enough just how GOOD every single character and their dynamics are written.
Just anything ff7 written by AimeeLouWrites, if you've been in this fandom for any length of time you'll have heard of her. Great concepts, great executions and aus for DAYS.
Five hearts to make him whole <- 130k+ of time/dimension travelling cloud getting sent to a world of soulmates - and his alternate self bagged all four soldier firsts. Alternate cloud also died violently a few years ago and boy did those soulmates (not) take it well. Our cloud, of course, was not read in on any of this. Shout out to the emotional support chocobo! Unfinished?
Shall I find rest <- another soulmate agszc (?) dimension cross but this one is 100k+ of post AC cloud and Tifa waking up and deciding to make it everyone else's problem. They're so done with all the drama. Bamf nibel duo to the end and Tifa is the mvp. Unfinished.
Advanced release <- 250k+ and it's sephiroth receiving the original game in a strange packet that appeared in his room. It spirals into a messy and painful exposure of conspiracy, lies and inevitable tragedy. Video game logic is a running gag and zack remains the only actually stable person in the whole sorry mess but he's also Having a Terrible Experience. Really well written!!! Unfinished.
On broken wings <- 160k+ of pure post AC sephiroth redemption from his pov. Him struggling to find his place in a new world and experience real human connection evolves into MOOGLE EMBASSY need I say more?? Unfinished.
With Great Power Comes Meddling Fucking Gods <- 470k+! Poly WEAPON cloud gets yoinked back to the past (feat agzs), dies for a few days and misses his family SO bad but he is determined to change the future for the better. Probably the most healthy and mature cloud ever lol. Unfortunately for him, insane!sephiroth is pulling a inner hollow and gaia herself isn't talking. If you like symbolism, whoo boy!! The dream sequences are a DOOZY (and drowning in eroticism). Wonderfully written, the divide between sane!sephiroth and his counterpart is really cool to see. E rated at times but it's absolutely DELIGHTFUL and WEAPON cloud is such a treat. And I cannot emphasise enough the symbolism. Zackkura (kinda) and slow burn! Unfinished.
A brand need not be seen <- 180k+ in a world of soulmates where the four firsts have clouds name on their wrists. Trooper cloud is tentatively, desperately hopeful. Then a smoking hot op af adult cloud appears, with no names on his wrists at all. It's a really cute flirty fic despite covering shinra politics, identity crises, huge self worth issues, lots of trauma, and finding your own place in the world. Unfinished.
Memory's struggle <- 250k+ of cascading time travel. Basically everyone goes back, which goes great XD. Everyone... Except cloud. I read this a while ago but I do remember poor cloud just getting loved and spoiled by literally everyone and freaking out about it lmao. He was so confused! Unfinished.
Additional edit:
A solitude of space <- a wonderfully soothing 90k complete of sephiroth getting resurrected and moving to stardew valley to become the farmer. It's sooooo peaceful and following him as he grows into his own person and experiences real normality and community is lovely, if a touch angsty. Eventual sefikura with cloud moving to the farm when he's not doing deliveries. It's just. Really nice. I think I cried at the end. Finished!
One-Winged Angel's Self-Saving System <- 55k+ sephiroth enters the Chinese fantasy Scum Villain world in place of the scum villain himself! (He's the third person to take on that role, but who's counting?) Reborn into a plant body he's set loose on an unsuspecting world with a completely different magic system (sentient swords! Immortality!), with only the guide of a mysterious hallucinated ai. Freedom to make his own choices! Aroallo seph rep! He messes up the plot so bad, recruiting accidental love interests with kill counts and resurrecting long lost immortals. It can get a bit heavy but it's really fun and sephiroth has no intention of ever going back. Unfinished.
The SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun <- 73k+ of the opposite of the last fic: the scum villain (the 2nd) gets isekai'd into sephiroth! Shen qingqiu, aka the modern world native shen yuan, fails to resurrect into his prepared plant body and wakes up in a new fictional world, once again as the villain. With his limited memory of the games and his immense knowledge of cultivation (scum villains magic system) he tries to get a grasp on his new life while evading hojo, the president, his new subordinates and the war front while cultivating to immortality - something shinra is VERY interested in. When I tell you these two fics have a GRIP on me. I've written so many fic ideas around them. It's actually insane. The first thing he does is completely redecorate his rooms and buy a whole new wardrobe, which is totally not suspicious XD. Unfinished.
The fifth act <- 160k, it's a good ol' time travel fic - with a twist. The truest exploration of ripples in a pond, or how kindness, when true, can be returned in most unexpected ways. Or maybe how a single act of good can change the world.... Or maybe it's about how you must never turn your back on an enemy. Cloud has people to save and people to kill, and only time will tell which is which. Complete.
Of Things That May Be Only 'Verse <- another series! At 250k, it's about sephiroth resurrecting, only to, uh, slip and crack his head lol. This sends him spiralling through a vision of a cosy life he'd never dreamed, and when he wakes up? He wants it so bad. But that means behaving. Slow burn sefikura redemption, side Cid/Vincent (vincid?) which ngl did convince me of the ship, domestic fluffiness and found family galore! And the whole series is complete!!
Little seph <- a 160k series about the AC sephiroth revival going wrong. Stuck in the body of a kid, post AC sephiroth is a feral kitten carefully domesticated with the power of pancakes, wing preening, and deeply uncomfortable sleepovers. He's a brat, a pest, a murder machine, but he just wants to be part of a family even if he pretends he doesn't. Eventual sefikura, and overall just a very good read. Fully complete!
We are no heroes <- 70k series, about a secretly time travelled sephiroth desperately trying to save his friends and finally, maybe, rest. When I tell you this had me SOBBING. I was BAWLING. Extremely good, zack is best boy. This man is just so tired. Beautiful descriptions. And, again, complete! Yay!
#ff7#ffvii#I love all these fics and there's more where that came from lmao#Why does fic reccing take so long this took me two HOURS ToT#I'm so tired orz#People who only tag for complete miss out on SO much good stuff it's unreal#fic recs#fic rec#Ff7 fic recs#sephiroth#cloud strife#sefikura#Zackura#Yes they're all 100k+ I love short stuff but long fic is a different experience
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Vaggie: "Sweetie, today I'm gonna show you the soothing power of... the mutual grapple and scream."
Charlie: "The what and what?"
Vaggie: "We can also call it the grab and yell."
Charlie: "Somehow that doesn't sound any more soothing."
Vaggie: "Trust me it'll be great."
Charlie: "I trust you... not your idea of what's mentally healthy or good all the time, but I do trust YOU."
Vaggie: "That works. So first, we start by standing and facing each other."
Charlie: "Okay!"
Vaggie: "Without getting lost in each other's eyes."
Charlie: "I'll try."
Vaggie: "Now- put your hands behind my neck and lace your fingers together."
Charlie: "Ohh~ Okay~~~"
Vaggie: "We're not gonna kiss, Charlie."
Charlie: "No?
Vaggie: "No."
Charlie: "I'm already not a huge fan of this maneuver thing."
Vaggie: "It gets better I promise. I'm gonna lock may arms around yours and get my hands behind your neck too-"
Charlie: "Are you SURE we can't kiss???"
Vaggie: "-and we're both gonna pull down, dragging each other into this headbutt. Got it?"
Charlie: "Got it." (pouts)
Vaggie: "What? Not comfortable?"
Charlie: "Perfectly comfy, but we're basically kissing already. I don't see how it'd ruin anything."
Vaggie: "How are we basically kissing."
Charlie: "Our cheeks are almost touching."
Vaggie: "Babe. Focus."
Charlie: "I'm trying but your pretty face is making it hard!"
Vaggie: "..I hate that we're friends with Angel Dust. I hate knowing what dumb jokes he'd crack about that."
Charlie: "Making me think of sex jokes just makes this harder!"
Vaggie: "I didn't say they'd be-"
Charlie: "It's Angel Dust of COURSE they'd be sex jokes!!!"
Vaggie: "Well we're not doing that either."
Charlie: "ARGH."
Vaggie: "Alright, you feel that rage? We're gonna channel that in a momment. So take a deep breath..."
Charlie: "EeeeeEEEEYUP-"
Vaggie: "And when you're ready...."
Charlie: "?"
Vaggie: "Scream."
Charlie: "-pWAHT? Right in your FACE?"
Vaggie: "I'll scream too. We're gonna be screaming buddies."
Charlie: "This helps with stress... how."
Vaggie: "Don't you ever just wanna go apeshit?"
Charlie: "No!"
Charlie: "...."
Charlie: "Not at YOU!!!"
Vaggie: "It's not at me, it's with me."
Charlie: "I don't know, Vaggie..."
Vaggie: "Think of it like- kinda like singing. Only you're only doing it for yourself."
Charlie: "I DO sing just for myself!"
Vaggie: "And you still try to make it sound good and happy even when you don't have to and aren't feeling it. I know."
Charlie: "Well what makes screaming any better? It's almost always an angry or scared or upset sound, we hear it all day long down here and it's not fun!"
Vaggie: "People also scream when they're excited."
Charlie: "I get the feeling you want this to be an angry yell."
Vaggie: "A good angry. Yelling can feel REALLY good, babe, and doesn't have to hurt anyone."
Charlie: "Hmm."
Vaggie: "And, again, it'd make me very happy.
Charlie: "...I guess we can try it..."
Charlie: "IF I get a kiss right afterwards!"
Vaggie: "Yell and kiss? Never done that before."
Charlie: "What about when we-"
Vaggie: "Outside of bed and stuff, I mean. Ready?"
Charlie: "Deep breath and scream on three! ONE!" (deep breath)
Vaggie: "Two." (also deep breath)
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "...."
Chaggie: "......"
Chaggie: (bursts out laughing instead)
Charlie: "PFHAHA THAT WAS YOUR FAULT! You- you made a weird face at me!"
Vaggie: "I made a weird face because you made a weird face."
Charlie: "It was a glare!"
Vaggie: "How was that a glare?"
Charlie: "Because I was glaring!!"
Vaggie: "You were pouting at my lips with your cheeks puffed up."
Charlie: "I was TRYING to channel my rage at not kissing you into a good BIG angry yell!"
Vaggie: "Maybe you should channel it into a good gay kiss instead."
Charlie: "It's harder than it looks, okay! I- oh."
Charlie: "..."
Charlie: "Now THAT I can do."
#hazbin hotel#chaggie#charlie morningstar#vaggie#incorrect quotes#the idiots are trying to do mental health together#alas#it is bi no means an easy thing#they have to work hard les they get distracted#GAY
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I have a concept in my head of season 3 of OFMD being like...Ed needs to learn to be bad at things, and Stede needs to get used to being good at things.
It's going to be a huge adjustment for Ed, I think. He is so accustomed to this sort of massive success where he must be hyper-competent at absolutely everything that the learning curve is going to hit him hard. He's going to have crying breakdowns because he didn't manage to properly seal the roof on his first try. He's going to realize that it was maybe a bit ambitious to decide he wanted his first ever woodworking project to be intricately carving designs into the baseboard. He's going to have to learn that it's okay not to have an angle, and he's safe to just go out and fish not because he Needs that to be something he's Amazing at, literally life-or-death stakes, but just because it's something he enjoys.
And Stede. Oh boy. Stede is so used to being seen as a failure that it's integral to his self-perception, and at this point he's just accepted that Stede Bonnet Is A Failure. In some ways, this is actually going to help - Stede's used to trying, fucking up, and then trying again better. He's used to having to improvise and think on the go. In that way, he's a perfect fit for Ed's struggles, because he'll tackle all those little homemaking tasks with unfettered enthusiasm and a willingness to try and fail until he gets it right.
But because Stede is so convinced that he's a fuckup, he tends to just passively accept blame for everything. He won't even defend himself. Ed in s2 is already getting so much better about being able to put his fears and worries on the table, and if Stede is just blaming himself for everything, it's going to quickly become very one-sided. Ed's had a lot more growth here than Stede has, and getting feelings out of Stede will be like pulling teeth. I can easily see Ed starting to worry that Stede just isn't listening to him, and getting annoyed when Stede clearly doesn't like the furniture they picked for the living room even though he said it was fine. Stede's going to just roll over on most domestic squabbles and spats because he just assumes that Ed's right and he's wrong, and eventually Ed's going to catch on and worry that Stede just doesn't want to talk with him and compromise. When Stede just accepts full blame for things and assumes he's entirely at fault, it also means he's denying Ed needed explanations for why he did or said certain things.
I can so easily see the main challenge of the season being that Ed is ready to get married, he's excited to make this commitment, he knows they're it for each other and he wants this. Their wedding was super clearly foreshadowed, it's something Ed clearly wants very deeply. But Stede's first marriage was such a disaster, and he felt like a failure of a husband, and he's going to be terrified of that happening again. And that's just going to build and build until something gives and Stede realizes that he's hurting Ed by just assuming ahead of time that Stede is going to be a failure of a husband to him.
Just...Ed getting to learn that he's okay to not be perfect at everything he does, and the world won't fall apart around him. Stede slowly starting to see that he's genuinely not fundamentally a fuck-up, and he needs to have a little faith in himself for his relationship with Ed to be healthy. And both of them getting to be secure in knowing that they've got the other right there with them for support the whole way.
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