#i mean really the shows are so thematically different that the structural similarities are just amusing to me

[bagheerita]

A few years ago I made a post comparing DS9 to SGA in the greater schema of the star trek/gate universes' developments, as it's based in a sort of city in the middle of nowhere but next to/containing a Very Important Portal, and there's those one eyebrowless aliens that everybody hates and we're very Invested in them not controlling this area of space anymore.

But then they introduce a new antagonist. This is season 3 stuff, we're really upping our game. Of course there's that one group of rebellious locals who just want to steal your tech and start wars they can't finish, but I'm talking a real new bad guy... the bad guy... who can steal your face and look like anyone.

Not that the Asurans and the Founders really have that much in common, but like... is aliens who can impersonate anyone just the next conceptual step? This comparison started out as a joke, but is there something here???

[tirralirralirra]

something I love about having read/watched frieren and dungeon meshi concurrently is getting to see that, despite their similar broad genres (fantasy, DND-esque settings, failure op elf girls /lh), they are two very distinct stories that ultimately achieve the same* thematic goal through different narrative means.

like you have frieren's contemplative, almost slice-of-life style storytelling that focuses on how the connections between people make an impact, and how it's beautiful to cherish the memories of those we love, even the small ones (especially the small ones), and that being alive is so, so beautiful because of those things. Then juxtaposing this with the overall narrative of a literal journey to a land beyond in order to meet with the dead, while not losing focus on those that are alive. Frieren as a story takes time to explore the small things that make life beautiful (fields of flowers, the beauty and not the power of magic, stargazing and sunsets with your friends).

and then you have dunmeshi's tight narrative arcs that are built around urgency (saving falin, first from digestion, then from...chimera-ization), but also continually return to the same concept as a core tenet to both the literal narrative structure around meals and the overall story: to eat is a privilege of the living. That there is joy to be found in eating because it means you are alive, that you survived. That taking time to take care of yourself is honoring your life. That death is a part of life through the acts of killing monsters to eat, and that the dungeon's condition where a soul remains tethered to the body is unnatural.

For that last bit, I love how we're just introduced to the concept in the beginning as a bit of world building, something you might just take at face value of, "oh, I guess this is how this works in this story", and over the course of the story the characters start to interrogate that reality, culminating in Marcille's realization at the end that they took death for granted because of the dungeon's condition:

[ID: Manga panel of Marcille looking down in thought and saying "Look, this might sound a little weird, but...I think the entire point of this journey we went on....was learning how to accept death.]

(Panel is from the ehscans version, will update with official eng when the final volume releases)

I also love that the story takes the time to say, look, you can be in a hurry, but you still need to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, What will you achieve in the service of yourself or others if you don't take care of the most basic qualities to survive first? The most recent episode is a good example of that with the focus on shuro vs. laios, and then there's this reinforcement of the idea by the end:

[ID: Dungeon meshi manga page showing Laios, Chilchuck, and Senshi shouting "A balanced diet!!" "R-regulating our daily rhythms!!" "And moderate exercise!!" respectively, followed by the three in various poses in front of the word "VICTORY" and Laios saying "If we watch these three points...we'll naturally work our way to strong bodies!!"]

Anyways this is all very disorganized and I have other things I need to do and I could write a more cohesive, actually organized thought piece on all of this with like, coherent points, but I don't really like to delve into literary analysis on my fandom account. it just lives in my head, rent free. thank you for coming to my ted talk tumblr. don't expect to see more of this, lol.

*I say same goal, which is not to say the only goal. stories can have more than one theme, it's ok if you disagree with me on this, but please bear in mind that I'm speaking very, very broadly.

[aspoonofsugar]

hey! Good day :) here to ask a question!! I was wondering about your process for analysis, character analysis, theme analysis- do you just write or are there specific things you look for? I suppose I’m curious if you have an idea/general gist of what you’re doing or steps you take to do your breakdowns. I’m trying to do something similar out of interest and your works are simply fascinating to read. I look up to your writing a lot!

hello!! Can I ask how you started analysing shows, how you went about it? I’m learning literary analysis and trying to do the same for hunter x hunter but I find it infinitely harder to analyse shows. Especially since I most notably consider diction in literary analysis lol

Hi!

Thank you for your nice words anon(s) and yay! I love meta-asks <3<3<3

So, it depends on the meta. In general, I try to focus on a specific topic, which can be:

a character (arc + foiling between characters)

a theme

the use of a specific motif, when it comes to a character or a theme

These are my three favourite kinds of analyses, but there are other types, as well. For example, some people are really into plot theories/predictions. Others prefer to focus on characters from a psychological viewpoint. Some other writers like to use philosophical lens or to compare different works. It really depends on your preference.

My preference is mostly for thematic analyses. This means that my character metas too tend to use a thematic lens. So...

WHAT IS THE THEME?

In short, the theme of a story is both:

the topic the story is exploring

the moral of the story, aka a phrase which summarizes its message

Stories explores topics through characters and plot, while the way the conflict is solved tells us the moral.

Some examples:

RWBY's main topic is humanity in both its weakness and strength and its moral is that victory is in a simple soul

Madoka's main topic is wishes and its moral is that it is worth to want things and to fight for them, even if it is painful

HXH is strange structurally, but its main topic is self-search, with its moral being that a person should not focus on the goal, but enjoy the journey

All of these messages and ideas aren't just things stated in dialogues (even if someone saying the theme helps). They emerge from the story itself.

RWBY's main conflict is about a destroyed world (remnant) surviving the anger of an evil witch (Salem). If humans let hate divide them, they lose. If they unite, they win. The main thematic question is then... can humans make the right choice? And the answer is that they can, as long as they remain simple souls (Ruby, but also Pyrrha at Beacon, Blake in Managerie, Yang in Mistral, Weiss with her family, JNR when they tag along and Penny in Atlas). The main message is that several people making the right choice leads to change. And that is humanity. This is why the characters keep being asked to give up their idealism and to embrace a more utilitarian way of doing things. And this is why every time they refuse and stick to their idealism. The conflict itself keeps testing their resolution.

Madoka's power system works through wishes, so the girls' powers and their backstories are all defined by their wishes and by how they relate to them. Madoka doesn't know what she wants. Homura's wish turns into an obsession. Mami makes a wish too early and thinks only about herself. Kyouko and Sayaka make a wish for someone else and have opposite reactions to their wishes ending poorly. Finally, it is revealed the girls' wishes are literally the force that keeps the world at balance. So, the plot, character arcs, conflict and worldbuilding are all about wishes.

HXH is made up of several arcs and each arc has its own theme. That said, the overall structure conveys the main theme. Gon's objective is to find Ging, but he keeps taking detours and getting engulfed in unrelated conflicts. However, the moment he meets Ging he realizes it is not his father who defines him, but rather it is all the people he met in his journey and his own experiences. Basically, HXH's strange structure conveys the main theme.

So, the theme (both topic and moral) should emerge by the characters, the worldbuilding, the conflict and sometimes even by the structure itself. In order to find it, one should start with the topic and ask themselves "What does the story really talk about?". The answer to this question will let you understand the theme as topic. The second step is to see how the story explores it.

DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW ON THE TOPIC

There are different ways a story can explore a topic. Still, the best stories have different perspectives clash with each other. Very often these different points of view are embodied by different characters.

Here are some examples, with some linked metas that explore the respective stories more in depth.

Madoka (topic= wishes):

Homura is determined to fulfill her wish no matter what

Kyubey is her opposite, as they are unable to wish since they lack feelings. This is why they need to recruit girls into creating energy through wishes

Madoka is in the middle, as she wants to wish for something, but doesn't know what

Mami, Kyouko and Sayaka all explore negative effects linked to wishes, which are connected to other secondary themes. Specifically, Mami explores the consequences of an immature wish, while Sayaka and Kyouko explore the selfishness/selflessness inherent in wishes

The conflict is solved through Madoka learning about the price of wishes, but still choosing to make a wish and to sacrifice her whole self for it. This ending conveys a specific moral: despite the pain and sacrifice that comes with them, wishes are still beautiful and worth it all. If Madoka had chosen to give up being a magical girl and had ended up the series without making a wish, the moral would have been the opposite: that a normal life is better than grandiose and dangerous dreams.

Monster (topic = the value of life)

Tenma believes that all lives are equal, which is why he chooses to save Johan as a child, despite being ordered to operate a far more influential patient.

Eva and Nina believe that not all lives are equal. In particular, Eva thinks that social status and importance in society influence the value of one's life. Nina instead believes that people who commit crime should be punished and lose their lives.

Johan believes no-life has value, including his own. In his words, the only thing all humans are equal in is death.

Here, the moral is conveyed through the Tenma/Nina vs Johan's conflict. Tenma is tested in his beliefs, but ultimately does not abandon them and ends the story by saving Johan. Nina instead is asked to change her mind, as she ends the story embracing Tenma's point of view.

RWBY - The Atlas Arc (topic = trust)

Ozpin lacks trust, as he is unable to trust others, no matter how loyal or dedicated to his cause they are

Ruby wants to "trust safely". She wants others, like Ironwood, to prove themselves to her before disclosing the truth to them

Ironwood is initially on Ruby's same page, but he spirals and comes to embody the "enemy of trust" aka control. He doesn't trust others, but wants to control them.

Oscar embodies trust, as he wants to trust Ironwood since the beginning. Even later on, he keeps on trusting people like Hazel and Emerald who are his enemies.

Cinder embodies another "enemy of trust", aka manipulation. She doesn't need to trust others to work with them, as she can use their feelings and wishes against them.

Penny embodies faith, which is a more extreme form of trust. She sacrifices herself and leaves the maiden power to Winter. She has no proof Winter will be able to save Weiss, Jaune or the relic, but she entrusts the future to her.

All these characters struggle with trust and its dangers. Some, like Ozpin, Ironwood and Cinder decide that trusting is too dangerous. Others, like Ruby, Penny and Oscar realize that to trust is the only way to move forward. Moreover, they learn there is not way to trust safely. As a matter of fact the moral of the arc is that "trust is a risk" and risks mean that things can end up badly. Still, not to take risk means to give up hope.

Hazbin Hotel - You didn't know song (topic= knowledge)

This song explores the idea of knowlege. The characters are after all in the middle of a questioning, which leads to several secrets coming out. Moreover, throughout it all the characters either admit or realize how ignorant they all are. The way they deal with this lack of knowledge establishes different thematic stances.

Charlie and Emily are both naive and ignore the darkest sides of their loved ones. Charlie doesn't know Vaggie used to be an exorcist and Emily has no idea Sera ordered the exterminations. Still, their answer to ignorance is to keep on questioning. They have no idea why only certain souls are admitted in heaven. Still, they think it is important to investigate the phenomenon and use it as evidence that there might be hope for the spirits in hell.

Lute and Adam don't know why some spirits end up in hell and others in heaven. Still, they do not bother to question it. So, Adam is caught by surprise by Charlie's question and has to improvise an answer. Not only that, but even later on the duo insist that Angel not being in Heaven proves he is unholy. And that's it.

Sera does know about the extermination, as she knows the system is unfair. Still, she refuses to question it and forbids others to do the same. She is the only one whose sin isn't ignornace, but knowledge.

There is no a clear thematic resolution to the question posed by the song. This is because the series is not over yet. However, the scene sets up the theme and the way characters will deal with it in later seasons will give us the moral.

As you can see, not only whole stories (like Madoka, or Monster) have themes, but also arcs (RWBY) and even episodes or scenes (Hazbin Hotel). That said, the way to go at it is always the same. Pintpoint the main topic and start investigate how the characters or the worldbuilding deal with it. You are gonna get several stances. The one which emeges victorious is the moral.

Let's highlight that the moral is not always embodied by the protagonist. For example, in the Madoka and RWBY's examples, Madoka and Ruby are initially at a loss and come to learn the moral by the end of the story (for Madoka) and arc (for Ruby). Similarly, Tenma initially does believe the moral, but doubts it throughout the story, only to be reminded and helped by other characters (like Nina).

In any case, the way the protagonist and characters in general relate to the main theme and to secondary themes is key for their arcs.

CHARACTERS AND THEME

When it comes to theme a character can either:

Believe the moral since the beginning

Not believe the moral since the beginning

In the first case, the character either stops believing the moral by the end (negative arc) or keeps believing the moral until the end (positive arc). In the second case, the character either learns the moral (positive arc) or doesn't learn the moral (negative arc).

In short, the story keeps challenging the character on their beliefs and they must either stick to their point of view or change it, depending if they believe in the moral since the beginning or not.

Exhibit A:

Charlie's belief that sinners can be redeemed is right. Still, in the beginning nobody else agrees with her, so she is challenged by the world around her. Her objective is not to lose faith in the Hazbin Hotel and to inspire others to change their mind too. Throughout her journey, she is bound to grow too. She starts as sheltered and naive with a simplistic idea of what redemption is. By the end, she will gain a deeper understanding of redempion and will grow as a result.

Exhibit B:

Eren's journey is about realizing what freedom (the main topic) is about. The problem is that he fixates himself on the idea that freedom means no boundaries, either natural nor humans. This leads him to embrace destruction and nihilism and to lose himself. In the end, the character who realizes what freedom truly is is Mikasa. She doesn't discard her bond with Eren, but is still able to make independent choices and to live as herself. In short, Eren doesn't learn the moral, hence why he spirals instead of growing.

Charlie is a protagonist who knows the moral and will grow with it in a positive arc. Eren is a protagonist who doesn't know the moral and never learns it. This is why he has a tragic negative arc.

These are just two examples, but there can be different combinations. By interrogating yourself on how characters relate to a theme, you get better a better understanding of their role in the story and of their overall arcs.

Still, how to find themes in a story? Luckily, each text is full of hints that are there for us to interpret them.

MOTIFS

Motifs are repetitive details within a story, which are used to communicate themes.

Anything can be a motif: a line, a musical tune, a specific imagery, an object. By repeating them in key moments throughout a narrative, they become symbols, which means they can lead to bigger metaphors and convey specific meanings.

In the song More Than Anything, dream is one of the main topics. We realize it because the characters keep mentioning it. At the same time, light keeps popping up. Lucifer summons light and throws it away, Charlie rememebrs a light show Lucifer imrpovised for her. Lucifer and Charlie start the song in the shadow and they end it in the light. This means that "light" is a motif throughout the song and by seeing how it is used we better understand the theme and the relationship between the two characters. We understand that light is a metaphor for dreams. Lucifer gives up on it, Charlie is inspired by it and eventually Lucifer summons it back as he has decided to believe in Charlie's dream. By looking at the way light is used, we can see that Charlie teaches Lucifer the moral that it is worth it to fight for dreams and not to give up on them.

In the CAA of HXH, gungi is a motif that comments both the topic of humanity and Meruem and Komugi's relationship. Their matches become a metaphor of monstrosity vs humanity, as humanity slowly conquers Meruem to the point he himself chooses to live and die as a human, rather than the King of the Ants. Similarly, Kokoriko symbolically becomes Komugi and Meruem's child, in the sense they give birth to this move and evolve the game.

Sometimes, their meaning is unique to the story. For example, gungi is a motif that makes sense within HxH and can't be brought outside of the series, as it is not a real world game. It only exists in that universe. Some other times, a motif can tie to bigger sets of symbols. For example, light and shadow are universal symbols that bring with them several additional meanings:

Good and Evil

The Jungian persona shadow

In the Hazbin Hotel song the first dychotomy doesn't fit, while the second one does. Initially both Lucifer and Charlie hide things from each other (shadow), whereas by the end they show who they are (light).

In short, to analyze a story, you should find its key motifs. They are hints to better understand the theme and the characters. Different stories will use different motifs and tie them to different wider sets of symbols. To find the right ones can help a lot in better understanding a story, as a whole.

Some examples:

RWBY uses fairy tales and alchemy as its main motif, so these two sets of symbols are the most useful to analyze the series

HxH is a shonen and uses its powers and fights to convey character arcs and themes, so to analyze one's nen abilities helps a lot

Hazbin Hotel is a musical series that takes inspiration from religion and mythology. So, it is probable that the best understanding of it will come from analyzing its songs and from looking into its religion inspiration

Of course this doesn't mean you should only use one motif to analyze a story. For example, you can use RWBY's semblances to look into the characters, as well. And there are some fairy tale allusions in Hazbin too. In the end, it is about using what best helps you understand a story as a whole.

What is more, there are general sets of symbols that can be useful in most stories, such as jungian archetypes. Finally, you might want to start from other aspects of the story itself, rather than theme or characters or plot. For example, you might be drawn to the world-building and realize it is used in a special way to explore the theme. Or you might be curious about character designs and see that they have their own symbolism (for example, I believe RWBY ones do and probably Hazbin Hotel ones, as well).

SOME PRACTICAL ADVICE

I have linked in the title of each paragraph, but this last one an article by @septembercfawkes. Her posts are great to better understand narrative structure and I found them enlightening.

I think the best thing you can do is to start with focused metas. Choose a scene, a character, a motif that intrigues you and start exploring it. It is better to start small and to narrow your focus, it would be easier to organize your article.

I usually outline the contents of the meta before starting to write it. Still, it sometimes changes as I keep writing.

It can be useful to write at the beginning of your analysis what you are gonna do. It will help you remember what the point of the meta is. For example, in my RWBY allusion meta or HxH nen meta, I always start with the motif I am analyzing. I summarize the fairy tale (even if many people know it already) and I explain what the character's ability is about. It helps organizing the flow and the contents.

The more you analyze the better you become at it, so it is just a matter of starting :)

Thank you for the asks, I hope this was helpful and not too much confusing!

Have a nice day!

[pynkhues]

I don’t know if you’ve seen the cut lines from the S4 script yet (where Stewy references some semi-ominous sounding games he remembers from when he and Kendall were growing up like Punch-Chess and Dinners for Winners) but this kind of made me think back on the games throughline (motif?) with Logan. We get to see how insane Boar on the Floor was in real time and we’ve gotten a pretty good sense throughout the series that Logan has a penchant for framing violence through the lens of games (not dishonestly might I add – I think there’s a reasonable read of Logan whereby he himself doesn’t view his games as a means for violence at all but just as tools or in some cases, truly just games).  

Recently I’ve seen some discussion that kind of lumps together games the kids played (Bitey, Dog Pound) with Logan’s games (Boar on the Floor, Dinners for Winners) and that struck me as kind of odd. Rightly or wrongly, I’ve been mentally distinguishing between the games the siblings play with each other as different from the games Logan concocts. It might just be me, but Bitey and Dog Pound read to me as within the realm of reasonable kids games (noting that a ton of kids play kind of insane games lol). I also just feel like the power structure is…different when it’s just the siblings? Does that make sense? Whereas when Logan invests games for his kids, there’s something more…uneven and off-kilter about it to me. Idk – do you think they’re all part of the same motif or that there’s some level of distinction?  Maybe I just to think about it more haha – I guess this is a super long round-about way of asking: how do you view the use of games (“games”?) within the context of the show?

Oh, yeah, I totally agree that the games the kids play with each other are very different from the games that Logan concocts, anon, but I’m not surprised to hear that people consider them in the same sort of discourse. After all, the games that the kids play with each other, now that they’re all adults, are viewed through the prism of the power dynamics in the current family unit.

In other words, even games that are on paper the sort that any kid plays (Dog Pound being a good example – my five and seven year old nephews actually play a pretty similar game at the moment called Puppy and Person, although I think their game involves more patting and cuddling than Roman and Kendall’s probably did, haha), because we’re encountering it with Kendall and Roman in their late-thirties and through the lens of undealt with sibling resentments and adult competition, they can be mistaken for the same sorts of games that Logan played / still plays with the kids.

In that sense, I think the clearest point of distinction is the fact that Logan is never really a player in the games, he’s the overseer of them – the judge, jury and executioner – and we’ve seen that twice. The first time with the baseball game in the pilot, and the second, of course, with Boar on the Floor. Interestingly, the only time we’ve actually seen him participate in a game as a player was in I Went Shopping in the Thanksgiving episode back in S1, and well, we all know how that ended.

Games are integral to the show, and it’s interesting because I don’t think they have any one particular meaning. I think the writers like them as a shorthand to convey certain themes and relationship dynamics, I think they’re an efficient and compelling way to move plot forwards, and I think the writers like to use them to trojan horse the history of abuse within the Roy family, which is exactly what that new excerpt from the script of 4.04 demonstrates.

Critically though, I also think they’re significant thematically in depicting both childhood and masculinity, and I think that’s really where the distinction comes in when it comes to the games the kids play together (yes, even Dog Pound, as much as that game [and Kendall] wants to pretend to be about masculinity, I personally don't think it is at all), and the ones Logan does.

So, let’s talk about childhood.

Games are integral to childhood, there’s no getting around that. Games are what teach children social skills and curiosity, strategy and the ability to both win and to lose, which is, of course, also the skill to enjoy success and sometimes embrace failure too. One of my current jobs is in a company that does play-based theatre for children, with a special focus on traumatised children, so I could talk a lot about this and the evidence behind it, and how crucial games are in empowering children and helping them develop agency away from the family unit, but that’s kind of where this story stops, because while games should help children to grow into playful, empathetic and inquisitive adults, the Roy children do not play games with outsiders.

The Roy children have lived in a completely insular world – a playground their father has built them, as Marcia so aptly put it – and so these games don’t evolve. Instead, these games like Bitey and Dog Pound and even Kendall’s LEGO become manifestations of current anxieties, insecurities and resentments, and an encapsulation of Shiv, Roman and Kendall’s arrested development.

(Maybe interestingly, I consider Connor slightly less arrested than his little siblings, and I do think a part of that is from his parentification, but also a proxy result of effectively having been raised in those formative childhood years as an only child, especially if he was, as Alan Ruck has said, about fifteen when Kendall was born).

Of course, Logan encourages this.

Logan’s inability to face his own mortality or seal off his own legacy requires him to keep his children, well, children. He needs them under his thumb, sure, but he also, I think, needs to keep them young so that he can feel young. Needs the promise of his own future reflected in the length of their own, and his frequent infantilisation of all four of them is a part of what keeps them regressed and reading meaning into games they played and places they lived when they were too young to know any better.

Let’s talk about masculinity.

Funnily enough, I actually talked a little about this in the context of Tom and Greg back when s3 was airing here, but a few years ago, I read Anna Krien’s Night Games which is one of my favourite non-fiction books of the last decade.

The book itself is about masculinity, sport and sexual assault, in particular patterns of gang rape by teams in Australian football and cricket, but she goes a lot broader in terms of games and male intimacy, and in particular how team sports give men a sense of community which, as a result of toxic masculinity, is generally reinforced by ‘othering’ outsiders of the team / environment, whether that be players on the opposite team, perceived interlopers, women, or even members of their own team who don’t participate in the right way with the group.

I don’t know if any of the writers would’ve read Night Games (it’s an Australian sports journalism book after all, haha), but I think they do understand deeply the way masculinity operates in these circles and the ways games of any sort can be utilised as a shorthand to exert power and solidify connection. Boar on the Floor is, of course, the clearest example of this, where Logan utilises the context of the game to dig out his betrayers, and while the first round has everyone as an unwilling participant, once a smaller group of 'others' are picked in Tom, Greg and Karl, the safety of being on the right team makes everyone becomes complicit in the second round.

This is something Logan’s a master of and what he does routinely with his children in general, but also in the rules of the games Stewy talks about in the 4.04 script. Those games are about the othering of a person and the increased intimacy of the rest of the team. If Dinners for Winners has the loser acting like the help, the winners are the rest of the family celebrating their renewed bond as, well, winners.

I don’t think the kids are immune from this in their own behaviour. In fact, I think the biggest examples we see of the kids engaging in this particular type of game play is in Roman’s treatment of the child during the baseball game in the pilot (and I actually am reading the scripts [albeit very slowly, haha] at the moment and read 2.01 last night and was pretty fascinated to discover that the boy’s father is one of the landscapers at The Summer Palace), and in the sequence throwing back to Kendall’s bachelor party with the tattooing of the homeless man’s head with Kendall’s initials.

These aren’t complete games, and interestingly they don’t create the same sense of shared compliance and group intimacy in the way Logan’s games do – no one’s fully on board with Roman’s behaviour, and Roman betrays the group bond in terms of Kendall’s bachelor party by telling Gerri and trying to use it against Kendall – but I view that as more a reflection of Roman and Kendall’s failures in masculinity and authority than in anything else.

It’s that failure there though which, in many ways, further separates the games Logan plays with them to the games they play together. Roman and Kendall continue to fail to imitate their father in his particular brand of games, because Logan knows how to divide and conquer, which they simply don't.

That also though is a direct contrast to the games the kids play together, because those games, whether they be Bitey or Monopoly or even Dog Pound, those games are about shared connection. After all, Kendall wasn't the one who sent Roman away, Kendall was just playing a game with his brother, no matter what they both have inferred in it over time.

[macbethz]

my constant thought since the specials is whether there exists anywhere in fiction any concepts like the heart of the tardis/metacrisis/doctordonna stuff but like. 'good'. i wish dw wasn't bad but otoh....if it was good would it be good........

there are several pieces of media including doctor who related stuff (t*rchwood) that i enjoy solely for their potential despite the fact that they are bad or mid but the main show (with a few exceptions) is not one of them. I genuinely think doctor who is good both as a central part of TV history and like. structurally as a story. SHE DOES STRUGGLE SOMETIMES I CANNOT LIE. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME BUMPS. To me that is part of her quirkiness tho like doctor who's ability to be both the most evocative tragedy you've ever seen in your life and simultaneously ridiculous sci fi nonsense is central to its appeal. you'll have to kill me before i get mad at the masters lightning hands or the levitating black triangle. she's like my horse in a horse girl movie. you just dont understand her like i do <3

BUT ANYWAY yeah metacrisis/doctordonna/heart of the tardis/eldritch time lord nonsense have not been explored to their full potential i agree! That's one of my personal favorite corners of the DW universe and part of why I engage with it so much. I particularly just enjoy the fucked up implications of essentially merging with the soul of your eldritch god best friend until you don't know where one of you ends and the other begins. Love to see that actually explored by DW someday -_-

If that kind of weirdness interests you though I think you might enjoy some of the DW EU, like the eighth doctor audios or faction paradox! In terms of other media, I consume a crazy amount of sci fi so it really depends what exactly you're looking for! I am legally obligated to plug Blindsight which is my favorite book of all time and similarly investigates identity and the nature of consciousness through the lens of aliens; this book actually changed how I look at my life and I recommend it to everyone. The Enderverse also explores similar identity blurring/psychic weird aliens/etc in its later books. Parasyte the Maxim is a slightly different beast thematically but I still recommend it anyway because 1) its VERY good and 2) also features bodysharing w aliens/what it means to be human. but again it really depends what part of that stuff appeals to you and i loveee giving recs

this got long but i like talking abt doctor who sorry. i also want to see more time lord weirdness

[dawnexpanse-central]

Infrequently Asked Questions

What is the Dawn Expanse, and why does it exist?

The Dawn Expanse is an aroaceagender worldbuilding project created by @roguetelepaths.

It can best be described as an act of radical imagination— if we only ever see ourselves as outsiders in an allonormative, amatonormative, binary world, then we have no choice but to accept our marginalization. If we build worlds with ourselves at the center, we can become confident enough to center our own needs and aims in this world.

Queer worldbuilding projects of all kinds are important and often neglected tools of empowerment, and this blog would love to connect with others running similar projects.

What do you mean, "aroaceagender worldbuilding project"?

The Dawn Expanse can be loosely compared to Aristasia (though without the reactionary and imperialistic overtones of that project) — a femme lesbian subculture based around a fantasy country where femininity and relationships between women were considered not just default, but a fundamental law of nature. I should note that while this subculture has been made up of people with varying and often abhorrently conservative political positions, it no longer really exists and those I've seen talk the most about it these days are mostly left-leaning trans women. There is no real-world subculture based around the Dawn Expanse, or at least, there isn't one yet, however, the basic principle is the same. The Dawn Expanse is a world in which everyone is aroaceagender. More precisely, it's a world in which gender, sexuality, and romance never had a reason to exist, and therefore do not. The project aims both to provide comfort to those who have the specific experience I'm representing here and to explore the unique social structures of such a world.

So do you hate gender/sex/romance, or people for whom those things are important?

If this blog was devoted to cat videos, would you ask me if I hated dogs?

I'm not aro, ace, and/or agender. Can I read this?

I'm not a cop.

I'm not aro, ace, and/or agender. Will I enjoy this?

I don't know. Will you?

Are you some kind of aroaceagender separatist?

No. The number of different experiences under each of those labels, the incredibly small subcategory of people who fit into all three, and the even smaller fraction of that group that experiences their identities in the same way I do would make an honest to goodness real-world "aroaceagender separatist" position both a laughable one to take and an impossible one to execute.

I am, however, an aroaceagender person who prioritizes my relationships with those who either share my experience or are willing to show that they respect and affirm it.

If the Dawn Expanse doesn't have 🌶️🌶️ spicy romance 🌶️🌶️, what does it have?

Literally everything else? Idk man, is your world so narrow that you think a piece of art has to have that to be interesting? You've got BookTok, 99% of AO3, and many, many sites specifically devoted to written erotica if that's what you're after. Let the rest of us have one thing.

But to answer the question in more detail, the tone of the Dawn Expanse aims to be tonally similar to animated series such as Steven Universe, The Owl House, or She-Ra and the Princesses of Power in its approach to balancing interpersonal conflicts with higher stakes world events. Thematically, it aims to explore community bonds, sense of place or lack thereof, and the false dichotomy of order and entropy.

Can I write my own stories in the Dawn Expanse setting?

Yes! I'll be writing a more detailed post about what to consider when doing this at some point.

Can I run a tabletop campaign in the Dawn Expanse setting?

Absolutely. In fact, one of my eventual goals for this project is a system-agnostic RPG setting guide. (Though, knowing me, it'll probably be biased towards the Cypher System, my favorite do-it-all RPG ruleset.)

You're really mean in some of the replies to these imaginary questions. Why?

I'm tired. That's why. The good news is that if you actually take the time to talk to me in good faith, I'm not nearly this much of an asshole. So the rudeness is probably not directed at you.

[tuningknight]

thoughts on girls revolution project cast based on their comics so far

#1, pink hair

- taking her first steps into the world; "my name is becoming real"

- (is she a virtual entity in the first place vs a real entity? idk)

- self-doubts, self-deprecative thoughts

- afraid of the world, afraid of being hurt by others

- (HC trans allegory...? self-deprecation is in line with gender dysphoria, being afraid of the world & being hurt by others is in line with how trans acceptance is viewed)

#2, purple&red hair

- feels the world is too big

- wants to shift focus on "smaller things"

- has been hurt in some way

- thinks abt reasons for hurt & conflict in the world

- believes strongly in empathy/sympathy

- (i really like this worldview... i resonate a lot with it, wondering about how people hurt others and are hurt themselves; why there is conflict in the world; implication that she feels like people who haven't experienced deep pain are cruel themselves -- i feel this a lot too)

#3, black hair

- loves the world in its darkness and beauty

- has a lot of emotions she wants to express

- sees her turbulent self in the turbulent world

- sense of self, authenticity, independency

- wants to be her authentic, messy self in expressing her feelings & emotions -- not cool and calculated at all

- (she screams goth/emo/alt to me, sorry abt being unable to pinpoint the specific name i'm a bit unfamiliar, but something about wanting to express darker emotions and not hide them is just. yeah you get it)

#4, white hair

- feels like the world is always watching & oppressive

- pressured to be a "certain way," to conform to the world, but wants to "just be herself"

- feels suffocated by the pressure of the world

- "we can't accept our differences from others" -> thematic of conforming & pressure; being different is unacceptable, the more different you are from society the worse it is

- emphasis on regrets -> maybe she doesn't want to live a life of regrets not expressing herself the way she wants to

- (somehow she gives me the vibe of being physically disabled or otherwise bodily frail, but i'm unsure where i get that vibe)

#5, purplish magenta hair

- feels the world is very structured and clear, but that structure is too oppressive at times

- likely experiences emotional & behavioral outbursts often (?)

- wants to hide her feelings/not make her feelings known, and just wants people to coexist alongside her in society like she's normal

- longing for normalcy vs feeling like the world's feelings & norms are against her

- (HC she has some kind of behavioral or personality disorder... projects my BPD on you)

#6, green/yellowish hair

- feels "empty"

- just copies others, doesn't have a real sense of self

- wants to be kind to herself despite her emptiness

- sometimes wants to feel pain (maybe related to the feeling of emptiness, something to fill that hole)

- feels importance in pain somehow

- (autism creature?)

other

another thing i just realized their eyes are all the same; given the significance of kafrim's eyes being similar, these 6 girls having the same eyes Probably Means Something in their united "revolution" against the world

all of them have comments about "the world" -- similarity in 4 and 5 regarding the structure & pressures of society; 3 and 6 also feel like they have similarities to me in their outlooks (idk how to word it, i want to say "being true to oneself" but that's not quite right); 1 and 2 also talk about being hurt by the world

all of them have critiques on society & the world from different angles, likely because they all deviate from social norms one way or another, so my HCs of some of them being say, mental disorder, autistic, trans, disabled, etc would be thematically fitting

4, 5, 6 all are hiding their sense of self, while 1 and 3 are showing & expressing their sense of self. 2 i'm unsure but i would say she's leaning towards showing her sense of self.

i wish they had fucking names already release the names PP-san AAAAAAAAA

[fictionadventurer]

Here's my incredibly deep input: I ship Lily with the explorer badly. I was already leaning towards him but now I accidentally care way too much. He's The Secret Fourth Thing, structurally; i think it'd tie together nicely everything Lily's learnt from all the suitors; personally, this relationship sounds most intriguing and nuanced; and the dynamic is not only fun but also addresses the very concept of the unusual portal story. Additionally, the warrior's story with the matchmaker also has me 100% sold already - and he's the kinda guy I recognise as my usual fave type, so it's saying a lot. I know and love him already, give him a HEA - but i really want to get to know the explorer and see him grow alongside Lily. Pls write thnxxx

This is more-or-less what I was thinking before I wrote that post about Lily's dynamic with her suitors, but as I wrote everything out, I kept getting really attached to the warrior and second-guessing the dramatic and thematic possibilities of that plot, so I kept both options open.

Your points here make me want to dig into the issue again, so let's get analytical.

I love the dynamic between Lily and the explorer, for all the reasons you've listed. The main reason that I hesitated to partner them was that I couldn't quite believe that the explorer would be happy settling down. I worried there'd always be the chance that he'd get bored of domestic life and run off on more adventures. Also, the point of the story was that Lily would find a place to belong in this world. If she married the person who didn't quite fit in, could I truly say that she'd found a place to belong?

Yet, it's true that their dynamic ties directly into the portal fantasy theme. The story's about how Lily fell into a portal fantasy and never went on any adventures, so her natural counterpart is the guy who went on all the adventures. Their personalities also make more natural complements. They're similar (both outsiders to the community) in ways that are important to the theme, and different (cautious vs. adventurous, extrovert vs. introvert) in ways that are more direct opposites, which means they can balance each other out. I can't quite say the same about Lily and the warrior. He fits in while she's an outsider--but marrying him might imply that she's completely given up the side of herself that's shaped by our world. They're different types of introverts--not opposite enough to provide balance. He's active while she's intellectual, but that's a difference in interests (rather than in approaches to the world) that might be insurmountable. It's fun to see Lily overcome her misconceptions about him (and thus about the culture here), but it's not necessarily enough to make him the best choice of husband for her.

I could solve the problems with the Lily/explorer ship by altering the character and the arc of the explorer. Give him strong-enough family ties here that he's not a complete outsider. Make sure his arc shows that he's learning that life here can be just as exciting as life on the road. Show a caring and nurturing side to him. By the end of the story, Lily and the explorer should have both helped each other to grow. They're both still outsiders because of their experiences outside this society, but they've both helped each other find a way to belong that doesn't require them to erase that.

This endgame, since it's so thematically fitting, might be too obvious. But this isn't the genre you go to for huge plot twists, so it could still work if I have enough other interesting stuff surrounding it.

I'm still not sure I could bear to make the decision if I didn't have another partner for the warrior. Thankfully, I do, and it's a very fun dynamic. The warrior and the matchmaker complement and contrast each other in ways that are exact opposites to Lily and the explorer. The warrior and the matchmaker both fit in to this society--he fits in with the active fighter part of society, while she fits into the more feminine social realm--which means they fit well with each other. The matchmaker is an extrovert while he's an introvert, and her good social skills counteract his difficulty with them. They make a good counterpart to the pairing of Lily and the explorer, which makes for a neat and well-balanced story.

These ideas are still in early stages, but unless I find compelling reasons for a different outcome, this is a solid structure to start from.

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 7: Notes on (Cause This Can't Be) The Way the Story Ends

Am I bitter about being cut from Troped? Uh, yeah, I am, because I’m very competitive and bad at losing. But, oh well! That’s how it goes, I guess. Now that I’m not anon anymore, here are some notes on my R1 fic, (Cause This Can’t Be) The Way the Story Ends. They came out to be quite a lot of notes so I’ll save the trivia and BTS of The Fairy Ring for another time.

The idea of having it be non-chronological came very early because I wanted the story to have a little extra zest and verve, and I felt that, told chronologically, it would be too similar to a type of story I’ve told too many times before. So the concept of this unusual structure, this little puzzle within the story, was integral from the beginning. Originally it was actually going to be even more out of order, and I really didn’t want to tone it down because I felt like then it would be too similar to The Taste of Hope, another Murven story I wrote for Madness 2020, which is also essentially two chronological stories interspliced. The stories are really different in other ways, though, and unlike Taste, this one has a circular structure: it ends where it began, an infinite loop, which I’m pretty proud of. More importantly, though, I just didn’t think it would be readable any more mixed up. I wanted the reader to have this sense of not understanding a detail, and then later getting a lightbulb moment when chronologically-previous information is revealed, and I think I got some of that to happen anyway. But stories obviously are generally told chronologically for a reason: events build up on each other, increase tension, show satisfying cause and effect, etc. I’m not saying super-out-of-order stories can’t be written, but this particular narrative in this particular time frame and within this particular word count… no.

One regret I do have is that I didn’t go very far with the Disaster theme. I wanted to. ‘Disaster’ has strong connotations for me, a strong mood or vibe or aesthetic, speaking in terms of genre. I wanted that panic and hard-nosed-survival feeling, that narrowing down of the world to the disaster itself. There’s a fantasy in Disaster narratives—a naïve one, but it’s there, the fantasy that you will rise to the challenge of adversity, that you will gain real insight into the Meaning of Life when faced with the possibility of death, and that you will finally have the opportunity to throw away all the stupid everyday bs that doesn’t really matter anyway, to get to some kind of Core Value in your humanity or existence that’s obscured by the everyday mundane problems of your usual life. I don’t think I captured that at all but, in truth, I’m just not familiar enough with the genre. I kept thinking of disaster movie titles that I’d never seen. A lot of my Thematic Thoughts here come from having, you know, lived through a disaster myself, and while I do have a forum where I’m trying to work out some feelings about that through fiction, this was not it. I just didn’t feel like I had the vocabulary to do, like, The Day After Tomorrow but in 5k fanfic form.

I didn’t have the word count to make this clear but the ‘gunshot sound’ Murphy hears at the beginning is the falling tree branch that is mentioned later as blocking part of their street.

Another thing that may or may not be clear is the Miller mini-story line, which was also cut down partly due to word count restraints. The idea was he was supposed to be kind of threatening and mysterious—hard to do in fanfic where the audience very much knows who this man is—a potential thief who’s taken advantage of the storm to rob the bakery. Hence the knife, the lockpicking ability, etc. But of course, he’s also injured, so how much can he do. Also, the scene where he and Octavia get into the closet through his lock-picking skills was going to be a whole big to-do, but I cut it in part because I didn’t have the space but also because it wouldn’t have been Murphy POV and I wasn’t sure how to incorporate that into such a steadfastly Murphy-viewpoint story. At any rate, it was supposed to be a big Solved Mystery to find out he was Jackson’s boyfriend, but I doubt that came through.

Another thing on the cutting room floor: the outline included a scene between Clarke and Murphy, talking about his feelings for Raven. But I felt like their relationship was clear enough without it—they were already sort of inching toward each other again—and also, I simply did not have space for another conversation.

I chose an ice storm because that’s the disaster-type I’m most familiar with and, like I said above, I’m just not adept at this genre. I needed to go an easy route. I grew up in an area with very heavy winters, and I really did live through a pretty major ice storm, the January 1998 North American Ice Storm (look it up), which hit when I was in the third grade. I have very strong memories of one particular night without power, during the ice storm, staying up and listening to the radio, just like the characters do in the story.

Originally, very early, I was going to have Harper as the grad student and Miller as an EMT, while Octavia was always Murphy’s co-worker. Those were just my initial instincts, which shifted as I continued planning.

Octavia is my personal favorite in this fic.

I came up with the dancing scene on the bus.

Reading the description of Bakery Au actually helped a lot because before that, my idea was feeling very Coffee Shop AU. I mean, it still does imo, but I also have a centerpiece scene where the two main characters decorate a tart so…. In my defense, that’s pretty bakery-like.

And I think that’s it! I have several pages of notes but they’re largely scene lists repeated with small variations as I tried to get the order of events, and the order of events as presented in the fic, just right.

[spilledreality]

3. We live in a scam economy

Previously.

I finished White Lotus last night. It felt a bit like reading fandom, or watching late-season Gossip Girl, where all the possible sexual couplings and recombinations have been explored, only to settle down roughly where they started. But my biggest thematic takeaway was something like "We live in a scam economy."

What do I mean by a scam? By scam I just mean setting up expectations and then contradicting them. (N.b., this is also how stories, avant-garde poems, and standup routines work. GdF points out that, because of this similarity, scams are the perfect plot structures for films and TV shows: the set-up, the plot twist, the big reveal. But in the real world, in situations where it counts—where we really care about concomitances being reliable—scams take advantage of, and turn these concomitances against us. And their net effect is to undermine the structure of reliable action, the reliability that keeps the social world ready at hand. When we learn that a concomitance can be exploited, is not necessarily robust, does not always hold up, it breaks our ability to use that concomitance in our modeling of the world, in our decision-making. It robs us of a tool.

I think using the word “scam” in this sense diverges from words like “deception” in interesting/productive ways. Deception carries intuitions or implications of a logical contradiction, in a correspondence theory view of language. Scam implies the active setting up of expectations to get something done—to manipulate somebody. It's something proactive and systematic, rather than something post-facto. It emphasizes the pragmatic harms of presenting misleading information, rather than whether an utterance is "true" or "false" (a distinction that IMO is confused, and papers over a pragmatic concern about the misleading).

(Lying about e.g. infidelity post-fact is still setting up misleading expectations in some sense—expectations for the possibly distant future about whether you’ll be unfaithful again, e.g.—but it’s much less direct, so the “expectation-y” aspect isn't as foregrounded.)

Ethan is weak is so many disappointing ways. I think the main one is almost unfair—the show’s logic prevents him from leaving the island, when his ultimate act of agency would be to just leave (ostensibly with Harper). Harper is like a six year old, however, so it’s not surprising Ethan, having chosen to couple with her, is himself emotionally stunted and seems to want to (and to bring about, hyperstitionally) his own cuckolding.

Side note, it is known that Mike White is redpilled—this show's plotting of Albie & Portia, and the Ethan/Harper/Cameron/Daphne love square? The way it shows the structure of a disintegrating relationship as a slow escalating mutual retaliation + mutual desire mimesis leading to all-out warfare and bloodshed? That's a full-blown enactment of Girardean and Petersonian arguments about conflict, with knowing winks to the audience. These are old ideas, but they're here again, and if I had to guess, I think that this is basically Mike White's take on the current political landscape slash cultural moment. (Same difference.)

Anyway, why I bring up Ethan's weakness is because every mark on this show is basically complicit with their being scammed. Even when their suspicions are all-but-confirmed, they still turn to their predator for the final truth of whether they’re being preyed on. It's completely insane. They're like little lambs asking wolves about the night's dinner menu. "Promise me I'm not the evening's entree?"

When Portia finds out she's been kidnapped, she straight-up offers to take a cab, so as to not inconvenience her kidnapper. Instead of immediately getting out of the car and leaving, or even demanding to take a cab, she’s politely offering. Incredible. And then her kidnapper says, "Look, just help me do my job, don't make it hard for me" and she says, OK, fine, and drives off with him to the middle of nowhere. It's a fucking miracle she isn't axe-murdered.

The thing to do when you sense deception is pick at it, like a thorn—and the scammers keep convincing their marks that deception's really like a scab—let it be, let it heal, move on with your life. And it works because... this is what the marks want to do anyways. They want to look away, pretend there isn't a problem. They want any excuse, any assurance, that allows them to keep pretending everything's fine. To not have to deal with the problem.

[dustedmagazine]

Godspeed You! Black Emperor — all lights fucked on the hairy amp drooling (self released)

all lights fucked on the hairy amp drooling by Godspeed You! Black Emperor

But somehow the story of the mysterious Godspeed cassette... people were more into that than the actual truth, y'know?

Efrim Menuck, Kreative Kontrol #667

So yeah, it’s not a Godspeed You! Black Emperor album in several significant ways, let alone some sort of great lost Godspeed You! Black Emperor album. But to be fair to the many people out there who have pined to some degree or another to actually hear this first credited release, originally only dubbed onto 33 cassettes and so thoroughly inaccessible for so long that some called it a hoax or a prank, it doesn’t really feel like anyone really expected it to be. If you heard about all lights fucked on the hairy amp drooling at all, the few apocryphal details usually included were fairly deflationary. A demo tape, maybe? Possibly a joke with friends? And, uh, a lot more singing than you’d expect from a GY!BE release. Now that someone has, literally years after the band’s Efrim Menuck predicted, just posted a copy of the thing on the internet (and they’ve responded by making it available on Bandcamp with the proceeds going to a charitable effort to provide medical oxygen to the Gaza Strip), the mystique of that “lost” cassette gets to recede and reveal the stranger and more interesting reality of the music here and its context.

So, back in 1993 a much younger Menuck, during a less comfortable time in his life, decided to make what he now describes as “a retirement letter.” He would go out to the bar and then come home and do a first-take recording to a four track. The next day he’d try and arrange the results into a song. After generating about 70 minutes of material, he put together 33 copies of it on cassette, credited to “god speed you black emperor!”, gave 12 or so copies away to friends and sold most of the rest of them when invited to open a show in Moncton, New Brunswick. Being invited to play that show and not just wanting to be one guy on guitar is when Menuck pulled in friends Mauro Pezzente (who does play on one track on the tape) and Mike Moya, and what I guess we have to call the ‘real’ Godspeed You! Black Emperor was formed in the work they did together, moving forward and adding eventually many more people. That’s why the bandcamp page for all lights fucked on the hairy amp drooling specifies “no relation to the band that followed” — in a very real sense, Godspeed is the band that formed after Menuck made this music. 

That doesn’t mean the music here is unconnected to Godspeed, or indeed the other music Menuck has made with them, or Thee Silver Mt Zion Memorial Orchestra, or solo, or in various other groups. The biggest obvious structural difference is that many of those groups would be able to cover 70 minutes in a mere handful of tracks, whereas here there’s 27 of them, arranged in collage style. It’s not just as if you took a Godspeed track and gave each segment its own name and track index (which they come kind of close to doing anyway, and the Bandcamp release of this one just present each side of the cassette in two longer tracks, with individual tracks noted in the description), those segments are often much shorter and less directly or melodically connected with their surroundings. And, of course, there’s no string ensemble. But the thematic similarities, assisted by the fact that Menuck’s literal and stylistic voice is already strongly present and more overt than at least on the early Godspeed records he helped create, are strong: a rage at crushing inequality, mordantly bleak humor, a bit of a desire to just fuck things up and challenge conventional pieties, even the underlying love of others and belief that we all have to pull together or we’re doomed. All that plus a hilarious Evel Knievel sample to start things off. It’s ramshackle and frequently obnoxious (for better and for worse) and lo fi and raucous and sometimes might make you think of Eric’s Trip and sometimes might make you think of, well, Godspeed You! Black Emperor. 

In certain corners of twitter and other parts of the internet, there was a palpable wave of excitement, sometimes an intensely emotional one, that swept through first when the long-sought after leak suddenly appeared, and again when the band confirmed it by posting an official version. If in one sense it’s hard to square those feelings with the actual reality of the album (which is very good and of definite, specific interest to Godspeed fans, but also seems likely to wind up being many fans’ least-favourite Godspeed record), it’s much easier to do so with the story and aura that naturally built up around it over the years. Who loves a band, finds out they put some super early release that nobody seems to have heard, and doesn’t want to finally hear it, just a little? Maybe it’s only fitting that a group as singular as Godspeed You! Black Emperor should wind up with juvenilia that’s far more interesting and distinct than any proto-F♯ A♯ ∞ could be. Even if, really, it’s not a Godspeed record as we understand that term today. 

Ian Mathers

[aspoonofsugar]

I think it would be pretty strange to have Qrow and Jaune be connected to Mercury because so far in the show all his relationships with men that he has are incredibly negative and I do find it interesting it how Mercury who feels like in something else would be portrayed as some sexist jerk being a big part of his character instead here gets along with women pretty well like he even got on with Cinder even if their relationship has soured post v3

Hi anon!

I think I disagree, even if I see where you are coming from...

First of all, the simple truth is... Mercury doesn't have that many relationships... as for now his 3 main bonds are Emerald (positive), Cinder (ambivalent) and Tyrian (negative). So, I would not really talk about a pattern here. This boy just needs friends no matter the gender :''')

Secondly, it is true that a part of Mercury's arc is to overcome a toxic mindset that stems from a negative idea of masculinity: "You must be strong", "You need no crutches", "You shouldn't show your feelings", etc. However, toxic masculinity =/= male characters. Jaune and Qrow are examples of masculinity that have outgrown their toxic traits, so for Mercury to develop bonds with them would be positive.

In any case, my reasoning to headcanon their future involvement in Mercury's arc is mostly structural and thematic. Especially when it comes to Qrow, I have argued why it would fit here and here:

Qrow and Mercury are similar. Both were raised to be assassins and their childhoods keep influencing their respective self-images. Deep down both still believe they are destined for destruction.

Tyrian is the character that in different ways embodies this idea for both, so it makes sense for them to overcome him. However, this victory should not be (only) a physical one. Qrow defeating Tyrian as a way to avenge Clover would not work because it would still be Qrow indulging in destruction. Similarly, Mercury killing Tyrian like he killed Marcus would just be the cycle repeating.

However, for Qrow to save a kid just as unlucky as him would be a way to metaphorically save and heal himself. For Mercury to show vulnerability and accept help would truly mean defeat Tyrian, Marcus and break the cycle of abuse.

Of course, things might go in many different ways, but this theory at least works for both characters’ arcs imo. If Qrow is the one that eventually kills Tyrian I think it should not be about Tyrian himself, but rather to save one of Tyrian’s victims and Mercury just happens to be in the perfect position to be saved.

Finally, when it comes to Cinder and Mercury's relationship, I actually like it very much and think it would be very important for both characters. I know this isn't really the focus of your ask, but in general I think people miss when exactly Mercury and Cinder's bond "weakened". It isn't in volume 4 or 5, but in volume 6. Specifically, it is after Salem's outburts here:

Before this outburst, Mercury is just as emotional as Emerald is at discovering Cinder is alive:

Salem: That's right. I want you to understand that failure. I want you to understand why Cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself. Salem walks away from Emerald. Both her and Mercury look up in surprise. Mercury: You mean-- Emerald: She's alive?

After the outburst, Mercury is quick to rationalize his relationship with Cinder as purely utilitaristic:

Mercury: Yeah, Cinder was a pain, but at least she kept us filled in.

And lacking any emotional attachment:

Mercury: Cinder doesn't care about you! She doesn't care about either of us!

Like, here Mercury is right and is trying to open Emerald's eyes. However, he is also convincing himself and putting some distance from Cinder. Notice how Mercury starts wiht Emerald, but then extends the idea to himself, as well. After all, this is what Salem, aka his new abuser is asking of him:

Salem: It's important not to lose sight of what drives us: Love, justice, reverence… But, the moment you put your desires before my own… they will be lost to you. This isn't a threat. This is simply the truth. The path to your desires is only found… through me.

Salem's message to Emerald (and so Mercury, as well) is clear. They should prioritize Salem's will over Cinder's. And that is what Mercury starts doing here in order to survive. This process keeps going throughout the time skip between volume 6 and 8. Just look how scared he is here:

And in volume 7 he is hardened himself so much, he barely shows any reaction to Cinder's return. This isn't because he doesn't care or their bond is gone though. It is a very specific reaction to abuse that makes Mercury repress his feelings and always act through a pragmatic frame, which is ironically much more obtuse than if he were just to follow his heart :''')

Anyway, I digressed a little bit, but the point is... I think Mercury's arc is about overcoming toxic masculinity, which is precisely why a bond with a positive male mentor figure may help. Not the only option, but not one I would discard just because...

Have a nice day!

[tippenfunkaport]

I dont think it's necessary to compare Glimbow to Catradora to validate it, they are two completely different kinds of relationship and the only similarities seem to be from how theyre a relationship at all.

However, the way Glimmer holds Bow's hands in so many scenes, yeah, pretty gay-- i mean er, pretty romantic, sorry old habit.

They honestly come across as a couple who've been sort of dating for a long time but not really decided whether they were together or not.

I wish Bow had a bi panic moment. He deserves it!

They are both completely valid on their own! I don't point out the parallels with Catradora to validate it so much as because it annoys the snot out of me when people think because they didn't see Glimbow that means it came out of nowhere. It was so clearly baked into the very structure of the show the same as Catra and Adora were as a literal storytelling device. So me saying, "yo Glimbow is there from the beginning just like Catradora" is really just a reflex from being used to people who act like Glimmer and Bow never interacted all show and were just randomly paired off in the last episode out of nowhere.

But just like the way Adora and Bow mirror each other and Catra and Glimmer mirror each other, I love the way Catradora and Glimbow are so thematically similar in many ways but their relationship develops in completely entirely differently because of the environments they were raised in. It's beautiful narrative symmetry.

And, yeah, I totally think Glimbow have been fundamentally dating for most of their lives without realizing it, particularly the way they are always touching each other, which is part of why I find their dynamic so much fun to write.

Re: bi panic. My own personal thoughts on the matter are that Bow knew he liked guys and kind of grew up thinking he was going to have what his dads had where he and his husband would be running the library someday and then along came chaos sparkle princess who blew his plans to oblivion. Which is, I think, part of why it took him so long to realize he was in love with Glimmer. Between being a princess and magic and a girl, all things he'd spent his whole life thinking were not in his future, he didn't realize how important she was to him he was until he was in WAY too deep.

[hamliet]

RWBY and the Philosopher’s Stone

So, I finally watched RWBY after a friend name-dropped several characters and I was like wait... those names are alchemical. I was still pleasantly surprised to find out just how deeply rooted in alchemy the story is, from its characters to its plot structure. 

Background: alchemical structure is a type of story structure that focuses on inner transformation via outward obstacles. You can find it in literary traditions across the world, from Moxiang Tongxiu’s novels to A Song of Ice and Fire to Harry Potter to The Witcher to Trollhunters. Carl Jung incorporated it into his psychology. Daoism plays heavily into Chinese alchemy. The Wizard of Oz, one of RWBY’s main inspirations, is a blatant alchemy allegory. It’s everywhere, so it’s not surprising RWBY is drawing heavily on alchemy, but it is neat to see how blatant the references are. 

Thematically, the goal of alchemy is a metaphorical philosopher’s stone. The philosopher’s stone, in legend, is said to produce an elixir of eternal life, and to be able to transform “baser” metals into gold. 

In stories, when positive, as it usually is, this usually results in a character either overcoming death (see, Harry Potter) and/or transforming the world and others around him (Harry Potter saving his friends, etc.) But the journey from how they get from prima materia (raw material) to the philosopher’s stone? Now that’s the story. 

(When reversed, a metaphorical stone results in something that can destroy everything; see: the One Ring, also Salem, because Salem’s whole thing is that she cheapened the process of life and death, while alchemy states that death is a necessary part of achieving life.)

So, mostly I’m gonna talk about the symbolism I’ve seen so far and make some predictions for what’s likely to happen next in the story, and for the characters.

Each of the four main characters has a name that corresponds to one of the four phases of the Magnum Opus. “Blake Belladonna” refers to the nigredo, or black stage; “Weiss Schnee” to the albedo, or white stage; “Yang Xiao Long” to the citrinitas or yellow phase, and “Ruby Rose” to the final stage, rubedo, or red (Ruby’s name is quite literally taken from that stage). Naming them for these stages shows a dual purpose: while Ruby is the central character, she needs her team around her, and Team RWBY will save the world together. Team JNR is also a part of the stages, but I’ll get to what they represent later on. 

Jung associated each of the major stages with a major archetype. The major stages can be further broken up into a total of seven or twelve or even fourteen stages. Most commonly you’ll see George Ripley’s Twelve Gates referenced, and I believe that’s what RWBY is referencing as well since its allusions are pretty perfect. The "gates” or stages also sometimes overlap, especially when different characters might be at different stages. 

Nigredo: Seasons 1-3 

Alchemy begins by gathering the prima materia, or raw material. The characters assembling in season 1 is more of the gathering than the actual transformative process. But once we hit season 2, we dive straight into the process. 

Calcination occurs during the climax of season 2, during the fight on the train. Season 3 contains dissolution, or the washing of impurities through the exposure of certain secrets (like the fall maiden) as well as the literal dissolution of Beacon Academy, and separation (the end of the season, when Team RWBY is scattered). 

Narratively, Jung associated nigredo with the shadow, with someone’s dark night of the soul, their low point. In historical artistic depictions, often part of nigredo is dismemberment... which happens to Yang when she saves Blake from Adam. See, Splendor Solis: 

The goal of the shadow is that it should be integrated with, accepted, rather than denied. Facing the shadow is a necessary part of growth and ultimate transformation... and the point is, through facing the shadow, hope and light come.  

Peacock’s Tail: Seasons 4-5

Okay, I lied, there are sometimes five phases in alchemy. At the very end of nigredo, just before albedo, there is sometimes a flash of light, of rainbows and colors, that give hope. It’s not quite a phase, more of a moment, but it’s referred to as the peacock’s tail. While this is less plot-related, it does make sense that this is the point in the story where Team RJNR is formed. Why? Because look at their colors:

Ruby: red, black

Jaune: yellow, blue

Ren: green, purple

Nora: white, pink, orange

Between them we’ve pretty much got the full rainbow. 

We also have, in Blake’s arc, the introduction of Ilia Amitola, whose last name is the Souix word for “rainbow.” 

Albedo: Seasons 5-7

Albedo is associated with the anima or animus, or the part of ourselves that we are lacking (it’s generally gendered as the male within a female and the female within a male, but please understand he’s not talking literally and more in terms of traditional qualities ascribed as feminine or masculine that we may repress), which more than fits the fact that this stage begins while team RJNR is literally wandering around a continent called Anima. 

Conjunction is a term in which all the separated parts that can be salvaged from the Nigredo come together. Obviously the main incident for this is the fight at the end of volume 5, but I’d argue it overlaps a bit with volume 4 and even with separation.

The characters are only able to come together again once they’ve accepted aspects of their shadows. Yang deals with hers in Raven and Blake with the White Fang. Nora and Ren’s fight at their home village represents them dealing with their shadow as well, and also relates to conjunction because conjunction is the stage where the first chemical wedding comes into play. A chemical wedding is the joining of alchemical partners, and while I’ll probably discuss ships in another post (there’s a lot of set up alchemy-wise), I’ll just reference the obvious one here: 

The fountain image and a person shooting arrows is some pretty uncannily similar imagery to the fight at Nora and Ren’s home village. 

Next up in albedo is putrefication (focus on death and rotting). We see this with the encounter with the Apathy, who look like skeletons, cause death, etc. We’re also introduced to Maria Calaveras, aka the Grimm Reaper. (Her last name also means “skull” aka the white results of putrefication). 

Congelation requires a lot of water, and we see this in the focus on Atlas, wherein snow (water) is everywhere. The point of congelation is to separate the thin from the thick, the latter of which will of course become the Philosopher’s Stone. We see this through Team RWBY’s break with the Ace-Ops (aka the Aesops), whose simplistic morality and rule-following are not going to bring about character growth or eternal life. 

Citrinitas: Volume 7-?

Citrinitas focuses on the light, or fire. That immediately after congelation, a giant whale brimming with yellow appears in the white-colored Atlas is not a coincidence. Citrinitas is associated with the sage or the wise old man/woman, so Maria and Pietro fill this role. 

The first stage of citrinitas is cibation, which involves feeding with fresh material. I’d actually say that it seems quite possible cibation overlaps with congelation, in that there is a focus on food and on training with the Ace-Ops early in Volume 7. The next phases are sublimation and fermentation. I can see potential for sublimation in that it essentially is when solid becomes air (think of the setting of Atlas), but it’s too soon to say what this means for the plot. 

Fermentation, though... well, things will get worse before they get better. :’) 

Rubedo: 

Finally, Rubedo is associated with the fully individualized self. We can assume each of the main seven will come into their own, confident of whom they are. Oscar should, as well, and probably will have fully control over his body by the end (ie Oz will likely... find rest or whatever).

The stages of rubedo are exaltation (the creation of the stone after two contraries meet), multiplication (the stones’ properties increase), and projection (the stone’s abilities are projected over the entire world, aka presumably RWBY will save the world). 

The most common way to display multiplication is through, well, a lot of couplings. It’s why the main characters ending single seems extremely unlikely to me. Even if it seems a fairy tale ending, well.... *gestures to everything about RWBY being inspired by fairy tales* Fairy tales were also often alchemy based. But ships will get their own meta, because I actually don’t really ship much besides Renora and am for once not super invested in anything, but I can see the set-up for four or five ships.

I also want to highlight the other symbolic names that stood out to me: 

Ironwood. While I know Ironwood references the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz (tin being one of seven metals associated with alchemy), his name also references a second metal: Iron. Tin and Iron are the two of the three basest metals in alchemy (the other is lead). Iron in particular is ruled by Mars, the god of war, meaning it is associated with violence. It’s not a coincidence that pretty much from the second Ironwood is introduced, the concept of war comes up, and his entire character has gone on to be the embodiment of the military and violence. 

Tai Xiao Long. His name literally means “sun,” and Ruby’s mother is defined by her silver eyes (silver being a color traditionally associated with the moon). Ruby is thus considered the child of the Solar King and Lunar Queen, two mythical alchemical figures who together create the “Philosophical Child,” or the personified philosopher’s stone.

Pietro Polendina: his name literally means “stone,” and Penny is his philosopher’s stone. Penny is arguably a reference to copper, another of the seven metals, as copper references compassion and love, which seems like Penny to me. 

Qrow and Raven Branwen: crows and ravens are symbolic of nigredo, or the black phase; death, decay, etc. However, within the story I think Qrow and Raven fulfill this role as the Jungian shadows of hunters as a whole and of Yang. 

Sun Wukong: obviously a reference to the sun. 

Emerald Sustrai: Emerald is a reference to the Emerald Tablet, which in alchemical lore is a tablet containing the secrets of alchemy, as written down by Hermes (in legend). Hermes is, of course, Mercury. Everything about alchemy stems from the Emerald Tablet, so Emerald should be important. In addition, green is the color of the prima materia, so it references Emerald’s arc in being shaped and molded by Cinder. 

Mercury Black: Mercury as the mythological god is the legendary founder of alchemy, so like, he’s important. Mercury is also the third most important metal in alchemy, after gold and silver. It is necessary to achieving the philosopher’s stone so, like Emerald, Mercury is probably important. Mercury is of particular note because mercurial characters are common in alchemical literature: they make stuff happen. Think of Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, for example. Mercury transcends death symbolically (you can see the roots of this in Mercury’s backstory with his assassin father): it is difficult to pin down and can quickly shift from liquid to solid. Thus, in alchemy, mercury can shift between life and death. 

Mercury is also a noted servant of the white queen. I initially thought this a surface reference to Salem’s appearance, and it might be, but Salem is more associated with a black queen in the recurring chess motif, and I don’t see Mercury staying on her side (mercury isn’t fixed, after all; that’s its central tenet), so I kind of wonder if the “white queen” will be later revealed. Or maybe it just is a surface mention.

[kanohivolitakk]

Since its 3Hs anniversary some really cool things I like about the game that aren’t talked about enough because the fandom is too busy arguing who is right and who is wrong

The worldbuilding just. 3H has honestly one of my favorite fictional settings. Its just both expansive but also genuinely interesting. I have spent HOURS thinking about the world and made so many ocs its not even funny. I love thinking about the setting of the game so much.

I LOVE the puzzle like way the game explains its world and story. Like I know some people don’t like it because it makes the game a bit too convoluted but personally? I LOVE 3Hs way of not telling everything but rather giving hints and clues the player has to piece themselves. It makes the games world feel more interactive and feels so satisfying. Then again I enjoy that kind of approach to worldbuilding

In general I love 3hs fragmented story and the way how the story is placed in many different fragments. It is geniunely rewarding to replay the game from another storypath and notice the foreshadowing Would’ve the story been probably better had it been just one storypath? Honestly yes. But 3h is ambitious and one of the ways it is is with its fragmented story structure.

The structure of White Clouds is criminally underrated honestly and gets way more hate than it deserves. I love how the first few chapters set up the world of Fodlan and show injustices/conflicts of the world with chapters like the chapter where you face off Lonato for instance. Then the next few chapters are spend in deepening the mysteries such as the conspiracy against the church and the mystery regarding TWSITD. Then Jeralt dies and the last few chapters are spent as “beginning of the End” so to speak, as things clears to the intense climax.

On related note I LOVE how the game handles perspective and how the lords are the respective ways we view the story. I know so many people say “WHite Clouds is same on all paths” but I do feel that’s kinda the point. The story is the same but there are differences that come from the way each of the lords is strongly characterized and has different values, worldviews. The subtle changes on what are focused on in each route also foreshadow what will be focused on each route, which I think is super cool.

Even beyond the lords and routes the game does explore the idea of perspective well. I do think 3h has this very “everyone is the hero of their own story” type of approach to perspective and it shows it well. Each character believes they’re in the right and you can get this view that they view themselves as right. Even Agarthans who are the designated villains have this sense they think they’re in right and that the Nabateans were evil.

The way how games routes being divided into having a different focus is very cool. I love how AM is a smaller scale personal tragedy, how CF is a battle of ideals and how VW explores the world and reveals deeper mysteries. I also love how all of these are related to the lords ideals and worldviews: Dimitri is the most conflicted of the lords so he gets the most characterfocused story focused on . Edelgard is the most ideologically driven so her path focuses on her ideals and battle of wills against Rhea. Claude is the one who is the most freespirited and wants to know the truth so his route focuses on revealing the mysteries.

Also the way the houses characters reflect their respective routes storyline and central themes: Black Eagles are nobles that have conflicting relationships with nobility reflecting Edelgards goal, Blue Lions are all united with the trauma of Tragedy of Duscur, and Golden Deer are a house of misfits who give this “ragtag group who will save the universe with POWER OF FRIENDSHIP and this cool gun I found” vibes which fit the route PERFECTLY

I LOVE how the game plays with and subverts a lot of Fire Emblem tropes. While it does play some tropes straight (dad death and evil cult manipulating behind the scenes) it does do a lot to break from series conventions and playing with ideas to make a more ambitious story. The way it either subverts expectations (The evil emperor being female well intended extremist, Rhea being the Gharnef/Medeus instead of the Nyna archetype she’s presented as), twists familiar tropes to their natural extreme (Dimitris arc is basically the natural extreme end of stereotypical FE lord) and other similar things make the game feeling so planned out, like the writers understood FE stories and wanted to make something that challenges FE while still feeling like it.

The way how every major player acts as foil/pararell to another player is so GOOD. Every faction leader can be compared to the other somehow and that just makes the game SOOOO fun to analyze, trying to find all the similarities and differences and pararells is so rewarding.

A more specific example on this is how i love how the game plays with the idea of holy/sacred weapons. While normally these weapons are artifacts from goddess that defeat dragons, here the holy weapons are bones made from dragons and just???? HOW METAL IS THAT????????? It’s just such a neat way to subvert the idea of sacred weapons. Rather than being blessed creations of the goddess, they are weapons of destruction made by the villains.

I ADORE THE GAMES science fiction elements. I know people say they feel out of place but personally, they make the game memorable for me. I still remember the first time I saw that scene with nukes. I especially love the heavy implication that Sothis isn’t a goddess but rather a powerful alien. It makes her character much more interesting

I know a lot of people don’t like Agarthans but can I just say their backstory being “forced to hide after their land got conquered and desiring it back” making them a dark mirror not just 3h lords/Rhea but FE lords as whole is SO FUCKING METAL. This is what I mean with 3H writers knowing their tropes like back of their hand.

I love how in Part 1 sometimes you’d talk to two characters in Monastery at once instead of just one. It’s something I miss in part 2 honestly.

I love the small sidequests such as the fishing tourney and White Heron cup and wish Part 1 had more of them, it would’ve made the school part feel more alive.

I LOVE how some missions (esp paralogues) have subgoals that you can clear to get better rewards. I wish the game had been more clear with them or even made them main goals of maps sometimes.

I LOVE THE WAY Paralogues act as small gaiden stories that show more of the games world and characters. Its a neat way to let the sidecharacters shine and reveal some neat secrets of the games world and story.

The gameplay loop is honetly fun and satisfying. It is rewarding and while it gets tiring towards the end overall its a good gameplay loop.

I ADORE the aesthetic of Shambhala. Its just so sleek and sinister. The cyrillic letters spelling different words is so cool. Shambhala is my favorite map in the game and the aesthetic is a big reason why.

The games soundtrack is so good!!!!!!!!!!  But not only that I LOVE the way its electro elements subtly hint of Agarthans being in control behind the scenes. This is especially cool in Road to Dominion where the electro parts are barely noticeable yet present. but other tracks have subtle electro vibes as well.  The other way the games music tells the story (such as use of leitmotifs or how the monastery music changes once Jeralt dies) is great as well.

I love how 3h can be read as an allegory for reformation era and reneissance. Its such an interesting way to read the games events and compare it to a real historical periods there’s quite a bit of f

In general I ADORE the cultural references of the game. There’s surprisingly lot of way the games world is based on real life and the details are just *chefs kiss*

THE GAME IS DENSE WITH THEMATIC IDEAS. Besides the perspective the game tackles ideas of how trauma can affect a persons psyche and worldview  (as well how a persons trauma affects the way they interact with the world which in turn can affect the world as well), grief, societal values, historical revisiniosm and so much more. The game tackles SO MANY topics in an interesting manner, it is thematically just as dense as it is storywise as well.

I also love how the games thematic parts work in harmony with the story rather than one overshadowing with the other. Its super refreshing honestly where a games themes and story are both rich and I don’t have to pick one over the other.

Lastly I ADORE the games central message (or at least what I see as the central message anyway): The world’s fucked up and most people want to fix it, but what they deem fixing differs and because of that they go into conflict or outright war rather than trying to find a common ground. Everyone wants a better world but no one can agree what a better world truly means  so they fight over it. It was a theme that not only resonates with my personal values but also hit me REALLY hard when I first played it as it’s a theme that I found incredibly relevant and reflective of our own world during the time I played the game for the first time.

So yeah. I made this post since there’s SO MUCH neat things about the game, its gameplay and story that sadly get swept under the rug in favor of either arguing  which lord was right/wrong or complaining how the game is an unfinished, rushed and overambitious mess. Is 3h perfect? Hell no. But it’s a game that I hold near and dear to my heart and does genuinely SO MANY THINGS RIGHT, I’m sad no one talks about the genuine strengths the game has anymore, instead just complaining.

I’m not even joking when I say that 3h should be up there as heralded as one of the best, most ambitious and complex JRPGs alongside Xenogears, the first Xenoblade game, Suikoden and Trails series as whole along other such games. Its a shame the games reputation is less like those games and more like Persona 5s where everyone focuses more on its flaws and the fans being annoying than the fact the game does geniunely A LOT right. It’s just that good, ambitious game I love so much.

[mariaiscrafting]

I’ve finally realized why I like Internet Ruined Me the most out of the E-Girl Trilogy. It’s because this song is the one that seems the least satirical and the most genuine, and that genuineness makes it the most heart-wrenching.

Let me explain.

As most of us can probably tell, the E-Girl Trilogy is supposed to mostly serve as a satire of various stereotypes Internet guys in their 20s nowadays can oftentimes fit into- that is to say, incel or incel-like behavior, casual misogyny, lacking in social skills, befriending women only for romantic/sexual benefits, unacceptance of any self-blame, arrogance, etc. However, despite the many things that have led us to that conclusion of satire- 

Wilbur’s own explanation of his songs, his derisive attitude towards people who can relate to certain lines or verses, the word choice when describing the stereotypes in these songs -I always figured some part of the songs were genuine. Maybe Wilbur’s writing about the kind of man he used to be. Maybe he’s taking true emotions or stories that influenced YCGMA/MIWB; given some of the thematic similarities across the albums/collections, I wouldn’t doubt it. 

But out of the E-Girl trio, Internet strikes me as the one with the greatest degree of that genuineness. The melancholy isn’t just a characteristic of the narrator that the song plays with, via rhythm and word choice. Wilbur doesn’t sound like he’s actually making fun of most of the things he says in this song. There are a couple lines where Wilbur, the creator himself, makes fun of the narrator, as exhibited in the wording and delivery of “I know you want 6′4″ but one foot more and I’ll almost be tall enough,” and of, “sexual enough, but not enough to scare me.” But for most of the song, the character/narrator simply relays his thoughts, and where there is any derision, it sounds more like self-loathing than Wilbur, the creator, deriding the character. It’s so different from the jovial tone of Your New Boyfriend, or the structure and sarcastic tone of I’m in Love With an E-Girl. When Internet’s narrator makes fun of himself, it’s not really making fun; it’s just... sad.

I guess what I mean is that Internet feels more introspective than the other two songs because this isn’t a guy hating on another guy; it sounds like a guy who just hates himself. Maybe that’s why this song makes me want to sink into the nearest cushion, close my eyes, and clear my mind whenever I hear it. As someone well-acquainted with self-loathing, this entire song makes so much sense to me. Not in the sense that you might think; I don’t relate to the misogyny or particular brand of depression inherent to men my age who are disillusioned by life and feel aimless (oftentimes leading to radicalization, whether that be into leftism, the alt-right, taking the red pill, etc), 

What I can relate so much to, is the judgement of one’s self in such a negative light, and then stating those judgements as if they were merely neutral observations. This kind of person knows every single destructive behavior they partake in and every single addiction they have that makes them a useless member of society; they don’t have enough will to change or get rid of them, but they do have enough mental energy to detest themselves so deeply for them that the statement “I fucking suck” seems as neutral a fact as “the sky is blue.” This kind of person wants desperately for the person or people they’ve attached themselves to to care about them, or show them any ounce of attention, so they go to invasive, destructive lengths to get that attention. They know what they’re doing and thinking is insane, and they know they’re a threat to their self and to others because of the destructiveness of their actions. This kind of person sometimes flips into arrogance out of self-preservation, which seems contradictory to the self-loathing, but is just a natural product of the self-aggrandization of one’s own thoughts to such an extent that you think everything you think is fact.

It’s a kind of miserable I get, and every time this song has looped while writing this, I’ve gotten one step closer to realizing the meaning behind every single word in this song. I used to think it was just another satire, another caricature of the kind of sad, almost-incel most people make fun of now. But, no. This song is so much more than that...