#i mean obviously i would still feel sad about people going hungry bc no one should experience that but i could be a more rational sad about

[perilegs]

HELLO?!?!??!??????

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[supercantaloupe]

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well  i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne? 

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person. 

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family. 

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible. 

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

Me making headcanons for friendships that get little to no screentime but I’m way too invested in anyways? More likely than you’d think 🥰 (it’s been a while since I’ve done a long ass headcanon post so let’s fuckin goooooooo)

Gonna start with the one I think about the most often (platonic shouchako):

After Midoriya and Iida become friends with Todoroki, obviously Uraraka wants to be his friend too since he’s important to her two closest friends

She starts inviting to him to do things with her, like joining lil competitions with classmates and baking and shit

Todoroki is confused why she’s suddenly inviting him to do all these things with her but he finds her to be pleasant company so he goes along with it

They actually make a good team, especially when they’re motivated (which since Uraraka is very competitive and Todoroki is fairly competitive himself, is often). They destroy their classmates at shit like class water gun fights and prank wars. They are a truly terrifying duo and the rest of the class is wary at best whenever they’re on the same team

One day Uraraka offhandedly refers to Todoroki as her friend and Todoroki’s like “??? You wanna be my friend?” and Uraraka’s like “uhh I already am your friend? What did you think I was doing all this time?” and Todoroki (who hasn’t really made friends outside of the context of fighting)’s like “oh. Thank you” and maybe smiles a little

Uraraka is overcome with the strong feeling that she would die for him (Iida and Midoriya are like “join the club”)

ANYWAYS they like training together since Uraraka specializes in close combat and Todoroki specializes in ranged combat, and they spar fairly often

They have a running bet over who will defeat the other in training more by the end of the year. It’s low stakes (the loser just has to make the winner their favorite food), but they like the competition

Uraraka learns that Todoroki has a sweet tooth, so she asks Sato to teach the two of them to bake, and baking together kinda becomes their thing, it’s relaxing and they enjoy it. They do it both for fun and when one of them has a bad day

Todoroki buys Uraraka little gifts, like he’ll see her favorite type of mochi at the store and get it for her or he gets her a Kirby plushy because “it looks like her” (Uraraka jokingly chases him around for that one)

They commiserate with Iida about Midoriya’s bone breaking habits and general self destructive tendencies and the three of them team up to try and get him to care for himself more. They also team up with Midoriya to get Iida to be less hard on himself. They are the Midoriya And Iida Support And Appreciation Squad.

Uraraka thinks Todoroki’s sense of humor is fucking HILARIOUS and Todoroki takes advantage of this to try to make her laugh at inopportune times (almost no one believes her when she complains about this because they’re like “Todoroki? Making jokes? Seems unlikely.” Uraraka has decided that he is the incarnation of evil). She swears revenge on him every time though the revenge is usually something silly like sneak attacking him to ruffle his hair so the colors are all messed up and it sticks up funny

She’s actually one of the people he texts most often, both while they’re at school and as pro heroes (while they both deeply care about their friends Todoroki is the type to accidentally fall out of contact if other people don’t initiate, and though busy Uraraka refuses to let that happen).

Sometimes he sends her weird ass memes at odd hours of the night & when she wakes up the next morning she’s like “what the fuck. Todoroki what does this mean.” He usually just sends her :) in return which explains absolutely nothing.

If anyone ever insults one of them within the other’s earshot, it’s on sight. Uraraka got detention for a week after punching a second year who said Todoroki’s scar was ugly, and Todoroki got detention for two weeks after icing someone who made fun of the state of Uraraka’s clothes. Neither one of them can bring themselves to regret it.

When Uraraka has a bad day, Todoroki is good at silently offering her support by being near her, sometimes giving off heat or cool if she’d benefit from it, and not asking her questions but being willing to listen to what she has to say if she wants to tell someone about what’s bothering her

When Todoroki has a bad day, Uraraka notices and gives him space but also reminds him that his friends love him and offers him an opportunity to talk about what’s bothering him if he wants to + says she’ll punch whoever made him sad (he has no doubt that if he wanted her to, she’d actually do it, no matter who it was that was bothering him, which is an oddly heartwarming thought)

Whenever Iida or Midoriya teases one of them, they playfully go “friendship ended with (Iida/Midoriya), (Uraraka/Todoroki) is my new best friend” then laugh (Uraraka) or look outwardly blank while hiding secret amusement (Todoroki) when Iida/Midoriya is thrown off guard and/or jokingly tries to “get their best friend back” (they r all best friends actually so this is of course all in good fun :’) )

Todoroki knows how to braid because Fuyumi and his mom taught him in an attempt to create some nice memories while Uraraka doesn’t know how since her hair has never really been long enough to braid. However there’s a period of time where Uraraka hasn’t been able to cut her hair for a while since she’s been so busy, and her front hair pieces have started blowing into her eyes. When she complains to Todoroki about this and says she’d braid it back if she knew how to, Todoroki offers to do it for her and teach her how. She enthusiastically accepts, and brags to the rest of the class how good Todoroki is at braiding (which may start a trend of class 1a asking Todoroki to braid their hair - even though most of them can do it themselves - but he doesn’t mind). Todoroki teaches her how to braid and at first she uses his hair for practice, but she picks it up quickly and now likes to braid Tsuyu’s hair for her. They still occasionally braid each other’s hair for fun though

When Uraraka discovers Todoroki’s kind of touch starved but actually seems to like physical affection from his friends, she makes it her mission to give him more of it by ruffling his hair and playfully nudging him and hugging him sometimes. The rest of the class picks up on this and starts joining in, to Uraraka’s (and Todoroki’s secret) delight

Todoroki can and will fall asleep everywhere, and once that starts including “on his friends”, Uraraka makes it her mission to make sure nobody wakes him up unless absolutely necessary bc he’s Tired and deserves a rest

Uraraka is hungry a lot, especially when she overuses her quirk, and though she tends to ignore it and say that she’s used to it, Todoroki starts carrying snacks around with him and slipping them into her bag/locker/pockets/onto her desk when she’s not looking. She’s sure he’s the one doing it but she’s never caught him and he denies it every time she asks him about it, so she can’t really do anything about it except eat the snacks

Todoroki helps Uraraka study sometimes because Iida is great but he’s not necessarily great at figuring out why she’s struggling with certain concepts and Midoriya is great but he tends to latch onto a small detail of the assignment and ramble about it while forgetting what he was originally trying to explain and Yaoyorozu’s great but her study group is already pretty big and Uraraka doesn’t necessarily want to add another person to her plate or be in such a big group since she’d get distracted, meanwhile Todoroki’s pretty decent at identifying the roots of problems and explaining them and he’s quiet enough otherwise that he makes for a pleasant study partner. Her class rank has actively improved because of this, and she made him soba to thank him for his help

I’ll probably add more in the future but when I tried to post this a few days ago tumblr acted like this didn’t exist and tried to convince me it was deleted or smth so I’m gonna post it now while I can actually see it anyways appreciate shouchako friendship!!

[originalcontent]

Well. Forgot to make our final pathologic post, because we did it, we finished the game. We just played all the remaining days at once. Not going to go super hard on the plot details bc if you know them then you know them, all I can say is holy shiiiiiiit this was such a good story/mystery/choice/everything.

First order of business: casualties.

All the children except Grace survived. When we had five panaceas, we chose Sticky, Murky, Khan, Notkin, and Capella, and we weren't able to find any more shmowders until it was too late. Taya was lucky and Grace wasn't. I feel kinda bad but also I don't know what more we could have done. God all of the kids and their final conversations when they all think they're going to die, they're so sad and sweet and I love them all so much.

The thing I'm SUPER bummed about is that Stakh, Lara, and Bad Grief all died. Like we did everything we could for all of them, but I'm still sad about it. One regret from this game is that I think we should have spent more time with them. I should have tried to make things right with them. I was so focused on the kids, and I don't regret that, but also I kept putting other things before them as well and I should have tried harder.

The other casualties were Big Vlad, Maria Kaina, Eva Yan, and Anna Angel, who was apparently a character but I think we literally never spoke with her in our playthrough. And Aglaya, although I don't know how we could have saved her either. Everyone else survived. I don't know the typical death toll for this game, but we did better than I was expecting us to, all things considered.

Oh wait, Nara's also dead. That wasn't an incredibly disturbing scene or anything. Like I'm getting ahead of myself a bit but jesus the kinfolk terrify me sometimes. My sister mentioned that it's probably a very different game if we commit super hard to exploring their plotline, and she's probably right. That whole sequence though... the blood, the hearts... it's a lot. I'm not going into detail bc if you've played the game then you already know what's down there, but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I feel like replaying this game knowing everything would put a LOT of earlier conversations into new context.

Still! That was the only place we death spiraled this time! Death spiral escaped! That's probably due in no small part to the presence of the soldiers. Like yes they're terrible and them burning people alive is terrifying, but also we discovered the strategy that every time we were attacked by someone we could just have them chase us past a soldier who would protect us. We still had to sneak around a lot but overall it meant we had a lot fewer fights.

The polyhedron was gorgeous. We probably wasted a lot of time visiting it, but it was wonderful. I wanted to go back when all the kids were there but they didn't let us. Super into the earth/sky dichotomy of Notkin's and Khan's gangs.

Block was sure something. When I first met him he was meeting with my three [living :(] best friends but none of them would talk to me. Anyway. When he arrives everyone's saying they loved him, then later on we accidentally walk into the most obvious coup ever, and then the next day he's back in charge like nothing happened. And then on the last day there's this massive violent internal conflict? Plus the whole thing with him and Aglaya (weren't they working together in the prologue?) and plus they keep giving us heart attacks saying they're going to level the town and then changing their minds. Thank god for Changeling who was apparently the single persuasive voice in saving everyone? I guess? We've had our ups and downs but honestly she was waaaaaaay more reliable than Daniil at the end.

I told her I'd help her cure a patient in the hospital, but I didn't have any panacea or shmowder so in the end I couldn't, but afterwards I was glad I hadn't helped her. I already felt terrible I didn't have enough living blood for all the children when they were all spontaneously infected, and it would have been so much worse if I had been able to help another but I'd wasted it on a random person earlier.

... Is Aglaya in love with Artemy? Or are they just two agents who recognize said agency in one another? Everyone spent all game hyping her up as some sort of monster but she was my friend and she listened to me. And she died trying to save everyone I guess.

The kids...just. All of them. Notkin and Capella both told us to let them die but to make sure Khan was okay. Murky saying she'd loved Artemy since the first time she saw him. God everything they said and did I love them. I can't imagine playing this game as either of the other characters because I can't imagine going through this town and not carrying deeply about all the kids like this.

So I think...I think I made my choice long before I actually made the choice itself, you know? There was only ever going to be one choice.

Day 11 was the first and only day when I knew exactly what I had to do. I mean I guess it was in the stage directions and everything. Thank you dear Fellow Traveler for feeding us the night before--did you know we'd never visited the dead item shop until the last night? Probably would have made finding food and medicine a lot easier. But anyway, when the day began I didn't quite understand the significance of the stage directions because the Haruspex looking for couriers did not sound like the dramatic climax to the story that I knew this day was supposed to be. Still, I looked for the couriers.

I think I visited the three locations in the order I was supposed to. Seeing Daniil like that with his gun and bloody hands, sitting in a room of corpses...hearing him ramble...oh man I was so conflicted, this whole game I'd thought that even though I teased him, I would always ultimately back his plays because I trusted him and I knew that ultimately he wanted to help people too. Hearing him tell me what he wanted me to do then at the end of everything...he honestly scared me a bit.

The Changeling and I seemed much more on the same page at the end of everything. Being in the middle of a field with armed soldiers closing in from all sides was kind of terrifying though. I didn't stay to witness what she did with them. She’s okay though, she’s alive.

Wild goose chase for the final courier eventually took me to the bar where I met an injured bandit and was able to actually perform a surgery for the first time in the entire fucking game. I really enjoyed that because I'm supposed to be a fucking surgeon.

Meeting my understudy fucking killed me. I cannot BELIEVE that the final courier who was carrying the only file that could save the whole town was canonically murdered by the understudy of the protagonist. How the hell is that a real plot point, do you have any idea how much I adore that, that is more meta than literally anything else that has happened in this whole game. I fucking died. I definitely have been playing this game as Artemy rather than as Actor, and I think that made the whole scene even funnier. His whole thing about taking a new direction with the character, the whole "you're getting paid for this??", the fact that Artemy was so offended by literally every aspect of his existence that we didn't even know what to criticize. At the end I was like "yeah I'm definitely going to kill this guy" but we're nice people and we let him surrender. His inventory consisted of a rusty scalpel, a hazelnut, and a single piece of twyre, which was the most incredible parody of Artemy's inventory that I can imagine and killed me all over again.

The kin folk all met with me and begged me not to let them die. Maybe things could have been different, but again, I knew my choice and deep down I always knew what we were going to choose at the end. When you start the game, day one, there are two things that are immediately striking about the town. One, it's full of living folklore, and two, it's full of children, and those are the two things that make the town special and wonderful. When you look back on it all, there was only ever one way this could all end.

The dead courier (murdered by my own fucking understudy rather than an actual character, still dying) was a dramatic sight. It's lucky I had to sleep then or I probably wouldn't have found him.

After I made my choice, the disease tried to murder me. It infected literally every district I moved through, manifesting in every single passageway. I just chugged my tinctures and moved as well as I could, because fuck you disease, you are nothing to me. Obviously at that point nothing really could stop me. I considered saving in the cathedral, but what would be the point?

Day 12 was so bright and peaceful and nice. I could just walk around for once with no fear of getting lost or hungry or running out of time. I'm still really sad my childhood friends weren't alive to share it with me, but I enjoyed talking to everyone. My favorite little end conversations were Taya and Notkin for sheer adorable factor, Yulia so Artemy could say he wanted her to be the one to tell his story and to make it as undramatic as possible (fuck you Mark), Daniil because it was super cute and I’m glad that after it all things are okay between us and I got to make fun of him for trying to talk in my language, and Andrey and Peter because literally nothing made me feel better about my choice to destroy the polyhedron than listening to them complain about it.

And then the theater, where I talked to everyone who'd died and to Mark Immortell. He told me he'd need to try again with a different protagonist (gee I wonder who he could be referring to, such a shame we'll never know) and that I could go into the back and take off my mask now. I considered it for a bit, but it didn't feel right, so I decided that I was Artemy and I went back outside.

This game was wonderful. It was beautiful. It has such a fundamental understanding of what theater is and what makes something theatrical (lose me with your cinematic games, theater and cinema are completely different things and the former is impossibly beautiful but is also almost impossible to recreate when not in person). It's worldbuilding was immaculate, and for all the stress it caused I'm really happy for it.

I say this every time, but I love Artemy so fucking much. Give me a character who is a monster and a healer and who is full of anger but also so much love, and then just have him adopt 7+ children why don't you. He is so wonderful and good and interesting and I am in love with him.

(Edit: And then like a month later, just now, we went back to our last save and threw the documents in the trash so we could play through the other ending. I think the diurnal ending is definitely the better one, although it was nice to see the polyhedron again and to talk to all the game developers. <3 Also the goodbyes to Daniil and Notkin were super sad in that one, I did what Daniil wanted, he won’t even stay? This is so sad.)

Well that's our pathologic playthrough. We know there's a lot we missed and we may return to the game at some point. (Looked up a plot summary afterwards and there’s just so much else. Must save my childhood friends next time.) Game is very good though. It's been wild. Marbles sometime in the next few days. :)

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[trensu]

Episode 28: The One where LXC Loses his Title as Greatest Wingman

THAT’S RIGHT GUYS

WE’RE HERE

THE ONE THAT HOLDS ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS, CLASSIC WANGXIAN SCENES IN THE WHOLE SHOW

THE SCENE THAT JUST BURSTS WITH WANGXIAN DOMESTICITY AND WE DIE FROM THE SHEER FLUFFINESS OF IT ALL

Shockingly this VERY IMPORTANT wangxian moment doesn’t start until the 34min mark.

So we’re gonna power through those first 34min to get to the parts that actually matter

We’re still at the burial mounds

Emotional Yungmeng Bro Drama happens

It’s very upsetting

There’s a lot of feelings everywhere.

I can’t defend you if you keep this path, jc protests 

You can’t defend me? Then Leave me, wwx says, tell the world i defected, he says, my actions are no longer associated with the jiang clan he says

WHO KNEW BROTHERLY LOVE COULD BE SO PAINFUL, AMIRITE GUYS? HAHA *CHOKES BACK SOBS*

LET’S SKIP AHEAD!

Jc’s gone, maybe it’ll get better now??

A-YUAN TIME!!

Oh no, little a-yuan is hungry!!

Wen qing gives him the last of the fruit because a-yuan activated her Good Big Sister instincts

Ah, look at his happy face as he takes the fruit!

The wwx shows up with MORE fruit and a-yuan does the leg-grabby thing!!

ADORABLE 

Great, now we get Emotional WWX and WQ Bonding Time

SHE TRIES TO GIVE HIM AN OUT

SHE TRIES TO GET HIM BACK TO HIS FAMILY

Wwx is not having it so instead he acts all charming and teases her until the matter is dropped

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Other stuff happens, boring boring boring

Moving forward

Yunmeng bro fight scene!

The first half was pretty neat and then they did a bunch of funky flying moves that had me like, why, why must you do this, please stop and give me wangxiantics instead

They did not stop

But they did do some wonderful Twirling, so I guess i can forgive them a little

Oh, sadface, a paperman gets viciously slaughtered by jc

(@theuntamednarrator​ pointed out that this fight scene PARALLELS a future fight scene on a moonlit rooftop THAT WE’RE NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SAD)

Wwx, at some point in this fight is all: oh look, i’ve been impaled

(what’s a little light stabbing between siblings, amirite?)

More stuff happens that we don’t care about

But we’ll take a moment to laugh at wwx here

Wwx is like, imma hide this gaping stab wound from the world’s greatest doctor by distracting her with potatoes

It doesn’t quite work bc wen qing immediately makes a grab for him

Wwx is scandalized!

Wwx: Men and women shouldn’t be improperly intimate!!

Wwx: you suddenly doing this makes me scared for my virtue which i’m obviously saving for lan zhan!

She backs off for half a second; then wwx winces but he recovers quickly by being all i’m totally fine, look at how fine i am, i’m flinching because of HUNGER PAINS, NOTHING ELSE

If he weren't so charming and adorable none of this would've worked

Other non-wangxian nonsense occurs

Some more non-wangxian stuff

A scene featuring Disaster Het Jin Zixuan and our Perfect Elder Sister Jiang Yanli

Jzx is all, i know carp tower isn’t your home but i’m willing to build another lotus pier here for you

...ugh, fine, okay, maybe you’ve grown on me a little by now, you huge Disaster Het BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING JYL HAPPY, YOU HEAR ME?? ALL BETS ARE OFF IF YOU MAKE HER CRY AGAIN

We’ve made it through the 34 minutes!!

GET READY GUYS

We’re at a tea house in Yiling! There’s lots of people! AND THEY’RE ALL TRASH-TALKING MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY WTF

But hey, look in the background is lwj, (angrily) listening to people trash-talk our sunshine boy.

God, he sits so straight, it looks almost painful

I mean, in terms of posture

We know he’s not straight in any other way lol

The only time we get full body shots of him in this scene is when he’s blurred and out of focus in the background, which is interesting

When he’s at the forefront of the scene, it’s all close-ups of his (angry) face 

But even with the close ups, we only see parts of his face. One half of his face at a time, close-ups on the eyes (or one eye) specifically at times

It’s not until the end of that teahouse scene that we get to see a full shot of him and that’s only when he’s had Enough of people slandering his soulmate and slams his (poor innocent) tea cup onto the table and (viciously) glares at the gossipers

He leaves the teahouse (angrily)

Lwj is (angrily) walking through the marketplace 

He walks past some random lady and the lady turns the hell around so fast and BLATANTLY CHECKS HIM OUT, oh god, that’s HILARIOUS

(you are not alone in this, lady, YOU ARE NOT ALONE)

Then, we have one of the best tropes of all, ACCIDENTAL CHILD ACQUISITION

THERE IS A CHILD CLINGING TO HIS LEG

IT’S A-YUAN

A-YUAN HAS SURGICALLY ATTACHED HIMSELF TO LWJ

WE ALL LOVE HIM FOR IT

Wwx does not notice his child is missing bc he is haggling, which is important but maybe not as important as missing a child. 

Omg the look of panic on his face when he finally realizes a-yuan is gone gutted me for half a second. 

REALIZING YOU’VE LOST A CHILD IN A CROWDED PLACE IS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD, OKAY

But i get over this quickly bc WWX FINDS A-YUAN CLINGING TO LWJ’S LEG. 

GUYS

GUYS

THIS SCENE

THIS SCENE MAKES ME SO HAPPY

IT’S MADE OF RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES AND ITTY BITTY KITTIES

Okay, let's break it down because there’s JUST SO MUCH GOOD STUFF HERE WE NEED TO PROPERLY APPRECIATE ALL OF IT

FIRSTLY, lwj’s face.

There is a loudly crying child clinging to his leg

He is surrounded by nosy talkative strangers (PARENT strangers!!) all Judging™ him for his (lack of) parenting skills

And lwj’s face is about as External Panic as lwj can make it bc our boy is FREAKING OUT

THERE IS A CRYING CHILD

LATCHED ON TO HIS LEG

STRANGERS ARE ASSUMING HE’S THE FATHER

BUT HE ISN’T

THEY DON’T LISTEN WHEN HE TELLS THEM HE ISN’T

THEY SAY THEY HAVE THE SAME NOSE?? THEY SAY HE RESEMBLES THIS STRANGE UNKNOWN CRYING CHILD SOMEHOW?? 

AND WORSE STILL, THEY’RE SAYING HE’S A BAD FATHER

THEY’RE ALL LIKE, OH LOOK HE SCOLDED HIS POOR KID AND NOW WON’T EVEN HUG HIS KID TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER??

HIS FACE, OMG

HIS FACE SCREAMS: DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP 

LWJ IS DYING INSIDE

AND HE KIND OF WANTS TO DIE OUTSIDE

(There’s one guy who kinda takes pity on him and was like, ah, he’s your first kid, huh? I was like that with MY first kid but now i know everything after my wife gave a few more births. It’s a learning process!)

And ohoho, boy, does lwj learn (later, after horrible horrible things happen)

Secondly, WWX IS HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE WATCHING ALL OF THIS UNFOLD BEFORE HIM

HIS SMILE IS HEART-STOPPINGLY BEAUTIFUL

HE’S STIFLING GIGGLES

IT’S SO CUTE I WANNA DIE

Finally, wwx takes pity on poor lan zhan

I would like to point out that he takes pity on lan zhan only after  the crowd of Judgy Parents start asking A-Yuan where his mother is

And like, i don’t want to fall into the pit of heteronormativity and stereotypical gender roles, BUT THAT’S HILARIOUS

Wwx: Lan zhan!

Lwj looks up and the world fades away when he sees wwx, with his cute little smile, making his way towards him in slo-mo

Like, literally slow motion and literally the world fades away until basically only wwx is in focus, THIS IS HOW LWJ SEES WWX ALL THE TIME, OMG IT’S AMAZING

AND OF COURSE ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

I’M SCREAMING, EVERYTHING IS GREAT

LWJ STARES AT HIM WITH SUCH YEARNING

And even when they’re right in front of each other, they KEEP STARING AT EACH OTHER, SOAKING UP EACH OTHER’S PRESENCE

WHICH I LOVE, but also there’s a crying child right there maybe take care of him??

Wwx: lan zhan, what a coincidence! What are you doing i yiling?

WHAT DO YOU THINK HE’S DOING IN YILING, WWX

IT’S NOT LIKE HIS SOULMATE LIVES AROUND THAT AREA OR ANYTHING

Lwj: night hunt. Passing by.

Short and sweet and to the point

I’m convinced it’s because his brain has short-circuited from the double whammy of Accidental Child Acquisition and OMG My Beautiful Soulmate is With Me and Smiling

Lwj: ....this child

Wwx: ah, yes, this is MY son

I read a post on tumblr that says the actual translation of that line was more like “ah, yes, i gave birth to this child”

Which would explain lwj’s absolutely stunned and confused expression

I mean, the fact that he doesn’t immediately dismiss this as the nonsense that it is, is absolutely HILARIOUS to me

Like, for a split second there he honestly believed wwx??

He must’ve been like, wait, is this a side effect of demonic cultivation??!?!?

That doesn’t sound right but i don’t know enough about demonic cultivation to dispute it

But then wwx starts giggling at him which gives away the game

Wwx: hey, lan zhan, what did you do? Why is a-yuan crying?

Lwj: I didn’t do anything

Wwx: ah, i see what happened. Lan zhan, as pretty as you look, you still have resting bitch face. 

(no for real, wwx called him pretty, i died a little when i heard him say it and i’m pretty sure lwj did too)

Wwx: a-yuan doesn’t know any better so of course he’d look at you and start crying!!

Lwj stares at a-yuan (who is now clinging adorably to wwx) and you can see in his face that his New Life Mission is to get A-Yuan to Like Him.

It is IMPERATIVE that this small child Like Him. Not for any particular reason, of course. But this Must happen.

Even if it means having to go to an Ancient Fantasy China plastic surgeon to get his resting bitch face problem resolved

THANK GOD WE DON’T HAVE TO RESORT TO THAT

Wwx kneels down to comfort a-yuan and lwj watches him interact with this small child and VISIBLY SWALLOWS before looking away

Like it was too much cute to handle

Like oh shit, i want wwx’s children

Like oh shit, i want to be a dad???

GUYS WE SEE THE EXACT MOMENT LWJ REALIZES HE WANTS KIDS

THANK YOU WORLD FOR BLESSING US WITH THIS MOMENT

Okay, quiz time! 

How do we make a small child stop crying?

Answer - Distraction!

What is the best distraction for a small child?

Answer - TOYS

Wwx pulls a-yuan to a toy stall 

The music here gets all upbeat and playful. (In fact, it’s the same music that played in the ‘flower petals rain on LWJ’ scene in The One where NHS is Total Cockblock omg i just had to reference my own guide to make sure that was the right episode lol this is exactly why i’m making this). I love this music!!

So they admire the toys and wwx picks up one of them and is like, do you like this one?

A-yuan of course says yes bc all kids love toys

Then wwx is like, cool, and proceeds to drag a-yuan away from the toy stall without the toy

SAD FACE A-YUAN :(

Lwj sees Sad Face A-Yuan and does the Lan Clan version of running (aka lengthening his strides and quickening his steps slightly)

Lwj: wei ying, why didn’t you buy it for him?

Dude, he sounds almost accusatory here, it’s GREAT

Wwx: ??? why should I???

Lwj: you asked him if he wanted it, doesn’t that mean you’re going to buy it?

Wwx: asking is asking, buying is buying. Who says i have to buy something just because i asked about it?

Wwx, lwj has a point tho. It’s kinda mean to lead a kid on like that 

And here lwj sounds all hesitant (and shy?? maybe??) like he doesn’t want to scare a-yuan again. He looks at him briefly

Lwj: which one...do you want.

Then when a-yuan doesn’t immediately burst into tears, he speaks more confidently.

Lwj: among those, which one did you want?

And a-yuan points to the toy he wants with all the confidence small children have when  they know they’re about to get exactly what they want

Omg, lwj looks at wwx as soon as he sees which toy a-yuan wants

It’s a look that says I’M GETTING THIS CHILD A TOY AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

And wwx just beams at him like a ray of sunshine!! HE’S MELTING INSIDE, YOU CAN TELL

HE’S ALL LIKE, OMG LAN ZHAN IS SO SWEET WITH CHILDREN

OMG LAN ZHAN WOULD BE A GREAT DAD

OMG I WANT LAN ZHAN TO CO-DAD A-YUAN WITH ME

Cut to a-yuan gleefully playing with his new toys 

He and wwx are play fighting with cute little wooden swords and it’s SO ADORABLE I’M GONNA DIE

And lwj watches them for moment with the FONDEST LOOK ON HIS FACE

A-yuan notices that lwj is there again and immediately ditches wwx to cling to lwj’s leg

Smart, kid, smart

Butter up the rich guy who makes wwx smile

Wwx laughs: lan zhan, congrats! My kid likes you! He only hugs the legs of his favorite people and then never lets go

Lwj: *internally probably* i wish YOU’D hug me and never let me go

Also

YES! LIFE MISSION COMPLETE. WWX’S CHILD LIKES ME

Wwx: you should ditch your night hunt and have a meal with me

Lwj: a meal?

Lwj: *internally probably* OMG DID HE JUST ASK ME OUT ON A DATE?? AND HE CALLED ME PRETTY EARLIER??? TODAY IS THE BEST DAY

He then pretends to hesitate bc YOU GOTTA PLAY IT COOL

CAN’T CLUE HIM IN ON HOW DESPERATELY YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM WITH YOU FOREVER

BE COOL, LWJ, BE COOL, BE COOL

Wwx: c’mon, we hardly see each other! We can reminisce about the old days! It’ll be my treat~!

Wwx what, YOU HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING

Wwx grabs lwj’s arm and drags him away

Lwj’s brain rn: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But they run off WITHOUT A-YUAN??

Good thing a-yuan is quick on his feet, god damn

AND THAT’S THE END OF ONE OF THE BESTEST EPISODES OF THE SHOW

GOD I NEEDED THIS AFTER THE HELLSCAPE OF LAST EPISODE WHERE EVERYONE MADE ME ANGRY

And lets give a round of applause to our precious adorable A-Yuan who somehow managed to latch on to the one person in the entire town that is completely head over heels in love with wwx and who wwx has been pining for since their sad separation in the rain.

FOUR FOR YOU, A-YUAN. YOU GO, A-YUAN!!

Return to Masterpost

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XLI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I Want You Here

(9x02/9x03 2nd part/9x04/9x05)

Hello my friends! This is the second Destiel meta from season 9.

We are gonna talk about how Dean was worried about Castiel and he wanted him in the bunker ... Obviously we will talk about how their reunion was cocklblocked by Zeke (Gadreel).

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta! Love ya girl!

Let's start...

Human!Cas and sex

In episode 9x03, Castiel ended at the street, frozen, under the rain and hungry.

That's when April appears, showing him kindness, she offered him a jelly and peanut butter sandwich. I know it has to be the most delicious food in the world for this hungry poor ex angel, and also the representation of human's kindness.

But Castiel was deceived by this woman/reaper.

She showed him good actions, she took are of his wounds... She even listened him...

He felt comfortable with her, because she made him believe in her. Castiel opened his heart and confessed why he had ended like this... He talked about vanity, now, after his fall, he understood a lot of things...

Sorry... I just... Was drooling a little over Misha's perfection....

I'm back now.

APRIL: Well, all patched up, but, God, your delts are in knots. You got to relax.

Yeah, bitch, any excuse is a good excuse to touch our beautiful angel, right? 😒

CASTIEL: Ah, it's all new to me. Hunger. Cold. This feeling, being all alone.

APRIL: You're not alone tonight.

Aaaand you know what happens next.

But let's just stop in Castiel's words... He was feeling alone, a very cold sensation he wasn't use to. He was always that self secure angel, not needing anyone to do anything. And now, feeling the most sad side of humanity, our miseries, he feels a lot of things... But one of them was LONELINESS. (I just can't forget season 14 when he recalls this and said to Jack HE WASN'T ALONE, HE HAD SAM, DEAN AND HIMSELF, I just love his improvement.)

He had sex with April, when she lied to him. And not just that, but she began to torture him and she even killed him. It was a horrendous violent act and Castiel was exposed to that.

Next scene was Dean and Sam arriving... But it was too late...

The despair in Dean's face is eloquent. He is desperate, his voice cracked, and he's touching Castiel's shoulder and face. His Express changes when he realizes Cas is dead.

But we know what happened next, Zeke/Gadreel saves Cas to win more confidence from Dean.

Now... Let's continue with the sex over here...

The burritos scene is a classic between Destiel shippers because it's sexual innuendo and Dean's blatant facial expressions. And we had jealous!Dean too.

This had been analyzed by a lot of meta writers, so I won't add any new, because it was obvious that when Castiel came out from the shower ...

A very horny Dean imagining his hot "buddy" enjoying the water falling over his well formed naked body, and there you have that face there. Just for our inquisitive and attentive eyes... Why the camera would focus Dean and not Sam after the shower line? Because Dean is affected by that... And that's why we got that quote from the hunter, suggestively bitting the burrito (may a say a dick mirror? 🤣🤣) "It ain't all just burritos and burritos, my friend," like... There's dicks too, may I show you?

Dean feels more free to make this kind of approaches to Castiel, because he knows the boundary that was there separating them for being more, is gone now. Cas wasn't an angel anymore. And maybe Dean could teach him some about sex life.

Then, the scene switched to jealous!Dean when Castiel mentioned April.

Look at this, a very classic, we love this, that's why I will talk about it, even if you readed a lot of references... We are Destiel trash and we love it...

Watch... Cas says he had sex, Sam and Dean are surprised, but both of them reacts differently. Sam grimaced an UH! And immediately drifts his eyes to his brother, why? Because he wants to caught his brother's reaction, why?, Because he suspects his brother feels something more than just friendship for Castiel.

And Dean chocking with that burrito, hilarious, his serious and jealous face is fantastic, like if he was scolding Castiel for that, he even points at him "You had sex with April?" Is like YOU CHEATED ON ME?

Just for a few seconds, because, is good, is good for Castiel. He isn't a Virgen anymore... So he had tasted having sex like any human? That's a good thing!

Dean is proud and happy to have Cas there. Happy because maybe he will have an opportunity with Human!Cas who already had had sex with another human. Like... Possibilities are huge!

Obviously we had Zeke/Gadreel cockblocking the possibilities.

Not comfortable with the L word and ...

Let's jump a little to episode 9x02, at the beginning, Dean and Sam were talking about Cas, they were waiting still for him to arrive, Dean tried to show himself cool, saying Cas was a big guy.

But when the episode keeps going, we ha d a very important encounter between Dean and Abaddon. The dialogue was a foreshadow of Demon!Dean plot.

Abaddon wanted Dean's body to use it like meat suit.

She even asked...

ABADDON: It can get worse. Trust me. 'Cause once I'm on top, I'll make you watch. And I'll use your body. Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin? Or listened to a girl scream as you rip her guts out? Because you will. It's you and me, lover. We'll have a grand old time.

The infant blood just recalled to when Dean, with Cain's mark, killed the boy from the Steins family in the bunker.

But after this, we had Zeke/Gadreel saving the day, and this dialogue between them...

Dean is uncomfortable with the use of LOVE word. Maybe bc he isn't used to talk about it, or feel it. Or because his toxic masculinity, doesn't leave him to talk about it. So is a uncomfortable word, and it shows in his face.

In 9x04, after Dean kicked out Cas from the bunker, I will talk about this later (no, I didn't forget 🤣), Sam was confused about that fact, and the brother had a tiny conversation over it... And Dean said this important lines...

HE WANTS CASTIEL IN THE BUNKER WITH HIM, MORE THAN ANYONE, MORE THAN SAM OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE SAM AND CAS ARE JUST FRIENDS, BUT FOR DEAN, CASTIEL IS MORE THAN FAMILY, HE IS IN LOVE WITH CAS AND HE IS DISAPPOINTED AND SAS BECAUSE HE CAN'T HAVE HIM THERE, WITH HIM. And because he had wished to be more than friends, maybe physically, now than they didn't have any attachments or restrictions to do that.

Later, on the same episode, we will see Charlie and Dean in his room, and Charlie noticing this...

Okay, this is very exppsitional for Bi!Dean over here... Because Charlie (as always) is pointing that he has that collection of boobs but... He... Like... This isn't the real you.

And Dean says... Don't judge me.

Perfect my friends... I loved it.

And because Dean is still in the closet, as we saw with Charlie and the whole toxic masculinity, in 9x05 Dog Dean Afternoon, we had this piece of dialogue from the one talking dog, the Yorkie.

YORKIE: Ohh, a – a cowboy hat, leather pants. The dude's a total closet case.

Okay this reference is applicable to Dean too! Even in that freaking episode... We had a couple of things...

The Sad Destiel Scene

Okay, before ending this meta, I want to talk briefly about Dean kicking out Castiel from the bunker, because to me, it was a manipulation from Zeke, but it was a tool to keep Cas and Dean separated and create a little fight an resentment between them... Because the drama and everything... 😒

But we'll the scene is very sad, because CAS even made it word saying this...

My sweet little ex-angel there... He even pull back a chair for Dean... He likes to talk with Dean... He's such a cute and sweet and educated little ... Awwwww but he didn't know his heart was about to be ripped apart.

Look at his face!!!!!!!!!! Was Dean breaking his heart or what? Damn...

Okay... Circular narrative in which in season 8 Dean was in one sided love and Cas broke his heart, now in season 9 is in reverse. Castiel aknowledged by now his feelings, so I suspect he recognized his attraction to Dean was love. But... Now... Dean is kicking him off from the bunker... Without a good reason... Lying to him.

Can I die here... I won't bother you...

More Demon!Dean foreshadow (Miscellaneous)

I just wanted to out here two things I noticed...

In episode 9x04 we had a two man of letters from the past. They were partners and they were Sam and Dean mirror. One of them under the witch's powerful spell, tried to kill to Sam's mirror, and this was a foreshadow for Demon!Dean plot again, that time when he was trying to kill Sam in the bunker too.

Another little detail was what the monster said in episode 9x05 when he was fighting with Dean.

CHEF LEO: Well, I didn't mean to kill anyone – at first. But if people got in my way, they became collateral damage. Guess you eat enough predators, you start to become one. You are what you eat, right? [laughs]

This is a reference to Dean future transformation into a monster (with Cain's mark on him) and later into a Demon. The hunter that becomes what he hunts.

To Conclude:

Castiel's innocence and despair leads him to April, the reaper that deceives him by taking advantage of his human situation.

Dean wanted Cas to be with him in the bunker because he knew Human Cas and him could have maybe an opportunity to develop something more than just friendship.

Toxic Masculinity in Dean is manifested through a lot of piece of dialogues, showing us how hard will be for him to defeat that... Persisting till now... I hope not for too long. I guess episode 15x07 was very important to show us that toxicity is ending, and the whole Healing!Dean plot in season 14.

There were too some foreshadows for Demon!Dean and Cain's mark.

I hope you enjoy this one, see you in the next Chronicles!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica

If you want to be tagged, just let me know

If you want to read the previous volume from season 9, here is the link.

Buenos Aires December 11st 2019 4:59 PM

[27emailsicantsend]

Ok so I read ur muffy second kiss fic thing and I got an idea but I suck at writing so I thought I’d ask you to write it lol but like the idea is that Marty is always trying to be the brave one bc that’s his way of showing Buffy that it’s ok to be emotional but one day Marty has a bad day and it’s Buffy’s turn to be the comforter (this idea might suck oop)

Marty’s Loss: A Muffy One Shot

“Yeah, ok, thanks for letting me know,” Marty said as he hung up the phone. He turned around to see all of his friends laughing and having a good time. They had decided to go bowling again, but it was starting to feel the bowling alley was jinxed. He watched as the rest of the world faded around him and his friends seemed to be in slow motion.

Andi was making jokes, smiling wide as she watched Cyrus roll the ball granny-style down the lane. TJ playfully smacked Andi’s arm with the back of his hand telling her to “cut it out”. Jonah was sitting opposite them, talking to Amber. They were having a light-hearted conversation. And then there was Buffy. She was so relaxed. Her black curls bouncing as she held herself laughing with Andi, TJ, Cyrus.

Buffy was so real and raw. Marty couldn’t believe they had already been dating almost a month. Ever since she admitted she liked him, she became more available emotionally. She was never really bad at this, however. She was honest when she rejected Marty (Marty shuddered as he pushed this thought away), bold when it came to standing up for her friends, straightforward with liking Marty, and he’d even seen her get teary eyed when she was afraid he rejected her.

All he did was joke with her or get serious, but never really spoke about what upset him. Even when he was rejected (shudder), he just pushed her away and moved on quickly to Rachel. Which he now acknowledged was an extremely bad idea.

Rachel was here last time and made the bowling alley an extremely uncomfortable place for him to visit due to the bad memories. He agreed to come though, in hopes that his bad memories would be replaced with new ones. They were new memories, just not new good ones, after this phone call.

He continued to watch from a distance when suddenly he saw Buffy smile at him and wave him over. He smiled and walked up to her. She placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked, “hey, everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Whose turn is it?” Marty said quickly, faking a smile, hoping to brush past having to talk.

The kids understood he wanted a change in subject and Cyrus said, “yours!”

Marty looked up at the score board. He and Buffy were about tied (since it was obviously a competition), TJ was in second, and Amber was doing surprisingly really well. It’s not that he didn’t think Amber would be good at bowling... well, actually it was. She seemed a little preppy for his taste and Rachel was too. Rachel wasn’t good at bowling because “germs” and not the right color of bowling ball, so Marty was surprised Amber was taking to it so naturally and easily. He liked this side of her, she showed progress, unlike his ex.

Marty bowled a strike with no hesitation. He walked off the platform as Buffy walked on for her turn, saying competitively, “Weak. I’ll do better”.

Marty tried to be flirty, but he knew that his comeback had a layer of sadness in his voice. “Nice try, Driscoll”.

The gang continued to bowl a couple more turns for each person. Even in one game of bowling, with this many people playing it took forever. They should have split the amount of people into two teams to make it quicker, but they all wanted to be on the same game, so it took a lot longer. Because of the time, Marty started to get pretty hungry. He walked up to the food counter and ordered some taco tots, Buffy’s favorite.

While he waited for the food, he heard a voice next to him, “one order of taco tots, please”.

Buffy.

“Hey, Driscoll, couldn’t stand to see my score so you had to walk away?”

“Wasn’t that what you were doing?” Buffy said with a polite grin.

They stood in silence for a second and Buffy turned to look at him again. “Marty, are you sure you’re ok? You’ve been really quiet since that phone call. I can tell something is up”.

“Buffy, I promise, I’m fine. Let’s just enjoy this time with your friends, ok?”

Buffy bit her lip, contemplating. She nodded and said, “ok” quietly.

Both orders of taco tots were set on the counter and they both walked back together in an awkward silence.

Marty continued to watch and smile, trying not to seem too obvious he was sad. He noticed Buffy look over at him a few times and even thought he heard Andi and Cyrus discussing him and Buffy having relationship problems at one point. They hadn’t had any relationship problems so far and Marty didn’t consider this one at all. He was just sad and needed space and he wished his friends respected that a little more.

The game was finally starting to come to a close and so he thought everyone was going to be done. They all wanted to play another game, however.

Marty pretended to check his phone and said his mom needed him home, but that they should all stay. He walked outside and around the corner of the building where no one could see him. He slid to the ground, pulled his knees to his chest, holding them with his arm, and then buried his head into his knees. He began to cry. A lot.

He sobbed and sobbed. It was a quiet alley way, thankfully. The bowling alley was far from a lot of people and he was hidden behind a dumpster.

He couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t really have thoughts except for how sad he was and wondering how this could happen to him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He panicked, thinking it might be an employee and that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wiped the tears off of his face quickly with his sleeve and stood up. The moment he stood up he came face to face with Buffy.

She looked at him tenderly and then wrapped her arms behind his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began to cry again. He sobbed into her shoulder. He didn’t feel embarrassed at all by this, surprisingly.

He was scared to be emotional in front of her because she already carried so much of that weight on her own. She dealt with so much. School, friends, Andi leaving, coaching... he just wanted to root her on and be a good boyfriend. He was afraid if he was too dramatic it might chase her away. That she couldn’t handle him being sad, because she already had too many emotions of her own and with her friends she had to deal with.

But this felt different. He felt a unique comfort in her embrace. One that said she wasn’t going anywhere- figuratively and literally. She continued to hold him until his crying slowed. When it started to slow down, he pulled away, their arms still locked in their same positions however.

Buffy gave him a small smile that seemed to say, “I’m here. I understand. You don’t have to talk, but if you want to. I’m here”.

Marty smiled at her and said, “thanks”.

She gave a polite chuckle and said, “anytime”.

Marty loved that about Buffy. She knew what to do and what to say. She knew her limits with him. He felt comfortable opening up to her. He had to at some point. He sat back down against the wall, extending his legs. He looked up at Buffy and patted the ground next to him, furthest from the dumpster.

Buffy slid down next to him, this time her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She laid her head down on her knees, looking at him with sincerity.

Marty let out a small breath through his nose and looked ahead of him as he spoke. He knew that if he looked at Buffy, he wasn’t going to be able to keep his emotions in tact.

“My mom called. My grandma has been in the hospital the last two weeks. She finally passed”.

Buffy could have said something during the silence, but didn’t. Instead, she just kept listening.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her, Buff. I mean, I knew it was getting close, but I spent almost every weekend growing up at her house. Since my dad isn’t around anymore, she helped my mom to raise my sister and me”. Marty giggled. “She used to have a cookie jar. It had the same cookies in it my whole life, but my sister and I would fight over them every time we got there. We would race into the house. I remember grammy saying, ‘if you wanted the cookies so bad, you should have gone to the store and gotten them yourself, instead of running like heathens through the house’. Sometimes it had more colorful language than that, but you get the gist”.

Marty’s face dropped again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Buff. I am going to miss her so much. My grandpa is gone too, so now we have to clean the house, go through their belongings, my mom is going to have to do the work... on her.. own..” His voice began to trail as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why did this have to happen?” He asked, rhetorically.

Buffy finally answered. She didn’t have to, but it helped. “I don’t know, Marty. I don’t know why these things happen,” she said as she scooted close to Marty, wrapping an arm around him. “But, what I do know, is that I’m here for you. We are all here for you. You don’t have to fight your battles alone. In fact, remember when we first started talking again?”

Marty began to chuckle, “yeah and I wouldn’t stop blowing up your phone? I had it so bad”. His face began to turn red.

Buffy laughed with him, “yes, you were pretty smitten, but I don’t blame you because I’m pretty awesome”. Marty rolled his eyes, grinning. “Anyway, that day I kept telling you I was busy because I was at Cyrus’ grandma’s Shivah. It’s a long celebration or ceremony they do in memory of someone who has died. It was a beautiful event and I think it really helped people to mourn the loss. What I learned the most from it, though, was that it was ok to talk about your feelings and to remember those people for who they were. It’s ok to be sad, but also don’t be afraid to remember her either. She would have wanted that from you, I know it. I also know she loves you very, very much and is so proud of who you are today. I couldn’t be more proud”.

Buffy learned over and kissed him on the cheek. Marty smiled at her, as a way to thank her.

“I appreciate you telling me that, really. I needed to hear it. I don’t think too many people will see this emotion out of me, though. That’s not really who I am and it’s why I kept so quiet today- sorry about that, by the way. Thanks for listening to me, Buffy”.

“You’re welcome. I can see how hard this must be for you and I appreciate you being vulnerable. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this between us until you’re ready. You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone”.

Marty knew that was true, and he knew she wasn’t going to run in and tell everyone what she just talked to him about. She was the only person who seemed to understand what it was like not to want to cry in front of everyone, because she didn’t do it often either. She was the only person who gets that.

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 3: "This is a lying game. You have to be good at lying." - Michael

It’s sad bitch hours with your boy skinny penis!!!!!!!! Uhm I’m not in a good position I don’t think KSKSKSKSKSKSK Alex told me he, Caeleb, Evan, Jules, and JJ all have a 5 person alliance possibly forming,,, and if you do the math that’s 3/4 of the brigade,,,,, yk,, the one with Jules, JJ, Alex and some irrelevant bitch named ME!!!! Alex is reassuring me saying it’s all for the brigade, but I’m waiting for Jules or JJ to say something about it, or else I’m not gonna feel so good yk??? Like if it’s for the brigade then you should feel comfortable w telling me about it,, like basically all this is telling me is that I’m the most expendable member of the alliance but I die gress,,,,,, Speaking of the brigade idk how I feel about the brigade strategy ? I just feel like there are a lot of moving parts to it, and it lowkey feels like a selfish excuse to have more allies for yourself JSJDJSJSJJSSKS like,,, idk, plus I feel like there are more chances for flipping and I’m like blehhhhh. It’s dumb. Everything’s dumb. I’m dumb. I flopped in the bridge. I’m soooo dumb. Pls destroy me. I’m probs fonna throw this immunity to JJ bc WHILE I LOVE alex’s joking remark about blindsiding him at 18th, I feel like if I try and set it up for a JJ win then it’ll seem like he’s good w everyone and put a target on his back,,, idk!!! Idk. I just want some form of power. I’m hungry. Gimme gimme.

Omg me and Ali are SOOO close to the idol....!!!! unless its already been taken ugh but I was like almost there today but fell at 90 so he will prob get it which is cool better than anyone else !! altho would still be nice to have it hehe . tho knowing my idol history of wasting and being blindsided with it.. .maybe its for the best not for me to have it LOL

So its kinda awk last round I voted Noah I think most people did so now idek what to say to him ahhh . and now its a double tribal soo hopefully its just a repeat but. after this its prob a swap which is scary but I hope I atleast end up with ali or mitch or even jared, and from the other side my queen willow

omg Reuben "sandwich" Studdard, american idol season two WINNER helped me get that IDOL

We shockingly won immunity wow!! That at least saved us from going to tribal and kinda spared Noah if everyone was telling the truth to me before the results.

Then here comes double tribal and first of, it’s good we won immunity on the previous round because the double tribal is screaming a swap next and all tribes will probs be equal in og tribe member numbers. Secondly, if everyone is still in the same page then the target is still Noah.

Honestly tho, I kinda want to target Michael just cuz he threw my name out to Julia. But it’s difficult to go against the consensus even more so because of this twist.

Right now, I’m in an alliance with Jason and Julia which I’m gonna be loyal to. I’ve also got this thing going with Jared where we share information and I think he has something going with Michael? I’m also working my relationship with Ali and Benj, so I’m gonna keep them in my back pocket for now. I’m also a bit close with Mitch. That only leaves Michael and Noah as the people I haven’t really connected with. I mean did talk with Michael about academic and stuff but it’s still hard talking to him hahahaha. Talking to Noah is fine but like from what I’m getting he is the next to go, mainly because Jared and Michael were I think the ones who threw his name out among the others including to me, so it’s hard to become invested to talking to him :((

I’m trying to cover all my bases here, and not be a so oblivious on what’s happening in my tribe. Nicole G is my spirit animal!

me: I should at least try and keep this idol a secret

benj:

benj:

Me: OKAY I FOUND THE IDOL WOO

okay so.... its paranoia o'clock and julia is who the clock struck on.

"i think a couple others might put me as 1"

this is what she said when i told her i was putting her top of my list. this is freaking me out, because a) this means others think she is their top ally b) its just.... what? like... julia is obviously connected and this freaks me out.

in other news, my list for the challenge is probs gonna be this: julia > jared > ian > benj > mitch > jason > michael > noah

julia because she is my ally, jared/benj in 2nd and 4th because that is our plan, ian high because king, mitch/jason middle because kings, and then michael and noah because they are my biggest worries.

i think some shenanigans could happen with this challenge and a twist or something, i don't really know what to think. i don't think i want to win, i feel like i've already got a lot of attention from doing good in challenges, if i win this one thats going to get me even more unwanted attention.

but ya, so otherwise... benj is such a king, he is playing the kind of game (at least I think) that i always want to... just super social and nice, and like lowkey strategic. i think earlier on, i made jason my winner pick, i think he might be a lil' bit too inactive, i think i'm feeling ian or benj as a winner pick now. its defo not gonna be me, have you ever SEEN me play, i'm a whole mess.

okay so... nancy drew hat is on and i'm onto the biggest threat on our tribe. its Ian.

here is the evidence, it comes from two people who freak me out on this tribe. julia and jared.

STAGE 1: Jared sending his list (a choice...?)

This is apparently Jared's list. 1. Ian 2. Ben 3. Jason 4. Ali 5. Michael 6. Julia 7. Mitch 8. Noah

Couple of interesting things here. Jason is high, Ian is VERY high and Julia is low. Already my radar is ping-ping-pinging about Ian being high, because he has been on my radar before, he hasn't got far in games before by fluke, he is smart. Also, I've been feeling for a while (and have been talking to Benj about this), that Jared has other allies, other people he is working with (he is evidently playing multiple sides, but he is obvious so i'm not as fussed). Anyway, so Jared I've felt has been playing other angles, and now Ian is his top choice!

I think I did a smart today too. My 2nd/4th strategy. What it was, was for me/Benj/Jared to put each other 2nd and 4th on our lists, to not sabotage each others' chances of winning, but also not give away our alliance. It had two additional purposes, to allow me to put someone else 1st to build trust, and to see who they put first. Jared put Ian. which... is very interesting. very very interesting. This ties into theory #2

STAGE 2: Julia says Mitch is targeting her....

"Hello!!" - from Ian, at 00:41 "ummm mitch is throwing my name out" - from Julia, at 00:47

okay so this solidifies to me that Ian is defo playing SO smart. When I told Julia she was top of my list, she was.. notably quiet about where I am on hers. And like... i dont care jkalsfda, i don't want to win. But it means, in the very least someone else is first. So with that said, the question is a) who is top b) who told her about mitch. Now I had no idea Mitch was targetting Julia, I think its a dumb, dumb move, since his name has already been thrown out there versus Noah, so he needs to... play a whole lot smarter. But... someone obviously told Julia, and I know it wasn't me, it wasn't Benj (he likes Mitch). I am just now realising as I type this that Jared had Julia about Mitch on his list, so he couldve told her, but I am thinking it was Ian.

I was talking to Julia before her saying Mitch was targeting her. Its only when Ian came online that she knows this? I think Ian is working with everyone, playing it super super smart. I think he is playing all sides, but less blatantly than Jared.

STAGE 3: What the frick-a-frack do I do about this?

Okay so.... an important preface is that... I could be totally, totally misreading the situation. But I have felt since the start that Ian is a better player than he was letting on. But what do I do about it?  Well for starters, I need to look at numbers I know I have. Benj/Jared/Mitch I think are all in my corner, Michael/Jason I could hopefully swing, and Julia is tight with me, Noah.... Noah is tough because he trusts me but also... we like all voted him out last round so we will see what to do about that pickle. So I don't think Ian can make a move on me if he wanted to, and I can't make a move on him.

so we wait. I'm keeping Ian 3rd on my list, because I really really want to keep an eye on him, and wanna get in close. keep your friends close (benj/julia) and your enemies closer (ian). I love Ian, he is a real king, but I'm onto his winner shenanigans, and is he going to march to the end unopposed? Well...

okay hey freaks. my tribe? decided to all snort from the collective crack pile in the middle and lose their HEADS and its unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE.

first off, my cracked tin foil ian conspiracy? was CORRECT. benj also trusts ian! ian is playing EVERYONE, I'm on to him and I hope this challenge exposes him! I am ONTO YOU IAN! YOUR TRICKS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED.

in other news? budva tribe has lost their ENTIRE minds, and if we go to a double tribal with durmitor? we are going to fracture faster than you can say '18' (coincidentally also the placement i'm getting).

Here is the break down. Noah told Julia that Mitch threw her under the bus, and Noah wants to work with me & Julia. WHICH CRAP, I do not wanna work with Noah because I already voted for him. And in the grand scheme of things, having voted them out is an exceptionally poor foundation for an alliance.

If Mitch seriously threw out Julia's name to Noah, he is exceptionally foolish. WHY. he has already almost been the vote twice, he needs to just NOT AJKLDFASF. i just.... my tribe is driving me absolutely insane. Jared actually is like... back on this planet and being less scary, but Michael is off recharging in his robo-station and GONE, mitch/noah are losing their minds, Julia is leading charges and Ian is playing TOO WELL.

honeslee if its a combined tribal, budva is going to literally explode. explode.

i want to work with noah if he wants to work with me.... but i literally voted for him, how do I get back from that JKLASD. I also want to work with Mitch but he NEEDS to control his mouth, its causing problems. i just want everyone out except benj/jared/julia/jason, the other 4 can go BYEBYE.

So apparently Mitch leaked the vote to Noah and was attempting  to vote out Julia. So I talked to Ali, benj, Ian, and Noah about it and we are all voting Mitch. Depending on what happens at immunity 

(Continued) Mich and Michael were gunning for me??! RED ALERTT RED ALERT WEEEEE WOOOOOO WEEE WOOOOOOOO. Luckly I gathered the forces and we had the majority to vote Mitch. I might have managed to convince Michael to vote Mitch (maybe not? We will see tomorrow) but he doesn't trust me. Womp womp. I mean Michael was not in my immediate line of threats so I don't know why he wouldn't trust me. I guess we don't talk much but it seems like I always have to talk him, it's not reciprocal. 

Okay so it has honestly been a roller coaster.

Following Madeleine's vote I thought that I was going to be in a FABULOUS position, but that was not the case.

Most of the tribe went fucking silent on me. That round brought me to a whole new level of frustration that I can't even DESCRIBE. I was freaking out because I genuinely felt like I was just getting iced out and was going to be eliminated.

As soon as that round from Hell was over, I felt the need to act quickly and harshly to try to improve my position in the game. I took a major gamble by creating 100% false rumor (there wasn't even the slightest bit of truth to it), and took it to Julia. I told her that Mitch had been talking about targeting her to me. Now this was a huge risk because she could've sniffed me out right away, but luckily for me she's kind of nutty and bought it.

With that lie I essentially destroyed whatever alliance Julia and Mitch had. In the process I managed to A) Make Julia feel like she can really trust me to have her back, and B) Increased Mitch's already sizable target to decrease the odds of people coming after me.

I further pushed Mitch's game down the drain by stroking Jared's paranoia that Mitch is plotting against him, but in this case I was actually telling the truth because the truth could be used to my benefit.

So I really have two major goals that I would like to complete within the next 24 hours; 1) Solidify a F3 alliance with Julia & Ali. 2) Send Mitch home.

I suspect that we're going to see a tribe swap after this vote, but just in case we don't swap that soon, I'm already planting VERY subtle, small seeds in people's heads that Matthew should be the next one to go following Mitch.

Overall, the twists being thrown at us early on this season have really forced me to take a much more aggressive, offensive battle strategy. I've essentially found myself in a position where the best way for me to ensure my own survival is to jump on any opportunity to turn my tribemates against eachother.

My hope is that if there IS a tribe swap, it'll benefit me and put me in a more comfortable position where I can lower my profile a bit and stay more under the radar. Obviously it's great to make moves and have some control in the game, but I also know from experience that playing too aggressively for too long is the best way to set myself up to crash and burn.

Literally people are telling me they’re putting me first on their list ahsjdjsjs ok folks assuming y’all aren’t lying immunity could work!!

The scoop that just came in this morning is apparently Mitch is being one hot mess? Julia told us that Mitch threw her name as a target and then Jared told me Mitch leaked to Noah that he was getting wacked had we lose the puzzles challenge. Naturally this made things quite difficult because Noah was obviously the easy vote but here comes Mitch making a mess out of things.

This morning made me realize that Jared is dangerous. He is calling the shots and I won’t be surprised if he actually faked all this information about Mitch being a mess because he did wanted to go after Mitch the previous round before we all decided with Noah. My alliance with Jason and Julia better keep an eye on him. As much as dangerous Jared is, he still trusts me with information so I ain’t getting rid of him yet, contrary to what our friendly neighbourhood robot/Michael is concocting. Jason told us that Michael wants to make a move against Jared now, and uh no I don’t take orders from a robot and he would just replace Jared with himself as the so called king pin of Budva. I’m gonna relay this info of Michael targeting Jared on the wraps until the time to take out Michael presents itself because bringing my name up will get ur ass burnt!! Assuming there ain’t a swap incoming which the likelihood of a swap occurring is VERY.

Julia told me and Jason she’s already in the 60’s on the bridge and me and Jason are here in the 20’s like ok.

I’m also becoming very close with Ali and Benj. right they’re my back up if we do swap and I’m separated from Julia and Jason.

So in summary of this little rant, the targets are Mitch and Noah. Mitch is the more likely to being the one getting whacked and although I do like the guy, him being messy and with the potential of going rogue is a big liability. Although Noah can also go rouge but at least he ain’t messy!!

okay so confession time, since its looking like the vote is kind of finalising.

its looking like mitch, and he is such a king, but he also like... kind of did this to himself? i can kind of understand why he did, like he was the Plan B for both of our previous tribals (even though he was never in jeopardy), but like... particularly since i think its kind of obvious we are swapping after this double tribal, he only needed to ride out one more tribal.

but he just did so so much, like first he threw Julia under the bus to Noah and then with Michael started targeting Jared. Like that just isn't smart, like going to the person who was the other potential vote, to throw people under the bus. Noah I'm sure wants to elevate his own standing, and Mitch literally gave him the ammunition to do so?

also like Jared and Julia are maybe two of the louder personalities on our tribe? Like if he wants an easy target to divert attention off himself, Julia apparently isn't great socially, but also like.. its obvious she was going to be able to rally support for herself, as is Jared?!? Like I get Jared is a threat, he is doing a lot and very clearly at that, but a big move like this while maybe justifiable at merge, is just way too early.

so yeah, at the moment I think Mitch will go 7-2, because I could see at least one of Benj or Michael throwing him a pity vote. I really wanted to work with Mitch, but he would just do... too much, like people were mad at him for his weird feud with Madeline, and like... he just needed to take it easy.

for the swap, i'd like to swap onto a tribe with jules, because LEGEND LOVE THEM. i really hope the swap situation is not 4vs4, i want to build trust with the other tribe going into merge. I really hope Thomas doesn't make merge, he makes me SOOOOO nervous.

also idk if i ever confessed about this, but rip david robb. to reuse an emathia joke (a season he will not remember), david robb-ed.

I’m voting for Willow, and I feel awful because she’s a really sweet girl. But the brigade has to stick to its guns. Willow is the only person excluded from our brigade plan, and especially with a supposed tribe swap coming soon, we need to keep the eight of us as tight as we can be.

Sorry Willow!

so this round has been an absolute cluster fuck and im really emotionally drained because of it. mitch first of all fuck you, you stupid lying ass bitch. you wanted to throw my name under the fucking bus are you fucking kidding me you idiot??? I HAVE BETTER SOCIAL CONNECTIONS RN. I don't even want the damn thought of me leaving rn as an option like are you serious. fuck you!!!! second of all jared is now a target and i'm literally so stressed I cant think straight. but my goal to get mitch out is hopefully gonna work.

As far as the rest of the game goes, I’m kinda scared and kinda excited by the prospect of being so beloved by everyone in the game. I was talking with Alex, and apparently everyone that he’s talked to in this game has mentioned how much they love me when asked about how they feel about the tribe. While it’s a big change from being voted out 9-1 for being “Hostile and unapproachable”, it’s scary. What if that makes me a big threat? I hope not. My fate in this game most likely rests on loyalty, which isn’t a great standpoint to have in a game like survivor.

I’m mitch saying he hasn’t heard anything and Then suddenly saying he’s hearing Jared

Boi what should have been an easy vote for Noah has now become a mess of a vote and your probably gonna be the one hit in the crossfire. Assuming the people who I’ve talked to are being truthful.

Meanwhile Julia, Jason and I have more or less come to a consensus to end Mitch with Julia probably earning Michael’s supposed allegiance since I think Michael is pissed that Mitch had become messy so the robot is now prolly voting mitch and Michael is always talking with Julia?? Idk mess

On a different note, I’m really liking Ali. He’s got a great insight on the status of the game rn and he HAS A DOG!!

Wow at me doing more the 2 confessionals

Shit literally hits the fan when you’re eating breakfast yeah?

Julia crossed the idol bridge only to discover the idol has been found!! Kudos to whoever did that, I only got to 25. Right now everyone is panicking, mitch could have the idol idk Michael could have idol idk

Right now the plan needs to split the vote between Michael and Mitch. I assume none of them won immunity but the idol is still in question. The potential people to be caught in this mess of crossfire will be either mitch, Michael or Jared. It could also be me or it could also be anyone!! Who knows let’s see if I live to tell the tale!!

this vote is a mess, and... i am the cause of it KJLSADFAF.

so julia has learnt that the idol has been found, she told jared, who told... literally everyone JKNLASDFASF. but i have the idol, but people are kind of assuming either Michael or Mitch does which... works for me KLSDAF.

But of course people (especially Jared) want to split the votes. Which YIKES, the Budva tribe is dead six feet under after this for sure EEEK. Like literally... we as a tribe voted Noah OUT, and he is gonna be so comfortable after this vote he DID THAT WHAT A KING.

but yes I think Budva tribe is not going to be able to stick together long term. Like after this vote, Michael and Jared are gonna be out for blood. Noah can sense sharks in the water after last tribal. I'm also now really hoping for a swap, people want Jared out, and if we don't swap, Jared has DIRT on me and benj which could be really problematic aklsdfa.

yeah i think tonight the plan is to split the votes between michael and mitch to save jared? who people literally want OUT this is such, SUCH a mess. we are about to swap and everything is literally going to explode oh god.

in other news, i still have the idol so woo! I APOLOGISE TO MY ENTIRE TRIBE FOR WHEN YOU READ THIS, YOU WILL ALL HATE ME FOR KEEPING THIS A SECRET IM SO SO SO SORRY.

omg imagine if noah made up all that stuff mitch apparently told him and he caused all this chaos (well except for the idol, that was defo me KALSDFSA). his MIND, noah is flexing that big brain on us lesser mortals.

my game is over. jared is going and i want to vote him, but also he will just expose our alliance and idk what we do about that EEEEEEEK.

I swear this is my fucking last confessional for this round. So jared’s messy ass finally caught up to him and now me and my golden girls are flipping the script! If everything goes accordingly jared’s going?? And Noah is the only left out of the loop probs

okay i'm going to confess as much as i can, as quick as i can. the vote is now jared and benj & i have a really cracked scheme to make sure he doesn't expose us. noah is being left out of the vote. benj is voting mitch too, so it looks like jared has two votes alongside him and thus he doesn't expose me and benj?

ITS CRACKED AND A MESS. also jared going and the mess is good, it made me look like a REAL follower which is good news i think.. i was worried about looking threatening.

honeslee cut to jared winning immunity and this mess being... even messier KASLFSADF like honestly i'm just. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

also michael truly terrifies me. i'm freaking out about the vote, and he pops in being like 'hear jason out'. LIKE SIRI I KNOW YOU WANT YOUR CHUM MITCH TO STAY, but its VERY unhelpful to just pop in and make it REALLY clear i'm on the outs K;JLSDFA.

i just am so tired. Julia/Benj/Ian are the only ones I trust, Jason too kinda but he defo runs the show. Michael is just confusing and Mitch/Noah are both not gonna trust me after this vote. I'm so getting screwed over in this swap KLASDFSAF I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

[hyuwujin]

train rides

pairing: reader x felix

genre: the fluffiest fluff :)

length: 2.5k words

warnings: none

summary: Spending the day with Felix is always a blast but your feelings for him certainly give you an internal conflict. Should you risk ruining a meaningful friendship by confessing or remain in the safety of the friend-zone by keeping quiet?

a/n: wOAHHH this is probably the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written but i hope y’all like it! honestly, this took me wayyyy too long but here it finally is!! i’d like to thank my fav bbs @hyyunjinn @hyunjinh @seungchanie bc i’ve been hyping this up for a while and you had to deal with it asdfgh;;;thank you for giving me the motivation to finally finish it!! ILYYYY<333

also @straykidzz and @ultnamjin i dont think i ever mentioned my fic to you??but i love and appreciate you soooo much! (pssst we should also talk more bc ily)

“C’mon Y/N! This way,” an eager Felix pulled you by the wrist into the train station. Furrowing your brows at his enthusiasm, you looked around the nearly empty train station for a sign of anything worth enthusing over. 

“You still haven’t even told me where we’re going,” you grumbled, dragging your feet against the stained orange floor tiles. 

“It’s a Wednesday afternoon. There aren’t many people on the train since they’re already at work,” Felix grinned, guiding you into one of the train cars. You looked around the close to empty car––a mother and a child sat at the far corner and a well dressed man staring down at his brief case in the middle of the car––and shrugged with a nod of acknowledgement. 

Felix let go of your wrist to grab one of the poles inside the train car. He spun around the metal pole, effortlessly, and motioned around the empty car with his hand. “See?”

“Where are we going?” You couldn’t contain your curiosity and wondered what was making Felix so excited.

“The train’s last stop is at that theme park you mentioned last week. I know you wanted to go so–o let’s go!” Felix settled down in a seat and patted the seat next to him with a smile.

“Felix, you do realize it’s freezing out, right?” You pointed to the jackets you were both wearing. 

Adjusting the beanie on his head, Felix sighed. “But the park’s open! Besides, all that walking will tire us out anyway.”

“If I catch a cold, I’m blaming you,” you squinted your eyes and pointed an accusing finger at Felix. 

“Then I’ll be the one to take care of you,” Felix winked with a cheeky smile, causing you to snap your gaze away from him to avoid him seeing the blush creeping up your neck. 

“No–o. I’ll get you sick so you’ll suffer with me.”

“You would do that to me?” Felix placed a hand on his chest in feigned hurt. 

Looking back at him, you stared blankly at his obviously fake pained expression. “Yes.”

Scoffing at your reply, Felix looked away from you and towards the closing train car doors. “Stand clear of the closing doors please.” 

Plopping in the seat beside him, you nudged him. “It’s a long ride. You sure you made the right choice?” Throwing him a grin, you continued to nudge his side with your elbow.

“Now that I think about it…” Felix trailed off, looking up as if in thought. Looking back down at you, he scrunched his nose up and nodded. “As annoying as you can be, how many Felix and Y/N days do we have nowadays?”

“Hey! If anything, you’re the annoying one in this friendship!” 

“Yeah right,” Felix chuckled lowly, causing your stomach to do a flip. Can he not do that? “You’re definitely the annoying one. Who’s the one who showed up at the dorm at two am because you wanted to be fed?” 

“Hey! I was hungry, alright? You show up at my place at unusual times, too!”

“For good reason!” 

“You know you can send memes by message, right? You don’t have to come over and show me them!”

“I like to see your reactions,” Felix softly smiled at you and you felt yourself smiling, too. 

The train stopped at its designated stops, hence more people entered the train car and soon, you found yourself squished next to Felix with strangers sat on either side of you. 

“There aren’t many people on the train since everyone’s at work, huh?” You mocked, glancing at Felix.

Unplugging one of his earphones from his ear, he sighed, “I didn’t think it’d get this packed! Besides, our stop is soon. Don’t worry.” 

“You’re lying aren’t you?” You asked, monotonously.

“Psh, no…maybe.”

You huffed in response and crossed your arms stubbornly over your chest. Rolling his eyes with a smile, he returned the earphone to his ear and nodded his head along to whatever he was listening to. 

Without him noticing, you peered at Felix and watched as his eyebrows furrowed and his nose twitched as he continued to listen to music. 

“Excuse me,” you felt a nudge on the other side of you. Turning your head, you smiled politely at the old woman who was beaming at you.

“You two are very cute.”

“Excuse me?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise at her statement. 

“You are dating, aren’t you?” The old woman raised an amused brow and glanced over at the oblivious boy beside you.

“What? Me and him? No. No way! W–We’re just friends,” you shook your head profusely at her accusation. She thought you and Felix were dating? On what planet would your interactions make it seem like you were dating?

“Oh, that’s a shame,” the woman looked down at her lap with a sad smile.

That only confused you further and you furrowed your eyebrows. “Why?”

“My husband and I…we were the same way when we were kids. You two bickered and teased back on forth just like we had so it was quite easy to assume,” the old woman looked back up with a soft smile.

“Really?” You turned your body away from Felix to face the old woman and stared at her with curious eyes.

“Mhm,” she hummed and looked up in reminiscence. Leaning closer to you, she mumbled with a nudge, “You also look at him with desire, love.”

Choking on a cough, you leaned back away from her. “W–what? No, I don’t!”

“Well, of course you say that. But you can’t see how others look at you. Does he not notice?”

Slumping your shoulders in defeat, you sighed. “If I made it that obvious to strangers in a train, he probably does. Annnnd that means he probably chooses to ignore it.”

Swatting your hand with a scoff, the woman shook her head. “How old are you? You’re in your teens? Boys at this age can be very oblivious. Believe me, I have my fair share of grandsons and they don’t know the difference between having a girl look at them and having a girl really look at them.”

Laughing lightly, you nodded in understanding. Looking back at Felix, you wondered if that was the case. Maybe he didn’t notice.

“Are we there yet?” You nagged, playfully smacking Felix’s arm in impatience. 

“Y/N, for the millionth time, two more stops!” 

The train ride was much longer than you thought and it didn’t help that Felix was practically ignoring you to listen to his own music. Rude, you thought to yourself with an eye roll. 

Most of the people had left a few stops earlier than yours, including the old woman who was sat beside you––she left patting your hand and wishing you luck, whatever that meant–––and now it was back to you and Felix in the train cart alone with the exception of very few people.

Leaning your head back, a sigh escaped your slightly chapped lips. Feeling your eyelids become heavier, you fluttered your eyes shut. You listened and focused on the squeaks of the train against the tracks, the light chatter of other passengers and Felix’s foot tapping.

“Y/N?” 

A light shake to your shoulder woke you up. Humming in response, you slowly blinked awake. 

Chuckling at your sleepy expression, Felix pointed to the open train car doors, “We’re here.”

Leaping up from the seat, a grin found it’s way to your face. “Finally!”

“Come on. This train’s going to get full soon from people leaving the park,” Felix tugged you by the hand closer to him and guided you out of the train. 

“Wha–” you trailed off when exiting the train station. Looking up at the already darkened sky, you pouted. “If was daytime when we left!”

“You said it yourself; It’s still cold so it’s still getting dark early,” Felix looked away from the sky to glance at you. 

“Well, what are we waiting for then? We’re here finally!” You pulled Felix toward the entrance––you didn’t even notice you’d been holding his hand since you left the train car––and grinned widely. 

“See? Even thought it’s chilly, people are still here,” Felix motioned with his free hand toward others strolling down the boardwalk leading to the games and rides. 

“They’re crazy,” you instinctively shivered, causing you to shove your own free hand into your coat pocket. Acknowledging your slightly quivering nature, Felix put his hand up and took off the dark beanie on his head and placed it on yours. 

“You’re here, too, aren’t you?” You didn’t have to look at Felix to know he was smirking. 

“Only because you dragged me,” you reminded with a pointed expression. 

“Now now, we’re here to have fun! Where’d you like to go first?” 

Felix looked down at you with a soft smile and you couldn’t help but mirror it.

“Okay I’ll admit, that was probably the most fun I’ve had in a while,” you laughed, heaving the large stuffed pink giraffe over your shoulder into the train station. 

“Me too! I’m glad we finally got to hang out again. You know, since the debut is coming closer, we haven’t gotten many chances to see each other,” Felix smiled, sadly, lugging his own giant teddy bear on his shoulders. 

“Hey! Even with you and the guys’ debut coming, there’s no way I won’t still see you! Hell, I’ll come by the studio or practice rooms every day if I have to!” 

Stopping in his tracks, Felix turned around. “Really?”

“Of course,” you furrowed your brows, wondering why he’d question it. Before Felix could say anything else, the train car caught your gaze and your face fell. More specifically, the packed train car.

“We won’t have seats!” You whined rushing past Felix and grabbing his hand on the way. Entering the cart, you both looked around for any seats and your shouldered hunched in defeat when neither of you found one.

“It’s okay. We’ll just stand until people get off,” Felix shrugged, guiding you through people near an empty space for standing. 

“Dude, do you know how lazy I am?” 

Rolling his eyes, Felix nodded slowly, “Y/N, I was the one who carried you on my back for the past two hours.”

“Oh,” you looked away, bashfully, “…right.”

“So where you going to put these?” Felix flicked his head toward the giraffe you held close to your chest and the teddy bear under one of his right arm. 

“These? It’s just the giraffe,” you scrunched your eyebrows and looked down at the stuffed toy.

“There’s no way this giant teddy bear is going to fit in my room. You should have it.”

“And you think I have the room?” After a moment of silence, you gnawed at your lip and tapped your foot against the train car’s floor. “Well, if you insist.”

Felix smiled to himself in victory and took a step closer to you. Widening your eyes, you instinctively took a step back. Furrowing his brows at your antics, Felix put his hand up and grabbed ahold of the bar above your head. 

Oh, that was what he was doing.

You mentally scolded yourself at where your thoughts went.

“Hold onto me.”

Blinking rapidly, you looked up at Felix. “Huh!?”

“The train’s going to leave soon. You don’t have anything to hold onto,” Felix continued to stare at you in concern. Were you okay?

“Oh,” you took one hand off the giraffe and grasped onto his arm. A blush crept up your neck and you looked down and stared down at your shoes as if they were the most interesting things you’ve seen all day.

The train jerked forward causing you stumble…right into Felix’s chest. If you weren’t blushing before, your face was probably as red as a tomato now.

“Uh,” you stuttered, looking up at Felix’s own widened eyes. “S–sorry.”

Just as you were going to pull away, Felix wrapped his free hand around you. “I got you.”

Great, you thought. Now I’m hyperventilating.

You stayed like that for a while and you couldn’t complain. As much as you were flustered, you enjoyed being this close to Felix. He smells good.

After some passengers had left the train at their stop, you both sat next to each other at the nearest open seats. 

“…Y/N?”

“Huh? What?” You shook your head out of the trance you were currently in and smiled apologetically at the boy beside you. “Did you say something?”

“What’s going on in that head of yours? It looks you’ve been having a mental battle,” Felix lightly tapped at your temple and smiled. 

“It’s nothing,” you shook your head with a wave of your hand. 

“You sure?” Felix pressed. He needs to stop looking at me like that.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“You know I could’ve walked home alone, right?” You raised an eyebrow as you and Felix stood in front of your house. 

“It’s late. Gotta know you’re safe.” Felix shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and rocked back on forth by the heals and balls of his feet.

“Thanks,” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and unlocked your front door. Pushing the giant stuffed animals into your house by your feet, you entered your home.

“Hey, wait,” Felix called out, causing you to turn around.

“Hm?” You turned around.

“When’s our next date?”

Choking on a breath, you blinked, “Sorry I don’t think I heard you right. Say that again?”

“Our next date?”

“This wAS A DATE!?” You felt the blush you managed to keep away from your face for the time being begin to slowly spread to your cheeks.

“Come on, Y/N. I spent my money on you, held your hand, hell, I even carried you but let’s not get into that, and won you stuffed toys. Doesn’t that sound like a date to you?” Felix smiled, cheekily, still rocking forward and backward.

“I uh––” you averted your gaze to look at the ground. “You mean, you feel the same way?”

“Same way? Of course, Y/N. Not gonna lie…you’re pretty obvious,” Felix shrugged.

Widening your eyes in surprise, you shouted, “You mean you’ve known? This whole time?”

“Everyone knows by now,” Felix rolled his eyes with a smile at your expression, “the guys were practically begging me to hurry and man up and tell you my feelings.”

“…I really don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything. How ‘bout I pick you up tomorrow morning for some breakfast? We could chat about us then. Now, rest up,” Felix turned to go and you opened your mouth and closed it multiple times though no words came out.

“Goodnight!” You finally managed to shout after him. 

“Night Y/N,” Felix said in a singsong voice without bothering to turn around. “See you tomorrow for our second date.”

You closed the door behind you with a sigh and leant against it before looking down at the two large stuffed animals on the floor. Could I get any more cliche than this? 

Ignoring your thoughts, you squealed and scurried up to your room not able to wait for the next day.

[spider-bih]

King of Burgers [Thor Odinson]

Pairing: Thor Odinson x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cursing probably, fluff, nonsense [If you’re vegan this won’t really be for you, sorry babes]

A/N: Don’t even ask where this idea came from unless you want to hear the rantings of a broke girl on her monthly. Thanks to @pinkmousey [sorry he didn’t fight the mascot *cough*] for fueling my nonsense with more nonsense. You never cease to enable me and I love you <3 [This is before Ragnarok bc I still miss his long hair and his EYE FUCK YOU HELA] [Still working on my other fics, don’t worry.]

Thor adores his lady love endlessly. He’d do anything for his love- and he’s learned there are plenty of ways to show his love on Earth. Cooking happens to be one of them. He recently learned that some if not most women on earth (men too obviously, but it is the norm for men), like being cooked for. Some greatly enjoy lunches for work or nice dinners after a long day of said work. He has been beautifully enchanted by the idea of making meals for you, his beautiful lady love.

You came to love the idea as well- for a little while.

You didn’t realize how much he didn’t know in regards to cooking. You’d nearly forgotten that on top of being a norse god- he was also royalty on Asgard. More often than not (from what you assumed), most royals did not have to do much for themselves. Servants cooked for them. They cleaned for them and other such things. So, he didn’t know how to cook. Lots of people don’t, and some can only do basic meals, but Thor? Oh, your handsome and wonderfully loving God of Thunder?

He’s terrible and he wishes to learn on his own.

The food he attempts to make you is barely even food. It’s often burnt or undercooked, no perfect in between where it’s edible. If by some chance it is, it tastes bland because he has yet to teach himself about earths seasonings and spices. You hate to have to throw food out, but if it’s not edible and no one else at your work wants it, what can you do? As of late, you’ve done well in hiding your little trips to fast-food restaurants and things. However- sometimes your sweet and caring boyfriend likes to come visit you at your job to see how you’ve liked his meal. There have been a handful of times where you’ve inhaled your fries or shoved your half-eaten burger into your desk drawer. Other times you’ve simply had to hide wrappers. You never realized that sometimes, you weren’t so good at hiding it. He had to say something for you to finally notice.

“Lady [Y/n]?”

You looked up from your laptop. You were doing some work at home like usual, but his soft tone pulled you away easily, “Yes?”

Thor seemed to think of his words for a moment, “Do you not like my cooking?”

Your heart skipped a beat for a moment. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but you couldn’t flat out lie to him. “Err.. why do you ask?”

“Please, just answer the question.”

You took a closer look at him. You could now clearly see the hurt look in his blue eyes. Somehow, he’d found out you weren’t eating his lunches and that you lied about not being hungry come dinner time. Oh boy- how to get out of this? “Thor I..I don’t- where is this coming from?”

He frowned now, clearly unhappy with you dodging the question, “I wish to know who this King of Burgers is and why his meals are good enough for you, yet mine are not.”

You furrowed your brows, “..King of Burgers?”

“Yes. The King of Burgers. You have hidden his food wrappers from me. Along with some Donald guy. I have seen this King more than the Donald. Who made him the King of Burgers? Why do you eat his food but not mine?”, his frown deepened.

King of Burgers, Donald- oh. Oh. He’d seen your Burger King and McDonalds wrappers. You guessed that he didn’t know they were fast food joints, and not actually men cooking for you. Well-maybe the workers might have been guys, but there was no sole King of Burgers or a Donald cooking lavish meals for you. You were just grabbing whatever off the value menus. It wasn’t super healthy, but it wasn’t very often. You cooked for yourself when you could. Thor hogging the kitchen didn’t make it too easy. He’d insist on cooking for you and not having you lift a finger. He was so ecstatic about it every time, so you couldn’t deny him. Thor was an absolute sweetheart, he swayed you without even trying. He had the best of intentions, but... 

“You are not answering. Where can I find this King of Burgers? He needs to know that I am the one who should be spoiling my lady, not him. I see you hiding his wrappers- or are they notes? Is he forcing your hand? I swear I will behead him if-”

“Thor!”, you cut off his ranting, making him look at you once more with those sad blues of his. “There is no King of Burgers.”

“There is! I once saw his place while heading to the store but I have forgotten which one. He was standing outside of it, with his obnoxiously large head, waving at people to come in. Did he brainwash you- is he forcing you to come in and eat his food?”

You sighed heavily. You had to tell him the truth, “No, Thor.”

“Then what?”

“Well.. you know you uhm..uh..”, your words dragged on, every part of you dreading to even tell him anything. You wished you’d hidden everything better.

Thor’s frown deepens, “Is my food not good?”

“Your effort is amazing Thor. I love that you want to cook for me, but..”

“But?”, he asks.

“You’re not.. the best at it.”, his face falls and your heart sinks with it, “Not yet! You need a teacher, you can’t teach yourself. I had to be taught- every one has to be taught!”

His fallen face turned to a slight pout, “I am the God of Thunder, I should not have to be taught.”

“You had to learn how to fight, didn’t you? To use your godly powers and wield your hammer, didn’t you?”

He pondered your words for a moment before sighing. His shoulders slumped slightly, “Okay. I see your point- but I still do not like this King of Burgers spoiling you. I wish to do that, and if he keeps persuading you to go into his place and take his food I will hit him with Mjolnir.”

“Thor, you can’t hit him. It’s just a guy in a costume. Burger King is a fast food restaurant. I appreciate the thought, though.”

“The guy persuaded you though, didn’t he? Then he is at fault-”

“It’s just an easy way to buy food already cooked! Everyone goes there, and to Mcdonalds. They’re not people, just businesses.”

“I still do not like it.”

You sighed softly, shaking your head with a small grin, “Okay. We can cook together until you learn how to cook, and I promise I’ll eat those meals.”

A proud grin pulled across his face and he leaned down to softly kiss your cheek, “Glorious! The King of Burgers has nothing against the God of Thunder!”

You couldn’t even pretend to be irritated. Your God of Thunder was wonderful, and in due time, his cooking skills would surpass the King of Burgers. Until then..

“You have Donald’s food in your bag- you’re eating it right now! LADY [Y/N]!”

Running and eating is not safe- yet somehow it’s fun. Especially when he’s laughing with you, shaking you with his joyous laughter once he catches you, stealing a fry and being surprised that it does taste good. He swears he’ll be better than both that awful King and boring Donald someday. He’s right.

Though for now, he’ll enjoy cooking with you. It’s more messing around and kissing than it is cooking, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Permanent Tags [strikethrough means tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you]: @o-brienwrites, @spidergirlwanab, @thumper-darling, @bagginsofbagend, @sammy-holland , @cosmetologynerd , @timelord-sorcerer, @i-love-superhero, @mendes-holland, @dangerousluv1, @malumplaylist, @faithful-music, @melli-chou, @spidey-mantom , @fandom-hq, @thegirlwiththeimpala, @mayroseinneverland, @maggieanne13,  @internetgremlin, @parkerbabeh, @spidey-spooked , @iamwarrenspeace , @djdre92, @sergeantjbuckybarnes, @everythingthatisrandom, @spiderman-2013, @rileyloves5 , @twizzziee, @therealme13posts, @clean-and-claire, @malfoyofthenight,  @peters-vlogs, @leilei-draws , @rmillerartemis, @cassiopeia-barrow,  @valeriasobsessions, @rosescentedblood, @hi-mishamigos, @brightcolorsoffendme​, @isabellamozzarellla, @courtneychicken, @technicallycrazyfun​, @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire​, @wombatholland​, @starksparker, @frostymoon11

[trr-fangirl]

TRR Theory!

(^^^ me)

I’m not sure how long this theory is about to be but I’ve got screenshots for days and this theory has been on my mind since then. I know damn well PB is going to punch holes in my theory once Chapter 11 releases on Friday but hey, it’s worth a shot right? 

Okay, I have a few suspects, although... I’m not too sure about Leo but if you suspect him, let me know why! I seriously am curious because I can’t think of why he would want to kill his own parents and brother. This is mostly just me babbling about the random foreshadowing I’ve seen and my three suspects. Stay with me here! This is a lot!

Foreshadowing!

Royal Palace

Chapter Nine and Ten is littered with hints of something going down. It’s the first time the court is back at the palace since the attempt. With there being a large group of people gathered in one small space, something is bound to happen. (I was waiting for something to happen in both chapters… this is Pixelberry were talking about.) This is also why we all know the big ass courtly event of a wedding is a bad idea aka Stop! Putting! MC! In! A! Ballroom! 2k18!

Defense Training

That was a clear tip-off to us that somewhere down the line, we’re going to have to fight. I think this is the reason Mara and Bastien aren’t seen immediately after the explosion (I thought they were going to rush towards them as soon as the first bomb went off) In Chapter Nine before going to the training room, If you choose, “Is this necessary when you’re around to protect me?” Liam says something along the lines of, “Mara can’t be everywhere at once.” but she does say that she’s working on it. (Sorry, I didn’t have those screenshots) I felt like this was giving us a hint that, ‘Yo, you’re gonna have to defend yourself soon.’

Constantine

Another thing that they foreshadowed is pretty much Constantine’s death. His heartfelt speech to Regina, making amends with Hakim, being soft with his sons, and apologizing/offering the Cordonian Crest necklace to the MC (All those SS are below). These situations seem more like a ‘goodbye’ rather than just being soft and genuine. From the way Lucretia spoke about him and the way he was in the past two books, he’s not very sentimental in my opinion but that’s just me.

I personally think Constantine is going to pass before the wedding. From the explosion? Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not sure. These last two chapters with Constantine just gave me the feeling that he really isn’t going to be around for much longer. I thought that they would let him go to the wedding but from the way he was speaking and then the explosion... I’m not sure. (Watch PB throw this out the window and let him live.)

My Three Suspects (aka they look fishy af)

Neville (aka Ratatouille)

The duel between Drake and Neville seriously confirmed my thoughts that Neville’s ass is apart of this terrorist group! I’m not even trying to be funny but enlighten me if I’m missing something: I do not remember Drake and Neville ever having a conversation in book two. I don't even think they interacted in book two.

So, why does Neville have this burning hate for Drake? Where did it come from? If he is apart of the group, it would make sense for him to be upset that Drake stopped the bullet that would have killed the Duchess/Future Queen. Why else would he be so mad at a man he’s never had a decent interaction with?

There is also the fact that out of everyone that attended the Homecoming Ball and witnessed the attack— They showed some kind of emotion while talking about it. No matter if it was anger or sadness, they had emotion. (i.e Olivia, Bertrand, Kiara, and Penelope) but with Neville? He has none.

If he’s talked to Drake prior to book three, let me know! But I don’t remember off the top of my head. If he isn’t apart of the group, I’m going to be surprised because there’s a lot of things against him.

Lucretia (this part is actually pretty long)

I’m telling y’all! Lucretia knows something we don’t! She just does! I can’t put my finger on it but she knows.. something and it’s possibly pretty big! Now, I’m not sure she’s apart of this assassin shiz but if her sister was corrupt, I’m not putting it past her to be the same way.

I’ve been reiterating this to myself for months. I highly doubt that Olivia is apart of this! She’s not! I’m not just saying this because she’s my baby and if she would have became an LI, I would have dropped Liam like a hot-potato but because she’s been with us practically the entire book! She even called her own parents ‘traitors’! I cannot stress this enough. 

Lucretia is a different story.

As I read through this scene, I got a lot of information at once. I had to read it over a few times myself. Lucretia seems to have a (bull spit) reason for why she didn’t come to Lythikos to take care of Olivia once her parents died. It seems like she was trying to keep Olivia safe in her own twisted and unique way.

Because of these five screenshots, she knows something about Constantine that we don’t and whoever these assassins are-- know this too. They called Liam a ‘scion of tyranny’ and from what Lucretia is saying here, it might be hella true. We already got a glimpse of how Constantine uses his power for his own personal gain aka the scandal.

The first video from the Five Kingdoms Festival now makes sense (to me at least) This group is afraid of Liam becoming power hungry and corrupt like his father and taking advantage of The Crown. So, in order to keep that from happening, they want to eliminate him (and his future wife if that’s your route) at all costs. If you're a duchess, I feel like this goes back to when Constantine said about having power around others who don’t.

Now, the last part when she says ‘And a reason why all of the plots against him failed.’ has me stumped. I honestly don’t know what she means by that. Help? Cause, I really don’t know.

Side note: I just wanted to point this out. The way her lines are written, it seems like she has no respect for anyone apart of the royal family. She’s not too fond of Constantine (I don’t think anyone is) and the way she speaks about Liam is... questionable. Not to mention (if Liam is your LI) she emphasizes on the fact that he’s marrying an ‘American’ and even called the MC an ‘unorthodox future queen’. Then there’s this:

So, I’m not completely sure where Lucretia stands with those two.. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Justin (aka Court Dweeb)

Because of this post here (credit to her for having a good ass memory bc it sounded familiar but didn’t know from where), I think he is a Nevrakis. Whether he’s Olivia’s first cousin removed, long-lost brother, or her father, someway they might be related! Or, he’s working with Lucretia and she said this to him as a mantra. But that wouldn’t make much sense if he was in the hospital for nine flipping chapters. I honestly think the family thing is the best bet because from what Olivia said, the quote was from her father.

And lastly,

The Explosion

Firstly 😑

Formerly Crowned Prince Leo has THE. WORST. TIMING. EVER. Like damn boi, why you always here when something dramatic is about to go down? You ain’t even that special! (Though, I have no problem with him attending my wedding. That would be cool, lowkey) Anyways... This is what I was extremely excited about writing.

The first bomb that went off was a distraction but the second one was obviously for the Royal Family and MC. The position of the bomb and the timing was almost perfect. Right next to the King. How would the assassins know where to put the device to go off right next to the Royal Family and the MC?

It has to be someone from inside the ballroom. Yet again, a noble. It was way too close to Liam for it to just be a coincidence. They could have been anywhere in the ballroom but it was planted right next to Liam. If it was a nobleman, it would have been easy for them to slip out, place the bombs, and slip back in like nothing happened.

Going back to the Homecoming Ball, if a noble is on the inside working against the monarchy, that makes it easy for the assassins to walk through the front door (quite literally). Out of my three suspects, its either Justin or Neville and if PB wants to do it, make it an unknown third party.

Conclusion

There could be a third or fourth party. All these suspects could be working together or might not be apart of the conspiracy at all. Who knows? These last chapters gave a lot of information that I still need to go through and make sense of. This book is about to get good and I’m here for all the drama and theories that are about to come out of this! If you guys want me to continue to do something like this, I can. (I’ve got a lot to say about Lucretia, tbh) There was just too much in this last chapter. I had to get it out somehow! I hope you enjoyed this and please don’t hesitate to comment! I would love to see your theories and what you think! 💗

tagging those who I think might be interested: @blackcatkita @drakewalkerwhipped @trr-duchessofvaltoria

[iezzern-ao3]

The Poison you call Love

Read on AO3

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas

Relationships: Azriel/Cassian/Lucien, Cassian/Lucien (ACoTaR), Azriel/Lucien (ACoTaR), (past) Lucien/Tamlin

Characters: Lucien Vanserra, Azriel (ACoTaR), Cassian (ACoTaR), Tamlin (ACoTaR)

Additional Tags: Friendship, or lack of really, Tamlin is mean but what is new, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, FYI some small Nesta hate if you squint, This is not a Nesta positive space, Smut in Ch. 2, bc i couldn't help myself, Threesome - M/M/M, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, mild dirty talk, Double Penetration

Language: English

Lucien knows that he'll never get peace if he doesn't clear things up with Tamlin. So he tries, for both of them

The Spring Court is falling apart.

Lucien sees it the moment he arrives. The numerous roses and violets are slowly withering away; the previously green plains are a sick shade of yellow. The bark on the tall, rich trees is crumbling to dust. The stench of the dying nature is sickening; choking. Lucien almost gags from it. It’s unnaturally silent—not even a gust of wind. No laughing; no talking; no sign of people anywhere.

The Illyrian that winnowed him in notices it, too, his eyebrows raising. “You sure you want to do this?” he asks, laying a protective hand on Lucien’s lower back. “I’ll be fine, Cass,” the male answers, “I need to do this”

“For yourself or for him?”

“For both of us”

Cassian snorts but doesn’t push it further. He steps closer to Lucien, pressing his front to Lucien’s back, his hand moving from his back to his hip. His hot breath tickles the back of Lucien’s neck, as his hair is up in a braided crown. The movement speaks of intimacy and affection. Cassian closes his eyes and inhales Lucien’s subtle scent. “You don’t have to go alone,” he mutters, his lips ghosting on Lucien’s skin.

“Yes, I do”

“Az would never forgive me if I let you get hurt”

“Good thing I can take care of myself, then”

Cassian huffs a laugh, placing a light kiss on his collarbone before drawing back. “No more than twenty minutes,” he drawls. Lucien nods in answer and starts walking. Cassian’s eyes never leave him, his body forever tense. Lucien tries to ignore it but can’t help the unsure smile he throws over his shoulder. The hot air is burning against the Illyrian leathers, places sweat upon his brow. At least, that’s the excuse he makes for himself. He needs to do this, he reminds himself, he needs to bring closure to this whole affair. The mansion comes into view faster than he wants it to.

That is falling apart, as well—overgrown by ivy and roses and trees, the smooth walls almost gone. There is no beauty left in those roses; just cruelty. His steps falter slightly as he passes through the gates. All he can remember is the disappointment and disgust upon Tamlin’s face when he’d seen the Illyrian leathers the last time. What would he think now?

Lucien has told himself over and over again that he doesn’t care about what Tamlin thinks of him. It doesn’t matter. It isn’t worth it. He’s his own person and Tamlin won’t get to say what’s wrong with him and not. He won’t be ruled by misplaced loyalty and guilt. And still, he can’t get that face out of his mind. Can’t stop wondering how Tamlin will react. How disappointed he’ll be. How hurt he’ll be. Lucien’s mind keeps fighting itself.

Why should you care about Tamlin’s feelings? Because he was your only friend.

Why should Tamlin’s opinion matter to you? Because you used to care so much.

Why do you crave Tamlin’s approval after all this time? Because you used to love him.

The doors to the mansion are gaping wide. There’s a darkness within so strong that Lucien can’t see much. Lucien starts on the stairs, his hands shaking now. He can’t calm his nerves; nor his breath. He’s in panic. He’s about to turn. About to run back into Cassian’s arms and beg him to take him back to the Night Court—back to Azriel. He takes one, small step back before his resolve turns to stone again.

He won’t let himself run away now. If he doesn’t do it now, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to. So he slows his breath, clenches his hands into fists, and starts walking again. He walks through the doors and into the dark abyss. Lucien never really noticed before, but the constant scent of roses and green; the constant green and red and pink, is choking and it washes over him in waves. He speeds up his walk, wants to find Tamlin before it drowns him.

Lucien reaches the throne room far too early for his liking. He pushes the door open and steps inside. The throne room is overgrown, much more than the rest of the court. He swallows and forces his eyes to go to the other male in the room. Tamlin is lounging on his throne, his eyes lazily moving from whatever he was looking at, to Lucien. He looks broken. His eyes are rimmed red; his clothes are ruffled; his posture is lazy and sloppy, so unlike the Tamlin Lucien is used to. Lucien’s throat dries up. A long silence stretches between them. “Tamlin,” he says, his voice raspy.

Tamlin doesn’t answer for a long time, his face in a mask of contempt. “Fox,” he finally drawls, and it makes Lucien’s breath catch. He doesn’t know how to continue the conversation, so he just stands there, holding Tamlin’s gaze. Tamlin is the one to break it, his eyes trailing Lucien’s body; his clothes. “Come here to show your new allegiance?” he spits, and it takes all of Lucien’s restrains to not sigh. “You know, it’s cruel of you, to come crawling back when you’re obviously too good for the Spring Court now”

Lucien takes a deep, shaky breath. “Tamlin, I just want to talk. Clarify things,” he says, taking a few steps forward. “Of course, you do,” the other male answers, “There’s nothing to clarify, fox. You left me. You left me for Rhysand and his court. You fled with Feyre to…”

“Because Feyre offered me kindness, Tamlin,” Lucien interrupts in a growl, suddenly angry, “A kindness you hadn’t shown me in a very long time”

“Why Rhysand?” Tamlin raises from his throne, his voice laced with desperation. “Why did you choose him?”

“It wasn’t just him,” Lucien mutters, his eyes finding the floor. It takes Tamlin one beat of silence to understand. “The Illyrians?” he asks, quiet now. Lucien can only offer a small nod.

After the war with Hybern, he’d struggled to find his place in the Night Court. After some time, he’d given up trying to build a relationship with Elain. It just wouldn’t work out. He’d skirted around the outside of Rhysand’s Inner Circle, not trying to fit himself in but not trying to shove himself out, either. He’d accepted the position of emissary without thinking much about it, just going along with what everyone else wanted from him. Then Azriel had started paying attention to him. Small conversations and fleeting touches and long looks.

It had woken something in him. A need for being appreciated. A need for being wanted. In the short weeks that Ariel’s attention had been on him, he’d senselessly fallen in love with the Illyrian male. He’d become hyperaware of Azriel’s every action around him. Every touch; every glance; every goddamn time he licked his lips. And then, one night, Azriel had kissed him and his world had shifted. And then, after some time, Cassian had come tumbling into their arms—after he’d decided to stop wasting his time on someone who obviously didn’t deserve him.

Tamlin lets out a low laugh; vicious in its tone. “I never thought you would sink so low as to roll over and spread for low-born bastards.” Tamlin's sneer turns downright cruel. “Maybe you've been lower. Do they enjoy you on your knees?”

Hot, choking shame washes over Lucien's body before he can control it, his skin flushing red. He won’t let Tamlin win this; won’t let him see him stutter and blush. “If I remember correctly,” he says, keeping his voice cool, “You were the one who enjoyed that”

It was something he’d never admitted to anyone except Azriel and Cassian. Those years before Feyre; even before Amarantha. The times when Tamlin didn’t have anyone to take his sexual frustration out on except Lucien. And Lucien had let Tamlin have his way with him, like a fool in love. It had never been about feelings, as Lucien had tried to convince himself back in those days. Tamlin had beckoned him over for a quick fuck because that was the only thing Lucien had to offer him in terms of affection.

“How could I not?” Tamlin's expression hadn't faltered, not even for a second, “When you were so eager to please; like a bitch in heat”

If the scent hadn't given it away already, his words do. Tamlin is dead drunk. His words always turn hurtful when he drowns himself in liquor. Lucien can’t help the small flash of sympathy that rises in his chest. Tamlin’s in such a bad place, and he’d helped in bringing him to this place. But those words, the implications of them. “I was never your bitch,” he sneers. Tamlin just laughs in return. “Of course you were, fox. My personal little bitch”

“Tamlin.” Lucien feels like his voice is a weak whisper, not able to reach the other male completely. “You don't mean that”

Tamlin's eyes rake over his body, cold—but still hungry. Lucien stares back. A few years ago, that look would have made Lucien squirm in submission. Tamlin considers him for a moment before his eyes soften. Something in him breaks. “You're right,” he breathes, “I don't”

And there are tears sliding down his cheeks. “I gave you everything, Lucien—” the first time he’s used Lucien’s name “—I protected you and took care of you and I was your friend and you still left me. Why was I not good enough? Why did you and Feyre leave me? Why does everyone leave me?”

His voice raises at the end—angry; sad; heartbroken. “Tam.” Lucien tries to keep his tone soft, as he moves closer to him “Tam, it was never about you not being good enough. It was about you being too much”

Tamlin doesn’t react to his words, just stares him down with an ice-cold stare. So Lucien tries to continue. “You wanted to protect what you loved, I understand that, but…but you went too far. You can’t protect everyone on your own. You can’t try to control others in an attempt to keep them safe. I know you think you did the right thing, Tam, but to me and Feyre…it was like a prison. We needed a choice”

Tamlin startles, his eyes going unfocused. “I—I never meant to…”

“But you did.” Lucien can’t help his quick response. He so desperately wants Tamlin to understand, but with the state he’s in…he doesn’t know if he’ll reach through. Tamlin’s face twists in anger before going unfocused again. He takes deep breaths and by the time he’s finished calming himself down, Lucien has come to a stop right in front of him. “Tam.” His voice breaks. The male in mention shifts his attention back to Lucien. He reaches out and brushes a few stray strands of hair from Lucien’s face, letting his fingers trail down to his cheek. “I hope they treat you right—those Illyrians,” he whispers, “You were always too good for me”

Now, Lucien’s cheeks are streamed with silver, as well.

“Leave,” Tamlin continues, “I need to be alone”

And so Lucien does.

Read Chapter 2 HERE

[starrypsychic-moved]

What Would Your Muse Do?

(I think this was an ask meme but there were no number prompts so I decided why not do them all?)

Feel free to imitate me but please don’t reblog, make ur own post

-Your muse is presented with a special mirror that has the ability to grant any single wish their heart desires. However, a dark version of them is created upon making a wish. Would they risk making a wish?

((it depends on if they become dark when the wish is granted or is another evil version of them is created when they make it. Marion would have no problem if it would just turn him dark i mean he’s pretty darn dark as it is but if another him was created in his universe he would be hesitant out of fear of replacement))

-A woman is lying all alone in the middle of nowhere, slowly dying to poison. However, upon seeing your muse, she reveals to them a baby wrapped in a blanket and begs for them to take care of them before she dies. What do they do with the baby?

((He would very, very reluctantly take the baby to a foster home and put the woman out of her misery))

-Your muse is ordered to hunt down and kill a rare animal or species- one that is the last of its kind even- for a very handsome price indeed. However, upon encountering the creature, it is a tad naïve and very friendly. Would they still kill it and get the job done?

((Absolutely he thinks animals are lesser beings (i mean he kills them or sport and everything) and if they get wiped out they just weren’t strong enough))

-Your muse is walking along a busy street, when someone among the crowd falls over and faints. No one seems to be making a move to help them out. What would they do?

((keep walking, that is unless he thinks they’re attractive or that he can get them to repay him somehow. Mari feels it always pays to have someone in his debt))

-Your muse is a ghost who can’t move on. The owners of the house they are currently haunting is considering an exorcism. How would Your muse try to convince them otherwise?

((Hmmm this is an interesting one bc he’d know that hurting them would only make them want an exorcist more but at the same time he doesn’t really know how to get people to do what he wants without threatening them in some way. I think he might try and strike up a deal or something))

-Your muse walks in on a bit of a scene where a homeless or impoverished child was just caught stealing from a store. They obviously do not have the funds to pay for their items, and seem very hungry. Would you muse do something, or walk away?

((walk away, he thinks impoverished and homeless folks are gross and doesn’t wanna be anywhere near them))

-Your muse is in a serious hurry, and has to get to where they need to be as soon as possible or risk reprimands. However, they spot someone all on their own, sobbing their eyes out. It’s obvious this person is in need of some help, but your muse still has that deadline to meet. What do they do?

((Keep going, he feels he’s far more important than whatever they’ve got going on))

-Your muse is eating at a restaurant, and the young person next to them is dressed very nicely and seems excited. It’s obvious that they’re waiting on a date. However, a few hours pass, and their date never shows up. They seem depressed about this, and hardly touch their food. Does your muse offer comfort, or turn a blind eye?

((He’d swooce on in there and offer to go on a date with them himself if he finds them attractive, really put the charms on and all that and offer to pay for their meal and go somewhere with them instead in hopes to sleep with them so long as they’re 18+

if they’re a teen he’d offer to pay for their food and maybe some company)))

-Your muse is shopping somewhere when masked felons burst in, weapons drawn. They start demanding money, and threaten to hurt anyone who does not comply. Does your muse oblige to their demands, or do they fight back?

((You bet Mari would have this person flat on their ass with his psychic powers a) because nobody tells him what to do and b) bc he’ll be hailed as a hero for saving the day))

-Your muse is buying something when the cashier mistakenly gives them far too much change than they should’ve gotten! Does your muse correct the mistake, or do they pocket the money?

((Mari would without a doubt pocket the money, he may be rich but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to deprive himself of cash when it’s given to him))

-Alternatively, your muse gets too much change back from an extremely rude and uncaring cashier. Will your muse still correct the mistake, or are they more willing to pocket the money now?

((he’d be even more willing to pocket the money and still would for sure))

-Your muse is on trial for a serious crime they never committed. But, the real perpetrator was in fact their best friend or romantic partner. Would your muse turn over their friendship for their freedom, or be punished for something they never did?

((Best friend? He’d be willing to without a doubt but with a romantic partner it would depend on the relationship with the partner bc in his friendships marion tends to be more loyal than with his romantic relationships. He finds romantic partners more replaceable))

-Your muse is out for a stroll when they see a practical pack of school children bullying another kid. The poor kid seems upset, and the relentless flock of bullies won’t leave them alone. What does your muse do?

((HE’D FUCK THOSE BULLIES UP LIKE NO TOMORROW DON’T MATTER THAT THEY’RE KIDS THEY’RE GETTING SOME BROKEN BONES))

-Your muse is relaxing at a cafe when they overhear a harsh fight happening at a table. It appears that the other individual at the table has stormed off somewhere, leaving the other a crying mess. Does your muse go over and comfort them?

((Again like all of these pretty much, if he finds them attractive he will bc he’s a fuckboy with nasty intentions))

-Your muse is shopping around different stores, desperately in need of something that seems to have gone out of stock in other places. Finally, they find it, and it’s the last one! However, the stranger right by you also needs this item. Does your muse give it up, or will they fight to keep it for themselves?

((He would use his psychic powers to pry it from their cold, dead hands if he had to if Mari feels he needs a thing he gets it. He’d do this even if he didn’t needed but just wanted it))

-Your muse is offered the opportunity of a lifetime! This is a unique chance for them to go wherever they would want to go, or do whatever they want to do! However, the catch is that they have to leave behind their friends and family and never see them again. They can’t bring anyone with them, and they can’t go back to where they came. Would they still take it?

((nope, a life without his friends and the family members he holds dear is not a life worth living to Marion))

-Your muse is participating in a race where large cash prizes are awarded to the 5 who finish first. Your muse is about to make 5th place and win, but they notice that someone behind them has tripped and hurt themselves. Does your muse give up the prize and help this person finish the race, or do they go for the prize?

((He’d go right for the money and tbh probably still would even if the person were like dying)

-Your muse is down on their luck and is barely getting by in the world. They have the bare minimum essentials in their home, and not much else. However, they discover that a long time friend has been kicked out of their home, and really needs a place to stay. They don’t have that much money, either, but will your muse still take them in?

((Absolutely, Marion is one of those friends who is willing to do just about anything for their friends))

-For kicks, your muse bought some scratch-off lottery tickets. But to their surprise, one of their tickets turned out to be the jackpot of a ridiculous amount of money! Now that they have too much cash for their own good, what does your muse spend it on?

((He’s already quite well off, I think he would just buy anything he wanted whenever he wanted and have a bunch of art of himself commissioned after giving away a lot of it to his friends, he’d use it to spoil any of his romantic interests rotten))

-Your muse is walking through a busy crowd, when the student in front of them drops a notebook without them noticing. The notebook is obviously full of important study material. Does your muse track down the student to return the notes, or do they ignore it?

((If he thinks he could get something out of doing it yeah, he would help them))

-On a busy shopping strip, a lone child is standing in a single spot. They look upset, and seem to be lost without a parent. Upon encountering the child, does your muse go over to help them out, or do they stay away at risk of looking like a creep?

((Mari’s empathy is really low overall but when it comes to sad/hurt/afraid children he’s quite willing to reach out and try and do what he can. Tho i think rather than trying to locate this child’s parents he would just sort of hang out with them until their parents arrive which tbh might not end well if he’s not in Gravity Falls where he’s beloved))

[rough-tweed-action]

🔥 about tjlc and the tinfoil hat conspiracists

This is a tough one. I'm guessing my opinion (why are they doing this to themselves?) is actually a popular one. So, an unpopular opinion about these people, hmm.

Have you seen Rowan Atkinson's sketch about Toby the Devil? He welcomes souls to hell and divides them into groups: murderers, thieves, French and lastly, Christians. 'Christians? Ah yes, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the Jews were right.' Apart from being hilarious, it makes me wonder: what if we, the non-johnlockers, are wrong and they are right? What if everything I think I know about Sherlock is wrong because I'm a straight, adult woman and judging from the post-TFP dramatic posts, the majority of the cult consists of gay youth. What if BBC Sherlock really is a romantic story and I saw none of that because I'm biased?

What if they were rightfully angry after series 4? I mean, from what I heard, they predicted TAB's content pretty well. Maybe they aren't as delusional as we think. Maybe they were, in fact, portrayed on the show not only as the First TJCLer Hudders but also as the league of furies. Maybe today's gay youth needs more recognition than suffragettes. I don't know.

What if Mofftiss did betray them? What if they intentionally made Sherlock gay and John bi to attract the attention of gay fans? What if they wanted to give them the kiss, but the BBC didn't let them?What if Mark Gatiss, who seems like a lovely person, is actually the evil incarnate and a homophobic, cruel gay who likes to torment people like him? How can I tell? I don't know him. What if Mofftiss are lying liars who lie about lying about lying about lying and they really are playing a long game here. Maybe they intentionally made series 4 not gay and hurt the fans only to make the kiss in series 5 sweeter? Who can tell?

Did Gatiss honestly tell gay fans via Mary that it doesn't matter who they really are? Would he do that? Will he and Moffat butcher Dracula and make him not explicitly gay?

What if I, a Sheriarty shipper, completely misinterpreted the Moriarty episodes? What if Sherlock is, in fact, scared of Moriarty and there's no chemistry? Perhaps Sherlock wanted to catch Moriarty to save John and be gay with him? Could the Sheriarty content be just a cynical milkshake to lure the hungry Fannibals to the yard? What if the Sheriarty scene from TAB was not sentimentally and sexually charged? What if Moriarty's motivation was 'if I can't have you, then no one can'? WHAT IF SHERLOCK JUST HAD A GUN IN HIS POCKET AND WASN’T PLEASED TO SEE HIM?

What if Adlock isn't canon? Is Irene's theme really a johnlock theme? The person who deflowered Sherlock, Irene or John? Were Irene's pupils dilated because she was scared? Did she say 'Well I am [gay], look at us both' to prove there was no Adlock, not because saying 'Well I am bisexual' would make no sense? Were all the reminders of Irene meaningless? Do I ship it bc I'm straight? Was I.... straight-baited?

Was it a coincidence that Sherlock said 'I'm you' to Jim and played Irene's theme when asked to play himself? Was the Adlock/Sheriarty mash-up (TAB) unimportant? Is Sherlock actually attracted only to his exact opposite, John boring dull predictable Watson?

What if that Arwel guy is not a funny person who likes elephants and things that glow? What if he taunted the cult with gay elephants all those years? I'm actually surprised to have heard of the Eurus' glass elephant just recently and not from a cult member. Huh. Is the glowing skull a secret sign? What if the billboards from HLV were not a coincidence?

And what if all the small inconsistencies like the disappearing John from the T6T scene with Hopkins are, in fact, important? Look, as a Holmescest shipper, I watched the Unwise, brother mine scene many, many times. Two inconsistencies there. 

What if the First TJLCer and John are actually likeable characters? Is John's abusive behaviour excusable bc of sexual frustration and being closeted? Was his awful comment about Mycroft (what goes around comes around) justified? We may never know.

Is johnlock actually a sweet, lovely, vanilla ship, romantic and pure? Despite all the women deceived and used to stop the gossip? It bothers me, actually. Maybe it's because I think that honesty in any relationship is crucial. Did Sherlock and John really flirt with each other in Mary's or Irene's presence? Did John make a decision to marry Mary just to prove he's straight, although he could have just ditch the bitch and make out with his loved-up booooooooooyfriend? Is it ok for a bi-curious person to lie to their straight partner and use them a shield? Should I root for a gay couple who try to get together on the fucking WEDDING RECEPTION in front of the clueless bride? Is this good? Do I find it disgusting and inexcusable bc I'm not gay? Maybe it is a gay fantasy, the opposite of the hetero wish to turn a gay person straight?  Mystery.

Is this theory that the true villain of BBC Sherlock is anyone who thinks Sherlock is not gay right? Do I erase an important part of his personality bc I don't want Sherlock the fictional character to be happy the way he should have been from the start? Was ACD inspired by Oscar Wilde and the original Sherlock Holmes was in as gay as Wilde? Did Watson invent Mary Morstan to be safely gay with Holmes?

Is the unaired pilot gay and I can't see it bc I am not? Did Sherlock say that he knew being gay is fine not because John said his 'which is fine' the way I say 'I do like the Germans and I’m not scared of the German nationalism and do not resent them for using the most hideous language in the world, no sir'? Did Sherlock never correct the people who assumed he was John's boyfriend not because he simply didn't care what they thought about him?

What if Mary killed herself to make Sherlock commit suicide? What if Sherlock hated her the whole time and only pretended he liked her, so very convincingly? Did he and John conspire to murder her while she was heavily pregnant and sipped tea in John's chair? Was she the real Moriarty? Did she work for CAM? For Mycroft? Did the homicidal Sherlock and John try to protect her from Ajay because... they wanted to kill her themselves?

Was the Warstan reunion in HLV not sweet and realistic but sinister? Did John threaten her while she was pregnant with his child?

Is the *sigh* M theory true? Moriarty, Mary and Magnussen using Mycroft to destroy johnlock? Because nothing else that universe is more important than these two Brits licking Marmite off the other's prick.

What if our perception of the acronym cult is wrong? Maybe it's not just toxic. Maybe it helps its members embrace their sexuality. Maybe they were just trying to defend themselves? Maybe the only member who needed therapy was one of the leaders? Was it ok for another leader, the one who's still active, to respond to my message by going through my blog and judging the content? Despite my having mentioned twice in the message that I was just curious and had no evil intentions. I'm no expert.

Is the concept of a slow-burn romance (with a huge portion of miscommunication) between John and Sherlock possible? Wouldn't Sherlock just say: 'John, we should kiss, for science!' or John, when Sherlock returned, 'I have missed you so much. Don't ever leave again. Also, I love you, I can say this now.'

Did the suggestion to name the baby Sherlock actually meant 'I wish we have got married, I'd love to be your Sherlock Watson'? Did John the free widower say 'the chance doesn't last forever' and put so much emphasis on the word 'alive' because... I dunno, really.

Does John's 'I am not gay/not Sherlock's boyfriend' mean: 'I'm bisexual and would love to show Sherlock some military discipline'? Wouldn’t bi-John feel comfortable with Hudders, enough to tell her his secret?

Was John's reaction to Mary's death really less emotional than his reaction to Sherlock's suicide?

Was John's WTF when Janine strode out of Sherlock's bedroom jealousy and not the strong feeling that Sherlock either changed overnight or was doing some serious bullshitting?

Is Sherlock’s reaction to Janine and that other female character flirting with him a definite proof that he does not want to offer his virginity to a woman? Even... The Woman?

Was the idea of Warstan bad enough to make Sherlock suicidal on FIVE separate occasions? I counted: the sad, suicidal chips in TEH, the conversation with Sholto through the door, the post-wedding relapse that was NOT for a case, the TAB overdose and the TLD relapse. Dude. Sherlock, son, maybe find a hobby.

Did Mofftiss lose their minds and made not one but TWO 'all in your head' series? Is John dying? Is Sherlock in a coma? Was Eurus real? Is Redbeard a dog? Do I care?

Are Adlock and Smallcroft shippers delusional bc both Holmes brothers are so obviously gay? Is it all right to say that a character's sexual orientation cannot be different from the actor's (but only if the actor is gay)? Does Gatiss have a right to play or create non-gay characters?  Is he morally obliged to make every Sherlock character gay? Does he owe anything to the gay community?

What if having your otp work together and raise a kid together is not enough?

WAS THE LAZARUS REAL? I do agree with finalproblem on this particular subject, 100%.

Is Jim Moriarty alive? Is Mary alive? Is Rosie real?

IS FUCKY a real, useable word?

WAS IT HUDDERS WHO SAID 'SOFTER, SHERLOCK' IN TFP??? That old, stoned witch, I knew I shouldn't trust her.

WHAT IF THERE WILL BE A LOST SPECIAL/LOST GAY BAR SCENE/THE KISS AND WE, THE NON-BELIEVERS/CASUAL ANTIS, WILL DIE OF SHOCK AND CHOKE ON OUR HOMOPHOBIA?

WHAT IF IT WAS TWINS???

Seriously, though. Do I think conspiracy theorists are crazy in real life? No. I think I'm fairly normal despite my strong belief that General Sikorski was murdered by the British. I will NEVER accept that it was an accident. Never. 

Thank you, that was a journey.