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#i mean it's been fun and i improved a lot
quitealotofsodapop · 2 days
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more Soft Boiled!
[the little red ribbon in her hair!!! And she has her own version of Macaque's scarf!!]
the red ribbon was meant to be phoenix feathers like Wukong's cap, and I like ti think her scarf may actually be a piece of Macaque's original scarf. the one he wears pre-death is different from his scarf post-resurrection, so maybe after he died Wukong wanted to keep a momento for himself/his unborn daughter. Macaque comes back to life and assumed the scarf, which was a gift from Wukong in the first place, had been rescinded as a show of them no longer being together. that is, until he recognizes the fabric hanging from the shoulders of a familiar black-furred child that just broke his nose mid shadow play.
[Wukong about to get a talking to the second his adoptive family gets a hold of him. Once the monkey recovers from the early labour, and has emotionally recovered from the rollercoaster that was Yuebei's birth ofc.]
I can imagine PIF helping as a sort of midwife through the whole thing, and being very supportive and giving a lot of great advice, having gone through a similarly rough pregnancy not overly long ago herself (I also like to think Red Son, due to the fire causing the pregnancy and birth complication, was also a premmie). aaanndd then the moment Wukong is ok again after Yuebei is confirmed ok she's turning into the most foul-mouthed, harshest, rage filled person in the room. the others don't bother scolding Wukong much, taking softer tones in despite their concern and annoyance, partly because she said it all first, and partly because they feel bad about how utterly devastating her rant was.
[It would be so cute if Yuebei first started crying over something completely normal - for some reason, I'm thinking it's something like Zhu Bajie trying to pull a funny face for her. Wukong is so relieved to hear his baby crying that he doesn't even scold his pilgrim brother for scaring her!]
she's awake, but barely, and still so, so quiet. then, admist the other pilgrims quiet fussing over her, Zhu Bajie tries to lighten the mood by making a face. she starts wailing. Wukong, who was just about ready to go out like a light, instantly is next to the crib, picking her up and both trying to comfort her and himself as he cries in joy and relief. the others have a similar joyous reaction, except for Bajie, who is very wounded by the thought of being ugly enough to make a baby cry.
[Wukong would be so protective of his little Moon Comet Star. She was so sickly and weak as a baby, that he worries about ever letting her leave places he knows to be safe.]
maybe another lasting affect of her brief encounter with the fire is sever asthma. not great for a premature newborn. I imagine it would be something that sticks with you if your baby is constantly wheezing, coughing, unable to really make sounds, struggling to eat, struggling to breath, and maybe even stops breathing entirely entirely at times. And with almost nothing you can do, as back when she was born their wouldn't really have been much treatment or medicine for things like asthma. the constant worry of Yuebei suddenly not being able to breath probably means she never really got to go places, especially without her Baba. heaven forbid is she also has any seasonal allergies. not to say Wukong was a total helicopter parent, but he definitely worried.
Wukong is aware enough to understand that this is not a normal, or ideal childhood, so now that she's a bit bigger and stronger he's really trying to not lose his mind with anxiety every time MK takes her somewhere new off island without him. he even tries to encourage her to go out, so even if he has worries and a few different concerns when MK mentions the noodle shop all got tickets plus an extra one for the his daughter to a shadow play he tries not to stifle anyone's fun.
[That and I can imagine Wukong took her to stay with Guanyin on her unaging island for a while to help her health improve.] + [I bet even with Guanyin, "Cousin" Nezha, and the very rare corespondance with PIF and Red Son, Yuebei spends a lot of her childhood lonely]
as mentioned above, with her having been so sick she def would have spent a lot of time at Guanyin's. she's a renowned healer, and Guanyin is someone he trusts dearly to boot, so going to the goddess is a win-win in his eyes.
and yeah. between not being allowed to go out to new places much due to being a sickly child, and Wukong's reputation and not having anyone to connect with other then busy celestials, there's not much chance to go exploring. the monkeys are fun, but they and her baba treat her very delicately even when playing. her baba is awesome in her eyes, and its one thing for your parent to be someone you can call a best friend, but its a little different when your parent is your only friend. its why, despite not liking him much, she jumps at MK's offer to take her off island and into the city without her baba sometimes.
I feel like she'd make fast friends with Bai He once the LBD fiasco is over.
[Yuebei is gonna have a time when she starts understanding whats really going on with the Noodle Gang, and why her family "suddenly" can't remember her. Wukong blames himself for not explaining it better to her earlier, but hadn't wanted to dump so much loss on his babygirl all at once - it was a lose-lose situation.]
Yuebei learning and coming to understand what's happened probably ends up being the b-plot of an episode. maybe "Amnesia Rules", instead of Wukong getting his memories back by getting hit over the head, it happens because he realizes through Yuebei having an emotional breakdown over the others, and now her own father, having forgetton her and he realizes that she's describing them having reincarnated and he's like "ah! that's what happened." and explains more indepth what that means to her. the others hear of her feeling about "them forgtting her" for the first time during this, and can't help but feel bad and try and help Wukong explain. she probably clings to her baba for a long time after, and stops being as cld to the others. maybe even kinda apologizes to MK for thinking he stole them from her.
maybe. not sure how well the idea works.
[Yuebei doesn't like Macaque, but she doesn't completely abhor the idea of him and her baba becoming close again. She just doesn't want either of them to get hurt again.]
she doesn't protest her presence much, as her baba seems... hopeful (though still a little sad sometimes) when he's around, and she also doesn't hate the idea of having her second baba around. but she also doesn't let him off scott free, glaring over Wukong's shoulder at him when macaque gets to close to soon, clinging to Wukong when he tries to talk to her, not talking much around him even if he addresses her directly, and generally not being very receptive. she probably at some point goes through a "rebelious phase" where she does things to test if he'll "really stick around even if she's troublesome". as far as she knows, he didn't even want her in the first place, or at least didn't care that Wukong was having her, so to her it seems like a reasonable thing to question.
[Azure Lion about to get decked in the face the second he comes around. When did the monkeys multiply? Why is he on fire?]
what can Yuebei say? she's fiercely protective and not happy about someone trying to take away her baba again.
[Wukong is just watching Yuebei tear into their enemies like; "I love my strong little girl." <3]
probably been said before, but no matter the universe; Wukong is a proud dad to all his kids at all times
Prev.
[Macaque comes back to life and assumed the scarf, which was a gift from Wukong in the first place, had been rescinded as a show of them no longer being together. that is, until he recognizes the fabric hanging from the shoulders of a familiar black-furred child that just broke his nose mid shadow play.]
I'm sorry but that is the cutest/saddest gotdamn thing ever. Wukong was so distraught at losing Macaque that he couldn't bare to leave behind his most cherished possession. So he took the scarf. Wrapped it around himself when he felt cold. Maybe even used it to swaddle his new baby girl. Yuebei dragging it around the cave as her security blanket. It being carefully washed and repaired so many times that it's barely red any more.
In the end, Wukong wanted Macaque to be there with him through all of This.
And once the reality sets in, Macaque is sobbing at the sight of Yuebei wearing her beloved scarf as he once did.
And I just love that my reoccurring theme with Macaque in the Egg aus is;
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[aaanndd then the moment Wukong is ok again after Yuebei is confirmed ok she's turning into the most foul-mouthed, harshest, rage filled person in the room.]
PIF is terrifying when she's genuinely angry/worried - and once Wukong and Yuebei are safe/healthy post-natal, she starts yelling.
Wukong now finally understands what Macaque meant when he said his "ears are burning". Once the woman calms down, she wraps Wukong into a near-crushing hug, thanking and begging him to never ever do something so stupid again. Even if it saved her baby, Wukong nearly lost his. And PIF would never forgive herself if little Yuebei had been lost to the fire.
Yuebei gets a tearful kiss on the forehead from her auntie before PIF leaves the room, content with the words spoken.
Wukong makes sure to hug DBK when he sees him next, knowing that the Bull feels the same as his wife over the matter.
[the others have a similar joyous reaction, except for Bajie, who is very wounded by the thought of being ugly enough to make a baby cry.]
HAHA! XD Bajie would take it as an insult - but at least his little bro is happy to hear the baby make noise. A loud piglet is a healthy piglet. And little Yuebei was a real quiet piglet for a long time... at least she stops being afraid of ol' Uncle Bajie when she gets a little bigger.
I immediately thought of a scene from Hero is Back where Bajie is trying to calm down the baby Silly Girl by pulling a face, only for the baby to start screaming at him.
[maybe another lasting affect of her brief encounter with the fire is sever asthma. not great for a premature newborn.] + [heaven forbid is she also has any seasonal allergies. not to say Wukong was a total helicopter parent, but he definitely worried.] + [and yeah. between not being allowed to go out to new places much due to being a sickly child, and Wukong's reputation and not having anyone to connect with other then busy celestials, there's not much chance to go exploring.]
Oof. This hit me as an asthmatic preemie myself. Cus so much of my health was compromised as a little kid, I wasn't very active or adventurous - something thats easy to regret as an adult.
Wukong is so scared of how fragile his cub is. He's immortal, he's indestructable - but that means nothing to him if he can't protect his baby. He knows that mint and licorice, and anti-muscosal formulas help people with poor lungs, but the science back then wasn't 100% sure, and he sure as Diyu wasn't letting his daughter smoke datura cigarettes like the western doctors reccomended! At least the Eqyptians had Kyphi - an incense mixture (multiple formulas) that was frequently repurposed into asthma treatments.
All he can really do is to have a fully-stocked pharmacy inside Water-Curtain Cave, and make sure Yuebei stays away from pollen-rich flowers.
Wukong cries with relief in the early 20th century when Ventolin, Antihistamines, and Epinephrine become common knowledge.
Bonus: Interesting article I found on asthma treatment in Traditional Chinese medicine.
[as mentioned above, with her having been so sick she def would have spent a lot of time at Guanyin's. she's a renowned healer, and Guanyin is someone he trusts dearly to boot, so going to the goddess is a win-win in his eyes.]
Yuebei probably sees Guanyin as an aunt/grandparent figure. Hard not to when the bodhisattva is so doting over the tiny girl. Yuebei finds a lot of her lessons and treatments boring, but at least for a long time she had Red to hang out with.
Guanyin knows Wukong wouldn't trust Yuebei's care with them lightly. Even if Guanyin was present to bless Yuebei's arrival, the Monkey King is hesistant to let anyone tend to his little girl for a long time. The goddess is honoured to be so trusted.
[she jumps at MK's offer to take her off island and into the city without her baba sometimes.]
It's the thing that allows her to open up to MK a little more, even with her burning jealousy of how he's spending so much time with her baba + the Noodle Gang family + him getting to have a "normal" life pretending to be a healthy human cub.
She likes arcades but they get very loud for her at times. MK is quick to notice when the "Monkey Princess" (as he calls her) gets overstimulated, and suggests that they check out a quieter activity.
Like a play.
[I feel like she'd make fast friends with Bai He once the LBD fiasco is over.]
Little girl gang! And if Bai He is a foster kid/orphan like I hc, then Yuebei has zero issue letting another sickly little girl into her family. She's very sympathetic and understanding of Bai He's physical limits ever since she hosted LBD - the human girl now aching constantly from her body being forced to move like a puppet. The two jokingly compare how one briefly hosted Fire while the other Ice. Bai He could be considered the more feminine of the two, but they both bond over shared interest in animal science - Yuebei still loves her dinosaurs while Bai He is still a die-hard cat fan. And ofc the inherent chaos that two fearless little girls can get up to when they wander off from their babas' watchful gaze.
[the others hear of her feeling about "them forgtting her" for the first time during this, and can't help but feel bad and try and help Wukong explain. she probably clings to her baba for a long time after, and stops being as cld to the others. maybe even kinda apologizes to MK for thinking he stole them from her. maybe. not sure how well the idea works.]
Ultimately, even if Yuebei understood how death/reincarnation worked, she would still feel "forgotten" as (nearly) every soul that passes through Diyu is made to drink Meng Po's broth and forget their past lives. The little girl still feels abandoned in some way by her Pilgrim uncles "leaving" her and her baba. It's bad enough that Uncle Bull had to go away for a long time, but to lose her uncles, only to see them again in new forms that don't recognize her, devastates Yuebei in a way thats hard for her to articulate.
And for her own parent to be afflicted in a way that makes him unable to remember her? Oh you better believe Yuebei is a complete mess.
When Wukong briefly loses his memory in "Amnesia Rules"; he initially panics, wondering why he can't "feel the Egg" any more - only to look over at Yuebei and have a moment of fractured memory thinking that she must be a projection from the future, or an Egg Macaque made on his own without him.
This assumption continues unaddressed until the gang manages to get Tang back, and befriend Scorpion Queen. As they're about to get Wukong to go back into astral meditation to "reboot" himself, the ginger monkey turns to ask Yuebei something thats been plaguing him all day.
Amnesiac!Wukong: "Are you my Egg?" Yuebei, sadly: "I was..." Amnesiac!Wukong: "Aww. Come here, cub." (*Wukong pulls Yuebei in for a hug*) Amnesiac!Wukong: "If you really are my little Egg many years from now, I'm happy that she grows into a strong, fearless little lady. I'm proud to be your Baba." Yuebei: (*cries into Wukong's shoulder*) "I love you baba..." Amnesiac!Wukong, crying too: "I'm so happy to be able to hear that. I was so scared when you tried absorbing the Samadhi Fire... I thought I lost you. But you're a tough little girl aren't you? You spat that fire right out like it was sour!" Yuebei, aware of her birth circumstances: "Yeah. You tell me that story all the time." Pigsy and Tang, not aware: "What?"
Pigsy and Tang are so emotional over the amnesiac!father-daughter bonding, that they are completely off-guard when the older monkey rattles off some details about the Samadhi Fire that he neglected to let the others in on.
[she probably at some point goes through a "rebelious phase" where she does things to test if he'll "really stick around even if she's troublesome". as far as she knows, he didn't even want her in the first place, or at least didn't care that Wukong was having her, so to her it seems like a reasonable thing to question.]
Ooof!! I love the idea of Yuebei antagonising Macaque "just to be sure" that he's serious about staying around. Macaque honestly tries his best to be patient, but after a while he starts to get super annoyed with the girl's attitude.
Then one stray prank or comment rolls into a genuine verbal confrontation.
Macaque: "What is it about me that offends you so much!? I get it - my and your dad had a few fights and I sorta almost destroyed the world trying to escape the Bone Demon - but I'm trying my best here! I wouldn't have broken your dad out of his possession if I didn't think he was worth sticking around for!" Yuebei, emotional: "How am I supposed to believe that when you left us twice!?" Macaque, realizing: "Twice? What do you mean by- OH." Yuebei: (*trying not to cry*) Macaque: "You... you thought I knew? Kid, I only learned you even existed as a concept when Jin and Yin busted my lip open first thing after New Years." Yuebei: "You have your special ears! You should have known I was there when you-" (*stops talking, buries head into knees*) Macaque, extremely guilty: "I should have. I really should have. But I chose not to listen. I was just so... angry at that monk, at the circlet, even at your baba, I..." *sighs* "Maybe if I had stopped to listen, I would have known you were there. That Wukong had someone he would kill me for. I don't blame him for that." Yuebei, lifts head from knees: "You don't?" Macaque: "Nah. You're a lot cooler than I am. You took the Samadhi Fire head in before you were even born. And when you saw the Bone Demon, you didn't run and hide like I did - you and MK took that witch out. And did I see a certain little warrior take her first war trophy before we left?" Yuebei, avoiding eye contact: "She isn't using it..." Macaque: "To be fair it wasn't getting much use with her anyway. If she had a brain in that skull, she'd know Wukong picks a good troop. I just wished I had known that a few centuries ago..." Yuebei & Macaque share an awkward silence Macaque: "I wanna stick around kiddo. I missed out on a lot when I left. Both times really... But I want to stay. Flower Fruit Mountain is my home too, and I hope someday it could be a home me and your baba can share together again. Even if you don't believe me." Yuebei: (*affectionate elbow jab into Mac's rib*) Macaque, chuckling: "Well, that's progress from the nose busting." Yuebei: (*trying not to laugh*)
Bonus: Wukong hears some of this convo, or it's parroted to him by one of the (sneaked-out of Diyu with Mac) Eclipse twins. You know this monkey crying over his former mate and his baby girl finally starting to get along!
[what can Yuebei say? she's fiercely protective and not happy about someone trying to take away her baba again.]
The only reason Azure gets as far as he does with the Memory Scroll is that Yuebei is either A: Not on FFM at the time, or B: Got Memory Scroll'd in the confusion.
Otherwise, she starts kicking and punching Azure the second she clocks who he is. MK and Mei are gonna have to drag her off of him.
The Jade Emperor and Xiwangmu see this tiny monkey, burning with rightous anger and protectiveness, and just know who's cub she is. The Emperor does however, look over to his wife very briefly to ask if the little girl dragging Azure Lion by the scruff of the neck to Diyu is a lost grandchild of theirs.
[probably been said before, but no matter the universe; Wukong is a proud dad to all his kids at all times]
Wukong loves his kids so gotdang much. Canon or au - him a proud dad.
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This got a little away from me - I hope you liked my reply!
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bossbambi · 22 hours
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Looking at all the leaks and changes that have been made, I'm actually pretty curious how Rook's Rest turned out and what motivated Aemond to betray Aegon.
I'm pretty sure it'll be related to the brothel scene from episode 3 but I honestly hope they're at least going to add some depth to it.
From Aemond's perspective, it does make sense that he's angry at Aegon. He's been his biggest bully, constantly making fun of him, abusing him. Aemond has spent almost all of his life quietly enduring whatever Aegon did to him, keeping his pain to himself because Viserys and Otto wouldn't care and Alicent relied on him being her only "normal" and properly functioning child. Instead of complaining, he used his pain to improve himself. He's a skilled fighter, smart and cunning and unlike his brother, he's actually fit and willing to become king.
And yet, Aegon becomes king and Aemond accepts it. He supports his brother's claim, goes and secures allies for him and they more or less get along for awhile. But then Aemond kills Luke, sets of the war and becomes partially responsible for the death of Jaehaerys. Honestly, I feel like there's a lot missing between Luke dying and the brothel scene because we actually don't know how Aegon and everyone else reacted to Luke or how Aemond feels about Jaehaerys. Since he went to the brothel in episode 1 (likely to find comfort), there is a chance he went there again for the same reason, maybe even because he heard what happened to Jaehaerys.
Either way, as fucked up as it might be, the brothel appears to be some kind of safe space for Aemond and suddenly there's his brother and makes fun of him, they're laughing at him again. He doesn't feel safe anymore and he's so angry. Maybe he doesn't actually plan to betray Aegon until Rook's Rest happens. Maybe an opportunity presents itself and Aemond realizes he can finally end it all, become king like he always deserved. He's still angry. So he goes for it.
This actually became far longer than I intended but Aemond is strangely fun to analyze.
To be honest, I don't even know if I'm actually on Aemond's side here (at least not fully) because Aegon also has his reasons to be angry and sadly he tends to drown his sorrows in alcohol and becomes mean. However I'm pretty sure the writers will stick to Aemond's perspective (considering Aegon's in "coma" anyway) and like I said above, I'm just hoping they're going to give us more than just "he was mean in the brothel and now I'm mad".
Anyway, thanks to everyone who read this far, I guess 💜
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aleprouswitch · 2 days
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Rare selfies. I really don't like the way I look now in a lot of ways, but at least my skin is clear and my hair isn't a giant frizz-ball like it normally is in the summer.
I also want to add that when I mention "binge eating" and "binge drinking" I don't mean all the time or every night. Things have been a bit off the rails for the past week or so though, and I feel bad about it.
Self-awareness is a good thing though, and I've been very self-aware my entire life. I think I want to dedicate the rest of this summer to self-improvement and maybe just focus on playing music for fun and not stressing myself out so much on this very depressing album.
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I’m back from my break and also. . . Here’s An Apology to my followers and friends.
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Before you all get upset with me, I’m just back from my break, and NO, I’m not leaving Tumblr and by telling you why I’m apologizing, it’s because. . . . . . I just wanted to stay at tumblr than going back to that hellsite Deviantart. . . . . . I know DA has like almost 99% contreverisial stuff like AI, Making DA User go on Eclipes, and furthermore, DA is own by Wix, A company from Israel which I HIGHLY don’t Support . And forgot to mention of how awful I treated my friends, followers, and random people on both DA and Tumblr. I just want to improve on myself, but I acted immature and I
@nicky-toony, I just want to say that I’m am sorry, I just wanted to stay at tumblr, Because if I got back to that hellsite, I’ll be even more stressed, and unhappy, so I’m better off at tumblr than that awful DA. . . . . Like you know, and the way we act so immature to others, the others don’t please us, so Nicky, if your reading this, I’m sorry for being a bad friend to you, I understand why I was so controlling over you the whole time, we are the ones acting like immature teens on the internet.
and to everyone from here and DA. . . . . . . I so sorry for being such a huge jerk and how I acted in front to everyone, I was so dumb and immature I could’ve just listen wisely to everyone around me, but instead Im always so angry and selfish to others and how I treated them. and BerryBoyHub was right about me, I have lied and manipulated all of you just because it’s doesn’t mean I’m a attention seeker, I just wanted not to be alone again, so I have to just make “friends” with random strangers who don’t give a damn about me. I’ve always been alone, I somehow don’t talk a lot IRL, My mom always says to me to find friends exactly like my age, I found some on the internet, like all of you, who are teens like me or young adults but the thing is that I wish I can improve my actions and I should think before I acted to all of you, I wanted to act like a mature teenager with autism but instead, I was acting like a immature teenage bratty 17 years old who makes really wrong choices. . . . . . . Like an infamous example of faking death, lashing out on others, and being selfish and a liar according to everyone. . . . . . Me and my friends also act like immature and ignorant losers and many user out there on Tumblr hated on how we don’t act like proper teenagers and young adults. I wish I can improve on my behavior more and become better at dealing with myself and my own problems both IRL and the internet . . . . . . . I just wanted to make people happy for me . . . . . . . . . . . . . And I know everyone is still upset with me for what I did. . . . . . I’m sorry for acting like a problematic and immature child. . . . . . I want to stay at tumblr, to enjoy, to make friends, to continue on making fun arts, improve more on being a better person, and make people happy for me. . . . . . I hope you understand.
@nicky-toony
@artgygrl
@smurfylegofan2005
@sakiohappynoi
@ghosthyena74
@emo-gals-4life
@someonefromyt
@adam-frankenweenie
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antimonyandthyme · 2 days
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hellooo athy i love your words. could you maybe share with us how you got started writing fic and three things that you've learned along the way? thanking u
Anon you are very very sweet and very very kind! Thank you for this lovely ask. Kekekeke I'll let you in on a secret! I discovered fic because I found my sister's OC writing printed out and hidden in a drawer once and I was like woah what is this?? And she went oh NOOOOooOOOO and then she was like fine since you've already seen it lemme introduce you to the wonderful world of fic! It all started from there. The first thing I ever wrote was for Guilty Gear. Imagine that! Guilty Gear. It never got anywhere, just in my silly little notebook that I've long lost. And it was a little while before I dared put anything up. But I'm glad I did! It's been such a great time!
It isn't fancy by any means, but three things that I've learned:
Writing's a lot more fun when done with people! Prior to F1 I've never really interacted with fandom much, I just wrote my Naruto and Haikyuu!! stories and hoped people would read them. I lurked a little (a lot) before creating this tumblr when I got into F1. And then I started talking! With other writers! And readers! I got to chatficcing! And I got to improving. I had people around me who would suggest ideas for what I could add to my stories. Give me tips when I was stuck. Tell me what was good and what I could do better. Lend their expertise! Like when writing Shutter Speed and I had no idea what gallery shows were like and @sebrrari held my hand and gave me advice and was basically one of the greatest reasons I finished the fic. I'm so much more motivated to finish writing projects because I know I have a tiny group of people who will light me on fire (affectionately) after I publish something unhinged.
I struggled with writing length and to be honest I still do! I get distracted by new ideas constantly. If I can't finish something in <5k words I sometimes lose interest and the next shiniest thing takes over. There have been several things that have helped. One, forcing my sections in my writing to be a certain word count. It seems a little contrived, but it's made me linger where other times I would have just hopped off to the next bit. Two, forcing myself to split my writing over several days. Once again, lingering and adding meat because I've had time in the day to mull over details. Three, joining exchanges like the F1 Big Bang. Nothing like a word requirement to nudge you towards a longer journey.
I'll end with something a little silly heehee. I started off really going for synonyms when it came to expressing characters speaking. I mean really going for it. "I hate you," he intoned. "I like this," she gasped. "You're wrong," they yelled. This might be a preference thing, but "said" or "says" has evolved to be my favourite and most effective way of reading/writing a conversation. It feels a ton more natural, and it reads a lot smoother too. Mind you, this all goes out the window when I'm writing sex. Kekekeke. Because now he whined/he moaned/he sobbed sounds a lot hotter.
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daedelweiss · 11 months
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i'm finishing the trailer today or else i'll explode and make it everyone's problem /j
it's almost done... i promise 😫
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 days
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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klonoadoortophantomile · 11 months
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okay fuck it actually heres a drawing from the other day
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therosejamjournal · 2 years
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thinking about how smile (2022) is every traumatised person's worst nightmare. how the message clearly says "your trauma will always win and no matter what you do, you'll swallow it and it'll inhabit your skin forever." how, even if the protagonist had defeated the monster, she would have still lost - the intergenerational trauma has already spread its insidious wings and would survive in the mind of her sister's child. how traumatised people are so often told to just 'suck it up and smile through the pain,' how laughter is the best medicine until it isn't. how misery loves company. and how sometimes healing comes too late too little - you've let the beast grow too strong, it became an intrinsic part of you, your identity.
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coolpikachu · 3 months
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the lake is nothing but blue
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words-be-upon-ye · 4 months
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There are a couple tropes I really love in the space of Miraculous Ladybug fan works, but quite possibly my favorite is when the miraculous holders just get creature from using their powers.
Like yeah, I would say that hosting the power of an abstract concept given sentience, that got shoved into the shape of an animal and bound to a piece of jewelry, would kinda mess with your body a bit.
The little bit of this we get in canon is basically that Adrien loves being a cat and the whole Tikki munches incident.
But I love it when people give them ears and wings and tails, give them eyes that aren't quite human anymore. Fuck with their gender and their sense of body. Sometimes it's body horror, sometimes it's just aesthetic. Love it either way.
I just think it's so fun, a lot of the time it's combined with the like "when a holder and the kawami really respect and bond with each other there's nothing that can be done except having magic bleed into the holder" I think that's fun, but also just making the animal of the kwami a bigger deal is fun. Like if you're going to make it a ladybug you might as well give her wings and antenna and mirrored eyes.
#yes I do like ml#there's just so many characters I like to mess with in my head#also sue me I'm trans and have a certain respect for body horror. for the forced change of your physical self especially when you chose it#anyway I alwasys ramble in the tags#I set up this side blog to hide random writing thoughts I had and oh boy do I have a lot and none of them are on here#and recenetly (and by recently I mean like the past year) I've been hit with so many ml thoughts)#they're all gay#and some of them are cohesive#actually a lot of them revolve around chloe and au's where she gets a meaningful improvement arc#give that gay girl intresting stuff#miraculous ladybug#ml#although one of my ideas is also my very fun very gender take of ml where to conceal their identities ladybug and chat start pretending#to be different people under the masks like they don't need to like explicitly say. they just#switch costumes a lot and they like slyly hint at maybe theres dozens of people who pass around the miraculous to make sure that their#Identities are always safe#and to support the act they also start changing the genders they present as as holders. everyone is like “it's clearly multiple people”#and during this process marinette and Adrien are both like slowly having personal gender revelations#and gabe is like tearing his hair out over having to fight this secret group of superheros that he can never find or catch#but he's still just getting his ass kicked by two kids who're doing the world's most successful costumes change bits#it's like those “fake dating” tropes where they're like “oh but we really do love each other” but with gender#“oh I've got a great idea lets pretend to be different genders sometimes”#cut to “hmh ok so I think I'm not pretending anymore”#oh I do always ramble in the tags
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shrews-art · 2 months
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Being alone at home SO isn't good for me, how does anyone deliberately choose to live on their own 😭
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sophsun1 · 7 months
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Are we not getting our own personal tumblr year in review this year? I was looking forward to seeing how unhinged I was and on what :(
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imflyingfish · 15 days
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I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.
#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest#ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm#im happy with it and its paradise.#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled#which is nonsense its my place and my build#but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect#even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore#it still makes me feel. odd.#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world#atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee#but i get into my own head a lot about the base#its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example#i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water#and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do#and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard#it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building#so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured#but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important#i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn#i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to#but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me#i dont know.#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively#partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all#the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development#idk. this is rambly#fish talks#i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too#much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn#thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging
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shidoukanae · 1 month
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"A dragon is born to be relentless. They do not know the meaning of giving up. If they give their heart to you it's a sign of undying loyalty: and of a trust that will kill them if you break it."
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There are two paths before me.
One is overgrown, full of thorns and bristles and broken branches. The other is sunny and clear.
Surely, the first will lead to nothing but risk, danger, and pain, while the second will be a blissful, joyful walk.
But there's nothing for me on that clear path. No food, no life, no person out there besides myself. I know that the overgrown path can grant me all those things and more, if only it weren't such a wretched way to go.
So I spend some time on the clear path, walking forward until I can't take the loneliness and discontent anymore, and I turn back. But when I arrive where I started, the first path is still overgrown, worse still than before. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I start down the clear path again. When I decide to take care of myself and survive instead of starving to death on the barren trail, I turn back again. And again, the other is overgrown and terrifying.
I go back and forth, until I fall to my knees, crying and begging for someone, anyone, to help me. To remove the thorns and bristles and branches.
And then I realize, this entire time, I've been running from the pain. I've been waiting for the trail to clear up on its own, to grant me safe and easy passage.
It wasn't my fault I was never taught wilderness survival - I don't know how to make it through such an area, bandage the scrapes and wear functional gear and step over the branches. But I can learn, even if I'll experience some hurt along the way.
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