#i mean it'll probably die in like a week

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[tan1shere]

Friends

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: as a bit of an apology for that other fic... LMAOO THIS DOES HAVE A HAPPY ENDING ! I've been obsessed with this song. Like if my future gf doesn't confess her love to me with it I'm gunna sue

Summary: none of you had any idea just how inlove you guys were.

Warnings: a bit angsty at the startish ? But happy ending 😁 this ended up being so so cute eeee - also listening to the song helps near the end when they're in the rain. Makes it more magical hehe

Masterlist

It was another day. Another cold, rainy day. It had been like that for a few weeks now. But you weren't complaining, you loved this kind of weather. Drinking hot drinks, wearing cute clothes, the sound of it on the roof. Even going to cute little Cafes with friends, which is what you were on the way to do now. Your best friend Claudia, Finneas and last but not least Billie. Billie, Billie. Billie. She was beautiful, always teasing you about something but you loved it. Yes you had a crush on her. But you had to stop that.

You had been friends with Finneas first for years, and your crush developed quite quickly when you met Billie for the first time. Only a matter of days and you were drooling at the sight. She'd never see you like that though. Then you introduced Claudia to them, your long time best friend. She knew about this crush and she was the only one who did. It was only natural when she insisted you say something the day Billie came out. You had known for awhile before she publicly announced it. You were a lesbian and open about that, so she came to you when she thought she might be into girls.

It only made things worse. Making you want her even more when she confirmed she wanted to be with a woman. You so desperately wanted that woman to be you. But you doubted she saw you in that way. Causing you to push those feelings aside, and bury it deep within. The looks you always gave her go unnoticed by Claud, she tried time and time again to encourage you to just say something and that..

"You never know what could happen" She says as you and her wait on the other two to order. "Claudia there's no point, it'd just ruin things." "You don't know that!" She insists, but shuts up seconds later as they come back over. Her words always sat with you, replaying over and over in your mind. But you couldn't do it, you had to let it go. Just some silly crush you developed as a kid. It'll go away.

... It's been nearly 7 years. 7 long years with a burning crush for her. A massive secret. Who were you kidding you weren't getting over it. They come back with the drinks in hand. "Matcha for you." Finn says, handing it to Claudia. "Your favorite for you." You smile as Billie says that. She always knew. She knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't, and vise versa. Which probably made you love her even more. If anything you were certain you were inlove with her. Which is why you needed to make this stop somehow.

Few months had passed since the coffee shop. You were sitting at home, scrolling through your phone when you see tiktoks of Quen, Odessa, and Billie in one. You knew she was close with them but you had no idea just how close. But that wasn't even the icing on the cake. Your phone dings with a text from her. "Hey you!" It read. You try to ignore the pit in your stomach after seeing that stupid fucking tiktok. You couldn't let it bother you this much. "Hii Bills." - "Craziest thing right, I mean not so crazy because I've kissed her before. But i love how casual it is, Quen was just saying a joke and kissed me mid way."

Your heart stings for a bit as you read those words. That poison. "Oh really?" - "Shes honestly so funny though, just wanted to text! See how you were doing and all." You bite your lip. How's awful? "I'm fine!" You were glad this was over text cuz boy were you a bad liar. So you're glad she hasn't caught on at all to your crush. Lying your way out of that one would be a mission. Or maybe it wouldn't be. "Good! I'll talk to you later, byeee." You sigh. "Bye.." You say outloud.

Some more time passes by, and very slowly. You had been focusing more on yourself. You even got a promotion in your job. But you weren't sure if you would take it, seeing as you had to move to New York for it. It had been eating at you recently on what to do. You can't bear the thought of not seeing your friends everyday. Even if they could visit but they had busy lives too. It wouldn't be the same. And you weren't sure if you could leave her. Or maybe that was the exact thing you needed.

Maybe you needed to get away so this silly little crush could go bye bye. But once you think it over some more you come to a decision. You couldn't possibly say no to this. This was huge for you after all.

Flashback.

Another rainy day, you two were chilling in Finns basement as Billie works on a few things. She stops for a moment. "Hey, I've been working on this song for a bit. It's nothing major but can you have a listen?" You nod, leaning forward excitedly. As it plays, you fall immediately inlove. Even if it was just a snippet. "Billie! That's beautiful." You beam at her, loving it so much. She blushes slightly at the words. "It's really special. I was thinking of putting the rain in the background if I can manage to. It's so noisy tonight." You nod as she says that. "I love the rain, it brings me such a comfort. The cold weather, snuggling up into blankets. The sound!" She smiles as you talk. She always listened, especially when you rambled. "I know." She says, more so to herself seeing as you hadn't heard her.

"Hey, early like always." Claudia says to you as you enter her house. You greet Finneas and the dogs aswel. "Well you know me." They were currently throwing a small get together, something common for them to do. But you loved it. You were going to break the news tonight. It was decided. Billie had only just arrived shortly after you, coming in and saying hi to everyone. You look at her, wondering if you really should go through with this. She was your best friend. It made you wonder how she's going to take the news. Out of all of them you two were the closest. Hanging out regularly, talking on the phone. So this without a doubt would be hard.

You were all sitting around at the table, talking, eating. When a friend asks Billie if she's done anything new recently music wise. "Well, funny you should ask. I've been writing this song, it's incredibly special to me. It's about this girl, and I think I really like her." You swallow as you hear that. Was it who you think it was about? Was it that same song she got you to listen to? "Ooou Billie liking someone?" Rat pipes up. "I may do." "If you're writing a song for her you must be pretty inlove." She blushes slightly. It had to be about Quen, it just had to. You look down at your food contemplating. That whole situation just made everything easier. So you begin to speak.

"I uhm, I have a small announcement." Everyone then looks at you. Your eyes land on Billies for a split second. "I- got a promotion a few weeks ago." They all start congratulating you, even Billie. But that dies down with your next words. "It uh.. Id have to move to New York though." Things fell silent, saddened faces all around. "That sucks. But we are so proud of you, are you going to take it?" You think for a moment, you look over to Billie but her eyes were on the food on her plate. "Uhm. Yeah, I am." Cheers were then to be heard. "To Y/n!" Rat then says, raising his glass. "To Y/n!" Everyone follows. Everyone but Billie...

Flashback.

Summer time. It was almost your second favorite to winter, but nothing could ever beat your love for it. You and Billie had gone out to a meadow, it was one of her favorite things. Going out to rejoice in nature. And when you had suggested it she couldn't of been more happy. It was better than sitting around in the boiling heat in the house, even with the fan on it was scorching. There was a warm breeze as you two walked through it. Enjoying the sun and grass. Billie was behind you going to grab your wrist. "This was an amazing idea. You know me so well." You smile wide as she says that. "I also know how much energy you have. I'll race you to the end." She chuckles. "Oh please you know I'd beat you-" "Go!" You abruptly say, running off as soon as your sentence finished. "Hey!" She yells running after you.

The whole paddock was huge so it took you a little bit. Along the way you both give up, but as you were about to stop your body's being tackled to the ground. "Gotcha!" She says pinning your arms down. You laugh. "No fair!" Her brow raises. "You know what's not fair? You getting a head start you little cheat." You laugh even more. "I have no clue what you're on about." It was her turn to laugh. "And a liar!" Her hands move to tickle your sides. "Billie!" "A bad one at that." Now your laughs were uncontrollable. She kept going until something sparks. You hadn't realized how close she was. Both of your eyes locking. Everything stills. Her movements. Your breathing. Maybe even time did too. You look at her lips for a second and that's when you look away. Her hand gently grabs your jaw. "You still lost." Your eyes roll going to push her off. "Har har."

She falls beside you as you both lay on your back. Taking in the sky silently. "Everything is so beautiful." You breathe. "Yeah." Billie replies. She wasn't looking at the sky.

The time was nearing. You were packing up your things a few days earlier. Honestly, you were so excited. This could be a brand new start, a refresher. After a longish day you were driving over to Finneas and Claudia's, wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. Wondering why Billie wasn't mentioned? Because she may not even be there. She hasn't been there. Ever since that night, nor had she texted you since then. Which is something she did daily. It broke your heart. But maybe that just made it even easier to leave. Maybe..

"Got most packed?" Claudia asks. You nod, seemingly distracted. "Hey, everything alright?" You look at her. "Oh yeah, just thinking about missing you guys- when. I leave." She had known you for longer than they have, even if you were a bad liar she saw right through you. "Spill." You sigh. "We haven't spoken in weeks.." Her brows furrow. "You and Billie?" You just nod, kinda wanting to avoid this whole thing right now. "Ever since I announced it she's shut me out." Claudia's features softened. "Maybe she just needed time she's your best friend it'll surely hurt-" "But as a best friend she should be here for me. Even if that is so."

Things grew silent, not the horrible kind. "I'm sorry." You shrug. "Guess even in friendship she doesn't want it." - "That's not true." You shrug again. "Even before I mentioned this whole thing she had grown distant. Its like I didn't even matter anymore. She was too busy focusing on this girl." Maybe you hadn't realized how much it upset you. You didn't want it to. But it finally got to you. Claudia notices and brings you in for a hug. She soothes you, trying to not make things seem worse. After a bit you both pull back. "You're going to call me everyday ok? And we will talk about anything and everything." She wipes your slight tears.

Feeling her own fall. You nod, planning on doing so. "Im going to miss you guys." She brings you in for a final hug. "We are going to miss you more."

Flashback.

Parties were something you aren't sure you're use to. But it was quite a frequent thing. Seeing as who you were friends with were in that scene. "I hope this isn't boring like some of them." You sigh, watching Billie come out of your bathroom. She was wearing a loose black button up shirt and some very laid back pants. Another thing you loved about her, she didn't try to be fashionable. She was just always comfortable. "Oh come onnn, it could be so fun!" Even she didn't believe that. She agreed with you, parties like these were just an excuse to drink or get high and you hated it. Everyone could enjoy themselves when they are actually themselves instead of being intoxicated. "I'll make it fun." She then says, striding over to you. Billie had always been flirty in anything she did. Whether it was her tone or actions it'd always be noticeable. Which sure as hell didn't help with the fucking crush.

And delicate touch to your body had you shivering. It felt like she did it on purpose. Maybe she was? "And how do you suppose you'd do that?" She shrugs, getting closer. "Just by being me." Your brows raises, trying so hard to not let show how much of an effect she has on you currently. "If you say so." But that whole night was something else. Sure she could be touchy, and never in a bad way. It was her love language after all. But something about the way you danced together, the way each moment felt. Sure as hell didn't feel like a just friends thing. But ofcourse you were delusional. Because the next day, things were back to the same friendliness. It hurt, all you wanted was to be hers but she didn't feel the same. And you had to accept that.

It was the last day before your move. "This is for Y/n." Finneas says on their couch. It was just him, you, Claudia. And ofcourse Billie. You doubted she even wanted to come at the way she's been acting lately. It upset and angered you. What was wrong with her? "Our best friend. And cheers to the new chapter she's starting!" He finishes. "Here here!" Claudia chimes in. Your heart just sinks as you turn to look at Billie. She was on her phone. Probably texting the mystery girl. You look at your drink, sighing internally. Finneas and Claud just look at one another. "Congrats Y/n." Finneas then concludes.

A slight sadness in his voice. You nod slowly as you 3 drink to it. The night goes on, you wanted some more blue cheese so you get up and go to the kitchen, Billie happening to be there. Things were awkward. You really didn't want them to end this way. "Can't believe it's tomorrow." You say, breaking the air. "Yeah, came by fast." There was more awkward silence. God you felt like crying why was she being like this. But that anger comes back as shes on her phone, again. The last night you have together and she's texting some bitch. "Really?" You manage to get out, after what felt like ages of bottling up whatever it was inside you.

Her eyes move to look at you. "Huh?" You grit your teeth. She sees your eyes gloss over, opening her mouth to speak. "You haven't spoken to me in weeks." You snap. She doesn't say anything, unsure of exactly what she could say. There's many things, but choosing was tricky. "Just forget it, I'm going to go home and rest. Got a big day tomorrow." You say to everyone as you grab your bag, heading out. Remembering you had taken an Uber, grabbing your phone but struggle as the pouring rain shoots down. "Wait!" You then hear behind you.

"No Billie." You really didn't want to speak to her after all she hadn't, all month. All night for fuck sakes. "Please let me talk." You ignore her trying hard to call this damn Uber, but the rain wasn't helping in the slightest. She grabs your phone making you look at her. "Hey!" You say, feeling tears flow. It was hard to tell mixed with the rain. But she notices. She notices everything. "I'm s-" You push her away. "N-no." You shiver. "You hurt me." She stands there dumbfounded. That's not at all what she wanted. Far from it. She's reized how much she's hurt you.

"Please, I really am sorry I shouldn't have iced you out. I was just shocked and a little hurt you hadn't mentioned this to me." You fold your arms not looking at her. "I hadn't told anyone." She scratches her head. "Yeah but, out of anyone I thought youd atleast tell me." You turn to her. "Why? Why do you think that? You haven't been the best friend to me recently. Hell i don't even know what to think anymore." She shakes her head. "Don't say that, please I'm sorry." You stay quiet for a moment. "Just give me my phone."

She was hesitant but with a sigh she does. You soon get fed up, going to walk. "It's freezing, you can't just walk home." - "Why do you care all of a sudden Billie. It's not like you've been so caring lately?!" Another bit of silence. You just shake your head. "Well?" She thinks for a moment. "This morning. I woke up from a dream. Where you and I had to say goodbye." You had no clue where this was going but you were growing inpatient. Wanting a proper answer. "And I don't know what it all means... But since then I realized. Wherever you go that's where I'll follow."

You roll your eyes a bit, not even sure you're getting where this is going, patience growing thinner. "Im tired Billie, goodnight and goodbye." You say walking off again. She started to panic. Frantically thinking. "Y/n!" When you wouldn't stop she sighs. "I love you!" Your feet come to halt at the words. "Or rather, inlove with you." Your eyes widen. Was this a dream too? Were you dreaming? You slowly turn around to look at her. "W-what?" You look at eachother, feeling as if time had stopped again. "If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you."

You feel tears again. This is all you've been longing from her. "Are you serious?" You question. "Serious as anything." You smile, more tears coming down your cheeks. You run over to her, she instinctively picks you up. And finally something else you had been longing for, happened just like that. You felt eachothers lips. Molding together perfectly. It lasted for what felt like eternity. Neither of you wanted to pull away, you knew you needed to though. The rain pours more over you. Making both of your hair sticks to your faces. She moves yours out the way.

"I'm hoping you feel the same?" You laugh. "Yes you idiot. For over 7 years." She smiles wide, so happy that this could finally happen. "Wait- what about the girl- the mystery one?" She chuckles. "We really were blind huh?" Your brows furrow in confusion. "The song was about you. But I never said anything because I was worried I'd ruin things." Your head shakes. "Oh thank God, I honestly thought it was Quen." You breathe out relieved. "Oh goodness no, she's just a friend. Even if I had kissed her it was more of an experience." You nod, understanding everything more now.

"So the song was about me?" You beam. She reflects the same actions. "I thought the lyrics would've been obvious to be honest. Especially with the rain part." - "Guess it just flew past my head." You lock eyes once again. "Well since I know how much rain means to you. What if I asked you a very special question while we're out here in it." Your head tilts. Her hands grabbing your own. "Will you be my girlfriend?" You smile. "I thought you'd never ask." You seal the deal with a kiss. You fell first. But she fell harder.

"No seriously I thought you'd never ask." You both laugh, heading over to her car so you can get home.

[jellybean-supreme]

Mark Me (Peter Hale Fanfic)

Description:

You were dying of heart failure. You were only 23. You didn't want to die. Luckily for you, a nice lady that you met offered you a cure to your sickness, but first she told you everything you had to know about becoming a wolf and the 'consequences', thr hunters. You, of course, agreed. You didn't want to die, not before falling in love.

After Talia, the nice lady you met, turned you she introduced you to the pack, and she even offered you a room in the pack house.

That's where you met him.

Peter Hale.

Talia's brother.

Make me yours

*Talia, the Hale pack alpha turned you out a few weeks ago. She had introduced you to the pack, encouraging you to find someone to stick with but you didn't feel connected with anyone except her brother Peter, but then again, he was twice your age, being 47 and all, but does that really matter?

You had a long day, listening to Talia go on and on about her son and his mate, needing a break, you went to the only place you knew.. Peter's.

You approached his penthouse door, knocking a few times as you were greeted by Peter with a smile* "hey pup, you okay?"

"Hi Petter... Sorry if I'm bothering you. I just need a break right now. Your place was one of the only places I could think of....." You say unsure of your decision to coke here.

*Peter smiled again and gently tugged your shoulder to get you to come in as he closed the door behind you* "no you're not bothering me, pup, I don't mind at all. Come relax a bit, I won't bite you. "

*he teased, gently leading you to his couch to sit down beside him*

"Thank you..." You say softly

*Peter wrapped an arm around you, keeping you against his broad chest as his cologne and sweat filled your nose. His arm had a bit of strength in it, but it also just made you feel so small in his grip*

"it's no problem, pup. What's on your mind?"

'I love the scent,'you think to yourself.

You shook your head.

"It's nothing, I just. It's all a little overwhelming, I guess. Don't get me

wrong, I'm so glad Talia turned me. But I guess I'm just finding out I could have a mate and that.

I don't know.

I was just.

Talia was telling me about her sons mate and I.

I just started thinking that if I hadn't been turned into a werewolf, would I have ever met them?

Probably not. I probably would have died before meeting them." You say sighing. You don't even know why you told Peter. It all just kinda came out. You felt like you could trust him with everything. "

Peter chuckled once you were done rambling, but it held a comforting tone to it as his chuckle vibrated through his chest, bringing a small sense of comfort*

"You don't have anything to worry about with a mate, pup. You'll know when you meet them, they'll have your wolf howling, "he reassured, his fingers gently tracing over your shoulder in a calming manner*

"What do you mean? It is already so loud. Are you saying my wolf will be louder than it is now?" You question

"I think I'm gonna die." You say dramatically.*

Peter laughed heartily and gently shook his head* "no, it won't be louder, don't worry, pup,"he said, his chest slightly rumbling in a teasing manner.

"Your wolf will feel different. It'll help and want to be with your partner and protect them from anything or anyone. You'll know when you've met your mate. "

"What so like how it is about you?" You mumble the question to yourself, not intending to say it outloud.

*Peter's ears were sensitive, hearing you quite easily as he looked down at you*

"Hm? Did you say something pup?"

*he asked, tilting his head ever so slightly as he gently tugged you closer to him, the scent of his cologne overwhelming*

"Huh? What? No? Why did you hear something? i didn't hear a thing. i think you might have a little ghost problem. I'll leave you to deal with that." You reply, running out of his house. You completely forget he was a werewolf and could have heard you.

*Peter watched you run out and couldn't help but chuckle at your reaction as he yelled after you* "You know I have werewolf hearing, right?!"

*he called out, his voice having a hint of laughter and amusement in it. He could smell your embarrassment from where he was sitting on the couch*

*Peter waited for a moment to see if you would come back, but once you didn't return, he got up and went outside to see if he could find you. Being a werewolf, after all, he could smell your scent from a mile away, following it to find you in the forest. It looked as if you were enjoying yourself.*

*He smirked and leaned against a tree watching you for a moment. He wanted to approach you but also wanted to toy with you for a moment, the wolf in him wanting to hear you whine*

*Peter's smirk grew as he watched you, his eyes trailing over your body. He could hear how frantic your heart was beating, clearly still embarrassed from your earlier reaction. Being the tease he was, he decided to toy with you a bit more, moving from behind the tree and slowly walking over to you, his footsteps silent as a mouse*

"Im so stupid. Why am i so stupid? I can't do anything right." You say sighing, as you thought of what to do.

You were to in your thoughts to notice that you weren't alone. You didn't even smell your mates scent or his presence.

*Peter silently came up from behind you, and suddenly, his arms were wrapped around your waist, and his chest gently pressed you into his body. He chuckled at how quickly your heart started racing, your wolf no doubt going crazy by him suddenly holding you. Despite his teasing personality, he was secretly enjoying how easily distracted you became around him.

"What are you doing out here, pup?"

"Hiding......." You reply softly, your voice fulled with sad, frustration, and embarrassment.

"Hiding......." You reply softly, your voice fulled with sad, frustration, and embarrassment.

*Peter chuckled and nuzzled his head into your neck, taking a deep breath of your scent as he inhaled it deep into his nostrils*

"What are you hiding from? From me?"

*he teased, gently nipping at your neck as he held you against him, his arms having a protective yet firm grip on your waist*

You stay silent. Your face gets more flushed as he speaks and touches you.

*Peter chuckled faintly again and continued to nuzzle and nip at your neck, knowing very well the effect it had on you as he spoke lowly into your ear*

"Is that a yes? Are you trying to hide from me, pup?"

*he questioned, his voice filled with a hint of dominance and amusement as one of his hands started to gently trail down your hip*

*Peter nipped at your neck again, this time a bit harder as his hands had a firm yet gentle grip on your waist, preventing you from moving too much as his chest was gently pressed against your back*

"You know you can't exactly hide from me, pup. I can still smell you. My wolf won't allow you too"

*he teased, his voice filled with a mixture of dominance and amusement. It was clear he loved how flustered you were by his every move.

*Peter's nose gently nuzzled and caressed your neck, his hot breath against your skin as he whispered into your ear, his words filled with a hint of a possessive growl*

"I can feel your heart racing, little pup. Are you getting excited?"

*he questioned with a chuckle, his hands now trailing from your waist down to your hips, his touch firm but gentle at the same time*

*Peter's hands continued to caress and gently grope your hips as he gently pressed his body against yours from behind, his chest gently touching your back as he continued to tease you*

"I can also sense how flustered you are, pup. You're so easily flustered by me, aren't you?"

*he teased again, his voice still thick in dominance*

"Only by you....." You reply, trying to make any noises as he continues to grope at nibble you.

*Peter smirked against your neck, his body completely pressed against yours as he whispered into your ear once more*

"Does that mean you want me to continue, pup? Do you want me to keep touching and teasing you?"

*his hands squeezed at your hips as he bit your neck again, his teeth gently marking you with a few love bites*

"Mhmmm."

*Peter chuckled and gently tugged on your hips, pulling them against his as one of his hands moved to gently caress your stomach*

"You're gonna have to speak up, pup. Ask me politely. "

*he demanded, his voice still filled with a tone of dominance. He wanted to hear you begging for his touch*

"Please, please keep touching me."

*Peter's smirk grew as you responded to him, his hand gently massaging your stomach as his other hand continued to explore. He loved hearing you beg for his touch, the wolf in him wanting to completely and utterly wreck you*

"Good pup. Since you asked so nicely, I'll continue. I'm gonna have you begging for more by the end of the night."

Peter pressed himself against you from behind again, one of his thighs pushing against the top of yours as his hands continued to caress your body, his touch firm but gentle. He gently bit at your shoulder again, his teeth leaving small marks before he spoke again.

"You smell so good, pup. My wolf wants to completely and utterly destroy you. Do you want that, hm? For me to completely mark and claim you as mine?"

*Peter's hands continue to touch and caress your body, gently squeezing your hips occasionally as he continued to whisper into your ear*

"Your scent drives me crazy. It drives my wolf crazy. I just want to mark and claim you right here and now in this forest. I want to make you completely mine, pup"

"M-mmmmmh, mak-make me yours," you moan out quietly.

*Peter's eyes flash red, hearing your words and the sound of you moaning. He growls softly and pins you against a tree, pressing his body against yours from behind as he grabs your hips, pulling them against his and his wolf howling loudly in his mind*

"You don't know what you're asking of me, pup. If I mark and claim you as mine, there's no going back. You'll be mine and mine alone. My wolf won't let me let you go or be with anyone else. Do you understand that?"

"I understand. Just make me yours, please. Please, Peter. Make me yours. Mark me. Claim me. Show everyone who I belong to."

*Peter's breathing started to pick up as his grip on your hips tightened, his wolf going into a frenzy from your words. He growled lowly against your neck, his lips attaching to it as he started to leave possessive love bites all over it*

"You're mine, do you hear me, pup? You're all mine. My property. My mate. I'll mark and claim you right here and now"

*Peter's hands moved from your hips and gently ran up your stomach and down your arms, his touch firm and possessive. He continued to bite and leave love bites on your neck, wanting to mark up your skin in any way he could as he pinned you against the tree*

"Once I claim and mark you, every other wolf for miles will know you're mine. You'll be my property, completely and utterly mine. Is that what you want, pup?"

"Mmm, yes. It's all I want."

*Peter continued to leave possessive kisses on your neck, his teeth leaving bite marks as his hands continued to wander your body. He loved how willing and eager you were to give yourself to him, and his wolf was howling with ecstasy*

"You're such a good pup. So willing and eager to give yourself. I've waited so long to have you all to myself, pup. I'm gonna make you mine, once and for all"

*Peter nipped at your ear, his hands squeezing your waist as he pulled you flush against him, his body pressed against yours from behind. He could feel how heated your body was because of him alone, he could smell your desire, and wolf, oh his wolf was going insane with want*

"I can feel how riled up you are, pup. Your body and scent betraying you. You're going to be completely mine. You won't be able to sit for days"

"Mark me, please. Please. I'm begging you." You beg him, not knowing how long you can restrain yourself from jumping on him and doing to him.

*Peter's body and wolf were going into full-on frenzy mode at your desperate pleas, his senses consumed by you. He could sense how badly you were restraining yourself, and he knew he was doing the same*

"You're being such a good pup for me. Letting me mark and claim you as mine. Soon you'll have my mark and everyone will know who you belong to"

*he replied, his voice thick in dominance. He pressed you against the tree once more, his hands moving to your hips as he bit down hard on your neck, marking you as his*

The End

[glorious-spoon]

tell me all the things that i wanna hear [9-1-1 | Buck/Tommy; Buck/Eddie | 1/1]

1.3k words | feelings realization | episode tag

about a week ago i wrote this post about an eddie feelings realization at the bachelor party, so naturally after last night's episode i had to write the fic.

tell me all the things that i wanna hear [on AO3]

-

He doesn't remember it right away.

Which is… not surprising, probably. The bachelor party that wasn't marks the drunkest he's been since before Chris was born, possibly the drunkest he's ever been in his life. He wakes up in a bathtub shirtless and so hungover that he wants to die, and then they discover that Chimney is missing, and it's a long, stressful, terrifying fucking day that keeps Eddie way too busy to focus on any of the garbled flashes of memory from last night. Busting down a hotel door and shouting off-key karaoke at Buck and tilting sloppily together while they poured each other shots—stupid party shit that he's honestly too old for. They're definitely going to owe the hotel damage fees out the ass.

But in the end, Chim is okay. Or, if not okay, at least safely ensconced in a hospital bed. Eddie leaves to pick Chris up from Pepa's and he's still there, shooting the shit with his abuela and slowly sipping his fourth Gatorade of the day in the hopes that it'll settle his stomach enough for him to eat dinner, when he gets the text from Buck that the wedding is still on and he needs to get his ass back to the hospital. So he packs Chris in the car, and doesn't fight it when his abuela also insists on coming—Pepa waves them off with an indulgent smile—and doesn't allow himself to be relieved that the short notice means he has an excuse not to mention it to Marisol.

It's a beautiful wedding, in the end. Perfectly imperfect, in the way all the best things in life are. Eddie gets a little teary-eyed when Chim and Maddie slip the rings onto each other's fingers, and he claps with all the rest, and he just happens to glance up in time to see a flash of blue as Buck slips out the door.

For a moment, he considers following, but Karen nearly trips bringing the cake in, so Eddie jumps in to catch her before tonight can turn into any more of a catastrophe than it already is. From there, there's the usual party bustle of divvying up cake and passing out paper plates, and he forgets about Buck for a little while, at least until he tugs Tommy through the door, the both of them beaming like fools and covered in soot in a way that makes it very fucking obvious what Buck just spent the last twenty minutes doing with his mouth.

Eddie doesn't remember it then, either. He snickers while he watches the rest of the room catch on, while Buck introduces Tommy around to the people who don't already know him, and he catches Buck by the arm as he's making his way over to the cake.

"You might want to go wash your face there, bud," he says.

"What?" Buck blinks at him. Then he rubs at his cheek, and looks at his sooty hand, and goes bright red. "Oh. Um. Shit."

"Yeah."

"I was wondering why…" To Eddie's relief, he's laughing. "Well, that's one way to come out to everybody. Right?"

Eddie laughs. "I guess so. You feeling alright about it?"

"Yeah," Buck says. He glances over to where Tommy is talking to Chim and Maddie. Like he sensed it, Tommy glances up and grins brilliantly at him, and Eddie watches something in Buck's expression go soft and warm and pleased. "Yeah. I'm—I'm feeling really, really good about it."

Eddie's heart gives a funny little thump in his chest. He pats Buck's arm, then lets go. "Well, good. Happy for you, man."

"Thanks, Eddie." Just for a moment, Buck turns that soft expression on him. Then he says, "I'm gonna, uh, go wash up. Save me some cake!"

"Sure," Eddie says, but Buck's already gone. He threads through the crowd to Tommy's side, says something in a low voice to him that makes him laugh and Chim put a long-suffering hand over his eyes. Then they're both moving toward the door together, Tommy's hand resting low on Buck's back.

"Dad, can I have another slice of cake?"

He looks down at Chris. "I don't know, mijo, it's kind of…"

"Come on."

"Alright, fine," Eddie says, caving, if only so he doesn't keep looking at the door that Buck and Tommy left through.

They reappear a few minutes later, freshly scrubbed, and Eddie watches Hen hug first Buck, and then Tommy, who looks startled but hugs her back. Then they head through the crowd together toward the cake. Their hands are linked together. Eddie decides that's a good moment to go give Maddie and Chim his congratulations.

He doesn't remember it then, either. It's not until later, when the crowd is finally trickling out ahead of the end of visiting hours and Maddie and Chim take turns hugging a sleepy Jee-Yun before handing her over to Mrs. Lee, that Buck sidles up to him. 

"I'm gonna get going," he says. Then, to Chris, "Hey, Superman. Awesome party, huh?"

Chris shrugs, all studied adolescent indifference like he didn't insist on coming along. "It was okay. The cake was good."

"Actually, we should probably get going pretty soon too," Eddie says. "Abuela, you good?"

She flaps a hand at him and goes back to her conversation with Mr. Lee, and Buck says, "I'm gonna, uh, give Tommy a ride back to the station so he can drop off his gear."

He's blushing again. Eddie quirks an eyebrow at him. "Just to the station, huh?"

"Shut up," Buck mutters, but he looks pleased. He looks happy, the way a smile steals helplessly onto his face when he glances up at Tommy, who's standing by the door with his turnout coat slung over his arm, talking to Karen. Who glances up like he could tell Buck was looking at him, and smiles back.

"I mean it," Eddie says, instead of ribbing him some more. "I'm happy for you."

"Yeah, yeah," Buck mutters, slinging an arm over his shoulders and pulling him into a jostling half-hug. "I love you, man. You know that, right?"

Eddie tilts against him, his nose just bumping the edge of Buck's jaw, and that's when the memory hits him like a bullet, or a lightning bolt, or something equally sudden and devastating.

That couch in the hotel room. Sitting there with Buck's arm around his shoulders and one of Buck's legs flung over his knees—his shirt was gone by then, and Buck had lost his jacket, and Eddie could feel the warmth of his body through the thin tee he had on underneath. He was waving his hands as he spoke, jostling Eddie, and Eddie turned his face toward Buck and bumped his nose against his cheek just like he is now, and thought with perfect, sober clarity, I could kiss him right now. I want to kiss him.

He goes still. Buck must feel it, because he jostles Eddie a little, his warm, stubbled jaw rough against the bridge of Eddie's nose for just an instant before Eddie turns his head away. "Eddie? You good?"

"Yeah," Eddie says. He doesn't look up at Buck. Isn't sure he could stand to see his face, this close: his blue eyes, his soft lips, he was just kissing Tommy, he wants Tommy, not you, and anyway you're not—you don't—you can't— "Yeah, I'm good. Just kinda hoping I never see another shot of tequila as long as I live."

"Oh, tell me about it," Buck says, and finally releases him. "In retrospect, that was so fucking dumb." "Swear jar," Chris remarks, without looking up from his Switch. 

"Put it on my tab," Buck says, ruffling his hair. "See you guys later."

"Yeah, later," Eddie says, a beat too late. Buck doesn't seem to notice, thankfully. He gives Eddie a quick grin and heads back to where Tommy is waiting. Karen hugs him, and then Hen does, and Tommy waves at Eddie, who manages to gather the wherewithal to wave back. And then they're gone.

Eddie rubs his knuckles against his sternum, where a dull ache has taken up residence, then lets his hand and pulls a smile on before anyone can see.

[wing-ed-thing]

Best Friends with Gaara Relationship Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns

𓆃 The epitome of an adult friendship; you won't see each other or talk for months, but when your schedules magically align weeks later, you pick up exactly where you left off like the time you hadn't seen each other was nothing.

𓆃 Despite not being able to spend regular amounts of time together, your friendship with Gaara is the most stable, closest, and valued friendship you probably have.

𓆃 After all, Gaara's leading a country, and with the bustle of shinobi society, you have your hands full with your profession. Especially if you're pursuing an ambitious shinobi career, you're going to be away traveling for long periods of time.

𓆃 And if you're in the ANBU, you can expect to not see your loved ones for extremely long periods of time.

𓆃 Perhaps if you're a citizen of the Sand, you might see each other more often, but your relationship wouldn't deviate much compared to any other distance.

𓆃 But the time between spending time together isn't what defines your relationship. While the distance appears rather severe on paper, the times you are together, it makes you forget about all the time you were apart.

𓆃 Perhaps it's a lunch or a dinner out, but it lasts for hours just catching up on all the crazy things you've been waiting to tell each other.

𓆃 And when you get older, perhaps Gaara will pull out a physical list of things he's written to tell you along with a new pair of reading glasses.

𓆃 You quite literally never run out of things to talk about, cutting loose with each other just reacting to the various outlandish things you've endured during your time apart.

𓆃 Gaara typically sits very silently when you're talking, expressing his interest through the hand he holds up to his lips.

𓆃 He doesn't make many gestures of acknowledgment outside of his intent forward staring, but know that he's listening very intently.

𓆃 And while he's not a man to have extreme reactions like gasps or surprised outbursts, he will add his own dry commentary that will have you melting with laughter.

𓆃 The rare times he offers a closed-lipped smile and a chuckle are almost always with you.

𓆃 He may cross his arms over his chest, but if in doubt, you can tell he's laughing by the shaking and bobbing of his shoulders.

𓆃 It's quite the sight, and sometimes his employees will try to subtly gather around your meeting spot to catch a glimpse of the ever-serious Kazekage smiling and laughing at jokes.

𓆃 But just because you don't see each other often doesn't mean you're not there for each other.

𓆃 Gaara can and will exhaust all the resources he's able to in order to help you out. He doesn't like to make a show of it and will deny it when he can, but he's a ride or die friend.

𓆃 He's also willing to roll along with more impulsive plans than he lets on. Whether it's spontaneous dinners or a crazy plan you've been dedicated to since lunch, Gaara isn't above pushing back some of his affairs to indulge you.

𓆃 Granted that the things that need tending to aren't urgent.

𓆃 Sometimes you'll write letters, but those are few and far between. But the moment you mention you need assistance, Gaara is more than willing to pull strings to help you where he can.

𓆃 It's always just the right amount of help. He can't solve your problems for you, but he can offer you precisely what you need most times.

𓆃 Prepare to fight over the bill at restaurants and think of something really thoughtful for special holidays because you're constantly making thoughtful gestures to each other.

𓆃 Gaara is comically cryptic about gifts.

𓆃 "Do you have sufficient area in your home?" he might write to you one day, "I'm sending you a gift that needs... sufficient area. I can't tell you how much, or it'll ruin the surprise."

𓆃 He'll also try to leverage his position as Kazekage if you won't let him grab the bill or accept a meaningful act of service— which is all in good fun of course.

𓆃 You'll be smacking his hand away because he's offering to put money down on the table, and he'll look you in the eye with a very serious expression, "You're daring to defy the Kazekage?"

𓆃 It's clear that you and Gaara care about each other very much, so much that your friendship can never be broken by things as silly as "time and distance."

𓆃 You will always be there for each other and remain great and loyal friends for a lifetime.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

I loved Buddy this episode. Exactly the energy I love to see. He remains Completely Mostly-Deliberately Fanatical, but to the point where even the people who coerced him into joining their new religion are like 'You're!!! Doing it wrong!!!!' And Buddy's just like 'I have faith in Bakarath :)' I love him, I love that for him, I love Buddy Dawn so much, please don't die, Buddy, I just wanna have you floatin' around being a silly little uses-his-high-wis-stat-to-deliberately-fail-all-insight-checks-on-himself guy forever.

I wanna see Buddy at the end of this approach Fig like a little lost puppy asking her about Ankarna, but not in the soft explorative way that Bucky is curious about Kristen's relationship with Cassandra, in a way that's like 'I've been in a right tumble dryer lately and was wondering what exactly The Correct Worldview to attach my entire soul and sense of self to is.'

Want him to be a complete mess most of senior year as he keeps looking for new things to attach himself to. Every few weeks he changes his style to reflect the new thing he's trying on as a replacement for developing an independent sense of self.

Want him to be three quarters of the way through senior year before he even thinks to talk to Jawbone. That or they've been having mandatory councilor sessions all fall, and it's only as the Moonar Yulenear is coming up that Bucky starts Acting Like A Person for little flashes, where his entire attitude and personality is not some ironclad manifestation of what he believes The Correct Person To Be is, and instead he just. Genuinely loudly laughs at a joke that a few months ago he would've simply given a polite sensible chuckle to and said 'Oh, that's a good one'. He lets his face fall into a bored exhaustion in a class and the teacher asks him if something's wrong and he snaps back to, but it still happened. The omnipresent 'Good God Fearing Boy' persona slipped and he was a bored teen for a second. He tries a heavily caffeinated drink in the same way one might try a beer for the first time and suddenly he's being a little silly twirling his staff around and stumbling over his sentences a little more as his brain whirrs.

He cries and he breaks something and there's this icky complicated cocktail of emotions because getting angry is bad and being upset is bad; he was taught that all his life and then it was proven correct when he was resurrected by a false manifestation of a dead goddess worshipped in her true form by the archdevil of rebellion who spent the entire school year playing mindgames with the bard in Buddy's party who were using him.

But Jawbone keeps saying it's important to feel your feelings, which is a very silly thing of Jawbone to keep emphasizing, because Buddy always feels his feelings, it's not like he just unilaterally fends every emotion off as if it'll be his inevitable downfall. There's The Good Feelings and The Bad Feelings, and The Good Feelings come from The Good Things and The Bad Feelings are temptations into evil he must not indulge. He chooses to identify with the Correct Feelings To Be Feeling, obviously. Because you're supposed to do that. And anger and upset are never correct. It was a lesson he had to learn the hard, painful way because he was a stupid, flimsy kid who needed to see the real truth up close and personal. That's why all that stuff happened to him. Why the Rat Griders were so dismissive of him. Why Kristen was trying to build bridges with him.

So why did he just shatter the mug his grandfather gifted him after his baptism when he remembered how Oisin and Ivy seemingly constantly side-eyed him every time he spoke. At least it felt that way. Buddy's very used to constantly feeling observed, he probably just imagined that.

They're not exactly alive to ask anymore.

What do you MEAN my silly post about how I think Buddy's insistence that Bakarath is For Sure The Name You Guys is cute and funny turned into ANOTHER Buddy Dawn fanfic???

[aingeal98]

Hi, loved your recent Stephanie Brown post regarding the violence, the rage and general ruthless scrappiness that to me is an essential part of her character.

It also however has always begged a question in my mind I'd be curious to see your take on.

Namely, how do you think Stephanie's willingness to potentially kill or let someone die fits into a Stephcass relationship?

Cos, its easy to see how it works with basically any other character, but their relationship is so distinctly unique and Cass's stance on the subject quite iron-clad.

Not in the sense she won't help a murderer try to change, but in terms of not tolerating anyone dying under any circumstances.

That its hard to see how they'd grapple wither with the fact Stephanie would be willing, or more notably if it actually happened. Obviously context counts for a lot, but yeah, just generally curious.

Ooh good question. I think that overall Cass will never stop believing in Steph despite her willingness to kill. She saw that anger during Steph's Robin run when she threatened to kill Penguin but she also saw Steph step in to comfort a crying child when Cass could not on the exact same mission. Steph was also honest with her about where that anger comes from and why it still exists. So I feel like even if Steph did fall to morally greyer moments than Cass could accept, Cass would be firm in her belief that it doesn't define Steph the way Cass's kill defines her. Steph can change, Steph can be better etc. Even if Steph did kill a villain (in self defence) I could actually see adult Cass defending her? Not the act itself obviously but what it means for Steph as a person. Because obviously Steph would have a bunch of conflicted feelings and the bat's judgement wouldn't help with that, and Cass would be able to pick up on that and given where they are in current canon I can see her trying to shut everyone else out so she can get through to Steph and guide her onto a path where this doesn't happen again. Cass could never look at her fully the same but that doesn't mean Cass would love her any less. They would both be very very sad the whole time though and feel like they're failing each other even if they never verbally acknowledge it.

That said I can definitely see tension between them if they fail to save some scumbag's life and Cass is devastated but Steph is just... Flippant about it. Like oh no the pedo rapist got shot. Sucks but at least it wasn't anyone else. And Cass would be furious, likely saying something insensitive and accusatory as a response, which would raise Steph's hackles in return and get her from "Yeah we tried but there was nothing we could do." to "Actually I'm glad he's dead fuck him and fuck you for being an asshole about it."

If we're talking batgirl Steph and black bat Cass I think they're both at the stage where they're not willing to let this come between them, even if they both get their feelings hurt they'll apologise and talk it out within a week. Neither will fully accept the other as completely right but I think they'd be surprised to find that it doesn't diminish their respect for each other as much as they feared it would.

Unless, of course, during the argument, Cass gets so disgusted by Steph's lack of guilt over the death that she says those three little words:

"Batman was right."

Because in THAT case... Yeah this argument isn't getting resolved with in a week. It'll take a lot of stewing in their hurt feelings, dredging up past traumas and arguments, and probably outside intervention from at least one or two other batfam members. I have faith they'll work it out in the end! They'll just need a bit of help with the communication and apologies because if left alone they'd 100% make it worse.

Ultimately I think what it comes down to is that after Steph's first resurrection, their bond is so tight that neither of them are willing to give up on it no matter how it hurts, which is rare for both of them honestly! Anger and pride can cause them to get nasty but it's not going to break them permenantly because they tried that and it was horrible and they both kind of have ptsd about it at this point.

Thanks for the ask!

[misojunnie]

i find the vampire and werewolf rivalry dynamic really funny for whatever reason, so may i request some &team hcs with a friend/partner who’s a vampire while they’re… yknow, werewolves?

oh the shenanigans they would get up to

☆ &team as your werewolf bf! w/ a vampire partner ;)

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

byun eui joo - ej

wasn't really objected to you being a vampire tbh. if anything, he was kinda interested

the quiet, kind-hearted typa guy to be like "it doesn't matter if we're different species, love is love, right?"

crazy clingy, and loves your fangs. he has fangs himself, but they're nowhere near as sharp and long as yours are. he loves admiring them when you smile and when he kisses you

loves that you're a vampire. it took zero time to get used to it

by now he knows all your needs by heart <3

murata fuma - fuma

shocked to discover you were a vampire, but not necessarily unhappy about it

when other werewolves are around you, his protective instincts kick in immediately and he's ready to die to protect you

you tried to hide your relationship for a while, but he gave up quick

he couldn't help it, he always wanted to show you off <3

rolls his eyes when you hiss at his werewolf friends (who aren't exactly fond of you)

koga yudai- k

considering how passionately khan hates vampires, I think k would probably share that trait tbh

was heartbroken when he realized you were one of his mortal enemies. it took him months to recover

but once he got adjusted to it, he could give a fuck what other people think

he proudly shows you off, even around the other werewolves. he doesn't care what they say, and if they threaten you? he won't hesitate to rough them up

drags a dead deer home every week or so, so you can feed <3

wang yixiang- nicholas

was shocked when he found out the cutie in his chem class was actually a vampire, AKA his worst enemy

he was disgusted. he's a prideful guy, so it took him a long time to accept that he was in love with a literal vampire (he couldn't stay away and ended up apologizing with a cute date <3)

secretly loves it when you bite him (teehee)

when you fight, expect fangs out and full blown screaming matches fueled by millennia of ancestral beef. lmao

"you think i'm high maintenance? try dating someone who literally lives off sucking life force!"

nakakita yuma - yuma

scandalized by the fact that you're a vampire. you told him after you started dating, and he had to break up with you for 2 weeks as a grieving period

the adjustment period was long, but now he knows just about everything there is to know about vampires

always ready to debate vampire/werewolf history with you

"uh, no. the battle of 1824 was obviously the vampires' fault. you broke the peace treaty, not us."

always puts on dracula because he thinks it's your favorite movie. it totally isn't, but he means well, so you don't tell him otherwise

asakura jo - jo

figured out you were a vampire like three weeks before you broke the news. he decided to stay with you anyway bc he doesn't really care what the other werewolves think

brings you coffee when you crave blood bc he thinks it'll help

you're the extroverted drama queen and he's the stoic, introvert bf

is very in tune to your needs, and won't hesitate to kill a literal human being to satisfy you (you tell him not to, though)

"I know you're a vampire, but you need to get your blood lust in control. I'm your boyfriend, not a piece of meat."

shigeta harua - harua

when you told him you were a vampire, he listened to his pack and dumped you, but followed his heart since and won you back <3

like ej, very in tune to your needs and wants

comes back from "hanging with the boys" carrying a huge dead deer/cow/etc, covered in blood with a huge smile on his face

"I brought dinner! do you like it?" "it's definitely bloody..."

all in all, he just wants to make sure you're feeling comfortable and happy <3

ta-ki

didn't really care that you were a vampire. k initially gave him flack, but he ignored it until his friends gave up

sunshine x sunshine protecter irl. he's just happy to be there, and you're ready to kill for him, need be

but watch out; insulting you is a one way ticket to seeing his dark side (even if you're his friend/one of his kind)

loves double dates, and even introduced some of his werewolf friends to your vampire friends. you two singlehandedly repair the relationship of the species in your city <3

hirota riki - maki

did not gaf that you're a vampire. loves you too damn much to care what species you are

loves bear hugs, but constantly underestimates his inhuman strength. will try to hug you and accidentally tackle you

gets crazy sassy with you when you argue, eg; "don't bare your fangs at me while i'm speaking."

loves running away with you at night to hunt, wander the streets, and generally fuck around. midnight walks are his favorite, and luckily he never has to worry about being cautious during the night, considering you're both the strongest beings on the planet

locks himself in his room during full moons bc he gets embarrassed about transforming in front of you lol

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

a/n: omg this was so cute... I usually struggle with the werewolf stuff bc it annoys me so bad but this was actually rlly fun... maybe i'm warming up to the werewolf concept 🤔😇

[fontainesiblingsbiggestfan]

Lyney & Lynette when GN S/O is on their period

tw; just blood, aches, nausea.. anything you'd expect out of a period pretty much

further notes: first post on this blog! very hopeful to get at least a couple requests this week. hopefully i didn't mischaracterize too bad, even if it's pretty much bound to happen with the majority of fan content

A less mentioned and yet convenient pro to pyro visions is how it can make the owner of the vision warmer, a perfect thing to know when your boyfriend has one. Especially when you're on your period. He'd be sure to allow you to enjoy it too, resting one of his hands on wherever your aching while he rests next to you.

Of course- don't think that Lyney'd stop with just helping your aches. Oh no. He'd be sure to spoil you more than usual, going out of his way to ensure you have all the candies and chocolates you'd ever want plus more. He'll be sure to start making you extra during breakfast too, you'll need the extra iron to help with all the blood loss after all.

Also not ashamed to buy you period products! ^^ He'd try and find whatever you asked for, and 99% he'll actually get the right thing + some sort of gift (usually consisting of stuffed animals or chocolates).

If you're nauseous he'd probably be pretty good help with that too, Lyney tends to take care of his siblings and even himself when sick so he's rather experienced in this field. Master at holding people's hair while rubbing the back.

Probably thinks to try and distract you with some magic tricks, whether this works or not is entirely up to you but honestly it's the thought that counts.

All together pretty good boyfriend for someone on their period, he tries his very hardest and luckily he is pretty knowledgable in this subject due to him having his sister and all. Probably made a joke about doing a magic trick and make your blood disappear at some point though, so he ends up ranking at a 9/10 due to his tomfoolery.

Lynette honestly is a pretty solid period partner, she wouldn't coddle you as much as Lyney but that doesn't mean she'll just sit and be useless either.

She definitely knows some helpful tricks (as in like life-hacks not magic tricks) to help deal with it due to her being on stage quite frequently and all. This primarily consists of ways to help make things easier for going on with day to day life without being in complete misery constantly.

Would take you to get some nice desserts more often too, as in the beginning of every morning before she goes off to perform and whatever else she does throughout the day. Nice warm drink included too, even if it isn't tea.

Will also obviously get you whatever period products you need, though unlike her brother it'll just be what you need, kind of. If she has a little spare change then that might change the result, though this'll likely just be a bit of candy or something of the like.

Primarily just trying to help you more than anything, also pretty good if your sick. Wouldn't comfort you as much as Lyney but makes up for it by making sure medicine is consistenly in the counter and that you always have a good place to throw up

In general Lynette is more convenience over comfort when it's up to periods, not uncaring just not acting like your gonna die. Helpful and considerate without being too over-bearing out anything. Another 9/10 experience, point only deducted due to her probably trying to wash your clothes from any blood with the washing machine then breaking the washing machine with your clothes still in it. Still reccomend either way.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Hii!! so i just want to say first that i love love the way you write dmc fanfics. The way you just understand them, makes all their action seem like something they'd do. And well, if it doesn't bother you, may I ask a few advices on how to write Vergil, young and current? I'm trying to write a story and I think your input would be very helpful since you're probably the most accurate Vergil writer there is. Thank you andI just want to say that your fics helped me out a lot mentally. Thank you for bringing the characters to life 🫶

You just left me floored, loved to death, giggling like a 7 year old in public, and I thank you wholeheartedly for that 🖤🖤

First of all, thank you SO much for your words - and wow, I am absurdly flattered that you think so highly of me as a writer, really! I mean, I'm just writing my crazy shenanigans here, I don't expect much hahahaha words like yours make my day and, honestly, you made my whole week!

I am SO happy what I write helped you mentally. I do write to help myself in that regard too, and seeing I was able to have an impact on someone else, it makes everything worth it. That's what Dante would have wanted :')

Asking me for advice doesn't bother me AT ALL! Feel free to ask anytime you want it - by all means I see myself as someone so good as to give advice, but I've gained some experience and it's always good to share! Maybe I'll say something that makes sense to you!

So, without further ado, a few advices on writing Vergil - young and current - down the cut 'cause I haven't written it yet, but knowing myself, I know it's gonna be big :)

(spoiler: it's huge *puts on fool hat and jingles away*)

I sprinkled some things here and there about Dante and Vergil on this blog, but I think it'll be nice putting it all together in one place!

I recently got an ask about which MBTI personality I think it's Dante and Vergil, and there's a LOT on BOTH of their characters in there. You can find it here.

(I won't repeat the things I wrote there, 'cause oh boy this one's got bigger than I expected)

But oh, Verge, this little emotionally constipated goth man *sighs* he's Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. I'm not even joking.

But all of that aside, I do keep a few things in mind when writing him. I've said before I have many similar personality traits with him and I think it makes it easier for me to write this little bitch (affectionate).

Vergil is pretty much shaped by his trauma. You could argue Dante is as well, but differently from his twin brother, Vergil never really found acceptance. Yes, the twins lived through the same thing but the fact that Eva managed to save Dante and not Vergil is crucial to both characters.

Dante has survivor's guilt and depression from all that happened. He can't keep a deep connection to save his life, 'cause he keeps everyone at bay - he thinks his demonic blood is a curse and he is the reason everyone perishes. So it's best if people keep away from him.

But even with that, Dante loves being around people. It's what makes him so fond of his human part and, in my opinion, it's what made Dante healthier than Vergil. He seeks connection and humanity, he wants to use his strength to protect the weak - like Eva once used hers and sacrificed herself to protect and save him. That is crucial to Dante's character.

Vergil, in the other hand, believed for a LONG time he was left for dead. That his mother chose to save his brother because she loved Dante more and Vergil was left to die. He was left all alone in the cold, in a cemetery filled with demons who slaughtered him in quite a gruesome manner. If he hadn't find the rage, strength and power inside of himself that day, he wouldn't have survived.

Vergil learned he is on his own, his own family didn't love him (even if he was wrong, that's the impression he had for a LONG time) and the only one he could count on was himself. That made him withdraw completely: be wary of people and their intentions, shut himself to the world, allow only strength and power to come through his personality and keep his vulnerabilities and feelings shut down in the darkest and most protected place of himself because if he didn't, that could be his death.

Vergil didn't learn to protect the weak, because he wasn't protected when he was weak. He learned to survive, because when he needed the most, no one was there and his own will was the only thing that could save him. If he had given up, he would've died - no one would come, no knight in shiny armor, no powerful protecting demon, no sacrificing loving human mother.

✨That's why he's an asshole✨

Hahahaha jokes aside, that's why he's so laser focused on power, I think. When he was younger (around DMC 3), he finds Dante again and there's a hatred for his brother because he believed he was left to die and wasn't loved as much as Dante (as always, our red devil being a clueless himbo who just got lucky to be around Eva, poor guy). He wants to prove he is better than Dante, that he was worth something, that he too was worth saving - even more than his brother.

To some extent, up until that moment in DMC 3, Vergil is better than Dante (regarding power). He's got a lot of knowledge and control over his demonic heritage, things Dante didn't even know he could do. But Vergil is so blinded by his hurt and in so much pain he can only deem himself worthy if he beats Dante down, if he wins, if he gets all the power in the world.

I don't think he ever wanted to kill Dante - he just wanted to win. Like a kid, going "see, mom, dad, I win, I'm worth as much as Dante!!" - quite tragic, really.

With his power thing, it's not a desire for power for it's own sake, but as an armor. Given everything that happened to him, that Vergil has this thing of "only I can protect myself and I can count only on myself to save my life", it's very understandable that his logic takes him to the path of "if I am the most powerful being in this world, I will never bleed and I will never hurt again".

So, even if he says on the outside he is power hungry because he wants to honor his demonic heritage and humans are weak, on the inside it's actually that he's trying to carve his heart out from himself so he won't feel nothing and stop hurting - as well as gain all the power he can so NO ONE can make him feel scared, vulnerable, weak and powerless like he did that night when no one appeared to help him.

Vergil hides his pain under a mask of cruelty and hubris - since being honest means being vulnerable to him and that is something he's got a deep aversion to.

Current Verge has dragged himself out of Hell in a crumbling body. If Dante hadn't "killed" him as Nelo Angelo, he probably would've never been free of his shackles with Mundus, but once again he was left for dead (even if not intentionally, I know Dante would have gone through all the layers of Hell to bring his brother back, but VERGIL doesn't know that). Once again, Vergil had to muster all his will, his power, his demonic heritage to drag himself out of that godforsaken place.

He didn't know Nero was his son, he just took Yamato back 'cause he didn't really had time to explain everything that was going on. Vergil was on the brink of death, it's not like he could think logically about everything he was doing and weight pros and cons. He needed to survive. That's what he does.

It's only when he separated his human and demon parts that he came to realize a bunch of things - because Vergil never really had time to do anything else other than surviving; and thinking too much, going over your feelings and past trauma, doesn't do anything good when you're stuck in survival mode (been there, done that).

After he gets both of his parts together and goes back to being Vergil, he knows a lot more than he did before, because V allowed his heart to feel and to process all that pain he didn't allow himself to process before - because if he did, he would probably break, like V himself was falling to pieces.

He knows his mother loved him. He knows it wasn't Dante's fault. He knows it was all a tragedy and no one is to blame - he knows he wasn't left there to die: Eva died trying to get to him. It honestly changes everything he's been thinking for the past 40 (if I'm not wrong...?) years.

That's why he wonders, if he was in Dante's place all those years ago, would that change something? And honestly, it probably would. Because everything Vergil did was from a wound he couldn't bring himself to heal from that fateful night.

Therefore, current Vergil is a lot more accepting to his feelings - but internally only, he won't let it show. He also understands his thing of wanting to surpass Dante wasn't his brother's fault and it's something he has to work on.

Not saying he won't be a little bitch sparring with Dante all the time and keeping score over stupid stuff, because that's EXACTLY how these two function - but now Vergil is fueled by healthy sibling rivalry and fun instead of inferiority complex and pain/hatred.

Vergil's path is a lot similar to Anakin from Star Wars: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the Dark Side of the Force. If the Jedi Council had understood Anakin's upbringing as a slave, his deep love for his mother - and for all the beings on the Universe, I argue, because he did want to become a Jedi to free all slaves - his overflowing empathy, his deep feelings, his love for Padmé, etc., Anakin wouldn't find himself vulnerable to the grooming of an older man who saw all this and took the opportunity to twist it all to make him feel pain, fear, anger and hate.

If Qui-Gon Jin had trained Anakin he would've never turned to the Dark Side, I will DIE on this hill and fight EVERYONE, even if I love Obi-Wan

Star Wars ramblings aside, that's Vergil in a nutshell. And I think with him older, currently, he can finally see all of that, because he had a chance to be just demonic, as Urizen, and just human, as V - noticing how everything that happened to him shaped him to feel pain, fear, anger and hate, doing desperate things to protect himself and feel safe.

I argue Vergil hasn't felt safe for a single day in his whole lifetime, and that matters. Because in the end, that's how I write him: a wounded stray dog who knows only pain and hatred from the outside world.

If you try to approach him, he'll first bare his teeth, bark and try to bite you - not because he's mean, but because he's stuck in survival mode and that's his first response to ANYTHING. Just like a wounded stray, you have to approach carefully, offer kindness and show him you're not there to hurt him.

And just like a stray dog, he'll eventually melt and accept that kindness - he just has NO IDEA how that feels like.

✨What about Nero's mother, I hear you ask?✨

Hahahaha so that one I have some doubts myself. I often imagine two scenarios and I still haven't chose one of them to satisfy my heart HAHAHAHA

That might be me projecting, of course, but because of ALL THAT, I don't see Vergil as being open to relationships and one night stands - he takes things too seriously, and that's part of his character.

He either decided to try it out empirically with a one night stand with someone who was kind to him and he wanted to understand that kind of experience to understand himself better and out of curiosity (look, I know this sounds crazy, but that's exactly what I did on my first kiss with a super random guy at a party and I was like "oh, well, that's not for me, I'm gonna stick to kissing people I love, this sucks" and it took a weight off my shoulders)

oooooor he was treated with kindness for the first time in his life and that broke him for a while, he melted under a soft touch and gentle words and couldn't resist trying out new experiences he only had by proxy from his books - and when he woke up next morning, he was reminded how broken he is, how powerless, how not worthy of love not even from his own mother, and left because that would lead to nowhere. Because of him. Because he wasn't worth it - she probably fell for his looks, his heritage, his outside, but when she knew his inside she would run in horror.

Again, Vergil has a lot of issues, the poor man.

When I'm writing Nemesis, we have young Vergil - laser focused on power, proud as fuck, stepping over anything and everything to get what he wants, because life favors the ones who survive. The weak ones should die, that's the law of the jungle and he won't waste his time saving those who can't do it for themselves like he did for himself. When he sees the reader struggling to keep fighting him to protect others, he sees not only Eva, but himself in a will of a survivor who will go through excruciating pain to save themselves. He values that and admires that - admiring the reader as an enemy and having utmost respect.

When he's older, he's trying. And he has a LOT to learn - but his partner has to understand he's the stray dog who knows nothing but harshness. Vergil is quiet, methodical and disciplined, knowing how to live only with himself as company. But now he has a family: he has his brother back, he has a son, he has the whole crew to live alongside him. That's new, harrowing and comforting at the same time.

So, when in doubt, think about how a wounded animal would react - and how you would have to act to be able to approach and help.

Vergil, differently from Dante, is forever stuck in survival mode and has forsaken his humanity so he could keep going. As a younger man, he's ruthless and won't spare efforts to get what he wants because he is desperately trying to not feel vulnerable and worthless as he usually feels. As an older man, he's trying - in his own stupid Mr. Darcy way - to recover, to understand himself better and finally heal that horrible wound in his heart.

But of course. He is still proud, observing, regal and prone to overkill here and there and showing off his skills. These are all inherent to his personality.

(Also. Vergil enjoys some dumb fun sometimes - he only lets it show a tiny little bit when competing with Dante over ANYTHING. If Dante says he can eat a cheeseburger in three bites, Vergil will go above and beyond to eat it in two. Everyone thinks he's just being stupidly competitive with Dante and wants to win against his brother no matter what, but that's just his way of being fun)

Phew! That's quite a lot on the blue devil! Hahaha it isn't everything I keep in mind - of course there are the other things like him being reserved, more on the quiet side, intellectual, methodical, a lover of beauty (like literature, philosophy, poems, etc.), stupidly independent... But I think those traits are more "worldwide" known.

If you take all his trauma and how it affected him into consideration, I think, his personality follows easily. You understand a lot better how he would react in certain situations - in the end, that's what being a writer is all about: creating characters and watching how all of them react to situations given their backgrounds and baggage!

I'm so sorry it's such a HUGE answer, but I do hope it helps. There's a lot to unpack and I didn't want to just "oi, he's a traumatized asshole, that's it" - because you miss the nuances if you just work with that perspective.

Thanks a lot for asking, though, I had fun writing this little essay on Vergil, the man, the myth, the legend HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hope you have a nice weekend and have fun writing!! If you need any advice, even on writing in general, you can always ask me again! As you can see, I'm happy to help and I do love sharing what I know xD

[sewer-sermon]

dnt normally post oc stuff but i suddenly remembered an old one of mine that was inspired by @bogleech's harmburger stuff (particularly the variation in awful hospital)

idk if they had a name before but its Redbert now!! (Red "40" Bert for long)

they're a cheap shitty fast food megacorp's twisted experiment to make a "meat recycling program", so that when meat went rancid you could recycle it into edible stuff again, so they could save money on outsourcing their meat products! it worked but it also became alive and really really scared

they sound like the most stereotypical awkward "visibly bullied in highschool" nerd you can picture, however that manifests in your mind (i personally think of pete spankoffski from nerdy prudes must die but it's slightly different for everyone). they're pretty timid so it was easy enough for the fast food chain to convince them to work at one of their establishments, and they're technically company property so they didn't have much of a choice anyways, their sentience was entirely unintentional but ultimately means they can learn how to work a cash register and flip patties for peanuts and scraps so naturally they were put right to it!

they are technically food grade at all times- the experiment that birthed them was a success! said experiment being that they basically just threw a metric fuckton of meat in various states of freshness (from "severed, still-bleeding appendage" to "straight roadkill") into a giant vat together and blended it, and the combined hubris of this action alone plus everything else the company had done to get to how bloated it was present-day reviled the universe so badly that the thing was Immediately stricken with life if only to have an outlet for the sheer appall it felt at that microinstant.

it created this single homogenous kind of meat that immediately absorbs anything not resembling it (besides other meats), including bacteria, flies, debris and such, and just. Turns it into more meat. so it can't technically spoil bc any time something tries to break it down it just breaks it down quicker into more meat. that also means they don't really ever get less fresh than "literally still kicking & screaming"- they might get a little nasty being made to stand out in the summer heat but it'll digest back into more, fresher meat the second they get into some air conditioning! so it's totally safe for them to be serving people food & in fact they make the place cleaner just by kind of idly standing around (however they can't leave their bucket. that much contact with the ground might have consequences for the building's infrastructure eventually)

my horrible meat chicken they just wanna scroll thru youtube shorts in the break room

one of my friends asked me if they could lose mass and i said that you could in theory scoop some out of them but if you used your bare hands, it would start taking mass from you rapidly enough to actively feel yourself losing skin cells and the sensation will almost definitely jar you into dropping it on the ground where it'll either fall back into Redbert or crawl into them. sometimes they run under the fridge and we're not really sure what happens to those ones, but sometimes employees find them a couple weeks later hiding behind the grease trap. they hiss

but funny aside they will turn anything into meat eventually but they struggle to digest metal, so they probably get scooped semi regularly with some metal implements that are changed out when they wear down too far and the excess is made into burgers or something. it's to keep them from getting too big that they inconvenience the other workers too much, but i will note that they were in fact smaller upon creation and the scoopings have become more frequent as of late

they were made with my love of drawing long serpentine things in mind and also raw meat :> and chickens! they don't really have to look like a chicken they just reuse those limbs the most consistently bc it's the least offputting way they've managed to make themselves look (as part of their customer training they were made to carefully study how people reacted to their appearance upon using various arrangements of limbs, organs and bone fragments as facial features)

don't know if ill post abt them super often, i don't do a lot of oc stuff often, but maybe ill doodle them whenever i get bored and i have some spare time so ill make them a tag :V

have the old version of them + art i did of them as an animal crossing villager(??) under a cut bc it's Old!

[a-spes]

S I X F E E T A W A Y - One shot.

Words count - 2,6k.

Tags & Warnings - Natasha Romanoff x reader, light angst.

Summary - You were Natasha's girlfriend. It has been a year since she died and you still can't accept it, visiting her grave whenever you can.

Song - It'll be okay, Shawn Mendes.

— — — — —

It has been a year. Twelve months, fifty-two weeks, three hundred sixty-five days. In other words, it has been an eternity. The thought of all the time that has passed makes you sick. Even after a year the pain is still the same, the people that told you it will eventually fade were a bunch of liars. You hate them because you are going through every day thinking the next one will be different but it is not, the urge to cry, scream, throw up and destroy everything around you never disappeared. At best, it fades during the good days.

However, this feeling always comes back. You don’t even know how you survived this year without her by your side. She has been your whole world since the first time you met. At the time, you agreed to join the Avengers only so you don’t have to leave her - you regret that decision now, convinced that she died because of them. 

You were supposed to be a family but the team fell apart on the first difficulties and doesn’t even exist anymore. After they saved the world, bringing back the missing population, the members that weren’t dead decided to leave. 

They said they needed some personal time, which you understand, but never told you for how long. It has already been a year and none of them checked up on you or replied to your attempt to get in touch, you can’t help but feel abandoned.

Since you have been back, being at the compound never felt the same anymore. This place no longer felt like home, it was just an empty building, full of ghosts and memories. After a few weeks you decided to move out, unable to stay here for one more day. 

New city, new start, new life. 

At least, you were hoping it would be that easy but it wasn’t. At first, you didn’t know where to go but you eventually decided to move to a small town in Ohio. She was your only family, you couldn’t imagine being far from her. Even if the only thing left is a stone with her name engraved on it, not even a body, you still wanted to be as close as you could.

The way everything happened made your grief journey harder. The worst is that you didn’t even get to say goodbye. Every time you think about it you can feel how your stomach twists. The last time you saw her, you were oblivious she would be dead the next one. 

As half of the population, you disappeared for five years because of Thanos. Five years for the one who stayed but it felt like a few seconds to you, barely the time to blink but yet you missed so much. 

You are blaming yourself for that. Even now, you are convinced that things would have gone a different way if you were here, that you could have done something. It probably wouldn’t have changed a thing, Natasha being stubborn, but being angry and denial is your way to deal with the pain of a loss.

Whenever you can, you are paying a visit to her gravestone. Sometimes, you would stay for a few days, refusing to leave : how could you when you know that she died alone ? Most of her life she thought she was alone, she didn’t deserve to die like that. So, now that she is gone, you are doing everything you can to make up for that, to let her know that you will always be here. 

You firmly believe that, wherever she is right now, she is looking at you and knows what you are doing, you need to believe that she can hear and see you because it means you are not alone. Even death can’t separate two persons.

That is why you have prepared this visit for days, wanting everything to be absolutely perfect for your lover. You prepared a whole picnic, everything being homemade, and decided to wear one the last outfit you bought together, a classy dress. You even braided your hair for the occasion. That is why your hairstyle is looking like a mess, it has never been your thing, Natasha usually being the one to do it. 

Some people would find it weird to celebrate her death date but it is really important to you. Painfull, for sure, but still important. That day, a year ago, she sacrified her life for the world and she deserves some gratitude. You feel like too many people don’t even know she is the one that saved them, the rest refusing to acknowledge what she did just because of her past. Even your former teammates don’t bother to care. 

So you decided to pay her a visit so you can celebrate her actions like the world should have. However, it doesn’t make you less angry or hateful against the whole world.

You check your bag one more time to make sure you didn’t forget anything. You are feeling a bit stressed because you really want everything to be perfect. After that last glance, you secure it at the back of your bike, ready to go.

Her gravestone is only thirty minutes from where you live. As you are lost in your thoughts, the journey felt like a few seconds. 

You realize you are almost at your destination when you enter the forest. Natasha’s grave is not in a cemetery but in a lovely clearing. As there was no body to bury, you were able to place it wherever you wanted. You spent days and nights thinking about the perfect place to eventually choose this one. It is in a lovely clearing in Ohio, a quiet and hidden place. Only a few people know her grave is here, she didn’t have a lot of family. 

You leave your bike against a tree on the roadside.

After a few minutes walk, you arrive at the clearing. You know she would have loved that place. A smile on your face, you take your time to settle everything around the grave. You brought a blanket, to sit in, a lot of food and even a speaker so you can play music. It feels the silence, making things less awkward for you. 

Obviously, you didn’t forget to bring a gift and some flowers. This time, you choose roses because they have always remembered you of her : they sting but yet are so delicate and gracious. She used to mock you for that, never answering your “ if you were a flower, which one would you be ? ” kind of questions. So you had to figure out the answers by your own. 

However, you know that, deep down, she was enjoying it. She would stay for hours, listening to your explanations about why she would be that drink rather than another one, with a faint smile on her face. She was just too stubborn to admit it. 

The thought of the past makes a sad smile appear on your face as you are replacing the old flowers with the roses you brought.  

“ I- ” once you have settled in, sitting on the blanket with the food out of the bags, you start talking. Except that, once again, you don’t know where to start. “ I made peanut butter sandwiches, … more than the last time. ”

Those are her favourites. She has always refused to share hers but, sometimes, she would make some for you so you had a snack when you came back from a mission. 

Now, you have to do them by yourself and it doesn’t taste the same, it doesn’t taste love. Yet, you still ended up eating the dozen you made last time you visited. In your defense, you were crying and it is the only thing that could bring you some comfort. 

However, you are still feeling bad for not leaving at least one for her so you decided to make some more this time. A lot more if you are being honest. 

“ Anyway, what can I say … ” you are thinking out loud. It is your thing, coming here and telling her everything that is going on in your life. 

Sometimes, you even come here just to share with her something that happened during your day. A bad or a good story, it doesn’t matter, you would come here immediately without considering what time it is when the urge to talk to her hits you. 

Once, you pedaled here in the middle of the night. It was creepy, if you are being honest, so you didn’t do it ever again. Plus, you are sure Natasha wouldn’t appreciate it.

“ I have found a new job. I am a cashier now and it is going well for the moment, I didn’t throw anything at a client yet ” you say, feeling proud about that fact.

A few months ago, you were fired from your job as a waitress for that reason. You definitely don’t have the patience or the tact required by that kind of work. 

“ Even if the clients are really annoying. It is frustrating, you know ? I am being yelled at all day, talked like shit and insulted but I don’t even have the right to be rude ” you stop talking for a few seconds, taking a deep breath - you won’t let the anger you feel towards these people ruin this moment. “ I liked it better when we were kicking bad guys’ asses. ”

You are thinking about this part of your life with nostalgia. You never had a normal job. When you were seventeen, you dropped out of high school so you could join the army. Somehow, mainly because of your curiosity, you ended up in some dirty stories - that is how the S.H.I.E.L.D noticed you, offering you to become one of their agents.

It is only a few years ago that you made the decision to leave the agency to be a part of the Avengers. It was a difficult choice to make but you did it because you wanted to follow Natasha, even a few years ago, you already couldn’t imagine living far from her. 

The two of you met when she joined the agency. As you, when you became an agent, she was lonely. Everyone was avoiding her because of the rumors about her past. You immediately thought it was unfair - if Fury thinks she has a place here, then you can trust her for sure. Plus you knew how it feels to be in that situation. 

So you decided to step up, being the first and only one that has tried to talk to her the first years. You never left her side since, always defending her when the others were talking dirt behind her back - which got you into a lot of trouble.

All that stuff, being a cashier or a waitress, is not something you are used to, you don’t think you are cut out for this kind of work. If you are being honest with yourself, you hate those jobs, you are just not ready to go back working for Fury. 

When you came back, he let you know that there will always be a place for you as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, you thanked him but said no. For the moment, you just want to give a try to those normal jobs, even if fitting in is harder than you thought, being undercover having nothing in common with living it for real.

“ I also decided to eventually repair the broken things in my apartment. So far, I’ve fixed the front door, the fridge and the light in the living room. I think it is a good start, don’t you ? ” you wait a few seconds for an answer but, obviously, the only one you get is the silence. You eventually chuckle. “ I still hate that place tho’ ” and since you moved in, you can’t wait for the day you will be able to afford a better place. 

But for now you are stuck in that small, dilapidated and cold apartment, trying to convince yourself that it could be worse.

“ Anyway, I am here because I have a little something for you … ” you start, trying to not smile too hard. You take the present out of the bag, it is something in a dark blue box of the size of your hands. “ Ready ? ” you ask but it is more for you this time. You take a deep breath before you resume. “ Natasha Romanoff, for saving the world for so many years, for sacrificing your life for the sake of Humanity and, most important, for ... being the love of my life ... I have the honor to give you a medail ” your acting broke on the last sentence, the fake enthusiasm being replaced by sadness. 

Once you are done with your little speech, you carefully put the medail on the grave, with the flowers and the other presents. 

It is not a real medail, you asked someone to make it. It is supposed to be a replacement for the one the government refused to give her, even if she deserved it. Her name on a wall is the only thing she got from them.

“ But don’t think it means I forgive you. It was very stupid, but yet very … you … to sacrifice yourself for us. You always thought you had a redemption to earn ” you stop talking, trying to hold back your tears. “ And maybe it was true that people never trusted you but I did. I trusted you and you left me like that. I didn’t even get to say goodbye or … or … to give you a last hug. I- I blinked and, just like that, you were … gone, forever ” your voice is shaking, the last sentence being noticed more than a whisper. As tears are running down your cheeks, you still find the strength to add one more thing. “ I will never forgive you ” you say in a quiet voice.

You weren’t ready to lose her, you had plans for your future together. You were supposed to buy a lovely home and found a happy family. She shouldn’t have died before you could live your life together, before you had your happy ending. Only age should have taken her away from you, except that she decided otherwise. 

She has always been so stubborn and so hard on herself because of the things she did in the past. You truly believe that, if someone deserved a peaceful life, it is her but it is too late now that she is gone. The idea that you never had a chance to show her how sweet life can be is making you sick, you should have convinced her to leave earlier. 

When you came back from the dust, you were alone and lost. Not only did you need to accept that five years of your life have been stolen but you also had to learn how to live without the woman you love. It is the hardest thing you ever had to do in your life.  “ But … I love you so much, my idiot ” you eventually whisper. “ I just wish you were still here to hear that … ”

[justa-moth]

this is an incredibly niche thing that will appeal to maybe like one other jrwi fan, but:

what crew i think various riptide characters would be on if they were tech theatre kids

because why not :]

Jay: - oh Set Crew for SURE dude - shes the head carpenter - she knows how to use every tool in the shop - she's the one helping the newbies learn said tools - she'll yell at you to be safe but also do the worlds most unsafe things - she probably gets thrown on fly rail alot and is bitter about it because she'd rather move stuff on stage

Chip: - Set - Now he might not be great at it - but he would just really enjoy using the power tools - (and Jay would be on his ass about it constantly because he is Not safe like at ALL) - he probably gets put on like the super heavy set piece for a scene change and will do nothing but complain about it

Gillion: - ok this one was hard - i dont think hes set crew - but i do think hes usually been crowned the official Heavy Set Piece Mover - just because hes the theatres resident Strong Man - honestly i think he's scared of most of the power tools tbh jhkfsdjhk - he's probably just general stage crew, aka just the jack of all trades guy that any of the crews can use if they need an extra hand - (however he never helps any of the crews that require like a steady hand, like makeup, costume, or props, just bc of how big and clunky he is hjkfsdjkh)

Queen: - probably props or makeup/costume - theyre utterly terrified of ANY power tools and will avoid the shop like the PLAGUE - she probably really enjoy just sitting and working on small details for props while they blare music - (she is also the person in the theatre with the BEST music tastes, literally the best rehearsal playlist) - you look away from queen for maybe an hour and he will come back with the most intricate and beautifully designed prop - and it ends up having maybe 5 seconds of screen time and will have to get deconstructed once shows over

Gryffon: - okay so he's the guy that everyone thought would be the resident strong man when he joined the theatre. - and while technically he is, this poor man finds a way to break fucking anything - working on a set piece? it will crumble when he walks in the room. - working on lighting? they lamps will explode - he's the murphys law man. if anything could go wrong, it Will if he's in the room - its gotten to the point where every show the theatre does a ritual to the Theatre Gods in hopes that gryffon's powers of Pure Destruction may be nullified long enough for them to actually get shit done - he probably just gets put on fly rail because thats the only thing he hasn't managed to break

Alphonze: - Lighting / Sound for SURE - i would trust this man to operate the board - he's literally a god at programming cues, hes always on time - he cuts the mic out the SECOND the actor leaves the stage, he gets mic problems fixed INSTANTLY - if somethings wrong with a light, he IMMEDITAELY knows how to fix it - he is essentially the Antichrist to gryffon's destructive power - its the Theatre Superstition that if Alphonze and Gryffon are in the same room for too long it'll cause a singularity

Lizzie: - Set or maybe even Stage Manager - she's probably stage manager, but like only hangs out with techies - because being in the room with the cast and their songs for too long makes her just actually wanna die - shes super chill, but then tech week hits and she means BUISNESS - her ass gets things DONE - they could be in any stage of the creative process, and lizzie will find a way to speedrun it in the best and most efficient way possible

Caspian: - Makeup / Costume - like i imagine him helping people do their makeup in the dressing rooms before show - he would also be that one poor head costume manager helping the main character with the worlds most stressful quick change - or the poor mf who has to speed safety pin someones clothes together because it ripped mid performance

Marshal John: - literally THE set guy, aside from Jay - you need something heavy moved quickly? get john - power tools broken? get john - literally any problem that could easily be solved by a Big Strong Man? john. - he, like gillion, is the other Resident Strong Guy - however all prop people know to never get NEAR him, because this poor man has a way of literally just breathing on a prop and causing it to shatter - he's just big and clunky and can't handle delicate things

Drey and Finn: - the resident Uncles of the theatre - they don't work there - but theyre there to support their Kids TM - drey probably donates random pieces of furniture to the set department - and finn makes BANGER meals for the crew when it gets closer to performance - and they work like 12+ hours without eating - finn will MAKE SURE these poor kids get their nutriants

Earl: - in the same vein, he's also just one of the resident Uncles - once before a performance earl didn't make them juice - and literally Everything went wrong - so now everyone is convinced that Earl's juice is Magical and Blessed - and if the theatre doesn't get blessed by his juice, everyone fears for their life - Earl uses this to his advantage, and will actively threaten people to drink his juice by saying like "if you don't drink this i'll make sure that chandelier breaks right before the finale!!" - and the poor set crew kids just start SWEATING

[neaverse]

i am here asking for your favorite fics (i can tell you have good taste<3) 🫶

hi bella!!! thank you for the ask<33

okay so i read a lot. When i say a lot i mean a lot. The amount of fanfiction i’ve consumed in the last three years is probably unhealthy, but what can i say really? I don’t have much going on in my life🤷🏼‍♀️

so going into this, i contemplated how i should categorise my favourites. Current favs? Fav fics per ship? In the end, i decided to simply compile a list of fics that i still think about weeks and months (if not years) after i first read them. Fics that punched me in the gut, fics that made me question my whole existence. I could probably go on forever with this list but i’ve narrowed it down to 10 to make the job a little bit easier for both me and you hahaha!

In no particular order:

The World Is A Violent Sky by anonymous

Harry Potter wants to die; Draco Malfoy wants to live — a story of life and death, everything in between and beyond — in the form of scatters of love and hurt like freckles of stars forming into constellations.

Crimson Rivers by bizarrestars

Regulus Black was fifteen the first time his name was called at a reaping. He's twenty-five when it happens to him again. A lot has changed in that time, and one of them is that he's ready to do whatever it takes to make it home. Nothing or no one will stop him, not even James Potter. James Potter has no plans to stop Regulus Black from making it home. In fact, his plans revolve around the opposite. He has his reasons, but he's made his choice to get Regulus out of the arena, even knowing it'll be the last thing he ever does. Sirius Black was sixteen when he volunteered to take his little brother's place in the arena. At twenty-six, without the option to do it again, he has no choice but to be a mentor to his brother and best friend, knowing that only one of them can make it back out. Two names called, a mentor on the verge of falling apart, and more secrets and grief between all of them than they know how to handle. None of them are prepared for what comes next, or how far they'll go to make it through.

Harry Potter and the Welcome to the World of Grey by @sobsicles

When Harry fails to keep his anger at bay and Voldemort possesses his mind, the events that follow lead him down a long road to realizing the world isn't as black and white as it seems. Chaos, hilarity, and tragedy ensue with a Dark Lord being honest all the time, a rival becoming something else, and a world demanding to be saved. Featuring frightened Death Eaters, deep conversations with a monster, Pureblood traditions being ridiculous, and the fight to do the right thing with no true options. Harry's life just gets more and more bizarre with each passing moment.

Art Heist, Baby! by @otrtbs

When James Potter answers a mysterious ad in his local coffee shop, the last thing he expects is to be thrown into a world of white collar crime, but how can he resist when the mastermind behind the operation has dark hair and brooding eyes and promises wealth beyond James' wildest imagination? He would do anything for that boy named after a star, including stealing millions of dollars of fine art.

Orion in the Sky by space_wingding

Draco Malfoy owns a bookshop in the Lake District. He’s also cursed. Enter: Harry Potter.

Berlin Angel by @de-sire-blog

Berlin is absolutely miserable in February. Or it’s just Sirius. Alternatively: A story of how Remus Lupin stepped into Sirius’ life, flashed his trademark grin, and reminded him that life is a beautiful thing meant to be enjoyed. No risk, no fun!

Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by firethesound

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

Dear Reader by @calamitoustide

never take advice from someone who's falling apart Regulus has been quite obsessed with this anonymous advice blogger Helios and becomes concerned when they begin to post cryptically to an unspecified “Reader” At the same time, he’s starting Uni and has to deal with his brother being back in his life and a certain boy he won’t leave him alone.

Starvin’ darlin’ by @showinalittlelife

The man suddenly drops the knife, he sighs like all his dreams have been crushed. “Oh, dear, I can’t eat you! You’re rotting! What a shame, thought I’d found a looker too,” he whines miserably. The thoughts in Evan’s mind are racing too fast for him to make any sense of them. He has so many questions—too many questions that are probably better left off unanswered, but before he can think properly, he opens his mouth and speaks. “You think I’m a looker?” or: Barty is a cannibal, Evan is dying and they go on a little road trip!

Running on Air by eleventy7

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

[crguang]

always love the violinist au lore drops, omg.

so...was their instructor elio? if so thats crazy. always imagined him playing a stringed instrument (like pulling strings, puppeteer-esque bc he's like manipulating the future idk) so i always pictured him playing like violin, or harp. but also maybe bass bc he's sort of setting everything up and he like tells the future, and his v basic instruction (bc lets be honest they're barely following the script, its v lenient) there just wouldnt be stellaron hunters, and usually basses keep everyone on beat, idk.

btw i've been meaning to ask, how does kafka know blade in this au? like very funny to me how the ppl she's closest to in canon are basically her coworkers 😭

also the angst, like damn. them not rlly knowing each other until they meet again, even tho kafka is literally haunted by their presence, omg. and their instructor being a piece of shit and kafka not rlly realizing until later...i can't. and r being insecure and guilty abt it all, im going to implode. and kafka practicing until her fingers bleed ik her fingers are callused af.

also r not being able to recognize that kafka likes them bc of their insecurities, and kafka wearing sunglasses to hide that bc she thinks its so obvious, I'm gonna die. ik they're so annoying whenever kfr hangs out w acheswan. and kafka inviting r to the opera saying "i have two tickets" like blade isnt right there if she rlly needed someone to go with, and she's rich probably and one ticket doesn't mean much, she's so obvious.

but honestly it'd be kind of embarrassing to admit that u like kafka, shes such a loser. could never imagine admitting to liking kafka like that.../s

my finals also didn't start out very well, but im finishing them up this week and then im free for a month. do think i will fail my last one tho. its like my worst subject and im a pretty bad test taker in the first place, but wtv, it'll totally be fine. I'm sure you'll do good tho

-🌠

oh my god i didnt even think that far but i love this a lot. elio playing a string instrument always felt right but the bass especially would be so good… violin and bass sounds right to me it’s added to the lore 😋

kafka and blade…. once again plugging this insane animation about them because while it wouldnt apply exactly to a modern au, this is the vibe they’ve always given me. like no he didnt try to kill himself in front of her but this sort of chance meeting where each of them goes “oh, this one knows emptiness.” is how i want them to find each other every time. to me, blade might be the person that understands kafka the most and his care for her makes me want to die. they obviously care a lot about each other, they’re the best friends ever for me. implicit understanding of how the other works, long comfortable silences, them going through life together… i cant stand kafblade as a ship but i cant even lie like i get it man. blade’s perception of destiny is full of pain bc he’s left to suffer through it while kafka strives to make it her own wow sorry they mean so much to me. im realizing i havent actually answered your question but thats because i havent thought about it too much hejdjfkg i want her to find him on the side of the road or something. but i believe the stellaron hunters understand kafka best that’s why they’re closest to her even if sometimes it’s not the influence she needs

https://youtu.be/EED6XGHX7DI?si=jE7KkuZtSosG0zbB

kafka with calloused hands is so important to me she’s always wearing gloves now but won’t really wear them when she’s playing the violin because it’s much more intimate that way. UGH r tracing her fingers and knuckles and going over the faded marks there… let’s all cry. hanging out with acheswan and blade has made kafka believe that she’s so obvious she has to wear sunglasses around r for her own sanity but the whole time r is thinking “does she even like me 😣😣😣”, ridiculous. they’re both so stupid it’s really insane that it took them almost 15 years to get together like what’s wrong with them.

“i have two tickets” = i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you—

i would never tell kafka i like her i don’t think this is information she needs to have… it’d be obvious tho and she’d manipulate the shit out of me because of it but thats ok this is literally me

hope your finals arent too hard bc mine are definitely not going well so far hdhdjfkg but its fine we’ll live to write gp!kafka smushots during winter break

[n0t-vzin1s]

bf!chuuya headcannons

gn!reader x chuuya

a/n: i'm so surprised at how much attention dazais hc post got so here's chuuya

---------------------------------------

small nsfw warning?? only mentions sex

where do i even begin with him

he's probably never been in a relationship before, and if he has it was only for sex

so when you (undoubtedly) ask him out he's a little hesitant

and by that i mean

he probably outright avoided you for two weeks straight until you surprised him in his office

and even then he puts his career in first place

"i'm an executive, you'll be targeted"

ok and

what if we can defend ourself?

what then chuuya

he's super sweet, i can assure you that much

gets into arguments with you about the most stupidest shit

you or him are probably super petty and will just ignore eachother until the other admits they were wrong.

hint: it'll probably be you

chuuyas got a short fuse so if he has to admit he's wrong you've got a one way ticket to hell

like dazai, he teaches you self defence

and then gets his ass beat by you

idk he probably sleeps with a stuffed animal in his bed that dazai gave him when they were teenagers

just outright refuses to get rid of it

dresses fancy. no matter the occasion. which means you have to match him. sorry.

probably plays an instrument or something

i'm imagining guitar or violin idk

his room has a lot of photographs from his younger years

(they're all him and dazai)

when you question him about them, he clams up and stays quiet

family man

he never really.. had one, growing up

so if he has any friends with kids he's already offered to baby sit

surprisingly gentle with kids

he's rich so he probably will buy you anything you so much as LOOK at once.

what's that? you glanced at this plant in a store?

he's already at the register paying for it.

romantic dates!!

walking through the park with your hands intertwined was probably his favourite

or the time he took you to a pond and went swimming with you at three in the morning, proceeded by watching the sun rise

little spoon

there is no way in hell this man is a big spoon

likes painting with you

but he sucks at painting so you'll draw something magnificent and he's got a circle

surprisingly

he has to take a lot of vitamins due to deficiencies

lets you wear his hat often

everyone used to warn you to never touch his hat but now he just straight up sets it on your head

lots n lots n lots of playing games with him

or playing with his hair while he rages in a cod lobby

when the lobby hears you talking to him and him talking back they make fun of him for being a softy

they are found dead later.

LOVES when you braid his hair

will never admit it though

watches your favourite shows and movies with you

instead of buying you flowers on your first date, he brought you a lego BOUQUET of flowers. that way they'd never die and you'd have the memory forever

has yoh paint his nails for him since he's too shaky to do it himself

cuts his own hair and offers to cut yours

---------------------------------------

it kinda just occurred to me how much i have going on in my life

1. coding a story

2. publishing on wattpad (@/talesbyraven)

3. editing on tiktok (@/sirjuuzou)

like it doesn't seem like MUCH but it's a lot considering how much time it takes up.

i coded today for maybe 5hrs and got 160 lines done, which a CHAPTER has around 2000-8000 per chapter. 🤷‍♀️

publishing depends on my mood, although it has been messed up for the last month but i used to publish once everyday, but since it's changed i've been stressed out.

editing can be time consuming, and depending on if it's a transition edit or just shakes and whatnot it can take between 15 minutes to an hour and a half, and it's hard finding the motivation lol.