#i mean im gonna watch the movie eventually somewhere but man. man. man. man. i miss them already I MISS THEM ALREADY AAAA

[girlwiththegreenhat]

last ep over now what do i do with my life

season 4 was good and then it was DOGSHIT for a minute and then just as the episodes start getting really good and feeling like classic knight rider again it's OVER </3 WAA

[junityy]

dates with enhypen

# PAIRING. ot7 x gn!reader

# SYNOPSIS. basically what kind of dates they would take you on.

# GENRE. fluff

# WC. 683

# WARNINGS. mentions of food

# NOTE. might be a bit messy but since im not in the place to write a fic rn i wrote some hcs,, i hope you enjoy !! <3

⋆｡°✩ HEESEUNG

probably just staying in, watching something and eating

you either order food OR even better

heeseung makes you ramen <33

THE VIBES HERE UGHHH i want

it would be so chill. like SO chill but still fun

you might be invested in whatever you're watching but after some time you just talk

about literally ANYTHING

may go from small things to having a whole existential crisis,, like you talk about the most random things bc its so comfortable with him

and maybe cuddle too :((

plus you'd probably continue watching whatever you started after missing like half of it but hey

that's okay :,,,) for both of you

rest of the members are under the cut !!

⋆｡°✩ JAY

late night dates

oh my god where do i START

late night drives walks talks and stargazing just all of it

it'd be at the most random times too

i mean i know thats kinda normal but RANDOM random

sometimes you have to be careful to not be too loud whenever you're walking by some houses or whatever tbh

could stay the whole night not even gonna lie to you

you'd probably find a random place, maybe sorta abandoned and it'd be your own place to go to

a little hill or a rooftop from which you'll have a good view overall

⋆｡°✩ JAKE

library dates

like study dates ykk

spoiler: jake isn't studying tho. not even close to it

mans is staring at you the whole time while you are actually trying to study

whenever you catch him staring he acts like h really is going to learn stuff for school now

spoiler #2: that energy lasts for 20 seconds maximum

hes back to being distracted by you <33

will eventually try to REALLY study when you somewhat scold him but he gives up

literally cannot stop thinking about you when you're right next to him hes so <///3

⋆｡°✩ SUNGHOON

ice skating dates

we all know it.

he would absolutely make fun of you if you can't ice skate tbh

man he would have so much fun only watching you already </3

but he'd also try to teach you how to ice skate

would 100% say things like "this is BORING" in the most dramatic way when he's teaching you

bc you're obviously going slow yk

also you will never not see him flexing with his skills

however if you seem like you can't get the hang of it he'd act dramatic i just know

⋆｡°✩ SUNOO

picnic dates

i can absolutely 101% see this

the vibes :(( ugh im SOFT

it's simple but regardless, it'd be a lot of fun

just overall very soft vibes if that makes sense

you'd talk about the most random things and basically laugh about everything

you're probably the happiest when you're eating and with sunoo together??? hell yeah

also if there are some bees every now and then sunoo would probably crack up if you'd jump

maybe its only a personal experience okay idk

also i feel like sunoo would put a lot of effort into it to make it look as pretty as possible

if that makes sense yk

⋆｡°✩ JUNGWON

after watching his vlog i feel like he'd simply take you to the park

and do something there yk??

might do a little picnic or something similar

just sit down somewhere and watch a movie

or simply talk overall

and oh my god yes you'd absolutely watch the sunset together

take a few walks too

a overall very chill date

although you may be not doing THAT much it's a lot of fun

and the both of you absolutely love it

⋆｡°✩ NIKI

arcade dates

a 100% i do not take any criticism

would battle you every two minutes idc

he would have the time of his life let's be real for a sec

would refuse to SHUT UP for even a second

probably doesn't care about how loud he is either

i can lowkey see him being sad when the arcade would close bc he could stay there all night

his goal is obviously to beat you and i kid you not

this boy would do ANYTHING just to get first place if we're honest

TAGLIST @koishua @igyus @hoonluvs @iuwon @eternallyhyucks @sungsunnie @sooblvr @yourlocalhotgf @tyunni @yjwfav

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

[smutsonian]

Ma'am I had this idea. Outrageous but I did😂😂. Dark! Colin Shea. Can u imagine. Him acting all friendly but his intentions r not so good. So I can't sleep now. Yay😂😂

Heyy! So another movie I haven’t seen 🤭 But it’s basically like a Neighbor AU situation, right?

I’m going to try something, I guess 😂

safe hands

colin shea x reader

warnings: smut! dark fic! noncon! drunk reader, innocent reader, stalking, obsession, loss of virginity, dark!colin, not proofread  

wc: 1606

a/n: not me writing for characters i dont even know... @jack-skellingtons-stuff hope ur sleepin well now sdkskskkd

masterlist

So Colin...

Probably a boy next door

Like literally. You just moved and he’s your next-door neighbor.

So, imagine you... A young pretty little thing that’s fresh out of college and is looking for a job but you’re just this awkward little ball of sunshine that keeps messing everything up.

You never even go out of your apartment unless it’s for an interview, even then, you so dread those stuff.

“You’re a freaking adult now! Why can’t you just act normal and do adult... stuff?!” You would chide yourself in front of a mirror, groaning in desperation at your lack of... experience? Like workwise.

Hey, there are people working from home. Maybe you can do that?

And you did. And you actually found one which is great for your adulthood but not great for you because you never go out of your apartment anymore. At all.

That’s when Colin comes in.

He was there when you moved in, expecting you to greet him like every girl who sees him. He really gets em easily. I mean... look at him.

So he watched you as you brought boxes in which there was not much. There were like 3 boxes, maybe 5 but not more. He watched you with amusement as you were too busy grunting at the boxes, missing his nude form by his door, only a small towel to cover himself.

He takes a bite of his apple, obnoxiously chewing to catch your reaction but he was met with a slam of your door.

Since then, he has become fond of you.

He’d watch you as you went in and out of your apartment in those cute little skirts and wonderful blouses and every time, it’s a sight for him.

He eventually found out that you’re going to job interviews and he found himself following you and witnessing some of those awkward interviews and he finds himself growing more fond of you. Even got himself thinking that he might actually like you... Is that even possible? He’s Colin Shea. He doesn’t settle down.

But for you, he might.

He saw how you would block everything out and he listened to your late-night talks with yourself and he can’t help but think about how adorable you are. How helpless you are. Something ignited in him and all he wants to do now is be there for you. Protect you. Take care of you.

Imagine his reaction when you’re no longer getting out of your apartment.

So he finally decides to meet you. Or for you to meet him. He knows so much about you already but he won’t say that to you.

A knock forces you away from your laptop. You open the door to find a man staring down at you with a friendly smile.

“Umm, hi? D-did I, Was I making any noise or something?” Your stuttering would make Colin’s heart leap out of his chest and the way you're dressed down with shorts and a huge sweater only made his heart swell even more.

“Uh hi! I’m Colin! I’m your neighbor! I uh... Was going to ask a favor, if that’s alright?” He smiles shyly at you.

“Um, yeah! What’s up?” You smile awkwardly, silently praying for him to leave already. Not that he was annoying. You were just not used to this... And besides, you’re doing work.

“I locked myself out of my apartment and I tried talking to the office but I guess they’re already out. I mean it’s pretty late.” He looks down at his wristwatch before looking at you with a hopeful smile making your heart beat faster. Not because of his boyish cute smile but because the idea of a stranger being with you just doesn’t sit right.

But it would be more awkward to deny him now, would it?

“It’ll be as if I wasn’t here. I promise. Just need somewhere to spend the night. I mean I can sleep by my door but that would be--” 

“Y-yeah, I guess you can stay for a while.” You give him a small smile which Colin found extremely adorable which then made him grin. A grin that soon fell when he took a look around your apartment.

He watches as you make your way back to your laptop, quickly getting back into your zone. His heart falls at the sight. Is that what you’ve been doing the whole day?

“Have you eaten?” He finds himself asking, not being able to resist.

He watches your face contort into confusion and he would’ve awed at the sight but your reply made him somewhat angry.

“I guess not... Did you want anything?” You pull yourself away from your laptop once more and Colin didn’t know if he liked the idea of you preparing his food but nothing for yourself. 

What a sweet girl...

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll order take-out!” Colin cheered before pulling out his phone, wiggling his eyebrows at your shocked expression.

That’s how you find yourself eating pizza while watching some show on the telly.

Then those nights became a thing.

Colin would often visit you, making sure that you eat and take a break from work because he said that you tend to overwork yourself.

“You’re not my mom!” You’d playfully slap his chest.

“Well, I might as well be!” He’ll take your wrist before dragging you towards your bed and forcing you to watch another batch of comedy shows.

He’d be laughing at the show so much that you find yourself laughing as well. 

You would no longer feel so stressed.

But then things went badly. 

The company you were working for decided to let some employees go and unfortunately, those who work from home weren’t as important as those who work in the office.

You cried in Colin’s arms that night.

Colin did feel sorry for you. But maybe it’s for the best. Even the universe thinks you shouldn’t be working like that. He’s there to take care of you. You would no longer have to stress yourself out to live.

He’ll make sure to take good care of you.

Then the drinks came up.

One bottle of beer. Then two. Then three.

Honestly, you lost count.

Colin didn’t. He didn’t drink any.

He’d watch you with a smile as you’re sad and brooding aura turned into a giggly one.

“I’m sleepy...” You would mutter, head falling down Colin’s shoulder and he would embrace you happily, stroking the side of your face gently.

He’ll smile at the way you would squeal when he carries you to your bed.

“You enjoy being relaxed, babe?” He asks, taking your socks off. Then your shorts and shirt that went unnoticed by you.

“Too hot!” You’d fan yourself with your hand which Colin would take. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” He’ll press a kiss on your forehead that’ll make you giggle.

Colin would watch your naked body, touch your warm skin with patience.

“So beautiful... And all for me, right?” He presses a kiss on your lips and you nod at whatever it is he’s saying.

He’ll easily play your body, making you and himself feel good. His fingers would play with your clit while his mouth laps on your nipples, taking turns from left and right.

He’d bask at the sound of your moans and whimpers that went straight to his hardening cock.

He’ll only stop when you’re drunkenly begging for more which he happily gives.

His hard cock would be poking your entrance and as he pushes in slowly, your eyes would widen, suddenly not so drunk anymore.

“Colin?” Your frightened voice alerts Colin and he would shush you with a kiss.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. I got you... I got you...” He whispers before pushing in, swallowing your cries with lustful kisses.

“God!” He moans when he’s fully seethed in, your walls hugging his cock. He stays there for a while, listening to your heavy breathing and slightly feeling guilty at your cries.

“Ahh...” You cry out when he slowly pulls out. He’d kiss your tears away before slowly pushing back in, pulling your body closer to his in a hug, whispering promises about feeling better soon.

And you did.

Your cries turned into moans which motivated Colin to thrust faster yet still careful to not hurt you. He didn’t even have to ask because when he looked down at his cock, he saw little blood, and his jaw clenched, feeling some sort of remorse.

“You’re doing good, You’re so good to me.” He whispers before resuming his thrusts. He’d dwell at the sound of your pleasured moans and his hand would find its way down your clit, fingers playing with the nub until your body was shaking violently underneath him.

“You gonna cum? Cum for me, baby... You’re good. You’re safe...” He grunts at how your walls are tightening around him. You whimper before curling against his body, unknowingly pulling his body closer to yours. 

He shivers before cumming as well, his seeds filling your hole, making you drip with his cum. He places a loving kiss on your forehead before pulling out.

The mixture of blood and his cum makes him get a cloth before gently cleaning you up, being extra careful when he wiped at your core.

He cleans himself up before lying back beside you. He presses a kiss on the side of your head, your nose, and then your lips.

“I’ll take care of you. You don’t have to worry about anything anymore...” He places a hand on your stomach before smiling and pulling the covers over the both of you.

You’re in safe hands.

---

a/n: see i dont think i should write for these guys (from movies i haven’t watched/too lazy to watch) because im probs messing up a lot skskks anyway hope y’all think this one is alright! also im a sucker for innocent reader jcnavn

taglist

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[hitozy]

have you ever ‹ masterlist › denouement

tw! manipulation, mentioned underage sex, dubious consent, cheating. i also want to point out that reader is around 2-3 years younger than Iwaizumi, while Jae and Iwa are the same age. ps. this is a long chp :)

𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞

Iwaizumi has no idea of what has possessed him tonight. He doesn't know why he's walking around the city in the middle of the night a day before he should be on his way home.

He doesn't know why after the celebration he didn't follow his teammates. He doesn't know why he has barely answered your texts since after the game.

He also doesn't know why he agreed to go and see Jae, to hear her out.

He's been doing fine so far, seven months Jae clean and while the first three were bumpy; your company had made it easier to deal with. Your cheerfulness, your happiness, the adventures you've both have been planning have taken his mind off the broken heart he was nursing.

She continued to contact him, even when he begged her not to and blocking her phone was no use, she just got a new one and tried again and again. His resolve was diluted and he knew it would be a matter of time before he fell into his old habits.

lil jae: congrats on the win haji! let me invite you to a drink, im in town.

-

Iwaizumi recalls an old memory from back in high school, a few weeks before moving to California, you were sitting on his bed helping him organize his suitcase with 'essentials'. His clothes all over the place but as always, you showed enthusiasm at helping him out.

He remembers you giggling and calling him a dork while folding his Godzilla themed underwear and placing it inside his suitcase. He remembers the way you hummed some songs that you had just placed on your shared playlist because 'it's kinda your style' and it kinda is. He even remembers what you were wearing, a pair of black running shorts and a blue tank top. When you reached over the edge of his bed for his fallen socks, your cleavage was visible to his eyes, 'If a man ever peers down his shirt', he thought, 'I'll kill him without hesitating.'

But what he remembers the most is you pulling out an old shoe box from under said bed, a shoe box that held his most treasured things. Pictures from his childhood that matched the ones on your bedroom wall, doddles from your hand, your favorite flowers pressed inside a copy of your favorite book, short stories and poems, snippets of stories never finished from you. He'll never forget your teary eyes and happy smile when he took the box from you, emptying the contents carefully inside his backpack. The hug you gave him afterward still sets his heart on fire, nothing has ever been more lovely than you and your happy smile.

He also remembers Jae coming into his room right during your hug, wearing an empty smile on her face, her eyes red and raging. He's only ever seen her this mad whenever he's with you and he still doesn't get it.

She stay's to "help" when in reality all she does is glare at yn the whole time. It helps that you don't even mind the glares or the bad mood, joking that 'Jae's grumpy because we couldn't go to the movies today'.

It was late afternoon when you left, Iwaizumi had given you a bag filled with some of his stuff - things he knew you loved and adored, things he couldn't take. He watched you get inside your parents car and wave him goodbye, even though you both knew he'd be coming through your window in a few hours for movie night.

He remembers when he came back inside to find Jae naked on his bed. How angry she was and how she took it out on sex, the tension so palpable he could taste it. Once it was over, she walked towards his backpack and pulled out all of YN's things and that's when it clicked. She was mad because he was taking stuff about YN and not her, she made it clear when Jae told him, 'What the fuck is this.'

-

He remembers that hours later, he finds himself in your room squeaky clean and wearing nothing but his sweatpants and socks, his back against your front with his head against your breasts. He hadn't told you that Jae broke up with him, but he knew you had figured out he was sad because your arms cradled him since he got situated there and had not moved since.

How Jae said she wouldn't move with him in the end. How she had decided to stay in Japan and have him go to California all alone in the end, just because she wanted him to. How he begged her to come, to stay with him, to not leave him and how he watched her get dressed to go home. How she winked at him as she left with a, "Call me once you're in Cali."

How she only wants to go out when she knows he has plans with you. How she only cares about him when you're around or how messed up and used he feels ever since she took his virginity during your 14th birthday party.

He feels disgusting sometimes after sex with Jae, disgusted with himself on how wrong it is but how much he loves her still.

He didn't have to say any of that to you, the kiss on the forehead you just gave him eased it all away anyway.

-

He remembers all of this while he's kissing Jae in her hotel room, her dress and underwear discarded somewhere in the room, his cock buried deep inside of her like a starved man, Her nails racking down his chest from his unbuttoned shirt as she moaned at the feeling.

When Jae separates herself from him with half lidded eyes, she smirks, "I bet my little cousin can't even kiss right, the little virgin." She kisses the column of his neck, grazing her teeth against the skin, getting ready to mark him as hers and even though he doesn't agree with her, he stays quiet.

A memory burst through his mind as he pounds into Jae. The way your sighed his name when he settled himself inside of you, the way your nails scratched his back when he hit your G-spot, the way you moaned when his thumb circled your clit; your gummy, tight walls griped him as you came, with his name on your lips. Your soft, pillow lips that have only been his, only kissed him.

"Be safe out there, Hajime! I'll be waiting for you!" She smiled as she kissed him goodbye by the front door.

He turned to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to him like a starved man, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna runaway, mochi."

As he walked down the steps of his house, he heard her say "I miss you already."

It's then that Iwaizumi snaps out of it.

He pushes her off of him and steps back until his back is against the wall, feeling disgusted with himself in a way he hasn't since they broke up.

"I can't do this, I won't do this, I-" he pushes himself off the wall, tucking himself in and picking up his stuff, "Never again, Jae."

Jae watches him leave, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Her gaze steady as his figure disappears into the night, "If you think you can just up and go, Haji, you are very mistaken."

She walks to where she hid her phone and chuckles as she presses send, "Lets see what my little cousin has to say, hmm?"

-

Iwaizumi was worried, it wasn't normal for you to not answer his calls or texts. He was on the road back home with the team, their ruckus would usually give him a headache, but right now? Right now he can't focus on anything except the little 'unread' mark at the bottom of his last text to you.

my one: mochi? r u ok? im on my way back home

-

He didn't expect to come back home and find you in the living room in silence. Your eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying, you didn't have to say anything for him to know what had happened.

Jae told you.

He wish he could be surprised, but Jae had been nothing but a devil all this time and he can't believe he never saw it until now. Until he married you, an angel.

"Mochi, I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, please talk to me." He knelt at your feet, his hands on your knees trying to get you to look at him. His guilt crashing down brick by brick, he should have never gone out to see her.

"I know this means nothing to you, mochi. But I'll never see her again, only when its a family reunion or you're with me."

Silence.

"There is no excuse, but yn, please, look at me, let me explain."

She pushes him off a bit, without much force as if her sadness took away all her strength and his heart clenched. How could he do this to his best friend? Lie and lie, again and again and again.

YN-”

“No, STOP! You- you got your say, now it’s my turn.” She's shaking and her breaths are short. She's starting to have a panic attack.

I get up and advance towards her slowly, “YN you need to calm down. Here,” I place my hand on her back, “let me-”

She pushes me off, her back towards me, “Please, don’t touch me. Please, please, please.” She's sobbing and its hurts so so much.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

“Remember your breathing exercises, mochi. In and out. In…”

Eventually her breathing normalizes but she still won't look at me and it takes all of my strength to not touch her.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me, Hajime.”

Whoever said words can never hurt someone, has never been in my place. She just stabbed me without a knife and its more painful than I ever imagined.

“I wanted you to love me, to see me as your wife, as a woman but you didn’t. You don’t and I- it hurts so much.”

“But, mochi, you said you would marry me so we didn’t end up with strangers.”

“I know.”

“Then why-”

“I lied. I’ve loved you since the moment you came into my life. I’ve loved you for years, even before Jae came into the picture. I’ve loved you so so so much, I love you so much.”

“… you know about Jae? Since when?!” I made the mistake of reaching out for her, she pushed me back and said nothing. The dread of her knowing, of her finding out before today makes me sick.

“If you knew then why did you marry me!? Did you think I would change? That my feelings would change? You know I’m not like that.”

“I do know. I- thought that maybe-, but then it was clear that nothing would change but, I made a promise to you and I said it in our vows.”

“YN-”

“I know the mistake is mine. I know what all the blame is mine to take, I know it and I accept it. I’m sorry, Hajime, that’s me that you have to stay with.”

She finally turns to look at me, but I wish she hadn't. The tears are flowing steadily down her cheeks to her neck. I did this to her, I hurt her again and again, without thinking. No, without watching. Because if I had paid attention to her like Jae did, I might have seen it sooner.

“We could get a divorce, you know. That way you can stop getting hurt. Stop your heart from breaking. You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s okay. I- I give you permission to do it, to break my heart forever.”

“…What?”

She takes my hand, and in-between the tears she smiles at me as if her heart wasn't breaking in two. As if I didn't shatter her dreams for a few sloppy seconds, “It’s okay, I know what I signed up for, I knew it from the beginning. I guess I just didn’t want to accept it. So go ahead, break my heart, break it into a million pieces! I give you permission, Iwaizumi Hajime, please just - don’t leave me.”

I can't say anything, what am I supposed to say? My sweet, sweet girl is hurt and damaged and all she wants is for me to stay. I feel disgusted in a way I never did with Jae, because instead of being used, I am using her.

I bring her into my arms, and say the only words that have actual meaning between us, "I love you, mochi."

"I- I'll do better, I promise. Please YN," He gripped her shoulders tightly, "Please forgive me, I'll do whatever just, I'm so sorry, baby."

He can feel the tears spilling onto his shirt, a scorching pain expanding through his chest at the consequences of his actions. He hurt the one person who didn't deserve it, who he promised to keep safe and happy.

"Hajime, please take a bath, I wanna sleep without the smell of Jae."

His heart dropped at her words, he forgot that he had just upped and left from Jae's, only changing his clothes for comfort. His skin still smelled like her. As he separated from her, he kissed her forehead, "Join me?"

-

He laid on the bed with her hours later, her head on his chest where he could see her puffy eyes. She had washed him thoroughly to the point were he thought she had scrubbed him raw, and he couldn't blame her - he wanted to do the same since the beginning.

He pulled her closer, practically on top of him and felt her heartbeat against his own. He had done something terrible and he needed to fix it, fix this. So he needed to take the first step.

to lil jae: for someone who says they love me, u sure like to make me miserable. i don't know why u hate yn so much and tbh i don't care anymore. i don't want to see u or talk to u ever again. if u contact me, i'm gonna get a restraining order, jae. i can't do this anymore.

to lil jae: goodbye jae.

do you wish to block this number?

yes.

Remorse is memory awake, Her companies astir,— A presence of departed acts At window and at door.

Its past set down before the soul,         And lighted with a match, Perusal to facilitate Of its condensed despatch.

Remorse is cureless,—the disease Not even God can heal;         For ’t is His institution,— The complement of hell.

Remorse is memory awake - Emily Dickinson

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! *hands you all this and runs* i'll see you soon for chp11~

but in all seriousness, i wrote this chapter with my heart on my sleeve. love is truly the strongest curse and for it to be unrequired? imagine it.

now, i'm off to write the next part! and i am sorry :) ♥

[tendercoretroglodyke]

... I’m interested in legitimately gay Reese (I assume one piece of evidence is “look at what they’re doing and tell me you’re not gay”)

okay this is like 2 days late but this is why reese malcolminthemiddle is legitimately gay:

(side note: did anyone need a queer media thesis paper or something... I am willing to share lmao)

so none of this is like... rock solid evidence or anything but I need to believe at least one main character of a show is gay and/or trans to maintain interest and reese is the most plausible gay character. also it’s early 2000′s so he just gets a lot of vaguely homophobic jokes lmao

first of all, yes, the biggest piece of evidence he’s gay is those lines from that episode I quoted the other day--thinking malcolm is gay, he tries to show his support by giving him a gay porno: “’Naught Pool Boys 3!’ I watched 10 or 12 of these, and this one seems to have the most stuff you guys like.” and when malcolm says he isn’t gay, reese responds “Malcolm. Check out what those guys are doing in that movie, and THEN tell me you’re not gay.”-- so, 1) reese sat down and watched like a dozen gay porn movies to ““find a good one for his gay brother”” and 2) he thinks malcolm would reconsider his heterosexuality if he watched what was in that movie, implying that HE reconsidered his sexuality after watching that movie, or at the very least found it hot

in the same episode, the character tricking malcolm into thinking reese is gay lists the following as evidence: he obsesses over his hair and his looks, loves his gourmet cooking, has a bunch of magazines covered in comically muscular men, and that he’s angry and acts like a jerk because he’s “dealing with something weird and confusing.” now obviously, the obsession with hair/looks can be chalked up to the fact that he’s a teenage boy, and there’s nothing inherently gay about enjoying cooking. the dozen magazines of muscle-bound men could certainly be taken as gay evidence, though, and it IS established in the show that his entire bully persona is his way of masking his inner feelings and insecurities. there’s literally a whole episode where he & malcolm realize they have no friends because they act like little shits to push people away because they’re afraid of rejection and/or abandonment from their peers. they ostracize themselves before they can be ostracized by the other students at school. I could probably write a whole other essay on reese’s psyche tbqh lmao there’s a shocking amount there!!

of the brothers who are actually old enough to be attracted to girls (reese, malcolm, and francis), he shows the least interest. now bear with me here. you might be thinking, “well, yeah, it’s malcolm’s show, we’re not gonna see things from other people’s perspective!” but that is actually surprisingly untrue, the show is very much equally shown from each family members’ perspectives. starting about s2, when malcolm is in early middle school, he starts getting crushes on girls and pursuing them. francis goes after a few women in the first couple seasons and then marries a woman we see a lot throughout the show. 

in the roughly... 130?? episodes I have watched so far, nearly all of reese’s “interest” in girls involve either: competition with malcolm, genuinely just liking her as a friend, or some completely ulterior motive. the only exception to this I can think of is in the early seasons where he has a crush on a cheerleader and tries to get on her good side by joining the cheerleading squad, which the writers clearly set up as a way to make gay jokes about reese. let me give you a few examples of his relationships with girls

the first relationship we see him in is with a “stupid girl” that malcolm tried (and failed) to date, and the main reason they get together is that they think on the same wavelength and genuinely seem to enjoy hanging out. they take breaks from their bro chats to make out every once in a while. eventually he gets her to break up with him because he doesn’t want to go to the school dance with her (he doesn’t want to go at all). years later, he’s dating some girl we meet for like 5 minutes, before he goes to confess to her that she’s the first girl he’s ever loved. she then breaks up with him. he’s sad, but taking it fairly well. he’s about to leave when he sees malcolm hiding under the bed, and learns that he stole his girlfriend. he then runs away to join the army. he was clearly MUCH more upset that his brother stole his girlfriend than he was that his girlfriend broke up with him. there are many more instances of him and malcolm competing for a girl’s affections, and he seems mostly motivated by the competition itself.

in addition to “stupid girl,” he also manufactures an “attraction” to his female army buddy in the last season. the premise of this episode is that his old army buddy (a girl he play-wrestles with and insults like he would his own brothers) comes to visit him, and malcolm convinces reese that she’s attracted to him, and that reese’s nervousness at learning that fact is proof he’s in love with her. there’s a misunderstanding where reese asks her if she has certain “feelings” and she says she does, but what she ACTUALLY means is that she has a crush on reese’s MOM. she’s a lesbian. reese later propositions her (saying he’s saved his virginity for this--he’s probably about 18 here), and when she says omg no im gay, he is HUGELY relieved they can go back to being friends. CLASSIC mlm/wlw friendship moment. 

there’s an episode where these cute girls pick up reese (& nerds) to kiss in front of their boyfriends to make them jealous. reese is all for it, and when malcolm argues that it’s not worth his dignity and the beating he’ll get from the girl’s boyfriend, reese counters that that’s WHY he wants to do this--he’s completely invisible at school, and thinks getting beaten up for kissing some guy’s girlfriend will at least make him known around school. at no point does he indicate he’s actually attracted to this girl, and when it comes time to kiss her, he finds the weakest excuse to run away at the last minute. 

im not gonna list all of these but there’s more lmao

the following is a random assortment of one-off gay jokes and out-of-context lines with gay reese implications, often homophobically bc its early 2000′s writing:

says “I’m gay” to a girl to give malcolm a better shot at her

(again in competition with malcolm) tries to flirt with a girl by spraying milk in her face as the punchline to a joke, which is. well. hm. self-sabotaging, to say the least!!

Reese: “Do you think it’s right to totally change who you are and turn your back on EVERYTHING you believe in, just to impress a hot guy??” [his dad gives a long, blank stare, before asking:] “...Burt Reynolds hot, or Sting hot?”

“YEAH I like clouds! I call them sky kittens :)” (I just think that one’s sweet!)

“Look, Christie, here’s the thing. When I first met you, I was just messing around. But we’ve gotten so close that, now... I really like you! I can’t keep this up anymore. I’m not the person you think I am. I’ve been pretending since the day I met you. It’s so hard having to constantly cover my tracks to keep my story straight... and I don’t WANT to anymore! I’m tired of living this lie! I’m done with it. I’m sorry.”

he catfishes some guy to blackmail him, but is implied to continue the flirtation even after the catfishing/blackmail is revealed

reese is, technically, married to a man. this particular plot point is played as a joke and manages to be both racist and homophobic, so I won’t go into it. but I believe he is still married to that man. technically.

reese takes care of a huge box full of caterpillars until they pupate and become beautiful butterflies. I feel like there’s some kind of gay coming out metaphor here somewhere.

I think there are a couple other times where he comments on a guy’s attractiveness but I couldn’t find specific instances.

In conclusion: Reese is a deeply repressed gay kid who was socialized SO thoroughly as an early 2000′s straight boy that, despite his attraction for men and his obvious compulsory heterosexuality, he still cannot admit to himself that he is gay even as he enters adulthood. Furthermore, his subconscious frustration about this fact is turned outward to form the “schoolyard bully” costume he uses to mask his insecurities and keep others from getting too close to him. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I could be convinced to come back for another talk about how Dewey is trans or about how each and every member of that family is neurodivergent in entirely different ways. Assuming anyone has read this far in the first place!!

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Innocent hug

Dylan O’Brien x reader

Warnings: mentions of rape, sexual assault, cussing, mentions of smut, Dylan being sweet (this can be possibly triggering!!!!!!) angst

Promt: when Dylan finds you crying after an uncomfortable interview, the two of you find your selves admitting things you never thought you would say again (y’all i just, I don’t even know, I can’t write freaking descriptions hahaha)

Word count: 2712

Disclaimer: so basically the interview is for maze runner, just pretend that you play another character in the movie that was like Thomas’ best friend and newts love interest (also y’all pls send some requests)

Not my gif! Credits to @dyobrien! <3

“Hi I’m Dylan O’Brien!” Started Dylan trying to control himself from his laughter, before the cameras had begun rolling Dylan had cracked a joke that he was still trying to recover from.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N” you said smiling

“I’m Thomas brodie sangster” Thomas said giving the camera a small wave

“And we’re the cast of maze runner” you said still smiling, also trying to control your laughter

“Or at least some of it” Dylan added on making everyone lose it again. Dylan practically fell out of his chair, Thomas giggled and you just kept laughing. Dylan had a habit of making you laugh, it was one of the many things you loved about him. You and Dylan had been best friends since you met on the set of teen wolf. You were a guest star who was quickly killed off. You and Dylan hit it off immediately, you two just got each other. You had the same sense of humor, same interests, and generally you two just felt normal around each other. The two of you stayed connected even after you left the show. Then you were lucky enough to land another part with Dylan in maze runner. Dylan played Thomas, and you played Y/C/N, Thomas’ best friend and Newts love interest. You had become extremely close with the cast, they were like your family. Since the release of the scorch trials you and Dylan had become quite the hit. Though you weren’t together in the movie, everyone shipped it. Two years after scorch trials, you and Dylan were in another movie together! American assassin, Dylan played Mitch Rapp and you of course played Y/C/N, Mitch’s love interest. Everyone wanted you two together, and it was not secret, the two of you were constantly teased on set for “flirting”.

You were doing this interview for the release of your latest movie, Maze Runner: The Death Cure. You were very sad that this series was coming to an end, you were definitely gonna miss it, everyone was.

“So my first question is for all of you actually, out of the three of you, who is the funniest?” The interview met asked

“Dylan and Y/N are both quite hilarious, especially when they are together, they are always cracking jokes and laughing” Thomas said looking at you and Dylan

“We do have fun” you agreed “honestly though I think we are all pretty funny, but Dylan I would say wins this one” you said looking to your right at Dylan

“What can I say? I’m a true born comedian” said Dylan

The questions continued, Dylan and Thomas were asked a lot about work and their new projects, whereas you seemed to be getting the clothes questions, the personal life questions. Things like, “where do you recommend buying clothes?” “How was your trip to Italy” “what are you wearing today”. Sadly that was fairly normal.

“Alright Y/N your up again, now the buzzing question everywhere right now is, are you single?” The interviewer asked

“Yes I am single” you smiled even though you were generally annoyed inside “Im that girl at the family reunions who gets introduced to the 3rd cousins, and who always gets told by the grandmas, “see honey this is why you are still single”” you said

Next to you Dylan weesed and began laughing hysterically. Thomas again just giggled his sweet laugh.

“Well do they know the men you work with? I mean your standards must be pretty high huh?” The interviewer pushed

“Yes yes I guess they are” you said, Dylan laughed next to you

“Why aren’t you with any of them Y/N?” He asked

Your eyebrows knitted together at this question, was he really asking this?

“Well blondie over here” you said gesturing to Thomas “is taken as you know, and taken by one of the nicest people I know, so”

“Well what about you Dylan, I mean the media definitely wants you two together, you two are like Tom hanks and Meg Ryan, and hey if I were you I would totally hit that” he said to Dylan

You froze at this, wtf was this guy doing? Dylan’s eyebrows shot up and his jaw clenched, and Thomas glared at the interviewer.

“Really man?” Dylan asked, you adjusted yourself in your seat, moving your arms to cover your body, you suddenly felt exposed and uncomfortable.

“I was just kidding with you guys” the interviewer said laughing it off

“Wasn't very funny” Dylan said

“Sorry man, didn’t mean any harm” he said putting his hands up in defense

You were shaking, you had a past. A past no one knew about, a past that would be easily triggered by a comment like that.

“Maybe think before you speak next time” Thomas added

“Ya, not cool man” Dylan said

The tension in the room was deadly. But still the interview continued on with only two questions left.

After the interview everyone was checking to make sure you were ok, Dylan kept saying that he’d beat his ass and Thomas just repeated that he is a dick. On the way back to the hotel you were all staying at, the consern eventually died down. Thomas and Dylan were planning on meeting up with ki Hong and kaya at a bar somewhere. They asked if you wanted to join but you kindly refused saying that you needed some me time. They were hesitant at first but then gave in and left you in your hotel room. Once the door closed you ran to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the gold rimmed mirror. Then suddenly you were crying.

“No!” You yelled at yourself “don’t cry, stop it Y/N!” You told yourself, but the tears just kept flowing and they wouldn’t stop.

Dylan’s POV

I swear I was gonna murder that man, who the fuck makes comments like that? I knew Y/N, I knew how this was going to go. I could talk she was shaken up and uncomfortable, but she would never admit that. She never let people in, she claimed she didn’t want to bother anyone with her personal problems. Leaving her alone in her hotel room felt wrong, I knew she wasn’t okay. I could see it in her face. As we walked away from her door, down to the lobby I felt the sudden urge to go back. To run back to her and take her in my arms, stroke her hair and tell her it was ok. Then I decided that that was exactly what I was going to do.

“Hey man I think imma go back, you know how she is, I don’t think she should be alone” I told Thomas, he looked back at me with understanding eyes

“Ofcourse mate” he said nodding, “I think that is a brilliant idea”

“Tell kaya and ki Hong I’m sorry I missed them” I said already waking back to Y/Ns room

“Will do!” He responded

Then I burst out into a run, running back down the hall and to the elevator. I clicked the 6th floor and the second the doors opened I was out, running to Y/Ns door.

Once I got there I took the liberty of unlocking it with the extra key she had given me. She said it was only for emergencies, but I thought I could make an exception. I walked quietly into the hotel room, I opened my mouth to yell for her but then shut it again. I heard muffled cry’s coming from the bedroom. Shit, I hope she’s watching some random soap opera, I hope that’s not her crying.

“Hey Y/N?” I said opening the door to the bedroom

Your POV

When you heard Dylan say your name you quickly sprang into action. Because you were still in the bathroom he wouldn’t be able to see u for at least a few more seconds. You wiped your eyes and tired to put yourself together before walking out to greet him.

“Hey Dylan” you said smiling, keeping up your act

Dylan studied you, he saw your smile, but he also saw your red rimmed eyes and your fidgeting hands, he heard the slight crack in your voice and the tiredness in it as well.

“Are you alright?” He asked stepping slowly toward you

“Ya ya I’m fine! What are you doing here?” You said, way to quickly

Dylan looked at you with sad eyes, it broke him to know that you were hiding from him. “I was worried, I wanted to make sure you were ok”

“We’ll hate to break it to ya, but um you came back for nothing, I am totally fine, faaaaaantastic!” you said smiling at him even more

“You can talk to me” he said stepping closer to you again

“There is nothing to talk about” you said

“Y/N, I know you, I know what you are doing, your not ok, and your hiding it, your shutting me out again”

“Dylan you need to calm down! I. Am. Fine!” You said, he was right though, and you both knew it “you should really go have fun!”

“Y/N-“ he started before being cut off again

“I insist Dylan, please, don’t worry about me, ok?” You said smiling sweetly

“That’s a lot easier said than done” he said looking down, then an idea came to him, it was horrible and he knew you would hate him, but he needed you to let him in “but if that’s what you want, then I’ll leave” he said

“Yes! Go have a good time!” You’d aid practically pushing him out of the bedroom

“See ya later!” You said closing the bedroom door behind him

Dylan walking over to the front door, opened it, and then closed it, still standing in your hotel room. Meanwhile you were listening to hear him leave, and when the door shut you began crying again. Then suddenly strong arms were tapped around your body, pulling you in close. You jumped.

“Hey hey, it’s just me” Dylan said stroking your hair

“But-but you left” you said looking up at him confused

“I didn’t, I’m sorry angel but I needed you to be honest with me” he said looking at you in your eyes. His heart breaking into a million pieces, he hated seeing you like this.

“I-I’m so sorry” you said beginning to cry even harder

“Don’t be sorry angel, it’s ok I’m here” he said hushing you and continuing to stroke you hair. He held you in his arms and never let you go. He held you as you cried, though he was also breaking inside.

After what seemed like forever, your tears ran out and you began to calm down. Dylan still holding you close.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked sweetly

“Not really” you said sniffling

“You know I will go back and kill That guy if you want me too right?” He said pulling away from you so he could see your face

You didn’t look at him in the eyes, though his tried to find yours

“No it’s ok, really. That guy was a Douche bag, it’s not his fault I have shit” because you had just been crying and weren’t thinking strait, those words just slipped through your mouth. Dylan’s eyes widened and he moved your chin to that you had to face him.

“What kind of shit?” He asked

“Nothing” you said

He widened his eyes saying “really?”

You nodded in response to his action.

“Come on Y/N I’m here, please just talk to me” he pleaded

You stood up and out of Dylan’s grasp. “Listen Dylan, there is a lot you don’t know about me, and it’s all for good reason, ok? I recommend leaving it alone” you said

“I have left it alone for long enough Y/N!” He said standing up as well

“Whatever Dylan” you said waving away his statement

“No! Do not shut me out!” He said walking over to you again grabbing you hands, you could tell he was getting mad, but when he grabbed you it scared you

“No stop! Please! I’m sorry!” You pleaded, Dylan let go of your hands. His heart broke. He looked at you with concerned eyes.

“I’m sorry” he said, he noticed you were shaking, he was so confused, your reaction wasn’t normal. “Please just talk to me, please?”

You sighed and sat down on the bed, putting your face in your hands. Dylan sighed, giving up he began walking away when suddenly you began talking.

“I was 20, it was the first week of my sophomore year of college, my best friend at the time was bugging me about going to some frat party for back to school, the guys she liked had asked her to come and bring a friend. I told her I had to study but she didn’t believe me because it was the first week of school. I wasn’t a party person but I gave in. We got there, and she was drunkenly talking to the guy. I only had one drink, that the guy, his name was Brandon gave me. I started to feel sick and I went to go lie down. I was not thinking strait and when Brandon offered to help me I accepted, he carried me to the bedroom and put me down on the bed. By that time I was confused but barely conscious. He um…” you hesitated, Dylan stared at u in disbelief “he rapped me, he fucking rapped me. I tried to tell my friend but she just accused me of being jealous and not happy for her, saying Brandon would never do that. She never spoke to me again. Then a year later my boyfriend, who I had only been dating for a month or so wanted to ya know do it and I told him I wasn’t ready, I lied telling him I was a virgin. He was fine with it and he said he would wait. He asked again a month later and I still said no, this time he was more angry. We fought and I told him what happened and he called me a slut. We didn’t technically break up but we didn’t really speak. I felt bad so one time I decided to surprise him in his dorm. He was there with another girl. He cheated on me. I never told anyone else about what Brandon did to me. Not my parents, not my friends, not the police.” You finished in tears again

Dylan’s heart was in a million pieces, his best friend was raped and he didn’t know about it. Ofc it was a few years before you met him but he still kicked himself for not protecting you. He loved you! He loved you so damn much. He walked and he wrapped you up in his arms.

“It’s okay angel” he spoke softly so he would scare you. He let his emotions take hold of him, he no longer had control of what he said, “I love you so much and I will never ever leave you or hurt you, I will always protect you.” He told you

You looked up, he just said that he loved you, “what?” You asked

Dylan then realized what he had said “oh um ha” he said scratching the back of his head, screw it he thought. “Ya I love you Y/N, I have loved you for a long time, and and I feel bad telling you now, I don’t wanna take advantage of you but I do. I love you and-“ he was cut off by your lips on his. They were soft, moved as if they were meant for each other.

“I love you too” you said as you smiled

Dylan let out a breath of relief and kissed you again. When Dylan met you, you were nervous about your new job next to big actors, Dylan hugged you trying to comfort you. You never forgot that hug.

You layed in his arms, and for once in a long time you felt light, happy, and safe. And it was all because of one innocent hug.

[honeyyu]

Practice | Doyoung

!oneshot

Word count: 2k

Pairing: Reader x Idol!Doyoung

Genre: Smut

Warnings: unprotected sex, public sex, cursing, nudes (I think thats it?)

Summary: When Doyoung leaves for practice and you see a sexual movie scene on tv you feel horny. You decide to make Doyoung horny too and it ends up exactly like you wanted.

———————————

“Baby I’m off to practice!” Doyoung yelled from the front door, ready to leave. Before he could you parcoured from your bedroom to Doyoung. “Not even an goodbye kiss?” You whined while pouting.

His hands came in touch with your cheeks and pushed you forward with them. You closed your eyes, waiting for his lips. They soon came in touch with yours but it only took a second before he pulled away again. And with that he left to go practice with the rest.

You felt slighty dissapointed that he didn’t kiss you longer like he always does but you didn’t like to assume things. Maybe he was in a hurry or tired from all that practicing. Although he always said to you not to worry about that because he’s used to it and its his ‘job’.

With a sad feeling you sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. Not bothering to switch channels you watched what was already on. It was a movie. There was a man and a woman sleeping in the same bed, tangled into each other. It made you think of Doyoung. He always liked to sleep with you instead of in the dorms. Late in the night, after practice, he would sneak into the bedroom where you were asleep and slip next to you. Carresing your hair and body.

Deep in thoughts you heard moans. You looked up and saw the woman and man who were laying down just couple seconds ago, now making out messily. His hands roumed around the womans body while she removed his clothes. Suddenly she got pushed on her stomach and he slapped her ass. Your eyes widened by the sudden movements. Doyoung rarely did that with you

You kept looking at the screen infront of you. You didn’t know why. Most of the times when sex scenes were on you would switch channels or turn it off. But now you felt aroused by it. Maybe it was because you felt sad about the kiss or you just felt horny.

The scene went on as you got rid of your clothes. The man now pushed his thing inside of the woman. Her back arched and on cue he put her nipple into his mouth, licking and biting it.

“What kind of movie is this.” You muttured under your breath but not that you were complaining about it tho. Without realizing it your fingers touched the same spot the man on tv did. You pusded your bra out of the way and squished your breast.

Before you could move on to your womanhood you stopped yourself. It didn’t feel right to touch yourself because of a movie while Doyoung was practicing hard. You turned off the tv and wanted to get dressed again but a thought crossed your mind. “He would like that.” You yelled enthusiastically while getting up to grab your phone in your room.

You didn’t know if he was on break right now or in mid-practice but if he had some time to grab his phone he would love this. Searching for his contact on kakaotalk*. It was of course not to difficult to find because the last person you talked to was him on this app so you immediately clicked on his name to open the chat. You caught a glance of the chat you two had before. It was yesterday when he wanted to come over in the morning after he was done practicing. You told him he could come anytime and you gave his your door password, again.

You two were dating long enough that youve told him your password atleast twenty times but he would always forget after a couple months and sometimes even days. You thought about giving him a tattoo with the code on it but that wasn’t a really good idea.

You slightly slapped yourself to focus again. Your plan was to call him first to know if he was on his phone or not. The phone rang a couple times but no anwer, meaning he was probably in the middle of practice. You switched from kakaotalk to camera. Still in your lingerie you took a couple pictures standing, sitting and laying. Then feeling more excited you removed your lingerie and took a couple more pictures like that in the mirror, placed infront of your bed.

Now for the more sexy pictures to please him you moved onto the bed. You placed a pillow behind your back to lay down comfortable and another pillow infront of your pussy, where you could perfectly place the phone too.

Your pussy on display you took the last pictures. You weren’t planning on sending them all because you took a lot but only the most sensual, to make him horny. After the photoshoot you switched to kakaotalk again.

Picking the best ones that show the most you send them. It was risky because the other members could see it but all you could think about was Doyoung seeing the pictures. His dick hardening, ready to fuck you when he gets home telling you how bad you are and you needing a punishment. Maybe he will even spank me just like the man on tv did.

All you had to do now was wait for his response. To pass the time you put on some music and turned on the laptop to play some games. Doyoung never really played games but sometimes he loved it when you two played together. He would always let you win to make you happy. You on the other hand would get annoyed at him for not even trying. Nevertheless you had always fun in the end.

Minecraft didn’t even load the world yet and your phone rang already. You looked at the name and ofcourse it was Doyoung. Smiling to yourself you answered,” Hey baby.”

“Don’t baby me Y/N. I swear to god if one of my members saw those pictures you’re not walking tomorrow.” You bit your lip by his words feeling turned on again. “What are you gonna do to me then?” You asked innocently. Obliviously you wanted to hear him tell you the details. How he would fuck you so hard, the whole building would hear. Or how he would stick his dick deep into your mouth by pulling your hair and guiding your head himself.

“Come to the SM building. Now!” With that he hang up. You couldn’t ignore his order ofcourse so you put on clothes who were the easiest to remove, a dress with no underwear to come between us. Luckily the building was a ten minute walk and if you would run it wouldn’t even be five minutes. So you ran as fast as you could. For him.

—

Arriving there you saw Doyoung already waiting for you on the stairs. Before saying something to him you admired the view. His front hair locks were sticking on his forehead. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and sweatpants. Also the shirt was sticking to his broad shoulders and wide chest. You couldn’t finish your examination because Doyoung stood up. His expression showed anger but a sexual lust too.

He grabbed your arm and moved towards the stairs to drag you somewhere private,” Ten minutes. Then my break is over.” You grinned, knowing ten minutes would be enough. It would be the best ten minutes you had the last couple days you could tell.

You thought he would bring you to a restroom to fuck you on the counter there but it suprised you when he opened a practice room. The lights were out and when he switched them on you could see the room clearly. Most of the walls were mirrors, dozen chairs in the back of the room and a couch with a small coffee table. And ofcourse a tv too but that wasn’t important for you since he wouldn’t fuck you on that.

He moved you to the middle of the room, letting you face the biggest mirror wall. In the mirror you could see him grabbing a chair and moving towards you again. He stood behind you with the chair between us. Knowing what he wanted you sat down quickly.

His hands touched your neck, then your shoulders and finally went down to your breast, brushing over them. By this single, soft touch you felt like moaning already. But you bit your lip harsh to hold back the moan. He then kneeled down infront of you. His stare meeting your eyes but soon it moved to your pussy. You knew he could see it clearly and bare and it made you wet.

Not what you expected he walked again to stand behind you. His body hang over you and his hands reached for you legs. He harshly spread them apart, looking in the mirror. Following his gaze you looked at yourself in the mirror. You saw his hands move to your pussy through the mirror.

He finally touched your clit and circled around slowly. Your eyes rolled back while grabbing his underarm. As you were about to moan out loud he pulled his slender fingers away. Your body pushed itself back, wanting to feel his touch again.

“We only have five minutes left. Let me fuck you immediately.” With that statement he pulled you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he pulled down his sweats with underwear and sat down eventually. When he also let go of you, you sank down his long, thick length. You now finally moaned out loud, moving your hands to his neck for support.

“Ah fuck Y/N. You’re so fucking tight.” He cursed under his breath while grabbing your waist and pulling out again only to push into you with full speed. Moans left your mouth as he moved his hips up and down to thrust into you. All he could do was groan and curse but that made you more turned on. His groans were perfectly raspy.

Slapping sounds, moaning, groaning and cursing filled the room. By the sounds he made and his dick filling you it wouldn’t take long for you to cum. “I-Im cumming Doyou-“ Your legs shaked and a familiar feeling rushed over you.

“Fuck Y/N fuck.” His breaths went faster and his groans harder. He was close so to make him cum fast you pulled out to put him into your mouth. You licked his tip, tasting his cum a little. Not having any patience he pushed you be your hair to make his dick enter your mouth. You moaned by his roughness. By that he went faster and faster and finally came. “Swallow.” He didn’t have to tell you that twice. You swallowed like a good girl and relaxed your muscles.

He let go of your hair to grab your face, pulling you into a long make out. You bet he could taste his own cum. Knowing it was time for him to practice he stood up, wearing his clothes again. He helped you get dressed too. But you couldn’t leave yet. Sweat was all over you two so Doyoung grabbed a towel and cleaned the most of it. Then you both left the room hand in hand.

You two entered his practice room. All of the members heads turned around to look our way. You smiled brightly and waved,” Sorry I was just bringing him a kiss.” The members laughed, knowing that it was more then just a kiss. Doyoung laughed too and walked away from you, leaving you alone by the door,” See you tonight baby.” You nodded, ready to leave the boys practice.

You turned around, waved at them and left but before you could step into the elevator you could hear Johnny say,” She has nice tits.” With a slap sound followed. He definitely saw the nudes but you didn’t really care. Johnny wasn’t one to judge you or Doyoung. With a laugh you left. Entered a taxi, feeling too tired to walk and you made your way home thinking about how you could do this more often if it would lead to a fast sex session.

And you remember his words: “I swear to god if one of my members saw those pictures you’re not walking tomorrow.” Since Johnny saw it, all you had to do was wait for him at home and a second round.

————————————-

*kakaotalk: Its like the main messenger in Korea

A/N: This oneshot is made very fast so I know its bad writted and im sorry. Im posting this mainly because I feel guilty for now posting on my series. Lately I haven’t got much time to write for them so thats why I wrote this oneshot. :/

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[numba99]

The Intern - Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

summary: You are an intern at MSG, strictly forbidden to become involved in with any of the Rangers players. However, this becomes difficult when you catch the eye of a certain player. Word count: 2k

warning: Smut, this part is a lil choppy im sorry but we got smut so it makes up for it I think

You woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. You hadn’t even drank that much - just a few sips of a cocktail - but you were anxious and barely slept, which was never a good combination.

“I know, I know,” you sighed when you walked out into the living room. You knew Jess would be there waiting for an explanation. Jess let you go to bed without any details last night, which you were grateful - and surprised - about. 

“I didn't say anything,” Jess replied innocently, though you could see she was fighting back a smile. You were sure she had an idea of what happened, she just needed you to confirm it.

“Ugh,” you slumped down on to the couch, “We kissed.” You covered your face with your hands, not wanting to see the I-told-you-so smile.

“Color me shocked,” Jess feigned surprise.

“Don’t be so excited, this is really bad,” you replied.

“Was he that bad?”

“No, I mean the kiss was good. Amazing actually, which makes this all so much more worse,” you said.

“Listen, y/n, I know you have this big no romance rule to follow, but like come on. How would your supervisor ever know?” Jess reasoned.

“What if someone saw us?” you questioned.

“Did you kiss in front of people?”

“No it was alone in his room,” you replied.

“Hot,” Jess smirked, “But then how would anyone know?”

“I don’t know,” you frowned, “It just makes me nervous. Like yeah sure a kiss is one thing, but it can’t keep escalating. It’s going to get me in trouble eventually.”

“So what are you gonna do just ignore him?” Jess asked.

“I’m going to have to,” you replied.

“I was joking y/n you can’t ignore this man after you kissed him,” Jess shook her head, “That’s fucked up and you know that.”

She was right. It was really shitty, and you didn’t want to do that to Lias. However, the thought of talking to him made your stomach twist in knots. And how would you do it? You most definitely couldn't have this conversation at MSG, where anyone could hear... but going somewhere alone together wasn’t a good idea either. You didn’t trust yourself alone with him at this point.

You sighed, “I’ll figure something out.”

___

When it came time to go back to your internship you had butterflies in your stomach. You still hadn’t quite figured out how you were going to handle this. Every plan you concocted either made you cringe or damn near go into a panic. Avoidance, while not right, seemed like your best and only option at this point.

“Y/n I need to talk to you in my office,” Beth said before you could even settle into your desk. Your stomach fell to the floor. She knows. Oh god you really fucked this up. You tried to keep a straight face as you sat in the chair on the opposite side of her desk, your mind racing with ways you could cover yourself.

“Is everything okay?” you dared to ask. You prayed she didn’t notice the slight tremor in your voice.

“Yeah I just needed to ask you something,” she replied simply, “Don’t worry it’s good.”

“Oh, great,” you let out a sigh of relief. You were off the hook for now.

“So the team is going to St. Louis in two days and the guy that normally travels with the team had something come up and can’t make it. They’re asking me to stand in for him and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me,” Beth explained.

“I would love to,” you perked up, “I didn’t even know that was a thing interns could do.”

“Not normally, I only invite the really good ones,” she said with a smile.

“I’m honored, thank you so much,” you beamed. You felt a twinge of guilt, you were hiding things from her after all. But you reasoned with yourself it was a one time mistake and you shouldn’t let it cloud something as wonderful as this. 

Beth explained it would be a quick trip, arriving the day before and leaving directly after the game. Everything was already arranged for you, all you had to do was show up at the airport on time. That much you could most definitely handle.

The only problem you could foresee was Lias, but you had time to work on that. Beth informed you the team would be practicing a their practice facility leading up to the trip. Just knowing you had a few more days in the clear filled you with an immeasurable level of relief. Maybe you luck would least and Lias wouldn’t bother you at all during the trip. 

That hope, however, was short-lived.

He spotted you first just as they were calling the players to board. You had been hanging back, trying to hover behind some of the other support staff on the trip. You were grateful he was already far enough along that he couldn't come back to talk to you, but from the look in his eye you knew he wanted to. A knot began to grow in your stomach. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But there was no turning back now.

The plane ride wasn’t much better. Lias was seated far ahead of you, but every couple of minutes he would turn back to look at you. You kept your eyes trained ahead, pretending to be engrossed by the movie the screen in front of you was playing. You were afraid if you made eye contact he’d try to engage with you, and with Beth sitting right next you you most definitely could not have that happen. Her being asleep was the only thing providing you any comfort, at least she couldn’t see Lias being painfully obvious about his interest in you.

Off the the plane the texts came in. It was nothing crazy, just a few messages about how he was happy to see you here and that he wanted to talk when you got the chance. You didn't know how to answer so you just didn’t.

The only time he actually caught you was in the lobby of the hotel. “Hey, did you get my te-”

“I’m sorry I can’t talk right now Lias,” you brushed him off. You could see on his face it hurt him, which you felt bad about, but at least he dropped it. Finally, you were able to escape to the cover of your room, which, to your delight, you had your own. As much as you liked Beth, you thought it would have been awkward to share a room with her.

You took some time to shower and relax, mindlessly flipping through the TV in just your towel for a bit. Eventually you got to what you were supposed to be doing - watching highlights from the past few times the Rangers have played the views and outlining some questions to ask at the press meeting. And then your phone chimed. Lias again.

y/n please, I need to talk to you. Can I come to your room?

The had bad idea written all over it... Beth was just down the hall. On the other hand, having her so close by may keep you more accountable. And you had to talk to Lias, you couldn’t avoid him forever. This seemed like the only way to do it privately without having to meet at one of your places.

Okay please just be don’t get caught. room 328

You paced the room, wringing your hands nervously as you waiting for the knock. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to come. You opened the door and pulled him inside, peeking out to make sure no one had seen. 

“So you kiss me and then completely ignore me?” Lias asked as you closed the door behind him.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal,” you lied, “It was just a kiss at a party.”

“Oh come on, y/n, I don’t buy that. You don’t even sound like you believe it,” Lias challenged. 

“It doesn't matter what I believe,” you sighed.

“But it does,” Lias replied, taking a step closer to you, “You deserve to be happy and to have freedom, these rules are ridiculous.” You were quiet because well, he was right, but also him being so close to you made you nervous. You totally forgot how to speak when his eyes were locked on to yours. “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll leave, I promise. Just say you don’t want me and I’m gone.”

“Lias...” you voice was just above a whisper.

The next few moments happened slowly, yet in a blink of an eye. One minute his hand was on your face, gingerly rubbing your cheek and the next you were falling on to the bed. You wrapped your legs around him, keeping him close to you as your tongue slid into his mouth.

You slid your hands under his shirt, feeling the muscles on his back. They felt better than you could have imagined. Lias made quick work of your clothes as well, stripping you down to just your underwear.

“We have to be quie- oh,” a moan caught in your throat as he slid his hand down the front your underwear.

“Shh, quiet,” he smirked. You wanted to roll your eyes but they ended up just rolling back into your head. Lias was more than skilled with his fingers. They slid easily into your slick entrance, as Lias kissed your neck. Your hand was woven through his hair, yanking on the golden strands each time you felt like letting out a moan.

He worked circles over your clit, sending little twitches throughout tour body. Your stomach was knotting with pleasure, ready to snap at any moment and flood your system. And with in moments it did just that. You let out a long, blissful sigh as you came around his fingers.

“Fuck,” Lias groaned near inaudibly. 

“I need you Lias,” you practically whined. Lias nodded eagerly, leaning over the side of the bed to find his pants that had fallen to the floor. He dug through the back pocket, fishing out a condom.

“Did.. did you know this was going to happen?” you raised a brow.

Lias chuckled as he rolled it down his length, “I was hoping.” You smiled, glad he thought so far ahead. Lias slid back between your legs, looking at you once more to confirm you were ready. After a quick nod he pushed in slowly. 

He stretched you out perfectly, you couldn’t believe how good he fit. Lias was feeling it too, the grip on your hips had tightened - like he was trying not to cum right then and there. He moved slowly at first, working both of you up. You arched your back, feeling him push even deeper inside you.

“Lias,” you gasped, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt yourself getting closer. You bit your lip, trying to prevent yourself from being any louder.

“Fuck, yes just like that,” Lias half whispered hand moaned as you rolled your hips to meet his. He moved quicker, his thrusts long and hard. Suddenly your vision was clouded with stars. You gripped his back, stifling a moan into his neck as you came. Lias let out a moan breathlessly, twitching deep inside you as he joined you.

You both caught your breath for a few minutes before Lias pulled out of you. He tossed the condom away and then cuddled back up next to you. “I have to leave right?” he mumbled against your skin. You could feel him pouting against you.

“Unfortunately, I think it would be hard to explain you leaving my room in the morning,” you tried to make light of it,

“Sucks,” Lias murmured, planting a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“I wish you didn't have to,” you admitted, snuggling closer to him. 

Lias smiled softly, “One day I won’t have to. I promise.”

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Hyunjin

A/N: SHE PROTECC

SHE ATTACC

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY

SHE BACC

HI GUYS!!! I’m so happy to be posting again i cry :,)  i hope you enjoy!!!! i;ll be updating as much as i can without rushing too much :D

MASTERLIST

Prepare your wigs peeps

This is gonna make me swerve

I mean

cmon it’s Hyunjin

Let’s do this!

Prince Hyunjin

Is actually smooth af with his crush

He'll complement you whenever he gets the chance

Or gives you food

Basically your knight in shining armor

Ye, that’s not what actually happens

He's smiling like an idiot and about collapse when he’s with you because HE'S FREAKING OUT OK

So freaking nervous his heartbeat is always up when he’s with you

You sometimes think he’s about to have a heart attack and you’re not stupid you know why lmao

Same for when he confesses

At first he’s pretty calm about it

Just casually asked if you wanted to see a movie with him some time

“Like... a-as more than friends?”

You'd kinda expected it so you weren't too shocked when he asked you

So you said yes

Duh

And he does a double take

"Wait.... Are you serious? You want to?"

"Well yeah?"

"WHAT WHY"

Was good with flirting but didn't actually think you'd go out with him smh

Now every minute he just contemplates the fact that he has you

And he still can't believe it

Like shit dude

He’s with the y/n

You never feel unloved when you're with him

He loves going for long walks, just to talk and relax

Why does it sound like he's a dog here lmao

Will always take as many pictures of you as his phone storage will allow, his camera roll is stuffed with pics of you

Will insist on going to the park for a picnic, he just loves you and the sunshine

He loves to quietly slide your hand into his

But he always ends up giggling because he’s so giddy about being with you

Has to take a moment to charge up his courage before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek

He then goes an unreal shade of scarlet as he covers his face, muttering that he ‘can’t believe that he actually did it’! 

It takes him a while to finally gather up the courage to properly kiss you

Like.... a very long time

You were starting to get worried that he didn’t actually like you

Maybe he was just too nervous to tell you that it wasn’t working for him

buT NOPE

On one certain date, Hyunjin had prepared a cute little dinner on the practice room floor

He was so apologetic about the poor setting, but finally had stopped saying sorry when you’d told him for the 2376129th time that you were having fun

At some point, he just went uber silent, watching you not in a creepy way

You eventually noticed, and just stared back

“What?”

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes did widen a wee bit

“What are you lookin at, you’re sorta scaring m-”

He cut you off and just kissed you

BOI YOU WERE SO SHOCKED

Afterwards you both just stared at each other

And then Hyunjin goes all red

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I’m sorry that was stupid you can slap me if you want!!!!”

“Bruh why would I want to slap you?!”

“You don’t hate me?”

facepalms for days

You meet the other boys only a few minutes later

Go figure

You’re talking casually, the embarrassment from the kiss wearing off

They all come stampeding into the practice room making an ungodly racket

And all go quiet when they realize what they’ve done

Changbin, bless him, tries to reduce the awful level of awkwardness: “*cough* uh hey, Hyunjin.... This must be y/n right?” He waves at you. “We’ve heard a lot about you, Hyunjin never stops talking about you”

He misses the death glare Hyunjin shoots him

Then Jisung

Freakin Jisung, man

Waltzes up: “Hyunjin’s cheeks are really pink”. He gives a cheeky smile. “You didn’t kiss did you?”

The room goes as quiet as a tomb

“OH SHIT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY KISS DID YOU????”

Of course Hyunjin completely loses his shit at the sight of you turning a deep red. “GODDAMMIT JISUNG STFU”

Ye your first meeting with SKZ wasn’t the best

But you all bonded rather quickly after

And Jisung buys you little snacks sometimes as an apology for your first awkward meeting

OH GOD THE BOYS ADORE YOU

If you’re ever sick, they always get snacks for Hyunjin to give you

And if you’re really under the weather, they’ll cover for Hyunjin so that he can stay with you and take care of you.

He wraps you in blankets

YOU ARE NOW A BURRITO

And tries to make soup for you

We know what cooking!Hyunjin leads to

You’re chilling on the couch and you suddenly hear a high-pitched scream

You’re up and sprinting to the kitchen at the speed of light still wrapped in a burrito

To find him fanning at a smoking pot

“WHAT THE FUCK HYUNJIN YOU JUST NEED TO HEAT IT UP HOW DID YOU START A MINI FIRE?”

You’re home doesn’t burn down thank goodness

And you end up heating some soup for yourself while Hyunjin watches

And it’s! hilarious! when he’s sick!

He becomes a little ten-year-old istg

But in a really cute way

He doesn’t ask for anything: food, to watch TV etc

Nah he just wants cuddles

The whole damn day

So while you’re struggling to keep a mask on and not getting sneezed on, this idiot is smiling like a puppy if puppies could smile, clinging onto you like a love-filled leach did that sound weird? i think that sounded really weird

i want this tattooed on my face thx

Now idk what this dude is afraid of

Something tells me one big fear would be to lose Stray Kids and the people he loves

And so I think he’d get kinda nervous when you both see less of each other and when he gets busier

You can’t talk as much because of his crazy schedule and with lack of sleep, he starts getting more irritated easier during the little intervals of time you get to see each other

At some point he might snap at you, maybe for no reason at all, and you’ll snap back indignantly

Yeah you love him but you’re not taking any attitude

If things get really bad, he just shakes his head, saying he needs some air

You’ll both give yourselves some space, but eventually Hyunjin becomes terrified that you’re too angry with him to talk again

So he goes to find you and talk

You both hug it out and decide to spent the rest of the day together for more quality time

And it’s totally worth Hyunjin getting an earful from Chan the next day

OK back to fluff quickly quickly

On the days Hyunjin goes somewhere, you sometimes join him in the car ride, tho you’re always super careful to never show your face when he gets out

Gotta stay hidden yknow?

You’ll both send cute little texts throughout the day and OOF just couple goals

You: hey check this out, this is me 2 u *sends heart meme*

Jiiniie<3: oh yeah? well this is me @ u! *sends heart meme with more hearts*

You: boi dont start smth u cant win!

And thus begins the heart meme wars

r they even called heart memes idk

i want this tattooed on my face pt2

We’ve already established that Hyunjin can’t cook for love or money

So if he even steps foot in the dorms’ kitchen

You bet that at least two other of his hyungs will follow for pure supervision

And he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to cook something by himself

And you’re grateful that your safety and world peace had been assured by this rule

Although, you’re allowed to cook together as long as you watch what he’s doing

If anything at all goes wrong, the blame is pinned on you

So it’s natural for you to treat these cooking projects as once-in-a-while occasions

Now when you ask about meeting his parents

Holy Hell

Stutters, clammy hands, flitting eyes, you name it

Hyunjin is so frickin nervous about you meeting his parents oof

You don’t understand why, like hey, how bad could it be right?

But pretty soon you get why Jinnie was nervous

His parents aren’t that trusting within the first hour of knowing you

You guess it might be because of poor past experiences?

Maybe Hyunjin had been judged or dated once too many times just for his looks?

The thought is enough to make you swear by all you know to always treat him like a treasure

You also make a mental note to ask him sometime

Eventually, his parents realize you have pure intentions and they become so much kinder and warmer

They let you know how welcome you are to visit whenever you want, they offer to send you off with some homemade cookies...

And Hyunjin gets so emotional at the beautiful site in front of him that he bursts into tears

Which causes you and his parents to tease and hug him

if you’re thick, let’s just be clear that im making a statement on how you should NOT judge Jinnie purely because he’s good looking, appreciate his talent!

Now, Hyunjin is kinda tall compared to the rest of SKZ hah im joking of course so it’s pure instinct to want to steal his shirts

Don’t lie, if you had the chance, you would take something i see right thru u

And at some point in your life, you stop realizing ‘hey, this isn’t my jumper!’ and just walk around in clothes that aren’t yours

And when this happens, three things follow:

You see a wild Hyunjin crashing through the apartment towards you, yelling happily that ‘that’s my favorite hoodie!!’ he tries to act like he’s angry and fails in 0.0000003 sec

He doesn’t slow down and freakin slams into you at full velocity, knocking you over or off anything you might be sitting on

He proceeds to tickle you mercilessly, until you either can’t breath and turn purple or until you commit an extreme act of violence in the name of self defense

Once this chaotic episode ends, most of the time with both of you are completely knackered and just lying on the floor

You both cool off by just cuddling and watching something on TV

Or reading something together!!!

I can totally see Hyunjin shoving one of his fav books in your face and insisting that you both take turns in reading aloud to each other

And you both react at the same time to shockers in the book, like you start crying together when a character dies who hasn’t had that traumatic experience or you both squeal with joy and hug each other tighter when something great happens

Did I just turn into a puddle of happy goo?

Yes I fuckin did.

I think Hyunjin wouldn’t take that long to tell you that he loves you

That doesn’t mean that he planned anything tho

HAH! Course he didn’t

Probs says it when he can barely think straight

Maybe you’re watching him dance late at night

You’d brought snacks to keep him going ‘cause he was working his ass off

And there you sit, marveling at his skill and fluidity while executing his choreo

You have a talent for hyping Hyunjin up while he dances, cheering when he leaps high into the air, gasping when he performs a complicated move, and aw-ing and his graceful poses ok im done now

When he finishes one of his more dramatic dances, you jump up with glee and tackle him in a hug despite him being sweaty, saying how proud you are

He hugs you back happily and says:

“I should be the proud one, having someone I love so much being so supportive of me”.

You both freeze, still hugging each other

And neither of you move or breathe for a moment

“What did you say?”

“UhhhHHHH NOTHING I SAID NOTHING”

“You said that you love me!”

“WAT NO I DIDN’T I-”

“HYUNJIN I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!”

“N- wait what?”

“I love you, dumbass” same tho

Oof that poor practice room has seen a lot of awkwardness

I’m cracking up just by thinking of how hopeless Hyunjin could become when SKZ are away

“Hey do you guys have a signal and/or data? I wanna Skype y/n and show them the beautiful view”.

*all of SKZ facepalms*

Always taking pictures to show you

In the evenings, you get a frickin cascade of notifications of both photos and messages from the poor boy telling you he misses you like crazy

When Skyping, he asks to see Khami, who you have the pleasure of caring for during his absence

You do question (mentally and then verbally) whether he calls to talk to you or his dog

He never answers the question heh

There’s lowkey a competition between you and Khami for Hyunjin’s affection

When the boys make their flight home, Hyunjin keeps you informed about everything that’s happening

I mean everything:

Jiiniie<3: we’re @ the airport :D     -6h ago

Jiiniie<3: waiting to board!     -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: they’re getting ready to go, i can’t wait to see you!! xxx      -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: will text you when we arrive, love!     -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: JUST LANDED! CANT WAIT TO HUG U     -31mins ago

Jiiniie<3: about to get our luggage!     -Just now

You get the point -_-

When you finally see each other, he runs at top speed to pick you up and spins you around

frickin goals man i feel so sad writing this :,)

He goes public in probably the most aesthetic way that’s physically possible

He posts a bunch of gorgeous photos-

Courtesy of Jisung

-of your silhouettes in front of sunsets

-Pics he took of you laughing during a cafe trip

-Bomb-ass selcas where you’re both lookin hella fine

Just

UGGHHH

SO! AESTHETIC!!!

Naturally, the internet freaks the fuck out

Both of you are kinda nervous about the explosive reaction

There are salty bitches who are telling you to piss off because they jelly

But the huge majority of Stay are crying with happiness and wishing you both well

this better happen in the future im watching all of u

And soon Hyunjin is talking about you on vLives, proud af because y/n freakin rules!

OhmyGod I love Hyunjin

Damn my heart be like < HYUNJIN 3 phew

[fourthwingingit]

Two

Edit: tumblr didnt post my edits from my original post (like you know when you save something as a draft and go oh wait there are some errors like no header and awkward phrasing lemme fix them) so im gonna repost this eventually but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit 2: tumblr sucks and never lets me put the thing so... This is for the anon who requested a fic of touch starved clark and conner with the prompts 'nobodys ever done that to me before' and 'i just want to be held' sorry it got angstier then i ment it to.... hope you like hurt comfort

Clark hovered awkwardly outside the door to conners room. He was nervous about seeing the teen with everything between them and what he wanted to ask him.

He took a breath. Conner almost certainly knew he was there already. But that didnt matter.

Ma always said that manners matter

He knocked.

From inside came a muffled, annoyed, and clipped

"What is it clark?"

Taking that as the best invitation he was going to get he opened the door and went in.

He looked at conner. The kid was on his bed, facedown on top of the covers like an angsty teen in a movie.

Clark thought he looked too small for the position he was in. Like he was waiting for some blow that was going to take a part of him with it to land... or like it already had and he was cradling a hole

Clark shook off the disturbing thought and steeled himself. He swiftly walked to Conner's bedside, and said, eloquently,

"Well. I... you see...... uh... lois- i mean to say..... uhh"

Lord this was already going to hell in a handbasket.

Conner turned his head enough to raise one eyebrow

"What the hell was that?"

He sat down a respectful distance away (as far away as he could) and tried again

"Hmm... you see i uhh- hmm you know how uhh.... things umm. Sometimes.... uhh"

Conner slowly turned his head the rest of the way to clark, confusion now written in every line in his body. great.

Clarks back bowed fast. Like his head gained 20 pounds in a half a second, his arms planted themselves on his knees and he gave up trying... he'd try again some other day. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe lois should do it.... Kal-el you coward.

"I... i dont know, ive got nothing."

But now he was scrambling, he needed a reason for being here. And what came out was;

"Ma told me shes uhh, seen you acting in a... less than..... ideal...... kind of.... way.?"

"Wow."

"No yeah i heard it"

"That was some next level awkward," and there was some distinct venom in that voice shoot. "if its that hard to be around me then you can find the door. I certainly dont need your pity handouts anyway."

Well.... shit

"No thats not.... im.... i wanted to ask- uh... whats been bothering you..... sport."

He now had what bruces kids called The Awkward White Man Smile... great.

Suprisingly, Conner chuckled.

Maybe a small part of Clark's brain said its not hopeless?

"Right now? Your social skills."

Banter! He hung around batman! He could do banter.

"Aww man and here i was thinking i was handing out winning lines."

"Oh no, youve gone senile a little early, well... maybe not early... good thing you've got Kara."

There was a small smirk playing at conners lips and an actual opportunity. God was real and he loved Clark Kent.

"At least I know I have two good boys to pick me up after im down." He looked away fast.

Silence stretched on

.......

Awkwardly

Oh lord he messed up the moment

He presumed too much and their only friendly interaction in over a month is ruined

"Two?"

The voice Conner used was so painfully soft and small. Like it didnt dare to hope anymore and had stopped trying a long time ago.

Clark never was good at leaving voices like that alone. And he was always more comfortable when something needed doing anyways.

Superman courage steadied him enough to take a risk.

He reached out his hand, and ruffled Conner's hair, trailing his fingers down after to rest on the shoulder closest to him and said.

"I have two kids dont i?"

More silence

Conner was frozen beneath his fingertips

He panicked

Oh god

He had fucked it up

He had fucked up enough times that conner didn't want anything to do with him

Okay damage control

"That is...." Conner stiffened further "if i haven't been so horrible to my eldist that he doesnt want anything to do with me"

The silence was now so deep he could hear the dust motes brushing against everything

He heard a tiny sniffle

And then he telltale sound of tears hitting bedsheets.

His head whipped around, his glasses flew off somewhere into the room. He barely noticed.

Shocked, he started to speak but Conner cut him off before he could finish the first syllable.

"You know when i was in Hawaii i used to watch families. Specifically parents and children. I'd be so jealous of-"

Conner cut himself off.

"Nobody's ever- i mean...... parents do that to their kids.... the hair touching thing.... Nobody's ever-" his voice broke, he cleared it. "Nobody's ever even tried to touch my hair if we werent kissing."

He gave a pitiful, watery laugh and, after a breif, stunned, pause, started rambling about how "of course i get it cut, like, the barber touches it and stuff..."

And it all hit clark.

Somehow it had never occured to Clark, that even though Conner looked like he was so much older than Jon, he wasnt.

He wondered who raised him

Who fed him

Who hugged him through nightmares

Clarks heart broke

Because he was certain the answer to most of those kinds of questions was 'Conner' and none of them were "Kal-el" or "Clark Kent"

Clark turned a bit and ran his hand over Conner's back softly, cutting off his rambling and said in a voice that was somehoe warm but still felt guilty and mourning;

"What do you want? What can I do?"

Conner was stunned. Kal had never given him anything like this. So he kept talking to give his brain time to catch up.

"I don.... i- i used to watch families... in- in Hawaii, and I'd get jealous of the kids, that they got to have families. Got to have parents. I dont..."

Clark turned a little to properly face his son and grabbed his hand.

"What can i do Conner?"

One day ago Conner would have asked for a lot. To never see Kal again, the superman title, his spot in the JL, even some time with Jon. But now?

Conner shifted, he sat up as best he could. And guided Kals hand to the side of his face, through tear tracks, held it there for a second, and then slid it into his hair. All thr while leaning into it like it was the only support he needed.

"I just want to be held.... without expectations..... without titles or rules or anything in return."

Connor wouldnt meet his eyes, or look up from the bedspread during his request.

For the second time that day Clark's heart broke. But now he had something he could do.

He reached out with his other hand, guiding his son into his arms, and gently layed them down

He kept one hand on the back of Conner's head, stroking the strands there. And one hand on Conner's back slowly moving back and forth.

From the first point of contact, Conner's world narrowed to the hand Kal had put on him. And now, there was more. Now he was allowed to reach out. He wanted to get closer. To bury his face in Kals chest and curl up small. To let the world fall away around them. Until nothing existed but them. Holding each other forever.

Kal seemed to read his mind, and guided his head to tuck itself under his chin and pressed them closer together.

No promises, no strings, no obligations after.

He could leave whenever he wanted.

He wanted to stay forever.

Conner wondered breifly what was like to be held by a father. If it felt as nice as this. Like everything crashed in on him, but it was okay.

Maybe, he thought.

They had a maybe.

And this maybe was a lot of ground to stand on.

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long. 

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film. 

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that. 

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer. 

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere. 

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird. 

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt. 

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now. 

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time. 

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game. 

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away. 

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that. 

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is. 

Darth Maul is awesome. 

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip. 

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves. 

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff. 

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her? 

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users. 

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it. 

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates. 

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon. 

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying. 

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that? 

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar.  #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist. 

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate. 

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff. 

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other. 

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise? 

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad. 

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier. 

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point. 

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt. 

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him. 

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff. 

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist. 

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code. 

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine? 

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl. 

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting. 

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?” 

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus. 

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET. 

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy. 

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though. 

My vote went to Bail Antilles. 

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely. 

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool. 

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination. 

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright. 

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film? 

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice. 

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol. 

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing. 

I also love the giant bubble shields. 

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass. 

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit. 

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit. 

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP. 

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it? 

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely. 

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage. 

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point. 

Yoda’s already soooo old. 

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut. 

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit. 

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator. 

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want.  Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all. 

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

more poly jeremy and michael please!!!! maybe a roadtrip or something idc i just really love ur writing hehe

oh hell yea

im just gonna do headcanons for rn but maybe eventually ill write this as a fic

inspired by the fact i May or May Not be going to disneyworld for a few days this summer ;)))

so its the final few weeks of senior year right

and idk lets just say ur all going to separate colleges but ur gonna make it work

so its just. the three of u sitting in michaels basement, the usual spot, with u lying across their laps just havin a good time (havin a good time), ignoring the struggles from graduation practice that morning because ugh

you three are just. all watching movies n chillin together, havin a lil night in rather than wandering the town Again (which basically means y’all end up in the mall before going to get fast food n then crashing in michaels basement)

and its just gotten quiet for a bit and maybe the topic of a roadtrip comes up in the movie

and all of a sudden u just feel michael, whos been leaning into the couch pretty heavily, sit straight up

and u look up

“you good?” “we should take a roadtrip.”

jeremy and u both exchange a look

“what” “cmon!!! we should take a roadtrip together before summers over.”

“where?” 

michael goes silent

“disney world?”

aw fuck he got u there. disney world is fuckin dope.

“… with what money?” “aw, c’mon - we’ve all been working. plus my moms will definitely pitch in since they love you nerds.”

jeremy, whos been typing something into his phone for the past like 30 seconds: orlandos a 16 hour drive

“so we’ll take turns! we each drive for like.. five hours.”

“disneys really expensive, michael.”

he just kinds. frowns a lil bit w a soft “okay”

u and jeremy exchange yet another look

“i can ask my dad if he can help out…” jeremy starts. its just 2 against 1 now.

u sigh and sit up, “i guess ill talk to mine too.”

michaels immediately fuckin excited again

i like to imagine you and jeremy both have jobs while michael Doesnt bc his moms make pretty fuckin good money and he just hasnt had the need to like. Do That.

so its just. ok guess we’ll save as much as we fuckin can.

long story short, through the miracle of your parents all agreeing to help out where they can, you all save money n get disney tickets asap and figure things out

it turns from “lets just drive 16 hours in one day, pass out in a hotel, and then go to disney” to “maybe we should stop somewhere and sleep after like. 10 hours.” to “nah man we can handle it.” 

and basically: y’all literally leave early in the morning so that you can get to the hotel at a reasonable time, maybe grab some food, and then pass the fuck out

michael probs drove the most out of the three of you - his car, his idea, he might as well take the most

leaving u and jeremy to basically dj the entire trip

haha jokes on y’all the trip took longer than the 16 and a half that google projected for y’all bc… stops for food n bathroom breaks and stuff.

good thing y’all absolutely left at like 2 am lmao

u three get to the hotel n honestly michael probably passes out the moment he hits the mattress

u and jeremy just. look at each other, exhausted

before deciding

yeah we’ll just. eat in the morning

insert y’all getting ready for sleepy times and accidentally waking up michael

which leads to a fuckin DOPE cuddle session between the three of u before y’all fall asleep

michael? absolutely giddy abt disney. big mood bro.

im gonna skim some details before this gets too long but

y’all take. so many pictures w characters

and so many pictures in general

jeremy 100% goes into dad mode and is like “hey - hey, go stand over there i wanna get a pic of u” every now and then

“jeremy ur being a dad” “no im not!” 

michael voice dude you totally are

theres a rly cute selfie of the three of u with mickey ears on

its someones bg. maybe all three of urs.but its definitely Someones.

its just a rly goofy trip filled with y’all collecting signatures and having a blast together

combined with soft nights of the three of you cuddling and giggling over the events of the day 

and also ranting abt how expensive disney is bc jfc

the drive back is the worst experience bc y’all just. dont wanna fuckin leave 

bc disney is… so good y’all

theres so many pics on ur instagram n snapchat

of just the three of you being so so so happy

and its just!!! so good.

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 6

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count:  2.7k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday and Sunday 

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

Thanks to my new lovely beta @thatphatdanussy who has already begun making some great edits to this monstrosity of a fic lol 

Almost as if time didn’t exist, Tuesday came. Phil doesn’t quite remember how the past four days had gone by other than he spent majority of them with Spike on his couch or working on his computer on his assignment.

But somehow, Tuesday came, and suddenly, it was infinitely more real that he was going to be showing Daniel Howell around London. To say he was nervous was a total understatement.

Phil was borderline sick from nerves.

He didn’t sleep at all Monday night, and when he did manage to sleep, he somehow found himself waking up every twenty minutes or so feeling like he was going to be sick. He eventually resorted to getting up and taking a few melatonin pills before collapsing back into bed, at least a little bit more drowsy this time.

His alarm woke him up at half past eight and he slowly began to get up, despite his body’s protests to remain glued to his bed. He quickly showered, brushed his teeth, and put in his contacts before he checked his phone and saw a message from Daniel.

Daniel Howell: good morning my manager is saying that I should get to the BBC as stealthily as possible so im sadly already here ill be waiting just inside the doors.

Phil sighed. He knew that Dan had just told him not to hurry, but now he felt like he had to hurry up so he didn’t keep him waiting. They were supposed to meet at the BBC at around 10 and it was only a little after 9 now.

Phil quickly made himself an instant coffee to go and said his goodbyes to Spike before rushing out of his flat and down to the nearest tube station.

When he arrived at the BBC, it was a quarter to 10 and Phil honestly thought that the timing could be worse. But he was super relieved to not see the fangirls situated around the BBC anymore and having it look like normal. Phil was happy to see it as it’s normal building and not a mob of police tape and teenagers.

He walked inside, scanning his badge as he did so, and made his way towards the only area he could think of that Dan would be in. He turned a corner, and sitting directly in one of the lounge chairs was Daniel Howell, sitting with his legs crossed. He was wearing a pair of tight black ripped jeans, and even though he was donning a very expensive looking jacket, Phil could just barely make out a fuzzy black sweater underneath.

He looked down at himself and frowned as he noticed that maybe his red and white striped shirt and jean jacket wasn’t the best choice. But he shook his head and tried to not be self-conscious around Daniel.

Daniel was a movie star and probably a multimillionaire. He shouldn’t be comparing their outfit choices.

Daniel spotted him nearly immediately and looked up, flashing Phil another one of his dazzling smiles. On the right of Dan, Phil could see a massive guy stood with his arms folded over his chest. And just the other way, there was a short woman who was sitting in a chair next to him.

Dan stands up, and the man and woman follow suit. Phil suddenly feels intimidated, but forces a smile anyway.

“Hey!” Dan says with a smile again. “This is Joshua.” He points to the large man who just barely raises his hand in a calm gesture. “And this is my manager Marianne.” He points to the woman. “Please don’t be intimidated by them. They wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Joshua grumbles and Phil feels his stomach sink. He definitely can see that Joshua is not one to mess around with. “If you say so,” Phil laughs cautiously.

Joshua chuckles to himself and Phil suddenly feels like he wants to collapse onto the floor and cry. But he won’t, obviously. So he chuckles a little bit―albeit awkwardly, and then extends his hand out in some haphazard form of a greeting. Dan raises an eyebrow and then extends his hand and they make contact for a brief second as Dan’s hand slots a little bit too easily into Phil’s.

His hand is warm, and soft. But it’s also gentle and strong at the same time. Phil doesn’t know why he notices this, but he does. And when they let go, he misses the feeling of it in his hand.

He shakes the thought away.

This was Daniel Howell. He can find him attractive but this little...crush...wasn’t going to do. He needed to shake the thought now.

“Are you ready to get going?” Phil asks Dan.

Dan nods quickly. “Yes! Do you fancy we could stop somewhere quickly for food? I’m quite starved.”

Phil was taken completely back by the natural, posh, London accent Dan spoke in.When he’d read about Dan online, he thought for sure Dan’s accent would be much more Americanized but in a way, his accent was more British than Phil’s. It was quite amazing.

“Oh, of course!” Phil said, his own coffee having gone cold in his hand. “We can go anywhere really. There are a few Gregg’s around and also some Starbucks. I also think there’s a Costa around here too.”

“We can just go to Starbucks.” Dan says with a shrug. “I’m not really too picky. I’m not much of a coffee drinker but I’ll take some tea and maybe a cake.”

“Okay!” Phil’s trying so hard to not be awkward about this. “It’s right down the street.”

Dan smiles at him and then they set off.

Phil watches as Dan says something to Marianne and she remains in her place, unmoving as they leave. Joshua is trailing behind them by a good few feet. But that still makes Phil feel a little bit on edge, knowing his every move was being watched.

They were fine walking on the streets as not many people were around on an early Tuesday morning. But once they stepped foot inside of Starbucks, it was over.

Phil kind of―well, not kind of, he did expect this―knowing he was going to be out in the open with Dan all day but he was prepared for the exact level of madness it was going to be.

Daniel had barely walked up to the counter when people started rushing to be around him. Phil could see people trying to take photos of him and try to hide the fact that they were doing so. He saw people immediately typing on phones and worse yet, he could see people staring at him. People were staring him down like he was an enemy.

Well, maybe to some people he was. He’d seen some of the not-so-nice things people wrote about him when people saw that Dan had followed him. He’d repressed those tweets, but he still remembered them. He could only imagine what was going to happen now.

“We can go somewhere else.” Phil says, his voice cutting through the air.

Dan shook his head and flashed a smile that Phil could see was obviously forced. “No, it’s gonna happen no matter where we go today.”

Phil gave a sad nod and watched as Dan tried to place an order while the barista was clearly having a major fangirl attack behind the till. He felt bad, in a way, for both of them. He felt like he shouldn’t but he did.

Dan eventually had his order placed and he paid quickly with what Phil could see was a black credit card and he immediately felt his face flush. But he moved quickly in line, placed his order for a tall chai tea, paid and moved on.

Joshua moved with Dan so Dan wasn’t in any danger by being in here. Phil was pretty sure Joshua would tackle any person who even dared to get near Dan. But that didn’t stop Phil from worrying.

He shouldn’t be worrying. Dan was probably used to this.

“Daniel!”

Dan’s head shot up and Phil watched as he quickly grabbed his order and then flashed a smile at Phil again and he and Joshua retreated quickly out of the door. Phil grabbed his order next and thanked the barista who was clearly still star struck. And then he left as well.

Dan was standing off the side of the shop, trying to mask himself into the building. Joshua was stood on guard around him as Dan slowly opened his Starbucks order and took a bite of whatever sandwich he was getting.

“Sorry about that.” Dan says once he’s swallowed the bite. “It’s going to happen no matter where we go today. It’s not something I can escape, sadly.”

“I’m sorry.” Phil spits out. “I’m sorry that you go through that.”

Dan shrugs. “Comes with the job, right?”

Phil tries to ignore the clear and present sadness that is laced in Dan’s words and he’s suddenly feeling extremely bad about all that he’s said about Dan to PJ and even Gemma and some other coworkers.

The first place that Phil decides to take them is the London Eye. They hail down a cab and they all get into it as the driver takes them to Westminster. Dan sits besides Phil on the bucket seat while Joshua sits across from them his arms folded.

When Dan caught Phil staring at Joshua, he chuckled. “I promise he’s not actually mean.”

“Has he ever had to tackle somebody?” Phil asks, his voice aa whisper.

Dan nods and takes a sip of his hot drink. “Multiple times.”

Phil sputters and Dan laughs again.

The laugh is almost angelic and Phil really wishes he could hear more of it.

They get to the London Eye and Phil takes them over to buy tickets. When he offers to pay for them both, Dan waves him off and shoves his card it the cashier instead.

“I was the one who asked you to take me around London. The least you can do is let me pay for some of the expenses.”

Phil blushes. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure!” Dan announces quickly as he grabs the three tickets and gives one to Phil.

They’re almost about to get in line when they’re being ushered by workers to go into an advanced line. Phil can almost see the pain in Dan’s face at knowing he was being treated differently due to his status but he didn’t deny the offer.

They made it to the front of the line before anyone else and they were given their own pod to ride in on the eye. Once inside, the doors shut, Dan walked over to the glass windows and looked out.

“I never got to experience London.” He says softly. “Even as a kid. I lived so close to here but my family never brought me or my brother here. I’ve been here for films but I’m normally so booked that I don’t even have time to go look around.”

Phil stands beside him and looks at him. He looks gorgeous in these lights. His brown hair is perfectly styled and curled. His cheeks are a perfect shade of rosey red. His eyes are gleaming but dark, like honey.

For the first time since Phil has seen Dan since meeting for the first time on set, he can see how stunning Dan is. Dan is stunning. He’s gorgeous.

And Phil is totally fucked.

“Is that Big Ben?” Dan breaks through the silence to point at the large tower in the distance.

“Yes it is.” Phil says, letting his clouded mind clear. “But it’s under construction right now so you can’t see any of it.”

“That’s a shame.” Dan says. “I’ve always heard about the bells.”  

“It’s been weird,” Phil says, a small smile on his lips, “no longer hearing the bells in London.”

“How long have you lived in London for?” Dan asks, turning his back to the window now and resting his weight against the rail.

“8 years now.”

“8  years?!” Dan exclaims.

Phil nods. “Been working at the BBC for almost all ten as well.”

‘That’s mad.” Dan laughs. “I haven’t lived in the same house in the past 5 years for more than ten months, let alone 8 years. I’ve been having to move so often because fans keep finding my address.”

Phil furrows his brows and lets the smile he was showing all from his lips. “Your fans find your address?”

Dan nods, his expression solemn. “Nothing of mine is private anymore, Phil.” His voice is sad. “I can guarantee that if you go onto Twitter right now, headlines are already making waves that ‘Daniel Howell was spotted in Starbucks with mysterious man’. They never give up.”

“Is it hard?”

“Is what hard?”

“Is it hard being famous like you are?”

Phil doesn’t know why he asks that, but he does.

Dan shrugs. “In a way yeah.” He says. “It’s an interesting lifestyle but...”

The eye starts to slow down and when Phil looks, he can see they’re already beginning their descent back down.

Nothing more is said. It’s quiet and deafening and when the doors open, a mob of people and paparazzi are waiting. Phil isn’t prepared for the complete onslaught of cameras and phones and flashes to be thrown into his face until suddenly their is a hand resting on his arm, tugging him away.

When he looks down, his heart races as he sees Dan grabbing his jacket and trying to get him out of the mob of people. A car is waiting for them and Joshua immediately runs and opens the door just as soon as Dan jumps in and Phil follows.

Joshua climbs in with them and as they look, there are fans running for the car. Some are even running to try to climb on the car. But they’re driving off and away.

When Phil looks over to Dan beside him, ready to thank him for yanking him out of the mob, he notices that Dan’s eyes are glassy. He’s about to speak up when he sees a tear leak down Dan’s cheek and Phil feels the hurt. He feels that pain, even if it’s for a second. Because this lifestyle is...well it appears to be shit.

And suddenly, Phil gets it.

***

Phil sees all of the tweets and headlines before he goes to bed that night.

“DANIEL HOWELL SEEN WITH MYSTERIOUS MAN AFTER FINISHING FILMING MOVIE IN LONDON.”

“DANIEL HOWELL’S NEW BEAU? WE’VE GOT THE EXCLUSIVE PICTURES.”

“WHO IS THE MAN PICTURED WITH DANIEL HOWELL?”

Phil feels quite sick looking at them.

He also feels quite sick knowing that his day was cut short because of them. The driver had taken them back to the BBC following the awful fan encounter and Dan apologized profusely when he exclaimed he wasn’t feeling well and would like to return back to his hotel.

Phil didn’t argue. He saw the tears on Dan’s face when they stepped out of the car from when he silently wept after what had happened. Phil would never ask him about it.

He also saw the tweets from Dan that followed.

@danielhowell: I’ve said this more than once but please do not follow me. I appreciate you all so much but it’s not okay to follow me around. (1)

@danielhowell: also please do not follow my car once I get into it. It’s not only unsafe for you, but it’s unsafe for me as well. Please know that your safety means the world to me and that’s not okay (2).

to@danielhowell:

@softdaniel: was that the amazingphil guy that you were pictured with in London???

to@softdaniel:

@yasmin__road: it has to be! The photos of the guy lined up with the same guy Dan just followed on Insta! I bet it’s a secret relationship.

to@yasmin__road

@danielhowell: phil is just a friend but I would appreciate it if you left him out of tweets like this. Thank you.

Phil read though more of them and eventually shut his phone off.