#i mean i kinda get what's happening. ive been taking notes but i don't know if they're working

[lycandrophile]

sorry about the out of nowhere ask but i thought id note something minor ive seen around: a lot of the time (especially on reddit) theres a lot of positivity for specifically trans women, and very little for trans men. and if a trans man/transmasc person tries to comment on that they get ridiculed for it. but then if someone posts transmasc positivity at all, people in the comments of that post will talk about how there "isnt enough positivity for trans women" despite the fact that most of the positivity posted is for trans women. i dont know, just something weird (it could also just be because reddit is kinda really different, environment-wise, but considering theres been similar things pretty much. everywhere else. yeah)

i do think a lot of this has to do with demographics – from what i've seen, reddit tends to have more trans women than trans men, so it doesn't surprise me to see more posts that are geared toward trans women there.

tl;dr because this got super long: people are right to say that there isn't enough positivity for trans women, but there also isn't enough for trans men. the fact that so many of us are ridiculed for trying to put more out there is the real problem.

at the end of the day, there really isn't enough positivity for any trans people because most of the world either hates us or wants to forget we exist. we have our little pockets of community where we support each other and lift each other up, but until the rest of society gets on board, it'll never be enough. so even in spaces where there's more positivity for trans women than for trans men, they're absolutely right to say there isn't enough positivity for trans women! and that's why i don't inherently have a problem with spaces like that – trans joy and positivity is always a good thing and always needed, and spreading that for part of the community doesn't take away from the rest of the community, it just means there's some of us are bit closer to getting the kind of love and support they deserve than they were before, and that's a good thing! you can't make everything for everyone, but if we all work at lifting each other up, eventually it'll all balance out and we'll all be better off for it. so if you happen to find a space that's for all trans people but tends to be more geared toward trans women when it comes to positivity, instead of getting caught up in how much positivity for trans women is already there, i think the best thing to do is to add positivity for trans men! we're the ones who lift each other up, so if we see a gap in the support, we're the ones with the power to step in and fill that gap.

and i can honestly understand why trans women in those spaces might get defensive or upset if someone points out the amount of positivity for trans women as if it's a bad thing, even if what that person is actually trying to say is just that they wish there was more for trans men too. i can't really blame anyone for that defensiveness because i feel the exact same way when people point out the amount of positivity for trans men&mascs here as if it's a bad thing, even though i know a lot of them are really just expressing in an imperfect way that they wish there was more for other trans people as well. wanting to defend those sources of joy in a world that offers us so few of them is only natural.

now, all of that being said, what i absolutely DO have a problem with is when that defensiveness gets to the point of attacking trans men's efforts to add positivity for ourselves as well. it perpetuates these false ideas that 1) there's only a finite amount of trans joy that can be expressed and we have to fight over it, and 2) trans men are currently hoarding that finite resource and are obligated to give it up entirely so that other trans people have a chance at getting it. obviously, both of those statements are deeply untrue – one part of the community getting support doesn't take anything away from other trans people because we should all be aiming for more support and positivity, not just redistributing the inadequate amount we currently have to more "worthy" subjects, and it's impossible to quantify how much support each part of the community gets because that's so dependent on the individual spaces you're looking at as well as what you're counting as support. and as much as i can understand feeling protective of our spaces, when that protectiveness leads us to turn on each other and push each other out of spaces that were supposed to be for all of us, that's taking it way too far.

and i also do think there's an attitude in a lot of trans spaces (and in more general queer/feminist/leftist/activist spaces) that trans men are a more acceptable target for that kind of ridicule because we're men and people in those spaces tend to already be very settled into this idea that there's never a bad time to tell men to sit down and shut up, even when the men in question are marginalized and trying to fight against their own oppression. if someone says "ugh there's too much positivity for trans women here," that's going to be met with a lot of people (rightfully) saying "hey, what the hell, man, that's super transmisogynistic." but if the same is said about trans men, those same people have no problem saying "i know, right? men love taking everything for themselves, it's the worst."

and that kind of attitude even extends to trans men simply creating positivity in spaces that don't have as much of it, even if they don't comment at all on the other kinds of positivity that might exist in that space. especially if we dare to add specific mentions of trans men onto an existing positivity post (which isn't actually a bad thing at all! adding more good to a good post doesn't take anything away from the original good!), we're met with a chorus of "wow, why do men always have to make everything about themselves, can't women have anything?" it's a perspective that groups us in with cis men as this privileged horde that talks over everyone else and seeks to dominate every space it enters, completely ignoring the fact that the image of loud domineering men they're invoking is based on cis(het white abled) men who've spent their whole lives being told they're the most important people in every room, which is very different from trans men who were brought up being taught to make ourselves small and be of service to more important people. they forget (or simply choose to ignore) that when we're loud about our needs and experiences and even our joy, it's not because taking up space was a practice passed down to us by our manhood, it's because we had to learn to be loud when we realized that staying quiet meant making it easier for the people who hate us to dispose of us without the rest of the world even noticing our absence.

all of that to say, i absolutely do think you've hit on a real issue here, i just don't think that issue actually has to do with the prevalence of positivity for trans women. it's a lot less about who gets more or less support in any given space, and a lot more about how those spaces react when the less represented groups start making their presence known. and yeah, a lot of trans spaces have some pretty damn awful reactions to trans men who literally just want to lift each other up and feel supported by our community in return.

[celestie0]

notes on kickoff ch.7

hellooo if you're here thank you for taking the interest! i just had some creative notes i wanted to get off my chest with the release of ch.7 lol i felt compelled to do so with this one i'm basically journaling here. you can read this after reading ch7 here!

I. on gojo's feelings

as for why didn't gojo just tell reader how he felt at the end of the chapter, and instead only says what he does. i think i rewrote this ending like five different times, he was never supposed to tell her at this point based on my story planning, but i did explore the idea of a dramatic confession here regardless, and it didn't fit for lots of different reasons for one, i think he's finally able to put himself in reader's shoes. it's true he's pretty dense and obviously has commitment issues/valid fears that keep him from opening up, but that still doesn't mean he hasn't hurt reader in a lot of different ways already. he realizes, whether intentionally or not, he's led her on and to do a complete turnaround within a few hours while she's already trying to process rejection as she is clearly withdrawn from him i believed would've been selfish on his part, and could possibly cause even more hurt over the fact that he could come off ingenuine. gojo is finally emotionally aware of her enough to recognize it, but he's not a perfect person so it still slips through that he's distraught at the thought of never seeing her again. in general i'm of the opinion that if someone asks for space, you respect that unless they say otherwise of note, just because he realizes that he has these feelings, doesn't necessary change his fears, as no single moment can undo years of trauma, so i think that's why he bites his tongue too. i'm not keen on making this a "woman fixes man" story but i moreso want to embrace the sentiment that you don't need to resolve every single bad thing that's ever happened to you in order to embrace love or happiness.

II. on gojo's commitment issues

i know it was brought up in the first gojo pov that he has issues committing to just one woman, but i wanted this chapter to reveal that it's really just his fear of opening up to people due to the still raw loss he feels of losing someone he loved. i aim with his pov to be more of a stream of his own consciousness rather than from an omniscient observer, which may explain the ambiguity. he's not sure if he's able to open up to a person in a way he knows is normal and healthy, so he settles on shallow connections instead. just wanted to clear this up, and say that it won't be any sort of plot point in which he struggles to be sincere or faithful when he seriously wants to commit to someone as he has no issues with that if he truly wants to be with them (unlike the whore he's been so far in the series lmao)

III. on strawberry vanilla soda

btw i've never had this flavor of soda i'm not even sure where i came up w it loool or if it even exists. i was kind of toying with the idea of gojo seeing reader's message on the can during the match, and that would maybe help him get more focused on the field (sooo sports romance cliche but i still love it haha) but i settled on him seeing it afterwards to kinda parallel the clumsiness he's had with reader so far. for some reason, the universe just doesn't want him to get his timing right with her lol

IV. on angst/conflict

i know ch7 was a bit differentttt less gojo x reader and more just gojo lmfao, it was also a bit angsty. it definitely won't stay angsty throughout the remaining chapters. this was just gojo's lore drop chapter LOL. there will still obviously be angst here and there, but i've got a lot of fun, cute, tense, silly, passionate, messy scenes still planned similar to ch5&6 because i prefer writing those kinds of scenes haha. ultimately this story was always meant to be a full-circle romance, so ch7 was to lay some of the emotional groundwork that gets brought up as the story builds to its climax

that's all i have to saayyy if you actually read this whole thing i love you?? lol. ch7 really emotionally resonated with me as i wrote it, both as someone who understands how gojo feels but also as someone who understands how reader feels, and if it resonated with you too then that makes me very happy and that's ultimately every writer's dream haha. was very cathartic to share these thoughts. i hope to see you in the next oneeee <3 have a wonderful rest of your day!

[kkbardd]

was your hand inside the box..😭? why were there wooden skewers in a box? i have so many questions yet so little answers..

also sorry for disappearing </3 school suddenly decided to get 5x harder and I have 0 time for anything but sleep

+ you are making me debate whether or not to watch jojo truly the best promoter of everything by just making it yuri-fied

omg isopod!!!! dw abt school stuff, im really busy myself for the same reason!

ok so ive been making this 1/4 bjd of an oc (the succubus i posted a while ago) as a side hobby lately. ill post pictures once i finish everything, but basically what happened was i needed to spray seal all the unstrung parts after blushing them. so i was taking a bunch of wooden kebab skewers and stabbing them into a cardboard box to hold up the parts in the air. (that way i can spray them while holding the skewers, not touching the sealant & have them dry in the air etc etc.) well of course while stabbing them into the box i got a little careless and did it with my arm over the previous skewers andddd... bam theres a skewer stuck in my hand! thank god it didnt go all the way through but it was about 1-2cm in and after pulling it out i had this huge hole in my right hand lol! afterwards (and still kinda now) I can't put much strength into it and it hurts if I do too much. i probably hit a nerve or something!

its crazy though bc a ton of other bad stuff happened right after (that's way too much to talk abt) but i ended up having to get IV's in both my wrists at the EC which made my hands even more unusable 😔 I'm doing way better now but bc of all that, the skewer incident really became the least of my worries!

I am always a promoter of jojo!!!!! its so funny you say that though, because i had the exact same interaction w my best friend who's also a lesbian. (she was the one i spent 50 mins in voice notes explaining the plot of part 4 just with the change that kira's a lesbian now LOL) if u love yuri and wanna get into jojo i STRONGLY recommend part 6!! its prison lesbians!! you really don't need to watch the previous parts to watch it, most of everything u can pick up on by context clues. it's my absolute favorite part, and the way women are written in it is really good!! i got my friend on it and she loves it despite knowing nothing of jojo before.

i love jojo so much but i must say that especially in the early parts, the women are either nonexistent or badly written. its only when you get to part 6 that they get fully fleshed out (and really well i gotta add)! but even despite that i really really love jojo for all that it is!! its such a unique show and you get so many unique and interesting moments that u really can't see anywhere else. i mean who else has a plotline where u have to fight vincent van goh made from a stand called bohemian rhapsody!? its crazy! (and ofc just know that jojo is a fighting show first n foremost, so while there can be some subcontext that makes people ship characters, there's not that much actual romance, much less queer romance between characters to speak of ☝😌)

i would definitely recommend part 6 if you wanna see strong, complex female characters with an amazing plotline. and if u like mystery with a patrick bateman-type villain, part 4 is still really fun to watch (ESPECIALLY if you watch it while imagining kira as a lesbian <33 )

[mooniladragon]

page 4028. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

frog cancer...?

alright guys. I'm finally gonna do it. I'm gonna read homestuck.

..in like 8 hours because the asset pack for the unofficial collection won't be done downloading eyesore I go to school.

[alaydabug2]

I'm in the car and I'm bored en

SO HERES A LIST OF MY MEDICAL ISSUES IVE HAD THROUGHOUT LIFE 😃

Vaugly related to my fanfic

Tetrology of Fallot (tof): congenital (born with it) heart defect that is basically 4 defects in 1 (I do not have the energy to look up or type all those scientific words rn so sorry)

I've had 3 open heart surgeries to fix it o e at 8 days 10 months and 5 years

Died 6 times on the second one 😃

Ngl life isn't too different with it

If you don't count the yearly doctor visits and can't play contact sports

I mean there's more to it that that obviously but it's mainly small things like getting out of breath quicker and I bruise easy because of having to take baby asprin

BUT the doctors ORIGINALLY said I was never gonna be able to walk or talk or do anything for myself

God vetoed that decision 😌

NOW I NEVER SHUT UP 😁

Got a nifty battle scar down my chest as a souvenir ☺️

And I used to be called smurf baby cause I turned blue alot

I make jokes about it now (hush I'm allowed to )

Ngl pretty sure I'm short cause failure to thrive as a baby cause of that 😭

Don't think there's any scientific backing on that tho for tof patients

Imperferated anus + colostomy bag: basically means I was born without a butthole

Not even joking on that i wasnt

But had to have three gastrointestinal surgeries from that

Don't know the ages or many details but I'm pretty sure I was two for the last one

And I had to have a colostomy bag

Thankfully don't remember it

Buy my waste went into a bag that had to be changed out

Ik it got infected so the scar is bugger than it should be

Seizures: if you've read my fanfic that's explained in detail for how it feels

But that was from aged 5-10

We never found the specific reasons for it

But we do hypothesize it has something tk do with possible scar tissue on my brain

Either from a heart attack/stroke/lack of oxygen from my second heart surgery is what we think it could be from

During a seizure my heart would start beating weird (not good description ik but idk how to describe it really) and my vision would start to tunnel out my tongue would tingle and then I'd black out

During a seizure I couldn't hear anything or see anything but my head would completely start to tingle

From my parents I was told during them I would stiffen up and lock my joints and almost seem to hyperventilate

It was control moderately well by medicine but I thankfully do not have them anymore

Hard hearing: im not like deaf or anything nor do I use hearing aids but my hearing isn't what it should be for a normal teenager lol

This is because during one of my heart surgeries they gave me a drug used on horses and a little too much if it at that (ketamine?)

Legally blind: yeah come to find out last year found out my eye sight is actual crap

Without my glasses I am legally blind

I've got 20/200 vision 😭

So I've got these crazy thick glasses now

Tourretts: neurological disorder where I make these random noises and movents

Got diagnosed back in sixth grade

My tics ate ill make various sounding noises (all kinda of variations of a hiccup for visualization) and my head will jerk back

It was awful before we found out what it was

Got picked on for it quite a bit and a certain teacher of mine essentially told me "just stop bro lol" and I'd get sent out of class for it even after we had doctor notes for it

Just get up out of that wheel chair then then buddy ☺️

They'd get set off my certain things

Music being one of them so I would carry around these earbuds when there was music around so it didn't get set off

I'm on medicine now for it and it's a LOT better

And a recent development (in the past 6 months) I've been able to listen to music again!

The tourretts aren't going away tho

If over been without medicine for more than 2 days it's BAD

Ovarian cyst (possible pcos?) : this has happened over this summer so you already got some rants on that lol

Buy I've got an 8cm cyst on my left ovary

Hurts like a beach 😃

In fact this Friday I was holed up in my room hyped up on narcotics cause of it

Fun stuff 🙂

Surgery is supposed to be on October 5th so we'll see how that goes

Yeah so medical history of mine 😃

That's fine

We'll see what comes next to the collection I can add

Also here's some pics of a couple of my scars (that I can show several are in places I'm not keen of people seeing 😅)

That's my colostomy scar

And near the top you can see a scar from a chest tube from my third heart surgery

And here's a really good picture of my heart surgery scar that I have (goes down to under the ribcage)

On my neck you can see a breathing tube scar

At least I think that's what it is

Also the corner of my lip I have a scar from some sort of tube from surgery (can't see it well on camera

Tbh idk what half these tiny scars are from

I just know they're remnants of surgery

Any way I do know kw I have a couple of other chest tube scars

But they are not in places to be shown

Same with a few dimples near my tail bone from gastrointestinal surgery

But those are there too

[ohshy]

Feelin kinda down so fuck it- how about some burnt bread hcs if you got any?

If not, how about disco kid?

~ fan-mans

hope u feel better soon bro ! also HELL YEAH BURNT BREAD !!!!!!!! one of my favorites :3

so where does it all begin? well.... (under the cut bc its Long)

aran didnt actually have to use any of dirty tricks to take joe down, so they didn't start off on that bad of a foot, or a bad foot at all. (fighting is par for the course for this sport, of course.)

that being said though, you still see n hear things ab eachother, and have assumptions as a result. Aran initally sees joe as a snobby, wimpy man, and joe aran as a scary, unpredictable brute.

eventually, however, aran starts looking at joe... a little differently. he pranks him a lot because yknow. its funny. but joe doesnt seem to mind it at all... in fact, he takes his pranks really well, and it makes aran see strong joe is in a way and how much of a sense of humor he has.

joe at the other hand, noticed that aran, outside the ring, was actually fairly tame, outside of his pranks of course. it helped a lot with mellowing his perception of him. combine this joe's many hobbies and aran's try-everything attitude, and youve got the start of a click !

news of their little budding relationship spreads around the minor- and world circuit, and kaiser begins to take notice ab how joe talks ab aran, how hed normally b horrified at the prospect of him being anywhere NEAR him.

so one day, in all his eternal german grace, he says...

''well if you love him so much, why don't you two kiss, hm?''

and joe hadnt gotten that thought out of his head since.

as for disco kid hcs, ive already told most of them so ill talk ab how the minor circuit reacted to joe wanting to confess to aran instead !!

disco, albeit kinda scared of aran, is ecstatic for joe, wishes him luck and wants to know EVERYTHING about how it went afterward

i imagine hippo would be pretty whatever about it. guy isnt too concerned ab peoples love lifes. wishes him luck like disco tho.

meanwhile kaiser? ''Eh, it is your funeral''

I imagine the world circuit wouldn't be as close with eachother seeing as how theyre busier n likely more hounded by journalists, but they do know in broad terms what goes on in the lives of eachother.

so macho catches wind of aran's crush, and he basically shittalks joe to arans face

''I know everyone's standards are too high for you, but joe's just a sad bar, even for you.''

Aran, not even reacting to the dig against him, starts ranting to macho about how joe is admirable as all hell for getting back up after 99 losses, and how that must mean he has a real love and respect for the sport. He even boldly exclaims that joe arguably works harder than macho, the victories who seems to come so easily to him.

macho eventually leaves, deciding aran's not worth his precious time.

aran then turns around, and OMG HE SEES JOE STANDING THERE !!!!!

anyway he heard all about what aran said (thats right, overhearing ooc conversations and miscommunication happening is OUT, overhearing conversations and gaining respect for someone is IN), and confesses right there and then. aran, hearing prolly the most romantic speech thats ever been directed to him in his entire life, is at a loss for words. He can't say anything other than ''of course, joey.''

and thats the start of their relationship :3

as for other misc hcs that dont fit anywhere else...

one time, when cleaning out aran's jacket pockets (joe's a bit of a neat freak), he found... a bunch of lint. But also !! he found a ton of crumpled up notes. They included phrases for the ring, comedic poems... but they also had affirmations for himself, about his family, but also about joe. joe, sans the lint, left the pockets as is. ever since then though, he's felt closer to him than ever.

joe will often try to pick up aran like a princess. considering hes still decently muscled, he can do it succesfully.

joe loves baking, especially bread, but aran will ALWAYS manage to set something on fire. think spencer from icarly.

they infodump to eachother ab their respective countries histories and folk tales, joe esp ab the former n aran ab the latter.

one time, joe and aran set out for a night walk. then, they (or rather aran) thought he heard a banshee screech. what they actually heard prolly was a car tire screeching in the distance. aran, however, was never the less scared SHITLESS and ran tf home, screaming highpitched. He had to be comforted by joe all night after they got home.

aran loves going to theme parks. he loves the rush. joe, however, hates the tall rides like the rollercoasters, n prefers the calmer rides like the teacups. They have a ''goes onto the rollercoaster alone'' x ''holds the persons stuff while theyre gone'' dynamic.

they rly like singing duets together, especially after a couple drinks. wine in joe's case and beer in arans case. theyve sang at macho's parties before as well, and needless to say they make for great entertainment.

aran often sends joe cursed memes n selfies that joe just Does Not understand

''aran, i will Not hold feet with you, zat's disgusting''

''come on joey..... do ye love me or not......''

[istherewifiinhell]

im reading comics. ive got a blog. ive got screenshots

[ID: panel of ravage thinking "Perfect! I cannot imagine a more ideal opportunity! END]

marveltf no.2, or 3&4 in the uk version, 1984.

[Deep breath] Plot: Bill Mantlo, Script: Jim Salicrup, Pencils: Frank Springer, Inks: Kim Demulder, Letters: Janice Chiang, Colour: Nelson Yomtov, Editor: Bob Buduansky, EiC: Jim Shooter

Digital re-master by digikore studios limited. collection edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon. editorial notes and assistance by Mark. W. Bellomo

jeez again. well lets start of with the remaster hate, on top of the lettering miscorrections...

[ID: Comparing the same shot of Soundwave from two versions. 1. the us printing, his plating has been coloured in purple. 2. digital remaster, its been corrected to blue. (Also Megatron happens to be in frame and thinking "As always Starscream slyly seeks to undermine my command, but his advice is sound!") END]

BOOO, they hate his pussy. purplewave you will always be real to me....

(i also dont think the job of a remaster should be to correct originally present errors, or EVER. to 'bring inline visual brand cohesion'. Imagine if they remaster mirage comics with 87 turtle headband colours... riots in the STREETS.

They should simply restore to higher resolution quality lost from age/accessibility accessibility. like high def scans and faded colour correction... i wish we could keep the quality and texture from print u know) (this is not the fault of individuals doing the restore work, whose names i dont even know, just the company that idw hires to do this work)

ANYWAY. commencing with the bullshit.

[ID: Starscream scowling while Megatron is just behind him. Thinking "Megatron's deductions are most shrewd! I must be careful not to ever let my lust for power cause me to under- estimate his cunning! It is only a matter of time before Starscream commands the decepticons!" END]

ah there we go. im at baseline. im calibrated. locked in

[ID: Large panel of Bumblebee lifted up on a car mechanics hoist, in the Witwicky garage. Hes saying "Help me, please! I'm dying!" A puddle of fluid draing away underneath him. Sparkplug, in sleepwear, shoes and a cap says "Buster-- This isn't like you-- Playin' a dumb joke on your old man in the middle of the night!" Buster pleading "This is no joke, Dad! Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are! I know it sounds crazy, but I'm sure this car is alive! And unless you do whatever it takes to repair it-- it will die! END]

kjfngjhsddfg BUH. fucked up. if im honest

[ID: Two panels, Sparkplug looking up to Bee's undercarriage, finding the source of a leak he thinks "Here's the problem!" Off panel Buster explains excitedly "Four other cars then turned into giant robots and started blasting the jet fighters! "O" and Jessie must've split in all the confusion! I hopped into this car and steered it home!" Panel in silhouette, black on vibrant red, Buster gesticulates wildly, continuing "I mean it doesn't have an ignition or gas pedal or--" Sparkplug continues to look up, and interrupts "I don't know what they put in that popcorn at the drive-in, but i hope it s Not habit-forming!" END

KINDA GOES HARD..... if im honest.

[ID: 1. Buster in Bee's driver's seat, Sparkplug standing outside, speaking to them. Bee: Fear not, Sparkplug Witwicky, I merely plan to relay your generous offer-- Finding some way to convert earthly resources to fuel for Autobot use-- to my leader Optimus Prime! I shall safely return with your son! Sparkplug: Right! Buster: Isn't this the most incredible thing that's ever happened to us?!? Okay, Bumblebee, like, take me to your leader! 2. Two humans, Buster's friends, look at Bee. "Jess, Buster's car just talked!" Jess: "I noticed!" END]

Around here I was coming to understand the off kilter humour their going for, contrasting the bots speech patterns with humans. i dunno if its good reading, but i get it. and yeah they were using a lot of the watchman ass 9 panel layout... if it works eh?

speaking of bot dialogue

[ID: Three panels, Optimus rallying his troops and they change from bot to alt mode by saying "Autobots, convert to earth-modes! Let's move out!" END]

hmm. still work-shopping that one i see. you know. the classic thing autobots do.... convert and move out... what to catholicism or something??

[ID: Panel of an asymmetrical and scifi looking castle on a rocky peak. Caption box: Meanwhile, in the half-completed Decepticon base, constructed from various parts of the erstwhile Harrison Nuclear Plant… END]

Different style but apparently comics Megatron still likes himself a castle. Okay dracula. okay NOS-4-A2.

[ID: Optimus in bot mode, looming over the two humans, he says "I bring you Greetings from Cybertron!" Sparkplug: This one's even bigger than Bumblebee! Buster: Uh-- Hi! END]

He is bigger than Bumblebee... good scale tho, looks right to me anyway. there is a certain charm in this exchange. everyone's suitably and interestingly awkward.

[ID: Panel of Sunstreaker shooting towards the sky, as Sideswipe takes off with a jet pack. Side: If it's a fight they want, Sunstreaker, we can give it to them! Sun: My electron pulse gun shouldn't disappoint them! Side: While you get 'em in your sights, I'll go meet 'em up close and personal. Sun, thinking: Ever-eager for battle, my brother has rashly employed his energy-draining rocket backpack! END]

ah. so the brother thing is from comics. okay. everything always is isnt it? and yes. all the fight scenes have had dialogue like this.

[ID: Megatron stepping toward the viewer, menacingly. "Overconfident Fools! They entrusted the human to their weakest member!" He easily thumps Bee's head with one fist. The humans, small enough to be seen in the space between Megatron's legs. On says "He kayoed Bumblebee with just one shot!" END]

CRUSHED HIM LIKE A BUGGGG 🥁🔔

[ID: Two panels, Caption box: And acts-- Megatron holds Sparkplug in one hand, Optimus points his gun and says "Megatron-- surrender the human or suffer the consequences!" Megatron replies "In a word, Optimus-- He fires his canon, the blast engulfing Prime with a "Wawooom" Megatron finishes "--NO!" But meanwhile Sparkplug is free from his grip, shouting "Geronimo!" END]

honestly this whole page of exchanges was great.... its what i love to see them do... get him megs lol. girl ur so funny. beast warsian almost.

...well thats basically it. its a race to find a way to convert earths energies to their use, and The 'Con have kidnapped the one human who seems willing and able to do it. Low on fuel, and on hope, will our intrepid heroes prevail? As Sparkplug's fate hangs in the balance... tune in next time for...

[ID: Buster looking concerned thinking to himself "How will they be able to rescue Dad-- When it looks like they can't even help themselves?! Caption box: [small next arrow] And along came a... [title text] Spider-man! END]

EX-SQUEEZE ME?!

[bastionbibi]

Question if it’s okay to ask: what is it that made Akai one of your favourites? Or at least someone that’s cool in your book

Man.... This is like asking why I love soup.  Ok, I'm not sure if I can stay coherent but I'll try, 

Ive been reading detco on and off since I was a was a wee child and even back then he was already one of my favorites because I like mystery, and he was the definition of that. 

And this way before the revelation that he was a good guy too. There was this moment of 'yeah, okay, this is it, he's the one (that im not gonna be normal about)'. Specifically, I fell in love in that one scene where he met ran on a snowy night, something about that scene was just so striking, especially something about him that, despite how intimidating he sounded or looked, didn't set off any alarms in Ran, that was the point where I knew there's more to this character, and that I love him. 

On another lighter note. I like his shinigami aesthetic, his one liner and lack of facial expression, I like his lonewolf tendency, how weirdly dependable he is and yet, he's not, in any way shape or form, charming. 

Like that time where he confronted Gin for the first time, he could've told Jodie and Conan that he had a plan to elude the BO but he didn't, he acted alone, he's extremely slow to trust but when he does, he pledge to them his true loyalty. I mean, Conan was just a child in his eyes (even though now he knows him as Shinichi), and yet since he decided to trust him, he never dismissed his words or treat him like a liability despite his 'age'. 

When he trust people, he cherished them in his own ways, and that's what I find commendable. 

He's ANNOYING. An asshole 75% of the time, we never got more backstory about him and Akemi because I refuse to believe this man with the personality as hard to love as the taste of blue cheese could land not 1 but 2 amazing ladies like cmon now. I hate how he treated Jodie but I have no doubt he would take a bullet for her if need be, I guess that’s why Jodie still likes him too to a degree but he didnt deserve her tbh (<- says the girl who will still reblog redstarling fanart whenever it crosses my dash). 

The same can be applied to his ‘rivalry’ with Rei, it doesn't matter what his true reason was, he decided that night, when he was holding the bleeding gun of a man he failed to save, he would keep the truth away from Rei and he stick by that decision till now, Rei did everything in his power to literally hunt him down over a misunderstanding and he didn't care, come hell and high waters and he will still keep Rei away from the truth because that's what he decided to do and he keeps his promises, especially ones made to himself. 

I suppose I like him because outside of 'work', while he keeps people on a distance, you don't have to second guess on where you stand, there's a sort of ease in that. 

As the story progresses, we get to see reasons as to why he ended up this way and that was pretty entertaining, seeing how affectionate he can be to his siblings and what happened in his past to make him go the extreme lengths of being an agent to another country and infiltrating a deadly organization etc, it fleshes him out, it makes me excited to see where he'll end up next. 

Also, he looks kinda handsome ngl 

ON ANOTHER NOTE!! He's also just- Really weird?? 

Like ok, sure, he faked his death like one would do but he came back from the grave as a guy 5 years younger with pink hair that's taking his masters?? Hello???? Has he even been to college before like I legit wonder if he knows how hellish a masters program is AND, I know this is based on a situation that's out of his control, out of all the personalities he can embody, he chose to be a milfy malewife who's always ready to babysit others?? Dedication to the bit is unmatched. 

(Also bc i hc him as conans dad and made a whole series about it, thats fun!)

(Anyway if youre in the gc dont u dare call me a simp i am not . ) 

[chronicler-of-narrative]

*Insert obvious flashing spoiler warning for Edgerunners*

Ok, its only been like less than a month since i finished Edgrunners and I have not had the chance to play the game and only know things about it from a couple youtube videos and cultural osmosis so...Im gonna tell you my theory (thats definitely not just my hidden copium) and *how* David survived the ending of Edgerunners and why I think the story of the anime isn't done.

Disclaimer: this was written late at night and while tired. So take my assessment with a grain of salt and be sure to correct me in the notes

Ill start off by mentioning a pattern ive noticed that may be completely wrong but may also be invaluable to understanding the storytelling of Edgerunners and probably Cyberpunk as a whole: Death as an ending.

Now, that is a very obvious storytelling trope. Character finished their arc? Kill them, and all that. But imo death in Cyberpunk IS the end of a characters arc. David's mom dies moments after completely explaining her hopes for David? End of her arc because it serves to set a baseline, a goal David had pushed onto him that then serves as a payoff later on the series. Same applies to the gang, and while my memories of the middle few episodes are admittedly fuzzy, it is my belief that they all died in some way befitting their character: For example Rebecca and Pillar, characters who are very obviously crazy and to some exend hedonistic, don't die in some glamorous way, but rather are both killed by one, violent and most importantly empty action. A complete rejection of their flair, an anticlimactic end. The point im trying to make here is that death, in Cyberpunk, is played off as a subversion of ones goals but simultaneously as a fulfilment of their arc/purpose.

Now David's death seemingly fills that niche, right? In one way or another, he fulfilled the expectations set on him by everyone around him and himself. He saved Lucy, made it to the top of Arasaka Tower, right? And yet, curiously, to borrow a detail spotted by a probably fairly well known theory video on the idea that David did survive, but we never get to see David die. We see him being aimed at by Smasher in a moment reminscent of the first shot with the washing machine, and then we get a bloody transition. We dont see his corpse. Now, even if i personally do subscribe to this theory, i wanna mention the parallel that caught my eye during the scene: Why exactly is it, and frankly why do we even start, with the washing machine? I feel like the answer is fairly simple, actually: It shows us how David is bent to wills of the corporations. From being denied his clean uniform by the washing machine to getting stared down by Arasaka's most prized asset, he starts and ends in submission to the corporate rule of Night City. Now, if I may stretch this out even further, what if in a way, his death represents the washing cycle of his uniform?

Now, this sounds batshit insane, and it probably is, but hear me out. What if the reason its a washing machine is because it shows the beginning of David's cycle of being 'cleaned' into a corpo, the one that ends up interrupted by the lack of funds. And what if, despite how he apparently dies, that shot might be representing his cycle being...complete?

So, to kinda cut down on all of this yapping, let me make my main thesis clear: the protagonist of Cyberpunk Edgerunners did die, but it was not David Martinez that died, but rather, *David*.

What I mean by this is what if his death was real...But metaphorical? What if he didn't die physically, but the part of him that opposed Arasaka, the punk that didn't fit into the academy, died?

Now, at the end of the series, Adam Smasher is alive and well, and yet in 2077, we kill him. Now, I don't know the context on his dynamic with V and how narratively his death happens, but I do known hes dead. This to me, creates a vacuum. A vacuum that, a game with a clear message about the futility of trying to change the rule of the corpos, should logistically be filled right? And while yes, I am suggest David will take Adam Smashers place, I do wanna explain why it happens.

Now, one thing about David is that he's special. Its a very reccuring motif im the entire show, and one that seemingly doesnt go anywhere since he ends up getting destroyed by the even more special Smasher. But what if, hear me out, that idea of being special had a different use: What if it is used as a framing device (especially given David and Ripperdoc have a conversation ABOUT Smasher) that means to frame David as being similar to Smasher. As being his equal in specialness. What if thats the whole reason its not Max-Tak that ends up killing the cyberpsychosis afflicted David, but Smasher. A sort of "you and me are not so different" moment that supposedly shows Smasher triumphing over David. Now, it could just be that David was enough of a threat to Arasaka that called in the big guns, but then again, if he was, why would Smasher wipe the floor with him? If David was as much of a problem as he's made out to be, wouldn't he be able to hold his own against Smasher, even for a little bit? But no, Smasher demolishes him, completely and utterly. And thus I believe this was all Arasakas plan. To see how suitable of a replacement David is for Smasher. And the reason we only hear whispers of David in 2077? Because hes locked away in some Arasaka facility, being worked on to surpass Smasher and potentially even become a threat to V, considering they seemingly have no issue with killing this supposedly super strong cyborg.

So yea, Tldr: David only died metaphorically, he could potentially come back as a Smasher 2.0 in a sequel to either the game or the anime.

If i got this all completely wrong, do not hesistate to roast me in the notes. If I think of any additions the next time im online, ill make sure to add it as a reblog.

[mendedrum]

My discworld review after the first 17 books

1. Rincewind Series

I think the writing got stronger over time as the narratives became more plot driven. I still like the mystery/nondirectional aspect of TCOM and TLF though. There was an unpredictability about it that would be challenging to replicate with a main character that isnt like Rincewind: i.e someone who pretty much wants to live in boring times. Sourcery still bothers me the most. Firstly because the Wizards didnt get true repercussions about the damage they did. Secondly, while Sourcery ended on strong note, the sequel Faust Eric betrayed everything we've learned about Rincewind and the Dungeon Dimensions. It cheapened the drama invested on Sourcery and I found that aspect annoying. Interesting Times tho, picks up Rincewind's characterization once again and puts it back on the track, except that it doesnt explain what happened to Rincewind's status as a demon-bound-to-a-mortal kind of creature. It was great to see Rincewind showing off his political skills though. It's a good nod to his character being more attached and connected to the wider world compared to his wizard colleagues.

2. Wizards subseries

It's great that they've been fleshed out over time and over so many books. I like that since they're in Ankh-Mopork, they'd eventually get involved in many of the events that happen there. I like that their politics and power struggles are contained to mostly their own and don't really bother with the rest of the world. It's a refreshing POV to be in. Most surprising were their involvement in Mort, Moving Pictures, Reaper Man, Lords and Ladies, Men at Arms and Soul Music. They help expand the worldbuilding better. I still dont like The Bursar's characterization being sacrificed to make Ridcully a bit more respectable tho.

3. Death

Why is it that every major Death story just revolve around the thesis of "what happens when death gets distracted from his job"? Like I know why of course, he's so damn efficient that without him doing the work, everything in time-space just falls apart and tries to correct itself. Anyhow. Pratchett's Death is still the best take on real world death for me. It has helped me go thru difficult times, over grief and over the celebration of life. Death being one of the heart of Discworld is what makes Discworld truly a gift. You'll probably have to pull teeth for me to finish Reaper Man tho.

4. City Watch / Night Watch / The Watch

I haven't gotten far in these subseries but I do know that whenever cops are involved their ought to be high stakes suspense/thriller/action and drama. It's where Pratchett can truly flex on his whoddunit writing style. I find a lot of the narratives pretty standard action-thriller wise. Samuel Vimes is still my favorite of the bunch. I just cant get behind the character of Carrot, unfortunately (stop chasing me with pitchforks)

5. Witches

I'm gonna be honest. I dread the Witches subseries the most not because they're bad but because they tend to be dragging. With the exception of Equal Rites, the coven trio of Esmeralda Weatherwax, Gytha Ogg and Magrat Garlick leads the reader to familiar fairytale paths only for it to get upturned at the end. There are always lessons in the ongoing battle of what it means to be good, to be evil and most of all to be human. That's what make them slow at first. Reader must endure that feeling of "yeah ive been here before" for quite a long while. The payoff is always interesting nd thought provoking though, which makes everything worth it. I still dont know what to feel about Esmeralda Weatherwax being the universe's ultimate trump card. (Kinda same like rincewind and they both hate it)

6. Industrial Revolution

My favorite of all the subseries. Not a lot of people like them and they always get skipped in most reading lists but I often find the stories as the most shocking and creative. I like how they expand on the worldbuilding. I like the blatant parody on how the real world works. I like it when new character, beliefs and industries are introduced. I always thought I'd prefer the other subseries more but here I am lol. Cant wait to read the others.

Anyhow these are my discworld thoughts afer reading the first 17 books. Up next is Maskerade (which is making me groan coz i just finished Witches Abroad, which was very cool in fact and Maskerade is still Witch-centric)

But you can always not read them in publication order, one might say. But i wont do that. I'm a masochist unfortunately.

[daisydood]

Ramblings about God of War: Heimdall Addition!

Note: Heimdall won on the poll if you couldn't tell💀 I thought I would get no one voting on it but DAYUM I got like 20 votes what. Yeah,,, I hate Heimdall so much. He sucks so much. He SUCKS. I HATE HIM

☆ Heimdall: The product of the All Father ☆

Heimdall was an absolute arrogant, short citied, incredibly perceptive, JERK. All of these traits cause the downfall of Asgard. The worst part is he's the most sane of Odins sons. Why is he like this?

Odin is why he's like that. I think when Heimdall was way younger, he was being a jerk to someone because yk, kids. Odin should've corrected him and told him why it was wrong and what to do instead, but no. Odin never corrected anything Heimdall did unless it effected him directly. Actually, he encouraged the behavior. He thought it would be useful to him, for some reason.

Heimdall had so many opportunities to save himself in his final battle. But, his divine dignity couldn't handle defeat.

Kratos tried his hardest not to kill another god. He has been trying to change for Atreus. But then here comes Heimdall, tempting him to kill him. Kratos has pitied him enough to let him go without dying (correct me if I'm wrong, I havent played this part in a while) twice, but Heimdalls stupid little ego couldn't take the fact that he got pitied by the god killer.

Heimdall just kept pushing him. If he shut up for two seconds he would probably be alive for the next game. When Heimdall fell to Kratos for the first time, he was about to let him go. Heimdall said something that set him off, and he lost his arm for it. Kratos pitied, he went like oooooh no I'm attacking you again rinse and repeat two times until he dies.

Just an fyi: if he shut up he would be alive; if he was alive he could protect Asgard; if he could protect Asgard he would be able to protect his home, his pride and joy.

AND once he dies, he doesn't even get recognized for his long lasting loyalty to Asgard and Odin. ODIN DID NOT CARE AT ALL.

I mean, we all know he uses the poor guy like a lapdog. But AT LEAST some slight sadness or mourning for your dead son that just got his face bashed in to an unrecognizable bloody mess fighting for you.

But alas, all we got from him was "Heimdall is dead. Do you know anything about that?"

Not a slight bit of emotion. Factual. Interrogative. Quite literally a pawn in his little game. Not sad in the slightest.

No funeral, no condolences, no nothing. Atreus even said everyone hated him. Well, yeah. But even the most annoying jerks don't deserve this. Soooooooooooo yeah idk what else to say. In conclusion Heimdall sucks but he doesn't deserve what happened to him.

Note 2: AHHH I FINISHED IT. omg I'm so sorry this took so long. Ive been so busy and honestly I kinda got writers block for a little. I'm thinking about making a Pokémon "leaks" type of thing so if you're interested in that let me know🐡

[fearowkenya]

Winds of Change

In a perfect world, all it takes to make things right with Lopmon is a punch to the face and a sincere apology. In a perfect world, if the timing's just right, the worst can be avoided. In a perfect world, it's easy to make amends. But this is not a perfect world, and Shuuji has to take the good with the bad if he and Lopmon are going to come out of this mess stronger.

Chapter One: Clouds on the Horizon Shuuji's trying his best to recuperate from what happened in the waterway, but it's difficult to recover when Ryo's determined to commit a misdemeanor

ao3 link in source, extended end-of-chapter author's notes below cut!

chapter 1 of this behemoth of a fic ive been working on is finally out!!! it's taken me just over a month to get the whole thing done, and im really excited to be posting it. i hope my formatting is okay - i dont have a beta reader, so im stuck relying on my own perspective. it's not a big deal now, but as the rest of the fic is published, i can see myself getting a little worried about structure and pacing.

the driving force of this fic was my dissatisfaction with the tonal dissonance that part 6 has during truthful route. in every other route, it works GREAT. but because nothing bad really happened in truthful save for some ooh ahh scary fog, the kids' fearful reactions seem totally exaggerated, and it's such a shame! so one of the main ideas behind this fic is figuring out what would have to happen in part 5 truthful that could make all the mistrust and paranoia in part 6 actually feel warranted.

if you've read the chapter, you know what my answer is! i won't elaborate on it now, but when i post chapter 2 next week, you know i am absolutely not going to shut the fuck up about it.

the other driving force behind this fic is actually two small things rolled into one.

first: there's an easily missable conversation between ryo and shuuji during part 6 if you click around in the shopping district. it's so silly. i love it. i didn't see it during my first play of truthful, so when i found it during my current one, i damn near fell out of my chair when i clicked on the ice cream cooler. fuckin got jumpscared by ryo and shuuji's portrats popping up like a pair of bowling pins out of nowhere.

second: ryo and shuuji just don't show up at ALL during the fight against garurumon. like i know the reason they don't is because the game dev situation was probably quite dire and they had to cut stuff in order to make deadlines. it kinda sucks, but i imagine it was totally out of their control. im sure if they had the time and resources they wanted, there wouldve been an alternate version of this fight where shuuji and ryo are included, but im actually not super bothered by it because it means i get to ask the question "so what were they doing instead???" well, if you take the stupid ice cream cooler conversation into account, it implies that the reason that shuuji and ryo miss SUCH A MAJOR FIGHT is because they're too busy having their stupid competition. Unbelievable. but that's actually quite convenient for me, because that's the exact window of time where half the segments of this fic take place.

anyway, that's gonna do it for chapter 1 notes! thank you for reading this far, and i'll be back with chapter 2 next week!

[comeonblub]

i do this thing where i write notes about my knowledge of a new media before starting it, my experience during it, and then my perspective after (if i finish)

separately, ive also been losing my mind about Outer Wilds for well over a week now. ive decided i want to share it

(if you notice that it's been years since ive posted on here no you didn't)

also if you haven't played the game, i recommended you do not read this and instead go download Outer Wilds

spoilers below

NOTES: Outer Wilds / before playing

- has that one song with annoying whistling that i always skip when it shows up on Spotify

- that one person i follow on Tumblr absolutely loves it it's like their favourite game

- seems like it might be emotional or something?

- uhhhh space aliens? i think??

NOTES: Outer Wilds / start playing

- omg the controls SUCk

- oh IM the alien

- lag lag lag and very not keyboard friendly (yes im playing with a keyboard no i don't have a controller)

- ...

- okay keybind + graphics adjustments, and ive made it ever so slightly better

- i do not want to talk to you

- I DO NoT know what i am supposed to be doing what what what

- maybe i shouldve talked to people

- uhhhhh did I do that?

- the world explodes and dies. why. bc of me?

- UHHh

- oh hey the game references the fact i died lol

- okay Doing this again i guess and won't repeat the thing that killed me i think

- don't fucking TouCH that thing it explodes worlds

- okay okay im getting good info i think def don't want to die this time unless i can save

- do i save at that one statue? let's try

- WAIT FUCK FUCK The World's exploding again WHY

- BUHHHH

- "you're lucky im in a timeloop because otherwise I'd be super dead" – LMAO OKAY I MAY BE WON OVER

- okay so the explosions are independent of me. im going back to that thing and fucking around w/ it

- ...

- 15 Hours Into Game

- brittle hollow and i are besties now

- the lore is intricate ain't it. at times i feel like i understand everything. at others im completely lost. if there's a strategy here i don't know it. im just compelled to explore

- the Southern Observatory kinda went off tho with that visual and music combo

- the Fucking Moon

- i got stuck in anglerfish overlook w/ rising sand and just had to wait to die by being scrunched on the ceiling. absolutely worst way to go was awful and i hated it

- 22 min......

- reading explanations that completely recontexutalizes things i'd took for granted or previously ignored is a trip and a half

- my worldview gets shattered every other loop, millions dead but don't worry death means nothing

- like "the sun station",.. oh. "22 min interval"... OH

- i don't know what else to do here

- giants deep whomst ive ignored

- THERES ANOTHER PERSON WHO STUCK IN THIS TIMELOOP WITH ME?

- !!!

- gabbro my beloved

- hhhngg these puzzles.. am i missing something. should i know it now. will i learn it later. the stupid watery core and electricity...

- ...

- 25 Hours Into Game

- i know this galaxy

- i know it intimately

- but there are some places that are just so stupidly challenging to get to. i get there once. i never want to have to do it again. (giants deep core– once. sun station– once. coleus' lakebed quantum cave– twice. centre of the interloper– twice. the vessel– once. high energy lab– twice.)

- ...

- quantum moon whoag

- uh hm what

- YOURE ALIVE

- solanum i love u

- "think of you as a friend" PLS CAN I HUG

- ...

- 30+ HOURS INTO GAME

- i figured out the ash twin core

- i chickened out of taking the thing to do other things instead. achievement hunting.

- it's simply much too scary. no fallback. what happens if no core, no loop

- oh

- .. oh

- fucking hell i didn't realize how much id become dependent on the safety net of a timeloop. of like, functional immortality

- the fear of the unknown. of something new. of actual death

- ...

- well then

- FINISHING MAIN GAME

- i took the core. i left the ash twin project.

- music immediately begins kicking up into something new and emotional and anticipatory

- I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS MORE TO DO

- i panic and warp back to ask twin project. return the core to the machine

- what a wuss. but i feel better

- think think think think

- where Have I Seen that before. the core

- okay i have an idea of what to do but. fear

- I PRACTICE. Practice! i do 3+ runs to test getting past those Fucking FISH

- AND THEN DO IT FOR REAL

- screaming and crying

- BUT I SUCCEED

- whhhjhb whoaggh

- eye...

- HhhHhh quantummmm

- what

- what

- what

- a guy

- what

- ... euuuu cry mine friendsss

- ayy the fucking hell im emotional

- goddamn. What A Game. that music. holy shit

- ...

NOTES: Outer Wilds / post playing

- even as i did the ending there was still a small part of me that thought... i can save them

- ... (there will be a way to save them)

- there wasn't of course. and it hurt. but... not in a completely bad way

- it's like. the small flickering hope i felt at the end of all things, it still meant something. it still got me TO the end

- i know it was just a game but. it makes me think

- ...

- BONUS Saga of me accomplishing achievements: the fact that i later was able to break reality and also talk to myself in game was fun and cool and sexy

- i WILL be playing DLC but i need to recover

[leeyanyanyaaan]

ever since finishing watching khdr, it kinda made me reflect on how kh is yet another one of those games that emphasize how everything isn't black and white, good and evil, or specifically, darkness and lightness, and i really like games like that, games which pull off really nice moral grayness, albeit kh's notoriously chaotic lore, it's not perfect but i still love it nonetheless.

now i know this statement will sound completely out of pocket in comparison to the first paragraph, but i've been having thoughts about xehanort in genshin impact. AHAHA YEAH VERY RANDOM. i think its his talk with MoM about what he learned after travelling, and how he mentions delusions, i guess it reminded me of genshin and the fatui? he lowkeeeeeyyyy gives off a bit of zhongli vibes with the whole the world needs order. idk i just think hed be interesting in genshin :>

anyways i just really adore how xehanort is yet another morally gray character apart from MoM. his juxtaposition with eraqus (that was touched up on from bbs which i liked), who absolutely believes light is the only right way, while dark roads was exploring how it's more than just light is good darkness is evil. i mean, sure i get that pretty much all of the kh franchise explores that topic, but i guess dr (and i guess most of the mobile games?) is one game that tackled this head on? again, complicated lore with all the hearts and souls and whatnot, especially w sora now sent to the quadratum.

xehanort, from the start, is shown to be a pragmatic/realist/logical character. even from bbs, you might say that my moral compass could be a bit off, but when xehanort talked about how light and darkness go hand in hand and how you cant have one without the other i completely understood that and especially throughout dark road. like, i guess in my opinion, it should be a given that there can NOT really be a "soul with pure light" that harbors NO darkness, this is probably the realist in me talking AHAHA. and throughout dark road you can really see how xehanort is starting to come to realization and opening his eyes about the complexity and grayness of dark, light and hearts.

it's also worth noting that dr was quite focused on world order. and how darkness comes to play in world order, therefore ruling out that darkness is inherently bad. and then we have baldr 😭😭💔 god the last episode devastated me. but what baldr said really does i guess hit the nail for xehanort about the whole light darkness thing, maybe it's what set him on his path?

listen, i still don't fully understand the kingdom hearts lore. i'm still very lacking on it as a whole. but i guess my take away from dark roads is that after everything that happened, after xehanort becomes a keyblade master, his goals are to 1. in order to prevent the world falling to chaos by letting the pure darknesses grow and take over, he wants to, i guess somehow, purge the impurities (both light and dark) using kingdom hearts so that the true light can be created?????? IT MAKES NO SENSE I KNOW, and i know that the purging pure darknesses w kingdom hearts was debunked in dr, but i guess im just really drawn in by what xehanort said to MoM about how there is darkness in everyone's hearts and that's what i mean about the darkness he wants to purge. then again, at this point i may as well have forgotten the storylines of the games older than khddd so whatever he might've said in bbs ive completely forgotten 💀

2. i never believed xehanort had malicious intentions. xehanort just wanted answers. and he's grown to a point where he'll do what he must to get them even if the sacrifices that he makes are deemed immoral. but doesn't this also happen with those seeking to purge darkness? the sacrifices they had to make on their journey, the friends they lost, people would just tell them that they were a necessary sacrifice for the sake of the world, as baldr has pointed out. basically, xehanort isn't like maleficent who purely wants darkness to control the world or something like that, even though he has this awareness that power is needed to fulfill your goals, he's doing this more for answers than evil. because since the beginning, xehanort has always wanted answers.

eugh yeah this is.... an absolute mess.... honestly speaking, i probably COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT AJSDBFKSJBF ugh honestly im not that good at deep diving analysis, but i just cant not be intrigued by xehanorts character! the deeper lore opened up by all the games! because MAN things got a whole lot more complicated interesting and i just wanna enjoy kh content man :")

anyways, gotta love morally gray characters fr <3

[watsername]

alright my long awaited (nobody asked) thoughts on the new maneskin album as a bitch that had way too much maneskin on her Spotify wrapped.

OWN MY MIND - 7/10

I rlly fuckin vibe w this song . the instrumentals in my opinion are some of the best in the album . ive been walking about going do u wanna do u wanna own my mind to the point where its annoying ppl.

GOSSIP- 9/10

don't ask me why this song just has a little bit of girlypop to it. anyway I dance in my bedroom to this this is what this song was made for. drunk women to dance around in their bedrooms in a tshirt and underwear. do your sexy little drunk jumping dance throwing ur hair around u will have such a good time. tom morello FUCKS btw.

TIMEZONE - 8/10

made my cry what the fck . my u key is sticky btw I might jst be missing the u from words sometimes . anyway im a sucker for a rock ballad . the Spotify notes saying it was the least thought out song by dam as an anxious love letter,,,, my heart. the raw emotion in his voice. its gonna send me over the edge

`BLA BLA BLA - 6/10

this was probably my lest favourite from the album it just didn't make me feel any kind of way. is it a bad song by any means ? no I think its fun and the storyline of the song is rlly interesting in the whole depicting the perspective of the most toxic boyfriend and playing it in a way that ridicules him but musically it just wasn't my style as much as the other tracks were

BABY SAID - 8/10

BASS LINE !!!!!!!!!!!! SLAY !!!!!! its got a good build to it and i rlly like the overall song it reminds me of something but I cant place what . this is gonna be another one I end up dancing to . it feels like an updated version of a song that would be on il ballo della vita . u know . it has il bella della vita vibes. I fuck w it

GASOLINE- 8.5/10

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE !!!!!! genuinely I wanted it on the album since we got the teaser last year its such a good song with a powerful message the only thing is I wish it had a bit More going on like the heaviness of the song builds with every 'were gonna dance on gasoline' (and it did a little) so its just musical rock madness by the end if u catch my drift. its still a fucking banger tho and im so happy its on the album

FEEL - 7/10

this song reminds me of something and I DONT KNOW WHAT IT ISSSSSSSS. maybe its something 90s early 2000s but I cant figure it out. parts of the album have very britpop or like 90s rock vibes anyway the lil 'im about to make u feel' then straight into the guitars gets me pumped and I love it

DONT WANNA SLEEP - 7/10

big fan of the instrmentals and when dam shouts when he sings bt its just nit my fave from the album. I do love the dichotomy of the music and the lyrics and Thomas played w that guitar solo

KOOL KIDS- 100000/10

obsessed. very 90s britpop. the rawness the emotion behind it the fact that he was drnk when they recorded it the frustration with the sneering and snobbery of people post Eurovision the references to everything that happened over those weeks the 'eat my shit' at the end. its powerful what does it mean to be cool why is there so much pressure on people to look and act a certain way why do we have all these preconceived notions on people based on everything down to the music they listen to . I love it .

IF NOT FOR YOU - 10/10

im a scier for a rock ballad. the fact this was done in a one-take. the vocals the strings the instrumentals in general its just so gorgeous . im sobbing listening to it rn . I want this as my first dance as my wedding I really do I need to get my boyfriends approval tho. and he actually needs to propose first which won't be soon. I have time to convince him

READ YOUR DIARY - 7/10

I know that this is kinda a dark song about obsession but,, what is that melody . the chorus just goes so hard . its so good. AGAIN THOMAS BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER WITTH THE GUITAR SOLO !!!!!!!!!

MARK CHAPMAN- 9/10

Im still learning Italian. but this song fucks so hard. genuinely all of their Italian songs are amazing I don't thinks there's one bad one. but the pace the guitars the bass the drums (all of them basically) I love some fast paced rock I love his voice I love this fucking song . Thomas u fucking genius the guitar solo SLAYED !!!!!!!!!!1

LA FINE - 10/10

im quitte literally obsessed w this song. ive made my mm listen to it. I power walk to class listening to it. it has that Teatro d'ira vibes to it very much zitti e buoni in nome del padre moments kind of lividi Sui gomiti vibes as well and girl. thats my fave album. it fucks. this song . and I love how they use their music to discuss important issues and serious topics

IL DONO DELLA VITA- 7/10

the storyline of this song is so interesting in its awareness of appreciating the things you have and what's around you and appreciating the little things and I can see this being phenomenal on stage and being recognised worldwide . I like faster paced songs but I love this song and I think the way it all builds and comes to a climax at the end is gorgeous before it slows down again for damiano and vic to all it all together. brilliant

MAMMAMIA- 10/10

girl it was number 2 in my wrapped second to zitti e buoni. makes me feel like a whore makes me want kill someone in a sexy way its fantastic. sexy ass bass line too. bass player is ALSO sexy.

SUPERMODEL

I was torn on this song when it first released bt the more one been listening to it the more I like it . love the nirvana reference. low waisted pants on onlyfans I pay for that <- best part of the song .

THE LONELIEST- 9/10

this is my mums favourites of the ones ive made her listen to . she likes the music video as well. again I cannot stress enough that domino is such a talented writer his lyrics are genuinely so poetic so beautiful and the band are so talented at building around the lyrics to portray the same form of real emotion with their instruments as domino does his voice everything just fits together and it creates masterpieces. I love this fucking song

the fact that a 6 was the lowest rating here today. I love maneskin fr I believe what theyre doing is reigniting the poplar interest in rock music and they are going to go so so so far . theyre genuinely some of the most talented people of our generation theyre insane. I really hope they expand their tor dates for future tours bc one uk show in england during my uni exam season is killing my Scottish ass . im obsessed w their music fr.

[kindchenschema]

greys anon back again👋uni was kicking my ass but the semesters over and im caught up now! didn’t really care for the finale/season but i loved reading ur thoughts! im also giving the show an out this season because ik the strike messed things up but how uneven things were made me long for the end tbh😭 bc if this is the writers running on empty it’s kinda embarrassing and cliche and they need to get all the OGs back for s22, give everyone closure and wrap it up on a high note. i need greys to end with dignity lmfao like that’s the bestie

& so is bailey, who was the best part of this episode (saw ur tots about her and simone and although i don’t go there—they had cute tender moments but i rly wanted simone and maggie to smooch last season & im loyal plus ive always been partial to bailey & callie lezzing out together) and amazing in the end. the fact that they’re did all that for lucas tho, laughable—simone needs 2 let that mf go already my god! ik she won’t but im choosing 2 believe they’ll free her next season bc im over it. she’s better than this) as is the fact that lucas is staying and yasuda is leaving. just nasty and cruel and lesbophobic to me specifically. hers and jules’ almost kiss moment was so intimate and convincing i almost looked up fanfic of them but i don’t think there would be any at least not yet. greys non canon lesbian ships are so under-appreciated tbh 1/3 (this is so long sry in advance!)

hey greys anon bestie <3 finally replying to you!! (same here, this one comp sci class i'm taking is like. consuming my life. but in a good way)

aww thank you ^^

girl, i've thought about this SO MUCH like from a writing/showrunning standpoint I have literally no idea how the show could end. imo it has to be some kind of a full circle moment with meredith and ellis and carousels and alzheimers, and probably derek and just as many OGs as they can get to come back. kind of like what they tried to do in season 17, only way less shit. but they would need dempsey&co back for that not to mention ellen (which btw i do not get like is she back or is she not back? wasn't she supposed to leave? like wasn't everyone freaking out that meredith was leaving? So much ado about nothing smh) so i kinda doubt that will happen

it would also be a slay if the last scene of the show is zola visiting meredith in the nursing home (a parallel to meredith and ellis) and meredith has alzheimers but there are photos of derek, lexie, cristina etc beside her bed and zola is telling her how her surgical internship is going and meredith is like "i think i used to be a surgeon once" and zola is like "yes, mom, you were" SDFGHJ or however it went in s1. but ik everyone and their mom has this as their theory for the ending so i doubt it will happen also.

AND something that would be a huge wig in orbit moment is if they already filmed the ending back in 2004 and it's meredith waking up after her one-night-stand with derek in the pilot and it's like woa.. it was just a dream.. and then derek is like hey i'm derek and meredith is like cool can we skip to the part where your wife struts in bc i wanna marry her. which might happen tbh ! we will see 😌

anyway NO I DO NOT WANT IT TO END SOON i need it to get me thru my bachelors at LEAST (which is gonna be a long time bc i'm not the brightest candle on the cake 🤠)

anyway.

Simone and maggie is also intelligent 🙌

omg yes literally after i posted my finale yappings i was like oh shit wait yasuda is leaving 😭 why would they do this to us. i don't super care about them but i like them better than helmika just bec i don't get what helm was trying to do at all, it was funny when she was all about having a crush on meredith (like, same) but she can emigrate to paris with levi now that's ok

i fully block out the fact that simone/lucas is a thing (their scenes are usually my tea breaks tbh) like i feel like my brain isn't entirely processing that info even tho i know it is technically true. i mean simone is a full on dyke in my mind because you expect me not to project onto her? with THOSE mommy issues? when she had that scene with addison in the nicu... i was like 🤔🏳️‍🌈❓ ok now kiss