#i mean i do love a good minyard-josten anyway

[simonsrosebud]

the reality of andrew and neil potentially marrying for benefits is that neil likely wouldn’t change his name because josten is his. it is this little bundle of feeling that he clings fiercely. he fought and struggled and suffered for that name and he got to keep it in the end. and yes, hyphenating it with minyard still means he gets to keep it, but it’s not the same.

neil wears josten across his back when he wins gold, writes josten on his first lease and contract when he finally makes a life for himself on his own in a new city again but this time as a real person. as someone who is known and hated and loved and seen.

neil is sentimental about keys, but we’ve seen the same importance of names- all of them. nathaniel, abram, wesninski, josten. “can i really be neil again?” and “Neil Abram Josten," Neil murmured, and it felt like waking up from a bad dream.” and “Are you going to keep it as-is, then? Jean Moreau?” and “I don't want to be Nathaniel. I want to be Neil Josten. ”

plus, i doubt either of them would care to change all that shit anyway. too much paperwork. they’re not showy with their affectation in public, so flaunting their relationship to the public by way of matching jersey names probs wouldn’t be their route regardless

[ittyybittybaker]

i got exactly one (1) like on that post with tags about Andrew And Neil having A Moment during Taxi (a song by The Maine) so here's a small snippet of the fic i'm working on where that appears !

Taxi - The Maine

( I recommend that you to the song for the Full Effect, but its obviously not required)

What is this fic about? Basically it's the most self-indulgent thing i could possibly write: the foxes go to a music festival, Neil sees a set from a band called The Maine and becomes a Fan. He learns why people like live music so much, learns to let go and have fun at shows, and has Many Emo Moments while listening to their music. Basically, if you wanna read a fic about Neil experiencing some emotional healing while listening to music from a band that you don't know, this is the fic for you!!

*note: i haven't written any kind of published fic so please be kind to me !! this is completely unedited and is straight from google docs so it might be pretty rough.*

[twin-yards]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

oh my gods thank you so much for asking i could go on and on about these characters tbh ✨

Laurent of Vere (Captive Prince trilogy): okay i admit he's an asshole but like in the best way. he's so outspoken and not afraid to say what he thinks to the point of cruelty and good at swordfighting and dude i wanna be like that. also he is very fucking smart. his mind is like a maze that not many people would be able to figure out. or something. his words are like weapons. and he's stoic but at some specific times you see him being expressive (sometimes against his will) like when he blushes at something Damen says or actually smiles or laughs and it just warms my fucking heart i love him so much tbh

Nico di Angelo (PJO): he helped me get over my homophobia when i was a kid. this dude has literally gone through so much with his sister dying and dealing with the feelings he had for Percy and the hate he felt he was supposed to have for him and the internalized homophobia and wondering what other people would think about him being gay and also he's powerful as fuck he has a sword made from Stygian Iron he absolutely SLAYED in the last battle against Kronos he's gay he can teleport and he has trauma and survivor's guilt and he wears his fucking avian jacket everywhere and never brushes his hair and survived fucking TARTARUS on his own dude no he's fucking amazing and deserves all the love in the world

Adam Parrish (the Raven Cycle): he is the smartest person alive probably. he survived his stupid abusive fucking father and works really hard in school and in life because he believes you have to do that to get somewhere in life and he wants to fucking get somewhere. he cares so much about his friends and is not disaster bisexual representation no that boy is organized as fuck. we should all feel lucky that he exists we as a community as a fucking planet do not deserve him <3 also he sacrificed himself to a sentient forest to save everyone i think so that was pretty badass ngl

Ronan Lynch: this dude can literally bring shit out of his dreams. he swears a lot and cares so deeply about his friends it's so fucking beautiful. he dreamed the sentient forest his bf Adam sacrificed himself to. he looks dangerous as fuck and can be when he wants to but also he's just a huge softie. he's gay and he used to fist fight his older brother and he can dream things that don't make logical sense into existence. he is just,,,,, this amazing fucking character and right now it's hard to put it all into words but bottomline: i'm happy he exists

Andrew Minyard (All for the Game): he has been through so. much. this man keeps knives in the fucking leather band thingies on his arms which he wears to cover the scars he has from all the self harm that he inflicted because he was fucking r*ped when he was seven (for the first time, anyway) by his older foster brother (fuck Drake Spear, the bastard). he cares so much about some people but doesn't show it in very obvious ways, mostly. i mean he killed his mom because she was abusing his twin brother and if that isn't love then love doesn't exist. i'm so happy he survived all that shit. he survived and has found a family in the Foxes and a boyfriend in Neil Josten who he loves very much and hdjdjfjskxkdkd

Neil Josten: was on the run for like eight years with his mom from his crazy ass father who wanted to murder them. even after his mother died after bleeding out from a wound his father inflicted and he burned her body along with their car and buried her bones he lasted a full day without puking his guts out, and then he kept going. so many would've just given up at that point, understandably i think. but he didn't. and then he became a Fox and was playing Exy and failed his attempts to not get attached to his teammates he grew to care about them all so much especially Andrew who he is in love with and whose boundaries he respects like he has literally actively put himself in harm's way so many times just so nothing will happen to his family and Andrew. he cares so much i love him.

Blitzø (Helluva Boss): literally just a guy. well i mean an imp one of the denizens of Hell who decided to open up his own assassin company thingy where you'd pay him and he'd go to the human world with the help of the grimoire his sorta fuckbuddy ish crush Stolas lends him and with his employees to kill the person you want them to kill. so yeah that's pretty badass. yknow, in a weird, twisted way. he's also foul-mouthed as fuck which is always fun to see :) but what made me kinda connect to his character is the dude's estimate for his own self worth is basically non-existent he pushes away anyone who cares about him and puts up the facade of an annoying asshole (which he kinda is naturally) to not deal with his feelings sometimes. i relate

Wylan Van Eck (Six of Crows): his dad is a fucking asshole who wanted him killed because he can't read. who the fuck does that literally wtf. but he escaped and joined the Crows [Kaz, Inej, Jesper (who is his boyfriend), Nina, and Matthias (dead)] who are all just kids who are fighting to survive in this horrible ass world. also they want money to buy stuff which, same. but Wylan has so many strengths like he can create bombs he's a flautist he's good at the sciency stuff and music and is smart as fuck and he's such a pure person like. i love him so much <3

Will Byers (Stranger Things): this guy cares so much about his friends and family and will do anything to help make sure they're okay. he's in love with his best friend and he thinks he's a mistake which he is NOT. he is a fucking GIFT to mankind we should all feel lucky he exists because we do not fucking deserve him. it broke my heart to see him being pushed aside and forgotten but in season five he better get all he deserves and more. literally i love him so much and i love when he's a little rude and rolls his eyes and that one time he asked Jonathan “is that why you don't have any friends ?” with the most innocent fucking face ever like he is the best. i love him. #will byers supremacy

Angel Dust (Hazbin hotel): okay i watched this at like 3am today and can i just say: AMAZING. like his character is just so publicly flamboyant and i love that for him. i mean i guess it's literal Hell and no one gives a shit but he's there and he's a sex worker and dude does not give a fuck about what other people think. he cares about specific people and his best friend is Cherri Bomb and they did the music video thing together where we find out he was (still is, i guess) sexually abused by this bitch Valentino who we should all hate. fuck him seriously why are people so horrible. he cries and resorts to the sex and drugs as a way to numb the pain. fuck. he even died from a drug overdose. i hope when we get the hazbin hotel series he's like okay and stuff because i love him so much for and it hurts that that shit happened to him.

so yeah this is my list not necessarily in this order😅 thanks again for asking i appreciate it <3

[fortheloveofexy]

Thank you for your wonderful answer....Reading your answer make me want to re-read the novels all over again....🤩

If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask your top 5 favorite characters from AFTG? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from the series? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

Of course! 🥰 I'm a bit sleepy at the moment so apologies if this is a bit rambly, but here it goes:

Top 5 Favorite Characters and why I love them:

Andrew Minyard

Andrew is a character of extremes, and I love him for it. He's a deeply flawed and tragic character but also incredibly interesting and lovable despite his asshole tendencies. I love him because he's willing to get his hands dirty to protect the people he loves. He's also incredibly self-sacrificing to the point of self-destruction, and very few people in-universe seem to realize that.

Neil Josten

Oh, Neil. Oblivious, paranoid, cutthroat Neil. His POV as a narrator reveals a shocking amount of depth behind his character. The way he shifts from a robotic, disinterested tone when discussing anything but Exy to describing Andrew in the most poetic terms possible... it just reveals so much about his feelings that even he might not be award of. I adore how even when he learns the meaning of empathy and friendship, he's still the ruthless, protagonist with an attitude problem that we've all come to love

Aaron Minyard

Aaron my beloved ❤ he is often unfairly maligned in the fandom, in my opinion, mainly because of his rocky relationship with Andrew and outright hostile relationship with the series narrator, Neil. Aaron is just trying to live his life and get through pre-med when all this shit starts going down. He craves normalcy and stability, which given his chaotic childhood is a perfectly understandable reaction, and he just happened to end up with a team full of the most unstable, extreme people on the planet. Even though Aaron himself is far from normal, he likes to pretend he is so that he can blend into the background unnoticed. There's a lot of depth behind his character that I think the fandom writes off because of some of his comments towards Nicky, which is really a shame. Anyway, love him, love to analyze him, he's in the top 3

Renee Walker

I have a... love/hate relationship with Renee. I think in the fandom she's often portrayed as this sweet Christian girl with a hidden badass side - which are all true! She is those things! However, I think some of the more interesting and flawed parts of her character are overlooked. Renee is very much a bad person trying to be a good person in the sense that she is not nearly as good as she pretends to be. She is very much "faking it until she makes it" in terms of having a real moral code. Yes, she tries to play the role of peacemaker, but notice how despite her apparent friendship with Andrew, she never tells the upperclassmen not to call him "monster". Sure, maybe Andrew wouldn't appreciate it or thank her if she did, but it shouldn't matter. A real friend would stick up for him anyway, but Renee doesn't do that. She'll only bother to try and resolve conflict if there's no risk for her. I love that about her though - she's still flawed despite being further along in her healing than some of the younger Foxes, and that makes her way more interesting than the "nice Christian girl" persona she likes to wear.

Matt Boyd

To put it simply - Matt Boyd is the older brother everyone wishes they had. He's fun, he's kind, he's chill, but he's had his own issues and problems in life too. I like to think Matt eventually becomes friends with Andrew's lot, that things settle enough between all of them by the time he hits senior year that they can all go to Eden's again with no hard feelings.

My Top 5 favorite Moments:

The Riko Roast - I'm fairly sure this is many people's favorite. It is such a good "oh shit" moment and it's one of the biggest glimpses we get of Neil's real, unfiltered personality where all the Foxes can see it. Plus, Riko deserved every word of that roast (and more, tbh)

Andrew and Neil's conversation in the locker room where he gives Neil the phone. It's the moment where Neil genuinely starts to get curious about Andrew, where he begins to question Andrew back and take an interest in him. This, I think, is where Neil starts to consider the possibility of trusting and opening up to Andrew for real. It's also blatant flirting on Andrew's part, which is hilarious to reread in hindsight because Neil was just so oblivious at the time.

The motel scene in Baltimore where the boys are finally reunited. It hurts my heart every time and yet it is SO GOOD.

The Shower Scene

Neil waking up with Andrew's arm under his pillow

There are honestly many more, but these are the first that came to mind. Thank you for the ask (and sorry for the novel-length answer)!!

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

andreil and goodbye kisses (pt. 7) ft. allison

parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 good lord why have i stretched this one concept out for so long skdflskj || part 8

allison thinks — nay, knows — that neil josten is just the cutest human being alive. certainly a badass. very threatening. will bite when provoked.

but still very cute. adorable. squish, if you will.

(also, have you seen those eyes??)

she likes to believe she is the mother hen of the newborn chick — the startled bambi — that is neil josten

and so, as an experienced, highly intellectual person, she... questions neil's taste in men

allison worries that andrew is just stringing neil along, ready to drop him whenever he pleases

(renee insists this is not the case, but what does renee know?)

anyways, allison concludes that andrew must be put to the test to confirm that he is good enough for her precious (and slightly rude) child

now, allison isn't one to perpetuate stereotypes, but andrew is a well-dressed gay man with plenty of experience in dressing up neil nicely

and, as the self-crowned queen of fashion, she knows that clothes can tell a lot about an individual

(for example, her clothes are wonderful, which means that she is flawless)

so allison decides that going clothes shopping with andreil (she cannot thank nicky enough for coming up with that ship name) is the only way to truly see if andrew is good enough for neil

so she plans. and one thursday evening, she corners andrew and neil and tells them what's going down

"neil. you and your boy— " "he's not my boy" "you and your boy will join me this saturday to go shopping at the mall. any questions?" "yes, actually— " "great, i'll see you then!"

to her surprise, andrew actually shows up with neil on saturday, twirling his car keys with a bored expression

"minyard. you are not driving"

"alright then. neil, let's go back to to bed"

"okay okay fine you can drive"

allison, with great dignity, regales herself to backseat passenger. at least this way she has a perfect view of the heart eyes transpiring between andrew and neil

(and if she sneaks in a couple of pictures of them — well, no one needs to know)

they finally reach the mall and allison is ready to start her sneaky observations

first: she spots a cute pink sweater in an egregiously bright shop window and drags neil inside, checking conspicuously if andrew follows him

he does

pleased, allison browses through the store, plucking the sweater she originally saw to try on later

after a little more looking, she emerges from the dressing room to show off the sweater to neil

"well neil? how do i look?"

"oh uh. pretty? andrew, how does she look?"

andrew sweeps an impassive gaze over her and promptly turns around without a word

allison is outraged. how dare he simply ignore neil! does he not think neil is important enough to respond to? does he not care at all? how can he just— oh

andrew returns with a pale blue sweater she had seemingly missed and throws it at her face

she goes back in to try it with a huff. surprisingly (and annoyingly), this one looks even better than the pink one did

she buys the blue one. but andrew's still on thin fucking ice

second: after the sweater fiasco, she leads andreil over to a shoe store. allison * very deliberately * walks through the men's footwear, hoping andrew will take notice of something he likes there for neil, before making her way to the women's section

she tries on a few sandals, showing them off to neil, and andrew wanders off in the middle of her runway strut

(she can't understand why. he might be gay, but surely he can still appreciate her legs, right?)

her questions are answered after andrew emerges from an aisle carrying a navy blue box, placing it in front of neil

neil stares at it. andrew kicks him in the shin

"oh am i supposed to wear it?"

andrew rolls his eyes and bends down, switching neil's old sneakers for a new pair of running shoes he found

allison nearly coos at the sight of the terrifying andrew minyard tying his boyfriend's shoelaces with such a focused look

neil loves the shoes. allison buys them for him. and maybe she approves of andrew just a little bit more

third: after a few more stores, allison is at the final stop of her experiment — clothes shopping for neil

she spends an agonizingly long hour searching for clothes neil might actually wear, but when she goes to give it to him, he's nowhere to be found

frantically, she combs through the store again, already thinking of private investigators to hire to find him

suddenly, allison spots his bright hair against the wall in the far corner of the store

she races over there, ready to give neil a piece of her mind for worrying her, until she sees what he's up to

he's kissing andrew. but it's not heavy making-out, it's not anything too explicit. it's just very adorable kissing

(allison has to bite back a laugh when she notices that andrew has to go on his toes to reach neil)

she goes to pull out her phone, but the clothes in her hand rustle, causing neil to glance her way

he winces at the massive pile of clothes, but presses a kiss to andrew's lips, then nose, before gingerly taking the clothes to try on

allison squints at andrew upon seeing the nose kiss. he scowls at her and promptly walks away in the direction neil left to

allison considers the sight she just saw. surely andrew wouldn't be willing to be so openly soft if he was just playing neil, right? right.

(damn, maybe renee did know some things after all)

allison gives a pleased smile — maybe andrew really is okay for neil — before suddenly remembering the bet that she's probably going to lose soon

but she doesn't mind losing some money anymore; she has plenty of it

all allison wants is for neil to be happy. and if andrew brings him happiness— well, she doesn't really understand neil's taste, but she supports it anyway

fuck. when did she get so soft?

[fuzzballsheltiepants]

Hi,.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from AFTG series? And why do you love them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the novels? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

ooh asking me to narrow things down, I love your bold choice! Thanks for the ask!

here goes, top 5 characters (I kind of hate that they're all men but oh well):

Andrew Minyard. I know he's an asshole; I know he's morally grey; I know he's violent at times. But he has an internal logic, an internal morality that does not match that of the world around him because his life has absolutely sucked. Though he rarely lets himself care, when he does, it's passionate and with his whole soul. He's a survivor, an endurer, probably neurodivergent, and that's something I can understand. He's also funny as hell, something I try to lean into when I write him!

Neil Josten. A survivor in a totally different way from Andrew. Where Andrew shuts down and endures what he must, Neil fights - often to his own detriment. He's so quick to pick up on things, he's so freaking smart in so many ways, he's complicated and messy in a way that is so real. I love the wry awareness in his voice because he knows when he's being a dumbass and yet he does it anyway. Plus, y'know, he was one of the first voices that resonated with my own when it came to attraction or lack thereof and made me go hm, perhaps I am ace-spec...

David Wymack. Look, the man's heart is far too big, he loves broadly and without judgement or fear. I know he's gruff, like the rest of the Foxes he can be kind of a dick, he's ableist at times at least in his language. But he believes in his little crew of fucked-up kids, he believes they deserve a chance not to prove they can be normal, but to prove that they deserve respect and love despite the fact that they're not.

Jean Moreau. We see so little of him, but he's just as much a survivor as Andrew and Neil. He's dramatic in a way that makes me suspect he's whistling in the dark - he's finding a way to be himself despite the abuse he endures. And while some of his taking care of Neil at the Nest was because he had to, there's reason to suspect that part of it was because he gets something out of caring for another. Maybe it reminds him that he's human.

Nicky Hemmick. He reminds me so much of queer kids I grew up with, people who leaned into and embraced stereotypes as soon as they were free of their abusive, homophobic parents because it was a way of asserting their identities. I know he seriously fucked up at Eden's, and he doesn't understand Andrew at all, but he suffered so much abuse, he went through so much, and he came through just wanting to help others who are also suffering. He gave up a good, happy life to take care of Aaron and Andrew, the former who he barely knew and the latter who he'd never met. He's a Fox through and through.

Top 5 moments in the books, in no particular order:

When Andrew came back for Neil when Neil called him during his panic attack, culminating in the kiss on the roof. Andrew's steadiness in that entire scene, the way he's just there for Neil while Neil is shutting down, and then the "I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine" line... It shows how hard Andrew is working on his mental health and recovery, that he understands that as much Neil means to him he can't be everything because nobody can be everything for another person. But it also is when Andrew first makes it clear how much Neil means and just, oh, my heart.

Wymack picking up Neil from the airport and the entire scene afterward. Wymack being the one person Neil knew he could call, who he knew would pick him up and give him what he needed in that moment, after Neil was so afraid of him at the beginning. The fact that Neil looked totally different, and yet Wymack still instantly knew who he was. That Neil let himself fall asleep so deeply that he didn't wake up when being carried into the fucking apartment, because he knew he was safe. It's a huge breakthough and gets me in the heart every time.

The Baltimore reunion scene in the motel. Not sure I need to explain this one, but I think the line "I have to go, I don't trust them to give you back" sums it all up.

The shower scene. The intimacy they allow themselves there - not just physical, but emotional; the reconnection; Neil's desperation to know that Andrew still wants him, his need to just make Andrew look at him, his relief when Andrew opened up to him. Then the tenderness after, Andrew being careful when drying him around his injuries, and Andrew wearing his clothes, it's too much.

Nicky and Neil in the library. Nicky telling some of his story, us (and Neil) getting to understand more of what he went through and why that makes him so desperate for Neil not to think he's all on his own or to become too dependent on Exy. This is where we get the sense that Nicky understands at least the edges of Neil's mental health struggles, where he makes the connection between his own depression and suicidal tendencies and how letting other people in and finding people he could trust saved him. He sees Neil struggling and wants the same for him, and it always moves me. Then there's Neil immediately thinking of Andrew as being someone he can let in and trust and then going, no no, I can't (HA! you thought)

[morrithal]

Anyway girls.... Check Please/All For the Game live reaction starts here

Blacklist "college sports fuckery" if you want but don't because I'm funny

Installment 1: CP Episodes 1&2 and The Foxhole Court Chapter 1

(under the cut bc it's very long. Also warning for flashing GIF)

Hey Eric Bittle is a very cute young man and I am adopting him. But also you can tell this comic started in (checks date) wait 2017?? I thought for sure he'd be saying ermahgerd here

Southern people calling northerners Yankees.... Like I know Bitty is a good boy but. Triggering behavior

Like I read a romance book that takes place post-civil war and the heroine is a southern woman who tracks down the hero bc she thinks he killed her brother in the war... Anyway long story short she was REAL proud to be southern and no they did not bring up slavery the whole book

Anyway I hate the word Yankees it makes me feel like you're... You Know

One of the first instances we see of Shitty he's calling Bitty "ya lil fucker" sir, your hand in marriage NOW!!

Also I'm surprised there weren't more instances of people making Bitty-and-Shitty jokes??? They are literally rhyming

RANSOM SAYS PUSSY?? TWICE RIGHT IN HIS INTEO PANEL HELLO??

Okay! Young love!

Conclusion: they are baby

.... Why am I scared to open this kindle book

I'm doing the hype up hyperventilation here we go

"Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother. If he inhaled slowly enough, he could almost taste the ghost of gasoline and fire." so it really is like this from the very beginning

You put the killing thing in your mouth and you don't give it the power to kill you etc etc

Hello 2013 I've missed you

But really though I tried to read that to Roommate and I literally could not get through it. Everyone ask @esgaypism. I'm roping you into this

"It fell to the bleachers between his shoes and was whisked away by the wind. He glanced up at the sky, but the stars were washed out behind the glare of stadium lights." "A crew was already dismantling the court, unhinging the plexiglass walls and rolling Astroturf over the hard floor. When they were done it'd be a soccer field again" Nora Nora Nora. I am dying to know if we are fucking outside or inside. What is the purpose of putting an Exy field outside instead of inside except to have this scene where Neil is pensively smoking because he can't do that inside. I am in hell and my brain is also in hell

She wants me to believe that this town has less than nine hundred people and can still afford, and can scrounge up the players, to play this highly dangerous, clearly expensive, and /less than 25 year old sport--/

22 names in eight years... I love Neil Josten, I adore Neil Josten, he IS at the end of the day somebody's edgy 2013 oc

Immediately we know from this first chapter that his mom is dead and he associates her with cigarettes and gasoline, and that his dad is in prison and Neil will quite Literally Die if they meet again. Okay!

Again... If we are outside why is he trying to escape through the locker room... You manufacture scenarios to achieve images that appear in your head. I know this well

"Andrew Minyard didn't look like much in person, blonde and five feet even, but Neil knew better. Andrew was the Foxes' freshman goalkeeper and their deadliest investment." gotta admit. Short King Actual Murderer Rights. If I actually liked Andrew this moment would mean more to me

Every time Nora calls them "man" I feel the need to bite something. At 18 you are a baby. These are kids, my god

Girl there is literally so much exposition and backstory here. Also why are you, a man, watching so closely the careers of other men,

The fact that there are EXY LITTLE LEAGUES--

I was expressing my love of Kevin Day to Roommate and they were like "of course you love him, he's you" now what the fuck does that mean

"If Kevin remembered him, he'd know that file was a lie. He'd know about Neil's little league teams. He'd remember the scrimmage interrupted by that man's murder." I fully forgot about this. This is an insane thing to write and then immediately move on from what the fuck

Wymack... Dilf of the year 2013 I love this man

"It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation." Hey, it's the quote from the 5,000 orange and white and black edits!

Well! Um, this was not as nice and even as I would like, but as I recall the CP episodes get longer as they go, and I'll get quicker on the AFTG chapters as they get less Expository. For now though I'm going to rest my brain, and I leave you with this summary thus far:

Bitty: howdy YouTube! I'm a vlogger from the south, and I play hockey, and I'm clearly gay and I'm Not like the other boys. I hope they like me...

Wymack: join my sports team

Neil: NO I am eighteen and I have a batshit amount of trauma and I'm going to explain all of it and who two of the other major characters are in excruciating detail via internal narration

Wymack: join my sports team

Neil: fine. FUCK! Okay.

[altruistic-meme]

AFTG fic recs

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite fanfics for aftg, for no real reason other than I want more people to read them and send their love to the authors :) 

Under a readmore because it got. A little long. But please enjoy!

WIPs

Dangerous Habits by LovelyLittleGrim ( @lovelylittlegrim )

Andrew has run into problems while on undercover jobs before. None of those problems were anything like the troublesome runaway that is one Nathaniel Wesninski

Aka: the fic where Andrew is undercover as a hitman for hire and Neil is the guy who hires him. Things get complicated from there.

Undercover Andrew? BAMF Neil? Hitman AU?? Absolutely. I’m in love. The story is just *chef kisses*

Chapters: 8/9

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, past rape/non-con, Drake Spear (who is his own warning), Butcher Neil, 

--

Negotiations by elesary ( @elesary )

This is what Andrew Minyard knows: his brother is dead, killed by a petty Raven prince who has never learned to keep his hands off of Andrew's things. His brother's daughters are his responsibility, a job that is made infinitely harder when their shitty grandparents want custody. Nathaniel Wesninski is a liar, but he might be the only way to avenge Aaron and protect his nieces. All Andrew has to do is watch Nathaniels - Neil's- back as he carves out his own life and identity from everyone who thinks they own him.

Andrew has always been good at upholding his end of the bargain, has he finally found someone willing to uphold theirs?

This fic has got me fucked up, honestly. I’m emotional over it. It’s fantastic.

Chapters: 11/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, attempted sexual assault, Butcher Neil,

--

the upper hand by plantelty ( @plantelty  )

Shortly after losing his mother, Neil arrives in the small town of Palmetto, South Carolina, alone in the world and with an impossible plan to carry through.

At the age of eighteen, Andrew ends up helping a boy stage his own death.

-

Just two fucked up boys learning to trust each other during the course of a summer, but also: multiple references to songs, twinyard angst (Nicky tries his best), The Plotting of Neil Josten's Gruesome Demise, and shit hitting the fan in a variety of ugly ways!

The cliffhanger has got me on the edge of my seat, but it is 100% worth the read and the wait for the last chapter!! 

Chapters: 10/11

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon typical violence, 

--

The Butcher’s House by Fire_Bear ( @fire-bear )

Andrew thought something was odd with the house the Foxes had to move into after their Athletes' House had been burnt down. He just wasn't prepared for what was actually wrong with it.

For this was a house full of monsters.

Ghost story! Ghost story! Ghost story! I literally think about this fic every other day, it’s fantastic. 

Chapters: 6/?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: character death (major or minor is unclear), injuries, 

--

Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary ( @elesary​ )

Neil is caught by the police with Mary's burning body and is sent to juvie in Oakland where he is assigned to share a cell with one Andrew Doe, who promises him Exy, if only Neil will tell him all of his secrets. With no access to tinted contacts and hair dye, he agrees, it's only a matter of time until he's killed after all. What does he have to lose?

But Andrew's found someone who knows what a promise means, and he'll be damned if he lets that go without a fight.

Ngl this is definitely in my very top favorites -- I LOVE the idea of Neil and Andrew meeting pre-series, and this fic just BLEW my expectations for that plotline out of the waters

Chapters: 14/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Underage, attempted rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, 

~~~~~~~~~

Complete

The Nameless Monster by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Nathaniel Wesninski wants nothing more than to see his father dead and buried. But when his father promises him the title of The Butcher, Nathaniel quickly realizes that his destiny of following in his father's footsteps is closer than ever before.

So of course, when he gets forced to go undercover for the Baltimore police, he starts seeing what living could truly be.

-

Andrew Minyard is a newly recruited police officer for the worst precinct in Baltimore, who is dedicated on hunting down the notorious Butcher and his unnamed underling. But when Neil Josten is thrown into his midst as his civilian consultant; he starts to realize some things don't quite appear as they seem.

I love the story telling -- the secret identities, the plotting, everything.

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Butcher Neil, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced slef-harm (I believe there is a scene that is somewhat detailed on this subject), some characters also get drugged at one point, 

-- 

that’s just something people say by nanatsuyu ( @theoctopusnods )

Neil makes the mistake of stealing the wrong car. Andrew makes the mistake of offering a ride to a liar. They both make the mistake of turning the whole affair into a road trip ‘home.’

Gonna be honest; the summary does not give a big idea as to what is in store and i am SO GLAD I gave this one a try so i’m telling you that you will be too

Chapters: 24/24

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks (somewhat grahic descriptions of)

--

The Story After You by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Andrew Minyard does not understand how Riko Moriyama landed Neil Wesninski.

How the snot-nosed, small dick, rich brat, second son of the Moriyama family who also just so happened to own the largest EXY gear and merchandiser company in the world “RAVEN” - had landed smart mouthed, quick witted, stupidly blue eyed Wesninski, was beyond him. Well, unless Wesninski was a gold digger, but Andrew doubted it.

-

Or; how Andrew Minyard says he doesn't get into messy situations, until he meets Neil and suddenly he is in the most messiest possible situation ever imagined in his life - oh and also, he might be becoming a homewrecker.

Ok I am behind bc I haven’t read the final chapter of this but!! I love the story, it’s very emotional and moving, and I love the characterization in it.

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Abusive Riko/Neil, abusive relationship, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/reference child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, graphic depictions of violence, some descriptions of injuries/scarring, 

-- 

This Complicated Life by 5a5b5p5 ( @andrewsbutterflyknife )

“This is exactly why I don’t want you and Andrew to meet,” Aaron says grumpily. “You two would get along far too well.”

Neil grins. “I just like pissing you off,” he says, “It’s not my fault your brother does such a good job at it.”

—

Neil doesn’t expect much from his Sophomore year of college, but when he becomes a waiter at the Palmetto Bistro, his life gets a whole lot more interesting. As it turns out, maintaining friendships new and old as well as navigating an interesting relationship with the head chef of the restaurant—who just so happens to be his best friend’s twin brother—is a lot more complicated than he’d thought it would be.

A much more light-hearted fic than most of the others! Includes a secret relationship, and also chef Andrew >>

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

When I Fade, Keep Me in Your Memory by demesh 

Neil Josten has a secret: he can flicker out of existence.

He can vanish with the turn of a thought; click his fingers, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. Invisible and untouchable, he becomes a living ghost.

Having promised his mother never to let his ability go, Neil teeters the line between faded and real, a person and an echo. He can’t risk getting hurt.

But then, one day, someone sees him when they shouldn’t be able to.

 A (flower-shop) AU about how a faded and lonely Neil finds it in him to become someone real.

Another fic that I need to catch up on ;; but anyway it’s amazing and I love Neil’s ability in it, it’s so well explained and well-written about

Chapters: 12/12

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, panic attacks

--

12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 ( @knickknacksandallthat )

Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan – or do they?

Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.

But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.

The romance-trope-filled fanfic of my dreams. Sometimes you just need a fic of pure joy -- this is that fic. 

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

finders keepers by moonix ( @annawrites ​ )

Andrew meets Nathaniel through a scavenger hunt app. As their team takes part in a hunt that sends each of them to creepy, abandoned places alone to solve clues and gain points, Andrew and Nathaniel begin a little treasure hunt of their own. The anonymity of getting to know each other in small increments, never meeting face-to-face, allows them a level of intimacy neither are used to. Meanwhile Renee’s friend Neil is acting weird whenever Andrew shows up…

This was one of the first fics I read for aftg!! And BOY what a great start!! All of the little pieces and parts that work together, and just the scavenger hunt itself is fantastic! (I also REALLY wanna know if there is an app like this out there because I would be down to do that)

Chapters: 8/8

Rating: Mature

Warnings: (these all come from the author:) “mentions of historical abuse in a mental asylum, mentions of suicide, mentions of murder and kidnapping, morbid facts, creepy abandoned places including a haunted house at a theme park with disturbing rooms, special appearance of a creepy clown doll, fatphobia and some introspection on body image/complicated relationship with food, mention of self harm scars”

-----

Scared to Live (But I’m Scared to Die) by Major_816 ( @major816 )

Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.

~

"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.

"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."

Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.

"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."

~

The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.

It is VERY dark, and is one of very few fics that I have actually been almost unable to read one of the scenes, so DEFINITELY pay attention to the warnings -- both these, and the ones provided for each individual chapter. I did go through the fic to collect as many warnings as I could find in the chapter warnings, but be sure to take care of yourself.

Chapters: 36/36

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: rape/non-con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, discussions of rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, graphic descritions, physical abuse, panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (often graphic), psychological warfare, dissociating, psychological torture, physical torture, use of knives, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, pain-induced delirium, rape/non-con, emotional self-separation, suicidal ideation/thoughts of suicide, emotional distress (which sums up the whole fic and also me while reading it), handcuffs/chains used as restraints, referenced/implied abuse towards animals, vomitting, begging, excessive use of painkillers, drowning, waterboarding, physical restraint, mutilation of an animal, mild hallucinations, non-con drugging, sleep deprivation, starvation, humiliation, the Butcher, 

Also one of the first fics I read and 100% my absolute favorite fic!!! Which is adfjhsd a little worrying, considering, but it is what it is. Anyway. This fic absolutely wrecked me, and while it is technically complete, there is a sequel in the works! So! But I am so so excited for the sequel, and I am working on rereading this. It’s amazing. 1000/10.

[play-exy-be-sexy]

the foxes roles in the gc

Neil:

Replies when necessary or if he is in a good mood.

It's always short replies.

If it's an ongoing conversation he'll say one thing and then leave.

It usually goes something like this:

"Oh! Neil's active, hi Neil!"

"Hi, I agree with Renee."

...

"Wait, did he leave already?"

Andrew:

You probably guessed this already but he never answers.

Even if the question is directed at him he won't say anything.

Occasionally you may get a yes or no.

Or he'll like the message but that's it.

The poor foxes will always get their hopes up when his little texting bubbles show up.

But he literally just key smashes to make them think he's going to say something.

Asshole, yeah we know.

Neil finds it funny so Andrew keeps doing it.

Kevin:

Kevin won't engage in "meaningless" conversation.

If the messaging is about exy, he'll always be one of the first to answer.

But as soon as it turns to something else he's gone.

Unless it's to correct someone's spelling mistakes.

He never fails to do that.

He's constantly messaging the foxes reminders and updates and their schedules.

He texts very professionally though.

Like it's an email.

He doesn't abbreviate or anything.

Grandpa Kevin

"Good morning, a reminder to be at the gym in 10 minutes dressed and ready. Neil, if you forget your water bottle again you're running ten extra laps."

"We have a game in two days, night practice at approximately 10 p.m."

Aaron:

Aaron is worse than Andrew.

He will answer questions directed at him but only if they are very very recent and he happens to be on the group chat.

King of thumbs up

and

"OK"

Nicky:

Nicky is singlehandedly keeping the group chate alive.

He's that one person in the group chat who's constantly sending TikToks, Instagram posts, recipes, people he finds hot, Pinterest inspo boards, etc.

He's steering the conversations.

He's starting them back up when it starts to die.

He's sending cat memes 24/7.

He's ranting at 3 in the morning when no one is active.

He's giving everyone a play by play update on his day.

He's doing it all.

And we love him for that.

The others may complain about it, but they actually enjoy it.

And they know it makes Nicky happy to have people listening to him, especially when those people are his friends.

Plus, he just really loves texting and the internet.

Matt:

All the upperclassmen are active in the gc, including Matt.

I mean, it was his and Dan's idea, so they kinda have to be.

Matt types like this:

Y do u h8 me, Kev?

"Maybe, it's because you type like you are incapable of spelling out 'you'."

He's also the local meme provider.

Any kind of meme you want, Matt probably has it saved in his camera roll.

LOTS of exy memes.

He saves those for when Neil or Kevin haven't been saying anything for a few days.

Sometimes he'll get scared to send one.

So, he runs it by Dan first.

She always tells him to send them.

He's very good at finding funny and fitting posts.

Dan:

Dan is probably the most active on the gc, other than maybe Nicky.

But the foxes tend to answer her more.

No offense to Nicky...

Her captain-y privelge transfers to text too ig.

Dan will send the gc good morning texts, reminders(ones Kevin forgets about or isn't to be bothered with), articles about the foxes, workout videos, etc.

She loves sending compilations to the group chat.

Like:

"10 Times Neil Josten Flips Off teammate, Kevin Day."

"Or Matt Boyd and Dan Wilds Cutest on Court Kisses."

"Dan didn't you mean to just send that to Matt."

"NO! I thought you all would like it!"

She also sends them not so fun things.

If a bit of bad press is released she is the first to know and immediately sends it to the gc.

Also things like:

"Traffic on the way 2 court is bad, leave early."

"Crazy man on the corner by the parking lot, be careful!"

Dan is the group chat mom and we love that for her.

Allison:

Allison will not start conversations but she is always a part of them.

LOVES to start drama in the group chat.

and talk about gossip.

"did you guys see what neil was wearing today?wtf*puke emoji*"

"Allison, I can see this."

"good, maybe you'll listen to me then.*kissy emoji*"

She likes to text just in emojis sometimes.

Lots of kissing emojis.

And middle finger ones.

She also sends selfies when she feels like it.

Or when she likes her outfit.

"Allison we don't want to see your slutty outfit."

"stfu nicky, ur just jealous.*middle finger and kissy emoji*"

She doesn't type in uppercase.

Kevin is appalled.

Overall, she's a pretty standard group chat member.

But add some *richness*

Renee:

Renee does her best to stay active on the chat.

exy and non exy related conversations.

She tries to answer every one, like the sweetheart she is.

She likes to send cute things.

and motivational things.

or aesthetic pictures.

"I thought you guys would like this picture of a baby goat, have a good day!"

She tries to send good morning messages every day.

sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't.

She tries, that's what matters.

A lot of the time the conversations are just her and Nicky.

Like in real life, she is usually the mediator when things get heated or bad.

"Allison, was the emoji really necessary?"

"reneeeee, babe, we are supposed to be on the same team!"

If she knows someone has a test or something important coming up she'll message them "good luck" on the gc.

Mainly so the others will do the same.

"Good luck on your test, Aaron!"

"Oh, yeah! You got it, man!" (Matt)

"If you pass, we can skip half our laps:)" (Dan)

"No, we will not."(Kevin)

"Literally, no one asked you Kevin."(Andrew)

"Whoa! Andrew said something!*excited squealing*" (Nicky)

*Andrew Minyard has left the group chat*

*Renee Walker has added Andrew Minyard to the group chat*

Wymack:

Matt added Wymack as a joke.

As soon as Wymack saw what it was, he left.

Nicky had the nerve to add him back though.

"Add me to this shit show one more time and I'm signing you all up for five marathons."

*sends an article about all upcoming marathons*

*Matt Boyd has kicked David Wymack out of chat*

I think this is my first super long post in ages! It started as a little post but I got inspired(which hasn't happened in a very long time either!). Anyway, I hope you like it! Also, I'm sure this has been made before so if you have done this I promise I didn't steal your idea:)

[kitkatartstuff-moved]

[Tap for better quality!! 🧡]

AHHH HELLO ITS FINALLY DONE!!! A big group photo based off of this post by @deus-ex-knoxina !!! I added little interview excerpts if y’all want to read them! They might be ooc tho,,,,

Instagram

An Interview with the Day-Josten-Minyard trio

Koam: Many were shocked by your revelation last month. I myself must admit I was taken by surprise!

Neil: Yes well, I will say it came as a surprise to me as well. I remember one day in the locker room, Kevin told me [imitates kevin] it will be easier to remain heterosexual. [Kevin rolls his eyes and Andrew scoffs] Ironic, considering where we are now.

Kevin: [chuckling] Well was I wrong? I was speaking from experience after all. On a more serious note, many athletes in the LGBTQ community face this issue. Even in today’s society, people like us are still under a lot of pressure and scrutiny.

Koam: Oh, that’s a very good point. You three have been the talk of exy fans everywhere for the past few years! Lately a lot of fans have been taking an interest to Andrew.

Andrew: My main reason for playing this stupid sport is these two idiots over here. Someone has to make sure they don’t hurt themselves. Especially Neil. He almost got red carded 4 times.

Neil: Harkey was full of shit, you know it, I know it, hell, he probably knows it too. I didn’t say anything but the truth.

Andrew: Your mouth runs faster than you do, and that’s saying something.

Neil: Anyways, don’t let him fool you, I’m sure he finds some enjoyment. He loved pissing off Bryant. 

Kevin: I’m pretty sure the whole team did. He wasn’t exactly likable.

Andrew: This is exactly what I mean, someone needs to make sure they don’t start another shitshow on Twitter.

————-

An interview with Sara Alvarez and Laila Dermott

Koam: I hear that you two have been together since college! How was your former team with your relationship?

Laila: The Trojans? Oh they were really cool about it. Very supportive. They were so oblivious when it came to Jeremy and Jean though. It was hysterical.

Sara: Jeremy was having a crisis. Even Jean with his whole stone face thing was getting a little irritated.

Koam: I see... Were they not supportive of Jeremy and Jean?

Sara: Oh, no that’s not it at all. The Trojans as a whole are very sweet and supportive, but we’re all idiot jocks at heart.

Laila: [snickering] Jean would kill you if her heard that.

Sara: Laila, He almost used the word bro while crying over his math homework. And he hangs around Jeremy all the time, it’s gonna happen if it hasn’t already.

Laia: Fair enough. You know, maybe the team was just too in love with Jeremy to accept him being in a relationship.

Sara: Oh yeah, there was that one guy who joined because he had a crush on him.

Laila: Didn’t he say he joined for his a-

Sara: AMAZING FOOTWORK. YES. Ahem. Jeremy is very good with his feet.

[Laughter]

————

An Interview with Jeremy Knox and Jean Moreau

Koam: So how was everything with you? I’m sure you two got your fair share of things to deal with after the championship game.

Jeremy: I suppose? We haven’t been very active on social media lately... Or at least I haven’t. 

Jean: I haven’t either. Things have been a little bit hectic recently.

Koam: Understandable. Forgive me if I am overstepping... But how was the transfer? I heard there was a huge scandal a few years back with the Ravens.

Jean: The Ravens were... strict to say the least. Hell, strict is an understatement. The transfer to the Trojans certainly wasn’t easy, but the Trojans surprised me. In a good way for the most part. The Ravens were very cut-throat, and you were only as good as your ability on the court. Dating as a whole was off limits, and homosexuality was even worse. But the Trojans were all about rest, and support. The final three years I spent there have helped me tremendously. And of course, Jeremy. Mon soleil.

Jeremy: [beaming] Jean adjusted really well. Some of the other team members were pretty intimidated by him though, I mean Toame compared him to Darth Vader. He’s really amazing when you get to know him. He cares a lot, you can see it if you actually look. [smiling at Jean]

Jean: [pecking him on the cheek with a smile] That I do.

[simonsrosebud]

so , what about, like getting older together , realizing that they are working for real, and maybe making it official (for the dalton au)

it’s taken me like 2 days to write this because i needed it to be right...

also i realized i read it wrong and didn’t realize u said “making it official” which i’m guessing is in relation to r*ngs but THIS IS JUST AS MUCH OF A MILESTONE FOR THEM!

kevin makes it a point to visit dalton on the weekend.  his second season with the new york blackhawks is coming to an end soon, and the deadline to make a decision about his contract is sneaking up on him.

but when he showers and climbs into dalton’s bed, he’s not the only one with news.  “okay,” dalton says.  he’s smiling, and sits up opposite of kevin.  “so i love teaching here, but- for me, at least, being three hours away from you has been the hardest thing since we’ve graduated.”  not when the moriyama’s stuffed you in a car?

kevin nods along.  they seem to be on the same page, but he’s wondering where dalton’s going with it.  “so i’ve been lining up some teaching jobs out in new york.”

what?

“can i stop you for a second?”  dalton nods, but his face starts to fall.  “new york wants to renew their contract, but i also have really good offers from south carolina, philadelphia, and florida.”

and dalton laughs and grins.  “oh- that’s amazing!”  but kevin knows what he’s thinking.  we can move halfway between the philadelphia stadium and the university.  it would only be a twenty minute drive for the both of us.

but when dalton’s smile fades again he purses his lips.  “but… you wanna go to south carolina, don’t you.”

kevin drops his head.  “i… i don’t want to ask you to leave your job, dalton.  and your whole family is up here.”

“and yours is all down there.”

kevin sighs.  he’s right, but he still can’t ask dalton to up and leave.  not if he doesn’t want to.  “i don’t know what to do,” he says.  “i’m not breaking up with you over location, that’s stupid.  i knew this kind of thing would happen eventually.”

“kevin.”  dalton grabs his chin between his thumb and pointer finger, and he’s got a soft little smile.  “i lined up jobs in new york to be closer to you.”

“i know and i’m sorry, i should have told you sooner-“

“no- i mean, i was willing to find another job there.  why not somewhere else?”  he pauses.  “if south carolina is your decision, would you let me come with you?”

kevin stares at him for a moment.  “really?”  he starts to smile.

“i did live there longer than you, when you think about it.  liked it for a reason.”  kevin can’t believe he’s willing to do that.  without even a second thought.  “carmen’s in georgia, anyway.  she’d love it.”

and kevin can’t really put into words how happy that makes him, that he won’t have to choose between dalton and his family, his chosen family.  so he tackles him into the mattress instead and lets dalton wrap his legs around his hips.

there’s only one problem left, and it’s been ringing in his head ever since he got new offers for the next season.

south carolina isn’t his highest offer.  the blackhawks renewal contract is, because they need him and because they know how valuable he is.  which is why kevin makes a call the next day.

“kevin day.  last time i spoke to you was in a car.  tell me, what did you do wrong?”

kevin’s heart is beating out of his chest.  “nothing.  i have a proposition, it has to do with my contract.”  when ichirou doesn’t answer he goes on.  “i know what you said about always accepting my highest offer, but at the moment south carolina is just below it and both neil josten and andrew minyard are signing to the team as well this season.  i’ve done the math and the press and publicity that would come of my transfer would ultimately boost my earnings higher than the blackhawks contract, which is why i’d like your permission to accept the offer to south carolina.”

he holds his breath.  it’s a full two minutes before ichirou answers.

“very well.”  and hangs up.

kevin sits stunned.  he pulls the phone away from his ear to make sure that really just happened, then looks to dalton sitting across from him at the table.  dalton raises a brow.

“i guess we’re moving?”

dalton grins.

dalton is more picky about house hunting than kevin would have expected.  apartments are different, and kevin wasn’t able to accompany him for that one.  he supposes he likes his decisiveness.  he knows what he- they want, had it in his notes on every tour.  he knows what’s practical.

there’s only a few things kevin knows he needs.  one or two spare bedrooms for when the foxes or the girls come by.  a big living room and kitchen, windows in every room, so that he doesn’t feel cramped and stuffed in.  after all, he’s still got a bit of claustrophobia left over from growing up in the dark.  literally.

he needs a yard big enough to do workouts and throw some balls around,  big enough for lilly to run around in.  kevin’s kind of excited to be living with a dog again, ever since the one summer he spent watching her.  they have the same amount of energy.

other than that, the rest is all dalton’s work.  they both have the same style, anyway.  kevin likes lavish, but he doesn’t want to live in it.  his apartment in new york is modern as all hell, but it’s never felt like a home.  the dorms?  they almost felt like home.  dalton’s house?  abby’s house?  those were homes.

kevin wants a big soft couch and a kitchen he’s not scared to get messy 24/7.  he wants to hang things on the wall, even though he doesn’t have many decorations he plans on bringing from new york.  the most of what he’s got are pictures from college.  framed photos of the team from their first championship win, a collage dalton made with pictures from graduations and banquets.  other than that, there’s no other decorations he cares to keep but a framed photoshopped diploma for “world’s okayest friend” from neil and andrew for his graduation.

anyway.

they do find somewhere, eventually.  they don’t have a ton of time, and they’re staying at abby’s while they search instead of traveling back and forth.  but they’re growing tired and honestly they feel like a burden on abby, even though they do their best to stay out of the way.

it isn’t until almost a month before preseason starts that dalton calls kevin on his way home from the gym.  “look at the link i sent you.”

so he does.  their realtor sent it to dalton barely seconds before he forwarded it to kevin.

it’s practically perfect.  and kevin’s got the money to spend, so the price doesn’t bother him.  he’d had to point that out to dalton more than once, every time they’d look at a place that seemed pricey he had to remind dalton that he had the money.  that he has more than he needs, even.

to paint a picture in your head:  it’s in a gated community, something else kevin really wanted out of paranoia now that he was going to be living with dalton.  he needed them safe.  needed him safe.

they walk in, and after a short hallway, the house opens up to the kitchen on the left and a big living room to the right.  a dining area sits past the kitchen and behind that, a sliding door to the backyard.

it’s all so bright.  

there’s three bedrooms upstairs including the master, and when kevin walks into the room he turns and holds his arms out.  “do i fit in?”

dalton grins.  “absolutely.”

they get the house.

kevin works some magic to get it sooner, and after they’re all moved in- though with a lot of work left, he leans against the garage.  dalton’s coming up the driveway after saying goodbye to matt and dan who had come along with wymack to help out.  kevin starts for him, and swipes him off his feet.  “hey!”  dalton laughs and clings his arms around kevin’s neck.

kevin carries him through the door.

dan sees it from the car as they drive away, and turns back forward.  “matthew, you didn’t carry me over the door when we moved in!”  she pinches his arm.

meanwhile, kevin tosses dalton onto the bed.  their bed.

dalton grabs his face and pulls him down.  “i love you, day.”

[91percentpynch]

if the world was ending - kevaaron au pt 6

we‘re slowly getting our happy ending i think? anyways shout out to the guys who sticked around ever since part one and encouraged me to publish the parts!! hope you enjoy this one as well! stay hydrated, eat something, feel hugged (or take a finger heart if you don‘t like physical contact) and know that i love you!! also this one‘s out of aaron‘s pov!!

the song of this part is if the world was ending by julia michaels and jp saxe

check this out for part 1-5

Aaron only planned to get to his dealer that night, just wanted the voices to stop, just wanted the feeling of numbness again

What he didn‘t want was landing in the hospital, but when did anything ever work out the way he wanted?

So when he was on the way to his dealer, tears clouding his vision, he didn‘t see the stop sign. He didn‘t notice the truck. And that was how a truck landed in the passenger side of his car, Aaron losing consciousness and somehow waking up in the ER of Chicago Hospital

„We called your emergency contact, they said they would come as soon as possible honey“, a nurse told him.

What they apparently did not know was that his emergency contact was Nicky, who left him for Germany.

Aaron wasn‘t mad. He got it. Nicky gave up so much for him and Andrew, never getting the love he deserved, he did his best.

Plus Nicky would probably call Andrew his way so he wasn‘t alone until he got the first possible flight to sit by his side for a few days before returning to his picture book perfect family.

Aaron wasn‘t mad. He really wasn‘t. He just missed his cousin. The only constant in his life, the only good part in his family.

Having a twin brother is pretty nice as well - in theory as well. Until said twin brother refuses to talk to you. Until said twin brother chooses his stupid boyfriend over you. Until you realize said twin brother doesn‘t care about you.

But Aaron couldn‘t blame him. He wasn‘t interesting enough for anyone to care about.

Aaron slipped in and out of consciousness

„I can‘t get morphime, I‘m an addict“, he said in one of his moments of consciousness. Not that he would particulary mind getting morphime, he wanted to get high after all, but Kevin‘s stupid little voice wouldn‘t let him go. „Why do you only call me when you‘re high Aaron?“, Kevin‘s face when he came to see him earlier, the day they decided to go to rehab together as friends and it ended up as them falling in love

„That‘s alright honey, we got you“, the nurse replied.

The next time Aaron woke up after that was in a white room, alone in an uncomfortable bed. Alone with his thoughts because Nicky wouldn‘t be here for at least another day. His brother was somewhere with Josten. The only person he really wanted to see refused to talk to him. Which is understandable to be fair.

Taylor, fuck he needed to tell her where he was.

Aaron was just about to look for his phone when someone kicked his door open, hurriedly crossing the room to be close to him.

Slowly Aaron raised his eyes, looking who it was. Kevin fucking Day was in his fucking room.

„You fucking idiot, what have you done?“, Kevin was close to tears, for whatever reason. Obviously not for Aaron, right?

„I don‘t need your fucking pity“, Aaron replied, shutting himself down, it was safer that way.

„Did you tell them you can‘t have morphine? Because you might relapse, i mean you already did but we don‘t want it to get worse. And this is not pity, this is Nicky yelling at me in Spanish cause you‘re in the hospital and he‘s in Germany and I‘m the closest to you and he does not want his son to be alone“, Day ever so unimpressed by Aaron‘s walls replied.

Nicky worrying about Aaron that much made the blonde feel warm inside, important, loved.

Nonetheless Aaron couldn‘t stop thinking about the person that didn‘t care to show up.

„Andrew didn‘t care to come, did he?“, Aaron‘s voice was barely audible as he hid his face in his pillow, in case those traitous tears made their way down his cheeks.

„Andrw does care about you, he‘s just shit at showing it, that fucking asshole“, Kevin replied in a soft voice, Irish accent slightly audible, the voice he used when he‘s about to be emotional or scared or mad or overall feeling strongly. „C‘mon what have you done Minyard?“

Was that worry in his voice? Could it be that he actually cared? No, no that couldn‘t be. Not when refused to talk to him.

„Car accident, not that its any of your fucking business“, Aaron replied, trying his hardest to sound as if he didn‘t care that Kevin was there with him, trying to push Kevin away, to protect his heart from another rejection.

„How are you?“, Kevin said, his Irish accent becoming a little stronger, voice thick with worry. Worry? Why would he worry about Aaron?

„Fucking great, I should let a truck drive into me more often. Very freeing. Very calming“, Aaron answered sarcastically, looking anywhere but Kevin‘s smaragd green eyes, maybe even the green of the lake they used to go in rehab, in the fluroscent light of the hospital.

„A truck. Drove into you?“, the Irish accent was now so strong Aaron could barely make out the words.

Aaron couldn‘t take it anymore, he turned around. Maybe Kevin would take the hint that he wasn‘t able to be close to him, not without being hurt, not without feeling empty. „Not that you would care“, he said, voice barely more than a breath against the pillow.

„Aaron first of all I can see you naked ass and not that I wouldn‘t mind the view and I‘ve seen it often enough but the nurses don‘t have to see that too. And secondly of course I care. I always did. Always will“

Something about Kevin mentioning Aaron‘s naked ass made the blonde boy blush as he turned back towards Kevin. Aaron didn‘t even notice that those strangers undressed him. That made him feel slightly uncomfortable.

„Why wouldn‘t you listen to me if you care so much? You‘re exactly like like Andrew, you guys only ever care when I‘m about to die or do something that doesn‘t sit right with you. Never about me as a person. The conecept about me maybe, but me? Me as a person? No one cares about that“, Aaron replied to the earlier statement, because he wanted to hurt Kevin, wanted the other boy to leave him just like the rest, just like he deserved. Aaron didn‘t need empty promises and lies - God know he had enough of those in his miserable life. Aaron didn‘t need pity or words of comfort or kindness. Aaron didn‘t need Kevin Day. Unless he did.

„You are Aaron Minyard. Born on the 4th of November, 8:31:45 am. You grew up in California in the house next to Nicky. Nicky and you were always close and you didn‘t have many friends because of your mom. Your mom might have abused her and I might hate her for that but you still love her and I get that because on some fucked up level I still care about Riko. You are allergic to cats, peanuts and house dust. You have a freckle right on your right hip, under your navel, from under your left eye over to the nose to the corner of your right eye. You like it when you are hold when you can‘t sleep but you hate showing affection in public. You were 13 when you started exy, because it gave you an escape, but you had to stop because the bruises from your mother‘s beating got to obvious. So you started getting into medicine. You borrowed every single book on medicine you could find and read it at night, always hidden from your mom. You had to have straight As or the beatings would be worse. Your mom did go out to have ice cream with you when it was especially bad. That‘s why you hate ice cream so much, especially vanillia because it was her favourite. Your secret hobby is skating. You feel free when you do it. You want to live at the coast, but not close to Cali, never back to Cali. You want Andrew to notice you and you hate how easily he let Neil in because obviously deserve it more and I get that. You tried drugs to escape, to see what was the appeal. Your uncle never helped you but he brainwashed you into believing he did. You grew up very religous and in an extraordinary homophobic household, you watched your cousin and only friend getting shipped away because he was different, not right, so you confinced yourself you were different. Heterosexual. When in reality you knew since you were 15 that you preferred guys. You liked girls as well. At least you thought but it‘s so much more complicated. Actually it isn‘t. You‘re asexual, you do however like the feeling of sex. You think the process is disgusting, but you still like the feeling. It has to be the right person though. It doesn‘t matter wether it‘s a boy or a girl or something else entierly, all that matters are the feelings the person makes you feel. It took you years to accept that you are not wrong, that you wouldn‘t have to go away like Nicky. You apologized to Nicky. You thought you had to be against their relationships, because that‘s what they made you believe. Old habits die hard. But you got over it and I am very proud of you. You sleep with a teddybear or with another person that cuddles you because the thought of being alone scares the living crap out of you. Your favourite flowers are sunflowers because yellow is a happy color. You hate sweets, you prefer salty snacks. You prefer coffee black, like your sould. You use sarcasm and humor as your coping mechanism. You stole my history books because you love history as well. You also love art but you don‘t think you are good enought to become an artist. You would love to work at Jean‘s studio but you are afraid to ask. You and Jean used to be friends but you cut him off and isolated yourself because your anxities and insecurities took over you again. Sometimes you have depressive episodes, in these you crave drugs more than normally. You want to stop it, you really do but somehow your brain tries to tell you you need it. You would love to have five dogs. An Irish Red Setter, an Irish Wolfhound, a poodle a big one though, a labrador and a golden retriever. You also want to adopt at least two kids. You don‘t want any child to go through what you had to go through or Andrew. So don‘t you dare tell me I never cared for you. Because I do. I listen when you tell me things. I remember every single time you came to me, black out drunk, crying and telling me you‘re worthless. Because every single time I wanted to tell you you aren‘t. You are a wonderful human being and I don‘t understand why I wasn‘t enough for you to stay but I will not let you tell me I never cared about you. Because that‘s some fucking bullshit“

Whatever Aaron expected to happen it certainly wasn‘t that. No one ever payed attention to him. No one ever listened to what he had to say. No one ever showed him that they cared about him. No one ever payed enough attention to him to see that he was worth their attention.

„You really did listen“, Aaron said, quietly, not able to put his feelings into words.

Aaron Minyared was never good with words. Causing pain with them? Yes. Sarcastic comments? Sure. But declearations of love? Or a simple thank you? Or really anything that would fit this situation? No, Aaron couldn‘t do that.

„Why wasn‘t I enough for you?“, the voice with tears, words hidden behind the strong Irish accent, was what made Aaron look up. Looking up into eyes the color of the lake they used to go to in their summer spend in the rehab clinic, tears falling down his beautiful cheeks, uncontrollable and messy.

„You? Not enough?“, Aaron whispered, eyes locked with the taller boy, „I was not enough. I was never enough. Not for my mother. Not for Katelyn. And certainly not for the Queen of Exy. I was never a good enough player, I was never a good enough student, I was never a good enough person. You deserve the best. Someone that loves Exy the way you do, someone as passionate and beautiful and strong as you. Not a burden. Not a no one like me. You deserve the sun, things that are bright and warm and beautiful. Not some broken, poor trailer trash. Not some drug addicted wannabe doctor. Some who can give you the love you need. Not someone struggeling to accept themselves. Not someon who can‘t even look at themselves accepting that they fell heads over heels in love with a man, struggeling to accept that, thinking someone will come and beat the shit out of them because it‘s the only thing you know. I don‘t understand the yearning, I don‘t understand the wanting, I don‘t understand the pain your absence causes me. Because I was never loved. Not properly. I mean sure I know Nicky loves me, but that‘s different. You deserves someone who‘s not too fucked up to be able to show love, not someone so fucked up they don‘t even understand the concept of love. You deserve somoene who can give you things. I can‘t offer you anything. Nothing. Nothing but a heart screaming your name. Nothing but a mind you reign. And I am so fucking sorry I ever left you without saying goodbye. I am so fucking sorry for being a coward. It was never because I stopped loving you. In the contrast. It was because there was not a single day where I thought I was good enough for you. There was not a single day the little voice in my head would shut up about how you are way to fucking good for me. You deserve so much more than I can offer you. So much more“, Aaron‘s voice broke at the last more.

„This was never your choice to make. I am a grown up fucked up man, I can decide who I can and will love very good on my own and I know you never wanted to hear it. But I chose you. I‘ve been falling in love with you ever since I met you. Started with a cute little crush. Ended up here“, Kevin said coming closer and closer to Aaron. „You talk about being so fucked up, well guess what? So am I. I am sick and tired of being seen as the Queen of Exy, of being reduced to Exy and my past alcohol problem. It‘s like I am nothing but the stick in my hand. I am nothing but the sport my mother invented. I am not even a human being anymore. At least that was what I was told. Until I met you. You and your stupid sarcatic remarks. The thougt of you seeing me was enough for me to keep trying to impress you somehow, make you see something worth keeping. But it was never enough. It would never be enough for someone to stay“

„Kevin Day. Born on the 22nd February 1986. Excuse me I don‘t know the exact time but about 7:15 pm. Your favourite color is red, not the Ravens red, the deep dark red of the Trojans because you associate it with Jeremy Knox and he was some kind of fucking sun in the nest. You had something with Jean in the nest. Riko that absolute fucking asshole somehow found out and tried to force you to do terrible things to Jean. But you couldn‘t do it. Not because you are weak like you like to think, no because you are kind and have heart of gold. I can‘t believe I just said that I want to vomit. Eww. Anyways you have massive self-esteem issues because you either think you‘re a walking failure or you have a god complex and there is no fucking in between and I love that about you. You have a constellation of freckles on your back and a little tattoo on your left hip. It‘s a little sun and a little moon on the right. Because you love the sun because it‘s bright and warm and you like that. The moon is far away, it‘s cold and lonely. The sun is your mother. You are the moon. Over your heart you have your mother‘s signature tatooted. Because she watches over you and unlike mine you actually can associate nice things with her. You want to move to Ireland once you retire. Because you want to be closer to your mom. You have your whole ass wedding planned already, because you love planning events like that. It‘s like your fucking secret superpower. You think cows are adorable and you want to pet one so badly. You are scared of chickens and swans and ducks. You are lactose intolerant and you have sport indicated asthma. You don‘t like when other people touch your arms and your back. You like forhead kisses. You like holding hands. You like showing affection, but not in public because you‘re scared what people think of you. You pretend to be arrogant and an asshole but it‘s all just walls around yourself to protect you. Secretly you just want someone to see right through it. Unlike me you do actually paint and you love photography. I know you rented a secret little atelier. Your favourite historical period is the 20th centuriy and you are oddly obsessed with eastern european and Irish history. You love horses. You love cows. You want to do horse riding once. You try so very hard to be more than just Exy. Hyperfixations are your coping mechanism. And spontaniously buying like 10 books. You love reading. You love tea. Your favourite genere is in fact not historical fiction but fantasy fiction based on history. You love rambling about random historical facts and I loved listening to it. You love soft kisses more than the hungry ones. You hate that people want you for your body, not your personality. You hate being sexualized. You hate being an object. You hate your title. But at the same time you love it. You just want to make your mother proud. And your dad. Right now you‘re wearing your mother‘s ring around your neck. Wymack found it somewhere and gave it to you. You haven‘t put it down ever since. You want to paint your nails because you think it looks pretty but you worry too much what people would think about you. You listen to classical music. You play the violin and the piano. You learned it at Palmetto somehow. You learned it because your mother used to play the fiddle, said it made her think of Ireland somehow, and when you were sad she played you some Irish lullabies on it. You love the Irish culture. You love Ireland. And your biggest dream is to get married on one of Ireland‘s cliffs. Because the ocean calms you down. Helps your anxiety. In summer your face is covered in freckles and not only your face. Oddly. You actually love swimming. Or sitting at the water. Looking at it. You collect books. You collect stones. You collect whatever you think is beautiful. You also like collecting shells. You hate to label yourself but you always preferred boys. There are days where you feel more feminie, days where you feel more masculine and days where you feel like neither. Today is a masculine day I see. Jeremy made you braclets when you

told him you were like him. You feel terrible about leaving Jean back but you also know that it was necessary. You are strong and beautiful and I know you canno see that and I know you don‘t want to hear that. You are more than your body. You are so much more. And the only reason I was stupid enough to leave you was because I thought I was not good enough. And an unhealthy amount of internalized homophobia. I just hear my mother‘s voice inside my head when I hold your hand or kiss you and I hate that. The moment I had to sleep without you the voices grew louder and it didn‘t even take a week before I had to find a dealer. I called you when I was high because the voides were silent. I called you when I was high because admitting that I missed you and that I need you was easier than. The two to four hours I slept were filled with you. In my dreams you were with me. You kissed me. You held me in these ridicously strong hands. You were with me and the world was okay. And when I woke up and you weren‘t here I just didn‘t want to get up. My grades got worse because I wasn‘t able to concentrate without you. Yes I am able to funciton without you, it was just nice to have something good in my life once. And yes I will be able to keep it up without you. A B or C here and there won‘t hurt too much. I will probably be able to become the neurologist I want to be. I will get through life. It will just not be the same. It will just be grey and black and white. With you I had colors“

„That was hard for you to say right?“, Kevin asked, tears still silently running down his cheeks.

Aaron nooded, watching as Kevin‘s face came closer and closer until he could feel his breath against his cheeks.

He was about to ask someone as a loud knock was on the door and the door was opened rather aggressivly, making Kevin get away quickly.

[1m-meows-morales]

Happy birthday Laiba!! @dianabarryy I tried to write a fic, but I couldn’t think of anything so instead take these messy headcannons. Sorry this is late and I hope you had the best birthday ever lovely!! You deserve it 💕

- Ok so the Josten- Minyard rivalry exists.

- The whole world thinks that Neil and Andrew HATE each other. Neil and Andrew fuel the fire by absolutely ROASTING each other on Twitter.

- Now imagine them doing fairy tweets.

- Stuff like ‘🧚‍♀️💫Neil Josten did something by getting kidnapped 💫🧚‍♀️💕 lets hope he does it again🧚‍♀️💕’ or ‘💖🌠you did it, Andrew, you ruined all 5 years of high school for me💫💖’ (sorry I’m really bad at these)

- And then one day Andrew says something random like ‘🧚‍♀️🌠the stick says exy player, but the skills say undecided💕💫’ and the foxes. just. lose it.

- They still think that Andrew Hates Neil with a capital H but really his I hate yous/ junkies are I love you

- So basically, they make it this long- ass thread and completely obliterate Andrew.

- Aaron joins in of course but not because he likes Neil, Aaron will just take any excuse to roast his brother.

- Obviously, Matt is at the forefront of this because no one treats his precious boy like that.

- The foxes are kind of scared of Andrew but whatever, its four against one, Andrew can’t do anything, right?

- By the foxes I mean just Matt, Dan, Allison and Aaron because Renee kinda knows and she wouldn’t get involved anyway and Nicky has walked in on Andrew and Neil once and he hopes he never does again because if looks could kill, Andrew would have been charged with manslaughter.

- Kevin kind of doesn’t care “Whatever, I’m going to practice, see ya later!”

- And so it ensues,

- Matt starts it by tweeting ‘🧚‍♀️💕Confidence is key,💗💫 looks like someone changed the lock for Andrew🌠🧚‍♀️’

- They all know how to roast people because they’ve been roasting anyone who talks shit about their past

- Of course, none of their roasts come near to the roast of the century, "you know I get it-"

- And then Allison is like ‘💕💫Andrew’s never found true love, 🌠🧚‍♀️lets keep it that way💖💫’

- Then Dan says something like ‘❤💫Andrew was born on the road🧚‍♀️❤ because that’s where accidents happen💖💫’.

- This sparks a war. All of Neil’s fans are roasting Andrew and vice versa (y’all know people are in love with Andrew’s mysterious persona)

- ‘💖💫Some people say you can achieve anything if you try, 🧚‍♀️🌠they weren’t talking about you, Josten💖✨’

- So this goes on for a hot minute until eventually Andrew says ‘💫❤If you’re good at something,🌠💖 it sure isn’t kissing🧚‍♀️✨’ or something along those lines because he isn’t thinking and he loves insulting Neil and everyone is like 👀

- And then Neil, because he can’t keep his mouth shut, totally outs them by replying ‘I remember you saying you love it’ and again everyone is like 👀

- Andrew just types the rolling eyes emoji and idiot

- He then proceeds to drive over to Neil’s flat (which takes like 6 hours)

- “I came here to see the cat”

- You can guarantee that a yes or no ensues

BONUS

- Once a live show host brought Neil in under the pretence of talking about his career and really, she just grilled him for details about the Josten- Minyard rivalry because it was the talk of the season. Then she pulled a Kathy Ferdinand. “Actually, we have Andrew Minyard here now!” (Andrew was forced to go by his coach). Neil had to act like he hated Andrew. Andrew was also secretly dying inside.

[awfullyaster]

andrew and neil are switches, don’t you forget it

ok hi here for my (probably) daily aftg rant,,,,so i’m seeing that the majority of the fandom (as far as i’ve seen anyway)--or fics/fanart consisting of andreil doing the do--view neil as a power bottom ?

am i incorrect? are my resources false? idk bout u but so far i’ve only seen like one fic where neil is the top/penetrator (!mao is that even a real word idk but it sounds weird haha cute ok anyway)

and honestly, i have to disagree. i do. i’m not trying to push andrew’s boundaries by saying that neil could top, i’m just saying that y’all don’t give neil enough credit.

liek,,,,,bro,,,,,do you not see the amount of top energy neil mf josten radiates ???? like, yes, we know andrew takes the lead but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’d top forever ?????

( just a proposition, ofc but this is just my opinion based on observations--yet again ) 

( and tbh i had difficulty trying to figure who was the top and who was the bottom between them when i encountered the first hint of intimate growth in their relationship--to the point where i had to ask my best friend who hadn’t a clue what aftg was prior to (that’s when the aftg rants officially started/ignited) and it took some time/proper discussion/consideration but he first came up with the conclusion that andrew was a sub top and that neil was a power bottom )

as for yours truly, i came to the conclusion that they are both switches (some time after i finished reading).

i mean,,,,,,can you really just look at neil josten--wholly, like his entire personality, attitude (problem !), traits, &c and decide on the spot that he’s a bottom ??? how ??? how the hell do you come up with that ?????

and hear me out, i have evidence/reasons:

one) The Great Riko Roast™️. need i say more? 

(if elaboration is necessary:

keep in mind that neil (this literal fucking nobody) burned riko (supposedly the king of exy or whatever the fuck, who cares) to ground on the spot (no script, just his attitude problem (mwah i love him) and pure spite)

again, he burned him to the ground on live television, publicly humiliating riko with each and every word

idk bout u but i am so damn sure andrew found out right then n there that this bitch radiates top energy for fucking sure (or, in his words, isn’t spineless)

neil committing arson via verbal attacks is just---splendid. absolutely mesmerizing. flawless. truly inspiring. gamechanging. glorious. 

he’s so rude i love him

anyway )

two) neil can shut up andrew up without having to touch or kiss him. he can leave him speechless. with just his words. 

(yes, we know anybody & everybody knows better than to touch andrew but like i mean he wouldn’t have to fight him or whatever) (and he doesn’t have to kiss him to shut him up--though he definitely can--he doesn’t have to because that’s just how fucking powerful he is)

y’all,,,,,are you ready for one of the most amazing lines i believe we all know and love,,,,,

““You have a problem wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."

“This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless.”

“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”

“And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him.

[...andrew had his hand frozen mid-air...(i forgot the rest)]”

if this does not prove dominance to you, i don’t know what to tell you. (HE WAS MERELY SPEAKING AND ANDREW COULD NOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING-- A N Y T H I N G --TO SAY BACK BC IT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK AND HE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING AND THAT’S WHY HE SEES NEIL AS INTERESTING/WHY HE ‘HATES’ HIM SO MUCH BRO I)

hOweVeR

i know that dom bottoms exist (i think so, anyway) or bottoms that radiate top energy/the position (i.e. bottom,top) energy you radiate can be entirely different from what position you really are/are comfy with and that these are just words but that brings me to my following point,

three) (#1 insitgator, he, oh yes, neil josten, yes indeed) his unexpected (and to be frank, quite thrilling) acts of asserting dominance ?????? um ????

(when they were kith kithing next to the kitchen (next to kitchen) in neil’s dorm room) “[neil felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and against the wall it was obnoxiously loud. he already knew it was his daily countdown, but he already knew how much little time he had left. he didn’t need to reminded, especially now...andrew took it out of his back pocket and offered it to neil, pulling away from his mouth. neil took the phone from andrew’s hand and threw it across the living room, not taking his eyes off andrew. andrew watched as the phone bounced off the couch and onto the carpet. neil kissed his neck in attempt to distract him and was rewarded by a startled jolt which was enough reason to do it again. and even though andrew pushed his face away, they were close enough for neil to not miss how andrew shivered.]” 

b r o ,,,,,,,,,,,, bro,,,,,,it just--

(when they were alone in the bus otw to that one away game--belmonte, i think?) “[“i wonder when coach found out about this,” neil prompted. 

“there is no ‘this’.”

“i wonder when coach found out you only want to kill me ninety-three percent of the time.”

neil retraced his steps and had a moment of realization. before andrew left for easthaven, neil had told andrew to trust him and not ‘neil’. 

“it was before you left,” neil started... 

“coach doesn’t believe what other people want him to believe, he believes what he sees,” andrew replied...

“are you going to tell them?” neil was referring to the rest of the team, and this was up to him, whether they’ll be out or not. 

“i won’t have to. renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality.”

neil knew that matt mentioned that there were bets on about him, but he didn’t know it was about this.

“it’s a waste of time and money. they’ll all lose. i’ve said all year that i don’t swing and i meant it. kissing you doesn’t make me look any of them differently. the only one i’m interested in is you.”

“don’t say stupid things.”

“make me.” and with that, neil grabbed a fistful of andrew’s hair and pulled him in.]” 

dude,,,,,,,,,he can take control,,,,,he can,,,,he can lead, too, but he follows andrew’s because he’s a good boy and he knows how important it is. he improvises and uses what he has and takes control from there. dude. dude. 

three) honestly? i think andrew likes it. neil’s unexpected acts of confidence,,,kinda leaves him on the edge of his seat yk,, like doesn’t it increase his percentage? it does, right? cuz ik it did when andrew guided neil to touch his chest and neil emulated andrew’s words, “i won’t be like them. i won’t let you let me be.” (i love them bye) but liek,,,,yeah idk andrew liking neil’s neck kisses/fetish kinda tells me he likes it so maybe this isn’t concrete evidence particularly but i’m still including it because andrew’s a switch, idc what anyone says, 

four) i lost my train of thought but i ran out of reasons--on the spot, anyway--so i might come back to this if i do but just to make it clear:

andrew minyard is a switch. (it just takes time, like a lot, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily impossible/never gonna happen.)

neil josten is a switch. (he respects andrew’s boundaries and doesn’t push him, he’s fine being guided, but it doesn’t mean he can’t take the initiative himself (and i forgot to mention it but re: when he asked andrew if he doesn’t like to be touched in general or if it’s a trust thing + many more times, before & after their first kiss, i believe, my brain is just empty rn) and i just think that deserves more recognition)

so !! 

(this post is a mess, (i always am but today’s just worse) i know, and i’m sorry)

in conclusion,

let neil top andrew !! they deserve it !! 

(not that vice versa is bad, but this isn’t either, yk, just saying. also, i hope this isn’t too late to say in the post, but i do not, i repeat, i do not, intend to pressure any content creator--fic writers, fan artists, editors, &c--to create content this particular way only,,,,okay,,,gotta make that unequivocally clear. and i’m not saying andrew topping neil is bad or overrated, because i know that when it comes to them, sex in general would take some time, especially neil topping andrew, but i think they deserve that freedom, yk. again,,,,this is just my personal opinion. no insisting statements here, just wish for freedom to speak my mind, that is all. also feel free to interact if you agree/disagree or both !! i’m willing to hear anyone’s comments or thoughts or whatever !! i hope i’m talking to a brick wall here ahah) 

bro brain poop rn

anyway

tl/dr: bro let neil top (not necessarily on top, but that works, too--either/or--or both, if y’all dare ;DD (kill me) (but like srsly) (let neil top) (plz) :))

(also somewhat off topic but might anyone have access to some fics in which consist of neil first getting andrew off ??? i randomly remember it from ms. sakavic’s extra content page and i would like to see what the fandom offers, if y’all don’t mind)

im so mean and insistent on my aftg-related opinions now that i think about it

whoops

[darkblueboxs]

If you're taking requests, maybe the foxes reacting to soft andreil? I love seeing their relationship through outside perspectives

Sorry for the delay! I ended up with two very different ideas for this and wrote both of them. I’ll be posting the other one in the next week or so! [EDIT: Here it is!]This was great fun to write. Thank you for the request.

In the Eye of the Beholder

Read here or on AO3

.

#1 Dan

Dan raps her knuckles against the door to the monster’s flat and waits. Nicky greets her with an impressive mop of bedhair and a baffled expression which smooths over only when Neil darts past, citing brunch with Dan as his excuse for being awake at such a thoroughly reasonable hour on a Sunday morning. He’s in high spirits, from what Dan can tell, rolling on the balls of his feet as they wait for the elevator to arrive. Dan is ready to put it down to excitement over their plans – she has a stack of potential recruits under her arm thicker than Les Misérables for them to discuss, hopefully with a stack of pancakes of equal height on the side. Then she spots the light bruise peeking over the hem of Neil’s collar, and draws a very different conclusion about the source of Neil’s good mood.

She smiles as they step into the elevator, but keeps the observation to herself. While some members of the team love to badger Neil for the slightest insight into his relationship, Dan is willing to push her curiosity aside for the sake of Neil’s privacy. He has plenty other teammates to pester him without her jumping on the bandwagon.

Just before the doors slide shut, an arm bursts through the gap, forcing them open. Andrew is as stoic and terrifying as ever (not that Dan would ever admit it) even while wearing Neil’s foxprint-patterned pyjama bottoms. The quickened rise and fall of his chest is the only hint that he ran to get here.

Neil raises an eyebrow at the sudden appearance of his underdressed partner.

Andrew lobs something at Neil which bounces off his chest and lands on the floor between his feet. Neil stoops to scoop it up, and Dan sees that it’s his wallet.

“Thanks.”

“Idiot,” Andrew huffs. He retracts his arm, and the doors slide shut on the sight of him stalking back to their dorm.

Neil taps the wallet against his hand a couple times before sliding it into the wallet.

“You’re both idiots if you think I’m letting you pay for brunch,” Dan says wryly.

Neil shakes his head. “I said I was going to pick up some stuff at the store afterwards. But thanks. Brunch is on me, though.”

“We’ll see,” Dan says, which means no. “Okay, I’ll admit it. That was sweet of him.”

The corner of Neil’s mouth twitches. “Nah. He’s just making sure I come back with the junk food I promised him.”

“Sure.” And, oh, Dan had been trying to be good, but she really can’t help herself any longer. “So, did you guys mean to give each other matching hickeys, or was that just a fun little accident?”

Neil slaps his hand to his neck and groans.

All in all, it’s a great morning.

 #2 Kevin

Aaron’s trial is coming up. Kevin wouldn’t care (well, he would, but for different reasons) except that it’s making the cousins snippy and fractious. More so than usual. Andrew isn’t sleeping properly, although he would deny that it had any relation to the trial. Unfortunately, his insomnia is contagious, which ends with Neil losing focus at their night practice, having spent the best part of a week running on fumes and gatorade.

Kevin has been patient – patient by his standards, anyway – but the third fumbled catch in a row snaps his temper like brittle bone.

“Get the fuck off my court, Josten.” Kevin says, smacking the base of his racquet against the floor.

“Fuck you,” Neil answers reflexively. He stops to push his lengthening bangs back from his face.

“I’m not joking. You’re in no state to play. Get the fuck out.” Kevin wishes Neil would take it as the blessing it is, a night to re-focus and re-calibrate, but instead he’s glaring Kevin down like he just asked him to eat sewage.

Neil turns away from him to send another ball barrelling towards the goal. It misses by an entire foot.

“Neil,” Kevin says sharply, readying for a fight that neither of them have the energy nor patience for.

Before he can begin, the doors to the court bang open. Andrew stands in the entrance, arms crossed. It’s the expression that ends an argument before it’s had time to start; Kevin knows it far, far too well.

Andrew leads Neil away to the showers while Kevin continues his drills.

When he’s finished washing up, he finds the pair in the team lounge, collapsed on the wider of the couches. Neil is asleep, slumped into Andrew’s side. Andrew looks up as Kevin enters, but he doesn’t move his hand from its resting place in Neil’s hair. Although Neil was the only one of the pair training that night, Andrew’s hair is plastered against his head as though he, too, is fresh out of the shower. Kevin tries not to consider the implications.

They wait in silence for a few minutes, watching as Neil sleeps, properly sleeps, for the first time in far too long. Neither are willing to disturb him, but the night is late and Kevin has a whole host of classes waiting for him in the morning.

“I’ll walk back,” says Kevin. Andrew meets his gaze for a long moment before nodding briefly. The bags under his eyes betray him.

Kevin darts back into the lockers to pick up Neil’s abandoned kit bag. When he passes them again, Andrew has slouched onto his side, having manoeuvred Neil in front of him so they can both lie comfortably. His arm is slung protectively around Neil’s waist like Andrew is prepared to beat off the world to keep him there.

Kevin knows they spend more nights in each other’s bunks than out of them in the dorm, but somehow they’re always up and away before anyone else is awake enough to give them any hassle over it. Kevin doesn’t care, but Nicky can be overbearing at the best of times, and Aaron is… well, Aaron. But here, in the privacy of an empty stadium, it looks like Neil has finally found enough security to drop off at last, and Andrew looks ready to follow. Kevin shuts the door behind him, not quite smiling, but close. It was strange to some, the idea of Neil and Andrew, but anyone who saw them curled up together would see it plain as day. They just fitted.

The next day, Neil is closer to being himself again, and no more is said on the matter.

 #4 Matt

Matt has to admit that press duty with Neil is never boring. The interviewers seem to share his opinion, visibly perking up when Neil follows Matt into the room. They lost to the Bearcats, but it was close enough that Matt doesn’t have to lie when he says that he’s proud of the team’s performance today.

“Some are saying that the failure of the defence line in later stages was due to Minyard’s performance in goal in the second half. How would you respond to that?

Matt doesn’t know why he bothers opening his mouth; the question may be directed to him, but he knows damn well that a boulder in the shape of Neil’s fury is already barrelling in this hapless reporter’s direction. “Well-”

“Last time I checked, this was a team sport,” Neil says loudly. “Was I hallucinating that, or has there been a few rule changes since yesterday?”

Matt isn’t sure whether to laugh or groan. Coach had told Matt to keep an eye on their resident fire-starter as though anyone was at all capable of controlling Neil when there was a mic in front of him. Matt feels sorry for the poor sucker that will one day be assigned to the role of Neil’s publicist, because he’s sure that Neil will drive them into an early grave alongside Matt’s.

“You have to admit that the number of goals that he let in-”

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that his entire defence line had already played two full quarters before he even stepped foot on court. People get tired the longer a game goes on, of course defence is going to suffer in the second half. But sure, keep pinning it on the goalie you clearly have it in for.”

Matt claps a hand on Neil’s back. “What he said,” he agrees, staring down the reporter.

They take no further questions.

Matt doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when he leaves the showers to see Andrew and Neil alone in the locker room he ducks back out of sight. He walks into at least one dramatic confrontation amongst his teammates per week, and sometimes the best way to deal with the daily bouts of fox drama is to hide and wait for the storm to pass.

“Point me to where I asked you to lead my own personal crusade.” Andrew’s flat tones echo off the tiled floor. Matt regrets leaving his Ipod in his bag. The conversation doesn’t seem too personal to overhear, but Andrew and Neil have never been the easiest reads.

“I’m tired of them talking shit about you just because they have a vendetta against anyone with your…” Neil trails off. Matt imagines him to be making several expressive hand gestures; it’s hard to condense all of Andrew’s history and circumstances into one word. “…everything,” Neil settles on.

“Your principles should not intersect with my business.”

“Even if it could affect your future career?” Neil’s words are met, unsurprisingly, with silence. “Besides, yours do.”

“Explain.”

“When I first came here, you told Nicky to back off. Not out of concern for me. Because of your principles.”

This time, the silence stretches so long that Matt doesn’t think Andrew is going to answer.

“Point,” Andrew concedes.

“Besides, is it so bad that I’m standing up for you?”

“Only when it’s making new enemies for you. How many does one man need?”

“I’ve got room for a few more,” Neil says. There’s a rustle of movement, and, oh, are they kissing? Matt strongly suspects that they are kissing. It’s more than his life is worth to look. He takes a few steps back, rattles his kit loudly and makes as much noise as possible before entering the locker room. The pair are a safe distance apart by the time he enters, and Matt gives them a probably-not-convincingly-casual nod before busying himself with his change of clothes.

The pair spend the journey home holed up together at the back of the bus, and if he suspects that they’re doing a little more than talking, Matt keeps it to himself.

They’ve earned a little privacy, after all.

 #5 Aaron

“Well, maybe if you stopped and took the time to, I don’t know, explain literally anything that you do, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.”

“Aaron,” says Bee, a gentle reprimand. He isn’t in the mood to hear it. His attention remains on his brother, who’s features remain the same stony, impassive blank that they have in almost every joint session to date. It’s an expression that makes Aaron want to tear his hair out, or kick his brother’s face in, or both.

“What would you like me to explain?” says Andrew, more of a challenge than an offer. Aaron snorts, because, where to fucking begin?

“How about we start with your little fuck-buddy, seeing as you’re so keen to start on mine.” Earlier that week, Andrew had returned early from a class to find Aaron and Katelyn together in their dorm room. The result, while not outright violent, had been deeply unpleasant for all involved. And of course, Andrew was being an ass about it.

“Aaron. We’ve talked about this. How can you expect Andrew to talk about Katelyn respectfully if you won’t offer the same respect to his own partner?”

Aaron scoffs. “It’s not the same.”

Andrew’s eyebrow… it doesn’t quirk, but it twitches. “Oh?”

Aaron gestures vaguely. “You know what I mean.”

“I can assure you that I don’t.”

“Me and Katelyn. You and Neil. It isn’t the same.”

“How so?” Andrew’s tone isn’t in the danger zone yet, but it’s edging towards it.

“I’m not talking about the gay thing. I’m talking about…” The hand Aaron was waving clenches into a fist as he drops it into his lap. “Don’t make me say it.”

Andrew and Bee share a look over his head.

“Aaron,” says Bee.

“I just, fucking…” Aaron grapples with words, struggling to find a combination that won’t rip them apart any worse than they already have been. “How the fuck can you expect me to believe that you and him… that you’re real. That you’re normal, that you’re like us, after everything those fuckers did to you. What makes him so different?”

Andrew watches him. Just when Aaron resigns himself to the fact that no answer is coming, Andrew speaks. “If I ask him to stop, he stops.”

Aaron bites down on the inside of his cheek so hard that he thinks he might have drawn blood. “It can’t be that simple.”

Andrew shrugs.

“How?”

Andrew’s eyes flicker upwards, like he would rather be anywhere else, having any other conversation in the world than this one. “We have a system. We don’t touch each other without asking first. We listen to each other. We talk. What more do you need me to say?”

Aaron falls silent. He doesn’t know what he needs from his brother, still, but it’s something.

“I have a question in return,” Andrew’s eyes flick to Bee. He isn’t looking for permission, but she nods in encouragement nonetheless. “Katelyn. What makes her so different?” Andrew meets his gaze dead-on as he turns Aaron’s own words back on him. “How can you trust her, after everything that bitch Tilda did to you?”

And finally, it all clicks into place.

Aaron forces himself to look his brother in the eyes. So much like his, yet at the same time so different. “Okay,” he concedes at last. “I see.”

Because, at last, he does.

 #7 Allison

Neil appears at Allison’s door with a black eye, a bust lip, and the words “don’t freak out,” spilling from his mouth before she can get so much as a word in.

“Great start,” she says, pulling him in. “Who do I need to kill?”

“My shoelace came undone and I ate shit while I was on my run. I just need enough makeup that I can get through class without looking like I’ve been in a fight again. Do you know how many of my lecturers have taken me aside to give me the domestic abuse hotline?”

“You should know how to do this yourself by now.” Allison rolls her eyes as she leads Neil through to the table.

“You’re better at it,” he admits grudgingly, and oh, doesn’t that just warm her heart to hear.

“Nice try. You’re still taking me out for coffee after this.”

Neil pulls a face, and Allison laughs. It doesn’t take long – Allison has treated him in far, far worse shape, as much as she’d rather not think about it – and soon there’s only the faintest smudge around Neil’s eye.

“Can I tempt you to some mascara? Glitter?” Allison asks, waggling her eyebrows as she spreads the contents of her makeup bag out for his inspection.

“Maybe next time,” says Neil, “When I’m not going to a calculus lecture.”

“But that’s the best place for it.” Allison dabs the tip of his nose with her brush, and Neil’s face scrunches up as he tries to hold back a sneeze. His hair flops back down over his forehead as he moves, falling into his eyes.

“Don’t move just yet,” Allison says, yanking a drawer open and fumbling for the kitchen scissors. “I’ve been meaning to deal with that mop for weeks, and right now I have you trapped.”

“Oh, no,” Neil says flatly, but still he surrenders herself to her demands. Wise move.

“Perfect,” says Allison a few minutes later, ruffling Neil’s hair to shake away the last loose strands. “Ready for the red carpet now. I hope there aren’t any cute guys in your maths class, or Andrew is going to go mad with jealousy.”

Neil snorts. “He’s not really the type.”

“Mhmm,” says Allison, because in her experience, everyone is the type.

Speaking of the psychotic little devil himself, Andrew bursts through the door just as Allison is brushing up the last of the trimmings.

“Hey,” Neil says, apparently impervious to Andrew’s thunderous entrance. Andrew ignores the greeting, taking hold of Neil’s chin to turn his face from side to side.

“Kevin said you fell,” he says, relinquishing the grip. Allison half-turns away, pretending to busy herself tidying but really listening, because the monster’s overbearing-boyfriend performances are rarely seen in public yet endlessly entertaining.

“Shoelaces. Who could have seen it coming?”

“I did. And warned you. Twice.”

Neil winces. “My bad.”

Andrew mutters something under his breath that seems to involve the words kill you. The day Allison understands their relationship is the day that she gives up on any and all gossip for the rest of her life.

Then, Andrew pauses, distracted. “Did you trip and fall onto a pair of sheers?”

“Allison gave me a haircut. How does it look?”

Andrew holds his hand in front of Neil’s face. When Neil nods, Andrew runs it quickly through his hair, gently tugging at the roots as he goes. “Awful.”

“Hey,” Allison interrupts, outraged. They both start, and Andrew’s hand drops away, like they had forgotten she was there. Which was the point, really. She holds the scissors in Andrew’s direction. “You’re next, scraggy.”

“When I’m dead,” Andrew replies flatly. It’s clear he isn’t joking. Neil shakes his head at them both.

“Come on, then,” Allison says. “Neil’s taking me for coffee. Give us a ride and I’ll buy you the sugariest, most expensive drink on the menu. I’m hoping the diabetes will finish you off if lung cancer falls through.”

Andrew glances between them. “Fine.”

Sugar and Neil; the keys to Andrew’s stony little heart.

 #8 Nicky

Nicky is fully capable of responding to his cousin’s newfound domestic happiness with maturity and decorum.

He just chooses not to.

This has nearly ended in violence no less than eight times. But really, how can he be expected to let it lie when his cousin, who came to him an unruly, violent teen to whom any conversation was like pulling teeth with plastic tweezers, is, for the first time, experiencing the gay teen college romance Nicky could only have dreamed of?

With his fiancée a million miles away, Nicky has to live vicariously when it comes to matters of the heart. There is no better subject for this than his violent baby cousin, who, it seems, isn’t such a baby anymore.

Nicky is beyond late for his class already when he realises that his laptop is dead. He had been skyping with Eric until ass-o-clock in the morning, forgot to plug it in before passing out in his bunk and is paying for it three-fold. He has two options; pencil and paper (what is he, a toddler?) or steal someone’s laptop. The answer is both clear and obvious.

Andrew’s is the first to hand. He most likely won’t surface until noon, by which time Nicky will have returned from class, leaving him none the wiser. The perfect crime.

Or it is the perfect crime until Nicky opens the laptop in the middle of his seminar to a webpage that is filled with very, very unsafe-for-classroom content.

Nicky slams the laptop shut. It wasn’t a video, none of the sites Nicky knew from his own fits of late-night loneliness. Large blocks of text, diagrams that were more analytical than downright pornographic. Nicky slides the laptop open again, just enough for the screen to light up once more, and tabs up. No, not porn. Informative. Educational.

The girl beside him, although unable to see his screen, is giving Nicky some very strange looks. Nicky glances back to the laptop before sliding it shut once more. Pencil and paper will have to do.

The class is drier than dirt, leaving Nicky’s mind with far too much space to think. A dangerous pastime in Nicky’s case, Eric would say teasingly. Nicky had assumed – well, not that he had thought about it, much, but Andrew always seemed so set and sure of himself that it was hard to imagine him googling how-to guides like an acne-riddled teen the night before prom. His apparent innocence is weirdly adorable. Not a word Nicky uses out-loud in his cousin’s presence, but true all the same.

Nicky remembers his first time. Awkward, uncomfortable, and involving entirely the wrong set of genitals. He can only hope Andrew and Neil’s is better.

He shouldn’t get involved. He really, really, shouldn’t.

Nicky slips the laptop back into place mere moments before Andrew slouches into the living space. Nicky watches him as the coffee-maker gurgles away, thinking.

“Andrew.”

Andrew glances up. Nicky isn’t sure what he reads in his face, but it must be setting off alarm bells, because his hands move almost unconsciously to his sleeves. Nicky holds his hands up.

“Hey!”

“What?”

“I just…” Oh, this is a lot more awkward than Nicky anticipated. “You know, I’m always here for you. If there’s anything you want to talk about.” He clears his throat. “If you have any questions…”

Andrew’s eyes narrow. They flick in the direction of his desk. Nicky remembers, far too late, Andrew’s impossibly perfect memory. He would remember the exact position he left his laptop in. Nicky is busted.

“Don’t borrow my laptop,” Andrew snarls. The coffee brewer clicks, and it may be the only thing that saves Nicky’s life.

“I’m sorry! I was in a rush!” Nicky says weekly. “If it’s any consolation, the guy who sits behind me now thinks I’m a grade-A pervert.”

Andrew slams a mug down on the counter so hard he almost cracks it. “One more word. One more.”

“I won’t. I won’t, I promise, I’ve been there, okay?”

Andrew takes his coffee and his laptop and leaves without another word. Nicky counts it as a blessing.

The next day, he’s working his way through the mother of all essays when Andrew enters the room, pulling the door shut behind him. Nicky keeps working until Andrew pulls a chair over to Nicky’s desk and sits in it. He stops typing mid-sentence, fingers hovering over the keys.

“Everything okay, Andrew?”

“I want you to take a moment and remember how many knives I have on me right now.”

“A lot, I assume.”

“A lot,” Andrew confirms. “If I had any other choice in the world, I would take it. But I have you. So, I’m going to ask you something, and you are going to be calm and level and mature and everything that you usually are not when you answer.”

“Of course,” Nicky says in a heartbeat. He can’t think of a single time Andrew has ever come to him for help, not even when he was wrapped up in bed and coughing his lungs out the day before his AP Calc exam. Nicky has never been more determined to get something right in his life.

“How,” Andrew says, stops, starts again. Today is full of firsts; Andrew is usually so careful and measured with his words. “How do I do it without hurting him?”

Nicky’s heart is ready to melt or break or explode, maybe all at once. “Oh, Andrew.”

“The knives, Nicky. Remember the knives.”

“Okay,” says Nicky, and he tells Andrew everything he can. He wants, more than anything, for Andrew to be safe and happy, and if it involves going into details that even Nicky is squeamish about discussing with family, then that’s what he’ll do.

He offers to write out a list of reliable books and websites for Andrew to check out, ones he used himself and others Eric recommended to him. Andrew shakes his head.

“Just tell me. I’ll remember them.”

When they’re done, Nicky almost claps Andrew on the shoulder. He thinks better of it, hand hovering mid-air before he withdraws it. “Andrew.”

Andrew is half-way out the door, but he stops, which is more than Nicky expected.

“You’ll be fine.”

Andrew huffs, and abruptly disappears. Nicky smiles to himself as he turns back to his essay.

It took him a long time to piece it all together, but the truth is that Andrew really can be quite sweet, in his own terrifying way.

Nicky wonders how long it will be before he has to give Neil the sex talk too. Maybe he should offer.

Best not to; he has some self-preservation instincts, after all.

 #9 Renee

Renne likes to think that she has improved at reading Andrew over the years. Some of his quirks are more obvious than others, however; it doesn’t take a student of human character to notice that when Andrew wants to spar, it’s usually because he has something on his mind.

Renee is hardly in a position to judge, not when she finds the cut and blow of a vicious fistfight as cathartic as he does. There’s still a piece of Natalie Shields underneath all of Renee’s growth like the pit at the heart of a peach. Sometimes the best way of holding her down is by letting her out in controlled increments. Give her the inch so she won’t take the mile.

As usual, it is only when they have beaten each other to exhaustion and back that Andrew is ready to talk. They sit cross-legged in the centre of the room, slurping down apple-juice cartons like kids in the playground, and finally, Andrew speaks.

“I want you to train Neil.”

Renee sets her carton down. “I thought Matt was teaching him to box.”

“He’s a shit boxer.”

“Neil or Matt?”

“Both.”

Renee shakes her head. She reaches back to pull out her hair tie, letting her bangs tumble back into their usual place. “Is there a reason Neil hasn’t asked me himself?”

Andrew is silent. There it is; the heart of the matter.

Renee sighs. “I’m not going to force Neil to train with me if he doesn’t want to.”

“I don’t force Neil to do anything,” Andrew says sharply. Renee winces; it was a poor choice of words on her part.

“Why do you think he needs it?”

“Matt is teaching him how to box. It’s not the same as real fighting.”

Renee hums. “Can’t he do something for fun?”

“That’s not the point. Besides,” Andrew pauses. “Matt only knows how to fight like the fuck-off giant that he is.”

Renee can’t argue with that; Matt never had to learn the same style of combat that she and Andrew did. He may teach Neil how to throw a good punch, but there’s a big difference in stance and strategy when your opponent is a foot taller than you. Renee and Andrew learned that the hard way.

“And who is it that you think Neil is going to be fighting?”

Andrew waves one arm in an all-encompassing gesture. “Have you met him?”

“Andrew.”

“Renee,” he shoots back, imitating her tone and inflection.

“What did he say when you suggested that I teach him?”

Andrew scrunches up his features in an imitation of Neil’s ugh face. “He said that he gets enough bruises as it is.”

“He’s not wrong.”

Andrew doesn’t roll his eyes, but his eyebrows twitch as though he’s considering it. “He also said he doesn’t need to get any better. Because he…” Andrew grimaces. Sharing is still tough for him, even after years of therapy and trust. “He has me to protect him.”

“As I said,” Renee says, smiling. “He’s not wrong.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“He has his moments.”

They finish their juice boxes in silence.

“Well,” says Renee, getting back to her feet. Her legs may be going stiff, but there’s still some fight left in her. There always is. “I may not be able to train Neil, but at least I can train his bodyguard to the best of my ability.” She holds her hand out to Andrew. After a moment of careful consideration, he takes it, using the pull to swing himself to his feet. “One more round?”

Andrew nods, determination setting in his eyes like concrete. “One more round.”

Renee likes to think that she has improved at reading Andrew over the years. This time, as they trade hits and kicks, it isn’t anger or frustration powering Andrew’s movements; it’s something far more powerful.

She thinks – hopes – prays – that the worst of Neil’s fights are behind them. All the same, she sleeps a little easier knowing that, should the day come, Andrew will be at his back with a knife in each hand.

That’s love, after all.

.

Thank you for reading - please let me know what you thought

Still open to requests!

[meanminyxrd]

that was enough (andreil)

i decided to write a short little blip based off of some photos i took of myself and of course, as an andrew kinnie, it became andreil focused. the pictures will be attached at the end of the post! (btw this was not proof-read at all and it's really just a mess pls forgive me.)

~

after a rough game of exy, neil and andrew are the last ones in the locker room to shower. it was against a difficult team; they had won, but it was a close call. all of them had been exhausted after the game but neil and andrew had both been on press duty that night and it had been rather lengthy. the foxes had offered to stay and wait, but neil waved them off. he didn't mind dealing with the publicity. of course, with the way neil's mouth tended to get away from him, andrew decided it might be smartest if he stuck around, even if he didn't particularly want to. someone had to limit the amount of senseless shit that neil spilled to the public; although it was rather funny.

the foxes knew that, quite frankly, andrew didn't care if they stayed or not. they were also aware that even if invited to celebrate their win, the two boys most likely wouldn't join them. they preferred to spend more time with each other than the foxes. well, at least andrew did. neil sometimes was able to convince him to come socialize with them instead because it was 'interesting' and 'made them a better team'. to andrew, it was laughable, but it was always worth it to see the soft smile on neil's face whenever he agreed to something slightly outside of his comfort zone.

by the time the boys were done with the press and moving on to get cleaned up, the rest of the team had gone back to fox tower and most of the stadium had cleared out as everyone tried to avoid rush hour at the same time. only wymack and abby were waiting for them, and after a gruff reminder for them to lock up and a softer reminder to stay safe from the both of them, they were gone. just like that, it was only the two of them.

neil was now comfortable enough around andrew not to be ashamed of his body and it’s numerous scars. andrew had been seen by neil a few times now, and though it was still new, andrew wasn’t as afraid of it anymore. both boys undressed openly, seeing as though they were the only ones there. neil finished undressing first and went into one shower, and shortly after, andrew knocked lightly on the door and asked, ‘yes or no?’

neil smiled slightly to himself. they’d showered together before; well, he had showered, and andrew had showered afterwards, not keen at first on taking his clothes off in front of neil. on one hand, it seemed weird that the first place to shower together would be in the foxes locker room; but at the same time, it couldn’t have been more fitting.

he gave his affirmation, and andrew slipped into the shower with him. it wasn’t spacious by any means, and they were rather close together, but neither of them seemed to mind. neil was careful of his hand placement, and kept them to his sides while andrew just stared at him for a moment. neil was content to do the same. every time neil opened himself up to andrew like this, his boyfriend got the same exact look on his face; the same warm look in those dizzing hazel eyes. he developed this stare that at first glance would seem blank and empty; but underneath, neil could tell that andrew was taking a moment to appreciate him. he was appreciating the trust given, and cradling it to his chest like it was the best gift he’d ever received. and even though andrew would deny it, and even if neil wasn’t quite sure it was there, he still swore that he saw something akin to love in andrew’s eyes when he looked at neil like that. but what would he, neil josten, know anything about that?

little did neil know, he looked at andrew much the same way. eyes full of admiration, gratitude, and trust. it was easier for him to show it with his soft smile and bright blue eyes, and it never failed to take andrew’s breath away. which, of course, he hated. he not-so-gently cupped neil’s face and awaited a nod before kissing him. it wasn’t long, by any means; they were both really too tired to get anything serious going right now. plus, they were in the foxes locker room. but andrew couldn’t help himself when he saw neil bite his lip like that, and the latter wasn’t complaining.

at first they continued the rest of the shower in comfortable silence. andrew helped wash neil, with consent first, of course, before moving on to himself. neil, knowing better than to touch without say, was content to watch. however, andrew sent him a look as he grabbed the shampoo and paused, staring for a moment. he then suddenly handed it to neil. neil blinked emptily, not really understanding, but taking the bottle anyways. andrew mumbled out with an impatient breath an explanation.

‘you said someday you’d like to wash my hair. now’s as good a time as any. my arms are tired from playing and getting you clean.’ he kept it brief and to the point, and neil knew he shouldn’t, but he still allowed that big grin to slowly cover his face anyways. he almost couldn't believe andrew had remembered him saying something as casual as that, but he also knew about that eidetic memory of his. andrew rolled his eyes, but there wasn’t any malice in it as he closed his eyes and let neil wash his hair, relaxing against the soothing scrubbing motion he picked up.

neil finished washing his boyfriend's hair and left him to rinse it out, getting dried off and dressed. he decided at the last minute that instead of wearing his own sweatshirt, he was going to steal andrew’s, and so that's exactly what he did. he checked his phone as a few drunken texts were starting to pile into his inbox, mostly from nicky. he browsed his text messages feeling mildly amused while he waited for andrew to come out, and a few seconds later, the water shut off. neil instinctively looked up when andrew exited the shower, and his heart leapt to his throat. yeah, he’d just seen andrew, but he hadn’t seen him. it was one thing when they were pressed close together in the dim light of the showers, and another thing all together when he was just… there. almost sparkling under the bright lights of the locker room, water droplets trailing down his skin and falling into crevices such as his abs or making little puddles in his collar bones.

neil was very obviously entranced. he snuck his phone up and snapped a picture of andrew drying off. he smiled fondly at the image before secretly catching another, but it didn’t go unnoticed for long. he giggled childishly when andrew noticed, and playfully told him to, ‘smile!’ andrew responded with quite the sneer and flipped him off, but again, there was no negativity behind the action.

once andrew was dressed (now wearing neil's sweatshirt instead of his own) they locked up the stadium and headed back to their dorm. everyone was down in the basement partying still, as they hadn't been absent long, so andrew and neil had the dorm room to themselves. both of them being absolutely exhausted from their long and well fought win, however, simply headed to bed. they curled up to one another; not quite touching, but close enough to feel each other's presence. with the fatigue of a long day of exy setting in and the smell of the vanilla body wash neil kept stealing from him, andrew was fast asleep in minutes. it was surprising to neil, as usually he was the first one asleep, but he wasn’t complaining. with a crooked smile at his sleeping boyfriend, he took a couple last photos to remember the night. maybe this night hadn’t been a big thing to andrew, but to him, every little moment meant the world. every little bit of trust handed over was like winning a thousand exy games all in one sweep. and even if it wasn't all of andrew's trust, it was some. it was progress. and to neil, that was enough.

~

when i say i wrote all of that just for these 5 pictures i'm not kidding. the sleepy andrew photos were kind of second thoughts, but i literally just wrote a whole ass one-shot solely because i'm a raging kinnie who looks like andrew minyard and also happens to kin him. well. i hope you enjoyed, and as promised, here are your pictures! (don't worry, all very sfw unless ur triggered by collar bones or shoulders)