#i mean honestly i’m too insecure about my body even without the scars to take my jacket off but

[mx-misty-eyed]

tw sh

[kavikaslana]

*puts hand out* give dabi and shigaraki stuff now, just do something

I guess I'm on my own lol

Just some smut headcanons I have of 'em real quick before I'm gone for the weekend

Minors DNI. I barely write smut, y'all aren't missing out on much

Shigaraki

He's probably a switch honestly. I like him as a bottom, but realistically, he's probably a 50/50

He'd be a switch for a few reasons. I feel like he'd be a little bitch boy about wearing artist gloves, so when he's tired he just has you do the work

However, when he can control his quirk, or just when he's got enough energy, he'd definitely be the dominant one

He's very nervous about the first time, throwing around excuses about how 'You wouldn't like his body' in hopes that he could get out of it

He lasts long enough. Not extremely long, but it takes him longer than the average male

Prefers to come from behind when he is on top because let's be honest, baby would be at least a little insecure 'bout his scars, and his body before his upgrade

He's definitely into choking, whether he's being choked or you are, just depends on who's doing the work

Likes being degraded and degrading, 100%

Calls you his 'dirty little slut' mostly

Leashes and collars are a must if you're on top. Pull on it, tell him he's a desperate little whore for you while you stroke him off

He doesn't see a point in lingerie. It'll be gone in about 10 seconds anyway. Maybe its cute, but you won't even have it on for long, lets be honest

He's LOUD, like everyone would know what's goin' on in that room. Shig would cover all of the noises you make

I could see knife-play, but I don't think it'd be a common thing. Maybe every once in a while, but not every time like choking would be

Bondage is in there somewhere, definitely

When he's under you, take your time and really mess with him. Just run your fingers over the tip of his cock. Play with him, make sure he's completely ready for you. Get 'em all needy and whiny before you do anything, makes him feel helpless and he adores it

When he's on top, he tries his best to at least make sure you're somewhat prepared, but he's impatient. Probably tries to finger you really quick, or give your clit a few quick touches just so he's 100% there's some lubricant. He prefers teasing for oral and handjobs, but nothing else

As long as he isn't tired, he can go for maybe 4-6 rounds when he's on top. If you're being the dominant one, he'll stop whenever you do

Be stubborn with him if you're on top. Finger yourself in front of him and don't let him touch you. Makes him that much more needy and into it

Dabi

To everyone that thinks he's a sex god, I'm sorry to disappoint you, he's not

I’m gonna be honest, I always thought he was dense. Like he can definitely get it but he’s too stupid to realize

Ok anyway, that doesn't mean he doesn't know what it is. It just means he's dense and probably hasn't had much experience with it, if any at all

He's slow to figure out things, like what he likes and how rough he should be

He's also a switch, but he's mostly a sub for a while until he gets used to it

Maybe a month or two max before he gets comfortable with it

He learns and memorizes what you like quickly, but when it comes to himself, he takes a while to decide if he likes something or not

Choking is a must if you like it. He likes being choked, not so much choking someone unless he's trying to kill 'em

Knife-play is a maybe, depends on his mood

Collars and leashes are almost always used when he's on top. Gives him something new to tug at instead of your hair

Bondage is a 50/50 for him. He likes being tied and he likes having you tied up, but he doesn't like being restricted too much

He's somewhat quiet. Not to the point you can't hear him, but enough that its just starting to get a little hard to hear him

Hair pulling is definitely one of his favorite things to do, though he tries not to pull too hard, but he get's carried away sometimes

His pace isn't really slow but it's not fast if you get what I'm saying

He's more of a groaner than anything honestly

Doesn't like teasing because he doesn't see a point in it. If you're really into it, then its possible he'll do it, otherwise he won't ever ask for it. Just wastes time to him

He's not that hesitant about your first time as long as you're sure you wanna do it with him

Dabi's the type of guy that would take pictures when he's comfortable, but he doesn't ever look back at them honestly

After the first time, he doesn't think its a big deal if he walks in on you changing. He'll stop if you tell him you're not comfortable with it, otherwise he doesn't care. He's seen you without clothes before, so it's not a big deal to him after that

Like Shigaraki, he doesn't care for lingerie. If you wanna wear it, that's fine, but its gonna be gone in a few minutes anyway, so he'd rather not

Not really insecure about anything unless you stare at his scars for too long. That's about it

He doesn't like being hit or hitting you, sorry hun

At first, he likes being degraded but I feel like he'd grow out of it after a while. If you like it then he'll degrade you, but otherwise he doesn't care for degrading

He lasts a long time though, so that's a plus as long as you can

He usually has a good amount of energy when he's in the mood. He'll go a few rounds before he's done

Doesn't really have any name he likes to call you. Maybe his pet if you have a collar on, but that's probably it

[anyoneseenadam]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader where they are cuddling and talking after a long day of work?

pairing: azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: mental health/anxiety being mean, insecurity, asides from that it’s pure fluff and nice and lovey dovey

a/n: I love writing fluff omg, I went in a slightly different route that I intended with this one but I hope you like it :))))

------------------------------------------------------------------

You pushed the heavy wooden door of your home open, dragging your legs in as you fought to keep your eyes open. You pushed the door closed with your back, leaning your head against it, and closing your eyes for a second, before sliding down, still leaning against the door, and wrestling to remove you shoes with a huff.

You heard a cough ahead of you and looked up to see Azriel fondly watching you, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He was still in his leathers, so you presumed he had just beat you home, his tired eyes sparkling with humour as he watched you struggle with your boots. You didn’t say anything as you stood and padded over to him on heavy feet, wrapping your arms around his middle and squeezing your eyes shut.

You didn’t want to think of the long week you had dealt with, you just wanted to bury yourself under a mountain of pillows and blankets and maybe wrap your limbs around Azriel like a koala bear. He wrapped his arms around you, scarred hands rubbing up and down your back as the two of you stood together in silence, simply breathing in the other and allowing your souls to be reacquainted.

When you first met Azriel he had wandered into your shop on a whim, wanting to get Feyre some flowers to congratulate her on the pregnancy and he remembered Elain had mentioned this shop being one of her favourites. He had expected to be in and out, not in the mood for a long conversation, or any conversation for that matter. But as soon as he saw your pretty face, your flowy, dress that stopped just above your dirt covered knees, all his plans were thrown out the window.

“Can I help you?” you had asked, sweet-lipped, your voice sounding the way cherries tasted, sweet but with a deeper richness. A smooth tone that he could listen to for hours.

He ended up buying as many flowers as he could without seeming insane, not wanting you to ever stop speaking, wanting you to explain the meaning behind every flower in your store if it meant he got to stay with you.

You had noticed him as well of course. Who wouldn’t, he was beautiful and carried himself with so much grace and poise that you were sure he was a fallen angel. You had lengthened your descriptions of the flowers, face heating when you realised you were rambling and fighting a grin when he asked you to continue.

You had invited him to sit with you as you were brewing tea and he had accepted, sipping tentatively at the tea you told him you grew yourself, the greenhouse in your garden perfect for the needed flowers. The two of you had spoken for hours before he left, ignoring the confused looks from his friends when he came home with six separate bouquets of flowers. Instead deciding to picture your pretty face as he lay in bed that night, finally getting rest for the first time in weeks.

Now, you were wrapped up in his arms, still not speaking. He didn’t worry too much, he knew that sometimes you weren’t ready to speak, that some days you just needed some quiet to process your day and come back to yourself. When you had first explained the way you would drift from your own mind, feeling as if you were floating above your own body Azriel had almost cried, the realisation that maybe he wasn’t the only one in the world, that maybe there was someone for him after all.

He lifted you into his arms and carried you to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the plants littered around the house, before shifting you onto one hip like a baby, knowing you wouldn’t be letting go any time soon. He set about brewing your favourite tea, smiling as he picked up the pot that you had shared the fifth time he came to visit you.

The store had been closed but you had invited him, so he pushed in, cringing at himself when he realised how early he was but all his thoughts came to a halt when he heard that sweet voice of yours coming from your apartment above your shop.

“My lovers got humour, she's the giggle at a funeral, knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshiped her sooner. If the Heavens ever did speak, she's the last true mouthpiece, every Sunday's getting more bleak a fresh poison each week- AH!” you screamed when you saw him standing in the doorway, pressing a hand to your heart as it slowed back to its regular beat. “Fuck you, oh my.”

He genuinely laughed then, not expecting to hear you swear. The girl who had green stained fingers and who fed stray cats, the girl who always decorated for every holiday and who apologised when she bumped into inanimate objects. Your face was hot to the touch and you wouldn’t look him in the eyes, so he had stopped laughing, moving to up your face, forcing you to look in his eyes.

“You have the prettiest voice I’ve ever heard.” He said sincerely but you scoffed,

“No I really don’t,” you laughed but he saw the insecurities then, “I know it’s whiny.” He frowned; your voice having been one of your most attractive traits in his eyes. He had started to see beneath your cracks then, but now with you wrapped around him he remembered how deep they went.

“Do you want to talk about it baby?” he asked carefully, not wanting to startle you, knowing how deep you could get in your head, tiny noises startling you when you were zoned out.

“Bad brain.” Was all you muttered, and he frowned but just kissed your forehead and continued making your tea. When he was done he carried both you and the tea through to your bedroom, setting the tea down before twisting you again and carrying you to the bathroom. He sat you on the side of the bath and wet a cloth, cleaning the makeup from your face, and moisturising your skin before picking you back up and taking you back to your room. You slowly changed into one of his shirts and some loose boxers before crawling under the duvet and reaching your hands out to Azriel who had changed into his pyjama bottoms.

He crawled in next to you, pulling you into his chest, his wings wrapping around the two of you and then his shadows settling over both of you, protecting you from the outside world.

“How was your week?” he asked, one hand coming up to play with your hair knowing how much it relaxed you and feeling his heart warm when he felt you smile against his neck.

“Bit shit,”

“How so?”

“Just rude customers, and this one guy wanted like two dozen flowers which I made up but then he couldn’t pay and trashed the bouquets I had made him. Plus all the noise made my anxiety play up,” you muttered, and he frowned, not liking how put out you sounded.

“Want me to kill him?” he asked, only half-joking.

“I think that’s a bit extreme,” you laughed into his shoulder.

“Lightly maim then?”

“Maybe just a scare, make him think his house is haunted or something,”

“That I can do.” He smiled, kissing you, happy to have you partially back to him.

“What about you, how was your week, I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”

“I know, sorry. I’ve been doing some stuff for Rhys.”

“I’m presuming I’m not allowed to hear about it,” you said, well aware of how secretive his job was.

“It’s not a mission per say, I’m just babysitting.”

“Is it fun at least?” you asked, grinning at him cheekily and he scrunched up his face, thinking back over his week of baby sitting two horny Fae’s while he dreamt of being in your little apartment.

“Not the word I would use, they’re too horny for their own good.”

“The babies?!”

“No! NO! They’re not actually children!” he backtracked as you collapsed into a fit of giggles, Azriel joining you soon after. “You know I think they suspect something,” he said once you finally calmed down, “I think they’ve worked out I’m sneaking off.”

“Hmm, guess we have to kill them then.” You mused and Azriel grinned,

“Only reasonable course of action.”

“I mean we’d be fools not to,”

“Clearly.” He laughed, before tightening his grip, “seriously though, do you want to meet them?”

“I mean, yeah. I think it’d be nice,” he noticed your mood had shifted again and nudged you, imploring you to continue, “It’s just you’re all so accomplished and amazing, powerful people and I’m just… me.”

He tried to ignore the pain that stabbed into his heart at your self-deprecating words, having thought them about himself enough times to know how they felt. “Don’t say that, you’re an incredible person. And even if you weren’t the kindest, sweetest person I had ever met, you’re still the girl I love and honestly I think Cassian is one ex-girlfriend away from selling me to the highest bidder.”

You laughed and nuzzled in farther, “Kindest person you’ve ever met?”

“Well asides from the occasional death threats,”

“ah yes, ignoring that. Of course.” He laughed and kissed your forehead, eyes closing as he heard your voice get softer and your breath slower.

“I love you.” He whispered into your hair as you felt your eyelids droop, the weight of the week lifted off of your shoulders as you buried yourself in Azriel’s arms, peaceful in his embrace.

“I love you.”

[kenmaskitten10]

Dilf Deku Headcanons

Midoriya Izuku x GN!Reader

warnings: swearing, NSFW themes (nothing graphic just briefly mentioned),brief mention of bullying/scars, idk this is pretty tame nothing is really described... if u don't like dilfs then don't read this :)

a/n: okay! this is my first time writing/publishing anything on Tumblr so please go easy on me haha... I've had ridiculous Deku brain rot lately and I decided I had to jot a few thoughts down. I'm playing with the idea of turning this into a writing blog, but I am undecided! If anyone wants to thirst for one Izuku Midoriya please come talk to me please anyway without further ado here are some Dilf!Deku hcs.... I'm playing around with doing a NSFW version after this so if you would like to see that let me know!

w/c: 1,498

Okay everyone today I want to talk about Dilf!Izuku

This may be controversial but I personally believe that he has the most Dilf potential out of any of the class 1A boys and no I will not be taking criticism at this time

Sorry but even when he’s younger he has Dilf energy - he’s caring, considerate, takes your feelings into account like a dad he just wants to take care of his baby

oh fuck this man no no no

And listen, here me out on this one….. he has more dilf potential than Bakugo and allow me to tell you why

We can all agree that Bakugo has been confident his entire life, so of course he’s going to be confident when he’s older?? duh

But IZUKU is a different story altogether, he’s never felt confident in his life

His whole childhood he was looked down on for being quirkless, and bullied by someone he thought was his friend kachaan

THEN he got a quirk but oh every time he uses it it breaks all his fucking bones and leaves him with all these scars, and he appreciates them because of what they represent but also he’s young when he gets them, he’s already prone to insecurity and when he’s younger ESPECIALLY i think they just remind him of previous failures

He only started to gain a little bit of confidence in his UA days, but it takes time to rebuild yourself after you’ve been torn down for so long, so I honestly imagine he doesn’t even feel an inkling of confidence until his third year or later and even then, it’s new, it’s unfamiliar, he doesn’t totally know how to act

Because yes, by his third year, he’s starting to realize, oh wow okay, I have an incredible quirk and all these new abilities that I can control better, and wow people are paying attention for good reasons , because he’s tall and attractive, probably cuts his hair undercut Izuku supremacy and he’s made some solid friends who help boost his confidence too

But despite all this, deep down he still feels like that quirkless little kid who has to work three times as hard as anyone else and still doesn’t get the recognition he deserves

But OH BOY

DILF IZUKU??? This man is dripping with confidence

he’s older now. he’s overcome a lot. he’s gone to therapy, and worked his way through the pro hero ranks until he earned his number one spot fair and square, that’s something no one can take away from him

He’s loaded now (see below because I go on a whole tangent), he has nice tasteful style that can only come with age and experience

He knows he’s hot now, because its simply no longer something that can be denied, anyone with eyes can see how attractive he is

If he catches you staring at him, he doesn’t shy away. His cheeks might tint slightly, but he stares right back with the biggest smirk on his face. “See something you like, angel?”

Probably finds reasons to show off slightly but he’s Dilf!Izuku so it’s subtle, it’s meant just for you and god does it drive you crazy

The way he’ll reach for and grab at things when he’s around you because he knows you like his hands (he wants to hold your bags and please let him he just wants to feel needed)

They way he stands behind you while you cook, or work, or read…. He sees you sitting or standing so peacefully and he’ll come up behind you to check out what it is you’re doing. He’ll lean down slowly, quietly, stopping when his breath is on your neck and your nose is filled with his scent, and take a quick peek at whatever it is you’re working on. It takes you a moment to turn around, your heart starting to beat faster in your chest due to his looming presence behind you (I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS HOT TO ME IT JUST IS OKAY). When you finally turn to face him, his face breaks into a small smile of victory as his strong hand catches your jaw in a gentle grip and he places an achingly soft kiss to your lips before saying “You look so cute when you’re concentrating,”. As you’re about to go in for another, he lets you go and stands up again, his eyes twinkling. “No no, you’re working so hard baby, don’t let me distract you,” WHEN ALL HE WANTED WAS TO DISTRACT YOU and he succeeded and now you’re all hot and bothered, with no hope of resuming what you were doing

Dilf Deku is a tease I know he is but it’s okay he’ll make it up to you later ;)

He’s got shorter, slightly more cropped hair with grey mixed in with the green, his face more lean and angular… not to mention years of pro hero work have toned his body into an absolute work of art I’m gonna pass out just thinking about it

Freckles splashed across his skin like hundreds of little constellations, accented by scars and marks from old wounds (which he’s come to appreciate - they show how hard he’s worked, how much he’s sacrificed to get to where he is now) he’s muscular but I don’t think he’s quite as big as All Might (his fighting style is a lot different so of course he would build muscle in different places) so this means LEGS LEGS LEGS

LEG MUSCLES FOR DAYS

THICK FUCKING THIGHS oh my god

And holy shit his back muscles too WHEW sometimes in the morning when he gets up before you, you watch him sit on the edge of the bed and flex his shoulders and arms to stretch out in the hazy morning light and Jesus Christ

Dilf Deku is older now, he’s spent his entire life working himself too hard and he missed out on a lot of the fun, impulsive, chaotic things young people do, so I think he wants to let loose a little in his older age, have some fun for once

And what’s more perfect than sweet, youthful, tantalizing little you to indulge in ?

He’s so doting, just wants to make you feel special and cared for

And on that note, if you will indulge me for a moment

he’s fucking RICH like

He’s the number one pro hero, he has brand deals on brand deals on brand deals

And I don’t mean to slander All Might and Endeavor, but in terms of a hot, fuckable number one pro hero, Deku has them beat by a landslide so I imagine he has a wider range of brand deals too, because he can sell the sex appeal angle

I mean can you imagine him in interviews? Interacting with fans? Confident yes, but still soft spoken and kind, almost gentle but anyone can tell he’s completely in control, of himself, of the interview, of the audience, this man has the entire country world wrapped around his little finger

All this to say he’s DRIPPING WITH MONEY

he’s like the guy that overtips an OBSCENE amount like if the waiter is really nice he’ll tip like $300 dollars and won’t even blink (I know they don’t tip at restaurants in Japan but this is more for vibes yk)

sugar daddy deku isn’t a stretch it’s a REALITY

Y’all can be officially together or not, either way Deku loves to spoil his precious little y/n

All you have to do is smile sweetly and ask, and he’s absolute putty in your hands

Complies with even the most egregious of your demands, because hey, he has the money to spare, and how could he say no when you look so cute asking so politely?

GOOD TASTE too like he has a lot of money but he knows how to spend it 😏

Additionally he’s, ya know, him, so he’s insanely charitable and donates to charities, go fund me, personal Venmo accounts of fans that need it

if a fan has like a go fund me for some reason that catches his eye, he’s going to donate and he’s going to donate a lot (A LOT)

he doesn’t even do it for the press, he does it bc he’s a good person but my GOD the press eats it up and so do the fans

These hc’s are so self indulgent but all this to say

Dilf!Deku gets what he wants when he wants it and no one is standing in his way

So when he decides it’s you he wants? Well then it’s you he’s going to get!

[bestruction]

Falling in love with a marleyan pt.2

N/A: It was really hard to write for Eren because of all of his background. That’s why I’m insecure about this one. I hope you can enjoy 

You can read the part 1 here 

- Eren Jaeger 

After the war that started in Marley because of the failure of the founding titan's mission, the government sent marleyan nurses to the hospital of the Liberio District. Since many people had died on the battlefield, it would take some time for the eldian medical unit to fully recover.

You were one of them.

It wasn't your first time taking care of war survivors, but putting your feet inside the district's central hospital and seeing all those poor souls made your heart sink in your chest. The atmosphere was heavy, especially since the other nurses who were with you saw no reason to care for and treat eldians.

What was the purpose of the war? This? More blood and hatred?

You were in charge of caring for the patients in ward B. After a long day cleaning your patients' psychological and physical wounds, you felt relief when you reached the last one.

"Mr. Kruger" was what the chart said and notes below about his amnesia, left eye, and leg.

"Good night, Mr. Kruger"

"Good night, nurse"

"You can call me by my name," You said, pointing to the badge on your chest. "We're going to see each other a lot from now on"

He looked at your face and then at your arm, noticing the lack of the armband.

"You are marleyan" he stated

"Yes, I am" You pulled up a stool to sit "Have you had any pain in your left eye or in your leg?"

"No, nurs-" he interrupted himself and looked at your badge before completing the sentence with your name.

"That's good. Please look at my index finger"

You moved your finger from side to side to test his reflexes.

“I'll need to change the bandages on your leg to make sure it is healing well, and the next week, we will look at your eye ”

He nodded, and you bent down to undo the bandages wrapped around the man's leg. To your surprise, there were no scars or even stitch marks.

"You must have an incredible body, Mr. Kruger" you exclaimed, touching his knee looking for any signs of injury "It's almost as if it's regenerating"

"It would be incredible if that were possible"

"Yes of course! It's just my imagination"

Carefully, you bandaged his leg again. Since he said that he would feel better even if he didn't need to. Of all your patients that day, the man with the long brown hair seemed to have something different about him. He was not in paranoia or outlined any kind of stress, but probably thanks to his amnesia.

You helped him sit down, undress for the bath, sit in the wheelchair, and waited at the door until he was finished to help him get dressed again.

That was your first night with Eren Kruger, one very similar to that of the other patients.

The week dragged on at the Central Hospital of Liberio. In the afternoon, it was time to take the most mentally stable patients for a walk around, and as the days passed and repeated, the more you watched Kruger.

Even during the afternoon hours, he did not walk around like the rest. Unlike other patients with amnesia, he didn't even try to search for a loved one or recover some memory. He was unusual, and you were curious.

Every day, you went to his room to perform the same procedure.

"Good night, Mr. Kruger" You greeted him after entering his room, and he responded by saying your name.

"You look tired"

"Is that your way of telling me that I've been prettier?"

You placed his dinner tray on the small, simple table there and sat next to him on the bed.

"No, just tired, but still beautiful"

You smiled at him more than you would like.

"I will test your reflexes as usual and then I will assist you in the shower as usual"

He was always your last patience. He was the best in health and with whom you talked the most.

"Aren't you going to let me see your eye yet?" You asked, helping him to take off his coat.

"You said it wasn’t necessary since I didn’t feel pain"

You shrugged. He probably didn't want to show it because of vanity.

"It is a pity. I really like the color ”

"Why you say that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm an eldian, but unlike other nurses, you don't seem to be disgusted by your work"

"Why would I, Mr. Kruger?" You asked, unbuttoning the last button on his shirt "I'm sure the blood runs here" You said, placing a hand on his chest "It's the same one that runs here"  and completed placing his hand on your chest "We are the same ”

You didn't notice, but Eren Kruger frowned before pulling your hand away abruptly. At that moment, you thought you were over the line. A silence fell over the two of you after such a simple sentence. That was how the night ended, with you two in silence.

Honestly, Eren Kruger had not been offended by your words but intimidated. The last thing he expected to hear from a marleyan was something like that. Eren was intimidated by your kindness.

Kruger was not just your patient. After that few months, he was your friend as well. It was not easy for you to establish a relationship with the other nurses. The marleyan who came with you avoided you because they saw the way you treated the eldians. The eldian nurses did not know what to expect from you, so they kept their distance. He was the only person you could talk to. After what happened, you were afraid that you had ruined things between you. So in an attempt to apologize, the next day, you took a chessboard to entertain him. It was a simple thing, but it was what the hospital protocol allowed.

When Eren saw you enter the bedroom door carrying the dinner as usual and a box, he thanked you for the poor lighting, or maybe you'd have noticed the blush that appeared on his cheeks when he heard you saying "Good night"

He answered you, but he did not look you in the eye. You left the tray of food on the bed and dragged the wooden table in the room to the front of him.

"I thought we could play a little bit" You suggested showing the box.

"It would be a great idea"

You set up the board on the table after dinner, and in silence, you started playing. You were surprised at how strategist the man in front of you proved to be and even more when he won the game.

“I bet you were a great soldier in the war. Why no one comes after you?"

He remained silent, and you sighed.

“I know I made you uncomfortable yesterday, but it was not my intention, Mr. Kruger. I hope you can forgive me ”

Eren looked at you and blinked a few times.

"You didn't ... You didn't do anything wrong" He ran a hand through his hair "I didn't expect to find someone like you in a place like this"

"Well, I didn't expect to find someone like you either"

The silence fell over you two again, but this time in a cozy way.

"Let me prepare you for your bath"

You took off his coat, unbuttoned his shirt, helped him remove his pants, and sit in the wheelchair before taking you to the bathroom.

Everything as on other days, just like with the other patients. So why did your heartbeat so fast against your chest?

"Good night, Mr. Kruger," You said about to leave the room.

"Eren"

"Hm?"

"Please call me Eren"

"Yes...Good night, Eren"

Your foolish heart was beating so fast that you could barely sleep through the night. The blood hit the walls, reverberating his name in your head, and the same happened with the eldian lying in his bed meters from you.

Time passed quietly, with the two of you talking during the afternoon outings and his daily checks. Eren loved those moments. Being with you brought back a part of him that he thought he lost some time ago.

You made that place without colors, the closest thing he could call home.

You liked how things were between you, but you were afraid.

Nothing good would come from a relationship that shouldn't exist, and you would be sent back to your city soon. So there was nothing to do about it. You thought Eren Kruger would become a good memory, and maybe he would have if you hadn't noticed him handing a letter to Falco.

The moment you saw him hand the paper over to the boy, it all made sense. So he didn't try to find out who he was because he already knew, but why stay in the hospital? Why pretend amnesia? Why send a letter if he didn't seem to want to come back?

When you went to take his dinner that night, you were nervous. How to start a conversation like this? Should you even bring it up?

"Are you okay?" He asked, taking you out of your daydreams

"Yes, just thinking about something"

"About what?" He asked, taking a tablespoon to his mouth

You swallowed hard and, without further ado, asked:

"You don't really have amnesia, do you?" Eren stopped the spoon in his mouth and waited for you to continue. “I saw you handing a letter to that boy, Falco. You wouldn’t send letters if you didn’t remember who you are ”

He put the silverware on a plate and stared at you.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"What I'm going to do…? What do you think I'm going to do? Tell the hospital board? ” You sat next to him “It hurts me that you lose faith in our friendship for so little. I would never do that, Eren. If you don't want to go back… ”You took his hand in yours“ You must have your reasons. I just don't want you to have to lie to me ”

"I wish I didn't have to lie to you, too"

He intertwined your fingers with his own and patted the back of your hand briefly. You were close enough for your legs to touch each other.

Eren raised his free hand to your chin and lifted it towards his face. The months of tension between the two of you succumbed to a calm, slow, almost frightened kiss.

"Sorry. I shouldn't… ”

Eren stumbled over the words. He didn't want to force himself on you.

You knew how wrong it was. Ethically and logically, but none of that seemed to matter. So, you kissed him back.

"I want to kiss you too, Eren" You whispered between the kiss

Eren smiled without breaking the contact. How long had he been since he smiled like that?

The kiss started a spark that turned into a fire of desire. None of you dared to stop or even wanted to. Eren kissed you as if it were the first and last time as if he was afraid to let you go. His hands went down to your back, undoing the apron knot, and yours did the same with the shirt buttons. You removed the usual coat he was wearing and right after the shirt. He pulled you into his lap, squeezing your waist. You had to hold back a groan as you felt his erection against your clothed core.

Eren put his hands on the front buttons of your dress and looked at your eyes carefully. Those jade eyes were looking for your permission. You kissed him again, touched by his concern, and got up from his lap.

You undid the buttons on your dress and took off your underwear, leaving you naked. That was the consent he was looking for.

"You're..." He searched for words looking at your face, at your body "Beautiful"

This time, you saw him blush. Eren had never seen a naked woman, more than that, he was sure he had never met a woman like you.

He undid his belt, and you helped him take off his pants before accepting the invitation to return to his lap. To be honest, he didn't quite know what to do, and if you think he was flushed before, you should have seen his face lying on your shoulder when he said:

"I don't know what to do exactly ..."

So you took one of his hands and guided it to the middle of your legs.

"Here" He pressed his finger above your clit "Move your finger in circles"

He did as you said, and he had to restrain himself not to cum at the exact moment you moaned.

"Keep...Agh...Doing it, Eren"

Eren felt an adrenaline rush up his spine and his cock throb when he heard you say his name like that. He wanted more. See more, learn your reactions, and listen to you say his name like this more often.

That night left a mark on you two forever. There was no turning back. Not because of sex, but because you fell in love with Eren, and he fell in love with you long before that.

Thinking about the afterward was something you avoided, but when your period didn't come a second time. You knew it was necessary.

You planned to apply for permanent leave to work as a nurse in the Liberio District and somehow get Eren out of the hospital. You could live in a more remote part of the district without attracting attention and, if necessary, would use one of the eldian armbands. That way, you would only be more of a couple among many. After all, the government would not bother to investigate the life of a nurse.

You were happy despite everything, but that was until you told him.

"Are you ... What?"

"I’m pregnant"

"Is it mine?"

You opened your eyes wide when you heard the question.

"Excuse me? What are you trying to say? ” You controlled yourself not to raise the voice “Of course it’s yours” You completed feeling a lump forming in your throat.

“That wasn’t part of the plan,” He said more to himself than you“You were not part of the plan” Eren rested his hands on his knees and lowered his head.

You wanted to cry. Not for him, but for trusting him, for making plans for the two of you.

“So this is how it will be? God ... I'm such an idiot ”

Eren looked at your figure with slumped shoulders and closed countenance. He hated himself for causing your smile to end. He hated himself for being not the man you deserved and needed, but he wouldn't leave you by yourself.

Even though he couldn't be that man.

"Don’t go out of hospital tonight" He said breaking the silence. "Under no circumstances go to the speech today"

"What? Why?"

"Promise me you won't, please"

"Eren, you are not making sense"

"Please" He begged you seriously

"Okay"

He told you to wait on the hospital terrace. He would come to pick you up, and once again, you trusted him.

It was difficult to watch the confusion that happened in the hospital. Countless wounded and killed. You never forgot the horror stuck in those people's eyes, and doing nothing to help make you feel guilty.

Is that why he told you not to go? If so, how did he know what was going to happen? Why did he know?

You were about to come down to help when a short-haired woman appeared on the terrace saying your name. If you were confused before by not knowing what was going on, now even more.

"Who are you?"

"Eren asked me to pick you up"

"He told me he would come"

She held out her hand with a tender face that you couldn't decipher.

“You will understand everything. Now come on, we don’t have much time to reach others ”

The wind was blowing hard on the terrace. You thought about refusing, going down, and helping the patients. At that time, you were no longer sure if you knew who Eren Kruger, the father of your child, was. You wouldn't know if it was for fear of what could happen if you stayed or for the love you felt for Eren, but you accepted her hand.

You climbed on the airship with that woman.  The pairs of eyes there were looking at you with as much curiosity as you to them. You hated the feeling of being the only one in the dark, the only one not knowing what was going on.

"We'd better keep an eye on her"

"She doesn't know anything" You heard Eren say without looking at you "She wasn't part of the plan"

"No? So why did you ask to pick her up? ” Asked the man without taking his eyes off you

"She’s pregnant with my child"

All the heads in the room turned to you.

"It seems that conspiring was not the only thing he did during that time"

You had so many questions, but there was no time for any of them right now.

Finding out that Eren Kruger was actually Eren Jaeger was like a punch in the gut. The army agreed to accommodate you, and in return, Eren would be imprisoned since he could leave if he wanted to. The woman who came to pick you up on the terrace answered all your questions and explained the current situation. You didn't know what to say, just that you needed to talk to him.

It took a while, but after so much insisting, the survey corps commander agreed to let the two of you talk under her supervision.

Eren was sitting on the bed when you stopped in front of the cell with Hange at your side. He didn't look at you, and he didn't think he could do it too.

"Eren?" You called him, putting your face between the bars "What does all this mean?" You asked even though he knew the answer "You lied to me"

You didn't want to cry, but how could you not? Especially being more sensitive because of the pregnancy.

"Eren ... why?" A sob cut you off “Now I don't know who you are, I can't go home, and is that all you have to say? Nothing? Eren! ” You hit the bars causing a loud bang.

“Try to stay calm. You can't be exasperated because of the baby, ”said Hange, touching your shoulder.

Eren got up from the bed and went to you. You looked deep into his green eyes, now understanding why he never let you take off the bandages, why he didn't have scars.

“I didn't lie about everything” He rested his forehead over yours on the bars “I know this is hard to believe right now, but I'm not going to leave you by yourself. That’s why I asked Mikasa to pick you up ”

For an instant, you saw the Eren who spent his days in the hospital there in front of you. He wiped away your tears and whispered an apology accompanied by your name before kissing your forehead and apologizing again.

It was unfair how your heart sped at the mere touch of him. Foolish heart.

Falling in love and having a child never crossed Eren's mind when he went to Marley. He didn't feel like he deserved you and even less your love. Several times he wanted to tell you everything, but how?

Hange looked at her watch and said that the time was over. Eren took your cheeks in his hands and whispered looking into your eyes.

“I wasn't lying when I said I loved you. I love you"

Hange took you back to your room and asked if you would accept that she questioned you about your time with Eren. She had waited until the moment she judged it right due to your pregnancy.  As a way to repay all her kindness you accepted.

Eren could have said he wouldn't leave you alone, but while you were telling what happened during that time in a country you didn't know, in a room that wasn't yours and pregnant with a man you weren't sure you knew more about, you felt more alone than ever.

[anime-academix]

Scars

Headcanon

Characters: Midoriya, Todoroki, Aizawa, Shigaraki, Dabi

Midoriya:

You know how hard he trains to become the number one hero and you’re his number one supporter!

But because of that, he usually ends up hurt as a result

You’ve lectured him several times that he needs to be more careful when training

He tries, he truly does, but he gets so into becoming stronger, a lot of the times he slips up

Whenever you’re made aware that he’s injured and in the infirmary, you almost always see a new scar forming on his body

Everytime he sees you, he can’t help but be ashamed of himself for getting himself hurt yet again

He gets kind of insecure of all the scars he’s accumulated over his time at UA already

It happens when you two are hanging out--after a major injury on his arm from the fight at the training camp--that you see the sleeve covering his right arm

You can’t help but trace the sleeve on his arm

He takes notice to where your eyes are and shifts uncomfortably, holding his arm with his opposite hand as he looks down

“Can I see it?” You question and he’s taken aback.

He hesitantly nods and lifts his arms up ever so slightly toward you.

Delicately, you pull off the sleeve only to reveal a huge scar, purple in colour, starting from the top of his shoulder to the bottom of his elbow

He will be on the verge of tears because he thinks his scars are ugly

You’ll put his hand in yours and plant kisses on the huge scar gently and work your way around to kiss the other scars on his arms

This boy will straight up start crying, which may even lead you to tear up a bit

You’ll ask him why he’s crying and attempt to wipe away a few of his tears

“My scars are so hideous...and I j-just have so many of them and--”

“Izu, listen to me. Sure, I don’t like the fact that you have scars because it’s a reminder of how much you get hurt. But that doesn’t mean they're hideous. They’re beautiful. Yeah, it’s a reminder of pain, but it’s an even bigger reminder of your strength and bravery. And I am so proud of how far you’ve come. I know I can’t heal them like Recovery Girl, but I will kiss every single one of them everyday if I have to. I love them and I love you.”

Hugs the life out of you while crying into your chest, repeatedly telling you how much he loves you

Todoroki:

Ever since you and Todoroki started dating, you knew he was insecure about the scar on his face

He’s only insecure about it because of the memory attached to the scar and it brings him great pain

You were the only person he could trust enough to talk about his past and this insecurity

Whenever the two of you are together, you can’t help but occasionally steal glances at it

You don't stare at it in disgust, it reminds you of the stories he’s told you of his past and you can’t help but feel a slight pain in your heart when you think of everything he’s gone through but also awe at how much strength and courage he has

He’s truly brilliant

He catches you staring at him

“What're you thinking about?”

He will immediately catch on that you’re looking at his scar and will subtly look away

“You...Shouto, will you look at me?”

He’s taken aback but hesitantly turns to you, exposing his scar again

“Can I touch it? Your scar?”

Doesn’t know how to respond to this unexpected question but nods his head slightly.

Trusts you with his whole entire heart

Your hand cups the side of his face as your thumb softly caresses the bottom of his scar

Instantly melts into your soft hand, finds comfort in your touch

Eventually you’ll find yourself sitting on his lap with his arms wrapped around you and your hand cupping his face

“You’re beautiful.”

A small smile appears on his lips as he looks up at you

“And your scar is beautiful” You added, pressing a soft kiss on his scar

The kiss will cause his cheeks to heat up which leads him to hug you tightly, his head against your chest.

“Thank you...I love you.”

“I love you too, Shouto.”

Aizawa:

It doesn’t bother him that much that he has an obvious scar under his right eye so he doesn’t think about it too much

He doesn’t think about it until he’s with you

But, it’s not a bad thing at all!

You’re a very affectionate person, especially when the two of you are alone

So when he comes home from doing hero work and/or teaching, he can almost always expect to come back to cuddles and kisses

It happens when the two of you are cuddling that you’re pressing kisses on him but stop when you get to his scar

Aizawa LOVES when you kiss his scar

No matter how many times you do, each time is always so special

You’ll trace his scar with the pads of your fingertips while his arms rest lazily around you

Your soft caresses are honestly enough to make him drowsy as his eyes close

You run your other hand through his long black hair, humming softly

A few soft kisses are placed on his scar

That’ll earn you a small smile from him as he opens his eyes

Will begin peppering soft kisses around your neck which will cause you to move your other hand and place it in his hair

He’ll remove his lips from your neck before passionately pressing them against your own lips

A hum of satisfaction will be heard from the two of you

You both adore these moments with each other. When the two of you are close, intimate, vulnerable but in each other’s arms. The moments where you both give and receive confirmation that you love and adore every single part of each other

Shigaraki:

Extremely shy when it comes to physical intimacy/affection

You're almost always the one to initiate it

Because you’re immune to his quirk, it’s a relief to him that he can touch you without having to worry about you turning into dust in his hands--that is WHEN he decides to be bold enough to touch you

Didn’t really care about his scars until you came into his life and he became self conscious about it

He honestly thought you’d think his scars were ugly so he would try to avoid moments of vulnerability with you

But you though the complete opposite

You can honestly see right through him

Happens when he gets severely injured after a failed mission that you have to patch him up

Kurogiri will bring him to your room where he’s in pretty bad shape

When it’s just the two of you, he’ll remove all of the hands from his body

Despite his injuries, he’s INSANELY nervous to be this vulnerable around you

No matter how many times you’ve seen him without the hands, he still gets anxious

Freaks out a little when you sit beside him to tend to his wounds

Becomes even more self conscious showing the scars on his face, especially the ones on his lips. He will shake his hair slightly to cover his face

At this point, you’re a little fed up with your own boyfriend avoiding you constantly

“Tenko…will you please look at me?”

The use of his real name will catch him COMPLETELY off guard 

Can’t help but turn to look at you, his head slightly tilted down

You’ll cup his face in your hands

“Will you stop hiding from me?”

“I have to...I need to.”

“No you don’t. Why are you saying that?”

“Because...I’m...not...I’m not attractive enough for you.”

“What? That’s bullshit. Why would you think that, my love? You’re beautiful, even more than that.”

Stares up at you, would honestly want to cry right then and there at your words

He was always so used to people calling him horrifying because of his skin and scars, therefore he became disinterested at what others thought of his looks because it was always the same. That is, until he met you

You’ll kiss the scar above and below his lips softly. You’ll brush the hair out of his face and place soft kisses on his cheek and below his eye

He didn’t mean for it to happen, but he’ll actually start crying. He will wrap his arms around your waist softly, moving his head to rest on your shoulder.

You'll wrap your arms around him, running your fingers through his hair softly as he sobs quietly

“Shh...I’m here. You’re safe.”

It was then he would know that no matter how many scars he had, you would love him and all of his imperfections

He would genuinely feel loved by you, a feeling he was not familiar with

Dabi:

I mean, Dabi’s scars are more than quite obvious (due to...A+ parenting, thank Endeavour!)

He honestly tries to act all tough, like his scars don’t bother him and pays no attention to it

Happens when he exits the bathroom from showering, shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants

He won’t say it aloud but you’ve observed that he’s more comfortable showing the entirety of his scars around you

You’ll wrap your arms around him from behind and begin kissing his scarred shoulder

Will genuinely think that you’re just being a little frisky, but that thought will be put to bed when you whisper that you think he’s beautiful

This will catch him entirely off guard

He’s never been called beautiful before

Turns around and looks down at you with soft eyes

“What are you talking about?” Will honestly try to laugh it off and pretend like it doesn’t mean everything to him that you just told him that

But you can read him almost too well so you know that actually has an affect on him

You’ll smile and gently cup the side of his face

You won’t say anything but kiss the scars on his face

He’ll roll his eyes, but you both know that he secretly loves your touches on his scars

[flying-nightwing]

Gentle - Jason Todd

Hi people! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything, honestly it’s been a hectic two months and I barely made it out alive lmao. But Jason was never too far away in my mind, don’t worry kids. So this is something I’ve been wanting to write for some moments now, and I came through, well, right about now. 

I haven’t really written something axed on the emotions/feelings like that, once again I’m trying to expand my style to new stuff. This is my first hurt/comfort that was actively trying to be that, and yet another take on Jason because I’m a simp. This is also very, very soft. I hope you’ll enjoy xx

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Word count: 1731

Warnings: mention of blood, Jason being heartbreakingly insecure and vulnerable, allusion to the effects of his trauma.

Summary: Being with Jason Todd often comes with its own load of complicated hardships, but you would never let him go through it alone ever again. 

You barely heard him come back.

You had a sharp ear and a light sleep, which means you always knew the moment Jason came back from patrol. Usually it would be followed by the sound of the shower and him joining you in bed, but sometimes it would not. And those times were usually when things had gone bad. 

Quietly, you got up from the bed and navigated the apartment in the dark. By now, your feet knew the way without needing the guidance of your eyes. Only the light from the stovetop was turned on, casting a weak glow on the common area. You could dicernate Jason’s still body on the couch, still in full red hood gear with the exception of his helmet. He knew you were there, of course he did, but he didn’t look at you. He couldn’t, you figured. Hard nights did that to him.

With a pinch in your heart, you went and knelt in front of him, just not touching him yet. His eyes were open and glossy, staring into nothing. The instances where you found him like this had become rarer in the last years, but they still happened. You were just glad he wasn’t pushing you away anymore. He once told you to just stay asleep and not bother with him, but you could never. Secretly, he was grateful for it. He would never tell you how much, though, because he didn’t want to make you feel like it was something you had to do for him.

“Hi babe” You spoke in a whisper, making you slide his eyes to you. You could see the hurt in them, reflected in the blue of his irises and the red of fatigue and frustration around them. His beautiful expressive eyes that could hold so much love could also hold so much pain at times. It wasn’t fair. “It’s okay. You’re okay now”

You didn’t expect an answer. He had a tendency of getting non-verbal in these situations.

“May I?”

You raised your hand lightly, and he gave you a little nod. Slowly, you enveloped his gloved hands in yours with one hand, while you pushed back a wild streak of hair out of his face with the other. You kept your touch light, knowing he would be already over sensitive as it was. He closed his eyes, enjoying the much needed comfort you provided him. You could feel the almost dried blood on his hands, the tensions in his jaw, the hurt coming off of him in waves. Not physical hurt, you were pretty sure he was unscathed beside the few bruises or cuts here and there. 

“Can I help you with it?”

He breathed out unevenly. The question really meant let me help you, it was a plea for you to help him feel better. Only a little while ago he had actually allowed you to take care of him at his most vulnerable moments. Still, he nodded again. You pulled yourself on your feet and gently helped him to sit up on the couch. Without rushing him, you then helped him stand up beside you and lead him to the bathroom. You kept the light dim so as not to hurt his eyes and guided him in front of the sink. In a slightly better light, you could see how tired and battered he looked. It must have been one of his worst nights ever since you had known him.

You began undoing his gloves first, taking off the blood and dirt soaked material from his hands, then pulled off his leather jacket that you threw in his Red Hood hamper. You could deal with it tomorrow. You turned on the tap to warm water and gently guided his hands under it. You softly rubbed the red and brown colors from his skin, letting the grime disappear down the drain. You made sure to wash it all; between his fingers and under his nails so he wouldn’t have to look at it at all when you’d turn off the tap. 

You carefully dried his hands with a towel before you moved to his shirt. You began pulling it off and he helped you pass it through his arms when it was too high for you, and the piece of his suit joined the rest in the hamper. Blood had seeped through the fabric, mixing with the sweat to taint his chest light red. You moved him to the toilet, where you softly pushed him down on the closed lid. You then damped a washcloth and came back to him. His eyes met yours as you gently washed away the remnant of a gruesome and violent night on his face. His glance meant everything, it was a little stitch on the wound to see your action seemed to help him feel better. 

You moved to his neck and chest, kneeling in front of him once again. You repeated your actions there, your hand still careful and steady. He closed his eyes and sighed, and you felt his muscles untense just a little bit. You observed his scars as you went, still wondering after all this time how he was so strong. It amazed you how he could pull through every curveball life threw at him, and how he could still remain the good man he was today despite all of it. As you washed down his arm, you picked his hand and left a little butterfly kiss on his wrist that made his breath hitch. Then you trailed up the inside of his arm with your lips until you stopped mid bicep. You met his bright eyes and slowly reached for his cheek. 

“How can you even look at me?”

You tilted your head at his quiet words, a saddened smile on your face. “How could I not?” You spoke back in a whisper. “You think your scars are ugly, but you’re so wrong. They write your story in a language very few understand, like a holy text kept in a secret temple meant to be worshipped. You’re strong and passionate, rash and beautiful. And never, remember that, never will I look at you with anything else than the adoration you deserve” 

The light of the bathroom reflected the tears pooling in his eyes like crystals as you rubbed your thumb on his cheek. He leaned into your hand, and his long eyelashes brushed against your finger when he closed his eyelids. He didn’t need to say anything more, you understood what he was trying to communicate. It was why he loved you so much, why he let himself be vulnerable around you. You were patient and kind, always there to help him up. You weren’t blind to his flaws but you accepted him as he was, not as everybody wanted him to be. You understood, which was more than he could say about most people in his life.

And when you looked at him like that, like he was your entire world and universe, he couldn’t help but feel safe. He didn’t have to run, fight, or survive. It was like he could breathe now, like he could finally live. And it scared him, it scared him so much because he felt like he had never truly left that coffin six feet under ground, until you began digging out the dirt to reach him. He was lost in the best kind of way, trying to figure out what to do with the sunrays that finally warmed his entire body after being subject to the coldness of the grave for so long. He was helpless to you, but he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted it to end. 

You stood up and grabbed a new washcloth, warming it under the tap and returning to Jason. You passed over his face again, then his neck and his chest to wash away the remnant of diluted blood on his skin. You placed a light kiss on his shoulder before you helped him up again, then helped him out of his tactical pants. You grabbed your washcloth again, but he gently stopped you with a hand on your wrist.

“Go back to sleep, my love” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I got it from here”

You stared into his eyes, trying to find a clue that he was trying to hide away. But he was way calmer now, his eyes did not hold as much hurt as when you had found him on the couch. His glance was tired and exhausted, yet soft and loving. “Only if you’re sure” 

He nodded, blinking slowly. In any other circumstances, it wouldn’t have convinced you that he didn’t need your help. But for now, it was enough. Just the fact that he had it in him to speak was the indicator you needed. You retreated to the joined bedroom and slipped under the covers that had almost gone cold in the little time you were out of them and rested your head on the pillow. Your eyes softly closed, not yet completely succumbing into sleep yet. The soft noise in the bathroom played in the background like a muffled speaker, keeping you conscious just enough to check on him from afar. After a moment, the door opened and the light shut off, followed by quiet footsteps coming your way. The covers lifted and the bed dropped, then you opened your arms for Jason to crawl into them. His skin was still a bit cold from the hand wash, but the warmth of your embrace made him sigh against you. You caressed his hair as you fought not to fall asleep just yet, but your movements became slower and slower. The world around you started to fade at the first birds began to sing outside your window, their songs gradually lulling you to sleep.

Just as you were on the edge of consciousness, you hear the faintest whisper reach your ears. Two simple words that yet meant the world, especially coming from Jason. Admitting he needed help was something big for him, and even more expressing gratefulness at something he thought he didn’t deserve. That little spoken note guided you to a peaceful sleep with your lover safe and sound in your arms, or at least for tonight. Two simple words that didn’t need to be explained.

“Thank you” 

[fukurodianthus]

Its just skin

Synopsis: Self-love is not something that comes to you naturally. Years of self-depreciation makes it difficult to grow into the habit of loving yourself despite of the scars peppered across your skin.

But with your fiancé, Tooru Oikawa, you find yourself stealing glances into mirrors quite often. It catches you by surprise when you find yourself...beautiful?

Pairing: Tooru Oikawa X fem!reader

Genres: tooth-rotting fluff , a lil bit of angst thrown in

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: The reader suffers from body positivity issues and insecurities regarding her appearance.

Author’s note at the end!

(p.s. didnt proof read because im ✨lazy✨ might do it later when im feeling cute idk)

“Y/N-chan, can we leave already? We’re getting late for the party” Oikawa whined, tugging the sleeve of your shirt lightly.

“Tooru, stop being so impatient!” You pushed your whiny fiancé away and concentrated on covering up the acne scars and freckles peppered across your face with layers of concealer. No matter how much you tried, you could never make your skin look half as perfect as that of the girls who dominated your Instagram and YouTube feed. Every time you looked in the mirror, the taunting voices of your family members and friends would creep into your mind.

Oh my god! Whats wrong with your face?

Don’t you wash your face properly?

You’re never going to get married if you look like that Y/N! Do something about that face of yours!

Do you want me to recommend a good dermatologist to you?

No matter what the topic of the conversation was, people always found a way to bring up the topic of your skin condition in it. You could be talking about quantum physics for all they cared, they would somehow find a way to bring up the topic of your skin.

But they didn’t know all those sleepless nights you had spent on the internet looking for remedies, they didn’t know how you cried yourself to sleep every night, praying that you’ll somehow find that your skin had magically healed up when you woke up. But miracles didn’t happen in this world. At least for you, they didn’t.

You spent a humongous chunk of your salary buying medicines, serums, anything skincare specialists would recommend to you. But none of it could you fix you. Ultimately it all ended up in the trash and you ended up on the bathroom floor, sobbing as you looked into the mirror, face contorted with disgust and self-loathing.

But then, Oikawa Tooru stepped into your life. The first person who didn’t grimace as he looked at your face. He looked at it with childish wonder in his eyes, as if he was looking at something…beautiful?  Every night, when you fell asleep in his arms, his fingers softly grazing your cheeks, you felt an unfamiliar warmth blossom inside your heart. If he could love you despite your flaws, what was stopping you from doing it?

But years of self-depreciation made it difficult to develop the habit of loving yourself. There are still moments when you found you yourself drowning in self-hatred.

Take the present moment, for instance.

No matter how much concealer you caked on your face, it didn’t look half as good as you wanted it to. You let out a frustrated groan as you plopped down on the bed. How could you go to the party looking like this, especially when Oikawa would be by your side? Everyone’s appearance paled in comparison to his flawless beauty. Then how could you, of all people, ever stand beside him as an equal? You knew everyone would be comparing you with him behind your back, their jealousy-tinged voices emphasizing on how someone like you didn’t deserve to be with him. You’d always be an undeserving lover for him in their eyes.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Oikawa’s voice was laced with heavy concern. “Do you feel sick? I told you to not eat that expired candy bar last night, but you didn’t listen-”

“Tooru, its not that. I think I look very fucking ugly right now and I can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror. I can’t go to the party right now, not when I’m feeling like this.” You buried your face in a soft cushion and let out a frustrated groan as you turned over on the bed.

“Y/N, did you start putting yourself down again?” You felt him plopping down beside you on the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Tooru, don’t lie to me, my skin still looks just as bad as ever.”

“You know, sometimes I wonder if astral projections are real.”

“What? Have you finally lost it?” Your widened eyes searched his face, trying to make sense of his words.

“If it was real, then I’d pull your soul out of your body make you look at your face through my eyes. Because there’s clearly something very fucking wrong with your eyes if you cannot see how damn pretty you are.” Tooru huffed, looking at you nonchalantly as if he was stating the obvious.

“Tooru-” you whimpered, turning on your side to face him.

Tooru and his horrible pickup lines.

Gosh, how can I not love him?

His chocolate-brown eyes softened as he pulled you into his chest. The sound of his heartbeat drowned all the cacophony of all the negative thoughts cluttering your mind.

“Y/N, I thought love at first sight was way too cheesy and corny to be real. But then, one day, back in high school, I saw Iwa-chan talking to you. You looked so fucking pretty, you know? The way you’d bite your lips when you were confused, the way you’d look down and let your hair cover your face whenever you were flustered, it was so damn adorable. I might have gone down on my knees right then, if Iwa-chan hadn’t been there. He’d beat the living crap out of me for playing my ‘disgusting tricks’ on his friend.” Oikawa took your hands in his and slowly drew circles on your palm with his thumb.

“Iwa wouldn’t have to beat you up, I’d do it without a second thought if you pulled any of that shit on me. I always found you very bratty, clinging to Iwa with that radioactive sweet smile of yours.”

“Wow, I was head over heels in love with you on first sight, while your first impression of me was that I’m a brat? No wonder you were Iwa-chan’s friend, you both are so mean.” He pouted, looking at you with playful annoyance.

“That was before I got to know you. Your brattiness started growing on me, gradually. Now I’m so used to it, I think I’d forget how to breathe if I didn’t hear your annoying voice every morning.” You chuckled at how his face kept getting redder with every insult that you threw at him.

“You’re used to my brattiness? Are you implying I’m still a brat?”

“Exactly. Looks like you do have a brain.”

“The most amazing setter on this planet doesn’t have a brain, is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but instead of asking me out on a date directly, you bugged Iwa to set us up on a date until he finally shouted at you in the middle of an English class, saying ‘Alright, Shittykawa, I’ll set you up on a date with Y/N, now stop running that fucking stupid mouth of yours.’ " You stole a glance at his face, savoring his flustered expression. "I’m right, am I not?”

Oikawa’s face reddened to the extent where it seemed that he would spontaneously combust at any moment.

"Tooru, c'mon, we both were emotionally constipated fools who could never ask each other out if Iwa hadn't stepped in." You softly ran your hands over his chest, savoring the warmth radiating from him. "Now stop pouting Brattykawa."

"You and Iwa-cha, both of you can never appreciate me before backtracking, huh?" He ran his fingers through your tangled hair, slowly massaging your scalp.

He knew it always calmed you down.

"Hey, did you really find me pretty that day?" You mind went back to how you looked the day when Oikawa first saw you. Greasy hair stuck to your face, cavernous dark circles covering your under eyes, face swollen as a result of pulling all nighters for a whole week. How could anyone, let alone Oikawa find you pretty when you looked like that?

"Can you not hold a conversation for 5 seconds without putting yourself down, huh?"

" I dont think I can Tooru. It still weirds me out that you, of all people found me beautiful when I looked like such a mess."

"Y/N I think we really need to try astral projections now-"

"Tooru, I'm serious-" You whined.

He chuckled, twilring your hair in his fingertips. "Y/N, after being with you for so long, I've realized something. You look for validation in the eyes of people who couldn’t care less about you. But when finally, someone who really cares for you and sees you as who you are tells you that they are truly beautiful, you brush it off. Why do you pretend that our compliments aren't heartfelt? Why are you so scared of being appreciated?"

Every day, when he saw you stealing glances into the mirror, he noticed how disappointment flashed across your face. He knew how you beat yourself up for not being pretty enough. You were never enough for yourself.

If your mind was a place, he’d waltz into it, shredding the self-destructive thoughts gnawing at you sanity into pieces. He’d untangle the mess inside your head, shattering the walls that bars genuine compliments reach your heart.

Oikawa wasn’t the best with words, not at times like this. But he’d give it his best.

He could feel the wet spots blossoming on his shirt, as you buried your face deeper into his chest.

"Oi!  You dummy! Are you crying?"

"To-Tooru I just think th-that I d-don’t deserve your love because I'm not as good looking as-" You choked out in between an onslaught of sobs.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” He cupped your flushed cheeks and lifted your chin up, his eyes scanning your face in concern.

“Those fucking stupid scars on your face don’t define who you are, okay? Its just skin, Y/N, you are so much more than just…a piece of skin, you know? Honestly, we’re all just bags of flesh and bones if you look at it that way. Do you think I loved you because you were a particularly pretty bag of flesh and bones?” Even though you found his analogy slightly funny, you noticed how his face lit up with passion so you refrained from making any sarcastic comments. He was trying his best.

“Continue, Tooru. I’m listening.”

“I love you because of who you are. I love the way your lashes flutter when we stargaze on the roof every night, I love you how your hair is a tangled mess when you wake up, I love how your puff your cheeks in annoyance when I stop you from over-drinking coffee every night, I love how you whine when you spend hours trying to get your eyeliner right, only to end up smudging it when you rub your eyes absent-mindedly, I love how your eyes light up when I put an extra spoonful of Nutella in your sandwich…gosh, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Your grip on his hoodie tightened. He looked at you, breathlessly, scanning your face for a reaction.

Your stared at your reflection in his chocolate-brown eyes, struggling to find the right phrases to express the way his words made you feel. You felt your heart race as if it was beating in pace with a rhythm set in by a drug-induced ecstasy.

What would you call this feeling of warmth that washed over you with every syllable he uttered?

“Thank you.” You wondered if you could’ve said anything better to express how much his words meant to you. God, where were a the fancy words you had learnt from corny YA romance books when you needed them?

But he didn’t need to hear your words to know that you’d been moved by his words. Fancy phrases could never tell him what the faint rosy glow of your cheeks could.

“Stop thanking me for stuff like this. It’s my duty, Y/N. I’m your fiancé for fuck’s sake.”

“You’re such a sap Tooru.” You giggled, squishing his cheeks softly.

“Yeah but you’re hopelessly in love with this sap, so deal with it.” His grip around your waist tightened as he nuzzled his face on your neck, his hot breath fanning across your collarbones.

“Now let me go Shittykawa, we have a party to attend.” You pried his arms off your waist and sat up.

“Babe, we’re about to get married in a few months, you really need to drop that stupid nickname.”

“Hmm, let me think.” Cocking your head to your side, you pretended to be immersed in deep thought. “Nope, not happening.”

“Don’t blame me for what happens next.” Oikawa sat up and tackled you to the bed, pinning your wrists by your side.

“Ooh, now that’s hot, Tooru”

“You know whats hotter Y/N?”

“What?”

“This.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond as his hands slid down to your waist. Your breath hitched in anticipation.

And then he started tickling you.

You broke out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, kicking him, trying to get him to stop.

Two minutes later, you both lay side by side, panting, faces flushed with breathless fits of laughter.

You caught a glance of your face in the bedside mirror.

Even with your reddened face, tangled hair and smudged mascara, you looked…beautiful.

You felt beautiful.

As you nuzzled your face on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat rumbling in your ears, his words kept replaying in your mind.

“Its just skin, Y/N.”

Author’s note: ahhhhh I kinda wrote this in a flow?? Its a comfort fic/drabble???Idk what this is tbh. This is very self indulgent because I’ve suffered from skin problems(cystic acne ugh🤢) all my life, so I decided to comfort myself through this fic 🥺👉👈 . If only I had an Oikawa in my life 😩✋

N E ways, drink water, get enough sleep(lmao the irony that I’m saying this-) and remember to love yourself because you are beautiful!😤❤️I’ll come for your kneecaps if you put yourself down🤩🔪.

Reblogs would be highly appreciated!

[into-crazy]

tender

Ledger!Joker x Female Reader drabble

Summary: You're self-conscious about the smallness of your breasts. J's there to assure you that he adores them and you regardless.

Warnings- Cursing, insecure reader, self-conscious thoughts & talk, comfort, intimate touches, fluff(J style?), ages 18+

This is quite a little self-indulgent piece (what's new??) Might be tmi, but I'm a B cup & these are thoughts/feelings that pop up from time to time. I hope I didn't write J too ooc in this but.. A lady just really needs a bit of comfort from her J sometimes, you know?💜💚

I'd also like to give a special thanks & shout out to @ahsxual for encouraging me to post this & offering help when I needed it. Thank you darling!!💖💖

This has already been done before. Quite a few times actually, more than you'd want to acknowledge. And it leaves you with the same low feeling each time. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why do you think that this would somehow be different than the last times you've tried?

In front of the large mirror, you inspect your newest purchase. Which happens to be a push-up bra. You're not sure why you had thought it was a good idea to buy it, since regular bras and bralettes are your usual preferences. There was something about this one that looked promising back at the store, being it's a simple style bra with some lace detailing and a little extra padding. But now that you're here wearing it in the privacy of your bedroom, it's all just wrong.

Sure the bra helps with pushing up your boobs, making them appear larger and fuller. But that's all it really is, an illusion. A false appearance to what size they actually are. Well, now that doesn't make you feel any better. Honestly it makes you feel worse. Deceitful, like you are lying. Inevitably the truth comes out. Take it off, and your breasts remain the same. They'll always be the same. No amount of bras bought now or later will change that.

You wish you had bigger breasts.

The idea of implants had sounded appealing on a few occasions. Emphasis on few, because you'd soon scrap the concept as fast as it came and forget all about it. No matter how wonderful and tempting the visual seemed. You didn't really want to add those silicone fillers into your body. Nope, no thanks.

You just want to be able to fill up the spaces of certain tops and dresses. To have a fuller cleavage, especially when you wear low-cut shirts. To have the perfect amount to look lovely and plump in those pretty little strapless tops- it would also help with keeping the fabric in place instead of annoyingly siding downwards a lot. Which means tube tops are a hit or miss. Oh to feel amazing in a beautiful, plunging neckline dress. You've worn all of those at least once before and you'd felt nice in certain ones.

But then there were those pestering insecurities that'd find the convenience to creep up and attack you. Even when you're feeling rather confident in the moment. All it takes is one lingering glance at your chest and no other form of distraction, then there's nothing to stop the incoming negative thoughts and emotions. Flooding into your mind like a giant wave before you have the chance to secure a dam. And these thoughts can be very nasty sometimes, more relentless upon their resurface.

You felt lacking. Too small. Inadequate and unattractive.

How could J possibly find you attractive?

He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't.

What if he truly doesn't? That can't be right, surely he does. J always made it known. Showing how much he wants and adores you. He's never presented you with a reason to feel or think otherwise. No, this was all you and your doing. All of you jumping to such hasty conclusions which you feared could be true.

Does he secretly wish there was anything different about you? Would he prefer that you had larger breasts?

You were so caught up in your own self deprecating mindset, that you failed to notice J had stepped into the room. You'd left him in the living room to watch the Gotham news segment report about him and his last job. However, once the station moved on to the next topic, he quickly grew bored and moved(without even bothering to turn off the TV) in search for you. He came in rather quietly than loud and obnoxiously. Leaning against the doorway, he watched you stand there in your bra and jeans.

How he wished he could read what was going through that pretty buzzing head yours. A lot of times he was able to given his impressive attentiveness. He had an idea of what you were thinking from simply taking in how you were looking at yourself. Seeing you frustratingly fumble with the straps of the bra while examining your own chest in such displeasure and embarrassment. Now that, he didn't like that at all. So he felt the need to step in and put a stop to it.

"Knock, knock."

The sudden sound of J's voice and a couple taps on the door pulled you out of your head. Turning to face him, you timidly cross your arms over your chest in a swift attempt to cover the ridiculous garment. "Oh, h-hey. I um, didn't realize you were standing there. Did they get through your segment already?"

J quickly noted your uneasiness through your rigid posture and slightly higher tone. Similar to a child getting caught red-handed doing something either they shouldn't be doing or don't want anyone to see them doing. In this case, it was the latter. Without turning around, he smoothly closes the door and takes a couple slow steps towards you before stopping in his tracks. "Mm, ya missed the best parts. What're you up to in here?" Licking his scars as he nods at you. Though he already knew, he asked anyway.

"My bad, I didn't mean to miss it. I was just trying on some new things I'd bought." You drop your arms down to nervously pick at your fingers. Still trying to shield your chest from his gaze.

"I see that. So what's the deal with the uh, little garment there?" He points to the bra, "looks like you're not liking it too much."

"No, not really. I don't like it at all." You shake your head with an empty laugh.

"Then why're you wearing it?"

"I don't know. Because it.. it makes my boobs look bigger." You let it slip. That wasn't something you intended to say aloud. You're just already irritated and he keeps grilling you with questions you don't want to answer.

He shakes his head at you this time with an exaggerated squint, "it what- I'm sorry? Now I better have heard that wrong doll."

"No, you heard me correctly. Please J, don't make me say it again. I don't want to talk about it. I hate this damned thing enough already and I could do with less reminders." You huff, facing back towards the mirror to continue messing with the article. Hoping that J would let this go, take it as a cue to leave the room so you could remove the thing in peace.

Wishful thinking, because he didn't walk out. Deep down you'd known better but it was worth a shot. J was ever so stubborn, and he made it his notion to stay. Especially when he can sense that something's bothering you.

Coming closer he exhales heavily, "take it off. Better yet- here, let me."

You turn to see him dig into his pant pocket and pull out a switchblade. His gloveless hand clicks the blade open, but there's a slight pause in his advance. He's giving you the chance to decline whether you want him to continue or not. J would never force you, he'd never do anything to you without your consent. Of course, there are moments he could get ahead of himself when he sets his mind to something. But he'd always make sure to ask for your okay before he actually touches you. This was a silent ask.

You drop your arms down at your sides and look up at him with a small nod. Your wordless answer. He closes the space with a single, long stride. You allow him to skillfully slide the knife below the bridge, the blunt side of the metal blade feels warm against your skin. The weapon must've been tucked away very close to his thigh for the heat to transfer that abundantly. With a flick, he expertly slices the material right through the middle. As it opens up to reveal your breasts, he retracts to put the knife away while you awkwardly wiggle out of the bra. Letting it to fall down onto to floor, leaving your arms at your sides.

J's eyes skim your bare chest before landing on your eyes. "Ahh, now there's my pretty little bunny."

Your glance falls to the floor in embarrassment. "Pretty where?"

It was muttered lowly, but that was enough to get J to huff and roll his eyes with frustration. He hastily turns you around so that you're facing the mirror with him standing directly behind you. He's strong and swift in his movements, it's easy for him to maneuver you. Though even in his harsh motions, he can be somewhat gentler when he wants to be. When he needs to be, with you. You're instantly engulfed in his warmth as his arms go to wrap around your torso. Even without the thicker layers of his trench coat, blazer and vest, he's constantly hot. Both of his large hands capture each of your breasts and he draws you against his body. His darkened eyes lock with yours through the mirror.

"Right here." He breathes lowly.

You release a quiet sigh as you try to halt the tears from building behind your eyes. Being quite stubborn yourself, you refuse to cry. Which is extremely difficult with the sight of J's hands on you. Your breasts barely take up any space in his massive palms. It's downright humiliating. You gather the voice to speak. "J.. I-I appreciate that you're trying. I really do. But, this isn't helping me feel any better. I mean, look. I don't even fill up your hands."

"So what?"

"So I'm too small!" You blurt almost immediately. "There, you want me to say it directly? Well there it is! My boobs are too small. I wish they were bigger and looked nicer."

His hands slide down from your chest to rest at your hips. "I don't see anything wrong with 'em."

"Oh come on, you don't have to lie to me J. I know they're small. I feel like I'm just not enough. I wish I had big beautiful breasts. For me, and well- for you."

J listened attentively to your confession, heard how your voice is on the brink of crying. He knew about your insecurities and that you'd get self-conscious about certain things, but he wasn't aware of how bad they could get. You'd been really good at hiding them. When brought up occasionally, they were usually brushed off as nothing. But you could only bottle the emotions up for so long.

He couldn't fully grasp onto why you felt these things. There wasn't anything wrong with you in his eyes and mind. And believe him, because he never has a problem with pointing out the many flaws he finds in other people. Although most of those things were in how those so-called "civilized" people acted and behaved, not so much in how they looked. Other than that, he didn't pay any mind nor did he give a damn. J can make an exception for you because you are the only person he cares about and even he used to know what that feeling was like. He understood that these insecurities ran deep and continued to bother you, so he deemed the least he could do was listen. As for the thought that you felt you needed to look a certain way- or have more of something- for him, well he's going to have to shut that down real quick. He doesn't want you to think or feel that way, ever.

Tongue darting out to lick his red painted lips, he ponders his next words carefully. "Well.. they ah, look nice to me." You scoff unbelievably at his response and he continues, "I'm serious, doll." His grip shifts up to your breasts again, giving them a firm yet tender squeeze as he lowers his head to breathe in your ear. "Gorgeous.. all of you.." His lips brush lightly against your lobe, helping to ease your body and mind along with his low words. "I like what you've got. There's no more or no less of ya that I could want. I know I don't exactly tell ya that a lot. It's only because I figured you already knew."

His tone might've sounded a bit awkward, but you understand he is being sincere. This is not his demeanor but the fact that he's trying means a lot to you. You place your hands over his rough ones, which are still caressing your upper half. Taking a brief moment to marvel them, holding you with the intention of never letting go. His hands are dry and in need of some lotion, his fingernails grown out a bit since the last time he trimmed them, and there's speckles of dried greasepaint on his fingers. These hands are responsible for taking many lives and could end yours just as easily. But instead, they're keeping you together. They're hands you've become all familiar with attached to the man who manages to surprise you with something new every day. A man you wouldn't have any other way.

"Yeah, I know," you sigh, "and I'm sorry for snapping. It's just.. I guess I can't see what you do. I don't get what it is you find so beautiful or desirable about me. I take a long look at myself sometimes, and I don't feel the least bit attractive." You retort back to playing it off with a laugh.

J hums, leisurely shifting your combined weight between each of your legs. He won't fall for nor will he tolerate that front and unacceptable comment about yourself. "Is that so? Well that simply won't do. Looks like I oughta change that-" Suddenly he twirls you around to face him entirely. Pulling you flush against him, he growls, "right now." A grin stretches across his scarred cheeks as you release a fit of giggles. Finally, one of his favorite sounds and a sweet, real smile to accompany.

"Really?" You grab his shoulders to steady your footing, gazing up at him adoringly. Only J can tower over and peer at you with that ceaselessly menacing look in his eyes and still manage to make you feel completely safe and secure. It's not strange. You don't question it anymore. The curiosity of that notion stopped a while ago. Now you bask in the comfort it brings.

"Mhm, come here." He purrs tugging you backwards towards the bed. "I want ya in my lap facing me. You've got all my time today sweets."

Shyly complying, you happily let him guide you to your shared bed to do as he pleased. Which involved lots of appreciative caresses, enamored stares, lingering touches, deep kisses, and affectionate love bites. He made sure to give special attention to your breasts. Worshipping them with any and every type of touch he could provide. Those touches only got more firmer- rougher- as time progressed. When it came to intimacy, J couldn’t stay lenient for a long period of time, it wasn’t in his manner. Nonetheless, you appreciated all of his affections the same. Not a lot was said and there really didn't have to be. He'd gotten his point across to you.

J was always a man of action, he spoke more truth with his body than with words. It's in the way he'd touch and look at you which spoke so much. Occasionally, he chose to indulge you with words. Though it was never anything remotely gushy and touchy-feely like- expressing any profound feelings or direct proclamations of love- as that wasn't him. However you understood him through what ever language he chose to communicate to you with. Through those elaborate languages could you find the confessions he didn't speak aloud. You'd understand, for they were there only for you.

This was supposed to be a drabble, oops. I don't know what happened😅

[doloresdraws]

‘When I look back on my life It's so hard to face you I never wanted to fight this fight I'm ashamed of the truth No, I don't want to hurt you, baby I don't want to hurt you, baby I didn't mean to hurt you, baby

God, I'm sorry’

When I look back on my life I never wanted this fight (I don't want to hurt you baby) If I could turn back time (I don't want to hurt you baby) I would make it alright (I don't want to hurt you baby)

I love you, I love you sunshine’

Unbelievable, but I painted something new and even managed to finish it in two sittings.

Finally a proper painting of my Sabbat Nosferatu character Fox for our upcoming Sabbat game set in San Francisco. Since his story didn’t start yet I can only share something about his background.

Fox came to San Francisco from a small town in Ohio to escape a brewing unhappiness and resentment towards his mother and responsibility of caring for his two younger sisters that in his eyes slowed him down. He was tired of having to act like an adult in his family and also having to endure the looks and gossips of his classmates, because everyone knew what his mother did for a living to be able to take care of her three kids.

He had these naive dreams that living in California will bring him more and better opportunities to make good money and to live the life he often saw on tv growing up. He really wanted to become something, to prove his mother that you can get money with honest, not self-degrading work. He really hoped that he will be able to earn enough money to ensure that his sisters will never end up in the same line of work as his mother.  Of course the reality was not quite how he imagined, he struggled to find work at first, having to even spend a few nights sleeping in the park, but with his determination and eagerness to do just almost any work he was able to find various construction work and other small odd jobs to sustain his basic human needs. A lot of his colleagues were of Mexican and Venezuelan origin and through daily socializing with them he actually picked up some Spanish. He was still looking for a better, stable job but even though he often had little money to go on, he was adamant to stay clear of any criminal work. After about 6 months he was able to secure a job as the sewage treatment plant worker, it wasn’t as glorious work as he dreamed of and the surroundings were often very unpleasant, but he hid his pride and put his best efforts to do his job well. He quickly became very good at it and was even promoted, with the extra money he was able to rent a small apartment.Although far from how he imagined it, his life for the next few years was quite good, he managed to find himself a girlfriend and was planning to get marry to her, the biggest problem was that Gloria was in the US illegally, so he had to figure out how to make it happen.

Unfortunately everything changed when Fox got into an accident during his work when a gas pipe exploded and a fire had started. He was one of the few people injured, but unfortunately for Fox, he was the one who got the most severe burns that covered about 40% of his body, unfortunately also his lower half of the face, neck and hands. After this accident his life spiraled quickly, his company had friends in higher places, so instead of paying for health bills of their workers, they actually scapegoated Fox and sued him and his group of workers for the accident. He had no money for a fancy lawyer, so he lost the case, together with his medical bills his debts started piling up. His personality changed, he was angry or didn't speak at all for days. Gloria tried to help him and tried to be by his side, but he hated the fact that he could see the pity on her face whenever she looked at him. So he really started being mean to her so she would leave him alone, right now he didn't want anyone around. One day it got out of hand and he pushed her out of the door and told her never to come back, that she should get back to her Taco country or something offensive like that. He also managed to shout some Spanish insults at her, his words really hurt her as she ran away with tears.After a few days he felt really bad for breaking the things between him and Gloria in such a horrible way. He knew deep down that he needed her and wanted her by his side, even if it hurt to see how she looked at him, he knew that she was worth it. She actually never showed him where she lived before, so obviously the only places to look for her were the areas where she used to work. He hated to go outside and interact with people as they would always look at him the same, with pity and disgust, but he wanted to try to make up with Gloria. Yet when he asked in the bar the manager said that Gloria didn’t come to work in a last few days. He then went to ask around in the market she used to help and one of the women there told him that two days ago there was a police investigation and that they took a lot of people without proper papers away and that Gloria was among them.

Once again Fox felt absolutely helpless, she was probably detained and ends up deported back to Mexico and there is nothing he can do about it. He had no money, he didn’t even know where exactly she was. That night he bought a few bottles of tequila, drank as much as he could before he felt sick and threw up, which fucking hurt as all of his scars weren't fully healed yet. He hated himself, it was his fault she ended up on the street and now she is gonna end up back in Mexico with her last memories of him will be him yelling all this horrible shit to her face. He was ashamed of himself.

After this his life got even worse, now he had no emotional support, no friends, no job, painful scars that made him look like a monster. He usually spent his days staring at the ceiling, he couldn't really drink much as it was just too nasty, so he just existed for a while. His debts forced him to find work, but he couldn't do physical jobs he was used to anymore, he managed to find some odd jobs, probably because people felt bad for him which he resented. He even worked in 7/11 store, but all of his jobs were just temporary, he couldn’t keep any of them for more than for a week. It was not that his employers were unhappy with him, but Fox couldn’t just stand all the stares and pity looks he got from his employers, coworkers and customers. It didn't take long and he couldn’t keep up with the rent and when he lost the apartment, he became homeless. He could of course get back to his mother, but he actually didn't even notify neither him or his sister about his accident, he didn't want to be a burden and also he had too much pride to ever getting back to that shitty small town. All he wanted was to hide from people, to be spared of their pitiful glances and their talk about how strong he was. He wasn’t strong, he was a shitty, pathetic person who abandoned his family, resented his own mother, he failed his sisters and he treated the person that he loved as a Punchbag for his spite and insecurities, and now she will probably end up in some kind of human trafficking ring, because of him.

I will talk about his Embrace in more detail in some future post, but basically he was a shovelhead who somehow managed to get a chance to prove himself to the Sabbat. Although he loves his pack( some more than others) he still isn’t quite convinced by the Sabbat’s ideology, his biggest difficulty being the ever-present unnecessary violence, he still tries to cling to the last bits of humanity inside of him and that often leads to dissatisfaction from the Bishop and thus reflecting badly on his pack. He is torn between trying to fit in and wanting to measure up to his fellow Cainites and to do what feels right in his heart…

I am honestly very excited to finally play a Nosferatu. ❤

Fox © me/doloresdraws lyrics  ©  Hurt by Meg Myers

[softcallofdutyimagines]

An oddly specific hc:

Weaver, Mason, Woods, Adler, and Hudson with an S/O who likes to give+recieve cuddles. (Guess whose love language is physical touch? Is me.)

DJDJDJSJ LITERALLY ALL OF MY HUSBANDS IN ONE ASK !!!! You know, love languages for the squad might be an interesting one, one day! I feel you tho, mine is words of affirmation but physical touch is a super close second 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Phew I went kind of all in on these, so sorry of they're really long or rambly, but I hope you enjoy them!! Weaver and Woods even feature a little dad bod action bc ik that's our thing 😌😌💅🏻

Adler

Honestly, at first he's not use to it

In fact, you'd be forgiven to think he didn't like it at all

However, he never shuts you down either...

If you persevere for long enough and are able to gain his trust, you'll be rewarded to find that he actually quite enjoys your touch

Well, more then enjoys I'd say

Adlers job is a lonely and thankless one, and although he could hardly bring himself to admit as much...

The loneliness takes a toll on him

He is only interested in receiving that kind of affection from someone he has a connection with, so as you can imagine, it's harm for him to get that need fulfilled without you

In a way, he grows rather addicted to you

You're the first thing he goes for when he comes home after time away

All in all, he's down for whatever you've got to give, but his favorite thing to do is to hold you

Whether that be while cuddled up and or just standing in place, it doesn't matter to him

In turn, he particularly likes when you stroke his jawline or pepper him with kisses

He's very sensitive about his face and scars as you know, doubly so after the torture and rescue stuff he went through

So when you show extra affection to that spot, not only is it a huge sign of his trust in you, but it also just so happens to make him melt

Hudson

Hudson is an extremely similar case to Adler in that, although you wouldn't guess it, he craves physical touch

In fact, Hudson might be even worse off

I would argue that at least Adler works with his task force members, but Hudson???

He's more or less forced to stick to the shadows and only speak to others on a more or less need to know basis

Given that cannon Hudson has a whole wife and kids, I get the feeling that he just wants to be loved damn it!!!

So all this to say that, unlike Adler, I don't think Hudson would be even remotely as coy with his desire for affection

I mean, if you've managed to snag a relationship with him, he must trust you a whole lot already, so why not just clear the air, right?

However, I will say that I think he might be a little shy about it

What if he comes across as too needy or something? Not a good look for a grown man, surely

As a result, if he has nothing more pressing to attend to, he'll be your shadow around the house all day long, from one room to the next

Of course, he does his best to not follow you step for step or do anything else that would obviously give him away, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he wants

You'll have to invite him to come to you most of the time

And good thing too, bc when he's with you, it's like heaven

He's fond of simply collapsing into your lap when your seated, or across your torso when laying down

From there, you can do whatever you want

If you really wanted, you could balance a damn book on his back and just read in silence for all he cares

As long as he can have that physical connection to you, it doesn't matter

This is another area where he's a step up in extreme from Adler

While Adler wants you, Hudson needs you

You're like his one place of rest in the whole world, the only place he can be safe and forget about his work, and you have no idea how much that means to him

Mason

Personally, I think Alex is probably the one most (relatively lmao) well adjusted adult of the group

He of course loves receiving physical affection from you, but he doesn't need to rely on it as some sort of coping mechanism

While he can be a little clingy, its a usually only after times that he has to be away for a long while

Personally, I feel like Alex is the safest for me to say that he probably also has physical touch as his love language as well!

He will often come seek you out just as much as you so for him, and he has no problem requesting some snuggle time

Mason is perfectly confident in his masculinity after all, so asking if you wouldn't mind cuddling him is a simple task in his eyes

The height of his interest in touch comes when he's trying to sleep though

He's prone to pretty awful night terrors given all that he's been through, so I'd say that's the only real time that he truly does rely on you and your gift

Even if it's just something as small as holding his hand while you lay next to him, any little bit helps

He definitely notices more difficulty sleeping when you're not around, so he's thankful for you for sure

Mason is also pretty big on pda I think lol

Like holding hands, hugging, and kissing...

None of that bothers him!

Although he enjoys nearly all forms of touch from you, he'd have to admit that he loves it the most even you run his back or hold his hands

It's... Comforting

Weaver

Off, poor Weaver, he's a mess

Imagine someone who burns with an all consuming desire just to be touched damn it !!! like Hudson does, and yet has ten times the reservations and insecurities about it as Adler does

That's close to what Weaver is like

He's extremely shy around you, just to start off

In fact, he's probably still star struck that you actually wanted to be in a relationship with him in the first place

And so, he's not sure how to act...

He really is a big softie on the inside, and yet he's not sure if you'd like that

After all, he's the big, tough Russian guy to everyone else

That's who you met, so it would make sense that that's what you want, right?

While Hudson would warm up after a while and, albeit awkwardly I'm sure, ask you for some cuddling time or some such...

... Weaver almost never asks, but will instead make it painfully obvious that he wants it lol

It definitely does not help that he's quite insecure with his appearance

These days, he's a just a touch more soft and round then he use to be, and that's on top of his missing eye and greying hair

If you are of the opinion that such things only make him more suited for cuddling, warm and comfy as he is, it will take him an awful long time to believe you

Buuuuuuut...

Although he loves to pretend he only tolerates his at best, he does rather enjoy it when you give his chest or tummy some affection

It's sort of like Adler and his scars: Weaver loathes the state of his abdomen, amongst other things, but he must admit...

He likes that you like it

Woods

Geez, Woods is probably as opposite from Weaver as it gets

I once heard the phrase "a dog in human form", and honestly?

It doesn't get more accurate then that

This man lives for attention and the fact that you want to give it to him, drives him crazy

He's pretty shameless, and is down to be touched or felt basically whenever

It's to the point that he's taken up walking around the house shirtless just in anticipation of any cuddling or rubs to be had

He's a bit performative about it, which can be either entertaining or annoying depending, but he never misses an opportunity to show off his muscles to you and let you have a feel

Really though, anywhere you want to touch, however you want to do it, go ahead baby! He'll eat it up lmao

Of course, if you catch him at a time in his life where he's going the route of Weaver and developing some dad bod...

Totally different story

If that's the case, he's extremely adverse to letting you touch places like his thighs, chest, and of course his stomach

Really, just anywhere that's filled out

Which in his mind, could very well extend to his body as a whole

Needless to say, this creates a very powerful inner turmoil between his desire to be near to you and impress you, and his fear of rejection

With this Woods, it'll take a loooot of gentle touches and reasurace to bring him around

But once he trusts you, he's be right back to how toned Woods would act

Bare chested, tummy out, and ready for some lovin 😌

[omniscientreaderr]

hi! need input lol i found out about the villain wrangler au and got so inspired :) haven't actually written in a hot 5 years but apparently i can bang out 1.1k words for a story but not my homework :" i actually wanted to write more but didn't know if it be offensive in any way. so yes input thank you - be kind djfkdkke I'm scared but I'm really open to feedback :)) ok dankes to whoever actually sees this! have a great day

- (this is after the VW gets saved, and the one that saved him is meeting to give the girl a pep talk) -

The villain shuffles into the hospital, meeting with the eyes of the VW as he glances up from his clipboard.

VW: “hey! Thanks for saving me the other day :) appreciate it! You ready to meet the girl?”

B: “yeah…as ready as I’ll ever be, I guess? What am i suppose to say? I don’t do fancy motivational speeches like that captain, I don’t know how i’m supposed to encourage and help her…she’s going to be insecure, she’s going to be wallowing in a pit of uncertainty over whether she’s ever going to be…accepted. How am i supposed to help a girl with that?!”

The VW looks over at him with a gentle smile, steering B into a nearby seat, setting his clipboard on the nurse’s tray next to them.

“Hey. Hey. The fact that you know how she will feel, the fact that you worry about whether you can help her, is all that matters. You don’t need fancy words designed to psychologically rouse the masses - i personally have always found them pretentious - you just need to tell her what you’ve always wished to hear. Speak from the heart. Words really don’t come easy, but the rawest, most truthful and touching ones are those that come from the place of absolute vulnerability. Words from the mind, touch the mind. But words from your heart? They touch the heart.” He laughs, taking a pause. “Honestly, I could go on a whole spiel about why is it the speeches of villain appeal to the masses, and how they always gain so much support. You’ve got this.”

B simply nods, giving the VW a small smile, before resuming chewing on his bottom lip. Standing outside the girl’s door, he lifts his hand to knock on the door, before dropping it again. He pauses, leaning backwards against the adjacent wall. “What am I doing? Me? A fuckin pyromaniac helping a little girl? Heck, I can do fighting that obnoxious righteous moral spewing jackass in tightey-whiteys. I can do getting dropped from 10 stories. I could even do pickin up ladies with just my words. But this? No. No way in hell am i walking in there, just to disappoint that kid.”

He walks away, ready to tell the VW that sorry to disappoint, but he couldn’t do this.

The door to the room swings open, a nurse bustling out with her cart. He presses himself against the corner, hiding from the view of the nurse. He glances over, catching sight of a tiny, fragile girl in that all-too-big white sterile room, sitting up on her bed with a sad smile on her face. The door closes all too soon, but that sparks something inside him. He walks towards her door and knocks, as if guided by some impulse, a duty towards this little child.

“Come in! Did you forget something, R? I promise you that if it’s your stethoscope it’s gone!”

He takes a step in, still shrouded in the darkness that the entryway is covered in.

“OH! Hello! Are you lost? Do you need help getting somewhere?”

She beams at him, turning her body slightly to see him, and he sees it. He’s struck by the image of a child scarred across half her body, snaking past her uncovered arms and legs…and across her face, where a pure, warm and joyful smile sits.

He brushes his long fringe back and finds himself rolling up his long sleeves, almost unconsciously. For the first time, in possibly his whole life, he was willing to let someone see him. See him, with his scars on display, not hidden behind a mask, or his hair, or the long sleeves he always wore. He wanted someone to see him. He…wanted to let this girl know she was not alone, that she was not broken.

He stepped forward into the light, quirking his lips into an awkward, unsure smile.

“Hi, Emilia, I’m B, and a little birdie told me you wanted to meet me, so here I am.”

The child shoots upright, nearly clambering out of bed to rush to him.

(Ok she becomes quieter because the dialogue is meant to be poignant. The atmosphere is quiet. It’s two people reflecting, basking in the presence of the only person who understands their pain. There’s no need for pretences, to push the traits that make you likeable.)

Alarmed, he takes large strides to her bedside, catching her before she topples over, having gotten tangled in her blankets. He lifts her back up, before scratching his head, taking a seat next to her bed.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to touch you without your permission.”

The child says nothing, simply nodding her head excitedly, grinning at him. She reaches for his arm, and he places it in her open hand. It’s so tiny. She’s so small. She’s adorable.

She traces his scars, and he waits for the wave of insecurity to hit him. For the voice that urges him to pull back his sleeve and not let anyone see his wounds. But today, it stays quiet. She points to her own healing wounds from the grafting surgery, saying, “Same.”

Now that he’s near her, he’s hit by the full brightness of her smile, the enthusiasm at seeing him, the anticipation of what he would do or say, and something pulls at his heartstrings, and loosens the string of tension and worry that has been restricting his tongue.

“Sorry. I’m not very good at this, haha.”

He pauses. The child offers another encouraging smile, holding his calloused hands with both of her hands.

“I guess…I wanted to let you know that these scars don’t matter. They don’t. They don’t take away the warmth of your smile, the fact that you brighten up the day of everyone around you. They don’t…they don’t…take away your worth. Or any of your beauty. Fu- AHahah don’t listen to anyone who tells you this. It’s a long road, but you’re not alone.”

“Not alone”, the kid repeats. “Not alone”. He notices tears in her eyes, tears that he doesn’t realise are reflected in his own eyes, and he is struck by the comfort that he finds in them. He isn’t alone.

He wills his tears back, giving her a brighter grin. “Did you know that in some cultures, scars are actually seen as signs of bravery? The more you had, the more brave you were among the tribes. They were warriors, feared, esteemed, respected for their wounds. You must be a mighty fine warrior. I bow in your presence, my lady.”

Their peals of laughter reverberates through the ward, ringing in the ears of concerned nurses, hiding watery smiles, in the ears of the kid’s anxious parents, sobbing into each other. She’s laughing. She’s happy. Not those calculated smiles and calculated giggles that hide a lot of pain and insecurity, full of the desire to be…desirable, but one of pure joy. One, of a child rediscovering their youth.

(Unfin.)

[pianomanblaine]

Healing Scars

Being intimate with Erik is more than Christine could have ever dreamed of, but when she realises how insecure Erik feels about his body, she is determined to make him see how much she desires him.

AO3 FFN

They had only been intimate a handful of times since their wedding, but Christine was addicted already. His hands on her skin stoked a fire inside of her that she would gladly be consumed by. She would burn for all eternity if it only meant he never stopped touching her.

Inexperienced as he was – as they both were – Erik was a quick study, cataloguing every breathy moan and whimper for future reference, finding those places on her body where she liked most to be touched and kissed, and lavishing attention on them until she felt she would explode with pleasure. He worshipped her as if she were his personal goddess.

She wanted nothing more than to return the favour, mapping his body with her hands, her lips, her tongue, to discover all the delicious sounds her Maestro could make. Whenever she attempted to start her explorations, however, he would always find a way to stop her. Most of the time she didn’t even realise it was happening. Before she even had the time to think about it he had her pinned underneath him, distracting her with his mouth and his talented musician’s fingers until she couldn’t remember her own name, let alone what she had been planning to do.

Tonight was turning out to go down a similar path.

Christine was completely naked already, but Erik had yet to shed any clothing apart from his vest, shoes and socks. Determined to rectify the situation, she started to unbutton his shirt. She had barely reached the third button when she felt his hands cover hers, guiding them away from his chest towards his face. It was then, when she felt the twisted skin of his unmasked face beneath her fingers – it had taken some convincing before he agreed to leave off his mask during their lovemaking – that she realised how desperately he wanted to keep her attention away from the rest of his body.

‘Erik, what’s wrong?’ she asked, straightening up on her knees where she was sitting on the bed to look at him.

‘Nothing at all, my love,’ he replied a little too quickly, not meeting her eyes as he spoke.

‘Then why won’t you let me look at you?’

‘My dear,’ he chuckled nervously, ‘you are looking at me.’

‘That’s not what I meant, and you know it.’ She winced slightly at how harsh her voice sounded to her own ears, but she couldn’t help feeling a little hurt by his constant rejection of her touch.

Erik remained silent, restlessly kneading the fabric of the mattress beneath his fingers.

Very well then, she thought, it seemed like action on her part was needed to draw him out.

She moved to straddle him, and when he still refused to look at her she brought a finger under his chin, softly pushing up his face in a gesture he had used on her so many times before until he couldn’t avoid her gaze any longer.

‘I can tell something is wrong, love. Please tell me what it is. I promise I won’t judge, I only want to help.’

Erik sighed deeply, taking her hand and placing a soft kiss on her palm before finally answering.

‘I haven’t let you look at me because… Well, frankly, because I’m ugly.’

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she kept quiet, allowing him the chance to elaborate.

‘You have been so extraordinarily kind as to allow me into your bed. You continue to insist that you want to see my face, which I still find hard to fathom, but I cannot deny you if that is what you truly wish. However, I simply cannot bear for you to look upon this hideous body, Christine.’

Her heart broke a little at his admission. She grabbed his face with both hands and tried to pour every ounce of love she felt for him into her eyes and into her next words.

‘Darling, how can you think your body would disgust me? You’ve told me that you have scars, but I honestly wouldn’t mind them. They’re simply another part of you, just like your face, and I’ve told you time and again that I don’t want you to hide your face any longer. I want to see the real you. No masks. No barriers.’

‘Oh Christine,’ he murmured, closing his eyes briefly before continuing, a pained expression crossing his features. ‘You say that now, but you don’t understand. Your body is so smooth and soft and beautiful.’ He gently trailed a hand from her breast down to her waist to emphasise his words and her breath hitched at the featherlight touch. ‘Mine is hard and sharp, every inch of skin covered in scars. And unlike my face, which has been my burden since birth, these scars have not always been there. They were put there deliberately by people who wanted to harm me but didn’t live to tell the tale. Every single one of those scars is a reminder of a monstrous past that haunts me, no matter how badly I want to forget.’

Christine was lost for words. She knew about his past and wished more than anything that she could take all that pain away, but nothing she could do would erase what had happened to him.

She had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could say anything.

‘I’m so sorry you feel that way, but I need you to know that I meant what I said. I hate that the scars are there because it means you suffered physically as well as mentally, but they don’t disgust me, Erik. The past is behind us, and right now I am only interested in the present and the future.’

He looked at her disbelievingly, although Christine thought she could see hope begin to shimmer through in his gaze. ‘A future with me, scars and all?’

‘Of course,’ she assured him. ‘Erik, I love you. I’ve told you so before and I will keep telling you until you’re sick of hearing it.’

He scoffed at her words. ‘Even if they were the only words you spoke to me for the rest of your life, I could never tire of hearing them,’ he swore, his eyes burning through her with that same passion she had seen there every time they had been intimate since their wedding night.

‘That might be true, but no matter how many times I say it, I’m still not convinced that you believe me.’

He opened his mouth to protest, but she brought a finger to his lips to silence him.

‘I think there’s a part of you that still believes I will run at the first opportunity. That you are undeserving of love. But you’re not, Erik. So please, let me show you how much I love you, as you have showed me.’

A single tear rolled down the deformed side of his face, telling her that he had recognised the truth in her words, and she bent down to catch the little bead of moisture with her lips. She continued to cover his face with kisses until she felt him shudder underneath her. Her fingers sought out his on the mattress, giving them a little reassuring squeeze.

‘Trust me,’ she whispered, her warm breath tickling his ear, ‘please’.

Trust was a hard thing for him to learn given his past, she understood that, but she also knew that he was unable to refuse her anything and she was proven right when he indicated his assent with a single nod. His golden eyes pleaded with her, for what she did not know, but she made a silent vow there and then that she would do everything in her power to be worthy of his trust.

Christine kept looking him in the eye as she continued to undress him. He didn’t try to stop her again, but shrugged off his shirt when she was done unbuttoning it, dropping it on the ground next to the bed. She recalled how he had described his body as hard and sharp, and it was true. Erik was terribly skinny, so thin she could easily count his ribs. But beneath all of that lay an incredible strength, and so much passion it took her breath away. Skinny he might be, but weak he was certainly not. There was nowhere on earth she felt safer than wrapped up in his arms. If only she could make him see that.

She captured his lips in a soft, reassuring kiss, but when he moved to deepen it, she leaned back.

‘Lie back for me?’ she asked and as he obeyed without complaint, an idea struck her and she guided his hands above his head. ‘I want you to keep your hands here. Don’t move.’

‘What?’

She felt him tense beneath her, the initial confusion in his eyes quickly transforming into panic.

‘No. No Christine, please, don’t ask this of me,’ he begged, ‘I can’t.’

‘Shhh, don’t worry, love,’ she murmured, interlacing her fingers with his, ‘I’ll take care of you.’

‘But I – I need to touch you.’

It was true, he always had his hands on her during their lovemaking, squeezing and caressing every bit of skin he could reach, as if to make sure that she was still there. As if he needed to be certain that she would not simply disappear into thin air. But if she allowed him to touch her, he would certainly use it to distract her whenever he started to feel self-conscious under her ministrations and that is exactly what she did not want to happen. Tonight would be about him.

He tried to wriggle his hands free, but she pushed them back down unto the bed.

‘I know, and you will,’ she promised. ‘Just not yet.’

For a moment Erik looked as if he would object further, but no words left his lips. He simply gazed at her with a mix of fear, hope and adoration. Christine continued to whisper soothing words in his ear, rubbing gentle circles into the palms of his hands with her thumbs until the tension slowly seeped out of him.

Finally, finally she could explore her husband’s body like she had always wanted to, but she had to take things slow for his sake. She wanted him to feel every bit as loved and wanted as he made her feel every day.

Arms were a safe place to start, she decided. She let her hands wander from his palm to his wrist and down his upper arm, following a prominent vein with her fingers, keeping her touch light and soft. She noticed a few scars here and there, but there weren’t all that many. The majority of them must be situated on his torso then, she suspected.

She kept her focus on his arms for a while. When she looked up after a minute or two, his eyes were closed, his limbs loose, body practically melting into the mattress. She couldn’t recall ever seeing him so relaxed. It was such a difference compared to his desperate, panicked state mere moments ago and she silently congratulated herself on the progress she was making.

She mapped out the same trail her fingers had followed with her lips and Erik let out a contented hum. While her mouth left little kisses across his upper arms, her hands continued their path downward until they reached his armpits. He hissed at the tickling sensation, but didn’t otherwise protest as she explored further.

After his arms, she concentrated on his neck and throat, committing to memory the beautiful moans he uttered as she grazed her teeth across his skin before soothing the sting with her tongue. ‘I love this spot,’ she murmured, placing a lingering kiss on the bit of skin between his jaw and his earlobe. ‘I love how sensitive you are here.’ He didn’t reply, but tried to push closer to her lips, wordlessly asking for more. It was all the encouragement she needed.

From there, she let her hands and mouth wander lower, towards his chest, and that’s where she started encountering more scars.

He opened his eyes and tensed slightly when her fingers brushed the first one, watching her intently. She felt the rough ridges of flesh beneath her fingertips, but they didn’t evoke revulsion as Erik expected they would. All she wanted was to caress them until they became a source of pleasure rather than pain. She skimmed her fingers over every scar that came across her path, coaxing little whimpers from his lips, and then kissed and licked the marred skin until he was writhing with need underneath her. ‘I love you,’ she whispered into his skin in between kisses and hoped he understood how badly she truly wanted him, with or without scars.

When she thought he was starting to feel overwhelmed, she shifted her focus to his nipples instead, watching with fascination as they hardened at her touch. The needy moan that escaped his throat as she swirled her tongue around the little buds made desire pool hot in her stomach. She knew from experience how incredible it felt when he did that to her, but she hadn’t expected it would be just as pleasurable for a man. This was definitely a spot she would come back to in the future.

As she scooted down to focus her ministrations on his stomach, she felt his hard length, still caught beneath his trousers, brush against her naked buttocks and he bucked up against her.

‘Please, my love,’ he panted, ‘please, I need you. Let me touch you. Let me have you.’

She had originally planned to move on to his cock next, using her hands and mouth to pleasure him before letting him into her body, but he seemed so desperate already and to be honest, she wasn’t sure she could make herself wait much longer either. Witnessing his pleasure, knowing she was the one to make him feel that way, only fuelled her desire for him. God, he was beautiful, and he was hers, and she needed him.

Without further ado she unbuttoned his trousers and removed them, and he groaned when her fingers brushed his cock. She noted that he didn’t move his hands to help her undress him, still obeying her command to keep them above his head.

As soon as she was settled above him again, his hips started moving, rubbing his cock against her ass, causing her to let out a needy whimper of her own.

‘Yes, okay, give me your hands,’ she ordered him, and he was only too eager to comply. She placed one of his hands on her breast, which he started squeezing immediately, moaning loudly when he was finally allowed to touch her. His other hand she brought to her entrance, guiding two fingers inside and wasting no time in pumping her hips against them. Her breath hitched at the delicious stretch and when he brought his thumb against her nub and started rubbing in little circles, she nearly reached her peak there and then. But tonight was about him. His pleasure was her priority now.

She thrust down on his fingers a few more times before moving off of them and from the moment he had both hands free, they were all over her body. It was as if, now that he was finally able to touch her, he couldn’t decide where to start, wanting to feel her everywhere at once. She let his hands roam her body, revelling in the feeling of his long, slender fingers against her skin. When his hands started drifting down her stomach towards her mound she stopped him. Instead she guided them to her backside and then took his length in her hand, positioning it at her entrance and slowly sinking down on it, never breaking eye contact.

The way he moaned her name once he was fully inside of her was a sound she would never tire of hearing. She could tell by the look on his face that he was trying to hold back, giving her time to adjust, but she was having none of that. She started sliding up and down his length, urging him to move and when he did, she bent forward, capturing his lips in a demanding kiss.

He buried a hand in her hair, pulling her closer still and taking control of the kiss, licking and sucking at her mouth like he could never get enough. When coming up for air became unavoidable, he moved his lips to her neck, latching on to her pulse point and sucking hard. She cried out his name in ecstasy.

‘Erik! Erik, I love you so much.’

‘I love you too,’ he gasped, ‘God, how I love you.’

He was pumping into her in a frantic rhythm now and she knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He usually made sure she reached her climax before chasing his own, but that was not how she wanted it to go this time.

‘Let go, love,’ she urged him, ‘don’t wait for me. Take what you need.’

A deep groan rumbled from his chest and in a single fluid motion, he grabbed her and spun them around so he was on top of her. Erik pounded into her at a relentless pace until she was seeing stars. He tilted up her hips a little, slightly changing the angle of his thrusts so his cock was pushing right against that bundle of nerves which caused sparks to shoot through her entire body. With one final pump of his hips, he spent himself inside her, repeating her name over and over again as if it was the only word he knew, and he took her right over the edge with him.

He collapsed on top of her and Christine had never felt more cherished and at ease than there, pinned underneath his weight. She was unable and unwilling to move, wishing she could stay in this moment with him forever.

When their heavy breathing had returned to normal, Erik slowly blinked open his eyes and gazed down on her with unbridled adoration and devotion. He kissed her on one cheek, then the other, then her nose, her chin, her forehead, peppering her whole face with kisses, making her giggle, and then finally planted a sweet, lingering kiss on her lips.

‘You are an exceptional woman and I cannot believe my luck that you are mine,’ he said reverently.

Christine beamed up at him, her heart fit to burst with all the love she felt for this extraordinary, beautiful man.

‘Then it seems we are both extremely lucky.’

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Alone (2/2)

Leviathan x gn!MC

Content Warnings - implied/reference self harm, self harm scars, LOTS of angst, kinda Yandere Levi, setting healthy relationship boundaries, happy ending

Summary -  After talking to Mammon, you manage to figure out what’s wrong with Levi and the two of you have a serious heart to heart, setting some important boundaries. PART ONE HERE

Chapter 2 - After

You had barely been able to concentrate during school. Your thoughts were full of Levi and what had happened this morning. You weren’t sure what had caused him to snap like that, but you were willing to bet it had something to do with why he was so upset yesterday. Now if only you could figure out what had upset him then, you might be able to figure out a way to help.

You sighed again, as you poked the food on your plate. It was lunch time now and normally you would be texting Levi to see how things were going in his classes and to update him on your day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that until you got your thoughts in order and had a proper conversation with him.

“Whattya sighin’ for? Ya been doing it all day and it’s startin’ ta get on my nerves.”

Though he was trying to sound annoyed, you could tell that Mammon was concerned. He had apologized to you while helping you prepare breakfast for crashing your date with Levi yesterday. He knew he should have changed his plans once he realized everyone else wanted to tag along. (He didn’t bother to try to deny the fact that he still would have shown up on his own if it had been possible.)

You had been quick to forgive him, which Mammon appreciated, but he also wasn’t sure you had been really listening to him all that much. Your mind had seemed to be elsewhere. Normally he would have called you out on it too, demanding you pay attention to The Great Mammon and act a bit more grateful he was helping you out. But he got the feeling that even if he had said anything it wouldn’t have made a difference - you just seemed that distracted.

“Hey. Ya gonna tell me what’s up?”

His voice had softened now, the teasing tone gone. You looked up to see Mammon watching you intently. You tried to offer him a smile, but you were unsuccessful and the face you made was somewhere between pain and worry.

“I...ummm...promise this stays between us ok? You can’t tell ANYONE. And you have to promise that you will not try to do anything about it. Ok?”

Mammon did not like the sound of that. He furrowed his brow, but agreed nonetheless.

“I...I got in a fight with Levi. I think at least. I’m not sure. This morning he just wasn’t...well, he wasn’t himself. And it kinda scared me. So I left. And we haven’t talked yet. I don’t even know what to say to him.”

Mammon listened closely to your words. He still didn’t know what happened, but he could tell you were doing everything you could to avoid saying it. A fight with Levi? Pfft. What did you do? Insult Ruri-chan? How could you not be sure if you had a fight? And what do you mean Levi wasn’t….

“HE WHAT?!” Mammon jumped to his feet, ready to head home immediately and beat the living daylights out of his younger brother. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That pathetic, whiny brat transformed on you?! What the fuck was he thinking??

“Mammon! Please! Calm down!”, you pleaded with him. People were staring now and you really didn’t want to cause a scene. The last thing you needed was more trouble with angry demons, upset because you disturbed their lunch.

Taking one look at you, Mammon sat down with a huff. He was still ready to rip Levi limb from limb, but had promised you that he wouldn’t try to do anything about what you had told him. He’d just have to come up with some reason to teach him a lesson later.

“Fine.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t like it was on purpose…”

“That’s even worse!”

“...He was just so upset. He was scared of something, but I don’t know what. And he just kept asking me not to leave.”

“So what are ya gonna do? You’re not seriously going back to him, are ya?”

“Of course I’m going back to him! Don’t be ridiculous. He didn’t actually DO anything. He got upset, but he let me go.

I just...need to find out what happened to him that got him so worked up. Everything seemed to be going so well until yesterday afternoon when y’all showed up at the tea house.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Errrr...well…kinda?”

You were glaring at Mammon now. ‘Kinda’ my ass, you thought.

“Alright alright! Stop lookin’ at me like that! I’ll tell ya! Sheesh.

Ok. So look. Levi’s the Avatar of Envy right? Means he gets jealous real easy. Up until now, y’all have sorta been off in your own little world and haven’t paid much attention to the rest of us.

But yesterday, we all showed up durin’ your date, yeah? When Levi wasn’t even at the table.

So I’m thinkin’ he saw us all talkin’ and havin’ fun and whatever and got jealous. And that’s what set him off.”

Ah. That made sense. Why didn’t you think of that earlier? How could you possibly be so dense as to not notice that your own boyfriend was jealous?? He’s the personification of Envy for crying out loud! You knew that! Jealousy should have been the first thing you suspected given the timing of everything.

“Ughhhhh,” you groaned, leaning back in your seat, covering your face with your hands. Just how oblivious were you?

“So, this morning, when he was saying all the stuff about not wanting me to leave….”

“Probably ‘cause he was feeling insecure and scared ya’d leave ‘im for good.”

You let out another loud groan of frustration at your own stupidity. You didn’t mean to, but you had hurt Levi unintentionally. No wonder he was upset. You knew that didn’t excuse his behavior, especially him grabbing you, but it at least gave you a place to start so that you could try to work things out with him.

“Thanks, Mammon. Don’t you dare let anyone ever make you feel like the stupid one, you got it? You’re a lifesaver.”

“Whatever,” Mammon replied, blushing. You couldn’t help but laugh. He really was a great best friend and you had never been more thankful that he was part of your life than right now.

————

“Levi? Hey, I’m home.”

You knocked on his door again, but still no response. You had been expecting that though. So taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you opened his door and let yourself inside.

What greeted you, was an absolute disaster. Figurines, plushies, books, and DVD cases were scattered everywhere. One of his computer monitors was even on the floor, cracked and ruined beyond repair. Your chest tightened as you surveyed the damage. What had happened after you left?

Careful of where you were walking, trying to avoid stepping on anything as best you could, you moved further inside the room to look for your Leviathan. When you found him, he was curled up in his tub, still in his demon form with his shirt removed. Seeing him like that made you gasp, and you had to fight back tears. He just looked so broken. His face was red from crying and stained with dried tears, his hair was a disheveled, tangled mess, and you saw what had appeared to be claw marks all over his chest, that by now were mostly healed but still appeared very fresh.

Without another thought, you slipped into the tub with him, spooning him from behind, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder. You knew you still needed to talk to him, but you had to make sure he was alright first before anything else. He wasn’t going to be able to listen to a thing you said if he was still as worked up as he had been. Levi continued to sleep, breathing steadily, and you knew he must have been exhausted. Pulling the blanket up to cover you both, you settled down, snuggled behind him and went to sleep.

————

As Levi started to wake up, the first thing he became aware of was the blanket covering his body. He didn’t remember covering himself up and wondered when he had managed to do that. But while he was pondering about the origins of the blanket, he started to become aware of the warmth that was pressing against his back, and the arm draped over his side.

His breath hitched, and he desperately fought the urge to immediately turn around. You couldn’t possibly be here. There was no way you could. After what he did...he choked back a sob as another flood of memories and anxieties washed over him.

“Levi, you okay?”

That was your voice. There was no mistaking it. It was so soft, and clear, and soothing. Cautiously, Levi rolled over so he was facing you.

“Hey babe,” you whispered, brushing the tangled mess that was his bangs out of his eyes so you could get a better look at him.

Levi couldn’t hold it back any longer, and broke down again, in a mixture of relief and regret now that you were right in front of him. His guilt still weighed heavily on him, but he was so incredibly happy that you were here.

As you watched Levi cry, you did the only thing you could and wrapped him up in a hug. You didn’t want to tell him everything was “alright” because it honestly wasn’t, so you decided on “I’m here” as you rubbed gentle circles on his back.

“I’m here, Levi. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shhhhh. We will talk later ok? Just calm down right now, alright? I’m here. We will talk later. I promise.”

Levi nodded, burying his face into your shoulder, careful not to stab you with his horns. He had tried to shift back to his human form when he first noticed you, but he was still too anxious and agitated to manage it.

It took a good hour for Levi to finally calm down enough to talk to you. At some point his tail had become entwined around your leg, but his hold was gentle. You could tell he was being cautious and you appreciated it and the intimate gesture.

After another moment of silence as Levi gathered his thoughts, he started to apologize:

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, “I shouldn’t….I shouldn’t have grabbed you….”

Levi struggled to get his words out. His throat burned and felt so raw. But he knew he needed to say this. He needed to tell you how he felt and that he knew it was all his fault. He knew you were going to leave after you finished talking, so he had to make sure he said all he had to say before that.

“Thank you for saying that,” you replied, kissing his forehead, “I mean it. I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

You could tell he had more to say, so you calmly waited, rubbing his back gently and resting your cheek against his head, reassuring him that you were still here and ready to listen.

“I saw you with my brothers yesterday and...I just...I got jealous,” his voice was scarcely above a whisper now, but he kept going, “And, I...I...I know that you have to be disgusted with me after that. I know that...who wouldn’t…”

“Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted with you?”

“Because. Because I was jealous. And that’s not good, right? Good boyfriends aren’t supposed to be jealous. If I’m jealous that means I don’t trust you, right? Or that I’m a loser...which I know I am...but still. I shouldn’t have been jealous…”

“Aw, Levi, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with jealousy. That’s normal. Everyone...”

“No! You don’t get it. I was really really really jealous,” he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes, desperate for you to understand just how despicable he was, “Really jealous. Like lock-you-up-and-never-let-you-go, yandere type of jealousy.”

“But you didn’t Levi; you did let me go.”

“It doesn’t matter! I still felt that way! I...I...I...still feel that way. Even now. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here. Forever. And I don’t care if it makes you hate me. I still….I still don’t want you to leave me.”

You listened carefully as Levi spoke, piecing together how he was feeling bit by bit. This sounded like it was more than just the incident at the tea house that had bothered him. It seemed like this is something he had been struggling with and battling all on his own, hiding it from you out of fear. The thought made you pull him close again, and he didn’t even attempt to resist you, he just melted in your arms.

There was so much you had to say to him now that you had a clearer picture of what he had been dealing with, that you scarcely knew where to begin.

“Ok Levi, I’m going to talk now alright? And I need you to listen. Don’t interrupt me. Just listen. Ok?”

He nodded against your chest, he knew what was coming. This was the part where you would tell him how awful he was and how you never wanted to see him again and how much more wonderful all his other brothers were and how you regretted ever…

“I love you, Levi. You’re...well you’re my favorite person. The first one I always think of. The first one I want to share good news with. The first one I want to see when I’m upset. It’s you. It’s all you.

I want you to tell me these things. Please. It’s ok to be jealous. I get jealous sometimes too. And well, I think because you tried to hide it and keep it to yourself...I think that’s what allowed it to fester. But if you had talked to me about it? If you had talked about it, we could have worked something out. Together.

I mean, we’re supposed to be a couple right? So aren’t we supposed to solve problems together? That’s all I want.”

“How am I supposed to tell you that I want to lock you in my room and never let you leave? How is that supposed to help? It’s not like you’re suddenly going to let me do it. All it would do is prove what a twisted pervert I am…”

“...I might.”

“Huh?!” Levi jerked back once more so that he could see your face. He had to be sure of what he was hearing. You...wanted…him to lock you up…? That can’t be right. There’s no way you’d sink to his level of depravity, even if you were only doing it to comfort him.

“I said, if you were to ask me, I might let you lock me up.”

Levi was now frozen in place. His brain was misfiring and he didn’t know if he should laugh, cry, or just be plain embarrassed. Why were you saying these things? Did you even understand what you were saying? You couldn’t just say something like that. Here he was trying to control his darker urges and you were...encouraging them.

“We could do it like any other kink. Come up with a safeword. Have a plan in place. Talk about what was allowed and what wasn’t. I don’t see any reason not to, honestly. And if it’ll make you feel better, and give you some sort of outlet for your anxiety, then all the more reason to.”

He really didn’t know how to process this. He had just revealed the darkest, ugliest parts of himself to you, and you weren’t even batting an eye. He had assumed you were going to take off running at some point during the conversation and never look back, but you were still here. You were still talking to him, still trying to understand him. And he just couldn’t believe it. How could you love him so much?

“Hey, I mean it, Levi,” you reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb, “This isn’t something I want you to keep to yourself. You should tell me these things. You HAVE to tell me these things. If it’s something simple I can fix, then I can fix it. And if it’s not, then we can come up with a way to reassure you, and help you work through those emotions. Just...trust me a little, please?”

He wasn’t sure when, but at some point he had started crying again. But these weren’t the sad, angry, bitter tears from before. No, these were tears of pure relief. You understood him. You accepted him. You weren’t disgusted by him. He couldn’t put into words how happy that made him right now, so he just nodded again and held your hand closer to his cheek.

“So now that we are on the same page...do you think you could tell me what it was you were so worried about yesterday?”

Levi didn’t even need to think about it now, of course he would tell you. He’d tell you everything. His demonic form was finally fading away, and he curled up as close as he could manage next to you, wanting to feel more of your warmth.

“I...umm...just...well…you looked like you were having a lot of fun with my brothers. And I well, I wondered if you had been having that much fun with me...because I didn’t really talk with you yesterday. I just sorta did my own thing while you watched…”

You were struggling not to laugh now. You really needed to keep it together because you didn’t want Levi to get the wrong idea, but it was a battle that was more difficult than you would have thought possible under the circumstances.

“I’m sorry Levi,” you gave him another kiss to his forehead before resting yours against his, closing your eyes, “I’m not laughing at you I swear. I’m just laughing at the situation I guess? I mean, I don’t know what you saw when you found me sitting with your brothers, but I can promise you I was not enjoying myself. Frankly I was beyond pissed. Mammon I understood you know, because he’s always tagging along...but for everyone else to show up? It infuriated me.

And as for you being excited and ignoring me...sweetheart, that’s why I took you there in the first place. I know how much you love that stuff. And you are just so incredibly cute when you’re in your element and enjoying yourself. So I took you there knowing full well what I was getting myself into. That was the entire point.”

Well, now he just felt foolish. Everything he had been worried about...the anxiety that had been eating at him for the past 24 hours...he could have avoided it all if he had just talked to you earlier. He hated how simple it was.

“Is there anything else?” you asked, checking in on Levi as he continued to come to terms with the fact your idea of a good time included watching him be the biggest dork he could.

“Oh yeah, I guess. I uh, I wasn’t trying to ignore you yesterday. After we got home I mean. It was just like...like I couldn’t even hear you. I mean I could hear you...I knew you were talking...but I didn’t know what you were saying.”

You had to smile at his confession just now, maybe he hadn’t realized it before, but that was far from the first time he had stopped being able to verbally respond to you. There were plenty of other times where he had been stressed, that he just opted for laying near you and zoning out while you played with his hair or you cuddled and watched a movie together.

“I know, Levi. I get it. I don’t know if you realize this but...that’s not the first time something like that has happened. And I didn’t think for a moment you were ignoring me on purpose, ok?”

Levi breathed another sigh of relief. You were amazing, so incredibly amazing. How did he manage to be this lucky? He knew there had been other times where he had struggled to respond to you, and he thought you hadn’t noticed because you never said anything to him. But it turns out you knew the whole time and had already decided to embrace that along with the rest of his quirks.

The two of you continued to lay there in comfortable silence, holding each other close. You were hoping against hope that you had gotten through to Levi, and that he knew how much he meant to you and how willing you were to work things out with him. Telling you everything, and laying it all out there couldn’t have been easy for him. He was self conscious enough as it is about normal things, you couldn’t imagine how much resolve it had to have taken for him to open up to you about this.

Now that the anxiety, tension, and fear had left Levi’s body completely, he found himself struggling to remain awake. He wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Sleep was a waste. If he slept, you really would have to go.

You could see how much of a fight he was putting up to remain awake. His eyelids kept drooping, and his head would occasionally bob, before he’d jerk himself awake once more. So cute, you thought.

“Hey, why don’t you get some rest? I’m gonna get started cleaning things up. But I promise I’ll still be here when you wake. I won’t go anywhere without telling you, ok?”

Levi nodded, he was so exhausted at this point, and your permission was all his body needed to stop its attempts at resistance. The last thing he remembered before he drifted off was the feeling of your lips on his cheek as you climbed out of the tub, and tucked him in.

————

Leaving Levi in the tub, you set to work tidying up his room. If you were being honest, you wished you could stay by his side and get some rest yourself, but you knew that this had to be taken care of first. You didn’t want Levi to see the damage he’d done to his room when he had been in his demon form, because you were sure he wasn’t even completely aware of what he had been doing. If he saw things as they were, you imagined it may only send him into another guilty spiral of anxiety, and you didn’t want to chance it. You would just have to explain things to him later.

As you worked, you couldn’t help but think of just how upset he had to have been. He loved his collections. He treasured them and went through great pains to preserve them so that they could always be enjoyed in perfect condition, as intended by their creators.

But seeing everything scattered about how it was only served to remind you of the depth of his self loathing. He had been doing so well as of late, that you nearly had forgotten just how dark his thoughts tend to turn. For every thing you loved about him, he had something he hated about himself.

And while he was proud in his declarations of love for his interests, he also was very much aware how people viewed him because of it. You wished you could get him to see himself as you did. Then maybe he could learn to have just a tiny bit more confidence, and just be slightly less anxious all the time. You didn’t want to change him - you just didn’t want to see him suffer.

Just as you placed the last figurine back in its rightful position, you felt your DDD vibrate in your pocket. It was Mammon, and he was checking in on you.

“Hey. Everything goin’ alright? He’s not refusin’ to let you leave, is he?”

You were about to type a reply, when another message came through soon after,

“If ya don’t answer me I’m comin’ over there and kickin’ his ass.”

He was looking out for you, and it warmed your heart. You had dumped a lot on him earlier, and he had been so supportive and understanding. It couldn’t have been easy for him, you knew, to let you go back and see Levi again after the things you had confided in him. Mammon was insanely protective of you. And you really couldn’t blame him, especially considering you had had a couple near death experiences at the hands of his brothers, Levi included.

“I’m fine. Levi is asleep.” You sent your message through quickly, before deciding to send along another with a new selfie attached as proof of your condition.

“Good. Stay that way. Dinner is soon.”

You smiled as you flicked the screen of your DDD off, and slipped it back into your pocket. Looking over the room once more, you felt a tiny bit proud at how well you had done restoring order.

You didn’t notice it, but Levi had woken up a little bit ago and had been watching you work. He was so grateful to you for cleaning things up, even if he was embarrassed that you had to have seen him like that. The fact that you managed to return everything to its rightful place was a testament to how much time you had spent with him, and how much attention you paid to things he was interested in, and it made him feel so incredibly loved.

His memories from most of the day were fuzzy, as they usually were whenever he lost control of himself like that. He was thankful he had managed to keep it together long enough for you to leave this morning too. He didn’t know what he would have done if he really had hurt you, instead of just taking out his anxiety on himself. The thought made him shiver, and as he pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, he realized his shirt was missing.

His cheeks flushed once he remembered that only a few hours ago you had been snuggled up close to him, and therefore had to have noticed. Even though it made no sense after everything else that had happened, the realization embarrassed him greatly. You may have already been intimate plenty of times before, but letting you see him naked outside of those times still felt awkward.

When he looked up again, he saw you smiling at him. You had been watching as he tried to cover his body with his blanket. The fact that he was blushing and embarrassed about his state of undress helped you relax. If he had the wherewithal to care about that, you knew he was going to be alright.

You walked over to him, and knelt by the edge of the tub, crossing your arms and resting them on its side. Levi looked away from you now that you were close, and you reached out to tuck some stray hairs behind his ear. It was a sweet gesture, but entirely unproductive given the state of the rest of his beautiful purplish, blue locks.

“Hey you. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Just a little tired, I guess.” He gave you a sheepish smile, “Umm, thank you. For cleaning up. I know it had to have been a hassle. Sorry you had to see things like that. But ummm...thanks.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it. That’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’d do the same for me right?”

Levi blushed again, and gave you a small nod. Of course he would do the same for you. How could you possibly think anything else? He might not be as eloquent as you, but he definitely would have done his absolute best to be there for you. He wouldn’t have abandoned you, that’s for sure.

“I uh...think I need to shower. Before dinner, you know.”

“Hmm, maybe I should join you,” you teased, a smile playing at your lips.

“Yeah, maybe you should.”

Now it was your turn to be embarrassed, and your face flushed crimson. You were used to being the one with the upper hand, and you weren’t sure how you felt about this sudden role reversal. But one thing was for sure - you certainly enjoyed that hungry, needy look in his eyes as he waited for your response.

[beelsnack]

Obey Me! Boys and an Insecure MC

Alternate Title: Coping mechanisms? In my demonic dating sim? It’s more likely than you think.

I honestly didn’t mean for this to be so long, but hey.

CW: Depression, self hatred, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Lucifer: It was subtle, but nothing escaped the notice of the Eldest. He saw them fidgeting with their tie before heading to class, watched the frown tug at their lips when all they managed to produce was a rumpled tangle of silk. Caught them poking ruefully at their acne scars in the reflection of their D.D.D. Heard the frustrated sigh as they tried to sit in a way that hid the meat on their abdomen. But, above all, he paid close attention to those comments.

“Wow, I can’t do anything right, can I?”

“You would have to be a professional makeup artist to fix this mess, haha!”

“It’s alright, you can say I’m ugly.”

That was it. Lucifer stood from his seat at his desk, an errant paper fluttering to the ground in his wake. The Firstborn made his way over to where they were sitting, working away diligently on their laptop. Their breath caught in their throat when they turned to face him, and Lucifer fought back a sadistic grin when he felt them shudder at the feeling of his gloved hand sliding beneath their chin. He would file that away for later.

“That’s quite enough.” his voice was low as he lifted their face. They averted their eyes, clearly uncomfortable, but he kept his hand where it was. “Self-deprecation is unbecoming on anyone, but I certainly will not have it marring that beautiful face of yours.”

Nothing escaped the notice of the Eldest. Especially not the shy smile they wore as they bade him goodnight.

Mammon: Call him an idiot all you like, but if there was one thing that a solid gambling career had taught Mammon, it was how to read a person’s tells. The way they stood with their arms folded and body turned inward said they were trying to hide. Their habit of avoiding mirrors told him they hated the way they looked. The twinge of resigned sadness on their face when they carefully deflected Asmo’s blatant flirting made it obvious that they thought they didn’t deserve it.

It must have been particularly bad one night. The two of them had made themselves comfortable on the bed in preparation for movie night, but instead of cuddling up next to him like they normally did, they sat far enough away that Mammon had to actually scoot forward to jab them in the shoulder.

“Hey, what gives, human? Why’re you all the way over there?”

“I’m just feeling a little warm.” they shrugged, pulling their knees to their chest. They were trying to pull some reverse psychology bullshit by purposefully staring him in the eye while they lied to him. Mammon snorted.

“You really think you’re going to fool me like that? You’ve got at least a millennia until you can even think of lying to The Great Mammon!” he opened his arms and his voice softened when he spoke. “Come here.”

They hesitated - eyes flicking back and forth between him and a knot in the branches that made up their bed frame, nervous - before they tucked themselves into his waiting arms.

He leaned his cheek against the top of their head, inhaling the sweet smell of their freshly-washed hair and internally purring (maybe externally, but you wouldn’t be able to get him to admit it) when he felt them snuggle in a little deeper and release a pent up sigh.

Mammon stayed silent, absently stroking the back of their neck. Words had probably done the damage, and they definitely weren’t going to fix it. He knew that from experience. But shielding his human from their own poisonous thoughts for a few moments was a good place to start.

Levi: Self-deprecating comments were one of Levi’s main forms of communication. It was a defense mechanism, a low-level shield someone would cast when the enemy was ridiculously OP but the game didn’t give you a retreat option. He knew this mechanic.

But when he heard them use it, it made him angry.

How could someone as amazing as them - smart, pretty, brave, loved gaming, made sure to feed Henry 2.0 when Levi was at a Sucre Frenzy concert - think they were anything less then perfect? No, more importantly, who hurt them so badly that they started thinking that way?

He felt like he did that one time Mammon had dropped one of his limited-edition Ruri-chan figures from a balcony. Someone damaged something precious to him, and he wanted blood.

Of course, that would involve talking about feelings and other mushy, normie stuff, and he just wasn’t ready for that. So, he did the only thing he could think of.

Leviachan: Hey, you down for a raid? There’s this new set of armor - it’s suuuuuuper rare, and you’re the only one good enough to get through the dungeon with me!! Pleeeeaaaassseee?

Satan: These little reading dates had started without him really noticing. One day, the human had came into the library seeking a quiet place to study and finish up their homework. Then, they came in with a human world book that Satan had never heard of tucked under their arm and were more than willing to talk about it. This lead to the two of them huddled on the sofa with their noses buried in the same book, and the human surprising Satan by being able to keep up with his reading speed. And here they were.

Satan had chosen a detective novel that he was positive they would like, and the both of them had taken advantage of a quiet Sunday morning to let themselves get absorbed into the story. Satan had his long arms wrapped around them holding the book, and they were leaning against his chest as they flipped the pages. An easy routine that the two of them had fallen into.

He felt them sigh heavily against him and he quirked an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I just...” they trailed off, gazing out the window at the dusty purple sky before snapping back to the present. “The love interest in this book is amazing. I’m a little jealous of them.”

“Jealous?” Satan echoed, looking down at the small frame curled up in his arms. “Why would you be jealous?”

“They were able to do so much with their life. They’re so young, yet they’ve got their life sorted out, they’re smart, beautiful, charismatic, and they’re confident in themselves despite all the shit people put them through...” they sighed again, and this time Satan heard the note of self-hatred on the exhale. “I can’t do anything like that.”

“Now where did you get that idea?” Satan said incredulously. “In the few months you’ve been here, you have excelled in every class you’ve taken, stood up against all of us in our true forms at least twice each, solved a murder, and convinced me to stop plotting to rip Lucifer’s throat out. All while adjusting to life in a world where most of the citizens could kill you by poking you a bit too hard. I would say that goes above and beyond ‘having your life sorted out.’“

The blush that bloomed across their face was so hot that Satan was able to feel it through his shirt, right next to his heart. He chuckled softly as he bent down to kiss their hair. 

“I could write for eons about how amazing you are and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

Asmo: Emotions fell right into his area of expertise, and even if they were immune to his charm, Asmo still could smell their emotions like a perfume. And their low self-confidence reeked like rotten fruit. A beautiful arrangement that had been abandoned and left to decay.

The Avatar of Lust was an inquisitive soul (Lucifer would call it being nosy, but whatever.) He was also a firm believer in the theory that you can tell everything you need to know about a person by their skincare routine. So that’s what led to him sneaking into their bathroom while Mammon had dragged them out on one of his stupid get-rich-quick schemes.

“Oh, I don’t think so!” Asmo cried in alarm as he picked up the bottle of human world acne treatment. “They might as well be washing their face with snake venom!”

With a scoff, Asmo kicked the waste basket out from beneath their counter and tossed the face wash in. Bottle after bottle followed it, and Asmo was just about to dump the last bottle of what he assumed was straight rubbing alcohol when he heard the door open.

“Asmo, what the fuck.”

“Darling, we need to have a very serious discussion about your choice in skincare products.” Asmo grimaced as he glanced at the label on the bottle before unceremoniously dropping it into the bottle graveyard. “Can you even pronounce some of these?”

Ah, there it was. The sickeningly sweet smell of self-hatred. Asmo fought the urge to recoil as they practically dove for the trash can.

“Asmo, come on, I have gross skin as it is, don’t take away the only things keeping me from looking like a slice of pizza.”

The sound of glass breaking echoed somewhere in the back of Asmo’s head. That rotten smell was rolling off of them in waves, but he fought off his aversion and knelt down next to them.

They nearly hit the ceiling when Asmo clasped their hands between his own. “Now, now, none of that.”

“None of what?”

Asmo giggled. “You know I wouldn’t bother associating myself with someone unsightly.” one of his hands moved to gently cup their jaw. “You poor thing, you’ve been ruining that lovely face of yours.”

“I didn’t think I could make it any worse.” they muttered, looking away as Asmo stroked a thumb over their cheekbone.

Asmo’s heart clenched, and he leaned forward to kiss them gently on the forehead. “Oh, I can’t stand hearing that kind of talk, especially coming from you. That settles it, then.” he stood with an air of finality.

“Settles what?” they tilt their head in a manner that reminded Asmo of a very adorable puppy.

“We’re going to get you some proper skincare products, and I’m going to spend the rest of the night making you feel like the divine beauty you actually are.”

It was only for a second, but Asmo swore that overpowering smell of rotten fruit was replaced with something just a little fresher.

Beelzebub: Normally, the Avatar of Gluttony wouldn’t complain about someone not eating. More for him. But he didn’t like the way the human was pushing food around their plate without actually eating any of it. They usually loved fried bat wing, too.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, keeping his voice low so his brothers wouldn’t butt in. “Aren’t you hungry?”

They laughed sheepishly, pushing their plate towards him. “Nah, not really. I was snacking all day. Here, you can have it.”

“But I just heard your stomach growl.”

Shame flashed across their face before they looked up at him with a grin that didn’t quite make it to their eyes. “I guess, haha. Just trying to watch my figure, you know?”

Before Beel could swallow down the mouthful of bat wing - when did he even pick it up? They had stood from the table and excused themselves, saying something about having a lot of homework.

It was a few hours before they got back to their room. What had started as them doing their homework in the living room had turned into Mammon begging them to help him study, which then somehow turned to Mammon challenging Satan to a pillow fight. Finally, they had decided to give up and do their homework in their room.

Something delicious wafted out of their room when they opened the door. The source was an overly full plate of food - with extra bat wing, they noticed - sitting on their desk. Blinking in confusion, they shut the door behind them and approached the plate. When they got closer, the note tucked underneath the plate came into view.

Please eat properly. I don’t want you to starve.

-Beel

Belphegor: He never would have called himself needy or touch-starved before. But after spending so long stuck in that attic room with his only interaction being with Lucifer, Belphegor couldn’t seem to get enough physical contact. Especially with the human.

He knew he didn’t deserve their affection, not with how he took advantage of them, manipulated them, murdered them. But the human had enough room in their heart to forgive him, and he would take any ounce of affection they were willing to give.

But it still stung when they flinched.

It was only for an instant, but Belphegor could feel the instinctual tightening of muscles when he draped himself over their shoulder. Feel them jump when he bumped shoulders with them in the hall. Feel their heartbeat speed up when he decided to use them as a body pillow.

“You know you can tell me no, right?” he murmured sleepily as the moment passed and the human settled down.

“Would you stop if I did?”

“Hm...” he hummed, cracking open one amethyst eye to peer at them. “If you don’t like me touching you, why do you let me do it?”

The human sighed, scooting down from their position against their headboard so they were face to face with Belphegor, who still had his hands around their waist like they were a giant teddy bear.

“It’s more like...I can’t believe you want to touch me.”

Now that woke Belphie up - well, as up as he could be while still doing his best impersonation of a koala. “What?”

They laughed, but it sounded strained. “Come on, Belphie, look at me. I’m all...jiggly.”

“So?”

Silence. They looked at him like they were trying to solve a puzzle, and he met their gaze like he was trying to figure out why they couldn’t figure it out.

“It’s not like it matters,” he shrugged, snuggling down into the soft blankets and holding the human a little bit tighter. “I like touching you because you’re you. You being soft and warm is a side benefit.”

“Belphie - “

He yawned, and they genuinely couldn’t tell if it was fake or not. “Shh, I’m going to sleep. You’re my pillow, so don’t talk. Especially if it’s negative stuff like that.”

Honestly, that was the best nap they’d had in a while.

[ilydenji]

❝kiss it better❞

↳kageyama doesn’t understand why you’re so insecure about your body. he tries to show you that despite your imperfections, you’re still beautiful in his eyes. 

characters: kageyama tobio

warnings/tw: mentions of self harm; nsfw implications; 

words: 1.9k 

a/n: i tried to be as vague as i could w the mentions of scars- just cause i don’t like talking about that stuff but </3 here we are ;;

the feeling of his soft lips nipping your skin was enough to drive you insane. his soft, gentle, almost hesitant touch that grazed your plush thighs made you feel butterflies in your stomach. the anxiety within you only raised tenfold when you felt kageyama's hands reach the hem of your shirt.

“tobio...” you breathed out, gently grabbing his wrist to momentarily stop him. kageyama pulled away to give you a concerned look. no matter how long you’ve been with him, the intense look in his eyes had always made you feel so small compared to him. shyly turning your head away from him, looking at anything but him.

“y/n... what’s wrong? did I go too far?” the concern woven in his tone made you feel bad for stopping him. you wanted to tell him what was on your mind. but you couldn’t exactly find the right words.

“tobio.. can we turn off the lights?” turning your attention back onto him, the look of pure confusion was blatant on his face. mentally kicking yourself for phrasing it like that, you slowly sat upon your shared bed. kageyama got the hint and backed up from you, letting you have your space. trying to find your next set of words, you played with your fingers nervously. kageyama reached over and brought your hand into his, he must’ve picked up on your nervousness. he rubbed his thumb lightly on the back of your hand and silently edged you go continue.

“I just.. don't want you to see me.” once these words left your mouth, all of his movements had paused for a while. you couldn’t help but think you were just wasting his time with your insecurities. but it wasn’t something you couldn’t help, you didn’t want to feel his lingering gaze all over your bare body. just thinking of what he would think of it made you feel uneasy. if anything, you were silently wishing he would just go along with it and not question it but of course, that wouldn’t be kageyama.

“why? I want to see you y/n... I can stop if you want me too” he shifted closer to you on the bed, making you want to shrink down into the sheets. the embarrassment you felt by just bringing it up, wishing you had kept it all to yourself and let him touch you. at this point, looking at him just made you feel bad. but you didn’t want to stop, no, you wanted him to keep going. you needed his touch. you were just scared of judgment honestly.

“it’s just that... I don't think I look good tobio.. you wouldn’t like how I look.” you tried to dance around the question as vague as you could. not once did you ever bring up what you had under your clothes. bringing it up in any context was nerve-wracking, you never knew how to properly bring up the topic. but, with the given situation, it seems perfect to do so now. the only problem is, you’re scared of what he’ll think.

kageyama didn't say anything for a while, he looked lost in thought, trying to come up with a response that didn’t sound insensitive in any way. instead of using his words, he brushed the hair from your forehead aside so he could lean in and kiss you on your forehead. the action took you by surprise a little, not expecting that from him.

“I don't get why you don't want me to see you through. do you not trust me?” kageyama's voice lowered to almost a whisper. his intentions were innocent, he didn’t mean for his words to come out the way that they did, but they just made you feel even worse. to even answer him, you needed to explain yourself. you never brought up this topic to anyone. although it’s been years since you had last done it, the evidence remains. overwhelmed with your inner conflict, you failed to realize the small tears that were collected in your eyes. kageyama noticed though. without a word, he leaned in to softly kiss you, cupping your cheeks so you had no choice but to look at him.

“y/n, I don’t understand whats going on. please tell me” his brows were knitted together in a mixture of confusion and worry. he thought he had done something to upset you, when in reality that was farther from the truth.

“tobio, I’m just scared of what you’ll think of me,” you muttered, opting to melt into his hands, seeing that there wasn’t much you could do. your hands reached up to hold onto his. kageyama could be a little dense most times, not picking up on social cues. he wasn’t sure about what to do or say, so he decided the best way to go about this was through silent physical affection. he pulled you into an embrace, his strong arms holding you lovingly. burying your face into his chest, he drew small circles on your lower back.

“y/n, you trust me right?” you heard his voice soften for you. he pulled away from you so he could get a better look at your face. you could only nod at his words.

“then please, let me show you what I think of you” kageyama simply stated. unsure of where this sudden demeanor came from your usually awkward boyfriend, you sat there a little confused. however, you didn't try to stop him when he gently laid you down back to the bed, slowly lifting your shirt. once removed, he started kissing you from your waist and slowly trailed up to your chest, between each kiss he’d mumble praises and soft ‘i love yous’. one hand on your hip, while the other intertwined with your free hand, he kissed each small scar that littered your body. he wanted to prove to you that even with the scars you’re just as beautiful in his eyes. 

the feeling inside you was one you couldn’t describe. you’ve never expected for him to take it so well, let alone wordlessly be so affectionate towards you. his touch was soft, gentle, and full of all the love he had for you. he didn’t say a word, he didn’t need to. with each kiss, a nonverbal “I love you” was said. it was all so overwhelming for you, you couldn’t help but let tears slip out your eyes. trying to keep quiet, you bit your lip in the hope that kageyama didn’t catch you crying. but the quiet sniffles didn’t go unheard. kageyama quickly took notice, and though he had done something wrong. he shifted on the bed to come closer to you. he then proceeded to kiss the tears that rolled down your cheeks, wrapping his hands around your waist pulling you closer to his body.

“it’s okay, I’m here”

ah,, i hope this is good? idk this has been sitting in my drafts for the longest- i kinda liked writing this?? maybe i’ll write something similar w/ other characters who knows idfk anyways thank you <3

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