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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago

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Lost one sibling, gained four more; Queen x teen reader pt.1

*Author's note*

Can this be true? Two updates in one day?! Well you better damn BELIEVE IT MY PEOPLE!!! I just got this request FINALLY done after working non-stop when I could and finally I had time to just sit down and finish it. So I'd love to thank the requestor for being SOOO patient. And yes this request is VERY long so this is just Part one, pt.2 will be posted immediately after this so just hang tight my darlings :)

So warnings include: INSANE FLUFF, cancerous sickness (leukemia), some angst (but not in the part but buckle up for pt.2), and the lovely and nasty Queenies :) Hope you all enjoy this fic as much as you've enjoyed the last one :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

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*Tokyo, Japan 1974*

Being here in Tokyo, Japan has been such a thrill. Even though the boys weren't overly popular like the Beatles or Elton John just yet back home in England, at least here in Japan they've greeted them like royalty. There were screaming fans everywhere to greet us at the airport holding up pictures, drawings and signs welcoming the guys to their home country.

The boys had a press conference earlier today and now we were in a special garden just behind the Tokyo tower for the tea ceremony. It was such a beautiful day for such a ceremony and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

As I looked at the boys I could tell they were extremely happy to be here. I looked down at my art book and went back to sketching the boys who were all sitting along the blanket holding their Japanese teacups. Making sure to get each detail of each of their features, and the last detail like the wind blowing their hair down just right.

Oh I should introduce myself; my names (y/n) (l/n). I had gotten a job being an assistant to the band's lawyer Jim Beach just before Queen began recording their 3rd album "Sheer Heart attack". Since joining the boys over a year ago when I was just 16 years old, they have become like a second family to me.

And it's exactly what I needed because—well I've been dealing with some hardships in my family as of late for the past few years now, so being with the guys has really helped brighten my day.

As I watched the boys play with their gifts given to them by the Japanese fans and giving them a recorded message, curtesy of the Japanese press that had joined us along with the ladies who help run the tea ceremonies for only the elite politicians of Japan.

God were they ever silly, Roger photobombing behind in almost every message, Deacy being a secret cheeky guy, Freddie interrupting Roger's greeting, and Brian stepping in when he felt like it during Fred's message. I continued my outline of the boys on the blanket with the Tokyo tower in the background, when I felt something touch behind my ear.

"A blossom for our blossom." I softly grinned and turned around to see Freddie and Deacy standing behind me. I lifted my hand to see just what he had done but he told me, "No, no darling don't touch it. Deacy darling, take a picture of us two."

I blushed and tried to bury my face into my hands.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no love not this time. You've been avoiding all pictures ever since we got here. I deserve at least one with you in it for myself." Deacy said as Freddie pulled me close onto his lap and leaned his head against mine.

"You guys are nuts, you know that?"

"But you love us dear." Freddie said as he gave my temple a quick peck.

"Yeah, guess I do."

"Alright you two look this way." Deacy said as he prepped his camera. We turned to face Deacy and I wrapped my arms around Fred's neck and his arms went around my waist as we leaned our heads against each other's. Deacy got in a few pictures and he said. "Beautiful."

"Tell me we can see the blossom in her hair Deacy."

"Yep, got a clear picture of that." I gently removed the twig from my hair to see a multiple line of cheery blossoms. I smiled and that's when Fred grabbed my art book.

"Working on some new sketches darling?"

"Yeah, Japan's definitely given me some beautiful inspiration. But most of it is still a work in process, so no lookies."

"Aww c'mon dear let me have a sneak peek, please? From one designer to another?"

"No not even if you were my professor Freddie."

"Oh you better hand over the sketch book (Y/n) darling, if you know it's good for you." He playfully threatened. I gripped my book tightly to my chest and that's when he said. "Fine, you leave me no choice. Roger!"

"Shit no!" I took off running and before I even knew it, Roger quickly swooped in and swung me around and he said.

"Might as well give up lovie, you know it's useless to get out of my grasp." He emphasized his point by nuzzling my head like a cat and peppering my face with slobbery kisses.

"Eww Rog! Cut it out!!" I tried to escape his grip but as always it was pointless to escape the arms of Roger Taylor. He kept peppering kisses all over my face, even poking me in the sides slightly tickling me till the grip on my notebook was just enough for it to fall.

Deacy caught it and handed it to Fred.

"Thank you my darlings."

"Deacy, Rog, you both are on the official hate list. I no longer like you two." I huffed.

"Aww, that hurts poppet, that really hurts." Deacy mocked using the puppy dog eyes on me that he knew I couldn't resist.

"After all we've been through (n/n) you'd just dump me like that?" Roger faked cried.

"You are such a drama queen Rog." He grinned and playfully ruffled my hair and that's when Freddie said.

"Ohh (y/n) darling. These are—there's not even a word that can describe what I'm looking at. The realism is uncanny down to the last detail. You even got Brian's hair right and not even I can do that."

"I'll admit, even though I'm no artist that these pictures look like a photograph being developed. You're truly talented (y/n)." Deacy praised me as he looked over Fred's shoulder. Brian soon came up and he said.

"I must admit Fred's right. Every hair detail for all of us is down to the straight detail. Do you—think I could get a signed copy of this?"

"Not if I take one first Brian." Roger spoke up.

"I swear darling, you should go to the university I went to; Ealing Art college. They'd be soo lucky to have you."

"Well.....I mean they're okay but I don't think they're worthy of that university." I muttered.

"Don't be so modest darling, I'll even give you a recommendation. As an alumni I can have the rights to help you get in." he decreed.

"Well I'll—I'll think about it Freddie. Right now I just want to get through secondary school and graduate from that." After that conversation, the five of us continued to have a fun time in the Japanese garden.

After the tour in Japan, I arrived back in London and as the guys were piling in the cab Roger said.

"C'mon love let's go."

"Actually I promised my mum that I'd wait here for her. She said she was gonna take me home."

"You sure?" asked Brian.

"Yeah, she might be waiting outside right now. You guys go on ahead I'll see you guys next week."

"Alright, thanks for coming with us love."

"Thank you guys for inviting me. I had a wonderful time."

"You always make our tours and trips more memorable (y/n) dear. Drive safe." He came up and kissed my cheeks and hugged me. I hugged each of my boys and they piled into the cab waving goodbye to me. I blew them a kiss goodbye and they took off in the cab.

About five minutes after they left, my mom's van pulled up. I smiled at her and picked up my luggage and headed towards the car. I placed them in the backseat and I hugged my mum.

"Did you have fun love?"

"Ohh Japan was so beautiful, I wish you and Kay could've been there to see it."

"I'm sure your sister would've loved to have gone with you."

"How—how has she been?"

"Well we—had a bit of a scare just the other week, but she's stable now."

"What? What happened to her?! Why didn't you call me?"

"I tried but each time I did no one was answering. Plus with the time difference and this internship I didn't want you distracted."

"Mum, if something happens to Kaylee, I deserve to know." She cupped the side of my face and said.

"You're right I'm sorry. Do you wish to see her?" I nodded and said.

"I still gotta give her that gift I promised her." My mum shifted the car into drive and drove us out of the airport to London hospital.

Once we arrived at the hospital, my mum checked us in and we headed towards my sister's room on the 5th floor. Now you remember me mentioning about the family turmoil right? Well it all has to do with my bestest friend in the whole wide world, my older sister Kaylee. See about 4 or 5 years ago we noticed how she'd always get high fevers and suddenly seemed to be losing weight.

At first I thought she was going anorexic but when she passed out and my mum and I saw the bruises forming on her arms, we immediately rushed her over here to the hospital where they diagnosed her with acute myeloid leukemia.

It devastated the whole family and it really began to take a toll on my mum and now we're hardly able to afford my sister's medical bills to pay for all the chemo she has to go through. That's why I got the job with Jim in the first place.

Any checks I get from him, go straight to my sister. Not my college fund. In fact I'm not even going to college, cause I want to continue to fund for my sister's health, and finally get her the cure she deserves.

When we got to her room, there she was lying on her bed, beanie on top of her head to cover her bald head. She turned over to me and smiled tiredly.

"Hey (y/n)." I smiled and rushed over to her and hugged her without hurting her. "How was Japan?"

"It was beautiful. Maybe once you're out and better we can take a trip there."

"I hope so."

"Oh hey, I got you what you've been asking for." I went into my bag and pulled out a poster of the Queen 2 poster that had all the guys' signatures on them. I had asked them while we were in Japan if they could sign this for me. Easily able to trick them, I told them to write it for Kay, telling them that it was a nickname of sorts.

"Oh my god." She squealed softly as she took the poster in her hands and looked at it. See she's the reason why I got into Queen. Since she's two years older than me, she first heard about the first Queen album and kept playing it on repeat.

Liking the music I was hearing, she gave me a brief education on Queen and ever since then, we've been fangirls of Queen ever since. They're music has really helped my sister a lot especially since her leukemia has seemed to be getting progressively worse in the past year.

"Thank you (y/n). You are so lucky that you get to work with them."

"Well it's mostly just doing stuff for their lawyer. I don't actually help make the songs."

"Still, you're living every girl's dream right now at the chance of even being close to them. Are they nice?"

"Oh Kay, nice doesn't even begin to describe them. They're so sweet and down to earth. Cheeky at times especially Roger and Freddie, but they are all so supportive and treat me like I'm a part of their little family."

"I'm glad they're treating you right." I then showed her some of the pictures that I had drew while I was there and some of the photos I took. "God (y/n). I envy you for your drawings. And the fact that you were in Japan. You know I always wanted to go there."

"Well—maybe when you get out, we can take a trip there." Unaware of my mum's solemn attitude, my sister smiled and said.

"Yeah. Maybe we can make it just the two of us squirt." She playfully shoved my head, our friendly little gesture of affection since we were kids.

"Hey I'm 2 years younger than you."

"Still a squirt compared to me." She teased.

After about a week of being back home, I went between my final few weeks of home schooling, the studio and the hospital. Right now I was sitting with my sister, the two of us having the boys' "Sheer Heart attack" album playing in the background as my sister and I were chatting away.

"Okay so FMK; Paul McCartney, David Bowie or Elton John." I asked my sister.

"Oh Goddamnit (n/n) why make me choose those three. I love all of them!" she whined.

"Cause I'm evil like that. No c'mon you made me have to kill Brian the last time so this is payback."

"Okay, okay. So.....ugh I hate you. Okay I would marry Elton, fuck Paul and I'm sorry David. God I hate you so much!"

"Haha!"

"Well don't let David hear you say that darling." Oh god it—it can't be. We suddenly looked up and there stood Brian, Freddie, Deacy and Roger.

"Oh my god what are—what are you guys doing here?"

"You left your journal at the studio last night. We called your mum to see if we could give it to you at the house but she told us you were at the hospital." Answered Deacy as he held up my art journal.

"At first we got worried that something bad had happened to you, but then she explained to us what was going on." Continued Roger.

"So you must be the real Kay." Freddie pointed towards my sister.

"Guys I'm—I'm sorry I tricked you, I just....."

"It's alright love. There's no need to explain. It's sweet you got something for your sister after all you've done for her. But we figured maybe a visit from the real band might make her day a bit better." Brian said with a soft smile.

"I—I....." Kaylee started as the boys all came in and sat around us.

"So Kaylee darling, which of our three albums is your favorite?" asked Freddie.

"Uhh well I—it's hard to pick but I guess your recent album Sheer Heart attack is probably my favorite."

"Do you have a favorite song from the album?" asked Brian.

"Oh god uhh—can't I say I love them all? It's so hard to pick a favorite song of yours."

"That's understandable." Replied Deacy.

For the rest of the time, my sister got to ask the guys so many questions about how their musical processes, how they choose which lyrics work the best, how the arrangement works when performing, how they all got together, everything she had been dying to know since she was a music nut.

And bless the boys they answered all her questions no matter how ridiculous or embarrassing they were. Soon a nurse came in to tell me that visiting hours were over.

I hugged my sister goodbye and even the guys gave her a hug and kiss goodbye, which made her heart meter skyrocket, especially when she got a kiss to the cheek from Deacy.

I walked out with the guys and we all piled into the car and I said to them.

"Thanks you guys."

"For what lovie?" asked Roger.

"For—being nice to my sister. You four.....have made her happier than my mum and I have seen her in years since she's had to go back and forth between home and the hospital."

"You're family to us (n/n). And if we could give a little bit more back to you, it's always worth it. We're honored that you let us in on this personal matter of your life. Thank you for letting us have your trust." Said Brian.

"Just—promise me that none of this gets leaked out."

"Don't be ridiculous dear. We wouldn't dare proclaim this secret of yours out to the public. Your sister's secret heath crisis is safe with us." Freddie said as he stroked down my hair. I smiled and thanked them once more.

One year later in 1975 I was with the boys, Mr. Reid, Paul Prenter and my boss Jim Beach. We were currently in Ray Foster's office waiting for Freddie to arrive for the meeting of the next hit album. I leaned my chin against my palm as I drummed against the armrest of the chair I was sitting in.

Finally Freddie walked in greeting us with a hello.

"You're late." Said Mr. Foster.

"Am I?" questioned Freddie.

"Saved you a seat." Paul said as he gestured at the chair I was sitting at. He then glared down at me ordering me to move. I sat up but then just before I could walk away to stand beside my boss, I was pulled onto the couch and saw that it was Roger who had pulled me in to sit on his lap. He winked at me and placed a quick peck on my forehead as Mr. Reid introduced my boss to Ray Foster.

"You must stop calling him that." Freddie said as he lit himself a cigarette.

"That's his name." said Mr. Reid.

"No we cannot keep calling him Jim Beach. No that's absurd not to mention unspeakably boring." He breathed in a quick drag before proclaiming. "Miami. From now on; I dub thee, Miami Beach." My boss chuckled then said a quick little teasing joke of Miami Beach.

Truthfully I liked it, hopefully I can have the honor of calling him that one day but for now I'll just settle on Mr. Beach as I have been referring him as.

"Right now that everyone's got an acceptable name let's get to it. Look; we just really need something special. More hits, like "Killer Queen", only bigger."

"It's not bloody widgets we're making. We can't just reproduce Killer Queen." Said Roger as Freddie sat up and walked towards Ray's record player taking out a record from his bag.

"No. We can do better." Said Freddie as he placed the record on the vinyl and turned it on. He lifted the needle and placed it at a specific point and soon coming out of the speakers was the famed song from Carmen. I grinned and as Freddie gracefully walked around moving his finger around to the tun, Mr. Foster bluntly stated.

"It's opera."

"Opera!" exclaimed Mr. Reid.

"Opera." Echoed Paul.

"Ahh there seems to be an echo in here." Deacy stated which made me choke out a laugh. As the song continued, when it got to the big crescendo part of the song, Freddie went all out waving his arm in tune before on the final note, slamming his hand down on Foster's desk. He almost couldn't contain his excitement as I chuckled softly.

Brian, Rog and Deacy were also in tune to the idea as they with less enthusiasm as Freddie but the same interest followed the next crescendo of the choir. Freddie turned the volume down as Brian said.

"See we don't want to repeat ourselves. The same formula over and over."

"Formulas are a complete and utter waste of time." Freddie stated bluntly.

"Formulas work. Let's stick with the formulas. I like formulas." Mr. Foster said.

"We'll call the album......A Night at the Opera." Hmm after a Marx brother's film. Sounds interesting.

"Are you aware that no one actually likes Opera."

"I like it." I said to myself, but I guess it was loud enough because Mr. Foster looked right at me through his shades and asked skeptically.

"Do you?"

"I do as well." I heard my boss say. I looked at him and he gave me a slight nod. God he was such a cool boss.

"No don't misunderstand darling, it's a rock and roll record. With the scale of opera. The pathos of Greek tragedy, the wit of Shakespeare, the—unbridled joy of musical theatre. It's a musical experience. Rather than just another record, something for everyone something—something that will make people feel belongs to them. We'll mix genres, we'll cross boundaries, we'll—we'll—we'll speak in bloody tongues if we want to."

"There-there's no musical ghetto that can contain us." Proclaimed Roger.

"That's it." Freddie pointed towards Roger.

"No one knows what Queen means because it doesn't mean one thing." Deacy pointed out.

All was quiet, man I have a feeling that this album was gonna be the one that would put Queen on the map of the entire world, that after this they were gonna change the name of music forever.

"What do you think John?" Foster asked Mr. Reid.

"I—agree with the band."

"Of course you do." He then turned towards me and asked, "How about you uhh—" I was shocked that he wanted my opinion. I looked to the guys and they gave me an encouraging nod.

"(Y/n). Well—fortune favors the bold, does it not?" I felt Roger pat my shoulder. Freddie then leaned against Foster's desk as he said.

"Surely a man of your—unique taste. Isn't afraid of a little risk?" Foster debated before finally saying.

"Please don't make me regret this."

"You're fun." Freddie pointed out with a grin.

After the meeting, Jim called me into his office and I said as I peeked into it.

"You wished to see me sir?"

"Yes c'mon in (y/n). Have a seat." I took a seat in front of his desk. "Alright (y/n), now it's come to my attention that since you and the boys have gotten so close with each other since you started working here, I feel it's best that since I can't go with them to Rockfield due to my legal matters here as their lawyer, that I'm electing you to go with them to keep an eye on them."

I was flabbergasted. Me? Go with them to Rockfield studios?

"M—Mr. Beach....."

"Miami." Wow he did he really just ask me to call him that. "Freddie's insisted that you refer to me as that from now on." Ahh that Freddie Mercury.

"Miami. I mean it's an honor but I—I don't think I can go away for that long. I mean....."

"Please (y/n). You know as well as I do that Paul has no good intentions when it comes to Queen." That I do. Ever since working with the boys, I've had a sickening feeling about Paul Prenter. There was just something about him that felt—slimy, ill, almost like a virus.

"Yeah."

"There's no other person I would trust more to go with the boys to the farm. Plus they all believe that you should go with them anyway so it's out of my hands either way."

"I'll think about it."

"Just make sure you tell them in two days' time when they leave for the recording." I nodded and stood up. "Oh wait, one more thing. Your paycheck." He then took out his checkbook and wrote down my pay for the 2 weeks. I thanked him but when I looked down, my eyes widened.

"Wait uhh—Miami. This....this is double the normal amount you pay me."

"I know."

"I agreed to be paid 500 pounds."

"It's come to my attention there's some financial struggle you're going through. The boys wouldn't explain it in full detail but they made me aware that you were in dire need of it. Plus I know they can be a lot to handle, so you deserve 1000 anyway." I looked down but couldn't help the small smile across my face.

"Thank you—Miami." He smiled and nodded at me and I left his office with my raised paycheck. As I walked across the hall, I saw the boys go from the snooping position to trying to act nonchalantly, like they weren't spying on me. "I know you four had something to do with this." I said raising my check.

"We have no idea what you're talking about (n/n)." said Brian as he looked over his six-pence coin that served as his guitar pick.

"So you're coming with us right?" asked Freddie.

"I—I'll get back to you on that. I—I need to talk to Kay about it."

"I'm sure she'll let you come with us. C'mon love just say you'll be coming with us." Roger said as he came up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Besides you'll be much better company than Prenter. I'll go mad if I have to see him every day while we're there." Said Deacy.

"Exactly Deacy!" agreed Roger.

So that night after work, I was in Kaylee's room and I told her about what I was going to do for the summer and she was psyched for me.

"I say you go!" she proclaimed.

"But what about you?" I asked. She reached over and took my hand and she said.

"You've been doing too much for me. You've always put me over yourself. And this is your last chance to be a free kid before you start thinking about college. So please for my sake go with them. If not I'll never let you live it down. Ever."

"Okay, okay. I'll give Fred a call tomorrow and tell him."

"Call him tonight."

"Fine. And you're sure you'll be fine."

"Yes. I've got mum to look after me. And I expect new drawings, pictures and lots of stories from you when you get back."

"I promise Kay, thanks girl." She smiled as I leaned forward and we hugged each other.

In two days, the guys picked me up right at 4am on the dot so that way we'd get there by sunrise to the farm. Deacy put my bags in the trunk while I hugged and kissed my mum and sis goodbye.

"Now be sure to be good for these boys (y/n)."

"I will mum. Promise me to keep me updated on everything?"

"You know me, I'll be calling you every night." I smiled and separated from my mum before finally standing before my sister.

"Don't do anything insane till I get back." I told her. She smiled and scoffed playfully.

"How can I? You're taking all the insanity with you." I grinned back at her and the two of us embraced each other. "Have fun tigress."

"Be strong lioness."

"Oh come on let's get a move on! Anymore wasted time here and we'll be late!" I heard Paul cry out.

"Piss off Prenter! Let her say goodbye to her family." Brian sneered.

"Go on, don't want you to get into trouble." Kay said as we separated. I waved bye to them one last time and I got into the car with Rog and Deacy and soon we drove off.

"Since it'll be a long drive and it's still pretty early, why don't you try and go back to sleep (y/n)?" suggested Deacy. I nodded and leaned my head back against the car, but Deacy offered his shoulder for me to sleep on. I took his offer and in his playful jealous tone, Roger spoke up.

"What about me?"

"You fidget around too much on long car rides." I moaned tiredly.

"Why you little—"

"Face it Rog, she loves me more than you do when it comes to sleeping buddies. Isn't that right love?"

"Yeah." I heard Rog huff but then he said.

"Well at least I provide the best blankets." He emphasized that point by draping his fur coat over my shoulders as a blanket.

"Won't deny that though. You both take such good care of me."

"Only the best for you love." I nuzzled into Deacy's shoulder and exhaled tiredly through my nose and began to fall back asleep.

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domitxnate · 4 years ago

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Let Her Go | Rynate | 09/20

Who: Nate Lynn, Rysan Fabray @ryansfabray

When: September 20

Notes: Heartbreak. Just, pure adulterated heartbreak on all sides.

Ryan

Ryan didn’t need the week. After her conversation with Jo and Noah, Ryan knew exactly where her mind was at. When she pushed her way into the apartment, her stomach flipped and her heart starting beating a mile a minute. She still couldn’t comprehend how much and how fast things have changed within a week. Perhaps she wasn’t as okay as she pretended to be and it was crazy how well she fooled everyone around her, including herself. She found Nate standing in the kitchen, staring into the fridge and she watched for a second before making herself known. She could see the stress she put him under and she hated herself for it. “Sir?” She asked as she leaned against the door frame leading into the kitchen.

Nate

He was still a mess, but when he looked up at the sound of the door, he did what he could to hide it. He shut the fridge and turned towards her. "Yes, Ryan?" he asked, the title off her lips like another dagger in his heart. He literally had no idea what was coming, but his body seemed to lean against the counter in an effort to prepare for the worst.

Ryan

Ryan snapped back. Who knew hearing her own name would hurt so much. It made her want to change her mind about everything. To put her collar back on and fall at his feet. But she knew that would only prolong the inevitable. Her hands were shaking and her heart racing. This was the lowest she’d felt in a long time. She hated that she was proving everyone right about her claim to Nate. She hated that she was the one who was causing all of this drama and turmoil. So before she lost her nerve, she took a deep breath and said the words she’d been dreading all day. “I‘m leaving.”

Nate

He had no idea how long he was holding his breath for, but hearing those words hit him like a cannon ball right in the gut. "You're...leaving," he repeated, mostly to keep himself grounded to the moment. He scoffed a few times, trying to keep himself as calm as possible. The fact was - he wasn't making her happy. And he wanted her happy. He was just going to let her walk away, but instead told her to wait and went into his room to grab her collar that he put back in it's box. He returned, setting it next to her. "It's yours. Sell it, throw it away, whatever ya want," he said with another sigh. "Look, I ain't gonna beg ya to stay," he began, "if ya ain't happy, ya ain't happy. And that's all I've ever wanted for ya, Ryan. Since we were 15. But...I need to know what I did. I need to know, what I did that made ya so unhappy."

Ryan

Ryan wasn’t sure what what Nate’s reaction was going to be, so she braced for the worst. When he merely mimicked her words she nodded to confirm. There was a moment where she thought that was it but when he came back with her collar, that’s what really crippled her. She looked at it but didn’t take it just yet. There was still so much for them to talk about. “You didn’t do anything,” she replied plainly. “I wanted submitting to be enough, I thought it was enough. I thought you were enough.” Those words sounded harsher than she intended so she followed them with an explanation. “You weren’t enough for me but that isn’t your fault. I’m just not fulfilled in my life currently. I don’t think I’ll be able to submit to anyone again, that was only for you. But I think I might be happier as a Domme.” She scoffed and laughed sarcastically. “I guess Russell was right about me after all.”

Nate

"So why now?" he asked, shaking his head, "It's been almost a year. And this really feels like 'all of a sudden.' I mean, is there someone else?" he asked, knowing that was blunt but also felt it was a fair question. When she said he wasn't enough - even with her caveat - it still made his eyes start to water. He wanted to point out she'd submitted to Mike on at least a couple occasions, but that wasn't worth the argument it would bring up. "First of all," he said as she finished, "He has never been right. And regardless of what's happenin' right now with y'all and me, that doesn't make him right. I just hope this all isn't comin' out cos he's gonna be here tomorrow."

Ryan

Ryan couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his question, as if any one person could be responsible for this, but she sighed and offered her explanation. “Because if I was able to pull that stunt I did last week. Disregarding all of the rules and intentionally disrespecting you, that means I don’t really respect you as my Dominant. Which means that this claim shouldn’t continue.” She bit at her bottom lip, eyes watering. “This has nothing to do with Russell. If anything, staying in a claim protects me from him. Which is why I’m going to ask you to let me be selfish for a little while longer.”

Nate

He knew that much was true - she didn't respect him. "Nah I guess not," he said simply, wiping his eyes. "But ya know what, since this is the end, there are some things I gotta say. Y'all humiliated me, Ryan. It was utterly humiliatin' to not know where ya were or who ya were with. Or to let someone take your phone and be a complete disrespectful ass. Y'all were collared and he just acted like I was the one bein' ridiculous. And since we're on that subject - I was always afraid of this. I told ya that I was, that I was afraid this isn't reallywhat y'all wanted and ya made me feel like I was being paranoid and like I didn't trust ya. Can't ya understand how that makes me feel right now? Given all ya know bout me?" he said, sighing again. "What do ya mean? Selfish how?"

Ryan

This was tearing Ryan up inside but she needed to keep herself together. There was no argument she could have given him to convince him of anything other than what he was feeling. “You’re right. Perhaps you just saw that clearer than I did because I really was sure that y’all were wrong about that.” She paused and dropped her head for a moment. “I’m sorry y’all were humiliated and that he disrespected you. But I can’t say I’m sorry for what I did. Cause then I wouldn’t have had this realization.” Her lip quivered and she avoided his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Ryan was starting to lose it, so she pinched the inside of her palm to keep herself grounded. She almost didn’t want to ask for her favor but knew if she didn’t there’d be hell to pay. “Selfish by asking you to hold off on announcing this until after parents week. By pretending that everything is fine until Russell leaves.”

Nate

At least she saw his side. But god, could she be anymore profession about this? Yeah, he knew Ryan well enough to know she was just trying to keep it together, but is still felt like she was just trying to get it over with. When she quit looking at him, he held in his own breath at the intensity of it all. He groaned at her request - was she seriously trying to kill him? "Look, we can wait to tell the heads and dissolve it - that's fine. Does that mean ya gonna stay here?" he asked, actually half hopin' she would say no. He wasn't sure he could live that kinda a lie, especially in front of his family while they were here.

RyanY

Ryan was startled when he groaned, the sudden movement causing her to blink and tears to fall. She wiped them away as quickly as she could. The fucked up part was that she knew he would agree to whatever she asked of him because that’s just who he was. “I know it would be easier for both of us if I didn’t, but we can’t act like anything is amiss. He’s got eyes everywhere.” She sighed and finally met his eyes. “I’ll stay in my room with the door closed when I’m here. And pack up my things while I’m here.” Ryan steppes forward ever so slightly, wanting to embrace him in some kind of way but thought against it. “I really am sorry that I hurt y’all,” she finally mustered through a broken sob.

Nate

Another sigh and his hand running over his face while he knew she was right. “Fine,” he agreed reluctantly, “but this week changes nothin. I can’t have ya toyin with me, Ryan. I can’t have ya standin here tellin me ya don’t want me anymore, then cos y’all are here for a week and around me and it’s easier that ya change ya mind. If this is what ya want - if ya want out, then ya take it now,” he said being as clear as he could. This week was gonna be hard enough without his emotions being toyed with. He soften a little at the sob from the girl who he’d cared for for so long. “I know ya are,” he said, “I promise, I know.”September 22, 2020

Ryan

"Thank you." There was no reason for Nate to be so generous with her, but she wasn't going to question it. It just meant that it kept her safe from Russell for at least another week. She knew as soon as he found out it would be hunting season again. "I know that I messed up, but I've never been wishy-washy," she snapped back. "I promise this is the decision I'm sticking with." She sighed, her features softening again. "I think I'm going to go back and stay with Jo tonight though, and I'll be back in the morning." She paused and looked back at him. "I'm sorry."

Nate

Nate's wet eyes grew slanted as he heard the girl's voice get harsh. "Y'all ain't really in the position to be barkin' at me, Ryan. You've put me in a crappy position so I'm allowed to have questions and concerns about what's happenin'," he pointed out bluntly. He wanted to mention she also promised to stay with him, but felt like getting into a blow out fight was not going to help the situation. "Alright, if ya say so," he said, basically giving up. He hated this feeling. Part of him felt like he should fight for her, but it was clear by her words and actions that she wasn't willing to fight as well. Which meant this wasn't going to go anywhere if both sides weren't ready to fight. "I know ya are," he said again, "But your sorrys don't mean a whole lot right now."

Ryan

There really wasn't much else to say. She couldn't fault Nate for being mad. It was just unfortunate that her apologies weren't being taken seriously, because she would never apologize to him again. "Yeah, alright." Then without another word, she turned on her heel and walked out of the apartment. She managed to keep it together long enough to get back to Jo's place, where she fell apart in her sister's arms.

#para #p ryan #let her go

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moody-cowdaddy · 5 years ago

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That's The Way It Is

Arthur Morgan x Reader | Oneshot/Drabble #2

Summary: Everything comes to an end sooner, or later.

Category/Trigger Warning: Emotional Turmoil, Angst, Drama, Character Death.

A/N: This is really just a blurb/drabble. It's not part of an actual story or the imagines. I just wanted to write an emotional turmoil/devastating piece of what I think Arthur's last words to the reader would be.

××××

"And for you,

For you, I would brave the wolves,

And for you,

For you, I would sacrifice my heart.

Starting with the most obvious part,

That sad enough place has gotten me through the dark,

Dying just to reach you,

As the horizon fades,

The sun begins to rise."

××××

Things had gonna from bad to worse. On top of the Saint Denis bank heist going to shit - Hosea and Lenny were killed, and that was one of the biggest losses the group had ever taken, loosing one half of the gang's voices of reason, especially. It shifted the whole feeling of the group. To top that off, you had been sick out of your mind with worry when Arthur and some of the others, including Dutch, had been stranded on some island for weeks called Guarma. It took all you could do to hold your sanity together, out of your mind with worry wondering where he was.

But, when they all finally returned, safely, it gave the group just the smallest amount of hope for the moment, that maybe this whole situation could be beaten.. That was until the Pinkertons showed up again, so, the last few weeks had been nothing but running and running and running. You were low on places to go now, and there was an ominous feeling that hung over everyone's head.

That ominous feeling manifested itself for you when Arthur became extremely sick weeks prior. You all had noticed for a while that he had a terrible cough that seemed to only persist day by day, but with the way you were all stuck living, it just seemed maybe he was under the weather due to circumstances. Once he finally went to a doctor, nothing about it was good news. He had contracted the white plague itself - Tuberculosis.

You didn't want to believe him when he told you what his diagnosis was.

"There's nothin' that can be done?!" You pleaded with him.

He shook his head, coughing, "N-no, darlin'. Doctor gave me a shot to keep me goin'. Said I needed rest," he laughed as he said it, amused by the statement.

You pressed your hands to his face, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as you sat on his cot beside him. "This can't happen. Not now, not like this."

He placed a hand on your knee. "Things is about to change, (Y/N)."

"Yeah, an' not for the goddamn better, Arthur," you rasped, "Ya can't leave me." You laid your head over onto his shouler, a sense of dread filling you so completely that you thought you might pass out.

"I don't want to, y'know that, but y'gotta prepare yerself for the worst now. I still gotta take care'a you an' the rest'a these folks. So, I need ya to listen to me now, sweetheart." He turned to you, gently grabbing your face with his hands. "Dutch ain't the same no more, an' if you, or anybody else stays with him, y'ain't gonna survive another year. We had a real chance of gettin' outta here.. An' like'a fool, I was too blinded to see that he never wanted to. All this talk'a dreams an' goin' off to live on some goddamn island was a bunch'a bullshit. Dutch don't want outta this way of life. He never did."

"Runaway. Drop everythin' an' runaway with me now, Arthur. Please," you begged him with everything you had in you.

He looked at you longingly, like he wanted to say yes. His eyes that were once so bright and lively, were now bloodshot and weak. He was pale, and losing weight almost daily as the sickness grew inside of him as that tell-tale rattling in his chest became louder and louder.

He shook his head. "I can't. Not now, (Y/N). I gotta help these people. I gotta try an' help as best I can while I still got time. I'ma bad man, but I ain't gonna just run off an' forget my responsibilities. I gotta do what I gotta do to keep y'all safe."

"Then come with me after. I want a life with you, Arthur. I wanna do things right, an' I wanna stop runnin' for my life every goddamn day. I just want you. I wanna have your children, an' I wanna grow old with you in a place we can call our own." The tears streamed down your cheeks now as you looked up at him, still begging.

He squeezed your face in his hands. "I want that. I do. I want that more than anythin', sugar.. But when the time comes, y'gotta run an' don't look back. That means whether I'm with you, or not."

"But, Arthur," you growled.

"Promise me," he breathed, blinking at you with tears seeping from the corner of his own eyes.

"Arthur," you sobbed again, squeezing his shoulders.

"Just promise me, darlin'," his voice cracked as he spoke, "Or else all of this'll be for nothin'."

You glared at him, knowing that there was no real way to convince him otherwise. Once Arthur made up his mind about something, that was that. All you could do was sit here and nod your head, and try to accept that he wanted to do the right thing. It made your heart ache even more to know that he truly was a good man. You bellowed, throwing yourself onto him, burying your head deep into his chest. You closed your eyes tightly, the tears staining his shirt as you prayed to God to wake you up from this nightmare.

All you could do now was hold onto him and salvage the time that you had left.

~A few weeks later~

'When the time comes, you gotta run an' don't look back,' Arthur's voice rang through your memory.

In the last 2 weeks, the gang had completely fallen into ruin. Half of the members that had grown to become like family to you were dead now, and the other half had up and left. Dutch had gone completely mad, putting all of his trust and reliance into Micah, who turned out to be just what everyone else could see that he was - a rat. He had been the one sifting information to the pinkertons about the gang and their whereabouts, all along.

You, Arthur and John were on the run for your lives now. The Pinkertons were hot on your trail as you raced through the mountains east of the Grizzlies, trying your best to outrun them, but that had become harder and harder to do. They had surrounded the area, and as much as you wanted to escape, to go on and to live happy lives.. It really didn't look like that was a possibility anymore. Dutch had led everyone on for so long, and this was now the price of that.

Arthur looked back as you scaled up the side of one of the small mountains, overlooking the ground below to make sure that the Pinkertons weren't right on your tail for the moment. You closed your eyes tightly, fearing for the worst as you were coming to terms with the fact that this wasn't a fairytale, and every action had a consequence one that all of you would pay dearly for. There wasn't bound to be a happy ending for this story.

Arthur bowed over, gasping and breathing hard as he tried his best to gain some energy to keep going. He coughed wildly, spitting out blood onto the gravel beneath his feet. He pulled himself back up, looking to the ground below before he turned his gaze to you, taking a step closer.

"Push it, Arthur!" John encouraged him.

Arthur shook his head, "No. I think I pushed all I can."

"We ain't got time for this now," John urged to him.

Arthur put his hand up, silencing John as he looked at you. "(Y/n), darlin'. We can't choose our fate."

He looked over his shoulder, checking once more. You could hear the rattling deep down in his chest as he struggled to breathe, and you could hear the sounds of men far off in the distance as they tore the woods apart, searching for you. Arthur turned back to you again, the devestated expression becoming more and more pronounced on his tired, sickly face.

"Mine was laid out for me a long time ago," he continued, "I lived this life, an' I gotta answer for it now. I never gave it up. Not for Mary, not for my own good, an' not even for my boy. But since I met ya, it's left me wantin' to go back in time, an' made me wanna be a better man than I was. Maybe I wouldn't've went down this path like this. I wish i'da got the chance to do things different, an' I wish I coulda done it with you.." he coughed roughly, his breathe ripping through his swollen lungs like knives.

He laid a hand across his mouth. His breathing becoming more labored as he struggled to speak.

Tears began to fall down your cheeks as you squeezed his hands tightly. "Don't you talk like that, you still can. We can get outta here. Me and you."

He smiled weakly, shaking his head at you. "We ain't both gonna make it, (Y/N)."

"Arthur. Don't you dare." You glared at him.

The tears welled up so heavily in your eyes that he was just a blurry figure in your line of sight now. He pulled his hat off his head and placed it on top yours, along with pulling his satchel off of his shoulders to put it around your shoulders. This gesture from him made you gasp for breath, doing your best to hold back your desperate sobs.

"what I can make right is making sure you get the hell outta here and live your life. You're good, (Y/N). Too damn good for me, an' I was a lucky man to have ya for even a second," he said sincerely, pulling you into him to give you a hug.

You grabbed onto him tightly, digging your nails into his back as you buried your face into his chest. He had become more and more frail over these last weeks, and you could feel just how much he really had now. The Tuberculosis diagnosis had took a heavy toll on him, and he was terribly underweight. You cried into his chest, trying your hardest to savor this moment with him, hoping against hope that he'd change his mind and come with you. You loved this man more than anything in the world. You could hear the faint beating of his heart in his chest, it was almost drowned out by the sound of the sickness in his lungs.

The sounds of the men in the distance were starting to close in on you now.

"Go," he whispered, his voice cracking as he pulled your head back to look down at you. He gestured his head to you and John. "I'll hold 'em off "

"Arthur," John snapped, trying to persuade him to come with the two of you.

"John, I'm countin' on you to get her an' yerself outta here." He said, giving John the stern directions.

"Arthur Morgan," You growled so roughly through gritted teeth that you could feel it send a sharp pain through your vocal cords.

"Go," Arthur commanded louder to the both of you. He pointed at john. "Get the hell outta here an' be a goddamn man."

You frantically grabbed for Arthur's jacket, but he pulled you back by yours arms, forcing you to let him go. He looked down at you with tears in his own eyes now. "You told me once that were all gonna die someday, an' darlin', I'm sad to say that day is here for me. Even if I came with ya, I'd have a few weeks, maybe. Please, go an' live y'life for me. There'll be time for sorrow later, y'gonna be alright, girl."

"I can't lose you. You were it for me," you cried.

"An' you was for me, (Y/N). But they'd never stop chasin' us now, even if I wasn't already on my deathbed with this goddamn sickness. They want me an' Dutch dead. I love you, darlin'. More than anythin'."

"Let me stay," you pleaded, "John can escape. Let me stay here with you. Better I go out in a hail of bullets than to be without you."

He quickly shook his head at you. "You an' I both know I ain't gone let y'do that."

You gasped for your own breathe, the devastation was caving in on you quickly now. You had exhausted all of your options, none of them which he would let you go along with.

"I love you, girl. Just remember that," he said.

"I- I l-love you t-too," you stammered, crying so hard now that you could barely speak.

"You're my brother," John called out from behind you.

"I know." Arthur nodded, pulling away from you.

You still tried your best to hang onto him, in a last ditch effort to convince him, but John finally grabbed your arm, pulling you away, because you had no time left now. You tried to push him off, fighting and clawing at him as you screamed for Arthur, but he held you so tightly that all you could do was watch on in horror and complete despair as your whole world crumbled down in front of you as you saw the man you loved dying, trying to give you a better chance at life by sacrificing his own, but it was one that you couldn't imagine without him.

You dropped you your knees as you watched him go, with John's arms still wrapped around you to keep you in place. He pulled you up with all of his strength, throwing you onto his shoulder as he turned the opposite way to escape.

Arthur looked back at the both of you once more, exchanging a nod of goodbye before he turned and made his way back down the mountain towards the Pinkertons, his revolver in hand.

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan imagine #arthur morgan x reader #rdr2 fandom #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 imagine #red dead redemption 2 imagine #roger clark #rdr2 x reader #arthur morgan fanfic #arthur morgan x you #red dead redemption x reader #rdr2

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thefudge · 5 years ago

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thoughts on elite season 2

- idk why but i found this season more engaging than the first which i only watched fragments of because i couldn’t be arsed to care about certain plotlines, but season 2 made me care about almost everyone? well, almost. but it was far more compelling anyway.

-lucrecia/lu is turning out to be a Problematic Fave. she’s probably one of the more complex characters on the show. despite how wretched she can be, i like how deeply she wants to be “seen” and understood and i def felt bad for her about guzman (oh, and we’ll get to him, ugh). her back and forth with valerio was both compelling and a little frustrating (valerio himself was both compelling and frustrating). i don’t think the writers put that much thought into it, but i liked the undercurrent of sadness in their bond which was far more interesting than the forbidden aspect (but yea ok, that was also hot, yall know me lol). the actors sold it pretty well. and that oscar wilde quote <3 incidentally, valerio reminds me of a romanian actor/singer who also starred in an incest-based drama awhile back. but i have to say, one thing that really jumped out at me is how much of a secret gay lucrecia is. she has so much gay energy with almost every girl she comes up against, rebeca and nadia especially, it’s insane. every time she interacts with one of the dudes it’s so weak (except with valerio, but that dynamic is not so straightforward). whenever i see her sexy-whispering to some guy it feels like she’s faking it, like she’s being a vindictive but ultimately domesticated doll. and i think she knows this too and the performance wears her down. whereas she seems to come alive with women. her obsession with being betrayed and ignored and unloved by men might also stem from the fact that no man can ever give her what she truly wants. she’s def closeted imo, and her lil friendship with omar makes so much sense in that context too. petition to give lu a gilfriend in season 3, preferably rebeca.

- rebeca, however, is the true MVP of the season for me. omg. i love!!! her!!! so!!! much!!! i was SO MAD everyone slept on this grl!!! she’s funny and smart and brash and loyal and sweet and justasdfgdfsda NO ONE DESERVES HER. i also think her chemistry with lu should be explored further. (i wanna write fic where rebeca and lu make out at the halloween party after lu gets dumped)

- polo is also a Problematic Fave, even though i hope he goes down lol. i really like how the actor plays him as both volatile and fragile, like a stubborn asshole but also a sniveling brat who wants to be “redeemed” on his own terms.

- i can’t say i cared all that much about cayetana and her “maria del bario” subplot, i mean i didn’t feel all that sorry for her, but i do like the sharp edges given to her character. and while polo/cayetana is not that interesting to me, their bonnie and clyde shenanigans promise to be a lot of fun. it makes a lot of sense that she would be the one to help him, not only because of his kindness to her, but primarily because she likes taking things. literally. she seems desperately hungry for whatever polo can offer.

- omar/ander was sweet as always, and i liked their ups and downs and their more emotional moments, but good god was ander a petty asshole. when omar dressed up as dr. frank-n-furter and ander was being a tool about it and the others were shaming him for, u know, having a cool costume for halloween, i was like “omar, bby, you gotta stop hanging out with uncultured swine”. that being said, ander keeping polo’s secret for so long beggared belief. i understand the impossible scenario he was in and i like that they showed the inner turmoil but...yikes, it’s murder, dude.

- samuel/carla was...fine. i liked some of their more intense scenes, feeding off each other’s anger, plus the manipulations and the mindfuckery, but it was still lacking in substance for me. i also think carla becomes less interesting around him, whereas samuel has sort of grown up this season. idk, i’m ambivalent.

and finally...

- nadia & guzman. SIGHHHHhhhhhhhhh. the couple & characters i was most looking forward to ended up being the most disappointing part of this season for me. i kind of hate them now. okay, maybe not hate them, but i am deeply annoyed. i think nadia was poorly written this season. i have no clue who this girl is, what she really wants, what she believes in. she was made to react in a certain way or do things just to carry the plot forward or to give the viewers some steamy scenes. literally, i was so frustrated with her and the lack of internal logic. even her confession to her parents at the end and their heartfelt hug felt hollow and unearned. and guzman, oh gaaaawwwwd, this douchebag and his constant edgy angst, i get iiiiiit, we get iiiiit, i just wanted him to be dooone. i really disliked him, even when they were framing him as troubled romantic hero. the nadia/guzman scenes were absolutely rushed, i’m sorry. their first kiss??? while nadia was super drunk and we get that weird disco editing that hides both their faces and it’s so fake-artsy and devoid of feeling and underwhelming??? NOPE. i thought this would be a big deal for nadia, for both of them actually, but when i saw how quickly they rushed into it i was disappointed. most of their interactions lacked that special intimacy they had in season 1. like yeah, the chemistry was there, but the angst felt manufactured, cuz i guess both he and nadia have no problem cheating and doing whatever the hell they want. i also found it laughable that not even 15 minutes into the first episode guzman immediately tells her about the deal he made with her father...which cheapened the whole thing. i really thought that deal would carry weight and mean something....welp, guess not. all the interesting and significant obstacles they built around these characters were now revealed as a deck of playing cards. when halfway thru the season guzman lamented how he couldn’t be with nadia due to societal constraints i laughed out loud because clearly, that’s a surface problem for them. nadia does not seem at all attached to her faith and culture, so really, what’s to stop them from being together? her family? i don’t buy it. and my problem isn’t that nadia wants to break away from her muslim heritage and be with guzman; my problem is that we don’t know what the hell she wants and it doesn’t seem to matter. once upon a time i thought she cared a lot about her schoolwork and future career...but that seems to take a backseat for the guzman drama. halfway thru the season she doesn’t hang out with rebeca and omar anymore, and it’s just...disheartening to see her be all about this really mediocre dude. not even her budding friendship with valerio goes anywhere, which was a shame. others have talked about the troubling narrative of “westernizing” nadia and portraying it as the solution to her problems and while i think the show isn’t ready to push that agenda, i also feel like they have no fucking clue who this character is. anyway, i will stop here, but i’m genuinely disappointed and idk if this can be remedied in season 3.

so overall, i enjoyed this season more, but boyyy did it disappoint where i was most expectant

#elite s2 #elite netflix #my thoughts #elite spoilers #i have good news and bad news lol

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dailyaudiobible · 5 years ago

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02/12/2020 DAB Transcript

Exodus 34:1-35:9, Matthew 27:15-31, Psalms 33:12-22, Proverbs 9:1-6

Today is the 12th day of February, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you as we move through the center of the week and toward the back half. And we will continue in the book of Exodus today with the drama that is taking place in the desert - God giving the laws, people building golden calves and worshiping them and claiming they were there Redeemer, broken covenants, all kinds of stuff happening as we watch the turmoil of something new being created. And that something new is the culture surrounding God's chosen people. So, today Exodus chapter 34 verse 1 through 35 verse 9.

Commentary:

Okay. We have a really interesting contrast between old and new Testaments today that will help us understand the Bible, the story that we’re telling here, but will also help us look at our own lives and understand some things. So, Moses has been a top Mount Sinai he's come back down with some newly freshly hewn tablets of stone with the covenant upon them and when the people see Moses his face is glowing, it’s radiant. He's been in God's presence and his face is radiant. So, the people are kind of freaked out about that and he puts a veil over his face because of this radiance. This veil, this particular one in this particular story is a really important piece for the apostle Paul. He talks about it and essentially his conclusion is that God gave a perfect law that subsequently was read through a veil, which is how the people much later in the New Testament times could miss that God incarnate, was among us and miss it to the point of killing him. So, let's pause here for second. We’re reading through the book of Exodus, lots of rules and regulations and stipulations and instructions. All this kinda stuff is going on. And, so, we can read some of these instructions ago, like “I don't like. I don't even…how do you…I don’t even know how I can obey that command. It's such a strange thing.” And that's us kind of reading our modern culture into an ancient text. These people all understood what was going on. But what we often miss and what the apostle Paul claimed that the Hebrew people were missing, this veil, is that underneath the rules, underneath the law, is the spirit of the law - a reason that the stipulation should exist and that way for that stipulation to point back to why it exists, right? So, that’s sort of confusing but let's just take a stop sign because this applies today. The spirit of the law of a stop sign is that if you indiscriminately drive through intersections you will one day kill somebody or yourself. If everybody just knew and paid attention to that then we would always slow down and we wouldn't need the law or the sign. But since we drive all kinds of places that we don't necessarily know or understand we know that a stop sign is informing us for our own safety and everyone else's safety to stop. If you forgot that or if you forgot the reason or if you were never told the reason, then you would question the rule and maybe ignore the stop sign to your own peril. What God is doing in the book of Exodus as He begins to lay out these instructions and organize his people in a certain way is to initiate in every rule and regulation something that points back to who they are and who He is. It's being woven into the culture so that all that they do is centered around being the chosen people of God, a nation of priests to minister to the world to show all of the nations who have given themselves to the lesser lower false gods who the most high is. And, so, all of the things that they're being instructed to do is baking this into their culture so that they are constantly reminded. Okay. So, that's this spirit of the thing. But if we ignore the spirit…the reason for these things and just look at these rules, yeah, we can look at them and go, “what…like what…what a strange rule for an ancient people”, but we can see that over time they lose this plot and it becomes about focusing upon and deciphering and dissecting exactly how to obey these rules. This is the veil that Paul’s talking about - the letter of the law, obey the rules, find the perfect way to obey the rules as opposed to the spirit of the law, why these rules exist and what their purpose is, because their purpose is to order life in such a way that everything reminds us of who we are because the world will take that away from us. And these rules are here to show us who God is because there are many competitors.

Okay. Now we zoom forward into the book of Matthew today and what do we see besides Jesus on trial, instigated by the religious leaders, the keepers of the law. And, indeed, Paul's analogy would be right. They were veiled, they were worshiping the law. They were worshiping the rules and the power that came from that and missing that God was before them in person. Okay. So, you can go, “that's pretty cool. That…like…that’s…that's an understanding that connects some dots. That's helpful. What does that actually mean for like my life though besides just a…like an understanding?” I mean when you think about your faith, certainly yes, more of God's presence and…and a deeper…deeper relationship. But how is it that we often think that that could be achieved? Don't we look for the rules to follow? Don’t we look for somebody who…who appears to know what they're talking about to tell us what we’re supposed to do to get God on our side? And then often we’ll get into communities like that and we’ll find that there's differing opinions about different ways of obeying these rules. And, so, we get doctrine wars because it would be much too scary if we have something wrong. We’ve gotta defend what we think we've got right when underneath it all, no matter what rules we’re trying to obey, when underneath it all, there's the spirit of why they exist. And they exist to remind us who we are and to who the most-high God is. When we lose the plot here then we’ll go to battle with one another over the rules and then we’ll start resembling Pharisees and Sadducees. And we can get so enmeshed in this that all we’re focusing on is everybody else's sin and wrong and maybe missing that God is standing right in front of us, or maybe even worse, criticizing what God is doing in somebody else's life because it doesn't measure up, or fall in line with our own lives. It’s a pretty start picture we’re looking at in Matthew today. Jesus, God incarnate, stripped, wrapped in a purple robe and beaten senseless. If humanity can do that to God then, yeah, there's a veil. We’re not seeing clearly. And isn’t that what Jesus kept saying throughout the book of Matthew, “I’m looking for those with eyes to see.” And what our eyes are seeing in the book of Matthew is humanity doing the lowest, lowest, basest animal thing we will ever see described in the Bible, an attempt to kill God. So, we need to practice grace and mercy toward each other to love each other as ourselves to begin to remove this veil. We need to understand that the rules that God would give us are there to lead us to Him and they flow from wisdom. They are wise. But it's not about the rule, it's about the reason for it. The reason is to bring us and remind us in everything in every way who we are and who God is because if you hadn't noticed it gets confusing in the world. These rules are not because God needs control of your or anyone else's life. God is most high. He is all powerful. Everything flows from Him. He doesn't need control, He has control. And often the rules or the disciplines of our lives are intended to show us that, that we aren't in control. That's an illusion. The religious leaders of Jesus time were a little freaked out that Jesus could get too much momentum and upset this tenuous power share that was going on between Rome and the Hebrew people. They didn't surrender to God. They crucified him. And the sad thing is you can read it and go like, “I would never do that”, but we are all capable, especially when we lose the plot.

Prayer:

Father we’re trying our…our very, very best to stay focused in here and really, really receive from You the instructions that Your word gives us because we need that. It's murky to live in the world but try to not be of it. It's complicated as You well know. And we confess we lose the plot every day. We forget who we are and who You are all of the time. It can happen many times in a day because so often we’re just reacting, we’re just reacting to whatever comes our way, as opposed to this deep sense of abiding wisdom and the guidance of Your Holy Spirit, which helps us to not be reactive. Come Holy Spirit. May we see the voice of wisdom crying out from every corner of the globe at every intersection. May the veil be removed from our eyes so that we might see clearly Your kingdom in this world and our place in it. And we ask this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and it is ,home and it is where you find out what's going on around here, what's burning around the Global Campfire at any given time. So, yeah, stay tuned and stay connected there.

What is immediately going on around here is that the tomorrow is departure day. Tomorrow we will get on the big plane and start flying across oceans making our way into the land of the Bible where we will be meeting for the first time as…as the group in a few days in Ashdod by the sea in ancient Philistine, a fortress city by the Mediterranean Sea that's now a modern city in Israel. And that's where it all begins for the pilgrimage. And, so, as I’ve been saying for a couple of days, we’re raising the canopy a prayer over this and we’re not gonna. I mean, I’m doing the asking and I'm asking you to pray for us. We’re gonna be praying for us too and we’re gonna be praying for you too because that's just part of the rhythm of…this community is a community of prayer and man, we do that…we do that well. We do that well. And, so, I'm asking to raise a canopy a prayer over everything about this that has to happen to pull off an adventure like the one we’re gonna be on. So, we want to pray specifically for travel, vehicles, stamina, health, jetlag, technology, patience, long-suffering, everything that we would need to go across the world and travel together as a family for a couple weeks. That's what we’ll need. So, thank you for your prayers over that.

I've mentioned several days this is a virtual community and this is…even though we will physically be there in the land of the Bible and many of us will be there physically, we’re taking you along. I don't go anywhere without the Daily Audio Bible. It’s like attached to…to my life. So, we go everywhere together and that helps me, especially when I have to travel alone to not be lonely, but we’re going together. And, so, if you haven't…if you’re not following say for example the Daily Audio Bible Facebook page or Instagram, this is a good time to do that, you can find all of the links in the Community section at dailyaudiobible.com because we’re gonna posting things and posting pictures and videos and stuff as they happen. And, of course, I'll be sharing what we’re doing each day on the Daily Audio Bible. You can be there as it's happening to just see the different places that we’re talking about as we move through the Bible. And then next Saturday, it's the…it’s the 22nd of February we’ll be doing a live broadcast from the Sea of Galilee. Kinda gets us near the halfway point of the trip and we just debrief, we get together, but turn the cameras on for about an hour and…and just…and go live. And it just allows us interaction. The time difference is weird because we’ll be doing that at night and back in the United States it will be…it will be daytime. So, for example, we’ll be doing our live broadcast at 7:30 PM on the 22nd but back in Nashville here where I live, that’ll be 12:30 PM. So, just like lunchtime or that would be like 1:30 on the East Coast and 10:30 AM on the West Coast of the United States. And I don't have a time difference calendar in front of me right now, but all you have to do is just kinda Google the difference between where you are and Tel Aviv, Israel and find the hour difference and then you can kinda work it from there and that's when we'll be going live. So, make plans for that.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link and it's on the homepage and I thank you profoundly for your partnership. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer…prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I am Brian I got a lot of packing to do so I’m gonna go do that. I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi my name is Rodney and I was listening to the podcast and I think it was the 29th, I’m a little behind, but there was a young lady who had been dating someone for a while and they broke up and she just can’t seem to…to experience freedom from that relationship. And from someone who was in many relationships and hung onto them out of fear or out of loneliness when I should’ve been hanging on to God and realizing that He has my best in mind or connecting and fellowshipping with other believers, that cost me significantly, significantly and a lot of other people as well. So, I would encourage and just pray that you experience freedom if that’s what God wants you…I guess you never know if you will end up with this person but for right now it’s…if he’s with somebody else I just pray that you will experience freedom and joy and use this time for the good that God has for you, working on yourself, enjoying life, growing closer to Him, enjoying time with other believers. God loves you. God loves you and we love you and just pray for you that you will have joy in your heart. Amen.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family my name is Vera and I’m new this is my first year I started in January due to Diana Davis, my sweet sister. I just wanted to let you know because I know all the prayers that have gone up for her and her family, her dear sons Michael and her…her dear son Elijah, but she has gone home, has gone home to be with our Lord Jesus. She’s totally healed now. Praise God and there will be a celebration for her life there because she’s impacted so many people. I just felt like you all needed to know because you have all prayed for her so much and the family and I know you all love her so much. She is a dear, dear friend and a dear, dear sister for all of us and she loved you all so much but like I said, she’s gone home to be with our Lord. And I thank and praise Him all that He’s done in her life and worked around her during this time. It was very hard, and I just thank you all for your prayers for her and I know Michael will probably let you…talk with you when you can. We love you all and…and thank you for your prayers and God be with you. Thank you, Brian and Jill for all you do because it really impacts so many people’s lives.

Good morning DAB family it’s Thursday, January the 7th. Today I want to pray for those who are trapped in religion that is not a knowledge of the heart of God. And my prayer is for freedom within the…within the framework that God has provided through His word. So, here goes. Heavenly Father my prayer today is for all of those who have been brought up in religious institutions where service to a ritual is followed as the way to your heart. Father, we know in Your word that You have set forth boundaries, guidelines, rules even for our own benefit, for our own protection out of Your love, but Father that is not the way to Your heart. So, help us to love You passionately and freely and with all of our heart soul, mind, and strength. Bring us together Father and help us to love you as little children should love a father and I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family this is Becky in Orlando. I would like to brag about my Lord Jesus Christ this morning. 11 years ago, I want to share the story with you for all those that are new listeners and perhaps those that have not heard my story. 11 years ago, I became a Christian. I was raised an atheist and I married somebody who was a believer. We were unequally yoked and he used to give me stories about Jesus and I would fall asleep to every one of the stories but I…we went to church and I enjoyed listening to the music and I liked watching the sign language interpreter because I had a background in sign language. And…and then I started thinking during of his church services about how…and afterward…how maybe that…maybe God caused the Big Bang and I started thinking about all this. I had been also told at 35 years old that I needed my…my baseline mammogram and I put it off I procrastinated and during that year while I was procrastinating and thinking about the big bang theory at all that good stuff I had a tumor that popped out of my hand then I needed to get my gallbladder out and then when I finally went in for my baseline mammogram at 36, guess what? They tell me that I had breast cancer. And I was so scared and I was all by myself with my husband in a state in Florida that I didn’t have any family in. And, so the morning before my surgery I asked at church, I asked my husband can we please go down and pray with the pastors, I’m really scared. And I’m going to tear up right now because I’m so thankful. I went down with the pastors, they put their hands on me. In my head I was praying to God and I thought, “oh my gosh. I said I’m so sorry if I…if you’re there and You are there and I haven’t believed in you all these years and I…

Dear DAB family calling from Europe wishing you a blessed 2020. I’ve just finished reading and listening to Brian’s wonderful words from seventh February. Brian you spoke about acquiring wisdom better than promotion. And you know what, this is where I am now. I had my year’s review with my boss who was asking me about promotion and moving along and the words I could only think of that came out of my words were “I need to train myself in God’s words and deeds.” I need to do a part-time schooling in that area. I’m not ready for a promotion. Also, I’ve been thinking __ what’s foolish in me __. Brian, that’s exactly what I had in my mind since January. Thank you very much and God bless you and family. I pray for Diana Davis and her boys. Thanking William for giving us news of his mother. Although it doesn’t look good, the Lord is asking us to continue praying and we’ll not cease. Harold, you’re my running buddy in Christ. I do very long runs twice a week and early in the morning around 530 you’ve been trying be it cold, snow, or rain. And you know what? I concentrate the first 5K of my running to God, listening to DAB and praying. I’m so elated afterwards that I do not see the time pass and finish my runs with praises to our God. I will put you in my prayers. God bless you all. Amen.

Hi Daily Audio Bible friends this is Leslie from Washington state and I’m calling today with a confession and a request for prayer. I recently got back from vacation and while I was on vacation I feel like I just did not put Christ first. This is my second trip through the Bible and like Brian says that each trip through really changes you. And I didn’t like who I was on vacation when I didn’t bring Jesus with me and bring them into my daily life. I still listened to Daily Audio Bible, but I did so in a halfhearted kind of perfunctory way – “I’m like having trouble sleeping, so I’ll just listen.”. Anyhow todays Scripture about the three servants really hit me hard. I defaulted to the third servant attitude again, where I’m motivated by fear of punishment instead of reaching and striving for God and due to morality and obedience for its own sake instead of for God’s sake. Anyhow friends, I’m facing a lot. I’m dealing with daily stress including a sick cat who I just can’t get away from and is crying in the background, my apologies. Anyhow, I’m sorry Lord, and I wanted to confess before my DAB family that I have failed, and I want to do better tomorrow. Thank you for changing me so profoundly last year. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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fallen029 · 5 years ago

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Drama Miraxus AU? A little request pretty please?

I somehow missed the AU on the end of this and just wrote a standard drama Miraxus, but here you go anyways. Heh.

Mirajane was rare to feel such tension in those days. Even the most dire of straits the guild might face could be taken with a bit of stride as she’d already overcome three of the worst things someone could ever experience. The loss of both parents at a young age, being forced from your home through no fault of your own, and the death of her younger sister had all prepared her to harden her heart towards most things. Though she could still feel it all, sadness, fear, anger, despair, it would all be walled off, just enough, to where the experience existed, but was easily shoved away, were it to become too much.

She could disassociate from anything heavy and unnecessary for survival.

Laxus was the much the same, she was certain. Though their early childhoods were marred by separate afflictions, the end goal was much the same. Loss of parents (whether through death or other means), unresolved resentment and turmoil, rejection of authority, all culminating into one defining moment in their early adulthood that changed the scope of everything.

For her, it had been the loss of her sister, which she had to bottle up inside and force herself to smile through, becoming a staple inside the bar rather than away from it. Even the restoration of her power and the resurrection of her sister couldn’t undermine the initial toll and changes the event brought about.

For him, it had been what at the time felt like a sound, practical attempt to gain his rightful power, but in reality was just a failed overthrow of what was his only true home, leading to his rightful exile from all he knew. It wasn’t as if, removed from the situation, that Laxus didn’t recognize his wrongs. That he didn’t understand how this had to be the end result for such a scenario. But it did hurt. A lot. And lead to some deep soul searching that lead him right back home, within the same year….give or take seven.

But there had been one person, in both accounts, that linked them irreversibly and though she was a little more open with her admiration, she knew, deep down, he held the man in quite the same regard.

Which was why it was so hard, that night as he paced around the room and she sat up, tired from lack of sleep over the last week, waiting around the old man’s bedside of the inevitable.

Makarov had been such a big part of so many people’s lives. Not just those who grew up inside his guildhall, but even those who’d never stepped foot in it or hadn’t in many years. When he first took ill, this meant a lot of condolences, in advanced, and visitors. But as the days grew shorter and the time felt much more imminent, a semblance of privacy was granted to his family and, in that final day, Laxus saw it fit to send the Thunder Legion home and Mirajane her siblings.

Instead, together, the pair spent soundless hours ticking away as, at first, the elderly man moaned and writhed before, eventually, not falling asleep, but into silence as his unfocused eyes stared mostly up at the ceiling and Laxus had never seen death.

Like this.

Neither had Mirajane, truthfully.

For the body to just reach its unmountable conclusion and slowly slip further and further from the realm of the living felt more like a torture than a reward. If this is what surviving untimely ends brought a person, it was a surprise so many people sought for it.

Mirajane held his hand through most of his groans, stroking his fingers in hopes of providing some sort of comfort. His pain seemed unidentifiable and incurable as it had little to do with the world around them and much less to things unseen. She talked to him, softly, during that time, hoping to hush him, but now as he made no noise at all, she wished she hadn’t.

Still, Mira gripped his one of his frail, bony hands tightly in her own, wishing her own warmth would spread to him, but he just felt cold, even before he was gone. As his wails turned to murmurs and then to eerie silence, she found her own voice doing the same and there was so much to tell him then, that she should have told him, that Laxus should have told him all along, but no one was saying anything and how could this be it?

The end of such a legendary man?

This wasn’t how legends died. No. This was how the forgotten drifted away, important only to those who felt the absence the strongest and, even then, only to a point. Legends exceeded their bitter ends, their lives quite meaningless overall, rather the stories that they sparked carrying on attached to a name that would never be lost to the world, not truly, not if the fires that erupted from the sparks were large enough to be remembered. To be carried on through the ages.

But who would remember this? Who would want to? How could you? Mirajane wanted to forget it as she was living it though, somehow, she knew it would stay with her regardless.

Laxus paced. He had since the afternoon, after sending the others away, the last words he spoke instructions for Freed of how to handle things down at the hall in his absence. It had been a few years, since his grandfather had handed over the reigns to him, but the man’s death would have a huge impact on it regardless. Following his words, he took to walking about the tiny room in his not so big house that he had to share with his wife and, as of the year prior, his grandfather, the latter brought on by the insistence of the former.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want his grandfather to live with them. But it wasn’t as if he rightly did either. Nor did his grandfather desire such a thing. Rather, it was brought on by the recognition that the man was only getting worse, all alone in his tiny home, and though he hated the idea of it, intruding on his grandson’s new marital home, Mirajane worked Laxus down until he recognized that, yes, this was the only way that things would work. As the person constantly making treks over to the old man’s home, it would be easier on her and, honestly, given he was already stressed about the guildhall, knowing his frail grandfather was almost never left unsupervised was one worry, at least, off his mind.

There was much adjustment on all parts to this development and Laxus found himself more put out by it, honestly, a lot of the time, and he hated himself now, oh, man, he hated himself for each and ever curse that he ever uttered about the man, from the time of his childhood up until that very moment, as he stood over his bed, watching as his life’s one, true constant literally wasted away before his very eyes.

“Laxus. Laxus. Laxus?”

It had been a shock, to say the least, only a day prior, when the slayer found himself alone with his grandfather bright and early that morning as Mirajane showered and he’d sent the others off to get food, freshen up themselves. He was seated at the man’s bedside, trying hard not to doze himself, and almost though the was dreaming, truthfully, at the sound of his name leaving Makarov’s cracked lips.

He hadn’t spoken, Makarov hadn’t, for a few days at that point, save his groans and moans, but as Laxus sat to attention, he did then, calling out to his grandson in his stupor.

“Laxus?”“I’m here,” the man breathed, getting to his feet as he stared down at the much older man, “Gramps. I’m right here.”

Makarov’s eyes were open wide and they looked right at him, Laxus felt, seeing him for the first time in days and he almost sighed, really, the man did, in relief as he told his grandson, “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Yeah,” Laxus replied, stumbling a bit into his words, “I’m glad to see-”

“I don’t want them to see me,” he cut his grandson off, “like this.”

“Who, Gramps? The others? They’re just all here because they love you. That’s why they’re all here. They-”

“My,” the old man told him through a gasped breath, “parents.”

“W-What? Who?”

“I see them, Laxus,” he told him as his eyes shut once more and, when they opened again, Laxus didn't’ feel the gaze. “Here. With us. My father. My mother. My mother… I don’t want them to see me, like… They won’t recognize me. So old… How will they recognize me?”

His breath caught a few times, Laxus’ did, considering his next words carefully, before eventually swallowing heavily as he remarked, “Are you kiddin’, Makie? You? Old? Nah. Look at ya. You’re a short guy, I’ll give ya that, but… That full head of bright, yellow hair. Golden. So blonde, it’s golden. And you look like him. Just a bit. Yuri. So much like him, Makie. Of course he’ll recognize you. They both will. Gramps.”

He smiled weakly, Makarov did then, and when he reached out, it wasn’t for his grandson’s hands, but rather his cheeks, which he held tightly to.

“Laxus,” he breathed, but he wasn’t seeing him then, not truly, and wouldn’t ever again. “Be happy. Strong. Okay?”

“Okay,” Laxus agreed, nodding his head just a bit as the old man released it. “I will. I promise.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what? Gramps? Huh? There’s nothing you gotta be-”

“You’re the last one. The last Dreyar. Don’t be the last Dreyar. Okay?”

“I won’t be.” And that time his chest ached. “I promise.”

Makarov was drifting away again, Laxus could tell, but had no idea how to stop it. After a deep draw of breath, his grandfather told him simply, “I’m so sorry, Laxus.”

And he didn’t have it in him that time, Laxus didn’t, to deny the man. Instead, he only laid a hand over where his grandfather’s rested, folded now over his chest.

“It’s okay, Gramps,” he assured him. “I forgive you.”

He’d seemingly falling back asleep, Makarov had, by the time any of the others returned and Laxus mentioned none of what was said to any of them. He didn’t need to. Makarov had loved all of his children, from Natsu to Lisanna to Cana, Mirajane to Erza to Freed, but they weren’t the same as his grandson. No one meant as much to him as his grandson.

And that final moment, the last time the man would ever speak, was only meant for his grandson.

Laxus was lost in his own thoughts as he paced about, randomly glancing over at the man or his wife, but mostly keeping his head down, antsy and unnerved by the prospect that, at the light of dawn, it really would be true.

He really would be the last, true, blood Dreyar.

Or at least, he sighed in consideration of his father, the last one that mattered.

When it happened, when Makarov started…making noises again, it jolted Laxus out of his thoughts and he didn’t know what to do, honestly, because he sounded as if he were in horrible pain, but Mirajane, with tears in her eyes, only gripped one of his hands tighter, humming loudly, hoping the man could hear her.

“What do we do?” Laxus breathed, but without looking at him, his wife only kept humming and he knew the answer.

Nothing.

They could do nothing.

This was it.

As he clenched his teeth and hated it, all of it, Laxus refused to leave the room. No matter how hard it was. And, as the sounds faded and the room felt emptier, somehow, Mirajane only stopped humming so suddenly than it felt more jarring, somehow, more than his grandfather’s death rattle had. Letting his hand fall from her own, Mirajane placed it gently over Makarov’s chest as she rose to her feet.

The sky outside had turned pink and dawn was hardly upon them as she came over to hug her husband. Laxus had felt frozen in place, the entire time, had it been hours/ He didn’t know. Just that when Mirajane wrapped her arms around him, it caused him to stumble, only from the contact.

“Are you okay?” she asked through tears as she tilted her head up to stare at him, but Laxus could only shake his head, unable to look over at where his grandfather lay, now just a shell, left behind.

“No,” he admitted softly, hugging her then, tightly. “I’m not.

#Miraxus #Request #Death #Fanfiction #Fairy Tail

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letstalksymphogear · 6 years ago

Text

Symphogear, EP. 4 (Cont)

The gremlin challenges Tsubasa, a Symphogear, whose entire shtick is to sing to channel power, to sing.

It dawns on her, however, that Tsubasa is part Greninja. Tsubasa used Shadow-Weaving! It’s super effective.

“tell me, you jellyfish looking weirdo...”

“hey- hey, time out. are you gonna do what i think you’re gonna do. this is gonna like, kill you. you know that, right? that you will literally die? you do understand you can just retreat now or- or just take hibiki away, right? i even told you that was the whole point of this... uh... oh shit.”

“ARE YOU READY TO JAM”

“tsubasa please i will literally lend you my remaining brain cell to stop you from this really stupid mistake”

Dad has entered the server.

“oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. o- ryoko. stop breathing on me. this isnt helping my anxiety over my adopted daughter figure literally preparing to kill herself over my commands.”

“sorry babe its just the asthma, forgot my inhaler”

“i cannot FUCKING believe of ALL the opponents i had to fight i had to fight the DUMBEST one on the goddamn block, you idiot, you absolute dunce, RETHINK THIS”

“OH GOD SHE’S DOING IT! SHE’S DOING IT! THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN- FUCK- FUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE! FUCK! FUCK!”

“just used up my last brain cell for this attack, pal. you’re through.”

“NAH, EAT ASS YOU- YOU GODDAMN MANIAC”

“HAHA YEAH, GOT YOU NOW, SLOW WALKING, DRAMA INDUCIN’, PURPLE RAIN CHANN-”

“OH GOD! YOU TELEPORTED! YOU’VE GOT SV_CHEATS SET TO 1, DON’T YOU! NOCLIPPING LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS GET OUT OF MY FACE”

“WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WHOA I KNOW I CRACKED SOME JOKES BUT WE LITERALLY JUST MET AND I- I GOTTA KNOW PEOPLE FIRST BEFORE THIS SHIT AND- OH GOD PLEASE STOP”

“OH GOD! THIS... RAW, GAY, REPRESSED ENERGY... IT’S... TOO STRONG...”

The gremlin could not begin to comprehend Tsubasa’s intense love for incredibly well-built redheaded women.

Hibiki can, though.

“SO......... MUCH........... SAUCE...................”

“.................................................”

The gremlin retreats after getting her licks. This scene subtly implied something; the Nehushtan armor she wears regenerates over time, which means no matter how much damage it sustains, it will always return in one piece. The same can’t be said for the user, though.

Hibiki runs to Tsubasa, checking if she’s okay, totally oblivious to the gravity of what just happened.

“i came just as i could and ive brought happy meals for everyone”

Genjuro asks if Tsubasa is okay.

I dunno man, this is a pretty tough judgement call here. I mean, is she okay? Pain is a pretty subjective experience, after all.

“oh my god i get it. i get the joke she implied. she wanted to jam. she’s jammed! cause it- it looks like jam! no, wait, its more like sauce...”

It dawns on Hibiki that people actually do die during this job.

Tsubasa, as it turns out, survived her Swan Song. It makes sense that she would because she was naturally receptive to her relic, Ame-No-Habakiri. Still, the injury comes with great gravity. She’s benched for the next season, and it’s likely she’s gonna miss the playoffs.

Stuck on a respirator on the edge of life, Tsubasa will probably look back at this and go, “Gosh, I was such a wild child. Haha. Almost dying and all.”

Hibiki wraps her single braincell around the idea of death. Most main characters aren’t familiar with the concept of death, you see, because most don’t die. But this is Season One Symphogear. Flirting with death is common.

Ogawa comes in to comfort her.

“dumbass had her opponent bound and the gremlin still escaped anyway”

Ogawa then explains shit we already know. Thanks, Ogawa.

“in summation: i get where you’re coming from, but stop fucking saying ‘im gonna replace kanade’, please, im begging you”

Hibiki FINALLY gets it, and naturally upon realizing, feels really bad for it. A real right and true asshole.

“oh thank god i was worried not even that was going to get to you”

Meanwhile, in Tsubasa’s mind...

“ah fuck me. im trapped in metaphor limbo. see, im falling because i clipped my wing, cause i nearly died, you know, like icarus and shit”

“hold up my gay senses are tingling”

Her senses confirmed. Kanade is in her mind, in probably the most romantic metaphor possible. There is absolutely no way to interpret all of this platonically.

Tsubasa is literally submerged in a sea of her own emotions...

Involving Kanade, and how she strives to be like her and honor her memory.

SHE LITERALLY DROWNS IN THOSE EMOTIONS, SUBMERGING DEEPER INTO THE WATER.

youtube

Tsubasa, in her Symphogear Brand Medical Cocoon for the Dumb and Beaten Down, quietly slumbers in her semi-comatose state as she wrestles the water metaphors of her own sexual identity.

The poor thing just misses her girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Hibiki sits and thinks more than usual. In a flashback, Genjuro muses about how The Gremlin wanted to kidnap Hibiki.

“i dunno maybe The Gremlin’s super lonely or shit”

“i mean if thats the case ill just adopt her too”

Since Tsubasa is away, Hibiki has to pick up the quota for teenage angst in the 2nd Division. Unfortunately, she has very big shoes to fill, but Hibiki isn’t one for slacking in the misery department. She blames herself for everything.

“im really going to fire the therapist we have around here for being pretty damn useless”

“can i be the therapist?”

“ryoko i am absolutely begging you to filter your bad ideas given the several teenage crises we’re dealing with right now”

Hibiki then yells out, for what is possibly the third time, out of the blue:

“I HAVE PEOPLE I WANT TO PROTECT”

The flashback ends.

And speaking of girlfriends.

“there is no force on this planet stopping me from having some quality fucking time with my girlfriend damnit”

Miku points out Hibiki has been pretty lonely. Says she heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another she was messin’ ‘round.

Unfortunately, Miku is a goddamned chad.

Immediate handholding. Make no mistake. Behind those soft-spoken eyes lies an absolute master.

“o-oh, my hand, you’re holding it, so smoothly”

“hibiki, you’re my sunshine. i want to soak up your rays so hard that every piece of flesh of my body is horribly mutilated from skin cancer.”

“jesus christ miku at least use sunscreen in your metaphors”

“ill use them just for you, hibiki. just for you.”

Their relationship is interesting. When one of them is sad, the other sorta acts as an angst vacuum. You’ll see them flip flop with their points of misery with each other, but when together, those problems always melt away.

Of course, emphasis on being together. Season 1 is the worst with keep them away from each other.

“Just Be Yourself!” Miku Kohinata, Symphogear, 2012.

“fuck me, you’re right. im the protagonist. i cant just eat shit here the whole time. i gotta do protagonist things!”

“was that an invitation?”

“another time. but now... let’s just catch up.”

And so, they laugh together about how the recorded footage of the meteor shower was all black. Truly the greatest couple of all time.

It is this realization of being her own self, coupled with her renewed gay energy, and new perspective on what she must do, that causes everything to go uphill for her from here. Take note.

Here is where a God is truly born.

Tachibana Hibiki.

The end of this episode cuts to a specific dojo.

Genjuro’s dojo.

“i dont fuck around with training, even though i probably should have trained you sooner. you sure about this?”

“dadman either you do this or i will most definitely die next time”

Part of their training involves watching action movies, because Genjuro is so unreal that he should frankly be a fictional character in the very universe he exists in.

Fucking adorable.

“im so conflicted its so clear she’s part of /fit/ now but i cant help but imagine her washboard abs”

Hibiki balls even harder at karaoke now, due to her Symphogear training, and not because she’s secretly Aoi Yuki playing a recolored version of Madoka.

Her significant other is mildly terrified at the superhuman that is slowly unfolding her powers before her eyes.

In the end, things all reach their logical conclusion.

Hibiki becomes a Tekken character, just like Genjuro.

Of course... Miku pushes the fact very subtly that she would never hide anything from Hibiki...

Turmoil brews in the worst way... soon...

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime

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lunar-years · 6 years ago

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JTV Season 5 Discourse

(honestly I hadn’t thought about JTV in ages, but after seeing the new trailer I’m suddenly emo about this show again and I just want to put my theories/thoughts somewhere. So anyway here’s my mind vomit.)

OKAY I don’t want to be controversial but honestly what was the point of bringing back Michael from the dead if they’re only using it to cement a Jane/Rafael endgame? Like there’s only two routes the writers can be taking here: they're either just using this as added drama before eventual endgame Jafael, or they’ve decided they want a Jane/Michael happy ending after all. In my opinion only the latter justifies bringing Michael back into the picture, while the first is just needlessly cruel to everyone involved...

1) So in the Jafael endgame scenario, the assumed point of bringing Michael back is to spice up the final season by inserting a little extra drama/uncertainty into the Jafael relationship. Michael comes back, Jane decides she needs to give her marriage another go and breaks up with Rafael, Michael is an entirely different person because of his amnesia, Jane ultimately decides she can’t live in the past and must move forward with her life now, and ~bam~ jafael end goal is achieved...

This scenario is surface-level good. Sure, it makes for a suspenseful season, but if you look even remotely more deeply, all it really does is 1) bring back a widely loved character only to screw him over again by using him as a pawn, causing their main character intense turmoil in the process. 2) demonstrate that they as writers do not want, or cannot, create an actually interesting plot for Jafael in which they remain in a long-term, committed relationship. One of the best parts of the Michael/Jane storyline (in my opinion) was the early season 3 stuff in which they began life as a married couple and learn to become domestic partners, as well as romantic ones. If they didn’t bring back Michael for season 5, they could have explored a similar route with Jafael, having simply continued on the current storyline of having them move in together and navigate the new struggles and challenges that come with that change. In my opinion, that they don’t do so only demonstrates that the writers struggle to create internal disagreements or conflicts (and successful resolutions) between Jafael (something they never had a problem doing well with Villadero). Like many TV writers before them, they claim they cannot write a dynamic, interesting married (or nearly married) couple with the characters they have created, so they instead decide to rehash an old love triangle, inserting an external source of conflict to stir relationship drama instead (and like, it’s not even good drama...no one wants to see the love triangle plot between these three AGAIN...)

The major benefit I’ve seen people in favor of this plot argue is that it would ultimately solidify that Rafael isn’t Jane’s second choice. Having her ultimately select him over Michael would alleviate Raf’s insecurities and make it clear that Michael wasn’t Jane’s “true love” after all. I gotta say this doesn’t add up. Sorry, but if they have to kill Michael off, have Raf undergo major character growth by sending him to prison, AND skip ahead 5 years just to create a circumstance where Rafael and Jane would get back together, Rafael IS Jane’s second choice. Only bringing Michael back years later, oh yeah, and with amnesia, to create a scenario where Jane would choose him, does nothing to overturn that verdict.

2) in a Villadero endgame scenario, the writers instead brought back Michael for a final, grand, romantic, telenovela arc. Michael has amnesia. They struggle to reconnect. Jane does go back and forth between her long “dead,” newly revived husband and her current boyfriend. But slowly, She and Michael begin to fall in love again. She gives up trying to make him remember everything about their past, and when she does, it becomes clearly that really he hasn’t changed, not in any fundamental way. He is still just as sweet, just as caring, just as brave and kind. And he has fallen for her all over again, in fact he is just as in love with her as he was then—and that’s what matters, not that he remember every little detail about their past together. And she loves him just as much in return. They build a new future, together.

There are downsides to this from an overall show perspective, I won’t deny. In this scenario, Michael’s “death” plot instantly becomes even more unnecessary and stupid than it already was, because if the plan was to keep Jane and Michael together all along, why kill him (thus isolating the fans that supported Jane/Michael), bring back Jafael, and string Jafael fans along with revived hope for naught? Admittedly, they’ve kind of lost both sets of viewers at that point. However, since they DID kill Michael, since they DID skip 5 years, and since they’ve now decided to bring him back, this seems like the best scenario. While it would upset #TeamRaf, this endgame quite frankly screws them over far less than it would #TeamMichael, should they carry out option 1. In this second proposed season plot, Rafael is able to demonstrate just how big of an impact the years since Michael’s death have had on him, changing him for the better. The positive change in him that progressed across season 4 can culminate in him finally letting Jane go once and for all, accepting her choice to be with Michael in a way he was never able to before Michael’s “death”, and hopefully at last finding happiness outside of her.

Either way, I maintain that the dumbest thing JTV did was kill off Michael. It changed the show, and has honestly made everything since seem so...senseless.... With that said, because they did make that choice, I see the only real way forward as option #2. They’ve essentially put Rafael in the position to receive a happy ending even without Jane, in a way that WOULD be satisfying to a lot of viewers because it would be the ultimate culmination to his immense character growth arc throughout the series. This is not really so with Michael. They’ve already done him so dirty once, frankly, by killing him off in the first place (just so they could put Jafael back together, but I digress), so bringing him back only to strip him of his memory, then using that as a means for him to also lose his wife just seems...so relentlessly cruel. If they wanted a Jafael endgame, it would have been SO much kinder to just never have brought Michael back into it at all.

Obviously I’m biased. I am a Jane/Michael fan myself and I want them to be together in the end, but given the writers’ strange choices leading up to this, it also just seems like a much better ending for the show as a whole.

#jtv #villadero #anti-rafael #ignore this it's long I just wanted to rant into the void #maybe not actually ANTI Raf but my overwhelming feeling towards him is indifference and he and jane have absolutely nothing in common #besides mateo #i just don't get them #and this ending makes WAY more sense for everyone #sorry thats the tea #otp: we're gonna be happy

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cupidmarwani-archive · 6 years ago

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Roaring (4/?)

Alex stays at the party all night, keeping an eye on Nick and Rafael, even long after everyone else has started to go home and Olivia goes back into her house. The sun dances at the edge of the horizon, the same way exhaustion turns the edges of Alex’s vision hazy black. She should go home now, and try to rest before her meeting tonight. There are a lot of things she should do, such as calm down and get married to a man. But Alex has never been one for societal expectations.

She slides up onto the porch and pushes open the door instead, because she knows no one locks it. No one stops her either, because she’s too much of a common occurrence in the Barba household. Her feet know the way up to Olivia’s room, just as they know how to be quiet when needed. Heels often click on tile, but the sound disrupts Barba’s boyfriend’s- Nick, he had called himself- sleep.

Olivia’s bedroom door, however, is locked. The only time she locks it is when Alex is in there with her for hours on end. Hurt, shock, and something dark and slippery curl around Alex’s lungs. She should leave, she thinks, but instead she slaps her flat palm against the wood without caring if it wakes Nick, or Olivia, or whoever’s stolen Alex’s place next to her in bed. No one opens it right away, so she hits it again, several times, until the lock clicks and the door swings open.

It isn’t Olivia standing there in last night’s clothes, but Casey, wrapped in the duvet while Liv blinks awake on the mattress.

“Alex!” Casey exclaims, a genuine smile on her face contrasting with her bruises and scrapes. “I’m so glad to see you! I got in so late last night, I just came straight to Liv. I woulda called, I swear, but I thought you’d be sleeping.”

“Sorry for your loss.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Casey steps aside easily for Alex to go into the room and observe Olivia’s slow attempts to come to consciousness. There are no marks on her body, which is a good enough indicator that nothing too much happened. Casey likes to leave evidence of her tongue and lips and hands. She’s possessive like that, had been on late nights in the past when she had one hand curled around Olivia’s neck and the other buried in Alex’s hair.

Alex finds herself crawling into bed and burying her face against the flat slant of Olivia’s chest, between her collarbones and above the swell of her breasts. The way Liv’s arm falls across her waist and the way she holds her close is habitual and familiar, something they don’t do as often anymore because they either don’t have the time, or Olivia isn’t in the mood for anything but sulking. She wants to leave marks of her own.

“I thought you wanted to be alone,” she murmurs.

“I did. She just showed up, and I couldn’t turn her away.”

“Couldn’t, or wouldn’t?”

Olivia kisses the top of Alex’s head in a gesture meant to reassure her, to settle her down somewhat before she works herself up into a real fit over this. It is bullshit, in her defense, that someone who’s supposed to be hers went for Casey instead. It hurts deep and dull.

“Case, go get some clothes, yeah? I gotta talk to my girl.”

“If Rafi and his boyfriend are around…”

“My closet’s two feet to the right of my bedroom door.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Casey leaves at Olivia’s obvious dismissal, but she’ll be back in less than five minutes. She’s nosy, and doesn’t like to be left out of the loop. Whatever it costs her, she’ll eventually figure out what happens in this room, in this brief respite from the turmoil outside. She should be talking now, while she has the chance and the privacy, but instead Alex just lays there and lets herself be held because it’s what she deserves.

She feels safe like this, but she can’t stop wondering about what Nick is up to, and what it could mean for Olivia. Rafael has the status to get out of it, Nick can disappear, but Olivia is just high profile enough but not powerful enough to take the fall, especially given her social proclivities that have her bedroom populated by Alex and Casey.

“Now that she’s back, what happens? Before everything, you two were close.”

Olivia studies the ceiling and bites her lip. “Nothing happens. I’ll take care of her, and you and I, same as always.”

Except it won’t be, because Olivia barely seems to have time or energy for Alex now, but with Casey around and the drama of her most likely having killed her husband, which puts her at a higher risk for possibly snapping and hurting Olivia next, and Alex couldn’t bear that. She doesn’t want to lose her. It was close enough back when she was in the war. This is something else entirely.

“And what does that mean. You and I. Am I your girlfriend, am I one of the girls at your party who you touch when it’s convenient…?”

“Doll, not like that.”

But it is like that, sometimes, and Alex can’t stay here much longer because she’s got meetings to attend, points to make, and she wants to get some sleep beforehand so that she can be useful to the cause. There are people who need her, people who will treat her better than Olivia is right now, and definitely better than what Casey is apt to do if she feels threatened.

Just then, Casey returns in Olivia’s clothes, which fit her, but differently. She doesn’t look like anyone or anything, but rather a vision of something, something that makes Alex think of tangy tastes on her tongue and the feel of soft lips on hers. She bows her head so she doesn’t have to look at her.

“Liv, what now?” Casey asks.

Alex takes that as her cue to slip out of bed and leave the two of them to talk, and get back to trying to figure out what Nick and Rafael are doing before it hurts Olivia too badly.

#roaringfic #mine #fic

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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June 19th-June 25th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from June 19th, 2019 to June 25th, 2019. The chat focused on the following question:

From any webcomic, what scene will you never, ever forget?

Jo Michelle

I mean, I gotta say The Pascal Incident in http://www.galebound.com/. That was ... unexpected. And painful. But, man, http://thedreamercomic.com/ and Nathan Hale's death scene will always have a special place in my heart as well. (edited)

MJ Massey

Probably this whole sequence in Gunnerkrigg Court, but particularly this page: https://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1044

khkddn

ooh i like that sequence from gunnerkrigg too! but the most unforgettable scene to me is when annie says goodbye to mort. never has a comic made me feel so much for a lil ghost dude

€heshire777

yeah

Jo Michelle

I apparently am years and years behind on Gunnerkrigg.... @_@

MJ Massey

Oh man Mortttttt he was the bestttttttt

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

The biggest Big Reveals in Drop Out http://drop-out.thecomicseries.com/comics/1 and Skin Horse http://skin-horse.com/...which I don't want to describe because spoilers, but trust me, they're super good

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Also, the part-romance-part-confrontation in Serenity Rose, starting around here: https://www.aaronalexovich.com/comic/break-your-stupid-heart-page-068/

Attila Polyák

The very beginning of Tower of God, when Bam passes his first test. Particularly when Black March shows up: https://www.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/tower-of-god/season-1-ep-4/viewer?title_no=95&episode_no=5

RebelVampire

This scene in Radio Silence http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/comic/185 where Shy realizes that his friend may not be his friend after all. That facial expression hits me right in the heart everytime. From Zenchav, the scene where Damon is born and Rex shows up and just starts burning people alive like the fancy villain he is. And also the levity of the doctor taking the hint to gtfo http://khyatix.com/Zenchav/Volume1/ZenchavVolume1#p=18 From Psychteria, the scene where Zage and Sen fight and Zage basically goes psycho murderer for a moment because of wanting to protect. http://psychteria.fenauriverse.moe/comic/281 From Galebound, the scene where Pascal shows up and then the subsequent scene where Pascal lets them get away. That face and outfit made me fall in love. http://www.galebound.com/comics/2369956/040/ From Alethia, the scene on the tram where there is basically nothing but emotional turmoil after perhaps my favoriter chapter of the series: http://alethia.kstipetic.com/chapter6.html From Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R, this fight scene where the answer turns out to be love wins everything http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/263 and that's where i stop before i make 20 walls

ShaRose49

Maybe the big reveal/confession scene that happened recently in Good Day to Be a Dog. So beautiful visually and felt so satisfying after such a long buildup. https://m.webtoons.com/en/drama/a-good-day-tobe-a-dog/list?title_no=1390&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true

NeilKapit

October 20 by Marius Hjelseth has a lot of these (october20comic.com) , as expected for a book about a cast of ragged characters hunted by an ancient annual curse, but the scene where a specific character shoots his lover to save his own ass especially hits home

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #reader favorites

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darkloverlost · 6 years ago

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TURMOIL w/@Rogue_Vishous

Wrath:

Nothing had been right since that female showed up at the Audience House. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything and it was pissing me the fuck off. I had gotten to the point where I was sparring every spare moment. I had attempted to spar with Z, but V put a halt to that. So, here I was going fist to fist with him, instead. I was hitting harder than ever before, but I was so screwed up in the head, I barely connected with anything and V was getting the better of me. “Fuck!” I spat, stepping aside for a minute, after V clocked me good.

I needed to get my head in the game. I had been messing up at work, too. The other night I had screamed at a few citizens that couldn’t solve their own problems. Sometimes I felt as though I was just some referee for the race. Can’t resolve an issue amongst yourselves, bring it to the King, even if it is about a stupid chair. A chair. Yes, that’s right. This family lost their grandsire, and he had this chair… anyway, it doesn’t really matter. It was the most asinine thing I had ever heard. They had all deserved a good tongue lashing.

Vishous: *While sparring with the King, I started to think he wasn’t even trying. I was waitingfor him to give me everything he had and Nothing I wasn’t even breaking a sweat. * What is going on Wrath are you even trying? *I ask as he stepped aside. You’ve got to let me know what is going through your mind. After that female left the Audience House you haven’t been the same since.

Your yelling at the brothers the citizens even LW has noticed. Your needing to take a break from the Audience House. We all cannot go on like this true? * Something is going on even before that female came along I knew he was just going through the paces. I hate to even think this but our King is losing his mind.*

Wrath:

“Seriously? LW?” I questioned as I began to pace the mats. This had gotten worse than I thought. The Brothers could handle my mood. I had been pretty much a brute about things around the homestead ever since Beth and gone unto The Fade. They were used to it. The Audience House I had wanted to take some time away from for a while, anyway. I was overdue. But, LW… that was a totally different beast. For him to notice a change… I had really fucked up. Par for the course, at this point, though. I couldn’t seem to keep my head out of my ass, as of late, and this female showing up didn’t help. It’s been ten years and I’ve had not one inkling of a feeling towards any female. Not even any of the Chosen that come to force me to feed from them, when I get too weak. Not once have I had any kind of a stirring from below the belt… unless I’m having a dream about my belated Queen. But, this female that came by the Audience House had definitely caused a stirring and it made me feel guilty as hell, and unfaithful, and so fucking wrong. It was as if I had cheated on Beth and I hadn’t even gotten close to the female. I even threw her out. That hadn’t seemed to matter, though. She had barely left my thoughts since. I had heard her voice in my dreams. I wasn’t about to admit that to V, though. “I’m fine, V. It’s nothing. Same shit, different day is all. Let’s close down the Audience House for two weeks. Shift things around. Bring in Saxton, if needed, to discuss with me any urgent matters. Got it?”

Vishous: Yes LW. You know he can talk now right? He’s come to me not long ago asking why Dad is so angry *I know there are other things going on in his head, He’s like a fucking valut keeps it locked up tight. Ever since Beth went unto the Fade he has been bitchy like a female but worse than before since that night at the Audience House.* So are we going to talk about that female? Why you were so short with her . Why her?. And Saxton can take care of all the shit being sent in. *I walk back to the middle and tell Wrath to work a little harder at trying to take me down. I know he can’t his head is all mixed up Maybe I can knock a little sense back into him.* @DarkLoverLost

Wrath:

A growl threatens, “Fuck you, V. I know my son can talk.” He’s coming dangerously close to pissing me off even more. It’s as if he’s taunting me. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make more of an effort around him.” I conceded, although I wasn’t sure how much more of an effort I could make. I had thought I had been doing okay at home. Then again, there were days when I just didn’t care. Depression had been a death sentence for me. Most days, I got through due to LW. Some days though, even he couldn’t get me from evening to morning. On those days, I tried to stay away… from everyone. I knew I wasn’t any fun to be around on a normal day. Those days, I just wanted to cut a bitch, and I was always afraid I might.

Turning towards V’s voice, I bent forward and bolted at him, slamming him to the ground on his back. “I’m not talking about her, man. It was nothing. I was done for the day, that’s all.” I hadn’t realized that by acknowledging his comment, that I was letting him know, that I knew exactly who he was talking about, which in essence gave away the truth, that she had gotten under my skin. “Like I’ve been saying, I’ve needed a break from that place for a while. I had just had enough.” Why did he need to keep bringing her up. Like I needed any kind of reminder. The female dominated my thoughts. I had gotten to the point where I had pretty much spent the past three days drinking myself to bed, in hopes that the alcohol would erase her. No such fucking luck. It just gave me more bizarre dreams about her and massive hangovers in the evening.

Vishous: *i knew I was in the wrong bring up LW bit something had to get through to him and I knew that female had messed up his head. Seeing him act that way. The only time I’ve ever seen him go bazaar on another male like he has toward me was his Shellen. I seen his body tense up after being up that female at the house and him slamming me to the ground that was the last straw.* ok, that’s not sparing brother. You need to get your fucking head straight and if it has to do with LW or that damn female. Do something then else then drinking your damn black or taking it out on your brotherhood. *I rip all my sparring gear off throw it on the floor stand there glaring at him with my arms crossed waiting for a response on what I said. And I couldn’t take the silence* I know you know your son can talk now you need to listen to him. To all of us. We all miss Beth because she was the only one that can talk damn sense in your thick skull. Now you need to listen to your own blood brother. We are all here. *tapping my temple even tho I know he can’t see* I still see things in my mind brother. @DarkLoverLost

Wrath:

I could hear V tearing his gear off and making a scene. He should know by now that kicking up the drama wasn’t going to get him anywhere with me, aside from pissing me right the fuck off. “No, you listen up! My son and that female are off fucking limits! I’m not talking to you about either one of them, right now.” It riled me up even more that he thought he could get into my head with all this shit. “It’s been ten years since Beth went unto The Fade. I’m sick and tired of all my Brothers thinking they can throw a switch and I’m all of a sudden going to be fine. It don’t work like that, V. A male’s gotta go through what a male’s gotta go through, and for me that means raising a young all on my own, ruling a whole race…” Growling out the next part, I continued, “oh yeah, and mourning the loss of my mate!” I hadn’t even realized I had been tearing a track in the mats from all my pacing. “I would hate to see the day that you lose your mate, my Brother. Maybe, then I’ll take some advice on the subject from you. Until that day, stop pushing me to get past it. I’ll get there when I get there.”

This whole thing was getting old. The depression sucked ass, the guilt of feeling less than a father to my son was unbearable, the stress of having to rule the race under all these conditions was breaking me, the Brothers thinking I was going to just snap out of it all had me ready to fucking snap in all the wrong ways, and now I had this fucking female that was taking over all my waking thoughts. Talk about fucking guilt! Which reminded me… “And stay out of my head, V!”

Vishous: *I wouldn’t know what it’s like with losing my Shellen. I came close once. I wouldn’t want that pain. My Leelan is my world just like my brothers. I know he is in pain but, the race needs home and his son if this female is the cause of his craziness he’s got to stay clear of her.* I’ll hand her problems you need to go back to the audience house and go down to Darius rooms and get away Sire take LW with you if need be. I’ll get with #Saxton and take care of things. *I don’t know if this will help. But I think I may need to talk to that female and keep her away.*I know your in pain and I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my Shellen, I don’t know your pain but I did come close to losing her if you remember. I can’t stay out of your head your screaming. @DarkLoverLost

Wrath: Shaking my head, I respond, “If I’m taking some time away from the Audience House, it’s not going to be in its basement.” Thinking for a minute, I come up with a better plan. Well, maybe not really so much of a great plan, but one that a little more palatable than hanging out downstairs, in the Audience House, the one place I am trying to avoid. “I can hang out here, at the manse. I’ll take LW on a couple of excursions to… “ I began to think about it. Where was I going to take him to? Downtown Caldwell? In the middle of the night? Not! I could take him out to dinner, but how much fun was a young going to have at a restaurant that didn’t have an arcade in it? “I’ll think of something. But, I’m not going to spend my time off in the basement of the building I’m avoiding.”

I begin to shrug off my training gear and kick it off to the side. “Do what you have to with Saxton. I need this time off, now. Not in a couple of weeks. If I have to sit through one more dispute over… what was it? A gaggle(?) of chickens, or whatever they called it… I just might throw my desk at someone.” Pushing my wraparounds up far enough to rub my eyes, I continue, “Make it happen, would ya?”

As I begin to walk away, I reach out and pat V once on the shoulder. “Thanks, man.” I’m not the apologetic type, so I don’t apologize for flattening him on the mat or yelling at him earlier, but V knows I appreciate what he does.

Vishous: *Listening to what Wrath says I know what I can and can’t say enough to piss him off to get done what needs to be done, And him getting away needs to be done. I see something coming and I don’t want to stop it.* Yeah, I got Saxton, I know what I need to do Sire. *All I can do is nod when he says Thanks to me.* The next time you want to kick someones ass, call Hollywood. *I call behind him as he walks out. Our race is going to flourish again. I know it’s coming I can see it.*

#Turmoil #EternallyBoundRPG

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miraculousmumma · 7 years ago

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Green Eyed Cat-Monster Chat-pter Sept

Characters: Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir, Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Alya Césaire, Nino Lahiffe, Mlle Bustier, Ms Medeleiev, Chloé Bourgeois, Tom Dupain, Sabine Cheng

Pairings: Adrien/Marinette, Chat Noir/Marinette, Marinette/Luka

Warnings: A little angst, a little fluff, a little swearing, a little kissing

Word Count: 10,150

Summary: When Marinette accidentally sees Chat Noir drop his transformation so many things suddenly make sense, but matters are quickly confused again when she bumps into Luka Couffaine, literally. With both he and a certain cat-boy suddenly vying for her affection, what is she supposed to do?

Masterlist

‘Nothing happened, Alya. I told you last night when I text you.’ Marinette complained as she pulled her outfit out of the closet.

‘Chat Noir literally took you out of class when there wasn’t an akuma. Something has to have happened.’ Alya argued.

Marinette shook her head at Alya’s persistence. ‘They thought Adrien and I were at risk so kept an eye on us for the afternoon. That’s it.’

‘And did you and Adrien get to talk?’

‘They kept us at different locations.’

‘Pity.’ Alya replied. ‘Okay, onto the next. What are you wearing tonight?’

‘I’ll send you pics as soon as I’m changed.’

‘You mean you’re not dressed yet?’

‘I just finished doing my hair and makeup. I was about to get dressed when you called!’ Marinette complained defensively.

‘I need to know what you’re wearing before you put it on. What if you chose something bad to sabotage tonight so that you could safely go after Adrien?’

‘I am not trying to sabotage tonight!’

‘I mean subconsciously.’ Alya replied.

‘Not even subconsciously. I’ll show you in a few minutes, but I have to finish up!’

‘Yeah, okay.’ Alya’s sigh was loud down the line. ‘But if I don’t like it expect another call!’

‘Obviously.’ Marinette replied with a small smile. ‘I’ll message you later.’

‘Make sure you do.’

‘Bye, Alya.’ She said, hanging up and throwing the phone onto her chaise.

She had managed to avoid Chat on patrol earlier, glimpsing him at a distance briefly as they traversed the rooftops, and she was glad. She didn’t know what else to say to him. He held her heart, he always had, whether he was model or hero, but Luka…from the moment they met he had always made her feel she was worth something, that the sun could shine on Marinette and not just cast the shadow of Ladybug over her. She glanced at the skirt in her hand. She had to finish getting ready.

Luka was four minutes early, and for once Marinette was ready. He greeted Tom and Sabine politely, promising to have Marinette home by eleven, before they set off together for the coffeehouse that was hosting the open mic night, his guitar on his shoulder in its case.

‘Juleka told me there was some drama at school yesterday.’ Luka said as he dropped back a step, enough that he could rest his hands on her elbows and move her to the inside of the pavement as they walked, making Marinette smile at the chivalrous gesture.

‘It was nothing.’ Marinette said dismissively. ‘False alarm, by all accounts.’

‘Huh.’ Luka nodded. ‘As long as everything is okay.’

‘It’s fine.’ She shrugged, toying with her bag. ‘But could we not talk about it?’

‘Sure.’

‘Thanks.’

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Marinette’s brain trying hard to find something to talk about, but it kept being dragged back to green eyes and blond hair.

‘You never finished telling me about the design you’re working on.’ Luka reminded her. ‘You said it was a big one.’

She shook her head, dispersing any thoughts of Chatdrien for now, smiling up at Luka as she decided he deserved her full attention. ‘I got a commission from a local dance school to design their costumes for the midsummer festival.’

‘The entire troupe?’ Luka looked at her in surprise. ‘That’s a lot of costumes.’

‘It’s just the design. I have another two weeks and I’m almost done.’

‘I don’t know how you find the time.’ He laughed. ‘I have enough trouble keeping my college and music together, and they’re the same topic.’

‘It might help if you didn’t stay up all night.’ She nudged him with her elbow, knowing he did that a lot, both writing and playing the music he wanted to rather than what was designated by his course.

‘I don’t have your focus.’ He nudged her back with his arm, his fingers brushing hers. After a moment’s hesitation his fingers caressed her palm, seeking permission, and she bit her lip before pressing her fingers to his, allowing him to lace them together. ‘Is it okay to hold your hand?’ He asked, glancing down at her as her cheeks flushed.

‘It’s okay.’ She nodded shyly.

They carried on to the coffeehouse hand in hand, laughing and catching up, and when they reached their destination Luka lead Marinette to a small table to the side. The seats were facing a small stage in the centre of the room with a single stool and microphone under a spotlight.

‘People sign up and they can do anything; sing, play, comedy. No one gets booed off. It’s just a great way to express yourself. You want to sign up?’

‘Oh no.’ She shook her head with a nervous laugh. ‘I don’t think anything I do would work on stage.’

‘You’re amazing as you are, Marinette, but I’d like to keep that to myself for tonight.’ He smiled at her. ‘Can I get you a coffee?’

‘Please.’

By the time Luka returned the first act was on stage, just one of the coffeehouse staff, but they played the violin beautifully in an upbeat piece to rapturous applause. More acts followed, all to varying degrees of talent, but all were met with the same response, effort being rewarded each time.

‘Three more acts then I’m up.’ Luka told her as he poured them both another coffee from the carafe he had bought.

‘I’m looking forward to it.’ She smiled at him, her arms folded on the table.

‘It’s what I was writing this morning when I sent you the message. I didn’t think I’d have it finished on time but,’ he shrugged, ‘you kind of inspired me.’

She blushed and looked down as she bit her lip to stop herself from out and out grinning. ‘I didn’t do anything.’

‘More than you think.’ He replied, leaning closer.

Marinette found herself drawn to him, as though he were a magnet, and her heart raced as they edged closer, Luka’s hand touching her arm gently as he felt her breath fall on his cheek. The room seemed to fall silent, time standing still.

Someone tapped on the microphone hard enough to make it squeal with feedback and the pair separated rapidly, Marinette pressing her finger to her ear at the sudden noise. As one they turned towards the stage and realised why it was suddenly so quiet. Under the spotlight, in the centre of the stage, stood Chat Noir. Marinette groaned loudly and dropped back in her seat, wondering what the hell he was going to do now.

‘Wow, Chat Noir at open mic night? This should be interesting.’ Luka gave her a bright smile that she didn’t return, instead she dropped her head onto her hand and hoped it wouldn’t be too…bad.

Chat didn’t say anything, he didn’t even look over at her, he just nodded to the person manning the sound and the opening chords of a power ballad she recognised from her parents’ collection starting to play, which only made matters worse.

‘Oh, he’s not?’ She muttered through her teeth as she cringed at what was about to come.

‘I gotta take a little time, a little time to think things over.’

‘He is.’ She slid further down in her seat.

‘I better read between the lines, in case I need it when I’m older.’

‘He’s not bad.’ Luka leant over and spoke in her ear and she gave him an alarmed look.

‘He’s awful!’

‘He’s trying.’ Luka shrugged. ‘That’s what matters.’

‘He’s embarrassing himself.’ She mumbled before turning back to where Chat now had his eyes closed, clearly putting his heart and soul into his performance.

‘Now this mountain I must climb, feels like the world upon my shoulders. Through the clouds I see love shine, it keeps me warm as life grows colder. In my life there’s been heartache and pain, I don’t know if I can face it again. Can’t stop now, I’ve travelled so far, to change this lonely life.’

‘Wow, he’s really suffering.’ Luka shook his head as she dropped her head back onto her hand, watching him through her lashes.

‘He will be.’ She said to herself.

‘I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me. I wanna feel what love is, I know you can show me.’

He continued to sing, his voice becoming more confident with every line, and he held everyone’s attention. It wasn’t every day one of Paris’ superhero duo was seen in a casual setting and several people held their phones up, filming and taking photos.

The song finished and Chat stepped down from the stage without a word as the applause began, and simply walked to the door and left.

Luka sighed as he watched him go before turning to Marinette, who was staring into her cup intently. ‘You know,’ he started, ‘whatever else happens, Chat Noir and Ladybug belong together. He loves her, a lot, and I know she loves him, although maybe she doesn’t know it yet. And it would be a shame if she let him get away just because she was on a date with a blue haired musician.’

She looked at him suddenly. ‘You know?’

He shrugged. ‘I see things. And I can see you’re in as much turmoil as Adrien is right now. Go after him.’

‘But…’

‘Go on.’ He smiled. ‘But if your folks ask, I walked you home. I don’t want them mad at me.’

A smile grew on her face and she leant forward, kissing his cheek quickly. ‘Thank you, Luka.’ She grabbed her jacket and left the table, running to the door.

A/N: Tomorrow is the final chat-pter!!!

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous fan fic #MLB #mlb fanfiction #lukanette #adrienette #marichat #idiots in love

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objectsdeconstructed · 5 years ago

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Chapter 1, Tale 1: “The Present"

“What are you doing!? Get your hands off of me, you jerk!” Leafy screamed.

“Leafy, leafy!”, Firey defends himself. “Leafy, I’m sorry for what I did. I realized what I wanted most wasn’t Dream Island, It’s you. Your friendship. I just want you to know that I’m tired of all this turmoil that’s going on, all these conflicts and stuff. And I’d rather spend my time with you, whether It’s on Dream Island or not.”

“Really, you mean it?” Leafy whispered, as they hang glided away.

“Hurry up! We have to get back to the execution!” Golf Ball shouted, from the ground.

But it was too late. The lovebirds were already flying off into the sunshine, to a better life, a better tomorrow.

“THE END”

“Battle For Dream Island.”

“Written by-”

________________________________

The TV is shut off. “What a load a’ bullshit.“ Larson mused. “That was corny as hell.”

“Larson!” Mariette shrieked. “We have children in the room!”

“Ah, don’t worry ‘bout that, Ma’. Lil’ Liam’s been out for 10 minutes already.”

It was true. Liam had fallen asleep in his mother’s lap. It seems that he’s been asleep for a while.

“Cute lil’ fella. Here, let me-” Larson gently lifted up his youngest brother, whispering. “I’ll take ‘im to the bedroom.”

Mariette thanked Larson, and Larson left the room, with Liam in his arms. Seeing this, Susan spoke up. “Wow. Uh… so, any thoughts on that episode?”

John turned to his sister, “I thought it was kinda good. I mean, for a season finale. Wrapped up stuff nicely. Good enough for me.”

“Wait, really?! I thought it was disappointing as heck! Like, seriously! Even for a cartoon that was absurd! Where did all that come from!? The love arc at the end was jarring and out of place!” Susan complained.

“Well, dear, like you said, It’s a cartoon. Don’t think too much about it, dear.” Mariette replied, yawning. “I’m getting kinda tired, though. You kids wanna keep watching TV, go ahead, but remember to clock in early for tomorrow.”

“What? No, mom! It’s not just a cartoon- We’ve been following this show for like, 2 years now, and It-”

“It’s getting a new season in a few months”, John interrupted. “Don’t worry too much ‘bout it. They’ll probably tie up a few loose ends.”

“Yeah, but- Urgh! I can’t wait that long! I need my fix now!”

“Well, what about Inanimate Insanity? That’s still going.”

“But It’s on hiatus!” Susan groaned.

“Well, you’ll have to find another show on your own. There’s literally hundreds. I’m goin’ to bed.” John remarked, before standing up, carrying his empty drink cans, and heading to his room.

“Ugh, fine. Bye, bro.”

“…Also, you should probably go to sleep soon. It’s getting late-”

“Yeah, no.”

Susan flipped through the other channels, searching for something else to watch.

John walked up the stairs, tossed the cans into the trash, and retreated into his bedroom.

John’s bedroom was a mess. But It wasn’t an ugly mess. It was the kind of mess that felt comfy, and warm, and familiar. There was a mattress at one corner of the room, covered in magazines, books, and other reading materials.

Next to the bed was a desk, textbooks, notebooks, pens and pencils strewn everywhere upon it. Upon the desk was also a laptop. This was John’s most prized possession, and it was old.

John booted up the computer, checking to see if anything interesting has been happening recently.

John was pleasantly surprised to see that his posts have gotten some attention. Making a mental note to check out the comments later, he created a new post, trying to, admittedly, capitalize on BFDI’s recent finale.

Since he didn’t really had anything else interesting to say on the matter, John turned his attention over to what his relatively small social circle had to say on recent events. Maybe there’s some drama or something weird happening.

And away, we go…

Click.

Huh.

John had to admit that he was friends with some really peculiar people. Welp, Anna was… being her usual self. Tony was, in John’s opinion, still trying to influence things outside of his control (John found this trait of Tony’s admirable, but mistaken in this situation). Bryan was still raising questions about his sanity (and apparently, his abilities to spell the word “evasion"). The next post was-

Wait.

What the fuck?

That account uploaded a post.

That account never uploads.

Hold on.

As expected, everyone’s going wild in the comments, but that’s not what matters right now. Something is going on. John had to find out what.

John immediately opted out of his social media tab, and opened up another tab, typing in the address of a less-popular, less-friendly website.

Enter.

The web-page loaded. John stretched back, and scrolled down-

The door to John’s room slammed open.

John slammed his laptop down like hell.

“AAAH!”

Liam was standing in the door way. Larson stood behind him, looking extremely sleep-deprived, yet, amused.

Liam inquired, with large eyes, staring up at him. “John? Are you okey?”

Larson glanced at John, who realized that the sight of him holding down his laptop, staring wide-eyed at the door might not have given off the best impression.

Larson chuckled, “Welp! Uh, Liam. I think we walked in at a bad time-”

John shot him a look.

“No! It’s- Sorry, uh, Liam! Bro! What’re you doing here?”

“…I want give you pwesent.” Liam whispered.

“What?” John asked, flatly.

“Present. Liam wants to give you your Birthday present.” Larson motioned at his mouth “Gotta work on that “Arr" sound. Look, we know that you don’t wanna celebrate your B-Day, and haven’t done so for the last few years, but, what the hey! It’s not every day our boy turns 18! I mean, our man turns 18. Wait-”

“Ah! Thanks, Liam! But uh, you didn’t have to!” John said, beaming at Liam.

Liam just looked down.

“Uh- No. Kid! Liam! He means that in a good way. Now, give him the drawing, Liam.” Larson said, reassuringly.

Liam beamed up at John again, shoving a slightly wrinkled drawing in his face.

“It’s a pic of our- our family, and- that’s, um, you. And, um, mom and sis, and me and larson! Um, and that’s our ages, but yours is, um, eighteen! With an explooooosion! Because you turn eighteen! Today!” Liam babbled, pointing at the multi-colored representations on the paper.

“Not sure why I’m wearing a suit.” Larson whispered, grinning.

Frankly, it was one of the finest works of art that John had ever seen, despite the fact that Liam drew his arms on his head.

“Wow! It’s awesome, champ! I-”

John was interrupted by Liam giving a huge hug.

“I love you bro.”

John put his hand on Liam’s back. “…Love you too, Liam.”

Larson was just kinda hanging at the door, absorbing the general awkwardness of the situation. “So! Liam! You wanna hit the hay yet? Because I’m about to give out any second now. So! Hop to it, lil’ buddy.”

Larson clapped his hands together. “Chop chop.”

Liam walked to Larson, and they left together.

John was about to reopen the laptop when Larson popped in again. “Hey, uh, kid-”

“Dude, you gotta stop calling people that. I’m 2 years younger than you now-”

“-Sorry, force of habit. John. Uh, I wanna have a word.”

“Yeah, can you make it quick? I’m kinda tired.”

“Don’t worry, I will. I’m pretty close to collapse myself. So, uh…” Larson clasped his hands together. “Enjoy your life, make the most of it, don’t panic, be careful, don’t hold grudges, be a good man, save up money as soon as possible, word smart not hard, something something eggs in baskets, and uh, don’t take shit from anyone. Oh! and invest in some stuff smartly, watch the stock market closely- And BUY. BITCOINS. Yeah, okay. I think that’s it.” Larson said, extremely quickly.

John blinked.

“…Sorry, what?”

“Life advice, John. That’s life advice. Good night.” Larson yawned, “You can proceed with whatever…” Larson waved his hands “…weird stuff you were doing before. Not gonna judge you, kid.”

“Lars!”

“Right! Not gonna judge you, John. Look, I’m super-”

“What was that?! The life-advice thing!”

“Well, Ah’ don’t really see a point in making that some kinda big deal, so I gave you all I got at once. Don’t expect anymore advice for a while, John. G'night.” Larson was closing the door now.

“…Uh, okay, yeah. Good night, Lars.”

Clank.

Finally. Silence. Privacy. Now-

Bam!

“Lars! For crying out loud-”

“Shit. Sorry ‘bout the door- Happy 18th Birthday, John!”

“Yeah, thanks, bro. Just-”

But Larson had already closed the door.

John waited.

Sensing no one, he opens the laptop again.

#object show #object shows #objects deconstructed

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viollettes · 8 years ago

Text

“Carnations” (Part 1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

many thanks to the effervescent @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! i love you, you colorful tropical fish with scales made of diamonds! x

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

“(Y/N), if you really don’t want to help, you can leave. It’s okay.”

You snap out of your involuntary trance, meeting the peeved eyes of the tall figure in front of you. Your eyelids rapidly close and open before you blankly mutter, “Huh?”

“Since we started setting up, you’ve sighed thirteen times, loudly scuffed your shoe against the floor seven times, and spaced out four times. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you don’t want to do this.”

It takes a lot to annoy actual angel Steve Rogers, but somehow you’ve accomplished just that in only five minutes. Sheepish guilt washes over you, and you quickly insist, “I’m so sorry. But I swear I want to help!”

“Are you sure? You look a little preoccupied, and I can also do this myself if something’s –“

“No, no, I want to help. I promise,” you firmly repeat. You furiously tape the banner to the table’s edges as if to show how determined you are to help. “I didn’t mean to be a drama queen and space out.”

Steve tiredly rubs his palm against his face. “Is everything okay?” he asks. The concern in his voice makes the guilt expand in your lungs, compelling you to cast your eyes downwards.

When faced with a small deficit in the Student Government budget, Steve came up with the carnation sale. Students could order flowers –red for love, pink for friendship, and white for secret admiration– and cabinet members would deliver them to the recipients’ respective dorms.

When Steve ran this idea by you, you played your usual role of pessimist by pointing out no one would cough up money to send a carnation without the pressure that comes from holidays or significant others running high on anticipation. You weren’t surprised to hear that unlike you, the Student Government loved Steve’s idea and approved it right away.

Who could say no to Steve Rogers? There was a reason why the boy won the Student Government President seat by a landslide; he practically reeked of optimism and capability. Hell, Steve could suggest that the college should switch their mascot to a piece of rotten kale, and everyone would love the idea.

You regret agreeing to help him set up. Everything about the carnation sale takes you back to the similar flower fundraisers your high school did. Your breath still gets shallow when you recall being the only person in fourth period that didn’t get a flower delivered to them. The sympathetic or amused looks shot your way only heightened the embarrassment and desire to shrivel up into a particle of nothing. It annoys you that it still affects you in college, but what can you do? The heart holds grudges out of fear and trepidation.

So in a way, Steve is responsible for your slight anxiety. Thanks a lot, Steve.

“(Y/N)?”

This is the fifth time you’ve spaced out. Good going, (Y/N). “Sorry, I got distracted by the thought of lunch,” you fib.

“East Dining Hall has shawarma and baos today. Interesting combo, but I’ll eat just about any – Hey! Bucky! Over here!”

Your heart starts to channel its inner Usain Bolt at the sound of the approaching footfalls. The thumping of rushing blood amplifies in your ears, and your brain ricochets around for an exit strategy. Without thinking, you quickly duck under the folding table.

“’Sup, punk? Ah... (Y/N)? Doll? What are you doing underneath the table?”

And that’s when you realize there isn’t a tablecloth to shield you from your crush, who also happens to be your best friend.

Bucky lowers himself onto a knee, ducking his head underneath the table to meet your eyes. The brilliance of his blue eyes is enough to make you want to fan the heat quelling up your face. You offer him a weak smile. “Oh, uh, I thought I saw a quarter on the floor. Gotta save up that money to pay off my loans, ya know?”

Smooth. So smooth.

If the brunette senses your desire to smack your head against the ground, he doesn’t show any sign of it. Instead, Bucky chuckles and outstretches his hand. “Come on, doll,” he lightly encourages.

You take his hand and push yourself off the ground. He slings an arm around your shoulder, the contact enough to get your heart racing again. You wonder if he knows how much of an effect he has on you.

Completely oblivious to your inner emotional turmoil, Bucky asks, “What’s going on? Looks like you’re setting up for something.”

“If you paid attention to what I told you last week, you’d know that Student Gov is holding a carnation sale,” Steve says. He jokingly sends a threatening look at the brunette. “You’re going to contribute by buying one, right?”

Bucky shrugs, the movement jostling you closer to his side. Your face flushes as it grazes his winged lateral muscles – my God, your best friend is fit. It’s physically impossible to combust into flames, but you sidestep out of Bucky’s hold just in case the laws of physics and biology decide to go rogue. An odd look resting on his face, Bucky’s about to say something to you, but Steve’s waiting gaze deters him. “Um, I don’t know? I guess?”

“What do you mean ‘I guess?’ Remember when you said you’d support all of my actions as President? It’s time to walk the talk, jerk. ”

Bucky holds up his hands in mock-surrender. He glances at you for backup, but you’ve busied yourself by arranging the sample carnations while trying to push down your secret feelings for your best friend. Pretending everything was platonic and peachy makes your stomach twist, but you prefer that stress over risking the friendship and losing Bucky in the process.

Yes, you’re a chicken and will probably take this secret to the grave, but it doesn’t stop you from secretly wishing that one day Bucky will realize you two are meant to be.

Hey, a girl can dream.

“I don’t care if you send it to a buddy as a joke. Just support the cause, man. Hell, I might send a few flowers as a prank.” Much to your amusement, Steve starts to ramble about the pranks Bucky could pull on his roommate Sam through the flower sale.

“You know what…” Bucky’s warm brown gaze falls onto you. His full lips curve into a smile, catalyzing a mild flutter in your chest. Without breaking eye contact with you, he continues, “I think I’ll buy a carnation or two.”

Holy crap, what if Bucky sends you a carnation?

The thought crosses your mind so suddenly that you nearly knock over a cardboard box. The carnation sale brings up a lot of ugly memories, but at the same time, all you want is for Bucky to return your feelings.

Fear of rejection is powerful enough to keep your secret feelings airtight. But what if this is one of those rom-com situations where magical things result from a random action? What if a carnation is the stimulus that catalyzes a romantic relationship? What if -

“(Y/N)?”

Ah shit, you spaced out again. “Yeah, Steve? Do you need something?”

“I was wondering if you could go to the Student Gov office and bring our cash box, but I can –”

Oh no, you need to get out of here before you do something stupid. “No! I’ll go! Do you need anything else from the office?”

“No, we just need a cash box.”

“Got it. I’ll be back!” You dash off, wishing it were possible to outrun your thoughts. Though you know it most likely won’t happen, the slightest inkling of Bucky buying you a carnation drives you insane.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!”

Fuck. Why did he have to follow?

You slow your sprint into a walk, your heart racing again when Bucky casually flops an arm around your shoulder. You hate how uncomfortable you feel around him. Bucky isn’t just a stupid crush – he’s the person you trust your life with. This is the guy who witnessed all of your victories and growing pains, and vice versa. You know practically every detail of his life and all of his quirks that normally would be a turn-off to girls.

God damn it, you have a crush on the guy who went through a phase of only using “Shrek” quotes to communicate with people.

“Alright doll, talk to me.” Bucky pauses until you turn your head onto his direction. “What’s really on your mind?” You let out a strangled murmur, prompting him to gently knock his shoulder into yours. “(Y/N), I’ve known you for my entire life. I know something’s up just by the look on your face. Let me do my best friend duties by listening and help you in any way possible.”

“Nothing’s bothering – Okay, fine,” you begrudgingly admit, his knowing look wearing you down. “Remember what happened at my high school every Valentine’s Day? The flower sale?”

Understanding flashes onto the brunette’s face. The arm around your shoulder grows protectively tighter and his look of concern grows dark. Although he went to a different high school, Bucky knows how much of a hit your self-esteem took after every Valentine’s Day. Hell, how could he not when he was the one who always found you at the park in muffled tears?

“I know it’s probably going to be different,” you continue. “This is college, and Steve added a flower option for friendship, which my high school didn’t do. But…” You angrily fist the hem of your shirt into a ball. “I hate that I’m still affected by something so dumb.”

“It’s not dumb. The people at your high school were shitheads. How they didn’t understand how amazing and brilliant you are is beyond me,” Bucky ferociously counters. “Any decent person would have sent a shitload of flowers your way. I know I would have!”

The fluttering butterflies are momentarily replaced with a wave of warm appreciation for your best friend. You know he’s saying this to make you feel better, but it still succeeds in making you feel better. “Thanks, Bucky,” you noncommittally shrug.

Bucky abruptly halts in his tracks and grabs the sides of your arms, whirling you around so you face him directly. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“What?”

“(Y/N), you...” A sigh escapes his lips in a defeated manner. “If only you could see what I see.”

Words like this ignite the candle of hope in your heart that you have burning for Bucky. Maybe you’ve watched too many rom-com movies, but words like this have a heavier purpose than simply lifting one’s mood.

“Thanks, Buck. That really means a lot to me.”

“Hey,” he grins. “I’ve always got your back. You’re my best friend,” he emphasizes.

And like that, a cold gust blows out the candle of hope, and your shoulders fall with a slump. Of course, he only sees you as a friend. You’re just idiotic enough to jump on a morsel of hope and create an entire fantasy from it.

It bothers you how hurt you feel by this revelation, so you do what you do best – suppress all of the feelings bubbling up your body. You vow to stop being a lovesick puppy and move on from your feelings for Bucky. If it wasn’t going to happen, why bother waste time and dwell?

So imagine your unfiltered surprise when in a week or so, you receive a delivery of a dozen white carnations with a letter “B” signed on the card.

Part 2

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