#i mean 'i'm here to be used'
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Hello hello! end of the story! Watson left us with him freezing deer in headlights style reading of an attack to Holmes. Let's see how things went from then on!
Of course, actions start before brain starts processing. Holmes is hurt (my fault, i shouldn't've pulled that all nighter) i need to know what happe-
Holmes, of course would get home, idiot that he is
CAB! 221B BAKER STREET. NOW. RUN.
Watson must be worrying sick. He deserves a holiday! At least the doc assures no immediate danger. At least. Watson is allowed to see him (and if he wasn't he would've gone in all the same)
H: Don't be scared, Watson, i'm alright W: You are not-who hurt you. I'll murder that man with my bare hands H: My good Watson. Just stay with me? I'll tell you the plan. W: -kissing holmes- You need to rest. -hugging holmes-
Watson is just as scared and ready to murder for Holmes as Holmes is scared and ready to murder for Watson when he's hurt. O love these two. Well, plan's on.
Don't worry, with your help and my makeup cabinet we'll re-create that scene. I'm truly sorry i'm scaring you Watson.
Watson leaves to go give false information and so on, like getting kitty safe, and Holmes of course asks for something to smoke
I will keep granada Watson's answer for this. And then Watson will just return to Holmes asap and not move from there.
Things go on for that and Holmes recovers quite quickly, it would seem and they are of course plotting together or almost together. Holmes has his own plans, apparently. uuuhm
DAMNIT! is that bastard leaving?
Watson. there to be used?
Well, Watson knows to ask no explanation to Holmes and thaqt is far better to ask Mrs Hudson for the first pot of strong black coffee of the 24 hours.
Dr Watson gets back to be a uni student who has an exam and has not studied!
You would know, right, Watson? Bet this man is mistreating his back to study just like he used to do for particularly mnemonic exams in medicine. (I study biotech, i studied more or less this way for anatomy... yes, including drawing sketches to remember stuff better)
24 hours later, he's ready!
Holmes is OUT OF BED, Watson had told him to stay in there , but since he's out he can be teased and get a little kissy. You ready Watson? Very ready, Holmes. Let's go!
Relationship development! Watson CAN act, even if not that well! Now how to approach Gruner? Propose to sell him this!
And Watson makes the clever question, What price? He truly scintillates today! And Holmes has the answer for that since #victoriangenteman he can't put a price himself!
And so Watson get to the study and meets out murderer and
WATSON WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???!! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE BI ABOUT THE SUSPECT!! Jesus, this man.
Shall we go ON? They examine the ceramic and the baron starts being insulting.
AND THEN PROPOSES TO QUIZ WATSON. Watson is understandably furious, bet that itch to thrash the hide off gruner didn't go away and is STRONGER now. Fuckit. Cover jumped.
The baron is just giving Watson an occasion to beat him to a pulp, or he would be wasn't he grabbing a gun WAIT! NOISE!
HOLMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!?? YOU SHOULD BE HOME AND RE- A WOMAN? DAMNIT, THIS BASTARD IS WOUNDED!
Watson IS after all a very good doctor. And so he attends to that bastard of Gruner
Some doctoring Watson because it's always good to remember how clever this man is. Ah and it was Kitty! Good girl! Revenge against such a man. People arrive, including a policeman, of course
But Watson gets away quickly and gets back home where he asks Holmes WHAT THE HELL HE WAS GOING THERE??! Holmes confesses and they exchange info. Holmes got the book! And they give it to Sir James. It all works out (And Watson MIGHT have got the identity of the client, but SHHHH)
The aftermath is a broken engagement, Gruner quite... not at his best and will never be again. Damn, sulfuric acid is BAD. Kitty is unfortunately convicted, but she gets the lowest sentence possible, hoping she'll be out soon! Holmes gets ALMOST arrested for burglary but manages to get out clean (did also Mycroft put a good word?) and dragged by Watson in a nice vacation! To rest and recover!
#letters from watson#victorian husbands#i mean 'i'm here to be used'#sherlock holmes#dr john watson#dr watson#watson doing some doctoring in this letter#holmes being as pale as a ghost#the idiot overexerted himself AGAIN!#Holmes CAN'T fight many opponents at a time too#He's getting cuddled#don't worry about it#jeremy played beaten up holmes very well#also apparently no broken ribs#sure they got bruised toh
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wanted to do my photo project this semester on the notion of mobility aids being extensions of our bodies, the yarn was done by a friend
edit: the shibari comments are one thing but if you put these non-sexual photos of me in my wheelchair on your porn blog i'm blocking you šš»
#inb4 anyone says i'm a prude i literally used to sell pics so ik what i'm about#but that was done on my terms & not anyone else's#and i don't think me unintentionally evoking certain imagery w/ this means i'm 'asking for it.' thanks!#cripple punk#cpunk#photography#doll.self#college stuff#i don't like posting this here but i would also feel weird putting it on any of my other blogs.#1k#5k#10k
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crossing my fingers and wishing upon every star that chapter 10 finally brings us the tweel cards š¤š¤
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#just because of the context and what i'm about to wildly go on about#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#god i wish this turns out to be a spoiler#anyway#i think it's safe to assume at this point that the next story card will be one (or both??? š) of the twins#do i DARE hope#i mean chances are just as good it's gonna be jade wearing a big mushroom costume or something#but you know what i'll take that too#and as long as i'm sitting here at the corkboard for crack theories#i have noticed that vil and jamil's dreams both got their use out of their travel event backgrounds#like tapis rouge HAD to have been specifically timed to come out before vil's chapter so we would have some context for that#and look. we know who's coming up next.#so...is it possible that maybe...coral sea event is finally coming?!#are there fishboys on the horizon?!#i don't want to get my hopes up. but also i very much do#august schedule is gonna come out with two training camps and a master chef rerun and i'm gonna dissolve on the spot
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.
Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.
Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:
What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?
What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?
And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?
Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"
Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."
Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"
It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.
Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.
#It's such a funny situation to imagine as well#Dazai doing the most out of pocket shit and Chuuya being like āIt's okay. I'm here.ā#and everyone else going like: ?????#I'd like for everyone to imagine weird Dazai quirks and how they relate to his true feelings#maybe even take moments from the manga that would be so cool#imagine the out of pocket things he does had just been him processing his feelings this entire time??#and there was no Chuuya to tell us#I mean seeing Dazai roll around with any ADA member would have made that a āhaha quirky Dazai momentā#Instead of. Oh. He's *actually* worried.#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd hcs#bsd headcannons#bsd analysis#J's post#J's writing āš½#Edit: as one tag said I just described autism lmao
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As somebody who has struggled with mental health all of their life and still does, Jinx's romance with Ekko means the world to me.
I'm sick and tired of people considering mentally ill people just "not interested in love" or, on the other side, "not healthy enough to be loved". Which is utterly stupid. Ekko falling for Powder but clearly showing signs of wanting to learn more about Jinx and on his way to love her too, realizing that her damaged past and issues do change her but she's still his girl. It's brilliant writing.
He can't be a savior to her, because there's nothing to save. There's nothing to fix. The whole message Jayce gives with "there's beauty in imperfections" goes hand in hand with Powder's "sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind". Ekko goes from wanting to save her to wanting to see more of her and leaving Powder behind to know about Jinx. With Ekko loving Jinx nevertheless it shows that mentally ill people can be loved. And with Powder reciprocating and Jinx making amends with Ekko (with the romantic context behind already seen) it's breaking the whole stereotype of her being this "insane maniac with no remorse and unable to show love".
So I guess what I want to say is that their relationship would've worked in another universe, but I want to believe it could've worked in this one (with time), too.
#i'm using powder/jinx as a metaphor for better/worse mental health and trauma and how i percieve the character#powder and jinx are the same person and jinx is still her but she's different and we also have to acknowledge that. ekko too#when he's about to call her powder but changes it to jinx i am sobbing here ewjkjfbwejkefbewk#just saying this as someone who genuinely usde to believe they couldn't be loved or even love for who they were and their mental issues#jinx and ekko mean everything to me fr#arcane#timebomb#ekko arcane#jinx arcane
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JIN HUGS JIN HUGS! for @jinstronaut ā”
cr. namuspromised, dwellingsouls, 0613data
#btsgif#dailybts#btsedit#seokjin#bts#bangtan#usersky#usersan#userkelli#usermaggie#raplineuser#usersevn#tuserandi#userpat#userines#*sj#*bangtan#*comp#*gifs#em I have no idea in which timezone you are so I'm just gonna let this post at midnight my time asdgh#HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!!! I hope you'll have theeee bestest of days today my love you deserve it like no one else#I mean you've literally gifted us 500+ jin sets over the past 18 months -#this seems like the smallest thank you in return#you asked if someone could send you jinnie hugs so here I am!!!#if I could I'd fly to korea grab that man under his gigantic shoulders and bring him directly to your doorstep for the biggest bday hug#but for now this little set will have to do!#it gave me so much happiness just look at all the smiles with those big hugs :( and ofc I had to start and end it with jinkook <33#I love you lots emmeline thank you for being an amazing person all the time#you deserve so much appreciation and love and I hope you get showered with just that#not only today but all the time <3
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i noticed a while back that Lyse, Alisaie, and Tataru seemed to be the only characters who say "maybe" regularly (as opposed to "perhaps" or "mayhap"). and a Reddit discussion about dialogue this morning made me go overboard again.
uhhhhh do with this information what you will?
if anyone has requests for other characters or other words; i can easily come up with their numbers too! (or you can grab the regex firefox extension i use here)
specifically, the Reddit post i saw was about how XIV's dialogue (or at least the English localization) has gotten simpler and blander over time ā not just in Dawntrail, not just as part of the overall Dawntrail hate, but as early as Shadowbringers.
it's not something i've thought about a whole lot to have a strong opinion on tbh. but it did make me remember this thought about "maybe" i'd had in the past, and i wanted to crunch the numbers to see if i could learn anything. and my footnotes at the end are my notes to that effect.
Alphinaud, G'raha, and Estinien starting to use maybe could be a case study in XIV's dialogue becoming blander. or it could be a way of showing that they've become more relaxed as people, and more comfortable within the party. either way, i just thought tumblr might like this info!
#ff#ffxiv#dt#xiv script#to clarifyā alphinaud uses maybe for the first time in 5.55; i don't mean he stops using the other two#estinien's line isn't in here because it's optional dialogue and i haven't gotten to the optional dialogue for hw yet!!!!!!!#i know it exists but it's not included because if i'm not including anyone else's optional lines then that would be statistical misconduct#there's probably a real term for that i can't think of rn
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arthur is rude to that one sex worker because the guys are fucking around as they oughtn't be and he actively wants the source of their distraction to go away. that is how he operates through the entire game: deliberate, utilitarian intimidation and strategic unpleasantness to achieve a goal. it is an early game commentary on arthur meant to position him as a big dog that barks. it is not a commentary on his views about women which are clarified many times afterward. you guys realize that right
#arthur morgan#rdr2#redmeta#this is one of the most wildly misinterpreted but also most obvious scenes where writers are teaching us how arthur moves through the world#i really don't mean to seem short here#i am just exhausted of reddit mentality low literacy āARTHUR WOULD SHOOT U IN THE FACE FOR FUN HE HATES WOMEN AND SLUTSā takes#my mistake was imagining a world where your average man online could intellectualize about narrative art#unless it is spoonfed to them on a shotty slug that says I'M STRAIGHT BUT I'D LET [MASC CHARACTER] FUCK ME
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Made adjustments with an older winter connverse because sometimes I like to revel on what improvement I had by 'correcting' my earlier stuff. Lol
#I don't know why I used to mostly make the top part of the head so narrow but I'm super glad I realized that. I mean I have an idea why.#I'm still miffed about that tree on Steven's side. I drew that using a real life picture of a snowed pine tree as reference...#took a longer bit finishing it too#while the one on Connie's side is a quick generic winter pine tree... And the latter looks so much better than the other one! š#I didn't bother drawing over that tree though#Steven's face was also adjusted a bit so if you squint you'll notice there's a difference in the way they were rendered#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Universe#SU#winter#my shiz#Bruh. It's suddenly hot over here. It's like. December already! Is there going to be another typhoon?#I can't remember what I was going for with Connie's coat tbh. Lmao
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(Silence. CARPENTER tries to rally HAYWARD's spirits. She's afraid she's going to lose him.)
"All three of us - we can all go on living, Hayward. Just like you said."
#the silt verses#tsv#sister carpenter#carpenter#james hayward#audio drama#horror podcast#artists on tumblr#listen all my tsv drawings so far have been vibes based so pls ignore the inconsistencies on here alfkdsj#namely: i know carpenter uses a rifle (opted against it visually)#and then i spent like half an hour looking at iv diagrams and idk how medical care is on a plane but. listen. I'm ignoring all that#let alone with a patient you were forced to heal after being held hostage LOL#(not putting hayward in a hospital gown for the finale. i'm not. so he gets his bloodied clothes)#anyway i (notoriously slow artist) rushed to get this out before the finale#they mean so much to me!!#(faulkner voice) jeez hayward how come you get to have a good relationship with paige AND carpenter in the final season#also if you follow my main the small detail of carpenter not letting go of hayward's hands in the beginning-#was my load bearing emotional support bit of the episode you know I had to include it#the way i spent forever trying to get carpenter's expression right only to last minute decide NOT to cover it up alfsdjk#id in alt text#pls lmk if there's anything in the description i should change!#i try to keep it short but I know I ramble#tw blood#tw eye strain
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I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.
#personal#delete later#no patrick. āblack washingā is not as harmful as white washing.#come on guys get it together#seeing people in my reblogs talk about āreverse racismā and double standards is genuinely hypocrisy#say it with me: white washing is intrinsically tied to a historical and systematic erasure of poc figures literature and history.#it is an inherently destructive act that deplatforms underrepresented faces and voices#in favor of a light-skinned aesthetic hegemony#redesigning characters as poc is an act of dismantling symbols of whiteness in fiction in favor of diversification and reclamation#(note that i am talking about individual acts by individual artists as was the topic of this discourse. not on an industry-scale)#redesigning characters as poc is not tied to hundreds of years of systemic racism and abuse and power dynamics. that is a fact.#you are not replacing an underrepresented person with an oft-represented person. it is the opposite#if you feel threatened or upset or uncomfortable about this then sorry but you are not aware of how much more worse it is for poc#if representation is unequal then these acts cannot be equivalent. you can't point to an imbalanced scale and say they weigh the same#if you recognize that bipoc people are minorities then you should recognize that these two things are not the same#while i agree that āblack washingā can lead to color-blind casting and writing the behavior here is on an individual level#a black artist drawing their favorite anime character as black because they feel a shared solidarity is not a threat to you#i mean. most anime characters are east asian and i as an east asian person certainly don't feel threatened or erased. neither should you.#there's much to be said about the politics of blackwashing (i don't even know if that's the right word for it)#but point standing. whitewashing is an inherently more destructive act. both through its history of maintaining power dynamics#and the simple fact that it's taking away from groups of people who have less to begin with#if you feel upset or uncomfortable about a fictional white character being redesigned as poc by an artist on twitter#i sincerely hope you're able to explore these feelings and find avenues to empathizing with poc who have had their figures#(both real and fictional) erased; buried; and replaced by white figures for hundreds of years#i sincerely hope you can understand the difference in motivations and connotations behind whitewashing and blackwashing#classic bixels āi'm not talking about this chat. i'm notā (puts my media studies major to use in the tags and talks the fuck outta it)
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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023
#apollo don't fucking touch this one#serious post#not a shitpost#hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day#fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists#i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown#at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal#i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid#like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies#and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line#probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored#luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry#while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent#also eggs are $15
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OMG EGO HAVE YOU SEEN THE BOOK 7 CATER CARD YET
80s britpunk Cater is such an incredible direction to take. his Sid Vicious jacket! his little british police cap! I wouldn't have anticipated that going full-on Sex Pistols would be his alternate self but it is SO fitting actually. š
(also th-the crown symbol?! the gavel?! is housewarden Cater real because I will TRANSCEND --)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#oh so we're just getting the heartsboys immediately huh#I AM NOT COMPLAINING NO SIR#god though. i haven't recovered from leona yet and already they're throwing this at us#c8ter the sk8ter boi#cannot express how much british punk cater is such a chef's-kiss concept though š¤š¤š¤#like. okay. i'm gonna get into some personal character interpretation here so disclaimer that these are just my own ~opinions~ etc#but i read cater as being not so much secretly angsty as like...secretly just kinda jaded?#like i think him being pretty upbeat and cheery in general is genuine (or at least mostly genuine)#but he's also very aware of how people see him and he plays into that#like his personality isn't FAKE but he's definitely playing parts of it up#and trying to maintain a certain image that he thinks is expected of him#so expressing that as 'he's a punk undercover as a prep' is actually kinda perfect in my mind#i mean i could be entirely missing the mark here and we'll get something totally different#(in like. a couple of weeks or so. what the HECK twst)#buuuuut yeah punk cater is such a great concept to me and i am very excited to meet him!!!!#oh also hi tamashina-mina deuce you're here too i guess#alas we have run out of time so we'll have to catch up later
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A thought Iāve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo ānormā) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.
This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was āmade up on the internetā and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.
But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was āmade up on the internet.ā To be very clear, Iām not agreeing with the exclusionists hereāIām aromantic myself. What Iām asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?
I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.
There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems arenāt any more or less ātrueā than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.
I guess what Iām saying is, and please bear with me here, āgayā people have not always existed. āNonbinaryā people have not always existed. āAsexualā people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didnāt prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and thatās okay. In another hundred or thousand years weāll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and thatāll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.
We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we donāt need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.
#stars has thoughts#i'm not letting the exclusionists have this one#'it was coined on the internet' 'it was only coined a few (read: in the case of aromanticism almost 20) years ago' true. so what?#that doesn't make it less real#i hope what i'm getting at comes across here#(and that it doesn't sound like im trying to invalidate all LGBTQ+ labels lol. i'm trying so hard to not do that)#labels are social technologies. if they are useful here and now then they are useful#we are using technologies that are new and innovative and useful to us in this time and place#in other times and places they have not always been and will not always be useful#but that's true of any technology. doesn't mean we don't get to use them now#queer#aspec stuff#aro thoughts
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all i can think about is bucky literally BEGGING to eat your pussy. just on his knees, calling himself a needy slut, just looking up at you with puppy dog eyes while he just begs for your pussy on his mouth. ugh.
Men who are this into eating pussy have a special place reserved for them in Heaven. Hearing someone beg to go down on you is life changing when they know what they're doing š
But you're so right, Bucky would be so willing to degrade himself like that just to be allowed to go down on you. He'd be on his knees, trying to ignore how full his balls feel, begging for you.
"P-please." His voice is so quiet you almost start to question if he said it intentionally. "I need to taste you. I can't think about anything else."
His cock twitches despite how heavy it looks, flushed and angry against the pale skin of his thighs.
"Really?" You tease, tilting his chin up with two fingers so he's looking at your face, rather than your body. "Tell me exactly what you're thinking. Describe it to me"
He doesn't miss a beat. "I'm thinking about how soft you are, how warm and silky your cunt feels under my tongue. I'm thinking about burying my tongue as deep inside you as I can reach and still wishing I could get deeper. I want to feel how wet you are but more than anything, I want to taste how wet you are. I want to dream about it for the rest of the week. Every time I stroke my cock I want to be able to remember how you taste."
Precum drips from his tip and you're not sure you can deny him much longer. Not when he's making it sound so appealing.
"Do you even hear yourself?" You do your very best to act like you don't love the sound of every word that has just come out of his mouth.
"I do. I sound like a shameless, filthy, desperate slut. The type of slut who wants to kiss and lick and worship your sweet pussy until you're so sensitive you have to force me to stop." His hand wanders between his own legs, tugging his stiff length to the mere thought.
He's not above begging and you know that. He'll draw this out as long as he needs to until he gets his way but there's very little sense in that when you want this just as much as he does.
"Lie on the bed." You give him time to make his way over before following, lining yourself up just above his face.
You take a second to smooth his hair, enjoying the feeling of his freshly shaved face against the sensitive insides of your thighs.
He's looking up at you, your eyes meeting his. "Thank you." The relief in his voice is clear right before he grasps your hips and pulls you down onto his mouth.
Fuck, he's incredible. This is the mouth you dream about when you're alone. His tongue massages your clit, stroking back and forth before dipping into your fluttering entrance. You swear he must feel what he's doing to you. You feel your cunt clenching and rippling, your muscles contracting in response to the pleasure and for a second you wonder if he can tell.
He's hungry for this; he has been for hours. He's moaning and slurping obscenely, his tongue buried in your cunt. You don't even need to look over your shoulder to know that he's alternating between fucking his own fist and gripping the base of his shaft tight enough to stop him from spilling his release all over himself too soon.
It's very hard to tell which of you enjoys this more.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#needy!bucky#bucky barnes x reader smut#sub!bucky#bucky barnes smut#subby!bucky#this should technically belong to the shs series#but it fit this prompt too well so I'm using it here#I make the rules š#but that 'thank you' nearly killed me#I've noticed this week that my beige flag is that I get so frustrated when people make assumptions about my capacity#I hate when people say stuff like 'how's the new job? you must be really stressed'#or worse 'things must be getting on top of you'#like ???#why would you assume I can't handle what I put on my own plate?#I know people mean well but it really bothers me
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