#i may or may not be in the process of making a new one

[bitchface24-7]

Can you do Jayce and Viktor finding out that one of them got reader pregnant (Viktor thinks there’s no way he could got reader pregnant because of sickness) but when the baby is born they look just like Viktor?

OOPS… - JAYVIK X READER

synopsis: y’all fucked up, literally and figuratively. You’re pregnant. You didn’t plan for this, even though you should’ve; y’all fuck like rabbits. But now you’re at the end of your pregnancy, you can’t help but wonder which one of your partners knocked you up.

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, changes in appetite/appearance, weird cravings, giving birth (not detailed), pre-established relationship (YALL ARE MARRIED) Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/m/f

p.s. cute and funny request… may I pray this never finds me. I'd probably only get pregnant for them and they're not real. To any reader who's experienced this and or has kids, you're a trooper and I salute you, cause fuck that!

The three of you had an accident you can't help but think as you look at a positive pregnancy test. Most babies are oopsie babies, you comfort yourself.

You never planned for this, this was never in your equation. But you feel a small sense of fondness, its proof of your love; your boys.

You wish somehow this baby was both of theirs. They could have Viktor’s eyes, Jayce's nose, your smile. They'd be perfect. But that's impossible, so only of your lovers knocked you up.

You wonder who did it.

Oh well… now you gotta break the news to them first. Then you can speculate who fertilized one of your eggs.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Essentially ten months pass by in a flash. Your stomach gets bigger and bigger, your back and feet ache, you can’t stop throwing up the first trimester, your cravings are wild and your boys get you whatever you want no matter the time. Even if it’s dead at night.

Everything was normal that day until your water broke. You three rushed to the hospital and got set up in a delivery room. Jayce and Viktor are nervous, pacing, and worriedly looking at you. Giving birth can be incredibly dangerous, and they don’t want to lose you.

They’re by your side the whole time, holding your hand, putting a cold towel on your head, motivating you. They made the process as easy as they could. The three of you even joke around.

“I can’t wait to see which one of you knocked me up.”

Jayce and Viktor choke a bit before laughing, “It could be either of us honestly. We’re kinda like rabbits.”

“Jayce!”

“What?”

“It’s probably Jayce’s. I can’t imagine my illness makes it good for my own fertility.” Viktor adds quietly. His tone low and a bit melancholic. You and Jayce look at him and deny his statement. “You don’t know that! Have you been gotten tested or is it an assumption?”

“Assumption.”

Then you scream, and your boys panic pressing the call button on the side of your bed. Two nurses rush in and ask to check your dilation, you agree.

One nurse checks, then the other nurse. One states you’re fully dilated and the other rushes to call for the doctor.

Now it’s time to deal with one of the most painful moments of your life.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You’re panting, your entire body hurts, and you think you may have broken Jayce’s hand. It’s all worth it when you hear your baby cry.

“It’s a healthy boy! Congratulations!” A nurse says as she lightly cleans your baby, making sure not to let the fluid from birth stay on his skin for too long; we don’t want him to become hypothermic.

She hands your baby to you and his cries immediately cease. He looks up to you and you gasp lightly. He’s Viktor’s. He’s 100000000% Viktor’s.

They’re identical.

You tear up lightly and sniffle. It’s like looking into a tiny mirror of your partner. Same eyes, even though babies are typically born with blue eyes; your baby has Viktor’s golden eyes. Same eyebrow shape, same nose, same lips. They even share the same beauty mark by their eye.

You laugh a bit and your boys look over to your tiny boy. Jayce’s eyes widen as he chuckles, and pats Viktor on his shoulder. Viktor just stands there speechless.

“I carried you for essentially ten months and you come out looking just like your daddy? You’re perfect!” You coo at your baby, your baby coos back at you and you have to hold back a squeal.

“You can’t have kids, huh?” Jayce jokes and Viktor grumbles. Viktor’s demeanour isn’t very scary due to his beaming smile as he looks down at his baby. Your baby. Jayce’s baby.

“So, what’re we naming him?”

You blank for a second. Shit, you didn’t think of that. Oops.

“I never planned on having kids, so I never planned any names.”

Viktor looks blankly at you, “Me neither.”

The two of you look at Jayce. He shrugs lightly, “I didn’t expect to have kids but I did come up with names when I was younger. I always liked James for a boy, and Rose for a girl.”

“You romantic. Rose, really?”

“At least I thought of names, leave me alone Viktor.”

You giggle at them, “James it is. James Talis. It does sound nice huh?”

Viktor and Jayce stop bickering and look at you with hearts in their eyes. Oh, it’s official. You’re now four.

Welcome to the world, James Talis. You’re already loved more than you could ever imagine.

The only men I’d give birth for. Hope y’all liked this!! Love ya ❤️

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Malleus Draconia - New Year's Attire Vignette

"I should just pull this cord out once, correct?"

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

[Malleus casts spells]

Malleus: Now then, I've used my magic to organize the shelves. What should I do next…?

Ignihyde Student A: Ooh. This laptop's pretty cheap. Though, I can't check how it'd operate, since it's got no power.

Ignihyde Student B: Apparently if you ask one of the guys working here, they'll power it up for you, so we should ask someone. Let's see if there's anyone free…

Malleus: Yes? Is there something I can do for you?

Ignihyde Student A: Eek... I just made eye contact with Malleus Draconia...! U-UH, NO, SIR! I WILL ASK SOMEONE ELSE!

Malleus: The others are currently busy with their own duties. I can assist you if there is something in the store you need.

Ignihyde Student B: Uhh… R-Right then, so… Could I get this computer booted up for a sec… Pretty please?

Malleus: This mechanical box, is it? …If I recall, the others would simply press this button here to turn it on.

[click]

Malleus: It isn't working. When this happens, I should pull this cord out once, correct? That is what Lilia once taught me.

Ignihyde Student A: Eh, you're going to completely unplug it!? But isn't it still in the process of starting up…?

[snap!! crackle, crackle!]

Ignihyde Student B: Eek! It sparked! That was a pretty strong yank…

Malleus: Alright. Now I simply have to do the same thing once more.

[click…THUD!!!]

[the power goes out]

Malleus: Hm? All the lights in the store seem to have turned off.

Sam: It's a power outage! I'll go check on the breakers, so I need all you little imps to stay right where you are for safety!

Heartslabyul Student A: It's so dark I can't see anything…! What's going on!?

Pomefiore Student A: I totally saw some sparks a second ago! Malleus Draconia must have done something! We need to run for our lives!!

Malleus: Wait. Sam said to stay right where you are.

Malleus: I warn each and every one of you… I will not allow anyone to take one step out of this store.

Students: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

[everyone runs way]

Floyd: Ahah. I can't believe you caused a power outage, Sea Slug-senpai. That cracks me up.

Malleus: I simply was attempting to turn on that mechanical box.

Sam: It seems you pulled out the plug while it was still one, didn't you, my little horned imp?

Sam: Because of that the plug shorted out, and when you plugged it back in, it tripped the breaker.

Sam: In a nutshell… That's what caused the store's lights to go out.

Jamil: At least the laptop is fine, and the power's restored once the breaker was flipped.

Jamil: But… Now we have another problem on our hands.

[cricket, cricket...]

Jack: Looks like it. The power's back on, but all the customers that left haven't come back in.

Floyd: Ain't it just 'cause Sea Slug-senpai scared 'em all off?

Malleus: I scared them? Perhaps I may have been the cause of the power outage, but all I did after that was caution those who would go against Sam's instructions.

Jamil: Well, that's… I mean, if they heard your voice echoing in the darkness like that… You know…

Sam: Now, now. I know none of this was done with any malicious intent.

Sam: But we're a business, after all. We can't lose customers and lose sales, now can we? There needs to be some kind of penalty.

Sam: So, I'll just deduct points from your total score towards the special bonus.

Jamil: A point deduction because we caused a decrease in customers, hm. Now that's a serious blow.

Malleus: …I neither intend to lose this competition, nor do I wish to be held in disdain.

Malleus: Whatever the outcome, I must take responsibility for my actions.

Malleus: I shall see our customers returned, and our sales up once more.

Sam: Oh? You're talking a big game there. I see that glint in your eyes… I can tell you mean it.

Sam: Nyeheehee! Alright then, I'll give you a change.

Sam: If you can make more sales today than you did yesterday before we close, then I'll waive everything that happened earlier! How's that?

Malleus: I understand. I shall see it done.

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Malleus: My apologies. I seem to have been a burden, Viper.

Jamil: Please, no need to say that. If anyone from Diasomnia learned that I had you apologizing to me, I'd never hear the end of it!

Jamil: However, will it even be possible to increase sales to more than we earned yesterday in the time we have remaining today…?

Malleus: We only need to draw back in the customers that left. Wait here.

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

[Heartslabyul students chatter]

Malleus: Ah, perfect, there are some humans milling about. You all there, have you purchased what you need from the New Year's Sale?

Malleus: Now is your chance to peruse our wares at your leisure. You would do well to come in.

Heartslabyul Student B: ACK… IT'S MALLEUS DRACONIA!

Heartslabyul Student C: I heard a rumor… His magic brought down a streak of lightning crashing down into the store and it knocked out all the lights!

Malleus: What?

Heartslabyul Student B: I-I even heard that he tried to forcefully drag customers back into the dark shop… I'm too scared!

Students: R-RUN AWAY―――!!

[they run away]

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Malleus: I don't recall that happening whatsoever.

Jamil: It seems the incident has been embellished beyond reason.

Jamil: Perhaps we need to do something to reverse this frightening impression you've seem to have left on people.

Jamil: For example, what if we were to fix how you interact with customers? That is… Maybe try to be a bit less stiff…

Jack: I just saw a bunch of guys in front of the shop that looked like they had all the blood drained from their face… Oh, I see, it was just Malleus-senpai.

Floyd: Oh, right, just Malleus-senpai.

Malleus: What do you mean, "oh"? What are you implying?

Jack: Nothing, just thought they looked real put out.

Malleus: What is that supposed to mean? Certainly, the power outage from before may have caused some sort of misunderstanding…

Malleus: However, I've never received a single complaint on how I interact with customers.

Floyd: I mean, isn't that just 'cause you just bein' there puts immense pressure on 'em?

Malleus: I've only ever treated them as I would anyone else…

Sam: Oh me, oh my, it looks like we only have our staff inside the store. How about we try to bring some customers in?

Malleus: You're right. Allow me.

Jamil: YOU CAN STAY RIGHT HERE, MALLEUS-SENPAI!

Jack: Sam-san, you're carrying something pretty big there. Is that some new product?

Sam: Oh, this? Another shop sent it to me out of the blue.

Malleus: Hm, it has a bright red face and some magnificent golden teeth. And these… aren't horns, but ears, yes? What a curious creature.

Jamil: What kind of beast is this creature supposed to resemble? It sort of resembles a lion.

Sam: You're right! This big guy is a ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ, a legendary beast from the east that resembles a lion.

Sam: It is a talisman that brings good fortune during the New Year's over there. It may give the impression of being an unapproachable creature…

Sam: But these guys'll show up at New Year festivals and go around blessing people with luck in the coming year by chomping on their heads!

Jack: Eh? Are those people alright after getting their heads bit!?

Sam: Oh, oops, I didn't mean for you to misunderstand. It's merely a play bite, they're not really harming them.

Sam: We have these set up at the entrance to the eastern branch of our shop, so another shop tried to also put them out.

Sam: But it seems many customers find how they look scary. These got shipped over to us, to see if there was something we can do with them.

Malleus: I see. Although it is a creature specifically for ringing in the new year, people are frightened and avoid it…

Malleus: …Sam, I will be borrowing this ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ for a moment. I shall use my magic to puppeteer it and bring customers back in.

Floyd: What, the guy everyone's scared of is gonna use a bit of decoration that everyone's also scared of to try and bring people in? Ain't that gonna just scare 'em off even more?

Malleus: A talisman from a far-off land should pique their curiosity.

Malleus: It will be enough if I simply use my magic to manipulate it to move as if it were alive, to garner the people's eye.

Malleus: I will test how it moves. I shall leave my post for a moment, I leave you all to take of things.

Jamil: Uh… Malleus-senpai?

[Courtyard]

Malleus: Hm… I consulted some eastern resources… Is this how it should be moving?

Jamil: Ah, I thought you'd be here.

Malleus: Viper. How did you know where to find me?

Jamil: I assumed that you'd be in a pretty open space if you were going to try to maneuver something that big.

Jamil: Is there anything I may help you with?

Jamil: It's not like there's any use sticking around the shop when business is slow, after all…

Jamil: I can't just stand around while our team's special bonus and the shop's profit are in jeopardy.

Malleus: Then, perhaps you could provide me your opinions on how the ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ should move.

Malleus: I've no trouble manipulating it with my magic, yes…

Malleus: However, I require a solution in order for it to move smooth enough to draw in customers.

Jamil: I understand. Then, I will observe your movements and support you to the best of my abilities.

[Courtyard]

[ZOOM!!]

Malleus: How did that movement seem?

Jamil: It was so fast I couldn't see anything!

Jamil: It may be a legendary beast, but I can't imagine it would move that fast… I think it would be better for it to move slower.

Malleus: I thought perhaps that would give it more life… Then, I suppose this time I will attempt to move it more serenely.

Malleus: I should tilt and turn its head slowly… Have it dance in the heavens as if rising from the earth…

[GRAH!!]

Jamil: …!? What was that move just now…!?

Malleus: Oh, did it seem alive?

Jamil: No, not at all.

Jamil: It was just moving in an unnatural way for a real, living creature… So I imagined a terrifying monster instead.

Malleus: Terrifying? Well, that would just cause the people to flee even more.

Malleus: It seems there is still much room for improvement. I'll focus on how the joints move next. Let's see, now…

Malleus: …This was a failure as well. Moving it with my magic may be simple enough, and yet it is attempting to give it life that is eluding me.

Malleus: What must I do to have it move with an elegance that will draw the humans back in?

Jamil: …......

Malleus: What is it, Viper? You've been silent for some while now. Have you exhausted yourself?

Jamil: Ah, no…

Jamil: I just couldn't get out of my head how terrifying the ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ was as it moved.

Jamil: It almost seemed as though it could swallow us whole… It left a pretty big impact on me.

Malleus: So, you say it left an unforgettable impression on you?

Malleus: Hm…

Jamil: What's wrong? Is something the matter?

Malleus: I've just had a good idea… I think I know what would attract the people.

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

A few hours later―

Scarabia Student A: I want to go see the sales at the Mystery Shop…

Students: BUT MALLEUS DRACONIA'S TOO SCARY!!

Scarabia Student A: Is it true that he got mad during his shift and fired down lightning bolts? Maybe we should just go home…

Savanaclaw Student A: Hey, something is coming.

[rustle, rustle, ROOOAR!!]   

Savanaclaw Student A: Ack, what's that monster!? There's a huge lion-lookin' thing floating in the air.

Scarabia Student A: It's creepy with how it's wiggling like that… Why's there a terrifying monster like that on campus?

[drifts away]

Savanaclaw Student A: Oh, it's going back towards the Mystery Shop.

Students: …

Scarabia Student A: That was scary, but… Why do I feel like checking it out?

Savanaclaw Student A: I totally get you! I'd never seen anything like that…

Savanaclaw Student A: …Let's go after it!

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Scarabia Student A: Huh? It's pitch black in here… Where'd that thing from earlier go?

Malleus: Welcome.

Savanaclaw Student A: AAAAH, IT'S MALLEUS DRACONIA!!

Malleus: You've come for this, have you not? Heh, I am not surprised it piqued your curiosity.

Malleus: This is called a ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ, and it is considered a talisman of good fortune in the east.

Savanaclaw Student A: A talisman? So, basically, you're saying…

Malleus: That's correct, I am making it move with my magic.

[GWAK!]

Savanaclaw Student A: The  just raised its head up high and gave a howl before dancing in the air again! It's really got spirit…!

Pomefiore Student B: Seeing a strange unearthly creature next to Draconia like this… It gives me chills.

Pomefiore Student C: I-It's scary… Just lookin' at it feels overwhelming.

Students: BUT… I CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT. I JUST KEEP GETTING SUCKED IN…!

Sam: Ｆｌｙ! You did good, my horned imp!

Sam: We've got twice the number of customers and profits from before the slump. I was worried there for a moment, but it looks like it was a blessing in disguise!

Jamil: Right now, there is a sight that cannot be witnessed anywhere else…

Jamil: Once that rumor got out, it became a grand success that's packed this shop full of customers.

Floyd: Looks like even the miniature ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ are all gettin' sold, too. These morons're too easy.

Malleus: I simply took Viper's advice and suggested we sell them. He said that for occasions such as these, a memento would be highly sought after.

Jamil: To be perfectly honestly, I didn't actually think they'd sell this well. All this must be due to Malleus-senpai's influence.

Malleus: My influence, hm. Well, I do admit that I thought long and hard about that because of this incident.

Jack: Hm? What does that mean?

Malleus: Viper said that the way the ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ moved was unforgettable and terrifying…

Malleus: So I thought to myself. Why is the ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ considered a legendary beast, although it is feared by many?

Malleus: When humans fear something, it means that they are in awe of its power.

Malleus: Whether they are frightened or entranced by it, there is a fine line between fear and reverence.

Malleus: Thus, wouldn't it make sense drawing out the feelings of reverence from the thing that evokes fear, and gain the attention of those people?

Sam: I see… Did you come up with that because of what you experienced?

Sam: I'd expect nothing less from you, my horned imp. I'm sure the ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ are also happy to have their moment in the spotlight, as well.

Sam: Just as I promised, I'll consider that slump earlier completely forgotten. If anything else, I'll consider it bonus points towards your special bonus!

[knock, knock, knock]

Diasomnia Student A: Um! Do you guys still have some of those mini ＳＨＩＳＨＩＭＡＩ for sale!?

Octavinelle Student A: I hear that if we buy that, we'd gain awesome magical power just like Malleus Draconia. I absolutely need one!

Sam: Oh, my. They're still coming, even though we're supposed to be closed… Tomorrow may be just as busy as today, at this rate.

Jamil: Malleus-senpai, looks like you were a hit. …Although, I feel like their reactions are still kind of self-centered.

Malleus: I'm paying it no mind. I consider the work I have done here to simply be another experience that dots my brief time as a student here.

Malleus: I want to be able to enjoy myself until the very end. I shall overlook any minor issues.

Sam: You said it. Keep those vibes going all the way 'til the last day for me.

Malleus: Naturally. You may leave it to me.

Malleus: I shall use my awe-inspiring power that toes the line of fear to continue to bring in even more customers.

Requested by Anonymous.

[vaguely-concerned]

to be distressingly earnest for a moment, I cannot applaud sylvia feketekuty enough for how incredibly well she balances comedy and actual emotional impact in emmrich's storyline. it's such a fine line to walk as a writer, and she does it perfectly to my mind. johanna hezenkoss is a wonderfully cartoonish heightened comedy character whose literal stated goal is world domination by means of necromancy and also this giant skeleton mecha monster I built. her main redeeming quality is that she's SO entertaining and perfectly unrepentantly herself at every turn and never ever does she grow anything we might readily recognize as a conscience; she may be a monster but in such a marvellous way you simply cannot begrudge her for it. we are going full tilt into the yzma zone here and never looking back. and yet! emmrich's reactions to her, and the lingering emotional fallout of their friendship ending clinging to everything, are very real and grounded and genuine, and her functionality in the narrative rock solid. it's still funny the whole way through, but also weirdly poignant.

she is a blunt archetype, but her presence causes nuance in other places. it tests emmrich's inherent kindness to show some of the flaws running through it. it shows quirks in his character you couldn't get at otherwise, exposes what the lines of temptation can get their hooks in him even in all his genuine basic well-meaningness way before the lich storyline gets fully unveiled -- that there is something in him that was drawn to her ambition and unceasing intellectual exploration of the world, even when it edged up on ruthless; that it was only when the line was openly crossed he put his foot down for good. it exposes the darker side of nevarra's political life, especially the mortalitasi -- that it would only take a handful of them forsaking their oaths and morals and deciding that ruling from behind the throne isn't enough. in the words of emmrich, how easily it would make them a new tevinter, except with a skeleton army so arguably much more metal. the slope is slippery. watch where you put your feet, watcher.

and johanna's cheerful and unrepentant spider verse doc ock supervillain antics are emblematic of the way that aside from anything else, this storyline is also -- and I must return to it once more, one cannot emphasize this enough -- so so SO entertaining about it along the way. it sets the tone in that it's campy and over the top and hilarious... a levity you really do need to bring to emmrich's arc, revolving as it does around *checks notes scribbled on hand* ah. the desperate crippling all-consuming terror of death. like um. yes. you need some liberal spoonfuls of comedic relief to make that particular theme palatable enough to get through and process, and providing that feels like both a very kind, a very intelligent, and very wise thing to do as a writer. and also ties in so perfectly with the whole thematic structure and conclusion -- the message that perhaps you will always be afraid of this thing. maybe that fear of cessation, of irretrievable loss, will be with you forever. but there is kindness and connection and fascinating things to discover in this world to make it bearable. it's all very elegantly done and I admire it deeply on a craft level as much as I appreciate getting to engage with it as a player. a masterful balancing act of tone. thank you for coming to my ted talk and goodbye

[inspired-lesson-plans]

Revisited and Revised

Science, Middle School, Lab activity, Physical properties, Making observations

Prep:

Cover a lab bench with painters plastic, destined to be disposed of. Place toothpaste and petroleum jelly on it, with small containers for each to be kept separate and a third, disposable container in which to mix them (with ample supply of stirring sticks).

Bring in objects such as wood, tile, brick, coins, and cardboard. The point is to supply objects of different textures and porosity with which to test the properties of the admixture.

Do Now:

Perform the following in your Lab Journal.

Draw a Venn Diagram of the physical properties of Petroleum Jelly (Vaseline) and Toothpaste. You may draw upon your prior knowledge and also reference the two substances in display at the lab bench. Do not mix them (yet)!

Class Discussion: 

Students share their observations of the properties of each substance, and teacher writes exemplars using academic language such as "adhesive", "cohesive", and "viscous" into a Venn diagram on the board. Once full, the teacher asks students to make predictions about what properties a mixture of both substances would possess, then write them in their Lab Journals. 

Guided Learning: 

Select one student to perpetrate the creation of @inoppositionflorien's Lovecraftian admixture. I suggest asking for volunteers and rolling a die to select one at random, or else follow your own routines.

Dress the volunteer in a full lab coat, gloves, hair tied back and covered, and goggles. Get a picture if possible, as memorabilia. This is a good photo op activity.

Instruct the volunteer to mix 2:1 PJ-TP utilizing volumetric measuring tools (i.e. spoons), then test its application to various surfaces. The remaining students record observations in their Lab Journals.

Students repeat the process with 1:1 and 1:2 (if time permits, you may also try 4:1 and 1:4) until they have sufficient data to answer analysis questions. 

Volunteer (with help) disposes of gloves and other irrevocably tainted objects in the trash, or by binding them with the plastic table cover. 

Higher Order Learning: 

Answer the following analysis questions.

1. How did the physical properties of the substances change when mixed together?

2. Was this a mixture or a solution? How can you tell? 

3. What physical or chemical changes did you observe in the experiment? How do you know what kind it was?

4. What possible applications could this new substance have in normal life? Explain.

Your wish is my command, random advertisement. I don't know what you expect me to do with your devilish concoction, but your wish remains my command.

I need to know what demographic hates this! Dentists? Dermatologists? General Doctors? Counter-Terrorist Organizations? Interpol? The USPS? Grocery Store Employees? The lucrative 18-35 demographic? Will I be put on trial for war crimes? But you don't tell me, you just tell me to mix one with the other and fail to tell me who hates this one weird trick!

Well joke's on you I'm going to do it without looking at your probably actively malicious website, and find out what you're not telling me! If it turns into an explosive, it's entirely on you, random advertisement.

[babsaros]

Hi again. We have a hellweek left before we need to have all our belongings packed and out of this house. We've realized that trying to find something in our area isn't worth it and we've decided to start looking up near Boston, where my girlfriend has a friend willing to apply and move in with us, so we'll have an easier time getting approved and actually paying rent. Our friend has already gotten in to tour an apartment that looks really great for all of us, and we'll be submitting an application hopefully by tomorrow. I've talked to my managers about getting a transfer to a store up there and they're going to help me find a position so I hopefully won't have any lapse in working, though am I still being scheduled for 30 hours a week here rn which I'm extremely grateful for financially but does make the timing messy.

So right now, it looks like the plan is to rent a moving van of some sort at the end of the month/beginning of February and drive up there. We may need to stay a night or two in a hotel depending? On my work, on the approval process, on getting the funds to lock it all down together, on whether we need our friends help with the drive... Everything is so up in the air right now, I wish I could tell you all anything we do have nailed down right now. I'm worried about my car not making it through the drive, or breaking down as soon as we get there. We'll probably eventually need to get a second car anyway, and rely on public transport until we have one.

That's all to say, we know there's an end to this tunnel at some point, and we really really appreciate any help at all while we're still walking it, knowing we're still gearing up for more shit on the other side. I know everyone is stretched so thin these days, and everyone is scared and trying to get out of shitty positions. If you don't have the means to help anyone else, please please focus on taking care of yourself first. To those who can help, even just to share this post, thank you so much for your generosity, your compassion and time especially. once again, there are alternate ways of supporting us, like commissioning me for art through kofi, or spending money on my girlfriends OF (link in bio, 18+).

[harvest-of-the-present]

a message for you

choose one of the pictures above and get a reading. this reading is written using both the images and tarot.

(counting from left to right)

picture 1: Judgement Upright

This month has been a complex one, whether that be because of internal or external circumstances and reflections. But do not lose the spark, do not lose the hope. Those thoughts you had when entering the year or preparing for it may come back, and the opportunity to reflect on them again after the experiences you have lived during these days will become a point of renewal. There's a new sense, a new nuance in the perspection, that will lead you to discover something grander than you did before.

Taking time for yourself is not a bad choice, and this reading wants to reassure you of that. But especially when you consciously look at yourself during it— Let your inner you guide you when you need it, take a look inside and reflect on what you see without disregarding any parts of what you find. If you were considering starting any activity that you think can bring you tools to be more comfortable and better do this evaluation, you are encouraged to take that step. You deserve the peace and the awakening of a new path that brings you calm.

picture 2: Ace of Pentacles Upright

A new opportunity is awaiting for you, and you may doubt if to take it or not when you first recognise it. There's something about the circumstances around it, around you at that moment, that will create those thoughts of "but will I actually make it through it? will this work?". Take it. This is the seed of new flowers you deserve to water, to see them to bloom with you during this period of your life.

There's a sense of protection and safety around it, but you have to dip yourself into the water first to be able to discern it. Ground yourself and don't be afraid to see where this leads you to. See those daydreams reflecting on the skies, how the earth welcomes your feet just as they are. There's place for you in this world, and for things to work out and take you up in the ladder towards the future you had imagined.

Breathe in, treasure your body. Not losing oneself is the first step to see the path forward.

picture 3: II of Cups Upright

It's time for duality: take the step to get closer to that person or to make that change that will maybe impact your appearance or impression on others, but that you should do because it will bring you closer to yourself, both in the process and after it. Let your intuition take a bit more of weight when balancing your options. It's not bad to indulge, have fun, and see where that freedom takes you from time to time.

Check on yourself, though. On your boundaries, on your needs, on what feels right and what doesn't. It's easy to forget about these things that should be considered basics when we embark on something new, especially when it's so captivating, such an attractive idea. But remember yourself, and what you need to take care of the valuable being that you are. Seek for respect and treasure the moment, you may want to take more pictures than usual during this time.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

hello hello! i love your blog and it has been a fantastic resource for me. if i may ask, how does one go about writing music? my character is put in a situation where listening to a song is a large part of a scene, and i want to describe the song and music itself. while i would describe a guitar or drum, the song i have in mind specifically is mostly digital (think similar to edm) so i'm not sure how to do it. do you have any idea how i could tackle this?

thank you in advance!

Writing Notes: Electronic Music

Electronic Music - any music involving electronic processing, such as recording and editing on tape, and whose reproduction involves the use of loudspeakers.

It is produced from a wide variety of sound resources—from sounds picked up by microphones to those produced by electronic oscillators (generating basic acoustical waveforms such as sine waves, square waves, and sawtooth waves), complex computer installations, and microprocessors—that are recorded on tape and then edited into a permanent form.

Generally, except for one type of performed music that has come to be called “live electronic music”, electronic music is played back through loudspeakers either alone or in combination with ordinary musical instruments.

Musicians are always quick to adopt and explore new technologies.

The fast-paced changes wrought by electrification, from the microphone via the analogue synthesizer to the laptop computer, have led to a wide range of new musical styles and techniques.

Electronic music has grown to a broad field of investigation, taking in historical movements such as musique concrète and elektronische Musik, and contemporary trends such as electronic dance music and electronica.

The Art of Noises (1913) by Luigi Russolo is an important text in the history of electronic music, because it is the first attempt seriously to categorise all sounds and, indeed, to treat them as potential music.

Russolo wrote:

Every manifestation of our life is accompanied by noise. The noise, therefore, is familiar to our ear, and has the power to conjure up life itself. Sound, alien to our life, always musical and a thing unto itself, an occasional but unnecessary element, has become to our ears what an overfamiliar face is to our eyes. Noise, however, reaching us in a confused and irregular way from the irregular confusion of our life, never entirely reveals itself to us, and keeps innumerable surprises in reserve. We are therefore certain that by selecting, coordinating and dominating all noises we will enrich men with a new and unexpected sensual pleasure. Although it is characteristic of noise to recall us brutally to real life, the art of noise must not limit itself to imitative reproduction. It will achieve its most emotive power in the acoustic enjoyment, in its own right, that the artist’s inspiration will extract from combined noises. Here are the 6 families of noises of the Futurist orchestra which we will soon set in motion mechanically:

Rumbles: Roars, explosions, crashes, splashes, booms

Whistles: Hisses, snorts

Whispers: Murmurs, mumbles, grumbles, gurgles

Screeches: Creaks, rustles, buzzes, crackles, scrapes

Noises obtained by percussion: Metal, wood, skin, stone, terracotta etc.

Voices of animals and men: Shouts, screams, groans, shrieks, howls, laughs, wheezes, sobs

In this inventory we have encapsulated the most characteristic of the fundamental noises; the others are merely the associations and combinations of these.

Some Electronic Music Vocabulary

ADSR – Stands for Attack, Decay, Sustain and Release – refers to the envelope [i.e., characteristic of a sound (e.g. volume or filter) as it changes over time; can be used as a tool to shape a sound over time] applied to a sound to shape it over time. Can be applied to the volume, filter, pitch or more. Can make things sound plucky, soft, or ambient etc.

Aliasing – Subtle distortion that occurs in the digital realm when the input frequency is higher than the sample rate. The sample cannot be measured accurately and thus introduces imperfections into the sound.

Ambience – Can refer to a sound in a track which creates a sense of space or atmosphere – typically achieved by the use of time-based audio effects such as delays and reverbs. Also can refer to the level of sound in a recording that contains background noise, separate to the intended recording. Typically this background noise is undesirable, but sometimes it is an aesthetic choice.

Arpeggiator – A MIDI Effect that turns a static chord into an arpeggio. If that doesn’t make sense, it makes things go bleep-bleep-bleep.

Atmosphere – A sonic effect created by reverb, long tails and quieter sounds. Referred to as the background of a track.

Beat Repeat – A type of effect that takes audio as an input and repeats the snippet back at timed intervals to create a glitch effect.

Chill – A loosely-defined term to describe the sound of more relaxed, deeper and melody-driven music in electronic music. Sometimes people refer to this as a genre in itself.

Distortion – The processing of audio such that extra harmonics and loudness are added, creating a more fuller or aggressive sound. Distortion types include tube, clipping, tape, diode, overdrive, fuzz and many more.

Doppler Effect – The sonic effect of frequencies sounding higher pitched when moving closer to an audio source, and lower pitched when moving away. Like when you drive past a police siren.

Formant – A vocal quality of a sound relating to vowels, and a filter type that achieves a vowel-like sound. If you’ve ever heard an ‘oooh’ or ‘aaah’, then you’ve heard what a formant sounds like.

Gate – An audio effect that reduces the volume of a sound once it passes below a certain threshold. It’s good for reducing background noise or unwanted sounds in a recording or sample. Just like your gate at home stops unwanted people coming into your house.

Glide – Portamento—when the pitch slides evenly from note to note

Lazer – A type of sound made by a synth that features fast-moving pitch envelopes to create a ‘pew pew’ type effect.

Masking – A phenomenon when two sounds with similar frequency content cause one to become ‘buried’ due to phase cancellation or differences is loudness. For example, two piano sounds playing at the same time might cause one of them to sound less powerful and thin in the mix.

Normalize – Increases a waveform’s level to its highest before it becomes distorted

Panning – The process of moving a sound either left or right in the stereo field. Panning is a great mix technique to achieve width and space.

Polar Pattern – The way a microphone picks up a sound. Some pickup sound in many directions, others only in one direction, and everything in between.

Reflections – Part of a reverb that creates echoes based off sounds hitting walls and bouncing around rapidly.

Transient – The initial start point of a drum sound, where the audio goes from near silence to sudden loudness. Sounds clicky.

Voice stealing – When a synthesizer is programmed to play more sounds than accessible voices shuts down some present voices so new tunes can be played

Tips for Writing About Music

The most important step when writing about music is to write, read, and listen to as much as possible. Writing hones your voice, while reading exposes you to various styles and information that will shape your writing. The wider the range of music you embrace and study, the better your perspective and critical ear.

Read about music: Understand as much as possible about music, from instrumentation to how artists create their song lyrics. Reading also helps teach the technical vocabulary specific to certain genres. To help you gain a better command of music, use music writing reference books, such as A Short Guide to Writing About Music by Jonathan Bellman and How to Write About Music, edited by Marc Woodworth and Ally-Jane Grossan. Both of these works discuss how to research and write about music effectively, and are great resources for new music writers.

Stay informed: Develop an understanding of news, events, and cultural conversations that inform songwriters. For example, understanding the politics behind Russian feminist collective/punk group Pussy Riot is necessary if you want to write an informed piece on their output.

Learn music theory: The more informed your technical language, the better your music writing will be. Elements such as BPM, timbre, crescendos, adagio, and other music sounds will help you more deeply understand a particular piece of music and its relationship to other songs on an album.

Listen to music: Don’t only listen to genres that you prefer, but expand your ear to different types of music. Artists are inspired by music across time and genre, and the best music critics recognize those references.

Put work out: Whether you join your school’s paper, do creative writing, or start your own blog, getting eyes on your work is imperative to improving your music writing. There are also online resources that aggregate opportunities and writing prompts for writers of all experience levels, providing a great opportunity for new writers to get their foot in the door.

Pitch to publications: Online and print publications are always looking for new pitches from writers. The more places you pitch, the more likely it is that you will sell a piece. Don’t be discouraged if you pitch one outlet and never hear back. Lean into your passion, keep writing, and pitch some more.

Also describe the effects of the song to your character/s. The effects of music can be described using various adjectives like relaxing, calm, refreshing, soothing, etc.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Thanks so much, really glad to hear this! Choose which of these notes would be most appropriate to incorporate in your story. Do go through the sources as there are more information I wasn't able to include here.

Another reference on music-related terms, plus some great additions. And more resources that could help with describing sounds and scenes related to music in your story:

Words to Describe Sounds

100 Sensory Words

Some Percussion Instruments

Some Pop Music Vocabulary

Writing Template: Singing Scene

Finding the right words that could accurately describe the specific song you have in mind to your readers is one way to tackle this, but it's definitely a challenge. Hope you find the right words/references here!

[catscraftsandcommentary]

Not gonna lie, as a kid, I did NOT realize how much basic algebra and basic geometry would be involved in adulthood. All those word problems that you HATED as a student? They are preparing you to think your way through REAL SITUATIONS.

Real life word problems I have solved (or watched my dad solve, because he's very good at "let me show you how to do this Adult Stuff, so one day you can handle it on your own"):

I am preparing to retile the bathtub/shower in my bathroom. If the area is [measurements] on two walls and [measurements] on the other wall, and the tiles are [measurements] and come [number] in a box, how many boxes do I need? Does this include border tiles, which are [measurements]? Does this include cutting some tiles into two, where I need less than half a tile? How much will this cost? Do I need to keep the receipt to return extra tiles? What other materials do I need to prepare the wall for tiles, and how many of them do I need?

I want to make a cute knit hat. I have picked out a stitch pattern, a yarn type, and the appropriately sized needles. Using these, 5 repeats of the pattern is [measurements] and my head is [measurements]. Also, the border pattern that I want to use is [measurements]. How many repeats do I need to make for the hat to fit around my head? How many rows long should it be to cover the top of my head and down over my ears? When do I start decreasing for the top of the hat (where it goes from a tube to a circle)? Or do I start from the top and keep going until it's the right length? How do I adjust the pattern to account for the increases (top-down construction) or decreases (bottom-up construction) while I'm forming the top of the hat (the circle part)? If the pattern was written for flat knitting (back and forth) and I'm knitting in the round (always start rows on the right), do I need to adjust the pattern for that?

I want to follow a pre-written pattern for a fitted garment, BUT the test swatch I knitted came out the wrong size for the needles I used. Do I change needle sizes or rewrite the pattern [See process above for writing a knitting pattern.] If I change needle sizes, what size should I try next so I hopefully have to knit the fewest test swatches? Do I *like* the way that the pattern looks when I change needle sizes, or are the stitches now so loose that it's worth changing to a thicker yarn (test swatch was too small and bigger needles look bad), a thinner yarn (test patch was too big and smaller needles/tighter needles are hard to work with) or rewriting the pattern?

I am going to build a small wooden ramp for my new shed. What are the relevant local building codes? How long does my ramp need to be to reach from the door of the shed to the ground (which may be sloped) while keeping the appropriate slope? Am I using the gentle slope for handicapped access or the steeper slope for utility access? Is the ramp so long that it needs a level platform in the middle? How much space will this add? How many supports do I need? WHAT KIND AND HOW MUCH LUMBER DO I NEED TO BUY FOR THIS PROJECT? See also: screws, screw bits, support brackets, etc. How much will all this cost?

I want to reorganize my bedroom. What furniture do I have? Am I adding or removing any? What measurements do I need to take so I can make a small model of my room, doors, windows, electrical outlets, etc, and furniture? If I am doing this with graph paper, what scale am I using for "inches to graph squares" and what size does everything need to be? When I'm ready to move everything, what order do I move the furniture so that my largest pieces don't get trapped somewhere awkward?

If I also want to PAINT my bedroom at the same time, how do I move furniture so that I can reach the walls while doing the least rearrangement for heavy pieces? Do I have space in other rooms to temporarily move things out of my way, or do I have to keep most stuff in my room the whole time? How much stuff can I declutter and get rid of before I start?

I want to start a new embroidery project. What materials will I be using, and how much of each will I need? Can I use the things I already have in my Craft Stash, or do I need to make a run to the craft store? How big will the finished project be? Do I want to frame it (this will require extra fabric around the edges for mounting, plus the framing materials) or sew it on something as a patch (this will require a seam allowance and possibly backing fabric for the patch, like stabilizer) or embroider an existing item? What new techniques or skills do I need to look up and learn before I start?

I want to put organizing bins in my pantry cabinet. The shelves are [measurements]. Many of the cans and boxes that I want to organize are [measurements]. Of the organizers available, what size should I look for and how many will I need? Do I want everything one size, or do I want some larger or smaller for different things that I'm storing? How much extra effort will it take to set up and maintain this system, and am I willing to invest that effort - not just at the start, but as an on-going basis?

At work, we keep track of how much product we produce, the materials we use, and the waste that we had. (This helps for tracking "what does it cost to produce each item, including labor" which is important for budgeting. Unfortunately if management is obsessed with maximizing profits NO MATTER WHAT, this can lead to process changes that are REALLY ANNOYING.) If I have 5 rows of boxes plus 3 extra boxes on a pallet, and each box holds 12 items and each row holds 7 boxes, how many finished items are on the pallet? If I have 2 finished pallets (12 items per box, 7 boxes per row, 16 rows per pallet) PLUS that partial pallet at the end of the shift, how many items did we make that shift? If we threw away 68 lbs of material during the shift and there are 3.36 items per lb of material, how many item's worth of material did we throw away? What was our percentage of waste for the shift? (These ARE realistic numbers!) How much total material did we use during that shift, and when will we need to order more? If there are three production lines on the shift, all making different items and using different materials, how do we track everything? Are there any changes that management can make to make production more efficient? (More product produced, less materials and time wasted, less machine downtime for mechanical or user error problems.) How likely are those changes to drive experienced workers away, and is the cost of finding, hiring, and training new employees to a similar level of skill so high that we should NOT make those changes?

Word problems are EVERYWHERE when you're an adult, and half the trick of solving them is recognizing that they exist, and then figuring out what questions you need to ask to solve them, and what info you need to answer your questions.

One thing they don’t tell you about sewing is that it is actually ironing

[humansbgone]

The storyboard is done! On top of that, all the lines have been recorded, and I've just about finished placing them in the file for the final animatic render!

Voice work took a little longer this time around because, as you may have seen earlier this week, this time it wasn't just me doing them! We've got a whole cast for some new voices:

Cashier: e_doodlesnstuff

Clef: Manfred King

Bombardier Beetle: Will Quisenberry

Unsure Hiver: Snager

I'm incredibly excited to share their performances with you. They definitely brought something to the table that I couldn't have just talking to myself!

In the interest of not spoiling too much, I've limited this preview to a beginning sequence with Rose and Soph. A lot of you have wondered what carnivorous macrovolutes eat, and here's your answer!

Now, the bad news. This episode is going to be...INCREDIBLY long, compared to what I've done previously. The last episode already had the longest pre-Gregorsa animation at almost exactly 7 minutes, and this one is going over 11--not counting the Gregorsa lecture or credits. I am getting some help on the work for this one, but even so, it's going to take a while.

I'll wrap up animatic work this week and get it shipped out to SinclaireDeLune (https://www.instagram.com/sinclairedelune ) and DDX.EXE (https://ddxexe.bandcamp.com/ ) for backgrounds and music, respectively. DDX.EXE will also be handling sound effects this time, which helps a ton!

Next week, a break from HBG work to watch some tutorials on rigging. The latest Blender version has finally broken half of my rigging process, and the other half is a precarious Jenga tower on its own, so I'm going to have to get a new system going entirely and rerig every character. Additionally, every character model in the episode needs an overhaul (some more dramatic than others), and I've got some new models to make. Including a very intimidating one that I've been putting off.

So, we're looking at over a month for all that. Then, staging!! Even at this length, that should only be a week or two. Luckily, none of the assets are too difficult, and I can ask for help with those, so that will also probably be a week or two. Hopefully, background art will be mostly done then, and work can begin on animation! ...Which will anywhere from one to two months. Luckily, work on Gregorsa's lecture and notes should be brief after that, just a couple days.

So, all told, we're still in the realm of an April-May release. We'll see what happens. Until next time!

[riversenchanted]

PLUTO IN AQUARIUS: UTOPIA OR DYSTOPIA

Many posts I see about Pluto are either dystopian or utopian.

Some are quick to point out that Pluto (power) in Aquarius (sign of the people) signifies mass control and devastations faced by large numbers of people, which I don’t deny at all.

But there’s the other side of the coin as well in which the collective is tired of being pushed around with some even hitting rock bottom, and are now ready to dismantle the old paradigm to move on to something else or even build something new in response.

Pluto in Aquarius at best is the story of the underdogs discovering and utilizing their power after being relentlessly tormented.

With Pluto involved, we first encounter grim conditions that we can no longer tolerate. And then we become ready to knock it down in order to create or emerge in another sphere that is more ideal.

You cannot have one without the other in a world of polarity. And Pluto highlights this polarity.

Once you come to terms with this, you can work with Pluto and even fall in love with him.

You can go into a dark basement even if it’s scary, and face your fears and look them in the eye and even make room for your fears to exist while taking action.

It’s like when Dorothy and her friends discover who the Wizard of Oz truly is.

Behind the curtains, he is an ordinary individual using tricks and illusions to appear more intimidating than he really is.

This brings me to what’s happening now…

None of the tech giants and heads of state who seem to have colossal influence are as powerful as they appear.

They may issue draconian measures to control and wreak havoc on the masses and gaslight them in the process.

But such measures also backfire.

Just like with the recent TikTok ban in the U.S. (which has now been reversed), which drove millions of people to RedNote (a Chinese social media platform similar to TikTok) where Western users are now discovering (sometimes in awe) a new world they didn’t know existed.

It’s interesting that on the same week when RedNote became the most downloaded app (just days before the ban), Meta shares took a plunge.

It was then when Zuckerberg issued a statement that he will get rid of fact-checkers and introduce community notes instead.

The panic on his face when he made this statement was hard to ignore.

Also, many members of congress who voted for the ban invested in Meta stocks, prior to the ban.

One of the justifications for the ban was that the magnitude of data the app collected posed a national security threat.

After digging deeper, I’m finding out that apparently Meta collects more data than TikTok.

These are not topics that are reported in mainstream media.

With Uranus (freedom, cutting-edge technology) ingressing into Gemini (sign of communications) this year on 7 Jul 2025 (GMT), I expect a plethora of social media apps to emerge.

Uranus, the modern ruler of Aquarius, upholds freedom to be of utmost importance.

My prediction is that many of the upcoming social media platforms will respect people’s privacy a lot more and will not censor people’s voices as much, especially as we move closer to the Uranus-Pluto trine (lucky aspect) which will be exact next year.

Another topic not being covered in mainstream media is that Kansas (along with a number of other states in the U.S.) filed a civil suit against one of the most well-known pharmaceutical companies (you all know the name) for misleading the public and using deceptive marketing during the pandemic.

The point I’m trying to make is that actions are being taken to hold powerful companies and forces (that seemed invincible) accountable – this is the other side of the coin of Pluto (power) in empowering the collective (Aquarius).

Just because we don’t see these headlines in mainstream news outlets doesn’t mean that such countermeasures don’t exist.

The more we become aware of people standing up for the underdog and mobilizing themselves (including the underdogs themselves) to take action, the more we can empower ourselves with Pluto in Aquarius.

[mysticstronomy]

WHAT ARE DARK STARS??

Blog#474

Saturday, January 25th, 2025.

Welcome back,

A star dies. A sudden flash of light signifies the end in a supernova explosion. This, however, is only part of the life cycle of stars, as the rich materials created during the death throes of the star are ejected into space by the supernova.

When the next generation of stars form, they sweep up the leftovers of the supernova, accreting the metals that the dying star produced — metals being the term that astronomers use for anything heavier than hydrogen and helium. Metals are important; without them, the disc of gas and dust surrounding a newly forming star could not create rocky planets. But if new stars recycle the metals produced in the deaths of old stars, what did the very first stars do?

The universe began with the Big Bang, which created the gases hydrogen and helium, trace amounts of lithium and perhaps beryllium as well. Matter began to clump together, pulling in ever more material through gravitational attraction. It may have been dark matter — the mysterious substance that has yet to be directly detected — that began to accumulate first. This then drew in the ordinary matter, the stuff we can see, such as hydrogen and helium. Together the dark and ordinary matter created what is known as a 'minihalo', although the name is somewhat misleading, as minihalos had masses around a million times that of our sun.

It was in the mini halos that the first stars were born 200 million years after the Big Bang.

The first stars are known as Population III stars, and none have ever been observed, as they are too faint. The first stars had to make do with what they had available, and formed from clouds containing only hydrogen and helium. When they died in supernovae explosions, they produced the first metals for the subsequent population of stars, Population II, which have a small proportion of metals. These went on to birth the metal-rich Population I stars we have today.

The dark matter in the minihalo may have done more than bring elements together — it might also have been present deep within the first stars. These stars are known as 'dark stars', due to the dark matter within them, although they would have actually shone very brightly.

Everything that we can see and detect — the stars and galaxies — only makes up a puny 5% of the universe, whereas dark matter comprises 25%. The rest is made of dark energy, another oddity thought to be responsible for accelerating the expansion of the universe. As CERN notes, dark matter does not interact with ordinary matter, and it does not produce any light. We only know that it must be there as its immense gravitational force tugs on ordinary matter.

One of the leading theories attempting to explain the invisible mass in the universe is a hypothetical particle known as a WIMP — a weakly interacting massive particle. 'Weakly' interacting refers to their relationship with ordinary matter. However, they would still interact with themselves. In fact, if two WIMPs collided with each other they would destroy each other in a process known as annihilation. This is because theories, such as this study at the University of Maryland, predict that WIMPs are their own 'antiparticles'.

Originally published on https://www.space.com

COMING UP!!

(Wednesday, January 29th, 2025)

"WHAT CAUSES A STAR TO SHINE??"

[consolecadet]

Tips for freshly diagnosed celiac-havers

Someone I knew asked me for advice after getting diagnosed with celiac. I gave her some. I might as well share them with you as well!

I am not a doctor, and not your doctor, I'm just some guy with celiac disease. Ask an actual doctor for help with medical decisions. I'm in the northeastern United States, so you might have to go hunting for equivalent resources if you live elsewhere.

Are you done with testing?

If you had a tTG-IgA blood test with an elevated result, or a doctor just told you you have celiac, but you have not gotten a biopsy via endoscopy to confirm your diagnosis, WAIT! You may not want to stop eating gluten quite yet. You have to be eating gluten for the biopsy test to work.

It is not fun to stop eating gluten, start feeling better, and then have to start eating it again just to prove that you really have celiac disease.

Your choice in this area is personal. If you know you're going to have to wait years to get an endoscopy, it would probably be healthier and more pleasant to stop eating gluten now and then do a "gluten challenge" for a few weeks before your endoscopy.

If it's unlikely you will ever get an endoscopy (too expensive, inaccessible, phobia, etc), there's no point in waiting for something that may never come -- just stop eating gluten now.

But if you can schedule an endoscopy for a month or two from now, it's probably best to keep eating gluten until the endoscopy. Sorry.

Please eat food. Like, enough food.

The most important tip I got early in my diagnosis is that if you stop eating gluten and you start feeling crummy -- dizzy, cranky, tired, etc -- it's not because you're going through "gluten detox" or some shit. It's because you're hungry!

It's easy to accidentally start eating way less when you start eating gluten free. A celiac diagnosis can make you want to avoid eating because food feels scary and stressful. Cutting a major ingredient from your diet without knowing what to replace it with can also leave you undernourished.

You really need nourishment when you are recovering from celiac! Your body need energy from food to use on healing your intestines. If you've lived with celiac for a long time, you probably have vitamin deficiencies you're trying to bounce back from. The emotional difficulty of adjusting to a new diagnosis is also much easier to face if you're not starving.

All of this advice applies equally regardless of body size. Yes, even if you are very fat. If you're hungry, eat.

Where to find information about gluten-free food

The gold standard for basic celiac info is celiac nonprofits. There's a ton of info about celiac disease and the gluten free diet on their websites. I recommend:

Celiac Disease Foundation

Beyond Celiac

You know what's not a legitimate celiac nonprofit? Gluten Free Society. Do not listen to anything GFS or its founder Peter Osborne have to say. Osborne is not an actual doctor, nor is he doing actual nutrition science. He is a chiropractor (i.e. quack) so bad that his state's board of chiropractors threatened to revoke his license. Don't let anyone tell you celiac means you can't have corn!!! Truly, wtf @ this guy.

Google's AI summaries for searches like "Is XYZ food gluten free" are often inaccurate (because they pick up sites like GFS). I always click through to the source to be sure. "Is XYZ food celiac safe" sometimes gives more useful search results.

I also like this presentation "I Have Celiac" for a super in-depth guide to having and living with celiac. The OP made it to show to loved ones to explain their deal, but it's so thorough that I found it helpful for myself when I got my diagnosis.

I want to buy food that's safe for celiac...how do I do that?

You should be able to find gf food at any supermarket. The selection of baked goods and processed foods may be lacking, depending on where you live, but produce, raw unmarinated cuts of meat, and other whole foods like milk and eggs are generally safe even if not labeled gf.

A lot of supermarkets have an indicator on the price labels to help you -- for example, at Stop and Shop, the labels on the shelf have an orange circle that says "gf" in it under foods that are gluten free. It's best to check the packaging too, since Stop and Shop sometimes gets it wrong!

Something that says "gluten free" or "certified gluten free" on it is safe for celiac*. Something that doesn't say "gluten free" on the packaging may also be safe, so long as it also doesn't contain wheat, barley, or rye, or have a wheat allergy warning under the ingredient list. Here are some tips for what to look for on ingredient labels.

Labels can get real complicated real fast, so just use your best judgment. It's okay if you don't get it right 100% of the time. The goal when living with celiac is to reduce gluten exposure as much as possible, not to hermetically seal yourself in a deep well where a single molecule of gluten can never possibly reach your tongue. You, and only you, get to decide how much exposure risk you're comfortable with.

My favorite grocery store post-diagnosis is Wegmans. My nearest one is a bit of a hike, so I don't go that often, but it's such a treat when I do. Wegmans has a huge gluten free aisle with gf staples and fun snacks, plus lots of food items that can be harder to find gf, like fresh pasta and baked goods.

I also like the online health food store iHerb for finding new gf snacks and ingredients. You can filter the whole store by dietary needs, so you can also find gf skincare/makeup items and supplements if you want. I have a discount link for 20% off: https://secure.iherb.com/rewards/rewards-program?rcode=DRO2876

The best way to find restaurants that can accommodate celiac is Find Me Gluten Free. It's essentially a gluten-free Yelp. People use the site/app to review of restaurants for 1) what cross-contact precautions the restaurant takes and 2) crucially, if the food was good!

Gf food can be expensive, ngl. The National Celiac Association has advice for how to save money on gf food, including a database of food pantries that set aside gf food for people who need it.

GF ~influencers~

If you want to follow some people who Get It, I like:

Phil Hates Gluten (on IG, TT, and YT) has EoE (another gluten-related autoimmune condition). He reviews gf food and restaurants and makes silly videos about the gf experience.

Robyn's Gluten-free Living on YouTube has gf baking videos and advice about traveling, eating at restaurants, saving money on gf food, and more.

Here on Tumblr, @gluttonysansgluten and @certifiedceliac (and I would love more recommendations for celiac related Tumblr accounts!)

Having celiac is really hard. But it does get easier.

I felt overwhelmed and honestly kind of doomed when I got my celiac diagnosis. For the first few months I felt like I couldn't trust any food and I was going to be totally excluded at all social events forever. It sucked. But then I got a lot of practice figuring out which foods were safe for me, advocating for myself at restaurants and when my friends were planning get-togethers involving food, and now things are really not that bad. And I feel way, way less sick.

If you feel overwhelmed or don't know how to interpret the 1 million sources online telling you what's gluten free, I really recommend seeing a dietician. Your best bet is a weight-neutral or HAES dietician who mentions celiac somewhere on their website or online profile. You can generally count on those folks to give you practical information about how to live with celiac, as well as emotional support as you adjust to what is probably a pretty big and stressful change in your life and how you view yourself!

You got this!

*Please do not talk about Cheerios on my post. Make your own.

[maypiles]

🦋Chaotic Yet Enlightening Channeling of the Apocalypse (aka Your Tower Moment, Babe):🌙✨

ALL RIGHT, BUCKLE UP BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO SCREAM!!!

❗This is a collective reading so take what resonates and leave what does not. Please do not force the reading. Be careful of scammers I'll never reach out to you to ask for personal readings or money ❗

Listen, when Spirit won’t let me sleep, you know it’s serious. Like, I am literally trying to get my beauty sleep, okay? Trying to stay looking this good isn’t effortless, but what happens? THE MOMENT I STIR, before I even open my eyes, what do I hear? Oh, just Ariana Grande whispering in my ear like the siren she is, “Something about you makes me feel like a dangerous woman.” And I’m like, EXCUSE ME?! Spirit, why do I need to feel dangerous at 3 a.m.?! I HAVE A SCHEDULE.

But no, that line keeps playing in my head like it’s stuck on repeat, and I’m tossing and turning, trying to ignore it, trying to go back to sleep, but Spirit is like, “Nah, babes. We’re not done here.” So I’m like, “FINE, WHAT IS IT, SPIRIT?!” And boom, I get hit with the Empress in my mind's eye.

Oh, okay, someone’s stepping into their power. Love that for you. I've been getting this in the collective's energy lately. Great. Can I sleep now? But NO. Spirit is like, “Hold up, May,” and BAM, next thing I see is the Tower. And I’m like, “Oh, cool, so someone’s stepping into their power and DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN THE PROCESS?! Love that.”

I finally fall back asleep, but guess what happens today? Spirit taps me on the shoulder AGAIN. Like, “Hey, May, remember that thing? Yeah, we’re not done.” And I’m like, “FINE, OKAY, WHAT IS IT?!” And guess what shows up in my mind’s eye? THE HIGH PRIESTESS. And I’m like, OH GREAT, so now we’re bringing secrets into the mix. Some hidden truth is about to blow up, isn’t it?

Oh, and it gets better. Spirit starts showing me gray feathers on the floor. And if you know, you know—gray feathers are like, “Hey, you’re about to level up, but also good luck because it’s going to be a MESS.”

I’m sitting here trying to have a normal day, but Spirit won’t LET ME. They’re like, “Pick up your cards, May.” And I’m like, “I’m TIRED. My throat hurts. Can I not have one day?!” And Spirit goes, “Fine, don’t pick them up. We’ll just project them into your brain like a free Netflix special. ALSO, that's throat chakra getting activated and cleaned because someone's about to speak their truth, so you better mention that”

So here I am, LITERALLY SEEING TAROT CARDS IN MY HEAD. The audacity. Spirit starts flashing The Tower again, like, “Oh, you thought we were done with this chaos? Think again.” Then I see The Moon Reversed. Secrets coming out. Deceptions being revealed. Hidden emotions and feelings coming to the surface. All that fun Scorpio moon energy, because of course it’s a moon in Scorpio. WHEN ELSE would Spirit decide to wreck everyone’s life?

And let me tell you, the cards they’re showing me? WILD. We’ve got:

The Five of Swords Reversed – Oh, so people are trying to apologize now? Trying to fix what they broke?

The High Priestess – AGAIN. Like, we get it. You’re intuitive. Secrets are coming out. Cool.

The Eight of Wands – This is happening FAST. Like, you blink, and BAM, your whole life is different.

The World – Endings, new cycles, blah blah blah. Classic.

The Wheel of Fortune – Fate is stepping in, babes. You can’t run from this.

The Three of Swords – Oh, heartbreak? Breakups? Who’s shocked? Not me.

Seven of Swords Reversed – Lies exposed. Masks falling. People caught in 4K. Fxxx your entire life type of crap.

Queen of Swords Reversed – Oh, someone’s MAD. Cutting people off, no explanation, just vibes.

The Devil – Toxicity is being dragged into the light. Say goodbye to whatever’s been chaining you down.

The Sun – Okay, but there’s hope. A light at the end of the tunnel.

And then Spirit is like, “Oh, you thought that was it? HAHAHA NO.” I’m seeing the Death Card in my head now. Transformation. Endings. Cleansing. 2025 is a Year Nine, babes, which means ENDINGS EVERYWHERE. Relationships, jobs, homes—whatever isn’t working for you is about to get YEETED out of your life.

I’m also seeing VERY specific things. Like:

Someone’s moving abroad. Packing up and leaving everything behind.

Someone’s going through a massive identity shift. Could be someone coming out, transitioning, or just finally being their authentic self.

Someone’s breaking free from toxic cycles—buying their first house, gaining independence, all that empowering stuff.

Breakups. Oh, there are SO MANY breakups. But also apologies, reconciliations, confessions. Fights turning into love, love turning into fights—basically, everyone’s life is a telenovela right now.

And Spirit is like, “We’re clearing the clutter, babes. Making room for 2026. You thought 2025 was a new chapter? No, this is the BURNING of the old book.”

And here’s the kicker—Spirit isn’t even NICE about it. They’re like, “You’re stepping into your power, or you’re getting DRAGGED into it. Your choice.”

So yeah, this is your message. If you’re feeling like your life is an absolute circus right now, congratulations, you’re on track. Embrace the chaos. Step into your Empress energy. Burn it all down if you have to. But don’t you DARE sit there and pretend you didn’t see it coming, because Spirit has been sending you signs for WEEKS.

Feathers, songs, gut feelings—you’ve been getting ALL the hints. If you ignored them, that’s on you. But it’s not too late. Trust your intuition, babes. You’re about to rise from the ashes like the phoenix you are, and honestly? You’re going to look amazing doing it.

Stay alive, thrive, and don’t forget to thank me later. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭💕

OKAY, so listen, babes, I wasn’t even planning on doing ANYTHING today because your girl has been SAD. Like, actual sad potato vibes. If potatoes could cry, that’s me for the past two weeks. Why? Because my baby, my fluffy child, my absolute love of my life, Claude, who is THREE YEARS OLD and perfect, went missing. Two weeks ago. And I’ve been an emotional wreck ever since. Add some drama with my partner (because why not, Spirit loves to pile it on), and I was like, “I’m done. I’m just going to roll up in my blanket and wait for the energy to shift.” But then SPIRIT won’t let me rest! I took the week off, waiting for the vibe to change, but NOPE. Spirit was like, “Oh, you’re sleeping peacefully? Let’s disturb that real quick.” Like, the AUDACITY. So anyway, I’m lying there this morning, stirring awake, and the first thing I hear in my head is “Something about you makes me feel like a dangerous woman.” THAT LINE. ON REPEAT. Ariana Grande is now living in my brain rent-free. I was like, “Spirit, PLEASE, let me sleep!” And Spirit said, “No, because we have MESSAGES, babes.” So I gave in, rolled over, and started channeling. And here I am. BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART. Guess what? Someone TEXTED ME TODAY saying they THINK THEY SPOTTED CLAUDE. YES, MY BABY. They saw a cat matching his description in another town. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💕 You KNOW I’m waking up at the crack of dawn, throwing myself into my car, and zooming to that town tomorrow morning. If I find him, y’all will HEAR ME SCREAMING ACROSS THE UNIVERSE. So yeah, it’s been a week. But you know what? Spirit dragged me back to channel this message for y’all, and maybe I’ll find my baby tomorrow, and maybe—just MAYBE—the universe is finally cutting me a break. Anyway, I’m going to sleep now. If Spirit tries to wake me up again, I swear I’m staging a protest. Goodnight, babes. Pray for me and Claude. BULT'AR AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭💕

[betterbemeta]

don't let the bad news (evil executive orders, play by play of obvious corrupt schemes, etc.) tire you out but here's the thing.

this is not the time to 'wait,' or 'hunker down' or 'take a break.'

I know that fact plays havoc with people who have anxiety, or have ADHD or experience mania, etc. It can be difficult for many people to handle 'urgency' without it feeling like

they are being screamed at maximum volume to have already done 'everything'

but also to do it right now

and also they're already a failure

and also they can fail worse or harder, etc. etc.

I understand these feelings. But we must navigate urgency now and fragility is unfortunately not an option. Increasingly 'breaking' doesn't mean another adult fixes it for you, it means 'swept into the trash.' I understand that many people need support to confront this reality, but accessing that support also takes work, unlike an algorithm it will never 'find you.' Not falling through the cracks is not always voluntary but we want to maximize the cases where it is.

And we can talk about how the removal of safety nets is a strategy to ensure as many people smash against the ground as possible. But not on this post.

The thing is, there is no material difference between the behavior that a violent ruling party wants us to do (stay put due to obedience) and the action that the 'freeze' reaction to danger wants us to do (stay put to conserve energy/endure pain).

Even if we frame it as 'needing a rest' or 'self-care,' every significant delay to critical tasks is still a delay that could have an impact on us. Moving forward is self care right now, and will be community care if we do it in groups.

It is the strategy of oppression to make moving at all feel so overwhelming that you believe you only have the strength to hide away as they do whatever they want.

Many people will relinquish their autonomy this way, sometimes even actively.

the creepy tradwife lifestyle is bait for overwhelmed women, that a Husband will take half of the artificially overwhelming responsibility of independence away from you, in exchange for being a robot that automates HIS independence. Which he believes he needs, if he can't afford to pay a servant!

The military benefits when poverty is un-survivable with dead ends, to-dos, shit jobs, waiting lists, especially for people who have been screwed over education, that giving yourself to a cult seems like a good deal. They house, feed, clothe you, they give you directions in a world that abandoned you! You can trade up 'get a job lazy poor' to 'god bless you for your service!' (don't ask veterans if they can eat that.)

But being overwhelmed can still cause you to give up autonomy passively. Especially if you are alone or feel alone.

You don't need to do everything all at once but make serious (incremental, sane, well-paced) goals to do things you may want to accomplish like

get your bank account or financial stuff sorted out,

apply for a passport,

change your name/get married/similar processes,

get on unemployment (may also require proof of weekly job applications depending on where you live),

go to the doctor,

renew your lease or move house,

whatever you need to do. This isn't an exhaustive list.

Pencil in your Saturdays and don't bail, is what I mean.

Make buddies and teams.

Start a group chat.

Whatever works.

As long as it does and you can hold proof of it. Not a 'I sent an email' or 'i left a message,' you MUST follow up. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry ok. I know. You're ALREADY doing so many things, I know! Me too. I know it sounds like your parents or like "pull up your pants and clean your room!" or like someone's disappointed in you. But nobody is, or they shouldn't be. And this isn't about bootstraps: nobody will participate collectively if you don't. If you wait for there to be a puller upper group, there won't be one. you have to decide to do that thing tomorrow. Even if you're tired and did so many other things today. You have to tell your friends. I KNOW. I know.

these plans and actions will give you a 'tomorrow' and that is critical right now. It is the whole goal of those who oppose you to deny you that. To make them work for it, we have to also work for ourselves.

[thaylepo]

Okay.

So first off, this is a misunderstanding of the differencw between a HISTORICAL RECONSTRUCTION and an ARTISTIC INTERPRETATION.

I've held my piece on this topic for a long looong time because I haven't had the steam for a rant on the scale of the Cave Woman Dildos, but I'm back on my adhd meds and therefor back on my bullshit, so buckle up buttercups, let's do this.

A "historical reconstruction" is the recreation of an object, a method, or action using only data collected via evidence-based research. This includes archaeology, scientific study, ethnologic study of living cultures and their ancestors, comparative studies of a collection of multiple subjects, and more recently, microscopic analysis and cool shit like mass spectrometry.

The statues above are RECONSTRUCTIONS. What y'all are complaining about is that they are not ARTISTIC INTERPATATIONS.

Lemme explain further.

Analysis was made on microscopic pigment remains on the statuary to identify the colours that the statue may have been painted with (afaik). Since ancient pigments can often exhibit a range of colours, additional research on that can be done to determine the most likely visual hue, multiple items analysed to fill in areas where no pigment was preserved or couldn't be identified. Then a reconstruction of the statue is made to show it painted in the most accurate colours determined by all the evidence of this research. It's the best that could be done, sticking only to that evidence. Guarantee, the minute more evidence is available, the researchers are gonna be fervently reassessing their work, but the physical reconstruction in the museum? In that 10, 20, 30yo article? It'll still be there. Shit's slow to update in rhe public side.

So why isn't it an ARTISTIC INTERPETATION? Why isn't that part of this process? Isn't the study of ancient art evidence too??

It is! But it's a different kind of study!

While some logical connections can be made and justified in evidence based research in the interest of creating a physical recobatruction like this, you will notice that what all this research CAN'T determine is stuff the artistic shading and variance of colour to give depth, dimension, and glow to the subject. The physical analysis of pigment is just going to identify the pigment molecule. The research into ancient pigment making is just going to give you its physical properties like colour. The location of the sample is just going to tell you where on the statue the pigment was applied. It ISN'T going to tell you how the artist applied it. It can't. The nature of this subject limits it like that.

Because the RECONSTRUCTION is only the evidence-based part of this process. The next part is the ARTISTIC INTERPRETATION. This is where you look at the frescoes, the mosaics, and every example we have of how colour and depth are artistically applied, break it down into historical periods (the Roman Empire was really, really long, guys), make a detailed in depth artistic study of all of these techniques and examples, combine them with the research on pigments and your statuary, and THEN.... THEN you create an INTERPRETATION of how you THINK the statue MIGHT have been painted.

Tl;dr..... my beef here is that we are seeing the results of one part of a two part process.... and then complaining that the second part isn't there. That.... that's like seeing someone mix a cake batter, and then complaining that it doesn't look like a cake yet. There's a whole second process that needs to be done before that happens!

Simply put, in terms of say, colouring in photoshop for example, this evidence-based data gives us our base layers. To get our shading and effects, we need to begin a new, different process.

Not every archaeologist is an artist, or even does artistic study and interpretation in addition to physical microscopic pigment analysis, tho many do! In any case, you can do the physical analysis and reconstruction, and it will stand on its own as a publication-worthy study without the artistic interpretation. The reverse cannot be said.

So you get a lot of these studies presented as absolute and factual and scientific, and that makes it look like the second part, the artistic interpretation part, is being done separately by an entirely different field of study. It also doesn't help that these sides of the study of archaeology, hard physical evidence based science and artistic/humanities/social sciences often appear to be constantly bickering in the extremes, when most often both need to be applied whenever possible, as rigorously as possible.

I get that the ins and outs of academics can be pretty obscured to anyone looking in with casual interest, and often these bite size public science articles put things in clipped absolute terms to make them short and easily digested ("This is EXACTLY how these statues looked, the smart people said so! Wild! Now click this link about Roman dick lamps before we've lost your interest!"), and this in particular is often misrepresented. Sometimes this kind of thing is misrepresented intentionally, not to fuck with the public, but to make it easier to get further funding from people who have lots of money but do not understand archaeology as much as they do investment. (And sometimes the archaeologist is just a dick. I guarantee we all just thought of one name, and we're probably all right.)

But. But. The field as a whole? Collectively?

My guys. My dudes. My people. My wonderful, intelligent, creative, and lovely people who share my burning passionate interest in all things of the past and present?

I PROMISE YOU. I promise, from my very bones, the people who have spent years, decades, dedicated their very careers to the study of Roman art and archaeology? Who spend months hunched over in the dirt, months more hunched over in the lab, who voraciously consume every book, lecture, who visit every tiny local museum within a fifty mile radius of wherever they spend more than a week's time, who cross the world to see sites and artifacts with their own eyes because pictures are not good enough, who can look at a fragment of a fresco painting and tell you exactly what wall on what Pompeiian bathhouse it was painted on?

They know. Okay? They know. They are fully, completely aware and in agreement that this is not how these statues were actually painted. They know! They're okay with it, because:

What they also know that has been unfortunately obscured from you, is that that's not what is being presented here. These paint-by-numbers examples are just a very basic visual, physical reconstruction based on data from physical evidence. They know that artistic interpretations are much, much harder, take longer, require different skills, methods, and area of study, have to be generously extrapolated because we only have other forsms of painted art and no existing fully painted statuary to go by (again, afaik), and are much, much more subject to controversy, interpretation, and error.

So like, cut 'em some slack okay? Very few of us are stodgy tweed jacketed bearded old men from the 30s and 50s anymore. We're largely gen x/millenials being taught and working for an "old guard" while knowing we will likely never inherit their stable tenured positions. The majority of the field is younger women now, and many of us are queer, of diverse cultural backgrounds, and struggle to afford to do the work we studied to do, that we crave to do, while trying to create needed change in a field whose existing structure remains as resistent to change as it ever was.

If something seems off to you in a bite size public science article? Look it into it! Do your own further research! I guarantee you'll find out more than you expected. That iceberg is fucking massive under here, and there is plenty of it to dunk on that actually deserves it lol

... mosaic ...

Roman mosaic, Detail of floor, 1 century BC, National Archaeological Museum of Aquileia, Italy

[pyrrhicallyspeaking]

could you post the obscure journey uquiz results plz 🙏🏻 I'm so curious about all of them

Oh sure! There are eight results in total, and ig y'all can take these reassurances whenever u want 🫶

Read below the line for the results to this quiz👇

I. You have done what you can.

It’s alright to second-guess all the decisions you’ve made. Sometimes, that’s just how we cope when we face difficulties. But I want you to remember that your strength comes from working around the past. Yes, there are so many things you could’ve done differently; I won’t stop you from thinking about those endless possibilities, but please be kind to yourself. You don’t have to accept it so suddenly, but you will have to start somewhere. What’s done is done, for better or for worse. Now, you are here in a place that can take you further. It waits for you patiently, so there's no need to push yourself when you’re not ready. But, it asks for one thing: to leave your regrets behind. The past may weigh heavy on you, but most of that baggage is something you can start dropping along the way. Your shoulders could only bear so much, so wouldn’t it be better if they carried the good instead of the bad?

II. You are far more than what you fear.

Something is stopping you, and you are afraid it'll consume you if you take another step. I want you to look at yourself, then at every good thing you have now. Maybe it’s hard for you to even do that, and it’s okay. But, you have to open your eyes. The shadows loom far beyond the safe space you've made already, and you are stronger than you were before. They deny you the courage you've long since built, and we both know that's just unfair. Take heart, and start opening up. You can take it, and probably a bit more after that. But of course, it’s always okay to harbor some doubt. The rush you feel is only natural, but know that sometimes, it’s all in your head. Be strong, and in your moment of weakness, be trusting. You are strong, and so are the people you have confided in.

III. You have changed for the better.

We all have our reasons to change; maybe it’s to become the person we wish to be, or sometimes it’s just so we can leave the past behind. Whatever the reason is, we can’t help but look back and ask ourselves if it’s worth it, if the person we are now is better than what we left behind. Questioning yourself is fine, but do be careful. You walk the tightrope of reflection and self-loathing, and it’s much too easy to sink into the latter. Besides, you deserve to be proud of who you are now. You don't have to worry about the specifics—if you've changed significantly. What matters is that you took that step to become someone new. It's a long road, yes, but that's all the more reason to keep your head up. You'll become that dream you long for, so just enjoy the journey that'll take you there.

IV. What you seek shall be revealed.

You feel like the answers always slip away whenever you get close enough to realize things. You're just left with more questions, ones you don't have the time to add to the already-daunting pile you have. This isn't your fault; the situation is far more than anyone could handle given your circumstance, even if it seems like such a small thing. But this isn't the end for you, time just hasn't caught up with your desires. There are things far away from your vision, puzzle pieces that are taking their time to fit into the grand scheme. More than anything, you're being tested for your patience. Those lines you've drawn will soon converge, that much is true. Perhaps this lull is given to you so that you may reflect. Slow down, and look deeper. You deserve whatever answer you seek, but you also deserve to know why you're trying to find it in the first place.

V. Fires shall burn bright once more.

People always say passion is a flame that soon consumes itself, falling silent after a glorious blaze. You feel like you're waning, your own fire stoked beyond the brink, now sputtering and dying. Whose fault it is, you don't exactly know, nor do you particularly care at this point. All you know is that you don't feel the same joy you once had. I'm not going to lie to you, what you're going through is painful. But you have to believe in yourself. You're not a lost cause, and there's more to you than what you're led to believe. Yes, your heart may be quiet now, but it's merely preparing itself. This stillness is your time to be loving of yourself. Trust that time will be kinder to you from now and slowly build yourself up again. Sun and stars beyond will soon greet your own light, and you will feel the warmth bloom inside you again.

VI. Love yet hopes for you.

Humans exist to love, and you feel like you’re ready to invite that into your life. And yet, it’s like the world is conspiring against you, keeping the warm embrace of another soul away from you. Questions start to seep in: if you’re truly ready for this, if your standards are too high or too low, hell, you start to question if you’re even worthy of love despite telling yourself over and over again that you are. Take heart, for you’re more than deserving of love. It’s funny really, how we exist to love but most of the time we don’t know how to express it. But maybe that’s why: we care so much about it that we forget the simple acts. What I’m telling you is that you’re already loved, and I hope both you and them will realize that. And if you think you haven’t found the love you're looking for, then just know that you deserve to find it, that they deserve you too.

VII. Let the silence be your solace.

After the storms you’ve weathered, it feels odd that you’re just left here—standing still, staying silent. To you, it might even feel wrong to not be doing anything with the time you’re given. But that’s probably why you’re here in the first place: you need to understand that you’re not a whirlwind of change, at least not all the time. You’re human, and it’s perfectly fine to be tired. What you see now is not a lack of something, it’s just what happens when you finally have time for yourself. You’re not stuck, and nothing bad is going to rear its ugly head towards you. The world stopped for you, so take a deep breath. Be proud of all that you’ve done, it’s what you deserve. And if it’s not too much for you, I want you to be just you, nothing more and nothing less. Even the strongest hearts need their time to heal.

VIII. Soon, you shall see skies again.

Heavy clouds loom over you, since when did it become so dark? You remember the you who would smile at anything as they leave their baggage at the doorway—the better you. You’re thankful that life taught you what the world truly looks like, but you fear that you’ve become far too cynical. It’s hard to be hopeful nowadays, and maybe not everything has to be your fault. But you have to know that you still have power left in you. It may not be enough to change the world, but there’s enough to change yours. Feel your heartbeat and know that it sings for you, the you that can become what they were. The world may have taught you that life is war, but know that it is merely a lesson, not a decree. Remember that reality is not painted grey; no, it brims with every color imaginable. Let yourself hope again, for your hardened mind will only be stronger with a kinder heart.

END.