#i may not be a professional but i think anyone could see the shit wrong with my organs

[the-withering-system]

Umm not a great sign when your radiologist pokes your overy and goes, "huh"

Ma'am, please I like my surprises post procedure. She was so stoic until she saw them too

[mysticheathenn]

Why Are You Ugly? Your Traits, Habits, Etc...

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card is really just for fun. Please don't take most of what is here seriously unless it resonates. This is just to show some of your features or traits that others deem unattractive. Again this is meant to be fun and not a dig at you..unless you like shit like that then by all means do you.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Pile l:

Tarot: 5 of Swords, 5 of Cups / Strength (reversed), 2 of Swords

Pile l others find you "ugly" because you are a coward who lack direction in their life. The phrase from the movie Clueless "You're a virgin who can't drive" just popped into my head. Not only that but you like to cry wolf while also not doing anything with your life. Ex. "I'm so lazy, a fatass, etc" but then you continue to scroll on TikTok and not apply yourself in areas of your life you want to change. You may also like to point fingers at other people whenever something doesn't happen the way you want it to go and blame everyone else except for the matter for what it is, sometimes yourself.

Oracle: Talent/Dreams (Reversed), Life Purpose The TikTok meme "You are looking so cute doing ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING GET YOUR ASS UP. GET YOUR ASS UP." For those who don't know the meme here is the link to the original video: http://tinyurl.com/3fa4xth2

Pile ll:

Tarot: 3 of Swords / The Magician / 6 of Swords (All Reversed), 5 of Pentacles.

The only thing you like to let go of is money pile ll. Anything else in your life you like to hold onto especially toxic people and grudges and sometimes for no dam reason. Someone could step on your 5-year-old shoes and say sorry but because they stepped on your shoe you're out for revenge...okay maybe some of you may not be that petty but you still like to hold grudges and then wonder why no one or barely anyone is in your life...it's because you let people go for breathing wrong pile ll. Someone says your name in a tone you aren't familiar with, blocked. Someone didn't bring you food even though you said you weren't hungry, block. Again maybe not this crazy for some of you but you get it. You may have also been attracted a bit to pile one because you also don't like to do sh*t with your life and when you do decide to do sh*t with your life if it doesn't happen fast enough for you, you give up as if everything is supposed to bend you to your will when, where, and how you want it.

Oracle: Prosperity/Love (reversed), Trust

There's a lyric to a song that I can't think of but the song part that is playing in my head is "That's why you believe in lies..."...I wish I knew the song but that is the only part of it that keeps playing with no melody in my head. Learn to trust...not only yourself but others and love yourself. Let love in your life without treating everything like a checklist or transaction. Also, stop overspending, pick up a Financial literacy book or course and learn how to save, plan, and budget your money properly.

Pile lll:

Tarot: Death, 8 of Wands, The Fool, Knight of Wands

Pile lll your trait that others may deem "ugly/unappealing" isn't so much of a bad thing. you were probably told when you were younger that you always were "Acting fast" or if not people as an adult tell you all the time that you are always on the move as if you are on the run. You can't sit still maybe you have or deal with ADHD. Every time you get a new idea, or opportunity, or you see something that could possibly get you ahead in life you are on it and you never think about whether this is the right move for you? Is this opportunity legit? or anything else substantial that you need to make sure that you land safely, if not safely at least have a parachute when you jump. You may also move from job to job similar to pile ll anytime you see even a milligram of bullsh*t you are out of there. "Miller when you are done running and want to make a home, make it with me." Book Quote from the book Caught Up by Liz Tomforde (love that book) it's about a female who is always on the run and she does a favor for her dad and nanny one of his teammate's son and when they start falling for each other he says that to her. I am getting this is more so from your higher self pile lll. When you are done running from your past, inner thoughts, poverty, chasing gimmicks, and temporary people go back to yourself and actually see what exactly do you want to do, what is your purpose, what is something you can build for your life that is stable and secure than these fleeting moments you keep trying to create for yourself. Some of you may be either in situationships that you hate or like to have a lot of flings only to feel lonely afterward.

Oracle: Boundaries, Life Purpose, Compassion

This goes back to the quote in your reading pile lll. Stop running from yourself and the things you really want vs the things you chase.... I may do a reading on this let me know if you want that or not. Either way show yourself more compassion and place boundaries on yourself not others. You have no problem in that department for a lot of you but others you need boundaries for yourself and others.

REMEMBER THIS IS MEANT TO BE A FUN READING AND NOT AN ATTACK.

Thank you to everyone who are subscribed to my Patreon and those who like and reblog my pick-a-card readings. I always appreciate you. I hope you enjoyed this reading.

Until next time, stay safe and blessed.

[scrubbinn]

_____ HRT: 15 months: “Human”

“Hey Mayday. How's my girlfriend doing today?... I hope you can hear me in there. I'm recording another tape for you in case you forget everything again. I just got back from the doctor, they ran some tests, still couldn't figure out what's up with my knee. I think maybe I'm just cursed, with this broken human body. I guess you don't have to deal with that now huh? Lucky.”

“It just sucks, you know? Not a single medical doctor in Canada can tell me what's wrong and then when suddenly, magic exists, it gets regulated so you can't use it for medicine! Ugh. Rules are dumb, why do we even have them. Also sucks that I have to walk here every time I miss you. Which is a lot. Why does everything have to be so shit?”

“Speaking of shit, you should have heard me go off on that doc when you first started… cocooning? I’m blanking on the word. But I just went off on that man, It felt so good just to throw everything back in that pompous jerk's face! He had it coming, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to go off on a medical professional. He does have his uses, I suppose. You weirdly seem to like him, and at least he can put in enough effort to care about your physical health. But you should have seen how he reacted to you, he makes me so, so, so, AAAAARG! Sorry, you don't like yelling right?”

“You know, when I heard about you passing out nearly half a year ago, I thought, this is it, I'm going to lose her forever. I guess I did, when she decided to forget me. That's not fair, I just, I can't help still being mad about it. After everything we went through, and everything you went through with our friends and family. This really meant more than all of those memories put together? God you're such a dummy. I wish I could understand you.”

“Getting to meet you all over again, I didn't hate it like I thought I would. No matter the memories, it really was still you. Just, a little different. Sorry I kept pushing you to remember something… Maybe it was wrong of me. But every time I saw your face, your eyes looked back like they were trying to remember anything. It made me kind of happy, like I was important enough that some small part of you didn’t want to let go of me. I thought we were making progress. But if we have to do it again when you come out. I might actually start to hate it.”

“...Hey, you are happy right? This is what you wanted, yeah? You know I'm ok with you not being human. When you told me you were thinking about this, I supported it. Though, I'm still having trouble getting used to it. I don't really know how to feel now that you're like this. I just, I want what makes you happy, and I know you want the same for me. It's just been difficult right now. To keep smiling. I… I went to that sushi place we were going to go to. They had really good unagi. I ate so much I could barely afford the bill, haha. I know if I go there again without you, it's just going to taste like nothing. If you're not there with me, what's the point? This moment. The world has color again, I can taste things again when I'm in this room, and it hurts so much because you're not here. I'm sorry I… I'm trying not to cry in front of you hun. I'm sorry.”

* * *

“You don't mind if I stay here tonight do you hun? I don't really feel like walking back home right now. When I’m with you I- um, hello?”

“Oh didn’t realize anyone else was here? You’re Abigail right?”

“And your May’s mom right?” Are you here to see her?”

“Yes, I haven’t actually checked in since I heard the news. Is that. Her?”

“Pretty sure yeah. Unless there’s another girlfriend shaped cocoon that I missed. D- Do you need a tissue?”

“No, I’ll be fine, thank you… Pardon, but would you be able to answer a question? I don’t really understand this whole therian thing. I’m still a little shocked when Mich- Mayday said she was doing this sort of thing in the first place. I’m fine with it, I support her. But, did she need to do this?”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“Well I mean, did she need to change? Isn’t it just safer to hide? She’s doing such a brave thing but there are so many people that might hurt her. It's my job to worry about her, and I know this city is better and all with this sort of thing, but what if she gets attacked when she visits, what am I supposed to tell my sister if she asks what Mayday is up to. My family doesn't even know her name is Mayday now.”

“...Oh. Oh, this is weird seeing it from an outsider perspective.”

“I'm sorry? What do you mean?”

“It's that you don't get it, I mean I forgot it until now, but you don't understand. It would have been more dangerous if she didn't do this. She's in pain, her gender, Her body, her species. They don't match her brain. It's not like it's a choice either. She's hurting. Her staying human, she might have made worse choices. Ugh, I'm sorry hun. I should have realized how much this means to you, I'll be here, for real this time. I'll be here for y…

Oh my god, it's tearing. G-g-go! Get a doctor!”

“What? Oh! Uh, right!”

“Hun! Can you hear me? It's me! Follow my voice!”

“A…b…i…

Mimic HRT: 15 months: “no longer”

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Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315, @aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywine

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

ARE YOU KIDDING?? PLATONIC YANDERE BATTINSON HEADCANNONS PULEASE 💕 💕

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒…

!!! GN reader, stalking, breaking and entering, hidden cameras, kidnapping, I feel really bad for Alfred…

Sorry if this is egregiously long and disorderly, I just have a lot of ideas with this one.

There’s a possibility the two of you barely know each other. Maybe you’re a worker at Wayne Enteprises, or just a stranger on the street who did a kind gesture to him once. He’s the type to get a friend-crush — where he wants to be your friend, but he’s too shy to actually talk to you — so naturally the next logical step is to follow you around all day to figure out where you live. This would honestly be the longest Bruce Wayne has ever been out in public during the daytime, granted in his Chevy Corvette.

(Alfred would probably start to get worried, seeing as Bruce always tries to return to the mansion as quickly as possible.)

I don’t think it would surprise anyone to know this man is a heavy stalker. He knows virtually everything about you, from your social security number to how often you brush your teeth. His journal even has a diagram of every freckle and blemish he knows about on your body, just in case he needs to identify your remains some day (he has a very grim outlook on the fate of everyone who enters his life). I’d like to imagine him having a separate journal for you, just to keep tabs on how you’re doing.

Hidden cameras around your house are a must. With his nightly obligations as The Batman, he unfortunately can’t stop by your window to make sure you’re safe as often as he’d want to, so he finds himself remotely checking in on you more than being there in person. If it makes you feel any better, he has the same exact set-up in Alfred’s room. It just makes him feel more at ease to have quick visual access to two of the most important people to him in his life.

Naturally, in order to install these cameras, he’d have to break into your house when you’re not there. This would turn into something he does on the regular, possibly even while you sleep. I at first felt like he may take a few keepsakes from your house as he does this, but I think it’s more likely he’d leave things behind for you instead. Maybe a generous amount of cash, new appliances to replace broken ones, refills of food you were running low on… who knew that The Batman was like the tooth fairy?

God, I have so many ideas, but a lot of them actually focus on Alfred. Bruce is the type to kidnap his new “friend” very early on, driving by his fear and anxiety of something happening to you. He’d obviously see nothing wrong with this; I mean, the guy stalks you and breaks into your hours, why the hell would this be out of the question? So, that got me thinking… how would Alfred react to this?

I wish I had a clear answer… but, again, I have so many ideas, and it’s hard to put fully flesh them out in a clear and concise way. But I’ll try to give you the bare bones, and possibly clarify should there be a follow-up ask.

Idea 1.) Bruce actually tells Alfred he kidnapped you. Well, maybe he’d say something more on the lines of, “I had to save them, I had no other choice,” but Alfred’s a smart man who easily reads between the lines. Hell, maybe Alfred’s had his suspicions for the longest time, walking in on Bruce watching your security feed or discovering his separate journal about you, but the butler tried to rationalize this, as he didn’t want to believe his young master was up to… whatever this weird shit was.

(I can actually see him confronting Bruce about his behaviors a couple of times, and even considering bringing this up to a professional, but that’s beside the point.)

Anyways, back to Bruce holding your unconscious form in his arms. He’d ask Alfred if a room could be prepared for you, his tone eerily casual considering the situation, and the poor butler has to put on his best calm act and convince Bruce to take you back home. While I don’t see him getting through to Bruce, there’s a small chance that he does, and you wake up in your own bed the next morning blissfully ignorant to your own almost-successful kidnapping (all thanks to the butler).

(Now I’m thinking about Bruce holding you up to Alfred like, “can we keep them??” And Alfred has to be like, “no, Master Bruce. Put them back where you got them from.”)

From here on, Alfred decides to try and herd Bruce’s strange obsession with you on his own, too scared to get professional help involved. There’s no way in hell he’s getting his young master taken away from him; not after he vowed to keep him safe to the late Thomas and Martha Wayne. And besides, Alfred did manage to convince Bruce to take you home in the end, so surely that means there’s still hope, right? He hasn’t failed his responsibility just yet…

Of course, as I said before, I don’t see Alfred getting through to Bruce in the end. It’s hard to say what Alfred would even do at this point. Maybe he threatens to call the authorities, which would hurt Bruce enough to feel the need to run away. This would start a huge manhunt for “the runaway billionaire” who “snapped under all the stress” (Alfred made sure to neglect telling police about him also being a kidnapper, instead framing it as though Bruce was going through some sort of mental breakdown).

Don’t even get me started on how confusing this would be for you, LMAO. Imagine going to sleep one night, only to wake up in some sort of abandoned apartment complex with Bruce Wayne of all people. That sounds like a fun story to write, not gonna lie.

Idea 2.) Bruce doesn’t say anything to Alfred and instead keeps you in one of the spare bedrooms. It doesn’t take long for the butler to stumble upon you, narrowly missing the lamp you swing at him as you make your escape. Since you aren’t familiar with the mansion’s layout, however, you find yourself aimlessly running through the halls, and eventually into the chest of a confused Bruce Wayne, who just came out of the Batcave. As Bruce practically drags you back to your room, he runs into a disheveled Alfred, who obviously wants an explanation.

“This is my friend,” Bruce simply answers, a hint of fondness in his gruff voice. “I had to save them, so I brought them back here.”

Now, as I said previously, Alfred probably has had his suspicions for the longest time. So seeing you trying desperately to weasel out of Bruce’s grip mad him realize what his young master had really done. Like with the first idea, Alfred will try to calmly explain why this was wrong, making eye contact with your pleading gaze. But I think this conversation would go south quicker, since Bruce is much less willing to give you up now that you’re settled in. I can see him starting to tear up cuz yandere Battison is lowkey a manchild, I don’t make the rules, begging Alfred to let you stay.

This is the route where Alfred might feel it’s better to comply, at least temporarily. You’re a live hostage in this situation, and the stress of that is too much to make a definitive decision in the moment… and it doesn’t help that Bruce was starting to get erratic. So, he hesitantly relents, trying to ignore the hurt look in your eyes as you’re dragged back to your room.

Remember, this is only a temporary solution. Alfred could never live with the idea of Bruce doing this, and I can see him continuing to do his very best to convince his young master to let you go. Perhaps he may have to take matters into his own hands, helping you escape behind Bruce’s back…

Idea 3.) I’m keeping this one short and sweet; what if Alfred is just as much as a hostage as you are? Remember that Bruce cares just as much for his butler as he does for you, so it’s highly likely that he never lets Alfred leave the mansion either…

[broomstickart]

The Piece of Violence

Part 1: Dream Come True

You and Ghost are separated from the group and make it to a safe house. He bandages your wounds and tells you to sleep. Where he then catches you talking in our sleep in which you may have been having a seggy dream including none other than Ghost himself.

CW: Unprotected P In V sex, fingering, general debauchery, pet names if you're not into that (sweetheart, love, darling), kind of rough, he puts his fingers in your mouth idk

3k words

No use of y/n

I don't know what happened. One second, we were making our way through the city then the next a rain of bullets, like that I got separated. Ghost found me quickly, assessing any damage I may have taken. Wrapping a makeshift tourniquet around my leg until he could see the extent of the wound on my upper thigh.

Shit, I hadn't even realized I had been hit, "I'm sorry sir."

He didn't say anything which wasn't out of the ordinary but the look in his eyes was. He seemed, I have to be wrong, stressed? Worried maybe. That was cause for concern.

He hoisted me up taking most of my weight with ease.

"I can walk." I assured him.

He hesitated a moment before releasing me, nodding as I tested my weight on the injured leg.

"See, perfectly fine."

He grumbles something under his breath but then storms ahead. I'm not sure where were going to go or if we can even meet back up with the rest of the team. Regardless I follow, through the back allies until we get to one of the safe houses.

"Sit." He orders, the second the door shuts.

I comply, plopping down on the dingy sofa in the middle of the "living room" if you could call it that. Ghost immediately kneels in front of me and starts poking around the small gash high on my thigh. The image sent my imagination drifting to forbidden places, especially with my Lieutenant. A woman can only do so much. It has been over two months since anyone has come near touching me in even a professional manner. It's like the guys thought I'd crack at the slightest contact. Ghost is the only one of them to even seemed remotely interested in getting to know me when I joined the team a year ago.

He didn't say much but he listened, and paid attention. Maybe that's why I am flustered. I've let myself get too attached. He's my superior I can be thinking of him that way. But the way his hands feel on my thigh sent a shiver through me.

I have to shut my eyes and lean my head on the back rest of the dusty sofa thinking of puppies and rainbows. Mind out of the gutter you idiot.

"Take your pants off." Ghost grumbles.

"What?" my eyes flying open.

Another uncommon emotion flashes across his eyes, amusement.

"I need to dress your wound, considering you have one pair of pants I don't think you want me to cut them off." he responds.

"Yeah, yes, that makes sense." i stutter as he shuffles back to give me space as I shimmy my pants around me knees.

He didn't say anything else had he cleaned the small abrasion. It didn't even need stiches; I don't know why he's taking so much time to clean it. My imagination can't take much more of him between my legs before I get brash. Damnit, and the way he keeps glancing up at me assessing my pain level, which is minimal, is going to tip me over the edge.

He abruptly stands and drops himself into the matching dingy armchair in the corner, "Rest, you need it."

"It was a scratch, I'm fine, sir." I try and argue.

"Rest." He grunts, this time as an order.

Quickly pulling my pants back up I laid back on the sofa "Are we meeting the rest of the team somewhere?"

No response.

"Have you been in contact with them?" I ask again.

Annoyed at my lack of compliance, he crosses his arms over his chest, manspreading even more, if that was possible. My eyes flicked for only a millisecond to what was now at eyelevel with me before looking back up to his face. Where his eyes are already on me.

I cursed myself for getting caught objectifying him. Rolling on my side, in an attempt to avoid any unnecessary eye contact. I could have sworn Ghosts' eyes shifted to what I though was curiosity. I have to be losing my shit here.

I jolt upright, making the muscles in my abdomen ache at the sudden movement. The dream I was immersed in still floating at the edge of my mind. It made my cheeks flush and the ache between my legs unbearable. I can't be dreaming these kinds of things; it was borderline disgusting. My Baptist mother would be ashamed. Running a hand over my face, I trying to think of anything. But the only thing that flashes across my mind is what Ghosts hands were doing in my unconscious delusion.

"Sleep well?" he asks amusement dripping from him.

I snap my head in his direction. Caught off guard by the fact he was awake and by the question. He can't know what I was dreaming about, Ghost may be brilliant at reading people, but he can't see into someone mind.

"Why so quiet now?" He practically purrs, leaning forward bracing his elbows on his knees.

Shit. Mortification washes over me at the recognition that my fatal flaw had finally done me in.

"I was talking in my sleep." I mutter more to myself as a defeated realization.

"Quite a lot actually." He added cocking his head to the side. The hint of amusement still lingering.

All the times I had wished he would speak more because of that intoxicating accent, slipped from my mind. Because right now the last thing I want was for him to keep teasing me about a human reaction. I'm surrounded by a bunch of bulky muscled men all day, I'm going to day dream a little.

Trying to come up with something to say I unfortunately let myself get distracted by the state of him. He still had his mask on, boots and all but the tactical gear was shed on the floor beside him. Leaving his broad chest only covered in a too tight black t shirt. His arms exposed and good god his arms were lovely. I'm doing it again, god damnit I'm a disaster.

"Fuck." I grumble flopping back down on to the stiff sofa.

Ghost laughed, a deep booming chuckle that I've never heard come from him. It made me want to slap him or kiss him, maybe both.

I flung one of the throw pillows at his face "I'm getting some water."

"A cold shower might be nice too I bet." He called after me.

"Shut the fuck up." I barked back at him as I turned into the small kitchen.

Bracing my hands on the counter I attempted to calm myself to the point where I can look at him and not want to jump his bones. I'm failing miserably. The ache between my legs edging on painful.

"You know better than to speak to your superior that way, sweetheart." His voice sounds from behind me.

Now he's using pet names, great. I'm not going to last if he keeps fucking with me like this.

"I'm not in the mood for one of your role play scenarios, Simon." I snap at him, not turning to even look at him. If he gets to call me sweetheart the only logical thing is that I get to use his real name.

He hums, the sound closer behind me than expected. Then his hands come to rest on either side of mine on the counter caging me in. His torso flush against my back as he curls himself around me.

I can hear the blood rushing through my ears as I try and steady my breathing. The feel of him behind me and the feel of what he's working with hard against my back sending goosebumps across my skin.

"Then I'm interested in the scenarios you do have in mind." His accent thick, every word laced with the same feeling coursing through every part of my body. Lust.

Any restraint I had left dissipated as he spoke. After a deep breath I pushed back into him.

His right-hand shooting to my hip, gripping it hard enough to earn a soft whimper from me.

"Say no and I'll stop, okay?" He says firmly nuzzling the side of my neck.

I nod quickly as another pitiful noise escapes me.

"Use your words," He commands, "I need to hear you say it."

"Yes, fuck, yeah okay I got it." The words pour out of me as a plea, and I scramble to turn and face him, but he holds me in place.

Simon didn't need to speak to let me know he was in charge here like he was when you were working. The mere presence of him is commanding, and it only made you wetter that it was the same with situations like this.

His hands find the hem of my shirt and strips it from me. His movements were hurries and rough but with a sense of urgency that truly proved he wants this as much as I do. I was completely naked in front of him in a matter of seconds, still facing that counter. His hands roaming the curves and dips of my body.

Surprisingly, I wasn't self-conscious being so exposed in front of him, he's one of the few people I trust with my life. Not to mention, the way his rough calloused hands danced across my skin sent electricity through me. Setting every nerve on edge.

He's taking his time and I'm growing more antsy by the second, but I suck in a breath when his hand roams lower on my stomach, then lower.

The growling moan that rumbles from deep in his throat the second his hand reaches my cunt, made the hair on the back of my neck stand at attention.

"So wet for me already and I've hardly touched you." His voice gravely. His index finger makes agonizingly slow circles around my clit. While his other hand grips the back of my neck pushing my forward bent over the counter.

My hips moved on their own, trying to get more friction. Simon lets out a satisfied hum as obscenities flood from my mouth in a string of pleas and curses. None of which came out coherently.

"Oh, darling you're already a mess." He teases giving me a light but firm smack to my ass "Can't even think straight, can you?"

He was right, hearing him talk so much, made my head mush and his hands on me where the only thing holding me together. His fingers still working at an unbearably slow pace set my skin on fire. That familiar tension coiling low in my stomach.

Simon ground his hips into me from behind, and I groan in frustration when I realized he still had his clothes on.

"Simon," I beg, grinding back into him again "please."

His hands left me only for a second, before he turned me around and lifted me, so my ass now rested on the edge of the counter. He was careful not to bump my, not actually hurt, hurt leg. Finally able to see him again, I noticed he had lifted his mask to rest on the bridge of his nose. He was perfect at lease the little bit of him I could see. Scarred yes, mild stubble, sure, but his full lips and strong jaw were breathtaking.

Simon slowly knelt in front of me like he has earlier tonight. Moving my legs to rest on his broad shoulders and brought his thumb to massage my clit, the sensation almost too much after all the anticipation. The rest of his hand held me firmly in place as. His lips pressing gently to the sensitive skin right above where the bandage wrapped around my upper thigh.

I almost came undone for him right there the guttural moan let out as I tried to control my breathing gave me away.

"You're holding back," he observed a coy smile playing on his lips.

"I want you." I gritted through clenched teeth.

"You have me sweetheart." He says cooly.

"I swear to God Riley if you don't fuck me already, I'm going to stab you-" my threat cut off by Simon's tongue licking a broad stroke across my pussy.

"Hmm, maybe I'll bring my knives next time, love" He groans plunging a finger into without warning. While simultaneously digging his teeth into the skin on the inside of my thigh.

The combination of pain and pleasure rolling through me made my head go fuzzy. His tongue sweeping over the spot soothing the slight sting of his bite. He adds another finger stretching me further. Not painful, but tight, and so full.

The air gets stuck in my throat ripping another strangled moan from me, tension coiling tighter in my stomach.

"That's a good girl," He purrs the timbre in his voice sending me over the edge writhing on his fingers as he began pumping them slowly. Coaxing the pleasure from me dragging and it out until I was a whimpering mess, but he didn't stop. His fingers kept moving, curling inside me hitting exactly where he wanted and his tongue swirling around my clit. Pulling more and more cries and moans from me.

The tension building again at a mind-numbing rate. He increased his speed as my breathing shallowed. My legs already shaky began to wobbly, my body on fire. I reached for anything to ground me, so I gripped the edge of the countertop, my hips grinding against his hand.

"That's it, give me one more. "He commanded, standing slightly nipping at the skin of my breast before wrapping his mouth around the sensitive point.

This one rolled through me in waves, each curl of his fingers, swipe of his tongue, sent a deep shiver through me. My whole body buzzing with release. He lets me come down slowly this time slowing down with me but still drawing the pleasure out as long as possible.

Once he was satisfied, Simon stands fully his free hand gripping my jaw, opening my mouth slightly. Removing his fingers from my pussy he gently places them on my tongue.

He groans as I instinctually wrap my lips around them sucking lightly, sure to keep eye contact. By the look that glossed over his eyes there no denying he's holding himself back. And of course, like any sane woman dancing on the edge of a violent man's sanity would do. I took him further in my mouth sucking harder. Swirling my tongue over the pads of his fingers.

"Needy, aren't you?" he practically whispers.

This is the most talkative Simon has ever been and he was right of course, I am needy. I need him, inside me and by the look on his face he needs it too.

Reaching between us while he was distracted, I gripped him through his pants, hard enough to get his attention.

"Is that what you want?" He asks glancing at me through hooded eyes.

I moan around his fingers raking my teeth against them gently.

"Hm," He releases my face crossing his arms across his chest "Go on, take em off." He says nodding permission.

My fingers, shakier than was expecting, fumble with his belt for a moment. Before he gently stops me, his hands on top of mine and places them on his chest after placing a swift kiss to one of my knuckles. Heat flushes my face and other parts of me actually and I lower my head slightly. He literally just had his fingers in my cunt and now I'm embarrassed. Brilliant.

He looks at me again as he discards his belt across the room motioning for me to continue. His faith, instilling a new confidence in me. Dragging my hands down his torso, over every ridge and bundle of tensed muscles until I reached his waits. Gingerly, I untuck his shirt, my fingers lightly grazing the skin low on his stomach.

A shiver ran through him and he rolled neck releasing a quick breath. A smile sneaking onto my face as I undid the buttons and zipper before wrapping my hand around him again. This time just his boxers between me and his skin.

He let out a hissing breath and grips the counter on either side of my hips dipping his head beside mine

"Carful, love." His voice a warning, his lips dragging across my collar bone sending butterflies to my stomach "I want to be gentle with you."

"I don't want you to be gentle." I whisper stroking him again, God he's huge.

"Your still wounded." His voice straining.

"I don't care." Another tug had him pulled a groan from him.

Nipping at my neck for a moment as if reconsidering what he really wants to do but ultimately desire winning out. He quickly pulls down his pants and boxers just enough to free his cock before thrusting into me.

"Fuck." I half moan half yelp.

He's massive bigger than anyone ive had before. It stings slightly being stretched this much but the fullness and his cock throbbing inside me, ushers in a new wave of pleasure as well.

Simon pulls away just enough to lock eyes with him, a hand brushing hair out of my face and resting on my cheek "Say stop I stop." He assures me.

"I know. I trust you." I say before I grab his face and kiss him roughly.

He moans into my mouth as I rock my hips to take more of him. Diggin his hands into my hair, he pulls my head back to place a wet kiss to my throat. Pulling out slightly thrusting in hard. Going deeper and deeper until he was bottoming out. The stinging subsided quickly, replaced with the frenzy of pleasure and need taking over.

He was rough and sloppy and I clung to him as he coaxed me closer and closer the edge with each heated thrust. Running my nails down his back only made him moan and pound into me harder, making my vision blur. He dragged his teeth across my neck Right as I toppled into another torrent of writhing bliss.

"Fuck you're so tight." He growls before gripping my face and kissing me roughly, taking my bottom lip between his teeth.

Both of us breathing heavy he pulls out with a wince, and I can't help the small cry of protest as he does so.

"I'm not done yet, love." He assures, picking me up off the counter placing me in front of the small table in the corner of the kitchen. Bending over it on instinct earned me a small smack on my ass as I look back at him over my shoulder.

He was breathing heavy his chest rising a falling rapidly and he had feverish look in his eye. Like he could go on for hours. I'm not sure I can make it hours, but I am more than willing to do my best. Simon ran his hands over my shoulders down my aback to the round of my ass where his grip tightened holding me there. Completely bare in front of him. Taking his time, like he wanted to remember this moment forever.

It left goosebumps on my skin and my heart began racing again as he leaned over me on the table. Pushing just the tip in as one hand braced himself on the table by my head and then other gripping my hip hard enough to bruise. The first thrust was slow, dragging himself into further than he had before.

"S-Simon." I whimper, desperate for him to move again.

"Say that again." He orders, slowly pulling out.

"Simon." The moan is more of a prayer for him to continue.

He seems to enjoy it none the less as his body twitches thrusting into me with a force that wobbles the table.

The hand on my hip dragging across my abdomen between my breast resting at the base of my throat pulls me into him. Only adding to the intensity of each movement. The rough texture of his clothing while he slides in and out of me hitting that sweet spot that sends a jolt of pleasure racing through me. His body wrapped around me as I'm wrapped around him completely at his mercy. My mind went numb, knew nothing but him and then intoxicating carnal need I have for him. That knot in my core wound so tight it was painful.

"Simon" I squeak, through panting breaths. I need more of him, all of him.

Lost in this little cloud of bliss I didn't hear the front door swing open. Simons body luckily shielded mine, not that I cared right now. Simon seemed too though; a primal rumbling sound rolled out the back of his throat in warning.

"Well, it took you two long enough." Soaps chuckled.

"Get the fuck out!" Simon growled without his pace faltering.

The door clicked shut and Simon went into a frenzy. His hands roaming every inch on my skin his mouth on my neck surely leaving a mark. My body shaking uncontrollably as the sudden rush of pleasure fogged my senses. Writhing beneath him his persistence driving me over the edge again. My ears rang, and my vision blurred around the edges as I pulsed around him. It was so much, too much, but still wanted more of him. His hips began staggering as he neared his own climax.

"Simon," I whine, "I want you to come inside me."

"Fucking hell." He groans doing just that. Spilling into me giving me what I wanted.

All of him.

He stays curled around me for a few moments as we both catch our breath. His thumb rubbing mindlessly at my hip in soothing circles. Taking in the last few moments in our little bubble before we have to return to reality. 

[jaybirdh]

Okay, so I have spent the better part of a year trying to write a Jayroy fic that I thought would honestly take only a couple of months. I was inspired by this other fic, and had gotten full permission, and I wrote loads for it, but nothing ever quite worked out.

What happened was I read That issue of Red Hood & the Outlaws.

I pretty much ignore the whole penguin beatdown thing (I also ignore the titan’s tower attack, but that’s another matter), I always want Bruce to be a good father and I have tended to write him that way.

Same with Oliver Queen.

However, I thought, within the continuity, it was very stupid and unfair that this incident never gets mentioned again and Bruce never encounters any repercussions whatsoever (all this assuming you want to believe that the “fight” was at all canon, which I don’t really), and I wanted catharsis. Sort of.

I wanted a reason for the main premise of the story to happen, and that seemed like the perfect opening for that, in addition to wanting to see some comeuppance.

That was the main downfall for this story. I got way too invested in the toxic familial relationships the New 52 spat out, and it kept going into all the wrong directions. I ended up disliking all but individual bits of it. It was too nasty for me to handle.

Add to that that I couldn’t seem to get a single characterisation right, and in spite of the great inspiration, the story had almost no plot, and I couldn’t figure out how to worm one in.

So I’m scrapping that effort, and starting completely from new.

The thing is, there was one bit I did really like, from Roy’s perspective, and I don’t want it to be completely lost, although I know it wouldn’t have anywhere to go in my new attempt.

It will probably showcase all the flaws I described, and may not be written terribly well, but I still liked the voice (even if it isn’t necessarily in character), and I liked some of the points I made about what I know of how they handled Sanctuary, so I’m putting it out here.

Content warnings will be tagged. If anyone thinks they can expand on this or do it better, feel free. Just remember to credit me or even piggy back on this post. If someone does write more to this, I would like to read it.

Writing under the cut.

Therapy sucks.

That was Roy’s professional opinion as a Therapizee. And his opinion about it mattered, damn it! Customer satisfaction, and all that.

It didn’t help that all his therapizers were robots or holograms.

In a way, it made it worse.

The robots could pretend to care all they wanted, but you always knew they didn’t.

And they were always recording. Roy was sure that was some sort of violation.

But seriously, you might as well be talking to a metal wall for all the good that did (a certain saying about first signs came to mind).

Add to that the fucking holograms.

They were meant to represent the people you had issues with, or who you cared about, giving messages of support and all that sappy stuff.

Roy guessed it was supposed to be cathartic, or some shit, but really it was just frustrating, bordering on maddening.

If he weren’t already in rehab for capes interacting with the stupid fuckers would have certainly put him there.

Really, there was nothing worse about yelling about a problem you had about your adoptive father to his face, then hear him say something you know he’d never actually say to you.

All it seemed to do was increase the issue exponentially, drive you crazy with the knowledge that you might be working through your problems, but the people the holograms were pretending to be sure as hell weren’t.

Roy found himself moving just as roboticslly through his day as his so-called therapists. Sleeping badly, missing his Jaybird, and finding he didn’t have much of an appetite for anything anymore.

He supposed the one good thing about it was that he was so numb he didn’t even feel the need for drugs or booze anymore.

Just…nothingness, really.

And missing Jason, obviously, but there wasn’t much he could do about that. His boyfriend was off being a hero, no thanks to Batman (may he lose the use of his stupid fortune and die alone in a ditch), and Roy had made a commitment.

He’d stick it out for his two months, and if it got better, great! If not? It’s only two months, and then he could go back to out-law-ing with Jason, no problem.

He’d never felt the loneliness, the sadness, that drove him to addiction when he was with Jaybird.

And yes, he knew being dependant on someone else for recovery was a Bad Thing, but it wasn’t that at all.

What he’d realised, almost the first day in this purgatory, was that he’d kept himself sober with Jason, so that he could be the best he could be for Jason.

Jason, who’d always told him—always showed him that he was worth more than Oliver or anyone else had ever treated him.

Jason, who’d always made sure he was okay, made sure he was managing, made sure he knew that Roy as a person was worth more than being wrecked by heroin and alcohol.

And Roy had believed it. Roy could believe anything Jason said about it, even when the other wasn’t there, because Jason was the one who said it. He’d believed it, even through that little…hiccup.

And when they had started working together, when it became apparent that this wasn’t a one-off, Jason had been scared. Scared of hurting Roy, but also scared of being hurt by Roy.

Roy had understood that, resoected that, and gone forward with all due caution, like when you approach a wild animal.

And then came Batman’s beatdown of the Red Hood, and it was only pure luck that he was in the area to save him, god knows the other bats probably hadn’t even noticed.

And that had been horrible, absolutely terrifying.

He had almost lost Jason.

They might never have had the chance to see what they could become, together.

But he survived, and they had their chance.

Unfortunately, Roy was the one with the issues this time.

He and Jason had finally (finally!) made real progress in their relationship, but this time it was Roy who was scared.

He’d gotten low again, the Titans had broken up again (after a rather disastrous attempt at getting together again), and every time he’d tried to talk it out with Ollie something else—not even something more important all of the time—always came up, and he’d left Roy hanging.

So he’d had a bit of a relapse, nothing major, just, y’know, way too many drinks at a bar, no biggie.

But he knew that tended to lead to something more.

That had scared him, badly.

Scared enough that even when he’d been feeling much better, even when he and Jason had come together againm even closer than before, he had gone to rehab.

He shouldn’t have. He should have remembered that recovery wasn’t linear. He’d had a dip, sure, but after, he knew he would have had a rise, he’d have just had to have waited.

But he hadn’t ever wanted Jason to see him that way.

He’d been told everything about Jason’s background by the man himself in an intimate moment, and he never wanted Jason to have to suffer through anything like that again.

So he’d left.

And so, he’d died.

Yeah, therapy sucked.

[henrysfox]

Can I say that I'm sad to see how Nick treats rwrb like his flop project so much so that he doesn't even use half a word of support even for the Emmys but the next day he posted directly about his next project and was online on IG and didn't like or support anyone that was at the ceremony as if he wasn't even part of that film and no I'm not saying he has to promote it while he's working on something else but a word for his coworkers, a word in all these months for the only film of his that is getting all this recognition... can I say it or am I just a hater?

Can I say that it's been sad for me to see Taylor do it all on his own these past few months and still see him take so much of that racism and shit from his fans and still don't get it the recognition he deserves? Nick is the only Henry we could have had and I love him, but I'm disappointed he didn't say a single word, just one. We weren't asking too much, other actors also have new projects but they participated in the fyc for the emmys for their previous project (see matt bomer and jonathan bailey) but he really seems to want nothing to do with that film or with other people but the bad guys, the failures for his fans are the ones who gave everything for this movie and it's important to them.

I'm proud of him who managed to get 8 projects in two years, but treating your most famous one like this hurt the fans and I don't see why it can't be said.

no, yeah, you can definitely say that.

to me it's just really weird behavior? nick has been very PR oriented for the last year or so and kinda like robot in his online presence.

like, i love him so much, dont get me wrong, but his online persona is very strange to me.

i don't think he wants to have nothing to do with rwrb - he was really happy and excited about the sequel at the announcement. it's obvious and visible he had a lot of fun filming the movie.

as for the rest of it, sometimes i feel like actors really don't think it's that deep? they treat the projects exactly like that - a project, a job they're on. they may love it, but at the end of the day it's just that. which is their right ofc.

i feel like rwrb might just mean more to taylor for the obvious queer reasons, but also bc it's the first mainstream, big and successful project he was in. it made him way more visible in the industry. ofc he's gonna wanna promote it and ride that high as long as he can. it brings him obvious joy and i'm happy about it.

i think nick and tay just have a completely different approach to projects. the way nick is treating rwrb is not different from the way he is treating his other films. it's exactly the same. maybe it's bc he's been in the industry longer than taylor, or maybe they're just that different. it doesn't mean that one is worse than the other.

at the end of the day, you can see they love each other. the cast keeps interacting online. i think fans (this is not a dig at you at all) in general have more intense emotions about media and tend to be very 'all or nothing' about it. everything is a bigger deal to them than it actually is - this is a part of being in the fandom, i guess.

i agree that nick's online presence these days is weird and imo it's too 'professional' and personally i don't like it. but i don't agree that he doesn't like or care about rwrb. he actually loves talking about it in interviews and brings it up himself, and only has good things to say about taylor and the rest of the cast and crew.

as for events, i think it's been said that it's not just the rwrb stuff he misses, it's his other projects too. he seems to show up only for things fendi makes him go to, and things that can help his career grow/make him more visible, like the met gala.

so yeah, ofc u can be sad about it! but at the end of the day, i don't think it's truly that deep.

[jmdbjk]

Dreamers wrap up

I can speak for most of us: I think we are all mesmerized by Jungkook’s tattoos...

And his muscled arms...

Look! his lil 7 behind his ear!

We never get to see this part of his upper arm so clearly. It looks like a full moon but with clouds obscuring it a little:

So he has a “white” moon and a “black” sun? 💀

Kookie was also hot in more ways than one:

Okay, back to being long-winded cuz I got shit to say:

So here is the blog post on my initial thoughts about this whole Qatar World Cup involvement. And then a follow-up of my thoughts blog post on the Dreamers MV after its release (scroll down some on the blog post to get to it). 

And now we know even more information surrounding JK’s involvement in that FIFA supposedly recruited just Jungkook for the gig. They didn’t want the other “kookies” just Jungkookie (that was cringey when I heard it). I know this is what was said in the media over there. But we also know FIFA is not the most honest and upstanding entity in sports. No entity in sports is. It’s about the money. Whatever it takes to make the most money...

I’m not saying this isn’t really what happened and we really do not know the timing of any of it or exactly how it went down. But I’m not gonna buy it wholly just because that’s how they said it did. I’m always that skeptical bitch, you know? 

It seems like when it was all coming out during the summer, we know now BTS had already determined how the rest of the year was going to play out. When FIFA approached BigHit, perhaps the answer was “no” the group is not scheduling any activities but individual members are available. And that’s how it could have gone down. Again, that’s just me talkin’ out my ass too. Because I certainly know nothing. I just know how the media works and how these major sports organizations are gonna spin things to their benefit. 

Kookie did a great job though, no matter how it all came to be.

The World Cup is over. Congratulations Argentina, well done. But the event had a major amount of controversy due to the fact it was held in Qatar:

1) People including spectators as well as teams and players, were told not to wear anything resembling a rainbow on their clothing...people were harassed about it IN PUBLIC by Qatari authorities. That’s not cool. Source story here.

2) Major sponsor, Budweiser, was told at the last minute before the opening ceremony they couldn’t sell beer outside the stadiums. A MAJOR FUCKING SPONSOR! IT’S BEER! AND SPORTS! THEY GO TOGETHER! BAM! Source story here.

Another source article here questioning the suitability of Qatar hosting this major sports event.

Kookie traveled to Qatar TWICE for his World Cup work. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that part of the world is very beautiful in its own way with its own charms. Kookie seems to have had a good experience overall, but he was there to work and then left immediately. He was surrounded by his entourage and protected. Chief bodyguard was there holding that umbrella over Kookie the entire time ready to stiff-arm anyone who came close. 

Being the kind person and professional he is, Kookie said nice words about his time there:

His opening ceremony performance did not go smoothly either, it is said his in-ears were not working. He was off key once or twice. I know he wasn’t happy about that. But the performance looked amazing.

And when we finally hear the Dreamers song, the “theme song” for the entire World Cup event... we learn these are the lyrics of the song:

Gather 'round now, look at me (Hayya, hayya) Respect the love the only way (Hayya, hayya) If you wanna come, come with me (Hayya, hayya) The door is open now every day (Hayya, hayya) This one plus two, rendezvous all invited This what we do, how we do

Too bad the actual setting was not so inclusive.

Last but not least... the fans who claim that Jungkook was not supported well by BigHit regarding this song. The song was not Jungkook’s song even though he performed it and may have written a few lyrics for it to suit his delivery better. The song belongs to (copyrighted by) Katara Studios so it wasn’t BigHit’s song to promote. BigHit’s involvement was exclusively to support Jungkook by providing everything he needed while he traveled back and forth and was over there working. 

When JK finally releases HIS solo album under the BigHit label with songs he concepted, wrote and recorded with official MVs etc that he has a hand in directing, is when he will have his real, genuine solo debut. I am very much looking forward to it.

[tobiasdrake]

Do you hear that? What's the sound? Oh, that's the sound of the BESTIE TRAIN COMING THROUGH, CHOO-CHOO!!!

A day in the life of Fubuki Clockford, let's goooooo!

Aww! The fortune teller says we're going to have good fortune. ^_^

Hey, don't laugh. This world features genetically-engineered homunculi and shinigami detectives who remotely kill people. Who says divination can't be real too?

I mean, she's probably trying to upsell a nearby casino but I'm going to remain optimistic. This will be our BEST. DAY. EVER.

Good for you, Fubuki! With your spotty memory and distractibility, you're exactly the kind of person that casinos prey on. Someone who could easily lose track of how much they can afford to spend or get swept up in the theatricism and not realize how they're being swindled.

Like... like off a building or something?

I dunno, let's see what the title card thinks.

That's a resounding yes! Come on, Fubuki! Gonna be sunshine and roses today!

Well. Probably not sunshine. In Kanai Ward. In fact, I think that would constitute a tremendously bad day, all things considered.

...protective rainclouds and roses!

Okay let's go see what "Someone fell from the sky" is about. Maybe they brought presents.

Aww, but I want to know your lucky number. It might be important later.

Also SQUEE I get to play as Fubuki. Y'all, I have been wanting to dump Yuma and go play as Fubuki since chapter 3.

...okay, chapter 2. As soon as Yakou was like, "She has an ability that will let her evade Peacekeepers with no trouble," I wanted to forget whatever shenanigans Yuma's going to get up to and go with her instead.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT, FUBUKI'S GREAT. FUCK YOU.

Incidentally, the window sign reads "COFFEE EQUALS *ONE* HAPPY DAY" so I am thinking we should get some coffee. <.< Though that might just be me falling victim to marketing.

Oh shit. There he is. In the middle of the street. Feral Population +1.

He had to have fallen from a building, right?

Okay, thanks for that clarification. Anyone know which building?

I realize you may find this hard to believe, and maybe harder with each passing moment that we talk, but I am a trained professional.

Or we can go with that as our opener, sure. I figured we'd slowly whittle down their confidence in us over the course of conversation but Fubuki's a master at going from 100 to 0 in record time.

HOLY SHIT HE'S ALIVE

We don't know how long he'll be conscious. Ask him questions quickly and see if he can answer. Then if he passes out, we can turn back time and ask different questions, over and over until Fubuki passes out. Straight-up min/maxing this interrogation!

I mean. She isn't wrong. These buildings are several stories tall and he landed on his face. On cement. His skull should be chunky salsa right now.

Clearly, Fubuki's great fortune is keeping him alive.

Three? What about three? Three what? Three muggers? Three rungs on a ladder? Three-

IS THAT A FUCKING D6 NEXT TO THE BODY!?

Did this guy use his final breath to read off the value on his die?

Oh my god, we're going gambling, aren't we? This case is going to involve gambling. Oh fuck.

...

We should go find out what our lucky number is.

I. Don't. Think he can, bestie. It's okay. Your Lucky Day powers scored us a valuable piece of testimony, unassuming though it may seem. Could you cast a glance at that die on the ground? I want to confirm what value it's showing.

Guys, it's nothing short of a Lucky Day miracle that he lived this long. He doesn't need an ambulance at this point. He needs a coroner transport truck to move him into the Restricted Area.

We have our mission. We must solve the mystery of the number three. At this time, our suspect list includes:

1 - The fortune teller lady. She seemed interested in pushing a number on us, and three is a number. Seems suspicious, lady. 2 - The Count from Sesame Street. There may be more bodies lying around. ONE! TWO! THREE MURDERS, ah ha ha! 3 - Yomi Hellsmile. Because he sucks and should always be considered suspicious. 4 - Halara Nightmare.

Right now, I'm honing in on Yomi as my prime suspect. Because he's number three on the list. Three's a pretty suspicious number to be at, Yomi. What else do you know about threes?

Let's go! Maybe we can get a little more context for the three.

You know what, that's a much better idea. We'll call that Plan B.

Because we should try it B-FORE trying to hear his dying words more clearly! If Plan B fails, we resort to Plan A-lternative.

...okay but I still want to know our lucky number. We can spare some time, right?

Drat. But. The number. It might be three. That could be a clue.

Plan B was a good effort but we didn't hustle fast enough. That might be because I stopped to try and get our lucky number from the fortune teller lady. I'm sorry for that.

How's Plan A looking?

Rudimentary first aid says that in the event of a possible broken neck, jerking the body around is--

I can't even finish my joke because look at his face. He can't take his eyes off that fucking d6. I wonder if it's a three again?

Nope, this time came up two. That's interesting. It implies probabilistic differences between "runs" of the same time period. I'm getting flashbacks to Zero Time Dilemma.

Hm... Okay, let's try again and see if we can get there faster.

[stuffie-medical-vents]

Hi, very nervous system here.

Listen our father is 100% a narcissist. He was our main abuser. (NOT SAYING NARC ABUSE IS REAL BECAUSE IT ISNT)

We have tried SO HARD to explain to him why the shit he did is abusive and not acceptable. We tried fighting back, talking with him, writing to him so he can't cut us off and yell, sending him screenshots of mental illness symptoms of ours and how they're disabling.. like we've tried everything. We don't have NPD but we have ODD so I get hating criticism or being told something if it isn't done right but we've tried being gentle, writing professionally worded letters... and he still thinks he's in the right and we're just an ungrateful confused little shit who doesn't deserve anything nice. I mean he's a shitty person anyway but I want him to understand us.

We want to try and explain why he's in the wrong.

Coming to you because I'm hoping you might have some answers as to how I might be able to get him to sit down and listen to me when I speak! When any of us speak!

I'm sorry if I didn't word anything write and any of it sounds shitty I don't mean it to! Fully support cluster PDs! I just think it's his NPD that's causing him to ignore our voice because he's stated he feels bad for some of the things he's done, which means he understands! He just won't listen to what we have to say and why what he did is entirely wrong and not justified and how if effected us.

I hope this makes sense.

Our mother was also very neglectful and she's definitely a narcissist too but she's done way more listening and learning than he has. She's gotten much better and even apologized. I want to help our father too and maybe even mend our relationship since he's apparently upset that we never speak to him and didn't wish him a happy father's day and he can't seem to figure out why. If we can get him to finally stop cutting us off and speaking over us I think we can make him understand! I just don't know how to do that.

Hello. This isn't the usual thing I do. If you want more further things, please go to @fluffy-clusterb-paradise. But I will answer. Anyone who sees this, please see the tags before clicking.

As someone with NPD, I will answer to the best I can. First off, I appreciate you being as respectful as you can. But remember, don't throw that word around if you don't know. But if your father has been diagnosed with it, then it's fine. And it's good he shows some remorse. I'm gonna try my best to explain and give some of my points of view.

People with NPD gain that due to childhood trauma. So he most likely went through something and never properly had a father, which caused him not to know how to be a proper father. Which is understandable.

Here's where my advice comes in. I think he should go to therapy. And maybe you could convince him too. But other than that, here's what I got to say. Have you ever heard of the talking stick or feather? Maybe try that exercise. Get a random object, and the person holding that object can only talk. You start first, then give him the object so he can talk. And the cycle repeats? Will this work? Maybe and it may not. But if it doesn't. Walk away. Make it obvious that you won't listen if he won't. But don't speak, that might make it worse. Just walk away.

Disclaimer: I can't say what it will work. And I am not always in the best headspace. So, my writing may act dramatic or irrational. But please also keep in mind that I've been abused badly most of my life. So I'm used to taking high measures and cutting people off.

What can I say, though?: I recommend asking him if he learned how to be a father. Asking him what he thinks about you. How he feels about his actions. If he knows how to help. Feel free to use any of these or add on. These are only suggestions.

[mysticheathenn]

What Soul Tribe is Coming in?

Hi there! Remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

The extended Patreon Members reading includes: (Both tiers)

What Soul Tribe is Coming in for You?

What will your Dynamic be like?

How and When Will You Meet?

Pile l:

What is your current tribe like? (Tarot: 8 of Wands (reversed), Death (reversed), Temperance, 7 of Pentacles)

Garbage! I’m sorry to say this pile 1 but your friends aren’t your friends and I think deep down you know this too. For some of you, your friends don’t like to see you win. Every time you mention something that you have accomplished or you did something or anything good for yourself they always feel as if they have to always one up you or try to diminish your light pile 1. If they aren’t diminishing your light, they are always trying to make sure you don’t change and hinder any progress you want to make for yourself. An example would be when you go on a diet, wanting to lose weight and every time you go out it’s always somewhere not healthy and they try to “It’s only a small fry”  or even do that dumb toxic shit where you’re eating a chicken caesar wrap while they have burger king and they go “Hmmm burger, wish you could have this don’t you.” I’m hearing for some of you, you’re the friend they always go to for advice or help but when you need something they are miraculously not there for you, or they don’t even try to give you any kind of good advice. Please know these are not your friends pile 1. I don’t know why you stay but you deserve better. I hope your tribe coming in is better for you.

What do you want out of the people around you? (Intuitive Message: Support & Accountability)

Support is the first word I heard from your guides that you want out of the people around you currently and for more supportive people to come into your life. Some of you may be struggling with depression and anxiety. I’m even hearing having suicidal tendencies that you sometimes have if not late at night sometimes throughout the day whenever you are feeling your lowest not having anyone to confide in. For a few of you, I’m hearing you want accountability from your friends as well. This may go both ways where you want your friends to hold themselves accountable for the sh!tty things they do and say toward you and other people. Maybe you have those delulu friends who think cheating is okay because they are female, and they have the mindset of men ain’t shit and they do it too. Maybe some of you need friends who will hold you accountable for your actions because you want to be a better person whether that’s having a glow-up or just needing to know your shit stinks too and you can’t be out here acting any kind of way.

Patreon Member Extended Reading (Both tiers) Pile ll:

What is your current tribe like? (Tarot: 8 of Cups, 2 of Swords (reversed), 9 of Cups, 8 of Cups, Queen of Cups (bottom of deck))

Before I start your reading pile 2 I just want to say in my best Mr. Rogers voice “I’m proud of you, I hope you know that.” This is my pile that has either no friends or very few people they can call friends in their lives if that. Some of you may call the few people in your life buddies or acquaintances which is nothing wrong with that because, in today's society, everybody is a friend because people feel some type of way by anything lower than that title. Some of you recently cut off your friends with the 2 of swords card, maybe for a while you didn’t want to but eventually, you just got to a place where you felt “You can do bad all by yourself.” I sense the loneliness from this pile because you have no to very few friends but at the end of the day you’re trying to stand on business with the Queen of Cups because you know your worth. You know that being alone is better than having fake friends all around you. This message is for a very few of you when I say few I mean less than 10 but some of you could have been the “problem” in your friend's group. Maybe you didn’t realize how high of a pedestal you placed your standards on that nobody can reach it not even god himself. Maybe you’re the type who once someone does even the smallest inconvenience you cut them off because you don’t have time for drama. While again good for you, it’s okay to let people be human and mess up from time to time for small petty things that aren’t disrespectful or intentional (meaning anyone could have made that small mistake).

What do you want out of the people around you? (Tarot: the High Priestess (reversed), (The Hanged Man (reversed), Knight of Swords, Strength (reverse), 7 of Pentacles, & 4 of Swords)

“G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S” I’m hearing the song Glamorous by Fergie. I’m not only hearing that but I’m seeing it as well you flying high taking trips on your boss babe sh!t. You don’t want anyone around you who isn’t trying to get their life together pile 2. If you aren’t trying to get a bag, better yourself, or do something with their lives you want nothing to do with them. Another song coming through for you is Latto – “It’s Givin” “It's givin' boss bitch (Boss bitch), It's givin' boss b!tch (Boss b!tch, it's givin'), It's givin' bad b!tch (Bad b!tch), Never ever play me like I'm average.” You honestly would rather be alone than let another person come and play in your face when you have so much going for you or want to bring in so much into your life pile 2.

Patreon Member Extended Reading (Both tiers)

Pile lll:

What is your current tribe like? (Tarot: 4 of Cups (reversed), Knight of Wands, Ace of Cups (reversed), The Fool, Queen of Swords (reversed),  9 of Cups (bottom of deck))

Unlike pile 1 your pile is neutral. It’s not bad nor good, it’s just the way it is. I’m hearing the song “The Way it is” by Bruce Hornsby  the lyrics go “That's just the way it is Some things will never change That's just the way it is Ah, but don't you believe them.” Pile 2 there may be a rift happening in your current soul tribe. You’re literally the medium group out of all 3 groups. Pile 1 needs to change friends, Pile 2 is their own boss babe best friend, and you’re in limbo with your friends' group. You have new beginnings and things are changing for the best for you but your friends and you are either a) not seeing eye to eye on things anymore that you used to bond over because you’ve leveled up mentally, physically, or emotionally, or b) You’re in different stages in your life and just drifting apart because it’s time. This pile feels like you have had most of your friends for a long time, for some of you, you may have had a few of your friends since middle or high school and you don’t want that friendship to end because the history you share with this person and possibly because you’re afraid of any new friends coming in. You fear untouched territory when it comes to friends, you want familiarity and nothing is feeling familiar to you anymore because you are leveling up. But unfortunately pile 2 this shift is inevitable, it’s bound to happen either now or later on at some point and I’m sensing if you keep progressing this shift from happening you are bound to but heads drastically and dramatically where life will force you to end things with your current group. It’s time for you to be open to new adventures and people. It’s safe and okay to let others in your life. “No new friends” by DJ Khaled ft Drake is playing in my head. This maybe for a select few of you but some of you maybe the type of friend who wants to bring their friends for the ride on this new path you’re going on similar to how rappers always bring their day one friends on the ride because they want to see them eat and be taken care of because you feel they deserve it after all you guys had to go through to make it.

What do you want out of the people around you? (Tarot: 2 of Cups, The Moon, Queen of Wands, Knight of Swords (reversed))

Instead of the question “What does pile 3 want from the people around them” I kept wanting to say “What does pile 3 need from the pile people around them?” and the phrase equal partnership came to mind when the 2 of cups came out as the first card. You need people who are going to also want to do action for themselves and not just get a leg up from you and your success or soon-to-have success if you aren’t there yet. With the moon card there’s something that you aren’t seeing with your current group of friends that the universe (god, allah, etc) is trying not to let happen as mentioned before a dramatic falling out where you and your current friend group will get hurt. The song No Hook by Latto where she speaks on her getting money and her whole family started acting funny comes to mind. If I’m being honest 21 Savage ft Post Malone song “All my Friends” is perfect for this group the lyrics go, “Lost a few friends chasin' hand money (On God) Had the same friends when I was bummy (Straight up) They should've went and did stand-up 'Cause when the money come, n*ggas act funny.” You need friends who are on the same level as you pile 2 this is in no shape or form elitist but more so you’re not seeing that the more success you get in your life the people you call friends are going to slowly start acting entitled to your new-found abundance and success and you deserve better than that. You deserve people who will be inspired that you did something awesome for yourself and want to do the same for themselves without clinging onto you or trying to stand in the same spot as you without doing anything for themselves except exist. Cadi B “Don’t be the why her type of b!tch, be the how can I get next to her and be like her type a b!tch”

Patreon Member Extended Reading (Both tiers)

Early Release

Thank you for checking out this Pick-a-Card reading. Be sure to check out the rest on Patreon.

I appreciate all of you, until the next reading.

Stay Safe and Be Blessed.

[clairelsonao3]

Characters Out of Context Tag

I have @j-1173 (whose post is here) to thank for this procrastination tactic today! The challenge is as follows:

Rules:

Include one character quote — of your choosing ⁠— from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like)

Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

Have fun, no pressure!

I gave myself some additional rules: Since I'm up to 23 chapters of GSNBTR, there's no reason not to include one quote each from ALL the major primary and secondary characters up to this point, so I'm going to do that (it won't quite equal out to one per chapter, so the MCs will get a few extra ones!). And because I'm doing that, I'm going to try to choose quotes that kind of encapsulate the "essence" of each character, or at least who they were at that point in the story. Wish me luck!

Oh, and I'm not going to mention who says what because that makes it more like trivia. And if there's anything I love, it's trivia!

Ch. 1

“Is that any way to talk to me?”

Ch. 2

"What have you so-called ‘experienced slave handling professionals’ been doing to the poor kid?"

Ch. 3

"Now a guy can’t even have sex with his own property without some social justice warrior calling it rape?

Ch. 4

“And calculus, and physics, and engineering. If I were free, I’d be a certified nerd,” he said. “And probably rich, too. But who’s complaining?”

Ch. 5

"You can tell me, you know." 

Ch. 6

“Your back isn’t nearly as pretty as your face, boy.”

Ch. 7

“You’ve been quiet. Secretive.” She kept poking her rhythmically with one of her sculpted coral nail tips. “But inside, you’re glowing. I see it.” Poke poke poke. “So there’s no use denying it, sweetie. What’s his name?”

Ch. 8

"Thanks for the relationship advice, dickhead. Have you ever even seen a girl naked without having to hide behind a bush?"

Ch. 9

“Nobody does anything for me. Ever."

Ch. 10

“And why shouldn’t they?” he said. “I mean, what are we trying to do here, Keith? Disrupt slavery, right? You’ve been in the corporate world too long, that’s your problem. You don’t question things anymore."

Ch. 11

"He's not mine," she said. "He's his own."

Ch. 12

"You could never, ever let me down,” he assured her.

Ch. 13

"And by the way, if you’re looking at the master being away as an opportunity to get away with murder, forget it.”

Ch. 14

“I’ve always wanted to see the ocean. But he didn’t take me, so I’m stuck here with a shit ton of time on my hands, and you’re still in the hole from the last one.” 

Ch. 15

“You know who I’m talking about. You have to find him, Louisa,” she continued. “Immediately. Normally I would never betray the confidence of a slave who came to me like this, but I can’t reach him now."

Ch. 16

 “The stuff he said about you was really awful, Lou; I’m not telling you this to cause drama. I just wanted to warn you.” She glanced quickly at the boy again. “Both of you.” 

Ch. 17

“She learned, and grew, and changed. She had a pilgrim soul.”

Ch. 18

“You’re so wrong. If I could only give you one thing in this life, it would be to give you the chance to see yourself the way I see you. Now and always.”

Ch. 19

“And to never, ever give up on me.”

Ch. 20

"You know you seem to have a real problem telling the difference between people and things?”

Ch. 21

“And everything I said the other day, about not giving up? It all still applies. Nothing's changed. Whatever happens. We'll figure it out. We always do. ”

Ch. 22

“Well, it’s a perk, no doubt. She invites some of us here sometimes to hang out, and of course, for such a rich guy, Jake is pretty chill. I like his vibes.”

Ch. 23

“What’s he been telling you? I don’t trust him. He’s a snake.”

I don't think I forgot anyone, but there is one character missing. It's better to leave them out at this point for spoiler-avoiding reasons, though.

I'm gently tagging @tabswrites @mysticstarlightduck @whither-wander-whump in case they would like to participate in this!

[stories-by-rie]

127 try once more like you did before

it is time for another thing for @flashfictionfridayofficial, minor warning for mentioned smoking, other than that it's actually very lighthearted i think, 780 words, hope you have fun <3

----

Someone too close was smoking too much. Usually Rabea was not that deep in someone else’s business--if they want to smoke, they can smoke! But this had to be the fiftieth cigar this evening because the smoke was actually clouding the tavern’s room and the whole atmosphere got a kind of mysterious that was too dramatic even for her tastes. Which really meant something, considering she sat in the darkest corner, the hood of her cloak covering half her face in shadows.

All she wanted to do was to get a tiny break before setting out into The Forest again, but perhaps journeying to the sea  was a better idea, to get her lungs cleaned out by the salty ocean air. Actually, it seemed like a better idea the more she thought about it. A change in scenery had never hurt anyone and, sure, she had that one hire to venture into The Forest and destroy the wall’s gate and obtain a book from the library behind it that may or may not be cursed, but her client was immortal so a little vacation should be in it. Right?

Rabea just got ready to leave when the door opened and a group of young travellers came in. It was impossible not to overhear their conversation and who was Rabea to deny her ears.

“I followed the manual to the T”, one of them proclaimed. “My sword is polished, the tinctures are correctly labelled and my water bottles filled. There is nothing that could go wrong.”

“Did you also work through the chapter “Waterfalls and Other Sopping Escapades”? I mean, we’re going into The Forest, how many bodies of water could we possibly encounter?” another wondered.

“Well, I mean I skimmed it and I know the gist, so I consider myself well prepared, still”, the first one said.

Rabea took a deep breath and instantly lapsed into a coughing fit. Those younglings were about to see the last of their days.

“Very reasonable”, another mumbled, “I also skipped the chapter about fighting fire witches. Everyone knows those live near volcanoes, there’s no way we’re going to encounter one.”

The rest of the group agreed in different tones of mumbles and Rabea felt herself nearly cringe to death. It would be an embarrassing end, but surely everyone would see its inevitability. Fate truly was the cruellest of all.

“If I may be so bold to interrupt”, Rabea boldly interrupted with a raspy voice that made her sound at least another 430 years older, “but I happen to have ventured into The Forest before and I cannot recommend the chapter about fighting fire witches enough.”

The group turned towards her, eyeing her with suspicious gazes and one or two blanching faces.

“Oh shit, are there truly fire witches in The Forest?”, one of them asked with a thin voice.

“Well, not exactly, but there definitely are burning bog snakes and handling them roughly works the same way as handling fire witches”, Rabea replied. Not that anyone had given her that advice when she had walked into The Forest the first time, but she was a great supporter of shared and free knowledge. So.

Suddenly each and every one of them had burning questions (well, not that kind of burning) about The Forest and Rabea found herself answering them all with enormous professionalism backed by her own experiences.

“Who even are you?” one of them asked with an impressed spark in her eyes.

“Me? I am Rabea.”

“Rabea the Ruthless?” one cried and suddenly, the whole group looked again as if they were ready to bolt out of the tavern.

“I? Don’t know?” Had she gained a moniker while she had been trying to conquer The Forest? Why had no one told her about this?

“Rabea the Ruthless who is known for slaying even the greatest beast, who has ventured into The Forest countless times and remained victorious no matter how many times she tried? Who ruthlessly goes against anyone in her way? That Rabea?”

Well. That sounded somewhat more dramatic than she had expected. With great flourish, she pulled back her cloak’s hood.

“Maybe? I sure have been in The Forest quite a lot. But only because I keep failing at my mission? So I am really not certain if that holds up to anyone’s expectations.”

The group stared at her now with a mixture of wonder and fear.

“If even Rabea the Ruthless keeps failing, how are we supposed to even make it behind the first line of trees?” the biggest of the group cried pitifully.

Rabea took a coughing sigh. It seemed like the ocean would have to wait.

[something-about-sunflowers]

hi!! i'm the anon who sent the message abt ur post + victim-blaming. i just wanted to reiterate, i have no stake in that discourse and add that if anything, i agree with the broad points of your post at most (again, i only go here in a secondhand way. what the fuck is going on with someone's boss cutting off their subordinate's toe, making their subordinate eat it, and then being called the victim of that situation. help what the fuck).

to clarify, i sent that ask in good faith, and it was sent mainly because of the fact that the framing of "[character] is too competent to be abused by [other character]/you must think negatively about [character]'s competence to assume he could not get rid of a hypothetical attempted abuser" makes me very uncomfortable and i wanted to point out i thought ur wording may be harmful. i do not think that you are intending to make a point about irl victims of abuse and am not accusing you of anything — sorry if my original ask didn't make that clear enough! i don't think you are attempting to hurt anyone and i very much am not trying to get you to take down ur post (or anything similar?), i just believe it can be incredibly harmful to frame the subject of escaping or avoiding abuse as being about competency in any form, and at most i would ask you to reconsider that wording.

Right, so. I think the main issue here is: You're lacking the context. You say you're coming at this in good faith and, again, I'd like to believe that so I'll respond in kind.

I'm just gonna kind of rapid-fire some of the context and we'll go from there, we don't have to actually get into it and to be honest I'm probably not going to respond if you message me again because I really don't see this conversation going anywhere productive, since, we've established that I'm not talking about real people.

The boss who did the maiming (cutting off the toe) and forced autocannibalism is the one certain people say is being abused by the subordinate that he did it to. Said boss - Ed - is literally, essentially, the boss of everyone around him at any given point, he's well liked as well. The subordinate - Izzy - is supposed to be his second in command but has no way to enforce his own authority because Ed isn't enforcing it, he's significantly less well liked than Ed. He's literally nearly murdered by the people he's supposed to be in charge of and all it takes for it to stop is an absent request by Ed for Izzy to bring him tea. As an example of how well liked and respected Ed is in comparison to how disliked and disrespected Izzy is.

Izzy says some mean shit to Ed - which, arguably, doesn't really seem to faze him much? - and apologizes later for it. He makes some deals behind Ed's back - for what he thinks is Ed's own good (I'm inclined to say he's not entirely in the wrong, for what it's worth, not all good but not all bad either) - accepts what he considers to be fair punishment for it (a punch in the face, for the setting I'm inclined to agree it's fair). Imperatively, after he says the mean shit and apologizes, he's trying to leave. Ed is the one who insists that he stay.

Another important thing to note: Ed has experienced abuse. His father was abusive towards his mother and while it's never shown or directly implied on screen, it can be inferred fairly easily that he was abusive towards Ed as well. Ed murdered his father. And while he has some trauma centering on directly murdering people as a result he has no qualms about having other people do the murdering for him. He orders a man skinned with an escargot fork, tied to something 'very heavy', and thrown overboard for being racist at him (fair). He's, arguably, committed several other murders directly and simply rationalized away his own involvement in the resulting deaths 'technically, the fire killed those guys'. This is what I mean when I say he could easily get rid of someone in Izzy's position (social and professional standing) who was trying to abuse him.

I could go on.

Regardless. I'll admit that maybe my wording in my response wasn't the best, though I maintain that my original post has nothing wrong with it. A misunderstanding on your part due to lack of context and by way of it not being a conversation with you does not fall on me.

My issue with the idea of the characters' competence in relation to the possibility of an abusive relationship is, actually, that I don't believe there is that disparity in their respective competency levels - at least not as wide as all that. I don't believe they're in an abusive relationship but it's not because I think one is too competent to be a victim. My mentioning their competency at all is because the same people who insist that it is abusive also insist on the disparate competence levels. It's infantilizing Ed to say that, even though he's so much better than Izzy in every way, Izzy still has this power over him. And again, I have to stress, Ed is the one in a position of power over Izzy in multiple contexts. It does reflect poorly on their interpretation of Ed to imply that Izzy is abusing him.

All that aside? I am not responsible for your discomfort and discomfort is not harm. I do try to be considerate in my wording but, as I said: I cannot, will not, and should not have to preempt every potential read of the things that I say. We understand that I'm not talking about real people, but fictional ones, that should be the end of this. After that, if you are still made uncomfortable on my views or my wording, the onus is on you to remove yourself. You came to my ask box. Anonymously. I do not know who you are to block you - and I'm honestly not quite sure how reliably tumblr blocks accounts of anonymous askers - you are more than welcome to block me for the sake of your own comfort. I will take no offense. I am a strong advocate for curating your own spaces online and the block button is my best friend.

Again, I'm not likely to respond if you send another ask. I honestly can't see this conversation going anywhere productive, as, we're really just talking in circles. That said, I hope you have a nice day, genuinely. And I do recommend actually getting the context and watching Our Flag Means Death, it's really not as serious as all this, it's got its darker moments but - ultimately - it's a rom-com. I'd maybe advise avoiding the wider fandom though, find yourself a small group and stick to it (ideally one that understands that anon hate, harassment, death threats, sui-bait, and doxxing are bad things regardless of what the target thinks about fictional characters - there's some crazy people in this fandom and they're best avoided).

[aspd-culture]

is it worth it to look into aspd diagnosis? or treatment? ive been questioning it a lot, considering the only person ive ever related to properly about mindset shit has dxed aspd and is convinced i have it. but does diagnosis/treatment really help much? (my roomate currently isnt in therapy, idk if the blog admin is but if anyone reading is maybe they could weigh in?) is it actually worth the hassle and label to get dxed if im pretty good at forcing myself to do shit and act "appropriately" anyway? theres shit other people in my life consider genuine issues, but i dont care myself for it or how they feel about it so itd be a big show in and of itself just making myself get in to see someone. if its not going to do anything for someone treatment resistance id rather just keep on how im going instead.

Oof, tough question. As a disclaimer, I am not a professional and I cannot give medical advice. The following is not in any way an attempt to sway your medical decisions, nor an attempt to discourage anyone from getting help.

I am personally professionally diagnosed and actively in therapy once a week, where I openly discuss my symptoms of ASPD with both my therapist and my psychiatrist.

First off, I definitely think that if someone with ASPD is advising you to look into it, that it is at least worth privately researching. That goes double if you find yourself relating heavily to them in ways you do not relate to prosocials (people without ASPD). Whether or not you have it, and whether or not you decide to seek a diagnosis and/or treatment, understanding this disorder and yourself better are never bad things. If you choose not to seek treatment at this time, knowing what you have or think you have (after a lot of research from many sources!) can lead you to developing safe and healthy coping mechanisms that can avoid you and your loved ones ending up negatively affected by your symptoms.

The question of if it's worth getting diagnosed is a tough one, and again I need to stress this is not medical advice, it is just my opinion. ASPD is a heavily stigmatized and misunderstood diagnosis. If you do not know your providers well, you could end up getting yourself into a situation where a doctor with stigma against ASPD may push you towards emergency treatment that you do not require. They shouldn't, and it's not legal for them to let their bias get in the way of their patients' lives, but it does happen.

If you are going to pursue diagnosis, I strongly advise taking it slowly and only doing so once you have built a strong relationship with your therapist. Mentioning your roommate's diagnosis without in any way implying you relate to their symptoms is a great way to slowly see how they feel about ASPD and make sure you are not entering yourself into an unsafe situation where they may abuse their power.

That said, even if you have a good provider, there are other repercussions to having a diagnosis to think about. The likelihood of adopting children is very low. The likelihood of being able to work in certain fields may be slim to none depending on your area's specific laws about private medical information. In some places, some jobs are allowed to require a full mental health workup from you including your diagnoses. Many of these jobs will not hire someone with ASPD. This is unlikely to affect you at a desk job, but very likely to affect you if you want to work in any caregiving position, or even around animals.

Additionally, if you are ever a defendant in court for any reason, the cards are considerably stacked against you if you are diagnosed with ASPD, even if you did not do anything wrong. The assumption is likely to be that you are guilty and/or a flight risk.

This is definitely not a diagnosis that, in the current state of the world, you want to be open about at work, with landlords, etc. There is little to no social accommodations for ASPD anyway, so keep this diagnosis on a need to know basis if you get it, for your own safety.

Because of all of this, if you are currently able to control your symptoms, you may want to consider if it is worth pursuing diagnosis.

That said, you do not need a dx to get help with symptoms. I honestly think everyone with the privilege to do so should try therapy unless they have particular reasons not to. It has been seriously helpful in my life, as someone with reasonably good control over my symptoms, because it lets me deal with the PTSD that caused the ASPD, and if I really get bothered by a symptom, or someone in my life does and I have nothing else to talk about, it's a safe place to get into that too.

No one ever said you have to tell your therapist everything. It's best to most times, because they are bound by confidentiality, but if you want to go there and only talk about specific things and never bother mentioning certain symptoms, that is an option. In fact, there are many therapists who prefer to work on symptoms directly as opposed to labeling things with diagnoses.

I personally found value in getting diagnosed, even weighed against the risks, because I needed to know what exactly was going on with me and have that confirmed by a professional. If you don't find value in that, there are therapists that agree with you.

Many therapists will have you make goals for therapy, but you can even walk into your intake with those goals and your philosophy on how you want to be helped and find out from day one if that therapist and you are a match in that regard. I would advise anyone looking into therapy to do their own research and find a therapist with good reviews and preferably who deals in the type of therapy you're interested in. I would say that anyone with trauma would likely have better experiences if they only work with trauma/PTSD specialized therapists, as to avoid a lack of trauma informed care.

At the end of the day it's your decision, but I found it can really help the balancing act of pretending to be normal if you have someone who is paid good money to let you unmask, talk openly about your symptoms and feelings on others, and get some advice that might make the whole controlling your symptoms thing easier in ways you didn't expect or think of.

Personally, I think the only way therapy would not help you is if the therapist you talk to is a bad match - and that's coming from someone who swore for many years that I would never go to therapy, and then when I tried it and got a bad match, gave up on it for a year. I'm glad I went back.

[weaselle]

we're all familiar with throwing money at a problem until it fixes it, but this asshat is the only individual i've seen take something with good design that is functioning really well...

and then throw billions of dollars at it until it's ruined

not just twitter either, if you look at all the things that are wrong with the cyber truck, its mostly stuff the auto industry has spent the last hundred years figuring out, like how to run wiring through the frame but still be able to go through a car wash, that safety glass is the best kind of glass for car windows, or why you shouldn't glue your car together.

and Tesla was the leader of the electric car world until he bought the company from the smart people who actually invented the tesla vehicles ... now the E.V. market is trending downward - unless you remove tesla's cars from the data

not to mention the way NASA has been perfecting space travel for like 65 years but this jerkoff insists on spending billions to do it worse himself

he's gonna do it with Neuralink too, mark my words - it was a great tech development. I've been following the progress for years and years. It was medical tech, before he got a hold of it they had progressed it to a point where a person who was so paralyzed they couldn't even move their mouth to talk, could, with the chip implant, move a mouse cursor on a computer, meaning instead of lying in bed locked in their body with no way to communicate or recreate, now they could talk to people and play games and surf the web etc. I think that is both super cool and pretty important. But what he does is he buys a developing tech after someone else has done the decades of work making it viable, then he ignores everything they know about it and runs it into the ground. Of course he doesn't give a shit about the paralyzed people, he'll try to make it the "next big thing", ruin it, and then blame the people who tried to tell him he was ruining it.

I've been saying he's a mean dumbass since he interfered with the rescue of those kids in the cave in Thailand in 2018 and then said the rescue diver who actually saved them all only did it because he was a pedophile (twice! on twitter to his, at the time, 22 million followers) which of course was totally baseless.

I'm so glad that the rest of the world is starting to see him for who he is. He's incredibly stupid, and also an asshole.

and before anyone brings up him being on the spectrum (because i hear that defense of him sometimes?) let me just say, that's just something he decided for himself without any professional input from any kind of doctor or therapist, and since he has shown himself to be both an idiot and a liar, i don't believe him for a second, but even if it was true, A: a person can be both autistic and a horrible person, those are separate things, and B: none of the reasons i hate him have anything to do with characteristics he may or may not have in common with autistic people.

fuck that guy in particular

elon musk buying twitter and publicly embarrassing himself is a net positive because finally people believe us when we say he is not that smart. so many videos criticizing him before his takeover always had to add the disclaimer 'sure, he's a smart guy, but-' and now you don't.

not that you ever had to but god its so much funnier when people try to argue that hes smart now