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sluttywonwoo · 1 day

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the roster | part one of three

pairing: christopher bahng + lee sangyeon + choi seuncheol x f!reader

summary: what happens when all the guys on your roster find out about each other?

warnings: see here (mdni!!!)

word count: 4.4k

series masterlist

You’d been set up. You should have known something was off when Sangyeon texted you to come over. He never texted you first. He was the most reserved of the three, always letting you be the one to reach out to him if you wanted to hook up.

You shot him an accusatory glare but he pointedly avoided your gaze, choosing instead to stare at something on the ceiling that was apparently much more interesting.

Seungcheol was the first to speak, of course. “Did you really think we wouldn’t find out?”

You figured there was no point in lying. They already had you cornered. “Yeah, kind of.” The three of them scoffed in unison, making you hold up your hands in defense. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other like that!”

In fact, you had chosen each of them precisely because you thought there wouldn’t be any conflicts of interest. They were all in different groups, all the leaders of said groups which you thought would mean that they were almost always busy with their members. You didn’t think they had time for friends. Let alone friends who were of different ages and also leaders.

Chris was the biggest gamble. You knew that he knows almost everyone in the industry and has a lot of friends but you didn’t think he knew the other two guys you were fucking well enough to put together that you were actually sleeping with all of them.

Everything had been going so well. You had perfected your system over the months, using the boys’ schedules to your advantage so there was never any overlap. Seungcheol got weekends, Sangyeon got Wednesdays and Fridays, and Chris got 3ams on Tuesdays, Thursdays, (and sometimes Fridays if you weren’t sleeping over at Sangyeon’s) because that’s just when he was free. You keep your Mondays and the last full week of every month free so that you have time for yourself. Otherwise you’d drive yourself crazy spending all your time with men.

You had never agreed to be exclusive with any of them. You made it more than clear that wasn’t what you were looking for. Still, they must have thought you weren’t seeing anyone else because all three of them had shown up to this confrontation and all three of them looked pissed.

“Is it just the three of us?” Chris chimes in.

“How much time do you think I have?” you mutter.

“Just answer the question.”

You look away from them. “Yeah, there’s no one else.”

“Lucky us,” Seungcheol sneers.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you wanted something casual,” you remind him, your tone icy. “You wanted to sleep around with no strings attached and I agreed.”

You’ve known Seungcheol the longest. You were friends first, through your job, but it quickly turned into something more. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, spending nights and mornings together. Going to sleep and waking up and stealing kisses in elevators. Talking on the phone for hours and planning dates in the different cities he was touring in.

He shut you down before you could get too delusional about it, though, stating plainly that all he wanted was a strict friends-with-benefits sort of situation. You still remember the feeling of your throat burning as you fought back tears, telling him that was perfectly fine, that you felt the same way.

You couldn’t let yourself get too attached to a man who didn’t want you in the same way you wanted him so you looked for a distraction and found one in Lee Sangyeon. You met him through Jacob, a younger member of his group. Sangyeon was the perfect distraction. He was charming and funny, never one to take himself too seriously. He was a real gentleman and it didn’t hurt that he had a huge dick.

You were the one to broach the topic of nonexclusivity with him this time, wanting to beat him to it. You knew exactly what all of these idols wanted. Choi Seungcheol had taught you that lesson early on. Sangyeon took it well, at least, as well as you expected him to. He told you he was on the same page as you, that he was just looking for something casual and you believed him. Now, looking at the expression on his face as he listens to the two other men talk, you’re not sure.

And then Chris just sort of fell into your lap. You weren’t looking for anything else. Juggling two men was enough work. You just so happened to run into him at some after party, stopping him to compliment his music. One thing led to another and you were shoving your tongue down his throat in a dark closet. Apparently he had a thing for praise.

Neither of you had to be the one to friend(swithbenefits)zone the other. You brought it up one night as you laid in his bed together and he was quick to agree.

“Yeah, I don’t have time for anything more than... this, right now,” he sighed. He sounded a little regretful about it, like he thought he was being an asshole despite you voicing the same sentiment.

So you hadn’t been doing anything wrong- even if your brain liked to tell you otherwise sometimes. You defined the (non)relationships with each of them, used protection with all of them, you weren’t leading anyone on... it had just so happened to get a little bit... messy, for lack of a better word.

“No strings attached doesn’t mean I want you to fuck my friends!” Seungcheol huffs, running a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t know you were friends with them!” you cry, throwing your head back onto the back of the couch in frustration and accidentally banging your head against the wall in the process.

“Are you okay?” Sangyeon asks, wincing.

The other two side-eye him.

“I’m fine. But why am I here? Did you bring me here just to yell at me?”

“Not exactly,” Chris says, smirking.

You look to the other men for an explanation but neither of them offer any further explanation.

“Then why?”

Chris slides his hands in his front pockets and shrugs. “Well, if you’re up for it, the three of us thought we might have a little fun with you.”

“What does that mean?”

Seungcheol steps forward and mirrors Chan’s stance, cocking his head to the side for good measure. You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes, knowing it would only make things worse for you.

To be fair, all the posturing would be a lot more annoying if they weren’t the hottest men you’d ever seen in your life.

“I think you know what that means,” Cheol adds, supplying absolutely nothing helpful.

“Obviously I don’t or I wouldn’t have asked,” you argue.

Seungcheol whistles and then looks to his friends. “Is she this bratty with you guys?” Chris gives an ‘eh’ hand motion whilst Sangyeon nods outright. “Yeah, I figured.”

“Did you think you were getting special treatment?” you taunt, surprising even yourself.

He scowls but doesn’t respond, probably in an effort to maintain some semblance of self-control in front of the other two. If it were just you and him, you’d have a hand around your throat already. And maybe that’s what you wanted. Maybe your mouth was working faster than your brain in order to get a specific... reaction out of them like you normally would. Or maybe your mouth just liked to get you in trouble.

From the way they were acting, they obviously hadn’t lured you here just to hang out. It had to be some sort of sex thing, right? You certainly weren’t opposed, you just needed to figure out what game they were playing so that you could be dealt in.

“We were curious about which one of us you like the most,” Chris says finally. At least someone was interested in getting to the fucking point.

You blink at him then turn to look at Seungcheol who just nods in confirmation. “You want me to... rank you? Why?”

“You’re the one who has us on a little roster,” Sangyeon points out, sounding a little mean for the first time tonight. “Surely you’ve thought about it before.”

You shake your head. “I haven’t. I mean, I like all of you guys! I wouldn’t hang out with you if I didn’t.”

“We don’t care about hanging out, we want to know who you think is the best in bed,” Seungcheol clarifies.

“What?”

“You know, who’s the best fuck?”

“Why do you even care?” you ask. “Like what are you getting out of this?”

“Just a little competition between friends,” Chris assures you with a wink.

“I... wouldn’t even know where to start,” you insist.

“We thought you might say that,” Seungcheol hums as he steps closer to you. “Which is why we thought we could test it in real time.”

“In real time?”

“Yeah, let us fuck you, then you tell us who’s best.”

“Right now?”

Seungcheol shrugs. “You asked why we brought you here.”

“And you just assumed I’d be down?”

“Yeah,” all three of them say at the same time.

It’s your turn to scoff. So that’s what they think of you. You shouldn’t have expected anything different, to be fair. It wasn’t like you were a saint. You literally had your dick appointments with all of them penciled into your Google Calendar every week.

“C’mon, baby, we know you by now,” Chris adds, plopping down on the sofa next to you. He stretches his arm across the back of it like guys like to do, opening himself up for you to lean into him if you wanted to. “Are you saying you don’t want us to take turns fucking your brains out?”

You stay silent.

“Should we take that as a yes?” Sangyeon asks.

“I’d say so,” Chris agrees.

Seungcheol claps his hands together decisively and then points to the man sitting next to you. “Chan, you’re up first then, yeah? That’s how you do it in your group, right? Youngest first?”

He’s mocking him but Chris doesn’t acknowledge it. If there’s one thing you know about Bang Chan, it’s that he’s not one to back down from a challenge, and while going first in this sort of competition must be daunting he doesn’t look the least bit shaken.

“Are we doing this here?” he asks the older two.

Sangyeon considers it and shrugs. “We should probably move to the bed, right?”

“Dude, it’s your house.”

“There’s more room on the bed,” Sangyeon decides, offering you his hand.

You take it and he helps you up from the couch. You step in front of the boys and lead them to Sangyeon’s bedroom, calling “it’s this way,” over your shoulder just to be a menace. You can’t see the faces they make behind you but you hear Sangyeon chuckle under his breath.

You flick on one of his table lamps and make yourself comfortable on the bed, patting the spot next to you for Chris to join you. He does and puts a hand on your thigh, squeezing your thigh comfortingly. Seungcheol and Sangyeon lean against the dresser across from the bed in the most non-awkward way they can manage.

Somehow, they both still look intimidating despite the fact that they’re essentially about to be cucked by one of their closest friends.

“What now?” you ask.

Chris brings one of his hands up to cup your cheek and leans in. “Now, we do this.”

He kisses you gently at first. Whether it’s to ease your nerves or his own, you aren’t sure, but he starts slow, building up to what you’re used to. His thumb strokes your cheek as if to reassure you as he deepens the kiss and slips his tongue into your mouth. His other hand that had been resting on your hip fumbles with your pants.

“Just pretend they aren’t there,” he whispers.

It’s impossible to do when you can feel the weight of their stares on you but you try to relax anyway, reminding yourself that something like this has been a fantasy of yours for a while now. You never thought it would actually happen and you definitely didn’t think it would be with them but with your luck you honestly shouldn’t be as surprised as you are.

“This isn’t going to work if you don’t relax,” Chris continues, low enough for only you to hear. “I kind of have something to prove here.”

“You don’t have anything to prove,” you assure him. “You’re great in bed.”

“They don’t know that,” he hisses.

“Sorry, sorry, I forgot this is just a competition to you guys,” you grumble.

He chuckles. “What, you want me to make love to you in front of them? Because I will.”

“I think that’d be even more embarrassing, somehow.”

“Exactly, now lay down and let me fuck you brainless so you can’t overthink anymore.”

He had such a way with words, that Bang Chan did.

He shifts so you can lay down and take your pants off. Your shirt goes next, leaving you in just your underwear. It’s the most exposed you’ve ever felt even though you’ve been completely naked in front of all three men before.

Chris snaps the elastic waistband of your cotton panties against your hip and smirks. “Cute.”

You pout, ready to defend your granny panties but Sangyeon pipes up from the other side of the room before you can.

“She doesn’t care what she wears over to mine because she knows it won’t stay on long anyway.”

That was actually true. You dressed the most comfortably to hang out with Sangyeon because you knew he wouldn’t care. It wasn’t like Chris or Seungcheol cared more, and you didn’t really dress up for them either, but there was a notable difference between the amount of effort you put in for each man, something you hadn’t noticed until just now.

“She wet yet?” Seungcheol asks, sounding bored.

You know it’s just a front so his jealousy and impatience won’t shine through because it’s not a very good one. Seungcheol is not and never has been good at hiding his feelings.

Chris shoots him a look. “I was getting to that.”

Seungcheol holds his hands up in defense but thankfully keeps his mouth shut.

Chris sucks in a breath of patience and brings his hand in between your legs, fingers tracing your slit. Your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment because you are, in fact, wet. You have been since they sat you down and stood in front of you like you were going to be scolded for doing something wrong.

“Yeah, she’s fucking wet,” Chris rasps. “Jesus Christ, baby. I bet your joggers are ruined too.”

His teasing makes you try to close your thighs around his hand but his reflexes beat yours and he catches your knee to force your legs back open.

“Nice try.”

“You’re the worst.”

His fingers start to wander beneath the fabric of your panties, feather light touches that already have you gasping for breath. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do, I really do.”

“Want me to stop?” he threatens.

“What happened to having something to prove?” you mutter back.

“Always such a fucking brat,” he muses, jaw tight.

“Don’t act like you don’t love that about me.”

“You’re consistent, I’ll give you that.”

Chris leans down and kisses you again, presumably to get you to stop talking. It works, of course. He lets his tongue explore your mouth while his hands explore your body, still not giving you what you really want.

Eventually, he slips a finger inside, taking you by surprise and making you gasp as you grab at him for something to squeeze. He offers you his arm and you take it, fingernails digging into his bicep.

“It’s just one finger, baby,” Chris coos.

“Feels.... good, though,” you squeak.

He adds another right as you start to get used to the feeling of the first and you have to take a deep breath to keep yourself from making another embarrassing noise.

“Don’t hold back. Let the boys know how good I’m making you feel.”

Seungcheol scoffs, tonguing his cheek. “You don’t have to fake it for him, babe.”

“Are you sure you guys are friends?” you pant.

They don’t answer, leaving you to draw the conclusions yourself. You’re sure they were friends... whether they would be after this was another story.

Chris crooks his fingers up, knowing you won’t be able to stay quiet once he does. He’s right. You moan, albeit quietly, and arch into his touch.

“So what are the parameters of this competition?” Chris asks the other two and turns his head towards them while he continues to work his fingers in and out of you.

“What do you mean?” Sangyeon asks back.

“Like, does foreplay count? Or is she judging solely based on our stroke game?”

Seungcheol considers it for a moment before looking to Sangyeon. “What do you think?”

“I think the judgment should include foreplay,” he says. “Foreplay is part of sex after all.”

“Good point,” Chris agrees. “Any other rules?” They shake their heads. “What about you, baby? Do you have any rules for us?”

You purse your lips as you think, trying not to lose focus with his fingers inside of you. “Just don’t go too hard. I do have to work on Monday.”

It’s only Friday night now, but knowing them, you’ll probably be sore for at least a couple of days afterward.

Chris laughs. “We’ll do our best. Right, guys?”

They mumble what sounds like an agreement and Sangyeon even gives you a thumbs-up.

“Can I keep going?” Chris asks you.

“You didn’t really stop,” you point out.

He had still been fingering you lazily throughout the whole aside. It wasn’t enough to get you off but it was certainly distracting. You had to try very hard to concentrate on what they were saying.

“C’mon, this is nothing,” he teases, bringing his thumb to your clit as he starts to kiss your neck. “How’s that?” he murmurs into your ear,

“G-good...”

“Just good? Must be doing something wrong, then.”

Before you can deny it, he adds a third finger, earning a loud cry from you this time. You feel him grin against your throat, hiding his smug satisfaction from the other two.

“Spread your legs wider for me, baby. Let them see.”

You do as you’re told even though it’s hard. It’s so much. You want to squeeze them around his hand again but you know you’ll only get told off if you do.

“Good girl,” he praises, making you whimper.

“That’s all it takes, doesn’t it?” Seungcheol mutters. “We just have to call you a good girl and you’re making a mess all over us, right?”

You squirm, arousal and embarrassment pooling in your belly. You can tell Chris wants to give Cheol shit for butting in when it’s supposed to be his turn, but he doesn’t because his words are technically helping him. You get even wetter around his fingers, a detail Chris elects not to share with the room.

You’re sure they can see it, though, or at least hear it. The sounds are obscene.

It’s mortifying. You want to die. But first you want to cum.

Two of your favorite things about Chris are his hands. They’re huge, especially for a guy his height, and absolutely gorgeous. Thick veins run across the backs of them from his knuckles up through his forearms- he’s a nurse’s wet dream, and yours. You’ve spent an absurd amount of time tracing them with your own fingers when you’re laying in bed together after hooking up and more often than not, it’s enough to make you want to go again.

He’s good with them too because of course he is. Bang Chan is annoyingly good at everything he does, including but not limited to: making you cum.

“Already?” Chris muses under his breath. “Does having an audience turn you on that much?”

“Sh-shut up.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say to someone who can take their fingers away any time they want to.”

“No, please!” you protest.

“That’s what I thought. Do you want to cum on my fingers? Or should I make you wait for it?” He’s talking to himself at this point but you answer anyway.

“I-I don’t know...”

“Probably should let you, huh? You’re still so tight.”

You don’t get another word out before it hits you, your body curling in on Chan’s hand as he finger fucks you through your first orgasm of the night. As soon as you come down, he’s taking his fingers out of you and sucking them into his mouth, kissing you right after so you can taste yourself on his lips.

“Good job, baby,” he murmurs into your mouth as he adds his tongue back into the mix. “Ready for me now?”

“Mhm...”

“Condoms are in the nightstand,” Sangyeon says, nodding in the direction of the bedside table.

Chris reaches over and pulls the drawer out, whistling at the other things he finds rolling around in the compartment.

“This hers?” he asks, holding up a vibrator.

“Who else’s would it be?” Sangyeon mutters.

“I don’t know what you do in your free time, man.”

He drops the toy back in its place and grabs a condom from the box tucked in the corner of the same drawer. The odds of one size fitting three different men were slim, but having slept with each of them you’re sure they’ll be able to make it work.

Chris hands you the foil packet, allowing you to do the honors of tearing it open with your teeth while he works on getting naked.

Seungcheol whistles jeeringly at Chan as he takes his cock out and pumps it a couple of times. You can see the back of Chan’s neck flush red but he remains steady as he rolls the latex on. You realize it must be difficult for him to have an audience too, though he has nothing to be self conscious about. Even if they aren’t showing it, you know the other two have to be impressed.

He’s the perfect balance of long and thick and just like his hands, defined veins run up the length of his shaft. You’ve spent what feels like hours tracing those veins with your tongue, watching him shiver under your touch. Most dicks aren’t pretty but Christopher Bahng’s certainly is.

“Ready?” Chris asks, rubbing your thigh with his palm.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

Since he already made you cum, he’s able to slip in without much resistance- but he’s big enough that the stretch is still intense, making your eyes roll back in pleasure as you stifle a whimper.

He gives you a moment to adjust once he’s fully inside you, teasing only a little bit with slight movements of his hips.

“God, that feels good,” you moan.

“I know, baby,” he murmurs sweetly, “you’re taking it so well for me.”

He brushes a couple of strands of hair out of your eyes so that you can see him properly. Obstructed view or not, he’s beautiful on top of you. His own bangs have already started to stick to his forehead and the pink flush of embarrassment has somewhat faded and turned into that of exertion, spreading from the back of his neck to his chest and face and matching the kiss-bitten swell of his lips. The muscles in his arms and shoulders are engaged with the effort it takes to hold himself above you, making him look even bigger.

His eyes are soft, even as the rest of his features take on a more sinister expression. That was one of the things that made sex with Chris so good. He genuinely cares for you, not just as a lover, but as a person. Lots of guys put effort into making the other party feel good during sex but that doesn’t mean they care about them. It’s not like that with Chris.

“Want it faster?” he asks you. You nod. “Ask nicely.”

You should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Please...”

He frees one of his hands and uses it to stroke your cheek. “‘Please,’ what?”

“Faster,” you squeak.

“Is that the best you can do?” Seungcheol scoffs from the sidelines.

“I’ll let her off easy this time,” Chris responds. “She can hardly think straight as it is, isn’t that right?”

Another nod.

You get what you want and Chan picks up the pace, snapping his hips into yours in quick, shallow thrusts.

“You’re getting tighter again,” he grunts, faltering imperceptibly. “You’re making this too easy for me.”

One of the other two makes what you assume is a snide remark but you don’t catch it because everything starts to fade into the background as you start to cum around Chan’s cock. It catches both of you off guard, you can tell. It isn’t unusual for you to finish from penetration alone but it usually takes a lot longer.

“Holy shit, you’re so- fuck, you’re going to make me cum.”

He keeps going after you come down, chasing his own release. It’s almost enough to send you into a third orgasm but he cums before you can get there which is both a relief and a disappointment.

You whine as the feeling ebbs and let yourself go boneless underneath him. He follows suit and collapses face first next to you on the mattress.

“Sorry,” he whispers to you. “I would’ve kept going but I didn’t want you to be too sensitive for them.”

You nod in understanding and pat him appreciatively on the back.

The room is quiet as the three men wait for you to catch your breath. Chris ensures you’re okay before rolling off the bed and joining the other two by the dresser. He mentions something about cleaning you up when you’re all done and offers to fetch you a glass of water.

“There’s a Brita in the fridge,” Sangyeon tells him after also pointing him in the direction of the cabinet that holds the cups.

He disappears into the hall and you gather what little strength you have to pop your head up and address the two remaining leaders at the foot of the bed.

“Who’s next?”

this has been in the works for way too long lol but lmk what you think! i always appreciate feedback!!

tags: @minghaosimp @butterfliesinthenightsky @lelestarmy @stolasisyourparent @brownbunnyb @tinkerbell460 @cixrosie

add yourself to the taglist here

#the roster #stray kids smut #seventeen smut #the boyz smut #skz smut #svt smut #tbz smut #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #s.coups smut #s.coups x reader #seungcheol smut #seungcheol x reader #sangyeon smut

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dcxdpdabbles · 2 days

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This is an anonymous answer, but I accidentally deleted it when I clicked out. It was asking for more Misplaced Baby. Hope you enjoy it!

Danny wabbled around the yard, stopping occasionally to pick up a rock among the gravel. He turns the smooth rock this way and that with a critical eye before dubbing it suitable. He turns to wabble back to the man that was watching him from under the shate of a near by tree.

"For you,Tati" Danny says, holding it out his Father. Dick's smile stretches clear across his face, carefully taking the gift as if it was made of valuable glass.

"Wow, this is perfect. Thank you, Danny." Dick brings the child in for a warm hug, grinning as the little one giggles. He places his rock in a near by pile made of more stones and a few sticks, that his son had gifted him over the last hour.

They were out in front of the Wayne Manor, enjoying the surprisingly lovely weather during its twilight hours. Danny has been with him for about three months now, and the child is slowly adjusting to his new family.

Dick could admit a part of his was worried he wasn't ready for his son. He hadn't known he was a father, and feels horrid he missed out on Danny's birth, first smile, first laugh, first word, first step, and who knows what else.

He is trying to make up for lost time. That's why he has called off a few days from work, using every last hour of PTO citing a family emergancy. He had to disclose the news of Danny with his boss, but thankfully, his Captain isn't the type to gossip.

Dick knew that at one point, he would have to introduce Danny to the world, but he hoped it would be later than sooner. Mostly, he knows the media will attempt to tear his sweet boy apart to get a good story.

Thankfully, Tim and Lucius claimed they had created a community among Wayen Enterprises PR department, who all signed NDAs on what they were preparing for. The legal and media storm that was brewing would take the best among them.

Dick was not looking forward to it.

A loud bark cut through the later afternoon air, and both Graysons swung their heads towards the front door. The barking wasn't agreesive so Dick knew that it was likely Damian taking his dog out for a walk.

As expected, Titus happily raced towards the child, who raised his arms and yelled the dog's name happily. Damian was not far behind, walking with his hands in his pocket at a slow and relaxed pace.

The great dane, ran into Danny's waiting arms slobbering all over the child's face as the toddler giggled. His large form nearly topppled the young one over, but Danny didn't seem to mind, reaching up to embrace the dog with gusto.

Dick's heart melted.

"Richard." Damian greets, standing at his side with a perfect poster. Despite his insistence that he is not soft on Danny, Dick can't help but notice the warmth taken in his younger brother's eye when he gazes at his pet and nephew.

Case in point: in the crook of Damian's arm is a child's jacket.

Dick grins. "Hey, Dami, what brings you out here?"

"It is time for Titus' walk," Damian says smoothly, then as if just now noticing the cloth he was carrying, he humps " I can not enjoy this outing, however, with all this cargo. Surely Daniel can assist me with that."

"Danny help!" His son yells, finally getting the animal to stop licking him. Almost as if though he flew, Danny appears in front of Damian while making grasping motions up towards the pre-teen. "Danny, help!"

"Excellent; I appreciate the assistance." Damian nods, crouching down to quickly wrangle the child into his coat. Danny does his best to help by thrusting his arms through the sleeves as aggressively as he can in his haste, and if Dick could just take a picture of this moment, he would.

If he wasn't ninety-five percent sure, Damian would later fine it, delete it, and attack him in retaliation. It was a nice thoguht.

Eventually, Damian can zip up Danny's jacket—a bear-themed one that looks like Damian has skinned a teddy bear—and even flip up his hood, which has little bear ears. It is fluffy, as his son seems to have an adoration for anything soft, and Danny does not disappoint.

He instantly started rubbing his face against the sleeve of his jacket, laughing silly at the fur texture. Damian soaks in his reaction with a smile on his face, and Dick can't help himself.

"Danny, want to go with Uncle Dami on his walk?"

"Yeah!" Danny cheers, grabbing onto Damian's leg. "Up!"

Damian wrinkles his nose but still carefully lifts the child into his arms. He tucks Danny closely to his chest, ensuring the child is face him as he says "You are a warrior. Never become too soft."

Danny responds by reaching up and tugging hard on Damian's hair. The pre-teen nods, approving. "Good, always search for openings even in the arms of a ally."

Dick wonders if he should step in there- would that be something a normal father would disapprove of?- but Damain turns and starts walking, Titus loyalty at his side keeping pace.

Danny slumps against his uncle, leaning his tiny head on Damian's shoulder, and Dick has no choice but to follow. He can't help but huff a laugh as Damian starts receding proper etiquette to the child in his arms. The pre-teen seems convinced he can make Danny into a proper gentleman.

Surprisingly, despite the advanced vocabulary that Damian uses, Danny is easily able to follow the conversation, making appropriate short answers when prompted.

"There is no elegance in making a racket when dining. Slurping is for fools raised in barns. How do we avoid this?"

"Soup spoon"

"Correct." Damian beams as Dick studies them. He's wondered about that for a while. It's not about etiquette- heavens knows he's spent too many years under Alfred's watchful eye learning it- but Danny seems highly intelligent in some moments and in others seems to have the regular mind of a toddler in others.

Bruce had already tested Danny for a meta gene, having also noticed, but the results returned negative. In the same swoop, they ruled out Danny having magical powers, a non-human parent, and any mutation. He could also be like Tim, who was just born a natural genius with a high IQ, but that seems quite right.

Tim's brilliant mind shone through every moment of his life, even when he was naive and sheltered. Danny seemed to generally have only some areas of advance knowledge.

He was able to name the star constellations after flipping through one book with Jason- Jason read out load , acting like he wasn't cuddling with his nephew before Danny's naptime- but could not understand what the things in the kitchen were even after Alfred explained.

He understood everyone in conversations but seemed only able to follow along when someone put him in front of a TV or radio if it was created for toddlers. He spoke in small sentences- Dick was worried he was behind his peers in this- but could still make it clear what he meant and why.

Danny seemed to understand how to use computers, having found Tim's and gotten on the internet, to watch space videos without anyone teaching him how but seemed lost in how to use a cellphone.

Even his walking seemed off. Danny almost seemed to be used to walking with different feet, only to become as graceful as Cass when running.

Sometimes Dick thought Danny reminded him of a patient suffering from amnesia. As if though his memories where in there somewhere, resting until Danny needed them. But how much could a three year old lose?

If he is like Tim, maybe a lot.

If he wasn't, maybe none was lost, and his son just happened to be like that. He doesn't know, but Dick plans to be there for his boy's development and figure out what was going on.

"If anyone challeges your honor?"

"Going Ghost"

Damian nods. "Yes. Make them into ghosts"

Dick wonders where Danny's fasciation with ghosts came from. He just one night got up from his side of the bed in Dick's room, wabbled over to the large set of windows and stared at the stars.

"Ghosts Tati." Danny has whispered once he realized Dick felt him leave the bed. "They here."

Dick.....didn't like that. He texted Raven to check for any hauntings or demons that same night.

#dcxdpdabbles #Misplace Baby #Part 2 #Danny is a child but his old life leaks through #Dick and his family are detectives that notice the leaks #Damian is so happy to be a uncle #Fluff

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ninetailedfoxmanchi · 2 days

Text

The Northern Winds (pt. 2)

PART 1

Plot: Arranged marriage between the Lord of Winterfell and a lady from a minor house

MASTERLIST

Warnings: profanity, mention of blood, violence & death, menstruation, miscarriage, sexism and medieval notions of women, mature NSFW content (18+), possessiveness/over-protectiveness, brief mention of r@pe

Summary: Whilst Cregan is on a march against the wildlings, Lady Y/N navigates the ruling of Winterfell in his absence as she awaits his return

Words: 15k

A/N: There will be a part 3, with which this series will end (I think). The intro of this part is a bit long but it gets better I promise! (Cregan comes back 🤫)

Taglist: @nixtape-foryou @accountforreading123 @melsunshine @lovemesomevesey @goldenxshine @beebeechaos @mckennah123

@blonde-scandinav1an @letaliabane @answer-the-sirens @lilyed777 @travelingmypassion (I hope I didn't forget someone! <3)

***

It has been a week since the Lord of Winterfell took his host north to Last Hearth, the seat of House Umber, to fight against the wildling invasions. The number of his warriors and those of his sworn bannermen was strengthened by some three thousand men provided by Lord Jonos Whytefort in exchange for his daughter’s hand in marriage with the Warden of the North. Lady Y/N and Lord Cregan Stark were wed for near half a turn of the moon before he was bound to ride north. Although Lady Y/N was instructed in the ways of Winterfell’s functioning and her duties before Lord Stark’s departure, it was one thing ruling the North with her husband by her side and a whole other to do it on her own. Lady Y/N had noble servants whose loyalties lied with Winterfell to advise her, yet the burden of duty and responsibility weighed heavy on her shoulders. The North was a vast and colossal place to rule with hundreds of thousands of people who looked to House Stark for leadership. Even in the days before Aegon the Conqueror, the North knew no king but the King in the North whose name was Stark.

Winter is coming. The words resonated with Lady Y/N as if they were those of her own House. She thought them every morning when she woke up for her duties and every evening as she laid to rest. The emptiness of her bed at night proved an even greater challenge to Y/N than the absence of her husband at her daily duties. She was surrounded by people great and small whilst the sun was still in the sky. Yet at night, Y/N grew lonely and yearned for home, yearned for Whytefort. No matter how hard she attempted to persuade herself that Winterfell was her home now, Y/N had yet made no memories in this place, felt no familiarity nor true comfort. She found consolation only in her mare, Blackspur, and her ladies-in-waiting, particularly Lady Ellyn Mormont. Whilst Y/N did not mind the company of the other ladies, she had grown the closest to Lady Ellyn. They would often share their meals and walked the castle grounds, although they could not ride together for Lady Mormont had a terrible fear of horses. She was thrown off her mount when she was but a child, which caused Lady Mormont to break her leg. Y/N had not noticed it until it was pointed out to her but there was a small limp in Lady Ellyn’s walk because of this accident. Lady Y/N did not wish to make her companion uncomfortable so she shared her rides with Ser Tybald Cassel, the master-of-horse, or lately more often with Ser Harwyn, the master-of-arms. Whilst Ser Tybald was undoubtedly a man skilled and knowledgeable when it came to horses, he often gave the impression that if Lady Y/N had not been Lady Y/N Stark, he would not have paid her the respect she deserved on the account of her being a woman. Ser Harwyn, on the other hand, proved himself a man as loyal as they come and a pleasant companion on adventurous rides around the grounds of Winterfell. Lady Y/N grew even fonder of him than of Maester Bennard, who was also a tremendous help in navigating the ways of her duties as the Lady of Winterfell.

One day, as Lady Y/N and Lady Ellyn walked the glass gardens of Winterfell that were warmed with hot spring water on which the castle was built, Lady Ellyn asked her mistress whether she had been able to grow accustomed to living at Winterfell after near a moon of staying there.

“I imagine it is not the same now that Lord Stark is gone as well,” said Lady Ellyn as they sat down on a stone bench beneath an orange tree.

“No … It is not,” thought Lady Y/N saddened as she played with the sleeve of her lilac gown.

Y/N gazed around the glass gardens. Half of the plants in them Y/N had only seen painted and documented in books. They did not grow in the north, especially not in an area as mountainous as Whytefort. They would not grow here either if not for the thermal waters. Most of the plants were brought from the south through White Harbor in large wooden crates, tended to by maesters specialising in botany and herbology. There was a type of fruit that looked much like an apple, red and yellow with fuzz on its skin that reminded Y/N of moss. She could not remember what it was called, however. And another which seemed like pumpkin yet its flesh was green and sweeter than that of a pumpkin although the foreign fruit smelled similarly. There were also strawberries the size of pebbles unlike those as small as raindrops that grew in the mountains. There were vegetables a plenty too: all sorts of green leafy plants that were often served at nuncheon or for supper along with grains, seeds, and eggs. There were many medicinal herbs and roots as well, particularly for the brewing of potions and infusions.

Nevertheless, Y/N’s favourites remained oranges. She looked up at the big round orange fruits. “Do you suppose we could take one and share it?”

Lady Ellyn smiled to herself. “Of course, my lady. Everything you see is yours.”

Lady Y/N smiled as well although she still felt like nothing more than a guest at Winterfell, especially without Cregan in the castle.

“It …” began Lady Y/N, unsure whether she could trust her thoughts into Lady Ellyn’s care yet she had to speak to someone or she might go mad. “It is hard being away from home,” said Lady Y/N whilst Lady Ellyn’s smile slowly disappeared as she listened.

“I know Winterfell is my home now but I cannot help but long for the familiarity of Whytefort. I miss even the people I thought I despised – and I do, I do despise them still!” Y/N laughed but she might as well have cried. “It is only … It is only this feeling in my chest …” told the Lady of Winterfell as she held a hand over her heart as if to keep it from falling apart. In that moment, she really did think she might cry for everything that she had to leave behind.

“It seems to me that everyone expects me to fail, that they think less of me because I am not from as a great and noble House as they would expect the Lady of Winterfell to be,” spoke Lady Y/N evenly as she tried to contain her emotions. “Lady Daela—” considered Y/N, remembering the comments she swore were meant only as jests and the looks given to her by Lady Manderly when she believed Lady Stark was unaware.

“My lady,” Lady Ellyn cut her mistress off. “I believe Lady Daela’s moods may be a consequence of her having harboured notions of becoming the Lady of Winterfell herself.”

Lady Stark’s gaze darted to her lady-in-waiting. She felt a sting inside of her, an itch she did not only want to scratch but cut out altogether. Suddenly, the thought of Lady Daela made Y/N’s stomach twist into knots; not only of Lady Daela alone but of her and Cregan.

“I had believed you knew, my lady,” said Lady Ellyn. “That is why I did not mention it sooner. I thought you did not wish to speak of it.”

“Tell me,” asked Lady Y/N when so many things about Lady Daela suddenly made sense. The looks and the comments, her little japes and glares.

“I do not know much, my lady,” said Lady Ellyn. “As you would know as well, she is the youngest of Lord Manderly’s four daughters and all of them are already married to men of great and noble Houses: Tallhart, Mallister, and Arryn. White Harbor is one of the largest harbours in Westeros and the largest in the North. The match between Lord Stark and Lady Daela would not be unseemly.” Not like the one between Lord Stark and me, thought Lady Y/N with a heavy heart.

“But Lord Manderly is already fighting his own war at sea with the pirates from Essos,” thought Lady Y/N aloud. There was often news from White Harbor at the councils Y/N attended as the Lady of Winterfell. “He has no men to spare whilst my father has nothing but men.” And sheep.

“Indeed,” agreed Lady Ellyn. “Yet as far as I am aware, the match was never proposed by Lord Manderly. The prospect of Lady Daela’s hopes of marrying Lord Stark are but that – hopes and illusions,” Lady Ellyn gave her mistress a reassuring smile.

“I see,” said Lady Y/N, her blood boiling at the thought of Lady Daela and Cregan, and yet at the same time, Y/N felt a heavy weight in her stomach. She had already felt like everyone was judging her before Lady Ellyn told her of this – a match between a lady much nobler than Y/N herself and the Lord of Winterfell – and now the feeling only grew worse.

“If I may be so bold, my lady,” spoke Lady Ellyn when she saw the storm of thoughts in her lady’s features.

“Of course,” said Lady Y/N, “I wish nothing more of you than to speak plainly and in the manner you feel.”

“I long knew I would be a lady-in-waiting for the Lady of Winterfell when Lord Cregan would wed,” began Lady Ellyn. “Yet when I left Bear Island, I felt just as you do, my lady. Lost and alone, with everyone staring at me and watching me. I too had to leave my home and my family, my sweet little brothers and my lord father,” spoke Lady Ellyn, a sadness to her voice. “Even with Lady Daela, with Jocelyn and Harryett, I could not find peace here at Winterfell… Until you arrived.”

“Me?” asked Lady Y/N, her big eyes widening still.

“You were so kind to me – to us. Even when you need not have been,” said Lady Ellyn quickly. “We … We all bear names of great Houses: Manderly, Dustin, Karstark, and Mormont. But we … Lady Daela is devious, Jocelyn barely speaks a word without being called upon, Harryett is in her own world of gallant knights and pretty maidens, and myself … I cannot even accompany you at the thing you love most because of my stupid, stupid fear of horses.”

“And yet it matters not because you are a friend to me,” said Lady Y/N honestly as she took Lady Ellyn’s hand and squeezed it. "A true friend."

“I … I cannot make friends easily,” confessed Lady Stark. “Acquaintances, yes, quick friends perhaps, but not true friends, not loyal friends.”

“If not for you, I …” said Y/N as she looked away. “I would have no one to talk to but Maester Bennard,” she said. “He would have tried to invent a healing potion for my thoughts or ascribe it all to moonblood,” Lady Y/N laughed and Lady Ellyn joined her.

Just so, both the Lady of Winterfell as well as the only daughter and the oldest child of Lord Mormont breathed a little easier and shared an orange on their way back to the castle.

***

It was a moon’s turn since Lord Stark departed for north. Lady Y/N’s days were still filled with council meetings, settling disputes, and listening to the woes of the smallfolk and trying to find solutions. She hosted lesser members of House Dormand and later House Flint. If Y/N could not find the time to take Blackspur for a ride, she would at least take a walk around Winterfell. Yet she would visit the godswood everyday even if the sun had already set only to pray for her husband’s safe return. For the longer he was away, the less news arrived, and the more anxious Y/N grew. She prayed for her family as well; for her lady mother and her brother, and even her father, who was fighting against the wildlings alongside Lord Stark. If there were no duties waiting for her, Y/N could sit beneath the heart tree for hours, wrapped in her thick fur coat as she would lean against the weirwood tree. Whilst her own bed brought her nothing but sadness these days, Y/N encountered what little peace she could find at the godswood and sometimes in the presence of Lady Ellyn, when Y/N found the strength for company.

The stars appeared in the sky that night and the moon was so bright it made the evening frost glisten like crystals. There had not been any snow in a week yet the cold was even greater than before. Lady Y/N was returning from the godswood, hardly needing a torch to light her way as the moon was bright enough. She was more restless then normally and her body felt as exhausted as if she had climbed up to the top of the Iceraven. There were weights bound to her legs and a pressure in her stomach. Y/N had venison for supper with buttered beats and a slice of blackberry tart. The sweet must have been too much because Y/N had to steady herself against a tree and catch her breath. Cold drops of sweat gathered on her chest and neck before she bent over with nausea. All that she had eaten that evening left her body. Y/N leaned against the tall pine and tried to find the strength to return to the castle. She slowly made her way up the cobbled path that lead back. She had to stop twice when she felt too weak to continue.

As Lady Y/N finally made it to the castle, she was awaited by Lady Ellyn.

“My lady,” gasped Lady Mormont as she hurried to her mistress’ side. She took her arm as Y/N leaned against her friend. “Somebody call the maester!” called Lady Mormont. The servant girl nearby dropped the linen from her hands and ran to fetch the maester whilst Lady Ellyn escorted Lady Y/N to her chambers, her skin as pale as the weirwood tree.

“I do not need the maester,” spoke Lady Y/N weakly when she laid in her bed. “I only need some rest.”

“My lady,” implored Lady Ellyn. “You have to allow Maester Bennard to see you.”

“Tomorrow,” whispered Lady Y/N. “If I do not feel better.”

“At least allow me to stay with you, my lady. You must not be alone like this,” said Lady Ellyn as she helped her lady out of her clothes. She brought Lady Y/N her nightgown and a cup of water which Lady Y/N could not be more grateful for. Yet even simply drinking some water made Y/N nauseous again. Lady Ellyn fetched the basin for washing and held back her lady’s hair.

“I beg of you, Y/N,” spoke Lady Ellyn gravely. “Allow Maester Bennard to see you. My lady, you could be gravely ill—”

“I am not ill,” said Y/N as her eyes let in hot tears. She had known it for some time now yet she did not want to admit it to herself. She realized it that afternoon in the gardens when she joked with Lady Ellyn about Maester Bennard.

Lady Y/N rose her gaze to her lady-in-waiting, who could read the answer from her mistress’ eyes.

“You are with child,” breathed Lady Ellyn. Y/N nodded as salty tears slid down her pale cheeks. Lady Ellyn put her arms around her mistress. Lady Y/N’s hands clutched to her friend’s back as she sobbed.

“Are … Are you not glad, my lady?” spoke Lady Ellyn carefully and not without compassion.

“W-What … What if he … What if he does not return?” Lady Y/N’s voice broke. The thought of her alone at Winterfell without him was unbearable, what more alone but with his child. The child who would never know their father nor could their mother tell them much about him as they were only wed for half a moon before he had to march north. The child that she would love with all of her heart but would remind her of the man she had lost.

“Lord Stark?” asked Lady Ellyn.

Lady Y/N nodded.

“He is one of the best swordsmen in all of the Seven Kingdoms,” said Lady Ellyn with every confidence. “Everyone says so and not only because he is our Lord of Winterfell. He will come back to you safely, my lady.”

Ser Harwyn said so himself, Lady Y/N considered, although that is not what concerned her. She had seen Lord Stark train with the master-at-arms herself and many other seasoned warriors with whom he won every time. Yet Lady Y/N also remembered her husband’s body, his scarred chest. If the savage’s arrow had aimed but an inch lower and pierced Cregan’s lung …

There was a knock on the door with Maester Bennard awaiting outside. Lady Ellyn got up to speak to the maester whilst Lady Y/N managed to change into more comfortable garments.

Lady Ellyn asked Maester Bennard to return in the morning, explaining of her lady’s sickness – but never mentioning the pregnancy – and how she was feeling better already.

As she closed the door behind her, Lady Ellyn’s heart grew heavy. She had not known Lady Stark for very long but they had grown quite close in the recent weeks. Lady Ellyn wished to help, to comfort her Lady Y/N but she could not find the words that would do so.

“Lord Stark will come back,” assured Lady Ellyn once more. “And he will be delighted with the news,” she tried to cheer Y/N up. It worked because Y/N’s dark thoughts were replaced with bright, happy memories the child would bring to her and Cregan. She imagined telling him, mayhaps sending a raven or a messenger to deliver the news. Or she could wait for him to return and see for himself.

Lady Ellyn was sitting on the edge of the bed beside her mistress, gently caressing her hair. Although they had spent a lot of time together, she noticed Lady Stark was shutting herself away from others. She would take her meals alone more often and spend much of her time in the godswood. It must have been since she found out she was with child, Lady Ellyn considered. Whilst herself, Lady Daela, Jocelyn, and Harryett could somewhat bond over their duties as the ladies-in-waiting to the Lady of Winterfell, Y/N had no one to share her burden with, not truly.

“Allow me to stay with you tonight, my lady,” asked Lady Ellyn, her hand pausing on her mistress’ shoulder. Lady Y/N nodded, allowing someone in properly for the first time in as long as she could remember.

Lady Ellyn laid down in bed beside Y/N, who turned around to face her lady-in-waiting. Her eyes were closed as her tears slipped down into the pillow. They fell asleep together in silence, Lady Ellyn’s hand tightly wrapped around Y/N’s palm.

It was in the hour of the owl when Lady Stark woke in terrible pain. She had felt it coming for hours but half believed the pain was only in her nightmares. Lady Y/N whimpered in pain as she sat up in bed, her nightgown wet with blood. The candles were out but there was still the light from the hearth and the brightness of the moonlight through the windows. Y/N cried in horror, waking up Lady Ellyn, who sat up immediately. Her gaze followed Lady Y/N’s, her mouth parting in shock at the sight of the blood.

“Gods …” breathed Lady Ellyn as her mistress’ hands shook uncontrollably. “Guards!” called Lady Ellyn and got up. “GUARDS!”

Ser Martyn, Lady Stark’s sworn shield, burst into the Lord and Lady of Winterfell’s private chambers.

“Get the maester! NOW!” shouted Lady Ellyn, surely waking half of the castle before she returned her attention to the Lady of Winterfell. “It’s alright, it’s alright, my lady,” whispered Lady Ellyn soothingly over and over again yet she could not mask the doubt in her quivering voice at the sight of all the blood.

“N-No, no, no … No, no …” cried Lady Y/N as she stared at her blood-stained fingers. “Wh … What is happening?” she whimpered. Lady Y/N clutched to her abdomen in the moment of another striking pain, more painful than anything she had been feeling throughout the night. Lady Y/N’s nightgown was soaked with sweat, her wet hair sticking to her chest.

Although an old man, Maester Bennard rushed to his liege lady immediately. His assistants were with him, all three of them freezing at the sight of all the blood. Maester Bennard knew then that Lady Stark had been with child but no was longer so.

After the maester and his assistants did the best they could to stop Lady Stark’s pain and bleeding, they let her rest. Although Lady Y/N was given milk of the poppy, it only helped with her physical pain, which was nothing compared to what Y/N felt in her heart. The dawn had already broken and yet Lady Stark could not stop weeping since she had awoken in the hour of the owl.

All four of her ladies-in-waiting wept with her yet none could truly understand. Even Maester Bennard’s heart went out to his lady although he was a man of science, who placed logic and stoicism above most everything else, particularly feelings.

Nevertheless, Maester Bennard allowed himself to approach the foot of the bed. “Even if you had let me come see you last night,” spoke the maester gently, “I would not have been able to make a difference, my lady.”

Lady Stark was blaming herself for losing the babe and her eyes would not go out of tears like deep and endless dark pools do not run out of water.

“It is not uncommon for women to lose their first child, especially this early in the pregnancy,” continued Maester Bennard. “And they go on to have perfectly healthy children, my lady. Do not despair …” The old man wished to comfort her but Lady Y/N could not be consoled. A part of her believed Maester Bennard’s words. If one of her ladies-in-waiting had been in her position, Y/N would be sure to tell them the same as the maester told her. Yet she could not help but feel that it had been her fault. That she had not loved it enough, that she had not wanted it enough and feared for it too much, and that that is the reason why it went away.

Lady Stark’s chest broke into a heart-breaking sob as she clutched to her chest. Maester Bennard decided to leave his lady in the company of Lady Ellyn instead. She wrapped her arms around her lady but Y/N’s pain could not be contained. That day Lady Ellyn shared Lady Stark’s bed once again for Y/N could not bear to be alone with her thoughts. She took some sleeping drought prepared by the maester and drowned her pain in the depths of sleep.

***

The days which followed were the hardest. Lady Y/N spend the first few days in bed, recovering from the loss of blood, but mostly from the loss she felt inside. Lady Stark commanded the maester not to send a raven north to the Lord of Winterfell. If someone was to tell Lord Stark of what had happened, it was going to be Y/N herself. She recalled their final night together at Winterfell and how he said she might be with child by the time he returns. A part of him spoke with hopefulness and Y/N’s heart broke even further at the thought of it.

The recovery was hard. Lady Y/N could not even think of food, much less make herself have an proper meal, which did not go unnoticed on her weight.

“The servants will prepare anything you wish, my lady,” said Lady Jocelyn as she helped her lady get dressed properly for the first time in days. “Lemon cakes, apple tarts, anything you wish. Lord Stark will not be pleased to find you like this when he returns,” begged Lady Jocelyn and did the lacing on Lady Y/N’s dress.

The mention of Lord Stark made Lady Y/N turn around to look at her lady-in-waiting. Lady Jocelyn Karstark was plain of face with brows which would always have one believe she was saddened. Her hair was like wheat, her frame slim yet hardy. She enjoyed wearing gowns in blue shades as she thought it would make her hair seem more golden than brown. Yet what Lady Y/N learned of Lady Jocelyn was that she was timorous in the face of authority and did not care much for Y/N personally, rather what the Lord of Winterfell and his maester will write to her family of her service at the castle.

Once when in her cups, Lady Jocelyn confessed she wished nothing more but to be married. She never wanted to come to Winterfell and doted on a boy from her family’s castle in The Grey Cliffs. She was Lord Karstark’s youngest niece through his only remaining brother for fever took the rest some years ago.

The boy Lady Jocelyn spoke of had only his name but no House he belonged to. He was the castle smith’s apprentice. Neither her father nor Lord Karstark would ever allow for them to marry but Lady Jocelyn refused to lose faith. She sometimes accompanied her lady to the godswood where she prayed that the Lord of Winterfell should send her home and she could marry the boy.

Lady Stark felt sorry for the girl. She was only four-and-ten, and although a girl flowered, Lady Jocelyn was not yet a woman grown. She had yet to learn that life was not as simple as a maiden’s dreams or Y/N would have been a stable master’s apprentice or a knight in some lord’s service, trained in swordplay and travelling on horseback throughout the Seven Kingdoms. She had always wanted to see the yellow sands of Dorne and the Red Keep of King’s Landing. She wanted to ride the Rose Road through The Reach and have wine in some meadow outside Highgarden. And if she would have found the courage, Y/N would have even boarded a ship to Essos.

“Go and break your fast with the ladies, Lady Jocelyn,” said Lady Stark as she fixed her earrings herself. She wore a gown of deep juniper green with a slim headpiece of yellow gold and a matching belt.

“And have the servants prepare stewed beef with wine and cloves for nuncheon,” Lady Y/N instructed her lady-in-waiting. Lady Jocelyn curtsied and left Y/N’s private chambers.

Alone at last, Lady Y/N sat down at the table and helped herself to some cheese to break her fast. She was not truly hungry. She had not been able to gain appetite in days. Nevertheless, as the sweet and savoury taste of bread and cheese mingled in her mouth, Y/N’s body recognized the need she had been avoiding. Y/N had some wine with her food when a knock came on the door. Ser Martyn entered and bowed, announcing that Maester Bennard wished to see his lady. Y/N had half a mind to ask him to meet her later when the council was to take place.

“He speaks of a raven from the north, my lady,” said Ser Martyn. Lady Y/N’s heart stopped in her chest as she looked up at her sworn shield.

“Send him in,” urged Lady Y/N and got up immediately.

Maester Bennard entered her private chambers, a scroll of parchment in his wrinkled hand.

“My lady,” the maester bowed. “A raven flew in from the north bearing Lord Stark’s seal.” He handed the scroll to Lady Stark. She took the letter eagerly, but once in her hands, the parchment paper seemed to her as heavy as an sword of steel. Even if the news were grave, Y/N could not wait any longer. She broke the direwolf in the grey wax and rolled out the parchment. Her heart beat savagely in her chest as heat crawled all over her body.

Y/N left out a shivery breath.

“What is it, my lady? What word comes from the north?” asked Maester Bennard with haste.

“They are well,” breathed Lady Stark as her eyes welled with tears. The scroll in her hand, she leaned against the table, her chest raising heavily as her tears soaked the walnut wood of the furniture. Lady Stark took a deep breath as she collected herself and brushed the tears from her face. She looked at the maester who was visibly relieved as well.

Lady Stark offered him the scroll to read.

“They had already pushed the wildlings north of The Gift. It is only a matter of time before the host is defeated and whoever is left flees back across the Wall,” told Lady Stark as she sat back at the table with great relief whilst Maester Bennard read the news for himself. He nodded, a hint of a smile hiding in his usually unemotional features. He was neither a tall nor a strong man but the wisdom of books and age made his presence as prominent as any.

“Will you sit, maester?” asked Lady Y/N and poured the man who brought such joyous news from a flagon of sweet Dornish red.

“If it pleases my lady,” said Maester Bennard. Although they have always been courteous to each other and Maester Bennard was an indispensable source of wisdom with a deep personal loyalty to House Stark, Lady Y/N never found a moment to form a personal bond with Maester Bennard unlike with Ser Harwyn, with whom it happened almost naturally.

“The wildlings are just that, my lady, wild and untamed,” commented Maester Bennard on the letter. “Their kind may fight in numbers but not in form and organization, nor is their steel any match for ours.” He never doubted the strength of Winterfell or its lord, yet strange things may happen when an army goes on a march – disease and weather being just two of them.

Lady Y/N saw a wildling once. He was caught in her father’s mountains stealing sheep from the shepherds. The men brought him to Whytefort to her lord father. The man wore sheepskin and leather and seemed to Y/N no different then any man she had met other than in his choice of garments and lack of courtesy. Lord Jonos made his men cut off the wildling’s hands at the wrists before he was hanged and made an example to warn both the smallfolk as well as any other wildlings that thought of sealing in his lands.

“If my lady would consider writing back to Lord Stark,” suggested Maester Bennard carefully.

“I will write to him,” Lady Y/N nodded.

“I am sure my lord would wish to know of my lady’s recent condition,” agreed Maester Bennard. Lady Stark’s gaze rose to him, an unusual coldness lying in her eyes.

“No,” said Lady Stark. “I would not worry him. He needs a clear mind,” she concluded although that was only half of the truth. The other half was that Y/N did not know how she would tell Cregan what had happened. She did not know how he would react and if he too would blame her as she blamed herself.

Maester Bennard wished to speak, to persuade her, but Lady Y/N got up.

“I would have the council gather today, Maester Bennard. It has been too long since I sat in it,” said Lady Stark. Near a week had passed since she fell ill. The North had been in the capable hands of Winterfell’s councillors in the meantime, but Y/N would not allow herself to disappoint the Lord of Winterfell in failing to rule the North in his absence as well. She mustered all of the strength she had left.

“As my lady commands,” said Maester Bennard and left her chambers.

Y/N sat on the edge of her bed, her fingers running through the soft furs laid on her husband’s side. He will come back, thought Y/N. The smile slowly faded off her lips at the thought of it. She was grateful to hear that the warriors were successful, that Cregan was alive and well. She could cry out of happiness. But Y/N could not imagine telling him, not even at the insistence of the maester.

***

Yet another turn of the moon passed before the raven came with news of Lord Stark’s return to Winterfell. Some of the warriors remained south of the Wall to make sure the wildlings were gone, one of those hosts led by Daeron Whytefort himself whilst Lord Jonos returned to Whytefort with the greater part of his army.

Lord Stark’s host was to return to Winterfell half the moon’s turn after the raven of the same news arrived. The castle was in upheaval with the preparations for its lord’s return. There would be a feast held in the honour of the victorious host of warriors. The lords and commanders were to dine in the Great Hall whilst a feast for the soldiers and warriors of Winterfell was to be held in the winter town.

Lady Stark ordered the servants to prepare sweet beef, pork-and-onion pies, roast venison and baked mallards for the feast in the Great Hall.

Lady Y/N paced around the watchtower in her skirts of deep blue with embroidery of flowers in the string-of-gold on her long bell sleeves and ornate bodice. She wore her tear pearls with yellow gold and a cloak of deep blue and fox fur for warmth. Y/N watched the horizon every day, waiting for an army of men to appear in her sight. It had been so for days until a rider came in one of the evenings, announcing the return of Lord Stark’s host on the morrow.

“My lady,” said one of the soldiers who was with her atop of the watchtower. Lady Stark’s gaze followed that of the young man where it found riders on the horizon. Y/N’s heart began to beat harshly against her ribcage, threatening to tear her chest apart and escape. She licked her dry lips when she saw the banners of House Stark flying in the cold, northern winds.

It was midday when the host of warriors reached the castle gates. Lady Stark was waiting in the courtyard with Maester Bennard, Ser Harwyn and Ser Martyn, and countless others. Even the smallfolk who served in the castle gathered in the courtyard to see their lord’s return, at least those who were not busy preparing the feast.

The sound of hooves approaching echoed through the castle walls. Lady Y/N’s arms prickled with goose bumps. She held her breath as the riders arrived into the courtyard, Y/N’s gaze immediately finding that of the Lord of Winterfell. Lady Y/N’s chest quivered. Cregan’s hair was longer and his cheeks covered in yesterday’s stubble. Other than that, Y/N felt like nothing had changed, and yet everything. For a moment, it seemed to her that she was looking at a stranger, someone from a dream she remembered but did not know.

The Lord of Winterfell and his men dismounted as the stableboys and squires took care of their coursers. Lord Stark made his way to his wife with Maester Bennard and Ser Martyn by her side.

“My lady,” spoke Lord Stark, a warm smile hiding in the somber line of his lips. He took Lady Y/N’s hand into his, kissing the top of her knuckles and held it a moment. The touch of his hand felt so familiar and yet so strange to Lady Y/N.

“Husband,” breathed Lady Y/N quietly. Their gazes entwined as neither could manage to fill the silence with words and yet their eyes spoke a thousand phrases.

Y/N remembered to breathe and curtsied gracefully, “Welcome.”

“Thank you, my lady,” said the Lord of Winterfell and watched her as if he had just seen her for the first time. His grey eyes were neither cold nor warm, neither hiding nor revealing; at least not to her.

The Lord of Winterfell greeted the rest of his court whilst the commanders expressed their courtesies to the Lady of Winterfell. Y/N could hardly focus on them as her gaze kept escaping to her husband’s broad back hidden beneath a heavy cloak of wolf fur. Y/N’s eyes watered yet she was unsure whether it was from the icy wind or her husband returning. She could feel Maester Bennard’s gaze on her, however, hiding only one thought.

***

“I would have a bath, scalding hot,” Lord Stark instructed the servants as himself and the Lady of Winterfell reached their private chambers. The servants disappeared to fetch the water and the tub as Lord Cregan took off his heavy coat with a suppressed groan.

“Are you well?” asked Lady Y/N, not anticipating the strange awkwardness that lingered in the air after the comfort she had grown to feel in their time together but that was four moons ago.

Lord Stark smiled to himself whilst he hung his coat over one of the chairs. He had been longing to hear his wife’s voice in the long, lonely days that he had been away.

“I am well,” said Lord Stark as he took Lady Y/N’s hand and gently pulled her to him. “Only tired from the ride,” he spoke more quietly, leaning his forehead against hers. Lady Y/N wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist and came closer, resting her cheek against Lord Stark’s chest. He smelled of horses, smoke, and pinewood but she did not mind, not in that moment. Cregan held his wife, realizing how much he had missed her. There was nothing but blood and slaughter and battle everywhere around him, frustrated advisors and fellow commanders, and warriors impatient in the cold northern climate. Lord Stark’s mind often drifted to his lady wife, to Y/N. He longed for the peace of holding her in his arms, for the touch of her soft skin beneath his sword-calloused hands. He missed her big, pensive eyes and her warm, gentle voice.

“Have you been well, my lady?” asked Lord Cregan in turn. Y/N paused. The moment was perfect to tell him yet she could not do it.

“Yes,” spoke Lady Y/N quietly and nodded. In truth, she had been anything but. Ruling Winterfell in her husband’s absence was one thing, yet trusting her body and finding leave to grieve at the same time was a different matter entirely. When Lady Y/N was with her moonblood for the first time since she lost her babe, she wept. She wept from happiness of things going back to normal and she wept from sadness as the blood only reminded her of what she had lost.

The servants returned and prepared a bath for their lord. Lady Y/N stood by the window as she noticed the snow had begun to fall almost as if it knew the Lord of Winterfell had returned to his castle. The servants retired once they readied the bath, leaving their lord and lady alone once again.

Cregan began unclasping his thick, leather jerkin lined with warm wool.

“I can leave you if you wish,” offered Lady Y/N gently as Lord Stark pulled off his boots. He turned to her with a frown.

“I have been gone from you for neigh four turns of the moon, wife,” said Lord Stark. “I do not wish to be parted from you a moment longer.”

A blush crept to Lady Y/N’s face as her spoke those words, an even greater fever flushing though her cheeks when Lord Stark took off his tunic and breeches and stepped into the bath. The feeling lasted for but a moment, however, because Y/N’s gaze fell to Cregan’s built chest, which was bandaged beneath his armpits and across his left shoulder.

Lady Y/N hurried to him and knelt by the bathtub.

“What happened? You said you are well,” asked Y/N quickly, her eyes wide and her brows in a frown. She wished to reach out and touch the bandage yet she did not dare.

“I am,” assured Lord Stark, the hint of a smile returning to his lips. His wife’s concern for him warmed Cregan’s heart.

“But—” Lady Y/N shook her head, looking at the red-brown stain of a wound trying to disguise itself in the pale bandages.

“You have my word, my lady,” said Lord Stark as he reached his hand to Lady Y/N’s cheek. His thumb brushed against her soft skin. He leaned in slowly as Y/N’s hand reached just beneath his jaw and their lips met in a kiss not of lust and desire but of profound longing. Y/N wondered how she could find the strength to hold back and not kiss her husband the moment he climbed off his horse. An overwhelming set of emotions washed over Lady Y/N as she rested her hand on her husband’s cheek, his lips leaving ever so familiar kisses on her own. It has been too long.

Lady Y/N pulled away hesitantly and reached for air. Her husband’s eyes lingered on her lips before they shifted to her eyes, his gaze warm and full of longing.

“I should call Maester Bennard to attend to your wound. Gods only know what sort of pretender treated it on the battlefield,” said Lady Y/N, whose voice was grave with worry and even anger at the thought of some charlatan posing for a maester treating her husband’s injury.

“Later,” agreed Lord Stark to reassure his beautiful wife. “I would have this bath first.”

Lady Y/N nodded, still holding her husband’s hand that held her cheek only moments ago. It was wet from the water yet still Lady Y/N held it tightly, drawing shapes into his palm with her thumb. Her eyebrows were in a deep, troubled frown, her eyes like big pools of worry and sadness.

“What is it?” asked Lord Stark, not unkindly, yet his own voice was grave with worry and suspicion. Something was amiss, something must have happened whilst he was away for Maester Bennard’s eyes were also hiding something when he awaited Lord Stark in the courtyard. He saw the meaningful look the maester gave to his lady wife yet the meaning was still unknown to the Lord of Winterfell.

Lord Cregan’s brows hung formidably as he studied his wife.

“Hm?” Lady Y/N looked up. She felt as if she had been caught red-handed yet Cregan could not have heard her thoughts. “Nothing,” lied Y/N and pressed a soft kiss atop of her husband’s hand before she let it go. “I was only … I am glad you have returned.” Lady Y/N offered a small smile but she could not mask how troubled her mind was to Cregan. He had learned to recognize in their short time together when something was amiss with his wife even when no one else would notice.

“I should prepare for the feast,” Lady Y/N changed the topic and got up. Lord Stark did not question her any further yet his grey eyes lingered on Lady Y/N as she walked to the dressing area.

Lady Y/N had a gown made especially for the feast in the white and green of the field of House Stark’s banner and string-of-silver for its grey direwolf. The base of the dress was white with the hems of the sleeves, collar, and the bodice embroidered with dark green jewels, Myrish lace, and string-of-silver. Lady Y/N wore her necklace of emeralds and pearls and matching earrings gifted to her by her mother and had her handmaidens braid her hair for the occasion.

When Lady Y/N emerged from the dressing area, Lord Stark was already in his dark boots and breeches yet held off the tunic and jerkin until the maester would change his bandages. As the servants and the handmaidens left, Lord Stark’s grey eyes fell upon his wife wearing the finest gown in the colours of his House. His mouth parted softly.

“I had it made for this occasion,” said Lady Y/N when her husband would not speak. She felt a mixture of self-consciousness under Lord Stark’s gaze as well as some satisfaction at his reaction.

“I hope it pleases you,” said Lady Y/N as she locked her hands, offering a small smile.

“Pleases me?” breathed Lord Stark and got up eagerly. Yet before he could even take two steps towards his wife, the door of the chambers opened, announcing the arrival of the maester.

Maester Bennard brought his assistant, who carried a heavy yet ornate wooden box of herbs, potions, and medical supplies. Lord Stark’s gaze lingered on his beautiful wife a moment longer before he sat back down and allowed the maester to change his bandages. Lady Y/N stood by, watching it all from a distance. When Maester Bennard revealed a gash in Lord Stark’s chest just above his heart, Lady Y/N’s brows returned to a concerned frown. Whatever blood there was was old, dry and crusted on the bandage whilst the wound seemed to be healing. It was a cut caused by a wildling’s short axe who managed to steal into the Lord of Winterfell’s tent one night. The savage came at him with a dagger but did not know Lord Stark was still awake. Cregan knocked the man on the floor and took his dagger but the wildling recovered as they rolled on the floor. When the man got up, he came at Lord Stark with his short axe but managed only a weak blow for the Lord of Winterfell broke his arm when he had knocked him on the floor. Cregan got to the wildling’s own dagger and stabbed him in his side and then in his heart.

As Lord Stark told the tale of his new scar, he did not look at his wife. Cregan could feel her worried gaze on him with every word he spoke and did not want to give her any more cause for concern. Lady Y/N, however, had to hold her breath to keep the tears from her eyes as she listened, refusing to show her feelings, least of all in front of Maester Bennard. They have been working relentlessly since Lady Y/N recovered from that night, never speaking of it once since Lord Stark’s letter from The Gift arrived – other than checking on her health once in a while to ensure the lady’s recovery. Lady Y/N did not want to give Maester Bennard any more cause to see her as weak or incapable of ruling Winterfell in her husband’s absence. She made all the efforts to keep the council happy and Winterfell functioning as it should.

“Considering everything, the wound is healing nicely, my lord,” concluded Maester Bennard after he changed the bandage and stored away his supplies.

“Thank you, maester,” said Lord Stark as he got up and pulled on his tunic and jerkin. His cheeks were shaven clean and one of the servants must have shortened his dark hair some. For a moment, it seemed as if the march north had never happened, thought Lady Y/N, although in truth she felt as if four years and not four moons had passed since Lord Stark marched.

“Will you join us at the feast, Maester Bennard?” asked Lord Stark.

“I will. Thank you, my lord,” smiled Maester Bennard and bowed courteously. “And if I may, my lady, you look exquisite,” he added, turning to his lady and bowed as well.

“Thank you, maester,” said Lady Stark, slightly taken aback by Maester Bennard’s comment.

The Lord and Lady of Winterfell joined the commanders in the Great Hall where the feast was held. The music was already playing merrily as the lords drank on ale, waiting for their liege lord to begin feasting on delicious foods as well. Once the presence of Lord and Lady Stark was noted with everyone rising in respect before they sat down together, the servants began to bring dishes of beef and venison, meat pies, buttered vegetables, and even baked mallards. When all of the food was brought into the Great Hall, the Lord of Winterfell rose with a cup of ale in his hand.

“My lords,” addressed Lord Stark firmly, his voice booming and as solemn as ever yet unmistakably pleased. “Another march north is behind us and once again we have defeated the wildlings and sent them beyond the Wall where they belong!” he spoke with a heavy northern accent as the Great Hall roared with cheers and fists and cups slamming against the heavy oaken tables. “We protected our homes and we protected our people; our wives and our children—” the Lord of Winterfell continued but Lady Y/N’s heart sank to her stomach at the sound of his words. Her eyes rose to Maester Bennard, who was holding onto his cup of warm honeyed wine and watching his lord address his noble commanders. Still, Y/N wondered whether the maester wrote to her husband in secret, whether he told him of what had happened without her leave.

“This feast is for you! The finest warriors in all of the Seven Kingdoms and PROUD NORTHERNERS!” Lord Stark’s voice thundered through the hall as he rose his cup. The men cheered even louder and got up as well as did Lady Y/N, all emptying their cups to Winterfell’s victory over the savages.

The men dug into the delicious food prepared for them, having lived off stew and porridge for too many days on end. It was difficult enough to cook anything in a camp, much less something that did not come from a big pot for a great many people.

The Lady of Winterfell helped herself to some sweet beef and some buttered potatoes, having no more than a cup of wine all evening as she feared it might make her say something she would regret. For a moment, Lady Y/N considered it was all in her head – Maester Bennard’s burning gaze that she seemed to feel on her at all times. Nevertheless, when she rose her eyes to the maester, he was already looking at her. He averted his gaze when the Lady of Winterfell caught it. A part of her was furious with the old man and yet a part of her understood. He would not have his lord remain in the dark about anything, not even his wife.

Lady Y/N lost her appetite even before the desserts came. She made the kitchens prepare blueberry tarts and rice pudding with spices that warmed up even the coldest hands.

The Lord of Winterfell did not care for sweets yet he nevertheless had a slice of the blueberry tart. The tension at the high table could be cut with a knife, the mood no longer reflected only in Lady Y/N and Maester Bennard, as well as Lady Ellyn who sat by her lady’s side, but also in Lord Stark himself. The uneasy looks, the silence on both sides, where there was usually at least talk of the weather, made Lord Stark’s thoughts drift into dark and unsettling places. A seed of anger and frustration grew inside of him and it did not go unnoticed in a man who was usually as calm and stoic as a rock. He was tired and his patience was thinning.

“Would you tell me what is it that you are hiding from me?” suggested Lord Stark to his wife as he washed down the slice of tart with a cup of ale. The tone of his voice was harsher than he intended but once the words lingered between himself and Lady Y/N there was no taking them back and his wife’s silence only frustrated him more.

Lady Y/N stared into her husband’s eyes as if she were searching for something, something she hoped to recognize from many moons ago. She squeezed the fingers of one of her hands inside the other until it hurt. Lady Y/N licked her dry lips as she realized she would no longer be able to keep her secret to herself. If it would not be she who tells Lord Stark, the maester surely will.

“Will you … Will you walk with me?” asked Lady Y/N as she avoided her husband’s gaze.

Cregan studied his wife as his brows rested in a formidable frown but agreed nevertheless. “I will.”

The Lord and Lady of Winterfell got up from the high table and walked the grounds of their castle, its walls filled with the sound of merriment of its warriors. They walked the path to the godswood, the crowns of the pine trees blocking the snow some. Lady Y/N slowed her pace once they were finally alone and away from even the smallfolk attending the castle.

“Do you …” began Lady Y/N, not sure where to start. “Do you remember what you said to me the night before you left Winterfell?” she asked, her voice small and shiver-like. Her breath came out in small, white clouds.

Lord Stark looked at his wife as they walked. His face was frowning in such a formidable way that made Lady Y/N’s stomach twist into painful knots. She remembered her father and his anger.

“You asked me to return safely and I said I would,” said Lord Stark, his voice clear and sombre. Lady Y/N nodded but he could see that that was not what she meant. They walked down the path of cobblestones towards the godswood. It was narrow enough for only one person to walk it at a time. Lady Y/N went first, Lord Stark following on her trail. Y/N could almost feel his warm breath on the back of her head from his closeness. Goose pimples rose on her arms and legs. She held up her skirts as she passed some stairs until they reached the godswood, the heart tree, and the black pond.

“I told you that I loved you,” tried the Lord of Winterfell as they stood beneath the great, haughty weirwood tree. Lord Stark’s voice turned quieter yet remained earnest.

Lady Y/N’s gaze rose to her husband’s grey eyes as her entire body froze. Her heart broke into a million small pieces like a figurine made of glass shattering on the floor. Her eyes watered with tears although she had been doing everything in her power to keep herself from crying. She turned her head away and bit her lip to keep her chin from quivering yet it was all in vain. Hot, salty tears escaped her eyes and stung her cheeks as she closed her eyes. She could not make the words pass her mouth.

Cregan watched his wife, his own heart aching at the sight of her tears. A thousand and one thought had passed his mind on their way to the godswood. If something had gone wrong with the ruling of Winterfell in his absence, if there had been a falling out with one of the Houses, Maester Bennard would be sure to write of it to him whilst he was away. Yet another, more pressing thought weighed heavy on Lord Stark’s mind, a thought that made him burn with anger, with fury and jealousy unlike he had ever known before. If his wife had been unfaithful … He would not allow himself to believe that thought. He did not know what he would do if it proved to be true. Yet when he saw Y/N’s tears when he mentioned the time he told her of his love for her, Cregan had almost believed it – believed there was another man. But as his wife turned away, her body shivering with tears and a sadness so great that it threatened to break her, Cregan knew it could not be the love of a man that made her weep.

Lady Y/N’s small, delicate hand rested on her stomach as she looked down, her cheeks stung with tears.

“You might be great with child by then,” the Lord of Winterfell remembered his words from the night they last lied together. Cregan’s heart dropped to his stomach and he could not swallow the heaviness that formed in his throat. Furious with himself for his foolish thoughts and his harsh behaviour, Lord Stark’s mind overpowered with concern for his wife. He understood now too why the maester was involved.

Although Cregan was saddened about the babe, the feeling could not be compared to the sight of Y/N, his wife, in such a state of sorrow.

Lady Y/N’s chest allowed a small sob to escape, her hand closing over her mouth.

“Y/N …” spoke Lord Stark, his voice deep and hoarse as he reached for his wife. Y/N took a step back instinctively, her shoulders tensing around her neck as if she believed he might strike her.

“I am so sorry,” whispered Y/N as she shook her head, tears stinging her cheeks.

“If you will ever … ever be able to f-forgive me,” Lady Y/N’s voice broke as she made to kneel.

“Y/N,” Lord Stark spoke again, this time even more gently as he took her shoulders. The frown on his face was no longer one of anger and frustration but one softened with sadness and worry. Y/N’s eyes were red, her lashes clumped with tears.

Cregan pulled her into his arms. Lady Y/N resisted at first but Cregan held her tightly. At last Y/N’s chest broke into a painful cry, one with sobbing so sorrowful it made even the Gods cry. The face of the heart tree was lined with red streaks as the Lord of Winterfell held his wife.

“I am so sorry … I am so sorry,” spoke Lady Y/N over and over again against her husband’s chest. Her fingers were buried in his coat as Lord Stark held her head close.

“It is not your fault, Y/N,” assured Lord Stark with all of the authority in him but it made no difference to Lady Y/N. “You are not to blame.”

“I was so afraid, Cregan,” cried Y/N. “I was so afraid you would not come back … And it … It made it go away …”

“That is not true, my love,” Lord Stark spoke more gently against Y/N’s hair. “It is not your fault.” Cregan kissed the top of his wife’s head and rested his chin there as he held her trembling frame close to his.

“Maester Bennard said there was nothing he could have done,” whispered Lady Y/N tearfully as her crying soothed down some. “There … T-There was just s-so much blood.” Lady Y/N's chin quivered as she remembered that night. “I was so scared …” she whispered so quietly she thought her husband would not be able to hear but he did.

“It is not your fault, my lady ... I am here now, my love,” spoke Lord Stark quietly against his wife’s hair as he caressed her head.

“I thought … I thought you would be so angry with me,” spoke Y/N in the same voice.

“Why would you think so?” frowned Lord Stark, his body tensing.

“I only thought … I thought you wished for it …”

“I did,” spoke Lord Stark gently and cupped his wife’s cheeks and made her look him in the eye. “But not as much as I wish for your happiness and health,” he said earnestly. Y/N closed her eyes. She could not look into her husband’s eyes no matter how much he wanted her to.

“We will have dozens of children if that is what you wish,” said Cregan but he could not stop his wife’s tears.

“Two dozen,” tried Cregan again. Lady Y/N laughed a small laugh through her tears and nodded. Cregan wiped away the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs before he kissed her forehead. Their lips met as snow began to fall. Lord Stark leaned his forehead against his wife’s, his eyes closed whilst he took in the scent of her hair. He longed for her; not only for her body but for her company.

“Come, my love,” spoke Lord Stark quietly, his hand caressing his wife’s cheek before they returned to the castle.

***

Neither the Lord or the Lady of Winterfell got up at the break of dawn that morning. Cregan laid on his side with his wife’s arm hung over his waist as she pressed against his warm back. Even in her sleep, Lady Y/N could not make herself part from the safety of her husband’s touch now that he had returned. As Lord Stark began to wake in the late hours of the morning, he took his wife’s hand absently and pulled it to his chest where it rested in his. Cregan could hear her sigh, her nose nuzzling against his broad back and making him smile. He turned around carefully.

“No …” murmured Lady Y/N as her source of warmth shifted, her eyes still shut tight.

Lord Stark smiled to himself and guided his wife’s small hand over his side once again. He pulled her closer and watched her catch the last minutes of sleep before the morning would turn into day. He studied the colour of her beautiful hair and the line of her jaw and her nose, the shape of her shoulder, which disappeared from his sight beneath the covers. Lord Stark guided his hand from his wife’s ribs down to the curve of her waist, which made his body warm with desire. The feeling did not linger long, however, as Lord Stark’s mind drifted to his time away on the march and the loss not only he but especially his wife suffered. Cregan reminded himself to speak to Maester Bennard about Lady Stark’s health and what happened. He caressed his wife’s head and shifted his body lower so that he could kiss her forehead. Cregan left soft kisses on Lady Y/N’s cheek until she smiled through her sleep and slowly opened her eyes.

“What time is it?” mumbled Y/N just before Cregan softly kissed her.

“Late,” said Lord Stark yet did not seem to care. He had just returned from a march – he was entitled to a good night’s sleep for once.

“I can get dressed,” said Lady Y/N but snuggled closer to her husband’s body. The Lord of Winterfell smiled yet could not hide the worry that settled in him. His body was tense and his hands secured its grip protectively around his wife’s body.

Lady Y/N rose her head and looked at her husband. “Is something the matter?” she asked softly. After they returned to the castle last night, they only went to sleep. They had not been together since Cregan returned although in truth it has only been a day’s turn.

“I’m sorry I was not here for you when it happened,” said Cregan, caressing his wife’s cheek. All of the sudden Y/N was wide awake. She hoped they had closed this matter last night in the godswood.

“Why … Why are you sorry if I … If I was the one …” Y/N tried to find the right words without triggering any tears but that was harder than she thought.

“You had to go through such a terrible thing alone,” said Lord Stark solemnly. “If I were here—” But Y/N could not hear it, she would not hear it, and so she placed her palm over her husband’s mouth.

“Please,” pleaded Lady Y/N. “Don’t make me talk about it any further … I just want to forget.”

Cregan nodded and took his wife’s hand and kissed it. “Forgive me.” But Y/N only shook her head. She leaned in and softly kissed her husband. His large hand cupped her cheek instinctively as he brought her closer.

“You cannot imagine how I longed for you all this time, my lady,” said Cregan against Lady Y/N’s lips in a deep, husky voice of the morning. He shifted and leaned against his arm so that his wife laid beneath him. She wrapped her soft legs around his waist. Y/N realized how she too longed for him and his touch and how it was even possible they had not been together yesterday already. She pulled Cregan closer, her hands wrapped around his neck as she tugged gently on his hair. A soft moan escaped Y/N’s mouth when Cregan’s hardness brushed against the inside of her thighs. She gathered the hem of his shirt, yearning to see his body. Cregan pulled off his loose tunic, revealing his strong, built chest but also his injury that sobered Y/N some.

“Are you in pain?” asked Lady Y/N quickly. “Should we—”

“I am only in pain from not having you,” Cregan cut her off and pulled off his nightbreeches before entering his wife. The pleasure he felt was so great that when Lord Stark steadied himself against the headboard, the wood cracked beneath the grip of his fingers. Cregan could not be bothered as he savoured the delight of his wife’s body. He tried to go slow and gentle but his desire was too strong. Instead, he slid an arm behind Y/N’s waist and turned them around without leaving her. Cregan laid on his back and let his wife take control or he would lose it.

Y/N pulled her hair to one side of her neck as she leaned down to Cregan’s lips and kissed him passionately. She almost leaned her arms against his chest before she saw the bandage that she had forgotten about in her pleasure. Y/N steadied herself against the bed instead whilst Cregan’s hands wrapped around her hips as she moved steadily against his waist. Her heart beat hard against her chest when she began nearing her climax. She both wanted to stop and have Cregan take over but at the same time Y/N would do anything for the feeling never to end.

“Fuck,” muttered Cregan when he saw how close Y/N was. He sat up, drunk on desire, and helped her by moving his hips as well. His hands reached for her soft breasts that he squeezed and kissed, his fingers brushing against her nipples that made Y/N whine in pleasure.

Y/N was almost there. Her thighs quivered and her nails dug into Cregan’s back. She leaned against his body when a series of quiet whimpers escaped her mouth and her entire body trembled with pleasure. Her shivering breath disappeared in her husband’s loud groan with his arms locked around her waist tightly. They were breathing heavily in each other’s arms, incredulous how they could bear so long without each other. Cregan was still inside of her as they already laid back on the bed, him unable to stop kissing Y/N. His strong arms were wrapped around her bare shoulders, holding her to him as if he feared she might disappear if he let go.

“Gods, I love you,” murmured Cregan against his wife’s lips. Y/N pulled away some, looking up in to her husband’s grey eyes, the warmest she had ever seen them.

“And I you,” spoke Y/N softly.

***

After breaking their fast, the Lord and Lady of Winterfell attended the council together. Lady Y/N wore a grey dress with embroidery of string-of-silver in the pattern of tree branches with small red leaves representing the heart tree. She wore her pearls and the ruby necklace of her wedding day.

Lady Stark sat beside her husband at the long table whilst the councillors discussed the matters of the past few moons. Lady Y/N spoke herself at times, adding and taking from some of the words of the lords. Some would make things seem better or worse than they were to please the Lord of Winterfell and look good in his eyes. Y/N did not say anything then but after the council, in the private audience only between herself, Cregan, and Maester Bennard, the three could discuss plainly what was said and where the real truths lied.

“Thank you, Maester Bennard,” said Lord Stark as they came to the end of both daily matters as well as things concerning his recent absence. “I will see you in the evening should there be more ravens and matters to attend to.”

“Of course, my lord,” said Maester Bennard. His small eyes glanced between the Lady of Winterfell and Lord Stark. “Would you allow me a private audience, my lord?” asked the maester carefully. He looked down in respect and Lady Y/N did not think twice of it. She told Cregan everything and if the maester wanted to check on that, she would let him. If it was about another matter, Y/N could not be happier to be relieved of her duties for once.

Lady Y/N looked at her husband but Cregan was already waiting to hear her wishes. Y/N smiled reassuringly and curtsied.

“I will take Blackspur for a ride. It has been too long,” said Lady Y/N and left the maester and her husband to speak privately.

Lord Stark leaned in his chair and watched his loyal advisor take a seat before him. He had been meaning to speak to Maester Bennard himself ever since he learned of what had happened in his absence.

“My lord,” began Maester Bennard hesitantly, which was rather untypical of the maester. He usually spoke with conviction and certainty.

“If you mean to speak of my wife’s passing condition in my absence, I would have you know she had already spoken to me about it, maester,” said Lord Stark neither kindly nor upset. The maester seemed relieved at the news and nodded.

“It gladdens me, my lord,” said Maester Bennard. “Lady Stark commanded she should be the one to tell you.”

“I see,” said the Lord of Winterfell. “And if she had not spoken to me prior to this audience?”

Maester Bennard paused as he sensed tension in his lord’s voice. “I was of a mind that a raven should be sent to you when my lady fell ill,” said the maester. “These things rarely happen without complications. If nothing else, the loss of blood can be significant.”

The maester’s words made Cregan sick to his stomach. He had seen men’s limbs torn from their bodies, their heads hacked in half and cut off; he himself cut off many a man’s head be it as punishment or in battle, but the thought of his wife in a puddle of blood made Lord Stark’s stomach twist.

“But my lady recovered well,” said Maester Bennard encouragingly. “I believe she found solace in work although she is spending less and less time with her ladies-in-waiting, even with Lady Mormont, who was a comfort to Lady Stark in her darkest hours.”

The Lord of Winterfell listened.

“Whilst losing a babe, especially if it is the first, is nothing unusual and the body oft heals relatively quickly,” said the maester, “The healing of the heart, especially a woman’s heart, is a different matter.”

Cregan nodded to himself. “Thank you, maester,” said the Lord of Winterfell, understanding now.

“My lord,” bowed Maester Bennard and left Cregan be. Lord Stark looked through the window on his right. The sun glistening in last night’s snow blinded his eyes. He wished he knew what to do.

***

Buried in his work, the Lord of Winterfell lost the sense of time. One of his personal servants came to call him to a late nuncheon, making Lord Stark realize how long he had been chained to the desk.

"I will join the Lady Stark in a moment," said Cregan and pressed his seal into hot, grey wax.

"My lady has yet not returned from her ride, my lord," said the servant cautiously.

"What do you mean she has not returned yet?" said the Lord of Winterfell, his stern, grey eyes rising to the servant's. The young man looked down.

Lord Stark rose from his desk and stormed to the master-of-stables who informed him that Lady Stark had left only with Ser Martyn as her escort.

“How could this happen?” Lord Stark rose his voice mindlessly at his servants. They all bowed their heads and looked at the ground, even Ser Tybald. “She is the Lady of Winterfell! She should have an escort of at least a dozen knights!” thundered Cregan with anger boiling within him. His fists were squeezed tight as he stormed outside and called for his men to gather. The hour grew darker by the moment with a snow blizzard on the horizon. A party of two dozen men was gathered, most of them horsed save for the master-of-kennels, Ser Jon, and his apprentices that held the hounds on their chains.

The cruel northern winds whistled mercilessly as Lord Stark mounted his courser Nightkeeper. The snowflakes were dancing in the air, not a single one reaching the ground in the wild wind seeming more like ash than snow.

The party did not even make outside of winter town before they ran into the Lady of Winterfell and her sworn shield, Ser Martyn. He looked as pale as the weirwood tree in the face of his lord’s anger yet his sword was bloodied and his armor soiled red.

The Lord of Winterfell dismounted immediately as did Lady Y/N and Ser Martyn. Cregan stormed to his lady wife, grasping her shoulders before he pulled her into an ardent kiss of relief never minding his men watching. Lady Y/N was knocked out of wind and would have stumbled backwards if Lord Stark had not held her arms so securely.

“Where were you?” demanded Lord Stark from his lady wife. He still held her tightly by the shoulders, his brows in a terrible frown. Lady Y/N’s cheeks were flushed red where the cold wind lashed at them but not only that. The redness masked the small cuts that neither bled nor remained insignificant. Her neck, where visible, was more of the same and her head of long hair loose from its braid and windblown.

“And you!” snapped Cregan before Lady Y/N could manage a word and grabbed Ser Martyn’s breast plate. “How could you leave without an escort?” Lord Stark roared at one of his best men, but in that moment, Cregan could just as well kill him with his bare hands for endangering his wife. Lord Stark could not tell what angered him more: the thought of his wife alone with another man or that man, her sword shield, allowing Cregan’s wife to leave the grounds of Winterfell without a proper escort to protect her.

“Please, everything is alright now,” urged Lady Y/N as she came up to her husband, “A host of bandits attacked us ... ” She touched Lord Stark’s arm but he winced livid with fury, his cold, grey glare snapping to his wife.

“I should think,” snapped Lord Stark. Lady Y/N took a step back and lowered her gaze. Cregan was breathing heavily, still holding onto Ser Martyn’s breast plate although his eyes were on his wife. Lord Stark’s breathing began to calm although not so much his anger born from concern.

“I will hear of your pretensions later, knight,” the Lord of Winterfell growled at Ser Martyn as he let go of his breast plate with a yank.

A shivery breath of relief escaped Lady Y/N’s chest as she stared at her lord husband. He turned as did she, intending to mount Blackspur.

“No,” commanded Lord Stark, his insides still boiling with anger. Lady Y/N’s big eyes found her husband’s furious glare as he took her hand and led her to his courser. The dark brown stallion paced restlessly as he sensed his master’s rage. Cregan grabbed a hold of his wife’s waist and lifted her effortlessly on his courser. Y/N gasped soundlessly but dared not say a word. She had never seen her husband so furious or his anger so slow to cool. She wanted to tell Cregan what had happened and how Ser Martyn was not to blame but the wind whistled so loudly she could barely hear her own thoughts. They had to get back to the castle and quickly.

Heavy snow began to fall as the Lord of Winterfell climbed up into his saddle, one of his arms tightly wrapping around his wife’s waist. Lady Y/N held onto his strong, tense arm as Cregan spurred his mount around and they rode back to the castle. One of the men took Blackspur’s reins and led her to the castle with them. Y/N could almost sense the white-hot anger radiating off her husband’s body as he held her to him. Lord Stark’s anger only cooled some when he began to realize his wife was unharmed for the most part but was fuelled yet again as he knew none of it would have happened if a larger party escorted her. A tempest of thoughts ran through Cregan's mind. He doubted they could have got lost and were ambushed. Ser Martyn may not have been born in Winterfell but he had been a squire for his father since he was a boy of seven. He knew Winterfell as well as any.

Cregan’s heart pumped furiously as a seed of jealousy began to grow in him once again. Just the thought of Y/N alone with another man, any man. The foolish idea in Lord Stark's mind was soon overpowered by a thought that could prove to become all to real if Ser Martyn had not brought Y/N back safely. A pack of bandits, if they had prevailed over Lady Y/N's sworn shield ...

Cregan’s grip on Lady Y/N’s grip tightened even more just as they passed the castle gates. Lady Y/N squeezed Cregan's forearm, trying to tell him wordlessly that the grip was too tight but Lord Stark was too deep in his thoughts. The more Y/N tried to peel his arm off her waist, the stronger Cregan’s grip became.

“You’re hurting me,” said Lady Y/N at last. Her words sobered Lord Stark immediately and woke him from his poisonous thoughts. His hold softened immediately and he released a long held breath.

They reached the castle where one of the stableboys took the reins of Lord Stark's horse. The Lord of Winterfell dismounted and took his wife’s waist carefully. As her feet reached the floor, Cregan towered over her easily. He was suddenly acutely aware of his strength and how his thoughts carried him away.

“Forgive me,” asked Lord Stark of his wife, “It was never my intention to harm you.” Lady Y/N looked up into her husband’s eyes, taken back by the change in his voice. Cregan was far from calm, she could tell, but calmer still than he was only moments ago.

“Only if you can forgive me, my lord,” said Lady Y/N and bowed. Her hands began to tremble as she remembered the group of bandits. Neither herself nor Ser Martyn were sure they would be able to escape and it was her fault for persuading the knight they do not need more men with them. But she was no longer the young Lady Whytefort who no one knew of. She was the Lady of Winterfell, wife to the Warden of the North, and therefore much more valuable to bandits and delinquents.

“There were six of them,” told Lady Y/N once in her husband’s solar. “One of them was slain by Ser Martyn and another lost his arm at the wrist but the rest of them remained unscathed. Some of them had swords and short axes, and two of them were ahorse – one of those died at the hands of Ser Martyn when they chased us through the Wolfswood,” said Lady Y/N quickly, her words flying out of her mouth as if they were in a race to be heard by Lord Stark and Maester Bennard.

“Is there anything else you remember, my lady?” asked Maester Bennard as he wrote down the details for there would be a search party and an award for anyone who would provide information of the delinquents.

Lord Stark stared at his wife, wondering what it would be like if her and Ser Martyn had not returned, if he could not find her in time. Cregan had only just returned home only to neigh lose his wife, the woman he dreamed of every night on his march north.

The snow blizzard raged outside but that was the least of Lord Stark's concerns. If Lady Y/N could not have managed to escape the bandits … The wax stick in Cregan’s hand snapped like a twig. He had been rolling it around his fingers to keep his focus and pace his temper.

Lady Y/N’s eyes moved from Cregan’s eyes to his hands and finally to the maester. She shook her head.

“Thank you, my lady,” said Maester Bennard curtly and put the quill away. Lady Y/N nodded and finally felt at ease enough to remove her cloak. She hissed when the heavy fabric drew across a deep gash on her shoulder that she had forgotten about in the midst of it all.

Cregan jumped up hastily at the sight of the wound. The sleeve of Lady Y/N’s riding gown was drenched in blood.

“I think I caught a branch when we were running away,” said Lady Y/N, her fingertips red with blood as she inspected her wound.

“Why didn’t you speak before?” asked Lord Stark, rushing to his wife’s side. Lady Y/N looked up into her husband’s eyes, his formidable frame looming over her. He looked the wound before he tore off a strip of his tunic and wrapped it around her upper arm to stop the bleeding, whilst the maester went to fetch his things.

“I forgot,” said Lady Y/N quietly yet in all honesty. Cregan frowned at her, hardly believing what she was saying. Only then could Cregan see the tremble in her hands and the fear in her eyes. The small cuts on her face became more prominent once the blush from the wind drained from her cheeks. Lady Y/N should have taken a larger escort but the bandits had no business lurking the grounds of Winterfell in the first place, much less attacking its high lady. If Cregan feared for his wife's safety, how frightened must she have been in the face of it all.

Cregan caressed his wife’s cheek gently and pulled her closer, careful not to brush against her shoulder. He kissed the top of Y/N’s head as he felt her small hands reach around his waist.

“Please forgive me,” said Y/N quietly. Tears soaked her voice as she leaned against Cregan’s steady frame. "I was a fool not to heed Ser Martyn's advice. I never thought ..."

“Forgiven,” murmured the Lord of Winterfell against her hair. A different kind of anger rose inside of Cregan as he caressed his wife’s hair.

“I will have their heads and hang their from the walls of Winterfell, my lady. You have my word.”

***

It took a week for the snow blizzard to settle and near another three for any traces of the bandits to be found. Ser Martyn led one of the search parties, knowing full well what the men looked like. Just so, it was his group of knights who found them. Ser Martyn delivered the news as the Lord and Lady of Winterfell had their nuncheon in private. They had trout prepared in a skin of herbs with baked potatoes and a flagon of dark ale.

Lady Y/N’s heart paused in her chest when she heard the news.

“How did you find them?” asked Lady Stark. It has been so long everyone began to lose hope of ever catching the group of delinquents.

Ser Martyn hesitated a moment, showing a clear discomfort. “We found them despoiling a peasant girl,” he told.

Lady Stark’s lips parted but she could not find the words she wanted to say. Her stomach twisted and turned into knots and Y/N had to do everything in her power to keep her meal down. Blood began to boil in her veins. Out of nowhere, Lady Y/N could see the men’s faces in her mind as if it were yesterday that she encountered them in the Wolfswood. The man slain by Ser Martyn, the one who lost his hand, the short one with missing teeth, the two lanky men who seemed to be kin and the one who remained on horseback. Y/N did not know why but she wanted to see how the life would leave the bandits’ eyes. She wanted to be there when Cregan would pass the judgement and condemn them to whatever punishment he saw fit.

“I will see them,” said Lord Stark severely and got up from the table. Lady Y/N's eyes followed him.

“There are only four of them left, my lord,” informed Ser Martyn. “We interrogated the men separately and all claim the fifth was taken by the snowstorm.”

“After I am through with them, they will believe the frozen fool fortunate,” said the Lord of Winterfell.

***

The bandits were brought to Winterfell in chains, unharmed at the command of the Warden of the North. When the day of their execution came, most of Winterfell and the winter town gathered in the main square to witness the deaths of the men who had been pestering their lands. The Lady of Winterfell was not the first person they attacked and the peasant girl would not have been the last if not for Ser Martyn and his knights.

As the four men were led to the scaffold, not one of them walked without a limp. Their faces were broken and bruised but Lady Y/N could recognize them still even with the blood drying on their wounds. As per law, their heads were to be cut off for their crimes, but the Lord of Winterfell ordered their carcasses be hanged above the main gates of the castle as a warning to others.

The morning already broke but the snow was falling heavily in the silver-blue light of day. Lady Stark was standing with Lady Ellyn on the dais beneath a canopy that shielded them from the worst of the late autumn snow. Lady Y/N had trouble sleeping and had been feeling uneasy all morning. She could not find comfort not even in her husband’s embrace. Y/N could not stop thinking about the peasant girl nor of the day herself and Ser Martyn were ambushed. She could have ended up as the peasant girl or worse. The whole of it made her sick to her stomach. Lady Y/N wanted to be there for the execution, she wanted to see, and yet she wished for all of it to be over as quickly as possible.

The Lord of Winterfell marched on the scaffold where the prisoners waited in line. Thick snowflakes nestled in his heavy fur cloak and his long, dark hair. Ice hung solemnly on Lord Cregan’s back as the charges were told to the prisoners and the crowd that gathered.

“The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword,” Cregan told Lady Y/N when she asked last night who will bring doom to the bandits in the morn. The words rang almost as profoundly of House Stark as those of “Winter is coming”. Y/N had long thought it an old-wife's tale yet the longer she stayed at Winterfell, the more she began to believe there really never was a Stark without honour.

An eerie silence filled the square when the Lord of Winterfell unsheathed his great longsword. Cregan took off the prisoners’ heads one by one yet before he could reach the third, Lady Y/N’s head grew light as a summer cloud and a sickness settled in her stomach. She could not watch any longer but it was too late. Y/N tried to grasp Lady Ellyn’s hand to steady herself but her grip was no grip at all, merely a touch before she came crashing to the ground and darkness swallowed her vision.

Lady Y/N could feel the pillows beneath her as she began to wake but even the slightest movement of her head sent her head spinning. Y/N groaned and steadied herself against the mattress, slowly opening her eyes. She recognized the ceiling of her private chambers. There were voices speaking but there was ringing in her ears and she could not understand them. Suddenly, a heavy nausea came over her and she threw up, a basin already by her side. Someone took her hair and held it back as sweat coated Lady Y/N’s neck and forehead. The ringing in her ears gradually stopped as did her vomiting. She was offered a cup of water by someone. Lady Y/N rose her gaze and saw her lady-in-waiting.

“It’s alright,” whispered Lady Ellyn with a small smile.

“What happened?” asked Lady Y/N as she looked around her chambers. Cregan was standing by her side, his eyes bright and restless and his brows in a concerned frown. If this were a battle, he would have been swinging his sword and shouting orders. But this was no battle although his body was just as tense.

Lady Y/N noticed Maester Bennard was there as well as were her other three ladies-in-waiting. The ladies wore cheerful smiles and exchanged silent whispers.

Maester Bennard offered a small smile. “I am pleased to say that your ladyship is with child again.”

#house of the dragon #game of thrones #hotd #house of the dragon fanfic #cregan stark #cregan stark x reader #hotd cregan #cregan stark x y/n #winterfell #house stark #the wolf of the north #cregan fanfiction

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justatypicalwizard · 15 hours

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Bakugo who eats you out because he lost a bet, smut

It all started with a bet. It was this specific chaotic type of bet that you throw over your shoulder when agitated. The one that comes pistoling out of your lips as soon as it comes to your mind, or even earlier, a fog of war limits your common sense.

This was often the case with Katsuki Bakugo who was world widely known as the most annoying person on earth.

Okay, maybe he stood on this podium only in your world (others deemed Denki as the most insufferable) but it was enough to fire the never ending quarrels.

The two of you were similar in many senses, none of which would ever admit. Despite you being way less aggressive, you had your ways of getting under other peoples’ skin when displeased. You had this fighting spirit and competitive nature that could tune well with Katsuki’s. Unfortunately it most often sang off-key.

It was hard to tell what he thought about you. On one hand you’d say he definitely disliked you, to some point maybe? If he did dislike you he wouldn’t keep you around the small circle of his friends. Katsuki proved that he could push away anyone he wished to, no matter the circumstances. That’s what happened with Deku.

So Katsuki Bakugo disliked the fact that he liked you. Or he liked to dislike you. Either way you fought, ebbed and always surged back. Oh, and bets?

I bet you won’t even make it halfway before the time is up. He throws when he passes you down the hallway, spotting you bending your back over a book, minutes before the exam.

I bet your lovely friend will come looking for you soon. You snicker leaving him in the kitchen of the house party you’re both at. He’s currently hiding from a bimbo who really tries to ask him out and doesn’t take no for an answer.

I bet your mum dropped you when you were little.

I bet Miruko will kick your ass over this.

I bet they’ll send this essay back. It’s shit.

I bet it’ll die in this sunlight.

“Huh.” He knit his brows together, throwing you a nasty look. “Old hag didn’t say anything. It looks like it needs light.”

You were currently in his dorm room, analysing a small plant his mother left him. It was tiny, in a small ceramic pot, with three juicy green leaves poking out of the fresh soil.

“Well, I bet it’ll die if you put it in this sun.” You threw, shrugging your shoulders.

“Okay. If I win you’ll shut the fuck up for a single day around me. No words, not even a squeak.”

With the eye of your imagination you could see Katsuki pestering you for a whole day while you’d be unable to fire back. Yet, you had nothing to worry about. The little dude on the windowsill will bear three of four days before wittering. It’s the type that needs more shade.

“Fine. And if I win you can eat my ass.”

He chuckled, throwing a not happening over his shoulder before ushering you to work you both had to do.

A week later you were back in his room. It was a pleasant place to work in - clean, quiet, and always stocked with tea and coffee. Unlike you, Katsuki had the luxury of a single room which always soured your mood when he rubbed it in your face.

You were resting in his desk chair, legs crossed and organising a bunch of sources you were about to use later in your dissertation. It was the least pleasant part of writing essays. Finding academic sources in the library or browsing for them on the internet was not half bad. One could get in the swing of it after some time. And it made you feel like a real student all book heavy bags in a spacious bibliotheca.

Organising them later though? A pain in the ass.

“-by the way.” You caught only the ending of his sentence.

“Huh?” Turning around you spotten Katsuki looking at something in the far end of his room.

There was a closet there, one that didn’t quite reach the ceiling but was massive in shape. Atop of it sat the little dude in his sweet ceramic pot. Unfortunately all that was left of his three juicy leaves was one stem fighting for its life.

You clapped your hands in satisfaction, cracking a victorious laugh.

“Told you.” Fake wiping a tear from your cheek, you turned back to the desk and searched for the box you were about to tick off the long list. “Give it some more water and time. It will be fine.”

“So.” You felt him standing behind you. His shadow disrupted your writing.

“So?” Once again you turned around in his chair, cocking your brow in question.

“You won.” He crossed his arms, tapping his foot on the soft carpet in irritation.

You nodded your head with a grin but still ruffled. “Yes, and?”

“And you told me I can eat your ass.”

“Oh yeah, stuff your stupid mouth full.” You laughed but he yanked you by the arm, standing you up.

He dropped to his knees, pushing your bottom into the rim of his desk. With a shit eating grin he slipped his fingers into the sides of your trousers, grazing the bare skin of your hips underneath them.

“What the fuck dude?” You cursed, grabbing his forehead like the one of a misbehaved dog, trying to pacify him.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” The grin never left his face as he waited for your words, digging his nails into your skin.

It would be a lie to say that you never ever thought of him that way. Of course he was pretty, with his naturally fair hair that gave him a punk kind of look. With his body carved out like a marble statue. With a grin that made people both want to slap him and fawn over him.

Yes, it did cross your mind that he would be a pleasant view in the bed. Who with a sound mind wouldn’t think of that. Maybe people who weren’t attracted to-

No, it was a normal thought to have, one that may occur when you’re alone under the shower or in bed. You just often appreciate the beauty of your friends. Mina’s also cute and Kirishima is bulked as hell. It was a rational train of thoughts.

So why wasn’t your rational mind telling your hand to push him away just now? Why were you looking at his face, so close to your clothed cunt and feeling excitement bubble in your veins.

Tell me to stop and I will.

And you never did. So he pushed you to sit on the desk, pulling both your trousers and pants down at the same time. You kicked the air a few times to get rid of them but they hung from one of your ankles. It didn’t matter because his face was at its place. God bless you showered before coming here because you could have second thoughts otherwise.

“Okay, whatever the fuck you want, psycho.” You breathed as he lapped at your clit, still looking up at you.

His fingers creeped towards the inner side of your tight and you slapped him over the head.

“Uh, uh. I told you you could eat me out, not finger me. Yesterday you didn’t seem like the one to take shortcuts.” You spat, drinking up his frustration and slight… shame? Like a kid who did something wrong and got caught red handed.

“Fine.” He muttered pushing his tongue inside you. “It won’t take long anyway.” The grin was back on his face.

It indeed didn’t take long as soon, your legs were shutting tightly around his face. You weren’t even looking down anymore, the sight was a turn on but you were already overdriven. Your competitive nature was in a bliss and your head played fucking Katsuki Bakugo, on his fucking knees, between my fucking legs over and over like a broken record. You didn’t want to spoil your fun by thinking he may be having a merrier time than you.

Not now, not when you’re so close and his palms are grabbing your tights, fingers digging into your muscles so much it would hurt if not the tension. Edging your release, you grabbed his hair in a tight fist pushing him in more, crossing your legs like it would take an “open, sesame!” to undo them.

At last, with a final short breath you came chuckling and moaning. A Katsuki may have slipped past your lips but only once.

He tore your legs open, panting like he just finished a marathon. Looking down you covered your lips to hide the laugh. His face was wet, smeared all over with what was a mixture of you both. His cheeks were heavy with blood, an intense red cutting out on his pale face. Classically, his brows were knit together.

“Did you have to make such a mess?” The blonde stood up and went to his bathroom. You caught a glimpse of the bulge in his pants.

The sound of the faucet reached your ears.

“I’m not gonna say sorry. You asked for it.” And you were pretty good at it. No. Such praise would kill your ego.

The water stopped running and you heard him stomp back. You pulled your trousers on quickly, suddenly feeling awfully naked. What would happen now? Your casual friend just ate your pussy like it was his last meal before a death sentence, and you were supposed to go back to organising the sources.

You felt a hard push to the back of your head.

“Stop thinking about it and get back out.”

Eh?!

Time went on quickly and in a weird manner. A huge something was in the air but you couldn’t find a way to bring the topic up. Why did you eat my pussy out of the blue? Was it really just about the bet? Were you feeling horny and I just so happened to be there? Are we fwb now? Do you like me?

Scratch the last one. The man gave you a headache ever since his own head left your tights. Also, he was nowhere to be found. Katsuki didn’t respond to texts, he was absent from the gym during his usual hours, and his dorm room was closed. You couldn’t just go to Kirishima and say: hey, I’m trying to figure out why Katsuki gave me head, wanna help?

The moment you run into his fleeting ass, you're gonna squeeze out the answer.

An opportunity came soon when you spotted him sneaking into the laundry room. It was a cramped space with washing machines and dryers. Fortunately, you had little thieves around dorms so people usually left their washing while it was in progress. There was a big chance you’d be alone.

Running to the door you yanked them open and rushed inside. Indeed, it was only him crouched to the lowest washing machine, putting mostly black clothes inside.

“You’re here for round two?” He smirked and you gasped.

It took you by surprise, you expected yelling or awkwardness. Nevermind. You shook off your initial stumble.

“Can you explain what the fuck do you mean by all this?” You gestured in the air as if all this was a laundry basket and an empty bottle of washing liquid scattered on the floor.

Katsuki hummed, shrugging his shoulders. He dropped the halfway loaded laundry on the floor and crawled closer to you, gripping your hips in a familiar manner. This time, you were wearing a skirt. Your back hit the door.

“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.” It fell from his lips as if he was asking whether you want vanilla or chocolate ice-cream.

Your mind ran in circles like a hamster in its ball. Start a fuss and possibly fight with Katsuki or let him do his thing and cum? Uhh.

He took your panties off completely, throwing them into his washing machine but left your skirt. Halfway in, when your chest was heaving and hips pushed further and further away from the door you heard a sound on the other side.

The doorknob shook and there was a mumble on the outside. You dug your feet into the ground and Katsuki put one of his hands to shut it closed. Yet, he didn’t stop what he was doing. Both of your palms also pushed into the thin wood making you unable to quiet the panting and loud gulps. You bit your lip and it would break if something wasn’t stuffed inside your mouth.

Taking a sharp breath through your nose, you smelled him. He stuffed your mouth with one of the shirts from his laundry. You threw him a dirty look from above to which he only smirked, going back down.

“It’s locked.” The muffled voice on the other side said.

“Maybe maintenance.” A different one answered.

When they were gone, you could finally cum, biting hard into Katsuki’s shirt. You steadied yourself on a drier afterwards while he wiped his mouth with a spare T-shirt before throwing all the leftover laundry inside the washing machine and starting it.

“My pants.” You breathed out, you were still coming back to earth.

“Ops.” He threw and with a single long stride, escaped the murder scene.

Your walk of shame in the short skirt, without panties on was long.

The third time you could talk to him happened only a day later.

You were studying with Kirishima, or more like tutoring him for free, in the library. Kirishima also had a single room in the dorms but his was far more trashy and you didn’t crave to spend time in that man cave. Instead you booked a private study room. It had a small round table, a few chairs and switches to plug in electric devices.

Halfway through your study Kirishima stated he needed to go to the bathroom. You nodded and the man left. Only after a minute did you hear the door open once more.

“A line in the mens’? Unbelievable.” You chuckled but upon looking up, you were met with a nasty grin.

“Kirishima told me you guys were studying.” He cornered you. “You know the deal.”

Katsuki slipped behind your chair as you whipped your head around to stop him. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders, surprisingly gentle.

“Just tell me to stop.”

Oh fuck you you pretty bastard. Is what you thought.

“Oh fuck you.” Is what you said and you wanted to add something but he pushed your upper half into the table simultaneously yanking the chair from under your butt.

It took a lick for your knees to get kinda soft and your morale to stumble between being a decent person or getting this unbelievably lucky chance for a third time.

“Can we at least do it after I finish with Kiri? I can come to your room as quickly as I am able to.” You whispered.

“Or you can call the dumbass and buy me a few minutes.” Katsuki muttered between your folds.

You cursed under your breath and grabbed your phone. Pick up, pick up, pick up, goddamn. Kirishima could be back any second. Although nothing terrible would happen if he came in on you, it would be embarrassing like hell. Finally, you heard his voice on the other side of the line.

“I’m just coming back, literally wait a second-”

“No!” You shouted into the device. “I mean.”

Katsuki seemed to slow down between your tights. Good, the bastard is not stupid and he cut you some slack this time.

“I’m sorry but I just really need a coffee, I thought you’d still be somewhere around the entrance.” You pieced together a makeshift excuse.

“I can go back. ‘Ts the least I can do for your help.” Kirishima laughed so genuinely it made you feel slightly bad for playing him like this.

“Yeah, uh, it really is boring like hell.” You laughed. The whole phone call made you unable to focus on Katsuki who was behind you and you really wanted to go back to minding him. “If I can be honest it would be lovely if you could bring me coffee from that cafe down and opposite of the library. You know which. I slept really bad and need their double espresso.” Kiri, please just say yes!

“Of course, anything for you.”

That sweetheart. Kirishima was really the perfect man, contrary to Katsuki who just now, at the very end of your call, decided to be an absolute asshole.

You felt two of his fingers push past your entrance and force your walls open. A breath got caught in your throat.

“Okay thanks, bye!” You smashed the end call button. “What the fuck are you do-”

But he was turning you around, lapping his tongue over your clit, moving his fingers in and out of your cunt all of which with closed eyes and a blissful look on his face. You gave in, because it felt so good.

After a while you finished all over his face, for the third time this week.

“I told you not to finger me.” You complained, dressing yourself in fear of Kirishima being too neat in his mission to get you coffee.

“I know and I didn’t like it. So I had to distract you.” He smirked, resting his hip on the table.

At that moment, Kirishima came inside with two paper cups, steam escaping the small opening in the lids.

“Oh, hi dude! I didn’t think you’d come here. I’d buy you coffee too.” Kirishima chirped.

“Forget about it, I was supposed to do something anyway. Just came in to say hi.” The blonde flicked his hand in the air. “Oh, and if you want-” He turned to you. “You can come to my room later and finish what we were talking about.” With that he slipped past the door leaving you with a grimace and Kirishima with a dumbfounded expression.

“What were you guys talking about?” The redhead asked.

“Nothing important, just about transplanting a small plant his mum gave him. I’ll help him later, he has already managed to nearly kill it.”

#bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #mha #bakugo #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugo smut

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wooziorgans · 1 day

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moon song || ljh

warnings: post breakup au. ex idol!reader. reader has an implied suicide attempt(s) in the past. reader is implied to do something akin to relapsing at the end of the fic. ed talk. lots of pressure that comes w being an idol. clubs. drinking. seungcheol hates y/n for leaving. leaving the idol industry behind. seeing your ex after four years. hurt w very little comfort. right person, wrong time.

word count: 4.2k

a/n: vent piece mostly. abt my frustration of still being sick, abt my frustration of not seeming to get better, abt how it never seems to stop. abt all of my wasted potential as a person. all of it, none of it, everything and nothing at all. i am so tired.

please read with caution. this is just a lot of emotions all in one place.

The loud bass that hits your head as soon as you enter the club makes your head pound immediately. It’s been four long years since you’ve even been in this part of Seoul, let alone been in a club with this group of ex-colleagues.

Ex-colleagues is certainly one way to put it. They were all so much more, and you know that this is just an excuse for all of them to get drunk. You wonder briefly if Jihoon’s here. He never used to drink, but then again, he didn’t do a lot of things until you were in the picture. You wonder how much has changed now that you’re not.

The memory of him burns like a hot iron branding your back, and you head to the nearest table of refreshments to grab a drink. If he’s here, you’ll need all the alcohol you can get your hands on. Maybe that makes you no better than anyone else; no better than the scene you so desperately needed to leave four years ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.

You’re no longer apart of it. What you do now won’t cost you your career. If the night ends with you passed out in an alley way simply because you saw your ex at an album release party for an album he produced, so be it. He never comes to these things anyways.

At least, he didn’t when you knew him. You haven’t known Jihoon for a long time. It’s been four years after all; a lot can change in a week, let alone four years.

Like your decision to leave the K-pop industry. You had mulled over it for weeks, before you brought it up to anyone, and you didn’t go to Jihoon first. He was the last person you told. At least, officially, that you were leaving.

All those years of work as a trainee, just for it to be nothing. All of the tears, the angry screams into your pillow, the poverty your company forced you into in the first few years of your career because it was boarding on bankruptcy. All of this wasted potential. Maybe you could’ve been someone great.

You were, for a few years. Your group took off, and the first few years of success made all of the hard work feel like it was worth something. But as the saying goes, too much of a good thing won’t be good for long.

The pressure started to build, and it built until it boiled over and you were found on the verge of doing something terrible in your bathroom by your boyfriend and your manager after a week of unusual silence. Jihoon never was a crier, but god did he sob as he held you in the back of the ambulance. He had never begged for anything the way he begged for you to talk to him.

Please, god, please talk to me Y/N. Please, baby. I can’t— I can’t lose you.

It’s funny, really, how things work out. You dug yourself so deep into this hole of despair from the pressure of being an idol, that the only way out of it was to completely separate yourself from that life and start over.

After terminating your contract, you broke up with Jihoon. Or, you didn’t break up with him, only told him that you needed to take a break while you sorted yourself out. After being on a break for four years, is it still just a break? Or are you broken up at that point?

Both you and Jihoon know the answer to that.

Three years of no social media, no articles about you, none of your old friends reaching out to check in on you because they held a contractual obligation to be nice to you in the hallways. Three and a half years out of the spotlight. Three and a half years of peace, of healing, of sorting your life out and learning how to breathe again.

It’s been four years without Jihoon, and you didn’t really think much about the consequences that potentially sharing a space with him would have. But now they’re suffocating. All you can think about is the potential possibility of him being here, which, he wouldn’t be, right? He hates these kinds of gatherings. He used to skip his own release parties to watch shitty romance movies with you on the couch in his studio.

Does he have someone new to watch romance movies with? Or has he given up romance altogether? You know from the first few months, updates provided by Soonyoung, that he didn’t take the distance very well. You know that he missed you, and he worried about you constantly. You know you’re spiralling, and you know all those years of therapy will be for nothing if you don’t pull yourself out of it.

You don’t have to do that, because Seungkwan does it for you. “Y/N? You came!” He seems elated that you’re here, off his rocker, probably drunk.

“Of course I came! It’s your first album as BSS, Seungkwan.” You smile, and it’s not forced at all. You have completely forgotten how easy it is to fall into banter with Seungkwan. It’s almost like you never left in the first place.

Except something in his eyes seems off. That’s your first red flag to turn around and get the fuck out of this club, but you don’t. “My god. It’s been so long. How are you doing?” With anyone else, the small talk would’ve taken you out back and killed you. It’s different with Seungkwan.

Different how? He was one of the only people who consistently checked in on you when you first left. As you settled into your new life, the texts became less frequent; now, four years later they’re hardly anything to notice, but he’ll still send you a text on every holiday, and he’s wished you happy birthday every year since you met him.

“I’m doing a lot better. I’m… I’m good.” You laugh softly. Seungkwan smiles at you.

“That’s good. I’ve missed having you around— of course I don’t expect you to come back into this scene, but it would be nice to see you sometime.” Seungkwan squeezes your shoulder softly and smiles wider.

“Yeah, of course. I know I’ve been gone, but I’ll make it less hard to get a hold of me. I’ve missed all of you, truth be told.” You smile back. “I’ve just… been doing a lot of healing and I think it’s about time I finally start reconnecting with people. Is everyone here?” You ask.

“Oh, yeah. We’re all here! I kind of spilled that I invited you so everyone decided to come just in case you showed up.” The depth of all doesn’t really seem to cross Seungkwan’s mind; he’s certainly not thinking about Jihoon right now, or Seungcheol for that matter. You’re pretty sure Seungcheol would punch you if he caught sight of you. Maybe Jihoon would too. You have no idea how Jihoon even feels about you.

“Even, uh, Jihoon?” The smile falls from Seungkwan’s face.

“Oh. Yeah. He’s here too.” Seungkwan swallows when he sees your face shift. “You… he-he wants to talk to you. It’s not my place to really say, but he’s not mad. I think he just wants closure.”

So maybe Jihoon wouldn’t punch you. That’s a bit of a relief.

“Oh my god! Y/N! You came!” It’s Seokmin, very clearly drunk. You didn’t keep in contact with him, though he did send you a few paragraphs over text as he wished you all the best, telling you to reach out if you ever needed anything. You didn’t take him up on the offer.

“I did!” You smile, tilting your head as you look up at Seokmin.

“Can I have a hug?” He’s already opening his arms and you slide right into them. His hug is firm and warm. You’ve missed Seokmin a lot more than you cared to admit. Seungkwan grumbles about how he should’ve asked for a hug and you laugh, pulling him into one.

You catch up with Seokmin briefly before he’s being pulled away by someone you don’t know. You stick with Seungkwan, talking about your life, the album, avoiding the subject of Jihoon.

And then you turn your head at the bright sound of laughter, and you see him. You see him, and he’s not the same mess he was when you left him with no promise of when you’d see each other next. He’s not the scared man in his early twenties who had no idea if you were going to die on him. He’s not the man who stayed with you in the hospital for days on end.

He’s not the producer you knew who’d slide his headphones over your ears as he pulled you into his lap. He’s not the warm hand that held yours because you forgot your gloves again. He’s not the hushed giggles at four in the morning, or the hurried kisses, or the soft whimpers and praises as you tangled yourselves in his bedsheets.

Jihoon isn’t yours anymore.

You had hoped he wouldn’t be such a sore subject for you anymore, but seeing him in all of his glory four years later… god does it fucking hurt. You’ve done a lot of healing in the last four years, but in that time you never really had the time to process the loss of Jihoon.

Soonyoung spots you, and that’s when you know you’re doomed, because if Soonyoung is distracted, Jihoon always notices the thing that catches him off guard. You try to pull your eyes away from Jihoon, but you can’t. You swear he’s gotten more beautiful in the last four years.

He’s gotten bigger, physically— far more muscular. You can see the curve of his pecks through his shirt, one that isn’t even tight against his body. Jihoon’s always been a big fitness buff, but it appears he’s put more effort into himself. His biceps strain against the fitted sleeves of his long sleeve black shirt.

Jihoon’s face looks different too. He still has the same round cheeks you used to always pinch and prod at. His jawline is still soft, but it’s more defined. His eyes are bright, and the bags under them are still there. You wonder briefly if he’s ever gotten rid of them; if the skin under his eyes has ever matched the rest of his milky complexion.

His hair is longer than you’ve ever seen it. Dark and flowy, it’s reflective and healthy, half tied up with what would be his undercut hanging freely. A few pieces frame his face. It looks soft and healthy. Jihoon looks soft and healthy.

He’s smiling as he scans the crowd to find what Soonyoung is distracted by, and then he spots you. The smile is wiped off of Jihoon’s face faster than your brain can even register it. Seungkwan stiffens beside you, hand finding your shoulder to steady you as you stumble briefly, but the pull between you and Jihoon is too much.

Both of you start moving towards each other, pushing your way through the crowd. “Y/N.” His voice comes out in a breath, chest heaving and then he’s there, right in front of you, after four years.

You don’t know what to say, can’t process the fact that he’s in front of you, as beautiful as ever. “Jihoon,” you echo, “hi.” You can’t help the small smile that threatens to pull at your lips. The tension on Jihoon’s face eases, but he doesn’t smile back.

“Hi. How are you doing?” Jihoon asks, and if it was anyone else, it would’ve been a sad attempt at small talk. It’s Jihoon, so you know he’s asking how you’re doing now, if you’re better. A part of him is asking if you still feel like killing yourself. The answer to the last part is no.

“I’m… better. A lot better.” You laugh awkwardly. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t doing okay.” Now, Jihoon actually does smile at you, and though it’s small, it’s still there.

“You look a lot better. Healthier. I’m glad.” Jihoon takes a sip of his drink as he looks down at you. He’s right; you’re much healthier now. There’s solid meat on your bones, your thighs touch and your ribs don’t show anymore. Your face has filled out, cheeks full and round. Your eyes don’t look as though they’re sunken into your skull, they’re brighter now; they seem to shine with life in a way they never have before.

Jihoon takes you in properly, and god, you’ve gotten so much more beautiful since the last time he saw you. It hurts. It hurts a lot to see how good you look now, without him. He knows it’s a lot more complicated than that, but it still hurts nonetheless.

You look healthy, like an actual person and not a skeleton, and you were never that way when you were an idol. You were never like that when you were with Jihoon.

“Oh, um, thank you. Should we… should we sit? We have a lot to talk about.” You laugh again to hide your nerves. Jihoon can still read you, and he knows you’re brimming with nerves. He knows you’re a little scared, probably more than a little, and he is too.

You’ve never breached the subject, hardly even talked about your breakup. Jihoon doesn’t like to think about it. He just doesn’t. He doesn’t like to think about how much worse you were doing, even if it destroyed him. The breakup was harder on you, tenfold, and you went through it alone.

“I- uh. Yeah, yeah, we can go sit. It’s probably about time we talk.” Jihoon laughs nervously, closing his eyes for a second. He wordlessly starts walking towards the vacant booths of the club. You follow close behind.

Jihoon sits down, and you take a seat across from him. It’s silent for a few moments. Both of you are staring at your cups, not drinking, just swirling your liquids of choice.

Jihoon speaks first, but he can’t look at you. “Why’d you have to leave me?” He asks, and his voice breaks softly as he says it. You certainly weren’t expecting that as the first question he asked, but you don’t really know what else he would’ve asked.

“I… I had to leave everything that had to do with being an idol behind. You… you included.” It’s a shitty answer, but you can’t think in Jihoon’s presence.

“I understand that, but I would’ve been there for you. I would’ve helped you get help. You didn’t have to do it by yourself, Y/N. I loved you; I would’ve done anything to make sure you were safe.” Jihoon’s bites at his lip, eyes sparkling in the low lights of the club. He looks like he’s about to cry, and god does it break your heart.

He loved you, past tense. It’s jarring. It stings, but what else did you expect? For him to still want you? That’s unrealistic and completely unfair to expect from him.

It hits you then that you might still be in love with him. That makes this next part so much harder.

“I know. I know, but it made sense to me at the time. I can’t- I can’t rationalize anything that I did at that time in my life. None of it makes sense, but I made a lot of choices that I regret and I can’t go back on them now. It’s too late for that and I’m- I’m so sorry for everything I put you through, Jihoon. All of it; everything, god, I’m so sorry.” You spill, and the soft burn in the back of your throat makes it hard to speak as you try not to cry. “You didn’t deserve to deal with any of it.” You whisper softly.

“Y/N,” Jihoon whispers back, “I forgave you a long time ago. I just want closure.” Closure. Jihoon wants closure, meaning he wants to move on. The tears in his eyes shine brightly, though they don’t fall, but he’s crying nonetheless, and that makes you feel worse.

“I don’t deserve that though. I don’t deserve to be forgiven for just leaving you. Seungcheol still hasn’t forgiven me; why the hell would you?” You swallow hard, and that seems to break the dam as the first few tears slip down your cheeks.

“Seungcheol has his own issues. We never told him the full story, and maybe that’s why he’s still… iffy about the whole thing. But I forgive you. I just, I want to stop hiding from you. I don’t want to be worried about running into you somewhere and not knowing what to say. I still care about you, so much, and, god does it fucking kill me to still worry about you when you’ve never made an effort to reach out to me.” Jihoon’s always been blunt, so you should’ve expected this, but it makes you feel worse; guilty. “I would’ve answered your calls, in a heartbeat. You know I would’ve.” Jihoon blinks, and the first few tears fall down his face.

“I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to call you after so long. I spent six months in and out of the hospital, and after that I had to get back on my feet. By the time I even had time to think about calling you, it’d been a year, and to me that was too late.” You close your eyes and exhale deeply, fingers twitching.

Jihoon used to hold your hands when you were upset to stop them from twitching so much. He used to pull your head close to his chest and wipe your tears with the pads of his thumbs. He makes no effort to do so now. Jihoon can’t even look at you properly.

He’s focused on picking at the calluses on his palms. Some things never change.

“You- six months? Y/N, fuck, I had no idea. I knew it was bad but, shit, really?” Jihoon’s voice breaks fully, and all you can do is nod. “How many more times? How many times did you—?” He can’t finish his sentence. His throat closes up.

“Four.” Jihoon has nothing to say in reply. He can’t, not with the deep hurt that settles in his chest, so you elaborate. “I really just wanted to die. The media was on my ass for the first year and it was just bad. I spent the next year after that in a rehabilitation program to fix my relationship with food and it helped a lot. I found a good therapist and I’m still seeing her. It’s helped a lot. I’m- I’m clean.” You pick up your cup, hand shaking, and take a large drink to calm your nerves.

“I’m really glad that you’re healthy now. Really, god, that’s such a relief.” Jihoon’s tears are steady now. He wipes at them with his sleeve. You mutter a soft thank you.

Outside of the booth, the noise has been blocked out by your conversation, but you hear something peculiar. It’s Seungcheol, his voice is loud and booming. He’s angry.

“What the fuck are they doing here?! Seriously, why did you even invite them?” Both you and Jihoon look up at the same time to see Joshua and Mingyu trying to deescalate the situation. Seungkwan is yelling back, face red as he tries to block Seungcheol’s view of the booth you and Jihoon are sat in.

“No, I’ve fucking had it with all of you. Defending them for just fucking leaving Jihoon without a word. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you bring them here?” Seungcheol is drunk and looking for a confrontation with you, and that’s enough of a threat to have you and Jihoon standing as he tries to usher you out of the club without Seungcheol seeing.

“Fuck, you should probably go.” Jihoon pulls you close to him, shielding you from Seungcheol’s view. You nod, walking fast beside him as you push your way through the crowd.

“Yah! You, get the fuck back here!” Neither of you listen as you push your way out of the door. You make the mistake of looking behind you to see Joshua and Mingyu physically holding Seungcheol back. Wonwoo is there now too, standing in front of him to prevent him from walking.

The outside air is cold and bitter. You shiver as you pull out your phone to order a ride. You and Jihoon are completely silent. He’s standing so close to you that you can feel his body heat radiating off onto you.

“I’ll wait with you. How long?” He asks, voice shaky.

“Two minutes.” You only have two minutes left with Jihoon. It’s so finite, the time you’re spending with him. If only you had more time.

You’re not afforded that luxury as you shiver beside him. “Can I- is it okay if I—?” You nod, unsure of what he’s asking. It’s a yes either way. Jihoon pulls you into his arms in a tight, warm hug. His hands don’t find their way into your hair, or rub your back. He just holds you. It’s all he can do.

Both of you ignore the mutual swell of warmth in your chests. You’re still in love with him, you know that, and that’s why the car seems to show up in no time. Your phone chimes as the car pulls up in front of the club as you reluctantly start to separate yourselves.

There’s so much you didn’t get to talk about. You tell him so. “We, fuck, I had so much more to say. I had so much more to explain. You, god, you were the right person, Jihoon. Everything else was just so wrong.” You thought the weight would’ve been lifted off your chest, but it only hurts more. You close your eyes as you turn away.

“Y/N, fuck, don’t do this to me right now.” Jihoon whispers, eyes filling with tears once again.

“I’m sorry Jihoon. I love you. I’ll see you around.” You open the door to the car.

“I, yeah. Take care of yourself.” Jihoon can’t look at you, no way in hell can he look at you as you close the door and drive off. He stands still in the cold, watching as the car disappears from his sight. He leans against the wall, head falling back as the tears start pouring freely.

As he pushes the door to the club open, it hits him hard, fills his whole body as a bone deep love for you settles. And it hurts, god does it hurt. Seungcheol’s calmed down, but the snide remark that slips past his lip doesn’t even register in Jihoon’s brain. All Jihoon recognizes is his tone, and that’s enough.

“I’ll punch you right in your fucking mouth, Seungcheol, I swear to god. Shut the fuck up.” Jihoon hardly ever makes threats, but when he does it has everyone going quiet. Seungcheol, Joshua and Mingyu stop in their tracks. There’s been enough drama for one night.

Jihoon grabs a new drink and chugs it, before he goes to grab his coat. He needs to get out of here before the sob building in his throat bursts.

You manage to keep your tears at bay until you enter your apartment. You find yourself in the bathroom, against the cold tile and the porcelain of the bathtub. You don’t do anything, just sit there and breathe as the tears flow freely.

It wasn’t supposed to end like that. You were supposed to have more time to reconcile with Jihoon. You and bathrooms have seen a lot of hurt. Most of your bad decisions are made in bathrooms. You don’t do anything, you just sit there for a few minutes as you cry.

Nothing happens the next night. Or the night after. A week after the release party, Jihoon still plagues your mind and that’s when you crack. Your old manager turned friend answers the phone.

“Hi. You okay?” Yena asks softly, voice ridden with sleep.

“Drive me to the hospital? I think I need stitches.” You laugh nervously. The adrenaline has worn off and all you feel is regret.

“Y/N.” She sighs, but it’s not disappointment. She’s seen a lot of things with you, and supported you through all of them. You’re the reason she quit being a manager and went back to university. You made her realize the idol life isn’t as glamorous as it seems, and you’ve formed a very solid friendship over the past five years. “You know they’re gonna keep you for a few days, right?”

“Yeah. I know. It was impulsive. Like, I’m fine now. I just couldn’t stop thinking.” You sigh.

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be on the way. Cold water and pressure until I get there, yeah?” You laugh softly.

“Already on it.” The call disconnects soon after, and you look up at the mirror. Briefly, you imagine Jihoon standing behind you in a much different situation than the one you’re in now.

His thick arms are wrapped around your waist, head leaning against yours. He’s smiling in your vision. You smile softly in your reflection, though it’s strained. The blood on your hands pulls you out of it.

a/n: i wrote this when i was going through it. i’m fine now but i seriously can’t do angst like i used to so i might write a part two or something where they end up back together.

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323cutie · 20 hours

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6:52 pm | song mingi

fluff, suggestive. 550 words.

a/n anyone else feel betrayed by the marie claire photoshoot... Cover them up slut.

“You’re sick,” you mumble the second Mingi’s in your sights. He’s halfway through taking off his shoes at the front door and you’re livid, stomping over to him with your arms crossed over your chest. He stares at you, wide-eyed, slowly bending over to take off his shoe and then stand by your front door awkwardly, hands clasped in front of him.

He asks, “what?”

“Sick!” You answer, pointing a finger at him. He flinches like you do physical damage. “Do you know how many people are out there looking at you?”

Mingi sighs, but follows you further into your apartment, standing by the counter as you enter your kitchen to finish making dinner. “Baby,” he starts, and you huff. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate.”

You check the stew bubbling on the stove, give it a few short stirs before popping a lid on and turning the heat down so it simmers. “First it was your stupid, slutty little waist,” you say, cleaning up the scraps of onion and shavings of carrots, shoving them into your trash can and ignoring Mingi’s semi-scandalized look. You remember that photoshoot clearly, practically carved into the inside of your skull – the all denim fit, the delicious curve of his silhouette, perfect tummy on display with the help of his top. “Now it’s your stupid, slutty collarbones –”

Mingi laughs and you glare, and he covers his mouth. “Thin ice, Song Mingi,” you threaten, watching as he steps closer to you. “Pull something like this again and who knows what’ll happen.”

“Like what?” He asks with a small smirk, hands reaching for your own in between you. “You’ll start acting like a brat again? Get all jealous?”

You open your mouth to say something but are evidently speechless, feeling a hot rush of something kin to embarrassment creep up your neck and ears. No way to defend yourself, you huff, because, well. Yeah, probably. Not much else you can do when your boyfriend happens to be the hottest man in the world. You turn your head away from him like it might help.

Mingi hums and easily presses a kiss to your cheek, one of his hands leaving yours and cradling the other side of your face. “Don’t worry, baby,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to your skin again, then down to the edge of your jaw, your chin. “My stupid, slutty body is all yours.”

It makes you snort out a laugh, turning your head back to face him again. He’s fond, you can tell, enraptured by your semi-serious display of possession. His equally semi-serious reassurance comes through loud and clear. “I come home to you every night, and that’s not changing anytime soon.”

“Hmm,” you start, pretending to think hard. Mingi's smile grows each second that passes. “Maybe I can forgive you this time, then.”

Mingi giggles with you and kisses you once, twice, three times on the lips before you’re laughing too hard to really press your lips to his. You push him away with the excuse of finishing dinner but he stays close, arms wrapped around your waist from behind as you tend to the stew on the stove.

(Maybe later you’ll convince him to make it up to you. You think seeing him on his knees in person is much more deserving of your forgiveness than a photo.)

#LIKE OK I GUESS I CAN FORGIVE U... weirdo..#ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez mingi drabble #ateez mingi x reader #ateez mingi imagine #song mingi drabble #song mingi imagine #song mingi x reader #mingi x reader #mingi drabble #mingi imagine #ateez mingi timestamp #ateez timestamp

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mxtxfanatic · 23 hours

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What finally pushes Wei Wuxian into a qi deviation isn’t the fact that Jiang Cheng showed up to hate-crime him and Lan Wangji, but the fact that Wei Wuxian showed up with the best of intentions—informing his dead guardians of his intentions to marry—just to be goaded into attacking their son in front of their tablets, the highest form of disrespect he could’ve performed in front of them. That Jiang Cheng could drag him down to such a level as to engage in something so disrespectful when Wei Wuxian showed up specifically to pay his respects is why it should not surprise anyone that Wei Wuxian’s last thoughts on Lotus Pier is that he wants to leave and never return:

It was only proper to show respect for the deceased. After all, they were at an ancestral hall.

...

Jiang Cheng was exactly who Wei WuXian had wanted to avoid; the last person he wanted to be seen by. Now that Jiang Cheng had found him, he knew he probably couldn’t escape fast enough without having harsh words flung his way. Wei WuXian didn’t want to start any unnecessary conflict, so he said, “I didn’t bring HanGuang-Jun anywhere that contained the Lotus Pier’s secrets. I’m just here to offer a few incense sticks to Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu. We are just leaving.”

—Chapt. 87: Core (Part 9), boat-full-of-lotus-pods

He turned to Jiang Cheng and said, “Jiang Cheng, listen to yourself. Do you even hear what you’re saying? Don’t forget who you are. You’re the leader of a sect. To insult a fellow cultivator from one of the Four Great Sects in front of Uncle Jiang and everyone’s memorial tablets. Where are your manners?”

...

All three of them had weapons out in front of the ancestral hall now. Jiang Cheng’s eyes were bloodshot as he snarled, “Fine! If you want a fight, then let’s fight! You think I’m afraid of you two?!” But just a few strikes later, Wei WuXian remembered, startled, that they stood before the ancestral hall of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. He had only just knelt and prayed in front of Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu for their protection a few moments ago. And now he was attacking their son with Lan WangJi right under their nose! As if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped over him, suddenly, spots appeared in front of Wei WuXian’s eyes and his vision darkened.

...

Wei WuXian did not answer him. Instead, he said, “Lan Zhan...... Let’s go.” Immediately. And never come back.

—Chapt. 88: Core (Part 10), boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Tellingly enough, Jiang Cheng does not hold the same sense of shame in the fact that he instigated a physical fight in the resting place of his ancestors nor that his intentions weren't to maintain decorum when he followed wangxian into the ancestral hall to begin with. In fact, he is fueled by rage to the point of irrationality before he even steps foot into the ancestral hall, so much so that he cannot even accept wangxian disengaging from the fight and attempting to leave on their own:

All the signs pointed to the same conclusion—there was now something more between Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi. Unable to make himself turn away or step forward to speak to them, Jiang Cheng had concealed himself and followed after them, reinterpreting their every exchange and gesture through a coloured lens. Feelings of disbelief, strangeness, and slight, mild disgust had momentarily been enough to overcome Jiang Cheng’s hatred. It was only when Wei WuXian had brought Lan WangJi into the ancestral hall that Jiang Cheng’s anger reawakened. The repressed, overwhelming rage consumed his rationality and manners.

...

Lan WangJi harbored no more desire to continue the fight with Jiang Cheng. Wordlessly, he pulled Wei WuXian onto his back and turned to leave. Jiang Cheng was plagued by alarm and suspicion. He was alarmed by the terrifying sight of blood suddenly oozing out of Wei WuXian’s qiqiao. Yet he was suspicious of whether the man was faking it for an excuse to run away. After all, it was a prank that Wei WuXian had pulled quite often in the past. At the sight of the two men leaving, Jiang Cheng called, “Stop!”

—Chapt. 88: Core (Part 10), boat-full-of-lotus-pods

#mdzs #jiang cheng #canon jiang cheng #human metas mxtx #it's actually funny in a sad sort of way how many times this section stresses #just how important and sacred the ancestral hall is #that it is a place of peace and tranquility that must be respected #just for fandom to come in and say that jc running loose at the mouth in front of his parents' tablet is A-ok #because being gay in front of dead people is the highest level of disrespect #higher than insulting your allies and respected individuals in front of those same dead people #higher than hate-criming someone #but hey what do i know? not like it's in the book how important this place is or whatever

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alphajocklover · 1 day

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As a kid, I watched a film that had these big cavemen tie a nerd to a pole before he was saved by his archaeologist friends. Since then, the idea of a bunch of cavemen taking a nerd to physically turn him into one of them while forcefully dumbing him down makes me so aroused. Too bad it didn't even happen in the movie, let alone real life...

‘Neanderthals!’ has been one of Terrance’s favorite movies since he was a kid, which made most of his friends very confused. A lot of them couldn’t figure out why he liked it so much. Terrance was the founder, president, and only member of his high school's movie club, the volunteer movie reviewer for his college newspaper, and generally the biggest movie buff that most people ever got to meet, but his favorite movie, out of all of the choices, was a C-list kids movie where a bunch of teen archeologist unfreeze three real cavemen who were stuck in an iceberg, and have to deal with their shenanigans. It was nothing special, just a lame kids movie that wasn’t even bad enough to be funny. None of his fellow movie buffs could figure out why you loved it so much, but the answer was surprisingly simple: that movie was Terrence’s sexual awakening. Watching the trio of muscular, hairy cavemen tie up a 15 year old nerd (who was played by a 19 year old actor for some reason) and dance around him ritually woke something up inside of him. He seriously thought for a moment that he was going to watch the nerd be turned into a caveman, and that fleeting thought has stuck in his mind for years like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He became fascinated with the idea of caveman transformations, and had watched the movie dozens of times over the years. Terrance had seen it so much he thought he knew everything about his favorite movie at this point, that he had every scene, every fact memorized. Until he heard about the missing scenes.

Like many small movies, the fanbase for it was incredibly small, but dedicated. It had one small reddit page, with about 7 people who regularly posted on it regularly, Terrance among them. Things were usually pretty calm there, until one day a newcomer to the forum reported that they had found a copy of the movie with deleted scenes. At first Terrance thought it had to be a scam, but the anonymous fan claimed he’d send a copy of the deleted scenes in the mail, for free, and Terrance accepted. He doubted the guy was trying to hack him with a DVD or something, so even though Terrance wasn’t expecting much, he gave the stranger his address (the address of a PO box. He wouldn’t give your address to a stranger, he was horny not crazy). He was shocked when he actually got the DVD as promised, and even more surprised when He put it on. As it blared to life, he immediately recognized the opening! It really was ‘Neanderthals!’ Or at least a version of it! The sender seemed to have cut out most of the scenes that were the same, leaving only the missing scenes and the opening left. Terrance watched in awe, laughing at the bloopers and making notes on the different scenes that were left out. Then, finally, they got to the scene you had been hoping for.

It started out mostly the same as it did in the original movie, with one of the teen archeologists, Hal the stereotypical nerd, being kidnapped by the three cavemen, who danced around a fire as he was tied to a nearby pole. But soon the scene changed, and unlike in the original, the cavemen turned their attention to their captive. One of the cavemen, the one who gets redeemed toward the end of the movie and marries one of the main character Moms (like I said this was a weird movie), went up to Hal and rubbed some colored mud on his face, making distinct ritualistic markings. Terrance felt warm excitement come over him as he watched the three cavemen chant and dance wildly, and watched as what he always wanted to happen happened. Hal’s skin tanned slightly and his hair grew longer, wilder and dirtier. Terrance watched, entranced, as his muscles grew beefy and defined, practically able to feel the warmth coming from the fire as you did. He could see the actor's eyes glaze over as his brain seemed to melt and devolve, and could practically feel the dumb guffaw he made echo in your ears as his face became more gruff and his intelligence drained. This was exactly what Terrance had always wanted, what Terrance had been dreaming of seeing for years! Terrance’s itch was finally being scratched, and it felt so good. Terrance felt so good. Terrance felt great! Terrance felt… horny! He practically tore off his clothing, struggling with the buttons for some reason, and began to pull at his cock. He felt himself laugh dumbly and began to mutter.

“Terry is so… horny… Terry wants… pussy!” Terrance said, despite having been gay mere moments before. He laughed dumbly as the remains of his clothing magically transformed, becoming a loincloth. Terry continued to jerk his now growing cock as his changes finalized. Terrance was gone, replaced with Terry, a dumb, buff caveman, and all Terry wanted to do was to find a cave girl to plow.

**hey there! First time doing a caveman TF. Found it very hot (but also hard to find pictures for). Hope you guys liked it!**

#muscle growth tf #muscle tf #caveman tf #reality change #gay to straight

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amaltheas-garden · 2 days

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What if Jon's sweetness in the bittersweet ending is his short lived love with Daenerys?

While I do think the show is probably accurate to what we'll get in the books in the broadest of strokes, there are still a lot of other plotlines to get through before Jon and Dany can even meet. For how long his books are, grrm really doesn't cover all that much time, meaning in just two books, Jon has to be resurrected (which I suspect won't happen until around the halfway point in Winds, since there's no point in Jon dying and coming back just a few chapters later), Sansa has to make it to the Wall, Arya has to return from Braavos and confront Lady Stoneheart, Littlefinger has to be taken care of, Jon and Sansa have to retake Winterfell, and the Starks have to reunite all amidst the growing threat of the whitewalkers. On Dany's side, Aegon has to get to King's Landing, Dany has to become leader of the Dothraki, fulfill all the bits of her prophecy (the 'to go West you must go East' one), and rally her armies to cross the narrow sea, and resolve ALL the loose ends in Essos since whence Dany leaves, that will be the last time we see it. And that's not including all the other stories, like the Dorne plot, Cersei/Jaime/Brienne, and Stannis/Davos/Melisandre, or accounting for the characters still very separate from everything (Sam off in Oldtown and Bran doing three eyed raven stuff). And all this is build up for the final cataclysmic conflict, the song of ice and fire. Now, that is a lot of content to get through, and when you start laying out every single thing that needs to be resolved, it becomes rather apparent why WoW is taking so long. The point is, Jon and Dany are not meeting in Winds, and it would be a miracle for them to meet even in the first half of Dream of Spring. That's why I highly doubt the relationship between Jon and Dany will be a genuine romantic one. Grrm is not the type to do a quick, star-crossed lovers plotline that ends tragically all within the span of a few hundred pages. A Jon x Sansa romance makes more sense, seeing as, if we accept Sansa as the girl in grey, she and Jon will spend the majority of two books with each other.

As for the show, there was nothing bittersweet in Jon having to kill his lover after she becomes a tyrant and threatens to murder his sisters, and for him to end the series by leaving his family for a lifetime of solitude. If book!Jon is destined to go beyond the wall after DoS, the 'sweetness' will be in knowing he did everything in his power to protect his family. No short-term love affair with Dany could ever replace the love Jon holds for the Starks.

Book wise, I doubt the Jon x Dany relationship will be one of genuine romantic love on Jon's part (see pol!Jon theory), and while Jon could end his story alone, I don't think a relationship with Dany is enough to fulfill a 'bittersweet' ending. I also recommend this incredible meta on Jon's ending (it does skew heavily Jonsa-centric) FedonCiadale — Sometimes scrolling through the Jonsa tag, I find... (tumblr.com) and they also have some other amazing answers on the bittersweet ending.

#jon snow #anti jonerys #<- not really (for filtering purposes)#jonsa #anon ask #ty for the ask <3

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idontplaytrack · 21 hours

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janis is being really mean (like ex regina style mean) to her friends and no one knows why and one day she goes to far and gets yelled at and than she breaks down and regina is her gf and is like wth is goiing on, Janis breaks down and tells her than she has to apologize to her friends.

Do you see me?

Janis 'Imi'ike x Regina George

Warnings: coarse language, angst, implied attempt

They all knew Janis was unafraid to speak her mind, but then things get out of hand and the reason had to be coaxed out by Regina

"Hey, you." Regina came up behind Janis and kissed her on the cheek. Janis froze, or flinched, Regina wasn't sure. But something out of the ordinary happened.

"You okay?" Regina asks in a quiet voice, obviously concerned.

Janis gave her nothing but a shrug before she proceeded to open up her locker to retrieve a textbook.

Regina wasn’t too convinced but let it slide. Then they went about their days like this brief conversation never happened. All was seemingly…fine until lunch when the whole group was sat together for the break. Aaron said some stupid joke that made everyone laugh— everyone but Janis. Then Karen teased her for being unamused, so Janis got pissed, in seconds. She stabs her fork into the food and was gripping onto it so hard, the plastic utensil easily broke into two.

Everyone saw it, everyone reacted— some more than others. Regina tried to stay nonchalant about it but her worry was steadily growing. Three days in a row something like this has happened now. And as reckless and well— extroverted as Janis tended to be usually, nothing worried the blonde more than when Janis was quiet.

After the day at school ended, Regina drove Janis home, but Regina doesn’t just leaves. She follows Janis into the garage. The Hawaiian doesn’t object, but Regina was doubtful that she even knew that she was right behind her.

“Janis, will you talk to me, please?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s just stress.” Janis answered curtly, dropping her backpack with a thud.

“About?” Regina pressed.

Janis snaps, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Regina flinched, startled by the tone. Yes, Regina got scared by the tone. Janis ignored her from that point on, changing into comfy clothes then just crawled into her bed and slept. Regina hung around for a bit then left, defeated. Closing the garage door, she was met with Janis’ dad in the driveway. “Mr. ‘Imi’ike, hi. I was just dropping Janis off.”

“Hi, Regina.” The man gave her a kind smile, he was always happy to see her. The guy didn’t have a single mean bone in his body— he was too nice. Even after knowing what Regina did to his daughter in middle school. He said he believes that everyone has a reason for why they act differently, as long as they were willing to admit that and change…all was good. And so Regina fought the urge to ask him directly if Janis was okay. It’s only been a few days, right? Maybe it was just PMS. That wasn’t unusual.

“See you tomorrow.” Mr. ‘Imi’ike chuckles, “Drive safe, stinker.”

Regina shook her head in disbelief and guffaws. That nickname, from years ago. He randomly started to use it for Regina one day and it just stuck. Janis was ‘peanut’ — even till today, her Dad still called her that. Regina thought it was cute.

As Regina drove off, Mr. ‘Imi’ike enters the garage after knocking on the door. “Hi, peanut.” He poked his head in, “Do you want to have lunch with your —”

“No.” Janis answered quickly, “Not happening.”

“Okay.” He nodded in understanding. He didn’t want to ask her that, he was forced to.

“Could you just bring it in here for me?” Janis requested, “Please?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Her Dad agreed, “I’ll be right back.”

Janis moves over to her desk in the meantime, diving right back into working on her art pieces. Art pieces, plural. She’d been busy with a few of them to make the deadline of a portfolio submission for one of her dream schools. She hears two voices in the house, which had only become a thing lately. Janis cringes, she hates it when they are like that— squabbling. Mr. ‘Imi’ike returns with the food: pineapple fried rice and teriyaki beef skewers. Delicious.

“Wow, thanks Dad.” Janis forced a smile. It was one of her favourite lunches ever, and she didn’t want her Dad to worry any more than he already was.

Her Dad set the plate down on her desk, stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her head, “Eat well, ipo. I’ll go get you a drink too. What do you want?”

“Ah, we don’t have that drink here, Dad. You know that.” Janis says with a laugh.

“Hawaiian Sun? Who says we don’t?” He grins, “I brought some back for you when I went home to Hawai’i.”

Janis gasped, “Really? Guava nectar flavour too?”

“Especially that. I know that’s your favourite.” He laughs similarly, “I’ll just be a sec.”

This little conversation took her mind off of what she was working on, which was a much needed break. Janis had been working on those pieces pretty much non-stop when she was at home.

“Thanks.” Janis says, immediately cracking open the can to take a sip of her beloved beverage.

“Of course.”

And so, Janis ate her lunch while watching some TV. She’d moved again, over to her couch and just focused on her meal. Because let’s face it, those school lunches aren’t ever filling enough to actually be a lunch.

Janis didn’t hear from anyone else that day, not even Regina. And she didn’t even realise. Janis couldn’t be bothered by that, all she could think about was the portfolio completion. That was her only focus. Regina on the other hand, was contemplating whether or not to text the girl, but she of course, ended up not doing so and the rest of Janis’ evening ended up being awfully quiet. Not that she even noticed because she was so engrossed in finishing her art pieces.

Her current piece? A painting of a wilted hibiscus, with a chrysanthemum growing right by it. She was barely finished, but her Dad came in later that night and urged her to turn in for the night.

“G’night, peanut.”

Janis chuckles, “Good night, Dad.”

“Sleep tight, love you.”

————

The next day, the first half of the day was fine. Janis made it through without much trouble. And like yesterday, the problem came during lunch. All the chatter and laughter was driving Janis nuts, and she typically would be joining in on it. But given how occupied she’d been with the portfolio, that was the only thing on her mind. Everything else…was just noise. Loud, irritating noise.

“Janis, what are you thinking about?” Damian asked. She exhaled harshly, not bothering to even look at her best friend, “Did you have one of those silly ass dreams again last night?”

“Shut up.” Janis muttered.

“Come on, he’s just worried about you, Jay.” Regina continued, “And honestly, I am too.”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone’s worried about the art freak.” Janis stabs her fork into a dumpling, “Who cares? Stop annoying me.” Her mind quickly drifts again, back to a specific moment on Monday.

Janis had just gotten home from school on her own since Regina had lacrosse practice on Mondays. And while she was expecting the house to be quiet because her Dad would be at work, but instead, she saw her Dad sitting at the counter with a woman. It seemed so ridiculous, Janis thought her eyes must've been playing tricks on her. The woman, was her mother, who up and left her and her Dad almost eleven years ago without a word. “Oh, my God. Janis!” The woman gasped, smiling brightly at the sight of the teen— like she hadn’t just shown up here after more than a decade of being absent and wanting nothing to do with them. “I don’t know who you are, don’t try to hug me. I won’t like it and neither will you” Janis bit the inside of her cheek, her hand still clutching onto one backpack strap. Before her mother could even walk close enough, Janis disappeared through a side door into her garage. “Leave her alone, Leilani.” Janis hears him talking to her mother as she leaves the side door.

With her garage being soundproofed, Janis knew she could safely scream. So she did, but not without unintentionally smacking some items on her table to the floor. Then she was sobbing, her heart was confused, but her head was clear— she hated that woman for what she’d done, leaving her all alone, leaving her father all alone. How dare she just come back like she hadn’t done anything wrong? Yes, Leilani was her mother, but she’s never acted like one. From the moment Janis was old enough to remember, the woman’s almost never around. Every single early memory? Was just Janis and her dad, Janis and Damian, even Janis and Regina. Never ever Janis and her mom. Why couldn’t her heart agree with her head? Janis hated that, she hated this feeling. It made her feel like shit.

Once she’d stopped crying, Janis picked herself up and sat at her desk, starting a new painting with the wilted hibiscus and growing chrysanthemum.

Janis wasn’t sure how, but she managed to make it through another day at school without fully blowing her top. But today, Regina wasn’t going to let whatever this was, go.

“Why is everyone here?” Janis leaned against the doorframe.

“To hang out.” Regina answers simply.

“What are you trying to do? I don't need saving or whatever this is.”

“I already said, I’m worried. I wanna help you.”

“I don’t need your help!” Janis snapped, shutting the door. But Regina held it open, so did Aaron when Janis tried to shove it shut again. “Something is going on. I am not leaving until you tell me what is happening because this isn’t like you.” Regina inhales deeply, blinking away tears. “Let me in. Please, Janis. You don’t have to be dealing with it alone.” Janis’ palm falls from the door, and she moves off to the side, Regina enters the artist’s garage with the rest of the gang. “Who’s that with your Dad?” Gretchen asks, seeing the pair talking in the front yard after walking out from the house. Janis scrambled to shut the door and lock it. “Um— it’s strange having all of you here like that but I owe all of you an apology. How I’ve been acting all week with you guys was messed up. I’ve been stressed about submitting my portfolio on time to the colleges I hope to be able to attend, and then my Mom who’s basically been no part of my life showed up here on Monday after school like she didn’t abandon me and my Dad without an explanation more than a decade ago, and I just— I lost it, I was so thrown off I didn’t know how to help myself, pick myself back up and I just also didn’t know how to tell anyone because none of you guys knew at all about my Mom, not Damian, not Regina. So I was in a bad, bad mood, I tried channelling all those emotions into my art but still, it was bugging me, it was bugging me so badly I just became a mess.”

The group’s never been this silent, a few were stunned, the others were shocked and worried. Each of them felt a combination of those feelings, merely a fraction of what Janis has had to deal with. But even then, it already felt like a lot. “I don’t want my Dad to get hurt again, I can’t lose him too. He’s all I’ve got here, my family’s miles away. He moved us here to get a fresh start after my Mom left us, a part of me died back home in Hawai’i. My home, became the most painful, most traumatic place. Such a beautiful place became so ugly because of one person’s decision. My earliest memory of her, was her leaving. I remember my Dad keeping it together for my sake, but I would always hear him crying when I was up late at night. I’ll never be able to forget any of that— he was always so happy, so carefree. He gave me everything, and then I was the one who almost left him alone too. One thing I did right was not going through with my attempt— I could never hurt my Dad too. But I don’t get it, why doesn’t he just tell her to go? I never told him, after the ‘obsessed lesbian’ shit in middle school got too much, I wanted to end it, the only way I knew how, the only way I knew would end the pain forever. He doesn’t know to this day and I will never be able to bring myself to tell him, I don’t want to give him another blow to his heart. So I’ve just been working through that on my own during therapy. But then, well, this happened. I’m sorry that I’ve been so rude and bitchy, I didn’t mean any of it.”

Regina immediately engulfed her in a hug, “I'm so sorry.”

“I know you are, we already talked about it. We’re good.” Janis sniffled, “Guys, I’m really sorry, it’s just been so difficult.”

They all crowded around the couple for a group hug, which Janis appreciated but would never outwardly admit just yet. The apology in this setting was a big enough step forward.

“We can ask that woman to leave, you know?” Damian quirked a brow.

“No.” Janis decided, “I’ll do that. Right now.”

Janis entered the house before anyone could stop her. Dumbfounded, they just watch her walk inside.

“Dad. She has to go, I don’t care what she’s been telling you but she’s history.” Janis stood tall, but was trying to fight the painful lump forming in her throat.

“I’ve missed you, ipo.”

“You’ve missed me?” Janis scoffed, “It took you eleven fucking years to realise that and come here? I don’t know what you’re trying to do after being nonexistent in my life. My earliest memory of you was you leaving us. You have no clue how hard life has been, you have no idea what we had to go through because of you. You’ve got no idea what kind of shit started because of your decision to abandon your own partner and daughter. You see me here now, standing in front of you in one piece. But you have broke me inside in more ways than you could’ve ever imagine so don’t come up to me saying you miss me because I don’t know you at all. We had to leave home, because of you. We had to leave family because of you. Grandma and grandpa hated you, and I couldn’t understand why when I was little because I was just sad mommy was gone. But when I was old enough, I remembered— you, were never there. Dad was there through all of it. Every single milestone, elementary school graduation, middle school, my first fucking period, my first heartbreak, high school, and everything in between. While you…you were nowhere. Then you just waltz in here like you went on a weekend away? No. No! You don’t get to do that and expect forgiveness. Stop trying, it’s already been over the second you thought about walking out on us."

"She's right. Please listen to your daughter if you love her like you claim you do. We don't need any of this— not now, not ever. We don't need you. We've been just fine, the both of us."

Janis felt like she blacked out, but felt a pair of arms around her: her dad's, of course. She hears Leilani getting up from the stool at the same time he shields her eyes from witnessing her mother's second departure. Only this time, it was going to be good for them because they were doing perfect without her before she reappeared.

"i got you. I got you, Jains. We're okay. I promise." Her Dad assured, holding her close, "Regina, I know you're standing there, get over here."

" I wasn't listening—"

"I know." He nods, "Just thought she might want you."

Regina nodded, giving the kind man a tight-lipped smile as she wraps her arms around Janis once her Dad let go. "Guys, don't go yet, I'll make you all something to eat. Dinnertime's soon anyway, just hang around, huh?'

"Thank you, Dad."

"Ah, no problem at all, peanut. You're my baby girl, it's always been you and me. Hm? And it always will be."

Regina held Janis' face in her hands, lightly squishing her cheeks before her thumb caressed her tear-stained cheek. "I love you, I will always be here for you. I swear on my life that you will always have me in your corner. You will always have us in your corner, no matter where life takes us for college or our jobs. We’re gonna be there no matter what it takes, life’s tough sometimes but together we’re sure as hell tougher.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

I’m so sorry this took such a long time, but here it is! Thank you for waiting🥲

#auli'i cravalho #renee rapp #mean girls 2024 #janis 'imi'ike #regina george #rejanis #wlw fanfiction #lesbian #mgmm fics #alternative universe #angst #fluff ending #janis 'imi'ike x regina george #character x character

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sleepyspudbrainrot · 1 day

Text

Carry You Home (Pt. 3)

Roman Reigns x Lale (OC) | 18+, NSFW, eventual smut, fluff | 2281 words

Pt. 3 of that fluff piece... hopefully y'all enjoy this part as much as the other two.

This is based off of the August 11, 2023 Episode of Smackdown (I absolutely had to go back and watch it recently in order to get my brain back together.)

And let me not forget to tag ... @southerngirl41 & @tshepisho❤️️

“Deuces Uces!”

Lale’s hands clasped over her mouth, her shock not nearly as audible as the rest of the stadium that surrounded her. A sea of signs that had once blocked out the led screens that encircled the stadium, were now crumpled at the feet of the frantic crowd. Some frantic to reach their hands out to the departing Uso, other’s looking between themselves and the dazed form of Roman Reigns in the ring below. Lale couldn’t figure out where to look. At Jey Uso, a friend to her and cousin to Roman, or to the fallen man in the ring.

The vibrating of her phone was nearly not enough to bring her out of her daze. Even now, she still held one hand clasped over parted lips, her other hand thumbing open the screen. A text scrolled across her screen from Kayla Braxton, the main backstage correspondent for Smackdown and one of her closest friends. An invitation backstage, to get a feel for the chaos seemed to be spreading through the Scotiabank Saddledome. It was almost as if someone else had control of her limbs. She’d grabbed Cathy Kelley’s hand at some point, mumbling something about backstage. Thankfully she didn’t seem to question it.

By the time they made it backstage, Kayla was nowhere to be found. In her place stood the three people she’d least expected to find lingering in Gorilla. Joe, Paul, and last but not least Sefa. “I can’t believe those two. This is what they’ve been hiding from us all week?” The trio were deep in conversation, clearly just as thrown by the events that had unfolded in the stadium as the rest of the crowd was. Lale hung back, fingers brushing the black curtains that marked the hallway that led out to the main stadium.

“You’re not going to go say hi?”

Lale blinked over at Cathy, who stood beside her with a knowing grin. “Kayla didn’t summon me back here to meet up with her did she…” Cathy shrugged, not giving any indication one way or the other, which was an answer in and of itself. “He looks busy… I don’t want to get in the middle of all - -” She gestured vaguely at the trio, who were now turned to look at her. Joe’s face had quickly shifted from the storm of frustration, to something that could’ve been easily misconstrued as… amusement? Nope there was no misconstruing that. He was amused.

“Never knew you to be the type to crash backstage ma.”

Lale rolled her eyes. “I normally don’t unless invited and since you clearly weren’t about to, Kayla did.” She sighed softly, running a hand through her tousled hair. “Thanks for the tickets by the way, you really didn’t need to send those. I was half expecting another car to sweep me away for another private dinner.” Cathy’s eyes widened beside her. “Or was that supposed to be our secret?”

“Looks like you got your bite back… I’m surprised after tonight. Thought your jaw would never come up off the floor after what Jey pulled…”

Lale blinked up at Joe, seeing a flash of the earlier frustration cloud his features. “So I take it creative didn’t exactly - -” Sefa was quick to cut her off. “They fuckin’ didn’t tell us anything. All these last minute changes, it’d be nice to know about some of them so we’re not having to improv as much.” Paul didn’t say much, but Joe’s features shifted. “It makes for a better story, you and I both know that. It wouldn’t make sense for the betrayal to have come from such… superficial reasons. No one ever does anything just for the tribal chief.”

There it was, that flash of Roman Reigns who’d been out there on that stage. The persona that filled rooms and turned the normally eloquent and put together Paul Heyman into a quivering mess. “I’ll have to have a talk with creative. I understand not telling you guys, so that the reactions are genuine but not telling me?” Paul clicked his tongue. “Anyway, since it seems you guys have plans and I do not want to be the one to keep you from them. So I’ll see you guys tomorrow? Hopefully I’ll have better news.”

Paul’s departure left a gap in the conversation, one that Sefa struggled to fill. Thankfully Cathy seemed to pick up on that and offered to walk with him back towards the lockers in the hopes that she could track down Kayla. Which then left Lale all alone with Joe. While she’d been big talk when Cathy was beside her, something about not having back up had left her feeling vulnerable. She’d been joking about the private dinners. Joe and she hadn’t been truly alone in months. They’d been texting consistently, the older man sending her food on days he knew were rough, but outside of that, their interactions had been limited to just that.

“So what was that about a private dinner?”

Lale settled into the plush leather of the Escalade beside Joe, a comfortable silence filling the luxurious blacked out vehicle that he’d summoned to take them away from the Scotiabank Saddledome and towards their destination for the night. Somehow, even with last minute notice Joe had managed to get them a table at an upscale italian place downtown. She’d had to resist the urge to check the menu, and honestly see what the actual hours were because she had a feeling that he’d called in a favor or two.

“Am I over or under dressed?”

Joe had been lost to his thoughts, blinking slowly at the woman beside him inquisitively. “What?”

“Am I over or under dressed for where we’re going?” Lale would’ve normally been annoyed at having to repeat herself, however given what had just went down at the stadium. Regardless of the reality. She could almost sense the moments playing out in his head and knew he deserved a little bit of grace.

“You look perfect. It’s after hours, so I can guarantee that they’re not going to give a fuck about a dress code.”

It was something that she herself should’ve realized. The man beside her was clad in a pair of gym shorts and a tshirt that clung to his well defined muscles. Compared to her crop top and jean shorts, they were about evenly match in terms of potentially violating a dress code. Silence fell between them once more. The smooth ride of the Escalade allowing to watch the world outside of them with very little interruption.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Lale was surprised to see a few cars sprinkled throughout the parking lot. Joe seemed to sense her confusion, resting a casual hand on her back as they made their way inside. “Couple of friends were already planning on joining us ma, nothing to worry about. We’ll still have our privacy.” A sly wink as he held the door open for her, her eyes wandering across the elegantly decorated space. Tables with plenty of room between them, alcoves that seemed to hold a table for two, then others with tables that seemed to be able to accommodate a whole party. The floors beneath her feet were a deep mahogany, the walls adorned with very little to allow emphasis on the wall to wall floor to ceiling windows. The same windows that allowed for a gorgeous view of the city as well as the stars that flickered in the night sky.

“Too much?”

Lale could only hope that her mouth hadn’t been hanging open for too long. “It’s stunning Joe… and I absolutely feel under dressed.” Too much skin exposed, not enough elegance, and yet somehow they weren’t looked at any differently than the few patrons who remained in suits and dresses.

“Order anything you’d like, my treat.”

He’d been treating her so often lately and yet she still felt like she was taking advantage of his kindness. Perhaps it was payment for all the times he’d teased her and given her a hard time. Even tho… did he really owe her for any of that? She sighed softly, settling into the chair across from Joe, smoothing the napkin on her lap.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about mama? I know that look. You tend to get that look any time an interview doesn’t go your way.”

There it was, the jabs she’d been expecting. Somehow that actually brought a sense of comfort, to a night that had absolutely thrown her for a loop. “Trying to figure out what all this means?” It was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “Between Kayla texting me and meeting up with you instead. This private dinner, when they’d really been limited to texting ever since that night a couple of months ago…

“You’re wondering why tonight. Why after all the drama, why I’m not out with the boys, or giving the twins an earful. And I’m instead out here with you, wining and dining you in a way that doesn’t quite line up with anything we’ve been doing. Sound about right?”

“Please remove yourself from my brain, thanks.”

The laugh that escaped Joe shook his shoulders, his head shaking along with it and his hair falling into his face from where it had fallen from his hair tie. “Have you ever considered that your thoughts are practically broadcast on your face ma? Or at the very least… I know what the texts and the food deliveries and everything else have felt like the last two months? Friendly support and this…” He gestured to the intimate setting, the alcove that protected them from prying eyes while still leaving them a perfect view of the floor to ceiling windows. “This is more. Though I would’ve thought we crossed that more threshold that first night. But again, that’s just me.”

His teasing wink sent color spreading across her cheeks. “I honestly… I don’t know how to count that night. It was appreciated and… unexpected… considering how much trouble you’d given me in the past. I… thank you Joe.” She realized as the words left her mouth, that this was the first time she’d properly thanked him for the emotional support he’d provided. From saving her from herself that night.

“So this is something that’s been in the works for a while hasn’t it.”

Joe raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching upwards in what Lale could only assume was a smirk. “Certainly cutting to the chase aren’t you. Yes I’ve thought about this for a while, no it’s not exactly been in the works. I didn’t want to put pressure on you with everything else that’s going on in your life.” He reached across the table to rest his hand on hers. “But tonight wasn’t exactly in the cards. I was just so frustrated with creative not sharing these last minute changes, with the improv that Sefa brought to the table… that seeing you…” He shrugged, shifting in his chair, his gaze moving away from hers. “Seeing you was exactly what I needed. And I owe Kayla big time for getting you back there.”

Her suspicions confirmed, Lale released a breath she hadn’t intended on holding. “I think… I also owe her big time for this.” She turned her hand under his, her fingers curling around his. It was a gesture that Joe returned with a soft squeeze, his expression softening as they held on to one another across the table.

A few hours later, the pair stumbled out of the restaurant. Joe’s arm comfortably around Lale’s shoulder, her hand resting against his chest as they headed back towards the waiting Escalade. The dinner had flown by with conversation, laughter, and at least a bottle and a half of wine between them. Lale was lost in the warmth and presence of the man beside her and, if she was being honest with herself, didn’t want this night to end.

The car sat idling beside them and both were hesitant to open the door. To start the journey back to their hotel that would signify the end to their night. Joe was looking down at her now, large calloused palm brushing hair out of her face, grazing her cheek on it’s way by. “Lale…” He leaned in close, strong arms framing her against the vehicle. “Joe?” She looked up at him through her eyelashes, tongue wetting her lip, letting her hands rest comfortably against his chest.

“Can I?”

She knew exactly what he was asking and nodded. His lips descended upon hers. A gentle gesture given the size of the man, as well as the character he played for the masses. Her eyes drifted closed, arms wrapping around his shoulders. His arms moved from the car, one arm wrapping around her waist, the other reaching up to cup her jaw and deepen the kiss. Her lips parted eagerly, his tongue sliding between to claim hers. Fireworks went off from somewhere. Or if she’d been paying attention, the light of a camera flash. Either way, she was too lost in the moment for any of it to matter.

He pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead against hers, his chest heaving. “Come back to my room with me?”

Lale was not quite that tipsy. She looked up at him once more, an eyebrow raised as she met his gaze.

“Okay, not like that… like that first night yeah? Just… this time don’t go hiding in the shower first?”

Lale snorted, teeth worrying at her bottom lip as she considered. “Alright, as long as you’re good with stopping by my room first. I would like to actually shower this time… deal?”

“Deal.”

#roman reigns x oc #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #sleepyspudbrainrotfic #roman reigns fluff #carry you home

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onskepa · 1 day

Note

Could you do a human x sulys reacting to her tattoo. It could be a medusa one but if you have a better idea for a tattoo, use that!

Okie, I searched far and wide and I found a good one! Enjoy!

P.S: I will try to not be super specific on where the tattoo is placed, I leave that to your imagination

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Slukx

It was a hot day in the forest, seasons are not normal in Pandora but what they are going through can be somewhat called ‘summer’. It was also a wonderful time where the water in lakes, rivers, ponds, lagoons all are nice and cool. Perfect to beat the heat. So that is where the sully family had an idea. The children invited their close friends to join in as well.

Neytiri knew the perfect spot where it was spacious for everyone, safe and had a beautiful view of the waterfalls. Even fish if they get hungry. It was going to be a fun day that everyone looked forward to.

“CANONBAAAAAAAAALL!!” Jake shouts out as he jumps into the water, causing a massive splash. His kids all laugh happily and start to splash him. Neytiri makes sure all the items are set before joining in with her family.

She looks back, beckoning the family friend.

“Slukx, come, the water is clear and very refreshing” she says.

Slukx nods as she starts to take off her outer clothes, leaving only her swimming outfit.

“I'm going, i'm going” she replies, making sure she is set, she climbs up from where Jake launched himself and jumps into the water as well. Swimming to where everyone was at, slukx reamurges up for air.

“Wow, this is nice,” she compliments.

“What is that???” tuk asks, her eyes wide. Everyone else all staring at the same spot. Slukx looks at them confused.

“What is what?” she asks.

“That” kiri points to a certain area of her body.

“Is that a tattoo?” Jake asks.

“Oh, yeah, it's a tattoo” slukx replies simply, not seeing a big deal about it. She tries to swim away but gets dragged back.

“How come we have never seen this tattoo before?” Jake asks as he holds slukx.

“I don't see the big issue” she replies.

“Nonsense, tattoos are sacred here. Is it the same for sky people? Making a mark of achievement in the form of ink?” Neytiri asks. Slukx and Jake share a look.

“Something like that, yeah” Jake answers.

The kids get closer to observe the tattoo in great detail.

“Its so cool!”

“Weird patterns”

“Why that shape?”

“They look like fangs!”

“Does it have meaning?”

The kids wouldn't stop asking, needing to know. Slukx chuckles as she gently silences them. “Look, I get you all want to know, but for now I just want to swim around. We came here to enjoy ourselves. So let's do that, yeah? Later I promise to explain the meaning behind my tattoo”.

Everyone seemed to agree and continue on with their swimming. However, from time to time the kids can't help but get closer to stare at the ink itched on her skin.

Night came, after fishing everyone was having their fill. Enjoying good roasted fish with berries and clean water. Sharing funny moments anyone can recall, Jake and Neytiri sharing their stories of their younger years and so on.

Fire was light, bringing warmth and light to their small area. Overall the fun is still going until they pass out.

Until then, slukx was enjoying her meal when she couldnt ignore 5 sets of oogling eyes.

“Yes? Do you need something?” she asks without needing to turn her head.

“Soooo….about the tattoo” spider drags his words a bit.

“You promised you would tell us!” tuk pushes a bit as she crawls close to see the tattoo again.

“Alright, I did promise” slukx gives in. The children cheer and gather in front of her, jake and Neytiri doing the same. All eyes and ears on her. So, clearing her throat, she begins to explain the reasoning and meaning behind her tattoo.

“This symbol is called ‘Odin’s three horns’. It is from an old legend, like a thousand year old legend. From an era called ‘the iron age’” slukx begins to explain.

“Vikings, just say vikings” jakes slightly interrupts her with a none impressed expression. Neytiri lightly hit his head as she hissed, “silent, let her talk”.

“Thank you neytiri, now as I was saying. Yes, Vikings were the ones who created this symbol” slukx goes on.

“What are vikings??” Kiri asks.

Slukx boops her nose, “that's for another time”

“Anyways, the Odin’s three horns have a very unique meaning. One that I believe I reflect myself upon” she goes on.

Neteyam gets closer, “what does it mean?” he asks.

Slukx points to each horn, “pursuit of knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration. I have come a long way net. To learn, to grow, and to find new paths. Much like all of you”.

“Beautiful…” Neytiri was sort of awe struck. The symbol was odd, but the meaning is amazing.

“There is also a story behind it too”

“Yes! Story time!!” tuk cheers as she snuggles up next to slukx. Everyone gets into a much more comfortable position to hear the story. Clearing her throat, slukx begins to tell.

“The myth says that the triple horn was once real, and it contained a source that if consumed, those who drink it will have…”

I might, might not link this story to a future fic! But! I hope you are ok with the symbol I chose, I thought it would fit more with the story. Hopefully you enjoyed it! Until next time! See ya!

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Slukx = Horn of animal

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buckysgrace · 2 days

Text

2. Eyes Without a Face

Billy Hargrove x Fem!OC/Tommy Hagan x Fem!OC

Now That We Don't Talk

Three Years Later

Tommy

He viewed Kim differently now.

He still loved her in the same manner, perhaps even more in his opinion. Being married and having a child together had really changed his point of view. He wasn’t ever sure if he’d really be happy getting married. His eyes had a bad habit of wandering, of thinking that there could be more out there for him.

Kim hadn’t given him an option to think about anyone else after their honeymoon. She had gotten pregnant right away, surprising him completely. They had always been safe. He didn’t see how it was possible, but he had been happy nonetheless. A baby was special.

Sex was new between them, on the rare occasion that they had it. He used to be rough; enjoyed pulling her hair and smacking her skin. He no longer liked to do that. He supposed it was fairly plain, vanilla for sure. He just didn’t feel right being so brutal with the mother of his child.

Nora was anything but a handful. With rosy cheeks, golden red hair and big blue eyes; a looker, just like her mother. She acted like Kim too. Always getting into things, eyes full of curiosity and a nose that was able to sniff out sweets for miles. Other than that, she didn’t do anything too chaotic. A little angel.

He had made a deal with Kim, well, rather he had pleaded with her to take his suggestion. He worked and she stayed at home with Nora. It was easier that way. Kim was motherly, had no issue changing diapers and wiping runny noses. Tommy didn’t like any of it. Not the messy part. He could play with Nora for hours but once she got fussy or overheated, she went straight back to Kim.

“Hi,” Kim waved from the kitchen, her hair pulled back into a ponytail as she held Nora against her left side. She stirred something in her right hand, nodding her head as Nora babbled off while she finished off a creamsicle, “How was work?”

“Good,” He replied, quickly kissing the side of her cheek and narrowly avoiding Nora’s sticky hands, “Uh, we’re going to have one more over for dinner.” He added, smiling as he tapped the top of Nora’s head.

“Oh?” She asked as she looked up, hazel eyes inquisitive as Nora mirrored her expression. Tommy still thought it was funny that Nora had ended up with blue eyes, instead of brown like theirs, “Who is it? It’s not Jason, is it? That guy is a creep.” She reminded him of her disdain, making him sigh deeply.

“He’s not a creep,” Tommy defended him quickly, knowing he just got a bad reputation, “But no. It’s not Jason. It’s uh, someone you like.” He replied, hoping that was still the case. Kim stopped for a second, analyzing him for a long time.

“Is there a reason you’re being secretive about it?” She questioned him sourly, nose scrunching up like she was scared about what his answer would be. He honestly wasn’t too sure about how she’d react. Neither of them had seen Billy in so long.

“It’s your brother,” He introduced slowly as he pulled a smile on his face, “Yay! Uncle Billy is coming to town!” He cheered, clapping his hands as Nora began to bounce and giggle in Kim’s arms. Kim, on the other hand, looked less than pleased.

“What do you mean he’s coming to town?” She bore a pained expression as she pushed her pan of food off of the burner, quickly shutting the heat off before she placed Nora on the ground. The toddle whined, gripping a hold of her jeans with sticky fingers.

“Well,” Tommy paused, “I guess he lost his job, had a little relapse incident, and then his girlfriend kicked him out. Ex girlfriend I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck, deciding that he was going to keep a few more details out. He had a feeling she’d say no if she knew the full story.

But she already looked like she didn’t like his answer. She played with her hair, a little telltale sign that she was nervous. But he also knew that it likely meant that she’d give in anyways. She still didn’t like to say no, even if it made her uncomfortable.

He knew that there was some well deserved hesitancy there. The last time either of them had seen Billy had been at the wedding. He had skipped the exchanging of the vows, but then showed up to the reception more drunk than Tommy had ever seen him. He had made a fool of himself.

“You couldn’t ask me first?” She asked, dampening a paper towel before she began to scrub Nora’s face and hands clean. He watched, glad that he had stayed out of the toddler’s sticky path.

“Oh come on, he’s your brother,” He said quickly, “And he’s all alone in Los Angeles. No wonder he has all the drug issues.” He gestured about with his hands, a little jealous that Billy had such wild stories to share. Tommy felt like he hadn’t really gotten to experience anything with getting married so young. And having a baby straight away.

“He hates it here.” She mumbled, keeping her eyes focused on Nora as she continued to try and talk at the same time Tommy was.

“That could change,” He shrugged his shoulders, “What happened between you two anyways?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to recall the last time they’d spoken. In fairness, he hadn’t spoken to Billy in years either. But he and Kim had been raised together.

“What?” She snapped her head towards him, eyes wide with worry. He shrugged his shoulders, not sure why she seemed so on edge.

“I mean you guys don’t talk anymore,” He said slowly, “Surely something had to happen.” He pried a little deeper, wondering if there was something she was keeping from him. Surely not.

“We just never got along, different interests,” She brushed his inquiries away as she began to make Nora’s plate with one hand, “And he’s not my brother.” She replied stiffly, smiling as Nora patted her shoulder in confusion.

“No Uncle Biwwy?” Nora asked, eyes filled with sadness as she rested her wet cheek against Kim’s chest. Tommy winced, wondering how Kim could stand the mess.

“Yeah,” He added as he rested his chin on his fingers and pouted his lips out, “No Uncle Biwwy? Because I promised him the spare room until he got on his feet. He should be here anytime. I uh, need to figure something out if he can’t stay here.” He replied awkwardly, balancing on the tips of his toes in hopes of changing her mind.

“I didn’t say he couldn’t,” She sighed as she shifted Nora once again, pausing as she brought a damp towel up and began to wipe her face clean, “I wish you would’ve just asked. You never ask.” She reminded him, making him wish he could roll his eyes. He didn’t like how that was always the argument. He asked when he needed to. For important things. Most of the time.

“I’m asking now.” He replied as he stood up a little straighter, feeling like he didn’t have to ask to have someone stay in his own home. The one that he had bought and was still paying for.

“You’re telling me,” She clarified with a soft smile, “I’m not his maid though. He’s going to have to pick up after himself.” She nodded her head along, looking like she was determined to keep some ground rules for herself.

“Cool,” Tommy replied as he nodded along, “Uh is it done, hun? Because I’m starving.” He glanced into the pot, desperately wanting something to eat.

“Go ahead,” She responded as she walked away, holding Nora in one hand and her food in the other. He did as she requested, filling his plate full as she ensured that Nora’s tray wasn’t too hot. She always sat with Nora as she ate first, then made her own plate after, “I need to get the guest room ready, can you watch her?”

“Yeah, she’s my daughter.” He snorted, sometimes irritated with the way she thought he couldn’t handle things. He was perfectly capable of watching her eat.

“Tommy,” She said in exasperation, “I just need you to make sure she doesn’t choke on anything.” She replied, pushing her hair out of her face as Nora placed her spoon into her mouth.

“She’s going to be four, she should know what she’s doing. Right, Nora?” He tilted his head, smiling down at the little redhead.

“Wight.” She giggled as she nodded her head, smiling brightly up towards Kim. She sighed in agreement but didn’t look so reassured.

“I was just teasing,” He said as he noticed Kim staying near Nora, “I’ll watch her. Go clean up the room.” He felt a little bad, knowing that they didn’t always understand each other anymore. He didn’t think either of them were getting what they really wanted; but he supposed that was just marriage.

“It can wait,” She said, smiling and pretending to take a bite as Nora offered her a handful, “She’ll need a bath anyways.”

He took his own shower while Kim used the other bathroom to bathe Nora, then prepare the guest room. Even though Tommy thought it was clean enough, she had her list already planned out. But it was the room where he had been storing most of his spare things.

“Can you watch her?” Kim asked as she peeked down into the living room, Nora hot on her trail. She clung to her everywhere she went.

“Uh, why?” He asked as he glanced towards the ball game, his beer already opened and ready for him. He wasn’t the least bit ashamed to admit that the quick view of the cheerleaders had done something to him.

“Because I still need to shower,” She responded in exasperation, “And she likes to try and play with the power outlets now.” She touched the top of Nora’s head gently, making her giggle.

“Sounds like a lesson to be learned, huh?” He mumbled underneath his breath, sure that his father would’ve let him mess around and find out.

“Five minutes,” Kim begged, “Please.” She begged softly, making him sigh and nod in defeat. He didn’t think their toddler was that helpless. She could be alone without burning the house down or harming herself. Especially for five quick minutes.

“You don’t need me to watch you, do you?” He asked her, whispering so Kim couldn’t hear from the bathroom.

“Uh uh.” She shook her head, red curls flying as she bounced back and forth between rocking two different baby dolls in her arms.

“You won’t tell mommy?” He asked her quickly, holding his palms together in a quick plea. She worked on bundling her babies up in a blanket before she answered.

“Suwe!” She giggled, giving her baby doll a little kiss before he was scurrying away. He wouldn’t be that long anyways. He’d been worked up for the past week.

He retreated to his room, shutting the door gently. He knew that he’d be able to hear the water shut off and hear if Nora got into anything from this distance.

He had just managed to shrug his pants off, his briefs around his thighs and his fingers wrapped around his cock when the doorbell sounded. Again. And again. It continually rang until he felt like his mind might explode.

“Can you get that?” He shouted out the door, keeping it closed so no one could see what he was trying to get up to.

“What?” Kim shouted, her voice muffled from the bathroom door.

“The door!” He shouted, “Can you get it?” He shut his eyes tightly, quietly begging for her to rush out and get it.

“I’m in the shower!” She protested back, making him sigh deeply. He resisted the urge to slam his head against the door, irritated with the timing.

“Shit,” He huffed, tucking himself back inside and adjusting his pants. He gave his hands a quick wash before he was rushing down the stairs, “I hear you!”

The ringing continued as he rushed down the stairs, his eyes widening as he removed the toddler away from the back of the TV stand. That’s all he needed.

“It woud.” Nora commented with her hands over her ears as he placed her back on the couch. Nosey little thing.

“Get used to it,” He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head, “That’s your uncle Billy.” Her eyes widened in fear as she glanced around, her little legs moving quickly up the stairs as she retreated. She was apparently too shy to introduce herself.

“Jesus Christ,” Billy grinned from ear to ear, “Took you long enough.” He stated, looking a little bored as his eyes fell towards Tommy. He looked a little skinnier, his hair shorter and bags underneath his eyes deep. But he was still Billy.

“That was very annoying,” He scoffed as he popped the door open, “C’mon in.” He gestured inside at the almost annoyingly clean living room. It must’ve meant that his mother stopped by, that was the only time that it was truly spotless.

“Holy fuck,” Billy spit out, “You did get a nice place.” He held his duffel bag over his shoulders as he peered around, stopping to briefly glance at the framed photos before he turned away again.

“Yeah,” He chuckled, “You better put that out. Kim doesn’t want anyone smoking around Nora.” He pointed out, looking at the cigarette that was placed behind his ear. It was half smoked, like he’d been savoring it.

“And you have a kid,” He laughed, like it was hilarious, “Who would’ve thought?” He shook his head, speaking the truth out loud. Tommy was still surprised each morning.

“Not me,” He muttered in admittance as he gestured towards the living room, “Welcome in.” He clapped his hands together, unsure of what else to say as he watched Billy slowly glide around.

He looked around intensely, like he was inspecting each little detail. Tommy could feel himself bouncing in excitement, wanting to know all about how LA was. How the partying was, the girls. Everything.

“Billy,” Kim replied softly, her face flushed as she tugged on her damp hair as she took slow steps down from the stairs. She looked anywhere but him, following the same nervous tick she did anytime she met someone new, “Good to see you again.”

Tommy’s relationship with his own siblings wasn’t the best, but he didn’t know how he could ever just stop talking to them. Even if Billy and Kim both claimed they weren’t siblings, they were raised together. He just didn’t get it.

“Kim,” Billy nodded at her; features stoic as he looked around, “You guys have a nice place.” He said again, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned away. Apparently he didn’t know how to talk to her either. Or he was expecting a lecture.

“You were supposed to see it a long time ago.” Tommy pointed out, shoving at him playfully. Billy nodded along, shrugging his shoulders softly.

“I was busy,” He replied with a smirk. Tommy did his best not to sigh, knowing that Billy had done things that he could only dream about. He supposed that was the issue with getting married young and having children at such an age too, “This must be Nova?”

“Nora,” Tommy corrected, smiling at the way she curled up into Kim’s side. She had the same shy nature about her, “This is Uncle Billy, remember?” He squatted down, hoping that she might become more comfortable.

“Hi.” She said shyly, face half hidden as Billy joined Tommy on the floor. He looked kinder and Tommy suddenly remembered that he had spent a summer or two teaching kids her age how to swim.

“Do you like dolls?” He asked, tilting his head as a gentle smile pulled onto his lips, “I have one for you. Your dad said you liked Barbies.” He dropped his bag slowly, looking proud at the way Nora perked up.

“Oh, yeah,” She said with a giggle, suddenly more interested, “I like dem.” She nodded her head happily, squeezing at Kim’s leg for reassurance.

“Do you want to go get it?” Kim asked her, kissing the top of her head, “We already ate, but I can warm the leftovers up if you want.” She added awkwardly, furrowing her eyebrows together before she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Uh, sure,” Billy replied with a shrug of his shoulders as he dug through his duffel bag, “Here you go, kid.” He plopped it into Nora’s hands, earning a loud squeal from her as she examined it.

“Oh cool times Barbie,” Tommy responded, trying to keep a calm expression, “How neat.” He chuckled, wondering how many Barbie’s she’d have before it was too much.

“What do you say?” Kim asked gently, her lips curled into a soft smile as Nora pulled a bright grin onto her lips. She teetered back and forth before she answered.

“Tank you,” She grinned in excitement, “Mama, open?” She held it up over her head, looking conflicted as she pulled at the plastic. Tommy stood first, wandering if this would be an appropriate moment to pull out a few beers.

“Yeah, come to the kitchen with me.” Kim told her, holding a hand out as Nora waddled quickly to keep up. It was a pretty cute sight. Their nightgowns even seemed to match.

“How are you feeling?” Tommy asked seriously, collapsing on the recliner as Billy followed suit. He stretched his legs out, suddenly looking exhausted.

“Like shit,” Billy grumbled, “I hate this fucking town.” He replied bitterly, almost angrily as he linked his fingers over his abdomen. Tommy exhaled deeply. Sure he wanted to travel, but Hawkins wasn’t that bad. All of his friends and family were here.

“Better than living in your car.” He said seriously, sure that it had to be an uncomfortable few weeks. Things must’ve been really bad for him to come crawling back.

“Barely,” He sighed as he stretched his legs out once again, “So what do you do? I never saw you as a family guy.” Billy cocked an eyebrow curiously, leaving Tommy shrugging. He had been too young to have known what he really wanted. He still felt that way in all honesty.

“I guess it was just a bullshit gift from fate. Right after the wedding.” He laughed as he thought about how nervous and scared Kim had been. He wasn’t much help through the pregnancy either. It had all freaked him out. He understood how people got cold feet.

“You’re not happy?” Billy looked for clarity, his eyebrows furrowing together like he was sure he was hearing Tommy wrong.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” He said quickly, trying to defend himself, “It’s just mundane sometimes. That’s all.” He shrugged his shoulders, not sure if he should mention that the love between him and Kim was clearly gone. Their passion had long since fizzled out.

“Lucky.”

“Here,” Kim said slowly as she sat the bowl down on the table for Billy to reach. She sat down near the corner of the couch, smiling as Nora crawled onto her lap. She got comfortable as she held her Barbie to her chest, beginning to brush her hair out slowly, “I hope the drive wasn’t too bad?”

“Nothing terrible,” Billy replied as he glanced towards her, “I guess it is kind of nice to be back, sort of like home.” He mused softly before he turned away, eyes glancing towards him.

“Bullshit.” He laughed, nearly cackling at his terrible lie. There was no way Billy thought of this shitty town as home. He hated it here.

“There really is nothing good about this place.” Billy replied after a brief pause, grinning as he bounced his knee up and down. Tommy shook his head, still marveled at how Billy could say such a thing.

“Come on,” Kim whispered as she adjusted Nora on her lap, “Say goodnight. Let’s go get ready for bed.” She picked her up quickly, ignoring the little protest Nora let out before she waved her fingers at them.

“Night night!” She squealed, giggling as Tommy leaned up and kissed her warm cheek. At least she wasn’t sticky.

Kim carried her off, promising of a new story tonight as Tommy settled back into his chair. It was the same routine. The same everything. He was bored.

“You’re lucky.” Billy said suddenly, taking him by surprise. He supposed in a way he was, but this hadn’t been the life he had wanted. He felt like he was stuck in a box most days.

“You are,” Tommy corrected, “You got to live and we’re just stuck in whatever this is.” He gestured about, keeping his voice lowered so Kim couldn’t hear. He didn’t want to deal with her crying about it next. Their fights were always like that.

“Hm,” Billy hummed softly, “You sound happy. Does she know you’re this joyful?” He mocked, fingers twitching repeatedly against his abdomen. He was clearly still coming off of something, noticeable by the way he kept locking his jaw and darting his eyes around.

“She doesn’t say anything.” He shrugged his shoulders, speaking the truth. Even when they fought she usually went quiet. She was just a shell sometimes, like she’d dug herself into her own hole that only she could be a part of.

“Marriage,” Billy scoffed, “What a wondrous thing.”

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