#i made them look wayy too young here but whatever

[unbloodiedmartyr]

rip my favourite spineless bureaucrat you will be missed

[bundoesnotcompete]

Reader is a Vidyadhara and Dan Feng's apprentice. This is wayy to long at an amazing 7250 ish words. Slight lore inaccuracies and maybe oocness. Childhood friends to lovers. Reader is dubbed 'Baofu' as a name but it isn't mentioned often. See end for more notes. Enjoy!

You were floating in something warm. Whatever you were contained in was very warm and so wonderfully comfortable. You had to wonder where you were and why you felt so calm. Fragments of a previous life, of a game and wondering the cosmos, filled your mind. You startled and kicked around, it was too much for your young mind to handle. Your mind gently drifted off.

The next time you woke, you were much smaller. Your tail felt around your small chamber, that too was smaller. There were voices yelling outside, but they were muffled. Your chamber was dark, so seeing outside was not an option. They were horribly loud too your sensitive ears, and you shifted away from them, accidently flipping your prison around. They stopped yelling.

This was fine, you could handle being in a diffrent position if it meant you got your peace and quiet. You felt movement around you before your room righted itself. You floated to the bottom, happily sleeping again.

It was beginning to get cramped in your home. This was what you had decided the next time you woke. Quiet voices could be heard outside. The voices were familiar to you since you heard them often.

When you stretched out your limbs to relieve their sleepiness, your feet broke your container. Water was quickly filling your home and you panicked. The egg you were in was fragile and you easily broke free of it. Kicking and clawing your way to freedom and safety.

Well, it would've been safe if your toddler body could swim. Even the fragmented memories and instincts weren't enough to remember the motions to swim. You had yet to open your eyes, too busy flailing to think about opening them. Panic set in and you began to cry and scream, an internal part of you getting embarrassed. Water splashed around you before a set of hands grabbed your naked and screaming form. As you were lifted out of the water, you were decided to open your eyes.

Blurrily, you could see the face of a man with a set of blue ish horns and brown hair. Dan Heng? A fragment of your original self echoed. Who was Dan Heng? Blinking and settling yourself, you stopped screaming.

"I shall inform and retrieve the others, Imbibitor Lunae!" A panicked voice entered your ears. Even though fat tears were still streaming down your face, you could make out the man in front of you better. Blue eyes, dark brown to black hair, and long ears are what you could make out as he cradled you to his chest. You tail swoshed gently behind you as he shifted to hold you.

You watched from where your head laid on his shoulders as he left the waters. The dark cobbled room greeted your eyes. The place where you had slept was filled with green seawees and sand. Your former home laid in ruins from your panicked escape. Pieces of the egg shell floated in the clear water. You had eased up in your crying as you studied the room.

More people hurried into the room, these ones did not look lile the one who held you. They had long ears but lacked the horns and tail you and you handler had.

"Imbibitor Lunae, here is some blankets to wrap them in." A woman took you from you handler's arms and wrapped you in a warm blanket. You shifted, the blanket felt like it was crunching your tail. You began to cry again at the feeling, your toddler body not having much emotional control.

You made grabby hands toward the one known as Dan Feng, crying louder. You wanted to go back to safety and not being uncomfortable.

"Give them here. I will take them to the next room." Dan Feng commanded the room and you were quickly given back to him. He adjusted the blanket for your tail and held you to his chest.

What followed next was something you could not remember, your drowsiness taking over. What you did learn was that you were not something that was supposed to be alive.

Your egg had appeared from nowhere. An elderly Vidyadhara caretaker had found your egg. No records of you were found and that had caused an uproar. Scans confirmed that you were a Vidyadhara. Your egg was quickly isolated. An arugement had broken out about you when the entirity of the Vidyadhara Preceptors council had gotten together.

It was only when you were roughly seven in human years did you fully regain yourself.

--------

Being reincarnated sucked. Your reincarnation into the Vidyadhara called Baofu wouldn't have been so bad if the others hadn't looked at you strange. The new name and body hadn't taken long to get used to, but the looks did.

"Its not normal to show your tail and horns. Why are they doing that?" Many had murmured behind your back.

"I heard that the Council thinks they are a reincarnation of Long." Others would gossip. Many expectations were placed on you. Any wrong doing was punished twice as much then anyone else and any achievement belittled. The council members from all ships sucked.

You were in a small pool out in a green area, currently working on water techniques like your shifu taught you. The artifical sun of the Xianzhou Loufu was bright in the water. Your shifu sat behind you.

Dang Feng watched you as you struggled and got frustrated. His knees tucked underneath him and tail resting behind him. His face was passive at your growing frustration. He crossed his arms.

"Do not think of water as a shape right now. Think of it as a flowing river, do not fight against it, but go with it." His stern voice hit your ears just as your control faltered and water plooped back down into its source. You let out a frustrated cry and your tail hit the water hard. You turned around to face the dark-haired man, ignoring the fact he was gently wiping water from his face.

"Can we go home? I've been doing this forever. I wanna go play." Your voice was a hair below shouting. Frustration was thick in your voice and your mentor merely sighed.

"Give it another shot. You are closer to doing it then you think you are." He encouraged. You groaned before turning around. You held your hands out and focused. Let the water flow freely, but encourage it to keep its shape.

A small, clear blob gently floated in front of you. You imagined a ring in your mind and attempted to mould to water to that shape. The water shakily formed a ring and you held it in the air. A large smile broke out on your face and you turned to you mentor who gave a small smile. Turning your head back to the ring of water., you felt your control slip and watched the water flop pathetically back to its source.

You sagged slightly at the sight, but turned around as you heard your mentor stand. He dusted off his white pants and beckoned you toward him. You walked to him and got out of the water. Your sandals were covered in sand and the edges of your shorts were slightly wet.

"I will permit you to have extra time to play today. You will not get the opportunity tomorrow." He held out his hand for you to take. You took it, his large hand encompassing yours. "You did well today. So not let the others bring you down. You are still quite young." You both walked back to your shared home.

Once you changed, you fled the house. Your master watching as you left. There was a park you could go to that had many children there often. It was a wonderful place to go to when you just wanted to be a child. As you arrived, you scanned the area. The park was rather empty today. The only people in it were a white haired man and a young boy. His son, you guessed by the looks of it.

You darted to the sand box the boy was in, you tail gently swaying as you ran. The boy heard you and looked up from where he was playing. You stopped in front of him and looked down at him. Gold eyes watched you carefully. You had this. You could do this without being socially awkward.

"I am Baofu and I think we are going to play together." Shit, that was too demanding. Plan B, Plan B. "If you wanna. If not I can go play somewhere else." You back tracked, trying to fix your tone to something lighter. Heavens did you even sound like a child?

Nice going, you messed it up and now he's not going to play with you. You thought.

The boy merely smiled and shuffled over to make space for you. He patted the sand beside him. You stepped in the box and sat next to him. He turned to you, white hair messily framing his face.

"I'm Jing Yuan." He said, scooping some sand into a his pale blue bucket. He made no comments on your more dragon like appearance. Instead, you two played like any other children would. Being a child again was a wonderful experience at times, this being one of them. Even as his father came to take Jing Yuan home, you two promised to meet again.

You often met with Jing Yuan at the park after that. In between your forced duties and schooling, you would try to catch him at the park. You only truly made friends with him and no other child at the park. Between your social awkwardness and appearance, no child wanted to be friends with the odd one out. Except for Jing Yuan, that is.

"I'm going to be a Cloud Knight!" He proclaimed to you one day as you both played Knights. You had been friends with him for nearly three years at this point. "Dad even enrolled me in training courses to help me get started earlier. Though we just stick to book stuff."

He swung at you with his stick and you dodged and tried to get him back with yours. This was training disgused as play time. You had to give his dad credit, disgusing this exercise as a game was clever. It also left you ego and shins bruised. Jing yuan was too good at attacking.

"I think you'll be a good knight!" You had merrily chimed back as you hit him with the back of the leg with a stick. You heard him yelp and fall. Aa you approached him he glared up at you from his spot on the ground. He couldn't keep the grumpy face for long though, and he eventually broke out into laughter after you helped him up.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, this was the last time you would see one another for years to come. Training took up the majority of your time and then eventually Jing Yuan's. When you had gotten your first phone you had gotten his number, but you both ended up being so busy that you didn't talk much.

You had progressed wonderfully in your training, the water eventually succumbing to your will. Of course, you weren't on the level of someone like Dan Feng, but if he couldn't be there you often took his place.

It was exhausting. The other high elders expected so much of you. Dang Feng did his best to control the influence the other elders had over you, but he could only do so much. Then, while you were working on the Yuque, it came under siege from the Denizens of Abundance. What was supposed to be simple help with injuries from a band of roaming mara-struck turned into a battlefield.

The injuries only multiplied from there. If you weren't being ran ragged by the injured then you were out on the defense lines. The Denizions did not take well to boiling, high pressured water shooting at them at high speeds. The tiredness from earlier only worsened when you fought.

The Yuque was quickly turning into a mess. While the defensive lines did hold, everything else was falling apart. The medics were quickly being overwhelmed and the soldiers were running out of weapons. Denizions were tough to kill, even the weapon shifu had made for you eventually cracked from battle. In a way, you were cracking just like your weapon.

"Please, you have to help her instead of me. My children deserve to have their mother more." The solider laying in front of you begged, how wife laying next to him. An attack on the district had left them both injured. The man more so then his wife.

"She will be fine. Stop moving." Your patience was wearing thin. Another Vidyadhara was coming towards you. The man in front of you jerked again and you finally gave into your frustration and hit him on his leg wound. It was cruel, but he needed to follow orders. You whipped you head to him as he cried out.

"Shut up and lay still or i will do more then just hit you." You hissed to him. You never got violent with your patients, but he would not stop moving and your patience was thin.

"That is enough, I will deal with him Baofu." There was a hand on your shoulder. "You are needed in the command tent. The main tent. Go get some rest after that. You look horrific." The woman's voice was authoritive. You looked up at her dipleased face before finally standing from your seat and storming out the tent, the frustration obivous on your face.

The main command tent was in the center of camp. More people shuffled around then before, new faces coming in with the old. Supplies were quickly feeding into camp. It appears help from the Loufu has finally arrived. Sliding past the busy people had taken a bit of time, but you made it to the tent. You felt tired just looking at the Major in charge.

Throwing open the cloth door, you could see four familiar people standing around the table. You knew them as Dan Feng's friends, but you never had the time to truly meet them.

"Ah, Baofu. It appears our prayers have been heard. Help has finally arrived." The major in charge of this camp gave a relieved sounding sigh. She continued, "I will give a short summary of who is who just in case you don't know. I know you know your shifu. The woman to my left is Baiheng, she will be helping with starskifts." She waved towards a Foxian Woman. She pointed to a white haired woman next. "This is Jingliu and her appreantice, Jing Yuan."

You merely nodded in response to her introductions. You gave a small wave to them before turning back to the Major, not fully comprehending the fact that your childhood best friend was standing across from you. Scooting closer to the table, you took a look at the map. The lines hadn't moved on the Alliance's part, but the Denizions appeared to have grown in number.

"I want you to give a debriefing to your shifu after this. He needs to know what mess he is walking into." The major continued. She turned her attention to the map in front of everyone and began her debriefing. If there was one thing you did not like about the major, it was the fact that she was boring. She had a monotone voice that could put anyone to sleep. You got drowsy as she continued on, the debriefing not keeping your attention. This was the first time in a while you had been in such a still place. You blinked awake.

Dan Feng had moved beside you, as if sensing you were about to fall asleep. You looked up to see his disapproving, but worried look. Well, as worried as his neutral face got. You played with your hands, distracting yourself. You ignored the fact that you felt yourself shaking. You blinked awake again. She was still rambling. A hand was on your back this time. Dan Feng leaned down to your ear.

"Stay awake for a few more minutes. You do not need to debrief me, so you can just go to your room." He whispered quietly. You nodded. Heavens, you were so tired. When was the last time you ate? Your eyes drooped again. Fighting against sleep was difficult. You entire body was so exhauasted from constant use. It was not used to war.

You did not blink awake like you did last time. Instead, you woke with an intense grogginess. The bed you were in was warm and soft. The wonderful feeling of the bed did not change the fact that your bones ached. Everything ached, actually. Muffled voices came through the door to your room.

"We both know Baofu cares too much. I've only known them for a bit, but even i could recognize the signs. Hitting a patient was the final straw." It was the voice of the Vidyadhara Woman from before. Lady Wu was what many called her. The voice of your mentor came closer.

"Why didn't you pull them from active duty earlier…." You zoned out from the conversation as they got closer. Your brain felt like it was frying itself.

You cracked open your eyes, trying to gather information about your sorroundings. Sitting up proved to be difficult, but you maaged an upright position before the door to your room opened. Dan Feng entered the room quietly.

Seeing that you were awake, he spoke. "You gave us quite to scare, collasping like that." He approached and sat in the chair next to your bed. The room lit only by the small, dull lamp in front on your bed. "You are in a state of absolute exhuastion. Do you even realize how in bad of shape you are?"

You looked to him and huffed. The look on his face warned you of an an incoming scolding and lecture. He got a cup of water from the small side table beside him and handed to you.

What proceeded was the most intense scolding of your life. You had been out for nearly three days and Dan Feng had been worried. He listed facts after facts about your poor health and how you needed to take care of yourself more. You were no use if you were overworking yourself. Now here you were, in a state of weakness caused by your own doing.

"Jing Yuan will need assistance in helping train the soldiers more. Jingliu can only do so much and she is furious at the poor state of the soldiers training. Light duty only." He gave you a sharp look at those final words. "I will send for Jing Yuan and he will update you shortly. For now you will have three days of rest before light duty." You licked you dry lips nervously. You hadn't seen your friend in so long, you were basically strangers.

Dan Feng stood and sighed. "I do not have much time to spend with you here. So, I am going to say this now. You did a wonderful job healing the injured." You could tell he wanted to say something else. "Please, do not be hard on yourself when you lose a patient, you cannot save everyone." He turned as began to walk to the door. You were unsure what to say to that, so you only watched as he left.

You cleaned yourself in the next few hours. Brushing your hair, taking a shower, and taking care of your tail were the beginning steps. The door opened and a white haired teen waltzed in. You held a tight grip on your tail to prevent it from wagging. A smile broke out on your face, however.

"Jing yuan!" You called to him as he approached. He was quick to snatch you in a hug. Your hands letting go of your tail to hug him back. You tail thumped against the floor happily.

"I was a bit worried about you. You just suddenly collaspsed in the meeting." He start as he set you back on the bed he had snatched you from. He sat on the chair that Dan Feng originally sat in. "I'm glad your okay. Things really are a mess here. How about I give you an idea of what your going to help me with and then we catch up."

Appreantly, the Denizens of Abundance where being helped by an emanator named ShuShu. Upon finding this out, Jingliu wanted every soldier trained harder in order to be more ready for battle. The higher ups did not want more to become mara-struck. With better training, they could achieve that.

Jing Yuan mainly needed someone to help him show his trainees how to patch wounds. Since a majority of the soldiers did not have formal training, they often did not know how to patch wounds. Many were civilians who took up arms to help the overwhelmed knights.

Thus began your days of recovery. You would attend the training, show some basic medic skills, like stitching up wounds, and then spend your day with Jing Yuan. Of course, you could only spend time with him if Jingliu hadn't taken him or if he wasn't busy.

After your recovery, both yours a Jing Yuan's training intensified. Neither of your Mentors wanted you two to fall in battle. Your original training did not revolve around combat, so Dan Feng largely trained you in how to fight better. Your ability to heal at fast rates, whether that be on yourself or others, was a gift that Dan Feng used. Your fast healing made others and yourself more durable in battle, leading to people being in battle longer.

You did not particularly enjoy combat, oftentimes staying farther back and using the cloudhymm to heal your soldiers en masse. It was an ability others appraciated. Eventually, the High Cloud Quintet was formed. Though you often visited them when they had their meetings, you never formally joined them.

Your duties often kept you on other lines apart from them. Instead you unintentionally formed a healing group with other Vidyadhara that often kept your soldiers in battle for far longer then normal. In fact, those who often where in your small group branched off to other divisions to help there. Years drew on, and you fame only grew with how many battles you dragged out and how many frontlines were moved under you and your people.

After the western front was secured, you were asked to go to the eastern front, where your mentor was. The Denizens of Abundance were far stronger on the eastern front since they were pushed back. So, you and several divisions of soldiers went east to support them. A massive attack at ShuShu and his forces was about to be underway. Any relief that you're soldiers could give would be helpful.

The relief your soldiers brought was immense. Many of the overworked were able to take a small break now that help had arrived.

Arriving to the main command center, you entered the building to see where you would be placed. Large arms encased you in a hug from behind before you could find the commanders. Only one person would do that.

"Hello Jing Yuan." You sighed. He dropped you and you turned to him. He had gotten far prettier over the years and you decided that it wasn't fair. Who let this man be so pretty? He was also far too kind to you. He always listened to you and often times tried to distract you from the war. He would be a good boy- wait, no. You did not have a crush on him. You couldn't do that, not with your best friend. Those weren't the words of you loving him, they were just words of appreciation. Yeah, appreciation.

"Why, I'm here to take you to the others." He guided you to a room in the opposite direction. "They figured you wouldn't know where to find them, so they sent me to wait for you." He looked to you as you walked. You had grown to be quite beautiful, in his opinion. Your empathy drew him to you even if you pretended too not care so deeply. He enjoyed many other traits about you too.

Entering a large room, the other High Cloud Quintet members were there. Baiheng gave you a beaming smile and waved to you as you approached the war table. You took a spot next to your mentor. Jingliu stood at the front, Baiheng to her right, and Jing Yuan was next to Baiheng. Yingxing stood to Jingliu's left, Dan Feng next to him, and then you at the end of the table.

"Shushu's forces are making a desperate attempt to stop us." Jingliu began. "An attack must be happening soon. If we can strike first, it could cripple their defenses." Jingliu looked up from the table. "So here is the plan."

The plan never happened, Shushu's forces had far greater power than anyone had anticipated and had attacked first. The Sanguinary Abyss that shushu had set up was dangerous, and any who passed through it were often trapped on the other side. Your mentor was on the other side and suffering from Dragon's Delirium.

Even as both you and Jing Yuan cut through countless enemies, their defenses would not break. Your healing was keeping the soldiers alive longer, but they were still falling rapidly. At this rate, you were merely stalling. Purple hair was quick to rush by you and run into the enemies' defensive line.

Baiheng was rushing and bulldozing her way through both the Sanguinary Abyss and enemy lines. Her recklessness carving a way through the enemies defensive line. Yingxing was quick on her tail.

"Everyone," Jing Yuan managed to shout out to enough soldiers, "Follow us through the lines, we have a way past them! Inform everyone around you!" He looked your way as he parried and killed one the denizens. Hearing his command you repeated what was said to nearby soldiers, shouting as loud as you could.

Rallying to Jing Yuan, you kept the soldiers you had alive as you stormed the enemies crumbling defensive line. Following behind Baiheng by a few short minutes. The following battle raged on for longer as the forces around you unknowingly made a defensive line to Baiheng and the others.

Shushu's defeat was quickly realized as the Denizens of Abundance fled in large numbers and the battle was quickly ended. You told Jing Yuan to find the others as you went for the wounded. You could worry about them later, your soldiers were more important since they did not have the same power as the others.

As the battle slowed and ended, You created patches of misty haze that healed your wounded soldiers and helped keep those with major wounds alive for longer. Hours bled together as you helped settle the remaining skirmishes and healed the wounded. In some cases, even killing them after they had been mara-struck.

You did not hear news of Baiheng's sacrifice until you returned to camp to rest. You saw your master and Jingliu speaking and had decided to approached.

"Shifu." You spoke from behind Dan Feng. He looked horribly pale. "Are you alright?" You looked to Jingliu who was no better. Assuming the worse you quickly approached to look for wounds.

"Your not injured are you? Where is Baihe-" you were quickly cut off by Dan Feng.

"Baiheng is dead. She gave herself to defeat ShuShu." Dan Feng's voice shook as he spoke. Shock colored your face. You had quickly forced him and Jingliu into a hug, your arms barely reaching around them both. Neither cried, but neither resisted your hug like they normally would've.

"I'm sorry you two. Is Yingxing alright? He ran up with her to meet with you two." You let go of them both.

"Yingxing is alright. He is helping bring the injured back to camp." Jingliu spoke, voice hollow. "Jing Yuan is still on the battlefield cleaning up the remaining Denizens of Abundance."

"Would you mind helping heal the injured? I need to rest from the battle with ShuShu, but I do not wish to leave the injured unattended." Your mentor spoke. You knew he just wanted an excuse for you to leave. You didn't push him and instead nodded.

"Yeah, Both of you get some rest. I-" Pausing, you gave yourself a moment to think, "I am here for you both if you need me. I don't know what to say, but I can always listen." You reassured them and left.

The next weeks were solemn. Your Mentor was not taking Baiheng's death well. Her funeral had been large and many from all ships came to mourn her loss and celebrate her life. Yingxing and Jingliu were no better in their grief, but Jingliu was coping better than the other two, but not much. Jing Yuan had taken up the offer of comfort when you gave it to him.

Baiehng's death had hurt him too, but he leaned on you for help and was healing better than the others from it. He was quickly flying through the ranks of the Cloud Knights and there were even rumors of Teng Xiao chosing him to be his successor, which were later proven true. You had both celebrated his promotion with glee. Cherishing the nigh as you both knew his time would be limited. Even with his limited time, he tried to make time for you and you tried to make time for him.

The romance between you two was steadily beginning to grow, but you wouldn't get together with him until after the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae.

You had noticed your master acting suspiciously a few days before his crime. He and Yingxing often together and planning something. When you had confronted him about his behavior, he had blown up. The fight between you two leaving feelings hurt and opening a wound between you two.

You had cried to Jing Yuan when he came to see you that day. Your mentor's words hurting more than any true wound could. He had comforted you, and the bond between you two only grew deeper.

In order to avoid your mentor, you went to Scalegorge Waterscape to help with tending to Vidyadhara eggs. Tending to the eggs was not one of your major duties, but it was peaceful. The other caretakers had allowed you to join them, sensing you needed to break from everything. In the early morning hours, your mentor and Yingxing would commit a crime that would be told for centuries.

You had sensed something was going to happen at the Watercape, so you left early for what you called "Egg Duty". When you had arrived, the sight of having the Ambrosial Arbor exposed had you running for it. You had quickly texted Jingliu that something was up and asked for reinforcements. You had told her you had a feeling your mentor was doing something stupid and she had relayed it to Jing Yuan.

Finding your master, you discovered that he had tampered with the Ambrosial Arbor. Not only that, he had invoked Transmutation Arcanum and was commiting a unforgivable sin. Things were quick to dissolve after Yingxing had recieved backlash and you cronfronted your mentor.

You couldn't do anything to him though once the Draconic Abomination had been born. The thing quickly formed after your mentor lost control over the Arbor. You had quickly shifted your attention to the massive rampaging dragon thing that was quickly ruining the waterscape.

You fought the beast for hours once you shifted into your true draconic form. You used the water around you to stall the beast and cause a stalemate. The healing factor from you both was causing a stalemate and that in turn was destroying the Waterscape. You had fought for a long while until the beast struck a nearly unhealable blow to you.

The thick claws of the beast had caught the side of your face and caught your eye. It was quick to use your disorientation to pin you. While you had managed to injury the beast greatly while pinned, it was going to kill you of you could not shake it off. You mentor was nowhere in sight. Dredging up the last of your waning strength, you summoned the nearby water to knock the beast off of you. While it had been successful, you did not get up in time before it pinned you again.

It had tackled you and broke more bones in the process, the blood from both you staining the waters. Your savior came in the form of Jingliu. Her ice strikes were decisive against the beast and caused it to turn its attention to her. You did not join the resulting battle, not even to heal.

Even as Jingliu killed the beast and became mara-struck, you merely laid there and continued to try to heal yourself. It was hard when you were in so much pain and taking wheezing breaths. You closed your eyes and focused inward.

A hand was on your muzzle and you felt another Vidyadhara's cloudhymm help you heal. You cracked open your good eye to see who it was. Weakness caused your vision to be blurry, but you could recognize one of the preceptors. There were shouts and voices around you, but you felt yourself fading.

"Baofu, you must rest. We will handle your master and this beast." Their voice was muffled. The Cloudhymm throughout your body intensified. You closed your eye as you heard the voice speak, "That's right, rest." You allowed the all-encompassing darkness to take you.

You awoke again in a darker place and in deep water. You managed to get your head above water and on shore. You did not recognize this place. This large of a healing room was not used. Since so few Vidyadhara can truly return to their draconic form, rooms like these were useless in this day and age.

The door in the room opened and you recognized the preceptor that came in. They were the one that saved you.

"Finally awake, I see. You took quite the beating from that abomination." They came close to your snout and examined you. "Holding off that beast was impressive considering how long you lasted." They examined the eye that was slashed. "Thank you for fighting it and defying your master." They walked in front of you as you lazyly stared.

"You have been unconscious for nearly a week now. Healing such intense damage to bones takes time. Much has happened in your sleep. The high elders will arrive shortly once I give the word. I will go inform them of your state. I will be back after your meeting." They quickly left the room without giving you a chance ro say anything. You drifted between dreamland and reality until the door had reopened for the high elders.

You shifted to get more comfortable and to face the High Elders, Dan Feng's teachings instilled into you even in dragon form. All four had approached you and formed and semi cricle around your snout.

"High Elders, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you for." You hoarsely spoke. The elder from Zhuming was the first to speak, his voice echoing across the empty chamber.

"Your master had chosen you to be the successor. You are to become the next Imbibitor Lunae, even if we do not fully agree." The elder from Yuque was next to speak.

"What he means to say is that even with the circumstances sorrounding your birth, your loyalty to the safety of the Xianzhou Alliance has convinced is to allow your ascension. Your display of power and defiance to your mentor's plan has proved to us that you are worthy of his title." Her tone was impassive. The elderly Vidyadhara next to her spoke.

"Your mentor's sin has caused him to be punished and his title stripped from him. The only reason he lives is to give you his power before rebirthing." The elder from Fanghu spoke.

"We will explain in more detail your duties later. For now, rest. In three days time you will recieve the power of Imbibitor Lunae. More will be discussed later. We will leave you to rest." The elder from Yuque softly said to you. They departed from the room as you laid there. Trying to comprehend what was happening.

You pushed yourself deeper into the massive pool and sunk to the bottom. You emotional state quickly becoming depressed.

The next days passed fast and before you knew it, the time for your Ascension had come. You had the strength to revert to human form for the ritual, so that was the form you chose for it. Getting dressed and ready had been easy.

Entering the room you had been guided to down the hall had not been easy. Seeing you mentor sorrounded by preceptors and high ranking officals was stressing you.

"All who are present in this room are to witness the birth of the next Imbibitor Lunae. Baofu has been chosen and approved to be Dan Feng's successor." The loud voice of the Yaoqing's elder sounded throughout the room.

You approached Dan Feng and ignored the happenings around you. When you approached and stopped in front of him, he gave you a sorrow look.

"I do not regret it. Just know that I know you will do well and I'm proud of you." Dan Feng had spoken softly to you as he began the process of transfering power to you. However, the process was never fully completed and you only got splinters lf his power. This was the last time you saw Dan Feng before his rebirth and those words were the last he spoke to you.

After the ceremony, you returned to your estate you had shared with you mentor. The emptiness of the estate felt like thousands of stones were weighing on you. You were robotic in your movements as you went about you nightly routine. The only thing that stopped you was the knock at your door.

Opening to the door to Jing Yuan was something that you felt should've surprised you, but the day was still trying to process. He gave a soft look to you before he gently asked if he could come in. Of course, you let him in and when you closed the door and turned back to him, he crushed you in a hug.

The hug broke something in you. The weight of the day was hitting you hard. You could hear him apologizing, but the ringing in your ears was quick to drown him out. The feeling of helplessness and grief hitting you like a tsunami. You hugged him back as sobs ripped from your throat.

You were never going to see your father figure again. He would be reborn and you would not get the chance to see him again until the new him was born. Jing Yuan merely hummed as you sobbed into him. He cried with you, but not much. He had few tears left to give.

When you managed to calm yourself, you asked if he wanted to stay the night. He said yes, joking that it could be like old times when he had snuck in to see you as children. He managed to get a smile out of you with that joke. Waking up in Jing Yuan's arms that next morning had almost caused your heart to stop. You swore you had died for a few moments when you finally realized who was with you.

He was warm from where he was spooning you. Although you felt your heart was about to stop beating, you did not move. Instead,you laid there drifting in and out of sleep until he finally stirred. Neither of you mentioned your sleeping arrangement until you had made a comment later.

"I do appreciate company. Prehaps if you aren't opposed to it, you could stay the night again?" You quietly suggested, asking it as a question. His smile told you his answer before he even spoke.

"Of course." Jing Yuan turned for the door. "I am here for you. I hope you understand that." As you let him out you replied to him.

"Of course. I am here for you too."

Thus, time moved on. You took up the duties of Imbibitor Lunae and eventually took the young Vidyadhara Bailu as an apprentice. Jing Yuan had his duties as general and came to visit often, even after he expelled a young Dan Heng from the Laofu in order to free him. After a long while of unoffically dating you finally confessed and both of you made it offical. Even though you both tried to be quiet about it, word eventually spread.

Roughly four decades before Jing Yuan would bring Yanqing home to be his retainer, you offically got married. The entirety of the Xianzhou Loufu partied rather hard in celebration. Though, you believe that they were just looking for an excuse to party. The wedding had been private with photos released at a later date.

When Jing Yuan brought a young blond child home, you questioned him. He explained that the boy had lost his parents and needed a caretaker. Jing Yuan was in need of a student and retainer so he decided to bring the boy in. You were miffed by his actions, even if you would come to care for the boy later. He still could have informed you.

Bailu at least enjoyed Yanqing's company. The boy was going to turn you grey at the rate he was going. He was a good swordsman, but he was young. He tended to get in over his head when choosing opponents. He did not seem to understand that while he was good, he needed experience and wisdom before he recklessly charged into battle.

In the current time, you watched Bailu practice in the same pond you had trained in when you were young. She seemed to be picking up the water techniques better then you though. When she met her goal for the day, she always turned to you in excitement with a smile on her face. You smiled back and praised her. If she failed at something, you merely used it as a lesson for her.

"Come, Bailu. I think we should practice the healing technique you wanted to work on." You said to her. The beaming smile she showed reminded you of Baiheng's. She was quick to depart the water and run infront of where you had stood up and began to walk.

Yes, this is perfect. You had thought, ignoring the massive ball of dread in your gut.

The sun was shining and the day was wonderful. You unknowingly had time to savor this moment before the crisis with the stellaron was to occur. If you had known what was to happen, you would've savored it longer. But as it stood now, you were to train your little apprentice more before going home to Jing Yuan.

The day was going to continue to be good, you just knew it.

-----------

End notes.

I rushed the ending i just wanted to end it and i didn't even do everything i wanted. It was just getting so long. The original idea i had was supposed to be for Zhongli but here is Jing Yuan instead. I am not proof reading that so i hope it makes sense because it was written over several days. See you next time!

Edited some errors on 9/8/24

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck.��

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[erineliz]

I spent a lot of time thinking about and writing about my favorite Taylor Swift albums of all time and ranking them. It was a lot of work but I’d love to see other fans rankings and read why. Here’s mine:

1.folklore

2.fearless

3.reputation

4.taylor Swift

5.speak now

6.Red

7.lover

8.1989

So now that folklore has been out awhile, I’ve listened to it, memorized it, loved it. I’ve been reminiscing on old albums now, as you do. My album ranking opinion is probably a super unpopular one in the t-swift fandom that I follow but, I’m a different kind of swiftie I suppose. So I’ll try to further explain my opinions on these albums.

Starting from the bottom,

1989: this is last for me but in no way means it’s a bad album, I mean something has to be last but this one just was not my wildest dream lol. It started off with the release of shake it off before the rest of the album and this was the beginning of Taylor releasing my least favorite song first on quite a few albums (followed by LWYMMD and YNTCD, but we’ll get to those later) I love, love,love blank space and it was a huge bop for a long time after I first heard it. Prob the only thing that made me even want to listen to the rest of the album. Because, as you can see red didn’t fall very high on my list so to follow it up with just shake it off made me kind of feel like, am I over t Swift? 😯 shocking, I know. I was a senior in college when this was released, blank space was played loudly at a few house parties and I loved that everyone loved it too, not just me; a long time lover of swift. It always feels like an I told you so moment when people who aren’t swifties like one of her songs. I never bought this album, and didn’t have Apple Music at the time so I feel like I never really gave it the time and appreciation it deserved. Almost every song on it became a single and I did like a lot of them. The first time I heard New Romantics was when my sister was playing the deluxe cd in her car and I was like, what is this? I loved that song. I think I then looked into the album more and listened to the rest. It was ok, I liked clean because I was going through a breakup. I liked how you get the girl, I thought it was creative and also kind of related to my break up. Out of the woods was too repetitive for me, the rest of the songs were played on the radio so much that they just became overplayed and annoying to me. So yeah, although this was her most successful album by far, I think it was just too mainstream, over played and not for me! But still good overall, you know, because, it’s Taylor Swift.

Lover: it was hard for me to put this this low, because again, not a bad album. It started off by Releasing YNTCD and Me! Before the rest of the album and again I was just like meh... but I knew better in my career as a swiftie that these two singles meant nothing for what the rest of album would be. I really like a lot of the songs on this album, London boy, daylight, false god, cruel summer, the man..all really good! But just nothing that went down as a favorite swift song of all time. I love the aesthetic of this album, probably one of my faves. I love that it’s about love, it came out last year, right when I bought a house with my lover, and I listened to it many hours while painting our walls before we moved in. I feel like Taylor and I have gone through it all together, and lover was the epitome of where my relationship was with my fiancé, just like her and joe 💕 we made it through all the heartbreaks and this was the purple pink sky at the end of the tunnel! But still, she has made way better music IMO.

Red: This is the swift album that everyone thinks got snubbed by the Grammy’s. Most swifties would scoff at this ranking as well. But..again not a bad album, this album has some of her BEST songs/lyrics. But..also it has, and it hurts me to say this, some of her worst as well. Red is good, but if we’re taking albums as a WHOLE, that you can listen too without any skips, this is not that one for me. This album does have some of my favorite of all time songs: all too well(give me the 8 minute version,damnit), red, state of grace, treacherous. But then it also has..stay,stay,stay which I really think is just like, so corny and fake, you can tell it’s not about her life, it’s like a little country twangy but still like bubble gum pop. It just rubs me the wrong way and gets a skip when listening. This album was a huge turning point in her country to pop timeline and it has a good mix of her pop bops along with her pretty little guitar poetry. The pop singles on this album were not my fave. 22 is fun, I was 20-21 when this came out and everyone was jamming 22 on their 22nd b-days. IKYWT got sooo overplayed and annoying. Same with WANEEGBT. I love my t-swift deep cut, sad songs but some of these were just trying too hard at that, like sad beautiful tragic and the moment I knew. They were just tooo dramatic for me. But idk, maybe it’s just because I wasn’t going through heartbreak when this came out, I was about 3 years into a 6 year relationship so heartbreak hadn’t been relatable for awhile and wasn’t going to be for awhile longer. I loved the duets with Ed and Gary, so glad we got that again on folklore! I also think that this album appeals way more to a younger audience. I think I grew up a little by 2012 compared to when I was crying over boys listening to the first albums, not just in a sense of heartbreak but also like just the parts of red that are a little corny to me. I think she was still aiming for the young teeny bopper pop and I was kind of growing out of that stage in music, broadening my horizons if you will. I started listening to swift when I was like 15. I think I just was a little ahead of the target generation that this album was made for: But I still just wasn’t done with her or this album due to the minor cheesy parts. Because then she puts shit on there like the fucking bridge of all too well and I’m like ok she is still the greatest writer of all time. This was a long explanation for red, but I have so many feelings about it. And also, yeah.. it didn’t deserve a Grammy, all things considered. All too well could have had one for song of the year, but whatever.

Speak Now: this was a good album, I think it was very similar to fearless but not quite as iconic. fearless has kept its high rank over the years so because this was so similar, I can’t put it too low. It was exactly what I wanted after fearless, also I think it kind of explains too why red was a bit of a let down..it was a huge change from fearless and speak now. I guess I’m just slow to adapt to change? But anyways speak now has some of the best deep cuts, dear john, last kiss both so beautifully written. Real, raw. We all knew who they were about and the drama of these relationships was exciting because these were the days that’d we’d all hear stuff about who she was dating but never get the full story. then later hear about it in her albums..it was nice to get that kind of honesty from a celebrity, made us feel like we really knew her. Sparks fly is up there as favorite song of all time. Mean was such a clap back to her critics and had the country vibe and twang from her first album. Also, this album had songs about John Mayer, joe Jonas, Taylor lautner..and Kanye west? All huge names at the time. I have to admit, the Kanye west innocent song was a huggeee let down at the time. I know this bitch had worse thing to say than “you’re still an innocent” but..she was very deep into playing her nice girl role at the time. So thank god there was a rep era later on down the road! I was a freshman in college when this came out. Living in dorm rooms, listening to music on my laptop late at night with the lights out.

Taylor Swift: this is up there, because it just has to be. This is where it all started. Listening to country radio, hearing Tim McGraw for the first time. I myself being a huge Tim McGraw fan thinking, I hope someone does think of me when they think of Tim McGraw lol. And then, just on a whim somehow, looking up other songs by her..just to see. Now in 2006, looking up songs by an artist wasn’t as easy a task as it is now. I illegally downloaded music on limewire still at this point. And would then burn it to cds. And would later get my first iPod and transfer everything to that, because who wants to pay a dollar per song on iTunes? I’m sorry Taylor, but Not my mother. So, being 14-15, I had to find my own ways. Stay beautiful, our song, cold as you, picture to burn, should’ve said no..these songs were the words I was looking for in high school, going through teenage love and heart ache. Feeling the exact same way as her and wanting to just write these words on a paper and fucking send it to all these boys who made me sad. Wanting to be a famous singer just so these people could see how I feel and how they ruined everything. Pretending that Mary’s song was the story of my lover and I in an imaginary world. Like, for real. This album did something to me, because of this album no matter what happens in this life, if Taylor puts out music, I’m going to listen to it..just to see.

Reputation: this album was a huge turning point for her. And for me, as her fan. It was after 1989, so I wasn’t like, obsessively waiting to see what would be next. The whole cancel tswift thing happened and I heard about it, but it wasn’t like a huge deal. I was on her side, she didn’t do anything wrong and people were so quick to jump down her throat. but musically after 1989, I was not a hardcore swiftie, I still hadn’t adapted to the all pop era. I needed my Taylor swift on a guitar, pouring her heart out in her lyrics. And then, this happened and it was, for me, way better pop than anything on 1989 or red, by far. I was back to my obsessive swiftie ways, but in a whole new way. Every song on the album was a jam, she was speaking her mind, finally saying wayy more about kanye (and kim, ugh) than what we got on speak now.(ironic, because to me this album is when she really started to speak and didn’t play the nice girl anymore) not only that but, this was a love album and I related to it in so many ways. I was finally out of that 6 year relationship, and had a bit of a “reputation” (not really, but some bridges were burned and people talk a lot about things they no nothing about when you end something that lasted 6 years) and I had met someone new. I related to every love song on this album so much and it meant so much because, like Taylor, after all the bullshit that happened, finding the right person is everything. She had never been more relatable. I feel like her pop music finally grew up enough for me. She was doing pop in a new way and I was here for it.

Fearless: this one has stood the test of time. A classic. No skip album. Country, but her first intro to pop crossover with love story, but unlike a lot of her early pop hits, love story didn’t get old and overplayed for me. It’s not like my favorite song now, but when it blew up, I was about it. Beautiful writing on this whole album. It was the first album I bought. The physical cd. It came out when I was just learning to drive. Driving on my own and blasting this album singing at the top of my lungs along with it with no one to tell me to turn it down or change the song solidified the love story I had with fearless. Blasting you’re not sorry over and over again, (a top 5 song of all time) it made me want to learn to play piano (I didn’t). White horse playing on grays anatomy (my fave show at the time). Listening to fifteen at age 16 for the first time thinking, yes this is so true and I’m so much older and wiser now 🤣 . I was a colbie caillat fan before I knew who Taylor was. Hey Stephen was cute AF. Wished that I had the courage to say things like that to my crushes. Forever and always after my first breakup. It just hit so hard. I can always go back to this album, and have, over the years. My first tswift concert with my only other friend that liked her. It was before any of the drama that came out in the news about her. It’s when She started to blow up in popularity, I’d start to religiously follow things she was doing, interviews, videos on tour, and fell in love with her personality. This girl was talented and hilarious and pretty and smart. I wanted to be her so bad.

Folklore: although it’s still new and fresh, I really think it’s the best yet. For me it’s Taylor swift come full circle. It has the writing, some of her best lyrics yet. It has the age and wisdom that we have watched her gracefully acquire over the years. It’s not pop but it still has the catchy tunes that get stuck in your head, but in a quieter, simpler way. It takes loads more talent to get these songs on the charts than it did with her tried and true formula that she has used in the past for a pop song. She perfected that art, but this is a new level now. It’s not trying too hard, it’s honest. It’s still about love and how far she (and I 😭) have come in that journey. Yet it still has the heartbreak, teenage angst that only she can describe so beautifully. Cardigan might be best of all time. Betty takes me back to something on fearless. Mirror ball and August are light, airy, upbeat and just unique. TLGAD is her storytelling at its finest, yet also a quick fuck you to those who think she’s “ruined” anything. She had a marvelous time. It’s also that personal level, we’ve seen the photos of her and all her friends at this house and it just makes you feel like you’ve been there or something. Exile takes me back to red and I love this duet so much. Invisible string is so.well.written. The concept, so beautiful. The story of her and joe. Details we’ve never heard before. The lakes really ties it all together for me. It’s everything. We’re all isolated right now, but this song speaks to me so much. I’m not a big social media person, I like the simple things in life. I like to read, to write, my circle of friends is dwindling as we all get older and that’s ok because I have the love of my life and that’s all I need. It also speaks to how isolated I feel as a t swift fan, not that there is any shortage of swifties out there, but all the people I am close with are not fans of hers. And that’s fine, we have different tastes in music, whatever. But to me the best thing about Taylor has always been her writing, her poetry. I like the sad sappy songs, I want the auroras and sad prose (I also love the concept of not moving for years) this song has it all, even another subtle fuck you to her critics again. Who are you to tell her what her words are worth? They are better than any other artists’ out there. So many other dumb ass musicians out there that don’t even write any of their music who want to say Taylor isn’t “that great”. To me her words are everything. Folklore is everything. And it’s all hers! That’s huge. I feel like with her owning more of her shit now she can also be free to do whatever the fuck she wants. There’s no pressure for a tour on this album, (fucking covid 🙄) which may have influenced how she wrote it..no fancy dance numbers needed here. Without a big record label down her throat too she may have had more freedom, maybe to not have a hit single (although she still does) there’s no super mainstream straight pop BOP like every other album has had. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for her and her music. Oh and you want to talk about Grammys? GIVE IT TO FOLKLORE.

[mysticalreadingnerd]

My Heart Started Hoping Again (Steve Harrington x Reader Imagine)

Words: 2200

Summary: Mom Steve and Dad Y/N are one step away from becoming Dustin’s official parents. The night of the Snow Ball is a night of introspection for them as they try figuring out their feelings. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Things or any of its characters. I’m just a depressed writer procrastinating from her actual work by writing Harrington fluff. GIF credits to the owner.

Warnings: swearing, angst

A/N: While this is a sequel to my other story ‘Machetes and Near Death Experiences’, this part is stand alone. You can read the first part if you wish to,here. Comments & feedback are appreciated and devoured like Eggos.

“Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!” You rolled your eyes at the exclaimations, watching Dustin turn the room upside down like a wild hurricane on its path of destruction. “Where did you last see it?” Mrs Henderson asked. “It was right here!” he fretted and you watched amusedly as the boy finally lay his hands on a brown paper bag. “Got it!“ 

“Your mom is right you know. You already look amazing!” you said as you followed him to his room. “And as I’ve said before, both of you have a unhealthy bias in this matter. Understandably so, but bias nonetheless.” He flashed his ‘pearls’ in your direction. You rolled your eyes yet again. “I would have taken your word for it if it came to demo-dog hunting. You are a expert level paladin in that, yes. But when it comes to attracting the ladies? I’ll pass.” The nerve! “First of all, rude! Secondly, you are fretting wayy too much over a dance. I had generously offered to take you there…” “In your about to fall apart pickup truck. Yeah right”, he interrupted you. You scoffed mockingly, “Do you even hear yourself lil’ dipshit? You weren’t complaining like this when I hauled your sorry ass everywhere before your bromance with Harrington started!”

“At least its better than your sad romance with him, if you can even call it that.” He smirked at your gobsmacked face before unceremoniously kicking you out of the room. Muttering profanities and threats about how you should have left him in the Upside Down tunnel, you went back to where Mrs Henderson was sitting and gave her a smile as she cooed over the new kitten they had adopted. A car approached the driveway, the tires crunching on the gravel. Your ears perked up when you heard it. “Dusty! Your ride’s here!” you gave a shout before opening the door and walking towards the waiting car. 

“Did I just hear you calling him ‘Dusty’?” Steve Harrington in all his coiffed glory gave you a smirk. “Don’t judge me, mom Steve” you sassed back, opening the door and getting in the back seat. He turned a pretty pink before muttering something about being a sitter and not a mom. “Aww look at King Stevey, he’s going gaga over his baby attending the Snow Ball. They really grow up fast, don’t they?” You placed your hand over your heart, wiping away fake tears and sniffling. You had teased him mercilessly the past month, enjoying the way he would sputter at accusations of being the Mother™ of the Party. You knew that he secretly loved it, the teasing as well as the kids and couldn’t help the smile that graced your lips.

“Seriously? Just get together, you two! How long are you going to make me wait?” Dustin voiced his irritation as he took his place in the car. Steve sputtered a vague denial and you couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you when you saw what he had done with his hair. Young Henderson had finally found a male whom he could idolize and you loved every second of it. The rest of the ride to Hawkins Middle was filled with similar banter, a rhythm that you three fell back comfortably into. 

The past month had been slow in terms of emotional recovery, the odd nightmare still making its an appearance through daily life. You knew things would never go back to the way they were, but life was slowly coming to the accepted levels of normalcy and you had these lovely boys to thank for that. Dustin had become Dusty and Harrington became Steve, though you would never admit that it had anything to do with loving said boys to death. And the rest of the Party was now used to watching this odd ball trio hang around Hawkins or fight intense D & D campaigns where you whooped Steve’s ass. The car reached its destination and a palpable nervousness filled the air.

You glanced at the front seat and felt the anxiety coming off in waves from Dustin. He exhaled slowly as Steven said, “Alright buddy, here we are. So remember, once you get in there…” He prompted, “Pretend like I don’t care.” Dustin answered. You arched an eyebrow at that.

“You don’t care.“

"I don’t care.”

“There you go. You are learning, my friend. You are learning.“

Steve let out a breath, seemingly glad with himself. You couldn’t keep the words in any longer. “And this was the pep talk for? What? Attracting the ladies?” You hadn’t meant to scoff but the glares that you received from the front seat were enough to make you raise you hands in mock surrender.

“Don’t give me the grouchy faces. All I’m saying is be courteous. And above all be yourself Dusty, that’s what really matters.” You patted his shoulder encouragingly. He nodded once before checking himself in the mirror. “Hey. Hey. Hey. You look great, okay? You look… You look great!” Steve tried to boost his esteem. “You are going to go in there. Look like a million bucks. And slay ‘em dead.” “Yeah! Like a lion”, Dustin answered confidently and purred, sounding more like his new pet kitten than a slaying lion. You had a tough time keeping a straight face at that and Steve grimaced slightly. “Yeah, don’t do that okay?” “Okay.” “Good luck, Dustin. Sweep the ladies off their feet!” You cheered as he bumped fists with Steve and got out of the car. 

You took his place in the front seat and were about to drive away when he came back. Thinking he had forgotten something, you rolled the window down only for him to smirk at you both suggestively, “Don’t do weird stuff while I’m gone. Keep it PG 13 okay, kids?” He wiggled his eyebrows and danced out of your reach when you tried smacking him in vain, cheeks blazing red. Both of you should have been used to his ribbing by now, given that he did it twice a day. 

You would have thought that something would really develop between you and Steve once things had settled down. Surviving inter-dimensional monsters had brought you two inescapably closer and there was no denying that you both felt something for the other. But as you looked at him staring off in the distance and followed his gaze, you realized exactly why you had been putting this off or rather, pretending as if it didn’t exist. Nancy. The poor boy was yet to get over the girl he had been together with for over a year, a girl he had been in love with. Who had broken up with him and begun dating Jonathan soon after. You couldn’t blame either of them for following their hearts but you had no wish to get your own feelings trampled in the aftermath.

“So, what are your plans for tonight?” Steve asked, bringing your attention to the present. “Nothing much. Just curling up with books and reading by the fire tonight.” You shrugged, it wasn’t like you had anywhere to go. “I had forgotten that beneath the machete swinging badass you were such a nerd”, he joked playfully. However, his words once again reminded you how different you both were, even though the past month had shown you a side of Steve that you couldn’t have dreamed on the old King of Hawkins High. Your fingers absentmindedly played with the hem of your plaid button up, something that you did everytime you were worried, he had noticed. 

Steve gently untangled your fingers from the hem and gazed at you with a strange emotion in his eyes. An emotion you could easily mistake for love. “You okay?” He questioned softly and you merely nodded before retracting your hand to your lap. The longer his touch lingered on you the more difficult it got for you to think rationally. You had to remind yourself that falling for him any more than you already had would be an extremely bad idea.

“Hey” he ventured again. You were trying to shut him out, something that you had been doing over the past month. Every time he tried to talk with you about your feelings you would clam up, becoming unapproachable in your brooding silences. At times like these, Steve couldn’t help but be frustrated. He wanted to help you with whatever it was that was bothering you but he couldn’t do so unless you told him exactly what was wrong. “You are worrying about something again.” He spoke up and watched your body tense up at his words. When you tried denying the statement he continued, “Don’t deny it. We both know that’s not true. Y/N, talk to me. I want to help you.”

You looked at him as he said that and the adoring expression was back on his face. That was the final blow to your oath of silence. “Don’t give me that look!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger in his face. Steve’s expression morphed from loving to a confused one. “What look?” He asked, a bit wary of your sudden outburst. “You were doing that look. That.. that look you have on your face sometimes. Where you look at me as if you are seeing me for the first time..that look which makes me think that you think I’m beautiful…that you might actually like me…" 

His expression increasingly softened as your rant continued and when he was about to say something you stopped him. “Don’t interrupt me, let me get this out. You look at me the same way you used to look at Nancy and I can’t… I can’t pretend then that I don’t like you, because I do.. I do like you Steve. I like you so much that it frightens me. But I don’t want to be a mistake.” The raw vulnerability in your eyes made his heart ache. He had never seen the unshakeable Y/N L/N look so lost and rattled, not even when they had faced near death at the hands of salivating demo-dogs. And learning that he was the cause of this made it even worse.

He sighed and turned in the seat to face you. “Y/N” he placed a gentle hand on your cheek, stroking the skin in soothing sweeps glad that you were relaxing under his touch. “Y/N, I promise you, whatever happens, you will never be a mistake. You are not Nancy and what I feel for you isn’t a rebound. I had thought that I loved Nancy and it broke my heart when she said our relationship was bullshit.” Hearing his words felt like a knife twisting slowly in your heart and you tried to lean away from his touch. Steve was having none of it. Placing his other hand on your other cheek, he cupped your face and held you in place. Effectively trapping you so that your eyes met his and couldn’t escape anymore. He stared at you as if he held the world in his hands, silently conveying his love through his gaze. “Hear me out, please” he begged and you nodded once, too stunned to say anything. 

“Y/N, I was heart broken when my relationship with Nancy ended but that doesn’t mean that what I feel for you isn’t real. Before this whole Upside Down shindig happened I was sure that I could never love anybody again. Now, when I look at you, my heart has started to believe that maybe I was wrong.” His face came nearer to yours as he spoke, whispering the words like a holy confession. 

“When I look at you, my heart starts hoping again.” His gaze wandered from your eyes to your lips and you couldn’t help but feel that somehow, this was how things were meant to be. "And I can’t promise that I’ll be the perfect boyfriend, because I’m not. Hell, I can be a douchebag sometimes” you chuckled at that, the honesty in his eyes was speaking volumes of how much he had changed from his douchebag days. “But with you, I think I can turn my imperfections into something worthwhile.” He paused mere millimeters away from you. You realised that he was giving you time to move away, to refuse to kiss him and in turn avoid heartbreak.

But you were done with running away. It was about time you chased these feelings instead of hiding from them. “Poetic much Harrington?” You smiled at him as he gave you a small one in return, still unsure if you were ready to take the plunge. “Thankfully for you, I find sappy Steve quite lovable.” All he could do was mumble a surprised ‘really?’ before you crashed your lips into his soft ones. He quickly returned the kiss like a man tasting his first breath of fresh air on a crisp December morning. It was an unhurried meeting of touches and caresses, as you both brushed your lips against each other, taking the time to discover this newfound warmth blooming in your hearts. And while being wary of heart break was human nature, could living without love be considered living at all?

~mystical reading nerd

[borrowedbackpack]

Smooth Criminal

Today started out pretty idyllically, with marzipan and friends and other happy things.

We saw the Danish Royal Residence:

We walked closer to the palace and there was a big happening going on, with a lot of people pushing and shoving and the sweet/incredibly irritating strain of a piccolo. I guess the queen didn’t think that the furry hats were enough embarrassment for the poor guards, so she thought on her throne for awhile and though “hmmm...how could I make this job sillier? Ah, yes, they must all learn to play the flute! Wait, the flute is not dumb enough. Make it the piccolo! Ah yes, the teeny flute cousin that is impossible to play without gloves even though it’s cold and rainy af here 9 days out of 10. Go me. I love playing a minor part in the royal world and getting to make up rules.”

So anyways, it appears that every hour on the hour, a large portion of the guards get into formation and march around the courtyard, stopping at every corner to play their little piccolo tune. Then they continue on to the street, where they march and play again, and a bunch of police officers follow them and yell and civilians. I love royal stuff and all, but honestly I think this is a bit excessive.

Next we went and saw what Lonely Planet describes as “Denmark’s Most Anti Climactic Sight” - the Little Mermaid. It’s a rather long and wet walk down the water to get there, and then you see her, say “hm”, take a picture, and go buy a hot dog or a pancake from one of the many carts trying to capitalize on this thing’s inexplicable popularity.

She’s kinda pretty, I guess.

Then we walked all the way back to Heaven, picked up our bags, and hiked to the metro. This was when I truly realized that my backpack is really not bad at all - in fact, I have the smallest backpack I’ve seen in Heaven. I was starting to have a much more positive attitude towards the Big Fella (don’t worry, this changed pretty soon).

God bless young Nele and her ridiculous fucking backpack. I can see some places where the packing could have definitely been trimmed down to a more manageable size, starting with the huge cat pillow.

So then I got on the Metro, went the wrong way for one stop, got off, and went back the other way. This is when the terrible trouble started. I was having about as enjoyable ride as you can have on a crowded train with a giant backpack strapped to your back and a little backpack strapped to your front, THAT IS until the Metro police showed up. At first this was not stressful at all, as I was in possession of a perfectly valid ReisjeKort that I had barely used and paid a butt ton of cash kroner for. Proudly, I handed the Metro police my ReisjeKort. She scanned it on the little machine and it immediately started freaking the fuck out and making a big scene to make sure that all the other travellers knew that there was an IMPOSTER on this train. 

“kahksnkfbugbwuenoifmks hoinga honga ja ja nej ingen med kort ikea indfbdghjd pølser” said the Metro police.

“huh” I said.

“Can I see your passport?” said the Metro police.

“uhhhhhhhh yeah” said Anna, the Valid Traveller™

Then she starting writing some shit on in her little Metro Police book, and gave me a form to fill out.

“Why do I have to fill this out?” I asked.

“Because you’re getting a penalty for not HAVING A VALID TICKET”.

“But I do I a valid ticket”, I politely reminded her “you’re holding it right there”

“Yeah well you haven't checked out* with it in 1.5 days”

*uhm who knew you had to check out as well as check in? This isn’t an effing hotel....I am from the sticks...this is like my 3rd time on a train....I basically made a donation to your organization by accidentally buying an expensive Metro card that I definitely will not use up in only 2 days...and this is how I’m treated? Me, a humble Metro donor? It was shocking.

“Hm” I said. I wasn’t sure what else to say, so I said “I’m not actually from here”.

“The sky is blue and Denmark is windy”** said the Metro police.

**the Metro police actually did not say this.

Anyways, then I filled out my form really messily and just filled in my city as “PA” so the pigs can’t find me, and politely thanked her as she handed me my ticket while all the onlookers enjoyed the show, because I wasn’t raised in the gd jungle.

All of this nonsense took up most of my train ride, so I got off at the next stop. When I got of the Metro, I was very grouchy because I don’t really care to get in trouble. I looked at my google maps directions, which I had cleverly screenshotted on my phone the night before. Sadly, step 1 was simply to walk 280m.

“Hm” I said. 

I tried to use common sense by walking in the direction where I saw a lot of buildings, which is where it seems like a hostel should be, in my opinion. Of course, this was the wrong way, but I kept waking just in case, because I’m that kind of gal. After about an hour I was up on some roof and was ready to accept that this truly was not the right way.

Note: This piece of shit hostel is wayy way way out in this super modern suburb, it basically looks like how you would imagine the world looking in 2300 after the world has ended and been completely rebuilt. Basically, all the buildings are made out of glass and look exactly the same, perfect.

Then I turned around and wandered around for about half and hour more, and I was still very confused because there was no way the hostel was the other way, since the other way was a field. So then I sat on a rock for awhile and got a little teary because I was out of options, my dudes. 

Next I sacrificed $10 to turn on my data and use Google Maps, Sweet, simple Google Maps was a little confused too, first it said it was 5km away, then 1, then 2....

“fuck” I said softly, because I really didn’t want to walk anymore.

Next I sent out a distress call to Jen and Pete, even though they couldn’t really do anything. Jen commiserated with me, and Pete accurately described the situation as a “bummer”.

Next, I walked all the way to a big field. I saw a highway, which actually had the right street name I was looking for.

“why the fuck is it way out here” I thought.

So then I walked about 25km down the dusty highway into a gale force wind that almost caused me and the big fella to crash into the ditch at several points.

Eventually I saw the beacon of the Danhostel flags, which was rather exciting, although after I’d walked for 2+ hours with all my shit, I’m not sure that even Beyonce gracefully swooping down from the sky on a unicorn to guide me the rest of the way would’ve excited me much.

I did not receive the hero’s welcome I had hoped for upon arriving at the hostel- unfortunately it seems like I ruined the ginger Dane at the front desk’s day by checking in. I wandered down a hallway that smelled funny to my room, which looked like camp and had some tasty Israeli cookies sitting on the table.

I stewed in my room for awhile, then went to kitchen, where I scored some free muesli and oatmeal. There was an old French couple in there, who stared at me the entire time I ate my oatmeal. I think they knew that I was now a Metro Criminal™. Also, before the kitchen thing, I talked to old Jen and told her about my Metro woes. She helpfully reminded me that I am leaving the country tomorrow and don’t owe Denmark shit.*

*may not be an exact quote.

There wasn’t really a  common space to hang out in the hostel, so I went in to the lobby, which was completely empty except for this tall gaunt looking guy with a really wonky eye. I almost screamed when I saw him, but fortunately I kept it together.

That’s about all, gotta get my rest now so I can be fresh to wake up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow and hike down the highway of broken dreams or whatever.