#i made myself sad on purpose.
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A BAD DREAM. Part 2
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Part 1| Part 2
ONCE AGAIN! I've destroyed my back for your satisfaction. Such an update schedule huh?
Drawing at this speed gonna take a chunk out of me sooner or later.
Well how are we feeling people? 🫶 Sad? Despair?
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"Ford wanted to sit down and finally talk about their issues, catching up after Weirdmegedon. Unfortunately he found out a memory his brother will never forget."
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"Oh, Ophelia You've been on my mind girl since the flood Oh, Ophelia Heaven help a fool who falls in love"
Ophelia - The Lumineers
🍂
Like my art? Commission me here!
#thunderjellyfisharts#destiel#destiel fanart#deancas#deancas fanart#castiel#dean winchester#deancas art#I think i made myself sad#but like not on purpose
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Laudna, who died in such a terrible, violent way, waking up confused and afraid and clawing her way out of Whitestone cemetery after her whole family was killed and she was mutilated and put on display and hung from the Sun Tree to taunt some people she had never met, knowing she should not be alive, hearing Delilah's whispers in her head, alone.
Ashton, who died in such a sudden and painful way, seeing the end coming in slow motion as the balcony and the moon got further and further away, landing head-first on the cobblestones and shattering into so many pieces, waking up confused and afraid on an operating table with nobody but Milo Krook, a new friend they didn't know so well and not the person they wanted to see after their family, the Nobodies, abandoned them to die, alone.
Laudna, who died a second time and who's body was treated so tenderly and lovingly and carefully in that time, who's friends travelled across the world and contacted powerful allies from every corner of the world in the hopes of finding some way to save her, and found somebody who could bring her back and fought Delilah for her freedom, waking up back home in Whitestone, surrounded by friends who felt relief and gratitude and love at her return, people who loved her and missed her and was so glad to have her back.
Ashton, who died a second time and who's crumbling body was kicked and spat on and screamed at and abandoned on the cold stone of an unfamiliar place, surrounded by people who once cared for them but now hold nothing but distrust and disdain and disappointment and rage, turning their backs on him the moment they know he's breathing, too angry to even look at him, leaving him to pick himself up and put his own pieces back together and try and find a way to carry on knowing that nothing will ever be the same.
Long ago, on the airship, Ashton told Laudna that he wishes he knew what it felt like to come back to life surrounded by friends instead of being scared and confused and alone. Now they know, and it's probably worse to them than waking up alone.
#critical role#bells hells#ashton greymoore#laudna#wow i made myself sad#i did not watch yesterdays episode on purpose but ive seen spoilers and it breaks my heart#but yeah i was thinking of this and it make me so sad that ashton finally came back to live surround by friends and it was terrible#once again they think laudna got to have the better death experience and this time i think they'd be right#please no hate or discourse on this post i love them both so much and they've both been through a lot but this is ashtons turn#and Ashton was right! i hate to say it but if he died bh wouldn't miss them they'd probably be unsurprised and that breaks my heart
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guys you know how i feel about himuro yes? well. listen to this. i ask my beloved boyfriend "who is your fav character in knb?" as we're watching it, and he says "oh i think aomine" and i celebrated the successful inauguration of another member to the Best Stupid Idiot Fanclub, only for my bf to then say "actually no, maybe it's kagami's brother" and i detached myself from his arms then slid across the couch to sit cross legged by myself. wrong answer ! wrong answer
#i said “how did we watch the same eps and you LIKE him” and he says im sorry et cetera he's very nice and i say “i cant BELIEVE this”#and he says im sorry i like him he's just a dumb kid who cant communicate how he feels#outing myself as cuddling for the purposes of demonstrating the sheer foolishness i am surrounded with#this is not a serious post btw. i just want ppl to know it's not serious#he (my bf) is so funny and nice for APOLOGISING for having a different opinion HASJDHASKDH#he has to do this a lot unfortunately :/ when will he learn that i am right and no other answer is right#no but can we talk about the leap from aomine to himuro? get out of here#he used to love kagami best but seeing aomine be depressed and sad made him like him#like . it makes so much sense#my boyfriend was at least correct for THAT#he also loves kuroko and he was complaining a lot about takao bc takao can stop him#we are JUST about to watch the kirisaki daiichi match i cant WAITTTTTTT
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Hmm... does anyone find it ironic that the spirit Azula chose to take the form as a spirit that is the manifestation of mothers who died of sadness after their children died.
#when your mommy issues leak into your work life#I don't know if this was on purpose but still#Had a random thought but what if this was a story that Azula heard when and she was younger#and was how nine year old Azula coped with the fact that her mother had disappeared in the middle of the night#without even a goodbye#Now I made myself sad#azula#ursa#atla#atla comics#avatar the last airbender
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What you’d least like to hear (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#I actually made this much earlier in the year - I wanna say in June?? But held off on it#I'd review my notes but hrmnh - best I can guess is I planned to digitize it and that didn't pan out before the end of the year#It also looks like it might've been around the same time as my ISaT fic - very much in the same emotional vein#I really love DAX <3 He's so wonderfully prideful and sure of himself and Very Certain that he and ZEX are a forever kind of deal hehe#Even if that means getting regularly knife-twisted about his feelings he's still willing and wanting to be by his side and support him#He loves him! He wants to be useful to him and has deeply-held confidence that he is needed by him#Irreplaceable - ZEX's DAX#Which of course means that being told By his Admiral that he was Wrong and Foolish to ever think as much#Where's he supposed to go from there#I saw something similar in a post recently actually - maybe just waiting for the time to finally be right haha#''I forged myself into a weapon specifically for you and now I have no other purpose to serve'' ough#Living for someone else to its extreme conclusion#I was rereading DAX and Dr. Vargas(es)'s scene recently as well - ''Do you have any dreams of your own?'' hghh#It's not quite of the Skelebros or the Vargases but whatever DAX has towards ZEX is definitely Something ''Who am I without you''#Another part of what makes We Do What Is Necessary so sad! One without the other is always sad but DAX without ZEX...#I really do want to continue the fic I have from his/Dexter's POV as well - what Would he be like without his main focus!#Somewhere he never thought he'd be - everything ZEX after a point haha#The fun of the institute is the opportunity to explore such owies right in the forefront - so many forms of emotional and physical torture#What would make ZEX say something like this! Or would Whoever-it-is just happen to share his current body's face hmm#Never quite sure who anyone is with changing bodies around here#Not that Max would say it like this either haha but who's to say it would have to be Max hmm#Considerations many
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once again thinking about how, as far as connections go, Ogden has no family. His family gave him up and he was sent to the Ansburg Circle, considered to be a backwater area. Out of the way, not to be noticed, while his family continued their social ladder climb from gentry.
And then the whole Circle mage stuff and then the Mage-Templar War where he lost some of his friends from there.
and now after doing Weisshaupt. Yeah, he found family and friends in the wardens, but now...
How many are left?
When will Ogden allow himself to mourn all the things he's lost?
#I purposely made the staple sad blond human guy for this game#and now I am gut punching myself with feelings it's ok#Character: Ogden Thorne#datv spoilers#dav spoilers
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faolan and his boss joey..
i cannot believe i spent 4 hours on a meme... LET ME OUT 🦅🦅🦅
#guys he was not supposed to be joe biden it happened on accident....#the photo on the wall is joey and his wife shannon at their wedding in 1974..#it's there for lore purposes#faolan killed joeys wife#also#i made myself some tea but i accidentally put too much vanilla in it... this is so sad...#it's still tasty though#idk how to make comics? so i don't ahve any actual anything for this guy... al his lore exists in my head...#starts screaming#gets shot in the head and dies#fruit toasts cool art tag btw#fruity ocs 🐛#goblin 5#werewolf#werewolf oc#oc art#artists on tumblr#guys please let me out i'm using actual tags this is horrible#queer artist#trans artist#LEF ME OUT#PLEASE
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I think etho and bdubs might be in love
#I made myself sad by seeing people be genuinely rly mean on the Internet#So now I am cheering up w the knowledge that ethubs are in love#I think everytime etho looks at bdubs he feels his heart melt#I think everytime bdubs mispronounces sth on purpose in a goofy way etho falls in love all over again#I think whenever etho sees bdubs' messy and un-optimised redstone the first words that come to his mind is 'I love you'#I think any moment spent together is a gift#To both of them#I think they both think of the other as their sunshine#I think they're just so stupidly in love#Sighs
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Which Old God are you affiliated with? (Fear and Hunger)
The God of Fear and Hunger
A newly-born being able to rival the power of the Old Gods. You find yourself affiliated with her. Perhaps in your life you have gone through many changes. Some you wish not to speak of. But do not lose them to time. Remember your beginning. Remember your life. If humans are anything but two things that is hunger and rage. And like the ones before you, you can consume, swallow and devour until you are sick but you will never be satisfied. You may find yourself at an inability to express yourself, like your tongue has been cut right out of your mouth. By the hand of your father or God. It doesn't matter to you. You will change. You will change yourself and others. No one can tell if you are showing mercy or thinly disguised cruelty.
(Potential spoiler! Read more about Them here)
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((Hello. Hi. Welcome to my new hyperfixation that is Fear and Hunger series :’D Anyway, this is a quiz result for WoL!Cole if he found himself in Funger universe and forced to affiliate himself with any God existing within that universe. I actually half-expect he would get The God of Fear and Hunger but I didn’t expect how close the answer would be to who he is. Interesting food for thought, that for sure))
Take the quiz here! [MAY CONTAIN SENSITIVE CONTENT AND SPOILERS]
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Tagged By: No one! But credit to the original quiz maker @wyrmbaat :3c
Tagging: Anyone who wanna give it a try! You don’t have to know about Fear and Hunger to take it but having prior knowledge is a bonus
#Fear and Hunger#Fear and Hunger series#Final Fantasy#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#Cole Ushiromiya#Ushiromiya Cole#Quizzes for RP purposes#well that's a new tag now#btw I myself got God of Depths and uhhhh.... yeah :'D#I can hear TF2 Soldier calling me maggots now#the irony that WoL!Cole kills Gods on (hypothetically) daily basis but he has to affiliate himself with one seemingly immortal one#he'd probably fight tooth and nail for this God's former mortal life even if their divine form would kill him in the end instead#if you know you know#No piccies! I want to keep you guessing of how they look#It's just sad all around man :'D#Surprisingly no Termina Gods#Rher is there but that's it#anyway wyrmbaat made another quiz regarding souls and I'm planning to do it as well as soon as I get a fitting image :3c#watermarks in we die like men
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Ok the fact that Kabru and I have very similar disorderd eating for very similar reasons is making me so emotional. Like I cannot even begin to describe how it makes me feel
#ive had anorexia for over 10 years#i dont wanna tramua dump but it was a mix of wanting to control something giving myself what i thought was the best appearance#byt the biggest thing was wanting others not to worry about me#i wanted others to have my portions over me cause jt made me feel useful when i felt i had no purpose#i still struggle wjth jt a lot#and seeing kabru go through something like that aomething i would never wish on anyone especially him#it makes me just so sad and heartbroken ya kno#you cant pour from an empty cup ya kno ?#if u wanna help take care of kthers u gotta take care of yourself#ill still go days without eating on occasion hell i still dont feel hungry most of the time#but i have people who love me and want me tk be here so i do jt#and to see him going through something so similar it is beyond heartbreaking#im literally crying i just#im emotional im so goddamn emotional#i need to go to sleep or at least try cause im crying but yea#eating disorder tw
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I have some thoughts about the Dead Poets Society blindfold deleted scene. I mean, there's the way Neil is so clearly enraptured by the music, obviously enjoying this escape, treasuring this serenity.
But then also the way he stays behind, as all of his classmates leave.
Everyone gets up to keep going and Neil sits behind, he stays with his blindfold on, he stays in the darkness, refusing to leave that escapism.
Then later, he takes his own life, because he sees it as the only way to escape the life his father laid out for him. And everyone has to move on without him.
#dead poets society#neil perry#im watching the deleted scenes for fic purposes#and i made myself sad#so now you all get to be sad with me!!#also obviously neil's motivation for his suicide cant be summed up so easily#but that's a big part of it#tw suicide mention#suicide mention
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might be moving sometime soon, and as exciting as that is, my brain has immediately turned it into 'time to be very anxious' which is like. come on man. this sucks!!! what is being anxious about it now gonna do. at 11pm, way before we even know exactly whats going on??? Chill
#i made a to do list that will hopefully help me out#so i'll just start doing stuff on it tomorrow#easy peasy :-)#i need a text post tag#all i gotta do tonight??? Sleep. sooo easy#sleep and not think about 1000 things to make myself sad or scared on purpose#i'm gonna lean into my shiny hunting obsession. who will win: my exhaustion my anxiety or my desire to find shiny klawf
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"no i dont think DID really effects my art styles or design choices since all of it is basically muscle memory anyways" my ass
#txt#not quoting anyone but myself from like a year ago or so#mine#MY OLD DRAWINGS OF SHELBY ARE SO FUNNY LOOKING. they look so sad#i also made them a lot more fem presenting but ppl started misgendering them (NOT ON PURPOSE) and then i saw the she/her stuff on the wiki#and kepot having dreams about them being misgendered so ive tried to start making them look a little more masc#i should bring back those lips though theyre cute
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#WAIT#tell me this isn't a steve rogers song!#it! is!#especially freshly awoken steve in the 21st century#'I was an ideal / Looked so alive turns out I'm not real / Just somethin' you paid for'#steve being a propaganda pawn#'When did it end? All the enjoyment / I'm sad again don't tell my boyfriend / It's not what he's made for'#steve wanting to be strong all the time and not wanting to bleed on people#feeling like his problems and traumas aren't anywhere near as deep or serious as bucky's when#in fact#they are#the whole#'what was i made for?'#steve trying to distinguish between steve rogers and captain america#who is he#what's his purpose#what should he be doing#...#great#i made myself sad#steve rogers#Spotify
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(Oh frick there actually is a tag limit so my last ten to twenty tags got cut off!) but basically the last part was talking about how all the characters I write, even the fanfiction (non original) characters, get a little piece of my heart. This post was me drabbling about a shelved original project that I stopped working on years ago, and I was having big feelings at 3 am because of this post
leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this
#Okay so#I’m not a composer#however this made me think of a shelved original project I had#graphic novel series i was developing from 2010-2016#but i had leitmotifs for each character#I was planning on eventually publishing on tapas or webtoons when preproduction was done so I was going to have music for each update#Nothing too complicated#however I have moderate pitch#and even though i did play an instrument and can read some music#I could never sing a note and be able to remember which note was what#so i had audio files of myself humming these leitmotifs#and i would hold an electronic tuner and sing into it while transcribing the melodies into a music program#anyway this post made me think of the old project#and I realized I couldn’t remember the leitmotifs very much anymore#and I started to get a little sad#but then I was able to remember the one that had the most development#because each leitmotif had two purposes#they would be named for a character (the story had eight main)#but they would also be representative of a particular emotion#so not only would these songs have played (in my head at least) while a character was present#but would also play for particular tones#also each leitmotif had a particular instrument#so the one I could remember was for a particular character identified by a violoncello and represented grief I think#And it would intermingle other themes when a character was struggling with (the many bad things that would happen)#(as would the other themes play off eachother) I know it sounds like a mess but I had a some archives of how this played out#but the violoncello/grief leitmotif I had played in two ways#it had a moderate 4/4 time stamp for usual uses#however when the character is dying it would shift hard into 2/4 timestamp as if we are also delaying the enviable#This character was the most empathetic of the group and probably the one most like me#all my characterizations
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