#i lowkey wanna do the hospital one but it is /more/ in general than the little drabbles ive been doing since like fucking july or something

[hold-him-down]

and i’ll have you know that i’ve posted two things in three days, which is probably close to as many things as i posted in 2022 as a whole.

if i had polls, i’d ask what you wanted next of the MANY WIPS, but as i don’t, it’s either gonna be the long awaited and over-hyped (by me) bath scene with lukey, OR it’s gonna be the leo-in-the-hospital chaos week.

[velaryqns]

Robert chase x female reader.

Based on season 3

Chase started to fall in love with his co-worker Y/n but she can’t see him in that way, or that’s what she said. But the truth is that she likes chase as well.

Chase starts to get a little jealous like he did in episode 19 of season 3.

They finally get together and chase couldn’t be happier.

Since Y/n and chase started to work with each other she didn’t like him because she thought he was an idiot who didn’t care about anyone then himself. But chase changed himself for y/n.

Change

Pairing: Robert Chase x Fem!Reader

Universe: House Md

Summary: hiding feelings for your co-worker was never a good idea, on either end. But when he’s fed up after witnessing you be too close with a co-worker: Chase will do anything in his power to show you he’s serious about his possible chance at a relationship with you

Warnings: medical talk, Greg House being Greg House, jealous Robert Chase, slight angst and arguing

Notes: another Chase request; you’re on a role. I did make it so Chase is jealous of reader’s FRIENDSHIP with Wilson; the whole Chase being jealous of a kid was on par for his character but I don’t wanna write that so. This one was definitely shorter than On Your Side, lowkey hummed about that.

“I see you were with Wilson last night,” Robert Chase pointed out as the two of you walked alongside one another into the locker room for the morning. You raised a brow, caught off guard by his sudden choice of words.

“Why does it matter what I was doing with my friend?” You asked him accusingly.

“It’s just ironic that you’ll grab a drink with him but not me,”

“I never said I wouldn’t get a drink with you,” You informed him. You stopped and faced him full on, a look of disbelieve on your face, “But I know you want something more from that and I can’t ruin our friendship. I went with Wilson because we’re friends. Like we have been since I started working here.”

You didn’t bother putting your things in the Locke room, and decided you’d take everything to Wilson’s office to save you the haste of listening to House complain all day. You were grateful that Wilson wasn’t in his office, and just set your things on the sofa and walked back out to go to House’s office.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t understand where Chase’s feelings for you came from. And you would also be lying if you said you didn’t share those feelings. But he was impulsive, and sometimes selfish — you didn’t like that.

Chase walked in with Foreman close behind. Foreman instantly didn’t want to be at work as soon as he could sense the hostility between you and Chase, and sat as far away from you as he possibly could. Foreman had always seen the butt end of these arguments that you and Chase had gotten into recently, and House only fed into them.

The case was pretty open close once House and Cameron walked in; House gave you all tasks and went on his way while you all went through all of the work. You sat in the patient’s room with Chase, asking her any questions that she could answer to see if you could get any general ideas as to what could have put her in the hospital.

The information you got wasn’t a lot, but you took what you could and the team gathered together to bounce ideas off of one another. House didn’t shut down each idea that came his way; challenging everyone to find a bigger and better idea.

Safe to say that the case went the same as every other. House avoided much of his job, this included clinic duties that Cuddy got after him to do. You packed up your things from Wilson’s office, and he got you to agree to let him walk you to your car.

“So what provoked you to stash your things in my office?” He inquired, pulling on his coat and joining you in the hall.

You watched James close his office door and lock it. You sighed, shaking your head, “Robert and I got into an argument.”

James raised a brow, not bothering to ask for more information. Nodding you continued, “He’s upset that I keep turning him down…but it’s so hard to say no to him every single time.”

You sighed, not noticing that Chase was talking to Cameron in the hall as you shook your head, “He can be selfish. Impulsive…and extremely idiotic. And I don’t know if I’d be able to handle that in a relationship.”

Chase watched you walk past him, James listening to you intently as the both of you didn’t notice his presence. His brows knit together and he lost track of his thoughts as he looked at Allison.

“I’d say they’re arguing about House, but she would never date him,” the brunette made a look of disgust before she chuckled and turned to walk away.

“Cameron, wait,” Chase called out, she faced him again. She looked confused, “I think I need your help with something.”

You had just finished a shower when you heard a knock at the door. Ensuring you looked presentable, you walked to the door and pulled it open. Robert Chase stood smiling down at you, a bouquet of flowers [whatever flowers you wish] in one hand and takeout in the other.

“It’s almost nine o’clock,” You told him, an amused look crossing your face while he shrugged.

“I overheard your conversation with Wilson,” he admitted. This caught you off guard, as the Robert you knew would frequently keep something like this from you for as long as possible, “And I want to say that I hate that you feel that way about me. But for you? I’d be willing to fix that.”

You shook your head, “No, Robert —“

“Y/n, I love you,” he interrupted almost immediately, taking a step toward you and setting the takeout bag on the floor. He shook his head as he looked down at you, “And I don’t want to go without attempting a relationship with you when you feel as if I’m selfish—“

“You are,” You interrupted with a grin.

He shook his head, ignoring you, “Impulsive—“

“Which you are,” you insisted.

“And an idiot,” You made a face, and he sighed, whispering, “You can have that one.”

“I have all of them,” You muttered.

“Please,” he pleaded, taking your hand, “Just give this one chance. Give us…better yet me a chance.”

You smiled up at Robert, knowing it was hard to refuse him when he was being oh so sweet — and surprisingly thinking with his head.

“Of course I will,” you told him, reaching you to wrap an arm around his neck and pulling him down to you. He chuckled as your lips interlocked, a brief kiss being shared before you pulled away, “Let’s get you out of this hallway.”

The next morning, you walked into work with Robert instead of James. You enjoyed each other’s company as you walked into the locker room and changed for the day, deciding on possible things to do after work.

Before you could depart to start on task for the day, you grabbed Robert’s hand to give it a quick squeeze, and then planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Don’t be stupid,”

He chuckled and watched you walk away, maybe you were right, but he wouldn’t let you get away with thinking so.

[qveenpoppy]

okay let's go episode 2:

wolf somehow doesn't know what pokemon or game of thrones is (i know his pop culture knowledge is near nonexistent, but even i've at least heard of both franchises, despite never engaging in them)

there's little references to the hospital being understaffed (like dr. landon apparently performed a surgery herself) and underfunded, but i feel like the show's been mostly glossing over it (unless it's just something that's easy to miss, given that it's yet to play a major role in an episode plot)

wolf lowkey has a bratty side, given how he talks to his mom this episode

wolf ignoring nichols got me giggling and kicking my feet

wolf also can't do sports analogies to save his life. now is that bc he's gay or a nerd? /j

wolf's lil striped sweater is so cute. if i could make a gifset dedicated to that look, i would.

"oliver, try not to get too attached. we both know it hasn't served you well in the past." hmm (i know they tie this line to him empathizing with a frog in hs, but i feel like it might also refer to a patient he treated in the past)

the way they depict jessie's feelings of disembodiment are incredibly well done. the one shot in particular of her simultaneously falling and rising is really cool. (this show in general makes some cool, unique directing choices. i know i talk about emmys deserved for the acting, but this show deserves some love for its directing too.)

wolf also doesn't understand dana's sixth sense reference

"dr. wolf is the chief's son?" i love you, token himbo van (he is so golden retriever-coded)

"you keep blowing past me... on three separate occasions." "why are you counting?" lmaooooooo get him, wolf

(something something nichols fell first but wolf fell harder)

never realized how prominent the height difference is between them when they're standing in front of jessie's brain scans (i can't believe nichols makes 6'1 wolf look tiny)

it's implied that wolf didn't really need nichols to look at the scans with him. he said he wanted a second opinion, but also admitted he was scared for jessie. could he have wanted nichols there for... emotional support?

someone made a post the other day about what ericka's neuro/psycho issue might be. idk if it counts, but i wanna say she might suffer from some sort of issues with perfectionism? or maybe people-pleasing? given how she said she spent all her time in college studying and working rather than partying and socializing (but that's also pretty typical for those of us more studious folks, i say as someone who went to community college and therefore did nearly nothing in terms of social things on campus...)

actually maybe i was wrong about the underfunding thing being irrelevant, since it comes up for jessie, who may have had to be sent to a long-term care facility so, as wolf says, the hospital can "free up a bed" (and i know a similar thing was said about roman once, i forget in what episode - 4, maybe 5? before he showed any real signs of awareness)

the "freakishly large hands" exchange is so incredibly flirty, i can't take it. i dare say the wolfnichols dynamic did a complete 180 from the pilot to episode 2. like the pilot gives enemies to lovers, but episode 2 (and beyond) just gives... lovers. (or like flirty coworkers who both slowly (given how much time it takes for them to act) and quickly (in terms of episode count) develop a bond and fall hard for each other.)

underrated parts of the scene: wolf's little smirk when he jokingly addresses nichols without looking at him, and nichols wringing his hands when asking what his defining feature is (like he's a nervous little boy talking to his crush)

did i rewind and rewatch that scene 3 times in a row? yes, yes i did

the end scene with muriel & carol really makes it seem like wolf did some fucked up things in his past, which, as i discussed with someone the other day, i once thought meant he was responsible for his dad's death, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. at least, he's not directly responsible, though he probably still harbors some guilt about the whole situation. still, wonder when the implications of that scene come back into play. (could that be one of the "surprises" showrunner grassi referred to when he talked about what was in store for wolf & nichols?)

[kudzucataclysm]

tell me moar about vince

yur wish is my command v-v

Vincent is the adopted child of a pretty powerful local crime lord named Elroy Slaughter, who took her in in the midst of the European refugee crisis. Growing up, Vince was surrounded by a lot of underground criminal cutthroats, the politics of which were extremely stress inducing- at 13 she was clinically depressed and suffering from early symptoms of OCD. Elroy eventually drifted away as a parental figure and Vincent was more or less left alone to herself with only her tutors to really talk to. At some point Jack was hired as her bodyguard and the two became friends! And one day Vince convinced him to run away together; which they did, but unfortunately for Vince, Jack is legally Antumbra property and the organization tracked him down and took him away. So she was homeless, and left alone again.

She found herself working as an illegal debt collector for some unsavory persons when she met Francis! Frank was fresh out of the hospital suffering from severe memory loss and trying to earn money just to eat, so the chimera spent a lot of time out on the street taking whatever jobs she could as a ten year old lol- and while Vince was concerned at first about Francis’s situation, she kept Frank around after Frank prevented her from killing herself so…it became a “i still have to be alive for SOME reason…and that reason is to take care of this child!! Haha!!!” and well.

Yeah that didn’t pan out…after y’know, everything, Carmine more or less found her and was like “WOW LOL. YOU’RE A FUCKING MESS, wanna work for me?” because well, Vince may be a fuckup but she’s good at what she does and was at absolute rock bottom after Francis sent her to the hospital. Car got her off heroin and instead supplied her with free xanax and oxy as a leash of sorts, so now Vince works for Carmine!!. There’s more to it than that, but thats Carmine’s business, not Vince’s lol

During her stint with Francis, she met Jack again. And while they managed to rekindle their friendship, both had changed; Vincent falling further and further into her addiction while Jack refocused on his duties for Antumbra. Jack actually babysat Francis a couple times!! But Vince and Jack’s relationship didn’t really last either, when they both ended up on opposite sides of a job and Jack chose his job over her so…whew

But yeah thats her history!!

Vincent is just…a mess. The queen of ruining her own life. She only feels like she has some control over her life when she does drugs and self-harms unfortunately, and juggles…a lot, emotionally. She’s a good person, deep down!!...maybe!!! She still cares about Francis but honestly doesn’t have the mental patience to deal with Frank as she is now so they fight a lot, made worse by the fact that they’re now coworkers. Francis is very "you should kill yourself...NOW!!!" at Vince and Vince makes fun of Frank and tries to get under her skin wnv she can

Other stuff…hmm….

Powers!! Vince has ice generation powers that she doesn’t have the greatest control over, as well as some accelerated healing due to her nature as a mutant.

Despite her weird on/off relationship with Jack, the two still hang out and the romantic/sexual tension is lowkey crazy. They sometimes go on ‘dates’ to the local aquarium and natural history museums (Vince likes to point at dino skeletons like “omg JJ those’re yur grandparents lol”). They were the only ones each other had for a while, growing up together as mutant transgender kids in a very volatile situation (aftermath of the Urban Civil War and refugee crisis) so even though they often fight and argue and kinda-not-really try to kill each other, they DO still like. YEARN FOR HOW IT USED TO BE BETWEEN THEM…

and shes a person in the NEC who knows somebody who knows somebody ya know what im sayin??? if anyone needs anything, Vincent is usually the one to talk to despite being seen as a bit of an annoyance and a HazardTM ("sir that lady has cost us 2$ million in damages alone plz stop hiring her-"). but she gets the job done!!!

[punkscowardschampions]

Bibi & Janbi & JJ Pt.1

Libi: [okay so I’m thinking this is like late on her bday catch him before he goes to bed vibes, because 1. She doesn’t really wanna talk to him and is lowkey gonna be leaving this message like a secretary and 2. She’s been busy with all her bday shenanigans, especially Peach and only been going on to post pics of her excitedly without checking anyone’s socials but she finally does when they’ve finished the paint party of her new room cos clearly her plan was to post content of that too but then she sees what Bobby/China/both have posted and is genuinely so upset about it that she has a really bad full blown asthma attack in said newly painted empty room, like I’m vibing she would have had to go to hospital if not for JJ doing some iconic levels of teamwork and managing to calm her down, so sending this boy a message when she’s recovered enough to do it]

Libi: I’ll be off [whenever the nearest school day is, whether her bday is on a school day so literally tomorrow or it’s the weekend and she means monday], you’ll have to manage on your own

Bobby: 👍 no problem

Bobby: You get wasted and throw another party again, is it?

Libi: Closest to a happy birthday as I’ll get from you, is it?

Bobby: you’ve been spoilt plenty

Libi: Alright, night then

Bobby: Don’t let the paint fumes kill you

Libi: Don’t wake me when you come in, more like, I’m having the sofa

Bobby: By all means, make yourself at home, he’ll have already said it’s fine without consulting me at all

Libi: Yeah, he did

Libi: hurts to be blindsided by something important you should know about, huh?

Bobby: He’s an idiot but a generous one, his inability to say no has stopped surprising us at this point

Bobby: what’s he meant to do, leave you with nowhere to go

Libi: I have loads of somewheres to go, it’s not lack of options keeping me here

Bobby: do you though

Libi: Of course I do

Bobby: There’s no room above the pub, taken away another option by gifting you a slobbery massive dog, I don’t know about that, like

Libi: Tah for your fake concern, but I’m okay, really

Bobby: just pointing out the obligation, even if he’s the only one of ‘em who believes in it still

Libi: You know what, I’d love to point something out if that’s what we’re doing

Libi: for all your big talk after my party, everything you were up to today is exactly like a move Casey would pull

Libi: she’s even blonde, congrats

Bobby: Of course you’re mad 🙄

Bobby: you hate her anyway, it wouldn’t matter to you if she was really helping me right now

Libi: With her kind words? She can’t speak to you in person, how can she possibly help you with anything other than the proper reason you picked her to spend your day with?

Bobby: As I’m nothing like Case, I can read, tah

Bobby: just like I’ll have to at school when you can’t be arsed to show up

Libi: You couldn’t be more like him right now unless you’re posting with her sister soon

Bobby: You’ve never wanted me to have any friends of my own

Libi: That’s such bullshit

Libi: you’ve never shown no interest in China before wanting to hurt me

Bobby: I wouldn’t have told you if I had

Bobby: because you’d react like this, making an absolute show of yourself for no reason

Libi: No reason, you used to be scared of her, for fuck’s sake

Bobby: When I was five, and I’d just been dragged here away from home, maybe, I was scared of every fucking thing, thanks for bringing it up 

Libi: She was a massive bitch to you, it needs bringing up

Bobby: Isn’t any of this teaching you that we don’t live in the past now?

Libi: Says you, but why her? 

Libi: it’s a rhetorical question btw, cos the answer’s obvious

Bobby: I’m glad you’ve filled in those blanks, I’m not about to tell you what’s none of your business 

Libi: I would’ve never treated you this way, whatever’s happened

Bobby: it’s not about you, Libi

Libi: How can you just lie and lie and lie?

Bobby: Don’t call us a liar

Libi: Why, does it hurt your feelings?

Libi: I fucking hope so

Bobby: Who’s being a bitch now…

Libi: You started it

Bobby: 👌 acting all 14 of your years

Libi: There you go calling me childish again when this is the most little kid on the playground behaviour ever from you

Bobby: I like her, if you can’t handle that, it’s not my problem

Libi: Very convenient date to choose to act on liking her though

Bobby: Hardly

Bobby: I’m sick of the lot of you, stressed out

Libi: You deffo have some problems, Bobby

Libi: 🤞 she can help you

Bobby: and your family causes all of them

Libi: Don’t look inward, god forbid

Bobby: I haven’t done anything, didn’t ask for any of this

Libi: Might’ve been true before now, but today you did loads, I thought the stories would go on and on ‘til my next birthday

Bobby: Says you, always having to film everything

Libi: What was it you said? Clearly I’m filling a void, sorry

Bobby: You’re showing off, what a class time you’re having with them trying to make it up to you like you’re a spoilt little brat, yeah

Bobby: rather die than have anything off ‘em as a bullshit apology, but you do you

Libi: I will, I’ll do what I want, since you aren’t after it being none of your business no more

Bobby: Suits us down to the ground, that

Bobby: stay out of my way, I’ll be well out of yours, can assure you

Libi: I’m made up for you

Bobby: You would be, if you were any sort of real mate

Libi: Yeah well, maybe we never were

Bobby: Wow

Libi: It’ll be better like this, according to you

Libi: it hardly matters what or who we were to each other, how keen you are to chuck it to one side

Bobby: There’s just no need to be so bloody dramatic, like

Bobby: Of course we were friends, don’t be an idiot

Libi: Don’t call me an idiot

Libi: I’m sorry I’m not a chill cool girl like her and can’t shrug off losing my best friend as if it’s nothing to me

Bobby: I’ve not gone anywhere, Jimmy wouldn’t

Libi: Jesus, yeah you have, you couldn’t be further away

Bobby: You’re making no sense right now

Libi: Forget it, I’ve tried and tried to get through to you, but I don’t, I can’t

Bobby: All I know is we’re still about because he thinks he has to be for your sake

Libi: Blame me, go on, but he’d still have to be about for Janis and the baby if I wasn’t here

Bobby: He hasn’t mentioned it, not once, he don’t want it, care about it

Libi: To you, he don’t fancy putting up with how you’d react, they’ll be talking

Bobby: Optimistic 

Bobby: Isn’t that why they split, you know, beyond the affair she had

Libi: For the baby’s sake they’ll have to both try

Bobby: Babies fix everything, how could I forget

Libi: Wasn’t what I said

Bobby: It’s what you believe

Libi: No it isn’t, they’ll be parents, they have to grow up and raise this kid together putting everything but doing that aside, or he should leave town with you and start over in a new place

Bobby: He clearly thinks she wants him back, what else would he with all the time she’s suddenly spending with him when she couldn’t be bothered before, he’s not going to leave now

Libi: Option 1 then, like Ali and Junior’s dad before my mum died

Bobby: That isn’t fair to him

Bobby: but of course, neither of you cares because you get what you want, never mind he’ll be trying not to die every second

Libi: The kid didn’t ask to be brought into this mess, he had a part in it, I can have all the sympathy in the world for him about how hard it’ll be but it’s still a situation he got himself into

Bobby: He was really in a fit state to consent, weren’t he

Libi: He must’ve been, Janis wouldn’t force him to have a baby with her

Bobby: And why did she do it, eh

Bobby: the marriage was that bad for her, so bad she had to go and fuck Case

Bobby: well good parenting already

Libi: I wasn’t in their bedroom with them, I don’t know

Libi: all I know is, she’s not a monster

Bobby: It’s obvious, come on

Bobby: she did it for attention, and not off Jim, clearly

Libi: How weird you can only see when she’s doing it

Libi: people make mistakes, you’re making one going out with China, so

Bobby: Hardly the same, they’re meant to be adults, aren’t they

Libi: Adults fuck up too

Bobby: Who do you think you’re talking to, I bloody know, that’s all they do

Bobby: you being stupid acting like any of this will ever be alright or work

Libi: Stop calling me stupid

Bobby: Quit your acting and sounding it, easiest way to put a stop to that

Libi: We’re off on our separate ways, remember, it won’t make the slightest difference to you if I want to believe things might be alright

Bobby: I’m off nowhere, so if I want to get myself a missus to make that slightly less shit, I can and I will

Libi: You’re calling her your missus after a day and I’M stupid

Bobby: You think it started today ‘cos you think everything is about you, you’ve got no clue though

Libi: Alright, when did it start? Clue me in

Bobby: Why would I tell you now?

Bobby: obviously she didn’t just agree to go out with me today out of nowhere, we’d have to have been talking, use your common sense, like

Libi: Why wouldn’t she? Obviously you’ve no clue who your missus is

Bobby: real nice, that

Libi: It’s nicer than you using a girl you don’t even like to piss me off and try and ruin my birthday

Bobby: You are so up yourself, I don’t know how I didn’t realise before this

Bobby: for God’s sake, Libi

Libi: And you’re such a liar

Libi: I’d realise if you had a crush on anyone, whether you told or not

Bobby: You rate your detective skills, still, when you didn’t see any of this bollocks coming

Libi: That’s an unfair comparison

Bobby: It were right there, under all our noses, don’t pay yourself the compliment, you’re as clueless as everybody else is

Libi: You’re being a prick to be a prick

Bobby: nah, I’m not

Bobby: this is exactly why I stopped talking to you

Bobby: because you just want to talk about yourself, like the most important thing isn’t currently happening 

Libi: Yeah, and you don’t wanna talk about that, you’d rather act out by getting a missus and rubbing my nose in it

Bobby: You talk like you have a clue, when all you’re saying is noise, you’ve had nothing useful to say since day one

Bobby: I’m better off alone at this point

Libi: Fine, be alone with her

Libi: at this point, I’m done

Bobby: Thanks so much for your blessing

Libi: You’re welcome for everything I’ve ever done for you

Bobby: Holding that all over my head now, are we?

Libi: Sure, fuck it

Libi: you’re determined to let the bridge burn, and to run me down every second that��s left before I walk off

Bobby: I never asked for you to translate for me, I didn’t ask to be like this

Libi: And I didn’t ask to come from a family of fuck ups but you keep on punishing me like hers are mine

Bobby: The best thing for Jim would be to leave, to never look back

Bobby: and you won’t support that

Libi: I would if it was what he wanted

Bobby: Why will no one listen, he can’t be trusted to make that decision right now

Libi: You can’t make it for him, even in his best interests

Bobby: maybe if I had your support

Libi: It isn’t my support you’re looking for, it’s for me to agree with every word you say

Libi: lucky for you, your new girlfriend probably will

Bobby: You’ve really made that sound terrible, well done 👏

Bobby: anyone in their right mind would agree with me

Libi: I’m not in my right mind, I don’t know how any of us would be

Bobby: I won’t be dragged down to their level

Libi: Good for you

Bobby: You’re going to end up just like the rest of ‘em, you know

Libi: I can’t believe I built my entire life around someone who could say that to me

Libi: you win, I’m really fucking stupid

Bobby: I never thought you’d let me down this hard either

Libi: At least this is the last time

Bobby: Suppose we’ll take that

Libi: 🤝

Janis: How’s your lungs?

Janis: Back on track yet?

Libi: The drs will sort them out tomorrow, long as I can drag myself to my appointment 

Janis: I’ll take you

Janis: though, I’m not quite out of touch with my emotions enough to think you mean the physical is the thing holding you back there

Libi: You did loads already, I’ve sorted a lift with [what are you calling Ali cos Tess is nan? Grandma? idk lol] she’s worried

Janis: It was a bad one, I’m not surprised

Libi: Yeah

Janis: have you told her, about any of that?

Janis: She’d be able to help, breathing exercises, all that, right up her alley

Libi: I don’t want to talk about it

Janis: Of course you don’t

Libi: With you either

Janis: Yeah, I got it

Janis: I can’t tell you to, I wouldn’t have told anyone

Janis: but you can’t be making yourself ill, you have to figure out something there, alright?

Libi: I didn’t make myself ill, he did

Janis: Alright but I can no less make him behave like any less of a dickhead so you have to take the responsibility for your health here

Janis: He don’t appreciate what he’s doing is having that kind of effect, and you wouldn’t appreciate if we had to tell him

Libi: He wouldn’t care, he’d tell you I faked it for the drama and sympathy

Janis: I’ve witnessed enough fake panic attacks when Gracie has lost her favourite shoes and her date is in 10 minutes, like

Janis: We both know you weren’t, me and Jim, who were actually there

Libi: What’s important is he still wouldn’t care

Libi: if I was dead he’d invite China to my grave like Mary Shelley

Janis: The one in your year?

Libi: Asia’s sister who bullied him when we were younger, I’m a twat for pointing that out though since he expects me to believe they’ve been in love, or lust, from afar forever, but cos I’m a massive cockblock there’s the reason he didn’t have a childhood wedding to her instead

Janis: I see

Janis: well, YOU know that that’s clearly not true, there’s been no mention of her since those days

Libi: Yeah, and obviously it’s just a coincidence they made it official on my birthday, not at all about me

Janis: He’s never going to cop to that, however obvious

Libi: Why bother when you can keep on lying and being a prick

Janis: If it were purely about pissing you off or ruining your birthday, then he has to see that out

Janis: he won’t be able to hack it long though, if she’s still a bitch like that

Libi: They’re welcome to each other for the next [however long she went out with Jake because we’re being a bitch]

Janis: I don’t think Jimmy knows anything yet

Janis: and I think he’d still tell him, if it was serious?

Libi: It’s all over socials, that’s how Bobby lets people who care about him find out something like this now

Janis: I’m not sure he uses his now but I’ll forward that as a warning, if nothing else

Janis: He knew this would hurt you, or he’d have approached it differently, that’s not bullshit, whatever he’s said, you know that

Libi: If you hadn’t gifted me Peach, it never would’ve happened

Janis: What could she have to do with anything?

Libi: She lives here in his house, he has a right to be upset

Janis: He loves dogs, he just doesn’t appreciate the gesture

Janis: he’d take whatever cue he was given to do what he wanted, he’d still be angry

Libi: You should’ve picked a less permanent gesture, maybe, a gift that don’t have a literal life span to consider

Janis: If you don’t want her, Jim will keep her

Libi: 1. Of course I want her 2. Jim keeping her wouldn’t solve anything about not consulting his brother beforehand about her or me staying and Bobby focusing all his anger on him about it instead of me is the last thing I’d agree to

Janis: As you pointed out, she’s a living creature, not something to be pushed pillar to post on Bobby’s whim

Janis: and he has been ‘consulted’, I know that for a fact, Jimmy’s spoken to him numerous times about still wanting a relationship with you, what Bobby means is his objection wasn’t listened to and he didn’t get his own way about it

Libi: Alright, but he has a point about not being listened to when it comes to your weird and reckless dog giving decision, the timing’s well bad

Janis: You said you want her, how is it bad timing

Libi: All of our heads are fucked, why’d you bring another living creature into it?

Janis: because you can off-load to her as much as you like, it’s never fucking her head up, that’s why people have pets, it’s legit, not made that up myself

Libi: Seeing her every day means avoiding him as much, and probably his missus, as he calls her

Libi: what good she’ll do for my mental health, that’ll cancel out

Janis: He’s just parroting, I’m sure it’s not that real

Libi: She’s blonde too, btw

Janis: I’ve had a look, from a bottle 🐭

Libi: He had the fucking audacity to tell me she’s been helping him

Libi: What with? His Casey impression? Losing his virginity?

Janis: Nice, if true

Janis: I’m not wholly convinced either

Libi: There’s no chance he’s having deep and meaningfuls with her, before today or after, I wish he would, even if it has to be with China, I hate this

Janis: I know, I wish he would talk to someone, he needs to

Libi: 🤞 doctor’ll refer me at least, feel like I’ve lost the plot whenever I talk to him

Janis: he’s purposefully keeping you on that different page, for his sake, he doesn’t want you to get it

Libi: I know, but knowing doesn’t make it any less shit while it’s happening

Janis: nah, of course it don’t

Libi: I’m tired, I’m gonna go to bed

Janis: Are you on the sofa? Grab the nice blankets from [wherever they are, hidden from general slobby use and dogs]

Libi: Not a good idea, as she’s here, might as well grab my dog from out of her crate to sleep with me

Janis: As good an idea

Janis: and we’re talking to your school soon, you won’t have to be around him, should that still be something you’re not about, alright

Libi: Can you talk to them about getting China moved to a different school, preferably miles away in the far far north of the country?

Janis: Well, I’ll have to be thinking on a good enough reason to get them on side

Libi: I’ll sleep on it, slut shaming her sadly isn’t a good enough reason

Janis: He’s nearly half a year younger than you, remember

Janis: I’m sure she isn’t being a slut anywhere near him, really

Libi: I’m sure she is, he’s tall, nobody remembers that

Janis: No one has ever gone as far as they claim, at your age, trust me

Janis: Take my word for that one thing

Libi: I used my birthday wish before realising the slags of my year needed to factor in, I don’t have a choice really

Janis: I’ll see if he’ll talk to Jim, subtly

Janis: it happens, I should think he remembers how to handle himself around girls but a refresher can’t hurt

Libi: He should talk to Case but we all know that’ll never happen

Janis: Didn’t suggest it for that reason

Janis: I’ve said to Jimmy countless times that either of us will be a verbal punching bag but there it is

Libi: Jim’d always rather be it

Janis: yeah

Janis: but they should talk anyway, let him say some of the things he needs to, maybe things will get better with the rest of yous

Libi: Is he back under your thumb how Bobby reckons? Be honest

Janis: No, of course not, not that that’s how I’d ever have described it, personally

Janis: we’re trying to work together, that’s all

Libi: Okay, that’s what I hoped

Janis: We want more time like today again, including Bobby, ideally but not until he’s calmed down some

Libi: He doesn’t think it’ll ever work, he thinks I’m stupid

Janis: He doesn’t want it to at the minute, I didn’t expect any different

Janis: Jimmy and him have a special kind of bond, like, and I betrayed Jim

Janis: he’s protecting him now the only way he knows how, letting it be known how he feels, it’s okay

Libi: So do me and you, I expected him to get why I can’t just cut you out and hate you, he don’t have to like it, but 

Janis: He’s definitely being a little unfair to you, don’t get me wrong

Janis: we’re all fucked in the head by it, like you said, none of us are gonna ace every part of it

Libi: I failed every part earlier, Christ, it was a mess

Janis: You were pretty much in shock

Libi: We’re done, I said, and I’m standing by it

Libi: I can’t keep doing this with him how it is, especially not with her there watching him make me look a twat too from here on

Janis: I’d say that’s a good shout for now, definitely

Janis: focus on yourself, your other friends, we’ll be making sure he’s good, at school and in the important ways, so try not to worry about him at all for a while

Libi: 🤝 I’ll do my best

Janis: All you gotta do 🤞🤝

Libi: Tah again for the parts of my birthday you had some control over

Janis: I know it ain’t gonna make the shortlist of best evers but, hope it was alright

Libi: It ain’t your fault it won’t, you properly did your best

Janis: don’t mention it, part of my job, like

Libi: Needs mentioning when I’ve been such a bitch

Libi: I’m sorry it’s a hard job

Janis: You’re owed some bad behaviour, if we can set the limit at getting us evicted though, yeah, I would appreciate that

Janis: I’m not, whatever I may have said when I was not quite reaching my best

Libi: I love you and whatever Bobby says if I turned out like you I’d only be 🤏 gutted

Janis: the 🤏 is so warranted

Janis: I love you an’ all and you know who that is, however lost you’re feeling right this second

Libi: I thought I was about to die, seriously, not in a Grace way

Libi: and I can’t hack him having that much power over me when I can’t trust him anymore

Janis: I know what you mean, it’s terrifying 

Libi: I need another birthday wish

Janis: I’d offer mine but I’m not sure you can borrow that far in advance

Libi: If I’m still feeling the same by then, there’d not be enough hope in more candles than all our birthdays combined, be none

Janis: feels like a very current Bobby move to point out that there’ll be another birthday added to the list by then

Janis: but technically there are no candles so guess the number of wishes stays the same

Libi: It’s okay, I’m not him, you don’t have to keep it off limits as a taboo subject

Janis: It still seems long enough away not to need to push it

Libi: I guess it is, but I’m used to thinking so far ahead when everyone else is asleep

Janis: right now that’s my fault, keeping you when you said you were tired

Libi: I just don’t know what to say to anybody… I feel ridiculous and embarrassed and gross and sad and too thick to be allowed to open my mouth

Janis: oh Libs

Janis: I’ve seen you at your most embarrassing, you can’t top the baby years, nothing you say or do is going to shock us

Libi: Rude, those were my best years…

Libi: she knew who she was, who the fuck am I now?

Libi: maybe he’s right that I’m suffocating, cos I don’t remember how to have a life, make friends, do things

Janis: You do, you know people who aren’t Bobby, just none of them figure as important, you can do it

Libi: It’s really unfair I can’t go back and need to go forward

Janis: tell me about it, girl

Janis: It’ll get easier and feel less strange, the longer you’re there, swear

Libi: Why won’t he just 

Janis: I don’t know, I wish I could tell you

Libi: I don’t want it to get easier for him or for me, not in that sense

Libi: to leave each other behind and tell ourselves it’s good, that we belong in the past

Janis: You’ll have a future, it’ll be different but they aren’t going anywhere, he will have to accept that

Libi: But he’s going places I’ll never reach him

Janis: you have to trust he will come back

Libi: I’m not sure he will

Janis: you can’t be, if you could, you’d have no problem

Libi: I used to have a feeling always, intuition or whatever about almost everything 🔮

Janis: boys fuck that up

Libi: Yeah

Janis: Not that I can say boys at my big age, sound like I’m trying to be too relatable and cringe about it

Libi: To be fair, saying men to me at my age’d be weird and sound like you want me to give up and get in Mr Lucas’ boot

Janis: Sincerely hope he’s about when we go down for our meeting 🙏👊

Janis: just like old times

Libi: A light in a dark time, we’d all be cheered up slightly

Janis: bit gutting to include him in that but 😬 once a weirdo always a weirdo, him

Libi: If I get another detention I’ll not go, like you said

Janis: don’t, however tempting the peace and quiet of a boot might seem at the time, been there, not worth it

Libi: I was angry at you, but something’s gotta give with him and her added high on the list, it’s too much rage otherwise, I don’t think I have it in me

Janis: Prioritize, yeah, sensible

Libi: Besides, you did bribe me with a very cute puppy to stop

Janis: I mean, yeah

Janis: pretty top if entirely unreasonable gift

Libi: She’s top, even though the day itself ended up much lower down cos of the near death experience and everything

Janis: you and your shit lungs

Libi: And it wasn’t even what I’d class as a top near death experience, I didn’t hear mum and dad calling to me or nothing

Janis: you was probably still miles away from the bright light, drama queen

Janis: would shit you up if they started screaming

Libi: I’d have a job to hear anything over Jim trying to talk me down off the ledge as if I was trying to kill myself, but he should honestly work for the Samaritans, it was comforting 

Janis: Can’t decide if that would give him a sense of purpose or give him ideas, as a hobby goes

Janis: he can be comforting though, always has been

Libi: So was you though, and from what I remember after the party as well

Janis: Can’t pretend there’s a 1 before my age, kicking off would’ve felt great but you know

Libi: You’re always there, like mum, I didn’t ever need to reach for her, she was just so close to me all the time knowing what I wanted

Libi: you have to reach too far for some people and it doesn’t mean they’ll end up with a clue what you want

Janis: She was a good mum, even though she was that young

Janis: maybe because, it’s all she wanted at the time

Libi: You were good too, even though you were that young and you didn’t ask to be my mum

Janis: Telling you to shut up goes against telling you you’re not embarrassing or gross and whatever but

Janis: dunno what my new hormones are capable of yet

Libi: It’s okay, my hormones are taking the piss lately too

Janis: Being a girl does, big time

Janis: can’t be crying in the tescos like a mental person here, Christ

Libi: Why are you in Tescos when I’m spilling my guts here? Bit rude

Janis: We ran out of [basic household necessities], soz, I haven’t broadcast it over the tannoy, like

Libi: Oh no, I’m deprived of their advice in aisle 5, could’ve been perfect insight into my messy life

Janis: All the 👩‍🦳👩‍🦳s that reckon they know it all, like they weren’t tucked away in a laundry or whatever the fuck 

Libi: China’d deffo get put in one for being a temptress, they were still about

Janis: Church can’t even do you that favour, honestly 🙄

Libi: Finding faith as a hobby goes, to fill the void, unlikely, sure Jesus would be my new best friend, but at what cost?

Janis: Personality? Body weight? Ask Ro

Libi: He’d fancy that I washed Bobby’s missus’ feet or something, at least sat down and had dinner with her, I’m alright for all of it

Janis: 🤣 fuck’s sake

Janis: fairness, kid stood no chance, they’re all like that

Libi: I’d pray she cheats on him same as her last boyfriend

Janis: Bob knows about that, yeah?

Libi: The whole year does, he weren’t bothered by the smaller dramas but I’d not leave him out of the loop on anything that big

Janis: Just checking

Janis: definitely not serious, if that’s her rep

Libi: Their mum has cheated on every man she’s ever been with America said, with a margin for how often she lies, the truth must still be loads of times

Janis: Wouldn’t surprise me, Asia was the worst of that little bunch by a mile, which was saying something

Libi: Like, I’m aware of the irony of us talking about this right now, but 

Janis: Alright, maybe not the best two but only two, nevertheless

Janis: I could run a pissing laundry, those numbers

Libi: I’m temporarily missing you off my hit list, lucky for you

Janis: Aisle 5’ll have worse to say, don’t you worry

Libi: The whole year might have shit to say to me when I go back, they all think he’s my boyfriend, meaning they’ll reckon I was dumped for her

Janis: What’s your plan for it?

Libi: I don’t have one yet

Janis: You’ve got the time your appointment gives you

Libi: Thankfully, I’ve no ideas at the minute

Janis: Let them clarify, I bet they will

Libi: Gross, I could win money putting a bet on how I know they will

Janis: Not the first or the last to utilize it, even I can’t take credit

Libi: Cliche for a reason, exactly

Janis: Effective for him, if people are finally paying attention

Libi: I’m genuinely off to bed now, we’re at my limit

Janis: Alright, give Peach some love from us

Libi: [a pic illustrating that she is]

Libi: Goodnight

Janis: Nanight

Janis: Have you checked Insta?

Jimmy: [potentially after a pause because he might be asleep/getting ready for bed but obvs before Bobby has loudly bowled back in either with or without this gal lol cos never knows how loud he is]

Jimmy: Fuck’s sake, what’s gone on now?

Janis: Not necessarily fuck’s sake level but Bobby has some news he’s shared with his feed but not us

Janis: well, I don’t think you know?

Jimmy: Be why Libs went poorly

Jimmy: hang on, I’ll have a look

Janis: I’ve spoken to her about all that, think it made her feel 🤏 better but

Janis: told her she can’t be pulling stunts like that over him, to sort herself out, like

Jimmy: Do we know that lass from somewhere?

Janis: Asia’s kid sister, the one in their year

Jimmy: She were Mary, ‘course

Janis: 🐑 upgrade, well done, kid

Jimmy: Little dickhead back then, her, but 🤞

Janis: Apparently not now, according to him

Janis: Libi is obviously not on the same team about that but she has reason

Jimmy: Long as her and her 🦷🦷 are behaving nowadays, no need for us both to have same reaction as the birthday girl about it

Janis: nah, just didn’t want them randomly showing up and making you wonder what year it is

Janis: clearly shock was the reaction he was going for so I’ll get ahead of him just to be a dick

Jimmy: He’s not in yet, be waiting up for him now I’ve heard to find out how far he’s reckoning he’ll push it with her sleeping on the settee tonight

Janis: I know what we’d have done but

Janis: he isn’t us, who can say

Jimmy: Can say what I’d still put my money on

Janis: yeah, sorry if this woke you but I remember how he enters a room so

Jimmy: You’re alright, and a mate for the heads up he weren’t fancying chucking us

Janis: hitting the teen years with a vengeance now 😈👿

Jimmy: Be about right, far as pisstaking timing and bollocks I could do without goes

Janis: 😈👿 advocate, he reckons this a top distraction for you?

Janis: see the logic, teenage boy logic but nevertheless

Jimmy: Top fuck you for not packing up the car on his say so, more like, and the rest

Janis: none of us best speak to this girl, get such a complex

Janis: Libs is convinced it’s all about her too

Jimmy: See her logic, teenage lass based or nah, today of all days he’s posting he’s got himself a new missus

Jimmy: convenient coincidence if it were, that

Janis: alright, marple 😏

Janis: ‘course he’s buzzing that none of us will be hugely

Janis: but maybe he does just fancy her as his own distraction as well

Jimmy: I get it, whenever he don’t fancy a chat he can tell her his phone’s dead

Janis: exactly, you wish you could’ve got me to fuck off that easily

Jimmy: Never did commit to the fake deafness hard enough, too much to juggle without the rumour about us being famous off [whatever hollyoaks style teen soap people reckoned he was in back in the day when he first arrived] being for real

Janis: if only they knew how so-so your acting was, yeah

Jimmy: Save it for when they’re back and I have to play the role of disappointed dad over our kid treating the place like an hotel

Janis: cue sighing as you wipe up an imaginary spill on the counter with your tea towel, see it now

Janis: but you’re more likely to need to hold Libs back, she’s being a right cow about her, like

Jimmy: Soz to her I can’t help being a bit chuffed he’s getting himself out there, pissing about and lasses off how a normal lad his age would do, weren’t reckoning there’d come a day at one point

Janis: I know, me too, not that you heard that from us

Janis: after she’s had her time to be devvo about it, hopefully she’ll do the same

Jimmy: She were you, she’d do the same tomorrow ready or not, ‘cause she’s gutted

Janis: 🙄 Christ, what an embarrassing age

Jimmy: Watching this space for some dickhead lad at the door an’ all before the happy couple have had a minute

Janis: looking like a long lost relative, undoubtedly

Jimmy: ✔️

Janis: Unless you’re hoping she’s not quite that much like me, as we all should be

Jimmy: You might be, but I’ll live if she turns out to be owt like you, her an’ all

Janis: Yeah, you’re definitely half-asleep still, being this nice

Jimmy: There’s something to hope for, be knackered for work tomorrow this rate

Janis: Have we ever had to discuss a curfew with them? 🤔 What’s standard?

Jimmy: What kind of question’s that?

Jimmy: pair of ‘em didn’t used to be off nowhere but [a cinema they like and some food places they like, that kinda thing]

Janis: I’m not going on mumsnet, more your crowd, go on and get your flirt on for advice

Jimmy: Tah for that heads up an’ all then, it’s a good shout and I will do

Janis: Any time, mate

Jimmy: 👍

Jimmy: be needing to sit him down and discuss all sorts else, won’t I?

Janis: Potentially, but like, he probably knows, right

Janis: I knew at that age

Jimmy: Probably ain’t he 100% does do, though, is it?

Janis: Yeah, you’re right, got to be responsible

Jimmy: And I’ll have to leg it down the school to have a go about nobody giving us a ring back and put a rush on them lot sorting something, she can’t sign for him this new lass, bloody hell

Janis: Just tell me what day/lunch break/whatever you can and I’ll be there

Janis: they’ll have to give him their presentation printouts and handwritten instructions in the meantime, let them struggle with that before they can’t deal any longer

Jimmy: No choice but to fit it in soon as, sound of how fuming Libi is, what she’d be signing to him in lessons won’t help him pass no exams

Janis: It’s always been a bullshit ‘solution’, they can finally do their jobs, we’ll get it sorted

Jimmy: I let it go on as there were no stopping her but

Janis: We did

Janis: and when he was a little kid, Ian would’ve had to hire someone, you couldn’t

Janis: he’s done alright, but now he needs someone proper, can’t rely on her

Jimmy: She were you she wouldn’t be about to rely on, I should probably check the settee ain’t just a pile of blankets, like

Janis: I stayed for ages, you were snoring like a pig with Peach doing the same, tah very much

Jimmy: Can’t be doing a full blown runner with her lungs any road, end up in the hospital not the train station

Janis: She won’t, it’s not her style

Jimmy: Dunno how much comfort that is, lying here waiting to find out what her style might be

Janis: You know, if anything she don’t know when to leave him alone, stop trying

Jimmy: Make you feel better? It don’t me

Janis: Not really

Janis: but I know we can’t get in the middle of it

Janis: if it’s a lover’s tiff, which is how it feels to her, we can’t treat it like a family affair, fuck up their heads

Jimmy: Right you are, mate

Janis: Do you not agree?

Janis: don’t have to, I’m hardly an expert

Jimmy: What about how I said it makes you reckon I don’t?

Janis: I dunno, the ambiguity of a 👍 energy, genuine or sarky?

Jimmy: Come on, you can trust yourself this far with knowing what you’re on about

Janis: Can I?

Janis: still just feels like I’m making it up as we go along

Jimmy: Might be how it always feels, as we’re so used to it, don’t mean you’ve no common sense

Janis: think you’re doing alright too, as it goes

Jimmy: I’m trying, don’t seem it to our kid, but there we go

Janis: His way or the highway, like you said, nothing but is what he wants to hear

Janis: he’ll grow out of it

Jimmy: 50/50 chance

Jimmy: less Ian’s included

Janis: don’t reckon it’s as simple as all that anyway

Jimmy: Nor me, nowt’s ever as simple as all that

Janis: If only, eh

Jimmy: If only, girl

Janis: Now we really sound about 100

Jimmy: First time for everything

Janis: S’a new you, for sure

Jimmy: Wouldn’t put it past her to use her candles, state of the old me, be why

Janis: I don’t need 3 guesses to know at best you were cheekily tacked on the end

Jimmy: Went well for her, poor cow

Janis: know it’s our fault but

Janis: it’s not healthy, how they were

Jimmy: 🤏 our fault for being such bad role models, but nah, you’re bang on again, something had to give for them as well as us

Janis: guess so

Jimmy: They’ll both end up having some space, however heavy handed he went about it don’t change the fact needed doing

Janis: There were no way else to go about it, drifting apart weren’t on the horizon, she’ll get it, once she’s there too

Jimmy: I don’t doubt she’ll never be on about saying tah to him or this lass for it but still it’ll do them both a favour, long run

Janis: She don’t need to, if that were what he were after, be the worrying thing

Janis: but it’s not

Jimmy: Obvious what he’s after, like you said before

Janis: feel like everything just makes me sad these days, even good things

Jimmy: Know the feeling, my dear

Janis: Fuck sake, how do we stop

Jimmy: Knew that I’d cancel my doctor’s appointment and crack on telling him to sod his happy pills

Janis: Why?

Jimmy: What?

Janis: I don’t even fucking know

Janis: just that we should all be heavily medicated so I won’t be long after you, I reckon

Jimmy: His and hers

Jimmy: don’t sound so bad to me put like that

Janis: you said it was BFF matching only from now on

Jimmy: Did I? Mates rates then, bound to have a group discount

Janis: Wow, you’ve already forgot about being matching heads in jars, some mate 🎻

Jimmy: Something about how you look covered in paint makes it hard to remember owt else, takes us right back to my 🎨 homework

Janis: Traumatic memories of bowl cuts and thick-rimmed glasses, yeah, what a time it was

Jimmy: Tah for reminding us an’ all to hide the scissors before Libi cuts herself a DIY 💔 fringe

Janis: 😱😱😱

Janis: remember when she cut their hair, looked like they had mange 

Jimmy: Be dead awkward if she reckoned there were a career in it for her

Janis: I SHOULD make her do her work experience at the salon, you’re right 😏

Jimmy: Nowt else she can be mates with the blue rinse brigade, always with your nan, be well in off the practice

Janis: I’ll float the idea, as she reckons she has no idea how to make any mates

Jimmy: I dunno if it’ll cheer her but it will me, chuffed to bits at the idea of them lot gatecrashing of a night

Janis: should’ve never stopped being a barista boy, you

Janis: not enough old ladies in [whatever it is exactly Jimothy does]

Jimmy: Advertisers missing a trick, what could be fitter than a blue rinse? And you watch it catch on when Libs has one to keep up with her new mates

Janis: So a fringe’s a no go but you’re alright with that? 😂

Jimmy: DIY’s the no go, be rough at school for a bit as is without the target on her forehead showing through her uneven fringe for every dickhead

Janis: She can handle herself, she’ll surprise herself with it

Janis: the shit people have to say is never as 🎯 as they wanna believe/you worry about when you’re first the target, like

Jimmy: Dagenham or whatever her bloody name is might take after her big sister far as 🧠’s go, no worries there then

Janis: Fucking names and 🦷🦷 alone are all the ammunition she needs for a clap back so

Jimmy: What is her name before she shows up here? Tokyo? 

Janis: You’re killing me

Janis: China, think Asia but smaller, should get you to remember

Jimmy: Fucking hell Suze, you outdid yourself with that one, love

Janis: galaxy 🧠 behaviour

Janis: she should’ve kept to her continent theme and kept going but 

Jimmy: I’d be beyond keen to see the dad she picked out for Africa

Janis: I’d not ‘cos it’d be mine and I want less than this much to do with them again, nevermind DNA shared, tah

Jimmy: Dunno about that, keeps us on our toes does Suze, more than likely be someone from Tokyo

Janis: Could be you if you’re that keen

Jimmy: Have her ‘round for a little chat about Romeo and Juliet the next generation, see where we end up

Janis: Well she combined North and South America into one kid so that’s less hassle for you

Jimmy: The kid I’m having with her ain’t called Antarctica, I don’t want it, send it there out my sight

Janis: 🐧❄️☃️

Jimmy: Suits how frosty the reception’ll be morning after

Janis: Poor Suze

Jimmy: Oi, from her, always charming, me

Janis: Oh, I thought you were gonna crack on trying a new bad boy thing like Bob

Jimmy: She don’t let ‘em hang about what I’ve heard, gotta prepare myself 🩹

Janis: You’ll be grand, boy

Janis: stand around too long, she’ll cover you over in crushed velvet

Jimmy: *leopard print

Jimmy: which I’d look well fit in

Janis: try your luck then

Jimmy: 👌 

Janis: 🐆 camo or nah, still be able to find you

Jimmy: Good, be gutted to lose you

Janis: Swear?

Janis: ‘cos the freezer aisle is feeling a little too 🥶 now

Jimmy: Only on my life which ain’t worth loads at the minute, but

Janis: it is to me

Janis: priceless like a 🏺 yeah

Jimmy: There you go then, I swear

Janis: Good 😁

Jimmy: 😁☀️

Jimmy: ‘til I hear the door go at least and it’s either him or them pair both

Janis: Bit full on, which he deserves the embarrassment but you don’t the Lucas rep of it all

Janis: save your 😁☀️ for decorating really bad cakes

Jimmy: *for you

Janis: yeah but made me sound a bit full on myself, or full of, nothing new there

Jimmy: Saved you from it, you’re alright

Janis: Tah 🦸‍♂️

Jimmy: Fancy seeing me in tights again, I get it, been too long for all of us

Janis: Only fair, you got a paint-covered throwback

Jimmy: Weren’t fair, I’m still thinking about it

Janis: did kill the mood a 🤏 with her asthma attack, were having a good time

Jimmy: Yeah, but I’ll leave it out chucking loads of guilt over him sec he walks in, however much I want to right now 

Janis: I know, gotta resist the urge, couldn’t have known she’d stop breathing about it, however much he fancied pissing her off with his own stunt

Jimmy: Best behaviour or I can’t have a go at him for being a dickhead and we can’t have that

Janis: Someone does need to have a word, yeah

Jimmy: That’ll be me, nobody else’s job, they’d not hack it now he’s 😈👿

Janis: I could

Jimmy: It’d go nowhere good if you did do

Janis: I still think he might act like less of a 😈👿 to the rest of you if he could have it out with us but

Janis: it is ultimately up to you

Jimmy: I can’t stop him if that’s what he really wants, knows where your inbox is, up to him, that

Janis: True, he hasn’t tried so maybe he isn’t interested in taking it out on me

Jimmy: Don’t reckon he’ll be interested in sod all else now he’s got a continent for a missus, dodged that bullet, you

Janis: I’d say phew but

Jimmy: You’d rather be hit by it, I know

Janis: I still deserve it

Jimmy: I ain’t gonna give you the answer you’re after hearing and tell you yeah you do

Janis: I know you won’t, I know you

Jimmy: But you can have it for that, yeah you do

Janis: when it felt like I didn’t anymore, that we were strangers

Janis: that was the hardest, harder than now, for me

Jimmy: I’d know you anywhere

Janis: I see you now, just lost, for a while

Jimmy: Piss easy for me, always has been

Janis: shouldn’t let you wander, like

Jimmy: Don’t, keep us close

Jimmy: who knows where I’ll be else

Janis: I have to, I can’t imagine you anywhere else

Jimmy: Nor me

Janis: I’d have had to get on the tracks if you’d run away when he wanted

Janis: not to be dramatic or anything but

Jimmy: It weren’t ever even a might do

Janis: I can’t lose you

Jimmy: You

Jimmy: I need you

Janis: I need you, always will

[elysianslove]

haikyuu boys that ━━

━━ would absolutely, definitely, 100% get nauseous, dizzy, possibly might faint, while their s/o is in labor. one peak and they’re doubling over the hospital bed, inhaling deeply and exhaling sharply, steeling themselves. some are surprising, some are expected. all are stupid.

iwaizumi hajime; he just cannot. he cannot fathom what is happening. there is no way you’re going through that and surviving. no wonder you’re screaming in pain. of course you’re screaming in pain. he takes one look at what’s going on and just immediately takes a step back, eyebrows raised and hand pressed to his chest like “my god.” he’s an 8/10 though because he is incredibly supportive and those arms are great to grab onto. will not complain for a second (is strangely way too quiet), but he’s worryingly pale. maybe he’s quiet cause if he speaks he’ll throw up. 

miya atsumu; he’s this close to screaming. or crying. possibly both. he can’t tell if he’s scared in general or scared for you or if he’s hurting seeing you hurting. in fact, no one can tell. he just looks like he’s watching an alien abduction happen right before his eyes. like a 6/10 because he probably does actually faint. it’s almost as if he’s the one in labor. and he’s the annoying kind of supportive that makes you want to smack him like shut the fuck up i’m pushing a whole child out of me right now. but his reactions are extremely endearing and hilarious to watch back because he most definitely insisted on filming. 

akaashi keiji; the silent struggler. really doesn’t wanna make it obvious at all. like he really, really, really doesn’t want you knowing that he’s uncomfortable in any way, but he’s like, sweating from how nauseous he is. a big part of it is hating seeing you in pain; he cringes every time you so much as groan or pant. 7/10 because he’s incredibly supportive but his hands are way too clammy :/ like fr get a grip keiji. again, supportive, but his voice is shaky so it’s like, really ineffective. he cries when he sees his baby and it automatically makes him an 11/10.

sakusa kiyoomi; absolute coward. pussy. it’s not about hygiene, he’s just genuinely mortified. keeps asking you’re okay like,,, what do you think, sir? he keeps looking even though every time he does it doesn’t get any better? question mark? you can see him visibly gulping cause he’s in so much shock. like a 5/10 because he forgets to hold your hand. just stands there. eyes wide and mouth parted like a dumb fish. chokes back on his sobs when he hears his baby’s cries and it’s adorable how he brings his hand up to silence himself so maybe he’s a 7/10.

goshiki tsutomu; please he probably has a panic attack mid labor. definitely screams with you and all the nurses and the doctor are like ???? holds your hand tighter than you’re holding his. apologizes the whole time. the whole time. like the doctor asked him if he wants to see what’s happening, which idk why they would consider that a smart idea, and he just wailed like, “baby i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry, can we just adopt?” a 3/10. he’s so cute but. bring someone else if you don’t want to rip your hair out and his. 

kageyama tobio; he absolutely tries to pretend that he’s okay but he just gets really, really quiet once you start delivering and his lips are chapped and his pupils are blown and his face is so pale. he looks like he just got off of a really bad rollercoaster. he’s not even holding your hand you’re just hanging onto an unmoving, lifeless limb. maybe 6/10, cause he could be better in the supportive department but, at least he was quietly panicking. he does have a mini panic attack once his baby is in his arms though. like just starts hyperventilating. it’s okay though! it’s actually kind of cute <3

lev haiba; actually faints. not probably. he actually faints. like all 6′5 of him just drops onto the floor by your bed and you’re like ,,, damn, guess i’m doing this alone then. he wakes up and the first thing he sees is your baby crowning and he just faints again pls. someone has to be there with you, just like to help him to you. he cannot stand straight at all, he’s leaning on the bed the whole time. 5/10 because it genuinely makes you laugh it kind of makes the pain bearable. they have to get a chair in case he just falls back cause he’s just so dizzy pls.

━━ would be so fucking annoying. who the hell let them in this room? why did you agree to this? how are you going to raise a child with them? regrets. so many regrets. 

tanaka ryūnosuke; he’s like annoyingly scared. shut up and calm down for a minute i’m trying to birth your child here. swears so much like “holy shit holy shit that’s a big baby.” like pls you’re trying to push it out of you and he has the audacity to say shit like that? treats it like it’s some sort of volleyball match like he cheers whenever the doctor praises you. maybe a 5/10 cause he’s just annoying, but it’s motivating in a way. accepts any insult you throw at him too, like he’s so on board with it. “yes, i’m absolutely a piece of shit— what do you mean you’re not getting anywhere near my dick babe wait.”

bokuto kōtarō; listen :( you don’t want to think he’s annoying but he lowkey is. he’s trying his hardest to make this an easier experience for you but you just need him to be a little quieter. like this hurts bo, calm down please. you want to match his energy but it’s literally physically impossible. he’s an 8/10 though because you doubt it’d have been possible to go through it without him. bokuto’s incredibly ripped too so he lets you hang onto him and he holds you tightly too, like grips your hands and legs so strong that it’s v physically supportive too. 

kozume kenma; he’s so. quiet. like say something kozume. say anything. he’s just wincing and cringing. 4/10 cause where’s the emotion. lets you hold his hand, like wow you should be honored. insults you back if you insult him???? like what’s that about???? when he sees his baby he does like, sharply intake a breath or whatever cause he doesn’t want to cry but he’s really struggling not to, which is kind of cute you guess. films the whole thing and does like a peace sign with a very nonchalant face but he has a filter on and the filter scans your face too except you’re like screaming. actually a 3/10. 

sugawara kōshi; he’s incredibly supportive yes, but mans will be laughing at you. laughing. at you. probably films you and is like properly giggling and laughing boisterously. is so unfazed by anything and everything he sees. he would so easily be a 10/10 but he becomes a -1/10 just cause he’s an ass. definitely like is breathless and is so mind-blown when he sees his baby. just in awe and in shock that he laughs like, “we made that holy crap.” good to have in the delivery room because he does make the atmosphere easier and more lighthearted, but,,, at what cost? your sanity’s. 

suna rintarō; the amount of times you wanted to punch him you cannot count on your ten fingers. makes some sex joke about how you’re so stretched out. you literally want to deck him. films the birthing process and makes you watch the video when you’re not even done delivering the baby? cause he’s insane i guess? justifies it as “this is a reminder of how strong you are,” like shut up with your bullshit. it’s kinda smart tho cause you can pull this on your kid later but still. he’s so fucking annoying. if you hold his hand too hard he’ll be like “it can’t be that bad stop being such a baby,” and the baby is delivered like an hour early out of spite. a 6/10 tho cause somehow you love him and decided to have a baby with him. 

ushijima wakatoshi; pt.2 to say fucking something??? he’s mostly quiet cause he doesn’t really know what to say, and cause he’s never seen you in this much pain and it’s kind of shocking him. he’s not scared though, cause it’s like, a natural process of human life and the life cycle and all that stuff, he’s just like. taking time to process it. lets you hold his hand though. also if you wanna like give up halfway through he’s annoyingly angry with you like “no. you can’t just give up halfway. stop being a coward.” like why don’t you give it a try toshi??? a 5/10. could do better. 

terushima yuuji; so hyperactive that it’s infuriating. doesn’t even hold your hand, he just stands back and observes and like cheers. literally will jump every time you push, like what the fuck, my love? makes really weird comments like “what does it feel like? does it feel like you’re pooping?” like???? it feels like i’m being torn in half yu :D a 4/10 only cause when you ask if you can slap him he wholeheartedly agrees and the doctor cannot hold their laugh back. also definitely plays like the chika dance and makes the nurses do it with him. probably films a tiktok too. you’re going to kill him after. 

oikawa tōru; he’s trying so hard to be supportive and your backbone but he’s just so jittery and nervous. he’s not going to faint or get nauseous, but he literally cannot stay still. he’s so anxious it’s making you anxious. his hands are shaking when they grip yours, but honestly, completely unbiased of course, an 8/10, cause it really is so endearing. like he’s breathlessly and exasperatingly praising you and you can tell he’s near tears just gasping back sobs so ,,, maybe he’s not that annoying. but he is. he is annoying. a little. 

━━ would be the best of the best. perfectly supportive. a lovely anchor. not too quiet, not too chatty. is so soft and gentle with you. you fall in love with them all over again. 

miya osamu; definitely a 10/10. husband material. he has a cloth that’s just patting away at your sweat. kisses your hand and knuckles. soothingly rubs at your thighs. tells you you’re doing great, that it’ll all be worth it. kisses your forehead. grins at you halfway through when you need that extra motivation. literally all the nurses and the doctor are swooning over him. he’s very nervous deep down but he won’t show it, not for a moment, for your sake. 10/10. can’t stress this enough. 

kita shinsuke; another king! so soft with you when you feel like giving up. just speaks to you in hushed tones like, “you’ve come this far, lovely. you can’t back out now. think of all the happy moments we’ll get to share just a few hours from now.” and you’re like “alright i’m sold.” completely unfazed by anything he sees. okay maybe a little fazed but he just kisses your forehead after sneaking a peak and tells you you’re doing wonderfully. 100000/10. imagine him as the father of your children???? like literally who else would you want????

aran ojiro; wow another inarizaki i sense a trend. except atsumu he’s a pussy. cheers you on quietly, holds onto your legs, breathes with you, smooths your hair back, literally just an angel. if you take a small break he just spends it quietly talking with you to get your mind off the pain. his knuckles are just caressing your jaw and cheek softly till you’ve calmed down. 10/10 obviously. he’s just the right amount of loud supportive and quiet supportive. kisses you full on the mouth when he first hears his baby’s cries and can’t stop thanking you. literally wtf he’s so cute.

kuroo tetsurō; he’s actually surprisingly very serious when you’re delivering the baby. he’s cracking jokes and all before to try and get you less nervous but it’s actually because he’s freaking out. he’s mostly quiet, just holding onto your hand as tightly as you’re gripping his. he holds his breath every time you push. keeps whispering i love you and pressing kisses to your temple. a 9/10 cause he’s so quiet it’s a little scary but he cannot hold back his tears when he sees his baby. kisses you all over your face after. 

satori tendō; very emotional. like so emotional. he’s teary eyed the whole time, just thanking you even if you hadn’t given birth yet. it makes the nurses cry too cause it’s so lovely to see him get so visibly affected by this. he’s just whispering thank you’s and i promise not to let you down ever and i promise to love you forever and you’re pretty sure he’s speaking to the baby you’re birthing at this point. 9/10 cause he made you cry :( no but really he’s a 10/10. super loving, keeps asking you if you’re okay, if you need water, need to hold his hand, anything. angel, fr. 

matsukawa issei; relatively surprising as well because you expected him to be more than just annoying, but he’s just. in awe. he’s so amazed by how much you’re going through, and he just stores it in the back of his brain. literally thanks you for the next 50 years to come. laughs endearingly with you to lighten the mood. 9/10. a point is deducted because he jokingly said that now you’ll be able to take his dick really easily. a nurse choked in shock pls. gets real close after to whisper i love you so that only you can hear. he’s just a dream <3

━━ would not let you move an inch after giving birth. all the work is on them for the next 5 years. 

all of them. not a single one is left out in this one. they’re annoying but ,,, they all love very strongly <3

end note; listen idk what this is. i had a vision where iwaizumi could not handle his s/o giving birth and the thought was actually so sweet to me, just the nurses laughing at him and he’s just breathing deeply to try and not throw up and then. this happened. anyways. this helped put me in a better mood so i hope it does/did for anyone else too! 

[azucanela]

Dating korra would include

BEING KORRA’S S/O[GENDER NEUTRAL]

BEING ZUKO’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O

SUMMARY: life with korra from confession to marriage

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

WARNINGS: no major spoilers 

A/N: SOMEONE WITH T A S T E, i hope you don’t mind but i kinda just did the same thing i did for my zuko headcannons so feel free to scroll straight to the during the relationship bit if you just want dating korra h/c :D 

also i have 300 followers now what, i literally had 200 like yesterday hi everyone <3 um i really need to start pulling out all the stops

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

she’s a simp.

that’s it. thats the headcannon. she has literally liked you since she met you and has said nothing, but you probably know since she’s so damn OBVIOUS ABOUT IT

korra is very in tuned with her emotions so when she realizes she likes you she’s pretty okay with it, a little more flustered during your interactions, but after a while her goal is to make you feel how she feel which is flustered.

she has no shame though, she knows she is hot and she wants you to know she thinks you are hot

lots of flirting on her end, so naturally you kinda begin to think she is joking and think nothing of it

this was not her intent, and now that you are desensitized to her flirting and not reacting flustered like you did when she first started she is frustrated™

you were not understanding that she very much likes you

stupid

she hasn’t said anything outright to you about it though, which is the main reason you are like lol this is a joke, my crush fake flirts with me i am okay

spoiler alert: you are not okay with this it hurts ow

so now shes getting ridiculously affectionate with you, which, tbh, she always was, but not its RIDICULOUS, korra is out here throwing an arm around your shoulder, randomly grabbing your hand, kissing your cheek

shes trying really hard to get her point across like really really hard

like painfully hard

if she likes you its probably because your fun, like you really spice up her life and introduce her to new things and go on really dumb adventures and really important missions with her and you put up with her and wow now korra is simping oops

you’re also probably forcing her to stay healthy, since i honestly think that despite having such an appetite, korra will forget to eat and take care of herself sometimes.

she is so bad at drinking water i swear to goD

there are two situations here

situation one is where korra finally realizes that you CANNOT READ SIGNALS AT ALL and decides she going to be upfront with you about her feelings

she’s either going to just flat out kiss you next time she sees you or spill all her emotions, of both in no particular order

you’re like reading in your room in the air temple, just vibing, and you see her coming towards you with a determined look on her face and you’re like ??? lol okay

you go back to reading only to have her hand reach under you jaw and she brings you into a kiss and now you’re like LOL OKAY

you honestly think that this is just another one of her stunts to get you flustered and means nothing

stoopid

and then she pulls apart and just starts spilling her feelings and you’re like :O omg me too 

and she’s like, “great, we’re dating now.” and suddenly she’s kissing you again, and between kisses you’re like, “im sorry what?”

“you heard me. do you have a problem with that?”

you just kiss her again

situation two is where you get sick of her and realize woah she may or may not be in love with you and so you confront her, and now there is a lot of yelling because you are frustrated™ and like screw you korra

you honestly think she is either madly in love with you and just doing this as a joke, and you genuinely think the latter is more like so you lowkey start crying and korra immediately begins to panic

she’s like, “why would i ever joke about that! i’ve literally been trying to get that through your thick skull this whole time!”

this time you kiss her first and korra is throwing a party in her head but she also feels really bad for making you cry oops

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

okay so korra happens to be very much a simp

and you happen to be very much the mom friend™ it doesn’t matter if you are a boy girl or none of the above, that is your trademark my friend

she’s very affectionate and now that the two of you are dating she is at a whole new level.

important meeting? you are in her lap she does not care. war meeting? she is cuddling you as you explain the plans of attack and DAMN DO YOU LOOK GOOD DOING it

since being the avatar is MUCH more a political position now though, she does try to keep your relationship slightly on the down low, even before you were dating, you both had reporters constantly asking about your relationship and she doesn’t really like that

they are nosy and she does not approve. korra understands wanting to know about her avatar duties, but anything outside of that in regards to her personal life annoys her

loves kissing you, and when she does it tends to be intense and passionate. after a particularly tough day though, her kisses can either be slow and sensual because she just wants to have a nice soft and domestic day with you

OR

they can be harsh and almost brutish, she will get rough with you because she is highkey pissed at everything that day and making out you with is her stress reliever

really likes cuddling and anything domestic in general. she’s really happy with you, and she kinda has all the love languages

she seeks validation when the press is particularly harsh since being the avatar is HARD and as much as she wants to, she cannot please anyone, so please tell her she is doing amazing

so many acts of service up in here, she will randomly do stuff for you, spontaneity is kinda her vibe ya know

very vocal and expressive about her feelings, communication is key with her

arguments aren’t a rarity tbh, but when they do happen they tend to be more of debates over little things like what’s better, pineapple pizza or no?

major fights tend to end poorly since she can be a little stubborn when it comes to such things, but she will admit she was wrong and apologize IF she was wrong

if she wasn’t wrong but the argument got out of hand, she’ll apologize for that but will affirm her correctness

kiss her scars, she has them, and she is proud of them but 

support her at her pro bending matches and she will DIE, so happy, literally sososososososo happy, hugs you, loves you, yes

treats you as an equal no matter what, even if people think that as the avatar she should see herself as something more than

very protective of you.

like if someone flirts with you, she is clingy x10. if someone hits on you despite your protests, she HITS them. if someone threatens to hurt you, she promises to end them. 

MARRIAGE N STUFF

WELP

she’s gonna realize she wants to propose when she almost loses you, or in the middle of a battle. when the reality of potentially losing you hits her she is gonna realize she wants to live out the rest of her life by your side, protecting you

situation one is where she literally, in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE, without a ring, just proposes. you are being a baddie, bending if you are a bender, fighting the opposing enemy, looking MIGHTY FINE while doing it

“marry me.”

you falter, nearly getting hit as your head whips over to her and you’re like, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

and she throws a giant rock at the opposition, temporarily indisposing them, “yes?? why wouldn’t i be.”

Someone comes up behind you and you elbow them in the face and ram your foot into their knee, knocking them down, “RIGHT NOW?” 

she throws a whip of water in your direction and you dodge it, allowing her to take out the enemy behind you, and you throw a whole dagger at her to do the same. “that was close.” she narrows her eyes at you bc you lowkey look like you wanna kill her rn as you two hide behind a barricade for cover and an explosion washes over it, “you could’ve killed me.”

“you just about gave me a heart attack when you PROPOSED two minutes ago, need i remind you.”

korra raised a brow at you, “is that a no...?”

“do you even have a ring?”

korra gives you a look that gives you the answer and you groan, “i cannot believe you.”

“you really should’ve expected this.”

“i know.”

“i get to pick the ring then?”

“you’re probably going to plan the whole wedding.”

“alright.”

theres a boom from beyond the barricade you two have hidden behind as korra looks to you, “alright?”

“i’ll marry you.” you elaborate, giving her a bright smile.

situation two is more depressing lol

you have been SHOT oops, don’t die pls because korra CANNOT handle it after everything that has happened to her, so if you die she’s done

she’s kinda just sitting at your bed side and it hits her that you could die basically any day now, and she would have so many regrets

she wished she kissed you more, told you she loved you more, held you longer, spent more mornings with you and your bedhead, she wished she learnt to cook so that she could surprise you with a meal when you get home from a long day of work, she wishes she did a lot of things

she wishes you two were married.

korra is now having an existential crisis, and everyone is telling her that she has to go home, get some rest, you’ll wake up eventually, you’ll get better, but you don’t wanna wake up to korra being a mess

she knew they were right, you always scolded her for not taking care of herself, so she decided to follow some of their wishes

Korra cannot bring herself to go home, there are so many reminders of you that it hurts, and she kinda just decides she’ll stay in a hotel and wash up and such.

besides, you are her home.

after leaving the hotel, she ends up going the jeweler and buying the ring she believes screams you

when korra returns to the hospital, she contemplated proposing right then and there, before realizing that you’d probably yell at her for choosing such a ridiculous time and you already had a lot on your plate

once the two of you return home and you are in the midst of recovery, she did learn to cook, so you wouldn’t feel the need to do so, and given your situation she fears you’ll injure yourself further in the process.

you two are eating dinner and you’re babbling on about something you’d read, and she suddenly decides to get up and walk over to you, leaving you like ???

then she gets down on one knee and you are like :O

she’s like, “marry me.”

naturally, you start crying and nodding because wow this is such an intimate moment and just happiness

kissinggggg after that 

the wedding is, under NO CIRCUMSTANCE public, the most private and intimate wedding ever. korra hates reporters after her life as the avatar, she doesnt want strangers at her wedding.

any and everyone she has ever fought beside is there though, its wholesome and nice

definitely cries when she sees you at the altar

her vows are MASTERFUL AND TEARJERKING 

its a pretty basic wedding though, unless you prefer something over the top, the food is nice a mix of both your cultures and favorite things and there’s beautiful lighting

definitely done on air temple island, and tbh tenzin would probably walk you down the aisle because i said so

married life with her is even better, she lives for he domesticity of it all, especially lazy sunday mornings with the light filtering in and you just looking all pretty and having a lil fun

iykyk

honeymoon in the spirit word lads

bolin is your number one supporter

life with korra is a 10/10 i do recommend it

A/N: im kinda in love with korra lol this requests made me happy

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

Mabel’s All-In-One Guide to Being a Shooting Star: How to Avoid Being Caught and Other Tips You Should Know

Chapter Four: Not Gravity Falls

Whoops I forgot to post it my b you guys

Shoutout to @edward-or-ford and @pacific-ship for being bangs

When I wake up, the dream isn't done, I wanna see your face and know I've made it home. If nothing is true, what more can I do?- All Time Low, Painting Flowers

There was something… off about this Gravity Falls. Which was, of course, to be expected; alternate reality and all that. It wasn’t as different from her Gravity Falls as Not Dipper was from her Dipper, it just… It just felt strange. Like it was just a little bit wrong. It was darker. Everything was darker. She didn’t quite understand why.

She was still somewhat out of it, and walking was a chore. She really missed her bike. Why didn’t she have her bike again? Right, because she’d been abducted by gnomes, and then abducted-slash-rescued by an alternate version of her bro.

He was walking beside her, this alternate Dipper, and there was something different in the way he held himself. Her Dipper was… awkward, for lack of a better word. Adorably so, of course; it was one of the many things that had made her fall in love with him to begin with.

But this version… this version of Dipper walked with an easy sort of confidence Mabel wasn’t used to seeing, not on anybody, or at least not to that degree. He wasn’t awkward. Not even a little. He was sure of himself, perhaps even arrogant. He stood at his full height, not slouching or hunching his shoulders.

He didn’t just walk, either. He strutted, and he didn’t seem to notice when the townspeople (who had all stopped dead in their tracks and were looking at her, slack-jawed and wide-eyed) gave them both an unnecessarily wide berth. He didn’t glance at them, not even briefly to take mental note of their locations in relation to his own. He simply continued on as if they weren’t there, as if they didn’t exist.

They were looking at her with such unmistakable horror that Mabel had to say something.

“Hey,” she murmured at Not Dipper. “What’s the deal with these guys?”

“Hm?” He didn’t appear to have been paying attention to them, so when she voiced her question, he glanced around haphazardly. “Oh, I suppose they might think you’re… the other Mabel.”

“Huh. Weird.” Before she could comment further, her words were cut off.

“Mabel?” came a shocked voice that was almost familiar, but not quite. And when Mabel slowed her pace along the sidewalk and turned her gaze to her right, she found herself looking at a very… well, it was just odd, wasn’t it, almost as odd as Not Dipper’s mannerisms and general Not Dipper-ness. The contrast of these weird versions to the people she knew was lowkey freakin’ her out.

It was… “Pacifica?” It did very much appear to be Pacifica. The girl looked like Pacifica. She had the same face, eyes, and general appearance, but it looked like Pacifica if Pacifica had aged several years and gotten a hippie costume from a Halloween store. Or a Summerween store. Y’know. Whatever.

“You’re, uh… how are you…?” Pacifica was asking, and Mabel still felt a bit wobbly, but she smiled at this strange version of Pacifica all the same.

“Hi!” Mabel greeted with a cheerful wave, sticking her hand out for the other girl to shake. “I’m Mabel, nice to meet ya!” There was murmuring of words from the crowd that Mabel couldn’t hear or understand, and Pacifica was looking at Mabel’s hand like it had a shark’s mouth and the corresponding number of teeth (which was, fun fact, three thousand), and would give her hand similar treatment to that of those teenagers in Jaws.

Realizing Pacifica wasn’t gonna take her hand, Mabel lowered it with a pout. Not Dipper wasn’t looking at her. He’d stopped walking when she had, but he was staring off into space, his expression blank.

“I… I don’t understand,” Pacifica said, eyeing Mabel warily. “How are you… how are you here?”

Suddenly, Mabel remembered: ‘nother universe, concussion, blah blah blah.

“Right!” She snapped her fingers. “Sorry, I totes magoats forgot!” Pacifica (and everyone else) raised their eyebrows at her. “Have a bit of a concussion here,” she explained, knocking on the side of her head. “Yowch, prolly shouldn’t’ve done that. Anyway, the long and short of it is,” she paused for dramatic effect, “I’m from an alternate dimension! Ta-da!” She did jazz hands. Dramatic effect really was important. Essential, even.

“Okay,” Pacifica said slowly, looking immensely confused. “So, how, exactly…” she glanced at Not Dipper, and her eyes widened. “Holy crap, what happened?!” she exclaimed, rushing towards him. “Are you okay? We need to get you to a hospital, ommigod!”

He rolled his eyes, allowing them to land on her. “It’s none of your concern.” His voice was bored, disinterested, like the absolute last thing in the world he wanted to be doing was to be talking to her, and the fact that he was having to was nothing more than an irritating waste of time.

“Worry not, little missy!” Mabel gave her a double thumbs up. “We’re gonna get it taken care of and the not-broseph over here will be a-okay!”

Nobody else said anything. Pacifica was still looking at her nervously. If they thought she was the alternate universe’s Mabel and they were acting like, well, that, then what in the hell had her other self done to them? Dang diggity, they were looking at Not Dipper the same way; what had he done to them?

She glanced at him. He wasn’t looking at Pacifica anymore. He was staring off into space again.

“Um, well, I-“

Pacifca’s nervous stuttering was cut off by Not Dipper sighing, taking Mabel’s hand in his, and pulling her forward again. “Time to go,” he said, not bothering to look over his shoulder.

Had he always been so... apathetic? Mabel wasn’t sure. Her head was still pounding somewhat, and she couldn’t remember suuuuuper clearly, but she was pretty sure he’d been paying attention to her before. In fact, he’d been focused entirely on her, she had thought. But just then, he wasn’t focusing on anything. He’d totally snubbed Pacifica, too!

“Where are we going, exactly?” Mabel asked, doing her best to wave over her shoulder at the bewildered and fearful-looking townspeople as Not Dipper dragged her along behind him, his hand gentle but firm around hers.

“Home,” Not Dipper said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Not her home, obviously, but his. Was it her shaken brain, or was his distinct lack of the word ‘my’ weird?

“Not… uh…” she took a moment to collect her thoughts. Stupid concussion. What was that word again? “Not a hospital?”

“Not a hospital,” he agreed.

“O...kay…?”

After several minutes of him walking in strides that were a bit much for Mabel, particularly since she was having difficulty walking at all, he looked over his shoulder at her with one of those stupid stupid stupid grins-

“You seem to be having a bit of trouble there, Mabel dear. You’re quite sure you don’t want me to carry you again?”

“Yes, I’m sure!” She nodded emphatically. But, wait a second. “Again? What do you mean again?”

“Oh,” he glanced over his shoulder at her for a second, as if he’d forgotten he’d mentioned it to begin with. “I carried you earlier. When you were unconscious, you know.”

“R- right,” she stuttered. He’d carried her? How terribly embarrassing. She was far too heavy to be carried, and she was massively uncomfortable with this random version of her twin she loved in a very un-sister-type way knowing that she was far too heavy to be carried. “Thank you for saving me, by the way.”

“Of course,” he said easily. “Though please do try not to get into too much trouble now that you’re here.” He paused for a moment. “I’d hate to see something happen to you.”

“Honestly, the only place weird stuff ever happens to me is Gravity Falls,” she chuckled a bit. Her own need to escape had trapped her in a way, hadn’t it? “I’m probably no safer here than I was in my dimension.”

They’d migrated from sidewalks to dirt walkways along the side of a long, winding road that Mabel couldn’t see the end of.

“You’re safe with me,” he told her firmly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He was pulling her along the dirt path still, the earth and gravel crunching beneath her shoes. It was fairly dark by this point, so the chill of the evening air bit into the bare skin her shorts and loose crop top revealed.

“Sorry for complaining, but like. We’ve been walkin’ for a hot minute here, and I’m not seeing any houses in sight, so I’m just…'' she paused to take a break. Words were hard when one had a concussion. “Just kinda wondering if we’ll ever actually get to your far-far-away abode, y’know?”

“We’re almost there,” he assured her, and she could’ve sworn he squeezed her hand, but she really wasn’t sure. She might’ve imagined it. Actually, she probably imagined it. Almost certainly.

Which, side note, but why was he still holding her hand? They weren’t exactly walking side by side, no, but she was close enough behind him to where he didn’t really need to lead her anywhere.

Before she could formulate the words to question it, however, a wall came into view. A very high wall. Perhaps ten feet? Mabel didn’t know; she’d never been great at math. Sue her. It was stone, it looked like, but it was difficult to tell for certain because it was covered in ivy from top to bottom.

“You see?” He smiled at her slightly. “We’re there.”

The road they were walking beside appeared to end at a very large, ornate wrought iron gate that the wall-slash-fence appeared to house, and beyond that lay a driveway, leading to…

A… castle? It certainly looked like a castle. It was very very tall, and she couldn’t see much, but it definitely looked like a castle.

She sped up her pace a bit so she could match his long strides and poke him lightly on the arm. He looked down at her with mild amusement, it looked like. “Hey, uh…” he raised his eyebrows at her. “Is that where you live?”

“Yes, that’s why we’re here,” he said as if it were obvious. As if anyone living in a goddamn castle in the year of our lord 2019 was an obvious conclusion for somebody to jump to.

She noticed that some of his hair had fallen from its slicked back style and was falling over his birthmark. She wondered what it would look like down. She wondered what it would feel like. She wondered- no no no, bad Mabel, very bad, he’s not your Dipper!

“So…” she trailed off for a second. “Just to be clear, so we’re like, one-hundred-and-ten percent on the same page here, you live in a castle. Have… have I got that right, oooorrrrrr…?”

“If you consider this a castle, then yes, I suppose.” Not Dipper was looking down at her again, and he looked like he found her surprise quite funny. Which she didn’t exactly appreciate, but y’know. Beggars can’t choose their rescuers and all that.

They’d finally reached the gate, and it appeared to have a very large G in very fancy cursive on it.

He pressed his thumb to an electronic pad. The gate creaked open, and he strolled through it, pulling her along after him. It closed again as soon as they went through, and she found herself looking around every way she could without making herself all dizzy again.

They navigated around what appeared to be a hedge maze (that she would later discover was also in the shape of a giant cursive G), and it was several more minutes before they reached the overly tall wooden doors.

It wasn’t until he pushed the door open, taking his hand from hers in the process, that she realized he’d never let go of her hand. He’d been holding it the entire time, and she’d never even noticed.

[springday-aus]

Superpower!AU with Hyungwon

—

Group: Monsta X

Member: Chae Hyungwon

Genre: fluff, romance, small [very minimal] angst

TW: car accident - don’t worry, no one died 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: approx. 2.8k

→ Inspired by the AU Prompt: “I know you can read minds and I really like you so I’m constantly filtering my thoughts—stop making fun of how I think of fighting giraffes, it’s my go-to when I think about you shirtless” 

so Hyungwon has the power of telepathy

how he got it was rather odd

he wasn’t necessarily born with it—it kind of came to him

despite what people might think, it wasn’t radioactivity

it was actually due to an accident

when he was young, there was a minor encounter

basically, there was a car and semi-truck incident

next thing he knew, his parents were in critical condition and he was being rolled into the ER for surgery

when he woke up, he was in his hospital bed and the ventilator was hooked up to him

he heard the voices of the nurses and the doctors, but their mouths weren’t moving

originally he brushed it off since he hasn’t fully recovered and his vision kept going in and out

but once he did recover… he could still hear them

luckily, his parents were okay

and that was how he was able to confirm his new-found power

he was able to hear theirs first and it was…. insane

he was freaked out, his parents were freaked out 

once they calmed down, they tried to figure out what to do—they eventually came to the conclusion to just let it happen

they can’t control that so they might as well figure it out together 

at first, it was uncontrollable, so he heard these voices whether or not he wanted to hear them

it was always loud and his own thoughts were never heard in his own head

oh, the amount of migraines he’d gotten from a young age…

but, don’t worry, he learned to maintain it as he grew up

now, he’s able to listen whenever he looks at someone and concentrate a bit more

he’s got a better control of it, but it also means he has to be careful as to where he looks bc he doesn’t wanna listen in on someone’s private thoughts

he’s always been getting in trouble when he was trying not to get in trouble when it comes to his telepathy

that tends to happen a lot in general though

because you’re hearing a lot of thoughts that you’re not trying to hear

which is why music became a good route of distraction

at first, the monsta x boys made fun of him for not getting airpods, but, after telling them about his telepathy, they understood why he got those big ass headphones

but, we’ll get to them later

anyways

bruh, high school was extra rough on this man

can you imagine hearing all of those thoughts? especially of hormonal teenage boys?

nasty

anyways

I like to think that this is why he sleeps so much

when he first got it, it was very emotionally draining for him and he slept like twelve hours at a time

unfortunately, he got into this habit and now he can doze off if he zones out enough

he slept a lot in high school, considering that he was trying not to hear his teacher’s thoughts and the other students and focus on the lesson and would end up falling asleep on his desk and then getting in trouble with the teachers

again, it’s that whole getting in trouble without meaning to get into trouble

so anyways

his family are the main people who know and god

the amount of family tea he’s gotten from his parents’ thoughts

while he does hate being able to hear all these thoughts without a choice, his favorite is the family gatherings and reunions

homeboy could make a tv novella with all the information he’s got on his family

because his immediate family are the ones who know, whereas his cousin that’s like twice removed doesn’t, but that’s justifiable

also, his parents have to be careful when they’re talking about him or his younger brother tho

(Hyungwon: “dad, am I not your favorite?”

his dad: “I don’t have have favorites”

Hyungwon: “the lies”)

other than his family, his long time friends also know, i.e. the monsta x boys

I’m talking long term because he’s so comfortable with them and Hyungwon was stupid and let it slip

Jooheon: I know we agreed on Chinese but I kind of wanted pizza

Hyungwon: “we can get both if you want”

Jooheon: “get what?”

Hyungwon: wait a second

oh, whenever they play games, Hyungwon uses this telepathy to help him cheat

and Changkyun was suspicious of how Hyungwon, the guy who falls asleep 20 minutes into a movie, had such good gaming tactics

his suspicions were confirmed when Hyungwon told them but they all also lowkey were confused and didn’t believe him, altho it did fill in a few of the gaps

like how Hyungwon gives perfect gifts for people that they can actually use

and how he can easily solve issues before they can even become bigger issues

there were just bits and pieces that came together and he did get to prove it

Kihyun: “what am I thinking about?”

Hyungwon: “I don’t think you would want me to say it in front of our Minhyuk here”

Kihyun: …… “okay, you pass”

but revealing this also means a lot of questions

especially from Minhyuk, who’s bouncing around and is curious as to how it works

and isn’t like always being verbally asked

like, the questions will just pop into their heads and Hyungwon hears it

actually what he hears is

Minhyuk: can he hear animal thoughts?

Minhyuk: do they speak English? or do they speak in that animal sound?

Minhyuk: should I ask him? or am I going to be bothering him?

Minhyuk: okay, try to be casual and slip it in and-

Hyungwon: “I can only hear people’s thoughts, now can we please get on with the meal?”

Minhyuk: oh right he can hear mine

Hyungwon: “YES I CAN HEAR IT PLEASE BE QUIET”

Wonho: …. “what’s going on????”

this is why he favors you compared to the others

you’re curious, but not like super curious like Minhyuk

but it’s also because your thoughts are the most hilarious ones

it’s primarily because you censor a lot of your thoughts with other thoughts and they are….. eccentric

there’s a reason tho

long story short: you like him

you two are basically childhood friends

you met in middle school and woke him up before he could get in trouble and it was all history from there

it wasn’t until around the college years that the feeling hit you like a ton of bricks

and when it did hit, you were lucky Hyungwon wasn’t around to read your thoughts

because……... oof

he went from that kid with acne that you used to spray water at to keep awake

to a handsome young man that makes your heart pound so loudly in your chest

he had told you about these powers of his about a year into college, when he realized you weren’t going to disappear from his life so easily

but also because you were thinking about how the fbi is definitely listening in on your conversations because you got an ad on instagram about those sleeping bags that make it look like you were being eaten by a shark and he HAD to make a comment

Hyungwon: “dude what the fuck”

You: “what?”

Hyungwon: “how bad is your anxiety that you’re worried about the fbi agent in your phone?”

You: …… **narrows eyes** “I didn’t say anything about an fbi agent”

Hyungwon: ah shit, here we go again

anyways

that’s just a small glimpse of what Hyungwon has to hear

your thoughts were hilarious to tune into, to the point where Hyungwon listens in when you’re daydreaming and it’s like his news for the day

and it only got worse (at least for you) because you were constantly censoring your thoughts after your self-discovery of your feelings for him

you two were studying in the library one time for finals and he got real close to get a good look at the textbook to see where you were

and you couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was

but when he looked at you

you immediately switched your thoughts to think about that time Wonho choked on his ramen noodles

Hyungwon: “why are you thinking about Wonho choking?”

You: “because it’s funny?”

Hyungwon: …… “fair point”

and so now, you have something to turn to each time an incident happens

whenever he says something that makes your heart flutter, you think about Ted Bundy’s yellow buggy

whenever he makes you unconsciously jealous, you think about fat cats sitting on glass tables

you have something for everything

and Hyungwon has no idea because you’ve gotten so fucking good at hiding it

until one day, you were out with the boys, trying out this new restaurant that opened beside the river

Jooheon talks about how nice it would be nice to go to the beach sometime

Shownu tries to start plans and says y’all could plan a barbeque and make a whole trip out of it

but then Kihyun whines, saying he’s not ready because he hasn’t gone to the gym in a month

Wonho: “you haven’t gone to the gym period”

Kihyun: “better than me living there like you do”

Wonho: “and who’s the one with the abs?”

Kihyun: “son of a bitch”

that got you thinking

Hyungwon? on the beach? that means he’s just gonna chill on the side

but that also means….. a shirtless Hyungwon

Shownu: “what do you think (y/n)?”

You: “nothing, absolutely nothing”

Hyungwon looks over at you with a knowing look in his eyes

You: “what?”

Hyungwon: ………….. “why are you thinking about fighting giraffes?”

Minhyuk: “.... is that really what (y/n)’s thinking?”

Changkyun: “dude”

You: “sorry for thinking about the zoo?”

Hyungwon: “we were talking about the beach, why were you thinking about the zoo?”

You: god, I wanna die

Hyungwon: “well, are you going to die before or after the beach trip?”

Shownu: “we need to keep track of the body count, (y/n), this is important” 

sometimes you also wonder why you like him when these moments occur

but then he gives you that smile and you think to yourself

it do be like that 

and because you all are trying to plan out the beach trip, you couldn’t stop thinking about…. shirtless Hyungwon

therefore 

starts up more thoughts about fighting giraffes ensue

and more teasing on behalf of Hyungwon to you

Hyungwon: “do you wanna go to the zoo instead???? is that why you keep thinking about these giraffes????”

You: I. want. to. die.

Hyungwon: “you’ll die if you join the fighting giraffes—oW OWW OKAY I’LL SHUT UP”

the nonstop teasing for weekkkkkksss

until he finally asks you, the day before the trip

Hyungwon: “seriously, are you upset that we went out to the beach instead of the zoo?”

You: ugh, this whole ass man keeps making fun of me for thinking about fighting giraffes, this is your fault for being so fucking attract-

You: WONH O CHOKI NG ON RAMEN

Hyungwon: “WHOA NO FINISH YOUR THOUGHT”

You: NO

You: WONHO. CHOKING. LALALALLALA-

you avoided him for the rest of the day and filled your head with more censored thoughts

so he couldn’t hear anything else

and he didn’t

homeboy was left so confused because

he really likes having you as a friend but

having you as a partner would be so much better

he’s liked you since high school

hearing your thought process and little quirks

he grew fond of them

he knows it’s really invasive, but, in his defense, he was still learning to control them

and he found himself staring at you more and more, accidentally hearing your thoughts

one thing he really hated about his power is that even when he’s just taking in your presence………… he can still hear it even if he doesn’t try to

but anyways

he was sure of his feelings, but didn’t wanna push anything until he was absolutely sure

and now just might be that chance

so, after ducking him the entire day, which is hard to do when he’s trying to find you the entire day

(it’s not that hard considering all he hears from you is “FBI AGENTS GET OUT”)

(at least, that’s what you were trying to think so he doesn’t hear anything else about how you were going to explain yourself)

and he manages to catch you when the boys set up a bonfire and there’s no other spots…… except the one next to Hyungwon

which he totally, 100% did not plan

;)

anyways, you try to distract yourself by focusing your attention the marshmallow you have roasting over the fire

whereas he’s trying to read your mind, but it goes to waste as your attention is solely focused on the marshmallow

hence the tune of IU’s Marshmallow being played in your head

some of the other guys leave the bonfire, either to take a nightly beach stroll or to sleep 

and that left you, Hyungwon, and a melting marshmallow that you were trying to keep from completely burning

before you could flee though, Hyungwon speaks up

Hyungwon: “what? no fighting giraffes?”

You: “I will hit you with a flaming marshmallow”

you thought about it for a second tho, why did you think about fighting giraffes?

the boys were talking about the beach and then they talked about the trip

and the beach made you think about a shirtless Hyungwon

…………. shirtless Hyungwon

FIGHTING GIRAFFES

Hyungwon: “wait what”

You: fuck

You: “fuck”

and then your worst nightmare happens

he starts laughing

You: “sssttttoooppppppp”

You: “it’s my go-to when I think about you shirtless, okay? are you satisfied?”

he keeps laughing

Hyungwon: “do you like the image that much that you have diverted your thoughts from it?”

You: bitch

Hyungwon: “I heard that”

You: “I KNOW YOU DID” 

there’s a bit of a lull and you try to focus on your marshmallow again, but the heat on your face isn’t from the fire alone

Hyungwon: “don’t be embarrassed”

You: “I’m embarrassed because it’s you, idiot”

Hyungwon: “why?”

You: because I like you

Hyungwon: “how dumb of you to think I didn’t feel the same way”

you turn to him

You: really?”

Hyungwon: “yeah really”

Hyungwon: “your marshmallow is burning”

that’s not the only thing burning 

you both assumed that was the night that you both agreed to date

the next day, were the boys shocked that the two of you are dating?

not exactly

bc they knew Hyungwon liked you for quite some time and also the fact that whenever one of them did think you were cute….

let’s just say Hyungwon’s mouth said idc but his eyes said he could murder them and get away with it

also he trusted you enough to tell you about this secret of his, so there was definitely a high chance he was going to develop romantic feelings for you anyways

*cue a sad Minhyuk in the corner somewhere*

KIDDING

or am I

anyways

there isn’t much change to your relationship

other than additional cuddling and pecks here and now

altho there are a couple of changes

your thought processes are more clear because now you have nothing to hide but

they are also unclear because it’s like

Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hy—

he also tries more and more not to hear your thoughts, but sometimes it’s hard not to hear them, especially as he openly stares at you more and more

but then again, because of that, he’s gaining better and better control of his powers

he lowkey does use it when you get into arguments because it gives him a better understanding of your perspective and that allows him to provide his and it opens up more communication between you two, even if you don’t have telepathy

also he tried to make up for it by saying everything he’s thinking

that was a very bad idea from the start bc you got annoyed really quickly

but you also kind of sympathized with him

You: “I’m sorry you have to hear my thoughts all the time”

Hyungwon: “that’s not your fault”

You: “but that’s not yours either”

he loves being able to talk to you about these things bc it really feels like someone’s in his corner

you try to understand him better and make things easier

whether it’s getting him better headphones

or distracting him with your own obscure thoughts

I’m very sure that anyone who dates Hyungwon in general is going to nap with him so…

many many naps with him with lots and lots of cuddles

you both take care of one another, physically and mentally

especially since you know he isn’t the type that opens himself up to many people

and hearing all of these thoughts, yours and others, must be exhausting for him 

anyways in this household we love and protect Chae Hyungwon bc homeboy is just tired and needs a break 

[5wordsorless]

buffy seasons ranked by how much buffy needed therapy, least to most

TW: mental health issues, suicide, assault

Season 4: yeah there was the Parker thing and some residual Angel trauma and also the Faith thing and general interpersonal tensions and her professor tried to kill her, but for Buffy, that’s honestly not that bad. 5/10 should go to therapy for personal growth but would probably be okay without it

Season 1: some bad and traumatizing things happen like finding out her crush is a super old vampire, voluntarily going to her own death, switching schools and having to make all new friends, etc. Also presumably this was not long after her forced hospitalization. But she says “Giles I don’t wanna die” which is a good sign, doesn’t have a death wish yet. 5.5/10 should really consider therapy but things could be worse given she’s the Slayer and at least she has a good support system

Season 3: okay, shit is hitting the fan. Serious identity issues around Faith and her own identity/future as the Slayer, and she’s acting out because of it. Her father figure secretly drugs her for a bit. Trauma of killing her bf and then having him make a comeback from hell. Both her bffs and her mom are kidnapped over the course of the season. Everyone is a dick to her when she comes back from LA. Never dealt with Season 2 trauma in a productive and healthy way. 7/10 girl really needs help but somehow this still isn’t as bad as it gets for her

Season 2: clearly super traumatized from dying/fighting the Master in Season 1, and it shows in how she acts in “When She Was Bad.” Has sex for the first time with someone way older than her who immediately turns into a monster and spends the rest of the season psychologically tormenting her. Her life is in imminent danger, even more than usual, in some way for most of the season. Her mom kicks her out of the house and basically disowns her right before she has to go kill her ex and for a hot second she’s a wanted fugitive. 8.5/10 this is so messed up but she’s handling it surprisingly well

Season 7: the collective trauma of all the past seasons, especially of Season 5 and 6, has added up and it shows. She also now runs an army who kicks her out of her own house and also her dad tried to kill her new boyfriend. 9/10 she’s hella emotionally repressed and clearly Not Good but also is doing a p good job of keeping it together anyway, we love a resilient queen. But also please go to therapy and learn coping mechanisms that aren’t repression

Season 5: she suddenly has a sister! her mom is ill! she drops out of school! her bf leaves her! her mortal enemy decides he’s in love with her and kidnaps her about it! her mom dies! she’s the guardian of her little sister who didn’t even exist till a few months ago! she might have to kill her little sister!!! she’s even concerned about herself and goes on a vision quest thingy instead of seeing a mental health professional. 10/10 for the intense catatonic state she goes into near the end of the season and the end of “The Gift” which is lowkey maybe suicide

Season 6: name one moment in Season 6 where Buffy didn’t desperately need therapy I dare you (the part where she was Joan and had no memories doesn’t count). Anyway to recap: pulled out of heaven and thus incredibly depressed/borderline suicidal and at least initially, kinda feral. Broke as hell and now needs to support a household where no one seems to be paying rent AND raise a kid, as a 21 year old. Sleeps with her mortal enemy to cope. Violent and unstable sexual relationship with said mortal enemy. Almost r*ped. Almost killed. Her friend dies. Her best friends’ lives are somehow almost as messed up as her own. Her father figure abandons her again for most of the season. Works a nightmare customer service job. Her ex shows up with his hot new wife. Multiple demons mess with her perception of reality. Still hasn’t dealt with losing Joyce. 100000/10 this season was incredibly dark and Buffy wasn’t blameless in all of it but literally everything she did was pretty understandable given she had to claw her way out of her own coffin at the beginning of the season 

In conclusion Buffy deserved so much better and she really needed to see a mental health professional about her issues but literally the closest she ever got to that was some comforting conversations with Tara rip

[whitherliliesbloom]

✿ stories you want to write

Tagged by: @earthlystar, @fistsoflightning, @stars-bleed-hearts-shine​, @windup-dragoon​ THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Tagging: idk, whoever wants to do this lmao. just say I tagged you!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a bundle of unfulfilled ideas / headcanons. I have a lot of stories / AU ideas I want to write.. but either don’t have the time or energy to write them... Or you know, I’m just plain lazy.

I’m also kind of leaning more towards Genshin Impact now than FFXIV oops

1) More time travel AU

I KNOW!! I’m the only one who cares about this au okay but 

TIME TRAVEL STORIES ARE ALWAYS SOME OF MY FAVORITE STORIES??? ADDING TO THAT ANYTHING INVOLVING LIKE.. META COMMENTARY AND POSSIBLE 4TH WALL BREAKING??? STEINS;GATE??? MADOKA MAGICA??? CHARLOTTE??? UNDERTALE??? The ability to stop time and rewind time is just such a COOL ASS concept to me?? I won’t shut up about wanting time mage in ffxiv just so I can OFFICIALLY make her a canon overpowered time and space manipulator. Maybe then, time travel au won’t just be an au anymore.

On top of that I just really like Cronus. The idea of an Illya who is so damaged and broken she becomes an entirely different person. I just don’t really have a set plot planned for this au or have any idea on how to resolve the conflict between Cronus, present timeline Illya and Alphinaud... or if I even wanna give Cronus a happy ending iafnioafas. But whenever there’s an opportunity to talk about time travel au, you bet your gil I will.

2) More Nier Automata AU

I kinda lost steam for this AU really really quickly for some reason but.. I had pretty ambitious plans for the plot of this which I really hope I’ll find the inspiration to write out some day.. because I really don’t like just.. reducing my ideas to simple bullet point headcanons. 

Some brief idea of what I had in mind though:

 bad ending depending on illya’s actions at one of the climatic scenes

different ‘good’ endings depending on her last dialogue choice which would lead to her ending up with different love interests. 

love triangle, of course

side plot for alisaie and ryne involving an escort mission

really really meta writing about the meaning of an android’s life and who 2C feels like she really is

scene of 2C regaining memories of alphinaud’s death and losing her shit

Like I said. I’m a bundle of lots of ideas that are almost always unfulfilled. I still really like this au though and I don’t want it to go to waste...

3) More Modern AU

Oops another AU. At least this one isn’t depressing or something that might give you an existential crisis. I have A LOT of headcanons for modern au ffxiv characters... not to mention different versions of the modern au concept. There’s Youtuber Illya AU, there’s highschool AU, there’s that AU where Illya works at a coffee shop and Alphinaud is a university student. 

I just love how laid back and Slice of Life-y modern au can be and I just... really love the idea of Illya living a normal happy life that doesn’t involve her having to kill gods every other day as much as i do love to torture her, yes. 

Some ideas for modern au fics i had:

Highschool AU Ryne asking her friends to cosplay sailor moon characters for a cosplay convention. Laurelis as Sailor Moon and Haurchefant as Tuxedo Mask. Ryne herself as Sailor Venus. Gaia as Sailor Mars. Illya as Sailor Saturn. 

Youtuber Illya attempting to vlog outside her home for the first time while she’s on a date with Alphinaud because her viewers requested it so much. Just pure fluff and the dorks being dorks. 

Highschool AU Illya working on a set of mini terrarium jewelry to sell at the school fair to raise money. The jocks at the school sort of laugh and lowkey bully her for the idea but she ends up making a ton of money.

SOL comedy AU where alisaie and alphinaud both have a crush on Illya sort of compete for her attention. She’s completely oblivious to all of it. 

Cafe AU where Illya has raised enough money (and with Alphinaud’s generous donation) to send in an entry to university. Alphinaud helps her study for the entrance exam. 

More double dates? :eyes:

4) To Aru Majutsu no Index AU

LOOK SOMETHING I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT ON MY BLOG BEFORE. I just really like the premise / setting of this anime. ARE YALL READY FOR WORD VOMIT???

Academy city, a city that houses many schools, and research intuitions devoted to the study and advancement of science. Espers are individuals who use scientifically based supernatural powers, all of whom gained and trained their powers artificially under the system of Academy city. However, there is another underground side to the city - a small organization of people with supernatural abilities that cannot be explained by science. They are called magicians - and due to the rarity of magic, and how Academy city is so repulsed by the idea of abilities that defy the laws of conventional science and their understanding, some people even believe that magic is simply a myth or urban legend. 

While espers typically specialize in only one or two types of ability, magicians are often able to wield a variety of different abilities that take time to train and nurture, making them so frightening to the science side of academy. Some magicians even end up dabbling in the occult or black magic.

Alphinaud, a level 4 esper with the ability to physically see energy waves emitted by other espers. Couple that with his high intelligence, he is able to analyze the movements and abilities of other espers and even pin point the weak points of their abilities. His twin sister Alisaie is also a level 4 esper who is able to teleport herself and one other person she touches a certain distance in a radius around her current location. 

Alphinaud comes across Illya on his home from his training program one day, beaten and exhausted on the side of the road. He wants to call the hospital, but she begs him not to, saying she’s afraid that ‘they’ will find her. He takes her back to his home and nurses her wounds. Not seeing any energy waves being emitted from her, he assumes that she is simply an ordinary citizen. He asks her where her home is and how she ended up injured on the side of the road, but she refuses to tell him.

One day, a fight breaks out on the streets near his home, where a level 5 esper has gone rogue and is attacking innocent bystanders. He asks Illya to stay behind while he and Alisaie takes care of the situation. They are outmatched however, and Illya, watching the situation from the balcony of his home finally decides to step in. She easily incapacitates the esper using a variety of magical abilities the twins have never seen before, draining the man of his energy before returning to heal Alphinaud and Alisaie. 

They question Illya later, and she finally confesses to being a magician who is on the run from an organization who had been keeping her captive for the past few years. She has the ability of perfect memory - being able to memorize spells from any grimoire she reads and utilize the powers for herself, though often at some debilitating cost. The more powerful the spell, the more dire and painful the side effects.  She has been forced to read a total of more than 500 grimoires by now, and only managed to narrowly escape thanks to a mysterious man who took pity on her. 

Due to the side effects of her ability, and also having done nothing but be chained up and forced to read grimoires for the past few years, Illya is physically frail and cannot fend for herself beyond using magical abilities, which she is often hesitant to do.

5) Pokemon AU...carmela im looking

Waiting for @windupnamazu​ to provide more details on her pokemon au buttttt i’ve already been working on illya’s sort of backstory, her pokemon team, alphinaud’s pokemon team and other headcanons regarding this au. Also.. working with an artist regarding illya’s design for this au, which i’m very excited to be able to share =3c Not the time yet tho

I actually talked about a pokemon au with Jam as early as June of last year. I made a pokemon team for illya aaaaaand only half of her original team I had for her over a year ago is still in her current team oops. It’s okay, the retconned ones can stay at home and relax with Lachlan. 

6) More amaurotine stuff

Oh finally something relating to canon. I’ve been thinking about Chloris x Apollo from time to time and honestly I.. really love their dynamic.. despite how sad and lowkey awful Apollo can be towards her. But I think that’s part of the charm of what makes alphinaud and illya’s relationship later so sweet, being able to acknowledge that they had their flaws and learn from them ;w;

I had an idea for Chloris inventing a type of flower with the unintentional suggestion of Apollo, and it later makes an appearance where Alphinaud discovers the flower and asks Illya about it. 

7) The twins... no, not the Leveilleur twins

I think everyone’s talked about their lovechildren more than I have and I’ve already kind of explained why I haven’t made any screens or talked about them at length but.. I really do love them so much ;;;; I wanna find the opportunity to write a fic of them maybe spending a day inside with their army of carbuncles... Also @ancientechos​‘ OC Esme (son of haurche and laurelis) developing a crush on one of them =3c 

Also another idea I had involving them is being taken to the site of some of Illya and Alphinaud’s adventures...

8) Butler AU...hey, anyone remember this? 

Remember when I did several comics back to back and was super motivated for this AU? I do. I miss being motivated and inspired and not like.. wrecked with depression. I have plot points... ALSO INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER OCs WHO JOINED THIS AU???? Maybe one day I’ll find the drive again. At least I was able to finish one plot arc!! Which is more than I can say for most of my other AUs. Someone get me back in the shoujo manga mood!!! please!!

9) Idol AU 

Hey idol AU anon where are you.... WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME YOUR EXTRA HEADCANONS PLEASE COME BACK

10) More Alphinaud and his interactions with DRK Illya

I’ve already written a good number of fics about this, but I still... wanna do more... Acceptance, unconditional love, Illya learning that he won’t leave her despite all her insecurities and flaws... ILLYA FINALLY LEARNING TO IDK ACCEPT HERSELF. HELP.

I just really like DRK Illya okay, and you can pry the symbolism of her duality with her dark side from my cold dead hands. 

[haich-slash-cee]

I luv emotional comfort in books

and IDK if y’all are aware but romance books are prime for this. So, my prose reading includes: Speculative fiction, #ownvoices type books that are middle grade YA ish, and also random romance novels that are inclusive. I’m going to go over why these books are great.

Speculative fiction (ie scifi, fantasy, horror): I just like these. These are my jam. I have a whole tag of mild horror for this blog, and most of the books I talk about on this blog are spec fiction.

Middle grade books: they have happy endings, they are short, they are easy to read, they are often diverse. V good.

YA books, New Adult books: also written in an easy-to-read style. Also, MG and YA books and I think New Adult tend to be more on top of inclusive representation. Or maybe that’s what I hear about and read more of.

FYI, things get potentially more angsty in these older reader books. Sometimes I’m up for that drama-filled YA book about a trans demi-boy artschool teenager in NYC, or I want to read about the teen mom who wants to be come a chef and she gets everything she wants and it’s great and I cried. Or, sometimes I just wanna curl up with a warm and lowkey MG book about a young Syrian refugee who wants to audition for a school play. (All these books have happy endings fyi)

(Also, I know I’m about to extoll the virtues of romance books.... but if, in fact, you prefer your books to be low/null on romance and stuff: first, there is a growing # of aro ace protagonist or oriented books, whooo! Also, often MG and some YA New Adult books fall into that category of “Characters are concerned about things besides a crush or love interest”.) 

Romance books: I don’t actively go looking for them, but occasionally an #ownvoices type romance book will show up in my radar and I’ll read it.

Having just actively pointed out that I appreciate ace aro ish books.... why romance books?

First, Romance book are legally required to have a happy and optimistic ending. That might not be the exact phrasing, but basically: you can’t call it a romance book if it’s not “happy ever after” or “happy for now”. So if you pickup a book with minority characters and it’s labeled “romance”? The minority characters are guaranteed to be cherished and loved and have a happy ending. Minority characters will be told “you’re amazing, you are loved, I am so happy when I am with you”. Which is revolutionary in its own way.

Also, when there’s so many books with themes of “Bury Your Gays”, “The PoC will Die for the White People”, “This Author Wants to you Connect With this Minority By Making Them Die Because That’s The only Way to Make a Minority Character Relatable?”, “Women Being Happy Is Too Weird Apparently?”, “This Gender Minority Needs to Suffer For Reasons and this Book is Written By an Outsider FYI and the Representation is Suspicious”, “While racism and pain is a part of PoC and minority day to day life that is not realized by majority groups, and minorities should speak up when they want to because they are often discouraged from speaking due to white fragility and systemic stuff -- I have questions when I see writers from a majority group writing about Minority Suffering, especially when imposed as Minorities Suffer And This Can’t Be Changed Narrative, because that is a very convenient narrative for an oppressive system, as it enforces that Things are Unchangeable and Oppressors don’t have to do the work to change a system that benefits them, and this narrative needs to be challenged", “Minority Characters Suffers, Suffers, Suffers.... Look, I need a break from reality, I just can’t read this right now”, and finally, “Did you know that ‘diverse’ books are popular, but it’s still white people making money from writing issues of PoC, while BIPOC authors are still only like 7% of the market and BIPOC writers are very aware of this gatekeeping happening in publishing?”.... Happy minority characters and also actively reading and supporting minority-author’d books is a thing to be discussed. (Link, link, link and link to publishing industry reports on the 2nd point.)

Also, romance books are generally character driven, and character driven stuff is my jam.

H/C: There’s like, sooo much emotional comfort in romance books, y’all. People are showered with love. People are vulnerable and comforted and happy. Listen, I just read “Wrapped Up in You” by Talia Hibbert and it was basically was two solid hours of this. Literally. And a few cats show up. Also, the writer put a note in the front of the book about some possible triggers in the story, assured that she handled these as lovingly as she could, and that this books was meant to be a Christmas comfort read. (It was.) I really like when published books put info like this in the front.

...Occasionally there is straight up physical h/c or whump or at least sick fic scenarios in romance? Like, I expect piles of fluff and emotional comfort from romance. It’s almost a legal requirement. I’m here for these saccharine piles for fluff. Anyway, there’s more physical h/c than I expected.

So I was reading “Let’s Talk About Love” by Claire Kann (which has a young Black woman who is Ace and falling in love in the most adorable way, fyi... so we have ace rep in romance books too!) Anyway, y’all, there was a whole section which was basically a sickfic for one character with cooing and nursing and worrying by another character. It went on for a while. Personally, I thought the illness sounded pretty dang serious here and I think these people should have just gone to the doctor or a hospital, maybe, instead of days and days of home nursing and convenient character backstory exploration through looking at photo albums. But this is fiction. (Also they are young adults and are struggling for money and maybe they’re afraid of healthcare costs, idk. It takes place in the US.)

Actually, while I have admittedly not read too many romances, I feel like half of the books I have read include a “uh oh the protagonist/love interest just got the flu, the other character has to take care of them” scene.

Also, once I was reading a romance story and someone just... fell off a cliff? And cue subsequent expressions of feelings from other character and spending time together etc. IDK why I’m laughing, it was just funny that I had a vague idea of what romance books were, then I read this book and thought, “People are just straight-up falling off cliffs and limping around and later they can’t move from a bed and someone fusses over them, wow, there is just straight up h/c in these published romance books for ladies and no one talks about it, huh”

[dickytwister]

HEY do you maybe have like an oc page or could you tell me something about all your ocs because i'm Interested and you have my full attention :eyes:

AHSJDKGLHL that's so sweet i'm nfjghl???? i don't have an oc page bc i'm the embodiment of an old man being given an iphone after 50 years of using a rotary phone but !!! i can yell abt them a bit aaa thank you for asking abt them 🥺🥺💚

i put everything under the cut bc dear god i have a lot to say abt my kids and i'm not gonna make everyone scroll through that HHHHHH haw 🤠🤠

elliot fletcher

- he's my deputy in fc5!! he's from waverly in iowa and he's just...very tired nfjfkhl give my poor man a break

- everytime his radio crackles he ages 10 years and if it's john talking add another 10 years

- he keeps the three heralds alive but he doesn't care abt joseph <3

- gets in trouble bc he's impulsive af nfjghl when jacob is close to the cage?? ram his face in the bars. when john leans like rlly close in the confession scene?? headbutt 😌🙏🏼

- the only people who know abt his past are earl, grace, faith and john, the rest just kinda speculate and elliot lets them believe what they want bc not only does he rlly not want ppl to know the actual truth, it's also very funny to listen to the stuff they can come up with

- speaking of faith he often seeks her for advice and sometimes they get high together and he gets teary eyed bc she's just... very nice to him and when all you see everyday is violence it's overwhelming to be shown a little bit of kindness 🥲🙏🏼

- he's in love with john but also he'd kick him across the county if he could but also he'd give his life for him

- after the bombs and all he unlocks his final form and becomes A Husband™, complete with a beard, a scarf and bad jokes that make john want to officially marry him so he can divorce his ass

- fun fact i came up with the name elliot fletcher bc i thought it sounded neat but recently i found out there's a trans actor called elliot fletcher too??? like what were the odds ngl that's so cool

carter quill

- this is my character in the marvel dnd game my brother is dming!!

- his parents are peter quill and kitty pryde and he inherited his mom's powers (so he can become immaterial and stuff uwu) and his dad's tiny pebble brain~

- he grew up on a ship with the guardians so his family is just... a bunch of uncles, one of which is a tree

- he's part of an initiative called the peacekeepers with isaaq cage (luke cage's and jessica jones' son), finneas "zorn" reeves (brock rumlow's and sinthea shmidt's son), lu "highway star" khan (the mandarin's son), alexis "hex" pythagoras (doctor strange's protégé) and ev-lin (ronan the destroyer's daughter who also happens to be carter's bully when they were 11 HHHHHH)

- everyone agrees that carter is just... a puppy. a little labrador. so overexcited. head empty. he doesn't know what's going on but he's having fun with his friends and that's what matters <3

- he died once and went to hell for like 66 years bc he held a bomb while it was exploding but he got better and he doesn't remember most of his time in hell but also he's a lil traumatised

- he wears cute skirts sometimes and also froggie themed clothes 🥰🥰 he's terrible at applying nail polish and it ends up smudged most of the time bc he can't sit still for more than two minutes without going insane but he still likes it

- he has a pet bird called ink!! he thought it was a nice name bc his last name is quill so u know,,, ink,,, quill,,,, he inherited his dad's terrible humor also

- he's fruity and has a big fat crush on one of his teammates 😳😳👉🏼👈🏼

- he strictly refuses to kill, so he uses stunt energy guns and a three section staff to fight!! he accidentally killed someone once and threw up

- he knows asl and is fluent in it!! he's also very bad at reading measurements when cooking (and reading in general) so he relies on their proto-ai, dadji, to help him cook and he listens to audiobooks a lot!!

- idk what else to say abt him except like two games ago he was in the hospital bc lu got hurt and he wanted to get him muffins from a coffee shop across the streets but he panicked when faced with the selection so he bought one of each and came back to the hospital room with like,,,, twenty muffins

- i found this pic of his face claim and it honestly just radiates his vibe so here have it

thorgran galvish

- he's my dwarf enchanter from another homebrew dnd game!! in this universe (and maybe others idk shit abt actual dnd HHHH forgive me) enchanter dwarves are lowkey enslaved bc of their rare link with magic

- thorgran blew up a wall and ran away to the surface so now he's a fugitive and he's constantly on the run uwu trust issues ensue

- he loves the sky so much?? especially at night?? he knows abt constellations, but he thinks they're just whatever you see in the stars and doesn't know there are like,,, actual constellations so he sits on the roof of a tall building sometimes and finds his own constellations

- he also tries to draw them but he rlly sucks at it aslkdsgl that doesn't stop him from filling his journal with little stars and drawings!!

- during my very first game with him he found his rival, who turned out to be a 16 years old teenager?? millennial/gen z rivalry

- agh i don't have much abt him yet bc i've only just started to play him but he's my beefiest boy and also a dilf 🥰🥰

theadric "elder" montajay

- yet another character from the same universe as thorgran, but this time it's a funky little halfling bard

- his instrument is the violin!! he tried every other instrument and his mom was very supportive despite how bad he was at all of them. his community was raided and his father died, so he inherited his violin and that turned out to be the only instrument he could play

- took his love of the economy to the next level when he decided to fuck every gang leader he could find to control their operations and ruin their organizations so the money they hoarded could be put back in circulation

- accidentally fell in love with a half-orc gang leader and was abt to tell him the truth abt what he was doing but was exposed by the first person he'd cheated so he had to run without explaining himself to his lover smh ://

- "i don't wanna fall in the slutty bard cliché," i say before immediately giving elder the tightest leather pants and opening his shirt to show his majestic chest hair.

- surprisingly good with kids?? anyone younger than him who looks sad becomes His Child and he turns into a lil mama, tasting the food of an inn first to assure it's not poisoned, giving hugs, soft shit like that ngl he's just a mom 😔😔

- we abandoned the game he was in but we left off when he'd just escaped a dwarven prison with his new child and others owo anyway slutty bard with chest hair?? that's just the witcher's jaskier

scylla

- my gay pirate lady!! i don't have much abt her either bc AAA BRAINROT but !!! i still love her very much

- she's a hybrid between a human and a psaarinch (fish folks in our homebrew universe uwu) and she looks very human except she has like shark abilities?? she can smell blood, taste with her skin, breathe underwater for like two hours or smth, sharper teeth,,

- she started off as a privateer but like what was the kingdom gonna do?? track her down to make sure everything she did was legal?? nah man she got that sweet fleet and became a pirate

- she beats men up in inns and gives their wives a good time <3

- she's very close to her crew and they're kinda just a big family

- she fights with those s-shaped staffs?? but they're actually blades ngfhl she's very agile and looks like she's dancing when she's actually fighting

- fun fact she's my second shark oc the first one was called maito and she was a yellow lantern in a dc game we did (the main difference between them is that maito loved men while scylla is very much a lesbian 😌🙏🏼)

i have like so many more of them but that's already such a long post and i don't wanna do too much NGL if u wanna know more hmu i'll yell some more 😎😎🙏🏼🙏🏼

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[fletcherr]

hi ! i’m maren and i’m bad at intros ! and bios ! and things in general ! ... why am i here again ? uhm. anyway ! this is fletcher and uh ... he hates it here askdjfs like i can’t lie i’m so sorry but for the time being it’s ... lowkey the truth ? i’m writing this part of the post first so fingers crossed i manage to keep this short and to the point. if there’s no tldr it’s because this was supposed to be it. ( spoiler ; i failed. it’s so fucking long you literally do not have to read it i am so sorry. ) i’m super excited to be here and cannot wait to get to know you and your muses and be a part of this amazing group !!

THE APP !

˖ °╰ ⌜ [ MUSE TEN, ROBERT PATTINSON, 31, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ] hey, have you seen FLETCHER DUNCAN ? last time i saw them i think they were hanging around THE ROOFTOP. they can kind of be VEHEMENT but can also be pretty HAUGHTY. they’re often caught listening to SUPERSTAR SH*T - DOMINIC FIKE ! they also tend to remind me of cheap cigarettes put out in still half full glasses of rare bourbon, flipping off paparazzi, showing up to important meetings bleary-eyed and twenty minutes late, wearing sunglasses inside and black hoodies on the hottest day of summer, feeling uninspired for months then writing three albums worth of songs in two weeks ! let me know if you’ve seen them around, they’ve been working at the championship around FOUR MONTHS and they’re late for their shift !

THE BASICS !

full name: fletcher ralph duncan ( born fletcher ralph irvine )

nicknames: prefers fletcher, but is okay with fletch or duncan

date of birth: november 18th, 1989

gender: cis male

pronouns: he / him

height: 6′1

tattoos: some stupid ones without any deeper meaning to them on his arms and thighs, for sure

THE ( VERY ) IN - DEPTH ! tw for mentions of abuse of drugs and alcohol, terminal illness, hospitals, and death

after years of marriage, fletcher’s parents had him when they were both about to enter their forties, as one last, final attempt to find back to the love they’d had for each other when they started dating way back in high school. it didn’t work. his father left  when fletcher was four; leaving divorce papers on the kitchen table two weeks before christmas. him and his mother, winnie, moved from one of the suburbs to a smaller, more affordable apartment in brooklyn. they were never quite comfortable, money-wise, but they didn’t struggle either. two years after the move, his mother started seeing a guy she’d been introduced to through friends from work. fletcher adored richard from the first time they met, and as the years went by he came to consider him more of a dad than he ever did the one who left. that’s probably why he didn’t mourn when his father passed suddenly and unexpectedly the summer he turned ten. the following summer, winnie and richard married, and both her and fletcher completely rid themselves of the man who walked out on them when they both changed their last name from his to richard’s - duncan.

when richard moved in, he’d brought an electric guitar and a sparse record collection with him. these were fletcher’s first real introduction to music. he dove in head first. there’s no telling how many evenings they sat in the living room, records playing, or fletcher practicing on the guitar until he was caught up with his dad’s guitar skills. turns out, he was actually a bit of a natural. after he’d mastered his first instrument, he moved onto another. his mother - who’d been a classically trained, lifetimes ago - taught him to the best of her ability on a keyboard they got from a yard sale. he spent hours at a time in record stores. championship vinyl had always been richard’s favorite, and it wasn’t long until it was his favorite too. consuming music wasn’t enough, though. by the time he was in high school, fletcher was writing his own songs; creating his own music. of course - none of it was ever remotely up to par with the songs he kept discovering, but it didn’t matter. him and two kindred spirits he met at school formed a band, performing covers and the stuff he wrote. to afford actual gig gear - not that they ever booked many of those - fletcher applied for a part time job the only place he could think to; championship vinyl. though he'd been a regular for the better part of a decade by that time, he was still in disbelief and awe when he got the job.

fletcher thrived at championship. he took on all the shifts his schedule would allow him, and even skipped class to cover for anyone that asked. even when he was off the clock, he’d hang around. if he wasn’t flicking through new inventory or catching up with the whoever was at work, he’d be sitting on the rooftop with his guitar, a pen and a roll of receipt paper - scratching down song ideas and testing out new material. things were looking up; he was a creatively fulfilled high school senior with a job he loved, parents that supported- and loved him unconditionally, and he’d just been accepted into nyu. therefore, it rocked his world when his dad stopped by during one of his shifts, only to collapse while fletcher had his back turned to find a rare vinyl he’d set aside for him as a surprise. 

the diagnosis was a death sentence. months flew by in the blink of an eye, and he watched the only dad he’d ever truly known wither away before his eyes. weeks shy of a year to the date of the diagnosis, on the day richard duncan passed away, his son brought the old record player and the by now weathered records from the brooklyn apartment to the hospital room. he drew his last breath surrounded by the music and the family he loved.

not recently having gone through the same kind of world crumbling sorrow and the revelation about not wasting away and following your dreams that walks that’s bound to follow, his bandmates weren’t all that keen on the plan fletcher presented them with; movin to la and making it in music. really making it. with one of three members hellbent on leaving, the band broke up. they never could agree on a name, anyway. he turned in his resignation at championship, and jokingly promised james namsen to not come back until he’d won a grammy. winnie, though heartbroken to first lose the love of her life, and now having her son move away, had nothing but support and encouragement to offer when he announced he’d be dropping out of college to pursue music.

the first two years, nothing happened. he was living and working in downtown la; the apartment he shared with four roommates was just shy of being a shoebox, and the franchise record  store he eventually scored a job at lacked the soul and the hum of energy he was used to from championship back in new york. just as ambition and hope was wearing thin, things were starting to look up for him. he was meeting the right people in the right places, at the right times. after opening for a few up and coming acts, he was approached by a manager, who in turn introduced him to a few labels. though he was very aware he wasn’t a strong vocalist, he was confident in himself as a musician and a songwriter, and it seemed so was the internationally renowned label that ended up offering him a contract. his first single dropped not even a year later, soon followed by his debut album.

though his star was slowly rising, the album made only a miniscule splash. he toured it as an opening act and played a handful of shows on each coast. going back into the studio to work on the next album felt different. making the first one hadn’t felt authentic. not the process, nor the result. he’d been too agreeable; too eager to please and too eager to show he was worth everyone’s time and money. this time around, he was more assertive and demanded more control over the creative process. less co-writers were brought in, and he now had a say in which producers he worked with. his sophomore album released to generally positive reviews and ratings, but it seemed that would be it. then, almost over night, his shit was doing numbers. big numbers. 

sure - his label was running some promo for his sophomore album, but it seemed most people were catching wind of his stuff by word of mouth. people were actually buying his albums. both of them. when tickets to his second headline tour went on sale, they sold out in days. dates were added and venues were upgraded to answer the growing demand for tickets as more and more people found his music. he was playing famous venues now; legendary venues. festivals with hundreds of thousands of attendees. all over the country. all over the world. if he didn’t have a microphone or a guitar in his hand, he had a beer. or vodka. maybe whiskey. sometimes a joint, sometimes pills. he was at parties, then he was hosting parties. then he was at parties hosted in his honor. for the first time in his life, he had money. hard, real, fuck you money. he paid off the student loan he’d racked up during his one year stint at nyu, and the mortgage on the apartment he’d grown up in. he bought a house in beverly hills, and a two story apartment in brooklyn - both of which had shelves custom made for the gilded statuettes and trophies declaring him to be the best in a slew of categories. he’d done it. he was twenty-six and on top of the world. invincible. and then his mom's heart gave out.

for the three years that followed, his career suffered as he partied harder. friends he’d known for years disappeared, and were replaced with new faces that all blurred together. there were scandals, but they too were all a blur - leaked pictures and videos; shows he decided last minute he didn’t wanna do; shows he couldn’t do because he showed up too far gone to stand upright. people who got too close to him on one of the bad days, who’s faces he scarred forever. arrests, and settlements made outside of court. the label was getting antsy too, and when it passed the two year mark of the last time he’d set foot in the studio, his team - headed by the same manager that been with him through it all; that’d seen potential and believed in him all those years ago - pleaded with him to get help. begrudgingly, fletcher agreed. after a few months at rehab, he returned - clean, and determined to get back to work. the process was longwinded and intense, but the finished product was, in his eyes, solid gold. and - luckily? surprisingly? - the world at large agreed.

he toured the album with dates booked at relatively smaller venues this time around, but everywhere was packed full to the brim with people. throughout the time working on the album he’d been doing okay; staying sober and surrounding himself with good intentioned people. but being back on the road took a toll on him he hadn’t expected, and it didn’t take long for him to turn to alcohol when it was so easily accessible all around him, at all times. still, things were fine, and he was even relearning to appreciate the electric energy of performing live in front of an audience. to celebrate the last show of the us leg of the tour, the label threw an afterparty for the band, the team, the crew, and their friends. as people were starting to leaving the venue, fletcher sent some members of his band and a couple of their friends ahead with a key to his suite at a hotel nearby, while he thanked the label executives that’d been at the show. when he showed up, a glass was shoved into his hand, and as the party picked back up, someone got out the pills they’d kept at the bottom of their pocket all night. when offered, fletcher - on top of the world once more - accepted. 

someone snitched. and to the media, no less. when confronted by his team, he denied it. after being open about his struggle to overcome addiction, something like this would be damning for the reputation he’d rebuilt over the last two years. which is why he lied through his teeth. but then the videos from the suite appeared online, and his ruse was up. the rest of the tour was cancelled, and after completing a thirty day program, he was back in brooklyn.

it took some convincing, but he eventually went along with the ‘find back to your roots by returning to where it all started’ plan his team had cooked up. he also agreed to let someone else run his social media accounts for the time being. how his manager had gotten him a job at championship, fletcher didn’t know. he suspected a monthly bribe the size of his paycheck and then some was involved. but then again, he’d never known james namsen to be that kind of guy. for the first few weeks, he showed up for his shifts - sometimes on time, sometimes not - kept his head down, tried to engage with as few customers and co-workers as possible, then ditched as soon as he was off the clock. but there’d always been something special about the record store on the corner of bedford and sterling. soon enough, he began occasionally going up to the rooftop once his shift was over. approaching customers to offer his service before they approached him. show up early to catch up with whoever was working the shift before him. if he was having a particularly good day, he’d stop by to hang around even if he wasn’t on the schedule. he was well aware he wasn’t always easy to be around - years of living the high life and putting up walls having made him cynical, and standoffish, and discourteous. even if the boy he’d been when he walked out of there years ago was long gone, championship vinyl had stayed the same. and though fletcher’s yet to admit it, being back felt like being home. 

[masonscig]

otp tag

mason x detective sofía olmos

i was tagged by both @masonsfreckles and @havennly ! thank you so much !

not tagging anyone but if you wanna do this, take this as a sign!

[putting it under the cut bc it’s long and there’s some nsfw content lmao. also some of this is subject to change bc i’m still fleshing them out !]

––––

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

oh definitely mason bc he gets annoyed at everything, including if sofía is being too sympathetic (i mean look at the end of book 2 lmao he literally rolls his eyes at her if she says him being in the hospital bed is her fault)

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

sofía definitely lmao because she thinks it might get him to commit and it does not !

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither. they need each other too much

who trashes the house?

mason. sofía is a bit of a neat freak with her apartment (not her work space)

do either of them get physical?

oh no - he’d take a bullet for her (tho he won’t admit it). he’d never do that

how often do they argue/disagree?

usually petty disagreements at the beginning bc they’re learning more about each other - over time they share looks of knowing and instantly understand each other.

who is the first to apologize?

sofía to a fault

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

mason but it starts switching as sofía gains more sexual confidence

any kinks?

i love how this early on in the ask game it just jumps into the horny shit LMAO with that being said, yes :) KSDFJKSDKJF nothing like too crazy but stuff like hair pulling, choking, dirty talk, edging, blindfolds, basic bondage, spanking, praising.. that type of stuff lmao

who has the strangest desires?

honestly sofía. mason’s tried essentially everything he’s ever wanted to try, so he knows what he likes. and sofía hasn’t had the most ~daring~ partners lmao so she asks things she thinks is very crazy and strange (for her) and mason is like “....ok sure” SDJKFKJSDJFK

who’s dominant in bed?

mason. tho he does enjoy being dominated as well 

is head ever in the equation?

*see book 2* LMAO but fr i wouldn’t say it’s like worshipping but yea it happens often <3

if so, who is better at performing it?

mason at first, since he’s way more experienced and sofía is a bit more timid, but over time she wins !

ever had sex in public?

yes even though pre-ub meeting she would’ve literally never dreamed of doing it out of embarrassment, but he brings her out of her shell sexually. again, *see book 2* LMAO

who moans the most?

i’d honestly hc mason as being more vocal at first bc he’s a heavy talker in bed, but since like i said, he brings her out of her shell, she quickly matches him. so ig equal later on in the relationship !

who leaves the most marks?

long lasting marks? definitely mason. seeing marks on her after they hook up and she’s desperately trying to hide it with her hair, a scarf, makeup, etc, excites the hell out of him. but in terms of short term? definitely sofía. but they heal quick

who is the more experienced of the two?

mason ofc KJSDFKJSDFKJ

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

they definitely fuck, but poor sofía is secretly hoping it’ll turn into a more intimate session. bc as of book 2 she’s taking any of his even remotely gentle actions as a sign LMAO poor baby

how long do they usually last?

depends on how long they’ve been away from each other. either it’s frantic and rough and quick or it’s longer and passionate and prolonged.

rough or soft?

rough - she doesn’t mind that though because she’s never really had it that way. i can’t imagine bobby was skilled at sex if he was that bad at kissing LMAO. and before that it was clumsy teenage sex so she’s just glad to be doing something that she gets actual pleasure from LMAO

is protection used?

even though sofía is strict asf about wearing protection she kind of threw that out the window when she started hooking up w a vampire LMAO [me saying lmao like 6 times under the sex portion of this bc i feel like i’m being too horny on main and am weird ab it KJSDFJKSDFJK]

does it ever get boring?

maybe for mason if he thinks its too vanilla but he’d be very vocal ab being bored if it ever happened

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

not necessarily a place together, but i have absolutely no doubt that mason’s called her in the middle of something important and tried having phone sex with her and she’s flustered as fuck trying to keep it together and he’s just... talking to her like he does and getting her all worked up. since he absolutely livesssss to fluster her !

i have no doubt that they fucked while she was supposed to be patrolling LMFAO. probably more than once to be honest. more than twice. idk let’s just say that she def looks forward to patrolling with ub more than she used to

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children/or have children?

hell no

if so, how many children do they want/have?

none

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

sofía does and it takes him a longggg time to warm up to it

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

mason of course LMAO dirty talk in the ear here, an ass grab there. ya know. that kind of stuff KJSFKKJFD

who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

mason again ! sofía is definitely curvaceous in the ass area [yes she has a fat ass and she deserves it] and he Does Not want to keep his hands off of her.

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

sofía is hot natured and it bugs the shit out of mason so he would grumble and move away... if he stayed :/

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

stargazing! tbh i hc mason as lowkey really enjoying astronomy bc space is so quiet and calm and dark LMAO his ideal place <3 SDKJFKSJD

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

he doesn’t really prefer cuddling but if so, definitely after sex before the afterglow wears off

SLEEPING.

who snores?

sofía snores VERY softly and it annoys the shit out of mason but then after a while he can’t sleep without it bc she���s like his own personal noise box

if both do, who snores the loudest?

just sofía snores !

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

share a bed (reluctantly at first)

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

so they always cozy up with each other at first, but since mason doesn’t need that much sleep in the first place he moves away when he’s uncomfortable/wakes up

what do they wear to bed?

sofía usually wears a tank top, free boobs it, and wears patterned pajama shorts that she’s had for years (mason always hates the pattern of the shorts bc he thinks they’re hideous, but he loves the way they hug her hips and ass). he’s usually shirtless, which is definitely weird since his senses get really overwhelmed. but the feeling of being pressed up against her and hearing her heartbeat blocks out any of his discomfort.

are either of them insomniacs?

sofía is a horrible insomniac. she’s usually up early and goes to bed late. she’s convinced she can run on a couple hours of sleep and coffee, but usually crashes on her days off and sleeps for like 12+ hours.

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

not to be h*rny but i mean usually if she can’t sleep he wears her out LMAO

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

usually she wraps her arms around him and he drapes his arms around her.

who wakes up with bed hair?

both of them LMAO

who wakes up first?

mason. he’s usually gone first, too.

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

mason would never, but sofía definitely does it for him depending on if he’s injured or angry at her

what is their favourite sleeping position?

she loves being the big spoon sometimes but mason much prefers being pressed up against her back, so she’s usually the little spoon. normally after he leaves, she sleeps on her stomach.

do they set an alarm each night?

she sets an alarm for herself but it’s purely a vibrating alarm because she’s scared she’s gonna hurt mason’s ears.

who has nightmares?

sofía. definitely. she hid it at first but started opening up to him about it and now without a word, he can tell what she’s seen, so he wordlessly comforts her.

can a television be found in their bedroom?

nope ! sofía is weird about always feeling productive and having her tv in her room makes her feel like she’s wasting the day away (even if she rots on the couch all weekend)

who has ridiculous dreams?

also sofía. mason doesn’t dream much in general, but she has the most wild dreams that are always completely out of left field. sometimes he’s in them and he can tell with the way she looks at him the following morning what type of dream it was KSDJFKJDFK

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

hmm, i’d have to say sofía again. she’s not a wild sleeper, but she does tend to lift her leg and tuck her arm under her head when she’s not cuddling him.

who makes the bed?

mason never makes the bed LMAO and she’s a neat freak

what time is bed time?

they’re both night owls, but just whenever she passes out from exhaustion mainly

any routines/rituals before bed?

sofía has a whole skincare routine since she wears makeup daily. 

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

mason’s always grumpy, but sofía never wakes up angry unless she was woken up when she thought she’d have more time to sleep 

WORK.

who is the busiest?

both are pretty busy all the time, a fact that annoys the hell out of both

who rakes in the highest income?

um well mason doesn’t ever want for anything bc the agency provides them with everything. i mean cigs are expensive as hell so idk ??? i’m assuming he makes more than her.

are any of them unemployed?

nope !

who takes the most sick days?

mason. usually only if he knows he can get away with it bc he wouldnt wanna deal with griping

what are their jobs?

human liaison / detective and an agent

who sucks up to their boss?

sofía KSDFJSJKDF she sucks up to the captain

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

sofía may be a hard worker but she’s usually a few minutes late since she has to look good

who stresses the most?

sofía ofc lmao she can get pretty high strung over certain situations!

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

mason (confirmed by mishka) doesn’t have aspirations past being on ub, so i think he’s fine where he is and he’s putting his talents to use. i think sofía didn’t care much for her job at all, but she was hoping being a detective was going to be a change. she was pretty aimless until unit bravo showed up, so i think she’s happy with her job now.

are they financially stable?

definitely! sofía paid off her student loans pretty diligently since wayhaven is a cheap place to live (i’m assuming) 

HOME.

who does the washing?

sofía bc like i said she’s a neat freak

who takes out the trash?

mason bc he ‘hates hearing her whine’ but he’s being nice

who does the ironing?

sofía bc she’s always looking nice and fresh and mason is wearing casual clothes that are prob wrinkled as hell

who does the cooking?

sofía ! she’s an enthusiastic cook but she’s still learning. she messes up a lot but she loves trying new recipes

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

mason would purposefully burn down the house. arsonist vibes

who is messier?

mason. a lot less possessions but somehow cares less about where they are in the house.

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither? ig?

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

mason bc he just strips and throws his shit everywhere

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

probably both.

who answers the telephone?

sofía ! she’s way more professional

who mows the lawn?

god could mason even handle the sound of a lawn mower? i’m assuming they’d live somewhere remote and not that grassy to avoid that LMAO

who does the vacuuming?

sofía ! neat freak 

who does the groceries?

sofía again ! she’s very much an adult who does shit on her own and doesn’t really need mason’s help SDJKDFJ plus she likes feeling productive and running errands !

who takes the longest to shower?

sofía again – mason showers but i mean.... it’s painful when it happens so. sofía is one of those people that shaves her entire body methodically, exfoliates, all of that shit

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

no because mason isn’t a huge spender but sofía does like to splurge sometimes. but it’s never enough to like wear their pockets thin. they live comfortably !

how many cars do they own?

probably 2! mason really just needs his for the cover since.... he can ya know.... just run everywhere LMAO

what’s their song?

well mason hates music LMAO but

do they live in the city or in the country?

country. mason couldn’t handle it! close though that sofía could still visit the city and get her fill, but far away enough that mason is content.

do they own their home or do they rent?

hmm in wayhaven definitely an apartment at first ! idk if mason’s huge on homeowning. i mean does he rly care? if its dark and quiet he’s happy

do they enjoy their surroundings?

sofía felt stuck and purposeless till mason showed up. she likes it a lot more now, but mason is still reluctant. they both tolerate it for each other, though.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

mason is protective as hell so he’s worrying ab her even if he doesn’t wanna admit it. and sofía is just worrying if he’s actually thinking about her or not. and she’s missing him of course. but also i think that overall mason could kind of go about his life but sofía couldn’t if they were away you know? she’d be reminded of him constantly but he could hold himself together.

where did they first meet?

at her office !

who spends the most money when out shopping?

def sofía.

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

hmm if this is an innuendo, mason. if this is just being flashy, def sofía. she’s got a couple expensive items she wears on the regular.

any mental issues?

sofía is generally pretty anxious and a huge empath so she can fall into depressive episodes quite easily. and she’s definitely traumatized from murphy

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

mason definitely laughs at sofía when she falls KSJDFKSDJKF

who’s terrified of bugs?

sofía’s scared, not terrified ! she would rather save a bigger bug like a spider instead of killing them

who kills the spiders around the house?

mason. he begrudgingly stomps on them if sofía chickens out of saving it. BUT after the first couple times, he just sighs and gathers it in his hands before letting it go outside.

do they have any fears for their future?

sofía is afraid of mason finding a replacement for her since she’s terirified he doesn’t care about her the same way she does as him. she’s scared she’ll get stuck in a rut again. she’s scared she’ll come face to face with murphy again. she’s scared of coming across another supernatural like murphy. she’s scared of a LOT of things. mason, however, is more nervous about protecting her.

their favourite place?

rooftops, cliffsides, anywhere they can stargaze away from the sounds of the town. and mason’s bedroom bc he has a lot more ~things~ to offer there LMAO

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

sofía would, but she’d never actually do it bc she knows mason wouldn’t like it

who pays the bills?

hmm both of them? not sure

who’s the tallest?

mason ! sofía is ab 5′2 / 5′3 give or take

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

mason definitely. and he’s done it before and he’ll do it over and over LMAO

who wanders around in their underwear?

definitely sofía. she doesn’t have to try hard to get his attn but she reserves a few lace thongs JUST for that occasion

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

sofía and mason hates it LMAO he prefers when she just hums along. it’s wayyyy more soothing

what do they tease each other about?

mason teases sofía about blushing so much and she teases him about his smoking habit

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

sofía at mason, definitely KSDFKJSDKJF she sees his henley with the neckline stretched out, wrinkled, with some cigarette burns and she just. gets so mad KJSDFJKSDJKF she’s so stylish compared to him

who crushed first?

sofía definitely had a crush first, but mason was physically attracted to her first

any alcohol or substance related problems?

nope ! sofía enjoys alcohol but nothing extreme.

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

sofía, definitely LMAO she has a little bit of a party girl in her that doesn’t come out that often but when it does....

who swears the most?

mason, usually. but when sofía’s upset, she has the mouth of a sailorrrrr

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