#i lovwe it so fuckin much

[ask-homestuck-shenaniquins]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

"Merry christmas! And happy h9lidays!"

"(What in the w9rld are y9u tw9 d9ing???)"

"(HAHAHA-)"

*"(CR9NUS!)"*

[sobredunia]

What if I cried. What then

call my girl the bit the way i’m committed to her

[casanovasadmiral]

Hey Cro, long time no see. What's one thing you admire about each of your signmates? And what's something that annoys you about each?

oh man. tough ask. vwell- orphys is good at pretty much fuckin ewverything. i can put any mechanical project, instrument, paintbrush, ships vwheel, you name it in his hands and hes gonna wvork it. sometimes though i vwish he wvould set aside his temper and impatience, it usually ends up making him ruin something he vwas wvorking on. i hope that's vwhere wve differ as i get older and become more like him.

and eridan. sheesh vwhere to start.. this kid man. he's gotta be the smartest guy out there. he just absorbs ewverything and really lovwes to research and find knowvledge. chemistry in his laboratory. chemistry! LA8ORATORY!! i mean come on. but he is also so, so naivwe. he beliewves in certain stories that just arent true. vwants to be like them. but its destructiwve.

[fandomchaosposts]

If my sources are correct I fucking love Georgia

[dottores]

243 spoilers

before i rant about waka and benkei i just-

LOOOOOK AT MY FUCKING MAN HES SO FINE I LOVW HIM SO MUCH HELP IM LITERALLYNO ON MY FUCKING KNEES I WANT TO SUCK HIS DICK SO BAD WANT HIM TO FUCK ME IN THAT UNIFORM IM DOWN SO FUXKIN HORRENDOUS IM LIRERALLT GONNA CUM HES SO PRETTY HARU FUCKIN RAIL ME RIGHT NOW IM LITERALLY BEFGING ONNKY KNEWS FOR YOU

[badlydrawncronus]

CA: tuna you of all trolls should knowv howv hard it is to express emotions sometimes

CA: i did some bad fuckin shit to you back before i came to realize you deservwed as much respect as any other troll and im sorry i did that

CA: wvhether or not you think im your cronus im damn sure i am and fuck i wvish i wvas better beforehand and that i didnt make you feel like fuckin shit

CA: mit i wvant you to listen wvhen i fuckin say this. i nevwer stopped absolutely adoring you. sure i felt like you wverent you after the accident but i lovwed you nonetheless and im fuckin sorry howv i showved it

CA: i wvish i could take back the hurt i gavwe you but i cant so ill havwe to re-gain your trust

CA: soon as you aint high as balls ill let you in if you wvant and wve can talk it out, howvs that feel? totally platonic human style feelings jam it out

(BDM) CRONUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS LET ME GET YOU HIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

CA: im too cool for drugs babygirl

CA: you ain't evwer gettin in here. try your hardest

[asktheseacowvboys]

...

[goodomens-goodomenseverywhere]

BIG FUCKIN LOKI EP 5 THOUGHTS (spoilers ahead…obviously)

-big smoke babey???

-Sylvie's curly hair 🥺🥺🥺

-judge renslayer I don’t fuckin trust you one goddamn bit

-WHY WOULD SHE FICKING TRUST YOU FUCK YOU

-alligator Loki is everything to me

-"All I know is I got pruned and I woke up here, and now I’m surrounded by variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange” I LOVE YOUFJENDK

- I am in love with alligator loki

-buff Loki sarcastic ALSO HOLY SHIT???? KID LOKI FUCKIN KILLED THOR?? KESUS FUCKING CHRIST

-TINY THORNSCJSKDJ

-”why do you want to return to the TVA”

“Did you leave your glorious purpose there?” JFKSKFKD GOT EM

-tHEY JUST CONVENIENTLY HAVE A VOID SOACECRAFT LYING AROUND OKAY BITCH GOOD FUCKIN TIMING RAVONNA

-fuckin called it bitch

-"do you have any good memories?” Fuck you ravonna

-HOLY SHIT SHE PRUNED HERSELF

-marvel if you pull this selfcest bs when Loki and Sylvia reunite I’ll go rabid

-HAPPY GIGGLE ALLOGATOR LOKI IN POOL

-AALOGATOR LOKI ATE THE BEIGHBORS CATDKSJCKSJ

-classic Loki is the only smart bitch

-so….Loki’s timeline continues? HE SIRVIVES AFTER INFINITY WAR???

-Loki:*rousing speech*

The other Lokis: no ❤️

-okay so what’s the beef between these Loki groups

-THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL WHATD SHE DO

-is it mobius

-pls tell me it’s mobius

-ITS MOVIUS ITS MOBIUS ITS MOBIUS IM GONNA CRY ITS MY BOY

-I’m crying real tears i haven’t felt this much serotonin since I watched Save The Cat from shera s5 I had to stand up and walk around my house but I can’t DO THAT BECAUSE ITS 3 am

-I walked around my room I had to pause for a bit

-moving on

-“you should be careful just jumping into a strangers car like that” I LOVE YOU YOU FUCKIN BASTARD

-“watch out!”

“I see it I see it”

“Really because you’re driving RIGHT towards it”

“God you really are one of you”

-THE MONIUS/SYLVIE INTERACTION IVE BEEN CRAVING

-loki veing super fucking done with his own variants is SO FUNNY

-TBEY JUST KEEP BACKSTABBING WACH TOHERRKDIFJSJ

-"WHY RHE HELL IS THERE AN ALLIGATOR IN HERE"

"HES A LOKI"

-HE BIT OFD HIS FUCKING HANDKFODKCKS

-KID LOKI HOLDING ALLIGATOR LOKI LIKE A BABYYYYY

-our Loki trying ro sneak out of the Loki brawl

-"and whenever one of us dares to fix ourselves they send us here to die" cries?? Ur so little

-sylvie I love u but girl

-"cmon Mobius let's just drive into the thing that EATS MATTER"

-"just bc its not complicated dossnt mwan it's bad"

"doesn't mean it's good"

-THE ALLIHATIE IS PRAYINGDJCKSJD

-did the tva ORUNE THE SHIO???

-better yet did they ARRESTTHE SHIP??

-many questions

-REUNION EEUNION LOKIUS REUNION

-IM GONNA CRY

-I LOVW RHEM

-CRIWS

-"US AS AN ALLIGATOE"

-ALL QUESTIONING THEIR PLANSJCISJFKS

-sylvje being like "oh my God THAY was your plan"

-mobius I love you

-I wanted a better ruinion marvel I better get SOMETHINF

-UR TELLING ME LOKI ALMOST CRIED WHEN MOBIUS WAS ORUNED AND HE JUST GIVES HIM A HALF ASSED 'MOBIUS!' WHEN HE SEES HIM AGAIN??? OKAY

-ravonna what r u up to

-B-15 NOOO

-I want more b-15 content

-also she's hot

-ur telling me Mobius read about literally everything Loki related and doesn't remember the ALIGATOR???

-I am loving the Lokis and Mobius interactions

-questioning alligator Loki on whether or not he's Loki

-"HE CARWS ABOUT YOU" LOKIUS??

-pls dont

-pls dont share the blanket

-okay cool no selfcest

-pls

-this is awkwaed

-FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS

-God pls just admit you're friends

-theyre sharing the blanket OK fine

-judging his blanket conjuring skills I see

-i am actually appreciating the friendly nudges I do want them to be close

-nebermind I take it back

-THE DAEK ASTERRRRR

-HEY BITCH

-sylvie I believe in you

-loki you stupid bitch

-WE'RE SPLIRTING UP LOKI AND MOBIUS AGAIN?? HOMOPHOBES

-im mad

-I better see more of them I STG ILL GO FERAL

-HUG HUG HUG

-THEY HUGGED I'M GONNA CRY BUT STILL

-HE CALLED MOBIUS 'MY FRIEND' GOODBYE

-I LOVE THEM

-sob

-stilk mad abour them splitting up

-alioth is baby right? Can we all agree?

-loki if u sacrficie yourself

-bitch

-OMG AZIRAPHALE MOMENT

-FLAMINH SWORD???

-hot

-SO FUCKING TRUE CLASSIC LOKI LOVE U BITCH

-HW JUST CREATED AN ENTIRE ASGADD ILLUSION

-LOKI I BELIEVE IN U

-NOOOO DONR EAT CLASSIC LOKI

-OH HES HELPING??

-ope

-nvm

-GOT EM

-FUCK YEAAHHHHY

-K so what's all this then

[microcroft]

me: i fuckin lovs the gays i love and support the lgbtqs so much every time i see the gays happy i feel so fuckin warm

my brain: but youre a gay does that mean u lovw and support yourself? huh? you think you deserve happiness??

me: [crying] who the fuck are you

[graveyard-mlm]

i wanna be gayfor a bit ignoee me im so sorry if you actually like. read this

GOD I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIENDDD god i cant wait until i can hold his hand and kiss him and cuddle up close to him at night and to look over after i make my dumb little jokes and See him smile and thwn fuckin KISS KISS KISS !!!!!

brain goop can only think of showering boyfriend in affection !!! god i want to make him smile and make him happy i just love him so much GODDDD i cant wait to so small domestic things with him... and i cant wait to fall asleep next to him, wake up next to him andjust GODD i want him here so bad to make my gay little jokes with god hes so fun to be around hws so amazing qnd cool and i Lovw him and i wanan kiss him and just...Hang Out with him homoerotically.

i want him to show me his plants and talk about them for hours... i want to see him happy, god, (if he feels bad for it ill just talk about my bone collection and furbys in return probably LOL DJZJSJDK) i love himm, GOD I LOVE HIM SO MYCHH

[wickedschmicked]

Good thing i dont have to wait❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@consensusalienated

i can’t wait until i’m in my own little apartment lying on the couch with my pet and the love of my life beside me

[carnivalsoration]

Cronus Gets Tortured, and then Learns Some Stuff about Boundaries and Identity

I’m going to start all this off with an ooc description of things, because this gets pretty intense in bits. A tldr with added trigger warning, if you will. 

Ringleader messages Cronus about being an insensitive prick regarding the ‘gutterblood rights’ post, then the conversation moves on to lusus death (a la, what was going on with Meulin at the time, though she’s not mentioned directly at all), how wasteful Alternia is, and then on to torture. During that talk, there’s a lot of mentions of parent/animal death, then referring to people as objects that can be disposed of, in an abstract sense, and then obviously, Harming and Killing people, for Fun and Dubious Amounts of Profit. 

Ringleader convinces Cronus it would be no big deal to torture him for a bit, and doesn’t take no for an answer. (Manipulation, coercing, lack of respect for boundaries.) And then they meet up! Cronus is waterboarded, Ringleader is way lighter about it than he really should be, primarily in the confession he forces Cronus to make, and then they make out! Weird, but these two are who they are.

Cronus presses more, hoping for sex to happen. Ringleader says no. Cronus says ‘but whyyyy’ and Ringleader gets pissed about it. A conversation about consent and rape occurs, that leads into highblood standards, respect, and who Cronus wants to be and what he values. 

This is a Very dense log, y'all, with a lotta intense stuff. Two kinda shitty people meeting, and one of them trying to make the other Less shitty, with some admittedly poor judgement. Overall, a Dubiously happy, or at least thought provoking, ending.

Anyway! If that sounds like you would enjoy reading it, read on! If not, you now know a general plot synopsis and can avoid reading it while still knowing all relevant details! If the chat log appeals to you but the roleplay itself doesn’t, you can read that too! 

carnivalsoration honk

vwarlordvwanderlust hey there, babe!

carnivalsoration :o)

vwarlordvwanderlust vwhat's up?

carnivalsoration i will make out with you if you promise not to reblog that gutterblood pride post again.

vwarlordvwanderlust see, THIS is a bold and innovwativwe method more people should try.

carnivalsoration hahahahaha is that a yes

vwarlordvwanderlust you also could'vwe just asked. but too late, no take backs. hell yeah.

carnivalsoration hahahahahahahaha

vwarlordvwanderlust (also that's a joke. there are take backs. it's all just jokes. )

carnivalsoration good boy, thats a good ad on

vwarlordvwanderlust haha. i do my best.

carnivalsoration :o) i could explain why i don't want you to say it, if ya wanna hear it or you could guess, since i'm kinda curious

vwarlordvwanderlust i just figured it vwas annoying. you specified that particular post, and not the vword, is it the vword.

carnivalsoration it's the word and the implication it's. it's just the whole thing, brother the whole damn thing

vwarlordvwanderlust yeah? vwhat implication?

carnivalsoration for you this is an inconvenience for a bit. for other people, this is their life. you don't earn the right ta use that word by your glorified lowblood tourism

vwarlordvwanderlust huh.

> So he's not *that* Alternian. 🤔

carnivalsoration > Ooo motherfucker.

do ya get what i mean? you can't have pride about somethin that you're not even really a part of.

vwarlordvwanderlust it vwas a joke. but yeah for sure, OBVWIOUSLY.

carnivalsoration and what about it is funny? like, can you just explain it to me?

vwarlordvwanderlust it's okay to not get jokes.

carnivalsoration no, i wanna get it.

vwarlordvwanderlust it's just a dumb lowvblood thing people say, you knowv, that i'm saying, because i'm kinda a lowvblood, for nowv.

carnivalsoration huh. and that's... funny?

vwarlordvwanderlust > This is the worst thing that's ever happened.

i mean. it's just one of those things.

carnivalsoration aight.

vwarlordvwanderlust look they can't all be vwinners!!!!!!!!

carnivalsoration you reblogged it though, you thought it was pretty good

vwarlordvwanderlust vwe all havwe different tastes. anyvways.

carnivalsoration yeah. what would you do if ya lusus died?

vwarlordvwanderlust > Weird foreplay but okay. > Clowns.

be sad.

did you vwant a longer ansvwer, or did you just leavwe.

carnivalsoration oh, oops. i got distracted. but like. how much would it change your life

vwarlordvwanderlust a lot. but i mean. i'll need to leavwe him anyvways.

carnivalsoration fun fact. i killed my lusus

vwarlordvwanderlust oh. vwhy?

carnivalsoration cuz that was the tradition at the time. indigos wouldn't get orphaned before adulthood on the condition that when they became a subjug, they'd kill their lusus themselves. and so that's what happened. i hella slaughtered him. it was a mess hahaha

vwarlordvwanderlust haha. yeah.

carnivalsoration i'm just talkin at this point

vwarlordvwanderlust vwhy? i mean don't get me vwrong. i lovwe our talks.

carnivalsoration i just ponder things sometimes. i'm old, i got a lotta memories to peruse what's your alternia like?

vwarlordvwanderlust big question, chief. dunno howv to ansvwer that.

carnivalsoration how often do people murder their lusus

vwarlordvwanderlust i don't knowv. probably not a ton. seems like a vwaste.

carnivalsoration hahaha remember what i said the other night? alternia likes nothin quite so much as waste

vwarlordvwanderlust alternia is cutthroat and efficient. may not alvways be pretty, but hey. it gets the job done.

carnivalsoration hahahaha. wrong. healthcare that involves replacing limbs instead of mending. killin people for any old thing and raisin all new people, like i said. you coulda imprisoned them and got free labor. killin reproductive failures. because you can still make THEM work. that ain't efficiency.

vwarlordvwanderlust that's efficient! you don't need to deal vwith upkeep if you toss a thing in the garbage vwhen it breaks, same vwith people. mm.

carnivalsoration efficiency is using a tool as long as it's useful. killin other planets rather than enslaving them. using lowbloods as fodder in just the stupidest ways. you could have them maneuver big heavy things or control animals at the front line or whatever. also. mechanical limbs cost a lot in upkeep too, just as a bonus destroying rather than fixing is just a thing. it's all brute force casual sadism, gloating over enemies rather than just offin em. imagine all the hot babes that were offed cuz they broke an ankle. or cuz they were kinda stupid once or they puked killin somethin the first time, which is another way alternia wastes life. beaurocracy is a HUGE waste of time plus it makes ya wanna beat your brains out with the stack of paperwork ya have to do land and sea trolls in competition, which wastes highblood life on dumbass feuds underfeedin slaves and workin them to death way before their natural lifespan. food ain't that expensive

vwarlordvwanderlust evwery system has SOME flawvs.

carnivalsoration yeah, but alternia's is that it just loves waste it fuckin can't get enough of it fuck, i tortured and killed thousands of people when i coulda tortured them and then put them to work .... probably hundreds of thousands.... i wonder if i broke a million

vwarlordvwanderlust vwell. i assumed that vwas, you knowv. pleasure, not business. but vwe all havwe flavws.

carnivalsoration oh, it's both. the fact i did it for fun doesn't change the fact i was definitely expected to do it

vwarlordvwanderlust vwell the system gets stuff done.

carnivalsoration oh, the number of troll screams i heard... the number of crimes confessed.... so many confessed to crimes that we found out they didn't even commit! just to make the agony stop

vwarlordvwanderlust the probability of false confessions is actually ovwerplayed by certain rebellious type groups, it's still mostly good intel.

> You should know, you consume imperial propaganda religiously!

carnivalsoration .... i .......... i tortured them myself all the time three a night, at least for centuries there is a LOT of false confessions a LOT of time wasted researching the falsities

vwarlordvwanderlust is it most of them?

carnivalsoration oh yeah. like 70% of the info you get from any one person is likely to be false. sometimes more, sometimes less, and about 90% of the time, the truths they do tell aren't worth your time to even pursue

vwarlordvwanderlust so vwe need to be more selectivwe in vwho vwe torture and vwhat vwe ask.

> Bold of you to say we, there.

carnivalsoration i'm kinda curious where you got the info about how false confessions are overplayed OH SHIT. I SHOULD HELP YOU GET USED TO TORTURE SOUNDS

vwarlordvwanderlust okay the tone of those tvwo messages is vwildly different.

carnivalsoration i just get excited sometimes

vwarlordvwanderlust it's pretty common knowvledge used to counter rebel propaganda. the real number is like 1%. ...here, i mean. i'm not accusing you of lying. hey, maybe our timelines are different.

carnivalsoration hey, if you're so sure, i bet i could do non-destructive torture on you and get you to confess to something that isn't true.

vwarlordvwanderlust that sounds bad and not fun!

carnivalsoration one hour. it isn't even that long. plus imagine how impressed people would be to know you can withstand torture

vwarlordvwanderlust > You start typing: "okay this is vwhy evweryone assumed you're a serial k" > Hm. That last one is a good message, though.

you don't think i can.

carnivalsoration i don't think you can

vwarlordvwanderlust you're the expert, i guess.

> God it would be so fucking impressive though.

carnivalsoration but i don't know for sure, since timeline differences. i don't wanna spread false information, specially if it helps rebels

vwarlordvwanderlust > GOD THAT'S SUCH A GOOD POINT.

okay but it's gotta vwait six nights.

carnivalsoration how come?

vwarlordvwanderlust not because i'm putting it off or anything, because i'm in a rustie body.

carnivalsoration why does that matter? the people most frequently tortured are lowbloods and i did say i wouldn't damage you. no knives, no electricity, nothin

vwarlordvwanderlust huh. yeah, i guess so. vwhat'll you do?

carnivalsoration waterboard

vwarlordvwanderlust so not to be ovwerly critical but like.

are you going to cause BRAIN DAMAGE. this seems vwild.

carnivalsoration i'm an expert, would i cause brain damage in one of my friends just for kicks? look up how long the average rustblood can hold their breath. gimme that long. not even an hour, just a little bit

vwarlordvwanderlust one to tvwo minutes... vwe'll say tvwo. or three or vwhatevwer idc. you think this is THAT bad???

carnivalsoration yeah

vwarlordvwanderlust > If this guy ends up torturing you to death, even the like one person who'd care, wouldn't care after reading this conversation. This would be a dumb fucking decision. This is so stupid, you'd absolutely regret this, there's only one answer you could plausibly give.

yeah, okay.

carnivalsoration aight. i'll give ya new coordinates

vwarlordvwanderlust not gonna be a cool outdoorsy forest vwibe for this torture sesh? hahaha

carnivalsoration we could move it to inside in my block and then make out

vwarlordvwanderlust nice!

carnivalsoration right?? you get tortured, come out fine, and then get to make out. what a fuckin nice night, right?

vwarlordvwanderlust okay it's not the night you think vwill happen though. you're just humoring me. but you're vwrong, so

carnivalsoration i'll make out with you either way

vwarlordvwanderlust it vwon't come up, haha.

carnivalsoration :o* [coords.txt]

vwarlordvwanderlust > Swoon.

😘❗

vwait.

carnivalsoration :o?

vwarlordvwanderlust okay no this isn't me pussying out i promise it's just. my transportalizer pass is for like. me. so is my id. saness and mituna and people just like. got here, though.

carnivalsoration mmmm. aight, what's ya coords? also tell me where a big bathtub is

vwarlordvwanderlust okay, sorry to be all annoying. oh uh. okay yeah.

carnivalsoration chill out, i ain't fussed

vwarlordvwanderlust > This is rough, on account of, you know. Being kicked out of your hive. But it's probably best not to do it there anyways, so off you go, trespassing on abandoned properties to scope out the bathrooms. Eventually you find something good enough, fairly recently vacated, and send coordinates.

> This is going to be cool.

carnivalsoration > Fucking Arrive! You are trying not to be too excited about being able to torture someone, but you're still pretty hype. You have all the things you'll need. Plenty of water to waste, a cloth to wrap around his face, your recording app open on your phone to record when he isn't looking.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You're only about as nervous as you were before you went hunting (and that turned out so great).

> You grin and wave. This time, you lack any purple in your outfit, and your eyes are red, and you don't have fins, but you look basically the same.

"Hey there, doll. Howv's it going?"

> It's not stalling if it's just a little bit.

carnivalsoration "Pretty damn good so far. You aight gettin your clothes wet, or should we take em off?" You raise eyebrows at him a few times. Waggle.

> Don't be too eager, Makara.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You pull on your shirt, thinking about no just kidding it's always good to take off your shirt. You're vulnerable enough without taking off your pants, though.

"This alright vwith you, doll?"

> You can eyebrow waggle with the best of them. Hitting on people is good.

carnivalsoration > Touch a tit. "Nice." Hitting on people Is good.

> You pull out a scrap of fabric and smile. "Lemme blindfold ya, brother." You're thinking about things that are ridiculous enough that it'll make it funny to confess to but that he won't be offended about later.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Nice.

> See, the thing is that this is such a good and valid sexy scenario if you forget about the torture that's definitely going to happen.

"Sure, yeah."

> You cooperate with a nervous laugh.

carnivalsoration > Blindfold: On. You make sure to adjust it just right, so he can't see you. "I'm going to lead you to the tub now," you say, softly.

> And you do, gently, and telling him to mind the ledge. All you really need is a drain. And water, of course. But you've got that.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Gotcha."

> It's surprisingly disorienting, being led around a fairly unfamiliar environment blindfolded, even for such a short distance. You're already feeling a little nervous about this.

> Maybe the professional torture guy who got people to say stuff that went against their own interests knows what he's talking about with regards to torture?

> But maybe you're just an unstoppable badass. Probably that second one.

carnivalsoration > You lead him in and direct him to lay down. You're very calm and reassuring.

> And then you try to place your camera on a ledge so it peers down at Cronus, get in the tub on top of him to pin him down. You'll try to grab his wrists, place them above his head, grab them with one hand. And one of his horns too. You'll narrate your actions the whole time.

> Damn, indigos are strong when you're a rustblood, him actually resisting you is a bit like him resisting really fleshy iron.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You cooperate, maybe metaphorically dragging your heels a bit, but, oh, no you aren't, fuck this dude is strong.

> FUCK this would be hot if it wasn't for this.

> You're a little wiggly, but not like you're necessarily trying to get away (not that you could), more like you keep wanting to look around.

> It's a lot harder to keep your face casual without the reminder of eye contact, for some reason.

> It's just a couple of minutes, though! It's fine! You Have Never Been Calmer.

> (It'd be really funny if your light hyperventilating made you pass out before he did anything. Funny for some people, at least.)

carnivalsoration > Oh how fucking precious that is. He's so cute, and he doesn't even verbally object. Plausible deniability!

> You grin a little bit where he can't see. "Your three minutes starts now."

> You pull out a gallon jug of water from your dex and start pouring it over his nose and mouth. It looks so ridiculous for being as effective as it is, considering it quickly starts to feel like he's barely keeping his head above water.

"Cronus, did you make me a cookie?" You ask down sternly at him. Not loud, not aggressive per se, but definitely authoritarian.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Blblbr?!?

> Okay this is bad actually.

> You thrash a little, reflexively, but don't get far. You try to shake your head but, uh, can't.

"No--?"

> Boy the water sure just keeps happening. It's a good thing your body inherited reflexes to not breathe water, or this would have been over very fast, since you'd already be coughing it up onto the floor.

> This is a really bad thing but it's not for very long. It's fine!

> The nice thing about being tortured is you're too distracted to worry about keeping a straight face.

> The bad thing about being tortured is all the other stuff. :(

carnivalsoration > Oh, hey, he didn't immediately submit. That's fine. Patience is all you need. The water keeps up in a steady stream. "You did, didn't you. Don't lie to me, you did make me a cookie. Didn't you?!"

> A forceful tone of voice and persistence is all you need. Soon he'll be too disoriented to do much more than choke and agree with you.

vwarlordvwanderlust ==> Cronus: choke and agree with him.

> This was a terrible idea!

> (Wow, Cronus, if only there was any way of knowing that.)

> Your panicked failing gets a little more forceful, but not any more effective.

"Stop, yes--"

> You're dying, he's killing you, you're going to drown here and nobody will ever know what happened.

carnivalsoration "And just what happened to that cookie, Cronus?" You accuse. "Did you fucking eated it??" Oh messiahs bless, saying that with a straight face is so funny. So hard.

"Don't you dare fucking lie, did you Eated my Cookie?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You already said yes! You really will definitely die at his hands. AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

"Yes, I did, stop,"

> Your lungs don't feel right, but you don't know if there's actually water in there or if you're just freaking the fuck out without haviing gills, so it feels different.

> Glub glub,

> When you get back in your right mind, you'll be mad. This is the dumbest thing imaginable

carnivalsoration > Okay, now to get to the aftercare portion so no one thinks you're evil or whatever.

> You stop pouring water, captchalogue the jug, and get out of the tub. Then you help him sit up, lean forward. "Alright, now. Cough. Get it all outta ya."

> ..... Grab your phone. Fuck you hope that recorded the right angle.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Water, water everywhere, the last thing you're ever going to feel is water-- no water.

> You're shivering, and coughing weird-- you don't know enough about this to know if it's normal for torture weird, though.

> When he gets you into a better position, you cough up a little more water than might be expected for someone else who this happened to. Probably you just tried to breathe a little more than most people.

> When you're a little less full of water, you   go for the blindfold, if he hasn't taken care of it already. Seeing is good.

carnivalsoration > Oh shit blindfold, better hide the phone! Captchaloguing is so convenient for slight of hand stuff.

> you help him with the blindfold, very helpfully, with no ulterior motives whatsoever, and then give him a little pat on the back.

"You did pretty well! Didn't beg, don't think you cried. Still definitely confessed though."

vwarlordvwanderlust > You're tearing up a little bit now, but it's probably just the coughing, because you don't feel anything about this. It's basically no big deal.

> You glare at him, looking about as threatening as a half drowned kitten.

"You tried to kill me!"

> You sound vaguely hysterical.

carnivalsoration "Nope, you weren't even close to death. If i had tried to kill you, i got a billion other different ways to do it and there'd be no try about it."

> Pat him a little more. Its okay dear Cronus, it's all okay.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Rub at your eyes with one hand and try to take deep breaths, the way you were taught to instruct a charge to do if they flipped out.

> If you actually thought it was an attempt on your life, you'd be running, for all the good it'd do you. You still think it got closer than he's saying, but.

"I'vwe gotta stop givwing myself chances to look like an idiot in front of you."

> You sound calmer, but not, you know. Calm.

carnivalsoration > You laugh a bit, waggle your brows. "I like idiots, if that helps." It probably won't. "Anyway, my respect for people ain't based on the sorta thing that you seem so down on yourself about, so you're basically in the clear on that front."

> Not on several other things, but what can ya do. If you're ringleader, try to be nice anyway.

vwarlordvwanderlust > 'You didn't look like an idiot, Cronus', would have been the correct response, but he tried.

> Hhhhhhh.

> You haul yourself shakily out of the tub.

"Thanks, babe. Good looking out. Excellent. Appreciate it."

> You look at your hands, remembering the ineffectual struggling, and shiver. But in like, a cool and nonchalant way, totally.

"Man. Rusties are, uh. Vweak, huh?"

> Not that you could necessarily beat twelve feet of clown in an arm wrestling match normally, but still.

carnivalsoration > Oh good, he actually got that little bit of empathy you tried to make happen. Yes, he is weak as a rusty, and that's how they feel all the time!

"Yeah. Bones are more fragile too. Pretty nuts, ain't it? I barely even felt you struggling."

> How much can you hammer things home before you make it obvious? .... Let's give it a try.

"Browns and yellows ain't much better, ya know. They kinda have to do whatever we want em to, one on one, unless they got real good psionic control." Which means Mituna can't easily say no to what you do, Fuckwit. .... If only you could say those words out loud. Can't seem too sympathetic, though, you're supposed to be a mean Alternian who is being nice to him for some reason.

> Plus or minus some waterboarding.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Haha, better to be on the other side of that one, I'vwe gotta say."

> Lowbloods are weak and it's funny. Not that you sound all that amused right this particular instant, but you'll be back to normal soon enough.

"Not an especially controvwersial opinion,  I knowv. Anyvways! That's good, I guess. Makes things easier to handle."

> Now you're into the fucking with your hair stage of emotional recovery, because it definitely got all messed up.

carnivalsoration > Hahaha yeah, better to be a coolblood, outnumbered a hundred to one. That's a good side to be on. Ha. Ha. Ha.

> You watch him fix his hair for several moments before you proceed to just. Fuck it up again. Ruffle ruffle ruffle.

"I won the bet. What do i get as a prize?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > Pout at him.

"C'mon, boss, vwhy you gotta be like that?"

> It's pretty fucking wild how this guy actually literally tortured you, admittedly at your request, but you're so willing to be his friend.

> You smile tentatively at the question, a far cry from your typical cocky smirk.

"I dunno, big guy. Vwhat do you vwant?"

> It COULD not be a come on, except that you kinda. Lick your lips and waggle your eyebrows. Just a little. A smidge. It's probably really casual.

carnivalsoration > You like teasing him, and you laugh when he pouts. "Ain't my fault you look cute with mussed hair."

> And then he licks his lips and waggles his brows in a way that reminds you of yourself, except that you like to go overboard with it like it's a joke so that people can brush it off without the whole thing being hella awkward.

> You chuckle a little more, tap his nose. "I'll save my spoils for another time, hmm? In the meantime, though."

> Bend over, pick him up by the ass, and just give him a big ol kiss on his lips.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Yeah, you really think it looks alright?"

> Preen. You're incredibly fucking vain, which is pretty obvious considering your everything about you, and you appreciate being called cute. Even if tough would be preferable.

> OH THIS IS A VERY GOOD THING!

> Kiss back with just a little more enthusiasm than technique, though it isn't like you're terrible. This is a good night. You should probably put your shirt back on eventually, but it's not a particularly high priority at the moment.

carnivalsoration > Oh, boi, you're always the teacher and the experienced one. Otherwise you might be annoyed to be in such a position yet again.

> .... Grope his ass, tho, check if its doin alright, and see how quick he is to learn how to make out good.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You relax into it before too long, less tongue aggression can only improve things.

> You're basically only alright.

> You nip at his lips with lowblood-dull teeth, and grin when he gropes you. You don't want to take your arms away from their position over his shoulders, or you'd return the favor.

> Nothing bad has ever happened to you and everything is great.

carnivalsoration > Oh, teeth always get a good reaction out of you, inexperienced or no. Son of a bitch, you didn't want him to actually have Power over you.

> .... Whatever.

> How long can you keep him entertained with just. A lot of making out.

vwarlordvwanderlust > :D

> Cronus Will Remember That.

> Who doesn't like teeth, though, really.

> Oh, so fucking long. For all that you claimed to be all about the orgasms earlier, you sure are happy to keep doing this!

carnivalsoration > You'll keep going for at least like five minutes. He's getting so into it, you half expect to feel something wiggling against your chest.

vwarlordvwanderlust > YOU'RE getting a little squirmy, but at least you're not an adolescent anymore, so nothing's happening downstairs. That he can feel, at least.

> ... This is really good but like. Maybe. You don't need both hands to hold yourself up.

> You try and reach for his crotch, but don't stop making out.

carnivalsoration > Your eyebrows actually raise at his bold move, and you pull away a couple so you can look at him. And look down at the reaching hand.

> Your bulge is Definitely not out.

"Lookin ta escalate, brother?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You didn't think it would be, neither is yours, but this is how you get stuff to happen! You do it!

> You stare blankly at him.

"No, vwhy do you ask?"

> You may make some questionable "jokes" about lowbloods, but your deadpan delivery is pretty good.

carnivalsoration "Cuz I'm not!" You say, with a smile and a single fingergun.

> For quite a few reasons. One of which is that you're not really In The Mood. Another, you have to ask Saness for permission.

> But, most importantly, you want to hold that particular bit of encouragement for later.

vwarlordvwanderlust > ?????????????????????????

> You look a little crestfallen, but mostly baffled.

> Maybe being tortured and then crying about it and coughing up water at someone isn't overwhelmingly sexy.

> No, that's probably not it.

> You roll your eyes, but withdraw your hand, and prepare to go back to making out.

carnivalsoration > That's fine. You are gonna just make out a while and think ya thoughts.

> How long can he even go at this before he gets bored...

vwarlordvwanderlust > Not THAT long, as it turns out. A couple minutes later, you pull back.

"Okay but are you sure?"

carnivalsoration > Bitch.

"Would I say it if I wasn't sure?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Maybe?"

> Your wide eyed innocent look isn't nearly as cute as you'd like to think, especially when it's about wanting to get in someone's pants.

"I'm just making sure, you knowv, people can change their minds, and that's okay if you ask me."

carnivalsoration "If I want to fuck you, you'll know. Because I will tell you, and then I will do it."

> Your voice isn't so friendly now.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Jeez, some people are so touchy. You'd raise your hands in surrender, but you're still a little worried that he'll drop you.

"Yeah, got it, good to knowv! It's good to be clear on stuff."

> ...Hm. Are makeouts even really the mood anymore? Why do actions have consequences???

carnivalsoration > You sigh, roll your eyes. "If you say no, what the fuck do you expect people to do? Ask you again, just to make sure?"

> Time to put the boi down. Things aren't that fun and he ruined it by being a shitheel.

vwarlordvwanderlust > :(

> This sucks.

> You pout, and the whine in your voice is definitely really cool and adult.

"I mean, I vwouldn't expect it, necessarily, but I vwouldn't make it a big deal..."

carnivalsoration > How fiercely do you have to glare to give him the full picture of the disdain you have for that whine and those words? You give it a shot for fucking sure. That is a hell of a nasty look.

"You think I'm makin a big deal out of it? I could be so much more overt with my anger and annoyance, motherfucker, I could make a real big deal outta it. My body is mine, my consent is mine, and I can do with it as little or as much as I mother fuckin please, do you understand me?"

> You step up on him with that last little bit, to loom over him. You are not pleased.

vwarlordvwanderlust > HhhhhhhHHHHHHH MAN IT'S NOT AS SEXY THAT HE'S BIG ANYMORE ACTUALLY.

> Wilt under the weight of that glare+loom combo, abruptly stepping back, hands up appeasingly.

"Hey hey, yeah, I get it."

> What's that last part you always forget? Oh, right.

"Sorry!"

> God this bastard is scary. You just want him to like you, this shouldn't be so hard!

carnivalsoration "What do you get? Tell me the lesson you learned. Don't just repeat after me, tell me why what you just said was fucked up."

> you are still looming.

vwarlordvwanderlust "You'd vwin,"

> Not probably a particularly promising start, but goddamn, this sure is the guy who tortured you VERY RECENTLY, huh.

"I get it, you can do vwhatevwer you vwant, I got it, that one vwas my bad."

> You may be the seadweller, but he's still more experienced than you, and four fucking feet taller. You stumble back another step, grinning nervously.

carnivalsoration > Ooh this motherfucker

"That ain't the POINT," you growl. "Try again. I got faith you can get this lesson. It ain't about me, it's about you."

vwarlordvwanderlust > It's not like he's pursuing you, and you feel like if you keep backing up you'll hit wall, which would really not help with the feeling safe thing, so you stop. Even though he growls, and it's fucking terrifying.

"I vwas annoying and pushy? And shouldn't be?"

> Your rising inflection makes it clear that you're definitely guessing, but at least it's an educated guess.

carnivalsoration "There's more to it than annoying." But you seem a little satisfied by that answer. "There's a lot fuckin more to it. You were pushy. People don't like bein round pushy people who don't respect their decisions. And that's the fuckin problem. You didn't respect my decision."

> How do you really drill this into him, you wonder...

vwarlordvwanderlust > Now you're a little defensive.

"I respected your decision! Look, I'm not doing anything nowv, am I?"

> Everyone always assumes the worst of you just because of all the things you do and say, and the person who you are.

carnivalsoration > Your expression gets tight and angry before you sit on the edge of the tub and put your head in your hands for half a second.

"Cronus Ampora," you say, softly. "Have you ever met someone who's been raped?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > What's. Your head snaps up to look at him, and you flush maroon, suddenly angry and upset, but still nervous. Off balance.

"I didn't-- I don't-- that doesn't havwe ANYTHING to do vwith this!"

carnivalsoration "Why not? Haven't you heard about all the people who said no, and then said yes reluctantly because they felt there would be consequences after. Or because they were pressured? And then they got fucked. When they didn't want to be. Someone's hands defiled their body and someone's bulge made them hate themselves. Have you never heard of that?"

> You look at him with deadly seriousness.

"So. Tell me. Have you ever met someone. Who has been sexually violated?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "... No. I mean, not. I don't think that's. That doesn't *happen* here."

> That kind of... crime? It's probably a crime sometimes. But it's not a Beforan thing.

> That's one of those big scary Alternian things.

> You've never heard of anything with a yes involved being called rape, though.

> You fuck with your hair more, no longer meeting his gaze.

carnivalsoration > You reach over, grab him, tug him towards you to make sure he looks you in the eyes.

"It happens everywhere. Everywhere anyone wants to have power over anyone else, or everywhere anyone feels they don't have to pay attention to the wants of anyone else."

> You look at him for two long moments of silence.

"If you ever want to meet a rape victim, keep doing what you did there. You'll make one. Violence doesn't have to be bloody or involve kicking and screaming to happen. Don't let it happen while you're not paying attention."

vwarlordvwanderlust "That's not..."

> You trail off kind of weakly.

"I vwouldn't make people do any-- I vwouldn't make people do that."

> You are, in fact, processing what he's saying, but it doesn't really sound like it, maybe.

"I'm not-- I'm a good guy!"

> The looming sensation of realizing the consequences of your past actions threatens to encroach on your feelings, but you beat that shit back with a stick. This was a rough enough night already, he doesnt need to basically call you a terrible person.

> Your voice is small and tentative when you speak next.

"Isn't it like. Important. For highbloods to, uh. Take things. If they vwant them, and they're tough and can havwe them?"

> You sound like you're trying to remember something from class, not like you're actually making an argument.

carnivalsoration > You watch him, watch expressions flit over his face as you let your words sink in. His question is an important one to figure out how to answer, you can't just say whatever comes to mind.

> It's a few moments before you respond.

"Taking things from others because you have the ability to doesn't change that it's stealing. Fucking someone because you can doesn't automatically make it consentual on their part. Conquest for someone is still torture for someone else. You can't be a good person and a victorious person at the same time, if you hurt someone to get there. People don't like someone and fear someone at the same time."

> You look at him seriously. You can't treat him like a kid, you can't treat him like a dick who doesn't matter. He's an adult who can make his own choices, and they are choices that will define him.

"You choose who you want to be. What you want to do with your power. Every choice you make opens some doors and closes others. You have more doors you can go through than lowbloods do, but but inevitably, you will define yourself by your actions. And you will define the opinions others have of you by them, and by what you do with the choices you have and the results that come of them."

> You hope he's getting the full power of your words. You definitely phrase them like they're important.

"You can take whatever you get your hands on. But shit like 'respect', like 'fondness', like bein liked, cannot be taken by force. It cannot just happen. You put effort into it, into the thoughts of feelings of others. Fear is easy to win. Disgust is easy to win. Easy to keep. Trust is what's hard to win, hard to keep. And, to me, hard things are generally worth earning."

vwarlordvwanderlust > He had you going for a second there. A while, even. You were listening with rapt attention, wide eyed, but.

> As persuasive as he is, as smart as he seems, there's an obvious hole in his argument, and he can't have missed it.

"People lovwe and fear the empress. Evweryone does. She vwants it all and she takes it, and she has it! I'm not trying to put myself on her levwel, but she's the trollish ideal."

> God, but you want to be liked.

"Do you... really believwe all this stuff?"

> You don't know what his motivations would be if he didn't, but.

carnivalsoration > You nod gravely at his question. "I speak the truth I've discovered through pain and trials, and I mean every word of it. Now, I want you to tell me something, and I want you to be thinkin real hard about yourself and about all those people you hang with."

> You raise a wry eyebrow. "Do you, personally, love the empress? Like you do, say, yourself. Or your lusus. Do you think all of your friends do? Go through em one by one, in your mind, see if you can find one that you think might not. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But I want you to be true to yourself, at the very fuckin least."

> You'll let that sink in for a moment, while you watch him.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You think about Mituna, broken and shoved into a padded cage by her policies, and grimace. . Other examples filter up through your mind more gradually, but his is the most salient.

"Vwell... evweryone respects--"

> You think about the fact that he was even broken in the first place because he was protesting her policies, biting the jeweled hand that fed him. He got what was coming to him, though...

> Your mouth settles into a stubborn line

"...Evweryone SHOULD respect the empress, if they're decent. Right?"

> Making such a tentative, heavily conditional statement at all in an argument, let alone then asking for confirmation, should probably be a sign that you're not really feeling it.

carnivalsoration "What is the difference, I wonder, between respect of somethin dangerous, like not playin with fire, and respect of someone's opinions because you value their input and believe they would value yours."

> He's so stubborn and so panwashed by all that propaganda, but he's slowly coming to important realizations that will shape him. And you're proud of him for it, it's sure not an easy thing to do.

"Decency is subjective. You gotta ask yourself what you think is decent. Gotta come to the conclusion, yourself, what you value in a person. Convictions are personal. I want to know what yours are, when you think about what you value most in a person."

vwarlordvwanderlust "You don't need to believwe someone vwould vwalue your input to respect their opinions. Eridan doesn't givwe a shit about anything I say, but he's a good kid and he knowvs lots of stuff."

> Mmm. You feel weird about all this. It's another elaborate test, and you've failed every single one he's given you before it.

"Vwhy do you vwant to knowv?"

carnivalsoration "Oh, but tell me if that makes you less likely to have meaningful conversations with him. Like the one we're having right now."

> Feeling weird is a normal part of this process. It sucks though. You don't like it either.

> You give him a wry smile at his next little question.

"Because I want to respect you, for your own sake."

vwarlordvwanderlust "Sure, I guess."

> Not that that proves anything.

> Hm. You look at him, really look at him, trying to gauge his sincerity.

> You continue to suck at that. Fortunately, you just assume he's sincere.

"I guess... Loyalty. Passion. Honor. Ambition, and uh, success too. It doesn't matter if you don't succeed, haha. Bravwery. The usual?"

> You don't sound especially certain, but then, it's not a question you've had cause to think about much. Not explicitly, at least.

carnivalsoration "I don't wanna hear about the usual. The expected answers. Those are buzzwords, words everyone likes and likes to think about themself. I want to hear somethin that could be individual to you. You ain't everyone. You're you. You got your own shit to bring to the table and I wanna hear what Cronus Ampora, specifically, values."

vwarlordvwanderlust "I don't..."

> This is a Big Question. Him first.

"Vwhat vwould you say, someone asked you that?"

> You have literally no clue. Maybe his answer will be inspiring.

carnivalsoration "I value people who have conviction but are open to change. I value people who respect thoughts different than their own, and can learn from things they don't experience. I like people who will hear me talk about my gods and not dismiss everythin I say. I like people who are thoughtful about their enemies as well as their friends. I like people who get angry. And I like people who can control their anger. I respect people who have knowledge but don't assume they know everything. I respect people who have been through shit but still know not to apply what they know universally, without context. I like people who are different from me."

vwarlordvwanderlust > Well, at the very least, you sure get angry.

"Vwowv, that's. A lot."

> You jam your hands in your pockets and look to the side.

"I dunno. I just. Like people vwho like me."

> That's the dumbest and truest thing you've ever said.

carnivalsoration > Welp, that didn't Quite work.

"What makes you dislike people?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "I guess I don't like it vwhen people..."

> 'Are mean to me'. Shit. You need a different one.

> Kick at the ground. This is so complicated.

"It's obnoxious vwhen people don't care about anything at all. There's so much *stuff*, and some people can't be bothered to pay attention to any of it. This is vworse than the torture, because it's making me face howv boring I am. "

> (Just kidding, you won't actually face that for a good while yet.)

carnivalsoration > You hum, consider him. "You're not boring. Not really. You're just... Not finished. You're like an artist and your canvas. And you've got all your outlines set up, but there ain't any color yet."

> Better continue on before he gets offended, delicate little shit. "Still, that's important, that thing you just said. You don't like people who don't care. So it follows that you're drawn to people who do care. Does it matter, to you, what they care about?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > Rude.

> But yeah, it turns out dicking around on a guitar all night and fantasizing about killing aliens doesn't actually lead to much growth as a person.

"Yeah, passion, like I said."

> You think for a second.

"I guess... I mean, it's best if they care about shit that's interesting. I mean, I don't vwanna hear some nerd go on about model trains for hours. But I think caring about something enough to dedicate yourself to it is cool."

> You're kind of opening up again, even though this isn't exactly something you're used to talking about. You don't feel like you're on the edge of a wrong answer, though.

"Art, especially, though. Art is so..."

> Useful? Important? Nah. You fold back into yourself a little.

"It's neat, at least. I guess being interested in something practical is better."

carnivalsoration > You like that, like that he can see the value in giving a shit about things he doesn't care a lick about. Your expression has been steadily softening, and now you smile a little at his words. He's doing great. Keep going, Cronus.

> And then he says something a bit down again, a bit Alternian Standard, and you have to reach back for what he was so close to expressing. Something genuine about Himself.

"No, tell me more about art, brother. I wanna hear your thoughts. What excites you about art, about music?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You laugh a little.

"You're biased because you're a clowvn, but yeah, sure."

> You fall back into the subject with little encouragement, seemingly forgetting that this is the Big Scary Alternian Mentor Guy.

"Art is... Good art, to clarify, because there's a lot of shit out there. But art is beautiful evwen vwhen it's ugly, because art is honest evwen vwhen it's fake. All art tells a truth about the artist, y'knowv?"

carnivalsoration "I do know. I like that about art, I like knowin about people through what they do and how they do it."

> You don't mind the clown stereotyping. Just this once. It's true enough anyway.

"And what do you think your art says about you?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Vwell, if you havwe to ask, it must not havwe been saying vwery vwell!"

> You take that in good humor, though.

"I guess my public stuff, the newv music, is mostly about me being cool and tough and a loyal citizen. But subject isn't the same as message... It probably mostly says howv self centered I am."

> Candor!

> You do talk a lot about yourself in your songs.

carnivalsoration > You laugh a bit as well. "Well, the message I get and the message you intend can be two separate things. Art is individual even to the observers of it. But I think that comes across pretty well."

> You think it comes across that he's lonely and desperate.

"What about your private stuff, then? The stuff where you are the artist and the intended audience?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Vwell, I mean, that stuff's privwate."

> So's your vent blog, but this guy has that too.

> You stare off into the middle distance, because it makes you look cool and deep.

"I guess it mostly just says that I'm sensitivwe. Major character flawv, but sometimes the babes lovwe it, so it's a mixed bag. It's all about heartbreak and abandonment or vwhatevwer."

carnivalsoration > Oh fuck. Oh fuck it's so hard to not laugh at him sometimes.

> You keep back the chuckles and feel glad that he's staring off into the distance like a nerd.

"So you feel abandoned? Misunderstood?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Sure, yeah. I mean, it's not like people stick around."

> For Some Reason.

"Nobody really gets me, and nobody really cares to try. I guess you do, and San."

carnivalsoration > .... And That's about all the focus you're willing to have with this conversation.

"Well, me and saness are gonna do our best. So. Ya know. Try not to make it too hard on us."

vwarlordvwanderlust "I'll do my best."

> Grin, setting aside your Dramatic Melancholy for later.

"I like you guys, you're great. Vweird, but hey, vwho isn't?"

carnivalsoration "Who knows. No one I wanna chill with."

> A few seconds of looking at him.

"Hey I got shit to do and I can't really do it in this busted up hive."

vwarlordvwanderlust "No, yeah, I vwas just about to ask if you vwere ready to dip."

> It's time for lots of introspection, followed by promptly discarding all the conclusions you come to that feel bad.

> This was. Something. Lots of things.

"Do you havwe your owvn vway back? San did."

carnivalsoration > You're not sure he actually was. You're just a little tired of dealing with a wiggler.

"Yeah," you motion to a bracer very similar to hers. "I'm pretty good on transport. Catch ya later?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Seeya around, boss."

> Fingerguns and wink. God you're charming. Time to go.

carnivalsoration > You disappear! Bye bitch.

[slaughterbf]

i love pickles so much i lovw them god

bc you’re a fuckin freak

[caepaecaesurae]

> Cae + RL : Talk for literally 6000+ goddamn words

caepaecaesurae Sawv you mention on a post somewvhere, something about wvoes wvith monogamous quadrants carnivalsoration yeah. mostly huntress, but a bit of residual annoyance from lilac and i love wicked but like... feel a little like i can't do nothin that even implies pale leanin with anyone else without him feelin sad carnivalsoration why?

caepaecaesurae Been there before.  I tend to be fairly open about wvhere I and my quadrants spend our time, and it comes into conflict wvhen others are not Seldom fun, though mine are thankfully relaxed about these things at the moment It's alwvays hard to assess wvhere a particular person's rules and boundaries lay carnivalsoration it just sucks cuz lil's a pale slut and every time we have a talk bout relationships he perceives it as pale unless i'm talkin bout huntress specifically and he flips like a motherfucker when i'm just talkin and like.... am i supposed ta feel bad about that? should i try ta stop that? ain't like he can control how he feels... and then fuckin /huntress/ had ta be coaxed into thinkin me havin my own top leaf wasn't cheatin carnivalsoration ... i gotta be honest you probably know how sugary'd react ta me wantin another flush better than i do caepaecaesurae To be honest, it probably depends on howv you choose to phrase it caepaecaesurae I think the key part to keeping her happy is letting her be First(tm), and havwe there be a wvay in wvhich she is definitely wvinning carnivalsoration wow last time i tried that i was worried she would stab me the whole time caepaecaesurae Did she? carnivalsoration and i still feel like i escaped maiming by a hair nah caepaecaesurae Non-consensually? carnivalsoration nah chill your roll i wouldn't hide it if she did that shit don't fly caepaecaesurae Emotional convwersations wvith her can be hard, I'm fairly sure.  I generally avwoid them carnivalsoration i told her i don't love her romantically caepaecaesurae That sounds like it wvould complicate polyamory quite a bit carnivalsoration yeah 'hey can i date someone who i also don't love romantically' 'no they're not replacin you. i just like em. they're neat.' i think i mostly escaped cuz she didn't understand what the fuck i was talkin about she just thought i was bein stupid and nitpicky caepaecaesurae I think in that situation, I'd just call all newv interests lovwers, let her retain the 'official matesprit' title, and let the others knowv that potential jealousy is the only thing keeping them from advwancing further Rather, keeping the wvords I use to refer to them from advwancing further ... It's fairly likely that she doesn't completely understand emotional love as a concept, directly. carnivalsoration so matesprits in everythin but name caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration not a bad idea caepaecaesurae If you wvant her to understand, vwisit her wvhile she's like this.  She can feel lovwe. Until she and Lurky swvap back carnivalsoration ... it makes me uncomfortable caepaecaesurae Fair carnivalsoration lurky already makes me uncomfortable but this is a step beyond not even the Love feedin thing, just... she's hair caepaecaesurae Does it help any if I say she's surprisingly laid back about potentially serious conflicts, if evweryone invwolvwed just decides to be calm about it? carnivalsoration and taffy caepaecaesurae Not into tentacles then? carnivalsoration mood nope i like things with faces caepaecaesurae I'm sure she could imitate a fewv, possibly sevweral at a time, and that it wvould be vwery upsetting. carnivalsoration i only like one kinda tentacle and there's gotta be a body attached wow no caepaecaesurae WVell, there is a body attached Technically hers carnivalsoration you're killin me here brother caepaecaesurae ... I should stop teasing, I'm sorry. carnivalsoration don't worry you were a few shades shy of real discomfort caepaecaesurae I'm glad I think it's best, during this anon, to just.. regard them as non-sexual beings.  VWoice-chatting wvith her, vwia a ... relay, I suppose, that's physically attached to her normal body. carnivalsoration i mean. me and sugar already don't usually have sex caepaecaesurae She's there, she can be spoken to.  So can Lurky.  Lurky mainly likes petting carpet. carnivalsoration weird..... caepaecaesurae If you evwer wvanted to get pictures of Sugary doing remarkably silly things, or just to wvitness her body doing it, it's a grand opportunity They'vwe discovwered the concept of laughter, and enjoy evwery chance to do it. It's a little charming carnivalsoration i can accept so damn much about tumblr god game nonsense but this is still a step beyond what i got the tools ta deal with ... that's kinda cute but also a horrorterror so thats still weird like. whole thing. super odd fuckin cursed (you can tiptoe around the god thing) caepaecaesurae I'm sorry the multivwerse is so unrelentingly much carnivalsoration thanks like. body switching... the fuck. caepaecaesurae I'm glad that univwerses protect people from most of this sort of thing, most of the time. carnivalsoration i can contextualize a lotta other shit but like. how do you contextualize your body not being yours or someones face bein someone else caepaecaesurae Reminds me of mindscourges and vwoodoo a bit. carnivalsoration from the outside but i don't inhabit a body if i take control of it it's grabbin strings, not hhhh okay yeah subject change caepaecaesurae I can't think of any metaphors less upsetting, so aye carnivalsoration it's just gettin to me the same way parasites do carnivalsoration not as much. but in a similar way anyway. thanks for advice with sugar caepaecaesurae She adores you, and the fond regard you share Evwen if the specifics are a bit vwague carnivalsoration i adore her. i just don't feel for her like i do for wicked or like Ii did for ... anyway caepaecaesurae I think she has a hard time understanding normal trolls Or wvays in wvhich a troll can differ from the norm, since she has no reference point carnivalsoration mood carnivalsoration i told her that would get better eventually i ain't really a normal troll either caepaecaesurae The most vwaluable tool in your arsenal then, is remembering that making a pinky swvear about key facts can sometimes just make evwerything fine again. I don't knowv wvhy it wvorks, but it's vwery comforting carnivalsoration was that you or her caepaecaesurae A uniquely terrible fusion of both carnivalsoration that's... even better caepaecaesurae She's the one wvho believwes it easily I'm the one wvho... I suppose helps on followv-through once wve Do believwe it Once wve Did believwe it caepaecaesurae wvhatevwer carnivalsoration yeah caepaecaesurae If you can get me to believwe and accept an arbitrary honorable declaration, it can resolvwe complicated emotional situations completely. carnivalsoration that makes sense caepaecaesurae Sometimes things are ovwer and done, and it's just that simple. carnivalsoration ... huh i don't work like that at all wow caepaecaesurae She almost does. carnivalsoration it's mostly the 'believe' bit like how do you just. trust someone wow carnivalsoration the fuck caepaecaesurae I believwe her culture glorifies the ability to resolvwe conflicts swviftly. Particularly paths that maintain peace and cheer. carnivalsoration fuck.... it's alien as hell. when i bother ta think about it i keep forgettin her vapidness is a cultural thing caepaecaesurae On a more normal levwel, she likes being wvith you, and is vwery biased towvards information that supports you twvo being together. It may also be a biological thing, partly.  Lurky's complained about a short attention span a fewv times, in the current arrangement, wvhich I wvill resume not talking about. carnivalsoration thanks sugar is the least of my worries beyond maiming carnivalsoration shes simple i love her for it. but she is just... she don't make things complicated on an emotional level caepaecaesurae It's vwery direct Not much mess or fuss Just a bit of upkeep carnivalsoration yeah. ... you're just wantin gossip more or less, right? and ta give relationship advice hahaha caepaecaesurae Gossip is my lifeblood The advwice is just a bad habit carnivalsoration ;o) just makin sure i know your motive carnivalsoration luckily i love to bitch caepaecaesurae Don't wve all? WVhat other motivwes wvere you checking for? carnivalsoration shrug, i thought it was either that or you were thinkin a somethin specific ta talk on caepaecaesurae Broad and fair carnivalsoration i didn't know what you might wanna talk on, just approachin me with that particular topic seemed like it coulda been pointed somewhere particular ... so. how the fuck does ash work there also why the fuck are there so many fuckers with martyr complexes on tumblr caepaecaesurae There's howv it wvorked on Alternia, wvhich wvas one thing, and there's howv evweryone in my clade seems to handle it, wvhich is influencing howv it's handled in my current univwerse carnivalsoration gimme what you got caepaecaesurae On Alternia it wvas more of a temporary arrangement most of the time, wvith a fewv famous stable pairings wvhere contact wvas unavwoidable, and conflicts wvere incompletely resolvweable. Here..  It's expanded a bit.  An ashen seems to be able to meddle betwveen twvo trolls in any kind of relationship, not just pitch-that-should-not-be. Additionally, floating top leavwes are fairly common -- wvhere a troll has a stable, permanent auspistice wvho patches in temporarily, any time anyone has a conflict wvith their paramour carnivalsoration you and arlequin caepaecaesurae Aye, that carnivalsoration and pal and his ash caepaecaesurae Pal's matesprit has one as wvell I think. carnivalsoration neat caepaecaesurae It... can be convwenient, wvhen a troll has certain subjects about wvhich they are unreasonable or frequently in conflict Anyone wvho encounters such a conflict knowvs wvho can translate, and ensure a debate goes smoothly carnivalsoration lil needs that honestly caepaecaesurae Though there are unfortunate.. complications, at times If the bottom leaf comes into conflict wvith someone wvho has a conflict wvith the top leaf, the top leaf's presence wvill not help much So such arrangements are necessarily still somewvhat selectivwe carnivalsoration makes sense caepaecaesurae I do think Lil wvould do wvell wvith an open auspisticism carnivalsoration none of that sounds outta line for what i know caepaecaesurae He seems to often speak wvithout thinking about the reactions he wvill receivwe carnivalsoration temp ashen was way more common, in my experience, political ash are often floating, ash is usually for pitch but also useful for conflicts and toxic relationships, though its way harder ta get motherfuckers to believe they need an ash in that case lil is a talky little shit who only thinks he's not morally superior when he's not actively engaged in an argument caepaecaesurae I'vwe nevwer gotten particularly close, or spoken wvith him in much detail. I think he's offended that I spent a bit crimson, by choice. carnivalsoration and he treats any mildly offended counterpoint as an attack yeah he's a ridiculous little sjw hahaha caepaecaesurae I'll be debating it wvith him somenight I'm not sure wvhen carnivalsoration i wanna go temp ash between him and fex but huntress won't have it at fuckin all caepaecaesurae It's a shame wvhen things are different across univwerses WVhat wvould she think about it, if she had a conflict wvith a third party, and you assisted her wvith that? caepaecaesurae Still just as bad, or is it suddenly different wvhen it's about her? If it's jealousy, can it be resolvwed wvith givwing her some balance of separate attention? carnivalsoration she said she'd stop interactin with that person altogether to keep from bein a cheat caepaecaesurae Yikes. No idea if that's because her univwerse is different, her personal stance is different, or just because she's younger, but I wvish you luck carnivalsoration i fuckin know, right? she considers it cheating for me, her top leaf, to have a top leaf carnivalsoration even a temp one even a political one caepaecaesurae A grey area, pardon the pun carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha she's also the martyr type caepaecaesurae Speaking of, wvhat do you mean by martyr? carnivalsoration so i dunno if she actually accepted that i need this and she was alright with it or if she is just lettin me run over her aight, i think your purpose in life is ta have a good damn time. and some religious shit, but that's irrelevant carnivalsoration so when a motherfucker goes 'no, my quad is more important, and i will suffer so they can have fun' it pisses me off caepaecaesurae It annoys me mostly wvhen it's unecessary carnivalsoration martyr: some fucker who puts their health and wellbeing at risk for others relatively irrelevant shit for a long period of time. all the time. caepaecaesurae Aye.  Some trolls think that's howv life wvorks. carnivalsoration either gettin bitter or losin their own sense of self. ruinin the relationship but draggin it out just cuz they didn't put their foot down while the other person thinks shit is fine! pisses me off like. why the fuck don't they just love themselves caepaecaesurae It's important to be able to trust that your partner is telling you an apt amount of the truth. Evwen I fall into that trap occasionally. carnivalsoration sometimes bad shit happens and you gotta wade through it together. but thats way different from layin down in the mud and lettin em walk on you caepaecaesurae Or hiding things to "protect" them. carnivalsoration i put people equal to me, brought my own happiness down for them, before. but i always expected we would crawl outta the pit together yeah fuck that carnivalsoration .... okay i done that one a couple times caepaecaesurae One must choose wvhether a quadrant is a partner or some sort of odd pet that is being fostered, and stick to that choice.  And be honest about it. carnivalsoration but i'm gettin better yeah. caepaecaesurae I think evweryone wvith good intentions or a privwate streak does that one a fewv times. carnivalsoration ... tellin wicked things is hard sometimes cuz i don't wanna make him sad.... but i'm gettin better so it's fine caepaecaesurae Progress is all one can hope for carnivalsoration anyway huntress's a mess caepaecaesurae She seems pleasant and wvell-meaning carnivalsoration she's a little brat who's been pining over some damn karkat who ditched her cuz she protected him with ~violence~ caepaecaesurae The young become amazingly invwested in some things carnivalsoration i think it's been sweeps caepaecaesurae Oh, gods.. Her univwerse's karkat? carnivalsoration yeah. yeah! beforan, for what that means to you caepaecaesurae tsk.  I wvish her luck wvith that caepaecaesurae I'vwe been Beforan Some trolls are young trolls, and Beforus is a young planet. carnivalsoration she says shes just glad he's happy but i can fuckin tell. she's torn all up and still callin him good annoying. caepaecaesurae It could be she knowvs it just wvouldn't wvork. If he's that firm about an ideal like that, and her instincts say to protect him... carnivalsoration she won't even ask caepaecaesurae It may not wvork out Aye?  But she can decide if she thinks it wvould be annoying. carnivalsoration she lets herself live in limbo it's annoying! caepaecaesurae Maybe she needs to stop pining then carnivalsoration like. damn, if someone ain't treatin you right you treat yourself right and ditch em yeah that's what i said. but she is impressively stubborn it's annoyin and not what my job is so i'm leavin it why you interested in polyamory anyway? caepaecaesurae It's her call wvhat to do wvith her pusher,and I'm sure it wvill be a revwelation for the ages that wvill leavwe her changed and growvn for the experience But some such journeys are best left to those participating, so, aye caepaecaesurae I don't see the details of it discussed much I see people in the main ultra-clade havwing ten lovwers and three moirails each, but little about specific logistical questions carnivalsoration I got just the three quads and a handful of lovers carnivalsoration i don't even necessarily want other quads so much as i feel stuck in the boxes cuz all the current ones are strict bout it caepaecaesurae I'm blessed to havwe the quadrants I do carnivalsoration lucky fuck caepaecaesurae Fewv to no long-term lovwers though Sympathy.  I'vwe dated trolls that wvere on the strict side before, and it can chafe carnivalsoration (no comment cuz i don't want you feelin weird) weird thing is i'm pretty boxy myself, i just. like, quads blur a little at the edges? carnivalsoration and i feel like i gotta stay way away from the edge which is lame caepaecaesurae > (picture of a cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration hahahahaha caepaecaesurae > (picture of a different cat in a too-small box) caepaecaesurae > (picture of a third cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration honestly i dunno if it'd chafe so much if i didn't have so many quads. never been this close ta full up before, aside from the whole two weeks ash and pitch were inhabited at the same time caepaecaesurae WVith so many of them, there's less space for unlabled things carnivalsoration yeah. carnivalsoration i got a kinda flush kinda pale submissive thing goin on with one of my lovers, but i feel a little weird mentionin it caepaecaesurae I don't think there's anything wvrong wvith that if it isn't threatening your primary quadrants at all carnivalsoration mostly cuz a sugar. also cuz it's close but it's mostly sex still. caepaecaesurae I think the popular hack for that is to make up a newv symbol carnivalsoration .... like her though. she's sweet hahahahaha maybe caepaecaesurae I knowv a pair of trolls that go around wvith <2 carnivalsoration i'll just have an eggplant be our quad symbol .... ain't that fex and twoblade? some damn captor for sure.... caepaecaesurae Aye, that's the one carnivalsoration i know a pitch pale pair who got <*> caepaecaesurae That's a good one An eggplant's a bit hard to copy into text though carnivalsoration true i dunno. how many quads you got by the by? caepaecaesurae A full set of four carnivalsoration well shit you gonna add any more to the bunch, ya think? caepaecaesurae I'm not honestly sure carnivalsoration got anyone in mind? caepaecaesurae I knowv howv I wvas on Alternia, and howv... wvidespread my attention tended to growv, but I'vwe been different since Wvell I don't see any direct and immediate contenders in my future, despite a bit of vwery directed teasing on a fewv fronts carnivalsoration oh? :o) teasing from where caepaecaesurae Oh, clade carnivalsoration bout who carnivalsoration ;o) i gave you gossip now you gotta give me some caepaecaesurae WVell, carnivalsoration well~? caepaecaesurae > Does he want to admit to having a crush on the Demoness, or *Ringleader's Matesprit*? > These are both bad options.  He tries to think of any other crush. > What about Wicked, Ringleader's moirail.  But only as a lover.  Uh. caepaecaesurae > What about a random name, but then Ringleader will expect him to follow through caepaecaesurae ah carnivalsoration you aight over there? caepaecaesurae Romantic situations that aren't fully settled put me in a bit of a conniption I'm not sure wvhere to sart carnivalsoration you got so many people you're thinkin of? or just a lotta people you get teased over? caepaecaesurae Sevweral tease-wvorthy ones carnivalsoration pick one caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, wvhen I wvas extremely young, there wvas a vwery brief infatuation wvith my Zahhak WVhile nowv many, many centuries passed I still hear about it from time to time carnivalsoration oh hey what stopped it? caepaecaesurae His complete lack of interest and a bit of a prank carnivalsoration hahahahaha shoulda been more persistent, it worked for dual caepaecaesurae He decided to feign a caepaecaesurae lifestyle for our first and only date carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae He suggested wve go to a field to graze carnivalsoration HAHAHAHAHAHAHA caepaecaesurae WVe wvere teen beforans He wvas serious. carnivalsoration fuck! caepaecaesurae I did not ask him out again carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, some things aren't meant to be carnivalsoration fuck that's amazing i gotta tell dual ask him if that woulda stopped his pining caepaecaesurae Gods Please don't tell him wvhich alternate carnivalsoration ;o) our secret caepaecaesurae There wvas literally a field I did not graze. carnivalsoration i was about to ask hahahaha carnivalsoration so we got one down, who else you gettin teased on caepaecaesurae Chiieeef, you're killing me... carnivalsoration ;o) i'll make it up to you later caepaecaesurae I'vwe been fairly shy about lovwers in general for a wvhile, but that's been picking up a little bit Seldom more than once per troll, but carnivalsoration tell me if i should lay off caepaecaesurae Sorry if it's a mood kill carnivalsoration i know you and sugar hooked up, can't remember if it was during or after bein trickstered caepaecaesurae It wvas suggested during, but wve did get together a bit after carnivalsoration oh good. i made dumb as fuck decisions as a trickster, glad ya don't gotta deal with that caepaecaesurae Oh, I tried There's one troll I'vwe purposefully stayed platonic wvith for some swveeps, to avwoid givwing his matesprit jealousy issues That staying platonic wvas rather narrowv, and had nothing to do wvith me carnivalsoration oh, you worry bout jealousy then? caepaecaesurae These things aren't really sustainable if one doesn't carnivalsoration > A slow smile starts to spread across his face as a couple of things click into place. caepaecaesurae There wvas a time I didn't bother, and I had a vwery exciting life ...it's much easier if I just respect boundaries. WVhich invwolvwes finding out wvhat they are carnivalsoration ya know, to find out what they are, you gotta ask caepaecaesurae Aye, usually, but sometimes one can get a vwery good sense just from reading a troll carnivalsoration gotta make sure a motherfucker ain't the jealous type before ya go after his matesprit. can't mention you actually want his matesprit cuz what if he decides its a challenge. ... i just realized you might panic if i play coy ask sugar out caepaecaesurae Fucking hell carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, there's more reasons than Just that that it's terribly complicated, but thank you carnivalsoration yeah yeah i know its a publicity thing, and you actually live somewhere they'll give a fuck but hey, if you wanna go after her, you can probably give her things i can't anyway caepaecaesurae I wvas wvicked's casual lovwer briefly, for a time, before VWelius got possessivwe and wve stopped. I mean, for wvhat that's wvorth carnivalsoration yeah i know caepaecaesurae I think she needs someone wvho can admit that there's anything, too carnivalsoration i mean... ... she's got me for that. caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration i like her a lot. .... but like. do you ... romantically? caepaecaesurae WVe relate to her in vwery different wvays carnivalsoration we understand her in similar ways though carnivalsoration (we nice and panic free over there?) caepaecaesurae The problems I'm havwing finding the wvords aren't related to fear ...but thank you I think wve can actually havwe this convwersation carnivalsoration :oD i was gonna tease you for a bit but uh. caepaecaesurae I don't entirely knowv wvhat I'm doing wvith her, except that this is the first or second time I'vwe been led into something by a part of me that didn't bother asking my advwice first.  ...Since coming to Prosperity. On Alternia, falling into things like this wvas a wvay of life, and I let it happen evwery single time. carnivalsoration huh caepaecaesurae I am inexplicably fond of her, and I really wvish that wvas more dependant on her moral stature than it is. carnivalsoration hahaha she's doin better. i'm proud of her. caepaecaesurae She is. carnivalsoration she's actually started to think i have low standards for puttin up with her caepaecaesurae It's lovwely to see howv far she's come, and howv wvell she does. Really? carnivalsoration yeah. when she healed my horns she hugged me tight and said she had to go before she stole me away. and i told her i was proud of her for lettin me do what i had to and she said i needed higher standards hahaha carnivalsoration which. probably. ... but i dunno, with someone like her, its easier to judge by effort and intent than by progress by way of distance gone caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration and she's puttin in a lotta effort caepaecaesurae Evwen wvith backslides, like evwery time someone she hasn't seen in ovwer a swveep pops online, ... carnivalsoration yeah... caepaecaesurae Evwen the backslides are growving milder. carnivalsoration she deserves more people in her corner who ain't fussin endlessly like val tries to do caepaecaesurae "Oops, I took a captivwe" became "Oops, I tormented someone vwerbally", wvhich becomes "Oops, I forgot they legitimately hate me for something that I didn't pay attention to..." carnivalsoration she tells me her moments of weakness so i can help her not caepaecaesurae She's doing wvell enough that evwen some of her enemies are thawving a bit carnivalsoration she asked me to ask muralist if he still felt compelled to obey her so she would know if she can interact with him and still have him comfortable. and had me do it so he wouldn't panic right off caepaecaesurae Oh, that's clevwer carnivalsoration ;o) caepaecaesurae WVe tend to commisserate, any time one of our reputations bites us carnivalsoration mine ain't some fuckin how caepaecaesurae WVhich is nice carnivalsoration maybe it's cuz i'm so far removed. maybe it's cuz i dont seem to care caepaecaesurae Maybe it's because no one you'vwe wvronged has a popular tumblr account carnivalsoration a couple fuckers sent me asks in those first few days after the tents got ... and i talked all guilty and they kept at it carnivalsoration but the second i stopped they stopped tormenting me caepaecaesurae They're harsh sometimes. carnivalsoration they're talentless i deserve better from an interrogator the only reason they got me at all is cuz they kicked me when i was down caepaecaesurae They've gotten me like that a fewv tims carnivalsoration fex don't trust me. but he trusts me enough to let me on prosperity nadaya's suspicion evaporated once i stopped hidin ... i dunno. rep's weird caepaecaesurae Arty's gotten a lot more trusting in general, wvhich is nice. carnivalsoration good for me at least caepaecaesurae I think she likes knowving that reputation problems aren't just hers, and also that they can be mostly resolvwed. Evwen if little flareups happen. carnivalsoration yeah. ... so if it wouldn't hurt your rep, would ya try for her flush? caepaecaesurae Most of the comisseration started off, in the early days, as just "Here's something terrible but relatable that happened to someone that isn't you" carnivalsoration hahahaha wish i had someone like you when i fell i was way slower than her caepaecaesurae My rep, my current clade wvho are all vwiolently allergic to both her bloodline and her in particular, ... carnivalsoration yeah. sucks. i've only got one fucker in my inclade who's violently allergic to me but that's. too damn many. caepaecaesurae There's a thousand and one reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork carnivalsoration and yet you care enough ta go fishin for how i'd feel bout it. you're a hopeful fucker ain't you. caepaecaesurae I think she's a good friend carnivalsoration boo, cop out caepaecaesurae And some friendships are nevwer clearly described or labled carnivalsoration .... :o) caepaecaesurae Some friendships are like that on purpose carnivalsoration you do you. caepaecaesurae You're a breath of fresh air, chief. carnivalsoration tell me more tell me more caepaecaesurae Hahaha carnivalsoration what can i say, i love complements caepaecaesurae I.. hope to take care that my friendship wvith her nevwer negativwely impacts anyone's relationships.  Mine or hers. If she gets fussy about you havwing anyone else, you might be able to use it as a wvay to encourage openmindedness in her though. carnivalsoration hahahaha caepaecaesurae If she gets vwague friends, no reason other people can't havwe them carnivalsoration you are really good at gettin fuckers on your side carnivalsoration .... where do we stand? caepaecaesurae If I must havwe but one talent, let it be that one carnivalsoration hahaha caepaecaesurae It's nice to havwe that off my mind, honestly.  Not that I wvas or wvasn't activwely checking anything. caepaecaesurae I appreciate it, and your wvillingness to break character in the middle of teasing Evwen Muralist has to remind me nowv and again carnivalsoration well as much as i like games, i played the wrong one to start and now teasing looks like danger unless i'm real clear bout it. so imma be clear. carnivalsoration ... so uh. you don't usually take lovers more than once or twice? caepaecaesurae Lately carnivalsoration yeah. caepaecaesurae I wvas wvith WVicked a wvhile, though I think it depends on the troll, and on opportunity carnivalsoration how do i rank i aint gonna be mad if i don't place. caepaecaesurae You're a good troll, and I appreciate the effort you put into keeping me at ease.  And I'm sorry for howv long you wvere on edge about me, and any stress that may havwe added to the rebellion carnivalsoration eh, you thought it was more handled than it was i'm a paranoid motherfucker and that's on me caepaecaesurae WVe both havwe moments like that. carnivalsoration so long as we do our best we'll turn out fine. caepaecaesurae aye.  I did enjoy that evwening, evwen if I spent a wvhile facepalming at myself after the anon wvore off caepaecaesurae Not because of anything you did carnivalsoration > .... H..op..ef....ul? > He's being vague but there's complements involved. nah i understand. caepaecaesurae You knowv the feeling, wvhen your cautious side is exasperated wvith your less cautious side, but evwerything still turned out wvell carnivalsoration i did shit i don't exactly regret but i weren't quite ready for caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration ... nah. i was ready, i wasnt set like. ya gotta psyche yourself up for that shit, and i was already psyched, and then i was me and it was sudden carnivalsoration makes shit a bit awkward hahahaha caepaecaesurae Aye It's fascinating, though carnivalsoration i can't tell if youre dodgin, stallin, or you think you've given me an answer caepaecaesurae Somenight I should psyche myself up for a more honest repeat.  I'm slowv as hell though, and it doesn't seem fair or wvise to set hopes up carnivalsoration honk! caepaecaesurae It takes me a running start and ten paragraphs to answver any question, chief. carnivalsoration hahahaha you just like puttin motherfuckers on the edge of their seats. caepaecaesurae I like being exact and explicit Length runs in the blood, I suppose carnivalsoration ;o) but exact things don't weave around the point so much as you caepaecaesurae Think of it as a skycraft circling in for a landing You havwe to spend at least an hour gradually examining the question from all angles before you can come in for your final approach carnivalsoration you draw shapes in the clouds while you're at it carnivalsoration i like it though. even if 'you're a good troll' is the perfect set up for 'let's just be friends' caepaecaesurae Sorry carnivalsoration hahaha it's aight. kept the suspense up caepaecaesurae It's also a good setup for "Not wvhen my pan is wvild, and I havwe no idea wvhen it wvon't be" carnivalsoration i can wait til you're ready caepaecaesurae Nowv you're going to make me blus carnivalsoration and if i die of old age before you get round to it, well guess you're just not into older dudes good, you glow pretty caepaecaesurae I don't think it wvill take anywvhere near that long carnivalsoration hey, now i got a timeframe! before i die :op caepaecaesurae WVell, ideally carnivalsoration i'm just fine waitin as long as ya need. caepaecaesurae You're a peach. Maybe sometime wve'll finally get around to that music night. carnivalsoration :o* :oD one a these nights and there won't even be war to weigh it down caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae Sorry for not helping out more wvith that carnivalsoration how do you mean? caepaecaesurae It seems like I let my owvn wvariness get in the wvay of helping Since part of wvhat wve wvere going to discuss at that meeting included things like planning carnivalsoration if i didn't break your trust you woulda done it actions got consequences. that's how it goes i ain't gonna be mad at you for keepin your own self safe caepaecaesurae WVe all havwe our journeys I suppose Thank you carnivalsoration beyond that, no way of knowin how much difference it woulda made, so there's no server worrying bout what coulda happened instead,aight? you bet, brother caepaecaesurae It's a bit odd, this isn't the first time I'vwe been called hopeful or an idealist. carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae This wveek, evwen. Is it that idealistic to circuitously examine the lay of the land? carnivalsoration mmmmm depends if you're bein cautious or lingerin back to dream a little longer caepaecaesurae Heh. Must a man choose? carnivalsoration i think you're a practical idealist. so ya do both, imagining best and worst scenario. :o) caepaecaesurae And seeking lists of reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork, as much as seeking reasons it wvould carnivalsoration yeah~ caepaecaesurae Tsk, wvhat's that ~ caepaecaesurae No need for ~'s carnivalsoration uh... they slip in from time ta time caepaecaesurae Tsk, pardon.  It read like teasing again carnivalsoration haha nah. i just like seeing you dream caepaecaesurae Tsk I suppose dreamer's as good a wvord for it as any carnivalsoration yeah idealist, dreamer. i been lead ta believe they're the same thing, cept dreamers don't try as hard to make their shit come true caepaecaesurae An interesting difference Chasing perfection is an interesting game. carnivalsoration yeah. idealists are people who got a place to go. dreamers already found the place they wanna be and it's in their skull and you're definitely more the former. but ya know... nothin wrong with dreamin from time to time caepaecaesurae WVhat about someone wvhose dreams are easy to make real? carnivalsoration lucky :o) either that or soon ta be disillusioned. if they're easy ta make real then they probably weren't that great ta begin with. either way, soon they'd be dreamin somethin else i think caepaecaesurae True enough It's easy to lose interest in a dream that came easily carnivalsoration this is like three levels deep into old man philosophising for me, how bout you caepaecaesurae This wvell doesn't really havwe a bottom, and I can divwe forevwer carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae I hear tell some people havwe trouble holding their breath quite so long Rumors, you knowv. "Air". They like talking about things that, you knowv, exist Or matter carnivalsoration for the young, i like metaphors with only the slimmest basis in reality and relevance caepaecaesurae It can be a fun game to see howv long it takes them to realise you aren't actually saying anything. caepaecaesurae Been a wvhile since I'vwe done that one. carnivalsoration fuck hahahahahaha caepaecaesurae "Ah yes, the paint wveathers wvith time." "Yes, you havwe it, it's like the birds." carnivalsoration half the time i'm not sure if i'm sayin much either, but considerin how many younglings come up to me for advice like i got a handle on things, it's way funner to just say whatever comes to mind and then they leave feelin more sure, either cuz they found sense in what i said, or cuz they know at least they make more sense than me caepaecaesurae I generally try to havwe a point.  I alwvays mean something. WVhether I manage is anyone's guess. Trolls under about ten tend to call me a blowvhard. Not a fan of that. carnivalsoration yeah i don't talk to many trolls under ten i dunno. i have a point but most of it's just like... what i learned is roundabouts what they're lookin to hear, or what other people were lookin to hear when they asked carnivalsoration and then the rest of it just leads back to 'do what makes you happy' with the caveat of 'try not to be a tool' caepaecaesurae I think you'vwe just described howv age and experience wvorks. carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae You're in a light mood It's a interesting change.  You wvere slightly grimmer wvhen wve met carnivalsoration yeah! 's a good night caepaecaesurae I'm glad carnivalsoration hey, i got a Not Rejection and then a whole bunch a jumpin down a rabbit hole just for the fun of thinkin through semantics and motivation carnivalsoration talkin on life is nice, and as long as it don't lead to nothin maudlin i enjoy it. caepaecaesurae It's nice to bring some good to the wvorld carnivalsoration gay caepaecaesurae And I am fond of wvaxing philosophical somenights tsk carnivalsoration hahahahahaha i can't remember what the point of the conversation was anymore or the new point i guess, i figured out the first one oh yeah, we was talkin about you bein an idealist. ... and then i think you mighta started vaguin about your aspect shit at one point caepaecaesurae A bit It's true no matter howv it happens, magic or not, though.  A dream realised quickly is.... shallowv. No matter wvhat that dream consists of. carnivalsoration yeah. sometimes fuckers gotta dream of the little things, to keep goin. but... i dunno, i think it plays back into effort verses result again caepaecaesurae Aye Structure is important carnivalsoration people don't look at effort enough, i think. fuckers struggle with different things, and measurin em by how hard they're strugglin equalizes things a lot better caepaecaesurae It does caepaecaesurae I'm sorry, I'm distracted, I'm thinking about you naked. carnivalsoration oh fuck > Damnit you're flustered, that was sudden as hell. and then what ;o) > Flawless caepaecaesurae No, I think you had it right, do you havwe a fewv minutes? carnivalsoration honk yeah i got time caepaecaesurae I really wvish I understood my pan, sometimes. carnivalsoration > Did you say something sexy in there what the hell happened. > You're not arguing, but /what the hell happened/ oh, cool, am i not the only one confused? caepaecaesurae Oh, hardly, I just roll wvith it. carnivalsoration your place or mine, brother? hahahahaha caepaecaesurae I could be right ovwer carnivalsoration :o! aight

[asktheseacowvboys]

Guys i lovwe my moirail so fuckin much

[caepaecaesurae]

> Cae Hates The Word “Victim”

caepaecaesurae

I'm not that functional of a troll, chief.  I spend all of evwery night wvith my moirail because neither of us handle long absenses wvell. There's plenty of normal people things I'm learning howv to do again, but ...

carnivalsoration .... hm

caepaecaesurae And yes, it's under control and improvwing

carnivalsoration what happens, when you're apart?

caepaecaesurae Tsk. I hope you understand my initial skepticism

carnivalsoration i do. this isn't part of some evil plan to rip you apart from him just to see what happens, and also you can tell me to fuck off

carnivalsoration i just like knowin you

caepaecaesurae I think my moirail is none of anyone's business, but I tend to get Like This Or wvorse

caepaecaesurae I actually havwe some vwoodoo keeping me from obsessing about anything for too long

caepaecaesurae About certain things

carnivalsoration huh... i wanna look. i know i can't. but i wanna.

caepaecaesurae It's been effectivwe, those parts don't bother me as much anymore.

carnivalsoration yeah, that sorta voodoo therapy exists the girl i know who does it best is actually the girl who's probably been over on prosperity a lot. she likes helpin trauma victims

caepaecaesurae I think Arlequin's all I need, for that. I'm not a trauma vwictim

carnivalsoration ...... uh huh. are you sayin dyin wasn't traumatic?

caepaecaesurae I am not a vwictim and it is not trauma I am occasioanlly understandably perturbed.

carnivalsoration i see. occasionally. what the fuck do you think is wrong with victims of trauma that you don't wanna be one?

caepaecaesurae It is perfectly reasonable and not trauma. I'm just not one.

carnivalsoration why aren't you one?

caepaecaesurae I'm not a vwictim and I havwe it handled.

carnivalsoration is it the word 'victim', the fact it sounds like you were passive even though you said you fought for your life? (which i know is a terrifying situation, especially when you lose) or is it sayin your situation was traumatic?

carnivalsoration then a sufferer of trauma. a survivor?

caepaecaesurae I remember once, I had this wvonderful brandy.  Carefully hand-curated by this lovwely blueblood for a solid twvo hundred swveeps, she said it wvas one of her first bottled WVould you like some of my best recollection of it?

carnivalsoration you gotta know what trauma means. it just means wounded. weren't you wounded by what happened?

caepaecaesurae She really wvas an artist, she did wvell by sharing that vwintage wvith me.   I made her rich ovwer the swveeps.

carnivalsoration victim: a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. that's you to a t

caepaecaesurae There's a certain wveakness to being a vwictim.

carnivalsoration you were killed. and wounded by it. it fuckin persists.

carnivalsoration there's an idea of weakness. but it's stupid.

caepaecaesurae Too bad, I'm stupid

carnivalsoration so you don't wanna be a victim of trauma just because it makes you sound weak

caepaecaesurae Tsk. You havwe done it, you havwe unravweled the entire mystery. WVhy evwer might I be prickly about that.