#YEAH FOR HOWV LONG

[amoressb]

✦ LATE NIGHT LIVE

PAIRINGS — idol bf!riki x reader

IN WHICH — riki goes live with you and shows off your matching pjs

you were waiting for riki outside of the recording studio patiently. you had a little surprise for him when he came out. before you came to the studio you had saw these cute cookie monster pjs and thought it would be cute for you and niki to wear them together and now here you are.

“oh hey y/n!” you hear a voice say. you look to your left and see sunoo. “hey sunoo howve you been?” you smile at him. “ive been good so far, pretty tired tho. glas recordings over so i can go home now. are you here for riki?” he assumes seeing that you have a little bag saying for riki on it. “yeah got him a little something!” you open the bag for him to see. “aw thats cute, you really do bring out his soft side. he should be getting out now tho so ill see you later!” he waves to you. “byeee!” you smile waving bye to him.

about a minute or two later the door opens revealing your boyfriend. he looks to his side smiling immediately upon seeing you, “hey baby, how long have you been here?” he pulls you in by the waist gently. “mm maybe like 10 minutes ago?” you look away from him thinking. “but anyways i got you a little something here!” you stated getting out if his grip and grabbing the little bag. he smiles grabbing the bag from you and opening it to see a pair of blue cookie monster pajama pants. “really baby?” he states chuckling.

“lets wear them tonight yeah?!” you smile waiting for a response. “yeah but im scheduled for a live tonight, ill still wear them tho okay” he holds you cheek smiling tilting his head at you a little. you say nod happily, grab his hand and make your way home. riki couldnt help but smile at you. you being so excited to match with him and everything, he loved it. he couldnt wait to get home and match with you.

finally getting home, you both immediately went to change into your pjs and a simple black shirt. riki started setting up his live on your vanity since it had a light up mirror while you sat behind him on the couch making sure youre not in the background. riki started the live and comments immediately started rolling in. “hey guys hope youre all well” he smiled waving at the camera.

how was youre day riki !!

“my day was good we simply recorded our bits for some songs then i got surprised by a special someone” he states looking off camera to you smiling. engenes already knew who riki was talking about. you. they absolutely adored you and loved the noticeable difference in riki.

is she with you?

can we see her !!

“yeah shes behind me off camera actually” he looked at you still smiling. “cmere baby they wanna see you” riki holds out his hand to you. you grab his hand smiling cheekily and made your way into the camera.

omg i love her pjs !!

“thank you i just bought them today!” she happily states. “yeah were matching actually look!” riki smiles happily and stands next to you, grabbing your waist gently. you both see the comments going crazy at how cute you guys look. riki turns to you and gives you a kiss on your cheek.

riki takes his seat again and pats his lap looking at you. understanding what he means you take a seat on his lap and almost immediately riki wraps his hands around your waist and lays his head on your shoulder. the engenes see this and they absolutely love it omg.

ni-ki is my standard.

theyre so cute i want what they have !!

idk about you but i want y/n🤷‍♀️

“well you cant have her but you can still keep those edits coming yk” he looks away with a grin. you lean into the camera and wink, “dw im always yours engenes.” riki immediately gave you his signature side eye while loosening his grip on you. the comments started laughing at the scene in front of them. you also started laughing and turned to him, reaching your hand up to his cheek, bringing his face closer to you, giving him a kiss on the cheek. he looked away breaking into a smile. the rest if the live was just you and riki flirting at (many) times and for some reason riki constantly bringing up that he was matching pjs with you. he was just that happy about matching with you.

“bye engenes have a good night” you and riki say waving then turning off the live. it was noticeable you two were tired so both immediately jump into your shared bed getting into the covers cuddling up to each other closely. “that was acute live riki” you say stroking his cheek softly seeing his eyes are already closed. he simply hums and gets closer to you if thats even possible. “goodnight riki i love you” “goodnight princess i love you too” he mumbles sleepily. you chuckle and kiss his forehead and you both went off into dreamland.

* happy birthday to my bby riki !! *

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas! howve you been?

im hoping you might have some lovely words of wisdom to spare for me ahaha, i seem to have found myself in a situation of sorts

ive made a few new friends lately and i love them to pieces - all of them <3 ive been getting particularly close to one girl though, and it feels like theres something romantic there between us, yknow?

but, curveball. this other girl in the friend group recently admitted to having a crush not only on her, but on me too. i did politely decline her and nothings changed there, but shes not aware of any of whats been going on between myself and the girl i like

i feel like its such a dick move to try to take it anywhere with the girl i like when i know how this other girl feels about us both, but it feels wrong to not to anything either. like, i know it would be so selfish and cruel to basically rub it in her face by trying to get together, but in this sort of situation is it actually a bad thing for me to be selfish?

i do have quite the history of people pleasing so im mostly just trying to figure out if this is me sacrificing my own wants just to people please or whether its genuinely an awful thing for me to do?

sending love!!

Hi!

Okay so first question: Were you friends with your friend who you don't like first? Like long before you met the girl you like? Or are you super close to her? Because if yes, then yeah it's a bit shit of you to kind of ignore her feelings to be with the girl you like. Friend code, and all that, you know? At the very least, you should talk to her first and see how she feels, to show you respect her feelings.

But if you all met around the same time/you aren't close to her, then I feel like I wouldn't blame you for dating the girl you like. You shouldn't always have to put other people's feelings first. You just need to know that your friend you don't like might not be able to handle that and might be upset or need some space, and that's also valid. Like you wouldn't be a jerk for doing that, but there still might be fallout.

I'm sorry, I know it's not the most positive answer and it's a tough decision <3

[serfuzzypushover]

I would love to hear you explain cronkri quadrant deal in full detail

oh god youll regret this...

lets start off wwith kankri. cronus wwas someone she wouldnt b particularly interested in at the vvery start of the game imo. that is until she noticed a change in his behavvior/beliefs. she wwas the first to notice that cronus gradually lost an interest in ✨magic✨ and seemed awwkwardly trying to find anything to latch onto afterwwards. kankri wwould probably do this wwith the others too, seer of blood an wwhatnot, but cronus in particular made her feel a sort of pity she couldn explain. she probably doesn realize it but i think she wwould devvelop at least a crush lol. i dont think kankri wwould approach him about it, just observvin from afar and treating him like normal. after their deaths, she wwould try her shot at actually befriending him tho! cause hey theyr dead. they havve nothin else to do. thats howw she wwould excuse it at least

noww cronus. boy do i havve a lot to say about cronus. identity issues all around, that guy has no idea wwho he is and he wwill take on any persona that he thinks wwill make ppl like him. unfortunately rn that means: toxic masculinity, honestly really bad lackluster and obvvious manipulation tactics, objectification ect ect. take that and mix it wwith growwin up in a society thats expecting you to belittle evveryone beloww you in a caste system and yikes 😬! he wwas more than likely livving a great life on beforus. lonely but great. too great in fact. look he reads like a kid wwho really romanticizes oppression wwhen he himself has nevver dealt wwith it. taking on the role of a poor wwizard boy wwho wwas belittled and neglected but is actually the chosen one and then he wwins the day and evveryone lovves him or wwhatevver... im team he read a troll vversion of harry potter and just really wwanted to be him lol. turns out tho only aranea is at most only a tiny bit interested in his nerdy make-believve... i see him getting really attached to others wwho showw him evven the slightest hint of attention and that included aranea and maybe mituna wwhen he wwas a kid. not that either of them WWERE his actual friends, but cronus wwould havve seen them that wway. anywway back to kankri, this is a cronkri analysis lmao—he probably nevver paid attention to her during the game. shes a mutant. wwhatevver. not wworth his time. but then after they die, kankri starts to talk to him like friends and like usual he gets attached. cronus, recently havvin had his "human awwakin", is in a wway, subconsciously jealous of kankri. she has the correct blood color, she is a land dwweller and theres so many little things about her that makes her the closest a troll could be to a human. i dont think he realizes it, but somethin in him is tellin him to not fuck this one up. wwhat hes feeling probably isnt flushed, pale or evven romantic in a sense, but thats probably the only wway he could think to describe it. "ah see, this must be howv humans feel lowve!" says the aromantic, confidently.

so yeah basically cronus has stupid baka human emotions and thats wwhy his life is crumbling ofc... if they wwere to start dating in either red quadrant it wwould probably b a disaster. looking fine from the outside and evven havving some moments wwhere it is okay, but i dont think they could wwork long term as romantic. cronus' feelings are based on objectification n are probably bordering on fetishistic and kankri 100% has a sort of "i can fix him" mentality... i see them lasting 2 months. they are my otp and i lovve them and i wwill continue to draww them kissing ❤️

[valentine-cafe]

OMG I’M SOSOSO SORRY FOR MY LONG DISAPPEARANCE😭😭 i literally hv no excuse, i jst forgor that i hv this app here😞 im so so so so so sorry please forgive me .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.

That aside, HOWVE YOU TWO BEEN??? Pls tell me everything you two have done this month so far if u don’t mind lol💕💕 i hope you two ARE taking care of yourselves! And as usual I thank you two for the hardwork to please your readers🥹

I’m about to ramble a bit here - I hope you two don’t mind it at all (╥﹏╥) so i broke my glasses (wow) now i have to wear my old ones for the time being lolol🥲, i’ve also finished 2 books this month! Yippie :3 The Masochism Tango has me on leash— ahem- anyways— that’s all, i hope you don’t mind mee😞😞

Again, despite already mentioning this earlier in the ask, i’m going to say it again — PLEASE DO REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES!!! Eat healthy, get enough sleep, stay hydrated, go on breaks if you need to, remember that you don’t have you carry your burdens alone, spend your time with people you love and stop overthinking about things that’ll make you worry too much! Ily two soooo much so you should too! 🌷🌷

—💐, xoxo

﹙ 🍒. ﹚ ─── 💐 dearest 🥹 welcome back! you don't have to apologise dear! life gets busy and then sometimes we forget about the medias we usually go onto! you needn't no forgiveness for your reasons are fine, even then, we're simply glad to see you are well dear :,))

we really hope you are doing well too and that you've been healthy, in both the mental and physical aspects of things. I hope too, that your creativity is abundant and full of motivation so that your mind is nurtured with love and lots of inspiration!

how've you been dear?

sorry for this late reply, I know you know stuff has been quite hectic on the blog these past few weeks now- but

Also your glasses broke??? SOBS gid hon I really hope you've been able to get hold of some new ones- having to wear old glasses can be such a pain. . . also good job on finishing the books!

Please take care of yourself too yeah? Get lots of fresh air when possible and remember to eat, hydrate, rest and drink when your body asks you of it. We love you so so much, thank you for your bright soul and life coming around here, sending so so many hugs

[suguella]

i totally knew that …….. yeah def ……. totally didn’t forget

BUT HOWVE YOU BEEN

LMAOOOO ITS OKAY BUT IM GOOD 🤍 BACK ON MY WRITING GRIND FRRR AND IM TRYING (keyword) TO DO A POWER THEME AND IRS STRESSING ME OUTTT

BUT HOW ARE YOU ML? ITS BEEN WAY TOO LONG AND WE NEED YOU BACK ON HEREEEE

[ihatebnha]

Bro wtg okay beare with me I just woke up I had a Bakugo dream

I don't even like bakugo like that dafuq

So okay it starts out like. In my dream I'm Ina panic because I haven't been to college in a really long time. Even though I'd graduated lmao but dream logic. And in the dream it's because of taken a break off of school, but I was visiting the campus for whatever reason, just walking through the halls, trying to find my advisors office because it's been ages andi forgot where

And then I exit out the side building and start walking through the grounds and I'm about to leave when this girl comes out and follows me, and she's like, my old classmate. (My for real memory classmate even tho like I don't remember her name now)

And we start talking, and she's like "it's been awhile, it's good seeing you. Howve you been?" And I'm answering as short as possible because like fff trying to leave as quickly as possible.

And then she's like "bakugo misses you yanno." And awake me rn is like ????? But dream me was awkwardly like "yeah, I know."

And she tells me "you should go see him." And I don't give her a direct answer but then my dream does that smash cut thing where the scenery changes but you roll with it, and I'm having lunch with bakugo.

Real fucjin awkward cause he's like, glaring at me as we eat. Not even talkin, just me shoving food in my mouth to avoid talking.

Until finally Bakugo was like "what took you so fuckin long?" Because I was taking a break from school but from the sounds of it, I was also taking a break from /him/ which is wild.

And I explain to him that I got scared and overwhelmed and needed time away to figure myself out.

Talking about school but ALSO about him dun dun dunnnnnn

And then he got real quiet, and then he like. Karate chopped my head, but like real gentle like. And then he came up around the table and he hugged me.

And he just says "don't go away again."

And then I woke up. More coherent now and I'm kicking myself for waking up so quickly because??? What even. Anyway that's my bakugo dream

Okay before i start this, you "don't even like bakugo like that???" WHERE DO U THINK U ARE, BESTIE??? this is bakugo's house, thats the real THE FUCK???

anyway. i said this to u already and i say this about dreams a lot in general, but i am EXTREMELY jealous of u. extremely. a whole college au in your head? where bakugo MISSES U???

it honestly sounds like a fic!!!!! like, U WERE OVERWHELMED AND HE LITERALLY GAVE U A HUG??? you go back to bed right now and wrap this up rn bc thats so GRRR RRR ARFBARKBARK BARK!!

but anyway. lucky u.

[seungstarss]

SEIII HI ITS BEEN SO LONGG HOWVE U BEEN??? also I saw your post abt book reccs so here I am !!! I highly recommend:

the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo - this is like, everyone's favourite idk

the other Mrs miller - I read this a long time ago so I don't exactly remember everything, but I'm pretty sure this was a thriller typa thing >.< either way, I remember it being good !

on earth, we are briefly gorgeous - this one is very emotional and literally made me shed ugly tears 😭

that's all I have for now but if u prefer a specific genre, don't hesitate to tell me so I can recommend u stuff in your liking ! ~

OMSGSAJAGA OMG⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ MIRAI THANK YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FCK OMG 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍 but omg I'm actually currently reading the seven husbands of evelyn Hugo as we speak 🤩🤩🤩 it's so intriguing as of now,,, currently on the Don Adler section hehe

BUt HELLO??? THE OTHER TWO SEEM SO GOOD?? like I'm a suckered for thriller books so hell yeah I'm def gonna give that a go! Also the last one???? ANGST YOU SAY⁉️⁉️⁉️💔💔💔 bestie you know imma check it out

But OMLL tysm for the recs🥺🥺 I'm so excited to get back into reading eheh

[agirldying]

howve you been doing?

I’ve been okay, it’s been a little rough dealing with my nana’s passing, I wasn’t the absolute closest to her but she meant a lot to me and thousands of other people in the community and yeah. 

Yesterday was her memorial and even though we tried to keep it lighthearted, it’s of course kinda hard to do. It was the first time I honestly let myself be emotional in front of other people, and I was hugging relatives during sentimental moments, which I’ve always shied away from (because emotions, ick). It was kinda nice to let myself just do what I needed to do emotionally. I took a break after the ceremony and went down to the pond and just cried, and I honestly felt a lot better after doing that. Then we had a big delicious dinner with chicken, potatoes, and salad, and talked to some of the other people there. It was honestly a good night and a good bonding experience with the whole family.

Another thing I did yesterday that I am also usually shy about is that I sang on stage. I’m honestly pretty self-conscious of my voice because to me it sounds like a little boy’s and I’m often mistaken for one over the phone and stuff, but I know that I can generally sing on-tune. So all my nana’s granddaughters (me, my sister, all my female cousins) went up on stage and sang Mary Had a Baby since it was one of our nana’s favorites. A couple people came up to me afterwards and congratulated me for doing that and complimented my voice, which really helped.

I had to wake up at 6am today to head back to school, a 4 hour drive. So it’s been a long day. But now I have some time to quench the 13 asks that were in my inbox lol.

I’m feeling good now, not amazing of course, but I’m feeling better and a little more like, resolved, as far as grieving goes.

Thanks for checking in.

[saxxxology]

BITTEN - Ch.4

After getting bitten by a werewolf, Sam finds himself trying to adapt to a brand new lifestyle that brings him closer to the girl he loves, but threatens to tear him apart from his family for good.

PAIRING: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

WORD COUNT: ~2200

WARNINGS: non-consensual werewolf bite (not sexual), a/b/o dynamics: heat/rut, knotting, claiming, breeding kink, angst, time hop (season 9 to 12), and more.

NOTE: Edited by @kayteonline and @kittenofdoomage - please heed all warnings and enjoy! This is NOT intended to be a dark fic, but if you read something that bothers you, it is your responsibility to stop reading, keep scrolling past it, or contact me for content clarification.

Buy Sam’s scent from my Etsy shop

Read the entire series on Patreon for just $3

Series Masterlist

THIS WORK IS 18+ ONLY. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK ON ANY OTHER SITES.

Dean was in the kitchen when you walked up. He was cradling a large cup of coffee in one hand, and when he saw you emerge from the basement, his gaze fixed on you.

“How is he?” he asked urgently, “is he okay?”

You nodded. “It’s over. He’s fine, just hungry. Where’s Garth?”

“He went out with Bess. She’s in shock over what happened, so he took her to a safehouse out of state.” Dean watched as you pulled a pan from the rack on the wall and set it on the stove. “What do you mean by ‘fine?’”

“He’s not in pain anymore, his fever went down.” You cracked eggs into a bowl and whisked them around. “He just needs to recuperate for a few days, maybe a week.”

“Can I see him?” Dean asked.

You nodded and pulled a couple bagged chicken hearts from the fridge. “After he’s eaten. He’s gonna be stronger than normal for a while, so we gotta keep his human contact minimal.” You heard Dean exhale heavily as you started chopping the hearts into chunks. “Dean, I know you wanted to find a cure, but there’s nothing you could have done. I’ve seen people get bit and go through a lot worse. At least he’s alive. He’s a little different than he was yesterday, but he’s alive.”

Dean nodded and leaned against the counter. “You’re really intent on taking care of him, huh?”

“It’s my job to take care of my pack.” You replied, pulling four sausages from the fridge and tossing them in the pan, along with an entire pack of bacon. “Russ and Joba are gone. The Reverend’s… well, let’s just say I’m in charge of the pack, now. I care for Sam, deeply. If it were up to me I would have killed Joy myself so that didn’t happen.”

You heard Dean scoff, but when you looked at him you could see he was grinning.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Dean finished his beer and set the empty bottle on the counter. “Just… I never thought you’d actually spook over a guy getting turned.”

You shrugged. “I know when to care about someone getting bit. I wanted Sam to leave, I wanted him to forget about me, about the pack. I never wanted him to get bit.”

Dean nodded shortly. “The way I look at it now is, he could have been bitten and left to die. At least this way he’s got you and Garth and Bess to look after him, make sure he won’t get into trouble.”

You finished cooking in silence. Piling most of what you’d cooked onto a large plate, you slid one of the sausage links, a small pile of eggs, and several strips of bacon on a separate one, which you offered Dean. He accepted it gratefully, noting that you’d cooked the chicken hearts in  a separate pan. When you re-entered the basement, you found Sam sitting up and stretching his arms above his head.

“I could smell that from down here,” he muttered, turning his head to look at you, “is that normal?”

You handed him the plate and watched him begin to devour the food, shoveling a mixture of everything into his mouth with a fork that seemed comically small in his large hands. “Yeah, it’s pretty normal. And don’t worry about eating everything there, your appetite’s going to be pretty out there for the next couple days.”

Within minutes, Sam had completely annihilated the food on the plate. He tilted his head back against the wall, his lips parted as he sighed in satisfaction. “There was a heart in there, wasn’t there?”

“Two. Small ones, just chicken, nothin’ special.” You took the plate from him and set it down on the floor before snuggling into him. “How do you feel?”

Sam exhaled heavily and slipped an arm around your shoulders. “Not hungry anymore, definitely not tired… I feel strong. Stronger than before.” He flexed his arms, examining the muscles that bulged under the gray sleepshirt. He seemed bigger. “Actually, I feel like I need to run, get out…”

“There’s the punching bag.” You gestured to the slightly misshapen tool in the corner. “I can’t let you out yet, gotta know you can control yourself around humans.”

“Humans…” Sam looked down at his lap and swallowed. “That’s right, I’m not human anymore.”

You shook your head. “That’s not entirely true. You’re still human here,” you put a hand over his heart. “You’ll still be able to function like a human, your instincts are just rewired a bit, that’s all.”

Sam scoffed. “Yeah, what happens when I wolf out and go nuts?”

“That won’t happen.” You nuzzled his shoulder and stood with him as he shuffled over to the punching bag. He gave it an experimental nudge with his fist. “Want to see Dean?”

He nodded apprehensively. “Yeah, but I don’t wanna try to hurt him.”

“Sam, you won’t—”

“You don’t know that. Make sure I don’t try to hurt him.”

You bowed your head and trotted back up the stairs, closing and locking the cage door behind you. Dean was still waiting in the kitchen, and he stood upon seeing you emerge from the basement.

“You can see him, but we have to be careful,” you said quietly. “If he smells you he could try to get at you, that’s gonna be his first instinct. The cage door down there has silver on it, so if he tries anything it’ll hurt, bad, but I need you to stay on the stairs, keep your distance.”

Dean held his hands up as if in surrender. “Trust me, I’ll be keepin’ my distance.”

You led him down the basement, slowly, his boots clunking heavily on the thick wooden planks. You could hear the dull, repetitive THWACK of Sam’s fists against the punching bag, but after the basement door closed, they ceased, and the space fell silent as you and Dean came down the steps. A little more than halfway down, you motion for him to stop.

“Dean, stay here.”

He nodded quietly and waited for you to slip past the cage, locking it behind you.

Sam was standing in the corner by the punching bag, his arms folded across his middle. You motioned for him to walk over, but he shook his head. “Y/N, I can’t… I don’t want him to see me like this. I can smell him, I can hear his heartbeat.”

“You won’t hurt him.” You walked closer to him, reaching for one of his hands. “Sam, come on, I’ll be there. The door’s got silver on it, you won’t be able to get out.”

Sam lowered his voice. “What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t. Now come on.” You led him slowly over to the wire door. His heartbeat increased with every step, and you heard his breathing grow more and shakier.

When Dean came into view, you didn’t know if Sam was going to recoil or lunge at the gate. He could hear Dean’s heartbeat, steady and slow, the rush of blood pumping through his veins, traces of whiskey and cedar covering up the thick, coppery scent…

...No, stop it! That’s your brother! You wouldn’t bite your own brother!

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice was quiet as he took another step down the stairs. “Hey, it’s me.”

Sam paused, took a deep breath. “I know.” He looked down at the ground and closed his eyes, trying as hard as he could to stop from hurling himself at the wall of the cage. “How’ve you been?”

“Uh, worried, for one,” Dean chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood, “I went out for a little during the night, tried looking for a cure or something…”

“Yeah.” Sam swallowed and clenched his fist. He didn’t know what the fuck was happening, but all he wanted to do was break out of the cage and rip his brother’s chest apart, get at the thick, pulsing muscle that was hidden behind bone and sinew, devour the warm, blood-drenched organ that kept his brother alive…

No! Goddamn it! Stop!

“I thought you’d be gone.” Sam cleared his throat as a fresh wave of hunger washed over him.

“Had to make sure you’re okay, didn’t I?” Dean caught your warning glance to stay where he was and decided not to take the last two steps down. Hell, he might be too close already. “How do you feel?”

Sam swallowed thickly as you increased the pressure on his hand. “Honestly, I feel good. I’m strong, I’m not hurting, just wanna get the hell out of here.”

“And why can’t you?” Dean shifted his gaze back and forth between you and Sam.

“Because if I get out of here I’m not gonna be able to stop myself from trying to hurt you or someone else,” Sam stated bluntly.

Dean seemed taken aback by Sam’s words. Apparently, he hadn’t considered just how dangerous Sam really was until he’d said it. “Sam, you wouldn’t.”

“You don’t know what I’d do, Dean, hell, I don’t know what I’d do.” Sam’s body trembled as he spoke, but he stood his ground. “The only reason I’m not going after you right now is that I know I shouldn’t, but if Y/N wasn’t here with me, if this happened somewhere else… I don’t know if either of us would be alive right now.”

You saw Dean swallow, saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, and heard Sam growl, low and deep in his chest.

“Sam, don’t say that.”

“You’re not in the place to tell me what to do, Dean.” Sam retorted. “I’m a monster, both of us know that. You don’t know how… how hungry I feel right now. I don’t have a friggin’ clue what’s making me feel this way, but if you weren’t my brother… I’d kill you, without thinking.”

Looking up, you noticed Sam’s upper lip beginning to twitch. He was starting to lose control. “Dean, I think you should go, this isn’t—”

Dean, obviously, didn’t listen. Instead, he did the worst thing he could. He took another step, closing the distance between him and his brother by another two feet.

Overcome by hunger, Sam snapped. You saw his eyes flash yellow as his instinct to attack sprang free. He snarled, his lips curling back over his teeth as his muscles bunch. He lunged forward, slamming all two-hundred pounds of his body against the cage. His long fingers were pointed in two-inch claws, which curled in the wire before he stumbled back with a yelp of pain; the silver on the wire had seared his skin.

Dean fell back when Sam crashed against the cage, bringing an arm up instinctively to protect his face.

“Dean!” You shouted, pulling Sam back against the far wall and holding him there. “Get out! Now!”

You saw Dean stagger to his feet his eyes fixed on the snarling beast of a man now ten feet away from him. He was staring at Sam with a mixture of fear, anger, and sorrow on his face. Sam took several half-gasping, half-growling breaths before reeling himself back in. He collapsed to the floor, his fingers pressing hard into the smooth concrete. He bowed his head as his body shook even harder.

“D-Dean, I’m sorry!” He gasped out. “I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t help—”

The door at the top of the stairs slammed before Sam could finish, and seconds later you heard the rumble of the Impala’s engine and the grind of her tires scraping on the dirt road as she tore out of the drive and down the road.

Sam’s shoulders heaved with a sob as he collapsed back, breathing hard as he fought to still his shaking hands. The claws had vanished and his eyes were back to hazel, but he still shook with panic. “I didn’t mean to do that,” he choked, “I didn’t—I didn’t—”

“Sam, it’s okay, he’s just gone to cool off.” You soothed him. “He’ll be back, I promise.”

Sam shook his head and reached to grip your hand as you rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “No way in hell. He saw me snap and that was it. He thinks I’m a monster.” He turned his head, and you saw tears streaming from his now hazel eyes. “I am a monster.”

You sat next to him and wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could. “Oh, Sam, it’s all right. You’re not a monster, you’re not. You’re adapting to a new lifestyle, and yeah, you have some different urges, but you’re just starting out. It’s barely been an hour since you woke up, I didn’t expect you to stay under control.” You hugged him tighter and let him bury his face in the curve of your neck. “Dean got spooked, that’s all. He’ll come back.”

“Will he?” Sam straightened his back and practically glared down at you. “How can you know that? Hm? Tell me how you know my brother’s gonna come back thinking I’m still the guy he grew up with.”

TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE OPEN

If you want to see chapter 5, reblog and leave a comment! Feedback is my fuel!

Forever tags: @atc74 @becaamm @bamby0304 @crispychrissy @crashdevlin @curly-haired-disaster @emoryhemsworth @ellen-reincarnated1967 @kittenofdoomage @kayteonline @kdfrqqg @littlegreenplasticsoldier @lunarsaturn88 @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @manawhaat @mereka18 @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @oneshoeshort @percussiongirl2017 @serpentbaby @spnwoman @smallgirlbigpersonality @shaelyn102 @thelittleredwhocould @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @zombiewerewolfqueen @85natalie @81mysteriouslyme

“Bitten” tags: @linki-locks11 @lez-boatz-writez @wotinspntarnation

[olfashionedloverboy]

△How long do you spend alone in space while doing missions? And how do you handle it?

0/10

See it kinda surprises me too howv I’m kinda chill vwith it???  Like, I’m an extrovwert, there’s no real surprise there.  I need attention like I need air, an space trips can get pretty lonely.  

But it’s...chill, I guess?  Like the longest ones I’vwe had vwere a couple vweeks between stations?  Three max?  Like don’t get me vwrong, by the time I dock an all that I’m dyin to talk to someone face to face, meet newv people, throwv myself into the deep end a vwhatevwer hub I can find, but it ain’t all that bad.  Evwerythin’s connected these days anyvway so it’s nevwer really alone alone.  But yeah I can take a little isolation I guess, evwen if it don’t make much sense to me.  Figure shit out, me time, lots a music, all that jazz.  

[aetherive]

hey hey ranret its your boy swizzy here once again hehe :]] howve you been honestly i feel like its been too long dude loving the embracement of all and any pronouns especially neos neos are so swag hehe /gen - @unofficiallyswizzy

I am on a plane it just landed my ears hurt 👍🏽 /neu

But good! I’ve decided “fuck it we ball” for every aspect of my identity now for better or worse we’ll have to see /silly

neos are very swag yeah :] deciding to figure out which ones to use stressed me so i decided why not just all of them lol

and hru?

[ask-the-bloodswap-folks]

yeah but isnt he stuck in there with you since he got magic anon'd while he was in there with you?

“Yeah, for nowv. Wvho knowvs howv long that’ll last. Besides, wvhat if that shit starts appearing in the tank?”

M!A on: No Self Control [28/40]

M!A on: Merman [14/20]

[deputyjuyeon]

Allieeee! I saw you on my dash and literally came running here!!

How are you?? It's been a bit since we talked! What are you up to these days??

HI SUZYYYYYYYY YES ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE LAST TALKEDDD THANKS FOR REACHING OUT TO ME 💕 I HOPE UR DOING WELL

ive still been busy with basketball practice bcs my tournament doesnt start till dec, so its 4 3-hour practices in a week and in between the days i tutor someone so yeah 😅 but i still find time to write jumpshot chapters bcs i feel bad if i dont continue it or post after weeks 😔

ANYWAYS HOWVE U BEEN

[caepaecaesurae]

> Attempt Friendship, pt 2

LAST TIME: caepaecaesurae i'm sorry that part of you likes me. palteringcecutiency ...would you rather I didn't? Sunday at 10:43 AM

caepaecaesurae ...not really.  but i knowv it's making life harder for you. Monday at 12:43 AM palteringcecutiency ...there's not a lot that doesn't, and I've accepted this is... something that is sticking around. Things are... better off, trying to be friends than... otherwise. caepaecaesurae ..for both of us. palteringcecutiency ...for both of us, yes. palteringcecutiency ...you do not have to answer, but. ...what does... friendship with me, garner for you? caepaecaesurae Aside from missing you? palteringcecutiency If... there is, anything. caepaecaesurae Evwery time I try to find the wvords, I fall dowvn a mountain of reasons bearing no relation to eachother. caepaecaesurae There is more peace among the clade if wve are capable of functioning peacefully.  I wvould be frequently concerned for the man I once harmed if I had no ability to speak wvith him, or see if he wvas evwen remotely wvell.  It's nice to havwe someone to share the crasser, grimmer jokes wvith, although that devwolvwes back to missing you. caepaecaesurae The part of my mind that is unfortunately paranoid of others is appeased if I can keep others wvithin cordial convwersation distance, hence my extremely long and unfortunate history of befriending those wvho make the least sense. palteringcecutiency ...it is not difficult to keep tabs on another through those who speak to both. I... did so, when you were... offline, recently. But... if you are determined, and... enjoy, me, I won't... try to convince you otherwise. palteringcecutiency ...there is a difference between surveillance and friendship, however. caepaecaesurae It is a comfort to see first hand proof that someone is not a threat, at times... but you are correct. Part of me misses you. palteringcecutiency ...what kind of proof, are you looking for? I... am not the most... skilled, at reassuring, and. If there is something specific that would help, I'd... like the knowledge, at the very least. caepaecaesurae Talking to you wvhen you're like this puts my pan at ease a bit. ..I don't knowv if it's more complicated than that. palteringcecutiency ...it seems so little for... so much. caepaecaesurae ..maybe, maybe not. really did miss you chief. palteringcecutiency ...you keep saying, and I... do not think I... understand... how much. caepaecaesurae WVhen you got here, I knowv I should'vwe been thinking of Alternia.  I should'vwe let that be at the front, I knowv wve both livwed that life unspeakably longer than the first, bu wvhat I sawv wvas Mituna being able to talk straight and sass people and it wvas a relief. palteringcecutiency ...I. Can understand that, somewhat. The feeling, in general, to have Beforus override sense. But... neither of those parties are ones I would...  only call friends. ...none of them were... enough, to do so. I cannot figure out if the problem is you, or... me. caepaecaesurae i think the phrasing is getting careful enough that you're losin me a little. "only call friends"? palteringcecutiency ...pardon. I... do not want to accuse, only understand, and I'm... having difficulty reconciling this side with yours, and I... don't know what the problem is. ...the two... that have been successful, so far, are... were, quadrants. ...Kurloz and I are courting pale because we keep... being pale, without noticing, despite... everything else. Latula... it is going to be... interesting, when she reincarnates, I. Miss her dearly, painfully some nights, though I know it's... pointless. ...but I don't... get attached, easily, so I... don't know if you're excessive or I'm... cold. caepaecaesurae .. I don't knowv if you're cold but I'm definitely excessivwe. palteringcecutiency ...ah. That would be... it, then. > Caesurae spends three minutes consulting Kankri and Nadaya on whether it would be a good idea to hit enter, before ... caepaecaesurae ...also for wvhat it's wvorth you might care to remember that I had crushes on almost all of our friend group, on Beforus. ..that I frequently tried to act on, often simultaneously. You wveren't immune.  Though it's faded out and no longer... a factor. palteringcecutiency ...you what palteringcecutiency I. I don't remember that at all?? I mean, I remember the part about you asking everyone out under the moon but. I thought that was out of desperation? Not. Not like. Are you /sure/. caepaecaesurae Just because I wvas bad at it doesn't mean there wveren't sincere feelings under there somewvhere. Evweryone wvas attractivwe, and I could see wvondrous possibilities in each of them.  Aside from Horuss and Kur, towvards the end. palteringcecutiency ...but. Are you. Me?? Of all people, /me/?? The whole time?? ...oh god. The entire time. caepaecaesurae I wvas a real prize, I knowv. palteringcecutiency I. Fuck, I didn't. Notice? At all?? I mean, the, undercurrent part, obviously, I just... for how long?? And /why/? caepaecaesurae You're clevwer, wve havwe the same sense of humor (gods help us all), and teasing about the injury boards and mutations and my assorted, numerous failures all seemed to flowv vwery smoothly. You wvere a friend, I liked you. palteringcecutiency Fuck. palteringcecutiency I. Believe I need a moment. caepaecaesurae That's fair. caepaecaesurae ... I'm not entirely sure wvhy it's a surprise I had crushes on evweryone, but apparently that is a running theme. palteringcecutiency It's. More that it was on me of all people, than anything. I didn't think... I didn't have any reason to pry deeper. caepaecaesurae To be entirely blunt, wve wvere both little shits. caepaecaesurae I think the wvay wve got along fit wvell, at the time.  Including you apparently not noticing. It's for the best. palteringcecutiency Well /yeah/, the theoretics make sense, and we definitely did, but... Mm. ...what. Makes you say that, specifically? caepaecaesurae If it had gone anywvhere, I wvould'vwe been just as much of a little shit, and then you'd havwe had to deal wvith my teen attempts to learn howv romance wvorks, wvhich are regrettable in general and I am glad that fewv here havwe any experience wvith that. And that wvould havwe led to evwen further complications here. palteringcecutiency Yes, because I was a thoroughly suave romantic myself, having figured out what to do with people who honestly liked me enough to date me at the ripe age of six. ...on your end or mine, because I'm rather sure it's a drop in the ocean at this point, compared to Kurloz and Her. caepaecaesurae You didn't do too poorly wvith Latula and Kur, chief caepaecaesurae I mean, complications from the other life aside palteringcecutiency You mean the moiraillegence that was ashen on my end half of the time, and the messy quagmire that left because neither of us knew what the shit was happening? Or the fact that I only started courting Latula because Kurloz literally placed me in front of her and left, and only continued because she thought my fumbled flustering was charming for god knows what reason? You should know by now that nothing with me is what it seems, after this long and this many times. caepaecaesurae WVell apparently I don't, so there. Nevwer underestimate my wvillingness to believwe the things you literally say to me. palteringcecutiency Well stop that. caepaecaesurae I don't think you can make me. palteringcecutiency Stubbornly clinging to a blatant weakness is a bit much even for you, Cro. caepaecaesurae You'd rather I trust my owvn judgement than that of others? That's a laugh. palteringcecutiency Over /mine/? I'd think /you/ would rather. caepaecaesurae But then I'm being insensitivwe and not listening to you. And making decisions for you wvithout accounting for your side. palteringcecutiency ...you'd gamble that I'm not abusing an easy button to avoid even the possibility of that. caepaecaesurae To be honest, if you wvere wvilling to be nefarious at me, I'd already be in ruins. I don't havwe much to lose by just believwing you and going by wvhatevwer you say. I don't see the downvside palteringcecutiency ...Cronus, I've been doing my damnedest since I've gotten here. caepaecaesurae You'vwe also mentioned more than once howv the fact other people care about both of us is a stumbling block palteringcecutiency To turn your paradise into hell the best I could, only you built it too well before I got here. caepaecaesurae ...wvhat havwe you tried to do? palteringcecutiency To be a thorn in your side, smear the dirt of your past all over for people to see, to tear people away from you, to turn them against you. Be a constant, fanged reminder that you're not the nice, harmless good highblood you convinced everyone of. ...none of it worked. caepaecaesurae ..I noticed the reminders. I did almost leavwe tumblr once. There's some wvho are more cautious around me than they wvould havwe been, and a fewv close to me wvho wvere not as friendly to the Alternian half of me wvhen I wvas split as I had hoped caepaecaesurae ... You're in your rights to complain about that sort of thing as openly as you care to. I don't think that counts as nefarious, no matter howv little I personally enjoy it wvhen it comes up. palteringcecutiency Goodness, really, let me just dig out my empty notebook of victories to jot this down, right next to the one time I got to someone before you did. caepaecaesurae .. I'm not going to fight you on this, either, Mituna. palteringcecutiency I'm not either, it doesn't matter. I've given up trying. The allies I have now are more than I expected after so long, enough to risk friendship at least, and I never was going to win no matter how hard I tried. There was just... a dream, I guess, of you being the powerless one this time around. Finally getting the upperhand on someone, get control of my life for once. Should've known better. caepaecaesurae WVould you actually feel better if you managed it? To stand, gloating, ovwer a defeated foe? caepaecaesurae You didn't like it on the roof of the castle. I'm not sure howv much you liked it, after asking Kur to showv me. palteringcecutiency That was /different/. That was me wanting to punch you and fucking up your pan instead! Any fun I got got immediately... fucked over, by that. caepaecaesurae I'm not strong enough to stand against you, Mituna. That's the other reason it's for the best that crush nevwer wvent anywvhere. palteringcecutiency ...you keep saying all this, but I've watched you for a sweep, here. You've done just as well as you did on Alternia, better even, since you have more at your disposal to use against me. How are you talking as if losing is inevitable when you've already /won/? caepaecaesurae I'vwe made friends, Mituna. I've tried to livwe my life. But the instant someone raises their vwoice, especially if they are in my clade, I lose my mind and go sit in a corner.  Hardly the most elegant of lifestyles. So I'vwe sought out peace, since it's all I knowv howv to handle. Spite has no place in my goals.  Only learning howv to exist again. WVhen I talk about standing against you, I mean a physical conflict.  I mean arguments.  I mean direct clashes, not ephemeral shadowv-games. I'm not playing any shadowv games. ...I knowv you don't believwe that and I'm not sure wvhy I'm letting myself try to talk about it again. caepaecaesurae My "vwictory" is a life wvhere I don't get hurt.  I hope that's not mutually exclusivwe wvith wvhatevwer vwictory condition you set for yourself. palteringcecutiency I... I don't... have, any. caepaecaesurae You may havwe an easier time reaching your goals, if you havwe some to reach Pick one.  Start somewvhere. palteringcecutiency ...I barely remember how to be a troll, Cro. There's... not a lot within reach. Heh, you're doing bounds and leaps better than I am, if you ever need someone to compare yourself to and come out looking better. caepaecaesurae Perhaps it feels safer, to havwe your goals all focus on tearing dowvn others, than on constructing things of your owvn.  ...I'm sure it wvas a necessity, and that the alternativwes are ancient and dusty, and I understand, and I don't blame you for it a bit. caepaecaesurae ..I'vwe had a head start, and far more luck.  I rely on my quadrants to help lead and guide me.  Sometimes my clade. ...They'vwe been helping. caepaecaesurae Evwen trying to find a goal, is a goal. palteringcecutiency ...mn. ...there's only so much anyone can do when the night's goal is 'accept having skin' and it's failed. The simple is out of reach, the beyond basic... I have been trying for... ages, in the bubbles, and I've gotten this far only to be stripped of what helped. It is. Remarkably difficult to be... hopeful, and positive, while drowning in failure. caepaecaesurae Could Sparks use technical skill or his access to the bubbles and his afterlife to arrange something that wvould help at all? caepaecaesurae ..I knowv it's hard.  I'm sorry I alwvays make it sound like there's some solution hanging just out of reach.  It feels like the opposite of givwng up, somehowv. palteringcecutiency ...he's offered to assist me in... garnering an electronic connection, but. There is a general consensus that I am not allowed to have one, and if I got one regardless, I'd be dragged out of the systems far sooner than later. palteringcecutiency It's just... frustrating, and I'm... tired, of trying constantly, of being told the fixes aren't allowed as they aren't 'healthy' enough. caepaecaesurae Maybe they'd be more open to some things, if they came wvith a scheduled, organized calendar of howv long you wvere intending to use each crutch to guide yourself forwvards.  ..not that the timing wvould be easy to guess. caepaecaesurae I'm sorry people are havwing emotions about the solutions you seek.  I'm sorry evwerything is this wvay, and I sincerely wvish it wvas easier for you. ..do any of your alternates havwe meaningful advwice about the early stages of a return to independance? palteringcecutiency ...each case is different. One still refers to himself as a machine, rejecting trollhood. One tried to exist as a troll alone, but gave up mortality to get the connection back, missing it far too much. The third... we have not spoken on such matters yet. ...none of them wish to abandon their wetware permanently, and never have, so... they do not have advice on that for me. caepaecaesurae Far from a simple puzzle, though you knowv that already. caepaecaesurae WVould gaining the connection wvithout losing the body be a step forvward?  WVould control of some robbotic drone, that you could use to navwigate the wvorld instead of the fleshier body? palteringcecutiency ...it is losing the body that I want. The connection is just... what makes that possible. caepaecaesurae ...WVould it be rude to keep asking details, to see if I can think of anything you havwen't? ..should I let it go? palteringcecutiency If you are... willing, to hear the answers, I... have no problem, giving them. It's... not pleasant, though. To warn you. caepaecaesurae Is it the sensory aspect of havwing a body, some sot of germ thing, or something else? palteringcecutiency I... abandoned my wetware, my body, for... centuries, to... because of Her. My pan expects steel and wire of a ship, it feels muscle and blood and signals something is wrong, desperately wrong, upsettingly wrong, and /focuses/ on it, so that even a slightest twitch of a muscle sounds like surround sound at max volume. ...not every night but... more often than not. Organics... have all sorts of awful reactions to stimuli, things that make no sense, things that hinder what should be easy, and I was free of all that, and now I am crammed into a fleshbag and forced to feel all of it again, and for what? For what purpose? What is so much better about being like this than being how I was? caepaecaesurae So.. if something could make all of the organic body senses into an electronic readout like you're used to dealing wvith, that might help? WVhile still keeping you awvay from depersonalizing yourself, like they're afraid of? palteringcecutiency The... distance, too. Filters, I suppose? I... do not /need/ this data, I know I'm in a fleshbag, I know I am using its muscles, I /made that decision/. But it won't shut up and stop being so /wrong/, and I can't edit filters like this, and I can't /escape/ to anywhere and I just- It's /maddening/. caepaecaesurae The control to be able to adjust wvhich information you are receivwing? caepaecaesurae Sparks' afterlife ovwerlaps heavwily wvith the realm of dreams.  You may consider asking if he can wvake you up, and allowv you the chance to escape wvhen asleep, if that is a middleground that wvould help. You cannot sleep all the time, but you must sleep often enough that perhaps it could be of use palteringcecutiency ...when I sleep, I dream of )(er. I use a 'coon, unless I am with... trusted trolls. caepaecaesurae WVhen I slept, I dreamt of Arlequin's men. ..until Sparks movwed my dreamer to a stabilized castle wvhere nightmares do not dwvell. palteringcecutiency ...then, it is... successful, at that, at least. That's... good, for you as well. ...the, mutability of the bubbles was... favorable, letting things shift as I needed them or didn't, but... with life everything is... permanent, choices must be made and lived with. But with mutability comes... )(er. Do... you think, something... between, is even possible? caepaecaesurae I'm sure he'd givwe you your owvn stabilized realm outside the castle if you wvished privwacy and distance along wvith your peace.  As wvell, I'm sure you could wvork out some kind of wvay to allowv...disrete, controlled episodes of mutability. caepaecaesurae Evwen an on-off swvitch may do it. palteringcecutiency I. Still have to ask. I don't... know, if anyone will... object. It seems... too close, to what they do not like. caepaecaesurae At the vwery least, ask about the dream castle.  You could freely exit it wvhenevwer you wvished, if you sought mutability. And return, if you maintained control. caepaecaesurae I also suspect he wvould not mind seeking you out during nightmare to cause harm to your enemies. I believwe he's mentioned doing that for another, once or twvice. Dream vwisions may havwe no substance, but they can still be harmed by an outsider wvho is not under their spell. palteringcecutiency He'd. He'd 5ee. He'd kn0w. caepaecaesurae ... Sorry chief. Your call.  I think he'd be glad to help you any wvay you let him do so, though. palteringcecutiency 5orry. 5. S. Sorry. I. I just. He doesn't need that, in his head. And you're. Right, he does want to help, enough to say yes when. He shouldn't. caepaecaesurae I think he'd be fine, but I'm a selfish old man wvho trusts him to knowv his limits. Maybe you're right. palteringcecutiency I once trusted that, but then he passed out and dropped from the sky and I found myself less inclined to. caepaecaesurae Granted he can be a bit exciteable. Tempted to make a contextless callout post telling him to take care of himself. palteringcecutiency Do it, the dash is on the topic anyway. caepaecaesurae WVhat a coincidence.

[asktheseacowvboys]

if this was the ultimate crodown of ultimate destiny, i bet you'd win. and then bring them all back as zomtrolls and wouldn't that be funny? ha ha! Punny.

I mean yeah of course

Obvwiously id vwin im like fuckin powverful as shit

8ut id feel bad about it cuz some a them are like my best buds

An for the record, vwhen i bring someone back to life it aint like that. They aint zombies. Its like havwin the last fewv minutes (or other amount of time depending on howv long they vwere dying) just revwound on the clock.

Orph aint a zombie an ivwe brought him back like 10 times.

[asktheseacowvboys]

Yeah boxman yknowv bigass black carapacian that likes cookin n punchin shit! Hes on here at @foucoeurs

Yeah i dont mind most the time! Gets kinda exhaustin after a vwhile but vwhat i do n howv much of it n VWHEN is pretty inconsistent. Had a long stretch a nothin for a vwhile but lately shes been handin me lists like candy on hallowveen pfft.

Yea yea stitch vwas tellin me bout some! Vwith the color scheme n the time stuff kinda makes me think theres some kinda connection ta my boss but iunno man if shes got covworkers ivwe nevwer met em

Oh???? I use souls in magic too! Although usually theyre no longer attached to the person but uh. So ya can like??? 8ind people ta stuff? N use it ta do things to em???? Vwhat the heck thats cool as FUCK

asktheseacowvboys​:

8ut see numbers are hard as FUCK so clearly that makes ya smart by DEFAULT!! Plus practical smarts on top bro? 8ig brain moment

Eh vwell its a job haha it does vwhat its meant a do

Yea yea i noticed like yall got powvers n shit right? 8ut thats different. N boxman showved me some a the stuff the carapacians do n THATS different too! Makes me vwanna stick my fingers in more pies yknowv? Hehehehe

Vwell the vwhole strength thing is all me but the magic thing is like uhhh made a deal? I can use magic vwery competently nowv n in exchange i do her dirty vwork zz:P

Perks include time travwelin junk n bein conditionally unkillable

Vwhat kinda funky powver stuff you got? I talked ta stitch about some stuff n i knowv itchy is like kermit th hedgefrog but i aint met too many a you guys yet?

Boxman.

Ah.  Still sounds like a pretty good deal, assumin’ y’don’t mind whatever dirty work she’s got ya up to.  Some of ours have time junk at their fingertips, too.

Kermit th’ Hedgefrog is apt.  I’m…uh.  Hm.  Not sure where t’start.

Yer essence, or fate or soul or whatever y’wanna call it.  It’s malleable.  I c’n take some an’ use it t’ make things.  Coins, usually.  An’ flippin’ those coins has an effect on whoever’s likeness is on either side, dependin’ on the result of the flip an’ the person doin’ the flippin’.