#i loved jekyll and hyde as a kid but i was also disappointed how the performance of confrontation was done on stage compared to the demo ver

[bmpmp3]

for my followers sake ive been trying to restrain the fact that i became just embarassingly fixated on the death note musical in the past week but i dont know how much longer i can hold it back so here’s a tiny doodle of Light from memory 

stanky...............

[ohnothewheatisonfire]

ok J&H Fandom, let’s talk:

“Popular” blog @thatsmyhyde​ is a prominent creator in the J&H Fandom. But here’s where the problem shows up: 

the content they make is concerning at least, and full of red flags at worst. 

DISCLAIMER: This is all information I have gathered through their tumblr blog - I am not aware of what other things they may be posting on other social medias or their written work.  ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Please be polite, I am a minor, and am just creating this post to ward off / warn other minors from following this person. If you are an adult interacting with this post and blog, be mindful of your actions and be responsible

Trigger warnings for: discussions of homophobia, discussions of p//phillia, fat-shaming, fat-phobia (?), etc. Just be on general edge for this post, we’re talking about a lot of weird stuff

I will be linking their posts as I am not going to take screenshots of their art.

This is not a comprehensive list of all the things they’ve done - these are the ones I could think of and was able to adress. If you have anything additional you want to add to this post (such as concerning things they may do on other social media), feel free to reblog and add on the things you need to say, just please don’t be dumb. 

Let’s start with the premise: Henry Jekyll creates an alter ego, Edward Hyde. They begin a relationship - an emotional and physical one. Their AU features Jekyde (A popular ship in the fandom, the name stands for Jekyll x Hyde), people have various views on this ship. 

So far so fine, right? Here are the problems:

1. Their Henry Jekyll is an awful person. Now, let’s start by saying that of course you can have bad people in your works, those are, after-all: villains. The problem is,Henry Jekyll is a harmful walking gay sterotype, and an outlet for Biscuit’s obvious fat fetish. But their relationship isn’t just toxic it’s romanticised in how toxic it is.

a. The harmful stereotype - Their Henry Jekyll has a “thing” for younger men, even though he is in his middle-ages, and Hyde looks like a young child. (Age gap relationships are their own thing - they come with their own burdens, and this is not the post to discuss them. This topic will lead into the Edward  Hyde section of this post.) But, it was a known homophobic scare-mongering tactic of straight parents to accuse everyone who is gay that they are ‘out to prey on your youths’. This is a stereotype that stigmatized the LGBT community, and still harmfully affects them to this day. 

b. The fat fetish: Jekyll is frequently seen with cake (as seen here, here, and here)  or being self-loathing, to the point of suicide. (click the link here to acess a list of suicide and other crisis hotlines! you matter to me!). Now, the self-loathing could be a symptom of depression or other mental illness, so I am not going to talk about it, as a person with mental illnesses.  But the self-loathing in addition to him being fat is not good. Media is drowning in the “self-loathing fat person” and as someone who isn’t thin i’m tired of seeing this. 

- The fetish aspect comes in him constantly being referred to “Chonky”, a term usually used for overweight/obese cats and being drawn obsessed with cake. It fetishises his weight and dehumanises him into something people call their animals. Also, here’s more of Jekyll eating food and being embarassed by it, though this time because it’s seen as “servant’s food”. 

- Biscuit admits to liking them “Big and chunky” in posts like this. 

[Photo id: A string of texts that says: tantok, frankenstein, twink lore, dorian slipped through the cracks and got himself sketched by yours truly the other day because he brought lord henry along, he and the slime didn’t have to fight to the death because they’ve both got their own chonky old toxic henries to focus on, but this blog still ain’t big enough for the two of ‘em. end id]

- They also talk about how they ‘prefer’ to draw fat (chonky) people. Image attatched above. the thing that should be noticed is that they say ‘chonky old toxic henries’ . they, once again, are making fat people a fetish. 

[Photo id: Anonymous asks: are you gonna make a victor design tho biscuit responds: Oh, man, anon, I hate to disappoint but.....probably not. Aside from my non-humanoids and hellspwans (slime gremlins, corpse creatures, and etcetera), I’m extremely uninterested in drawing young thin men. I really need middle-aged chonk to hold my attention. If poor Victor Frankenstein had only been 40-something and round when he made his great creation, then he’d definitely get a design from yours truly. As it is though, he’s not holding my attention enough to want to. end id] 

Biscuit once again talks about how he doesn’t want to draw ‘thin men’, because he is only interested in older ‘round’ people. He, is, once again, bringing to light his fetish for fat people. 

2. Edward Hyde is basically a child - Edward Hyde is drawn in boy’s school clothes, is taken in and raised like a child after Jekyll’s death, and is constantly cooed over by the creator, even earning a nickname of ‘slime’ from them. In addition, he also has ‘family photos’ taken with Utterson, has his toenails kept, is the height of a child, and teeths. This, paired with the fact that he is in a toxic, abusive, relationship with a man in his middle ages is concerning and should not be romanticised. 

[Photo id: the text reads: In his first year of existence, Hyde lost teeth and regrew them in a mildly similar fashion to a kid losing baby teeth - except it wasn’t all of his teeth (Just the canines and some random molars) and they weren’t replaced with a larger set, just with teeth exactly the same as the ones that had been lost. No one knows what was up with this. the teeth are still in Jekyll’s study in a little jar. end id]

a. Hyde is treated like a child after Jekyll’s death. Hyde teething is concerning because that’s something infants do. He also clings to utterson like a child. The idea that he gets taken in by Utterson, whisked away to an estate out in the country, despite both of them having romantic feelings for Jekyll is. how do I put this: WEIRD. (seriously, imagine your father/father-figure dating ur significant other / having a crush on them before you two got together and after). 

b. Hyde dresses like a child, whilst being sexually active and wearing lingerie. Now, on their own, these traits aren’t a problem - but together? They are very much a problem.  

- Hyde dressing as a child is concerning because he is also treated like a child at certain points in their “lore”. After Jekyll’s death, Hyde becomes a singular entity, and is taken away by Utterson. To care for, like a child. This post sums it up well: he wears both children’s clothes and lingerie. 

- Hyde has a very strange appearance - if you compare it to his early design (which was less cartoony and looked more like a man in his twenties), Hyde’s current design is concerning. Why does he have the height of a child? Why does he have eyes that take up a grand part of his face? Now, one could argue that ‘he is not human’ - but if he is treated like a human, whilst wearing children’s/youthful clothes, teeths, and his general enchanment with the world - he appears as human (and looks eerily similar to a child), which is why him being sexually active, wearing lingerie, and being friendly with prostitutes (one that gave him underwear and other articles of clothing)  is concerning. 

- That said, Utterson is directly talked about being ‘adopted into gremlin fatherhood’ (paraphrasing). 

[Photo id: the text reads: 59. Jekyll is irresitibly attracted to everything about Hyde, but if he could somehow be forced to list hte most attractive physical attributes of Edward Hyde in his opinion, aside from Hyde’s youthful appearance in general it would be his eyes, his overbite (Jekyll perceived the way Hyde’s-) the screenshot cuts of the rest of the paragraph. end id] 

- Jekyll has a ‘thing’ for younger men. This is to the point that the most attractive part about Hyde is that he is young. (or looks like it), Hyde looking very young is concerning because that would make their verison of Doctor Jekyll a p*dophille . This is something the artist has either not recognized, realised, or simply does not acknowledge. 

3. The toxic relationship (and how it’s romanticised) - The relationship in this ‘AU’ is: love comes first, toxic nature comes second. If you scroll through the blog you may see some reference of ‘Henry Jekyll is such a toxic person teehee’ and a lot of them kissing, being together, smiling, or enjoying life. Now, obviously, an artist - if they do not want to - should not draw characters being toxic to each other. But it is concerning when the above points come into a factor, that the toxic nature of their relationship comes second to the highs of their relationship, at least on their blog. 

Here is one of the only examples I’ve seen of Biscuit talk about the relationship in a detailed negative light. 

4. The fandom - Whilst Biscuit says it’s ok for minors to interact with his blog (in that blog he says that he tags nsfw - which is true.) he does not regularly mention that his jekyde is toxic - not in a concerete way. He romanticises it (despite acknowledging it’s flaws), and the only way it may or may not be (i would not know) acknowledged is his fic: which is mature and not meant for minors. He does not tag his posts with regular triggers for things like: alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, or abuse (any variants). They’re not even in his blog’s description! If Biscuit had acknowledged it in his blog, something along the lines of: “Hey! This blog has <content warnings> be warned when interacting! But no, he does not. 

- A lot of the people who draw things, or generally interact with Biscuit are minors. Being exposed to such a thing may be harmful to my peers, and I am worried. To minors who are fans of Biscuit: if you’ve made it this far, thank you, I know you’re mature and responsible, but being exposed to content creators like Biscuit could lead you down a dangerous path of having this kind of thing normalised to you. Be careful with the content you consume, please! And thank you for making it this far, I’m sure you’re a lovely person :)!

Thank you for taking the time to read this! Stay safe, tell the people you love that you love them. 

[quilna]

A very long time ago I suggested a MBaV au then later took it down because I didn’t think that many people watched the show so not many people probably knew what I was talking about. I’ve decided to bring it back.

I had art to go with this (Which I might have posted earlier so my apologies if this is the second time you’ve seen this au) but people didn’t seem particuarly fond of it and I was worried that the art would be offputting from the actual concept.

Anyway, MBaV stands for My Babysitter’s a Vampire and it was this cheesy supernatural show I watched when I was a kid. This au has a few differences from the show, either because the time frame doesn’t fit (MBaV is set in the modern day, TGS is Victorian London so some things don’t match up), because I don’t properly remember the episode (It’s been a long time, not everything will match up. There are some episodes that I didn’t see at all.), or just because the change seemed better fitting for the au.

Dr Jekyll is a powerful spellcaster who, after a mishap with a spell years ago, accidentally split himself into two. While Jekyll is known for being one of the older and more skilled spellcasters in London, Edward has a bad habit of messing up spells, either by not reading through the consequences before using them or reading them backwards. He’s technically still powerful but it’s difficult for people to tell when so many of his spells go sideways.

The pair can hide memories from each other and both use it to screw with the other.

Jekyll runs a society for the supernatural, trying to keep the supernatural side of London from messing around with the normal side too much. However, the society has a cover of being a society for the sciences so it attracts a mixture of regular humans and the supernatural meaning that:

A. The supernatural side of the society has to be hidden from some of the society’s members

B. They’re not actually sure how many are human and how many are supernatural, leading to some more malicious monsters slipping in.

--

Lanyon, meanwhile, is a seer. By touching people or certain objects he can receive visions of the future or the past but they’re not always clear.

Throughout his life, these abilities have allowed him to learn a lot of things he didn’t want to know about - he always knew when other people were just trying to use him, he always knew when something bad was going to happen to someone, and it left him rather cynical and detatched. He does his best to avoid contact with people to avoid getting these visions.

However, he starts to get particularly bad visions from Dr Jekyll, hinting that Edward Hyde will eventually start being a danger to Jekyll. As a result, he’s doing his best to figure out what the deal with Edward is before it’s too late or, at least, get rid of Edward before things can come to pass.

Rachel and Henry don’t seem to take him seriously about Edward (Rachel doesn’t want to believe that Edward could hurt Jekyll and, therefore, reasons that Lanyon’s visions aren’t telling him everything and Jekyll, obviously, already knows everything and wants Lanyon to stay out of it before he learns the truth.)

--

Rachel is a fledgling vampire, bitten and turned by Moreau, the leader of a vampiric cult. She hasn’t drunk human blood yet which means she’s weaker than most vampires, hoping that, if she remains a fledgling (continues to not drink from people) she might one day be cured.

Jekyll helps make a blood substitute for her so she never has to drink from a human.

The Elephants are an all female all vampire group so Lucy and Elsie are very supportive of Rachel’s vampirism and often give her advice on the matter. (Although they don’t really get her aversion from drinking human blood.) Lucy is a very old and powerful vampire.

Eli was killed by Moreau when he ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

--

Frankenstein is a necromancer who came to London looking for the  powerful spellcaster she had heard so much about, wanting his help to cure vampirism entirely. However, the moment she arrived she ended  up in an altercation with Moreau, leaving her injured. To her annoyance,  she had to pick up the cover of being a scientist looking for a cure  for her son’s terrible condition (The son being Creature.) and was taken in by the society while  she searches for the spellcaster in her spare time. To her extra  annoyance, every time she slips away and starts trying to track the  spellcaster, it always somehow seems to lead her directly into the path  of “the naive human” Dr Jekyll leading to her being put back to bed every time.

In all fairness, Jekyll has perfected the ignorant human act.

Things become trickier however when her spell finally leads her to Edward Hyde instead, leading her to believe that he’s the spellcaster. Edward doesn’t correct her or even let Jekyll know about this, wanting to prove himself as powerful as Jekyll.

Eventually, he starts searching for a powerful magical artifact which could help them. A magical artifact with absolutely no corrupting properties at all. Ever. It’s perfectly safe and will not at all ever send Hyde, already the personification of evil, towards trying to eliminate his good half and take over London. Of course not.

Jekyll knows that something bad is afoot but, with Hyde blocking his memories from him, he doesn’t know exactly what. Neither does Frankenstein realize her mistake until it’s too late.

---

The lodgers:

Helsby is a mermaid. When he’s touched by water, he turns into his mermaid form and his singing voice can send everyone around him into a rage. After he causes a lot of chaos around the society, Lanyon, Rachel, and Hyde set out to try to defeat him in a music contest. If he loses, he has to stop. This plan goes sideways when Hyde marches in with a trumpet cursed to make the most horrible noise possible and basically forces Helsby into submission instead. And destroys Lanyon and Rachel’s eardrums in the process.

Jasper is a werewolf as always. He came directly to the society, looking for help with his condition, fearing the danger of his werewolf half. Werewolves and vampires have a natural rivalry but Rachel just decided that the taboo of it was just more romantic and fell for him. When the full moon came, though, everyone found out that Jasper just turns into a harmless dog. Rachel was a little disappointed but still loved him anyway.

Cantilupe is an ancient god who slipped in with the intent of collecting followers in the society to bring about the apocalypse, pretending to be a zoologist. However, she then met Lavender, a newer human zoologist who viewed her as her senior and constantly looked for Cantilupe’s help with her work. Cantilupe decided she was fond of this tiny human and stopped trying to end the world. Lavender still isn’t aware that her senior is a literal god.

Maijabi is a spirit that can inhabit mirrors. His cursed mirror was accidentally taken in by the society where he began to manipulate people who looked into his mirror into harming people around them to get revenge for his death after dying in a prank gone wrong. As it turned out, though, Lanyon could see him for what he was thanks to his powers. After stopping him, Jekyll used his magic to make him visible to other people so he can sort of live again. He still can’t touch people without passing through them.

Sinnett is human but, at one point, a sentient tree ends up getting into the society and taking control of all of the automatons, technology, and clockwork in there, including Sinnett’s arm. He helps arm the trio with flamethrowers to fight the tree but they couldn’t get the last bit of tree of out Sinnett’s prosthetic arm. Now he has to deal with an evil tree in his arm which occasionally tries to convince him to destroy the world. He tunes it out.

Tweedy is also human but he’s a “paranormal investigator” who came to the society looking for ghosts. Most of his equipment suspiciously goes off around Rachel (She is undead and all) and everyone has to keep trying to hide the numerous ghosts and zombies in the society.

Bryson is the ghost of a once famous aeronaut looking to regain his lost fame. He tries to force Lanyon as the only person who can see him into helping him with this but Lanyon knows absolutely nothing about aeronautics.

---

Other things:

Once, as a lesson to try to teach Robert, Rachel, and Edward to work together, Henry secretly used a spell to send each one of them into their own pocket dimension based off of each of their fears. Initially it was supposed to have safeguards in place to keep the exercise safe and keep the fears mild.

Hyde was given the fear of being alone (A world completely devoid of people)

Rachel was given a fear of losing herself to her vampirism (A more powerful and evil version of herself)

Robert was given the villain from a play he watched recently which frightened him. (An automaton dentist gone rogue.)

However, either by Hyde messing around with magic to try to free them all or by some malicious outside intervention (Because it would be mean for Jekyll to do this himself but I can’t miss out the angst of a proper worst fear episode.) the safeguards got removed and the worlds started to twist themselves to everyone’s deepest darkest fears.

Hyde ended up chased by his own friends, turning on him after they discovered his secret.

Rachel was chased by the ghost of Eli, blaming her for his death.

Robert got a monstrous version of Hyde from his visions, the version of Hyde he knew was someday destined to kill Jekyll. (Hyde was very flattered when he found out.)

All of them try to hide their fears from the others and the worlds continue feeding off their fear and becoming more monsterous and twisted as time goes on.

They all only just escape.

--

Jekyll and Hyde have been seen in the same place before which doesn’t help anyone figure out that they’re the same person. Thanks to messing around with an old cursed camera from Jekyll’s collection, Hyde accidentally makes an evil clone of himself. Everyone kind of notices that Hyde’s acting a little worse than usual but Jekyll’s the only one who knows that something wrong’s going on here (Because that’s himself just standing there mocking him.) and Jekyll has to try to stop the evil Hyde alone, unable to tell anyone why he knows that isn’t the real Hyde.

--

Jekyll once accidentally hired a carriage haunted by the ghost of a dead vampire and everyone had to work together to stake it because it wouldn’t stop running people over.

They don’t talk about it.

The horses came out fine.

--

Hyde once tried to resurrect an old pet of Lucy’s to attempt to impress her (Pets don’t live awfully long when you’re immortal after all.) but ended up bringing to life every dead animal in the area. Every last one of them turned out violent. After getting rid of most of the animals, they found one little zombie dog that somehow didn’t become violent. Jekyll took it in and named it Zosi.

[bansheeoftheforest]

More Jacob x Henry, this is a threat 🔫 /lh

Ahem <3

Henry is an incredibly good singer and also incredibly good at playing piano and violin, Jacob can do neither for the life of him, but he loves to hang on the piano as Henry plays and sings for him. Henry is quite shy about his singing (it feels quite personal, as much of the songs he knows the lyrics and notes to he learned in Scotland) but he feels really comfortable doing that with Jacob.

Evie is quite sure Jacob developed some sort of Stockholm Syndrome because he really does not try to hide how hot he thinks Henry is in his templar outfit, regardless of the original or dyed one.

It doesn't take long for Jacob to move into Henry's house after they get together, mostly because it starts getting cramped in the train and Evie and Greenie makes him annoyed. Henry's servants are not even batting any eyes (absolutely not because Poole is threatening to hit them with the hilt of his cane if they dare to comment on their master and his... Friend) and Jacob finds it incredibly amusing to freak them out with his weapons, but he is still v kind to them and the servants like him.

The first time Henry saw Jacob without his shirt (most likely while seeing him in the fight clubs) he lost function of his brain for at least five minutes and almost passed out. Jacob loves to take advantage of that.

(Honestly, yeah, sure, Henry had an affair with a man and also a woman but that was at least 15 years ago so he very much would faint at the sight of an ankle)

They are the same height but Jacob has much more stock, which means that he, obviously, is a very good personal pillow for Henry during the few times he actually goes to sleep. Also Henry actually sleeps regularly when he dates Jacob because... Well... Jacob forces him and cuddles too good <3

Henry loves to steal Jacob's clothes. Most of them are quite too big on him but they are comfy and they smell like Jacob and makes him feel safe, Jacob once searched for his favorite shirt for two whole days before he caught Henry curled up with it in his office when going on a surprise visit.

Jacob has a distinct musky whiskey smell, Henry smells like honey and lavender, when they miss each other they steal each other's colognes and sprays it on themselves or their clothes.

Letters. So many letters. Henry loves writing letters to Jacob because he can just pour his feelings out and tell him how much he loves him, all he want to do with him, and Jacob is no poet but he tries and succeeds in absolutely managing to get Henry swept off of his feet with mere words. Sure, Henry is easily swept, but Jacob still loves the affect he has on Henry and Henry loves the feeling of just being high on love.

Jacob loves picking Henry up by the waist and twirl him around, both because it gets Henry to giggle the most adorable giggle and also because he can just stare at him and admire him <3

Dances. A lot of dances. Henry loves to dance and while Jacob is not a perfect dance partner, he still does his best because it makes Henry happy <3

Jacob gifted Henry his first gun-- a beautifully handcrafted one that was both as beautiful and mesmerising as it was efficient, and Henry bought the sleekest and largest canesword for Jacob that money could buy. They both want their lover to stay safe <3

Sometimes Henry will have nightmares about his brothers or him murdering them. Most often he will wake up crying and hyperventilating in the middle of the night and try to leave the room to not wake up Jacob. Jacob wakes up within moments and immediately comforts him. It doesn't matter how often it happens or how much they both need the sleep, Jacob will stay up until sunrise brushing his hand through Henry's hair as he lets him sob the trauma out.

Evie's and Jacob's favorite inside joke is that they both have a soft spot for Henrys. Both dating Fryes, Jekyll and Green become good friends and go out for brunch on saturdays when the twins are out spending some time together or murdering people.

Jacob was the first ever person to find out about Hyde. He accepted it immediately, even if he was... Hesitant, so to speak, scared for his lover's wellbeing but after a thumbs up from Henry, he suddenly found great joy in cornering the blond man and flirt with him until he is a quivering mess.

Brokenshire and Abberline are probably the biggest Jekyll x Jacob shippers. They both did their best to match them together but almost to their disappointment, the two got together before they could try to set them up fully 😔

Have I said this one before? Anyways Jacob gifts Henry a teensy tiny puppy he found because he knows that Henry loves dogs, strays, and puppies. Correctly, Henry was as excited as a kid on a sugar rush.

Henry has to patch Jacob up a lot. He loves to kiss his hands and wrists and knuckles and arms and every single muscle of Jacob's body, not even counting the actual wounds and scars, while he bandages him. Jacob feels like it's the best painkiller there is <3

Jacob loves to kiss Henry and he does so every moment they get. Sometimes he acts like he is french just so he has an excuse to kiss Henry on his cheeks in greeting in public, complete with a fake accent and everything.

They never really argue, if they argue it's because the other were reckless and could have (or did) get hurt or worse, but they love each other too much to let the arguments go further.

Henry rarely sleeps but he falls asleep on Jacob all the time. Cuddling? He sleeps. Doing paperwork together? He sleeps. On a date? He sleeps. In a carriage together? Sleeps. Jacob doesn't mind bc A) Henry trusts him enough to sleep on him, B) holy shit he is actually sleeping, and C) he loves to carry Henry around and tuck him into bed <3

The Lodgers found out about the relationship (or about Jacob at all) when they found Henry pressed against a wall by said assassin. At first they thought Henry was in trouble, then they heard Henry giggling and saw Jacob kiss his nose <3<3<3

Jacob is a surprisingly good cook but rarely has patience for it. Henry has patience but often finds cooking boring or a waste of time because he often feels like he never has enough time as is. To combat that, they often cook together once they have retired and have to learn to take care of themselves.

Jacob is incredibly clingy, Henry craves affection and validation, both of them often refuse to let go of each other.

Jacob almost debated beating Lanyon up when he heard about what he did to Henry during the affair they had together, however, changed that plan to just absolutely spoil Henry rotten with love and affection <3

[cannibalisticskittles]

Fans wanted a V route that's why we got a V route both him and Saeran weren't meant to be dateable in the first place

yeah that’s definitely the impression i got. hell, that’s why i started the saeran fic in the first place; i figured they didn’t plan to ever make a route for him, so i’d make one.

tbh tho i... think that v’s route straight up shouldn’t have been done. when you design a character around the central concept of How Absolutely Shit At Romance He Is, how he obsesses over a particular view of love to the point that he encourages unhealthy, violent behavior and enables massive harm (A CULT) for years, how he happily loses his eyesight for love because he thinks it’s a noble sacrifice, when he defends that love and that person with his dying death (“rika did nothing wrong” is a direct quote) and shows no sign of changing that mindset... you shouldn’t cave and make him a route because fans want it. all of those reasons why he’s Bad To Date are still there! they’re fundamental problems!

people who really wanted a v route.... well, not all of them, i know, but from the way so. so so many v stans talk about it. it’s like they looked at v and rika and thought “well, this utter shitshow only happened because rika was a crazy bitch. it’s all her fault. v was just her victim, an innocent martyr who did nothing wrong, or if he did something wrong, it’s only because she forced his hand. if she wasn’t in the equation, everything would have been fine. i bet if /I/ dated him, it would all work out great! he definitely would form a healthy relationship with ME!’ (never mind the fact that years before the story started, he not only knew about but had contacts in an incredibly dangerous and influential spy agency, and he shoved an abused 11-year-old into their arms, forcing him to cut ties with his brother and making him live in even more danger than he’d already been in. that’s totally logical behavior, right? that’s not intentionally endangering a child in the most unnecessary and bafflingly dramatic way possible, right? there’s no way that’s going to still be a problem when rika’s out of the picture, right? she had nothing to do with that batshit decision but it’s still totally her fault somehow, v DEFINITELY won’t do anything like that again!)

and, like, i’ve never been sure how aware of v’s problems the writer(s) for v’s route are, but it’s still THERE in his route. it hangs over everything. it’s almost funny; v’s route seems to me to seesaw between ‘yeah, this guy is totally dateable! there’s no problems at all, once we just... sweep them under a rug and never address them! pfft, his actions are toooootally heroic! it’s justifiable to let the kid he was supposed to protect die in a fiery blast because he’s been too useless to act for years, right?? yeah! let’s just not think about the implications! it’s fine!’ and in other places it comes off more like ‘is this what you want?? huh?? you want to date the sadsack obsessed with his girlfriend to the point that he helps a cult thrive and doesn’t stop it from kidnapping or drugging people?? that’s your idea of a good time?? well fine, TAKE IT’

his route feels Weird. and uncomfortable. and i don’t understand fans wanting a route for him but — while i think v fans OUGHT to have picked up on his penchant for nonsensical, harmful behavior, yknow, maybe they thought cheritz would... actually deal with these issues fully instead of vaguely acknowledging some faults and never resolving them? so — i definitely don’t understand cheritz going ahead and writing a route for him when he’s... him. because that weirdness and that discomfort and all the problems in his route stem from the fact that V Is A Miserable Little Man Who Fixates On Love To A Frightening Degree And Who Is Willing To Enable And Sometimes Personally Do Heinous Things. as a writer sometimes you’ve gotta say “sorry to disappoint, but no. have a nice day!”

it’s something that was a bit of a relief in saeran’s after end. the narrative very much embraces how shit v’s current AND past behavior has been. This Man Is Not Someone Who Forms Healthy Relationships, it says. all the stuff with the RFA mourning who they THOUGHT v (and rika) were — especially the scenes focused on jumin — make it clear that even his platonic relationships have huge problems. they’re based on massive lies! and he’s willing to betray their trust and throw them away for the sake of his Romanticized Love! it still doesn’t make up my mind about what the writer(s) behind v’s route thought about him bc damn, there was Too Much handwaving going on, but hey! circling back to how they presented his behavior in the main story/secret end! that’s awesome!

(and to contrast with v a bit, saeran is... traumatized and has shitty coping mechanisms and is willing to go extremely far for his cult and has years of brainwashing to undo, BUT. as a kid initially coerced into this situation, and then as a brainwashed adult who fully bought into the lies he was told and thought everything he/the cult did was to help people in desperate need, yes, he has made shit decisions, but it’s nowhere near the level of things that v or rika have done. he didn’t have the agency to make informed decisions! he was a kid! he was kidnapped! unlike them, he had no basis of comparison to say “hmm. maybe this is fucked up.” v DID have that, and he has no goddamn excuse for allowing saeran to be kidnapped, or drugged, or mint eye to thrive and do that to dozens if not hundreds of other people, For Love. so saeran has potential for a route! he needs therapy and he needs to be out of mint eye and his dad needs to be behind bars or 6 feet under so saeran doesn’t have to live in fear, but. i view him as Capable Of Healthy Relationships Eventually. moreso than v, anyway.

so while saeran’s route is a hot mess and i will Always bring up how shit it is to whip out the ‘wacky mental illness that has no basis in reality and is written just to maximize drama, never mind that it’s hugely insulting to those who actually deal with what they’re flanderizing AND that it contradicts all his characterization previously [unless they’re saying that saeran in the main routes/secret end ALWAYS went through that ~merging of split personalities~ before we see him on screen, bc his characterizations had already been a good mix of both personas]’ idea, the INTENT of the route seems more grounded than v’s; it’s about 50% ‘you wanted edgy, so we’ll give you edgy’ and 50% ‘well, this is as good a place as any to expand a little bit on the character growth alluded to in the secret end and go over a few more aspects of how he’s going to have to come to terms with how much of what he believed was a lie and reconcile with his brother.’ it’s also a weird route, and it clashes against some things that were previously established, but from what i remember, the route was at least internally consistent.

...even so, they should not have done saeran’s route the way they did. if they couldn’t come up with any ideas for a route that didn’t involve ‘jekyll and hyde suddenly!’ they just shouldn’t have done a route for him, either.)

[enigmasalad]

Weddings Are Great And All But  My Mom Wants You Over For Dinner Tonight

It has been a boring day so far. Deceit was currently typing away on his fifth laptop (his personal one cause the other four are for his “business”). Remus had gotten a last-minute contract from a rather entitled older man who wanted one of his nephews or something killed. So here Deceit was, alone, bored and totally enjoying his day off. And even though he had just planned a “vacation” for them, he couldn’t get rid of the sappy loneliness in his chest. He groaned and shut his laptop because he needed a nap.

He went to their bedroom, a relaxed form of exhaustion seeping into his limbs once he entered the room. He turned his head to where Jekyll and Hyde were. The twin-headed snake was taking a nap after a rather indulgent lunch. Deceit smiled softly at the sweet creature before falling back onto the bed with his arms spread out. As he shut his eyes, he let his mind become passive, letting each thought come and go. With each thought he slowly drifted to that state between consciousness and sleep.

He didn’t know how long he was in this state, but he did know that he was now more on the conscious side. A soft, fond smile graced his lips before he even thought about it. “Hello Remus. How was the hunt today?” he asked.

 Just as he thought, an uneven pitched giggle revealed that the crazed man was indeed there. Deceit opened his eyes to meet wide green eyes that were filled with a mischievous joy, the kind of joy a child who stole a toy from a person they didn’t like had. “Boo! I thought I could surprise you this time!” Remus laughed.

“Were you about to jump on me or something?” Deceit asked, raising a brow.

“Yep! You looked so peaceful I thought it would be funny to startle you!”

 Remus crawled into bed, still in his lightly bloodied clothes and curled up by Deceit’s side. Deceit moved one of his gloved hands to Remus’s hair and gently scratched the man’s head. Remus let out a low, relaxed noise and snuggled closer.

 “Turns out the whole family was in on the kill. They gave me a large tip for not getting the floors bloody!”

 Remus paused before laughing.

 “Heh! Large tip! Heh heh!”

 Deceit rolled his eyes but smiled none the less at the crude joke. He gave a kiss to Remus’s head. Remus perked up and went to go kiss Deceit. Deceit moved his free had to Remus’s mouth to block the kiss.

 “Did you dispose of the body?” Deceit asked.

 Remus huffed and pouted.

 “I did!” “Remus.”

 Remus sighed and slumped a little.

 “I did not eat the body this time.”

 Silence.

 “Or anything else from the crime scene.”

“Good boy.” Deceit softly praised.

 Remus grinned as Deceit removed his hand and kissed him. Remus immediately and eagerly kissed back. And as usual Remus had to make the kiss filthy the second his lips met Deceit’s. They kissed for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. When they split Deceit decided to tell Remus the news.

 “I arranged our little vacation.” Remus grinned and wiggled excitedly, moving Dee with him a little.

 “Oh fun! Oh, we can use the blood money to get some things for the trip! Like toys! You know I love take two Ds at once!”

“Damn it Remus.”

——-

 “Roman get out of the kitchen.” “What? I just wanted to see what you’re doing! It smells good in here!” “Roman get out of the fucking kitchen I swear to go-don’t touch that!”

“Ow!”

 Roman huffed and held the hand Virgil whacked with a wooden spoon. Virgil glared at him and pointed the spoon at him. “Fine, fine! I’ll just go to Patton’s side of the kitchen!” Roman pouted and quickly moved over to where Patton was mixing batter.

 Patton giggled as Roman hugged him from behind and peppered his neck and cheek in quick kisses. Roman smiled and looked at where Virgil was making fresh pasta dough.

 “You could have this too, but you whacked me with a spoon! Also why are you making fresh pasta when we bought the quick pasta?” Roman had to ask.

 Virgil looked at Roman with a deadpan look, stopping the pasta dough making process.

 “I’m half Italian Roman. You fucking know this.” He said

“Well sorry for asking. Just figured with the time constraint you put on

 Patton laughed again, interrupting

 “Your mom makes the best pasta so I’m glad we’re having her recipe!” he praised.

 Roman grinned as Virgil blushed and ducked his head down. The argumentative tension instantly vanished. Patton had that kind of amazing power.

 “Anyways dear heart, what are you making?” Roman asked Patton, swaying them both gently.

“I asked Imaj what we should have for dessert this time and he asked if we could have brownies tonight so Im making brownies!” Patton replied before tasting the batter.

“Oh fuck yeah.” Virgil said while smiling a little.

 The Petrovs love pasta and brownies more than life itself.

 Patton and Roman chatted, Virgil putting his input every now and then. They talked about how Ginerva and Rosita were at the store, wondering what they were getting there.  Patton brought up how excited his boss, Adam, accepted to come as Patton’s father to the wedding. Adam was Patton’s boss, but the southern man from the Lone Star State was the closest thing to an actual father Patton had. Plus, he paid for Patton’s top surgery out of his own pocket without asking for anything back, so the definitely liked him.

Plus he threatened to shoot them if they ever hurt Patton so..

 “Is there anything I can help with?” Roman asked, mainly because he was bored

“No.” “Not really but I’ll let you know!”

 Roman placed a kiss on Patton’s cheek before rushing to Virgil and kissing his cheek. He ran out of the kitchen with a laugh as he heard Virgil sputter and went into the living room where Logan was sitting on the couch talking to Missy while Imaj sat near the corner with his ukulele and sheet music.

 “-used the blood eagle torture method to sacrifice to Odin and also get rid of people who have no honor in their lives.” Missy was rambling, probably about Vikings.

“You are very knowledgeable about Vikings in..many aspects Missy.” Logan attempted to praise.

 It was a little awkward on how it came out but it made the irritable girl grin widely with pride. She pushed her Viking helmet up so it wouldn’t slide over her eyes.

 “Well duh.” Is all Missy had to say.

“Hello Tiny! Teaching Logan about Vikings again?” Roman greeted.

 Just like that, her smile turned back to her usual irritated frowny face.

 “Don’t call me tiny! Im going to rule the freakin world one day! Im not small!” She said, which only made Roman laugh fondly.

 He remembered when he had given Missy the nickname. She leapt off the couch and headbutted him in the gut so hard he curled up on the ground. Good..weird...good times.

 “And how are you right now Imaj? Still practicing?” Roman asked.

 Imaj startled upon hearing his name but he looked at Roman with a soft smile.

 “Mhm. I think I got it this time.” He answered quietly.

“Good! Will you be playing it for us sometime soon?”

Just like that, the young teen squeaked with embarrassment and pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head.

 “Nooooo..” he quietly whined.

“Alright, alright don’t disappear on me. I’ll leave you alone.”

 Roman sat down next to Logan and wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders, pulling the nerd closer.

 “And how are you my pocket protector?” Roman asked. “I am well as I can be.” Logan replied.

 Ah, Logan was nervous cause this was his first actual family dinner (and the first family dinner they’ve had since all four of them got together). It’s taken him a while to work up to this moment, but they were so proud of him.

Still didn’t mean Logan wasn’t nervous about it.

 “You’ll be fine mi amor. You know mama and Mrs. Ginerva love you.” Roman reassured.

“I know this, they’ve made it very apparent.” Logan said with a faint hint of a smile.

 Roman smiled and leaned in to give Logan a kiss. Logan huffed a laugh and met Roman the rest of the way.

 “VIRGIL YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE BEING GROSS.”

 The two men were startled by Missy’s loud shouting.

 “I can’t help you right now! Cooking food!” Virgil called back.

“BUT ITS GROSS.” “You’re gross!” “NO YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE GROSS.”

 Patton came in, apron gone, and hands washed which meant the brownies were probably in the oven.

 “What’s this about being gross kiddo?” he asked. “They’re kissing!” Missy huffed.

“Kissing!” Patton faked a gasp.

 Missy nodded and crossed her arms grumpily. Roman watched as Patton came over and put his hands on his hips and gave a disappointed look.

 “Boys Im shocked at your behavior. How dare you be kissing-“ Patton then grinned widely. “Without me!” With that Roman’s arms were full of his bubby, kind boyfriend and Logan’s lips were being kissed by said boyfriend. Roman laughed as Missy let out a shriek and stomped to the kitchen. Soon Patton was kissing all over his face to, each kiss slightly ticklish and with an audible “mwah!” sound. They could hear Virgil chuckle from the kitchen. Logan was smiling softly, more relaxed with the ones he cares about near. Patton got up and sat next to the other side of Logan and held his hand tightly.

 “I’m happy we’re doing this. I’ve had family dinners before but..they lacked warmth.” Patton admitted.

“That’s one thing our family doesn’t lack is warmth.” Roman said with a grin. “Indeed. You and Virgil have…exceptional mothers.” Logan agreed.

 Roman grinned and wrapped around Logan’s shoulders.

 “I wasn’t just meaning them my iridescent nebula. You both are part of this family too now.”

“Awwww Roman!!!” Patton squealed.

 The sound of the front door opening interrupted anything else that could have been said.

 “Booooooys! Missy! We’re hoooome!” Roman’s mother, Rosita sing-songed

“Hi Miss Rosita! Hi Miss Ginerva!” Patton called back.

 Rosita giggled and came into the living room.

 “Dawww I hope you weren’t mentally scarring poor little Imaj over there.” She said.

 Oh shit Imaj has just been sitting there quietly. The thing about that kid besides having almost crippling anxiety is he could disappear from people’s view despite being there.

 “Don’t worry Rosita. I don’t mind.” Imaj softly said with a smile. “This is why you’re my favorite.” Roman said.

 Immediately there was a loud, high pitched angry “WHAT?” from the kitchen.

 Rosita grinned and bent down to kiss Patton’s cheeks, the usual greeting she gives loved ones. Patton giggled and held onto her arms as she went “Mwah!” with the two kisses. She then bent down and did the same to Logan. His face went red as Roman’s varsity jacket, but he sat still and allowed her to do so, because he honestly didn’t hate it. He’s never had any form of parental love and he once admitted he liked the affection the mothers gave him.

 “I’m so glad you both are here today. Our first dinner as a whole family!” Rosita cheerily said.

 Roman grinned at his loves. They looked happy. Things were normal. This family was normal.

 “Well hello my dears. Patton, thank you for making dessert.” Virgil’s mother, Ginerva said as she too entered the living room, holding two rather thick books in her hands.

“It’s no problem! I love baking! Plus, a meal isn’t complete without a sweet!” Patton said.

 Ginerva smiled. Then she held up the book with a mischievous glint in her eye.

 “Would you like to see some baby pictures after dinner?” she asked.

“Oh my gosh YES!” Patton squealed.

“Absolutely.” Logan agreed, his own grin on his face.

 Roman gulped.

 Maybe this was a horrible idea.

———-

 “Going to the sex store~ We’re going to the sex store~” Remus sang, unashamed as they walked through the mall.

 People glared at them as Remus walked next to Deceit, arms swinging back and forth happily. Deceit has once thought maybe he should stop Remus. Here’s the thing though.

 He didn’t give a fuck.

 These poor bastards can deal with Remus happily singing the lewdest things for a small portion of their lives, even if they weren’t going to the sex store.

 A mother gasped, offended and covered her child’s ears.

 “Shame on you!” she shrilled.

 Deceit flipped her off with both of his hands while Remus held his index finger and middle finger in a V formation in front of his mouth, wiggling his tongue in between the fingers with a wicked grin. The mother shrieked in horror.

 Deceit laughed as they left her. However, Remus grabbed his wrist and yanked him back to where Remus was.

 “I want that.” Remus said, pointing into an arcade.

 Inside the arcade was a claw machine with many stuffed animals. On top of the animal pile was a plush green octopus with tiny black eyes.

 “I’m not wasting my money on a rigged game,” Deceit said.

“But Deeeeeeee!” Remus whined.

“that’s why I’m not going to.” Deceit continued, holding up a wallet that totally was his.

 Remus grinned widely and held Deceit’s hand as they planned to spend every pound of an asshole’s money.

————

 Dinner was good, as usual. Virgil was a phenomenal cook and every dish he made was some of the best Roman’s had (he wont tell mama that though). He blushed as they complimented him.

 “This is yummy! What is this called again?” Patton asked.

“Bucatini all’Amatriciana. It’s nothing.” Virgil replied, eyes averted and blush on cheeks.

“I have no idea how to pronounce that but I love it! Logan loves it! Roman does too!”

 Roman will deny he was shoveling the pasta into his mouth messily ‘til the day he dies. It never happened. No way. Thankfully he wasn’t the only messy eater in the family, for Missy was doing the same thing, but messier.

 “You did good. I’m proud of you.” Ginerva praised with a soft smile.

“Whatever.” Virgil said, faint smile on his face at his mother’s praise.

 “So how is the wedding coming along?” Rosita asked with a smile. “We found a venue. It has a garden area that looked rather appealing to us so we’re planning the ceremony will be there. The reception will be inside.” Logan found himself effortlessly saying to Rosita.

  Roman was so proud of him and judging by Virgil and Patton’s smiles they felt the same.

 Imaj smiled, looking a bit excited at all this wedding talk.

 “I like gardens. They’re quiet and yet they’re lively.” He said, his approval and delight making the four men internally sigh in relief.

“Fuck gardens.” Missy grumbled as she stuffed pasta in her mouth.

“Marietta Ursa Petrov, you will not swear at this table. Do it again and you’ll be grounded.” Ginerva warned sternly

 Missy huffed but nodded, shoving more pasta to get everyone’s eyes off her. Ginerva turned to Virgil with stern eyes as well.

 “You too Mister. I know what a mouth you have.” “Yes mom.”

 Roman snickered at the scolding.

 “Oh! Remy got us measured for our wedding outfits a few weeks ago!” Patton cheerily said, changing the topic.

“Im so jealous of you boys. Friends with a famous fashion designer and won’t even get me a dress.” Rosita teased.

 Roman chuckled.

 “Mama he’d freak if he got to make you something. He’s our very own Edna Mode.” He said.

“Good to know! He better not hit me with a rolled-up newspaper or have heavy security in his studio.”

 Yeah dinner was nice, but afterwards was downright embarrassing. You see, Roman was convinced Miss Ginerva forgot about the baby pictures. He was so wrong.

 Logan and Patton sat on both sides of Ginerva as she pointed to pictures. “-on that Halloween I tried to get Virgil to be a cat or a witch or even Wednesday Addams. Whenever I’d propose an idea, he’d pout. He insisted he wanted to be Elton John for that Halloween, specifically Elton in the Im Still Standing video.”

 And for sure there was a picture of a small Virgil standing next to Roman, who was dressed as Hercules from Disney’s Hercules in Elton’s iconic outfit. On the other side of Virgil was a kid dressed as a garbage can who looked almost exactly like Roman.

 As embarrassed as he was, Roman smiled to see the picture of Remus, back when the three of them were the best of friends. Innocent.

 “Oh, and this picture didn’t turn out the way we wanted it. Rosita sneezed so the boys started crying.”

“I’ve said I’m sorry at least once a year since then Ginerva! Get over it!” Patton giggled at the picture of Virgil in the middle of Roman and Remus in a purple onesie crying. Roman was in a red striped overalls outfit sitting up and crying just as hard. Remus was in the same outfit but green and he fell back as he cried. It was adorable.

 “Mom please stop.” Virgil weakly pleaded, hood pulled over his face.

“Hush. They need to see these.” Ginerva said with a laugh.

They avoided pictures of Virgil’s father, who just up and left one day to go back home to Russia without a word. A slightly angry aura surrounded her, but she pushed on.

 “Oh, this is Rosita’s favorite!” Ginerva pointed out.

“Is it the play time one? Oh my goodness I love that one so much! Their chubby cheeks and tiny hands aaah!” Rosita squealed with a grin, getting up from the armchair and hurrying over.

“Mama stoooop.” Roman groaned.

 Logan gave Roman a look that suggested yes, this was indeed blackmail material. Roman flipped him off, only to be whapped lightly from his mother.

Damn you Logan.

 The photo had a “castle” made from cardboard boxes. Inside the castle was a grumpy, if not bored looking Virgil with a plastic princess tiara on his head and a bright pink princess dress over his black sweater. Roman had a plastic crown and pointed a foam sword at Remus, who had devil horns and fairy wings on. That was the closest they could get to a dragon.

 Rosita smiled wide, but it held a small bit of sadness. Roman knows, cause he feels the same way.

 “Ugh this one?” Virgil grumbled, looking over.

“You guys are adorable! I love your princess costume!” Patton cooed. “It was Roman’s.”

Roman laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

 “CUUUUUTE!”

 Rosita was telling the story about that day, but Roman found he wasn’t listening. He just stared at Remus in the photo, his grin wide and his hands bared like claws. His eyes filled with his usual mischief. He always wanted to be the villain or the monster. He remembered a time when Remus built a city out of blocks and toy cars and proceeded to stomp through it and making monster sounds, making Roman laugh at his brother’s silliness as he altered between making noises or pretending to be the shrill voice citizens of the town either being afraid or just saying the weirdest thing like “Dang it I left my pudding at home and now my pants are on fire!”.

Memories came rushing. The times they tried to do a secret handshake but could never remember the steps. The times they slept over at Virgil’s home with red and green matching pajamas and sleeping bags. The times they’d fight over the last homemade churro and forced to split it and apologize. When Remus would come to him when he had horrible nightmares of terrible actions his mind told him to do and he’d cry while hugging Roman tightly, who would cry cause his twin was sad. The gap-toothed grin Remus would give him as they planned to do some mischief and even sometimes dragging Virgil into it. Their red and green “brothership” bracelets they wore until they broke.

 “Im going to the bathroom. Don’t start dessert without me!” Roman suddenly blurted out, leaving the room and rushing quickly up the steps to the upstairs bathroom farthest away from the stairs.

 He locked the door and turned the fan on. He let out a shuddered gasp and pressed his back against the wall.

“You’re fine Roman. You’re fine. You’re with your family, your loves are enjoying themselves. Don’t ruin this for them. You’re fine.”

 Suddenly a sob escaped his lips. He couldn’t stop it. Oh god he was a horrible person. A fraud.

 He was the one that abandoned the other two members of their little musketeer group just for some ill-deserved attention by horrible people.

He was the one who pushed his brother away, insulting him and ignoring him when Remus didn’t understand what he did wrong.

He was the reason Remus was gone, never able to attend his wedding, to see his loves or be part of their growing family and instead out there doing who knows what. Was he even still alive?

His loves had poor choice in men, since they were marrying him.

His mother was a fool to love him because he was a horrible son.

 His fault.

His fault!

 A knock interrupted his thoughts.

 “Hijo I know you’re in there.”

 It was his mom.

 “I’m fi-“

“Open the door Roman.” She said, usual sass or warmth in her voice gone.

 Roman gulped and unlocked the door. He opened it for his mother to come in. She stepped inside and locked the door behind her.

 “Roman, my sweet baby.” She cooed comfortingly and cupped his face, which was wet with tears. “Lo siento mama. Lo siento!” he sobbed, burying his face in her shoulder.’

 She stroked his hair as he sobbed and shushed him softly. He gripped her white blouse and sobbed, feeling like a child again, guilty for doing something wrong.

 “Lo siento. I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for turning those pictures into sad memories!” he cried.

 It felt like a million eyes were glaring at him, a phantom hand was gripping his throat. Harsh voices whispered his guilt over and over and over until he was dizzy.

 “Hijo it’s not your fault.” She whispered.

“But mama it is! I’m the reason he’s gone! I’m the reason family dinners feel so empty! I’m the reason I split our family apart!”

“Roman.”

 Rosita’s stern voice made him push back to look at her. Her green eyes stared into his blue ones, filled with tears, but held a strong determination and a love he could never comprehend.

 “Roman, it’s not your fault. Yes, you’ve made some mistakes, but it’s not your fault.” She said firmly, wiping his tears away with her thumbs.

She sighed shakily and frowned, which was never a good look on his usually happy mother.

 “It’s mine.” “Mama how could y-“ “It’s mine because I didn’t do anything. I didn’t guide you to make better decisions back then, like a mother should.”

 Roman’s lip wobbled, god he was an ugly crier.

 “It’s my fault that I was so focused on fixing Remus because I was scared for him that I didn’t even think about how he felt or wanted. Yes, your brother’s actions were troubling, deeply so, but I did nothing to help him. I did nothing to understand or support him. And now, its my fault for having you endure so much guilt.”

 It was quiet for a bit. Too quiet.

 “You may never stop feeling that guilt, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry you carried this with you for so long. But honey, I’m so proud of you!” Rosita said with a wobbly grin.

“What?” Roman shakily asked.

“I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and making a change. I’m proud of you for making things right with Virgil. I’m proud of you for being such a hard worker, and an amazing dreamer. I’m so proud of you for being a kind and determined man who puts everything into what he does.”

“And honey, I’m proud of you for being a good lover. For being true to yourself even though its scary. I’m proud of you for saving Patton from those god-awful people and supporting Logan during this dinner cause I know he was nervous. I’m proud that you and Virgil and Patton and Logan love each other so much. That despite polyamorous marriage not being legal here, you all said fuck it, cause love conquers everything.”

 Roman whimpered before sobbing again. He may never get over the guilt, but with time he can move on. He was so fortunate to have people who he loves with all his heart, and they love him with theirs. He had the best family and the best friends, even if it was hard to see that at times.

 He had the best mother.

————

“Why don’t we break it?” “Remus we need to remain as anonymous as we can.” “Boo!” “Do you want this octopus or not?”

 It was their last dollar out of like, three hundred. They took a break ‘cause they got hungry, but they came right back. Remus watched, eyes looking between the claw of the machine game and his love’s concentrated and yet frustrated face. He looked like he was about to scream “YOU LOSE! Good DAY SIR!” in a shrill tone.  The claw once again picked up the green octopus. Its floppy tentacles hang limp as the claw started to slowly move over to the little dispenser chute. It suddenly slipped through the claw’s metal arms.

 “NO!” they both almost screamed.

 Ah, but a miracle has happened! One of the octopus’s tentacles was caught on the claw! The claw moved over the chute and dropped the plushie down into it. “YEAH!” Remus cheered, hearing a startled yelp from someone.

—————

Roman came down with his mom, face clean and no longer blotchy. He smiled as he saw his family still sitting downstairs. They turned to him and Patton grinned, looking relieved. Logan and Virgil just stared at him like he had done something stupid.

 “Dude I can’t believe you got your hand stuck in the faucet drain. What were you doing?” Virgil asked.

 Roman turned to Rosita, who grinned. Oh, his mom made up an excuse to check on him, which was nice, but still that’s embarrassing. He came up with a lie to not seem like too much of an idiot.

 “I was washing my hands when one of mama’s earrings she left by the sink went down the drain! I had to rescue it! It was her favorite pair!”

“Well now that you rescued the earring, we were gonna have brownies and watch Frozen 2! Interested?” Patton proposed.

“Definitely!”

 Roman felt so much better. He sat down on the couch with Virgil pressed against his side and Logan’s head on his shoulder. Patton came back with brownies for everyone and gave Roman a peck on the lips as he gave Roman his treat. Rosita and Ginerva argued over how Disney Plus worked, only for Logan to instruct them carefully. As Ginerva got the movie set up, Imaj sat down on the floor with his knees drawn up in between Patton and Virgil, happily nibbling on his brownie. Missy walked over and crawled into Roman’s lap, still looking irritated, but there was a shy plush on her face. He decided not to say anything and just ruffled her hair. She smiled a bit at that. Then, she grinned a mischievous grin that reminded him of when Virgil jump scared them as a vampire last Christmas and..someone he used to know.

 “I hope Olaf dies.” She said.

 Patton and Rosita gasped in horror as Virgil laughed loudly.

———-

 “What are you going to name it?” Deceit asked Remus.

 Remus looked at the cute octopus in his hands.

 “Can Mr. Squishyboo join your tea party Roman?”

“Yeah, but he can’t poison the tea this time! Ms. Fluffybottom got sick last time!” “Fiiine. Then you can’t call him a squid. He’s an octopus!”

 Remus smiled softly down at the octopus’s happy little face.

 “Squishyboo jr.” he said.

“Oh thank god. I thought you were going to name it hentai.” Deceit sighed.

“Oh! His full name is Squishyboo jr Hentai Lokir!” Remus laughed loudly.

“Do not use my last name for your stuffed animal.” Deceit huffed.

 Remus giggled and kissed his love’s forehead. They walked hand in hand out of the arcade, past Pac-man games and children giggling and playing ski-ball. They were near the entrance when a man with a pink Sailor Moon T-shirt stopped them for a moment.

 “Oh my stars I love your Invader Zim crop top sir!” he said, Irish accent prominent.

“Thank you! I love your anime titty lady!” Remus greeted back as they left, Deceit snickering and squeezing his hand with affection.

——-

 The man just blinked for a moment before noticing his phone was ringing. He smiled and answered it.

 “Heeeey babe! How’s your like, family reunion going?” a voice spoke from the other end.

“ ‘ello Remy. Its going fine! Mum, Mama and Dad want you to come next year!”

“Maybe I will go. Like, making wedding stuff is okay, but like, when its for your friends, it sucks. Like, I know im the best bitch in this business, but it has to be so perfect they cry.”

“You are the best Remy. They wouldn’t ask you if you weren’t”

 A laugh on the other end.

 “This is why I love you Emile, my little piece of Picani pie.”

 Emile Picani giggled.

 “So, what are you doing now?”

“I’m about to set a high score on the DDR machine. I saw they had some Miku songs and I wanted to try them!”

“Fuck yeah Miku. Hey, face time me so I can see you like, totally shame on everyone’s scores.”

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Carrie

Author: Stephen King

First published: 1974

Pages: 171

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

A good entertainment to cleanse my palette.... Might check out more King books eventually.

The Price Guide to the Occult

Author: Leslye Walton

First published: 2018

Pages: 288

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

First of all, there should be a MASSIVE trigger warning for self-harm and parental abuse. Second of all, this is one of those books that simply needed more meat and more time. The premise is interesting, the writing beautiful, but all the gore and horror in it would have benefitted greatly from a more complex world. Many key scenes and situations were explained in a hurry and left one unsatisfied. And saying all that, just because a book is centred around a teen girl should not make it a YA. Because this is not.

My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologises

Author: Fredrik Backman

First published: 2013

Pages: 342

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

Look, I completely understand why this book is so praised by many people. I could pinpoint the many places in it which probably resonate with others. But for whatever reason, I was bored for most of it. I had to force myself to continue reading and that is never good. This was just not for me.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Getting Lucky

Author: Mackenzi Lee

First published: 2019

Pages: 128

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

This was just friggin stinking cute. Cannot wait for another book in this series.

Medieval Bodies: Life, Death and Art in the Middle Ages

Author: Jack Hartnell

First published: 2019

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 11 days

Very accessible to anyone, with or without a knowledge of medieval times. I enjoyed the way the book was structured according to various body parts, which then were used as a base for a discussion of other topics relevant to life in the Middle Ages. It is not just medicine, but also sexuality, travelling, fashion and other themes. I would have liked the book to be much more lengthy, to be honest, because I simply found it fascinating. My favourite part? Probably the ode to the vagina and the explanation of the penis trees. I am just a lowly human with a dirty mind after all!

The Raven Boys

Author: Maggie Stiefvater

First published: 2012

Pages: 409

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

I had so much fun reading this! It was like The Secret History by Donna Tart, except less on crack and with magic. What I appreciated were the were very real conflicts dealing with social class, the clear individuality of each character, the fact that going to class and striving for good marks is actually a significant factor for these kids and also a twist I did not see coming. Intrigued. Will definitely read the rest of the series.

The Gloaming

Author: Kirsty Logan

First published: 2018

Pages: 320

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 8 days

First of all, I have to say that the cover and Kirsty´s previous books made me expect something completely else than I was given. So here goes for everybody else: this is NOT a book about mermaids and it is NOT in any way related to The Gracekeepers. It is a story about FAMILY and the weight of OBLIGATION in contrast to personal WANTS as well as searching for the meaning of HOME. Sprinkled with just a tiny magical element. The writing is gorgeous and the atmosphere utterly melancholy. So why didn't I love it more? Partly because of my misplaced expectations, but that I could probably overlook. However, this story is so slow that even halfway through the book I still had a feeling it hasn't started yet. It also took a little while to get used to the format in which the timelines skip here and there and everywhere. In the end, it all does click together and it did leave me thinking about the book though. To steal the very last line: perhaps that's all we can ask.

Every Heart a Doorway

Author: Seanan McGuire

First published: 2016

Pages: 168

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

I truly appreciate the idea as well as inclusivity of this book, at the same time I have to say that if anything, I felt it was unfinished. It felt like a first or second draft, just capturing the basic skeleton (pun intended) of the story before the author would return it and actually put meat on it (he he he). Why should I care for characters I know nothing about and met them yesterday? The language was felt adequate yet fairly unimpressive. And in what reality people have such a lacklustre reaction to brutal murder? This book feels like an opportunity not taken and it is a real pity. Because the premise and even the plot had so much potential.

Zinky Boys: Soviet Voices from the Afghanistan War

Author: Svetlana Alexievich

First published: 1989

Pages: 224

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 5 days

This was an absolutely brutal read. A perfect gallery of human voices and the differences of their experience of the same events. Just really brutal.

Mermaid Moon

Author: Susann Cokal

First published: 2020

Pages: 496

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

I am SO disappointed but I guess it serves me right since this one was a complete cover buy. Unfortunately, the gorgeousness of the book (including UNDER the cover) is not matched by the content. I had expected a melancholy fairytale since after all this is supposed to be a sort of retelling of the Little Mermaid. And the premise itself sounded promising too. A young mermaid comes on land to find her long lost human mother, but unexpected happenings surrounding our main protagonist inspires some pretty strong feelings in a humble and religious community. Sadly the story is told in a way which makes me wonder for whom it was intended. Most of the book reads like the most boring and basic teenage romance (including instalove and a love triangle), but then there are really unnecessary descriptions of interspecies mating techniques. The structure of the story is very sloppy. I feel the 2 stars are more than generous.

Hitler's Forgotten Children: The Shocking True Story of the Nazi Kidnapping Conspiracy

Author: Ingrid Von Oelhafen

First published: 2015

Pages: 256

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

I was misled by the title of the book. I went into it expecting a study of Lebensborn (which was not a completely unknown thing to me) which would explore the reasons of its birth (pun not intended), people behind it, more information on the people who ran it, exploration of the routine and of course personal stories of its children. In a concise but rather short and watered-down way, I got all of those, however, it did not offer me any real depth of information. So what this book actually is? It is a personal memoir of a lady who had battled all of her life with the question of identity and origins and found in her later years that she was actually a Lebensborn baby. We get to know her difficulties over searching for information and eventually finding her origins. On one hand, the story is interesting and the writing very accessible, on the other hand, I found it somewhat unengaging and, as previously noted, not too informative for someone like me, who already possesses some knowledge of the matter, both because I have studied history and because the Nazis stealing children has always been a big topic in my country, Czechoslovakia back then since it happened here too. .

The Home For Unwanted Girls

Author: Joanna Goodman

First published: 2018

Pages: 364

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 3 days

A touching tale about complicated family matters and relationships in the context of 1950s Canada. I really enjoyed it and it earns bonus points for teaching me something new in terms of history. Definitely would recommend if you like books like Before We Were Yours.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Other Stories

Author: Robert Louis Stevenson

First published: 1886

Pages: 256

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 9 days

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this collection of short stories. True, I did not much care about one and felt a bit disappointed by another (The Suicide Club which had a phenomenal premise but fell short on excitement or satisfying finish), but overall I was quite intrigued and amused.

The Prince and the Dressmaker

Author: Jen Wang

First published: 2018

Pages: 277

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Oh my gosh this was SO PURE and THAT FINALE actually had me in stitches!!!!

[sailor-freak]

HALESTORM CELEBRATION / How I got into Halestorm?

So today (January 28th, yes I’ve marked it lol) is the day that I first listened to Halestorm’s second studio album ‘The Strange Case of...’, which is also the day I become full blown in love obsessed with Halestorm 😂. Okay, I get why does it matter, thing is Halestorm is a VERY important band to me, and while I don’t think I’ll ever properly know the very first time I ever listened to them back in late 2019 I do know when I first went for it and listened to this album that is also very important to me.

I remember the day very well 😂. I know before then I had heard I Miss The Misery and Love Bites (So Do I), and LOVED both of them (they’re still 2 of my favourite songs just in general), so I had been meaning to get more of that sound Halestorm were making by listening to the album both these songs were from. I didn’t do it for a while, idk why I just put things off a lot haha. Anyway Jan 28th comes, and it’s the day my driving instructor has her final test to become a fully qualified instructor, and in order to do this test she needs a student since she has to basically do a lesson in front of an examiner. She asked me to do it because I get along with her very well, she’s a friend of my mum’s and I’ve known her since I was an actual baby so I was already very comfortable around her, and we just muck about all the time taking the piss it’s great. Anyway, I had to get up about, idk, 6 or 7 in the morning? Got dressed and ready and ate and that, then she came to pick me up and take us to the test centre and that whole thing went down. An important detail, is that it was PEEING it down, absolutely shitting it down, typical British weather but worse. It’s raining now but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was then. So we do the test, then once it’s all over the examiner obviously has to talk to her about how well she did and that, so I have to go and wait in the car cos idk it’d be too awkward for her to be slated about her instructing skills in front of me? 😂. So I go and wait in the car, and I kid you not, not making this shit up, it starts HAILING. Yes, I became obsessed with Halestorm because of weather 😂. It starts hailing, and me being me gets Love Bites stuck in my head, so I’m just sat there watching the hail while bopping to Love Bites in my head 😂. It was there I decided I just had to go for it and listen to that album so I could get more of the sound I loved from those 2 songs I had heard.

So that all happened, I came home and I also remember specifically my dad was out at the dentist, idk he ate something that took a filling out or whatever, so I just got a drink, got some good, and looked for The Strange Case of Halestorm on Spotify and just listened to it 😂. I obviously got on with stuff while I did, if I’m listening to albums I need to be doing something otherwise I feel weird haha. I’ve done a review on the album before so that may have some of my initial thoughts from back then included, but I’m gonna be honest when I first listened to it I was disappointed 😂. I think it was cos I came looking for heavy BOPS, and I absolutely found that in songs like Mz. Hyde, Freak Like Me, Daughters of Darkness and that, but due to the Jekyll and Hyde nature of the album the section of ballads I didn’t really like 😂. I’m just not a big ballad person, unless there’s something in the lyrics or instrumental that really resonates with me the ballads are usually my least favourites 😂. But I kept listening to the songs from the album (and even a couple of weeks later BOUGHT the deluxe version physical copy) and grew to like the songs that weren’t the hard hitting heavy bangers I came looking for 😂. I mean, they can’t have put me off Halestorm that much cos LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY I listened to their self-titled debut album and loved that as well 😂.

So anyway that’s the story of The Strange Case of Halestorm and me, listening to that album was basically life changing I just wasn’t fully aware of it at the time 😂.

[killian-whump]

I know you weren't a big fan of s6, so if you could rewrite it, what would you change?

Everything.

No, I’m kidding. I mean, there were some things I liked about S6 and would definitely keep around. I thought the S5 finale set everything up for S6 really well. I was excited for the Land of Untold Stories, and all the tales that were hinted at in the scenes that took place there, and I love Regina, especially when she’s the Evil Queen in flashbacks, so I was all amped up for the dual Reginas storyline. S6 looked great from that point.

Then it all went to shit.

The Evil Queen thing was SO over-the-top, and Lana was playing her in a campy and ridiculous way that didn’t appeal to me at all. In hindsight, I can see that they were trying to keep her “redeemable” and play up the whole “still Regina, even as the Evil Queen” thing for the storyline resolution, so they needed her to only be quasi-evil instead of evil-evil. Okay, fair enough, but it was still super disappointing and even downright cringey, and I will never forgive them for turning one of my favorite parts of the show into a circus act. Honestly, if they weren’t going to do the Evil Queen justice, I would’ve rather they hadn’t gone anywhere near her. So that would be change #1: Drop the camp or drop that storyline entirely.

And they could’ve dropped it entirely. That exciting land of Untold Stories they teased us with in the S5 finale was... a let-down. Yes, we got Jekyll and Hyde and Captain Nemo... but the Aladdin stuff they gave us was more fairytale than literary classic, and wtf was up with the ridiculous one-off shit like the Count of Monte Cristo? There were SO many classics they could’ve visited, and greater detail they could’ve gone into with the ones they DID visit... and the Land of Untold Stories was so COOL looking, with its wild mix of architecture and dirigibles and steampunk style. WHY would you create such a fantastical and fun-looking world, and then take everyone from that world and put them in OUR boring ass world? S6 should’ve taken place IN the Land of Untold Stories and brought us a lot more fresh takes and characters from that land than the pittance we got. AND MORE STEAMPUNK, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

I’m also still angry that they teased me with an asylum plot in the press before the S5 finale, then gave me a taste of it IN that finale... and then ripped it from my greedy, hot little hands. They didn’t even put Killian Jones in a straitjacket while they were there. What the fuck, guys? Who does that? That man was born to be put into a straitjacket for my enjoyment and you had him RIGHT THERE and even put someone in a straitjacket, but it was the wrong fucking someone. Had S6 stayed in the Land of Untold Stories, we could’ve had untold opportunities for more asylum whump, and they could’ve put Killian in a straitjacket and made all of my dreams come true.

And why the SHIT did they actually kill off Hyde when Sam Witwer was the best thing to happen to that show since Colin, himself?! I mean, yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde storyline was probably planned from the get-go to end in their deaths, but when you see what a complete GEM Hyde is, what with his penchant for the Evil Queen’s cooking and his ridiculously awesome facial expressions and his dashing dapper-do and Sam Fucking Witwer’s everything... change whatever the fuck you need to change to somehow keep this man on your show. And then they even went and full-on made this man redeemable and gave him a heartbreaking backstory right before they killed him. Like, fuck you? Seriously. Fuck everyone for that one. I will never forgive them for killing Hyde.

Okay. Moving on from my general complaints, we come to my Killian-specific complaints. And there’s a lot of them. S6 did that character SO wrong SO many times... I really just want to take it out back and beat the shit out of it.

For starters, his relationships were ALL thrown in the shitcan. It was like S3-S5 just never happened and he was right back to Square One with everyone, being that dastardly pirate that can’t be trusted and that no one could ever care about. People who clearly cared enough about him to go to the fucking Underworld for him in S5 were suddenly calling him a pirate like it’s a foul word, and blatantly telling him he’s not good enough to be part of the family. Yeah, I get it, they wanted some dramatic negativity before showing these characters fully accepting and embracing him as part of their clan... but you know what makes for really awesome storytelling? Realistic relationships that grow and evolve over the course of several seasons - which was what they fucking HAD before they threw them all in the shitter for fake “developments” that had already happened. And FYI, Henry was actually nastier to Killian in the beginning of 6x06 than he was during the Spell of Shattered Sight. Like, did no one at the writers table even pause in their pursuit of drama long enough to realize that if Henry really ever had that much animosity towards Killian, it would’ve come out THEN? Or, you know, at any point in the course of the last four seasons?!

And it goes without saying: I would never, ever, ever have had Killian be the murderer of David’s father. Or, at the very least, I would’ve never had the murder go down the way they showed it in the flashback. Have it be an accidental death. Have it be a pirate duel. Have it be anything but cold-blooded murder. First of all, it’s just not believable that David could forgive him so easily and so quickly for depriving him of a loving father for no fucking reason. Secondly, they spend four whole seasons showing us flashbacks of a pirate with a deeply-buried heart of gold, who kept wanting to make the right decisions... but ended up making the wrong ones time and time again. They never showed us, before this ridiculously cheap dramatic ploy, a man who willfully murdered people just for shits and giggles. Finally, Killian Jones is a motherfucking pirate. Stealing from the King is par for the course, but the whole “Dead men tell no tales” thing makes ZERO sense. Pirates thrive by striking FEAR into the hearts of their enemies, and you don’t get a solid reputation for being a cut-throat villain to be feared by literally killing off all the witnesses to your evil deeds. Pirates are like, one step short of going “BEHOLD! It is I, Captain PirateGuy, here to steal your gold and seduce your ladies! Be sure to tell all your friends and neighbors about this when we’re through.” So... yeah. Way to throw a completely nonsensical spanner in the works that makes literally NO sense and flies in the face of everything else you’ve said and shown about this character in the past. It’s shit, and I refuse to accept it, and they should be sorry for its very existence.

And then there’s Captain Swan. *sigh* This relationship fell prey to the same shit that ALL of Killian’s relationships were destroyed by throughout S6. Only it was much, much worse here - because this is supposed to be (and has been!) his closest, most important relationship. And yet... We see Emma blow him off and then lie right to his face in the very first episode. Then she lies some more in each of the next few episodes, and when her lies are finally revealed, she doesn’t even seem to give a shit about the trust she’s betrayed or the hurt she’s caused. And the fact that they even filmed that deleted scene with Emma giving Killian a flippant “I said I was sorry...” just shows how fucking tone-deaf those writers were. If someone lies to your face, repeatedly, over something of life-or-death importance and for a lengthy period of time, then basically gives you a “I said I was sorry, what more do you want from me?” twenty minutes after their lies are revealed, because you’re still sore about it... get the FUCK out of that relationship immediately, because that person does not give two shits about you.

Things only got worse when she snooped through his belongings, pushed him to propose on her terms and when she wanted him to (despite the fact that he was clearly drunk and troubled by something at the time), called off their engagement when he dared to keep something from her (despite the fact that she’d just recently spent weeks lying right to his face), believed that he would just abandon her completely despite everything they’d been through, lied to him again right before their wedding in the course of once again shutting him out and not letting him help her with something (even though that’s literally the EXACT reason she ended their engagement when HE was the one doing it)... I mean, come on. That is NOT the CS I signed up for, and I refuse to accept it as the CS that is my OTP.

Hence, the Dark Emma explanation was born in my head. And when it comes to changes to S6... I’d either completely re-write about 90% of S6′s CS storylines... or make my Dark Emma theory a reality. The theory is as such: Since Emma did not die in 5x11, but merely had her Darkness sucked into Killian/Excaliber before HE died... some residual darkness remained in her. Nothing much was seen/noticed in 5b (though Killian DID make a comment about her not sleeping...) because she was too focused on saving Killian. However, once she was back home, safe and sound with her man, the Darkness started showing itself. She lied to those she loved. She made uncharacteristically selfish decisions. She hurt people. She eschewed all she’d learned about letting others in and getting help from the people who love her. And it wasn’t until her literal and figurative death at Gideon’s hands that the Darkness was truly eradicated from her - and only THEN could she truly find her Happy Beginning.

Oh, and by the way, I also hate the writers for even HAVING Killian walk to the docks with a packed bag and even consider boarding the Nautilus and leaving town. No. Just... no. Having him even CONSIDER doing that is even worse than having Emma believe he WOULD do such a thing to her. It’s like they got the S6 writers out of a Cracker Jack box and not a single one had ever watched an episode of the show or seen this couple before in their lives. Their whole fucking SCHTICK is that he would NEVER abandon her, that he would follow her to the end of the world or time itself... and that, despite a lifetime of fears and abandonment issues, Emma Swan has come to TRUST that he would never leave her. YOU CAN’T JUST GO “LOL, THAT’S NOT TRUE NOW” AND EXPECT ME TO ACCEPT THAT SHIT. No. Fuck you. Fuck your entire season AND the boat it rode in on. Just... fuck, man. FUCK.

The wedding was nice, though. I loved the musical aspect. Everyone did great in it. It was a truly lovely episode in almost every way, although I didn’t care for Emma’s dress and especially not her hairdo. It was too stark, too severe, but somehow too fancy at the same time... and it seemed more Jen Morrison than Emma Swan to me. Other than that, though, it was lovely. Everyone looked lovely. The singing was lovely. The vows were lovely. Shame about the whirling black vortex of doom, though.

Speaking of things that suck, I would also like to set that fucking doily shirt that Emma wore in 6x17 on fucking fire. And she actually DARED to rescue my man in that atrocity. Did she not realize I would need to SEE that shitty article of clothing every time I admired that dashing rescue? Did no one think of the KWs of the world who would suffer from this fashion faux pas?!?!

Oh, and I hate that they literally had Emma burn Killian’s image in the curse and not have any kind of recollection. I mean, I get that they wanted Henry to make her believe, and the way they got him to do that was cute, but did they HAVE to show Emma looking at Killian’s picture burning in the fire and being like, “Eh, he might ring a bell, but not enough to bother thinking about for more than a second or anything.” I could’ve done without that scene, honestly, because it just comes off like, “This love isn’t strong enough to break through this curse!” and EXCUSE ME, but where’s the fucking fun in that? Haven’t any of those bitches ever read a goddamn fanfic?! LOVE BREAKING THROUGH A CURSE IS ALL THE RAGE, GUYS. That’s the kind of shit we like to read and see in our OTPs. What’s with this “Eh, let that handsome fucker on page 172 burn” shit??

Oh, but that scene where Fiona serves the charred remains of the book to Henry on a platter would need to stay. That shit was stone cold savage. That bitch came to play, and that scene straight up told you that she was NOT going to be sitting at anyone’s Thanksgiving table next year, asking someone to pass the potatoes like she was just named People Magazine’s Redeemed Villain of the Year or something. She meant business.

Finally, I think I would’ve ended the show with the S6 finale. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed S7 and I loved KnightRook and Wish Hook and all the excellent Colin content we got that year... but in hindsight, the Hail Mary play of rebooting the series really just didn’t work, and S7 ended up as the “extra chapter” the series itself didn’t need. It’s not that I would want to give up the awesomeness of what we had... It’s just that I feel like if we hadn’t had it, we’d be unaware of what we were missing out on anyway, but the series as a whole would’ve maintained more of its impact and dignity.

But then, we were blessed with Wish Hook and the wonders of S7 Hooked Queen, so... :D I mean, coulda shoulda woulda, I’ve got ‘em now and you can’t take that away from meeee...

[lilacmoon83]

Dreaming Out Loud

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 122: Quest for the Key, Pt. 1

As they followed Hades, they noticed he was leading them toward their old loft, causing Snow and David to exchange a glance.

"Wait...you think Hook has a key to the Land of Untold Stories?" David asked.

"No...but he still has the compass that he and Cora stole from Anton to get to this land. And we need that to get to the land we have to go to in order to find the person that may have the key we need," Hades answered.

"So...the key is in another realm entirely?" Emma asked.

"Yes...another one that fortunately was excluded from the United Realms. Trust me," he replied.

"Papa Hades...where is this key?" Snow asked. He sighed.

"Possibly Transylvania...a land of sheer terror and monsters," he said with a wince.

"We're going to Transylvania?" Emma asked, as her eyebrows were in her hair.

"Gods no...you three are staying here. Your grandmother and I will go get the key and then come back for all of you," he replied. Persephone nodded.

"Hey wait...you don't just get to leave us behind. We're coming with you," Snow said.

"She's right...my parents will be perfectly willing to watch the kids," David added.

"You three are not coming to Transylvania with us," Persephone argued.

"Mother...I've been to the Underworld, at least in the alternate reality. I grew up there half the time. How much worse can Transylvania be?" Snow asked.

"A thousand times worse, Snowdrop. When your mother and I were raising you in the Underworld, we were the rulers there. Everyone knew that even thinking about touching you was a one way trip into the pits of Tartarus or worse...getting made into a chew toy for Cerberus," Hades quipped.

"Yes...and we do not have that kind of pull in Transylvania. The monsters do not fear the threat of eternal damnation in Tartarus there," Persephone added.

"Maybe not, but we're still coming," Snow insisted.

"No...you're not," Eli chimed in.

"But Daddy…" she started to say and Emma had to suppress her own laughter. Her mother sounded exactly like she did when she was trying to get her way with her own father.

"Except that you may need them," Demeter chimed in.

"Mother…" Persephone chided.

"Need us?" David inquired curiously and she sighed.

"The man we need to speak to...I wronged him in the originally time line and we had quite the falling out. He won't be happy to see me. However, he has much respect for heroes, so meeting Prometheus' new champion will have its appeal and Snow actually has met him as a child,' Hades said.

"He adored you...but then most do," Persephone added fondly.

"So we should go," David said.

"No," Hades refuted.

"Yes...because you will never get him to give you the key," Demeter responded.

"But Mother...Hades has changed since then and in the alternate reality, they made amends," Persephone reminded.

"And in the original, Hades cursed him to remain in Transylvania and he is forever trapped in it," Demeter countered.

"Who the hell are we talking about?" Emma asked, as they knocked on Hook's door.

"Later," Hades deflected, as Hook answered the door with Alice in his arms.

"Hello…" he said, with a bit of trepidation.

"Relax Hook...do you still have that compass that you and Cora stole from the giant?" Hades asked.

"Aye...does the giant want it back or something?" he asked, gesturing them in.

"No...we need it to visit another land that has something else we need," Persephone answered, as the former pirate retrieved the compass from a bedside table.

"Anything I can help with?" he offered.

"Not unless you've ever navigated to Transylvania," Demeter said.

"Why in bloody hell would you want to go to that nightmare?" he questioned.

"Unfortunately, there is something there we need," Hades answered.

"Well...good luck with that. I think I'll opt out of this adventure," he said, as they thanked him again and left.

"Are you going to tell us who we're looking for?" Emma asked impatiently.

"Especially since we're clearly going with you," Snow added. Hades sighed.

"We're going to Transylvania, because the only person I know that has a key, besides Jekyll himself, is Van Helsing," he announced.

"Wait...like the Van Helsing the monster hunter?" Henry asked.

"One in the same," he answered.

"Awesome...can I go?" Henry asked.

"No way in hell,"

"Absolutely not,"

"Not in a million years," were the responses and his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Van Helsing...that leaves me out," Rumple muttered.

"What did you do him, Rumple?" Belle asked.

"Nothing...honestly," he responded.

"Then why can't you go?" Neal asked.

"Because he'll hunt me. He considers me one of his monsters," Rumple replied.

"Maybe that's best anyway. We need someone looking over everything while we're gone," Snow said. David nodded.

"I'll stay with the kids and man the station then," Neal offered and Emma nodded and kissed him tenderly.

"Please be safe," he pleaded. He hated letting her go without him, but knew not only that she could take care of herself, but that her parents would never let anything happen to her.

"I will," she promised.

"Okay...pack some things and say goodbye to the children. We'll leave in an hour," Persephone said, as they headed for their castle to do so.

~*~

The Land of Untold Stories

"Entry number three hundred twenty six. The latest attempt of my serum has yielded failed results. The homeless victims from the Land Without Magic have all experienced various side effects upon injection with the common denominator of death," Jekyll reported into the recording device.

"Each autopsy I performed has revealed various ailments in some victims, while others were in optimal health. However, each one died of heart failure due to the serum's effects," he continued.

"I have concluded that I need a stronger type of control group for my tests. But this is not easily accomplished," Jekyll stated, as he put a hand to his forehead to fight off another headache.

"I have been told that the magical realms have all been joined together and going there presents a conundrum. Getting a stronger type of test subject, one born in a magical land, would be quite difficult in this new United Realms. I have word that it is policed by powerful figures and ruled by Gods," he reported.

"Normally, my medical logs are not filled with such fantastical talk, but this is the information relayed to me by my contact, a magical entity himself," he said.

"He assures me that he has ways for me to continue my testing and I await more information from him," Jekyll concluded, as he put away his research and the headache became much more intense. He could no longer fight it and his entire body convulsed, as his glasses dropped from his face. His body began to change quite dramatically, as he grew taller and thinner. His blonde hair became brown and his blue eyes red. His clothing changed too, from a tan vest and slacks, with his white overcoat, to a dark suit with a red tie. Gone was Dr. Jekyll and in his place was Mr. Edward Hyde.

"Mr. Poole...I'll be making a trip to New York. Please keep a good watch on the asylum," he instructed, as he extracted an ornate looking key from his inside jacket pocket.

He and Dr. Jekyll had one similar interest and that was being separate from each other to live their own lives. Jekyll wished to pursue his science and experiments, while Hyde's interests were more in obtaining powerful artifacts and information pertaining to magic. He loved power and he always wanted more. He was not as violent as the legends of his suggested, though he had his moments when he did lose his temper and as a result, destruction usually resulted, due to his superhuman strength. But Dr. Jekyll, though he feigned he was the good half, could be just as violent at times when he lost his temper as well.

Once outside the asylum, he used the key and a doorway appeared. He turned the key and unlocked a portal to his destination, before stepping through.

~*~

They gathered in the atrium of Snow and David's castle, as they hugged David's parents and Snow's father.

"I really don't like this," Eli fretted.

"We'll be okay, Daddy," Snow assured, but that did not lessen his worry.

"We don't like this either, but it may be necessary to have them with us," Hades said reluctantly, as Persephone appeared with a velvet pouch.

"Anton gave us several beans so we'll have extras in case there's trouble," Persephone said, as they said goodbye again, before Persephone tossed a bean down. A horizontal orange portal appeared before them, as Hades willed the compass to the place they needed to go. They all joined hands and stepped through the portal.

~*~

The pounding sound of the hooves of horses drew closer, until the sound was roaring in his ears. He had thought the forests surrounding Camelot were going to be fairly safe. He wanted to study and experiment with the waters of Avalon, but someone must have spotted him, because he now had the Knights of the Roundtable on his tail.

"Stop fugitive!" Sir Percival called, as he and Sir Tristan cornered him. He was then surprised to see King Arthur approach on his horse and dismount the animal.

"I warn you, Your Majesty...I may not the Chernabog anymore, but I am still a formidable opponent," Frollo challenged.

"At ease, Judge Frollo...we're not here to arrest you," Arthur stated and the older man looked skeptical.

"I am here to acquire your assistance in solving my problems with Excalibur," he added. Frollo looked very intrigued by that.

"You want to hire me?" Frollo questioned.

"Next to Merlin, you are now the most knowledgeable Sorcerer in all the realms, save for the Dark One, but he is obviously not an option. Merlin will never help me do what I need to do either, so he must never be freed. That leaves you to help me fix Excalibur," Arthur explained.

"I must learn how I can repair it. There must be an alternate way...and if there is not, I will need your help to force King David to use the Promethean flame to do it," the King added. Frollo smirked.

"I have done extensive reading on this subject and I think I can help," he responded.

"Then name your price," Arthur said.

"I do require a large library and place to work. I would also like all the creature comforts with a lucrative salary and free time to work on my own interests," Frollo said, making his demands.

"Done," Arthur agreed.

"Good...then I will follow you to Camelot," Frollo said.

"You said that you have done extensive reading on this subject. What exactly do you know?" Percival inquired. Frollo smirked.

"There is more than one way to skin a Dark One," the Judge said cryptically.

~*~

They arrived through the portal and looked around at the barren landscape. The sky was gray and murky, making for a very depressing sight.

"I thought you said this is Transylvania...not the Land Without Color," Emma quipped.

"Oh it is and they have color," Hades replied, as they heard a roaring, as some sort of winged creature flew far above them.

"They love red here...blood red," he said.

"That's not disturbing or anything," Snow said, as David clutched her hand.

"Okay...so where is this Van Helsing guy?" Emma asked. Hades gestured ahead of them and there was what looked like a village in the near distance.

"Probably the nearest tavern," Persephone said, as they started walking there.

"So...do you remember meeting this man? In the other reality?" David asked his wife curiously. She nodded.

"I do...he was very intimidating. But kind to me," she recalled, as she remembered one particular time.

~*~

Many years ago

Zelena's alternate time line

Hades sighed, as he saw another boat full of souls arrive with Charon upon the river Styx. He picked up his staff and tapped it on the ground. He was mostly passive to death now and his cold, stern gaze often made the souls fearful. As God of the Underworld, many naturally equated him to be evil and there was a time when that would have been a very astute assertion. But love had long ago melted the ice around his heart, though many would never know that.

As he tapped his staff, the few wicked souls in the boat were immediately cast into the river of lost souls. Others looked at him wearily, as they ascended to Asphodel Meadows. Those left behind were ushered to the realm above them that was for those with unfinished business.

Many of the unfortunate victims as of late were from Paris. Judge Frollo had been waging his religious war against secular groups and calling it a cleansing of the city. As much as he would have loved to stop him, he could do nothing and could only hope that someone would eventually rise against him. He had hopes it would be Quasimodo and that the unfortunate man would expose his hypocrisy.

At that moment, he heard someone else appear in his Throne room and he suppressed a growl, as Van Helsing littered his Throne room with various monster limbs and entrails.

"I had a busy day," he said, as he went straight to Hades liquor cabinet and smelled the scotch, before downing it straight from the bottle, even as the God of the Dead glared at him.

"What? I made quite a haul today. A Basilisk that was terrorizing Rome for weeks, a dark Elf in Weselton, and an out of control Chimera in Thebes. Not to mention the banshees I exorcised from a church in Nottingham," he boasted.

"I didn't say it wasn't good work, but you can't just come dropping body parts in my Throne room! Snow could walk in here any minute and I do not want her to see...this," he said in disgust, as he used his blue fire to incinerate the grisly sight.

"Sorry...I can never remember when she's here," he claimed.

"Well, it's winter so that should be a pretty good clue, but then I suppose you need to be sober for that," he said.

"Hey...the duties you task me with are not easy. You'd want to be drunk most of the time too," he argued. Hades sighed.

"You are the best monster hunter in all the realms and it's something that must be done. As ruler of the Underworld, part of my job is seeing that there is balance between good and evil. And we both know my stupid brother is too busy with his conquests to rule effectively," he reminded. Van Helsing nodded in acknowledgment to that. He couldn't disagree. He had once worked for Zeus, but when he called him out and challenged him, he was cast out of the heavens and to Earth, briefly stripped of his powers. It was hundreds of years ago and with his work being undone, monsters began to run rampant over the Earth, making it a very dark time for mortals.

Then Hades, in direct defiance of Zeus, restored Van Helsing to his former power, and since that day, he had reported to the God of the Underworld and kept balance in the realms. Van Helsing took another drink, as Cerberus clomped into the Throne room with an eight-year-old Snow on his back. She giggled and hopped down, as the three-headed dog nuzzled her gently.

"Papa Hades!" she called, as he smiled and scooped her up.

"Did you have a fun visit in town, Snowdrop?" he asked.

"Uh huh...mama helped three people move on and she said I helped too," Snow replied.

"That's wonderful...your light is very welcome to those troubled souls," he said, as she noticed the other man.

"Mr. Van Helsing...did you kill a lot of bad monsters today?" she asked.

"I did little Miss Snow," he replied in a softened tone. Snow was about the only one that he wasn't gruff with, though he had a great amount of respect for Persephone and showed such when the Queen entered the chamber.

"My Queen," he greeted.

"Hello Van...that was good work today. Did you happen to get me anymore information on Dr. Frankenstein?" Persephone inquired.

"Ah...the Land Without Color, a monochrome bore that place is. But yes...his experiments are raising eyebrows and not the good kind. His father is threatening to disown him and only hasn't, because Gerhardt has begged him not to," he reported.

"Then he is still experimenting with the dead?" she said in a troubled tone.

"I'm afraid so...I plan to pay him a visit and warn him against it, before heading to Transylvania. The vampire problem there is starting to get out of hand," he mentioned.

"We eradicated vampires for a reason and if we had power in Transylvania, we would do so there. But since we don't...that's where you come in," Hades said.

"Don't worry, the blood suckers are on my radar in a bad way," he said bitterly. And they knew he was serious since he had lost the woman he once loved to a vampire.

"We appreciate your efforts in helping us to block their realm from accessing the other realms," Persephone said. He nodded, tipping his hat to her, before he made his way toward his portal exit.

"Bye Mr. Van Helsing!" Snow called.

"Goodbye little Snow," he called back.

~*~

"Wow Mom...I had no idea you knew Van Helsing!" Emma said in amazement. Snow shrugged.

"I guess I didn't think about it. I only met him a handful of times," she said.

"Don't expect a warm reception. He won't be happy we're here," Hades warned.

"Why? Did you two have a falling out or something?" Emma asked. Hades winced.

"Not in the alternate time line, but in the original, we came to blows when I resurrected and created Deimos. He was livid and rightfully so. I pulled a Zeus and banished him back to Transylvania permanently," Hades explained.

"He fared much better in the alternate time line obviously, but he's still sore about what I did in the original one," he added, as they noticed all eyes on them once they were walking through the village.

"I suppose we do stick out in our Storybrooke clothes," Snow said, as they approached the tavern. They walked in and all eyes were on them, as they strolled toward the bar.

"Well, this isn't unnerving or anything," Emma commented.

"They probably think we're witches and in their defense, they have a right to be leery. Vampires and monsters terrorize their villages on a regular basis," Persephone said.

"There he is...we need to make this quick," Hades said, as they approached the bar.

"You think these people are going to attack us?" Emma asked.

"No...they're too afraid. I'm not worried about them," Hades replied.

"Then who do you think may come?" Snow asked.

"The covens," the man at the bar said, as he lifted the bill of his hat slightly.

"Coming here was a mistake...this place is worse than ever," Van Helsing warned.

"We need your help with something and then we'll be gone," Hades promised.

"It's too late," he hissed.

"They would have smelled the demi-Goddess blood scent rolling off these two the moment you stepped into this realm," Van Helsing growled.

"What is he talking about?" David asked.

"Demi-God blood is like the ultimate feast to them," Persephone answered.

"It's why we were reluctant to bring you," Hades added.

"And him...not a Demi-God, but there's definitely something that will attract them too," Van Helsing commented. Persephone winced.

"Promethean fire," she told him and he threw up his arms.

"Perfect...they'll all be in a frenzy," he snapped, as they heard screeching in the distance.

"Damn you...I think your presence might have even brought the King of them all out and that's saying something. He usually sends the minions out," he said, as he opened his coat, revealing silver stakes and he picked up his cross bow, which was loaded with silver tipped arrows.

"We wouldn't have come if it wasn't important," Hades said.

"Save it...they're here!" he snapped. Persephone's hands glowed and she used her magic to coat Emma's sword with silver and Snow's arrow tips as well.

"What about David's sword?" Snow asked.

"Promethean fire is as good as silver with them," she answered, as people screamed when the roof of the tavern was literally ripped off and they were dive bombed by the winged monsters.

~*~

Special Agent Zach O'Bryan sat at his desk, finishing some paperwork from a former case, when his superior approached and put a file on his desk.

"Have you looked into this cold case yet?" his supervisor asked.

"I ran the coordinates that my contact sent me, but it's in the middle of the Maine woods. There's no town there," Zach replied.

"Which is fishy at best. I want you to check this out," his supervisor stated.

"No disrespect, Ma'am...but this thing is a ghost hunt. It's thirty-year-old bones and a traumatized kid that's now a highly disturbed, traumatized man," Zach argued.

"Who insists that he can point us to a killer. If you were able to close a cold case from over thirty-years-ago, there might be accommodations for us all," Supervising Special Agent Paulo said. He sighed.

"All right...can I least leave in the morning?" he asked. She smirked.

"Sorry O'Bryan...get your go bag. You leave now and you'll be taking Agent Quinn with you. She needs to get her feet wet," he answered. He sighed.

"Great...a rookie," he complained, though he himself had only been with the bureau for three years. He grabbed his go bag and met their newest agent at the elevator.

"Ready for a big old wild goose chase?" he asked her. She smiled.

"I'm just anxious to get into the field, Sir," she responded.

"Ugh...don't call me, Sir. I'm like five years older than you," he complained.

"Fine...only if you don't call me rookie the whole time," she quipped.

"We'll see," he said, as they boarded the elevator. Maine was their destination and he expected absolutely nothing to come of this other than wasted time. He couldn't know, however, that he would be exceptionally mistaken...

[asdfghjkl1x1]

There’s No Place like Home | Grace & Lucas

Grace was walking fast and away from her place, still charged with a mix of different feelings she had no idea how to let out, when she felt a presence behind her. The ginger stopped in her steps and turned with her fist clenched only to find a surprised Luke behind her "God, Luke, you could tell me it was you"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you would act like that"

"I'm in a very bad mood, so I'm no available for a talk"

"It's okay, I just... want to go away"

Grace blinked a few times, then pointed at Chase's place "What happened?"

Luke looked down "I got into the Army, and Chase barely cares about it"

The ginger took a deep breath "I see. I don't think he doesn't care, though"

The young man looked at her "How can you say that? I told him I was going in January and he only asked how fast I could pack, and that I took a decision so there's no turning back. I mean... fuck!" he walked away and went back to her, a bit more calmed "I feel like I die he wouldn't even be there, unless it's for administrative reasons"

Grace felt bad for him, and felt angry at Chase, but being the latter her best friend, she couldn't help to be bit more inclined to his side "Maybe he's still processing... then again..." she pointed at her own place "not everyone is what you hope they are" a sad expression drew on her face.

"Where are you going?" Luke asked not wanting to dig into it.

"Home. My hometown, I mean." Grace sighed.

"C-Can I go with you? I don't think my family would like me around"

"Who said they don't?" The ginger messed with Luke's hair and giggled softly "You're my family too, kid. Even if you act as Lucy's spy" wrapping an arm around her shoulder she walked along with him until the bus station.

Once they were at the airport and about to get on the plane, she decided that it would be a good idea to share her secrets with him. So, she gave him her journal.

Luke took it and read the life of a young Grace who wasn't much happier than  she was now, however, the shiny moments really shone. He found himself smiling at her short stories, her love for Arthur and Camelot legends, her adventures with her cousin William, and a particular summer with a girl named Claudette.

Then, he found a certain page that scared him. Luke almost dropped the journal at how scary the words written were, he closed the journal and looked at Grace "So, you're Marion Grant?"

The ginger was surprised at the question "I don't know what you're talking about"

Luke got out a familiar book "I've read this in secret. I particularly took interest on this verse:

I say goodbye to

the lover I'll never have,

the sun and the hay.

A golden romance

became a bloodshed, and I

must stay far away.

I've become the child

of the sanguine moon, as I

am born with the flesh.

A sole lavender

field put us apart, yet that

slap divided us.

Loneliness walks with

me, I say goodbye to the

lover never had.

"You read her books?"

"I'm not into that... sadism and lust she started to write later, well, more like I don't get it because is not like my sexual life is very active, but this first book was really meaningful. I actually wrote her letters" Luke looked down feeling shy.

"So you're her fan?"

"Your fan."

"Why I never got your letters?"

"What do you mean? You replied to them"

"I did?"

"Yes, I have this one. You wrote me a verse after I asked you a lot of questions" Luke quickly took a letter out of the book and handed it to Grace who read the verse written.

Lucas was a good

prophet, the kindest amongst

Jesus' followers.

I can sense your kind

nature in these letters you wrote,

wisdom beyond age.

However, a fan

of puzzles is also here.

Detectivesque.

Lucas may be love,

but all I see, is one grand

Hercule Poirot.

Grace giggled "Agatha. She's brilliant. Marion, I mean"

Luke beamed a smile "I know" then blushed. "But are you her or not?"

The ginger surrendered "I am, but it's not easy to explain. She's as you can see my alter ego, but right now I'm not her, I'm Grace"

Luke tried to make sense of that without success.

The Welsh noticed that and tried to explain him again "You've read Jekyll and Hyde? Well, I'm Dr. Jekyll and she's Mr. Hyde. Yes, with all and the lust, and she gets violent when she's not satiated in that sense. But I don't have to take a formula and I'm not crazy, she also comes out when I'm in danger both physically and-or emotionally, or when someone forces her to come out. Then, I have to drink a lavender tea for her to make me take over my own body. Do you get it until there?"

Luke had trouble processing all that information, but relating Jekyll and Hyde was enough, then he came out with a realization. "So, you're not running away from Lucy because you hate her, you're going away because you're afraid you hurt her, right? Does that mean you're in that much of a bad position?"

Grace sighed "Yeah, you know that scary page? And the newspaper articles? I had no idea I did that, it startled me, it made me panic, but... Lucy and I also didn't have a good night, so that made me more afraid to sleep next to her" she bit her lip, thinking about that, but also feeling guilty for leaving her just like that.

Luke held her hand "Is Marion that bad?"

The ginger shook her head slowly "No, but others think she is. Also, she hated Lucy for what she did to me, though in the present time, she doesn't feel like that towards her anymore. I just need answers from the person that was with me."

"Claudette, right? The lover never had."

Grace nodded.

They took a nap together even thought the flight wouldn't be that long, but they needed some rest and to process everything.

When they made it, William was by the entrance, in his usual plaid shirt, brown pants and boots, waiting for them. He hugged Grace and this one introduced him to Luke, who was somehow slightly blushing while looking  at his turquoise eyes. "Hey, laddie."

"H-Hey. I mean, hi, I'm Lucas. Nice to meet you."

They went to William's truck and after a few minutes under a starry sky they made it to his place.

Lucas looked around "So, this is your hometown? It's so quiet" he gazed at the lake in front and smiled, then got a tad sad because he thought it was bad he couldn't swim to it or even sit by with Chase. He frowned then at the thought. He probably wouldn't care anyway. It'll be just a lake like any other for him.

For Grace, glancing at the lake was sadder. It wasn't just a place for past adventures anymore, but the place Lucy asked her to marry her, and she asked the Irish to marry her as well. She swallowed a knot that formed and got inside the house. It was warm. A fire was on. The she noticed something—/someone/ missing,

"Where's Claudette?"

"She went home with her family." William's face was a mix of sadness and disappointment.

Grace got alarmed "Why did she even go there?"

He sighed "How to tell you this, Grace..." then sat on a nearby chair "I don't know, but she doesn't want to come back. After the baby was born, she just... I don't know, she just didn't want her, nor me. She took a few of her things and left. I'm still trying to think what could have happened."

Luke sighed and mumbled "So, it's a day for leaving everyone, isn't it?

William heard and looked up "You guys left home, too?"

Grace nodded "We did. Lucas wanted to get away from his boyfriend, and I'm trying to seek answers, but also to protect Lucy from.. well, me.

William frowned and asked with a cold tone "Why you still consider that monster as a part of yourself?"

"William, please, don't. I'm not here to fight you about Marion."

"Then why you don't get rid of her already?"

"I can't! What you think Claudette was trying to do?"

Luke turned to Grace "Wait... you were trying to get rid of her? As in kill her?"

The Welsh stood mute for a while. "It's not like that, Lucas"

"Why?"

"I can't be fully myself if she gets in the way between me and Lucy!"

Luke sighed "Look, Lucy's my best friend and I want her happy, but not at the cost of... killing a part of yourself. I don't know, maybe I'm just stupid, but that's not right." He took his book out "There's... there's a life here... living and breathing and how could you two just treat her like she's something that must be killed because she's different? Why not just live with her? She shows up in times of danger, I'm pretty sure that you two have some things to thank her about."

Grace was speechless, Luke was indeed as Marion said, wiser beyond his age. She had no answer for him, but deep down she knew he was right.

William, was equally speechless, both surprised at the wisdom he showed in his words, and then slightly angry at how passionately he defended Marion. What's worse, he reminded him somehow of his wife, when defending Grace.

After some minutes of silence, Grace spoke up, "Why is this town so extra quiet?"

William stood up, and went for his mug then poured hot chocolate in it, and then took two more cups and served some for Grace and Luke. "Some time after you left, those wolves came back, and they kept coming any other week, so now we don't go out at nights." He handed both cups to his guests.

"That's not possible. Wolves don't come here around this time, at least not so frequently. And a pack?"

"I know, back then, in the forest, we used to cross with one wolf or two around winter, but now, the entire pack takes some days to walk in the town for food. So, now, we're in a constant lock up."

Grace suddenly stood up "Is my mother okay?"

"She is, she's at home now. Don't go out so frequently as before. Though the neighbors visit her in the mornings a lot, they somehow feel safe with her."

Grace blinked, it was some new info she never thought she would received, then again, she found out last year her mother was bisexual, and a woman was the reason she was not around her during her childhood, so she should expect the surprises often.

Luke felt interested and asked "Are we going to meet your mom now?"

The ginger hesitated but gave in "Yes, but let me make sure there are no wolves around and that she's awake first. William, keep an eye on him, I'll text you."

Grace went out, looked at her sides, her home was at the end of the lake, so, if the thing was a dangerous as her cousin said, she would need Marion, especially if she found her mother in danger.

She looked for a broken glass and cut herself close to the wrist. Then everything went black.

The ginger woke up a few minutes later, looking around, finally making it home after a short run, everything was quiet and dark indeed. Taking her keys, she went in, and then was received by an awake and smiley Adelaide Morgan wearing her usual faded blue dress, in the kitchen, making tea.

"Good evening, mom" she greeted in a soft voice. Only to be taken aback by the woman's reaction.

Adelaide Morgan stopped in her steps, as she noticed something she couldn't say yet, and her gray eyes just filled with fear, making her smile vanish. "You're not my daughter."

Marion was shocked "How do you know?"

"Your posture, Grace would usually come to me with a somehow defeated stand, you, look too proud of yourself, and Grace would never greet me with 'mom'. Also, you opened the door with your left hand, my girl is right-handed. You're Marion, right?"

Marion nodded.

"Are you going to hurt me?"

The ginger shook her head "No, ma'am. You're Grace's mom how could I?"

"I don't know, for sending the journal or for making her life difficult?"

Marion sat "I'm not going to hurt you, Grace wanted me to check if you were okay."

"I am" Adelaide sighed "You want some coffee?"

"No, I just had chocolate at William's?"

The blonde woman's face turned into an expression of worry which made Marion laugh "And you're alive?"

"I wasn't me when I was with him. But I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind shooting me on sight."

Adelaide sighed "You two need to make amends"

"How? He hates me for scaring him in the tunnels."

"Look, young lady, whether you're Grace or not, I don't care, that's my daughter's body, and he's the cousin of that body. Therefore, he's also your cousin. So, you should apologize for whatever happened."

Marion smiled, the woman was the bravest she ever met, here she was always despised by everyone, but Grace's mom spoke to her completely unafraid, more than that, she cared about her.

"Does that mean you're also my mom?"

"Of course, unless you don't want me" she said as she walked to the table with her cup of tea. "What are you doing here?"

"Grace read the journal, and she's trying to get some answers."

"Claudette's gone."

"I know. William told Grace she went to her family and something about not wanting her baby?"

Adelaide took a sip of her tea and put the cup down regally "Claudette's being acting's stranger. At first I thought it was because of the pregnancy, but this seems to be something else, I don't know what is it, but when I went to her place, I saw your journal there, and got it without her noticing, then sent it to you, after reading a few things, of course" She held Marion's hand "I'm sorry, about everything you've gone through. I'm sorry for not being there" her voice cracking at the last phrase.

The alter was moved by such consideration, she felt like tearing up, but avoided that, resting her hand on top of her mother's, she smiled "I got some love after that, and I'm popular with girls."

The old woman laughed "Like your mother, huh?"

"Of course, who do you think I take after?"

"Well, you're ginger. That's not from me." Both ladies laughed for a few seconds, until a babies cries came out from upstairs.

"That's the baby. Wait here" Adelaide stood up from her chair and went upstairs. A few seconds later, she came down with a baby in her arms.

Marion, curious, went over her "She's ginger"

"Like her father"

"This is William's and Claudette's daughter, right?"

"Yes, I'm taking care of her for a while. Claudette doesn't want her around, but William feels like not being around her either."

"What?"

"I really wish to know what's going on between those two" then gave Marion  the baby "Hold her for a moment, I'll get her milk."

"Hey" Marion said to the baby, then sat slowly on the chair, holding her gently. "I wonder what are your parents up to. I'm sorry in advance if it was because of me. I'm Marion, your worst nightmare."

"Marion, don't scare her" Adelaide said from the kitchen.

"Yes, ma'am."

Marion told her mother about everything about her travel to the village when she came back and started to feed the baby with a bottle. She told her about Lucy and about Luke.

"Well, your room is free, you should bring him now. Go, we'll be here."

"I'll text him as Grace said" Marion texted Luke, who replied with "I'll go there."

She waited outside to look for any dangers, until she spotted him, as he went towards her.

Luke felt something different about her, he couldn't put a finger, but there was something indeed. He entered the small house and greeted Grace's mom.

"Sorry for the intrusion, ma'am."

"Don't worry, I'm up at this time, lately." then looked at Marion "Marion, let him sleep in your room and you can sleep in mine, if you want"

"I'm not letting you sleep down here with that baby."

"First, I never said I was sleeping down here. Second, it's not a suggestion, it's an order." Adelaide arched an eyebrow at her.

Marion could almost jump out of excitement with this woman. Why I didn't meet her sooner? Fuck you, Grace. She started to take Luke's bag up when the boy held her shirt "What's going on?"

"You're Marion" Luke said while his eyes were literally glittering when being in front of her.

"Hello, Poirot" she smiled at him. It was definitely a good night. Fine. Thank you, Grace. The alter took Luke to Grace's room "Well, it's yours for the night or however long we are going to be here. Have a good night, kid" she patted his back and left downstairs.

She took a look at the blonde woman cradling the baby and frowned "You sure you're good with me sleeping with you?"

Adelaide looked at her "Look, I'm not going to really force you into anything, I just don't want you to feel lonely."

"Okay" Marion nodded and followed the woman upstairs, they put the baby to sleep, and slept.

There's no place like home.

[griseldagimpel]

Toss up between The Red Pony and Huckleberry Finn.

With the first one, it's possible I just read it at the wrong time and/or had it taught to me badly, but I found it dreadfully boring. (And I was the kid who usually loved the reading assignments.)

Huckleberry Finn was one I had previously read on my own and had had trouble comprehending the dialect it was written in. Then we were assigned it as summer reading - we had like zero teacher guidance for the actual reading of that one - and I had to reread it since I didn't remember it well enough to pass a test on it. Other than my petty annoyances there, I hated that the last portion is completely jarring tonally, but we were expected to regard it as, like, a perfect piece if literature. Yeah, my teacher was seriously disregarding the warning at the front.

Honorary mention goes to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, first for being a massive disappointment. I was inevitably spoiled for the ending, and the book stakes so much on the ending being a shock. Not really the book's fault, but it was still a letdown. I also vaguely want to say that we were expected by the teacher to take Jekyll's view of morality - that everyone secretly wants to do evil things - as Unquestionably True, which was irritating.

To be fair to my teachers, I do remember how difficult it was for them to get much of the class to read/analyze/appreciate any book, so I do get the impulse to insist on a single perspective, even if I disagreed.

(I was also the lone opinion in thinking that the readily available contraceptives in Brave New World were a good thing and that Aslan didn't represent Jesus in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. [Yes, I was wrong about the second one, but in my defense, I hadn't been raised Christian in terms of tenets/theology but had read a lot of fairy tales. And I do maintain that despite authorial intent, Aslan acts more like a member of the Fair Folk than Jesus.])

okay okay what's your least favourite 'classic' novel you ever read. i'm curious xx

[supremeuppityone]

Speed dating. In costumes.

  Klaroween Bingo Prompt: Speed dating. In costumes.        

         The Creature from the Black Lagoon impatiently tapped her curved claws against the small table where she waited for the cheesy ‘Find Your Boo’ speed dating event to begin. It really wasn’t her scene, but she decided it was time to stop pining over a certain dimpled asshat and put herself out there again. She’d begun working at Mikaelson Industries a year ago as a mid-level architect, and despite her laser-like focus on her career, she still managed to develop an inconvenient crush on one of the vice presidents.

           Klaus Mikaelson was an arrogant bastard with a penchant for intimidating subordinates whenever he felt they weren’t devoting their entire being into a project. He also was devilishly handsome with a sexy confidence that Caroline found appealing and irritating in equal measure. Her department was managed by a different vice president, so she only knew Klaus superficially. However, circumstances kept pushing them together — first there was the time he needed someone to review a construction schedule, then he asked her to accompany him on that site visit, and a myriad of other tasks that somehow all seemed to involve her expertise.

           Slowly she’d gotten to know him, had learned his little tells that others seemed oblivious to — like how his left dimple deepened more than his right if he was amused but trying to mask it behind his usual scary face. Or, how his brow furrows slightly when he’s fighting down a wave of disappointment — like the time his brother, Elijah, forgot his birthday. She’d recognized the signs that she was starting to fall for Klaus, and did her best to actively ignore this inconvenient crush, but last month, she finally couldn’t take it anymore and did something about it.

           The light was still on in Klaus’ office despite it being after seven on a Friday night. Taking a deep breath, she knocked softly on the doorframe, her heart fluttering in her chest when Klaus greeted her with a warm smile. “Hello, love. You’re here late.”

           “So are you,” she replied, gesturing to his loosened tie and messy curls as she stepped further into his office. “Looks like your Friday was as rough as mine.”

           Groaning good naturedly, he gestured toward her and replied, “Not all of us can look as stunning as you.” As though realizing what he said, his gray eyes widened, and he awkwardly coughed, suddenly finding the smoky glass top of his desk immensely interesting.

           Emboldened by his words, Caroline seized the moment with, “I always think you look great too. In fact, I was hoping you’d be interested in having dinner tonight. Like a date. With me.”

           His stunned silence was deafening in his office, and Caroline could feel her face flaming in embarrassment when she realized she must have really ready the signals wrong. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, she knew that whatever he said, no matter how polite, it would still really hurt. “I’m sorry, Caroline. I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

           Despite the genuine apology she heard in his voice, she could feel her heart sink in disappointment. Doing her best to smile, she kept her tone light as she nodded, “Of course. I understand. I apologize for being so unprofessional.” Backing out of his office with what little dignity she could muster, she mumbled, “I’ll let you get back to your work, then.”

           After a month of wallowing (and actively avoiding Klaus), Caroline decided enough was enough and she joined her friends for this 1930s horror movie-themed speed dating event. At the sound of Bela Lugosi’s iconic line, “I bid you welcome,” the game started, with an attractive, cocky jock-type sitting across from her in a hastily thrown together Wolf Man costume. It was the type her teenage self would squeal over, but as he droned on about himself without letting her get a word in edgewise, the allotted ten minutes seemed to stretch on for eternity.

           Finally, their date was over, but then she had to endure a bizarre brother duo dressed as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde who insisted they were a ‘package deal’. They seemed way more into each other than her, but at least they didn’t obsessively try to find the outline of her nipples in between the rows of scales on her costume like the Wolf Man kept doing.

           By this point, her smile had drifted into something more automatic and probably painful-looking, but when Karloff’s version of the Mummy sat down, she instantly perked up. “Are you a fan of Karloff’s work? When I was a kid, The Mummy was my favorite!”

           The man laughed, his voice a charming mix of playfulness with a hint of seduction. Noting that sexy accent, she realized she clearly had a type. “I was more a fan of his Frankenstein monster, but my mate called dibs, so I decided to be a gentleman about it. Actually, I preferred his work in 60s and 70s horror — Cauldron of Blood, Isle of the Snake People,” he trailed off, seeming to realize he hadn’t introduced himself yet. “I’m Enzo. And who might you be, gorgeous?”

           Shaking his hand, she answered, “I’m Caroline. Actually, they show old horror movies every Saturday at midnight in the old theater downtown. Have you been?”

           “I only recently moved to town,” he said, leaning a bit closer as he suggested, “perhaps you’d be interested in showing me around, gorgeous?”

           Feeling the first stirrings of excitement, Caroline started to answer when a familiar voice cut her off. “She’s busy, mate. In fact, consider her unavailable for the foreseeable future.” She looked up to see Klaus glaring at Enzo, his jaw twitching.

           “Seriously?! What the hell, Klaus,” she hissed, just as Lugosi’s voice alerted them to move onto the next date. Enzo got up reluctantly, impishly sweeping in to brush his lips across her cheek, telling her, “Once you get this sorted, feel free to give me a call, gorgeous.”

           Did Klaus just growl? What the hell is wrong with him? Caroline watched in disbelief as he glared at the next unfortunate suitor standing awkwardly by Caroline’s table until he finally shuffled away. “I’d prefer to whisk you off to somewhere considerably more private to discuss things, but I suspected you’d have some objections, love,” he explained.

           “How considerate,” she said icily. “Now, what the hell are you doing here?”

           Klaus let out a sigh, clearly uncomfortable at her scrutiny. “I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to speak with you ever since that night, but I couldn’t find the words and you ducked out of room any time you saw me, so I assumed you wouldn’t be willing to listen.” Frowning, he continued, “But then I overheard you telling Rebekah about attending her speed dating event, I knew I’d run out of time.”

           “Out of time for what,” she asked, perplexed by his manner. Was he nervous? She’d never seen him nervous.

           “To ask you out,” Klaus blurted, loud enough to turn heads at several tables nearby.

[lechet]

things i dont talk about a lot but really enjoy

steve rogers in general

steve rogers and buckys relationship (this does include platonic)

hannibal in doctor strange. loved to watch him but forgettable villian

benedict cumberbatch is hot as dr strange im sorry

bruce banner dealing with the hulk. people only liking bruce because he can hulk out. the angst. love that jekyll/hyde shit

yknow tryina think of it, but ive never seen antman??? dang

i havent seen wonder woman yet either and it kills me. i was going to go watch it w/ dad but then he got sick around the time wonder woman was in the theatres. the commercials came on for it one day at the house and the kids were like WHOS THAT and dad just blurted out thats wonder woman!! so he probably wouldve went to see it. very sad we couldnt make that happen before he died.

the dark elf villian and his right hand man in Thor 2? i really liked that. damn shame what happened with that. (side note thats about all i remember from thor 2)

but also mjolnir flying through dimensions trying to get back to thor in thor 2 was pretty great

thats it from thor 2 what a disappointment

thanos is a dumb fuckboy.

god dr freeze from batman is amazing

side-note telltales batman characters were the best

harvey dent? they got me to love harvey dent. how the fuck 

shippin that bruce/harvey harder than batman/joker

i was thinking of pamela ivy just now but all i could picture was Zyra from League of Legends

the only thing I’ve ever seen from gotham that i would watch the show for is penguin/riddler. everything else looks like trash. im so sorry. nothing looks good from it but i thoroughly enjoy watching oswald and edward if the show was nothing but two villians trying to have a fucked up relationship id watch it

yeah

[feadae]

@bliss-delight-jr Here are the song recs you requested! The list ended up being kinda comically long; way too long to put in a reply, so here it is (you asked for bops and jams and I added a bunch of bangers too bc I have a ton of bangers in my playlists and not many jams)

-“Topsy Turvy” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – movie and musical versions are both amazing, but the movie version is more of a consistent bop; the musical version is just a few clicks slower and is split in half by two numbers, which are both amazing, but don’t have the feel of a bop) -“Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Stirling – a freaking JAM and also a BANGER -“Thrift Shop” by Vitamin String Quartet – a JAM -“La Llorona” from Coco – not a bop, a jam, or a banger, but like, it’s so GOOD -“The Court of Miracles” from Hunchback – again, the movie and musical versions are both great, and I’ve actually been using the musical version to get me up and moving in the morning, but the movie version is WAY more of a bop in terms of tempo and general feel; in the musical, Clopin sort of relishes having caught Quasi and Phoebus and the song is a slower kind of menacing, but in the movie, Clopin revels in being about to kill the Boys and the song is fast and bouncy and lively and a bop -“I’m the One That’s Cool” by The Guild feat. Felicia Day – a banger if I’ve ever heard one -“96,000” from In the Heights – a bop -“Carnaval del Barrio” from In the Heights – a jam that becomes a bop that becomes a banger -“The Rocky Road to Dublin” by The High Kings – a BOP -“Facade” from Jekyll and Hyde – closest to bop? I judge the difference between bops, jams, and bangers by the kind of movements that I naturally make when I hear the songs, and I make “banger” movements when I listen to “Facade,” but there’s something in my brain that’s telling me it’s too lively to be a banger, so I don’t know. It’s good, regardless. -“Murder, Murder” from Jekyll and Hyde – now this is a banger, for sure. A musical theater banger. -“Joy of the Lord” from Hands on a Hardbody – first, that’s a hardbody TRUCK. Don’t get any ideas. And “Joy of the Lord” is kinda repetitive, but it’s such a bop; I love it -“Born in Laredo” from Hands on a Hardbody – somewhere between a jam and a banger; this is an angry ballad, and I’m LIVING for it -“Can’t Sleep Love” by Pentatonix – somewhere between a jam and a bop -“Tavern Song (Thai Mol Piyas)” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – now this one is only in the musical, but the chorus is such a bop! The verses are closer to a jam and the whole song is so good. Fun fact: it’s the only song in the whole show that includes a language that is not English, Latin, or French! -“Esmeralda” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – I’m so sorry that there’s so much Hunchback on here, but it’s Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz’s fault for writing such Damn Good Music, and I’m a little obsessed rn since I’m in the thing. But “Esmeralda” is the Act I finale and it’s a musical theater BANGER. I get CHILLS every time. -“Un Poco Loco” from Coco – a bop, pure and simple. It’s so cute. -“Istanbul” by They Might Be Giants – also a bop. Very catchy. Fun fact: the first time I heard this song it was a Barbershop cover on YouTube, and for a solid five years I didn’t understand that it was a cover and not an original, bc I’d never heard the original and I’d never heard of They Might Be Giants, so I figured it was the name of the quartet the guy singing it was in (it was one of those quartet-with-yourself things YouTube vocalists love but I digress). I also didn’t get the concept of YouTube cover artists arranging their own covers if they wanted to genre-bend, so I was v disappointed when I couldn’t find the sheet music for my own Barbershop quartet to sing at contest -“I See Fire” by Peter Hollens – a jam -“Help!” by The Beatles – a bop -“All for the Best” from Godspell – a very fun bop that plays on multiple meanings of the phrase “all for the best” and there are some pretty dang cute videos of high school productions of this one -“Alas for You” from Godspell – a BANGER. A righteous-anger BANGER. If I recall the plot of the show correctly, this is Jesus losing it in the temple that folks turned into a marketplace. -“Flip Flop and Fly” by Ellis Hall – the first place I heard this was in Chicken Run as a kid, and I don’t know if it was written specifically for the movie or not. All I know is that it’s a futzing BOP. -“Flintstones” by Jacob Collier – a BOP. -“What the Heck I Gotta Do” from 21 Chump Street – 21 Chump Street is a 15-minute mini-musical written & composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda, based on a true story, and “What the Heck I Gotta Do” is such a cute bop. -“Run, Freedom, Run!” from Urinetown – Yes that’s what the musical is called. It’s an Experience. “Run, Freedom, Run!” is a BOP, though. -“Cop Song” from Urinetown – A bop that becomes a banger -“Jet Set” from Catch Me If You Can – a BOP. Honestly this whole musical is so good. It’s a bit like Cheez-Its in that you kind of forget about it when you’ve got more interesting options available, but then you choose it and you’re like, “I forgot how good this was!” That’s Catch Me. And yes, it’s based on the Leo DiCaprio movie. -“Somebody’s Eyes” from Footloose: the Musical – I don’t really have strong feelings about this musical, but “Somebody’s Eyes” is fun. It’s a jam. -“Jolly Holiday” from Mary Poppins: the Musical – A bop. Mary Poppins the movie was my CHILDHOOD and I got really excited when I heard that it was a musical too, and I love the musical. They add huge chunks to the songs that aren’t in the movie, but they sound good and stand pretty well on their own. “Supercal” and “Step in Time” get honorable mentions, because I adore them both, but the musical versions don’t really fit into the bop/jam/banger categories. I 100% recommend watching a video of “Step in Time” though; the choreography is KILLER. -“We Go Together” by David Tennant and Catherine Tate – this is a bonus track on the soundtrack for the Much Ado About Nothing where David and Catherine were Benedick and Beatrice, and this song is such a cute bop that encapsulates the Beatrice/Benedick dynamic really well. It’s great and I kinda wanna see if I can convince a future boyfriend to sing it with me. -“Moon Goddess” by Jocelyn Hagen – this is a choir piece, and you wouldn’t expect a choir piece to be a banger, but “Moon Goddess” is a BANGER. Trust me. -“Godzilla Eats Las Vegas” by Eric Whitacre – it’s a concert band piece and I guess it could maybe be a banger but I really just want you to listen to it because it’s exactly what it sounds like and it’s HILARIOUS. -“Incantation and Dance” by John Barnes Chance – another concert band piece, and kinda long, but it’s a jam that becomes a banger, and it’s spoopy too; perfect for Halloween Season -“The Typewriter” by Leroy Anderson – a concert band piece where the primary soloist plays an Actual Literal Typewriter and it’s great. A bop. -“Livin’ It Up on Top” from Hadestown – a BOP. The musical is one of those concept-album musicals and it’s a Great-Depression-era retelling of the Orpheus and Euridice story and it’s GREAT. -“Way Down Hadestown” from Hadestown – also a bop -“Our Lady of the Underground” from Hadestown – Persephone gets to start Act II with a kickass solo and it’s a JAM. I adore it and I really wanna sing it for a hypothetical voice recital -“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” by The Offspring – a BANGER -“When You’re Evil” by Aurelio Voltaire – a JAM. A SPOOPY jam. -“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band – a bop and a banger all at once. I adore it. -“Down in New Orleans” from The Princess and the Frog – both the reprise and the original are such good bops, but I especially love the reprise because Anika Noni Rose’s voice is ANGELIC. -“Through Heaven’s Eyes” from The Prince of Egypt – I adore this whole soundtrack with my whole soul, but “Through Heaven’s Eyes” is the only song that really fits into a bop/jam/banger category, and that only barely. It’s a bop if you squint, but regardless it’s really good and I love it. -“The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland – a musical theater banger. The new Mad Hatter is a woman, and she’s a mezzo-soprano, so you know what that means: a jazzy introduction song where she gets to belt her heart out and it’s great. -“I Will Prevail” from Wonderland – the Mad Hatter’s other solo, also a banger, goes even harder than the first one, because It’s Act Two, Bitches, Shit’s Gettin’ Real -“I’ll Think of You” by Kurt Hugo Schneider – a cute little a capella bop. I definitely recommend watching the video on this one because the patty-cake thing the singers do while singing is really impressive and really cute. -“Oh, the Thinks You Can Think” from Seussical the Musical – listen this musical is so cute, and I’d love to play Gertrude McFuzz, because she’s so cute, but I’d ESPECIALLY love to play the Cat in the Hat, because he falls into the category of Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral, Spritely Character Where Gender Doesn’t Matter in Casting (others in this category include Puck from Midsummer, Ariel from The Tempest, and Clopin from Hunchback—all characters I want to play). And this song is the opening number and it’s a really fun bop. -“Tango: Maureen” from RENT – a jam. Makes me want to learn how to tango. -“La Vie Boheme” from RENT – a BANGER. -“The Road Goes On” from The Lord of the Rings: the Musical – YES, this is a real musical. YES, I’m as excited as you are. This song is a bop, through and through. -“Both Sides of the Coin” from The Mystery of Edwin Drood – a BOP. The whole musical is wonderful and I love it and you should listen to it (have the Wikipedia summary pulled up while you do; since it’s based on a book that never technically ends, since Dickens died before he could finish it, the musical is a solve-it-yourself with multiple endings, where the audience picks the ending every night) -“Be Good or Be Gone” from Pump Boys and Dinettes – somewhere between a bop and a banger -“Papaoutai” by Pentatonix feat. Lindsey Stirling – a bop -“Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive” by Bing Crosby feat. The Andrews Sisters – a cute little bop -“Hobbit Drinking Medley” by Peter Hollens feat. Hank Green – such a bop. So cute. I really like the video -“Independence!” from The Trail to Oregon – this is a StarKid one, and it’s so fun. A bop. -“Rogues Are We” from Holy Musical B@man! – more StarKid. Closer to a banger. Especially fun to sing along when you’re alone in the car and you can belt out all the notes in all the character voices with no one to give you a funny look for it *I was trying not to do this, but just anything by Celtic Woman. It’s all so good! -“Finnegan’s Wake” by The High Kings – such a BOP, good LORD. -“Way Ahead of My Time” from Taxi Cabaret – it’s a bop, and it’s sung by a gay caveman. That is all you need to know. (There are a bunch of really good professional versions but I found a high schooler called Wyatt Walberg on YouTube doing it for his school and his version is really good) -“Any Kind of Dead Person” from Ghost Quartet – a BOP. And another spoopy bop, no less. -“Alive” by Skipinnish – I don’t remember where I first heard this, and my brain is telling me there’s a distinct probability that either you or Sock recommended it to me (OH I think it’s in a playlist one of y’all made for CotIG), so if you already know about it, then this is a reminder to listen to it again, because isn’t it so good?! A bop. -“Danger On the Dance Floor” by The Cog is Dead – A BANGER. A TANGO. A GREAT STORY. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. -“Nicknackatory” by Mr. B, the Gentleman Rapper – so apparently gentleman rap (I think it’s called chap-hop, which makes me really happy) is an actual genre, and I love it with all my heart. This is hilarious. A bop.

So...yeah

[caasiturner]

Beauty and the Beast

My favorite Disney film all-time is Beauty and the Beast. This classic tale, one that is “as old as time”, has always fascinated me. In kindergarten, It was the first theater experience I had at the PAC. I can still remember the lights, songs, majesticness of the sets. Somehow, even at that young age, I found it to be the most realistic of relationships. Sorry to disappoint, but men are never Prince Charming. At some point, there will come a time they too “act out” and become monsters. Beauty and the Beast didn’t kid itself. It showed how two flawed individuals had to work together to create a love that would last, in spite of all the difficulties they each had to face. They didn’t simply move into “happily ever after”. They had to work to create it. As Belle stated “Here’s where she meets Prince Charming, but she won’t discover that it’s him ’til chapter three!”

In college, this photo was sent to me by a girl I was flirting with. We bonded over both loving this film and not much else. Unfortunately, we didn’t work out, but thankfully I still have this image.

“What if I showed you all my flaws when we first met, instead of showing you what you wanted to see? Would you still feel the same way about me?”

I know at first Beast (fun fact. his real name is Adam) is suppose to be bad, but the older I get the more I relate to the guy. We’re both angry. Incredibly angry. Burning passion and rage against our pasts. Chips on our shoulders from the cursed words and actions of others. A fervent undying fire against any that slight us or hurt us. Afraid to be close to anyone and insecure. Self-conscious over things beyond our control or who we really are. A deep longing or wanting to be loved. A hope for something more or better, yet all we see is an ugly in/exterior. Our mirrors only hold doom and we fear our time is running out for anything truly meaningful.

Unlike Beast, I can hide my monster-like nature. I put on my “Prince Charming” mask, suit up, and smile for the crowds. I can be whatever anyone wants me to be. Perfect gentleman. Wise-cracking douche-bag. An intellectual. A young Dean. Some people can’t imagine performing in front of people. I’ve been an actor from a young age. I’d be who I thought my step-dad wanted me to be. I’d try to be who I thought other kids would like. I’d attempt to be who I wanted my co-workers or people around might want. This attempt to produce a character has even spread to relationships.

My “Beast side” is not just negative attributes, but also what I don’t want people to see. The more sensitive side of me. The side that wants more than what this world and it’s kingdoms have to offer. The side that yearns for real. The side of me that enjoys what the world labels as “feminine”, cooking, cleaning, art and creativity. My “Beast” that I hide away in a castle is my broken past, shattered dreams, and lost hopes. That which resides in a tower is ugly, afraid of being let down yet again, and is broken. I wish for the world to only see the braggado side of me, that which yearns for adventure, an opportunity to impact people and culture, and that which is confident, happy, and going places. That’s the version of me I want people to meet at the door. Not the person I know I am underneath.

Sometimes I feel like I am really two people. Not in a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of way, but more like a King Aragorn. A man who wishes for peace on one side, but isn’t afraid the atrocities of war. Throughout his journey he battles against not only the Orcs of Sauron, but also rages against himself as he figures out who he wishes to be. His quest to end the evil Dark Lord’s reign is also an introspective journey.

“What if I showed you all my flaws when we first met, instead of showing you what you wanted to see? Would you still feel the same way about me?”

I’m assuming I am not the only one. I mean we live in the world where appearance and first impressions are king. Just look at Tinder. You literally look at a person and swipe to decide if you want to meet them. Instagram is just low level marketing, creating a character you want everyone to think you are. Facebook is just a curator of information you wish to share with people. We live in the digital age where online we can literally be anyone we wish. Grew up as a privileged white punk in Beverly Hills? Online you can be a Soundcloud rapper from the ghettos of Detroit if you wish. Why wouldn’t such thinking carry over into our everyday lives?

But this picture always gets me thinking. What if just once we were actually  ourselves? Not somebody we think people want to see. Just our actually flawed “Beast” versions of ourselves? Chiefly, why don’t we do that? What are we scared of? That Belle will run away? I know I am. I’m scared I’ll end up in a big empty house with nothing but material possessions to hold onto much like Beast.

Someone recently told me, “ It takes a while for your emotions to actually come through the walls that you have built to protect yourself. You [I, Isaac] ‘present’ yourself as almost detached and use humor to cover up how you’re really feeling.” This person went on to say how they view how I actually am, which is apparently completely different than who I pretend to be.

“What if I showed you all my flaws when we first met, instead of showing you what you wanted to see? Would you still feel the same way about me?”

Would this be better? Would it help weed out people I don’t need in my life? Would doomed relationships end prematurely and save me needless heartbreak? I would certainly be more authentic of a person. I would probably be happier. I wouldn’t live with a cloud over my head. I wouldn’t be angry as I feel I must constantly hide who I am.

To know something and to live it out are two different things. To have something apart of your nature, and to live are separate entities. To believe something and to allow it to dictate who you are are like yin and yang. As Rachel Dawes states in Batman Begins, “ It's not who we are but what we do that defines us.”

So that’s it. That’s my goal for 2019. In 2017 I was wearing a mask, trying to be whatever version of Prince Charming people wished to see. Thankfully in Spain I was forgiven. 2018 was the transformation. I awakened, like one from a deep slumber, saw who I really am, and began to understand the answer to why I am the way I am. I was transformed. 2019 I hope to make one of clarity.To know where to go from here. To dare to show people who I really am instead of what they wish to see. To embrace and accept the “Beast” side of me, but not let my negative attributes hinder my journey forward. 

“What if I showed you all my flaws when we first met, instead of showing you what you wanted to see? Would you still feel the same way about me?”

Everyone is currently making resolutions that are unattainable or they will tire of by week six of 2019. I have found it better to make goals. A resolution is something you must meet or else all was for nought. A goal is a shift in mindset and something you can meet even if you missed the standard. Resolutions are like trying to climb a mountain after waking up one morning and wanting to exercise. Goals are like stairs that lead to a better version of you.

So what is my goal for 2019?

To have “Belle” look into my eyes, look past all my flaws, look past the masks and charades, see who I really am and despite it all still say, “It is you!”

Much Love.