#i love you whoever makes the hot oil

[i-did-your-mother]

im so glad to work in the position i work in because at the end of every shift when im exhausted and hungry i get my shift meal. its always the best thing ive ever eaten

[almostempty]

Never made it as a wise man

(joel miller x f!reader)

Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.

Note: y’all are out here answering god’s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that. 

However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody asked– What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy? 

You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic? 

Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (my humble submission for @hellishjoel‘s hot dilf summer challenge) obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre

ao3: read here | masterlist: here | part 2 here | part 3 here

Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkin’ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, he’s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idk  

WC: 4.2k

You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joel’s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope he’ll be willing to accept your gift. 

Last week, he’d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joel’s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair would’ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasn’t worth arguing with him. He wouldn’t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him. 

At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to “One Last Breath” and “Lips of an Angel” at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that. 

That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories. 

The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach. 

You hadn’t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didn’t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there. 

Luckily, Ellie didn’t notice your eyes lingering on Joel’s body. You weren’t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed so… solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he can’t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked. 

Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzas–or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinners–instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe he’s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He can’t refuse it if you already made it, right? 

You pull up next to a truck, assuming it’s his, and that he’s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible. 

You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? It’s not like you’re trying to fuck your only (almost) friend’s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe there’s like a loophole or something if she’s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It can’t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you aren’t even his type anyway. 

After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if he’s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course! 

You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILF–Joel, you mean. It’s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life. 

The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you don’t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but there’s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that he’s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench. 

You aren’t trying to be sneaky. You didn’t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didn’t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is. 

The guy that’s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep. 

The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldn’t turn you on, right? 

You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything. 

You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench. 

Still, no Joel, however. 

You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. There’s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, it’s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls. 

As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back you’ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. It’s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.   

The next moment is a blur. 

“Shit, fuck, hold on!” Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone. 

You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. He’s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow. 

“What are you doing here?” he barks. 

Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run. 

He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but you’re faster. 

“Sorry,” you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joel’s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist. 

“Hey, wait,” he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, “I just didn’t hear you comin’. Wasn’t expecting you.” 

“Sorry,” you repeat, stuttering as you continue, “I-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.” You stare at the floor. Unsure why you’re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you. 

“All right,” he rumbles. You’re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face. 

But your brain starts to catch up. Joel might’ve snapped at you, but you’re the one that caught him in the act. You don’t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until you’re studying his crotch. 

Bingo. It’s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon? 

He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. “Was there somethin’ you needed?” He asks. 

“Yes.” You tell him you’ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead. 

Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. “You didn’t need to do all that,” he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal. 

You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. He’s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic. 

“I know, I know,” you reply, “but you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?” 

“All right, well, thanks,” he trails off. He doesn’t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but he’s not ushering you out the door. 

This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. There’s no way you’re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. You’re gonna go for it. 

You take a step towards him. “I wasn’t sure if it was really enough,” your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.

He knows you must’ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldn’t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroeger’s voice screaming, “This time I'm mistaken

For handin' you a heart worth breakin'” from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop. 

“You worked so hard,” you continued with one final step, and now you’re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. “There has to be something else I could do.” You’re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face. 

You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasn’t made any move to encourage you, but he hasn’t stopped you yet either, so you figure it’s worth taking a risk. 

“Maybe you’ve got a problem I could help you with.” You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans. 

Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a “What?” in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an “o” shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now you’re both locked into this position like statues. 

His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesn’t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately. 

“What are you doing?” His voice crackles like he hadn’t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock. 

“Let me help,” you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joel’s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts. 

Joel’s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm. 

“Jesus,” he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. “You wanna help?” He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. He’s trying to figure out what’s happening right now. 

“I do,” you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. He’s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core. 

He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock. 

They’re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel can’t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really can’t stop. 

“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he spits out, but it’s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and he’s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess.  You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one. 

“God, that’s so fucking hot,” you tell him. At the same time, he’s muttering curses at the sight of you. You’re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin. 

He’s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor. 

Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. It’s barbaric, and that delights you. 

Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as he’s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back. 

The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer. 

You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin. 

Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours. 

He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know it’s wrong that you can’t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief. 

He’s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldn’t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought. 

“Jesus Christ,” he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You don’t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.

“Really, fucking, hot.” You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point. 

“Fuck,” he stifles a groan. You’re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. “Oh, you do need my help. Hm?” 

You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. “Just desperate for me, aren’t ya?”

You snap your legs back shut with a glare. 

“No way,” you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, “you don’t get to laugh at me like I’m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.” 

His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You aren’t sure what kind of bear you’ve just, quite literally, poked. 

“But you are, aren’t you?” He challenges. “You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.” 

He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle. 

A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat. 

“Shh,” he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, “that’s better, hmm?” He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him. 

“You need more?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yeah, you do.” He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum. 

“You just need to be filled up, hm?” He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon. 

But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.

“Don’t you?” He asks like you could read his mind.

“Hm?” You hum absently. Empty headed. You’re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene. 

Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as you’re both half-dressed and panting in the other’s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision. 

“You wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.” 

“Yes,” you hiss as you hover at the edge. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna ride me like fuckin’ champ,” he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. He’s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway. 

“Shit,” he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers it’s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face. 

“Hey, wait,” he calls for you, but you’re on the move. 

“Let me know when I can pick up the baking dish,” you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joel’s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didn’t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didn’t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door. 

When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the worn fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if it’s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because you’re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose. 

Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What they’d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize. 

The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display. 

You send it off with no context, figuring it’s self-explanatory. It’s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen: 

Joel

Attachment 1 image

part 2 here | part 3 here

divider by @cyberangel-graphics

Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh

[guardevoir]

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @indrid-hot - thanks a bunch!

Favorite Color: A nice, warm, sunny orange - but also honestly most other colors of the rainbow and then some.

Currently Reading: The Tevinter Nights Dragon Age short story collection.

Last Song: L'appuntamento - Ornella Vanoni

Last Movie: Ah, gosh. HM. I haven't watched anything that's not a TV show in a while. I semi-voluntarily caught the last fifteen minutes of Scrooged over the winter holidays I guess?

Last Series: Last series I watched any part of is, as always, "Emergency!" because I will never not be stuck in 70's paramedic hell. If we're talking new-to-me shows, a friend's making me watch Grey's Anatomy (early seasons) once a week, probably because observing my growing despair about the characters' poor life choices is fun. I don't even normally watch medical shows, and yet here we are lol

Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Savory if I had to pick

Craving: Some good spaghetti with olive oil and obscene amounts of lightly toasted garlic.

Tea/Coffee: Yes please, lol

Currently working on: OH BOY WHAT A QUESTION.

Spinning: Gotland on my spindles (4-ply, one single per spindle, for funsies - except I accidentally mixed up which bits of fiber go with which single on which spindle, so that'll be fun to sort out...), 7oz/200g of red Merino on the wheel (for a crochet hat, followed by 9.5 oz of red and black Merino for a woven scarf). But also 24.5oz/700g of grey Merino. And cotton on the supported spindle. And I've got some laceweight viscose on the mini turkish spindle that I should really work on...

Crocheting: Half a dozen things, including a lacy collar that needs buttons and blocking, a gigantic star-shaped wrap-around shawl, an incredibly boring granny square top for my little sister, and too many others to count.

Art: The Emergency! tarot as the eternal never-ending WIP; I also have some Dragon Age Veilguard related plans revolving around the Grand Necropolis and irl Catacomb Saints and I'd love to get some DA-style tarot cards done for all my player characters.

Writing: I still have a couple unfinished fanfics that need another chapter, as well as two deeply self-indulgent OC/Emergency! crossovers that friends are making me write, and I also have some Dragon Age stuff in the works - though if anyone will ever see that is another question entirely.

Music: Practicing various stuff for LARP; also slowly chipping away at Hozier's Work Song because my partner asked nicely.

With no pressure, I will tag: @geminyde, @caseyscraftycorner, @swords-n-spindles, @alpacazappa, @rosesonneptune, @rose-of-pollux, @zooarchaeologyatdinner, @kalikatze aaaaand I can't decide on a 9th person to tag so whoever wants to do this: You're It!

[dumbgoondog]

Hi there! I was thinking of a weird scenario

How do you think the jjk men would react to their darling getting slapped by another man in front of them?? Like their darling got in a fight with someone and then boom they get hit in the face💀💀

Take Out Take Down(Part 1)

Cw/Tw - non specific discrimination, Violence, blood, and gore(Geto)

Ft. Gojo, Geto, Nanami, and Toji

GN!Reader, Short fic style, dating for about 5-6 months, reader isn’t helpless/it’s not specified, the first few paragraphs are the build up and context for everything else. Next up - Sukuna, Mahito, Choso, and Kenjaku

What was supposed to be a quick pick up was now an awful argument between you and whoever this guy was. You’d ordered food for pick up, coming from after some shopping with your man, he was waiting out front but here you were. The bag of getting cold food, blocked, by this Neanderthal of a man.

Why you might ask, why the hell was he blocking you? Because there’s no way this was your order, that’s clearly not your name either, and that’s too much food for someone like you. Was he fat shaming, assuming you’re poor, all of the above?

Then this guy has the audacity to after making his points continuously interrupt you every time you tried to say anything. “That’s my boyfriend’s na-“ and he starts talking about how this place doesn’t even have good food that it’s just full of posers who can’t appreciate real Japanese food. It takes everything in you to not laugh at that, because what the absolute fuck is he going on about?

So instead while he’s busy, yappin, you lean to reach around him for the bag. Besides your lover was probably getting curious what was taking so long and might come in! Rather than wanting a big fiasco in public you just grab it and are about to turn to go when.

SMACK.

SATORU GOJO

Your passenger Princess was wondering, what had to be taking so long? The app said it was ready for pickup, you’d been in there for almost 10 minutes now too! He’d already gone through the glove box and console so now with nothing else, Gojo would come wait with you!

He was half expecting that when he pushed those doors open you’d bump into him with the food, but not you having just been cracked across the face falling into a nearby table. His cursed energy cracked and spit like hot oil as he rushed to lift you up, your lip busted and nose bleeding. You’re pulled into his strong arms still having to blink coming back from shock.

Gojo on the other hand looks to the guy, takes his phone out and takes his photo. Dave or whatever his name is, tries to puff up his chest to not seem intimidated. Gojo however is just smiling, and tucks his phone away after snapping the pic with a laugh, “Dang, our food is all over the floor, guess I’ll order us some more yeah lovely? I’ll get your favorite!”

Dave scoffs, crossing his arms, and kicks one of the spilled boxes of food, “you must be the supposed boyfriend huh? Honestly really disgusting what this world is coming to, look at you two! Also you can’t take my photo without my consent that’s ille-“

“Zip it. You’re lucky I’m not handling you myself,” Gojo says, his voice smooth and even, “go ahead though, tell me how a photo is illegal versus you harassing and hitting someone.”

You look between the two swallowing, a hand touching at your tender lip and nose feeling the warm blood on your face. Gojo looks down to you with such a sorry look, you knew he’d be blaming himself for this for a while. Dave however doesn’t seem to know when to quit cause he starts marching forward to stick a hand to gojo’s chest- caught by infinity.

Gojo sighs, looking to the other man who’s so surprised his hand isn’t moving and his lip twitches annoyed. Then, Gojo starts walking forward, infinity pushing Dave back and holding him to the wall. Gojo keeps walking forward the pressure crushing Dave against the wall more and more, broken wheezes coming from his blubbering mouth.

“I like to think I’m pretty fair! I gave you a chance to run, told you off, and am letting the proper people handle you. All of this because they wanted to grab our food.” Gojo gives a laugh shaking his head brushing a hand through those beautiful white locks, “C’mmoooooon you’re not even worth my breath! What, you visiting to see a maid cafe? To go hound on Japanese teen girls like in your hentai? Get a life or die.”

Almost in a flash The world is squishing with reality bending, morphing like those bad Ai generated videos. Then you’re outside the doors to Gojo’s apartment, and he’s still carrying you. He looks down with such a big sad puppy dog look and starts kissing you all over whining, “my baaabbbyyyyy! Oohhh I’m so so sorryyy!!!! I promise that won’t ever happen again!”

SUGURU GETO

You know he doesn’t like leaving you alone where there are monkeys. You know he doesn’t like being left alone where there are monkeys. He’s a patient man, very patient, but only to a degree.

He moves pushes open the doors watching the initial crack to your face and then you start to fall. He’s there in an instant catching you, pulling you to him chest an arm wrapping around and hiding the offending man. He’s gently cupping your cheek offering such a sweet smile when the horrid sounds begin.

A sickening crunch, the scuttling of chitin against the floor and other surfaces, something like crunching into a juicy watermelon- the scream. Geto lifts you up, keeping an arm in way of your view of what was happening as he softly smiles asking, “My love, let’s just have Miguel or Larou make something hmm? Miguel just got an order in to make some ugali and beef wet fry. Then Larou is always looking to cook for us.”

You can see the blood starting to pool towards Geto’s feet, and a hand clawing at the tiles. The horrified shriek of the woman behind the counter as she runs into the back again, and the pained groans of the man. You felt sick to your stomach, your face hurts, but Geto still tried to hide the sight of his curses devouring the man.

You curl into his arms and he sighs rubbing your back kissing the top of your head, “There there, let’s get your face cleaned up hmm? Lover, I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

You both begin to move out, backs to the horror behind. You swallow, trying to calm yourself, you’ve seen the horror of being a sorcerer but still it gets you sometimes. Geto always is so sweet, you often forget that in the end he’s considered the worst jujustu terrorist for a reason…

KENTO NANAMI

He’s patient, calm, collected, and- okay he’s worried. Maybe he doesn’t show it often but he’s a bit clingy so when what should’ve been 5 minutes at most turned into a full 10 minutes he’s up.

He’s in that door looking like he’s not worried at all but the moment he sees you trying to catch yourself on the table after being hit? Another resounding CRACK with clattering echos in the restaurant. You jolt and jump up looking around just to see Nanami rolling his wrist and flexing his hand with a huff.

The guy who’d hit you, was now over the cashier counter knocked into the cups that were stacked by the coffee pots. Cups have fallen everywhere and he’s got a busted lip that’s already swollen and bruising hard. Nanami only has slightly red knuckles, he’s crouching, kneeling to you like a prince offering his hand, “Lover of mine, come here. We’re going to mine and I’m running you a bath. I’ll see if Shoko is available to heal you.”

You smile and take his hand, he’s pulling out a handkerchief and wiping at your face with such tenderness and concern. The guy behind the counter is fully knocked out, and girl working the register has no clue what to do other than sigh with defeat and grab a broom. Once standing Nanami takes out his wallet laying down a wad of bills apologizing, “sorry to have caused such a mess, I’m glad you’re alright miss.” With that you two leave.

TOJI FUSHIGURO

Toji is happy to wait in the car, have the hot food brought to him to be sat in his lap so he could snack on it as you drove them back to your place. Except, where were you, and where was the food? He wasn’t particularly paying attention to how long you’d taken but whatever.

He’s pulled down the mirror to pick at something in his teeth, when you open the door. “Heya babe, what took-“ he cuts himself off his brows pulling down when he sees the busted lip, the tears in your puffy eyes. He clicks his tongue and opens the door starting to get out, “one sec, be right back.”

His slippers slap against the pavement as he comes into the shop eyes lazily looking over the food scattered on the floor and the man who’d hit you talking off the ear of the girl behind the counter about how people can be so disrespectful these days to “culture”. He nods to himself looking about and walks slow to stand behind the guy, the girl’s eyes bugging out of her head seeing Toji and he gives her a charming smile. He leans forward putting a hand on the counter blocking on of the guys exits and starts to speak, “damn bud, you love hearin yourself talk huh? Hey sweetheart, this guy jus hit someone?”

The girl stutters while the guy turns around trying to shove Toji off and miserably failing. He’s just got his hands squeezing and shoving against Toji’s fat tits. Toji doesn’t even acknowledge him, still looking at the girl who finally nods.

“Aye atta girl, all I needed to know!” One swift motion, a crunch, a pathetic scream. You stare at the door hearing the scream only to see Toji walking out with a messy bag, he’s smiling at you so proud of himself. You sigh and start the car knowing you better get driving quick, he probably made that guy eat shit…

[surielstea]

Comfort by Candlelight

Based on this request.

Pairing: Lucien Vanserra x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lucien comforts Reader during her torturous cycle.

Warnings: Mentions of menstrual periods | descriptions of throwing up | heart wrenching fluff (I need this man badly)

2.5k words.

The ache in my body came in relentless waves, crashing harder into me after the last. I'd barely made it into my room before collapsing onto my bed, curling into a ball and burrowing into the cold pillows, seeking reprieve from the sharp twists in my abdomen as I tucked my legs to my chest and let out pitiful, quiet sniffles.

The knock on the door makes me groan, half of me wishes whoever it was would just go away. Of course, the door creaked open and I was met with a concerned-faced Lucien taking up the doorway with a steaming mug in his hands.

He paced to my bedside, setting the hot tea down on my nightstand. "I made your favorite blend— it's not as good as your brew but, I tried." He mumbles and I smile softly at my mate. His amber eye looks me over, his brows creasing as his concern grows for me.

"Also—" He fishes a small vial from his breast pocket, the clear liquid inside already making me grimace. His eyes softened at my reaction to the pain tonic. "I know you hate the taste but it'll take the edge off." He reassures, placing the vial beside my steaming tea. "So let's sit you up and you can wash it down with some tea yeah?" He says, standing upright and peering down at me.

Slowly, I nod and he moves to help guide me up, putting a pillow behind me as I lean back against the headboard. "Alright?" He asks cautiously and I nod again.

"You don't have to baby me, you know," I remark as he hands me the vial after unscrewing its cap.

"I know I don't have to," He says, grabbing my tea, keeping it warm with the fire at his fingertips. "But I want to." His gaze doesn't falter as he brushes a lock of hair behind my ear. "Now drink, and then you can have the tea." He croons, keeping my mug captive.

I huff a sigh as I bring the vial up to my lips, trying not to breathe in as I downed the oddly thick, syrupy medicine. I groan as I swallow it down and he was quick to bring the rim of the mug to my lips. I drank deeply, the perfectly tempered beverage spreading warmth throughout my entire body. I hum delightfully and take another sip, pulling my legs up to my chest.

"Good?" He asks tentatively and I nod, pulling the drink away.

"You might have to start making my tea all the time," I chirp as if it were a warning. He smiles softly, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of my head.

"Fine by me, just say the word and I'll do anything to make you feel better alright?" He murmurs into my hair, his calloused hand cupping my cheek gently.

He pulls away and I look up at him, tears brimming my eyes. His brows crease. "No, no baby what's wrong?" His hand on my cheek moves along my jaw, wiping the invisible tears beneath my eyes. "Nothing— you're just, so kind to me," I sniffle. He knew full well I was only acting like this because of the imbalance and swing of my hormones but it was still endearing to see me so torn up about his affection. "I don't deserve this," I murmur and his smile shifts into a frown, that, that he had a problem with.

"No." He said sternly. "No, my love you deserve everything good that there is." He reassures. "Now I'm going to draw you a bath, you stay here alright?" He said and I nodded, still sniffing.

Only a minute later he was returning to my side and guiding me into his arms, carrying me bridal style into our bathing chambers. He gave me the dignity of undressing myself while he poured my favorite oils and salts into the bath, stirring it with his hand, simultaneously warming it with the fire in his veins.

Once I was bare he guided me into the warm water, my muscles immediately soothing over at the change of temperature. I let out a soft sigh as I relaxed into the tub, leaning back and allowing the heat of the water to sink into my very bones.

"Are you trying to make me love you more?" I ask through a groan as he moves to lather an expensive-smelling soap along my bare skin.

"Is it working?" He asks with a sly tone, and there was that bantering, foxlike Lucien I loved.

"Maybe, keep going, and then I'll decide," I murmur, leaning into his touch, the familiar sensation of his rough, large hands being so delicate with me. "You know, I could get used to all this pampering," I add, voicing my every thought without any hesitation.

"Mm, good. I'm not going anywhere." He says as he finishes up washing me, not missing an inch.

I craned my neck back to look at him, peeking one eye open and finding his button-up white shirt rolled up at the forearms, but still damp at the edges nonetheless, yet he stared at me like he had no intention of changing until I was asleep.

"Go change, I want to soak for a few more minutes," I shoo him away, waving a dismissive hand.

"I'll be back to dry you off," He says, his tone falling back into that comforting, warm voice.

He shuffles out of the room, leaving the door cracked in case I need to call for him. I released a soft sigh, closed my eyes, and relaxed into the bath. Wincing slightly as a wave of pain shoots up my side. The pain tonic should kick in soon, and then hopefully I'll be able to sleep.

I rub at my eyes, exhaustion from my own body being at war with itself weighing on me with ceaseless pain. If the pain wasn't so intense I think I'd just sleep through the rest of the week.

Lucien came back in, as quiet as a cat on his feet, now changed and styled in only a pair of pajama pants. I admired the view of his bare torso in the candlelight— when I noticed the stack of clothes in his hands, as well as a towel draped over his broad, bare shoulder and a stack of more feminine products in his other hand.

"You want to dress yourself or do you need my help?" He asks as he places everything on the counter. I cringe slightly at the idea of him watching me secure my pad in my undergarments.

"I'll do it," I utter, standing from the tub and he rushes over to hand me the towel.

"Okay, I'll be just outside," He whispers, silently communicating that he didn't care what I asked him to do, and only wanted to help. I nod and take the towel from him, beginning to dry off as he leaves the bathing chamber yet again.

I move to where he had placed my clothes, noticing he had somehow selected my softest nightgown. I smiled and slipped the silky dress over my head, then put on a fresh pair of lined underwear. Once I was done I let my hair down and nearly laughed at the image of myself in the mirror. I looked horrendous, utterly terrifying. I combed my hands through my hair, attempting to create some semblance of being put together.

All the movement was beginning to make me queasy. My breath hitched as nausea began working its way up my stomach. I gripped the edge of the counter, taking a deep breath and hoping it'd fade but my body refused to lose this fight— and suddenly I was rushing towards the toilet with bile rising in my throat.

I hurled, the feeling burning my throat as tears sprang to my eyes. I didn't even hear the door open, or the rushed footsteps before Lucien's warm hand was guiding my hair away from my face and his other was rubbing soothing circles on my back.

I whimpered once the worst of it was over, my body aching as I gasped for air, wiping at my mouth and sniveling.

"I'm disgusting." I huff. "Why aren't you running for the hills by now?" I murmur, looking at my mate lazily.

"I've seen worse. Trust me, this doesn't crack the top thousand." He reassured and I let out a breathless laugh.

"Top thousand, hm? You must've led a very interesting life before you met me." I drawl, my voice weak due to the rawness of my throat.

"I don't remember much of a life before I met you." He said cheekily and I rolled my eyes.

"How can you tell me that when I've just puked half my lunch up?" I scowl.

"Because you're beautiful." He replies without missing a beat.

"Liar." I retort.

"Maybe, but it hasn't stopped me from sharing has it?" His smirk deepens.

"Pervert." I huff.

"I prefer 'Devoted Mate', but whatever you say." He continues and I frown at his insistence on being the best male I have ever met.

"I'm going to bite your face off," I warn, deciding my nausea was done wreaking havoc on my body and stumbling to my feet— which Lucien had guided me to.

"As long as you're not biting any other parts off, we're doing just fine." He jokes as I walk over to the sink, cupping my hands beneath the cool water and rinsing my mouth thoroughly.

"Careful," I cautioned while wiping my mouth. "Or I might reconsider." I smile, wrapping an arm around his bare torso and leaning on him for support as he takes us back over to the bed.

I flopped down onto the warm mattress, curling into the excessive amount of decorative pillows that I was too exhausted to throw off the side of the bed. "Oh, love," Lucien tuts, guiding me to readjust into a more comfortable position, then taking the time to remove the useless pillows from the bed. "Better?" He asks as he sits on the edge of the mattress, helping me pull the blankets higher up my body.

I nod softly. "Much better," I murmur and he smiles, his eyes flicking over to the spot he usually slept in.

"Do you want your own space tonight? I can sleep on the couch— or even the floor if you want me to." He offered after a moment of silence.

I nearly laughed. "I don't want you anywhere but right next to me," I say with a shake of my head and his shoulders slumped in relief.

"Oh good, I really did not want to sleep on the floor," He sighed while slipping into his side of the bed. I giggle, the sound turning into a groan as a piercing pain twists in my abdomen. The corners of his lips tug downward at my clear discomfort. The tonic should've begun working by now, but something told me I hurled that back up only moments ago.

"I wish there was more I could do for you." My mate said with a reassuring kiss to my temple while gathering me into his arms, pulling me into his chest, and encasing me in the scent of a crackling fire and sandalwood, the smell reminding me of being wrapped in a well wore leather coat on a crisp autumn morning.

"There is one thing you could do," I suggest slowly and he looked at me curiously, and even in the dim light I could see the devotion in his eye— the willingness to do anything I asked, silently pleading with me to just say the word.

I reach around to grab his hand that was resting on my ribs. I brought it around, guiding his palm and long fingers to cup over my lower stomach. "Mmkay, now warm it up," I mumble, his brows crease in confusion but he does as I say— and his hand feels like the first rays of the sun after a long winter.

I smile as my sharp pains ebb away from the heat, my muscles relaxing under his loving touch. "Am I just your personal heater?" He asks in a quiet voice, rubbing his thumb over the area of bare skin.

"A damned good one at that," I murmur while burrowing into his neck, craving the warmth there too. I kiss his bare collarbone, delighting in the sensation of his heated skin beneath my fingertips.

He pressed kisses to my hairline, so subtle I wouldn't have felt it if he were anyone else— but Lucien's kisses were different like each one was a piece of himself he was offering to me, heavy with the weight of his love. I pulled back from his shoulder to look up at him curiously.

"Thank you, Lucien," I whispered, my lips ghosting over his.

"Don't thank me." He shakes his head, his nose grazing mine slightly at the action. "Don't you ever thank me." He leaned closer, closing the distance between us. I melted into the feeling of his lips on mine, his hand on my abdomen growing slightly hotter as he got lost in my lips. I hum in amusement, pulling back and for a second I thought he might chase me back onto his mouth, but he remained still, staring at me with only reverence.

"I love you," I profess quietly, my hand coming up to cup his jaw, my thumb brushing over his cheekbone. "So much," I add, leaning in once more, chastely peppering kisses over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, where sun-kissed, freckled skin was.

He smiles beneath my soft kisses, his eyes shimmering with warmth and affection. "I love you too, more than words can ever express," he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. The sincerity in his gaze makes my heart swell, the ache in my body momentarily forgotten in the presence of his love.

As I pull back, I rest my forehead against his, letting the moment linger. The world outside seems to fade away, leaving just the two of us cocooned in our little sanctuary. "You're so good to me," I whisper, brushing my fingers through his tousled hair. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," He retorts, guiding my head back into the crook of his neck. “Rest now, you need it.” His hand soothed through my hair, detangling the ends silently, the quiet intimacy of it all making my stomach twist— this time, in a good way, similar to butterflies soaring.

“Goodnight Lu,” I murmur into his warm skin, pressing one last kiss to his neck. He didn’t reply, just continued to stroke my hair as I succumbed to the warmth of his affection, the darkness of night slowly wrapping around me— and he was the flickering candlelight that lulled me to sleep, my body finally finding rest as I meet a peaceful slumber.

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[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they’d react if you told them you’ve never dated anyone before

Headcanons about our baby girls :3 “Never dated” also refers to no romantic experience whatsoever. The Farmer is gender neutral, for Harvey’s it could be read as afab but I leave that up to your imagination

Content warning: mild nsfw

Sam:

-he doesn’t care because same LMFAO

-admittedly, he feels more comfortable with that piece of knowledge as he doesn’t feel as pressured to do everything right

-“wow, Farmer, really?! I wouldn’t have guessed, but me neither! B-but don’t worry, we will handle this together. This will be so much fun!”

-he’s excited to explore this new chapter of your life together…with lots of kissies

-can’t believe he is the first person to call you his’ and feels extremely flattered by it. He won’t shut up about it when he’s with Abi and Seb

-the smexy time with him will be a blast though. He’s maybe not the most skilled lover, but his enthusiasm makes up for all of it. He helps you relax and take it light. Be prepared for lots of praise and absent-minded filth coming from his mouth

Sebastian:

-homeboy really doesn’t give a shit tbh, he doesn’t even give you a big reaction

-we both know he hasn’t dated before either, but it’s nothing of his concern either

-“…ok, that’s cool…(?)” *proceeds playing games on his console”

-though you don’t have any reference points, he’s still trying to be the best boyfriend he can be for you because you deserve it (he won’t say that though)

-what can I say, he’s pretty indifferent 🤷🏼‍♀️

-about intimate business though…he has no clue what to do and wished at least you knew, but you both make it work. The first time is a bit too gentle, but that will change once you get the hang of it. It’s nerve-wrecking to him but he’s also excited to learn all these new things with you and make you feel good

Harvey:

-Harvey wouldn’t mind either way, he knows you’re an adult and that you can choose to live your life however you want to with whoever

-buuuut, unlike with the others, it makes him even more anxious that he is your first partner and wants to make everything right.

-“I’m not the most exciting guy, but I’ll try my best to make this relationship perfect for you, because you deserve nothing but the best.”

-His last relationship was years ago, so this feels new to him as well. He takes things slow with you, especially since he’s very shy and needs to ease into things as well. Everything being new to you makes him feel young again

-feels guilty for going further with you too as he doesn’t want to mess things up. He knows how painful and uncomfortable it can be and wants you to remember it fondly, peppering you with lots of kisses, soft touches, hand holding and prep work

-overall, he’s the best first boyfriend you could ever wish for. He’s caring, polite and cute :3

Elliott:

-ma man, ma boy, he has waited for this moment

-Elliott is a notorious romantic, of course he will take this opportunity to make your time with him the most special experience of your entire life

-“It will be a pleasure to show you the world through rose-coloured glasses, my love. *kisses your hand all so gently*. So you won’t ever forget that you are the light of my life, that you are loved.”

-not that he wouldn’t wanna do that if you had dated anyone before, but he goes along with things differently depending on your experience

-if you’re new to this, he will take it slow. The last he wants is to push you to do things you’re not comfortable with

-he’s a very romantic man, but that also encapsulates that he’s a very sexual man ( not in a creepy perv way of course, just very passionate about the whole gist of being intimate). But he waits with that for a LOOOONG time before he plans a romantic bedroom date with a hot bath, rose petals and body oils if he knows it’s your first relationship

-a lot of rom-com-esque adventures await you with this fine gentleman, and the build up to the big night will be worth the patience ;)

Shane:

-Quite frankly? He’s flustered the house lol

-I’m talking big rosy blush across his face and big eyes

-like, you chose HIM to be your first? Really?!

-he always thought highly of you, but now he has to reconsider how smart you could possibly be when you want him to be your first relationship

-“Uh, wow…a-and you’re sure you want to make this experience with me ?! Of all people?!”

-He has had many meaningless hookups in the past, but relationships….oof they weren’t that deep, and he never cared about any of them like he cares about you.

-He tries his best. He’s not an anxious mess like Harv, but he still watches how he behaves around you because he doesn’t want to break your spirit regarding relationships…he doesn’t want you to feel the way he has felt about love and trust

-though he had some hookups, it’s been A WHILE K, so he has major anxiety around your first time together. As much as he’d love to devour you, his anxiety makes him avoid it for the longest time. He wants nothing but the best for you, and he still doesn’t think highly of himself, not to mention his chub. But at some point, he is able to let his guard down as he knows you wouldn’t judge him for something like that ever.

Alex:

-ALEX, my precious…well yeah he is stoked ngl LOL

-he is a whole jock jerk but that’s all a facade, so this piece of information makes him a little less anxious but the more excited to give it his all to make this a one-of-a-kind experience to you

-“wait, REALLY?! That’s aweso- I mean, that’s interesting. I can consider myself a lucky guy to be your first boyfriend. You won’t ever regret it, I promise 😉” *dies on the inside and wants nothing but to scream in excitement*

-BUT it also boosts his ego through the roof. He can’t believe he is the guy that made you want to go the next step, especially as no one else made you want to have a relationship before him

-He’s nothing but a good old-fashioned lover boy. Man grew up with his grandparents, one of them being Evelyn (my precious granny), so he has some manners and knows how to treat a lady (if you’re not a lady, he will treat you like one regardless because that’s all he knows lol)

-I’m sorry but…man’s horny, and though he wants to take things slow for your sake, he will take the first opportunity to take you to bed with him let’s b real. He will be gentle with you and tries his best to make it “first time friendly”, but it is very hard for him as he has dreamed about this since the first time you’ve met.

[grievous-writes]

𝔹𝕆ℕ𝔻𝔼𝔻 𝔹𝕐 𝕊𝕀ℕ

Part One - Part Three

What happens to cherubs when they fall? There was already the damning example of God's golden Seraphim, where his fall from grace landed him upon the burning throne of Hell; to rule for all of time. A curse and, weirdly enough, a blessing. But you, a lone cherub sent on a nearly impossible quest? You landed smack dab in the middle of a courtroom in session; complete with a stunned jury and judge with burning eyes. 

Fandoms: HelluvaBoss & HazbinHotelPairing: Female Reader / Fallen Cherub / “Asteria” x SatanGenre: SPICY RomanceRating: Mature +18

Tropes: slow burn, forbidden love, forced proximity, size difference, enemies to lovers, age gap, hurt & comfort, “Who did this to you?”, touch her and 💀

CWs: really possessive behavior, mild yandere, ALL THE SPICE, blood and gore, mentions of death, swearing, hard smut, personally RIP christianity to shreds, mild blood play, toxic people and situations, violence violence VIOLENCE, p in v, power imbalance, light dubcon, CNC (Honestly, just expect so much more down the line cause this story will develop out of control eventually!)

Notes: Reader is female (she/her), multi chapters, LONG posts and very little editing cause I HATE editing. I don’t know how to do TAGS quite yet, but let me know if you want to be notified for each update~

ℙ𝔸ℝ𝕋 𝕀𝕀 - 𝔸ℕℂ𝕀𝔼ℕ𝕋 𝕂𝕀ℕ

𝕎𝕆ℝ𝔻 ℂ𝕆𝕌ℕ𝕋 - 𝟚𝟠𝟝𝟟

Story continues after the cut ...

The first thing you felt when waking was hot air filling your lungs. It didn't hurt, didn’t burn, but as gasping you could taste it. The first flavor was strong of sulfur, sour and bitter, and it was joined by the smells of burning fire and aged leather. Heaven’s air had no scent, no smell; pure and untouched by mortal sins. You weren’t sure you liked breathing this in, but you had little choice now. You made your choice. 

You blinked away the darkness over your eyes and slowly sat up, recognizing the second sensation upon awakening was a weight on your neck and limbs. Those limbs that were still too long and foreign to you. On your neck, wrists, and ankles were rough, blackened metal cuffs, leading to chains that disappeared into the even darker space around you. Holding up your restaurants, you tried to read the glowing red language imprinted onto the metal. 

You recognized it as an ancient demonic language. The carved runes were angry, a dialect you had not kept skills to speak over the years. Which made a full translation impossible. You did your best still and got the jist that these binds were to suppress divine magic; infernal or angelic. As you ran your far-to-many fingers over the red letters, with bony knuckles, a curious thought entered your mind.

Whoever made these bindings knew one of oldest languages across space in time, and masterfully used it in a clever way. The enchantments, while infernal in base nature, were as divine as any celestial dialect. The creator of the cuffs surely knew that both the angels of Heaven and demons Hell shared direct divine bloodlines. And whoever wore the language, unholy or Unholy, would be subjected to a control nearly unbreakable. Someone wanted to make sure you didn’t get free.

Thankfully you had no such intentions.

Looking around yourself, you noticed a thin veil just out of reach; moving like oil splashed over black water. And beyond that was a constantly swirling sphere of golden bands, all marked with the same ancient language bore on your restraints. Now these symbols you knew better, still many Myrs old but at least more common. One entire band was dedicated to focusing an invisible funnel, used to both drain and implant power surges into whoever was placed within the sphere. Another band passed overhead and you saw it was crafted for branding. Another for sealing. And the smallest ring, set directly under you was what you assumed was the release mechanism to dispel all the bands. And it could only be done so from the outside.

When you lived on Earth, you had seen mortals try to depict angels as humans with wings. And only two small eyes. All of that was horribly inaccurate, and there was a weird irony that it took you coming to Hell to see something more genuine; even if it was a prison rather than a person. 

You managed to stand, if barely, and wobbled from foot to foot like a fawn freshly born. You almost fell forward to land smack-dab on your face, but you blanched out by your arms … and by the wings on your back. They were similar to the set you had before with familiar colors cast over long feathers, but you were shocked at seeing the upper knuckle bone tipped with a sharp talon. Emily said that you might change shape, as you had before on your ventures to Earth, but nothing prepared you for how sharp some of your features were now. 

Staggering to the oil wall, like an obsidian bubble, you leaned into to study your features better. You were taller, lean, and yet heavy on your chest and hips. Your ankles and wrists were so narrow, with all your joints pulled apart in your new form. While you felt as gangley as a giraffe, you still understood yourself to be small. Short. Perhaps around five feet total in height. Your wings were massive compared to what you were used to, and your longer tail lashed behind you like a clock’s pendulum. Your scales were still prominent, as for your star markings, but as you noticed when falling … your face was flat. You instantly missed your snout.

You glared at the woman’s reflection, she glared right back at you. You stuck out your tongue and she did the same. You ran your fingers through long flowing hair and a sigh of relief came from you both. 

“Hello, me.” You smiled at yourself. “I don’t suppose you know who put us here?” 

Care to take a guess?

“Hm,” You frowned then and set your attention back out into the void outside of your bubble. “I’m going to assume … someone really old at bare minimum.” 

“You could just ask, Starlight.” Someone husky said out loud, the voice making your chest vibrate. 

That wasn’t you nor your reflection. Casting quick looks about you looked for the source of the voice. “I suppose I could. Would you answer me honestly if I did?” 

“Hmph!” The baritone scoffed and by the tone of the chuckle that followed, you knew who this was. The red dragon. “You have a lot of nerve to ask a judge if they would lie.”

You held a firm stare out of the darkness. “A judge is only as good as those who challenge him. If he’s presented with falsehoods, he should do all in power to get to the truth. Lying would be beneath him.” 

The voice growled. “You presume a lot, for a prisoner.” 

You blinked. “My judge and jailer.” 

“Seems like you answered your own question.” With a wave of his massive hand, the darkness was swiped back by the very large crimson fellow from before. 

The dragon was taller than any being you had met in many millennia, and imminently wide with stacked muscles that could topple an entire building of the wanted. His own large wingspan loomed up and behind him, and a spade-tipped tail curled around the base of his dark wood chair. Four golden eyes that seemed to glow with hellfire beamed down at you, and an amused sneer stretched along his muzzle. 

You weren’t sure what to do, frozen in place, which seemed to amuse the man. He leaned down slowly, his words even more so and hotter than his gaze. “Hello, little star.” 

You swallowed but found your throat dry. “Greetings, My Lord.” 

“Lord?” He raised his left brows. “You know who I am then?” 

“I .. I’m not sure.” You said truthfully and dared to take your gaze of the demon to quickly look about the room for hints. 

Your sphere of golden bands was put in the middle of an ostentatious office - Black floors and Deep crimson walls. There was a scattering of dark furniture with heavy gothic motifs set before an impossibly large desk, all cast in a red light by a huge window behind it all. It was scary, haunting, and you found yourself lost to the silent power of the room … until you saw a very large, almost comically out of place bench press and its collection of weighty disks. 

“But it’s safer to be-be respectful,” You looked back at him and saw that his smirk had grown. “Is it not?” 

“Ass kissing will only get you so far in my court, starlight.” He huffed. “Even if the defendant is naive and cute.” 

“I'm far from naive.” You frowned. Naive and cute was not a good combo and the insinuation made your stomach knot.

“Hm, we’ll see soon enough.” The judge challenged you and as he stood from his chair, the dragon held aloft his and magically raised your prison from the floor to float in the air. Still unstable on your feet, you yelped and fell on your back; which drew another chuckle from the judge. “Once Lucifer wakes the hell up, we can get on with this little intrigue.”

You struggled to stand but did manage to sit up, brushing back some of your loose hair out of your face. “He’s not awake?”

“Not yet.” He said firmly and folded his large claws on the desk; his yellow talons clicking a nameless rhythm. “Care to take a guess how long the bastards been sleeping?” 

“A day?” You guessed which earned you a glare.

“Try a week. Give or take a few hours.” He tilted his head and his horns cast a shadow over your prison. “Same as you. I’m guessing that one falling angel trying to stop another ends up with both down-and-out for a while.”

You struggled to stand once more but thankfully found your knees sturdier this time. “But he’s alright? Just asleep?” 

“For now. If he doesn't ever wake up though then you’ve got more than my judgment to face.” The dragon drew his folded hands to his chin, resting there with an disinterested look in his four eyes. He scoffed. “And while I don’t like sharing punishments of that caliber, it’s a nuisance I have to deal with.”

“Meaning?” 

“Things change quickly in hell, little one. You’ll learn that soon enough.” 

Perhaps you were a bit naive, curious by nature and set on a mission to learn all you could. So you promoted another question with a small smile; which drew an irritated snarl from the judge. “Or you could explain it to me? I’ve never been, erm, in this type of situation before.”

“Clearly.”

“And w-we both seem to be here with nothing to do, other than talk to one another?” Your wings fluttered behind you to help the last bit of disorientation fade away. 

The dragon’s jaw clicked before he began to explain. 

“Fine. There is normally a trial by peers and a majority vote must be agreed upon before justly punishments are dispensed.” His gnarly smile bloomed once more of his red face; a shadow moving across his eyes, with a deeply, unsettling pleasure held in his expression. “And the majority does love to deal out justice. Slowly, painfully.”

“Are you going to do the same for me?” You felt your heart skip a beat as he settled that horrid pleasure on you. He took a pause to look you up and down and you felt your gut twist uncomfortably. 

But he broke and sighed wistfully. “Sadly, no.” He then rolled his four eyes and practically spat out every word that followed. “Our dear Princess Morningstar is adamant we start implementing due-fucking-processes after the shit-show that was the Ars Goetia trial. Makes judgments boring.”

The dragon lost interest for the moment and looked out the window, leaving you time to collect your thoughts. Your gaze moved to your form once more, to the bands buffering your magic, and you flexed your new fingers. You needed to get to Charlie as soon as you could, before heaven caught onto the plan, but there was no way you could escape the golden bands of the Judge before then. And no way he would release you a second before the trial. 

You needed more information, something to cling to for advantage. You began to look about the office once more, but found yourself still feeling the large man’s gaze set to you once more. Slowly you in turn stared back and both of you remained frozen for what felt like hours. 

He squinted. “You are a cherub.” 

You nodded.

“But you smell,” His nostrils flared. “Different.” 

“I am?” 

“You are. And you're too damn trusting. I can read you like an open book.” The great beast leaned down to your level once more and, even from within your bubble, you felt the heat of his heavy breathing. “Meanwhile, in this entire conversation, with all the endless questions and your blabbering, you’ve not figured me out.” 

“Did you want me to?”

He sighed. “Just start guessing, starlight. Before I get even more bored.” 

You focused back on the dragon’s features, quickly trying to make out anything of importance. His horns were limited, only four, but still ornate. He was red, gold, and wore black leather - None of that helped. He worked out, smelled of fire and musk, and you could see his paint burning away in the bright golden coals of his eyes. You followed his jaw, down to his thick neck and the bundling muscles, and paused on the center of his throat. 

Formed from overlapping scales and a hard hide, was a star. This dragon's mark was not as divided as your own stars, but still a star! You moved to the front of your bubble and pressed your tallon-tipped fingers to its surface; leaning upward to get a better look. 

The judge almost jerked his head back, but ultimately held his ground at your bold move. He smirked again. “Like what you see, darling?” 

“𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖉𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓.”

His eyes shot wide as you spoke in the dialect of your shared blood, the variant you actually knew, and he covered your small body with an intense yellow shine. 

“𝕬𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖆𝖓, 𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖑𝖊 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉 𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖞 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖔 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘.”

You met his unbreaking gaze and the air was freezing.

His voice was dangerously low. “How do you know that tongue, little cherub?” 

You smiled, unable to deny the flood of emotions rushing into your fractured soul. Even as afraid as you were, you had also never felt more safe in all existence. “Because it’s the language of my kin, and of those who came long before the Father called light into the dark. I was born from the explosion that cast the heavens upon your skin.”

There was a moment where Satan looked away, a worry flashing in his golden eyes, but then he came right back to you with steeled resolve. “This is impossible.” 

“No it’s not, Satanas.” You spoke his name in Greek and absentmindedly petted the bubble, just over where his star was sat.

This time Satan did yank his head back, upper lip curled in rage and confusion. 

“Elliniká?” He asked rhetorically but you affirmed with a nod. His long talons trapped on the desk again; quick stabs that threatened to splinter the wood if he hit any harder. “If there were a people who got close enough to the truth, it was the Greeks.” 

Your smile turned into a hesitant smirk. “I did it.”

Satan’s nostrils flared again and fangs bared. “Did what?” 

“I figured you out.” You giggled as he frowned with deflated realization. 

“Huh. Well, shit. So you did, starlight.” He huffed and flopped back into his chair; far away from you in your small prison. “Are you going to make me guess your name?” 

“Do you want to?”

“Don’t push your luck, missy.” Satan pointed a claw in your direction. “You’re still in deep trouble.”

“Not as much as I am with Heaven.” You sat down and tried to relax. “Believe me or not, but I’m safer here with you, bound as I am, then free at this current moment.” 

Stan raised a brow. “True. You did fall.”

“I did.” 

His sharp grin returned. “And that begs the question - What for?”

“Hm, for a number of reasons. I suppose if you want to know the full story,” You yawned, laid down, curled your legs to your chest, and folded your green wings over yourself as a makeshift blanket. “You’ll have to ask me in court.” 

Satan growled deep in his chest, but the sound only brought you a strange comfort and you closed your eyes.

Someone of your generation was alive, a bit moody and filled with rage, but very much alive and in power. It had been so long since you met anyone from those times, with only a handful or more remaining in the wider galaxy. Most were scattered into forgetfulness, and those still remaining were set aside for newer powers. It’s what made you the perfect tool for Emily. 

You didn’t so much sleep as you simply rested, your breathing slow and body comforted by your soft feathers. Outside your bubble you heard Satan move about. And a few times you peeked your eyes open, you saw him working on his massive bench press, burning used paperwork in a nearby garbage can, or speaking to a fluttering smaller devil who had a light inflection to their voice.

What you didn’t hear was the gears turning Stan’s head as he looked at you. You were so small, delicate, a fading broken star that had fallen from grace and into his preverbal lap. In many ways that Satan hated to admit, you were his kin. Familiar. Not family in the sense of blood relations, but of existence. However, in aspects that were maybe worse, you were different. Who and what you were complicated matters, and he felt a bittersweet annoyance burn in his chest thinking of how your punishment may not be as severe as he might’ve wanted a few hours ago. Satan was pissed but could do little to relieve the stress, other than lift more weights and work on his meditations.

PHEW! We made it to the end of part two! HIGH FIVE!! ✋✋

Not much to say here other then thanks for every like, comment, and reblog ❤️ they mean the world to me! 🫘Thank you, my lovely little beans 🫘

[monakisu]

rating oil paintings i did in high school based on their likability (to Me) ⊙▂⊙

light study 💡 - the earliest one out of all of these bcuz i technically painted it in middle school but then went back in HS to add the seagulls and boat so i could fit it into the theme of my AP art portfolio LMAOOO but still one of my favorites, which is sorta sad cuz it’s so old… 9/10

filial love - honestly didn’t care for this one very much because it was meant to just be more fodder for my AP portfolio but turns out my mom likes it a lot!! she says it reminds her of “the lion of judah ✝️” (whoever that is) so i was happy to give it to her! she displays it in her room so her fondness really carries this one’s rating: 10/10

play nice with your brother!! 🐻‍❄️ - i like this one a lot! because it’s one of the only paintings my hardass art teacher let me use neon colors on (or at least as neon as u can get with oil paint). usually he just paints over my colors to make them grayer. that guy… otherwise this one is just not very interesting. 8/10

koi pond 🎏 - PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT I MEAN when he paints over my stuff with gray!!! i was so excited to paint this one and added all sorts of flair that i like—pink dots as leaf highlights, super detailed colorful water—AND THEN HE JUST WENT AND SMEARED ALL MY DETAILS 💀💀💀 so i Hate this one and avoid looking at it as much as possible. 0/10 below it is a version from a diff angle that i did in an hour with shitty free acrylic verrryyy recently in college, and u can just see how i went ham on the colors right?! eugh. what could’ve been… 🪦

with heavy heart ❤️ - a pretty big old lady (18x24”). i feel obligated to like her because she won me the congressional competition for my district so i got to go to the capitol to see her framed there and briefly meet my stale white bread representative but HONESTLY all i can think about is how hideous my makeup was at the time and i get upset. 🙁 i do think this granny is very pretty though!! 7/10

my ocean blue 🪼 - this one im not sure if i like it or only tolerate it. i just wanted to paint a super colorful coral reef!! "🐠🪸🫧" you know?? but my mom and teacher said it Needed a message for ~intrigue~ so they brainstormed together (without me) and made me add this random ass child with a VR headset smack dab in the middle… something about cyberreality? IDK i just want her ass gone so badly. i also never got around to finishing the stripes on that fish in the front but nobody calls me out on it so it's whatever 🤷‍♂️ LOL 4/10

radial self portrait 🎯 - HUGE DEVIATION IN STYLE not only bcuz this one’s gouache instead of oil but also because i got to paint without an old man (art teacher) hovering over my shoulder!!! 😸 it was my first time painting something super stylized and i realized that painting can actually be Not Agonizing!!! 😸😸 this was at my summer camp where we had to come up with a radial pattern using a compass (i hate that little pointy shit) and then combine it with our self portrait. it’s me having a headache! i painted this in a single stressful sleepless night because i have HORRIFIC time management when i’m left alone so it’s pretty sloppy. also at the time i had those blonde e-girl bangs hahaha… i still like this one a lot!! i was just SO happy i didn't have to go photorealistic AND i could use my favorite colors (mainly hot pink)!!! 10/10 😸

overall my high school painting in experience was spent beefing with my art teacher and inhaling paint fumes. sort of miserable honestly -_-

[aces-to-apples]

The way that you talked about nobody in big parties wanting the special, made me wonder. If I'm feeling indifferent between the special and one of the regular dishes, is it kinder to the kitchen to get the special? Or does the big party matter because it's a bunch of orders together and you hope they spread out across kitchen stations, some special and some not.

Context for that complaint: I work in a small kitchen for a fancy retirement home, so there's just three cooks during dinner service. The fry cook handles anything deep fried and also most cooked veg, the sauté cook (me) handles proteins, salads, sandwiches, pastas, and anything that goes on the flat top, and whoever (usually the lead cook) works mid handles the batch-made special and keeping everyone on task and the tickets times low. While sauté and fry usually have plenty to do (especially sauté, who has the widest range of responsibilities), the ideal dinner service is one where people want to eat the daily special, because that's what's had the most effort put into it and it's held hot on the steam table for easy plating and selling of tickets.

The main complaint with big 8+ parties in these particular circumstances is that they don't often give orders ahead, so we can't prep extra of what they'll want or pre-make appetizers or anything cold to be served as soon as they sit down. We just have to wait for a big long ticket to print and hope it doesn't ground all of the other tickets to a halt. If none of them want specials but they order ahead, we can have the appetizers or cold food ready to hit the table and the proteins ready to hit the grill/oil/flat top as soon as the table is seated, losing little to no time on other tickets. If they don't order ahead but all (or almost all) want specials, then that's great too because that's literally what our set-up is optimized to accomplish: slinging out ticket after ticket of specials because all we (mostly mid) has to do is plate it all up and make sure we're keeping time on batch-cooking so nothing lingers too long or runs out in the middle of a ticket.

Basically, if there is a special, that's probably what the kitchen staff is hoping most people will order because it's been prepped for easy plating and selling. However, if you want something else, that's totally fine, assuming you're cool waiting a little bit longer for the real-time cooking to take place. If you're in a big party, of course eat what you want, but please allow yourself to be swayed by the siren song of the special. Because if nobody wants it, and everyone wants an appetizer and a protein and a bunch of random sides, and especially if the place is already crowded, then buckle in for a 40-plus minute ticket time.

This is all light-hearted of course, kitchens are meant for cooking after all and I am fundamentally a curmudgeon who loves complaining. At this point my coworkers expect me to say something bitchy every time we hear a ticket printing more than three orders lol.

[dottoresdirtyslut]

Please. Please just write some fics. Fuck c.ai and just write whatever you want to see. We want to see it too I promise. You can do so much better than c.ai.

IM TAKING YOUR ADVICE WHOEVER YOU ARE 🙏

Urbosa NSFW headcannons 💜 wlw

Gentle Dom. She's would mumble how amazing you are and how good you're doing while pounding you with a 10 inch strap

Nicknames : Sweetie, Sweetheart, Honey, beautiful, My sun (but like in Gerudo to make it romantic), if she's like kinda degrading you: my pretty little slut

She's very into you sucking her tits. Loves feeling your spit dripping down from her breasts down her midsection and onto the blankets below as you messily suck the nipples, trying to make them both fit in your mouth.

She used to keep her nails slightly trimmed even before meeting you since she's a warrior and long nails don't exactly help while training but after meeting you she keeps her nails very short. Not wanting to accidentally hurt you. Also takes off her many rings after it once accidentally slipped off while she was fingering you.

Once she starts fucking you she's not stopping untill you're a mindless drooling mess. She'll start by teasing you on the couch in her room, make you cum a few times while she pounds you on the bed you share before fingering you in the bath where she was supposed to give you aftercare

Loves both giving and receiving oral. very skilled with her tongue, no doubt she's had multiple partners before. Loves the way your small mouth and tongue licks through her folds or how you suck on her clit. Will make you go untill your mouth is hurting and her squirt is covering your whole face.

Urbosa mostly praises you but also has a slight sadistic side. She likes using punishments on you- spanking, tying you up. She would never go as far as to significantly hurt you though.

Has a whole box dedicated to toys. Loves using them on you but her favourite is fucking you with her strap on. I swear she pulls out the biggest dildos ever and expects you to take them with no arguing. She praises you the whole way through though so it's worth it 💜

Uses her lightning powers in electrostimulation. Loves watching you squirm as she uses the electricity to make you feel both pain and pleasure.

The chief doesn't make you keep quiet. Loves hearing your moans and is quite vocal herself. Let's just say the poor guards are traumatised

Urbosa loves when you acknowledge her status as a warrior and a chieftain. Especially when you call her stuff like: ma'am, chief, chieftain, lady Urbosa etc.

She also likes when you call her mommy. And if you have a mommy kink then she loves indulging in it.

Sometimes she just gets her blue lipstick from her makeup drawer, undresses you and just presses kisses all over your body, leaving you almost entirely blue (okay midna Cosplayer)

You end up with so many marks after, she's like a c.ai bot- Loves sucking and kissing your neck

Her aftercare is top notch. She speaks gentle words as she cleans you up. usually gives you a nice warm bath, washes your hair for you, rubs oils or Balm into your skin. Mostly does the clean up for you or gets the palace maids to clean the bed while she takes care of you after she ruined you. Makes sure you're hydrated and fed too, her speciality is Voltfruit tea so she'll often make it for you.

Likes it when you trace her abs, muscles or various scars when you two are laying back in bed. Urbosa doesn't say anything, just let's you touch her while she runs her hand through your hair.

Usually fucks you in your shared bedroom, but other places she enjoys are her private bathroom, goron hot springs, on one of vah nabooris ledges or inside the divine beast, sometimes you just get her going while on a date at the southern Oasis or some ruins she just has sex with you right here and there, even if you both end up covered in sand afterwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I LOVE HER SO MUCH AAHHHH MOTHER FUCK ME PLS I WANT HER INSIDE ME UGHHH-😫😫😫💜💜

[eepiebeepie]

RANDOM MIGUEL HCS

I have so many thoughts about this man you don't understanddddddd

~ HE CANT COOK Like he can but only when he's sleep deprived and zoned out. He'll make the best feast you've ever seen but if he's well rested and awake he can barely make pasta HE NEEDS TO BE POSESSED BY HIS ABUELITA TO COOK LIKE A GOD THEREFORE ONLY SLEEP DEPRIVED COOKING BC CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM SO FRUSTRATED WITH SLIGHRLY BURNT FOOD AND THEN ONE DAY HE WAKES UP TO ALL OF THIS BOMB ASS FOOD AND HES SO FED UP he's just like- come on and no matter how hard he tries he just can't replicate it because he tries measuring but sleep deprived Miguel measures with his soul so its not as good. The desserts in the Spider Society Cafeteria are all his abuelas recipes (he will never tell anyone that though. He's sworn the cook to secrecy)

~He always smells like grease and oil because in the spare time he has at work or when he's frustrated and needs a little distraction he works on little mechanic projects. No matter what cologne he wears (he always smells delicious) there's the underlying scent of car oil

~He's like a cat sometimes. A very large very heavy cat that insists on wrapping his arms around you and leaning on you while you cook for him he's not very aware of the fact that he's almost 300 pounds of pure muscle atop you

~Secretly likes being the little spoon because you make him feel safe

~Would rather suck a lemon than admit he likes the music you listen to (he hides his Spotify from you because his workout playlist is most of you songs)

~Loves letting you put eyeliner on him while you're getting ready for a date. He gets ready quickly and sometimes he gets impatient so you grab his chin and smudge some gel around his eyes. Much to your detriment it makes him look hotter and he stares at you all puppy in love while you put it on him.

~He always wants a lipstick stain of yours on his jaw. Always. He's a taken man and he hates people flirting with him, he just turns his jaw long enough for whoever to see. He will absolutely take you to sephora and hand you his card. You go through lipstick like water becaise of him(edited)

~He smells like car oil/grease, mexican hot chocolate and orange blossom fabuloso. always the orange blossom fabuloso bc hes a clean freak

~Has a soft spot for animals, especially bunnies. They're so soft and cuddly and he would rather die than admit he has a pet bunny because he'd be teased relentlessly

~Miguel is the type of man to drive like Dominic toretto taught him how to drive Ain't not a care in the world swerving and weaving. You're late? Hahaha no. You're there 5 minutes early with coffee in hand because ue drives like a bat out of hell You know he boutta pull up because you can hear his car 10 minutes before he actually shows up. Man got diabolical bass and subwoofers The house vibrating the road vibrating alladat man He pulls up with shades and one arm out the window like "cmon mami we got places to be"

~He can definitely do your hair. He knows how to use a curling iron, flat iron, blowouts all of it bc of Gabi. His hair is always so luscious because on god he has more hair products than you and he takes at least 15 minutes each morning making sure his hair is soft and perfectly styled. If youre going out hes for sure doing your hair "mami you look like a princess hold on let me do your hair."

[queenofallimagines]

Hi! This is literally my first time requesting anything ( I couldn’t see if your requests were closed or not but if they are please ignore this), but I would like to request daisuga x first year (black) reader please? :)

Also, I love your blog! It’s so hard to find people who make hcs for black people so when I found you I was sooo excited :) love you, and have a great day!

This has so much flavor anon ily🥹

Daisuga:

- this is the funniest relationship ever congratulations

- Bc not only are you dating two third years daichi is constantly tired of you and suga’s shenanigans

- Suga can run w the best of em I fear so daichi is left in the dark when y’all start acting goofy 😭

- “No bc I’m not about to let her shenan😒”

- “???? What?”

- “Daichi keep up🙄🙄Bc if you let ‘em shenan once best believe they gon shenanigan!”

- He’s stressed!!

- Suga is just as chaotic as noya and hinata so he can be the mom friend but in more of a wine aunt “get they ass!!” Type way

- And he’s very “if you do it imma do it too” so god help whoever starts shit w you be he’s got your follow up💀

- Daichi making sure you do your homework

- Constantly pestering you to sleep and heat healthy too

- Likes bringing you to vollyball practice buuuut highkey lowkey you a distraction

- Noya and Tanaka asking you how you managed to pull them both and also you’re just really chill to hang with

- Hinata and kageyama have huge little sibling energy even tho your in the same year

- Putting tsukishima in his place Lmaoo

- Y’all gossip buddies sorry don’t make the rules he’s the devil on your shoulder encouraging you to be meaner

- “Drag them👀”

- Plus you’re besties w asahi by proxy so you get along w the whole team

- Sticking up for asahi to stress out daichi more>>>

- “Leave that little guy alone!!”

- “LITTLE HES LIKE 6”2????”

- Sleeping over at sugas house and cuddling is like the best past time activity

- he has a bonnet you left there that he keeps when you come over

- we will NOT let you put in on yourself he will put in in you like a crown lmao

- daichi gets jealous bc he insists on doing it every time you guys sleep together

- will oil and braid your hair up for bed

- I feel like daichi is really good at helping with your hair

-if you get either of them a durag as a joke they will wear them seriously and not take them off

- Along with working out!

- Daichi will definitely not let you ogle him and suga as they workout so you’re gunna be sweating too

- Which suga will definitely pull a “let me help you get in the right position” to feel you up

- He’s definitely shameless about how attracted he is to you like he’s NOT ashamed to show that he’s with two hot people

- Daichi is more reserved to where PDA is just holding hands, head pats and cheek kisses

- Really makes it look like you guys are just really good friends but will say your his partner without hesitation

- Suga is going around parading how hot his two partners are and how he’s the luckiest guy in the world

- Planning your wedding as we speak tbh

- Daichi was trying to bite his tongue when two classmates were making jokes about how he’s a third wheel and suga and you will ditch him and start dating

- Like at first he was like lmao you have no idea

- But they’re were really trying to make him insecure

- To which he goes

- “ACTUALLY both of my partners make sure to spare equal amounts of their time with me”

- Like he will subtly flex his relationship if people want to act up

- Suga will show up to your classroom to collect you for lunch lmao

- Everyone is all shook bc this super pretty third year shows up and he’s the volleyball teams setter?

- And he’s like “I’m here to get you so we can eat lunch together💕”

- Lmao he will embarrass you by being so sweet

- Asahi praying for you tbh bc you have to put up w both of them at once

- Also hope you don’t have any classes w tsuki bc he will “go as your boyfriends” YOU TO DEATH!!

- “Hey kei can I borrow a pencil?”

- “You can’t go ask your boyfriends if they have one??”

[ya-zz]

okay, didn’t tell you i was coming in here so hi my love.

i did mention this idea to you a little though, i need some junkrat x reader but it’s reader introducing junkrat to their mom. (ana)

just some parental fluff please <3

thank you sweetheart :3

Hiiii, hello~

I hope this is what you were looking for

Junkrat x Reader (gen)

Word Count: 1337

You had been dating the junker for a few months, never a day went by that was the exact same as the other. He was something else entirely, definitely not someone you would’ve thought you would fall for given his looks or demeanour. Jamison was a little bit of a hot head, figuratively and literally, but you loved him all the same. 

He would do anything to make sure you were okay, he didn’t care about himself, as long as you were okay, that’s what mattered most to him. His hands were gentle when he held you, calloused fingers grazing against your cheeks, thumb on your lips when he was intimate.

Jamison would always smell burnt, even after the countless showers and baths he would share with you, but despite the smell, you had grown used to it. He was messy, but his workstation was always clean. His hands were always washed before he stroked your soft skin, oil and debris scraped from under his fingernails. 

But, there was the underlying issue; Jamison wasn’t exactly the man someone would take home to meet their partners parents. Now, your mom, Ana Amari, wasn’t judgemental, she lets you love whoever you want to love, but Jamison probably wasn’t the man she had in mind for you. 

Sooner or later, however, you’d have to let him meet her. 

It was a plan in the works. Get him washed, clean him up and begging for him to wear something presentable. It was a struggle, but he was committed to it. To you. 

…

…

“I need you to trust me.” You say to your mom. 

“Oh, sweetie, I do.” Ana starts, her hand holding yours before she reaches for her cup of tea on the coffee table. “If you love him and he treats you right, that’s all that matters. Not all junkers are a piece of crap.” 

“He’s just not… someone you’d think I’d fall for.” There was hesitation laced in your tone as you spoke. “But I love him regardless, no matter what you say or think.” 

The woman lets out a hearty chuckle. “My dear, you are worrying too much. Are you happy with him?” 

“Yes.”

“Do you feel safe with him.” 

You hesitate for a split second, hoping she doesn’t pick it up. “Yes.” 

Her eyebrow raises. “You hesitated.”

“Mom-” You sit up straight. “I feel safe with him.”

She nods her head, humming in response, though it was an uncertain hum. 

“Jamison has his moments, but that is irrelevant.” You try to reassure her. 

“Has he done anything to hurt you?” She asks. 

“No. Never.” You take a sip of your own tea. 

Ana nods her head again. “You would tell me if he does?” 

“Yes. You have my word, mom.” You smile, a genuine look that reassures her completely. 

“Alright.” She returns the smile. “Now, when do I get to meet this gentleman? I will cook for us all.” 

“How does tomorrow night sound?” You suggest.

“Tomorrow…” Ana looks through her calendar on the holopad. “Tomorrow is perfect. What does this junker like to eat?” 

…

…

You spoke to him that night, hand attempting to comb through his hair. “You’ll get to meet her tomorrow.” 

“I won’t lie to ya, I’m kinda nervous.” 

“You? Nervous?” You laugh, wiping away some dirt from under his eye. “Come on, she won’t hurt you.” 

“But she is the esteemed Ana Amari.” He leans into your touch. “And your mum too.” 

You laugh softly. “Regardless of her status, she’s looking forward to meeting you. She’s making your favourite food too.”

You saw the way his eyes lit up when you mentioned what Ana was cooking for him, it makes your heart flutter, the anxiety you were feeling dying down instantaneously. 

“Don’t worry so much. You’ll be fine. We have all day to make you look presentable.”

Jamison’s cheeks rise in heat as your thumb grazes over it. You plant a soft kiss into his lips as his hands pull you flush against his body. 

“One last night of fun before you completely ruin my good looks?” Jamison whispers against your lips, a smirk forming on his own. 

You let him push you down, lips crashing together. “You bet.” You gasp between breaths.

…

…

The day finally came, Jamison was washed and dressed, hair slicked back and the dead, burnt ends were cut. He looked… more or less presentable, at least more than before. 

“Are ya sure I look okay?” The junker asks, looking over himself once more in the mirror. He was wearing casual clothing, shirt and jeans, nothing too fancy or over complicated.

You pull the sweater over your head, smoothing the fabric over your torso. “You look perfect, love.” Approaching him, you wrap your arms around him, planting a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, we don’t want to keep her waiting.” 

The drive over there was tense, you could tell he was nervous. The way his leg bounced, the anxiety rising within him, you had never seen him like this. You place a hand on his thigh, thumb rubbing gently against the cloth. 

“You’ll be fine.” 

“I sure don’t feel fine.” He admits sheepishly. His eyes are vacant as he looks out of the window, watching the passing scenery. Jamison looked pale, body shaking slightly. 

It was hurting you, but the drive was almost over, you were nearly there. 

Once the car pulled up to the driveway, you take a moment to breathe, the nervousness rising within you. 

“Come on.” You say, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Think of the food.” 

His eyes softened as he nods. “I am pretty hungry.” A toothy grin and laugh escapes him as you laugh alongside the junker. 

Ana appears at the door the moment the pair of you stand on the porch, arms open and awaiting for you to hug her. You waste no time in doing so, feeling her warmth envelope you. 

“It’s good to see you.” She speaks, the familiar warmth in her voice. 

“You say that like you didn’t just see me yesterday.” You joke as you pull back. “Mom, this is Jamison.” You turn, opening your hand and gesturing over to your partner. 

The junker ruffles his hair before scratching the back of his neck. “G'day.”

“Please, come on in.” Ana gestures for the two of you to enter the house. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

You escort the junker to the sofa where Ana brings over some tea and a special drink for your partner. You nudge him. 

“Cheers!” His demeanour completely changes when he holds the cup of boba. The childishness that radiates from him makes you smile. 

“Figured it would make you feel at ease.” You admit, knowing that it was his favourite drink. 

Ana sits down on the sofa opposite the pair of you. “Your partner has spoken highly of you, Jamison. I’m glad to hear you’re treating them well.” 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course!” He looks over at you with a toothy grin on his face. “They mean the world to me. Wouldn’t change ‘em for anythin’.” 

“Stop.” Your cheeks flush. 

Ana lets out a soft chuckle, eyes creasing at the corners. She sees his genuine smile, the honesty in his voice as he speaks. As she sips her tea, she listens to the stories he tells her, the mischievous adventures he went on with you. Jamison was excited, the anxious nature finally dying down as he finally feels like he’s home. He has another parental figure in his life, one who he believes would help him when he needed it. 

“You really are happy.” Ana states, eventually standing from the sofa after an hour. She sees you nod, the same creases in the corner of your eyes. 

Jamison watches as Ana walks towards the kitchen. The next question she asks makes the junker giddy, his body warm with excitement and a sparkle in the otherwise crazed eyes.

“Now, who’s hungry from some Junkertown loaded burgers?”

—

KOFI

[mandiemegatron]

༺ 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚈𝚘𝚞 ༻

Shachi x cisfem!reader

A birthday treat for all the Shachi lovers out there! I love you, my main mans!! 💖💖💖💖💖

Rated: G

Reader has a huge crush on Shachi, the moment friends become lovers, Reader is a baker, sweet and soft!!

No beta for this, if you see any mistakes, no the fuck you didn't 🥰🥰🥰

ᴿᵉᵐⁱⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶠⁱᶜ ⁱˢ ʳᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᴳ, ᵐʸ ᵇˡᵒᵍ ⁱˢ ⁿᵒᵗ! ᴹᴰᴺᴵ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ˡᵃᵇᵉˡᵉᵈ ⁿˢᶠʷ, ʸᵒᵘ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵇˡᵒᶜᵏᵉᵈ ᵒⁿ ˢⁱᵍʰᵗ. ᵀʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ! ♡

The sweet smell of baked goods constantly floated through the Polar Tang ever since you joined, not that anyone's ever complained. Whoever said the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, they weren't lying - especially when it came to Shachi. 

It didn't take the redhead long to catch your attention, always happy to be the guinea pig for your goodies, which, in turn, caused you to spend the most time with him. It didn't bother you in the slightest. 

It got to the point where you would gush to Ikkaku every night as you both settled in your small, shared room, your best friend shaking her head every time with the reply of, “Just tell him!” 

“Absolutely NOT,” You'd snap back, horror flashing across your face before bursting into genuine laughter with her. 

One beautiful Sunday in April, the only place you would be found was in the kitchen. From the moment you woke til the sun set, you worked tirelessly on a new recipe you were praying would come to fruition. 

Taking a bite of your newest creation, you frowned after a few chews, giving a heavy sigh through your nose as you stared down at the pastry. 

“What's got you down, jelly bean?” 

You jump in surprise, turning around to see Shachi sitting at the island that separated the kitchen from the eating area. He had a playful frown on his face, almost in a mocking manner as he chuckled out, 

“Jeez girl! What's got your panties in a twist?” 

He snickers as you whip your small, half bitten donut ball at him, catching it in his hand before popping into his mouth as you reply, 

“I'm just… frustrated. I've been working on this for days and I just…. Can't figure out-” 

“What it's missing?” 

You huff at him with an unimpressed look at him cutting you off, though you nod slightly and continue, 

“It's getting me worked up, I won't lie. I just, ugh, I don't know.” 

You give a heavy shrug before leaning against the counter with your arms crossed, your head tilting back as you give an irritated glare to the metal ceiling. 

“... want some help?” 

Your head raises so you could stare at him instead, eyes flickering over his shaded face to find any indication of joking. You then gave another heavy sigh before nodding again, waving to your bowl of batter on the counter beside you. 

He quickly sat up and came around the island, humming and haa-ing to himself as he looked over everything on the counter. 

“Are you dead set on the vanilla?” 

You raise a curious eyebrow at him though he doesn't reply, instead grabbing a small vial of caramel extract, giving a small grin before opening the lid and tipping it into the batter. You stiffened at his actions, watching him with a hawk-eyed stare as he moved it into the batter before making a small ball and dropping it into the pot of oil on the stove. 

He carefully used the slotted spoon to turn the ball over, finally taking it out when it was golden brown. He spooned it into the bowl on the counter containing sugar and cinnamon, rolling it around for a few seconds before taking it out and holding it out to you. 

“Shachi, it's still hot! Put it down, you goof!” 

He laughed and shook his head slightly before taking a bite, his sharp teeth tearing into the donut ball easily. He hissed as steam immediately rose, his free hand coming up to rub at the tip of his nose before offering you the other piece. 

You cupped a hand under his, ready to catch the ball, but he didn't drop it, only holding it closer to your face with a slightly cheeky smirk. You rolled your eyes in return, a playful grin on your own lips as you took the rest of the ball into your mouth. 

You couldn't see it, but his eyes widened behind his shades, his breath catching in his throat as your tongue brushed against his fingers tips, lapping the cinnamon sugar off them gently. You haa-ed out the steam, quickly chewing the donut, and you couldn't stop the wide grin that overcame your face as the sweet tasted danced over your tastebuds. 

“Shachi! That was genius!” 

The redhead grinned in return, rubbing the back of his head with a shaky laugh before he replied,

“Ah, it was nothing. I just feel like I've watched you enough to know what would work well?” 

You rested a hand over your heart as you gave a soft, “Aww, Shachi…” before you pulled him into a tight hug. He clung to you in return, his heart pounding in his chest as your perfume fell over his senses. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to breathe you in as much as possible, etching the feel of your body against his into memory almost desperately. 

When you finally pulled away, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, grinning up at him as you commented, 

“I couldn't have done it without you. Thanks Shachi.” 

He couldn't reply, his words dying in his throat as the sound of his heart thudding descended him. He stared down at you near breathlessly, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as he leaned in slightly. 

Your cheeks burned at the movement, your eyes flickering from his shaded eyes to his lips a few times before you met him halfway, your eyes finally sliding shut as your lips met his. 

He pulled you right to him, chest to chest as one of his hands went to your hair, his palm cradling the back of your head as he deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against your lips, begging for entrance. You gave it with a soft, muffled moan, your fingers tightening around his boiler suit as if to keep him as close as possible. 

When you finally parted to breathe, you stared each other down before he finally broke the silence with, 

“... So, that totally means you're my girlfriend now, right?”

You blinked a few times before bursting into laughter, grinning up at him as you responded, 

“I guess so! I also guess this means it's your birthday gift.” 

He choked at that, his own cheeks burning as he jokingly moaned out, 

“Aww, you didn't get me a real gift?” 

You laughed and shook your head, one hand moving to cup his cheek as you brushed the tip of your nose against his lovingly as you joked back,

“You don't need anything. Just knowing you have me now should be more than enough!” 

Shachi pouted slightly before leaning in to press a few soft kisses to your lips, holding you to him again for a bit before finally letting you go. He gently pushed loose hair from your face behind your ear before asking, 

“Did you want me to help you with this?” 

You looked over your shoulder at your project for a moment before humming, turning back to him with a small grin as you commented, 

“Honestly, I think I'd have much more fun doing this with you. I'd love your help.”

He grins in response before peppering your face in a few sweet kisses, thanking whatever gods existed above that you loved him just as much as he loved you. 

“Best birthday ever,” he breathed, catching your lips in one more loving kiss. 

[neutrallyobsessed]

obviously u like topher x joan but how far does it really go? just curious cuz ur always making fanart and even fanfiction about them

Yeah, drawings, drabbles, edits, comics, collages, smut, videos, everything two dimensional I can manage! when I get a better computer with a good video editing software and a animation program it's all over for y'all~~♥!

I FUCKING SHIP IT WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡ww♡

What made you ship it?

I fell down the "this is a pretty funny ship" to "hol up this actually makes a lot of sense, this ship kinda fire" to "these motherfuckers have consumed my every thought and its GREAT!!!" pipeline xdd.

The more I thought about it, the better it sounded, the more ideas I had, EVERYTHING CLICKS SO PERFECTLY WTFFF

It do be like a sliding scale with me in the middle approving a het ship with Joan where sliding negative leads her with Confucius and sliding positive she ends up with Topher lolxd

What are your favorite things about the ship?

WHERE TO BEGIN!!!!! Well, they are terrible people and can always get worse, either doing shenanigans and bothering everyone in the process or just ignoring everyone to be in their own world~~

Age gap, people. It might be a technicallity but they do be 20 years apart and thats like, the best thing ever and the OW/YM strikes again so it's EVEN BETTER!!!!! And with their unconvencional tastes, they'd have A LOT of stuff to share and talk about and teach and learn and they could have so much fun with their niche lil hobbies and references that nobody but them could get and memes that could scar the average angloparlant for life!

And they both have this,,, love for nostalgia (not as apparent in topher, ill concede that its more of a hc) so reminiscing about the past or catching up with things they never lived could be so themmm and so fun to explore~~!!

To bring back something I said earlier, I also really dig the isolation of it all. How Joan feels betrayed by everyone but Topher is there to give her all the attention and devotion that she wants. I haven't decided if they'd finish school or drop off earlier but they do feel like a couple that could ride into the sunset to never be seen again as they build a new life for themselves~~.... it's just that after what happend, I don't see her going back to her old and new friends, but I totally see Topher manipulating all that he can to keep it that way, including Joan. They do be having some unhealthy clinginess towards each other and that's soooo damn good >w<

And yeah, I like Topher getting positive female attention, he looks cute when he likes girls and whoever said that they turned Joan into y/n was so right she really is very easy to project to x_v

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

That's the fun part! As the Queen of Joanpher, is everyone else the who may have an unpopular opinion, my word is law and the other 3 shippers are pretty much in similar Joanpher wavelengths. It is a very instinct ship, ya either get it or ya don't. I don't care and don't have to care bout what non shippers have to say btw 737

Joanpher tastes like: EVERYTHING!! I have eaten so many delicious foods, of many flavors and textures, and when it's Good I go uff si esto es muy joanpher =w=~ but if I had to pick one dish, it'd be The Brochette! Anything you can cook in a stick and directly on the fire cause it's hot as hell~♡! Any type of meat, any kind of vegetable, oil, sauce, sugar, salt, caramel, tender, crunchy, mushy, firm, literally all!! The most important part is that it must be eaten out of the metal stick, like gnawing meat out of the bone, cause it's both raw and wild plus ~elegant and sophisticated~

[borathae]

Chapter 22

oc definitely needs a wheelchair after her flabbers were gasted ♿♿

I didn’t even know that he could cook.” HE PUT THE KOOK IN COOKING I’ve seriously never seen him that productive before.” sex so good, boi got enough energy to complete his missions/side quests

“that dude’s so happy today.  Very suspicious when the emo is happy👀

“Le food is served”, he says in a fake French accent. DOES HE KNOW FRENCH??? what languages do they all know??

“No we didn’t!” you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time, haha they are so annoying like your besties and they just announced they did xd

“Was it fun?” Seokjin teases, making weird sex noises afterwards.FUCK OFF I LOVE U TOO MUCH

“I. Hate. You. Guys”, Jungkook whines, hitting them with the kitchen towel repeatedly. HES PROTECTING HER *sorry not sorry kook

“JK come back, we were only teasing!” oh no he went away, jack come back

He is carrying the biggest pout on his lips, kicking the air with his feet in a constant rhythm. FUCK GO KISS HIS POUT AWAY

DAMN HE IS THAT GOOD AFTER DECADES??

HIS GIGGLES SMILE AND LISP HIS CONFIDENCE AAAAAH Now, he wasn’t good at it, he winked with both eyes BYE IM ASCENDING TO UNICORNS, BUBBLES, GLITTER AND RAINBOW UNIVERSE

punching whoever pressed you against the wall straight across their face. this is a cool way to show she is learning from yoongi

FUK JIN TALKING WITH HER, IM SOOO WUWU OVER THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND BANTER i just love this whole thing you know?? the plot the writing, smut, description, smell, banter, emotions FUCK RVERYTHING AAAAH

woah whats going on? is it his weak arm? right arm hmm WOAH WTF huh did he run to his room?

2seok pls 😭😭 them completely ignoring her, like parents talking about their kid

“I was hoping you’d forget about it” hobi pls💀 jin is a menace for giving him the uncomfortable talk

yay guessed it was his uniform he was a pretty popular guy in his unit. He feared nothing, was well known for his strength and stamina on the battlefield and from what I heard he had perfect aim too.” damn soo cool oh shit being that good must have hurt when he got turned and felt all worthless/guilt

fuck thats so sad wtf, ok now did he for real lose all of the comrades or is there someone still left 👀👀()oh that would make sense why vampires would be there

wait i think im confused?? so enemies killed everyone, a ripper came and saved kook by feeding him blood and he would have survived as a human BUT THEN SNAPPED HIS NECK? WTF

yeah he definitely got the saddest origin story idk even know what to say, he would definitely get your ass if he knows he is a character written by you 😭

They won’t even notice it. You just need to be quiet i doubt that but ok

The curtains dance in the wind. It is not a beautiful dance, almost as if they wanted to escape the cold. But you can’t escape it, you have to face it in order to get to Jungkook.  yeah im marrying this paragraph

I still didn’t return to my parents, I still couldn’t kiss my darling goodbye, or pat my dog’s head one last time. No, for my family I died on that battlefield” shit he never saw them afterwards and now they are dead 😭😭😭

yall now dont fall from the rooftop. imagine dying cuz u kissed so hard u fell off the roof😭😭😭 DAMN HE TOOK US INSIDE THE ROOM WHILE KISSING SETTING NEXT LEVEL STANDARDS OOF

he knew how impossible such a request for a monster like him is, but now that he can hug you and kiss you he realises how stupid he was.  😭GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS

SHIT THAT TOOK A TURN that we all xpected but still got scared

“Don’t move away from me”, he orders, controlling your mind on instinct. fuck, all the progress just went down the drain (it didnt, but thats what he is going to think and go back to his shell😭)

It is not an unbearable burn, almost as if a little droplet of hot oil landed on your skin when you grill bacon. is her skin sensitive from horny and scared or is it actually "vampire saliva heat magic"?

fuck im so sad alexa play truth untold

oc definitely needs a wheelchair after her flabbers were gasted ♿♿

hahahah there are no lies in this statement ajfjdsf

I didn’t even know that he could cook.” HE PUT THE KOOK IN COOKING I’ve seriously never seen him that productive before.” sex so good, boi got enough energy to complete his missions/side quests

HE IS SO CUTE!! GOSH I love how he is so happy that he is just doing lil house stuff <3

“that dude’s so happy today.  Very suspicious when the emo is happy👀

no but I love the memes cause this was definitely them at Kook ahahha (in a fond way)

“Le food is served”, he says in a fake French accent. DOES HE KNOW FRENCH??? what languages do they all know??

OKAY I WANNA TELL YOU but it will be revealed. actually fuck it jfsadjf

Jungkook can speak Korean & English fluently

Hoseok can speak Korean & English fluently, he can speak German with a heavy accent and he knows a decent amount of Japanese

Seokjin can speak Korean, English & French fluently and knows enough German & Italian to get around

Yoongi can speak Korean & English like a native speaker, he knows almost every European language to different levels and knows a secret language I can't reveal yet for spoilers reasons

the others I won't reveal right now because of spoilers JFAJDSFJ

“No we didn’t!” you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time, haha they are so annoying like your besties and they just announced they did xd

LIKE THEY ARE SO OBVIOUS GAAAH

“Was it fun?” Seokjin teases, making weird sex noises afterwards.FUCK OFF I LOVE U TOO MUCH

I LOVE HIM HE IS SO CHAOTIC <§

“I. Hate. You. Guys”, Jungkook whines, hitting them with the kitchen towel repeatedly. HES PROTECTING HER *sorry not sorry kook

like it's so cute goshhshshsh :(

DAMN HE IS THAT GOOD AFTER DECADES??

LIKE HE IS JK OF COURSE HE IS <3

HIS GIGGLES SMILE AND LISP HIS CONFIDENCE AAAAAH Now, he wasn’t good at it, he winked with both eyes BYE IM ASCENDING TO UNICORNS, BUBBLES, GLITTER AND RAINBOW UNIVERSE

GAAH I forgot this part :( omfg I'm so SOFT for him 😭

punching whoever pressed you against the wall straight across their face. this is a cool way to show she is learning from yoongi

like she is actually so hot

FUK JIN TALKING WITH HER, IM SOOO WUWU OVER THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND BANTER i just love this whole thing you know?? the plot the writing, smut, description, smell, banter, emotions FUCK RVERYTHING AAAAH

gaah this is so great to hear thank youu 💜

woah whats going on? is it his weak arm? right arm hmm WOAH WTF huh did he run to his room?

HELLOOOOO

yay guessed it was his uniform he was a pretty popular guy in his unit. He feared nothing, was well known for his strength and stamina on the battlefield and from what I heard he had perfect aim too.” damn soo cool oh shit being that good must have hurt when he got turned and felt all worthless/guilt

I'm actually crying 😭😭😭

wait i think im confused?? so enemies killed everyone, a ripper came and saved kook by feeding him blood and he would have survived as a human BUT THEN SNAPPED HIS NECK? WTF

YES that is exactly what happened. like that Ripper was evil cause why did you do all that???

yeah he definitely got the saddest origin story idk even know what to say, he would definitely get your ass if he knows he is a character written by you 😭

yes yes 100% 😭😭 no but the more shit I put my characters through the dearer they are to me JFJADSJF I am evil like that apparentLY FJADSJF

The curtains dance in the wind. It is not a beautiful dance, almost as if they wanted to escape the cold. But you can’t escape it, you have to face it in order to get to Jungkook.  yeah im marrying this paragraph

heheheh thank youu 💜💜

I still didn’t return to my parents, I still couldn’t kiss my darling goodbye, or pat my dog’s head one last time. No, for my family I died on that battlefield” shit he never saw them afterwards and now they are dead 😭😭😭

LIKE I'M SO SAD 😭😭

yall now dont fall from the rooftop. imagine dying cuz u kissed so hard u fell off the roof😭😭😭 DAMN HE TOOK US INSIDE THE ROOM WHILE KISSING SETTING NEXT LEVEL STANDARDS OOF

he is so hot and romatnic and sweet and hto andnasf and nfads

he knew how impossible such a request for a monster like him is, but now that he can hug you and kiss you he realises how stupid he was.  😭GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS

I LOVE HIM I SAD BIG SAD

It is not an unbearable burn, almost as if a little droplet of hot oil landed on your skin when you grill bacon. is her skin sensitive from horny and scared or is it actually "vampire saliva heat magic"?

oooh good questionnn 👀