#i love you gale but that was SMTH

[alkibiadessuperfan]

some baldurs gate scenarios in my game just make me laugh way too hard. the other day my durge who is in a toxic relationship with gale right now had to switch shoes with him because he was stuck and needed to cast mist step (the shoes are magical) so I have this image in my mind of this durge drow woman tossing boots across an abyss because her boyfriend that she doesnt even like has bad knees and cannot jump another time. right after that gale threatened to break up with her because she kept licking a dead spider and she was just like: I dare you to break up with me but remember who is the one that had to switch shoes with me just half and hour ago. they are awful it‘s so funny.

[gift-of-prophecy]

people who complain about gale yapping too much don’t understand the sixth secret love language: infodumping

[aastarions]

[jojea]

GIVE IT UP FOR A NEW DAY OF THE WEEK!!!!! durge duesday……. 👁️👁️

[agardenintheshire]

goes to camp after a long day to rest

- gale eats a necklace after asking me for a magical item like i'm his mommy

- shadowheart and i talk abt her shar worshipping and she tells me she likes nightorchids and can't swim

- wyll gets visited by mizora and gets horns...didnt pick that answer when talking to him but man it is funny & hypocritical of him to be sooo anti raphael and then have a deal going on by himself...

- astarion tells me about his trauma w cazador :(

can't have shit in the wilderness

[ssvnormandie]

thinking abt wyll’s story before his total rewrite

[kittlyns]

Shadowheart wanted to make out with Tav so I think the wedding is back on!

[trevisos]

hi. how are we doing today boys

[ashi-cookie]

not to be a furry but i am playing totk while crying about revali

[arolesbianism]

Brute: ah yes I have finally gotten Softie to communicate with Queen and Alpha which has already done wonders for basically repairing the former and beginning the repairs for the latter. Maybe I can finally be free from this hell of my own creation and live with my loved ones happily -]

The evil and nefarious Beats:

[lixbf]

finding out that volo is a wizard and not a bard has changed me as a person

[brotherwtf]

Buck and Bucky getting secretly married after the war

getting all dressed up in their dress greens, looking so dapper and handsome. They insisted on getting them tailored to fit their bodies better since the war, restored them to their natural glory. It hugged Gale's waist perfectly, filled out nicely on John's shoulders, both of them looking like typical war bond posters.

it's a quiet ceremony, they can't legally get married so it's just John and Gale and maybe like two other witnesses (thinking Marge and her wife or smth like that, maybe John's sisters)

it's on their property, behind the house so nobody can see, in front of the water, no priest or anything of the sort

they would say a couple of words, Gale would mention how John helped him through so much of the war, kept him going, and honest to god he stayed alive just to see John's smile again, to hear his laugh. And this was the happiest he had felt since he saw him safe coming into the Stalag

John would talk about how much he fucking loves Gale, every smile every chuckle made his heart swell, every time he went up and came back down in one piece was one step closer to a life where they could live together happily. Even in the throes of his mental breakdown in the Stalag, Gale didn't give up on him. He vows to never give up on their love, now.

They don't do the whole "til death do us part thing", John presents his mother's wedding ring to Gale and Gale gives John his own mother's ring, they hook it onto each other's dog tags and press it to their hearts, a silent vow to keep them there forever.

They kiss, it's brief and short, but filled with an eternal promise to hold and cherish, to look after the other for as long as they live.

little did you guys know I cried while writing this

[randoimago]

May we have your take on Astarion, Gale, and Halsin falling for/interacting with an SO who is rather self conscious about having to use glasses (maybe they are near sighted or need them only to read?)?

S/O Self Conscious About Glasses

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Astarion, Gale, Halsin

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): I would love some glasses or goggle equipment in the game. Idk if there are any in like Act 3 or smth, but getting a steampunk aesthetic (or hot librarian) would be amazing in bg3

Astarion

Oh you poor thing, being self conscious about some lens over your eyes that can be removed. While Astarion lightly taunts you about your insecurities (there are more important things to be insecure about - like a tadpole in your head), he does tell you that your glasses are adorable.

If your insecurity is really that bad and he's really hurt your feelings with his taunts then Astarion does immediately feel bad. He apologizes deeply and would tell you that he used to have glasses too, if that makes you feel better. He was a magistrate and was stuck looking at papers and letters all day most of the time.

As penance for him making you upset, how about he compliments you whenever he sees you with glasses. Astarion is shameless in his compliments too. You might have to ask him to stop before you pass out from the blood rushing to your head.

Gale

You're self conscious of your glasses? But he finds them quite lovely! They give you a bit of an academic look to you. Sexy librarians are rather popular, you know!

Gale also has a pair of reading glasses somewhere that he can put on if you'd like. That way you both can be matching. Cute, non-problematic couples match, right?

With how much of a rarity glasses seem to be, he thinks they make you look unique and charming. Gale could go on and on about how he thinks your glasses look and why they're something to be proud of instead of having self conscious thoughts about. His reassurance just becomes a lecture that you probably end up falling asleep during.

Halsin

The first time Halsin sees the glasses, he has the most adoring look in his eyes as he sees you. He definitely thinks you look very cute with the glasses. He does notice that you don't seem to think the same.

And that's alright. He'll give you compliments and gladly let you know what your appearance with glasses does to him. You thought Astarion is shameless with his compliments? He doesn't even compete with the things Halsin says.

That said, he doesn't want to start making you too uncomfortable or flustered with his compliments. Just know that he does think you look amazing with or without glasses. They won't change a thing about how he feels.

Taglists: @reo-the-leo @unhelpfulnpc

[eggbagelz]

YOU ARE THE ONLY BITCH THAT GETS ME

gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me

[johnslittlespoon]

omg it was so hard to pick butttt could i request 1 and 2 from the smut dialogue list (list 3) with buck and bucky!

prompts | "i want to hear you beg" + "arch your back for me" + playing around with smth a little different for their dynamic <33 ~800 words of filth below the cut >:-) this was so much fun ahh thx sm for the request!!

“Oh, baby,” John rumbles appreciatively, sitting back to get a good look at Gale while he rolls his hips languidly into him. “Look at you.”

Golden hair frames Gale’s head on the pillow like a halo, blue eyes half hidden by heavy eyelids, doll–like lashes fluttering each time John sinks his cock in deeper. Messy love bites mark a trail south, scattered across his chest and stomach and increasing in numbers where angular hip bones and soft thighs had just begged for John’s teeth to make themselves at home.

Gale rocks his hips down, dragging his kiss–bitten bottom lip between his teeth to muffle a needy little noise as John’s eyes rake over him. That just won’t do.

John stills, wrapping firm hands around Gale’s thighs where they drape over his own, squeezing gently.

“Keep going,” Gale breathes out, eyebrows knit together in frustration, still trying to fuck himself on John’s cock.

John purrs out a laugh, heart twisting in his chest at the glare Gale shoots him; it’s hard to look intimidating when he’s laid out pliant and pretty and cock–drunk beneath him, but John doesn’t tell him so. He just snaps his hips forward once, watching with satisfaction when the scowl leaps off of Gale’s face as flushed lips fall open to let out a gasp.

“John,” Gale almost, almost whines when he makes no move to continue, lithe hands coming up to wrap around John’s wrists imploringly, and John hums thoughtfully, stroking his thumbs over Gale’s thighs.

“You need something?” He tilts his head, feeling a little thrill at the huff he gets in return.

Gale levels him with an unimpressed look, but the light flush that creeps over his cheeks betrays him.

“I want you to ask for it,” John murmurs. He grants Gale with the smallest roll of his hips to egg him on when he stays silent, and he feels his hands tighten around his wrists.

“Want you to fuck me, John.” 

And oh, that’s something– his cock twitches at the rare vulgarity, and judging by Gale’s sharp inhale, he feels it. But it’s not quite what John’s looking for.

“That’s good, baby,” he praises him, delighting in the way his flush deepens. He leans down, sliding his hands up Gale’s hips as he goes, settling them on his waist. He brushes his lips against Gale’s in a ghost of a kiss, trailing them along his jaw until he reaches his ear.

“But I wanna hear you beg for me, Gale,” he whispers. 

The immediate pressure around his cock as Gale reflexively clenches down has his head dropping into the crook of Gale’s neck momentarily, cursing under his breath. He can’t help but press his hips forward, needing just a bit of relief, sitting back up once he collects himself, determined to keep the upper hand.

“C’mon,” he rasps out, running his hands up and down Gale’s sides, fingers splaying over his ribcage. “I know you can do it, angel.”

Gale does whine this time, high and desperate in his throat, eyes slipping closed to hide from his own embarrassment. But–

“Please, John,” he says, barely above a whisper. “Need you.”

“Jesus, Gale,” John breathes, head spinning. “Good, so good, baby.”

John’s not going to push– that’s already a lot more than he’s usually able to goad out of Gale, and he’s going to unravel a lot quicker than he intends to if he keeps talking like that.

“Arch your back for me, pretty thing,” John prompts instead, beginning to shallowly fuck into him, and Gale does, tilting his head back on the pillow to bare his neck as his spine curves beneath John’s hands.

The sight nearly knocks the breath out of John, and he groans, sliding one hand under Gale to flatten his palm against the small of his back, feeling the way it flexes as he jerks his hips forward.

Gale cries out so sweetly when he really starts driving his cock into him, grasping desperately at John’s arms, face going slack as he finally gives him what he needs, and it gets to John like nothing else, forever dizzy with the knowledge that he gets to make Gale feel so good.

Dragging those pretty noises out of Gale and feeling him tremble because of him is what really does it for John every time, and it’s what inevitably has him tipping over the edge seconds after Gale spills over his stomach with a broken whimper.

John sinks his teeth into Gale’s collarbone just to feel him squirm beneath him as he fills him up, hands digging into his hips, rutting into him like he can bury his cock impossibly deeper, feeling nails scrabble at his back as the softest mewls escape Gale’s mouth.

He laves his tongue over the fresh indents in apology before lifting his head to capture Gale’s lips in a messy kiss, swallowing his gasps and sighs as he gives him a few more lazy thrusts, chest warm and fuzzy and lovestruck. 

John smiles into the kiss, and Gale laughs softly, and god, he’s going to be the death of him.

[mactiir]

ranking baldur's gate characters by how i think they smell

#9) Minthara. Because she’s a corpse, next question.

#8) Lae'zel. You know this woman has never bathed. Washing is for the weak, is'tik. She says this is because needs her musk to attract mates but mostly it's cuz Gith education doesn't exactly make time for personal hygiene. Once it got so bad that Tav dragged the whole party through a chest-deep stream and stood there for 20 minutes to take a "breather" while Laezel stared daggers at them the whole time.

#7) Karlach. I want Karlach to smell nice so badly, and Karlach probably wants Karlach to smell nice too, but you know this woman smells like brimstone and engine exhaust and sweat. On good days she smells like the fine char you get on burgers on a summer day. On bad days she smells like a truck stop at peak hours, and the truck stop is also on fire. She's not happy about this either.

#6) Gale. Gale tries to keep himself groomed, he really does. But he looks like he is perpetually just a tiny bit smelly. Like he hyperfocused on a book slightly too hard for slightly too long and as a result he forgot to shower for a week. He acts like he bedded Mystra because of his towering intellect but really it's cuz gods don't have human senses of smell. His nightshirt looks velvet, too, and you KNOW it can't be easy to get smells out of that shit without a washer. He is one of those poor guys who is cursed to always stink a little bit no matter how much he showers. When Tav confronts him about this he decides, on the spot, that deodorant is for anti-intellectuals, actually, which he wouldn't have expected Tav to know but it's okay, we can't all be enlightened.

#5) Minsc. He doesn't reek exactly, but you know he's 100% man musk, hamster bedding, and butt-kicking

Tied for #5) Jaheira. You know 100 years of living in forests and adventuring with Minsc has endowed her with exactly the same level of manly perfume as Minsc (except with notes of cedarwood).

#4) Wyll. He used to be the best-smelling until Mizora pulled him through every level of hell in rapid succession, and now he smells a little bit like brimstone all the time. He sometimes rubs fragrant herbs on his horns to counteract it, which doesn't get rid of the smell, really, but it gives his smell an interesting dimension. Otherwise, he has enough experience with adventuring, and is well-bred enough, that him and his things are usually well-groomed (and also because his dad was a freak about it).

#3) Shadowheart. This woman puts on tragic makeup every morning and changes her hair to reflect her religion. Appearances are EVERYTHING (especially when it comes to keeping secrets). Shadowheart smells exactly like she thinks she needs to smell to be religiously pleasing to her goddess and/or coMplEtE thE mIsSioN. She does get anxious sweats though, which are very distinctive if it's been a long day of adventuring. She never admits this, though. Ever.

#2) Astarion. Okay, so, sometimes, he smells just the teensiest, tiniest bit like dried blood. But mostly, he smells like baby powder and potpourri. It is a waste of good fashion sense and his pretty face to go about stinking like a beggar. (He does go through a brief 'Cazador can't tell ME what to do' phase where he stops bathing for a day, but he grosses himself out so much that he resumes his normal routime before anyone notices.)

#1) Halsin. You'd expect him to stink, with his whole smelly-hippy free-love vibe, but nah. The man smells heavenly. He spends all his time frolicking through fragrant herbs and lounging in scented hot springs with whomever strikes his fancy. He probably has a whole ass medicine cabinet full of stuff he uses to freshen up. His breath probably smells like mint and his hair like cedar. He probably puts coconut oil or smth in his hair. He knows how to smell good as literally any animal in the realms. Wanna know why? Dogs have a sense of smell several thousand times better than people. I bet bears do, too. You do Not Fuck As A Bear without understanding not only how to WASH your ass, but also perfume it. Halsin also knows: thou shalt not give yeast infections. And if you got bear dick, that means HYGIENE. It's a point of pride for him, actually.

BONUS: WITHERS. Withers smells like nothing. Like, freakishly, unsettlingly like nothing. Like, you expect him to smell like dust or pitch or smth. Nope. He's a black hole of smell. You come near him and if you ask, he resets your entire hygiene routine for 100 gold and leaves you smelling like roses.