#i love you all thank you for your patience again

[sorrowsofsilence]

the bet 2 • bad omens

pairing: all bad omens members x fem!reader

words: 11.4k • read part one here !

warnings: 18+, gang bang, voyeurism, fwb and lust, (penetration- pls wrap it b4 u tap it, male!masturbating, male!receiving, fem!receiving, swearing, nicknames: princess, pretty girl, good girl, slight choking), masks, jealousy, you are the bet.

summary: It's time for a new game. who can make you back out first?

note: i mean, there is plot, but this is straight-up filth lmao, i hope you enjoy . I'm so honoured everyone enjoyed part 1 enough to warrant a second one- thank you for the love and patience <3

Disclaimer: This is fiction. This is not real, and I do not know the boys. It is all made up, and I am not implying the boys act the way they do in my stories, in real life, or would do the things in my stories. this is all just for fun! it is fiction!

+

Looking over at Noah, he ran his fingers through the onyx strands with a nervous smile.

“A bet Noah? Really?”

He nodded, and then the bus door opened, revealing the other boys.

They cursed under their breath as you folded your arms, shaking your head in amusement.

“So who won?” You pried, eyes lingering on each of them for a moment.

“Definitely not fucking me,” Matt mumbled, annoyed.

“I don’t think any of us did,” Ruffilo spoke slowly, looking at each of his friends.

Rocking on your toes you chewed back a smile, “Then I bet I can make you do it all over again.”

+++++

Twisting and turning in your bunk that night, you found yourself unable to sleep as thoughts of the boys consumed your mind.

You were nothing more than a pawn in their game- a bet to be wagered.

But did you care?

No, you didn't. That was the strange part that kept you turning in your sheets as your head filled with their laughs, moans, and promises. You were a toy they played with, sure. But you were a game they all wanted to win, a prize they all openly desired; and really, you wanted them too.

Silence filled the bus, the only sound being the soft snores from the bunks around you. It was late and everyone had retreated to their own space after the revelation of the bet. Their faces had been a comical mix of shock and embarrassment when you had boldly challenged them.

Noah's stunned expression, his eyes wide and dark in the dim light of the bus as he stared at you in disbelief. Ruffilo's mouth had formed a small 'o', while Jolly let out a low whistle, his laughter echoing around the confined space. Matt had merely glared at them all before storming off.

Sitting up in your bunk, you ran your hand through your hair, your mind recalling each touch and each moment you shared with them. Jolly’s rough hands against your chin, Folio’s soft lips on your own, Ruffilo’s gentle caresses that sent shivers down along your limbs- and Noah’s unyielding desire that left you panting and lusting for more.

And Matt… Matt hadn't had his turn yet.

Your eyes flickered towards his bunk through the crack of your curtain. The darkness of the bus made it hard to see, but you knew he was there.

The thought of what could be had your heart racing, and your skin tingling with anticipation. You could imagine his strong hands on you, the roughness of his voice whispering your name into the night.

His touch was a mystery, one that ignited your curiosity more than you'd care to admit.

The two of you have always been close, ever since you met and got the job with the crew in the first place. You always thought he was attractive, but never imagined pushing the friendship boundary.

Until now.

His anger and frustration from not being involved in the bet left you chewing on your lip, and shaking your head as you stared up at the ceiling. Was he as invested in you as the others?

With a racing mind again, circling thoughts of what could happen next consumed you; until you heard a string of soft moans from the bunk across from yours.

Startled, you turned your head, listening intently. A whistle of low and hushed pants rang through the hallway as if the person responsible was desperately trying to suppress them.

But there was no mistaking it; those soft moans belonged to Matt.

His name was a whisper in the otherwise silent bus, your heart pounding as you listened to the muffled sounds coming from his bunk. Imagining what he could be doing to himself in the dark left you breathless, your mind fantasizing about touching him- the thrusting of his hips into your hand.

A flush of heat spread through your body at the thought and, before you knew it, you had slipped out of your bunk towards his.

You hesitated for a moment, uncertainty creeping into your mind. But then another moan echoed in the silence, and any doubts evaporated.

Swallowing nervously, you took a deep breath and reached out to pull the curtain of his bunk back slightly. You squinted through the dark, noticing how Matt was lying on his back, one hand hidden under the blanket which moved in an obvious rhythm.

His eyes were squeezed shut, sweat glistening on his forehead in the dim light, while his other hand gripped the edge of his bunk tightly as if trying to anchor himself to reality.

Another moan escaped his lips, and it took every ounce of your self-control not to pounce on him right there. But you were not here to just satisfy your desires; you wanted Matt – needed him – to admit he wanted you too.

“Matt,” Your voice was a whisper, barely audible above the hushed moans escaping from his lips. His eyes shot open at the sound of your voice, surprise and panic quickly replacing the pleasure on his face.

"H-hey, can I help you with something?" He coughed, trying to sound nonchalant even though his voice was strained. He quickly sat up, nervously glancing at your eyes.

You bit your lip, considering your answer. You could turn away right now, pretend you heard nothing, and let it become a secret between the two of you.

But there was a thrill in taking risks, a thrill that made your pulse quicken as you looked at him lying there, clearly aroused.

“No,” you replied, your voice steady even though your heart was hammering in your chest. “I just thought that maybe I could help you with something.”

His eyes grew wide for a split second before he swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. The blonde’s hand stilled under the blanket as he studied your face, trying to determine whether you were serious or not.

Instead, his eyebrows arched at your response, a curious look flashing across his face that quickly turned into understanding.

He reached out to pull you down onto his bunk and you complied with a small smile, sliding in next to him. The heat from his body radiated against your skin, making you shiver with anticipation. His hands danced along the curve of your waist before settling on your hips, pulling you closer.

“You sure?” He asked, his voice just as hushed as yours.

Matt’s ears rang with excitement. He had wanted anything crossing the boundary of friendship with you for the longest time. He had been in it for the long game- which was why it pissed him off that the boys made such a wager without him days ago.

As an answer, you reached out to touch the tent in his blanket, causing a soft gasp to leave his lips at the contact. You felt a rush of heady satisfaction at his sound, and you watched him directly as you nodded.

Your breath hitched at the feel of him hardened against your hand, catching a glimpse of his hooded eyes in the dim light, gaze burning with desire.

That's all it took for you to lose control—the sight of him looking at you that way, the feel of his hands greedily reaching down your waist to begin exploring your body.

In an instant, you were leaning down to kiss him, tasting the sweet desperation in his mouth as he returned your kiss with equal fervour.

His fingers entwined in your hair as the kiss deepened, eliciting a soft moan from your lips that he immediately swallowed.

Matt smiled into your mouth at your response, his touches becoming bolder as the hand on your waist squeezed down your thighs hungrily.

His hands were everywhere—running back up your back as you reached for his erection, gliding the tips of your fingers along his skin before wrapping a hand around him, moving in soft strokes.

"You're playing with fire," Matt murmured, breath hot against your ear.

"Maybe I want to get burned," you replied, taking his lip between your teeth with a teasing tug. His heart pounded harder against his chest, matching the rhythm of yours. God, he had wanted this for so long. And you knew it.

All he could do was groan in response, his body trembling under your touch when your hand began to rotate up and down. His body reacted to every touch, every moan and sigh serving as a testament to the need that built inside him.

You quickened your pace, twisting your wrist with every tug of his cock, reeling at the way his body bucked beneath yours. His fingers were digging into the small of your back as he fought for control.

But you wanted more — more of his sounds, more of his touch, more of him.

Matt tugged at your clothes in a silent plea as you took your fingers into your mouth, lubricating them before pumping him once again.

“Can I touch you?” He whispered through staggered breaths, his lips parted in a desperate pant as his hips rocked into your hand.

“Please,” you responded, shifting your body to lay flat beside him.

Matt watched with hooded eyes as he slipped his fingers between the waistband of your shorts, tugging at the thin fabric that held your desire.

His touch was surprisingly tender as he dipped his hand further, his large hand covering your entire arousal while his thumb brushed over the spot you needed most. An involuntary moan slipped through your lips, making him smile against your neck where he began placing soft but searing kisses.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed against your skin, voice rough with need.

You let out a gasping chuckle at his compliment, a string of whispered words tumbling from your lips, "I could say the same about you." His fingers tightened their grip, a sigh of appreciation escaping him.

Running your thumb across the tip, you smeared his precum along his skin, causing his hips to buck up again.

“Fuck,” he moaned as softly as he could, before sinking his fingers into your core, claiming you as his own with each curl of his knuckles.

A gasp escaped you as you pumped his body faster, allowing him to pleasure you, as you pleasured him.

“Matt,” you breathed out, fingers gripping his shirt for stability when he hit just the right spot.

He pressed harder against you, fingers moving in tantalizing circles that had you writhing beneath him. His name was choked out again and again as he brought you closer to the edge.

Everything was so intense, from his body against yours to the way he was working you with his hand. You could feel your climax building up inside of you and by the way his body tensed against yours; he was close too.

“Faster,” you gasped, pulling him closer with your free hand. His response was immediate, his fingers following your command while his other hand roamed up to cup your chest. The moan that escaped his lips was enough to tell you that he was enjoying this just as much as you were.

Your movements became more erratic, your grip on his erection tightening as you felt your climax building. Matt’s fingers kept moving at a relentless pace, pushing and pulling, sending shockwaves of lust coursing through your body.

His eyes were locked onto yours, watching every change in your expression as he brought you to the edge.

With one last thrust of his fingers and a firm stroke from your hand, you both fell over the edge, cries of pleasure filling the small confines of the bunk. Warm ropes of his cum spilled onto his chest and your hand as he shook beneath you, your legs vibrating from his fingers.

He slipped out of you, causing a whimper to escape your lips, which he caught with his mouth. You combed your fingers through his hair with your free hand, pulling him closer with each breath.

“Holy… shit…” He murmured against your skin, his husky voice filled with awe and satisfaction. You smiled softly, burying your face into his neck as you wrapped your arm around his waist. His heart pounded beneath your ear, matching the frantic beat of your own.

“It’s two in the goddamn morning,” You heard a bitter groan from across the bus.

You both froze, a moment that felt like an eternity, your hearts pounding in sync as your shared body heat radiated onto the threadbare sheets.

"Fuck off, Noah," Matt's voice was muffled against your hair, his designated place of refuge, “and go back to sleep.”

Noah was fuming from his bunk. He knew this was what he signed up for when he agreed to take part in the bet- but what if it was more than that?

How could he feel so angry at the thought of Matt making you cum, just as he did that afternoon?

Noah's frustration took shape in the form of a pillow being hurled in the direction of Matt's bunk, followed by a string of muttered curses that were swallowed by the hum of the bus engine. Noah rolled over, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to push away the images that had been imprinted onto his mind.

He tossed and turned on the thin mattress, huffing out a sigh. His mind went back to the look in your eyes when it was his fingers that had you writhing, your soft gasps echoing in his ears throughout the theatre.

And now, with the sounds of Matt’s husky voice whispering praises into your skin still lingering in the air, Noah felt betrayed.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bunk, Noah ran a hand through his messy hair as a surge of jealousy washed through him. His blood boiled as frustration clawed at him.

He decided, then and there, that he wouldn't let anyone win this bet easily.

If it was even a bet anymore.

He glanced over at Jolly's bunk then, an idea forming in his mind. Jolly had always been one who loved chaos- and Noah knew that this was just the kind of chaos Jolly would love to be a part of.

The brunette slipped out from his bunk and made his way over to where Jolly was sleeping, the snores from Ruffilo's and Folio's bunks providing a faint symphony of noise.

He shook Jolly awake, who mumbled a disgruntled curse before cracking an eye open. With a finger to his lips to keep him quiet, the guitarist slowly got up while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Noah told him about his idea and Jolly listened, the spark in his eyes growing brighter with every word. A grin spread on his face as he realized what Noah was proposing.

It was risky, but the thrill that came with it was irresistible.

"I'm in," He whispered back, his voice barely audible over the muffled hum of the bus engine, "I'll get the boys on board too."

+++++

The bus arrived at the venue around 9 am, giving everyone an early start to the day. The first show back after the much-needed break was tonight, and tensions were high as you walked into the living room of the bus.

The first thing you noticed was the asymmetrical line of grins painted on their faces – Jolly, Ruffilo and Folio sat huddled in a corner of the bus, whispering in hushed tones. Noah lounged across from them, eyes glinting with an unspoken challenge as he raked his fingers through his hair.

Something was off, but you couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it was.

“Morning,” you greeted everyone casually, trying to ignore their behaviour. Each of them glanced at you, and their grins only widened as they chorused back a “Good morning” that sounded far too innocent to believe.

With a yawn you shook your head, sitting on the couch and eyes trailed to the singer sitting across from you, nervously darting away when you caught his stare.

“How’d you sleep?”

The accusative tone lingering behind his words made your breath hitch in your throat, face flushing slightly.

“Good,” You mustered as Noah watched you vehemently, raising what appeared to be an annoyed brow. He licked his lips to cover the scoff that left his mouth.

“Sounded good,” He muttered, and you blinked rapidly in response, turning your head to the side as your cheeks warmed.

The bus door opened with a click, and everyone turned to watch Matt appear, two steaming cups of coffee between his hands. His face lit up at the sight of you, eyes soft with an affectionate smile spread across his lips.

“I thought you might want one of these,” he said, walking over and handing you a cup. The rich aroma of the dark liquid made you hum in appreciation; especially because the drink was now a distraction from the eyes of the accusatory brunette.

You took the warm cup in your hands, your lips curving into a contented smile as you thanked him.

Each boy stared with curious eyes, and Jolly watched Noah’s face scrunch in distaste as Matt sat down beside you, his hand instinctively finding your thigh. His touch made sparks dance under your skin, reminding you of the fire that had consumed you hours prior.

Tension hung thick in the air as Noah couldn't help but watch the display of affection between the two of you. His eyes followed Matt's hand as it brushed against yours, his jaw clenching at the obvious intimacy being shared. He could almost see the invisible threads of affection weaving around you, tightening with every whispered word and shared glance; and it made him sick.

With his heart twisting in his chest, a bitter taste grew in his mouth. Part of him had hoped that he would’ve won you over; that his cock pounding into you would’ve convinced you to stay with him.

However, you remained ignorant to Noah’s glare as he pondered, but also Folio’s.

The drummer’s mind had replayed the scene at the aquarium over and over, the feeling of your soft lips against his, and the taste of your body sharp against his tongue. Your laugh echoed in his memory, the smile on your face radiant as you two ran between the fish tanks together.

Now as he saw you entangled in Matt’s arm, he could feel a familiar pang of regret searing through him.

Unlike Noah, he was willing to admit he wanted it to be more than a game.

Ruffilo had also been watching as you and Matt moved together with undeniable synchronicity. His heart thudded in his chest as he saw Matt’s lips draw close to your ear, a secret shared only between the two of you.

This sight had him clenching his fists tighter as he forced himself to focus on the instructions that left the blonde’s mouth.

“Alright everyone,” Matt began, standing up from next to you, “We have a show to prepare for.” His voice was firm and commanding, bringing a sense of normality back to the bus.

This was enough to break the unspoken pressure in the air for a moment, and with a huffed sigh the group scattered, each one talking about different aspects of the show.

“Me and Y/N will start moving the soundboard and equipment into the venue. Meet in the greenroom around 11?” Matt said, manager mode turning on full force.

You nodded, tossing your empty cup into the garbage as you slipped on your shoes and a sweater.

Folio and Ruffilo also nodded, glancing at you briefly as you tugged the fabric over your head, watching you adjust your hair.

God, they thought you were stunning.

Noah found himself standing next to Jolly, who was grinning at him like a Cheshire cat while you and Matt left the bus.

“You think you're ready to shake things up?” Jolly’s voice was barely above a whisper, yet it was enough to pull Noah’s attention away from Matt your body as you walked away.

+++++

The rest of the day blurred with rehearsals and sound checks, nerves frayed and tensions high as everyone prepared for the performance. Yet amidst the chaos, Noah remained strangely calm – despite his mind being preoccupied with thoughts of tonight.

The concert started without a hitch, and the crowd roared with excitement as they kicked off with artificial suicide. You stood backstage, watching your boys with admiration as you stood in front of your laptop, sliding through the mix and keeping your earpiece tight against your ear.

Eventually, Matt began signalling intermission, and the boys ran off stage as the lights dimmed and the crowd’s screams echoed between the walls.

“Great job out there, everyone!” Matt was leaning by the curtain, a broad grin plastered on his face as he clapped Jolly and Folio on their sweat-soaked backs. Noah gave him a nod of acknowledgement, barely pausing in his stride as he went to pick up his water bottle from the side of the stage.

The singer’s gaze was distant as he drank from the bottle, and you watched curiously, brows furrowing with worry. Usually, he was more energetic; but something appeared to be eating at him.

Walking over to Noah, you gently tugged at his arm.

“How are you holding up?” you asked, looking up into his strained face. He reached out, squeezing your shoulder reassuringly- fingers burning your skin when he pulled away.

Jolly watched the scene from a distance, his lips pursing anxiously. Noah's eyes flickered to him for a split second, and he saw confirmation in Jolly’s subtle nod.

Taking a deep breath, Noah passed you a curt smile, “Just need some air.”

His gaze lingered on your face for a moment longer before he turned to head for the stage door, “Coming?”

"Sure," you said, following him out the door and into the quiet alleyway behind the venue.

The cool night air was a welcome respite from the stuffiness of the indoor venue, and you found yourself taking in large gulps as if trying to replenish your oxygen supply.

You suddenly felt nervous as he towered above you, chugging water as he stared at the brick wall ahead.

“Do you think you could handle all of us?” Noah asked after a moment of silence.

His words hung in the air, swirling with the surrounding breeze.

"What do you mean?" you asked, trying to keep your tone neutral but curious. Your eyes studied him, searching for any hints in his expression.

Noah turned towards you, his face illuminated by the dim streetlight reflecting off the wet pavement. His multi-faceted eyes bore into yours with a boldness that made you feel like he was peeling back layers of your thoughts and feelings.

"I mean," he began, taking an agonizing step closer to you.

Swallowing, you peered up at him as his hair fell over his eyes, looming over your body.

The proximity made your heart flutter in your chest as he spoke again.

"All five of us?" Noah's voice was barely a whisper now, a low rumble that sent vibrations coursing through your veins, “All at once.”

The pounding of your heart danced against your rib cage, palms turning sweaty as you tried to comprehend what Noah was insinuating. Your eyes flickered up to meet his in confusion.

“In what way?” you managed to get out, breath stuttering with each exhale.

“Want to find out?” he said simply, taking a hand and tucking a piece of hair behind your burning ears.

Before you could process his words further, or come up with a response, Noah's phone buzzed in his pocket.

He pulled it out and glanced at the screen, expression hardening.

"Showtime," he muttered, tucking the phone back into his pocket, “But when we’re done, I want you to go to the hotel down the street.”

You raised a brow, watching him.

“There’s a room booked under my name,” he continued, unfazed, "Room 407."

Noah’s heart hammered as he bit back a smile. His own body vibrated with nerves as you blinked at him, dumbfounded.

He then turned on his heel, heading back towards the venue.

"Noah, what in the world are you talking about?" You shouted after him, but he just waved over his shoulder as he disappeared back into the buzz and warmth of the concert hall, taking your unanswered questions with him.

Once the concert was over and the crowds began to trickle out, you packed your equipment and headed toward the venue exit. Usually, you’d be met by Matt and the crew to begin cleanup; but none of them were in sight.

With a confused brow, you searched down the halls and to the green room, but again, there was no sign of the boys.

Your mind raced back to Noah’s request and decided to head towards the hotel down the street. The night air had gotten colder, and you felt a stir of anticipation warming you from within.

As you approached the quiet building, you couldn't help but question your decision. Every rational part of you screamed to turn around and forget about Noah's peculiar request. Yet, something inexplicable urged you on. You found yourself standing in front of room 407, body warm and throat tightening.

Taking a deep breath, you slid the card the front desk gave you through the reader, and the tiny light turned green with a click. Pushing open the door, you were met with a dimly lit hotel room that was both quiet yet writhing with energy.

A small gasp left your lips once you noticed the figure looming in the corner; yet as fast as your heart was racing, his was racing ten times faster.

Sitting in a chair across the room sat the silhouette of a Noah, framed by the faint moonlight trickling in from the window behind him. A black ski mask covered his face, adorned with the sigils you were all too familiar with.

“Noah?” You whispered, almost taken aback at the ominous stature as he sat there, fingers lingering on his thighs.

“Not just Noah,” a voice replied from the corner to your left, and you snapped your head to the side, recognizing Matt’s voice.

The blonde emerged from the shadows, also wearing an identical ski mask.

With the closing of the hotel door, you dropped your bag to the floor, nervously crossing your arms below your chest. Before you could ask another question, more figures appeared from beside you.

Folio, Ruffilo, and Jolly each took their places in different parts of the room, all embellished with the same masks. A chill ran down your spine as you glanced at each one of them in turn, their identities concealed yet so obvious.

"No one else makes us feel the way you do," Noah started, his voice rough behind the fabric. He then stood up from the chair, approaching you slowly, each step agonizingly taunting.

All you could do was stand frozen in place, staring up at him while his onyx eyes bore into your own. A small smile twitched on his lips as he reached for your waist, pulling you toward him.

“We made a new bet.”

"New bet?" you echoed, the word a ghost in your throat. The drum of your heart began to ache once Noah didn't answer. Instead, he slid his hand up your back, resting it at the base of your neck while his thumb gently traced patterns on your skin. It was both soothing and terrifying.

Noah leaned closer until his breath fanned against your ear, his warm breath causing your skin to tingle, "We want you," he whispered, voice low but clear.

"All of us."

Drawing in a sharp breath, the confession rang between your ears. The room was silent save for the occasional rustling of clothes or an uneven breath from the boys around you. They were all watching, waiting for your reaction.

Folio stepped forward, sliding past Noah to stand behind you, allowing his own hands to reach for your hips as he pressed against your back.

"The bet is simple," you heard Folio smile, his tone nonchalant as if he wasn't discussing something that had the potential to change everything.

"First to make you back out, wins.”

Noah's hands tightened around the back of your neck as Folio's fingers dug into your hips. Glancing at the other three, all masked figures had an eerie calm to their stances.

"Back out of what?" you whispered as Folio's grip on your waist tightened.

"Us," Matt answered from somewhere to your right, voice surprisingly soft amidst the thick tension brewing in the room.

"No one has ever made us rival against each other," Jolly added, his voice muffled by his mask as he leaned against the distant wall. "We want to see if we could... Well…"

The swede trailed off, and you glanced at him as he smiled, turning to look at Ruffilo.

"Share you," the bassist finished for him, his usual jovial tone replaced with something far more sultry.

Your limbs heated at the implication of their words, abdomen clenching with each promise. Now looking up at the brunette infront of you, the small smile tugging at his lips was devilish and daring.

“Then what do you win?” You asked slowly.

Noah leaned forward, whispering into your ear again, “The right to have you all to themselves for one last night.”

"Noah…" you began, voice trembling. Nerves rushed through you, but somewhere deep inside, you also felt a strange tingle of anticipation as his inked hands roamed across your shoulders.

He silenced you with a thumb on your lips, eyes gleaming darkly under his mask, "That's if they can make you back out," he clarified, not moving away from you.

You took in a shaky breath, the room suddenly too hot even though there were goosebumps on your arms.

"And if I don't back out?" Your voice was barely audible, even to your own ears.

Noah's eyes twinkled in the dim light, and there was a small smirk playing on his lips as he responded, "Then we all win.”

Ruffilo’s earnest eyes flicked between you and the floor, while Matt’s excited smirk was hidden behind his mask. Jolly's stance was curious and daring against the wall, and Folio's possessive grip anchored you to his chest. Noah's gaze was confident and challenging as you licked your dry lips, feeling every single racing beat of your heart rumble in your throat.

"What if I say no?" You asked, a hint of uncertainty evident in your tone, “What if I don’t want to be part of your silly little game anymore?”

"Then you walk out that door, and we pretend this never happened," Noah replied after a moment of silence, his voice surprisingly calm, “We pretend that there was no bet five nights ago. We go back to normal and move on.”

He released his grip on your neck, taking a step back to give you the space you needed.

With a racing mind, you couldn’t help but relish in how each of them made you feel just nights prior.

There would be no going back regardless of what was about to happen- you were theirs.

Each of the boys watched you with quiet anticipation, their hidden faces betraying nothing as their eyes revealed everything.

Fear swirled in your stomach and hitched your breath. But stronger than fear was curiosity, tinged with a strange thrill you couldn't deny.

You turned to look at Noah again, his figure looming dominantly in the dim light.

"Alright," You uttered softly, “bet.”

For a moment, time itself stilled to savor the gravity of your words.

There was no going back.

Noah let out a low chuckle, his eyes closing briefly as he relished the word that sealed your agreement.

"Game on," he drawled, a slow smile spreading across his lips again. His gaze held yours captive, dancing with triumph and anticipation.

"Let's see how long you can last, hmm?" His voice carried a predatory tone as he reached out to gently stroke your cheek, thumb painting circles against your skin.

"Remember," he continued to whisper, his words a soothing melody designed to lull you into a false sense of security, "it can just be a game to you… unless you want it to be something else."

A game with stakes too high for comfort. A game with feelings.

Yet, you found yourself nodding, acknowledging his statement even as your heartbeat pounded in your ears.

Folio's hands tightened on your hips once more, pulling you back against him once Noah nodded.

The drummer’s breath was warm against the back of your neck and he dipped his head down, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he murmured his approval, "Such a brave girl."

Noah took a step back to sit in the chair again; ready to watch everything unfold before him.

"So it begins," Matt chimed in, pushing away from the wall he had been leaning against. His eyes roved over you with a sense of newfound curiosity; his fingers twitching as if aching to reach out and touch you. However, he restrained himself, not wanting to appear too eager yet.

Folio spun you around to face him, holding you close against his chest as he chewed back a smile.

“Kiss me,” He whispered, the plea making your legs fall weak.

With a brief nod you leaned into his touch, placing your lips on his in a delicate manner.

Feeling the texture of his lips on yours was like tasting sweet honey, the first brush a featherlight touch. Folio's arms tightened around you and he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss with every exhale. The heat that swelled through your body at his touch made your heart pound harder inside your chest, and your fingers curled themselves into the fabric of his shirt.

Soft sighs filled the room as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Feeling his chuckle vibrate against your lips as you held onto him made you smile; and once his hand inched up your back, stopping just below the curve of your neck to pull you in even closer, you were hooked.

Reaching up you pulled at the fabric of his mask, pushing it just above his lips; before another hand gripped your lower back from behind.

Jolly turned you around as he replaced Folio, and with a wicked smirk he drew you close into his embrace.

“Eager there, are we?”

You watched Nick step back as Jolly tucked your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek.

"My turn," he murmured against your lips before capturing them hungrily, drinking in the taste of your surprise.

As he drew back, he kept his gaze locked onto yours, fingers continuing to trace idle patterns on your waist.

Matt moved into your line of sight then, a wild look in his eyes as they burned fiercely. He didn't say anything as he reached out to gently tilt your chin upwards. His kiss was softer than Jolly's had been; gentle, almost reverent. It was a contrast to the desperation he showed you the night prior; but it left your body pooling with each swipe of his tongue.

Ruffilo then shifted closer, his fingers twining with yours as he now held you, claiming you as his for the sweet moment of time he was granted with you.

His eyes held an undeniable warmth that flickered with desire and curiosity. Lips were on yours before you could breathe in another shaky breath of anticipation, and he tasted like a promise you weren't sure you could keep, yet yearned for with a deep burning desire. Ruffilo was different from the others; he embraced the intimacy of your shared moment, and in return, elicited a response from you that held more passion than any of the previous kisses.

“Remember that you can always say no tonight,” he whispered against your neck, his teeth grazing teasingly down your skin, “Just say you’re done done, and we forget about everything. That doesn’t mean we win or lose.”

You smiled at his reassurance, allowing your fingers to run up his back toward the base of the mask, tugging at the fabric as you kissed him again.

He hummed as you held him before he leaned his forehead against yours; grey eyes shining with infatuation.

"May I?" He asked, his voice a soft murmur as he pulled you toward the bed by the loop of your jeans. His words were a tender whisper, a question caught in the suspended moment between one breath and the next.

A small nod was your consent, and his lips met yours with an agonizing slowness that made your knees buckle. You allowed him to pull you along, until he sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at you.

"If I win," he began, his voice thick and heavy with emotion, "my prize will be seeing that look in your eyes every time I kiss you.”

You reached down, tempted to pull the fabric from his face to reveal everything he had been wanting to hide- every confession, every affection.

“What if you lose?” You whispered.

Nicholas ran his hands down your arms to squeeze your hands, "Then I get the pleasure of knowing I was part of something that made your heart race and your mind spin," he replied, "Either way, it's a win-win situation for me."

Just as Ruffilo's words settled in your mind, you turned towards the chair where Noah now stood up.

"Didn’t forgot about me princess, did you?"

As he came closer, you admired his tall figure, his smile titilating.

You turned back towards Ruffilo for reassurance, only for him to gently guide you towards Noah. Although every fibre of your being was pulsating with tension, you decided to trust them.

"In the spirit of fairness," Noah began, mirroring Ruffilo's earlier gesture and tilting your chin upwards so that you were looking directly into his eyes, "I think I deserve a kiss too."

With a light nod from you and a teasing smirk from him, his lips found yours. As he kissed you passionately, it was like a dance; his movements precise, his touch intentional. His thumb ran against your jawline as he pulled away slightly, only to claim your lips again with a renewed fervour.

His kiss was a promise, an agreement between two secret conspirators, filled with unspoken words and tender sentiment.

His mouth lingered on yours for a long moment, relishing in the taste of having you all to himself for one last time, before a soft sigh escaped him once he finally pulled away.

Noah then nodded at Ruffilo, who pulled you by the waist of your jeans again until you fell onto his body, lying on top of him above the cotton sheets of the hotel room bed.

Hoisting you up to straddle his waist, you could feel Nicholas’ arousal grow beneath the fabric of his slacks as he pulled you down into a kiss once again.

His hands roved over you, heat radiating from every point of contact. His fingers traced the dip of your waist, skittered up your ribs and rested just beneath the swell of your chest.

You gasped into his mouth, a spark roaming through your abdomen at the intimate contact; but also because you knew each of the boys was watching behind you.

Ruffilo chuckled softly against your mouth before pushing up onto his elbows, flipping you onto your back before settling between the vee of your thighs. The position was intimate, his body caging yours as he leaned down to capture your mouth in another slow, intoxicating kiss. His arousal pressed into your thigh and you couldn't help but press back, a small moan erupting from your lips as friction roared through you.

"You're killing me," He muttered against your lips, before sliding down to kneel beside the bed, pushing your knees apart gently.

Matt moved to stand beside the bed, watching at Ruffilo waited for your knod of approval to unbotton your jeans.

The blonde sat beside you on the bed, hovering over your face to run his fingers along your scalp as Nicholas pulled your jeans down each leg in agonizing slowness.

"This isn't just about us having our turns," Matt murmured, "It's about you too."

Heat pooled within your abdomen as you lay exposed, the thin fabric of your underwear inches from Ruffilo’s mouth.

With an affirmative nod, you found yourself surrendering to their fleeting touches and simmering gazes. Nicholas’s fingers rested tentatively at your hips before his warm hands moved to hook around the waistband of your underwear, thumbs dipping lower to send a jolt of heat crackling through you.

"May I?" He murmured once again, the same question carrying an entirely different weight now.

Your grip on Matt's hand tightened as you nodded, heart pounding in your chest like a wild drum as Nicholas removed the last piece of clothing that separated you from him.

Your breath hitched as he kissed up each leg, a soft gasp escaping from your lips when he ran his tongue over the inside of your thigh. With a whimper and a plea, your back arched off of the bed to prompt him further, and his inked fingers finally slid between the folds of your desire.

“Fuck you’re soaking,” His breathy laugh of complete disbelief made you laugh breathlessly, a sound so hoarse as you rolled your hips into his hand, desperate for more.

As soon at his tongue swiped along your core you moaned, your mouth immedietly swallowed by Matt’s.

It was an odd but intoxicating dance of bodies, hands, mouths and excruciatingly slow movements. Your mind had shut down, and only your senses remained; the feel of Matt’s mouth on yours, Ruffilo’s tongue against your heated core, and the scent of their combined arousal filling the room.

“God,” You whimpered as one of Ruffilo's fingers slipped inside you while he continued to work over your folds with his mouth. Matt’s fingers were buried in your hair, holding onto you as he drank in your cries with each flick of Ruffilo’s tongue.

Nicholas switched to his hand, alternating between stroking and pumping into you exactly how you needed. His other hand went up to clasp onto one of your hands, intertwining your fingers together with a reassuring squeeze. The tension pooled in the pit of your stomach, growing stronger every passing second.

He pulled off of you, standing up while licking his lips greedily as he pulled the mask of his face, tossing it to the floor. You watched with furrowed brows, gasping for air as he smiled down at you, face flushed as his chest heaved.

Staring at him in awe you had no time to transition as Matt then slid down your body, kissing down your chest as he lifted your shirt, replacing Ruffilo between your legs.

"Delicious," Matt murmured against your lower lips once he swiped his tongue into your desire, the vibration eliciting another low moan from your throat. Allowing your hands to reach down you clawed the mask from his face, exposing him as he devoured your body with his mouth.

Jolly now crawled onto the bed, kissing your forehead as he spoke.

"How does it feel pretty girl?"

You could barely think straight, let alone form a coherent answer. All you could manage was a breathless, "Incredible."

"Good," the guitarist murmured, his fingers threading through your hair as he pressed delicate kisses along the column of your throat.

Jolly's other hand found its way to your breasts, cupping one through the thin fabric of your shirt. You squirmed beneath Matt's expert ministrations, Jolly's actions adding fuel to the fire that had been building within you since their sinful game had started.

Tugging at your shirt Jolly got a nod of consent before pulling your shirt off your body, leaving you barely dressed as Matt ate you out in front of them.

Jolly leaned down, his mouth inches away from your ear and whispered words that set your heart racing even faster, "You're so beautiful like this," he husked out, licking down your neck before sucking above your collarbone.

Meanwhile, Matt's tongue never ceased its exploration, lapping at your heat with a piety that left you breathless. He was relentless as he coaxed you towards that peak of pleasure that was just within reach, each stroke of his tongue a promise of pure ecstasy.

“My turn,” Noah murmured above Matt, watching as you squirmed against his mouth, moments away from letting go.

Jolly kissed between your chest as Folio made his way to your other side, taking your lips. Noah began worshiping your desire, his mouth skillful and familiar against your body.

Your legs twitched and jolted as Noah's tongue delved deeper, teasing and tasting with an insatiable hunger. His hands now held your hips in place, refusing to allow you any reprieve from the torturous pleasure he offered.

He played you masterfully, fingers dancing over your sensitive bud while his tongue delved deep inside. The heat in your core coiled tighter and tighter with every pass of Noah's tongue, with every teasing touch of his hand.

The low moan that escaped your lips was quickly swallowed by Folio's own mouth descending onto yours, drinking in your cries as if they were the sweetest wine.

Pulling away from Folio’s lips you sat up, allowing a hand to grip Noah’s mask and hold him against your arousal, rutting your hips into his face.

Noah’s chuckle of satisfaction vibrated against your body and with the final push of his fingers sinking into your core, you let your orgasm take over.

Your body seized with the magnitude of your release, waves of pleasure crashing over you, swallowing you whole.

And as the room spun as ecstasy gripped you, your fingers trembled gainst the fabric that covered Noah’s features while his movements stilled, lapping up in the sweet taste of your completion.

Your groans were loud and unabashed, echoing through the room in a testament to their skill.

Noah pulled away, face slick and eyes shining bright with satisfaction at your condition — sprawled out and panting heavily. He climbed back up your body, hovering above you before leisurely kissing your throat, just above where Jolly marked you.

"Damn," Ruffilo voiced from behind the group, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he watched Matt stand in front of you, tossing his shirt to the floor.

You were breathless as Jolly held your back off the bed, allowing Folio to unclasp your bra and expose your chest.

“You ready?” Matt smiled, tugging his pants down his waist as he brushed past Noah, pushing your knees back into your chest.

With a nod of approval, Matt ran his hand along the path Noah had traced earlier, before settling between your thighs, slipping a condom onto his cock.

Your body felt hypersensitive after the explosion of pleasure moments prior, but when Matt pushed into your body, it felt like starting anew.

"Oh god," you whimpered, feeling him fill you up perfectly as Folio kissed your forehead from above again.

He held himself still a few moments, allowing you to adjust to his size. His hands roamed your curves, fingers ghosting over your sensitive breasts, causing you to squirm and whine in pleasure.

"Easy," Matt whispered, his voice was laced with restrained desire. He slowly began to move inside you, each gentle thrust stealing your breath away.

The sensation of him moving inside you was indescribable; a blend of pain and pleasure that had you arching your back and gasping for more. His pace picked up gradually, matching the rhythm of your own desperate movements.

Jolly held onto your hand as Matt moved deeper into your pussy, taking control of your body. His eyes were filled with an intensity that reflected his own need and despite the vulnerable position you were in, it made you feel cherished, loved.

Meanwhile, Folio has pulled his mask off, lips dragging along your jawline, making their way down your neck and collarbone. Every spot he touched bloomed into an intimate longing that heightened your sensitivity to the ongoing pleasure.

His kisses were gentle, torturously slow; they contrasted starkly with the hard, steady thrusts of Matt's body that pounded into yours.

Ruffilo watched from a safe distance, his eyes dark with hunger as they roamed over your writhing body. It was erotic and raw; seeing Matt claim you in such a way, seeing the primal satisfaction in his eyes, his movements driven by pure lust and carnal need. Nicholas’ pants felt tight as he palmed his arousal between the fabric, aching in urgency for his own release.

Matt groaned above you; his movements becoming more fervent as he drove into you, every thrust bringing him closer to his release. You arched against him, meeting him thrust for thrust, your eyes locked onto his as waves of need crashed through you both.

Noah hovered beside Matt, eyes boring into yours from behind the mask as he leaned down to run his fingers delicately up your side, tracing the curve of your waist and hip as he watched Matt consuming you.

"You look so good underneath him," Noah whispered, before allowing his thumb to caress your clit with fervor.

"Noah," you gasped out, the sudden touch sending another crest of gratification through your overly sensitive body.

He chuckled, leaning between Jolly and Folio to press a kiss to your temple, before continuing his torturous ministrations. All the while, Matt kept up his relentless pace, groaning and grunting as he worked himself towards his climax.

Ruffilo stood beside the bed, his hand now dipping between his waistband as he allowed his cock to spring free from the restraint of his jeans. Your mouth hung open with lust as he wrapped his hand around his erection, pleasuring himself to the sight of you coming undone beneath Matt.

The room filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and moans, of skin hitting against skin in a perfectly timed rhythm; until Matt stilled, fingers digging into your hips as he cried out your name in prayer.

“Fuck,” He groaned, face contorting as he pulled out, the condom filled with his release.

"You did so well," Jolly murmured, kissing your shoulder as Matt collapsed beside you on the bed, panting heavily. You smiled then, admiring the flush of his ears as he heaved in satisfaction as your body jolted from Noah’s continuing touch.

The blondes gaze softened at the sight of you—drenched in sweat, hair splayed out on the bed sheets, and lips swollen from kisses. His hand reached out to brush stray strands of hair from your face, his movements gentle, contrasting sharply with the roughness from before.

"Don't think we’re done yet love," Ruffilo said, his words an assurance of more.

Folio now ripped open a condom, crawling onto the bed as he pulled you into the middle, flipping you onto your stomach.

"Now, it's my turn," he said, voice husky with desire.

Feeling the coolness of the sheets against your heated skin was a relief. You felt Matt gently roll off to the side, his fingers lazily trailing along your spine as Folio positioned himself behind you.

His fingers traced the curve of your backside before pulling your hips upward. The tip of his cock teased your entrance, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Taking hold of your back, he pushed into you slowly, his groans filling the room as he sank deeper.

Behind you, Jolly softly massaged your shoulders, his fingers kneading your tense muscles. His touch was soothing, easing some of the intensity from Folio’s thrusts. On the other side, Noah knelt beside you, his gaze never leaving where Nick and you were joined.

“Fuck,” Folio moaned, spreading your legs apart as you pressed your face into the pillow, a string of cries pushing into the soft fabric.

“You like that Y/N?” Noah whispered from your side. Turning your head you gazed as his lidded eyes flicked between his best friend’s thrusts and your love drunk smile.

“Yes,” you cried, causing Noah to smirk.

"Ah, she likes it," Noah murmured to Folio, words thick with amusement.

Nick responded with a low growl, lost deep in his own pleasure as he drove into your welcoming heat. His hands roamed over your waist and ass, pulling you back onto him with each thrust. His pace quickened, the rhythm becoming wild and unrestrained

"You're going to come again for us, love," Jolly promised, his voice filled with the same intoxicating desire that had been present throughout the night.

Your world spun as the swedes fingers slipped in between your legs between your body and the mattress, finding your swollen clit amidst the sea of pleasure that Folio was causing. Your gasps were swallowed by the pillow as the pleasure built up within you once more.

Folio’s thrusts increased in pace, each one harder and more desperate than the last. His grip on your ass tightened as he drove deeper into you, his cock hitting all the right spots that had you reeling in pleasure.

Another orgasm began rolling in, and once you succumbed, your body shuddered under the onslaught of satisfaction.

Overwhelmed by sensation, Nick groaned behind you, his thrusts slowing as he allowed his climax to consume him, shuddering against your skin.

He collapsed on top of you, heavy breaths fanning against your skin as he struggled to regain his composure. Your body was warm and pliant under him and for a moment, he simply savored the feeling of you pulsating around him.

"That was... fuck," Folio breathed out, pulling out of you carefully.

You exhaled heavily, your limbs raving with disbelief as you sat up, smiling over at Jolly who now ripped off his mask, taking his hand to tug your neck toward him. Planting a gentle kiss on your lips you moaned, relishing in the feeling of his fingers squeezing your neck gently.

"Noah?" You then turned once Jolly pulled away, reaching out for the silent figure still kneeling at the side of the bed.

He glanced up from where his hands had been idly twisting a loose thread on the bedsheets. His eyes were dark and hooded, his jaw clenched as if in thought.

It was the first time you had seen him so quiet, so reflective. He met your gaze, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips as he crawled over to you.

"I'm here," he murmured, his fingers brushing gently over the back of your hand.

You felt your heart swell at the look in his chocolate eyes; it was soft and filled with an emotion you couldn't quite name.

Reaching out with your other hand, you cupped Noah's cheek, pulling him down for a gentle kiss. His lips were warm against yours, the taste of him faint but unmistakable. He responded slowly, letting you control the pace of the kiss. You swapped between him and Jolly for a moment, allowing them to share you briefly before Jolly smiled.

“You’re not done yet, are you princess?”

Shaking you head you smiled up at the swede, allowing him to undress himself before lying on his back, motioning for you to crawl on top of him.

With a faint smirk, you complied, shifting your weight to straddle Jolly's hips. His hands steadied you as you positioned yourself over his erection, the anticipation of his cock making you tremble.

Once you gave him a nod of approval, he started to thrust up into you. His movements were slow and controlled at first but soon picked up the pace. His hands gripped onto your hips, pulling you down harder onto him while Noah continued to watch on the side lines.

Your grip on Jolly tightened, your fingers digging into his chest every time he drove into you. Your sounds of pleasure filled the room, mixing with Jolly's low grunts and Noah's breathy moans as he palmed himself, eyes never leaving the sight of you being taken with such fervor.

Jolly's thumb flicked over your clit, causing a gasp to escape your lips as you locked eyes with him. His gaze held yours for a moment before he stole another deep thrust into you, pulling a sinfully delicious cry from your parted lips.

As your gasps for breath increased, you could feel Noah's gaze on you. It burned into your skin, hotter than any touch, and his silence was unnerving- but you didn't dare to look at him.

Meanwhile, Ruffilo began to trace patterns along your arm, his touch barely there but sending shivers up your spine nonetheless. The intensity of Jolly’s thrusts increased, causing you to cry out as another wave of pleasure washed over you.

"Fuck," Jolly breathed out as he bucked up one last time, holding you down tightly against him as he found release. He leaned forward to take a breast into his mouth, hand holding the back of your neck softly, heartbeat thundering in your ear.

You couldn’t help but smile, sitting up as he softened inside you, before turning to smile at Folio and Matt, who sat watching eagerly, despite their release.

Both boys were erect again, holding their cocks tightly through the show of you being passed between them.

Turning, you watched as Ruffilo stood beside the bed, holding his desire out for you. His hand reached for your chin as he smiled down at you, lidded eyes awaiting for your lips to wrap around him. Jolly’s hands gripped your hips, kneading the skin in encouragement as you sunk your mouth onto Nicholas.

The sensation was an intoxicating mix of control and submission, and you reveled in the power of your position. You held Ruffilo’s gaze as you took him in deeper, your tongue swirling around his length. His approval was palpable in the sharp intake of breath and small hitches of pleasure that sounded from him.

"Such a good girl," he murmured, his praise causing a jolt of pleasure to course through you that had nothing to do with physical touch.

Noah now kneeled on your other side, his hand guiding your chin off of Nick and onto him. You smiled as you pulled off of the drummer, allowing the string of saliva to transfer onto Noah’s cock once you wrapped your lips around him, relishing in the two of them sharing you.

Jolly squirmed beneath you, chuckling at the sight as he held your body against his hips, allowing his fingers to circle your core.

The room was filled with the sounds of harsh breathing and the occasional moan, adding to the sinful atmosphere. Ruffilo watched as you took Noah in your mouth, his eyes never leaving the sight of your lips wrapped around him. His hand rested on your head, tangling in your hair as he guided you up and down his best friend.

Noah let out a low groan as he felt you take him in deeper, his fingers tightening on your shoulder. His hips moved subtly, pushing himself further into your mouth.

The sight of you taking him so eagerly, swallowing him down, had him teetering on the edge.

On the other side, Matt shifted closer to you, his gaze dropping to where Jolly still had his hands on your hips. He reached out, his fingers trailing over your backside before he dipped lower, testing the waters between your legs.

It was almost like he was asking for permission, a silent request that contrasted sharply with the assertive presence of Noah and Jolly.

A soft gasp escaped you as Matt's fingers slipped inside your arousal, his movements slow but insistent. The combination of his touch and Noah's throbbing length filling your mouth proved too much to handle. You whimpered around Noah, your body shuddering as you were pushed closer and closer to the precipice of pleasure once again.

Your hand stroked Ruffilo, the twist and glide of your wrist against his slick length leaving him twitching beneath your hand, holding your arm firmly in place.

"Fuck, just like that," Noah groaned, his hand reaching into your hair as he pushed you further down onto him. You gagged around him, but didn't pull away, the discomfort adding an unexpected edge to your pleasure.

Noah pulled the mask off now, revealing his face that was contorted in pure desire; and you stared up at him eagerly as he fucked your mouth.

Jolly continued to stroke your clit at a maddening pace, his thumb flicking over the sensitive bundle of nerves with a precision that had your thighs trembling around him. You squirmed as he pressed against you, while Matt’s fingers twisted and turned inside your core.

"That's it," Jolly murmured as you stilled on top of him. Folio stood on the side, watching as he stroked himself to your pleasure.

Tears streamed down your face as you felt the adoration and desire from each of the members. Ruffilo's intense stare, your lips wrapped around Noah’s member, Folio's throbbing arousal in your hand, Matt's skilled fingers buried inside you, and Jolly's thumb teasing your sensitive spot. They were all in control, dominating you completely.

And yet, you couldn't help but feel like the most powerful person in the room. It was your pleasure they were all focused on, your body they worshipped so eagerly.

"God, can't hold it," Noah groaned out next to you. His hips jerked forward involuntarily, his cock twitching inside your mouth as he released, the roped of cum hitting the back of your throat. He held your head in place, forcing you to swallow down every last drop of him.

Pulling back once Noah had finished, you moved to Ruffilo, your hand wrapped around his length as your lips took him in. He gripped the headboard tightly as he felt your mouth envelop him, and his eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, a soft gasp leaving his lips.

At the same time, Matt continued to play with you from behind, his fingers pumping in and out of you in rhythm with Jolly's thumb on your clit. The sensations had your stomach churning with pleasure, the need for release growing more and more urgent.

"Nicky, I... I'm gonna..." You couldn't finish your sentence, the overwhelming pleasure consuming all of your senses.

Ruffilo nodded, his hand coming to rest on the back of your head.

“let go, princess. Thats a good girl,” he groaned out, his thrusts becoming erratic as he neared his climax.

You whimpered around him as Matt and Jolly’s combined efforts pushed you over the edge. Your body shook around them for the final time, moans muffled by Ruffilo’s cock in your mouth- but they didn't need to hear it to know how hard you were coming.

At the sight of you losing control, Ruffilo clenched his jaw and pushed past the edge, spilling his load into your mouth with a loud groan. You swallowed him down gratefully, sucking gently on his length as he rode out his high, relishing in the taste of both your boys mixed within your saliva.

Once he was spent, Jolly gently lifted you off of him and Matt pulled his fingers out from inside you with a feather-light touch. You were set down on the bed, a sated smile gracing your lips as you took in the sight of each of them, basking in their own afterglow.

Ruffilo was the first to move, crossing the room to the attached bathroom. When he returned, he held a damp cloth in his hand and he approached you slowly, his eyes searching yours for permission. He started to clean you up with the utmost care, free hand grazing your cheek with complete adoration.

Meanwhile, Matt laid down next to you, his fingers tracing lazy circles along your exposed skin- his touch soothing after the intensity.

Jolly propped himself up on an elbow by your other side. His eyes never left you, watching with a soft expression. It was as if he was taking a moment to commit every detail to memory - your flushed face, your hazy eyes, the way you bit your lower lip as Ruffilo gently wiped you clean, a soft sigh escaping your lips.

Noah and Folio joined the others, finding spaces on the bed that allowed each of them to touch some part of you with admiration.

It was a silent reassurance, the quiet promise that they were still there, still with you after everything.

Your heartbeat slowed in your chest as you held onto your boys, your breath slowing as your tired eyes fought to stay awake.

Jolly broke the silence, his voice was low and thick with emotion as he whispered, "You were incredible."

He pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling back to look at you, and his words spurred the others into an affectionate overlay. Matt leaned in to press a lingering kiss against your cheek while Folio left feathery kisses up and down your arm. Noah reached out to brush a loose strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering as if he wanted to memorize the feel of your skin. Ruffilo, still holding the cloth, gently wiped a smudge of mascara from under your eye with a tenderness that made your heart flutter.

Your eyes met each of theirs in turn, their faces glowing with satisfaction and awe.

And then, just when you thought you couldn't possibly handle any more emotion, Noah’s gaze softened even further as he kissed your cheek.

There was an unspoken plea in his touch - an assurance of protection love.

“You're going to be the death of us,” Noah whispered, holding onto your thigh gently.

Matt laughed softly in the silence, his fingers dancing on your skin, "A hell of a way to go, though," he quipped.

Folio was silent as he traced your collarbone with his fingers, the gentle tickle of his touch making you giggle. He looked up at your laughter, a warm smile spreading across his face as he watched you with reverence.

Each of them seemed to understand that this was something sacred, something that deserved to be protected. And you found comfort in that understanding.

You closed your eyes, melting into the attention they showered upon you.

The satiated glow that encased the room was soothing – it was love and appreciation wrapped around your heart like a warm blanket. Yet there was an underlying charge that tingled beneath your skin, a silent affirmation that this wasn't the end.

Ruffilo discarded the cloth and settled down next to Noah, planting a kiss on your knee before he leaned back against the headboard. His hand found yours and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“So,” you whispered as your eyes lidded with sleep, “Who won the bet?”

The room quieted at your question, each man exchanging looks before they burst into laughter. It was a pleasant sound that echoed in the intimacy of the room.

“I guess we all did,” Ruffilo chuckled.

Noah shook his head and leaned in closer to press a soft kiss to your cheek. "Guess we'll just have to have another round.”

Your chuckle was soft, floating up into the space between you all, "Oh, is that how it is?"

“Seems only fair,” Jolly murmured, his fingers gently playing with your knuckles, running a finger across each one.

Folio let out a laugh, the sound rich and deep, "I'd say it's more than fair," he said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

There was a murmur of agreement among them, followed by another round of laughter. You couldn't help but join in, the infectious sound bubbling up from your chest and spilling past your lips.

"And this time," Matt began, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he looked directly at you, "we'll make sure to keep score."

+++++

tags:

@xxkittenkissesxx @deathblacksmoke @nyxisnotok @anameunmusical @sitkowski

@sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @thefallennightmare

@whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13

@somewhere-diamond @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak

@darkmxgician @sprokat @thatchickwiththecamera @xserenax-13

@philomenie @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @blend-in-with-the-madness @rumoured-whispers @anything-more-than-human

@blacksoul-2 @sweetwombatpizza

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter four:

➴ chapter warnings: drinking and kinda suggestive? sex is mentioned!

➴ word count: 3k

💌 from me to you: i think one of you cast a spell on me because i cannot wait until friday to publish this. also, i listened to self righteous by bryson tiller while i wrote this. just saying!

౨ৎ

2024, APRIL.

madisoncarter

Vancouver, Canada

liked by nickharris_img, imgmodels, lhughes_06 and 390,813 others

madisoncarter mood because bella and i are the newest vancouver girlies

View all 1,283 comments

vic_alonso 🤩🤩🤩

ellecanada Welcome, love 💛

madisoncarter_updates Omggg we’re so excited for you babe!!!!!!!

peterrocky she’s never beating the “idk who the hughes brothers are” allegations

nickharris_img I miss you already Mads 💔

lavieenrose Welcome home, Flower! 🌷🌼🌹

౨ৎ

“WHAT DO you think, baby?”

Bella stared at you before she started running around the place, sniffing every corner.

It was officially your first day living in Vancouver. You had been coming and going to Vancouver ever since you’d signed your contract with La Vie en Rose, arranging things and getting your shit together.

Nicholas was right, their team took care of everything, and they got you a nice place too. You still had to pay rent but at least you didn’t have to go apartment hunting, which was something you hated.

You and Bella landed in Vancouver last night, and you didn’t have the energy to do anything but lay on your bed with her and sleep the entire Saturday. It was Sunday now, and you were trying to get Bella used to the rooms before you had to leave for your first shooting on Monday.

“It’s not so bad, is it?” You asked her, putting your hands on your waist. “I think it’s nice.”

Your phone rang and you picked it up, reading Quinn’s text with a smile on your face.

You’ve been texting everyday since that day at his house, and you felt like the world was finally spinning right again. Having Quinn back in your life— and consequently Ellen, Jim, Luke and Jack as well— made you so happy it was almost unbelievable.

He texted at weird hours, sometimes at three a.m. and sometimes at six p.m., but he always asked about you and how you were doing. Have you eaten? How’s the moving going? Do you need any help?

You’d stare at those texts and ask yourself the same thing you’ve been asking since you were eleven: why he was so kind to you? Not that you were complaining. It just felt weird to have someone who cared as much as he did again.

You told him you were now permanently living in Vancouver and he told you he’d come see you whenever he got back from Seattle. You felt your heart beating faster just with the thought of him at your place, both of you alone for the first time after that awkward moment at his house, with you hangover as fuck.

Now you would be sober and in your space, not his.

You sighed, watching Bella preparing herself for a nap in her massive bed by the balcony and you decided that napping was the right solution for you too.

౨ৎ

YOUR FIRST day at La Vie en Rose had been a success, not that you expected anything else.

Turns out your editor-in-chief, Victoria, was one of the nicest people you had ever met; she talked you through the process of working for La Vie en Rose and answered all of your questions with patience and kindness.

“You were our target for a long time before we managed to snatch you,” she joked when you mentioned that working with them was a dream come true. “So we’re the ones who should be thankful.”

She took you to her favorite restaurant and bought your lunch while she talked your ears off, in the best way possible. You never had a girl friend before. Between casting and auditions, you never got to make many friends. And in the world of modeling, there weren’t friends— you had to see the other girls as your opponents, people you had to defeat. Your body had to be better, your hair had to be shinier, your catwalk had to be smoother.

So when Victoria treated you as a friend, even if you’d met each other a few hours ago, it was like the universe was being kind to you again.

You were on your way home, enjoying the view as you walked down the streets, grateful that you still didn’t have a car because the city was really beautiful, even with the cold weather.

You arrived at your apartment, going all the way up to the ninth floor. When you opened your door, Bella almost knocked you down, jumping on you and licking your face.

“You’re going to hurt mommy, baby,” You laughed, caressing her fur. “I missed you too.”

She barked and you got up, finally closing the door and removing your heels. You left your bag on the couch and ran to your bathroom, desperate for a hot shower and pajamas. The best part of your house was the central heater system, and the fact that you got to wear your tiny pajama sets even when it was snowing outside.

You did your nightly skincare and spread the vanilla scented lotion on your entire body, before applying your favorite perfume— no need to specify the scent. You were a vanilla girl through and through and you would never leave the house unless you smelled like a bakery.

It was only eight p.m. but you were so tired that all you wanted to do was crash in your bed and sleep, but you still had to give Bella her dinner. So you walked to your laundry room, where you kept all of her things— you were that king of dog mom who buys your dog three hundred winter clothes and five hundred chewing toys— and grabbed her food pot, shaking it lightly to grab her attention.

Which worked momentarily because next thing you knew the doorbell was ringing and Bella was running to the door, barking loudly.

“Bella!” You reprimanded her, putting your index finger in front of your mouth and shushing her. “Quiet, please.”

You opened the door even without knowing who was on the other side, which was probably a bad and dangerous thing to do, but it was just Quinn, wearing a suit and holding a suitcase.

“Quinn?” You watched as Bella jumped on him, excited to see someone else. “Bella, down, please. Leave him alone.”

“Oh, hello there,” he bent over and patted Bella’s head, caressing her fur while she licked his hands. “Who are you, hm?”

“That’s Bella,” you said, opening the door so he could get inside. You watched as he got up and stared down at you, eyeing you up and down. You followed his gaze and realized that you were still only wearing your pink, almost see through pajama set and with the cold breeze that hit you when you opened the door, your nipples decided that now was a good time to mark through your shirt. “Um.”

Something flashed through Quinn’s eyes, but you didn’t know what. He coughed, closing the door for you. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“O-oh, right. Bella,” you looked at her, watching as she sniffed Quinn’s things. “I adopted her when I moved to LA. We were both alone and she was living at a shelter.” You smiled, remembering the day you took her home. “She was so small and so scared. She was sitting alone at a corner and I just… I couldn’t leave her there.”

Quinn chuckled, nodding. “You’re still the sweetest person I have ever met.”

“Oh, stop it,” you croaked, smiling.

“Just saying,” he shrugged, putting his hands on his pocket and resting his body against the door. “I just came to check on you. Nice place you got here.”

You looked around, agreeing with him.

“It is, I was just telling Bella this,” you started. “It’s not big but it’s perfect for us. I like it a lot. Especially the heater.”

“That’s nice too,” he agrees. “What are you having for dinner?”

You stared at him, confused. Only that you couldn’t tell him that dinner wasn’t something that happened everyday in your world.

“Hum,” you stutter. “Nothing? I was just ready to go to bed, actually.”

“That’s too bad,” he removed his shoes and started walking around your place like he’d been there a million times before. “I’m starving. We just got here from Seattle. What do you want me to cook?”

“You don’t need to cook anything,” he cocks his head at you, eyes staring deep into your soul. “I’m not hungry. But I can cook something for you if you want to.”

“I don’t like eating alone. And you can’t just go to bed without eating anything.”

“Quinn…” you sigh, placing your hands on your hips. “Don’t do this. Please?”

“I’m not doing anything, I’m just saying. So,” he claps his hands. “What are we having?”

“Jesus, I forgot how annoying you are,” you roll your eyes, holding back a smile. “We can maybe have a salad.”

“If you want to kill me, there are faster ways to do it,” he whines and you laugh. “Can I take care of dinner and you take care of Bella while I cook?”

“I wanna help.” You pout and he smiles.

“You can help by sitting there,” he points at your dinner table. “And looking pretty. You’re good at that anyway.”

You laughed out loud, wrapping your arms around your chest. “You’re old and annoying, Quinn Hughes.”

He opened your cabinets, searching for something with his eyes.

“What do you think about rice and salmon?” He asks, picking up the rice package.

“Maybe potatoes instead of rice?” You suggest, pointing at the potato sack sitting in your kitchen trolley.

“Alright,” he pulls up the sleeves of his suit, and goes to the sink to wash his hands. “Let’s get to work.”

To your surprise, Quinn moved around your kitchen with ease, even when he had never visited you before. He finely chopped the potatoes, putting them in the oven to let them roast before he moved to the salmon, seasoning it with the spices you had in your cabinet.

He listened to you the entire time, with you yapping about your day and how nice Victoria had treated you and how Nicholas had called you mid-shooting to ask how you were doing.

“What exactly do you do?” He asked, while you grabbed a wine bottle from your fridge.

“Well, it depends,” you replied, grabbing wine glasses from your cabinet and opening the bottle. “Sometimes I just take pictures all day, in different locations and outfits. Sometimes I have to go to runways. Sometimes both. Not to mention the social media work, the TikToks and all of that.”

“I don’t even wanna hear about TikToks,” he rolls his eyes, making you laugh. “The Canucks media team are always asking us to do stupid trends and answer weird questions. What does ‘very demure’ even mean anyway?”

“You’re too old for that, Quinny,” you joke, filling your glasses up. “Do you know what I think?”

“Hm?”

“I think you should come see me at a runway show,” you suggest, knowing damn well Quinn would never sit on a chair for an hour and a half just to watch women wear weird, provocative clothes and catwalk on a platform. “It’d be interesting.”

“Only if I get to bring my team with me so it’ll be less boring.” He fires back, checking on the salmon in the pan.

“I’m sure they won’t mind watching women in underwear or something similar.” You smile, watching as he nods with his head and sips on his wine too.

“I’m sure of that too.”

He resumes cooking while you finish your first glass of wine, already in for your second. You set the table, turning the TV on for Bella— she likes watching TV sometimes, and that’s fine!— before sitting down to eat Quinn’s tasty-looking meal. After you got your first bite of the salmon, you couldn’t help but moan.

“I didn’t know you knew how to actually cook, Quinn Hughes,” you say, chewing on the fish. “When did you even learn that?”

“I’m a grown man now, Maddie,” he laughed and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Like that means anything. I know Ellen would cook for you everyday if you asked her to.”

“Yeah, but I’m not around her so much anymore, so I just figured out it’d be good for me to know how to take care of myself. And turns out I really like cooking.”

“This is heavenly, thank you so much,” you sip on your wine as the same time he sips on his, smiling because you liked his company a lot.

౨ৎ

“AND THEN, Jack asked them to flash him and the worst part is that someone caught that on camera.”

You laughed, letting your body fall forward, feeling lighter than ever. You and Quinn were sitting on your couch, already in your second bottle of wine. Bella was chewing on one of her toys and it was already ten thirty.

Quinn was now wearing just his white, dress shirt with the first two buttons open, his jacket lost somewhere alongside his tie. You couldn’t help but notice how the fabric of the shirt held his muscles in all the right places, getting tighter every time he flexed his muscles.

Quinn was hot, and he had always been in your eyes. He was only twenty-four, almost twenty-five, but he looked older, mature. Something about him being a hockey player, the captain, made you feel confused and hot at the same time.

“Jack girlies must have gone crazy with that video,” you add after you stop laughing, watching as Quinn nods.

“Tell me about it,” he runs his fingers through his silky, somehow hydrated hair, and you find yourself wondering how it’d feel for you to do the same. “It was crazy. But I don’t really get the appeal.”

You scoffed. “You don’t get the appeal? Have you seen you or your brothers?”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “So what? We’re alright, I guess,”

“You’re crazy,” you roll your eyes at him, incredulous. “I spent my teenage years ignoring guys because you ruined all of them for me and you’re saying you’re just alright?”

He chuckles, turning his head around and staring at you, blue eyes darkening.

“What do you mean by that, Madison?”

Maybe it was the fact that it was already late at night and you were tired, or maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the fact that the last time you had had sex with someone had been more than six months ago, but something about the way Quinn asked you that question, calling you by your name out of all things, made you wonder.

You were both grown up now. You weren’t fifteen anymore, innocent and afraid of voicing your needs. And Quinn looks like he knows how to make a woman see stars…

Besides what they say about big noses, you caught yourself thinking, before you could even stop yourself.

Crossing your legs and unconsciously squeezing your thighs together, you answered, softly:

“It’s silly,” you bit your lip, unsure of what you would even say. This is definitely the wine’s fault. “I had a crush on you growing up.”

You expected him to laugh and play it off, like he used to do whenever Jack or Luke mentioned that one of their girl friends had a crush on their older brother, Quinn. You expected him to give you that brotherly look he used to give you when you were younger and asked him questions about his life and family.

But the look he gave you had something different, something rawer. Something that made your skin crawl in the best way possible, that lightened something inside you.

“Did you now?”

“Mhm,” you nod with your head. “That’s why I’ve never had any boyfriends or hook-ups, even after you left. You ruined them all for me.” You wanted it to sound like a joke, but it hadn’t. How could it, when you were telling the truth.

“Should I apologize, Maddie?” He manspreads on your couch, and you let your gaze fall on his thighs for a brief second— just not brief enough for him not to notice.

“No, it’s— it’s fine. I’m not fifteen anymore.”

“I can see that,” he whispers, and you can feel yourself slipping into his little trap, slowly.

You were so fucked. Ultimately, stupidly fucked, and not even in the way you wanted to. After all these years of swearing to yourself that Quinn wasn’t meant for you, and that you wouldn’t see him again with lovey eyes anymore, you couldn’t believe the reactions your body was having to just his words and stares. This isn’t normal.

You needed to do something because— you will not fuck this up again. Quinn’s friendship’s too precious for you to ruin it with horny thoughts.

So what if Quinn looked like he could fuck you six ways to Sunday? He was your friend. It hadn’t even been a month since he got back in your life.

“Yeah, but I’m over it now,” you brushed it off, making a pft sound with your mouth. “Grew up and all of that.”

He takes a while to answer, but when he does, you can feel he wants to say something else.

“Got it.”

After that, the tension between the two of you is almost ten times bigger, and you have to stop your brain from blaming yourself. Whatever happened between you and Quinn seconds ago could never happen again. He was your friend.

“Think I’m gonna go now,” he says, getting up. Bella runs to his body, licking his hands and asking for pets. “Hey, baby girl. I’m going home now.”

“You don’t have to,” you suggest, the thought of him leaving because of you making you sick to your stomach. “I have a spare bedroom. You drank, it’s not safe.”

“You’re right, but I’m not drunk and I’ll drive slowly, I promise,” he smiles, leaning down to give you a peck on your forehead. “Great to see you.”

“Drive safe, please,” You watched him leave with Bella by your side, heart squeezed tightly inside your chest. “Text me when you get home.”

“Will do it.” He answers, before putting on his jacket again, grabbing his suitcase and closing the door of your apartment.

And just like that, you had to spend the night trying to convince yourself that you did the right thing by pushing whatever that was away.

taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎

[mandiemegatron]

𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙃𝙤𝙢𝙚

𝙇𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙖𝙧 𝙥𝙩. 2

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 ; 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝, 𝙇𝙖𝙬 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙯𝙮 𝙖𝙨 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆, 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩, 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠, 𝙆𝙞𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙨, 𝙜𝙤𝙧𝙚.

ᴸᵒˢⁱⁿᵍ ᵀʰᵉ ᵂᵃʳ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ᵒⁿᵉ ʰᵉʳᵉ ♡

A/N: ... yeah. This one hurt. It's rare that my own works make me sob the way this one did, I had to stop at one point and message my beta because it was 😭😭 good god. Just so yall are prepared.

Water anon, this ones for you. You asked for nothing but utter heartbreak and I hope I've delivered.

Thank you all for your patience with this, I'm truly so sorry this took so long but once you read it, you'll understand why. My heart is heavy and now I need to go smoke a fat blunt!

I love yall so much, a huge huge thank you to my beta Moss for their continued support and help.

“... Eustass…”

Kid shuffles in his sleep as a breathy voice rings out his name. He groans softly to himself before turning in his bed, his arm flopping over his face to shield his closed eyes from the beginning rays of sunshine.

“... Eustass…”

Eustass Kid rises from his deep slumber with a start, his eyes shooting open as a voice that once echoed over the entirety of the Victoria Punk sighs in his ears.

He sits up with a grunt, eyes almost frantically glancing over his empty room, only to take in exactly what he already knew - you were not there.

He glances down to his fleshy fist, frowning deeply as he takes in your now torn and tattered shirt - one he had hand picked out for you a few weeks after you'd joined - and he tosses it aside his pillow before holding his exhausted face in that same hand.

There's a rough knock on his door and he grunted again, though this time louder so the knocker knew he was awake.

Heat peeks through the door as he opens it, head tilted mutely as he takes in his Captain.

“... rough night, man?”

Kid huffs and glares at Heat before throwing his legs over the bed and stretching, his stump shaking slightly at the ferocity of the stretch.

“Could have been better.” Kid murmurs honestly, his voice still rough and low from sleep. He slowly rises from his bed and slips into his patterned pants and throws his billowy shirt over his limb, grimacing to himself as the fabric scrapes against his stump.

If Heat notices, he smartly says nothing to it, only giving a slight nod as Kid finally makes his way out of his room.

They're only a few steps out from Kids room when Heat suddenly speaks up, his tone even though clearly careful in his approach.

“We've… had reports about you know who that-”

Kid stops in his tracks, knowing exactly what Heat was about to say and shuts him up with a ferocious glare, lips pressed into a thin line to show his displeasure. Heat simply sighs and walks past him, shaking his head slightly as he mumbles to himself.

Kid huffs again and immediately turns around, deciding to go right to his workshop instead.

He didn't have an appetite anymore anyways.

As Kid enters his workshop, he immediately begins brainstorming ideas, wanting to bury himself in random work just to occupy the rampant thoughts that plagued his mind. He activates his devil fruit and scrap metal whips past him as he sits down, pulling a few boxes out from under his main wooden table and nearly tossing them up top.

Eustass grumbles and mutters to himself, ignoring the aching in his chest as he stumbles upon a few welded pieces of scrap you had been fiddling with, tossing them into a “destroy” box off to the side without a second thought.

Every few days he comes across something else you'd left behind - one day was a small notebook and pen, filled with scribbles of the crew (but mostly him), a handful of necklaces and bracelets over the next few, and now lately, it had been this.

Six months had already passed and to Eustass, it had been an eternity. Nights flew by where he didn't sleep, taken over by a bitter motivation to finish whatever project he threw himself into, desperate to not fall asleep to see you sleeping beside him in his dreams.

An angry and hurt sigh left Kid as he tossed the first box behind him, ignoring the loud clashing of the metal inside hitting the floor like sharp thunder. More of your little inventions fell out, clearly the cause of his distress.

“Fuckin’ ridiculous,” he furiously mutters to himself as he sifts through the second box. “You're lettin’ some fuckin’ broad take over your damn thoughts like some-”

“Kid, you alright?”

Kids head whips to the door, glaring darkly at Killer who had popped his head in, a deep set frown hiding behind the mask as he takes in the wrecked room. Killer lets out a low whistle before looking back at Kid with a slightly tilted head.

“... you got a pretty big mess there, man.”

Kid is eerily silent as he turns back to going through the box, deciding not to give Killer a response.

Killer blinks a few times behind the mask before sighing heavily and pushing his way into the workshop. He slides into the chair you used to take up and bluntly bites out,

“Kid, enough is enough.”

Eustass still stays silent.

Killer continues, “You have got to snap out of it. You made a mistake, you paid for it, and now you have to live with the consequences. This childish attitude isn't very Captain like.”

Kid freezes, a silent fury burning up in his stomach, threatening to spill out of his throat.

Killer sits back, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he continues his verbal assault.

“Kid, we looked for her everywhere. Either something happened to her, which is out of our control, or she made her choice not to come out, and if that was the case, then it is what it is. But taking your bullshit out on the crew is un-fucking-acceptable, and it's not going to continue to happen.”

Killer doesn't even have a chance to prepare himself as Kid throws himself at the blonde, shouting threats as he aims a wicked fist at the mask. Killers hand grips Kid's fist right before it smashes the mask, the blonde huffing as he struggles against Kid.

“K-kid! Stop man, what the fuck!”

The two struggle, fists flying and finally Kid's fleshy knuckles meet the mask, cracking it right down the eye. Kid suddenly freezes, blood dripping down his clenched fist and staining the wooden workshop floor beside Killer's head. The two breathe heavily, the adrenaline finally running low as Kid furiously croaks out,

“It's fuckin’ bullshit.”

Killer's heart breaks for Kid as he watches the depression eventually seeps through the anger, finally snuffing out the spark of fury in the Captain.

“I gave her everything’, man,” Kid spills out, sitting back on his calves as he stares past Killers face into the bloodied floor, eyes empty and haunted. “I gave her every fuckin’ piece of me and then tossed her away.”

Killer sits up with a grunt, his hand slightly shaky as he gingerly touches the crack on his mask. While the two fought sometimes, it was rare if not never that Kid had ever snapped at his mask like this. Deciding to put his own ache aside, Killer speaks up,

“This is called ‘your actions have fucking consequences’, Kid. Put yourself in her shoes - how would you have felt if you'd come across her fucking some random dude?”

Kid's nostrils flare with a huff, clearly unimpressed.

Killer gestures broadly at his action with a comment of, “Exactly. You expected her to come home with open arms, ready to sleep in the same bed you just fucked some random woman in?”

Eustass flinches as Killer says “home”, having already forgotten the way that word used to fall from your lips, how you'd loved the ship more than most of the crew. Kid squeezes his eyes shut, trying to focus on the pain in his fist as he finally hisses out,

“I get it.”

Killer pulls himself off the floor before he barks back, “Do you? Because it's been months, and you're still sitting here, acting like she didn't have a right to put her foot down. She loved you, man.”

Kid remains kneeled on the floor, his eyes holding an echo of colour as he slowly looks up to his first mate and best friend.

“... I really fucked up, Kil.”

Killer purses his lips together under the mask, giving a soft sigh through his nose before he replies gently, “Yeah Kid, you did.”

Killer holds out a hand for Kid to take, which he does after staring at it blankly for a few moments. When he finally stands, Kid barely gets out,

“... sorry.”

Killer gives Kid a small nod, accepting the apology at face value with a heavy clap on Kid's shoulder. “We're good.”

The two share a moment of silence, their eyes communicating better than any words could say. Killer gives Kid a slight shake before he finally asks,

“You gonna come eat with your crew or you want me to bring you something here?”

Kid shakes his head and honestly replies,

“I gotta get outta here. I'm sitting with my crew, like I should have been doing.”

Pride washes over Killer at seeing his Captain and best friend slowly come back to his senses. “Atta boy, let's go eat some grub, while there's still food left.”

Killer motions for Kid to follow, but the Captain remains in his spot. Killer tilts his head slightly and before he can ask, Kid promises thickly,

“I'm gonna find her, Kil. I'm gonna find her and bring her home, and I'm gonna make it up to her. You'll see.”

Stuck between wanting to support him and wanting to smack the stupid out of him, Killer decides to remain silent, giving Kid only a slight nod before walking out of the workshop.

-

“Lift it just a bit higher, Y/N!”

You huff to yourself and nearly raise yourself up on your toes to hold the metal plate just a smidgen higher. There's a whoop of delight before the metal is finally welded to the wall. You take a few, slow breaths as your arms begin to ache, sweat dotting your forehead as you call out,

“Eh uh, Shachi, you almost done? This is getting really heavy…”

There's a loud whir from above your head and Shachi calls back, “You're good! Move back!”

You let your arms fall down with a groan and you step back, now able to crane your head up enough to see just how the repairs were going. Ikkaku and Shachi clearly knew what they were doing, the redhead following her orders with absolute ease.

“You alright, Y/N-ya?”

A warm hand meets your shoulder and you turn, grinning up at your now Captain as you reply,

“Hey boss! Yeah, I'm good, just wasn't expecting to be doing this much heavy lifting today.”

Trafalgar Law looks down at you with a slight smirk, head tilted slightly as he asks,

“Is this your way of telling me you didn't expect the random sea-king attack?”

You can't help but snicker at his words, playfully jabbing at his side before joking back, “Ha! My gift of foresight doesn't work underwater, apparently. Forgive me, Captain.”

Law gives a soft tsk as your jab, swatting your hand away gently before he half-jokes, “Unfortunately, there will be no forgiveness today. To the infirmary, YN-ya, there's more mess for you to clean.”

You sigh and roll your eyes playfully before flashing him another grin and waving off your fellow boiler suited friends.

It was a very thin line, the one that you and Law seemed to dance on in the last few weeks. For so long, you'd felt like an unwilling guest on the ship, even with how kind and welcoming the Heart Pirates had been; now you'd felt like perhaps becoming a Heart Pirate yourself was genuinely a blessing.

There was what felt like an unspoken rule between you two. Step close, but never so close enough for it to mean something. Say something sweet, but nothing so sweet as to make you ache. Touch gently, but not so often that it might look too gentle.

As precarious and almost confused as you felt about the situation, you did your best to remain as neutral though genuine as possible while dealing with Law, trying to keep your heart locked up lest another Captain decide to crush it in his hand. That was not an ache you wanted to deal with ever again.

You sighed in slight frustration at seeing the main medicine cabinet open and nearly empty, bottles of pills and vials of whatever Law kept in the cabinet strewn over the entire medical bay, along with papers and file folders from the multi drawer desk beside it. You immediately began to pick things up, having to take a few seconds as you tried to remember where everything went, knowing Law would come in at some point and fix any mistakes.

You were about half-way through when the med bay door opened then shut, the soft click of familiar boots echoing slightly until they stopped just behind you. You gave an exaggerated sigh and glanced up over your shoulder, ignoring the slight burn in your cheeks at how close Law actually was.

He was staring at the open cabinet, his eyes moving over each bottle and vial before you jokingly asked, “See any issues, Captain?”

Law blinks before looking down at you, mirth in his gaze as he jokingly snarks back, “Actually, yes.” He leans over your shoulder, his chest pressed against your shoulder blade as he reaches into the cabinet and moves four bottles around. “The dosage was in the wrong order. Always low to high, you know that.”

You turned back to the bottles and hummed to yourself in agreement, mentally noting to always read the fine print in the future. “You're right, good catch.”

He raises an eyebrow with a hum of his own before moving back and resting against the desk beside the cabinet, his arms crossing over his chest as he comments,

“You seem to be fitting in quite well, it seems.”

You placed a few more bottles inside silently, giving a slight shrug before throwing him a small smile. “I like to think so.”

Law nods minutely, tilting his head a little as he asks, “Did Eustass-ya's crew treat you similarly?” He waits a beat before adding almost gently, “If you're comfortable with sharing, of course.”

Your nose bitterly twitched into a scrunch for not half a second before you genuinely replied in a flat tone, “Yes. They treated me just fine.”

You already know what Law's about to ask so you cut him off with an exhausted, “You ask me about Kid every other fuckin’ week, I don't know why you're so nosey about him.”

Law smirked slightly, giving a laughing huff as he leaned back slightly, taking you in before he replied smoothly, “I'm not nosey, I'm just interested in information about my enemy.” He frowns at you mocking him with your hand, your fingers talking at the same speed as him and he snaps, “Don't be rude. Are you a toddler?”

You stick your tongue out at him before frowning, going back to trying to finish your duty with a little more aggression to your motions. “Don't you have anything better to do than bully me?”

Law can't help but chuckle at you, shaking his head with a playful sigh before he stands straight and walks towards the door. He calls over his shoulder, “Dinner is soon, don't be late, or I'll ground you.” He doesn't flinch when a pen whips past his head and embeds into the metal door, instead he frowns and turns back to you with a sharp, “Oi! Don't put holes in my fucking ship! Don't think I won't toss your ass overboard!”

You roll your eyes and place the last few bottles inside before finally locking up the cabinet and moving onto the papers and files splayed over the floor like a shitty confetti toss. You hear Law grumble and rip the pen out of the door before it gets tossed and rolls just off to the side from you. “Don't fuck anything up, Y/N. If you want to even think about taking a step off this ship to explore the island tomorrow, everything better be a hundred and ten percent perfect.”

Your heart sinks slightly at the bite in his tone, knowing you'd taken a step too far. “Yes, sir.” You muttered before kneeling down and beginning to shuffle through the sheets. Luckily, most file folders were nearly intact, only a few pages missing and close by that you could begin matching them properly. You couldn't stop from flinching when the door slammed shut, your head bowed low in near shame as you silently picked up more papers.

You sighed to yourself as you bit back tears, his last question playing over and over in your head as you began to think about your old crew. Cold nights like tonight, you'd be curled up in Kid's red jacket, your tired eyes lovingly watching him as he fiddles over another small trinket or invention, laughs bubbling up as Kid made butterflies flutter around you, a gentle and adoring look on his face as he looks back at you. You angrily wiped at your face as tears streamed down, trying not to let them fall and stain the white sheets around you.

“You made your choice, you made your choice, you're not allowed to cry about it, you made your choice…” your voice cracked in sorrow as you murmured to yourself, your hands pressing against your eyes to try and stop the onslaught of tears. “You did this to yourself, this is your fault, this is your fault…” Your broken heart shattered a little more as the grief took over.

Unbeknownst to you, Law stood outside the door, having cracked it open slightly after he slammed it, curious if you were going to curse him out but his mind fell silent as he listened to you fall apart and blame yourself. A curiosity filled him as you silently wept, your soft whimpers and sniffles clenching around his heart like a fiery grip.

He stalked off to his office after a few more moments, unable to listen any longer to your tears. His mind raced as he tried to think of reasons why you'd blamed yourself, wondering just how bad Eustass Kid broke you for you to get to this point.

He was determined to find out everything, the curiosity growing almost desperately. Every piece of information you could give him about Kid gave Law a step up in the race to becoming the Pirate King, and he decided then he would rip the information out of you if he had to.

A little smirk washed over Law's lips as he thought about it. He was the Surgeon Of Death, wasn't he? Adding you to the crew's roster was mostly a chance to gain any information on Kid and even though Law felt some form of affection for you, his priorities were in order and you were not one, romantically at least. Not that you had to know.

After all, if you'd lost your loyalty to Kid over a little heartbreak, what's to say you wouldn't do the same to him? Law rationalized with himself over and over, ignoring the slight gnawing in his stomach at the thought of manipulating you, instead hardening his heart over and over while trying to silence his mind.

Sometimes he hated the sheer amount of empathy he felt for you.

“Look.”

Kid glances off to the side of the ship where Killer points, his brow ridge furrowing as he takes in the bright yellow submarine that breaks through the waves. He gives a grunt, rolling his eyes before turning away from the sub to take in his crew.

“You all know what your duties are. Those staying on the ship, keep her safe. Those heading to shore, you've got til sundown to be back.”

He gives a nod toward shore just as the Polar Tang settles into a stop, dropping anchor far enough away that Kid questions if that shitty Trafalgar could see the Victoria Punk from their position.

“What do we do about-” Bubblegum is cut off by Killer, who raises a sharp hand and shakes his head. Bubblegum gives him an understanding nod before heading off the ship with Reck, Hip, and UK following behind.

There's a tense silence between Kid, Killer, and the few remaining Kid pirates on deck. Kid's amber eyes narrow as he watches the Heart pirates slowly come out of the sub, lingering on deck before a handful of them jumped ship and began walking towards the same town. Kid grunts again as he takes in the shape of the Heart’s mink, trailing behind a woman who spoke in an animated fashion, her hands moving as if she were telling a story.

It seemed… familiar.

“Is… is that…?”

Kids entire body tenses as Killer murmurs, shock slowly falling over the deck as Dive suddenly shouts, “That's-!”

Not a second later, Kid is jumping off his ship and is rushing towards the mink, ignoring the almost panicked shouts from his crew as his long legs thump against the gravel. His heart races anxiously, getting closer and closer until he's tackled off to the side, shouting angrily as he hits the ground.

“Kid, stop!”

He snarls and lashes out, only to stop as he takes in Killer's mask, mere inches from his face. “Calm down man, think about this.”

Kid goes to reply when he stops and an all too familiar voice calls out from the surrounding trees,

“K-Kid? Killer?”

Both men pull away from each other and look up, both of them surprised and in shock as you stand there, the bear mink just behind you, looking like a nervous wreck.

“Y/N…”

You turn to Bepo and give him a gentle push, telling him to keep going. “I'll catch up.” Bepo looks unconvinced, crossing his arms over his orange jumpsuit and giving you an anxious look as he somehow gets out, “C-captain wouldn't be happy if I-”

You give the mink a dark look, giving him a slight frown as you repeat yourself, “Go on ahead, I'll catch up.”

Kid and Killer stand slowly, watching between you two before Bepo finally gives in, hating to leave you but also not enjoying the look you were giving him. He glares at the two men before finally turning to walk away, though he walks back towards the sub instead, which makes you frown a little deeper.

You turn back to your ex love and Captain, an ache in your chest that felt like a fiery grip and it took you a good moment to finally speak up, your tone curt and to the point.

“... I'm glad you guys are okay.”

Kid bristles, a snarl on his lips though the pain in his eyes spoke louder.

“Bullshit.”

You flinch at the harshness of Kids words, your eyes downcast for a moment as you bite back,

“It's not.”

Killer decides to step in, mediating the situation by genuinely commenting,

“You're lookin’ good, Y/N.”

There's a small smile on your lips at that though it disappears as quickly as it came. You give a slight shrug before replying back,

“I'm…” You struggle to find the right words. “alive, I suppose.”

You look back to Kid and the look on his face makes you want to disappear into the dirt beneath your feet.

“... you fuckin’ left.”

Your heart lurches at Kid's words, one of your hands unconsciously gripping over your heart as you snapped back sadly, “You fuckin’ cheated.”

Kid at least has the mind to look guilty, his arms crossing over his chest as he huffs out a sigh. “... I fucked up, Y/N.” He stares you down as he bites out, “‘M sorry.”

Fury rose in your chest at his apology, the pain you'd felt for the last over half a year finally rising in your throat as you unleashed all your hurt onto him. “You're sorry? You took some whore into our bed, abandoned me on a random fucking island and you're SORRY?!”

Both men take a slight step back, not expecting the absolute rage bursting from your entire form. Kid sneers slightly, trying not to lose his temper as you continue, “You left me behind! You fucking promised me you'd never leave me behind, and then you did. How am I supposed to forgive you?”

Kid huffs and snarks back, “Like this, ‘I forgive you, let's go home’, that's not so goddamn difficult, is it?” His voice goes a few octaves higher when mimicking you which only infuriates you more.

“That easy, eh?! Just so easy for you to welcome me back and what, I just forget it even happened and that you didn't absolutely destroy my heart?!” You picked up a few rocks and began throwing them at Kid, the redhead having to pull his metal hand up to protect his face from your wicked aim. “You! Left! Me! Behind!”

“Y/N, just listen to him!”

You give a scream of outrage towards Killer and whip a rock at him as well, furious at the way he slices it into dust. “You said you weren't going to make excuses for him, so why are you doing it now?!”

Killer then holds his hands up, palms towards you as he asks sharply, “Just listen! No one is making any excuses!”

You throw one more and he catches it, throwing it back so hard it whizzes past your face, slicing a small cut into your cheek. Tears blind you as you scream back, “What did I do to deserve that?!”

“Nothing, goddamnit!”

You wipe at your eyes when Kid shouts, his body shaking in barely contained anger as he continues, “I fucked up! You didn't do anything wrong, I did. I took advantage of your love and I'm fucking sorry, okay?!”

You throw another rock at him and it hits his goggles, cracking the right eye. He doesn't move, continuing to stare you down as he pours his soul out to you.

“I fucked up, I fucked up by fucking some random bitch and ignoring how that shit would've made you feel, I left you behind because you made your choice to fucking run away instead of knockin’ some fuckin’ sense into me so I thought you just… didn't love me.”

Your tears came back full force, your brows furrowing as a weak sob leaves your lips. You go to retort when he cuts you off with an almost depressed,

“But I can't fuckin’ live without you.”

You crossed your arms, trying to keep your heart from further cracking and falling apart. “Kid…” You start, only to stop as he takes a few, slow steps closer as he continues,

“I can't breathe without you, I can't fuckin’ sleep, I can't wake up another goddamn day without you because you are my everything, you are my treasure.”

You stay put as he steps closer still, only a few feet from you that you could reach out and touch him. You're half tempted to punch him but remain unmoved, simply staring up at him with sad eyes.

“Y/N… babe, please…”

Your eyes widen slightly, unable to ignore the tug your soul gave towards his. He rarely, if ever, said please, especially like the way he did just now. Tears well up in your eyes again as he whispers,

“Please come home.”

In a flash, there's a blue swirl around him and he's teleported back to where he stood before, his ass hitting the ground beside Killer as a shout of confusion leaves him.

“Y/N-ya.”

You freeze, panic settling under your skin as you slowly turn to your now Captain, a cross-armed Bepo not far behind him. You sigh a disappointed “tsk…”, giving Bepo a betrayed look before you reply to your Captain with a blank look.

“Sir.”

Kid and Killer both sneer at Law, furious with how smug the scrawny Captain looked. You flinch slightly as Law lays a heavy hand on your shoulder, staring down at you with a thinly veiled warning in his eyes as he politely demanded,

“I'd rather you go back to the ship-”

Kid immediately cuts Law off with a shout of,

“She's comin’ back home, you stupid brick for brains! You-”

Law smirks and summons a room with one hand, the other still tightly gripping your shoulder and you wince, turning in his grasp as best you can to place your hands on Law's chest, giving a slight push as you beg,

“Let them go! Stop it, stop it!”

Law looks back down to you, something unreadable in his gray eyes as you plead for his mercy. “Y/N-ya…”

“Law, please...”

Killer frowns behind his mask, wondering if he was just seeing things or if maybe there was something between you and the Heart Pirate Captain. The way Law looked at you was eerily similar to the way both him and Kid would look at you, like you were an immeasurable treasure, and it infuriated him.

“Y/N.”

You turn back to Kid, eyes watering as you nearly sobbed out, “Please, just go…”

Kid shakes his head with a deep frown on his lips, getting into a fighting position and activating his magnesis, metal hand out towards you as he barks out,

“You're coming home, babe. This little twig ain't gonna stop me from bringin’ you back where you belong.”

“Room!”

At that, Law's hand moves to wrap around your waist and the room activates, surrounding you, him and Bepo in a shroud of blue. “Law, stop! No, please!” Law only tugs you closer, ignoring your half-hearted fists thumping against his tattooed chest.

You feel a familiar tug in the middle of your chest, the feeling causing you to glance down and it's then you remember putting your old harness on this morning under your boiler suit. A wicked grin comes across your face and with every inch of strength you can muster, you shove Law away and shout out,

“Kid, now!”

In a flash, you fly backwards just as Law's hand reaches out to snatch you back, his fingertips just grazing the front of your suit. There was a hint of fear in his eyes as you flew back, though it disintegrates into fury as your back slams into Kid's chest.

A thick, flesh arm wraps around you and there's an overwhelming sense of joy that rushes through you as Kid gruffly promises you, “I got you, babe. I got you.”

Metal hand still outstretched and Killers blades spinning furiously in defense in case Law tried something, the Kid Pirates slowly moved back, making sure to be aware of their surroundings as they stepped away.

“Y/N-ya. I'm disappointed.”

You cling to Kid's arm, glaring back at Law as he speaks.

“I saved your life, and this is how you repay me?” There's a crazed look in Law's eyes as he steps forward, ignoring the warning snarl that Kid gives him as he holds you close. “I took you in, gave you a home, held your hand when you cried and this… this is how you repay all my kindness…?”

You're quick to bite back, “I didn't ASK for you to save me, or help me, or hold my hand, you did that because YOU wanted to! Don’t act like you didn't use me as a fucking pawn!”

Law's head tilts down slightly, the brim of his spotted hat covering his eyes in darkness as he gives an almost exaggerated sigh. He then summons a small room, a soft “Shambles,” leaving his lips and fear grips you as you take in the sight of a heart in one of those strange, blue-ish cubes sitting in his palm.

Tears filled your eyes as you turn in Kid's grasp, looking up at him and throwing your arms around his neck as you sob out, “I love you, I'm so sorry, I love you, I love you-”

Pure agony ripples through your entire body as Law squeezes the heart in his hand, a sadistic smirk on his lips as he calls out, “Did you really think I'd let a Kid Pirate waltz around my ship without some sort of contingency plan?” He squeezes it again and you sob out in pain, clinging to a now anxious Kid.

“Oi, oi! What the hell is that?!” Kid shouts, holding you tightly to him, his flesh hand cradling the back of your head. Killer sneers out, “Is that… her heart?!”

Law chuckles, giving the cube a small bounce in his hand before giving it another hefty squeeze. Your legs give out and Kid is stuck holding your limp body, the pain causing you to black out. Killer moves quick, blades spinning like a tornado but stops just short of slicing Law's head off as the spotted covered man holds a small blade to the heart box, the tip just sinking into the jello like blob.

One of Killer's blades rests not a millimeter from Law's neck, the masked man's eyes wide behind it. Law raises an eyebrow at him, sinking the blade into the blob just a bit more and Kid shouts, “Stop! Stop, you'll kill her, you fuckin’ psycho!”

Kid looks down at you in his arms, blood slowly seeping through your boiler suit where your heart would rest had it not been in Law's hand. Kid rests his metal hand over your chest and closes his eyes, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours as he murmurs, “I love ya, treasure.” He presses his lips to yours for what he hopes isn't the last time, laying your body down and taking a step back.

“... you'd rather kill her than let her come back with us.” Kid's words came out bland, broken but on point. Law's smirk widens, his head tilting slightly as he replies, “Obviously. She's a liability, one that I can't afford for you to gain back.”

Killer finally lowers his blade, taking a few steps back before he nearly hisses at Law, “You're a goddamn freak, you know that?”

Law simply chuckled darkly, giving a wide-eyed grin to Killer as he snaps back, “I am the Surgeon Of Death, aren't I?”

“S-stop it…”

All eyes fall back to you. You're struggling to sit up, tears blinding your vision as you breathlessly beg, “Just… stop it…”

Kid steps closer to you, only to stop as you cough up a sizable amount of blood, your suit and the ground splattered with your life essence. You try to catch your breath, looking up to Kid with a doe eyed sadness as you barely get out,

“I love you.”

Law's heart clenches in his chest, furious that you had the audacity to still spill your heart out to your ex lover, the one that took advantage of all your love. Was he not enough for you? Was his obsession with you not enough for you to want to stay with him? He gave you everything you asked for, and yet here you were, half dead, and you were still singing praises to goddamn Eustass Kid.

Fury overtook the second-guessed pain in Law's chest as Kid earnestly replies to you,

“I love ya, Y/N. I never stopped looking for you.”

Law sneered, taking a deep breath before his hand moved, the dagger sliding into the blob like a hot knife through butter. Your eyes rolled back as Kid shouted, watching as your body fell limp, your back hitting the stained gravel.

Killer gave a shout of disbelief and immediately started slicing at Law again, sword meeting scythe as they hit back and forth for a bit. Bepo went to fight as well when he suddenly felt his mini den den in his pocket rumble.

“Captain! We're ready to ship off!”

Law grins darkly and slices at Killer with a surgeons precision, right down the chest though not deep enough to kill the guy. Law had enough blood on his hands for the day.

“Room!”

Law watches as Kid sinks to his knees, pulling your slowly dying frame to his chest, his flesh hand wiping away hair from your face as he leans down to press a shaky kiss to your lips. Your own weak hand cups his scarred cheek, wiping away the unwilling tears from his eyes as you both murmur your love for each other.

“Captain?”

Law looks over to an anxious Bepo before finally, bitterly, biting out a furious,

“Shambles.”

Random newspapers fluttered over the ground where the two once stood. There was a cold, empty silence as Killer slowly stands, large hand covering the wound on his chest as he slightly limps over to his Captain.

Kid's form shakes slightly as he whispers down to you. A loving smile rests on your lips as you blink slowly up at him, your hand tracing over his face as if preserving it to memory. “I love ya so much, I'm so sorry,” Kid murmurs over and over, bitter and angry tears rushing down his cheeks.

“I love you, Red.”

Kid hisses out a sob, his teeth clenched together so tight he swore they would shatter in his mouth.

“I love you, and I forgive you.”

Kid's head falls to your bloodied chest, his breathing panicked as he holds you tighter. ‘This isn't happening, this is all a bad dream, just a bad dream,’ he thinks to himself, trying to ignore the warmth of your blood tinting his skin.

“It's okay my love,” your voice is a whisper as you grin into his hair. “You brought me back home.”

Killer weeps silently behind his mask as he kneels down, running a gloved hand over your hair soothingly. You flash him a loving smile as you murmur lastly,

“You… are my home.”

Your hand stops carding through Kid's hair and it's then that they know you're gone. “ I love you, I love you, come back, come back,” Kid begs into your boiler suit, his words muffled by the fabric. His hands cling to you, willing for your soul to return to your body as he sobs out.

Killer rests over Kid, holding his best friend like a life line as they both quietly weep over your body, hating that the world would continue to turn while you would sleep for the rest of their lives.

It's late that night, after the town had gone to sleep that the Kid Pirates gathered on the shore, a deep hole dug in the grass just off the sand. Every member stood, holding a candle and a metal flower, watching with teary eyes with some clinging to each other as your body was laid into the ground.

Kid was the last to place a flower down, brushing hair from your face one last time as he breathlessly begged, “Wake up.” He knew you would not wake, but he repeated himself regardless. “Just wake up.”

He almost jumps when a heavy hand lands on his shoulder, pulling him from his broken vision as he glances up to a silent Killer. After a moment, they both nod and stand, finally filling the grave.

Once it was covered, Killer gives Kid a slight shake, trying to keep the red head grounded as he admits softly,

“I think she'd be happy to be buried here. You picked a beautiful spot.”

Kid sniffles, a blank expression on his face as he sadly drawls out, “Nothin’ but the best for my girl.”

Killer gives him another shake before patting his shoulder and walking back towards the ship with the rest of the crew. Kid stays a little longer, his flesh hand gripping tightly around the necklace he'd made for you when he finally made you his. You may have died with it on, but he was going to live with it around his neck until the day he dies.

As Kid turns from your grave, he takes a few steps before glancing at it one last time. “... I'm gonna make you proud, babe. Just you watch, I'm gonna make you proud to be mine.” He brings the necklace to his lips for a chaste kiss before slinging it over his neck, the small rose resting over his chest and warming his skin.

He finally walks away, determination lit anew in his heart. The second he hits the deck, he promises the crew,

“Trafalgar Law will pay for this. I won't rest until his body is 12 feet under, which means we need to catch up to him.” Kid slides into his Captains chair and snarls towards the seas. “The second we find them, I'm going to crush his stupid fucking submarine like a cola can, with him and all his fucking crew inside.”

The Kid Pirates shout in agreement, raising their weapons as they scream out,

“For Y/N!”

Kid leans back and grunts tiredly, keeping his expression furious as he bites out,

“For Y/N.”

Kid can't find it in him to look back towards the shore as they pull away. His flesh hand grips around the necklace for a second and he swears he can still smell your perfume as his eyes slide shut.

Eustass Kid was not in the business of losing, but he knew truly, he'd lost not only the fight against Trafalgar, but a piece of himself as he laid you into the ground.

As Killer slides a beer into his hand, Kid chugs half of it back before slamming the bottle down onto the chairs arm. “Never again, Kil,” he starts, promising his best friend with a clink of the bottle against his. “I'm never gonna make a mistake like that again.”

Killer simply stays silent, his head turned towards the shore to watch as your grave slowly disappears from sight.

“Never again.”

[hiverphub]

hey everyone its been a bit, i just wanted to give u guys a bit of an update ! ive been feeling a little better though irl stuff is just been stressing me the hell out primarily. i have been thinking abt popping in for a bit but i think im gonna do like a hard reset on all my blogs. this means wiping them clean but also kind of have a bit of a restart on interactions and ships and whatnot. i just dont feel comfortable coming back after awhile and just feel very out of place. speaking abt ships, im gonna try and be more strict with myself and limit my romantic ships. dont get me wrong i love my shipping but i feel like ive just been focusing too much on it. this wont mean im not open to it but ill be A LOT more selective with it. familial, platonic, etc. ships are still very much open tho !!

i think thats pretty much it, i think what ill try and do is focus on my OC blog for a bit before spreading to my more fandom focused blogs !! so please follow @hivemuse if you are interested! thank u guys so so much for your patience!! im still very low activity on discord atm but feel free to message me over there or on here if u guys have any questions and ill try and get back to u when i can!!! ty again and hope to see u guys soon!!

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

[yo i sent this ask in a while back and you never responded. i am trying again to see if it just never hit inbox. i wrote the fic ask. unfortunately i don't have a full copy of the ask i sent in rip]

really like the ideas, unfortunately can't focus on writing it proper rn because life just hit me in the face but what i can do is come up with before and after artefacts

the goal? piss off the monkey duo with each artefact added[to encourage yandere endgame]:

before phoenix stone: reader and the monkeys would be more likely to cuddle for warmth, like how a monkey troop would i assume

after phoenix stone: less cuddles, there's always a fire and it's sometimes a bit too warm to have 2 monkey cubs on you. when the weather gets colder or if the fire “accidentally” goes out reader would probably be more willing for cuddles

before forest stone: reader had to patch up any monkey injuries by hand, and that means check-ups from time to time. lots of one-on-one attention that spirit really can't protest about without making herself look bad. reader cuddles the pain away? they could also fetch reader plants and flowers to help and impress reader. after all, she doesn't recognise most of these plants after all.

after forest stone: less follow-ups on injuries, because while it's slow i assume the healing is still done in one go for minor injuries. potentially less contact while healing? idk how the stone works. less cuddle the pain away and more cuddle the scare away i guess? reader can grow what she wants, and what is the difference aesthetic-wise between a flower in the wild and a flower grown by the stone? i assume stone-grown flower has fewer marks because wildlife don't have a chance to nibble on them or it to be damaged by the weather. reader would still appreciate gifts from them though, but will their pride let their gifts be outdone by a stone?

before shield amulet: reader holds them close and puts herself between threats while spirit deals with minor threats and i assume helps run from major threats

after shield amulet: separated by the shield! she's inside and they're stuck outside, or worse they're stuck inside and she is left vulnerable outside with only spirit to protect her! insert extreme rage when reader gets hit and the shield goes down

before the glamor mask: they get to look at reader all day and see her face and always see her smile

after glamour mask: why can't we find reader? why can't we see reader's lovely face?

i wrote an idea as well but i didn't keep a copy of it rip. it was something along the lines of reader making a flower crown using the plants they could grow using forest stone and giving the two cubs crowns, and jokingly calling them your highness, only for the two cubs to crown reader with their crowns or make their own crown for reader i don't remember.

at least i think it was? i don't remember anymore.

I have both of these asks. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to. Had a lot going on these past few days. And I thank you for your patience.

I decided for this ask I'll write a few short scenes. I hope you like them. Sorry this one took so long. I mean seriously it took me way too long to complete this.

It's ready! Sorry about the wait and all. For the second time!

Before the Phoenix Stone -

You wrapped your cloak around yourself as you tried to hold in as much warmth as possible. Underneath, you held both Peaches and Plums close to your chest. Luckily, neither of them seemed too cold as they soaked up and produced body heat.

Of course, you could hear their chirps as they poked their heads out of the fabric to look around. They didn't like not being able to see their surroundings, they had made that clear. However they also didn't want to leave the warmth of your cloak. At least that's what you though.

In reality, being warm was only part of the reason that they clung to you. The majority of the reason was because... they hated being away from you. Snuggling up to your chest after taking a look outside, they both purred.

Your heart gently thumping next to them. It was peaceful. A low hum leaving your lips as you tried to distract yourself from the cold.

"You alright?" Spirit asked, a worried look covering her face.

"Yeah... i-it's just c-cold," you respond, noting how Spirit didn't seem bothered at all by the weather.

"Here," Spirit said taking her cloak off and giving you another layer of warmth.

"W-What a-about y-you?" You asked, your eyes narrowing slightly.

Spirit waved you off with a grin, "I'm fine. My fur is thick this time of year. I'm more bothered by the heat than the cold."

'Good, then maybe you'll leave us alone when we take Reader home,' Wukong thought to himself as he glanced up out of your cloak again.

"T-thanks," you smiled before checking the two monkeys clinging to you who didn't mind the extra warmth.

"No problem," Spirit grinned before shooting a discreet glare at the small golden monkey.

Wukong for his part sent her a glare right back. Macaque decided not to participate in favor of pressing his ears against her chest to listen to her heartbeat. It was soothing and calming. Relaxing in her hold he didn't bother arguing with anyone. Spirit would be a fool to try to take them away from Reader, after all that would make her look really bad.

After The Phoenix Stone

*chrip* *chirp*

Plum chirped as he tried to jump into your arms, only for you to grip his scruff gently and set him back on your shoulder. Which caused him to let out a quiet hiss.

"It's too hot for that," you muttered as you sat away from the roaring fire.

After struggling to get it lite for over an hour you were finally able to get the stone to get warm enough to light a spark. However in doing so, because you didn’t know how to properly use it you also felt your wings grow out of your back. Which results in the extra heat that always emits from the large, red, orange and yellow wings. To you the heat was almost unbearable at times. On the bright side at least you weren’t freezing and you were all able to sit around the fire even if you weren’t able to escape the heat now.

“It’s too hot for anything. Can’t you get rid of the wings? I know that you need more heat than me but seriously,” Spirit asked, as she sprawled out on the ground panting as she sat as far away from the fire as she could. Without being to far to protect you in case of danger.

“Not sure how,” You muttered a flush appearing on your face. If it had just been the wings it wouldn’t be too bad, but the wings combined with the fire that you set was hot.

The Phoenix Stone was honestly a pain at times. You couldn’t activate it when it was too cold, you couldn’t make the wings go away even when it was cold. It made no sense!! You grumbled, before laying on the ground with a huff. Both of the monkeys jumped onto your stomach from your shoulders and laid down to cuddle. However as soon as they did you picked them up and set them beside you.

“It’s too hot,” You muttered.

A growl left both of the cubs. They walked up on all fours and tried to hop back up only to be set back on the ground. Peaches chirped angrily before sitting on the ground back to you in retaliation.

“Quite whining,” Spirit grumbled as she turned over trying to sleep.

Before The Forest Stone

*Chirp* *Chirp*

Plums chirped as he looked over Peaches who had a thin scratch across his arm. You were fretting over him worriedly, but weren’t absolutely loosing it because you knew it wasn’t deep. However the monkey was being overly dramatic, even Plums could tell if his eye roll had anything to say about it.

“Calm down. I know it’s not that bad,” You chuckle as you cuddled him to your chest. He let out dramatic chirps and continued to wiggle around in your lap.

Carefully, you took a long piece of fabric from your bag. The cloth wasn't exactly designed for bandaging any sort of wound, but you would make do with what you had. Besides, as you had thought before, the wound wasn't bad.

Wrapping it around his arm the Monkey looked at you with a wagging tail. Though his ears were pushed down as he attempted to look hurt.

"Is that better?" You asked with a smile.

The monkey in question then chirped and held his injured arm up. With a chuckle you gave it a few kisses. Nuzzling your face against his you grinned happily. He was so cute.

Suddenly you felt a slap on your head, a tiny slap but a slap non the less. Looking over you saw Plums pouting his six ears downcast as he looked up at you with practiced puppy eyes.

"Oh my sweety, there's enough kisses for you too," you laugh lifting up the Monkey to give him a few kisses on the face.

Which of course resulted in more chirps from Peaches. And more kisses for both of them.

After The Forest Stone

After the forest stone whenever you would patch them up. You would give them less after cuddles and they hated this.

As for the shield stone and glamour mask? Well those are actually for later and I don't want to spoil the surprise more than I have with my last post. ‘Anger’. Hehe 😏

Flower Crowns

“Lalala,” You were softly singing, something you didn’t normally do.

You hated singing in front of others but right now, you were happy to sing while the two cubs sat beside you as you wove flowers together. You had already completed one made of dandelions and was now working one made out of lavender. They weren’t very good but it was still quite fun to make them.

*Chirp?*

Looking down, Plums was looking up at you with a curious look on his face as you finished up the lavender crown. A wide smile covering your face.

“And done,” You said with a giddy smile.

That caught Peaches’ attention causing him to look over your shoulder. Setting both crowns on your lap you gently picked up Peaches and set him next to Plums. Which of course resulted in a small growl from the cub. You couldn’t help but laugh at the gesture.

“Here you go. Dandelions for Peaches and lavender for Plums,” You grinned as you gently set the crowns atop their heads.

Immediately the two looked at each other and then tried to look up at themselves to see the crown. You couldn’t help but laugh at the antics that they did. They were so cute!

"Two crowns for two little kings."

Their tails started wagging excitedly as they looked up at you with wide eyes. Peaches jumped into your lap and nuzzled against you. Yes he was a king weather little or his warlord form. He was the mightiest king.

Plums let out several chirps that only his companion understood. It only made Peaches nuzzle into you more. 'She says we're her kings once we return to normal... then we can make her our Queen.'

Yes what a splendid idea! They would make you their Queen. In fact why should they even have to wait? As Great Kings now all they needed to do was crown you. A crown of roses, you mentioned how you loved the pretty red roses.

But they didn't have any roses.... oh that'll work!

With a swift movement both monkeys jumped on your shoulders causing you to chuckle. Before a pout formed on your face when they removed their crowns. Did they not like them?

Oh... both crowns were set atop your head though they were too small for you. You couldn't help bit laugh at the gesture before they both leaned down. You couldn't help but give them each a little kiss on the cheek.

"I guess I'm the Queen then," you laugh. Unaware of the intentions of the two tiny warlords that sat on your shoulders.

"Hey Reader! You ready to go?" Spirit called out as she walked back up to you.

She held a bowl of water in her hand for you that you gratefully drank before following her lead.

Okay!! I think this time this will work right! I wrote the rest of it on my notes app!

Anyways I hope you enjoy, sorry it was shorter than I planned however it gave me a pain in the ass. So hope you enjoy!!

Send me opinions and asks all you want. Nothing is forbidden so throw it at me. 💗

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

For What You've Done

AI-Less Whumptober 2024: Day 4. non-consensual body modifications Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Past Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader, witch!reader, f!reader Summary: Five months ago, the love of your life was killed in a car accident. In the aftermath of Jake's death, you and Rooster lean on each other to deal with your grief and soon become a couple. So when you suggest a camping trip together, Rooster agrees. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Word Count: 5773 TW: Main Character Death, Whump, Non-Consensual Body Modifications, Witchcraft, Car Crash, Drugged, Resurrection, Betrayal, Possession, Vomiting, Language  Notes: A huge thanks to @sunlightmurdock for beta reading this! 💗 Part of @ailesswhumptober's event!

“Now can you tell me why it was so important we came to this spot on this night? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for spending a few days camping under the stars with you, but the middle of the week when it’s supposed to be fucking freezing isn’t maybe the ideal time.”

Bradley glances over at the passenger seat of his Bronco where you are currently gazing out the window at the trees flashing by. 

You turn your head towards him with a smile and take his hand from where it is leaning on the armrest between your two seats. Giving it a tight squeeze, you say, “I told you, it’s a surprise. But I promise, it’ll be worth it, you just have to trust me.”

“You know I do.” Bradley’s eyes have returned to the almost non-existent road in front of him, but he raises your hand to his lips and places a quick kiss on the back of it. You giggle softly as his mustache brushes against your skin and he wiggles it to make you giggle again.

Bradley’s heart soars seeing you this happy again, even if these moments are fleeting. Before the accident, you seemed to carry the sunshine with you everywhere you went. Your light filled up every room you entered and no one seemed able to be in a bad mood when you were around. However, these last five months…

As if reading his mind, you slip your hand from his and slide it up his cheek until you run your fingers through his hair. “Hey, I know this between us is still new and I’m still struggling with everything that happened to…” You close your eyes and swallow hard as if his name is caught in your throat, still unable to pass your lips. But then you open your eyes and continue, “But I wouldn’t have made it through it without you. Your patience, your support, your love…you’ve been amazing, Bradley. And I just hope you know that what happens tonight, it’s all because of you.”

He gives you a small smile. “I know I’m not him and I’m never going to try to replace what you had, but I’m really happy we found our way to each other. I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you either, sweetheart. But we did it…together. And as long as we’re together, I know it’ll be okay.”

“Together,” you hum, your fingers continuing to run through his curls. “I love hearing you say that because I plan on you being by my side for the rest of our lives.”

There is something about that statement that scratches at the back of Bradley’s brain. Maybe it’s your choice of words or the slightly serious tone your voice suddenly dropped into. 

But before he can consider it further, you perk up in your seat and point out the window. “There! Pull over there! This is the spot.”

Bradley doesn’t see anything special about the place other than a slight clearing in the trees on the right side of the road—just big enough for him to park the Bronco. But, he promised to trust you on this excursion, so he did as you asked.

Once he is parked, the two of you grab your backpacks, sleeping bags, cooler of food, and the tent from the back. You promise it’s not a long walk so you take everything in one trip. After about five minutes of trudging through dense underbrush, unruly trees, and hidden roots, the two of you stumble into a clearing. 

The space is maybe twenty feet across in a roughly circular shape. All of the foliage is suspiciously missing from this space even though it doesn’t seem like it was cleared necessarily. More like it just grew this way. As Bradley glances up, he sees another sort of circular opening in the treetops above, giving him a clear view of the sky as the sun begins to set. 

The place has a strange energy and a chill goes up Bradley’s spine as a sudden wind blows through the clearing. But before he can say anything, you whisper an awed, “We’re here.”

There are tears in your eyes and you begin to bounce slightly as you gaze around. You let out a soft squeal, then compose yourself. Turning to Bradley, you say, “It’s going to get dark soon and we have a lot to do before then. Can you go gather up some firewood? We’ll need a lot to keep it going throughout the night.”

Bradley nods slowly, still not completely sure what he has gotten himself into. “Yeah. I’ll see what I can do. Do you think you can put the tent together by yourself?”

“Oh, I have something else to get ready before that. It’s your surprise,” you say with a wink. “But we can put the tent together when you finish with the wood.”

Deciding to just go along for now, Bradley sighs. “Whatever you say, sweetheart. This is your trip. I’m just along for the ride.” He kisses the top of your head then heads off into the woods.

Thirty minutes later, there is a towering pile of sticks in the center of the clearing. Bradley isn’t sure why you wanted him to put them there considering you wanted to keep most of them for later in the night, but once again, he didn’t question it. However, it did strike him as odd that you seem to have not really done much while he’s been gone. You’ve taken a few smaller bags out of your backpack and laid out some clothes, but that’s it. Meanwhile, he’s been working up a sweat trudging all over collecting wood. 

At least when he brought back his final bundle you gave him a cold water bottle and a kiss on the lips. He downs the bottle as you return to whatever it is you are up to. 

As he watches, everything begins to blur around the edges of his vision. 

He blinks a few times and rubs his eyes, but the blurring only begins getting worse. And what’s more, he’s feeling light-headed. It feels just like that moment in his plane where the Gs get too intense and he begins to blackout. But why would that be happening now?

Stumbling slightly, Bradley mutters, “Sw-sweetheart…I think…I think I need to sit down for a minute. I might’ve overdone it with the w-wood.” 

The next thing he knows, his world spins ninety degrees as he crashes to his side on the clearing floor. He tries to sit up, but every part of him is made of lead and he doesn’t have the strength to even lift his hand. His vision is no longer just blurry, it's starting to tunnel into darkness. He can just make out your feet as they step into his line of sight.

 With the toe of your sneaker, you kick his shoulder so he rolls over onto his back. He’s now staring up at the pinkish-purple sky framed by a circle of treetops.

Then, your face peers over, blocking everything else from view. A cruel grin—one unlike any he had ever seen on your face—stretches across your lips. “No, Bradley, that’s just the drugs I slipped in your water kicking in. I have work to do and I need you to stay out of my way while I do it. So enjoy your little nappy-nap. I’ll see you when you wake up…or maybe not.”

Before Bradley can process what is happening, he is swallowed by the darkness.

Bradley was eyeing the couple in the corner, trying to decide if it was his job to step in or if he should leave them be. After all, this was far from the first time you and Hangman had one—or three—too many drinks on your night off and gotten too handsy for a public establishment. At the moment, things were still fairly tame, but Bradley knew from experience that could change in an instant. Last month, he and Coyote had to drag the two of you out of the bar after Penny complained about the near-pornographic sounds coming from her back booth. 

It had been the last straw. After putting up with your drunken hanky-panky since the two of you started dating ten months ago, Penny finally put her foot down and swore if it happened again, you would both be banned. And as much as it would please Bradley to see Hangman’s face when he sobered up and found out he was no longer allowed at The Hard Deck, Bradley knew the whole squad would be bummed if they lost one of its members for their weekly hangouts. Plus, he had come to really enjoy your presence among the group (that was when you weren’t plastered and attached to Hangman’s lap). So, somewhat reluctantly, Bradley stood and walked over to your table.

Neither one of you seemed to notice him as he approached. You were too busy jamming your tongues down the other’s throat. But Bradley sighed and clapped his hands, startling you apart. “Come on, you lovebirds. Time to go home.”

Hangman’s eyes were slightly out of focus as he shifted you slightly on his lap so he could glare up at Bradley. “Aw, come on, Bradshaw. Just because you aren’t gettin’ any doesn’t mean you have to spoil our fun.”

You giggled into Hangman’s neck and Bradley swore he saw you lick his skin before mumbling, “Don’t be mean, Jakey. Maybe Bradley just wants to watch.”

“No. Bradley definitely doesn’t want to watch,” he groaned. Crossing his arms over his chest, Bradley said, “Look, I have an early morning meeting with Cyclone tomorrow so I’ve got to get some sleep. But Penny’s already threatened to kick you out and I’m not going to let one of you drunk idiots drive home.”

“Jake’s drunk, I’m fine,” you grinned. You slid off Jake and straightened up to prove your point, but the slight sway in your stance only served to further Bradley’s assessment. 

He sighed again, pressing his fingers to his eyes. “Sweetheart, I can smell the booze on your breath from over here and something tells me you wouldn’t make it to the bar without falling over. I’m driving you. End of discussion.”

You pouted, your bottom lip jutting off your face in a way Bradley had to admit was adorable, but it didn’t sway him. He held out his hand and, after a moment, you rolled your eyes and dug your keys out of your pocket. Slamming them into Bradley’s open palm, you stuck out your tongue at him. But then you gave him a clumsy wink and he knew even if you did remember tonight, you wouldn’t hold it against him. 

Walking ahead, Bradley patiently held open the door as Jake and you stumbled across the room, each leaning heavily against the other in a mess of limbs and slobbery kisses. When you made it to your truck, Jake helped you climb into the back, his hands roaming across your ass far longer than necessary as he pushed you up the tall step. Then he dragged himself into the front seat and closed the door. 

“Seat belts.” Bradley waited for a second but neither of you made a move to follow his instructions. Sighing, he said, “I’m not going anywhere until both of you put on your seat belts.”

“Yes, Mom,” both of you mocked in unison before collapsing into a fit of drunken laughter, but at least he heard both belts click into place.

As he drove towards Hangman’s house (where you had moved in a few months ago), the two of you continued your slurred dirty talk, occasionally throwing nonsensical jabs in Bradley’s direction for making you leave early. Normally, he might have tried to fire a few back, but it was too much fun listening to Hangman smugly say something he thought was so clever only for it to be nearly incomprehensible in actuality. Bradley couldn’t help but laugh at a few particularly bad ones.

He never saw the other truck run the red light.

It slammed into the passenger’s door, sending your truck spinning out of control as broken glass filled the air. Bradley tried to control the steering wheel as it jerked in his hands, but his head smashed into his door and he blacked out.

He came to a few moments later—his vision blurred and his head pounding—to the sound of you screaming from the back seat. “No! Jake! Nooo!”

Apparently, nothing sobers a person up quicker than seeing their greatest fear come to life in front of their eyes. 

Bradley slowly raised his eyes to the rearview mirror, a fresh stab of pain driving through his head, and looked back at you. With blood pouring down your face from where your head slammed into the seat in front of you, you thrashed around for a moment until you managed to unbuckle your seatbelt. Ignoring the glass covering the interior of the truck, you pulled yourself forward between the two front seats and crawled into Jake’s lap. 

It was only then that Bradley got his first look at his other passenger and he immediately wished he hadn’t. 

All it took was one glance to see that Jake Seresin was dead. 

Between the unnatural bend of his neck where the seatbelt still dug into his skin and the glassy, blank stare in his once-spirited green eyes, Rooster knew his wingman was gone. There was nothing anyone could do to save him.

However, you apparently refused to accept that.

Laying your head on his shoulder, you begged, “Baby, please, wake up. Don’t do this. Come back to me. Please, Jake.” 

You placed your hand on his cheek and gently tried to turn his face to look at you. His head flopped unnaturally far backward and Bradley felt bile bubble in his throat that he struggled to keep down. 

Your eyes grew wide as your bottom lip began to tremble. “No, no, no, Jake, no. Please, baby, I love you. You can’t—you can’t—no!” You sobbed and buried your face in his chest.

Bradley heard you muttering something under your breath, but he couldn’t make out what it was. It almost sounded like something in another language but not one he recognized. He began to worry that your head injury might be worse than he initially thought.

He softly called out your name and began to reach out to touch your shoulder, to try and move you off the corpse of the man you loved. Yet before he could, your head shot up. Your eyes darted across Jake’s face once more, almost as if you expected something had changed in the last few seconds. But when you saw that it hadn’t, your mouth opened wide and you let out an ear-splitting, heart-wrenching wail.

That wail has haunted Bradley ever since that night, and it is that wail that is echoing in his ears as he slowly opens his eyes. He can’t be sure how long he was out, but it has gotten significantly darker since his eyes were last open. Stars dot the midnight blue sky above and a full moon rests perfectly in the center of the clearing opening. Dark shadows stretch and dance against the trees surrounding the clearing, cast by the blazing fire that had materialized while he was unconscious. 

You are standing in front of the fire, muttering something under your breath. As Bradley watches, you toss a handful of powder into the flames which flare deep red for a second before returning to its usual yellow-orange glow. Your flannel shirt and jeans from earlier have been replaced by a flowing black dress that brushes the ground just high enough to reveal your bare feet poking out underneath. 

The clearing floor is littered with broken sticks, burrs, and rocks, and, as you move around the fire, he notices you are leaving a faint bloody trail in your wake. Yet you don’t seem to notice or care as you continue whatever you are doing undeterred by any discomfort. 

Suddenly, Bradley’s stomach lurches and he rolls to his side just in time to vomit, the contents of his stomach spilling across the clearing floor. He heaves a few more times before things settle, and he collapses onto his back once more.

“Ah, good. You’re awake. I was afraid I gave you too much and would have to start without you.”

Bradley turns his head to see you still standing by the fire, but your attention is now fixed on him. Slowly, on trembling arms, he pushes himself to his feet. “What is this? What the fuck are you doing? If this is some kind of game or kinky shit I didn’t know you were into, I don’t like it.”

“Are you really that stupid that you still don’t get it?” you sneer, the cruelty in your voice cutting into his heart like a knife. “Five months ago, the man I loved more than life itself was ripped from my arms because of you. You insisted on driving that night even though I told you I was fine and because of that, Jake is dead. If you had just stayed out of our fucking business, he would still be here with me.” 

No. That’s not what happened. Bradley takes a step toward you. “Sweetheart, tha—”

“I’m not your fucking sweetheart!” you snarl, your eyes burning with a hatred that takes his breath away. “Do you know how repulsive it's been pretending to love you? Letting you touch me, kiss me, all the while despising every atom in your body for what you took from me. The only thing that kept me from strangling you in your sleep was the knowledge I still needed you for my plan to work.”

Bradley’s mind is still groggy from the drugs, but things are finally starting to click together. “So all of it was just a lie? Leaning on each other after Jake’s death? You were just using me? For what? You still haven’t explained what the fuck you’re doing to me!”

You continue on as if he hadn’t spoken, your voice filled with cold fury. “I knew how to get everything I needed. All I was missing was a host. A body for him to return to. But as much as I ached to have my Jake back, I knew I couldn’t take an innocent person’s body. It wouldn’t be fair and he wouldn’t want that. But that’s when it hit me. Why not take the body of the man responsible for Jake losing his? The one who should have died in that crash instead of him? Why was it fair you got to be here when he didn’t? So…I’m going to change that.”

“You’re fucking insane,” Bradley laughs in disbelief, the absurdity of the situation not fully processing in his brain.

Your face softens just a fraction and you scoff lightly. “Jake never told you, did he? Though, honestly, I’m not surprised. I don’t think he ever really believed me when I told him. He thought it was all a joke, a bit of ancient fun family trivia that was all nonsense. But it’s all true.” Taking a step closer to him, you pull out a small, leather-bound book from a pocket in your dress. “You see, Rooster, I am part of one of the oldest magical bloodlines in the known world. In other words, I’m what you might call, a witch.”

Bradley looks from you to the book to you again. Then he mutters, “You’re more insane than I thought you were.”

“We’ll see about that shortly enough,” you say with a thin-lipped smile. Then you begin strolling slowly around the fire. “Up until I lost Jake, I was more than happy to only dabble in the light side of my magic: A calming spell attached to my aura to soothe those around me. A positivity potion mixed into the cookies I made for the squad when you all weren’t getting along. A good luck charm tucked into Jake’s flight suit when he was leaving on a mission. Just tiny things to make all of your lives a little better. And I was more than happy to do it. But now?” 

You stop walking and turn to face him. “Now, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to bring my Jake back to me. Even if that means tapping into the kind of magic I’ve sworn never to use. That’s why we had to come to this spot on this night. It’s a place of unlimited power for those strong enough to tap into it. And tonight, that’s just what I plan to do.”

Bradley still doesn’t believe a word you are saying. Maybe it was the trauma of seeing Jake die. Maybe it was something from your past before you met any of the Daggers. But whatever it was, something had knocked a few screws loose in your head and Bradley had to find a way out of here before you turned violent. 

He had spotted a knife attached to a belt around your waist, but he is fairly certain he can disarm you if it comes down to it. Yet, even though you are talking about hurting him and that everything you had been through together had been a lie, he still cared about you and didn’t want you to get hurt—get help was a different story, but first he had to get out of here.

However, almost as if reading his mind, you give him a small smile. “It’s too late, Rooster. There is no escape. I already started the ritual while you were asleep. All I need now is blood.” And you draw the knife from your belt.

Bradley takes a few stumbling steps backward, but you shake your head. “Not yours. I’ll be taking enough from you already. No, this sacrifice is mine to make.”

Before he can stop you, you slash the knife across your palm. You drop the knife to the ground with a soft cry as you clutch your hand to your chest. But then, you hold out your shaking hand to the fire, letting blood drip into the flames. 

Suddenly, the entire clearing is engulfed in a blinding red light. Bradley squeezes his eyes shut but he can hear you chanting something across the clearing. He doesn’t understand the words but he recognizes some of them as what you muttered in your truck the night Jake died. 

Figuring you will be distracted, Bradley opens his eyes and tries to sneak off into the woods. However, he only takes a few steps before a vice-like grip latches onto his throat. His eyes bulge as his fingers claw at whatever is choking him, but his hands only scratch against his own skin. He looks at you but it only increases his panic as he sees your eyes are now two pitch-black orbs as you continue your chanting, a strong wind beginning to sweep through the clearing. 

Then, Bradley begins to feel a strange pulling sensation deep within him. His body remains exactly as it was, but something—his consciousness, his soul, whatever it is that makes Rooster the man that he is—is being dragged down and out of himself. He tries to fight it, to hold on, but how do you fight something that is happening within you?

As he feels himself being pulled deeper, slipping from his body, another consciousness brushes against his. A person he immediately recognizes and never thought he’d meet again. “Jake?” he gasps. Tears begin streaming down his face as the presence grows stronger and he just manages to whisper, “I’m so sorry.”

Then Bradley Bradshaw is gone.

Jake Seresin opens his eyes to find himself in an unfamiliar clearing at night. Towering trees surround the space, illuminated by the full moon high above and the towering, flickering flames in the nearby fire. As he glances around, he rolls his shoulders and stretches his back. His entire body feels…off. He doesn’t have any words to explain it but something is not right. 

But just then, he notices a woman standing across from him in a billowing black dress. It takes him a moment to recognize you, and when he does, he inhales sharply.

Gone is the bright, smiley, vibrant woman he had come to love with his entire heart and soul. Instead, you are a ghost of yourself: Your hair has been dyed pitch black and it looks like it’s been a while since you washed it. Your cheeks once full are now sunken. And you have huge bags under your eyes as if you hadn’t slept for weeks. Yet, your eyes themselves are the most startling change. Once sparkling and full of sunshine, they are now dull and carry a pain in them Jake has never seen before. 

Taking a shaky step towards you, he calls out, “Baby?”

As if you have been holding your breath in anticipation, you gasp at the sound of his voice. “Jake? Is it…is it really you?”

Who else was it supposed to be? “Ye-yeah, it’s me. What’s going on? Where are we?”

“Oh my god. I did it,” you breathe as you stare at him in awe, your eyes dancing across his face, drinking in every inch of it. “I didn’t know if I’d be strong enough, but it worked. You’re back.” 

Before he can ask what you mean, your eyes roll back in your head and your knees give out beneath you. Normally, Jake would have been able to cross the distance and catch you instantly, but for some reason, his movements are strangely clumsy and uncoordinated to the point he just barely manages to grab your arms and pull you close before you hit the ground.  

You moan softly as he lowers you both to the damp ground and he settles you into his lap. As he tries to reposition you, he notices your feet are bare, coated in mud and steaks of blood. There is also blood oozing from a deep gash on your hand. Your skin feels icy to the touch despite the heat of the fire and he can feel your heart fluttering wildly in your chest. He's still not sure where you both are, how you got here, or what happened to get you in this state, but none of that matters until he can make sure you are alright.

Gently running his fingers across your cheek, Jake mutters, “Come on, baby, you've gotta wake up for me.” He clears his throat and pounds once on his chest. Something about his voice sounds off—he doesn't sound like himself yet there is something familiar about it that he can't quite put his finger on.

But that's forgotten as he watches your eyes start to slowly open, the act seemingly arduous as you struggle to lift your lids. However, as you gaze up at him, the bright, tender smile he had come to love so much stretches across your face. Slowly, you raise a trembling hand to cup his cheek. “Jake. You’re really back.”

“Why do you keep saying that? I didn’t go anywhere.”

“It’s a long story.” You wet your lips and mutter, “Can you help me up?”

Jake scrambles up (still strangely tripping over his own body) and gently helps lift you to your feet. You take a few unsteady steps forward but then seem to find your footing. Turning to face him, you say, “This is going to be hard to hear but I promise, it’s the truth.” You stare at him and when he nods for you to continue, you take a deep breath. “Jake, you died five months ago.”

“What?” Jake’s brow furrows. “What are you talking about? I’m not dead.”

“No, but you were.” you take his hand, your blood smearing across his skin. “What’s the last thing you remember before waking up here?”

“I-I don’t know. I guess…We were at The Hard Deck having some drinks an-and Rooster, he told us he was taking us home. Then I remember a bright flash of light and—” He gasps, clutching his neck as he remembers hearing a sharp snap followed by a single second of the most intense pain he’s ever felt then—he woke up here. Yet his neck feels fine now, if somehow thicker, more muscular than he remembers but that wouldn’t explain the pain. 

You nod. “That’s when it happened. Rooster was t-boned by a drunk driver and you broke your neck. He should never have been driving us. I was fine! I was more than sober enough to drive, especially with my protection spells. If he would’ve just kept his fucking nose out of our business…” You close your eyes and slowly take another long, deep breath. When you reopen your eyes, you continue, calmer than before. “I tried to get to your body in time but your family had you cremated before I could try to bring you back. I thought it was over and you were gone for good. But then I found another way. I needed a body. It didn’t have to specifically be your body. And since it was Rooster’s fault you were taken from me, it was the perfect solution.”

“Wha—”

Suddenly, Jake realizes why his voice doesn’t sound like his own yet is still so familiar. Why his limbs don’t feel the same and his neck is thicker. And as he lifts his trembling hand to his face and his fingers brush against a coarse strip of hair covering his upper lip, any lingering hopes that he might be wrong are shattered. 

It’s not possible but he is trapped inside Rooster’s body.

With his eyes wide and voice shaking, Jake screams, “What did you do? What the fuck did you do?”

You stumble back, surprised by his furious outburst. “I-I gave you back the life he stole from you. I gave us another chance.”

“And Rooster? If I'm here, then where…” His voice trails off as the last piece of this nightmarish puzzle slips into place and he finally realizes the full extent of what you had done.

“It’s simple, Jake. A life for a life. One soul traded places with another. You’re here now, so Rooster is…” You shrug with a slight wave of your hand, clearly unbothered by the unknown fate you had sent the other man too. 

That complete callousness towards a man you had both cared for is all Jake needed to know he hadn’t only lost his wingman, but the woman he loved. He drops to his knees—Rooster's knees—and violently heaves onto the ground. Over and over, his whole body—Rooster's body—convulsing as it tries desperately to rid itself of everything in it, including the intruder. Yet try as he might, nothing comes up. Not even bile. Rooster must have already gotten sick before… 

Another full-body tremor sweeps through him.

When he is finally able to pull himself together even the slightest bit, Jake crawls to his feet. Backing away from you, he stutters, “I'm…I'm going to go to the police.”

“And tell them what?” you snap, your eyes turning black as a wind picks up from nowhere and blows through the clearing. “Tell them you're a dead guy in your friend’s body while his soul is currently rotting in hell or wherever the fuck you were? What good do you think that's going to do you besides landing you in the looney bin? No. You're either stuck in Rooster's body or you're going back to where you were to join him. And I'm not losing you again.”

Raising your hand in front of you, fingers reaching out towards him, they suddenly twitch and Jake feels this body stiffen outside of his control. As you begin to slowly twitch one finger then another, Jake's foot lifts and steps closer to you. Then another step. And another. As much as he tries to struggle, Jake can’t resist as you force him to walk across the clearing and stop before you.

Cupping his face with your non-controlling hand—your eyes still black—you whisper, “This is not how this was supposed to go. Jake, you love me. You were supposed to be happy I brought you back.”

“Maybe…” Jake squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to hide the disgust crawling down his spine at your touch. “Maybe I would have been if things were different. But I can’t live my life knowing it’s at the cost of Rooster’s. I don’t care what he might have done. No one deserves this.”

You thrust your hand downward and he drops heavily to his knees at your feet. Running your fingers tenderly through his curls, you coo, “I know you need time to adjust, baby. I’m sure this is a lot to take in. But let’s just make one thing very clear—” You suddenly grab a fistful of hair and yank his head back so he is forced to stare up at you “—I brought you back and you belong to me now. One way or another, I will have the life I was always supposed to have with you before any of this started. You can either be a good boy and accept that so we both can be happy, or you can make this difficult and I will make you behave.” 

You ball your hand into a fist and Jake feels like his brain is about to explode. An intense pressure unlike anything he has ever felt squeezes his mind and he sees sparks explode behind his eyes. You release your hand and the pressure disappears, leaving Jake mewling and quivering on the ground. 

You place your filthy, bloody big toe under his chin and raise his head so he is looking at you. “Do we understand each other?” Jake has no choice but to nod. Your eyes return to normal as your bright smile from before returns to your face. “Good! Then you better start practicing your best rooster crow. From now on as far as anyone else is concerned, you are Lt. Bradley Bradshaw.”

Jake feels like he is going to get sick again, but you just turn around and gather up your belongings. In no time, you are ready to go. Jake takes one last look up at the full moon, tears streaming down his face. 

And, as he is forced to follow you out of the clearing towards the waiting Bronco, he wonders if Rooster’s fate is really so bad after all.

Taglist: @ohtobeleah, @green-socks, @lorecraft, @heart-0n-fire, @mayhem24-7forever,

@blue-aconite, @the-untamed-soul, @inglourious-imagines, @airhogger, @piscesvancouverite,

@straightforwardly, @bonnieelizabethparker, @srry-itshockeyszn, @flyinlove, @fandomhopped,

@yjwnoot, @wanderdreamer, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @callsign-phoenix, @shanimallina87,

@forever-sleepy-sloth, @notroosterbradshaw, @dezthegeek, @blessupblessup, @cherrycola27,

@phoenix1389, @nicangelinee, @smells-like-perfect-senses, @boringusername3, @petlaufeyson,

@cycbaby, @footprintsinthesxnd, @fantasticcopeaglepasta, @writercole, @onebigfangirlworld,

@wkndwlff, @ravenmoore14, @clancycucumber230, @slightly-psycho-multifan, @kmc1989,

@deppresseddyslexic, @horneybeach1, @mandylove1000, @aczhang777

[shantismurf]

Thanks @flashfictionfridayofficial for the prompt, and @lucigoo and @conkers-thecosy for the inspiration and encouragement today 🥰

[#FFF 273 Invisible Guest]

Invisible Guest

Teen, 790 words, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield

A scrape of sound caught Thorin's ear, and he had to fight to keep the satisfied smirk from his face. It seemed that his invisible guest had returned once again.

He sighed dramatically and pushed back the pile of paperwork he'd intended to review that night. Perhaps it was time for a different strategy. Scrubbing his face with his hands, he let his shoulders slump, then rolled his neck and sighed once more. He needed to be careful not to lay the mortar on too thick with his act. His target was too clever by half and had little patience for being made a fool of.

He carefully stretched his arms overhead, only slightly exaggerating the twinge that sparked in the scars still healing along his ribs, and stood from his desk to shuffle slowly towards the door of his office, which he locked firmly. Slipping the key into his pocket, he made his way to the armchairs near the fireplace with a careful slowness. It wasn't an act for him to press a hand to his side in an effort to soothe the echoing pains, but the little grunt of discomfort might have been a tad put-on.

His ears were tuned to the subtle shift of fabric he heard as he slowly lowered himself to a chair and propped up his throbbing foot. Hmm, how best to end this charade, he wondered.

Reaching into the inside breast pocket of his coat, he withdrew a familiar deep red velvet cloth, rolling the smooth contents in his hand with satisfaction. He heard a creak and a small intake of breath and knew that he had his prey's full attention now.

Bringing the small package up to his lips, he thought of all the sentiment and adoration he poured into it's precious contents. It was as pure a representation of his heart as he could imagine, and he allowed the love that rose within him to show freely with a soft smile and a gentle sigh. A stifled gasp told him he was digging in the right mine.

"Would you join me, Burglar?" he rumbled softly. He was met with utter silence, but waited with the patience of stone until a flicker of russet gold curls appeared in the corner of the room and the hobbit stood slowly.

He looked around blearily and rubbed his eyes. "Oh, Thorin," he said with an exaggerated yawn. "I must have nodded off in the corner there. So sorry to bother you. I'll just be-"

"Come." Thorin said implacably.

The hobbit ducked his head a little sheepishly and shuffled over to stand behind the opposite armchair, a wary look in his eyes though his expression was pleasant. Thorin often wondered how many masks the little burglar wore at any one time, and how he might tear them all down and see the truth of things.

Speaking plainly seemed to be the one thing Bilbo was utterly defenseless against, so Thorin employed it now. Holding out the wrapped lump, he said simply, “This is yours.”

“Oh, no, really,” the burglar stuttered. “I'm sure it's not necessary to-”

“Take it.” Thorin said, again with the same placidly unwavering tone.

Bilbo gulped audibly and shuffled forward, reaching out and accepting the small bundle. He seemed surprised at its shifting weight and quickly peeled back the folds of cloth to reveal the precious gift inside.

Four oblong beads rested in the hobbit’s small palm, glinting in the firelight. The distinctive sheen of silver steel flowed around delicate stones of sapphire and opal, emerald and swirling golden chalcedony. One set was styled with a motif of curling forget-me-nots, the other with a vibrant oak leaf sheltering an acorn.

“Th-these are for me?” his voice shook a bit with what sounded like hope. The fist that had gripped Thorin’s heart so unrelentingly started to ease.

“If you would have me.” Thorin whispered. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the way pure joy and incredulity emerged in Bilbo's eyes as the wariness and fear parted like fleeing storm clouds.

“You're better. You're really truly better,” Bilbo gasped as he threw himself into Thorin's lap, clinging to his neck and all but attacking his lips. The fist clutching the courtship beads pressed to the side of Thorin's beard sweetly.

Thorin sighed into his love’s mouth, melting under the onslaught. He wrapped his arms around his precious form and held him close, twinging scars be damned. As Bilbo’s warm tongue swiped his lips, he forgot about pain entirely and lost himself to bliss.

No longer was there a need to hide in the shadows and fear the unknown. His invisible guest was now a most welcome permanent inhabitant of his heart.

[clairecrive]

"Beauty and the Beast"| Alfie Solomons

A/n: I don’t know where this came from but oh well. enjoy <3

MY MASTERLISTS

“You know,” she said cradling his face, “I’ve always found it amusing how you and everyone else compare you to a beast.�� 

“That’s ‘cause I fucking am, pet.”

“No, you’re not.” She disagrees while gently scratching his jaw. “You may look a little bearly, I’ll give you that.” 

Playing along, Alfie cheekily bit her finger ‘causing her to giggle. 

“However, if they’d only have the patience of taking a closer look, they’d see how handsome you are.” 

“Nah pet, ya don’t hav to lie to me face. I’m an old man, I can take it.”

“Honestly Alfie, I’m actually quite offended on your behalf,” she scoffed more seriously, slightly leaning away from him. “All these women fussing over Tommy fucking Shelby where you’re literally here. Like hello?”

Seeing as you were actually serious, Alfie settled more comfortably on the chair and looked amusingly at you while you went on with your speech. Claiming how these women supposedly needed to check their eyes because they clearly didn’t know how to discern a good-looking man.

“What’s with this vitriol for old Tommy, eh?”

“I don’t care about Tommy at all. It’s just that I’m always hearing about him,” she exclaimed, eyes wide in exasperation. “His angelic face, crystal clear eyes, and bla, bla, bla.” 

“Didn’t know you spend all this fucking time talking about him, dove,” Alfie said rubbing it in. He had to force himself to not laugh at your offended expression. 

“I do not,” she scoffed. “All the while they swoon over him, I’m thinking about you!”

“Oh, do ya?” He mused.

“Yes! I’m always thinking about how they don’t know what they’re actually talking about. I keep thinking I should bring you up as an example.”

“Then why don’t ya?”

“Because I don’t want them looking at you,” she mumbled under her breath while she avoided his eyes. 

“What now?” But he had heard perfectly. If the big-ass smile that bloomed on his face wasn’t proof enough. He loved watching you squirm and blush furiously, which of course, was what you were doing.

“I don’t want them to look at you,” she whispered a little bit loudly but still bashful as ever.

“Pet, ya know I’m an old fucking man. Ya need to raise your voice.”

“I don’t want them to notice, okay?” She exclaimed loudly this time. Cheeks red in embarrassment, eyes determined for him to argue with her. “You’re mine and I do not share.” She added as if to settle this once and for all.

“Of course, ya don’t, you little minx. Come here,” Alfie chuckled as he pulled you close to him again. Hands on your waist, nose almost touching, Alfie couldn’t help but send a little thanks to his God for sending him such an angel in his life.

“Love how you get offended on my behalf, pet,” he admitted while giving you an Eskimo kiss. “Your opinion is the only one who I give a fuck about, right?”

“I know, I’m just saying,” she mumbled on his lips. “It’s their loss anyway. My man is fine as hell, they could only hope.” 

This time, Alfie couldn’t help himself and he cracked up. “Oh pet, ya have no fucking idea how much I love ya.” 

Without giving her the chance to say anything, knowing she’d probably argue that she was the one who loved him the most, he finally kissed her.

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks for the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Six

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 9k 13.5k (SORRYYYYY)

Release date: October 2, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn, coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: The intensity between you and Seokjin is building, but there's still some shadows of the past that just won't let you go.

Chapter Warnings: angst, negative/derogatory comments toward sex workers, god so much tenderness I really leaned in with the fluff here huh, more panic attacks, relationship insecurity/fears of inadequacy, dirty talking, praise kink, fingering, handjob, sex toys, little bit of exhibition and voyeurism implied, references to masturbation, references to bdsm, slight bratting, y/n teared up a bit again sorry, 1 slap to the thigh, slight body image issues/allusions to fatphobia, dry humping, god Seokjin is such a simp my god he is so in love what a moron to not realize it, body positivity and normalization of bodies, the honeymoon early relationship period of them constantly wanting to fuck phase is upon us, blowjob, slight implied cum kink? Idk they kinda fixate on it sometimes, lying,

a/n: We are so back! Enjoy the newest chapter. I really needed the break this summer. I was so busy with my job and life happening I barely could do anything except go to work, sleep, stare into the abyss. But things have slowed down a bit so the ideas can really keep flowing. Thanks for your patience in all this. I hope you enjoy! -h

“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me,” the woman said, rolling a pen between her fingers as she sat on the counter of the kitchen with a clipboard in her lap. 

Seokjin chewed his bottom lip anxiously. There was a late shipment and somehow no one else had shown up in time to receive it. He couldn’t be discussing this now, not when he knew there would be customers arriving any minute while heaps of prep work and inventory needed to be done. 

“There’s nothing I’m not telling you,” he said, reaching behind her for the crate of pears he needed to place in the fridge. 

“Mhm,” the woman hummed. Her head was dipped. Seokjin thought she was you, but something had to be off. “So you’re just going to fuck me like I’m some viewer and then get back to work, is it?” 

He froze in place. “What do you mean?” 

“You know exactly what I mean,” she said, sighing and hopping off the counter. She pushed off with such force the precariously stacked jars and cans all crashed to the floor. “Whoops,” she said, giggling. 

Seokjin’s heart rate picked up, and as he moved to question her further, he heard his cell phone ringing. But in the mess of the kitchen, he couldn’t find it. 

“I can’t talk about this right now,” he said, fishing through the piles of unpackaged chives, which appeared to be doubling in quantity the more he dug. 

Somewhere in the background he heard the front door open. 

“How…did you unlock the front door already?” 

The face came into focus, and as he thought, it was you standing there. You raised an eyebrow. “Um, no?” 

He couldn’t believe this was happening. Why now you were taking on some careless personality that was unlike you? This was something he’d expect from your coworkers but not you. You cared about this place too much. 

“Well there are two people here right now, and I wasn’t the one who left the door unlocked. Can you at least tell them we’re not open?” God, where was his phone? Where was anyone?

“But they’re not here for food,” you said softly, and Seokjin puffed a chest of air, trying to get himself to calm down. 

“Then, what the fuck are they here for?” 

“The show, obviously.” He whipped his head in your direction. You were holding his phone up, smiling wickedly. 

“I don’t know what show you mean!” he practically shouted. “Did you have my phone this entire time and were fucking with me?” 

You laughed, sounding bitter and distant, less like you and more like someone else he knew. 

“You are the one who seems to like to do the fucking with, well everything and everyone else,” you spit. 

“What does that even mea-”

You cut him off, holding your finger to your cupid’s bow and answering his still-ringing phone. 

“Oh, Mrs. Kim, hello. Yes, Seokjin is here, he’s just busy with something. Oh you’re back so soon? Then you’ll have to stop by today. It’s going to be an interesting show.” 

You hung up then tossed his phone aside. Seokjin couldn’t move. Couldn’t get over the rapidly growing pile of chives that were threatening to drown him in their smell. Couldn’t get to his phone quick enough or ask you why you were behaving so cruelly. So cryptically. 

Some of the chives toppled over his head and he lost his balance, following the wave to wherever it would take him next. As he reached up to the surface, he felt himself be jolted outward and he smacked right at the bottom of a pair of shoes. 

“Pathetic,” the owner said, and as he rolled over, Seokjin could see that you were sitting on the counter across the room, where he just had been, looking more like yourself, more worried about him. You didn’t speak however, just watched as he crawled to his knees and pushed up. Seokjin stood, and then realized the owner of the shoes was Soon Yi, who was staring back at him with pure malice. 

“You really couldn’t get your shit together without me, huh? Couldn’t just get a job like everyone else? You ended up being a pornstar and running your parents’ shitty little restaurant?” 

Seokjin’s mouth felt like it was filled with pennies. As he opened to speak, to defend himself, he realized he couldn’t. His mouth was duct taped, and the outfit Soon Yi was wearing was…it was kinky. She had a bra on but it wasn’t really doing much, only went to the curve under the swell of her breasts, and tape x’s covered her nipples. He could see from her exposed abdomen that was also pregnant again, her stomach heavy and taught. She wore some kind of thong, but Seokjin didn’t really want to see how big or small that thing was. Nor was his body reacting to her and the dominatrix type of persona she had undertaken. Was this how she was with her husband, Seokjin’s former boss? Why was she even here?

“It looks like I’ll be taking care of you after all,” she said, and a riding crop that Seokjin swore was never there before was in her hands. “Now be a good dog and sit.” 

His eyes shot to you, and he saw how betrayed you look as he, despite all the restraint he had, fell to his knees for his ex. 

“Good. Now, are you coming or not? There’s so many people waiting for you.”

He tried to shake his head as he kept his focus on you. Wanting to tell you that this wasn’t at all what it looked like, that he had been trying to fight against Soon Yi. 

But he didn’t have control over his body; he couldn't speak. So he left you in the back room, crawling like a dog into the main part of the restaurant which now looked like…his home office? 

At least part of it. The desk chair he sat in often to stream at was in the center of the room and crowds of strangers were there. Seokjin also noticed that he was naked. 

He followed Soon Yi, and scanned the crowd again, this time seeing to his horror his parents had arrived, their shock and disappointment rocking him with so much shame he felt tears spring to his eyes. 

How was everything falling apart? 

Next to his parents, you sat, too. And you were crying, though no one paid you any mind as you shook your head at him as Soon Yi propped him into the chair and turned him toward the crowd. 

“Here he is, ladies and gentleman. Tonight, Jin will be doing a very special performance for you.” She turned around and like magic, she went from holding nothing to Seokjin’s too familiar sparkly pink dildo in her hands. 

His eyes widened. No, he was going to do that here? In front of his family? In front of you? He shook his head again, this time at Soon Yi, who laughed. 

“What? I’m just doing you a favor. Just letting everyone see who you really are.” 

He was hard now, despite himself. Soon Yi laughed again. 

“I guess someone should take care of that for you,” she said, and Seokjin felt her reach down and squeeze his length. He hated that her doing that made him moan. It was churning his stomach to even think of. 

“I’m not going to fuck you,” she said, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god. 

“Y/N, come here.” Seokjin wasn’t sure how Soon Yi knew you, how she even knew he streamed, but none of that mattered to him as his dick throbbed at the mention of your name. Yes, you were the right person to stimulate him this way. But not like this. 

“I– I don’t want to,” you said.  

“I thought you liked him, Y/N. Don’t you want to ride his dick? He seems to want you to. What? Are you too vanilla or something?” 

You squirmed under Soon Yi’s insult, the eyes of the room flashing toward you. Seokjin moved to shove himself forward but then saw that Soon Yi had taped his wrists to the chair when he wasn’t looking. 

Goddamn it. How had she done that? 

You shake your head again, tears falling from your eyes. He wanted to go to you. To remind you that you didn’t want to do anything you didn’t want to. That you could leave at any time. But you didn’t. And he couldn’t. 

“That’s not why,” you insisted. 

Soon Yi smiled. “Tell me,” she practically purred. 

“It’s because he’s…well…” 

“What?” Soon Yi said. “He’s a gay porn star?”

You nodded, your eyes falling to the floor. 

Seokjin’s heart sank. 

“You didn’t even have the decency to tell her, huh? God, you really are such a selfish asshole. Now Y/N knows the truth. And she’s never going to love you. Look at yourself. You made your choice a long time ago. Now, now you have to live with the consequences.”

Seokjin gasped as he pulled himself from his nightmare. Part of him knew he was dreaming. But that wasn’t enough to wake him up. As he sat up and steadied his heartbeat, he took in his surroundings. A beat-up old dresser was across from him, littered with picture frames and knick-knacks that didn’t belong to him. 

Because he was still at your place. It was probably after noon, though he still didn’t have a phone and you didn’t have a clock in this room. 

As he glanced around, he noticed you were still asleep next to him, your hair fanned out across the pillow, arms resting above your head, and the shirt you put on early this morning as you ventured into the city lights to get ramyeon from the convenience store down the block was now bunched up over your breasts, exposing your nipples to Seokjin.

He felt his cock stir, despite the confusing and awful nightmare he’d had. 

With all his recent stress and lack of sleep, he shouldn’t have been surprised everything would all coalesce into one giant messy dream. He was surprised that Soon Yi was there, though. He really rarely thought of her these days, though it seemed his subconscious wanted to send her as a messenger of shame. 

The feeling stewed in his stomach, dousing him in a cool sweat as he processed the dream alongside last night. 

Was he too needy and desperate? Did he rush things too soon? What if you found out that he did stream? Would that make you feel like he was choosing that over you? Or that it exposed you too much, especially when you’d just shyly admitted the night before that you hadn’t ventured into kink but was interested? 

Was streaming cheating? That was something that he couldn’t wrap his mind around. He’d never considered that you might find that to be something as such. How would he make you understand that this wasn’t the same thing, that what he wanted to build with you wouldn’t be exposed online, wouldn’t be cheating because what he felt for you wasn’t what he said he felt toward his viewers. 

But how would you know that? 

Anxiety began to flare up, and he found himself trying to solve this puzzle in various segments, trying to understand and imagine every possible outcome. Either he told you and you were okay with it, or you weren’t. And if he did tell you and you weren’t okay, he didn’t know if you would be willing to give him enough time to explain himself or make you understand.

But if you found out on your own, or through someone else, he knew that would be the end of things before they even began. But what if he told you and you assumed he was just some shitty guy who used sex as a way to make money and power? 

He didn’t even know how he would feel if the roles were reversed. Or rather, he did. Because Seokjin knew that if you were streaming yourself on the internet, a part of him would be insanely jealous. He already felt a twinge of it just from the times he read your chats. But you naked was something else. And while he knew he would respect your decision to do so, he would never feel like he could be fully close to you. 

Just like Soon Yi said in his dream. 

Fuck, he needed to figure this out. 

“What are you thinking about?” Your soft voice broke through his reverie, and he remembered again that you were in front of him, alive, and real. 

And naked. 

He looked down. You had pulled the covers up over your breasts, to his disappointment. Your brow was furrowed, your left pointer finger softly skimming over his side. 

“Oh, a nightmare I had. And other things,” he relaxed back into the bed, rolling over onto his side facing you, using his hand to prop up his head. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your eyes were sparkling, your voice so gentle it felt like water washing over the scalding parts of his brain, soothing him. 

“No, it’s okay. It was just a dream.” He looked back at you, noticing that your concerned expression didn’t fade. 

He sighed. “I guess I’m feeling a little…overwhelmed from everything.” 

You froze. “Oh.”

He could see your expression changing, the walls he had finally broken through starting to slide back into place, and he realized how awful what he’d just said probably sounded. 

“Not about you, it’s my own shit I swear I–”

“Are you having regrets about last night?” Your voice sounded broken. You crossed your arms over your chest.

“No, no, jagi, not at all. I mean that I felt like…I don’t know. So much happening with work and stress of family stuff and it’s all starting to really get to me. And then there’s you…and you’re like this light among all the bullshit but god. I was a lot really fast with you. I said a lot of things that were maybe too soon, and I also didn’t really talk to you fully about the emotional side of how I feel for you. My body, uh, I feel like that part took over before I could express that to you.” 

He knew he had to at least address this part, and had to absolve that part of him, his dream where sex and power seemed to really want to play their hand over him. Something he never wanted to happen to you. 

“I know that you care about me,” you assured him. “And I know that yes, we kind of immediately dove into some different roles, sharing really personal fantasies. But I don’t think that’s bad, do you?”

Your voice strained a bit at the end, and Seokjin realized that you were also just as anxious that something happened beyond what either of you communicated to each other in the moments after. 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think that’s bad. But I want you to know that this isn't’ just sex for me. That I’m not going to just walk away or use you to get off. And I-I don’t want you to think that I’m using you.” 

You sighed, sitting up. You pulled his hand into your lap. “I don’t think you used me for sex, Seokjin. I’m not embarrassed by it or feel like you disrespected me. I feel more flattered. I guess that you played up those dynamics more with me because you knew they made me feel good. You know they made me feel good, right? I didn’t, like, not express how good it felt did I?” 

He smiled. “No, no I knew. And you’re right. I guess I felt like I could have been more smooth, amped this up more. I know you felt like we did things out of order because of the fact that we had sex before going on a date, but I feel like I made things out of order by being less romantic and more…”

“Perverted?” you finished, a smirk flying to your lips as you processed Seokjn’s bashful look, his cheeks turning red. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s the word for it,” he smiled back despite himself. Relief set in as he realized you were okay with it. Okay with the pace being set. He wasn’t taking advantage of you. And you knew that. 

You snorted. “I may have slipped some of my dirtiness out yesterday, and maybe you beat me to it faster, but I think you’ll learn soon I’m way more perverted than you.” 

His eyebrows rose. “Oh?”

You laughed. “Yes. I read!” 

“Oh, that’s right. Most of the books on your shelf are quite suggestive, aren’t they?” He began to drag his hand along your covered thigh, then hesitated. He didn’t want to just move toward sex. Why was it so hard for him to keep himself under control?

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, throwing Seokjin off. 

“Huh?” 

“Your nightmare you had. You were saying no a lot in your sleep. I figured that’s why you’ve been a bit off this morning. You didn’t sleep very peacefully.” 

He was off? How?

“I’m not…I wasn’t…” No excuse came. 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you said softly. But Seokjin knew. He could feel the silence wedging between you. The distance started to leave a bitter taste in his mouth over what happened last night. 

“Soon Yi was in it,” he said uneasily, not knowing where to start.  

You sat quietly, though he saw you tense at the name. 

“She was telling me lots of stuff. I was failing with the restaurant, and I was failing with you. And she wanted me to make sure I knew it.” 

You pursed your lips for a moment and nodded, then wiggled back under the covers, scooting your head across the pillow to lie just under Seokjin’s bent elbow. He watched you closely, trying to detect what kind of reaction you were giving from this. 

“Can I ask you something?” you asked after a moment. 

He hummed, flicking his gaze down to you. He felt one of your legs curl across his as you pulled yourself closer. Your breasts dragged against his stomach. His free hand found itself in your hair, stroking it away from your face at your temple. 

“When you…when you dream of her, do you miss her?” 

His gut twinged, something in him stirring at that question. He’d often asked himself the same one over the years, trying to figure out what the feeling really was. But this time, as Seokjin craned his neck down to see you worry your lip between your teeth, he finally had the words. 

As he leaned down to peck a kiss onto your forehead, he sighed. “No, I don’t anymore. I think sometimes I feel maybe nostalgic for a time where I was known the way she knew me, but I don’t miss her. If I did, I don’t think I would have been so attracted to you, so drawn to you that my thoughts are clouded with you every day.” 

“Okay. It’s not that I wanted to assume it. I just didn’t know. I don’t know how serious this breakup was. I mean, I guess I assumed it had to be serious because she was your fiancé but…” Your hand found a way out of the covers and up to his cheek, gently rolling your thumb against the stubble of his jaw. A soft smile bloomed across your face. “When you talked about her before, you almost did like there was no emotion behind it.” 

“What do you mean? Like I didn’t care about her?”

“Not really like that,” you said. “More like you didn’t want me to know you cared about her. Like it was a story to move on from and not something you actually lived.” 

His heart wrenched at the call-out, and Seokjin began to feel his cheeks burn. “I-I’m sorry.” 

Your eyes widened and you shook your head vigorously. “No, no, don’t apologize for that. Seokjin. I’m weirdly relieved to see that you do feel things about her. I don’t expect you to not feel anything.” 

“I just…I care about you. And in my dream, you listened to what she said about me and it changed your mind.” 

“Well, what did she say? What is it that would change my mind about you? Because I don’t think it probably is as bad as you seem to believe.” 

His throat welled. This was the moment. He could tell you. He could be honest and would know you wouldn’t walk away. Or that if you did, it would be before he got too attached to you. Seokjin could live with the results of you deciding his lifestyle was too much. He could seal away his feelings, and once his parents returned in a month or so, he could move on with his life and find a new job where you wouldn’t haunt every thought he had.

He swallowed, mouth dry as his heart began hammering against his chest.

“Sh-she said that you would never love me. That no one ever would.” His breathing was slightly ragged, voice shaking a bit. He felt like he’d drunk too much caffeine on an empty stomach, the dizzying haze of fear rooting itself in his core. 

To think it was one thing. To say the fear out loud, in the quiet of the early afternoon light, was another. 

Your hand stilled on his face, and you turned his head so his gaze met yours. Seokjin couldn’t help it as he felt you pull closer to him. He felt the tears spring up into his eyes.

“Do you believe that? That you’re so unlovable?” 

Did he? He didn’t know. Perhaps it was less that Seokjin believed he was unlovable and more that he didn’t deserve your love. Especially with how gentle and pure and good you were. How tainted he was. 

He didn’t answer, but that was enough of one for you. Enough for you to pull yourself up, the covers falling away from your body, your breasts swaying as you hoisted yourself on top of him, straddling his stomach with your naked thighs. 

You moved his hands to your hips, bowing your head so it hovered just above his. Your warm voice found his ear as you leaned closer. 

“I’ll tell you a little secret,” you whispered. Chills formed across his body as your breath tickled his neck. “You’re just as lovable as everybody else, Seokjin. No matter what you’ve been told. By anyone.” He felt your lips brush against his neck. 

His breath heaved once, and then he felt a few beads rolling down his cheeks as you pecked small kisses onto him.

“I’ve wanted you for a long time.” 

How? How could this be real? Any of this be real? Was he drifting through a different kind of dream now? In his life, Seokjin couldn’t imagine being told this so honestly. And furthermore, the lump in his throat was still there because while he was hearing you admit you felt something for him, wouldn’t that change the second he informed you of the other half of the dream? 

The reasoning behind no one ever loving him?

“I’m so scared, Seokjin.” Your shaking voice pulled him from his thoughts, and his eyes flashed to yours as you pulled away. 

He wasn’t the only one with tears in his eyes. You, too, had some brimming your eyelashes, the shine of wetness almost ethereal. 

“I’m absolutely fucking terrified.” He could see the sincerity; the anxiety and fear stirred beneath the intensity of your stare. He imagined his eyes were reflecting the same thing. “And you want to know why?” 

He did. He nodded.

“Because I’m worried I will fuck this up somehow. Or that the past will repeat itself. That you’ll disappear one day and it’ll be like I dreamt all this. I don’t know if I can take it if I wake up and find you gone without a trace, as if I never existed to you. It’s happened before.” Your voice shook as a few tears fell down your face. 

Seokjin’s eyes widened. “What?”

Your eyes flicked away from him and you laughed lightly as you wiped the tears from your face. “God, I don’t even know why I’m crying. This is so stupid.” 

“No, no back up. What happened?” He wasn’t going to let you change the subject. Not about this. Not when you two were being honest and communicating clearly. Not when despite being inside of you last night, he had never felt so close to you as he did in this moment. 

“You’re not the only one with a past. You know that, right?”

A flood of embarrassment washed over him, souring his stomach. Because truthfully, he hadn’t really considered how much of your past had led you to being there on top of him. 

“Y/N, I–”

“No, no, I don’t mean it that way. I meant it more that you aren’t the only one who is scared because of the past. I wasn’t engaged before. I thought I would be, though, at one point. But looking back, I don’t think Do Woon and I even knew each other, and I was more thinking about the idea of getting married as something I had to do more than I wanted to. Not to say I don’t want to get married but–”. You cut yourself off, your words sharp and quick as if a rain of thoughts had all come down at once. 

Seokjin took a deep breath, steadying himself under you as he asked. “Do you…do you want to start from the beginning?” 

You chuckled, lacing your fingers into his. “I wanted to say that I have been with someone. And it was getting serious, or it was for me. And then one day, poof, he just ghosted me. Blocked my number when he was supposed to come to my dad’s birthday party. It was a whole mess.” 

Seokjin stroked his thumb over the back of your hand. “It sounds like a mess. And that guy was an absolute asshole.” He tried to ignore the pit of guilt in his stomach as he realized he had also been considering disappearing a few moments ago. Granted, that was under the assumption that you weren’t interested in him, or that if you found out you would change your mind. 

Fuck. Just tell her. 

He didn’t know when he would be able to insert this information. Definitely not as he spoke next. 

“Why don’t you tell me about them. As much or as little as you want to share.” 

And that was all it really took, you being granted permission to unstopper the bottle of your past and some of the outer laying details that Seokjin never could make sense of. You told him about Do Woon, explaining that he, along with some other guy who shall not be named, were your two main relationships you’d had in your adult life, and both of them left some part of you feeling shattered and vulnerable, despite how short those relationships were. Only a few months of your life. Not even enough to establish them officially as your boyfriend, or at least that was something he’d never referred to himself as while dating you. 

At some point you pulled yourself off of Seokjin, settling back into the plush comforter on your bed. And despite his best efforts to not look for a clock to mark what time it was, he found himself scanning your room for one, only to realize whatever time it was really didn’t matter. 

Not when you were being so open after a time of being so closed off. 

“I feel…inexperienced compared to you. Almost like I’m some sixteen year old kid doing this all for the first time.” 

Your apartment was quiet. There were clearly sounds of the old building creaking as neighbors around you occasionally left or arrived with a slam of a door. But all that life outside, Seokjin thought, it resembled something mechanical and impersonal, far from the life he was experiencing with you. 

“You know, it’s funny. You’re saying I have all this experience, but I don’t.” 

“But you do. You’ve taken someone on dates before, probably bought her flowers and birthday presents. You clearly know how to have sex and do it well. You cook for people, you’ve lived this exceptional career, and are known by a ton of people. You just exist so maturely and fully in a way that I don’t feel like I do. In a way that means something officially through a relationship. I feel like I’m watching you like a kid observing a teacher to know how to write the alphabet, and it’s kind of embarrassing.” 

Seokjin watched as you shifted uneasily, pulling your arm across your chest as you became guarded once more, on edge and awaiting his response. 

“None of that even means anything, Y/N. I don’t have experience in all this stuff, not with you. I don’t know what I’m doing, what I could say that might offend you. And I’m not sure what career you’re referring to because I’m just some nepo baby but much lower in class. Hard work didn’t give me this job; being the son of the owners did.

“And as far as existing in a way that is mature, what makes me qualified to be considered as such? I play video games in my apartment by myself, I don’t have complex problems with school and finances and balancing a future career to contend with the way you do. Now, that’s maturity.” 

Seokjin reached forward, tugging you into his embrace. 

Into your ear, he whispered. “You’re right about one thing, though. I do know how to have really good sex.” 

You snorted, your shoulders relaxing as you nuzzled into him. “Yes, I’m aware. I was there.”

“Which means you know that it takes two people at least to have sex. And that means the sex wasn’t just good because of me. But you, too. Like, really, really good.” 

You laughed lightly. “Okay, fine. But I still feel like a beginner.” 

“I do too. And before you argue with me again about this. I’m learning you, just like you’re learning me. What demons we carry, what flaws we have. What hot little kinks lurk in your closet that I cannot wait for you to inform me of. How you like your eggs in the morning, what songs you’ll sing in the shower. Mine is ‘Loner’ by Outsider, by the way.” 

Your laugh built, your body shaking against his. He smiled despite the fact that you couldn’t see him. 

“This is new. We’re new. We are both beginners in the process of hopefully becoming experts in each other.”

You released a puff of air from your chest, angling yourself to look at him. 

“I like that. I want to be an expert in you, I think.” 

He cocked an eyebrow. “You think?”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, I know. I want to be an expert in you. Period.” 

“Good, because I plan on becoming an expert in you.” 

“Okay then…so first of all, I like scrambled eggs. But not the gummy rubbery crap. Soft scramble, low and slow. With toast and pats of butter.” 

“Low and slow, got it.” Seokjin said. He gazed down at you, your sleep-tangled hair falling cutely into your face as you described your favorite breakfast and how to make it. Ideally with lower heat, the curds of the eggs softly mixed and cooked into the butter to be uniform throughout. He filed the recipe away, but more specifically how you said it, how your lips curved around every word as you enthusiastically rambled on, ranking your favorite to least favorite egg varieties. 

He stroked the hair out of your face with one arm, his other tracing the curves of your bare back. 

“And then, hmm song I’ll sing in the shower.” You drifted off, your breath coming more ragged in your chest as his hand traced the outer lines of your hip and thighs. Seokjin felt you adjust yourself, the heat of your lower body escaping as you opened your thighs wider. 

“It’s a very important answer,” he said casually, his eyes becoming more hooded as he watched your arousal starting to grow, your body attempting to make subtle attempts to cover up what Seokjin knew was already there. 

“Mmm,” you responded weakly. Your own hands were exploring now under the covers, grazing Seokjin’s defined chest and abs, and resting just under the hair that trailed his belly button. Millimeters away from his stiffening cock. 

His left hand found its way away from your head, fingers running down the length of your neck and shoulders, and finally to your plump breasts. 

You gasped out a moan when he plucked a nipple between two of his fingers, a devilish smile splayed across his face when your eyes flew open to look at him. 

“Shit,” you rasped, and Seokjin chuckled, amused by how your building arousal made you all the more sensitive. 

Your hand closed over his cock unexpectedly, eliciting a groan from him as you began firmly stroking him in your hands. 

He took that as a cue, letting his right hand finally push your thighs more apart. He ran his fingers through you, pulling them away and placing them between the two of you. 

His tongue poked out as he tasted you on his fingers, relishing how your mouth fell slightly open as you intently watched his tongue loop over every ridge of his pointer finger. You shifted again. 

“Mmm, you taste good. Have you tasted yourself before?” he asked, and your eyes widened before you did a short, embarrassed nod. 

“So curious.” He lapped at his other finger, spending less time cleaning it. “I think you might like your taste even better now.” 

“How?” Your voice was soft, still enamored by his ministrations.  

Seokjin grinned, leaning forward to tilt your head up to him to kiss you. The kiss was hard, a pull of dominance overtaking him as he forced your mouth open with his, his tongue tangling into yours, giving you a shared taste of your arousal and him. 

You moaned, and as he dipped back down to your hot core with his fingers, you leaned in harder to the kiss, wrapping your arm around his neck to keep him close to you as you sucked his plump bottom lip into your mouth. Your other hand stilled on his cock, holding it but loosening in your grasp as you remained distracted by him. You shuddered into his mouth as he stroked your swollen clit with his thumb, pushing your pelvis up so he could get the right angle. 

“That’s a good girl, Y/N, spread your legs for me so I can fuck you open with my fingers.” 

As he slid one in with ease, then the second, he could feel you clench around him, causing his cock to to throb as he imagined it in place of his fingers. 

You ground into his hand, still chasing his mouth with yours. Your hand brushed up and down his length again before abandoning its mission, instead using your hand to push away from the kiss. You pouted at him as he built a rhythm with his fingers, pulling slowly in and out and occasionally scissoring his fingers open to ensure you were ready for him. 

“So greedy,” he chuckled. 

“I need you,” you whined, and your arm left his neck to the hand thrusting into you. You put your hand over his, commanding it to deliver sharper, heavier thrusts into your drenched pussy. 

“I can see that,” he teased, following your set rhythm for the moment. As he watched you writhe below him, he couldn’t help but look at every curve of you, trying to burn this memory into him forever. 

The room fell quiet, the only sounds being your little moans and the wet sounds of his fingers thrusting in and out of you. He felt your hand take hold of his cock again, and he glanced down to see your small fingers laced around its thickness. 

God, it was perfect. 

“You’re so hard,” you remarked, pumping him to the same speed he was working his fingers. 

His eyebrow cocked. You were teasing him, trading out your nervousness for a sexy, confident self who was only working him up further. More precum dribbled from the head of his cock as you worked him in your fist, pumping up and down roughly, perfectly. 

He didn’t know how you knew he liked harder, rougher handjobs. Or that his heavy sack was so deliciously sensitive that your mouth on it last night almost had him cumming immediately. Either way, he was thoroughly enjoying how you were panting a little as he continued to thrust in and out of you while you tried to focus, your breasts bouncing along with your strokes. 

God, he needed to pace himself or he would cum all over you without warning. The image of that idea alone had his hips buck forward into your grasp and he imagined you painted so sinfully with his white cum dripping down your face, your chest—

Fuck. His balls drew up with the ache of his thrust into your hands, threatening to spill. No. No he didn’t want this to be how it ended. 

In all this, you were on the edge, but he could tell the angle just wasn’t right. 

Seokjin pulled his fingers from you, a pathetically cute “no, please” leaving your lips as you closed your legs around his hand, grinding onto him to try and get yourself off. 

But Seokjin had a better idea. Instead, he pulled away, flipping the comforter off of you. He  searched along the floor until he found what he was looking for. 

Your abandoned vibrator was on top of some dirty laundry. He picked it up, holding it in front of you. 

“It’s dirty,” you said. “I used it last night before–“ 

You froze, looking away from Seokjin and down at a spot on the floor. 

“Before what?” He asked. 

“Before, um…” 

God you were so cute when you were being shy. 

“Were you using this right before I got here?” 

Your eyes widened and you nodded, still avoiding eye contact. 

“What were you masturbating to, princess? I’m sorry I interrupted you. Did you get to cum?” 

You shook your head and then looked back up at Seokjin. “I mean technically yes but not while I was masturbating. You made me cum later.” 

“Oh, baby. Then I owe you an orgasm, then, don’t I? Poor thing had to wait so long to cum. You were probably so worked up and wet and tense.” 

He could see the effect his words had on you, the playful, almost bratty facade melting into a more submissive, soft haze. Your eyes were locked on his, gaze burning hot. 

“I-I was,” you agreed softly. 

Seokjin clicked his tongue. “Tsk, I’ll make it up to you. But first, tell me what got you so worked up.” 

You groaned, your hands flying to your face as you hid behind them. 

“I can’t.” 

“And why is that?” 

“It’s too embarrassing.” 

“Is it? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Y/N. I don’t care who you were masturbating to, I know that doesn’t mean anything. But it’s healthy. It’s about your relationship to yourself.” 

“You,” you replied quickly. You didn’t remove your hands from your face, muffling the sound. 

“Me?” Seokjin replied, a wide grin spreading to his face. He liked the sound of that. 

“Yes. Don’t let it go to your head.” 

But he couldn’t help himself. Seokjin was delighted, warmth spreading throughout his body as he imagined you on this very bed naked, sighing and moaning and twitching around your toy. It was a perfect view, one he wanted to see in real time so he could memorize it just as it happened. 

“What were you thinking about that had you soaking wet for me when I arrived? What was I doing? Was it your kinky fantasy you told me about?” 

Your hands fell from your face as you smacked his thigh with your hands. “Shut up! You’re letting it go to your head. It’s none of your business what I was fantasizing about and now you’re kink shaming me!” 

Seokjin laughed, carding his hand through his hair. 

“Kink shaming you? Did you not see how turned on I was by the idea of you having a little exhibitionist streak?” 

“Okay, well fine! You tell me what one of your fantasies is so it’s fair.” 

Seokjin smirked. He was used to this kind of talk. He wouldn’t back down from a challenge. 

“Hmm, which one do you want to know more about? The one where I have you tied up like a pretty little present for me, rope threaded around your soft arms and stomach, being held open for me? Or, maybe the one where you’re blindfolded, unable to see anything but feel everything.”

Your lips pop open, eyes flashing with something dark that Seokjin can tell has sent your mind into overdrive. Oh, you like that just as much as him. 

“Is that what you want, princess? For me to make you feel everything while I fuck you blindfolded?” 

You squirm under him, but surprisingly, you shake your head. “Not now. Maybe later. Right now I want to see you. See everything you do to me.” 

“I can definitely do that.” 

Seokjin reached over to your bedside table, cocking his head toward the drawer. “Is this where your toys live?” he asked. 

“Yes, but…”

“But?”

“Just…don’t judge me.” 

“Never,” Seokjin assured, and he opened the drawer. 

You didn’t have many toys, but just from the fact that you had more than one told Seokjin that you were just as curious as he was. 

He sifted through the drawer, moving anal beads, a bullet vibrator, a rabbit vibrator, and a long blue dildo out of the way. He found the case to the purple clitoral vibrator he now knew you used to get yourself off last night and slipped it in. 

Then he saw what he was looking for. Of course you would have one.

Seokjin pulled the c-shaped vibrator out of its case, your eyes widening as you saw it in his palm. 

“Fuck,” you said. “That one is…really intense.” 

“Oh?” he teased, crawling across the bed and over you once more. “How so?”

“Um, I usually cum really fast with that one. Almost too fast. And hard.”

“That sounds like the opposite of a problem to me.”

You laughed, relaxing back into your pillows. “I mean that I kind of struggle with it.” 

“Do you not want me to use this on you?” 

“You can, it’s just that I like the way it feels when you touch me. I can use toys any time. That feeling is the same.”

“Princess, I guarantee that it won’t feel the same. Not when I’m the one holding the remote and deciding what angle and where.”

You shrugged, gesturing down to your parted legs. “Fine, then go for it.” 

“Oh, I will. And don’t you forget that you still owe me an answer to my question. I want to know what I was doing in your little fantasy that got you so worked up you made a mess on one of your toys.”

“God, are you going to fuck me already or am I going to have to do it myse-”

A firm slap landed on your thigh and you cried out. 

“Hey! That hurt!” 

“Yes, it’s supposed to. You’re being a brat. And I don’t appreciate it.”

You rolled your eyes, and for a moment Seokjin thought to delve out another slap to your other thigh. But he was also getting impatient. His cock felt angry and hard as it strained against his stomach. He needed to get his mind off of it. 

So instead he tapped your thighs, this time softer, signaling you to spread further to expose your glistening core. You were still so wet, and as he pushed the toy into you, a squelch rang out into the room as you sucked it right in. 

It might have been the hottest thing Seokjin had ever seen in his life. 

“How’s that feel?” he asked gently, enamored with the sight of you below him. 

“Mmm, good,” you replied, a slight breathiness in your voice. A happy, drunk smile spread across your lips.

He felt himself mirror you, probably some stupid, dopey grin slapped across his own face. But you were like a goddess, your hair splayed onto the pillow under your head, arms bent at the elbow and resting near your face. 

“So beautiful,” he whispered. God, he could look at you like this forever. A tight warmth surged into his chest, and he bent forward to kiss your forehead. “So good for me.”

You didn’t get a chance to protest as the vibrator came to life, dual controls vibrating both the curved shaft that was snuggly wrapped around your pelvic bone and the clitoral attachment. 

You jolted, your back immediately arching as you responded to the sensation. 

“Fuck, Seokjin.” 

“Mm, I believe I’m the one fucking you,” he joked, chuckling to himself. 

“Oh my god shut up it’s not funny oh, fuck–”

Your eyes shut tightly as you clenched around the vibrator, its low buzz sounding louder in the room as Seokjin rested it up against you.

“I thought you wanted to see everything I do to you.” 

Your eyes shot open and looked up at him. “I do, but god this is so intense.” 

“Well, let me provide a solution to that,” Seokjin responded, and then he pulled away, leaving the vibrator to rest inside of you for a minute. He’d gotten this idea only a few minutes ago, but just in his general state of wonder at your apartment, he knew that you had a floor mirror peeking out from the corner of the room. 

You whined as he stood across your room, hips bucking as the wet sounds of the clitoral vibrator created small suction noises that alerted Seokjin of just how wet you were. 

He turned back to you, climbing back atop the bed and sliding his hands underneath your bottom, pulling you up into his arms. 

You gasped, though he wasn’t sure if it was because the toy had hit a particular sensitive spot, or you weren’t expecting him to carry your weight. But none of that mattered right now. Instead, he was transfixed by the way you were watching yourself as you both stood in front of the mirror, Seokjin positioning you with your legs spread and hips angled toward the mirror, propping yourself up by leaning your back against his chest. 

“Here you go princess,” he cooed. “Now you can see everything.” 

You shuddered, as if his words sent a chill down your spine. He grinned, taking one of your hands and guiding it down to the vibrator, nudging it further into you. 

You began to take over, but he tightened his grasp on your hand, shaking his head. 

“Then why–”

“So when you use it alone next time, you’ll have no choice but to think of me, my hands making you tremble, making you drip down your legs.” 

You moaned, low in your throat, closing your eyes as he upped the intensity through the remote. A heavy, wet gasp shuddered through your chest, your other hand that wasn’t positioned on your vibrator finding Seokjin’s hand and squeezing it. 

“Is this angle better? Or is it still too much?” 

“It’s good. It’s really good.”

“Then keep your eyes open, princess,” he ordered. “Look how beautiful you are as you cum.” 

After a moment of hesitation, you obliged, opening your eyes again and staring directly at him in the mirror. 

“Close,” you said, your legs quivering. You leaned into his chest harder for support. 

“I know,” he replied. Seokjin was drunk on the tiny whimpers exiting your mouth, how you wriggled against him during moments of more intense sensation. How could he ever want anything more from the world when he had this moment, the bright afternoon light cascading over your bodies through the window, the sheen of sweat coating your skin looking like diamonds. Your eyes were bright and hungry, chasing your end with the determination that he always admired in you. 

It was the same hunger you had for knowledge, those days at the restaurant when he would pull you out of your textbooks and notetaking because you failed to hear the chime of the door alerting you to the fact that customers had arrived. You would always look at him with a daze, but like you were craving to delve back in, to learn the next part about family structures and psychology of developing minds.  

This time though, that hunger was fixated on your orgasm, on Seokjin, how you untangled your hand from his to reach behind you and grab his cock, pulling it through your legs so you could grind down on it, your hips jutting against him as he slid between your damp thighs and against the toy. You smirked darkly, satisfied that he would play this game with you, and would follow your lead with the rocking of his hips. 

He loved that you were challenging him. He was quickly learning that you desired–no, required– the reminder that you were truly the one in control, even if you were submissive. You were setting the parameters of the boundaries, the cat and mouse games weaving in and out so you could explore how far you wanted to go, where the lines you wouldn’t cross were. 

It was a lot more intuitive than Seokjin would have thought, how he could recognize your hesitation in some moments and provide reassurance through a question, or recognize what situations of you grabbing his hand were a hard stop, and what other times were meaning you were so overcome with pleasure that you needed something to hold onto. 

He was happy to do this, so happy and lucky and bewildered that this was real, that you were real. He needed to steady himself, and so he took your hand in his once more, reveling in the warmth of your softness. 

He pulled the hand to his mouth, kissing it. Your eyes were glassy, a soft smile blooming as you embraced the tender gesture.

You ground down harder, your movements becoming sloppier as you heaved another breath in your chest. 

“Close,” you said again. This time with more urgency. Your brows furrowed, your thighs snapping together, and then your orgasm rocked through you, heavy delicious shakes spiraling out from you, clamping down on the toy and also his cock between your legs, a rush of dampness spilling out from you. . 

“Please, please, please, please,” you begged, still shaking, still in the midst of intensity, though Seokjin didn’t know what you were begging for. His brain was fuzzy as he watched you cresting with pleasure. Did you want him to turn off the toy? As he moved your hands on the vibrator toward the off button you shook again, adding a shake of your head. 

“No, no. More, Jinnie, please more.” He was a bit shocked by the way you were whining so desperately for him, but it encouraged him to move your hands toward the other buttons that turned up the settings. 

With a sharper, higher buzz, he watched in awe as you coasted from one orgasm to the next, thighs shaking so hard your knees were failing, and he had to curl his hand around your waist to ensure you didn’t fall to the ground. 

“Yes,” you sighed, the word repeated over and over and over like a spell. You looked directly at him as you moaned, like you were championing him through this orgasm, your eyes melting into a thicker, warmer gaze as you ground harder against him and the toy. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” He didn’t know what to say. He just watched you have two earth-shattering orgasms on top of him, against him, and you were asking for more. He settled on words that barely touched the surface, but would do for the moment. “You’re incredible.”

As you pushed further toward the edge, you looked at your body, and before you could even begin to think, he was kissing your neck, whispering in between kisses. 

He took your laced hands, trailing your fingers over your thigh. 

“Gorgeous. Look at yourself. So soft and sweet and wet. You can do it, baby, let yourself go.”

And somehow, though he was ready to deliver you a string of other encouragement, you broke, a throaty, clipped yelp carrying across the room as you came. 

“Oh my god, oh my god,” you heaved, your eyes shining wet with tears that leaked out of you. You laughed lightly, euphoric and almost giddy as your legs wobbled. He noticed you began to tilt more toward the floor, and quickly Seokjin threw his arms around you before you fell,  hoisting  you up against him, kissing your temple and cheek. He reached down and turned off the vibrator, your hips still bucking in the after shock. 

“That’s my good girl.”

“Shit.”

You both stood in the quiet, still in front of the mirror. You were panting, eyes locked on him. A smile crept up your face, and Seokjin felt full suddenly, like he was feasting on his adoration for you as it grew by the minute. He was grinning back, his cheeks hurting from how much he’d been doing that all day. 

After a moment, he pulled the vibrator out of you. You winced at the sensitivity, but there were still stars in your eyes as you basked in the afterglow. Your eyes followed the threads of arousal clinging to you and the toy, its silicone shiny and slick as Seokjin took it into his hand and tossed it on the bed. 

He studied you carefully, watching intently to gauge your mood in case you crashed. But you were glowing and sighing happily against him, ready to tug your tangled fingers from his. 

But Seokjin had other ideas. He took your joined hands, drawing small circles on your thighs. 

“But, you’re still hard,” you said in protest. 

He was. Painfully so. He’d gotten so close to cumming when you writhed against him, but it could wait. This couldn’t. 

“Yes, and I’ll still be hard in a few minutes,” he said. “But I’m not done with you, yet. It’s still your turn.” 

“I don’t think I can cum again so soon. I still feel the buzzing of the vibrator in my clit.” 

Seokjin chuckled fondly. “That’s okay, princess. That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”

“Then what-”

He shushed you, continuing the slow circles on your thighs. 

“I saw you starting to judge yourself back there,” he said softly. “Especially when you were about to cum. And I just want to say I see you, I witness you and all that you are. I see you so fully and I only hope one day you will see you how I see you. Your strong thighs that carry you from class to work and home every day.” 

He moved your hands up to your stomach. “Your stomach, which is a stomach. Muscles and organs and skin and, sure, fat. All those things nourishing your body, protecting you like armor. Softness, too.” He kissed your neck again, this time sucking in slightly. Just enough to bloom a hickey. 

He cocked an eyebrow when you moaned, clearly not opposed. 

“Definitely a fan of this part right here. But you know that,” he said, guiding your hands to your plump ass. He grabbed a handful of it, sighing. 

You giggled, the brightness in your eyes lively and playful as you hung on every word he said. 

“Love this part, this sweet, tight little pussy.” He ran a finger through you again, and you hissed when his knuckle brushed your clit. “Still a little too sensitive though. But truly, if I could, I’d live the remainder of my existence with you sitting on my face.” 

“Seokjin!” 

“It’s true!!! Beauty knows beauty. I would be honored if your beautiful pussy smothered my beautiful face.” 

“Oh my god,” you yanked at your hands, but he didn’t budge. 

“Okay, okay. I will stop talking about your tasty little pussy and how much I want to bury my nose in it, drown in it, worship it.” He moved his hands along your sides. “Strong hips, and the dip right here? Absolute masterpiece. The ancient Greeks would have fought each other to determine who got to carve those into marble.” 

You rolled your eyes but let him continue. 

When he arrived at your breasts, he cupped them with both hands, savoring the heaviness of them in his palms. “I have no words for these. Okay maybe a few. One time, you wore a lower cut shirt and just the suggestion of cleavage had me jacking off in the bathroom at work. I could not extinguish the boner that gave me. I was like a horny high school boy again. Honestly, I haven't had that happen since I was probably sixteen.” 

You both laughed, but you recovered as he moved inward, a little further up your chest. 

“There’s so much I love about you, Y/N. You’re compassionate and kind. The way you always go out of the way to help others in need. When you helped Yuna with the crates that fell over last week, spending longer cleaning them up than she did. Or how you are vulnerable with me when I haven’t even really been so with you.” 

You opened your mouth to protest but he squeezed your hand in warning. “Don’t even deny it baby. We both know it. But that’s not the point. Your heart is so pure, so effervescent. You find so much joy in things. I remember you telling me about the snow. How it made you feel the romance of the air. That’s something so beautiful, and I see it in you every day.”

You took a deep breath, and he smiled softly as you looked at your connected hands over your chest. 

“I could go on and on. Your ticklish neck. How your lips pout and your eyes are like moonbeams. How you work so hard to make a difference and find a way to get through it despite it all. How am I so lucky to hold you right now? You’re so real in my arms, but sometimes, I swear I’ve dreamed you.” 

“I’m real,” you said hoarsely. “This is real.” 

You also sounded like you couldn’t believe it, but as Seokjin released your hands, he turned your body toward him, placing his thumb on your bottom lip. 

“Yes. Yes, this is real.” 

Seokjin leaned down, tucking his hand behind your head and kissing you, just to prove that you both hadn’t imagined each other. 

After a long, distracting shower that started as a shower but ended with Seokjin’s cum on your chest, thus being the cause for another shower, you now are both clean, dressed, and hungry. 

“Hey,” Seokjin says, lightly pulling the comb he was using for his hair through the ends of yours. 

“Mmm?” You’re a bit sore and tired, your legs still feeling like noodles after the three orgasms he pulled out of you earlier, plus the intense sex you had last night. 

“Food,” he deadpans. 

“Ugh, can we order something? I don’t want to move.” 

“If we do that you know it’s going to just end up with me fucking you on the couch.” 

You turn around from your spot on the floor, Seokjin’s legs wide as he sits on the couch with you between them. You look at his crotch, noticing that while he’s not hard, his natural bulge still has your mouth watering at the idea of what’s hidden beneath his pants.

Seokjin clears his throat and you look up. He cocks his head. 

“No, I know, you’re right. Plus, we still need to get you a new phone.” 

At the mention of his phone, he tenses, the realization dawning on him. His eyes look down to your phone on the coffee table. “Fuck, I completely forgot. Shit, what time is it? Do we still have time?” 

You tap the screen of your phone, the bright light alerting you to the fact that while you have time, you don’t have much.

“God, I can’t believe I forgot to go do that. I’m sure there’s a thousand texts waiting for me from my mother and what if something happened to the restaurant and–” 

“Relax! It’s okay; let’s go now. There’s a store around the block from here. And then while we’re out maybe we can go get some dinner? I have been wanting to try this Italian place that has these viral garlic knots and oh my god you’re allergic to garlic nevermind.”

The words rush out of you in a puff of air. You begin to feel embarrassed for forgetting such a crucial allergy. 

“It’s not going to kill me,” he says, the warmth of his voice and depth of his brown eyes looking at you sending a shiver down your spine. “Thank you for remembering my allergy, though. Of course we can go get dinner. That sounds perfect.”

He cups your cheek in his hand, and you feel yourself melt into the touch. It’s almost as if he’s glued to you, finding excuses to tuck your hair behind your ear or place a kiss on your neck. Almost like he’s been starved for hundreds of years and now he’s finally getting his fill. 

You can’t say you blame him. Since last night, you too have been using any chance you can get to touch him, to feel his wholeness and realness under your fingertips. 

It’s not that you’re in denial any of this is happening. You know Seokjin is sitting behind you, his plump lips smacking as he takes one last bite of the rice you hurriedly threw into the rice cooker before your shower to satiate some of the ravenous hunger you had.

Little did you know, that your hunger is less for food and more for something else. But you think it’s important to set the tone with a more official date. Besides, successful dinners often mean successful post dinner drinks, post dinner kisses at your door and then in your kitchen and your bed. 

Your mind begins to wander to what happened merely forty five minutes ago in the shower. You had both decided to shower together; the idea of being separated and out of each other’s sight somehow wrenched some type of panic out of you that Seokjin quickly extinguished with a reassuring peck as he led you into the bathroom, turning on the faucet and gesturing for you to get in. 

He’d softened a bit from the very hard and very painful looking erection he’d sported earlier, but his cock had twitched right as you stepped under the water, and before long you found you couldn’t help yourself, bending down until it was level with your face. 

There was a deep satisfaction you got staring up at him as you’d taken him into your mouth, the spray of water from the shower head occasionally hitting over his shoulders to splatter droplets down his perfectly toned abs. He watched you so intently, his gaze scorching hot on your body when he glazed over it. When he came on your chest, you could see that there was still a glint of heat in his eyes, but he didn’t act on it. Instead, he washed himself off of you with your body wash and then wrapped you tightly in a towel. 

Your hand digs into the fabric of your shorts as you shake the memory away. The lingering heat in your core begins to stir anew. God. You have to leave the house. 

You gather up your things and idle in front of the door as Seokjin slowly saunters around, collecting his belongings that have been strewn across the apartment throughout the day, his eyes scanning the room one last time before he places his hand on your waist, dipping down to kiss you again.

“You could have left your stuff here for later, you know.” 

“Ah but if I don’t get it together I won’t ever leave. And after I get my phone and feed you, I know I’ll have work to do. So as much as I love the idea of staying, we both knowI need to leave at some point.” 

You feel a pang of disappointment in your chest but it ends when he wraps his arms around you, sealing you two back together. 

You let him part your lips with his, let his tongue slide into yours. Let him push you firmly against the door and kiss you harder with need, starving and addicted at the same time, like he can’t bring himself to stop. 

When he comes up for air, somehow you find the strength to push him away, his hair mussed from you digging your hands into it without noticing. You flip a few pieces of his hair back into place, smiling at him in response to his huge grin and flushed cheeks.

“We need to go,” you say. He groans. “Seokjin, you said so yourself that you need a new phone.” 

“I know, but I…I don’t know I feel like there’s this little universe we are in right now. It’s like when we walk out that door I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Is that weird?”

It isn’t. It’s the exact feeling you’ve been churning in your brain all morning. You nod and think for a moment before responding. 

“What if we make a promise like we did last winter? When we were on top of the mountain and we decided that for that moment we were one version of ourselves up there before we came back down here?” 

His brow furrowed. “So what would we be like out there? Is this version of us people we are leaving at the door?” Disappointment washed over his face. “But I like this version of us. I don’t want to keep this a secret.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, let’s take a minute then and decide who we want to be when we step into the hallway.”

He leans in, still trapping you against the closed door, his forearms resting on the wood above your head. 

“Okay,” he whispers. “I think I know who I want to be.” 

“Tell me.” 

“I want to be your boyfriend. I want to call you my girlfriend, take you out to eat. I want to buy you flowers on your happiest and saddest of days.” He studies your face, which you assume is surprised because his eyes flash wide and ears turn bright red. “I’m sorry, that’s inappropriate. We don’t have to label it.”

Your stomach tenses as he does, his body locked in place like a scared deer. 

“We can though,” you offer. “I can be your girlfriend when we walk outside of here. I want that. And I want…to be more confident and less insecure. To trust that my spiral of thoughts aren’t always real.” 

Seokjin smiles and slowly his body comes back to life, melting away the freeze as he steps back to take a deep breath. 

“Okay then. Let’s go exist in society.” 

A chuckle slips out of you as you register his annoyed tone. “Life is outside, not just in this room. And besides, I have no food in my fridge because I haven’t had the time to go shopping, and we keep putting off eating for other things.” 

“Other things,” he muses. “Cute.” 

You roll your eyes and open the door to the outside world. 

“Wait,” Seokjin says. You stop, your feet in the hallway while he remains in your apartment. 

“Yeah?”

He hesitates like he’s now regretting saying anything at all. He takes a deep breath and leans down. 

“There’s something I want to talk to you about. To tell you…”

You wait, trying not to alert him to how hungry you are as you silently beg your stomach not to betray you. A tiny squeak responds, but he doesn’t react. You know this is probably the moment, and you want to ensure you don’t do anything to make him feel like you’re judging him. It’s hard to keep your expression neutral, but you try. 

“I know that this has been a weird start. In a lot of ways during the last few months you’ve started sharing things with me more than I have been able to with you. And I…I can see how you’re trying to let me into your world. And I want to let you know that while it’s hard to get past myself sometimes, I’m trying. I want you to know me. All of me.” 

You nod, encouraging him to continue. 

“I just…there’s some things I’m not ready to talk about yet. I know that sounds sketchy and you have a right to feel like I’m being sneaky and deceiving you. I understand if you feel like I’m not trustworthy. But I have some stuff I’m figuring out that I will tell you about at some point, I promise. But if I can ask too much of you and more to say just be patient with me, please. I’ll figure out how to talk about it with you soon but right now I can’t and I’m sorry. Can you do that? Can you let us be like this for a while longer?” 

That is not what you expect him to say. He’s going to be withholding things from you. And while you’re relieved he’s saying so, how anxious it makes you to know that you currently stand on one side of the threshold, now as his girlfriend, as someone who is supposed to be confident and trusting. And you’re already slipping back into the usual. 

But you can’t help it, in a way. He hasn’t taken the literal step yet. He could change his mind at any point and tell you this isn’t what he wants. 

But you can tell that regardless of the insecurity, he does want this. He looks so nervous, so vulnerable and terrified. And you know what that feels like, how awful a place it is as you wait for an answer. So you don’t string it along for much longer. You bite your bottom lip and nod. 

“Okay,” you say. “We can be like this a while longer.” 

His shoulders relax and he finally steps across the threshold and into the hallway with you. Into a place that ensures nothing between you two will ever be the same. 

But you’re not alone out here. He takes your hand in his, bringing up to his mouth to kiss the knuckles. Your boyfriend leads you down the stairs to the street. 

“I can’t believe I’ve been without my phone for this long,” Seokjin says as you walk in an easy stride together toward the phone store. “I must have so many messages in my voicemail.” 

Your stomach drops, a bitter cold and tingly feeling working its way down your spine and up through your chest as you remember part of last night. The part where you met his friend Jungkook after calling him out and telling him you knew he was a sex warm worker in the middle of a restaurant. Over voicemail. 

That message is sitting there, after you just agreed you will let him tell you in his own time. Your pace slows as your mind races, trying to think of some type of way to distract Seokjin long enough to prevent him from checking his messages until later. Maybe you can delete the message before he hears it?

He notices the slow down, turning his head toward you as you both shuffle across the sidewalk. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah,” you reply, your voice sounding thin and higher pitched, something unlike your normal voice. He frowns.

“It’s nothing,” you lie. “Just the adjustment to being around strangers again after being in our own universe instead of the real world.” 

He hums in thought. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t ready for the whole sea of people to be out and about at this time of day.” 

You relax a little for the remainder of the walk, until you arrive at the phone store. 

Then your heart pounds violently, so hard that you can feel in your ears.

Seokjin waltzes over to the counter, telling the employee exactly what he wants and how he lost his phone in the first place. 

“That’s the third one this week I’ve heard that exact story about. Crazy, huh?” The employee, a stout man in a polo, looks to you as if your word is all the validation he needs. 

“Um, yeah,” you say. You look at the display of different phone options, trying to do something with your hands to steady you. 

Seokjin is about to find out that you know. He’s going to learn about it through the horrific, awful drunk tirade you went on last night. You’ll hurt him. You’ll only add to that fodder of him not feeling lovable. 

Your hands shake as Seokjin says something to the employee and laughs, his windshield wiper like laughter squeaking from him. In betrayal, your body responds to it, a sharp and incredibly temporary flutter of joy masking the terror that you feel in his discovery. What if he thinks you have bad intentions? That you’re using him as a personal toy. 

A knot of bile starts to crawl up your throat and you gesture at Seokjin, his eyes meeting yours as you point to the door. You must look awful because he nods, his eyebrows furrowing as you slide out the door. 

Air, you need air. The sticky summer humidity isn’t offering much relief but you inhale anyway, full breaths expanding your lungs and helping soothe a bit of the nausea. 

You close your eyes. You can’t watch his face as he learns. Can’t see the betrayal as whatever you said last night in all your fogginess is pulled into thin air. So you sit there, breathing over and over again, trying to steady yourself. 

Your mouth is dry. If he wants to talk you’re not sure you’ll have the words much less be able to work around the bitter taste in your mouth as you try to form your lips around the words to speak them. 

How quickly can you fuck up a relationship? Will this be some kind of world record for the fastest time someone is dated and then dumped? How long has it been? A handful of hours since Seokjin said he wanted to date you. A handful of minutes since you became his girlfriend and another handful of minutes that feel like hours since he stepped into that shop. Seconds until you’re told all this ends here. 

Can you mourn something you never even really had? You’re learning now that yes. That the idea of it was enough because that cloying tenseness in your throat has worked its way up to bead a few tears from your eyes. 

Why do you always cry now, you wonder. This has been an ongoing thing with you, tears springing free during moments of anxiety or joy or fear. You haven’t had the chance to decode any of that. You just know Seokjin feels safe to cry around. But now, he’s going to see you like this and what if he thinks you’re manipulating him? 

You rasp a breath to your lungs, the tears falling more freely as you heave into the air. The sun is setting, the hot summer night breaking through the sky in streams of pinks and oranges and purples. Any other time it would be beautiful but right now it feels like the sky is falling. 

You hold the air into your lungs, out of forgetting to breathe or intentionally trying to steady yourself, it’s hard to know. They both feel like the same thing right now. 

“Y/N?” 

Your head snaps around, and despite the fear of what you’ll see, you can’t deny him anything. Not now. You look at Seokjin, his brand new phone in his hands, eyes wide with concern. 

“What happened? Are you hurt? Did someone do something?” 

He looks you up and down and then rapidly flits to your surroundings, no doubt looking for some kind of perpetrator or cause for your tears. 

“‘m fine,” you somehow mutter through another heavy breath. 

“No, no you’re not. What’s going on? You’re shaking, baby. Come here.” 

Your teeth chatter, exposing you, but before you can protest, Seokjin wraps his arms around you, slowly rocking you back and forth on the sidewalk in the dying light. 

You’re glad he doesn’t say anything, because the idea of him being nice to you all the while knowing you have said such awful things makes you want to throw up. 

Instead, you stand in the hot air, your bodies sweating after only a moment of the embrace. 

When your breathing finally steadies, Seokjin pulls away, a soft smile on his face as he brushes his fingers under your eyes to wipe your tears. The gesture is so sweet it rots a hole in your stomach. 

Say something, it demands. 

“Messages,” you say. That’s all you can get out, your body’s remaining tremor threatening to travel up to your teeth. 

Seokjin stares at you blankly. Is he shocked you’re the one to bring it up? 

His eyebrows raise as he finally registers what you just said. 

“Oh,” he says. 

Oh. So simple. Not a nose dive into fury or a tip into an argument. Just one word ringing across the atoms between you too. 

Please, you think. Please just get this over with. 

“So you heard them?” you ask. 

He frowns, holding up the new shiny phone in front of you. 

“Um, no actually. Turns out that there’s some stupid issue they’re having moving voicemails from one phone to another. Not a cloud issue but a carrier problem. So if someone called me during the time my phone was dead, I have no idea. No messages.” 

You blink at him. “What?”

“I know, it’s frustrating. Now I have to double back and call everyone I can think of. My parents, my brother. The restaurant. The suppliers, the dry cleaner. In a way I’m almost relieved I don’t have any messages because I can now lean into the fact that I played hooky so I could stay home with you and use it as a far better excuse than what I was planning but it’s still such a fucking inconvenience.” 

He didn’t hear. He doesn’t know. A cool breeze flows through the street, rustling some trash and leaves in the road. You feel the heat of the panic attack begin to recede as realization sets in. 

“Either way, that’s not the point. Are you okay? You look pretty shaken up and your eyes were like wide lamps of terror when I stepped outside.” 

“I…I panicked,” you offer after a moment. “Not sure what it was but it just hit and I needed to get out.” 

The threat of bile rises in your throat as you tack on the lie. 

“Was it that employee? Because he was kind of a weird dude. Gave me strange vibes.”

“Maybe,” you say. 

“Okay, well I’m glad you’re okay now. Are you ready to go eat? I heard your stomach growling earlier so I know you must be starving.” 

You nod, letting Seokjin walk you toward the restaurant. Another lie. 

You feel nothing resembling hunger in your stomach. Instead, you feel the unmistakable heaviness of guilt, leaden and metallic in your mouth. You don’t eat a single thing. And Seokjin doesn’t say so, but the way he regards you as you dump your whole meal into a carry out container tells you he also knows you’re lying to him but just hasn’t asked the question you don’t want to answer.

He walks you home in the darkness, the warped spotlights of street lamps flickering continue to paint your bodies. Dark and light. Dark and light. Shadows and moonlight. In this scenario, you think you know who is the shadow and who is the moonlight. 

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

[videcoeur]

once im not sick its over for all of you. I have so much pent up creativity.

[poorlydrawnandroids]

…

Unfortunately they did not get burgers for Hank, but Connor at least learned a valuable lesson. I guess Nines suffers from Amelia Bedelia Syndrome.

———

Hi guys, this is actually a comic I drew and basically finished 11 months ago. And it’s been just about then since I’ve last really opened my iPad and did any drawing. There’s a ton of half-completed works on there and they’re pretty cute, so I’ll try to post them as I get the motivation. My therapist says posting to this blog will probably improve my mental health and he’s right but >:3c

So yeah! Let’s see what I can toss out this year, wooo!!

[aletheialed]

Right now, wine glass in hand and staring vacantly into the dark corners of the room in which he dwells - Barok can't help but think about his brother. To think about Klint during hard times, the man who he's always admired so much, has always come naturally to him - but it can't bring him any comfort now.

The truth is, Barok doesn't know what he should feel more betrayed about. The fact that the brother he'd wanted to emulate all his life was nothing but a killer, who's actions resulted in the ending and ruining of so many lives, including Barok's own? Or... is it that, until the very end, Klint was too afraid to share that horrible truth with him, even when that fear allowed him to be controlled into committing the most heinous acts imaginable?

It makes him want to laugh with a bitterness he hasn't felt in years. It makes him feel ill; desperate and angry and like a fraying rope about to snap. Perhaps it's sinful, and a sign of Barok's own weak character, that Klint's lack of trust in him might be what hurts the most. Had he thought Barok would break under the weight of the truth, and sought to protect him from that fate? What's worse is that Barok doesn't know how he would've reacted deep down. What's the scarier thought - that Barok would've turned away in despair and been unable to carry on just as his brother feared, or that he would stand with Klint, perhaps even turning a blind eye to his crimes...?

...There's no point in thinking about it now. But if he doesn't think about Klint, then there's no shortage of other things to take his place at the forefront of his mind. Such as the true identity of the Reaper, and how Barok had been complicit in his crimes for the longest time - allowing himself to be used and manipulated like a puppet on a string, even when he didn't see the full extent of it all.

His whole life, these past ten years in which he thought he'd endured so much, all for the sake of the people of London... what were they all for?

When he hears the knock on the door, it's tempting to ignore it entirely - he barely has the energy to stand, anyway. He doesn't know who it could possibly be, considering everything, but... in the end, he rises like a man possessed, and finds himself walking to open the door as if in a trance. What he sees when the door opens is the last thing he expects.

"Mr... Naruhodo...? You... pray tell, what are you doing here at this hour?"

@tenacquity ( starter! )

[wildskissed]

I will get to the starters tonight after my shift. I can't wait to write some more! I really have missed you guys a lot.

[phoenix-flamed]

Still though, buries my face in my hands because thank you guys for always being so kind to me. I appreciate it, I really do! Thank you. And thank you for letting me write with you -- and to those I haven't quite written with yet, I can't wait to meet you and get some interactions going!

[jupitergames-if]

real quick shoutout to campfirewriting.com for singlehandedly demolishing my writer's block

i've whipped out 700 words in about an hour. i know that doesn't sound like much, but compared to what i've been managing, it's a lot lmao

anyways, chapter 1 is coming along finally

[despairforme]