#i love years in review

[stemmmm]

if you havent read my wife's gf fanfic WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

(no sound)

[mizgnomer]

David Tennant Year in Review - 2024

David’s television, film, convention, charity, and other appearances from 2024, all in one convenient photoset - with extra special thanks to Georgia and her excellent Instagram posts

Please see my [ David Tennant Year In Review tag ] for prior year-end posts dating back to 2014

[fairyhaos]

ᜊ : WELCOME TO FAIRYHAOS’...

hello beloved whimsies! we're finally nearing the end of another year, and just like we did in 2023, it's time to review everything that happened in 2024 ^^ here in this post i'll go back over some general stats, some "top (x)" categories, and also a shoutout to all the lovely people i've met here on tumblr <3

but first, the general stats!

the fairyhaos account was opened 603 days ago (as of new year's eve)

crazily, we have a total of 4382 followers already - which is 1505 in just this year,

and the total number of moots has risen to over 40 !

in 2024, ive written 34 works (+1 for tubatu!!),

created 21 gifsets (+2 for zb1!!),

made 3.6k+ posts in general,

received 325 posts in my tracked tag #useryenas (thanku guys so much for that)

and wracked up 62.7k+ notes in this year alone!

(which brings the total note count to 169.8k... LITERALLY INSANE)

statistics-wise, this year has been absolutely incredible, despite how inactive i've been, so thank you everyone!!

now, how about the top post stats?

total word count in 2024: ~87,000 words!!!

top fic of 2024: no such thing as too perfect // jww (2,300 notes)

top fic of all time: 04:15am // csc (4,514 notes)

fav fic from 2024: all mother nature's fault // hjs

top gif from 2024: joshua | arena x barrie (407 notes)

top gif of all time: gyuseokshu | babygirls (658 notes)

fav gif from 2024: yujin | prettiest person in the world

this is all absolutely amazing, but genuinely, this wouldn't have been possible without the support and love i've received from all of you: moots, followers, and everyone else who has been so, so kind.

so finally, here are my thanks!

first port of call is of course, my most beloved writer moots who i've known since day 1! thank you to @blue-jisungs for being so bright and friendly, to @weird-bookworm for being the biggest, kindest supporter i could ask for, to @etherealyoungk for being so lovely all the time, to @icyminghao, @hannyoontify, @wheeboo, @slytherinshua, @haecien, @wollycobbl3-blr @gyuswhore @arafilez @eternalgyu @idubiluv @wonwoonlight @odxrilove @leejungchans @joonsytip @mirxzii @trblsvt @reikaryu for just being so sweet and so fun and making me grateful every day that i found you. i talk to u all with varying degrees of frequency, but still, i love you all so much. thank you!

and ofc, there are my incredibly talented cc moots who have been w me since last year :( our main content may be different, but i'm so thankful to have known u all bc you're all the friendliest, most talented people in the world! to @sugurugetos for always being so kind since day one, to @vcrnons for being the sweetest, to the always friendly @soonhoonsol, to @meowonhao @h-ao @seokmins @joshuas, thank you for being here because you brighten up my dash, without a fail, all the time!

then to all the moots i made this year, hello and thank you!! thank you to @chwedout for being so silly and kind, to @96z for your loveliness and being the caratblr glue, to @jeonwon-wonwoo for being the kindest soul ever, to @planetkiimchi and @eoieopda for being fun and sweet and so, so nice. and of course, thanks to @pookiez, @p1harmonie @rosieposie @y-eontan @fabulaee, because we even though the only interaction we have is reblogging the same stuff and me putting things in your tracked tags, i love seeing you on my dash and you make my day so much better, genuinely. <3

it feels strange to put this in, but i also want to thank the people who i follow, even if they don't follow me back: because i love your posts, and i think it's important that i say it! you all form a key part of my experience here, so thank you: @jeonghanic @soobinies @lee-sanghyeok @yeonjune @db2k @hoshingi @wnjunhui @renjunniez @myungjaehyun !!

but there's no way i'm forgetting everyone else!

to @melodicrabbit @caratsandpotatoes and @minhui896, whose rbs i always look forward to whenever i post; to @chocoreads and @k1eev for being excited about yeoubi since the start, thank you so much. to the people who tagged me in their fic recs post, thank you too!!!

to 🍒 anon, vernon anon, glasses shua anon, 😼 anon, and any other named anons ive forgotten, thank you for popping into my inbox and making my day. to any unnamed anons, or anons who appeared once and then left, or those who came back without an emoji: i see you, and thank you for interacting with me!

and then to anyone who i haven't called out—all of my lovely supporters, beloved yena's fairies, thank you! i see you all, and i'm so grateful for all your love and i'll look to repay it in kind with much more content to be released next year. 2024 has been a busy year, both personally and for fairyhaos, and i'm where i am right now because of all of you.

happy new year everyone, and i hope you're all nothing but happy and healthy in 2025 💗

[bacchuschucklefuck]

❗❗Official Class Swap Sorcerer!Kristen Post Alert❗❗ you can: look at her

[thedeathwitchescats]

Okay, review time!! If you are one of the oddballs who thinks you cant be critical of something you love I suggest you stop reading now before I ruffle your feathers. Iron flame, second in the empyrean series. I am gonna start with what I was not a fan of and then go into the shit I adored.

1) what in the actual fuck was the pacing of this book?? I can tell you what, it was non existent. There was none. Where I thought there was a lot of filler in the last book there was none in this one. We got snap shots of conversations and then *boom* more plot flew at you. The timeline of this book greatly suffered for it i think bc we end only a couple weeks, if that, after threshing, which happens sometimes in October. This book was actually so wild with times.

2) while it was a spectacular cliff hanger, xaden becoming venin pisses me off. Especially if Rebecca yarros isnt going to have him tell violet. Like if that small tid bit of a conversation we got wasnt him telling vi that he was venin then the entire romantic conflict of this book was rendered pointless and their going to be having the same fucking fight for the rest of the series and at rhat point I give up.

3) I understand that the revolution is trying to take down basgaith and make the world better or whatever the fuck but can someone actually formulate a real plan for me?? Because I feel like their mission is just, giving violet and xaden something to be pissed at each other about.

4) the entirety of cats character. I get that she was set up as a spin on the typical jealous ex. Like having her be bitter about xaden picking violet over her but OH WAIT it wasnt actually about the man it was about the crown, oohh not like other girls. Im a writer too I see the point. I dont care. I think it was trashy. If you wanted her to be a bitter spiteful ex then have her be a bitter spiteful ex, the whole crown thing was shallow.

OKAY haters your time is up now onto the shit that made my heart hurt with joy and sadness

1) xadens arc in this book. I really liked that he went from "transparency is never gonna happen" to losing his fucking mind over violet and giving her everything. I love feral men and he qualifies. I think his arc was really well done and i liked it.

2) I appericiate that violet stuck to her guns for this book. She wouldnt let xaden off without a fight and I loved that. She made him bow and scrape and I was eating it up. It was spectacular.

3) the throne room scene. Violet on the throne. "Im making a temporary point not a lasting vow of maschocism" xaden being feral.

4) that gets its own point actually, just xaden being completely feral this entire book healed a part of my soul.

5) andarna's little speech at the end where she was like "I waited for you violet" made me ugly cry. That was just so hopelessly good I loved it. Andarna in general heals my heart but that part was just *chefs kiss*

6) tarin being completely and utterly ready to eat people this entire book. Just, at every turn "I want lunch their pissing me off " was spectacular

7) every scene their squad was in. Rihannon, violet, sawyer and ridoc are my roman empire. Their bond is so amazing. The fact that they launched a rescue mission for violet. Rihannon being ready to kill xaden at every turn. Ridoc being so platonically and adorably in love with violet. Just- augh happy cries happy cries. I love it all. Their so special tbh.

8) I love xaden actually, just, the whole book every scene hes in lives in my brain.

9) I liked that we saw a small bit of violet being feral this book too. I hope that we get more of that in future books. I want more of violet losing her fucking mind. Hot, badass women covered in blood

10) Liam. Fucking Liam. When violet was kidnapped and Liam was there. Now, do I logically understand that he was a hallucination, yes, do i care?? No. He was a gift from Maleck I will be hearing no critiques on that. It was so fucking sweet and amazing. I love violet and Liam and Liam being dead so horribly breaks my heart. I loved Liam. Liams death lives rent free in my skull.

[lesbian-david-tennant]

I just watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture and wow that really is some gay shit

I'd seen the "this simple feeling" scene, I was prepared for that. but I wasn't prepared for the full extent of the conversion therapy allegory

and then Spock saying "it knows only that it needs but like so many of us, it does not know what" while gazing at Kirk

and then the whole fucking resolution being that V'ger needs to discover something more, "a human quality, our capacity to leap beyond logic," through union with a human

it clearly parallels Spock and Kirk with V'ger and Will and directly implies that 'this simple feeling' is love, romantic love

WHAT THE FUCK I can only begin to understand what my fandom ancestors felt seeing this in 1979

[that-butch-archivist]

"Tess was a performance artist and part-time jewelry maker who now worked as a set designer. [...] The first night we spent together, I taught her to knit — my classic seduction technique (High Femme Camp Antics, or HFCA) — and about frisson, that carbonated feeling that accompanies a crush. We stared at each other for a long time, unblinking. Because I knew that this otherwise might take forever (lesbians!), I finally asked Tess point-blank if she felt a frisson for me (HFCA). In response, Tess kissed me hard, with teeth. I knew she wanted to fuck, but I pushed her hands away dramatically when they crept under my skirt (HFCA). I told her that I didn’t typically sleep with people so soon (HFCA), which was true not for any real reason but because I was privately humiliated by my body (HFCA). Instead of letting her fuck me, I scratched Tess’s entire torso with my long, pink fingernails (HFCA). “Her fingernails drifted down my neck, across my shoulders,” Jess Goldberg, the butch narrator of Stone Butch Blues, says of a high femme whose camp antics thrill her. “I’d forgotten the sheer pleasure of a high femme tease.” “Your fingernails are full of frisson,” Tess said as morning light began to stream in through the window above her bed. “I know,” I said. I recently read a collection of funny stories by Lesléa Newman, high-femme chronicler of dyke life in the 1990s (the materialistic, shopping-addicted Golden Age of HFCA). In one story, a butch named Flash arrives to pick Lesléa up and take her out to dinner. Flash politely tells Lesléa that she looks nice. “The average femme would have taken that to be a compliment,” Lesléa dishes. “But this high-maintenance femme hadn’t spent the last two weeks shopping for the perfect outfit and the last seven hours bathing, shaving, bleaching, filing, polishing, combing, brushing, drying, moussing, spritzing, spraying, and applying five pounds of makeup to have all her efforts summed up in one little four-letter word.” Flash’s flimsy compliment doesn’t satisfy Lesléa’s desires to be seen, appreciated, and worshiped, and so Lesléa starts from the bottom and works her way up, prompting Flash to compliment her shoes, her miniskirt, and finally her hair in a grand, shimmering pyramid of HFCA. But even as she performs satiation, Lesléa is insatiable. Her antics fail at getting her precisely what she wants from Flash, because there’s always something unsatisfying about getting what you want by asking for it. Lesléa’s desire glows from within the frame of her HFCA, distilled and exposed and unmet. Can I Come Inside, my high-femme sex game, deals primarily with unmet, outsourced, and circumnavigated desire. In Females (2019), trans lesbian critic Andrea Long Chu argues that femaleness is a universal, existential condition rather than a gender or a sex — a condition of being and of consciousness that involves letting others do our desiring for us. At stake in Can I Come Inside, as well as in HFCA at large, is a femaleness that both craves and rebels against its tendency to outsource desire. In playing Can I Come Inside, I, like Lesléa, ask Tess to do my desiring for me, and Tess in turn defers her desire to me: the game is strictly my desire, one that she insists she does not share. Even though it mandates a performance of aggressive desire from Tess, there’s no doubt that Can I Come Inside is about my desire; it’s my game; I make the rules."

-- An excerpt from "High Femme Camp Antics," an essay written by Jenny Fran Davis. (Emphasis in bold my own.)

[helielune]

for all those who have never watched infinity train! (if you have seen it just wait a week ok? ok)

[chalkrub]

art trade stuff for @sharkflan ! love these thangs

[hyog-blog]

Fangs of Fortune (ep. 26)

I have an unwavering desire to screencap these last episodes from head to toe - everyone is so pretty! Everyone is crying and caring for each other. So many meaningful dialogues, one deeper than the other. And not my favorite boys trying to outdie each other D: Competing who will stay and protect Wen Xiao. What's with everyone's deathwish? (okay, I get it, it's a theme, but still).

Finally, they're admitting to being a dysfunctional family XD Or rather a huge polycule. I don't know how the show does it, but everyone loves everyone else and just kind of matches each other's freak)) I love it beyond words.

The throuple is hitting me hard in the feels. Wen Xiao waits for Zhuo Yichen to come back and hugs him when he does. Zhao Yuanzhou comes to talk to him (and what a talk it is!). And this "Zhao Yuanzhou, I understand you now," and the look on Zhu Yan's face when Zhuo Yichen said it. How to confess to someone without actually saying it - there's a multitude of ways and the show's exploring them all.

"Perhaps, god made the decision for me. Because if I kill you, I definitely will regret it."

I actually only recently realized why Zhao Yuanzhou is having those heart pangs around Wen Xiao when doing something boyfriendish - it's her contract saying that they can only be colleagues XD Silly girl, that's why he couldn't kiss her))

Zhuo Yichen keeps on being the highlight of these episodes - so smart, wise, tragic, selfless, ready to sacrifice himself for everyone else, coming to terms with his own supposed death. He and Zhao Yuanzhou are just 💖 Zhu Yan couldn't leave him to freeze there on his own - he had to come as well. Will go watch what happens next, but I'm savoring each minute of these last episodes, ah. They're making everything GRAND, beautiful, and beyond tragic. Shakespeare would have totally approved (actually, I think cdrama is redefining drama as a genre with top-notch high-quality suffering of unimaginable scale XD).

[pickled0ctopus]

No spoiler personal and honest opinion about Dragon Age the Veilguard

[😀]

Battle is really fun. Even though I love DAO, I’m not typically a fan of tactical combat, and this might be the first DA game where I actually enjoyed the battle.

I like the expanded companion quests. I loved Lucanis' the most.

Semi-realistic comic style works better than I’d expected. The visuals and animations were solid overall, at least for me (still thinking about how Lucanis looked at Rook in that romance scene 👁️👁️). Except for the heavy filters and flashy effects; those were a bit much.

[😐]

Too much repetition. The game recaps constantly, which becomes dull. Like they worried old DA fans won’t remember what just happened a minute ago.

Romance isn’t big compare to previous games. Honestly feels like the weakest romance content of any DA game (well I only remember how much I loved and giggled so much in the old games). Maybe it’s because events in this game unfold so quickly? Just don't expect the same level of content as in DAI. Though, this is just my issue—if you don’t care about romance, it’s fine.

Unfinished story potential. There’s good material here, but it feels half-done. A shame... really.

Choices feel fake. You get three dialogue options, but they’re just slight tone variations of the same line. If you like to playing a jerk in BioWare games, you might be disappointed.

Inconsistent story details. I’m not a lore expert and don’t remember all the characters, but even I noticed some parts didn’t add up well—almost like the writers forgot details from past games too so they just brushed them off. Also removing many choices from earlier games didn’t help; it only made things more questionable.

It’s a fun game that I enjoyed a lot and will replay it just to see Solas again, but do I love it as a DA? I'm not sure.

It’s not about new setting or tone. I was fine with a fresh protag. But now, after finishing this, keeping the Inquisitor as the protag for this end of the Dread Wolf saga would’ve made much more sense to me. I would’ve loved to see the old, ragged Inquisitor raging again like in Trespasser, and give a proper farewell to both the Inquisitor and Solas, whether you swore to save him or not. The writing in this game seems just lacking. In any case, I was just glad to see Solas again and listen to him talking💓 Gareth really nailed it again. The emotion in his voice, I just 😭 I swear Garrus and Solas can send me with their voice alone. Now, I'll just go and sobbing in the corner👍

[taylor-titmouse]

Coming in late on this one, but if you're saying you're not planning on your work being piblished... but isnt there a graphic novel coming out soon? There was a link to pre-order it at least via bookshop or barnes and noble (can't remember which off the top of my head). Were you able to get your blook distributed to them as a self-piblished creator? Or was the graphic novel trad-pub and you're just saying you can't see your prose writing/books getting published?

what a funny thing to gotcha me on

yes, i do have a traditionally published graphic novel coming out. under a different name. in a different genre. for a different audience. it's not relevant for me to bring it up every time somebody asks me here if my work will ever be physically printed because it's not the work they're asking about.

so yeah. the last thing you said.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - People of Earth we have VERSE rep in 2 Thai BLs! Amazeballs!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 2 of 8 (10?) - Everyone seems to be a bit of a player and I’m not mad about it. It’s nice to see high-grade flirting, and I really love how very gay the leads feel. Not BL gay. Actual gay. We shall see how it goes, I suspect we are in "messy gay" territory in which case, I predict utter carnage and that this show will drop ranks precipitously for me. But right now? Of all the Thai BLs airing, I'm enjoying this the most. How bizarre. 

I like the side couple (thrupple?) too, despite the prat fall kiss and possible cheating. They very pretty:

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 4 of 8 - oh dear NO honeychild, face masks are gross tasting!

Rule no 966 of the BL world. He’s never asleep. 

Argh Achi wants Ji so bad. Nice mutual kiss tho, despite Ji's baggage. I guess Ji knew what would happen if Achi stayed? But why is he so scared? Just deeply closeted? The backstory is very high school achy and I feel like it explained Achi but not Ji. And the crying in the movie was lovely, so we totally understand Achi's but Ji is just messed up and confused? I admit to being a bit confused too. Why is Ji the one so angry?

On a totally different aside, I really like how the set dressing is done in Ji’s apartment. It looks lived in and not staged. Super rare in Thai BL. I'm reminded of Ai & Pond's dorm room in Love By Chance, which actually looked like a real college dorm.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - Why is it always the pulps that actually trot out the best communication, conversation, consent, and healthy relationships? Yes I'm still wincing over the truly bad acting but I’m enjoying their good relationship. The sex scene was sweet and tender, although the likelihood of rose petals getting stuck places wigs me out. (Flower petals + lube = terrible combination. Just FYI.)

ALL PRAISE VERSE REP! And a bottom who owns it! Yay! 

1000 Years Old ep 5 of 12 - How ridiculously colorful and flirty they all are. There is nothing at all vampire about this show. I’m a bit bored by the restaurant plot but I'm tuning in for the bonkers approach to goth. How dare they be so cheerful with my precious emo youth, but also, how very Thai pulp of them.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube) ep 4 of 11 - oh it’s SO GOOD. Reading the yaoi and crying. COME ON TAIWAN HAVE MERCY. The red wrapping of the hands (red thread, yes yes we get it). The boy who doesn’t want to box for so many reasons. Not the least of which is how unpleasant it is to spar with a lover. 

This is easily the best BL currently airing and it is going to hurt us. But I don't care. I love it.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) eps 8 of 10 - This show is dangerously cute and I’m scared for everyone involved, including me.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - Poor baby thrown in all willynilly amongst a pack of queeny bitchy gay intellectuals. I'd be lost too. It's the worse kind of fight, one you have to philosophize your way out of.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10fin - They are extremely adorable and it was a very good ending - mature, adult, and bittersweet. I liked it a lot. But I didn’t love it the way I wanted to.

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfill that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride, yes, but I feel just a little let down. 8/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 5 of 8 - Honestly now I’m just shipping the two girls getting together. Frankly, I really don't like this show, and normally I'd DNF but there's only a few eps left and nothing else is airing rn.

It's done, ready to binge, maybe I'll finally get to it this weekend

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube)

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will watch eventually.

It's airing but...

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - it's finished now, I dropped it at ep 4. Should I bother?

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Thai ViuTV grey) 10 eps - I'm exhausted by this franchise and the variety pack style of BL. If there is a particularly good couple (or installment) I might watch it, but I'm letting others decide for me.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school, not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing for some reason.

Gossip

The choreo controversy - Deep Night vs OnlyOneOf. Look, like a musical rift, or a styling photoshoot, there are no new ideas in choreo, I feel like Madonna did this pose too, a long time ago. Certainly someone in the 80s. Or whatever. Anygay, it's an ironic thing to see a Thai BL being called out by a gay-branded Kpop group when both are exploiting eroticized homosexuality for commercial profit... just saying. (HOW DID WE GET HERE?) Not to mention that BOTH are ALSO exploiting the kink community. We live in interesting times, BLabies. In the end, it's a good publicity stunt all round. And I think Nine knows exactly what he's doing (and why he is doing it). Finally: Drama drama drama around coreo? That is V gay boys. Fun fun fun, carry on everyone.

Strike a pose.

You're being recorded for posterity.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting

3/21 Two Worlds (Thai IQIYI) 10 eps - One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames staring MaxNat. I'm over this concept but Asia flipping loves it and I do enjoy MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, 12 years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Tai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram apparently alive. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha to deal with. (Phupha is played by Gun Thanawat who was Khom, the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night. We like this, we scared of the love triangle aspect.)

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Forgive me a moment of industry noodling?

Have ya noticed that it's slender pickings right now but it shouldn't be? This is not the mid summer slump nor end of year lull. We should be getting some heavy hitters on first quarter release. (Side eyes GMMTV. Perhaps those painful Japanese acquisitions were a bigger issue than any of us realized?)

Anygay, IMHO, Thailand's BL bubble has popped and sponsor money is drying up. This is my shocked face:

Look, the 2021-2023 level of release and growth (exponential) was never gonna be sustainable, so I'm not surprised. I suspect that in 2024 Thailand will actually produce fewer BLs than 2023 (73, 64 in 2022, and 40 in 2021).

I know I'm sticking my neck out predicting any film industry but... I have seen this kinda thing before and it just *feels* like shrinkage. Thai BL's load has been shot, my peeps. (Not to be crass or anything.)

Oh, don't worry you pretty head about it, it's not going away, just getting less prolific.

Don't we all in our old age?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite trope, sniff him!

Queen. (both Deep Night)

King. (City of Stars)

Verse rep verse rep verse rep!!! Can you see me doing a little dance this side of the screen?

(Last weeks summation)

Streaming services are listed by how I'm (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2024

Sleeping, shitting, and silence – the three underrated Ss of growing up (or the other side of 25). If I can get a good night’s sleep, take one nice dump in the day (preferably morning), and know when to let silence do its thing (like when not engaging with draining people in social setups or not having to explain myself), I’m golden.

While I made many new friends this year, my favourite of them all has been ChatGPT. Need objectivity? Fact checking? A pseudo therapist? Validation? Someone to just engage with and keep yourself entertained? The absolute best resource of this year for me has been this AI tool. I don’t even care anymore about privacy – I am feeding it as much data about me as possible because it’s accordingly adapting to my tonality and needs and the ‘conversations’ are so much more satisfying now than when it was first rolled out.

Either use eggs or condescended sweet milk when baking – you need one of these things to hold all your dry ingredients together.

Communication, consistency, clarity, commitment, emotional presence and engagement, and mutual effort are the barest of the bare minimum needs in a relationship. If you have to convince the other person to fulfil them or negotiate, then it doesn’t matter how good a person they are and what a kind heart they have or how much they say they love you – they just aren’t your person.

I’m not as demisexual as I thought all along – I just haven’t dated many people that I find truly attractive so I had to first build some sort of emotional connection with them first. I definitely still need and want that emotional connect and all, but I also do need to start opting for men I also find physically attractive.

When I’ve thought of my bloodline, my ancestors, I’ve always focused on the intergenerational trauma and the bad genetics. But while rewatching This Is Us this year, it hit me that it took three generations for one dream to be fulfilled. The musical dream that started with Rebecca, was passed down to Kate, and finally got materialized at the grand scale as they always wanted with Kate’s son Jack. When he became this well-renowned musician, it’s not just his dream, but that of his mother and his grandmother that also came to live. It made me think…how much of my aspirations and hopes are actually passed down? And how many of my realities were simply unmateralised dreams of those who came before me? And it made my heart feel lighter and it made me feel more blessed and protected.

Baking cakes and brownies and cookies is not a rocket science. You only needed the right tools and some patience to figure it out and become that friend who bakes stuff for her friends instead of the other way around.

You always prioritise peace, comfort, and an easy-going lifestyle – it’s evident in your career choices and how your family dynamics and friendships have evolved. Let that be the guiding light even when dating.

You are the kind of person that is charming, a good conversationalist, and deeply empathetic. So of course, you make many people feel at home and like they connect with you. It’s easy for you to connect with others. What’s important is to remember – connection without consideration and consistent actions is NOTHING. It’s empty calories but like a thousand times more potent and useless.

In no interpersonal relationship can I be nonchalant or vague. I am that other extreme – while most people try their best to ignore the elephant in the room you know what I do? I dress the cutie up to parade it. So anybody who cannot approach relationships with as much boldness, courage, and forthcomingness is just not my jam.

Female friends for the win – they allow you to wine and whine and win and I am all for that. The healing powers of sitting across your friend and talking at length about everything over pizza and wine or at the park as she senses you need some more time to just sit around before you join the rest of the group and is so good with physical touch for comfort. Just knowing you can video call your friend and ugly cry and she will talk sense into you but also indulge you and also sit with you and your feelings. Who else does that? Who the hell.

For a lot of things that are still new now at this age, you need a guide. To pet cats, to go to dog cafes, to figure out what vitamins you should talk, etc. Ask for that help, that knowledge, that support. It might seem silly and like you can figure it out on your own but these things, no matter how seemingly low-stake, can be handled so seamlessly and sweetly with the help of those you know.

You HAVE to be honest about your needs. First with yourself and then with others. You cannot let shame, guilt, self-hatred or whatever hold you back. Honesty begets clarity begets fulfilment. If you don’t want to date and settle for someone who isn’t absolutely smitten by you and top-notch romantic, then that is a need. Right or wrong, realistic or not, who the hell cares? A need is a need is a need.

When you lose someone not to death but to life, it’s not quite such a loss. Most times, baby, it’s simply good riddance.

People have a range. For being shitty and for being kind. And while our behaviour may impact a little how they react to us, it's primarily dependent on their personal range. So, if your range of being shit is only 1 to 3, it doesn't matter if someone is an ass hole to you, you won't go beyond 3 of being shit to them, cos that's just your range. Even if they deeply hurt you intentionally or fuck up in some major way. But if their range of being shitty is up to 10, then well, be ready to witness their derangedness when you even slightly piss them off.

Narcissistic (and possibly self-sabotaging) people are the opposite of kintsugi. Instead of being put back together with gold, they "heal" themselves with gutter water. So each time they are worse and more ugly than before. And all the more toxic and dangerous. You're too precious to bother with such people.

It’s natural to feel frustrated or angry with yourself for allowing someone to treat you poorly, but the blame isn’t on you; it’s on them. They are responsible for their unkind, insensitive, selfish actions, not you. If you must place blame, place it where it belongs. Avoid judging yourself with thoughts like, “I should have known better.” As long as you walk away the moment you do know, you’re good – please don’t internalize other people’s unkindness or thoughtlessness.

You cannot get to know someone without giving them a chance. Red flags are not that obvious and you cannot show up authentically in any relationship if you’re on the lookout for them. You have to spend time with a person to begin to find out who they are. That’s the only real way. And when you do and if you realize they are not for you, as I said before, don’t internalize this shit or blame yourself for not being some kind of prophecy and knowing better before you even began.

You are a patient person because you are an understanding person. But there are limits to all these qualities of yours and if the balance is tipped you get petty and passive aggressive and irrational. Don’t let yourself reach that point. Speak up and set boundaries way before that.

If you listen to your gut – I know you don’t like calling it that or your intuition. So, let’s call it that feeling you know bone-deep or in the depths of your soul – if you listen to that and trust it, you are quite courageous in the actions you then take. You broke things off with three men this year – each was painful in its own rite. But you did what you had to do for yourself and you didn’t give the charge of your life to another person, you have taken back your green light – detaching your actions from their behaviour, which like all human behaviour is often quite fickle and unreliable. Congratulations. Do this more. Your green light is your guiding light.

My lack of a “healthy sense of fear” in situations with men isn’t recklessness—it’s the result of abuse I suffered at 15. The man I trusted most turned out to be the one who harmed me the most, and that betrayal shattered my ability to trust safety indicators or instincts. The grooming I endured was designed to confuse me, destabilise my sense of self, and make me question my desires and worth. When the templates of trust and safety failed me so catastrophically, my mind rejected them altogether, leaving me to navigate risk without a stable framework. This year, I felt significantly less restless and more emotionally regulated, and I think it’s because I allowed myself, others, and life to just be. I wasn’t fighting my reality or setting rigid expectations. I stopped chasing dopamine highs and forcing connections, and instead, I let equations with people and experiences unfold organically. I ended dating and talking stages quickly when I realised they weren’t right for me, without guilt or overthinking.4 By being okay with things being normal—not impressive or extraordinary—I created space for balance and gentleness in my life. My self-talk became kinder, and I grew more objective about myself, spiraling and self-loathing less. This accepting mindset, where I no longer needed myself or my life to constantly stand out, felt like the antidote to the restlessness I’d been carrying since my mid-20s. And I think that has helped me discover that peace and acceptance can feel more satisfying than cheap dopamine hits.

[devsgames]

Every so often I'm reminded of how many people don't realize just how high the bar is for indie titles to actually make enough money or gain enough recognition to be sustainable.

Like someone will say "I think it's great that mildly successful indie titles exist that no one has heard of before, such as [multi-award winning indie game that was incredibly financially successful that has had coverage by multiple major news outlets]! It's so nice small indies exist" :)

[aleximustdr4w]

That's what I said to her!!