#i love ur asks sm weeps

[nulltune]

[ bb ] they didn't need to hide! and they weren't trying to hide at all right now! this was just a calculated and perfectly reasonable retreat before showing up for the final act! it would ruin the surprise if they were spotted so suddenly seeing that girl made the devilish ai pout. "what's with you? away, go away, this spot is already taken."

unprompted,  always accepting !!   @caemthe  ♡

it wasn't like she was seeking them out !   no,  no,  she really wasn't !   it was them who was acting peculiarly and caught her attention.  by chance.  pure chance and coincidence.  now really,  what are they even doing in shabby corner like this ?  nothing short of an ill - fitting backdrop for someone so ...  someone as ...  exuberant as this devilish kouhai here.

❛   bb—   ❜      the call of their name leaves her before she even realizes it,  though she closes her own mouth firmly shut just as it'd been uttered.      ❛   moon cancer.   ❜      that was the class they'd been summoned as,  wasn't it ?   it felt ...  strange to address them in such a manner,  but it wasn't like this was anything out of the ordinary for hakuno kishinami.  hakuno kishinami,  who referred to all the servants here by their class name,  with no single exception  /  hakuno kishinami,  who brought on this sense of this distance herself  /  this vast distance between herself and everything else.

with others  ( particularly with her experiences in tsukimihara ) ,  hakuno has come to expect a disdain or condescension when it came to interactions.  being told to go away wasn't so unsual,  but,  why were they pouting ??   not to mention,  asking her that when they're the one acting strange here ... !  

she is always unwanted and unneeded,  but hakuno understood that with some,  her presence in itself was too much of a burden.  she understood that,  she respected that;  and so,  she would leave them alone just as requested.  there was no reason for there to be any single exception.  except ...

❛   what sort of reasoning is that ?   ❜      no,  there was no way this sPoT would AlReAdy Be TaKeN,  they weren't fooling anyone with that !      ❛   a bit childish,  isn't it.  quite unnecessary as well,  seeing how i have no intentions of being in this spot in the first place.   ❜      again,  hakuno had no reason to approach bb in the first place !  this whole interaction was jut— so odd.

so,  it would only be natural for it to just end here;  for her to turn on her heel and leave.  the thought is on her mind,  as her head dips with a bow to preface a departure,  yet hakuno finds herself rooted right where she stood.  there's a moment of silence ( contemplation ? ) before what leaves her is a huff.      ❛   —but,  well,  you have made me change my mind.  because i do not want my actions to be influenced by such a childish reasoning.   ❜      in other words,  i am not leaving.  the declaration is solidified with the straightening of her posture,  the woman appearing unfazed despite her very immature rebuttal to the order of going away.

the doll - like face that stares at the fellow ai is the image of a delicate innocence,  perfectly polite,  rosy lips part and—  hakuno sticks her tongue out at the other.

who's the childish one now ?!

[konigsblog]

omg hi i love u sm like ur the best writer EVER !!!! but anyways i wanted to ask for a kidnapper!könig or ghost x chubby!reader?? it's totally fine if u can't do it!!

THANK YOU!! i love you, too! your words are so sweet and don't go unnoticed :'3 i hope you enjoy :p

tw: nonconsensual touching, dub-con/non-con (coercion, manipulation) guilt tripping.

i can totally see kidnapper!könig and kidnapper!ghost loving and appreciating a chubby partner ;3

soft flesh on their rough, calloused and scarred hands when he forces you to come sit on his big lap, whispering humilating things in your ear while you weep and sniffle quietly.

könig adores having a chubbier partner because he likes to have weight on his bouncing thigh when he pulls you down onto him. it keeps him grounded, so he can use it against you and guilt trip you into feeling guilty for wanting to sit elsewhere.

don't you want him to feel comfortable in your presence? you're his safe space, schatz... don't be so cruel and selfish.. :(

simon loves all body shapes and sizes, he loves rolling over in the middle of your night, grunting lowly from sleepless nights, clinging to your body and burying his face in the crook of your neck to layer kisses on your supple skin while touching you all over. he just assumes you're asleep, so he gropes and touches you all over despite your shaking! -- a poor leaf in the wind.

kidnapper!könig loves having you ride him after manipulating you. in the cold chamber, he leans back, one burly arm holding his muscular, brute body up while he tugs on the chain around your neck held tightly in his other large hand whenever you slow down your pace. keep up... make sure you milk him for all of his thick, hot, sticky cum that he has to offer.

“oh--meine liebling, aren't you a sight? so pretty riding my cock, yes? so, so soft, engel.”

[crybabysano]

HIIII POOKIE I LOVE UR WRITING SM!!! would you playsee do something nsfw with souya :3c!!

HI ANON !! TYTYTYYY

i would LOVE to write about souya. im chewing on my monitor just thinking about it!!

nsfw ₊˚ෆ ahead,, mdni pls!!

cw: gn!reader, mentions of breeding, sub!souya, kissing || wc; 779

i really really really love the idea of souya being a switch. and hear me out pls.... in my mind, he's 50/50 when it comes to playing the role of top or bottom, same with dom or sub. it honestly depends on how you're feeling and what the mood is that day/night. today, i'm feeling subby!souya •⩊•

⤷ sub!souya coming home from work, still upset up over a rude customer from the lunch rush so his eyes are filling with tears the moment he walks in. as soon as he finds you laying in your shared bed, he doesn't try to change out of his clothes that smell of grease before he's crawling into your arms, silently weeping about how his day was going so well until that customer! your fingers comb through his hair working out any knots, knowing it usually calms him down but this time his sniffling doesn't stop, and that's when you know its time to take it to plan b! pressing soft kisses onto his forehead, nose, and lips, his breathing calms when you repeat that pattern three more times, and on the forth, he's returning your affections.

⤷ sub!souya turning to mush when your fingers slip under his shirt, softly dragging your nails over his skin before you wrap an arm around his waist and giggle while rolling over so he's laying on top of you.

⤷ sub!souya blushing a bright red when your eyes widen at the feeling of his cock pressing against your thigh, quickly hiding his face in the crook of your neck while muttering apologies. you're not upset with him though, he's just sensitive in more ways than one.

⤷ sub!souya sitting up when you tap his shoulder, nearly falling off your lap when you rise, catching himself by throwing his arms back. the position change shows the tent in his jeans, his cock straining painfully against the tight and uncomfortable denim.

⤷ sub!souya knows he doesn't need to be shy, which is why he stands up the moment you two make eye contact. his hands fumble to undo the button and lower the zipper on his jeans but eventually he gets it, pushing the clothing down past his thighs and kicks it away; he'll pick it up and place it in the laundry basket later.

⤷ sub!souya planting himself on your lap, becoming needier by the second. his kisses are sloppy and more possessive, but his tongue doesn't try to fight for dominance, loving the way yours slips and dances with the muscle.

⤷ sub!souya moaning loud when your fingers wrap around his dripping cock, pumping him at a speed that has his pretty eyes rolling into the back of his head. his tip leaks profusely but you use that to your advantage, collecting it in your palm when you glide it across his sensitive head, creating lewd squelches with every flick and turn of your wrist. when he's close to cumming, nimble fingers stop your movements and he's staring at you with pupils blown wide.

⤷ sub!souya pulls down your shorts and underwear in a swift motion before he settles between your legs, holding the base of his cock as he lines it up with your entrance, sinking inside of your hole with a low moan. his hips snap forward when you nod, unable to stop once they start.

⤷ sub!souya continuously asking 'am i doin' a good job?' and 'tell me if it hurts, okay?'. pls plspls praise him. even if the two of you have been together for years, he still craves some validation.

⤷ sub!souya waiting until you cum first before he asks begs if he can please cum inside you, shivering every time you squeeze around him. he does his best to try and hold out until you've orgasmed twice, but today you just feel too good and he's too worked up.

⤷ sub!souya dropping his head into the crook of your neck while broken, raspy moans leave his swollen lips, pumping you full of his seed. his movements stutter and he collapses onto your chest when fatigue finally hits him, needing to force himself to pull out so he can roll over.

⤷ sub!souya falls asleep sooner than expected, but you're not mad at him. he worked all day, of course he'd be sleepy. you wobble to the bathroom to clean yourself, changing into a clean pair of pajamas. as for souya, you wipe him down and crawl into bed right beside him, giving one last kiss on his cheek before covering his lower-half with a blanket.

can you tell i think about him a lot... because i do. i think abt him all day every day.

© property of crybabysano '24. do not repost, modify, translate, or copy.

[turtletaubwrites]

So, jst a thought but-

I’ve been seeing crystallizedtwilight’s drawings abt fem! Crocodile, Mihawk and Buggy (i highly recommend that blog) and- CAN YOU IMAGINE NUMBERS GAME! READER REACTING TO THE CROSS GUILD MEN AS WOMEN FOR A DEVIL FRUIT??? wvfowhqvaujx

I just think it would be so funny to see Reader’s reaction to that and like a bi awakening nwjacbwfjj

It’s kinda a random ask considering how sad the story’s turning but yk lol.

ALSO, i love ur content sm and i wish to see how the next chapters will be and what you’ll end up doing with Shanks, sending you all the love and support!! 💗

OMG I am OBSESSED with @crystallizedtwilight, please everyone go check them out! Their fem Cross Guild series gives me endless dopamine! And their Shuggy series makes me WEEP 😭😭

And thank you so much, I'm so happy you're enjoying the story!! 🥰

Normally I wait to reply to asks like this until I can write a little something for it, but I'm still deep in my Numbers Game writing spree, and don't know when I'll resurface, lol.

It hasn't fit in narratively yet with the insane amount of trauma and drama our little group has, but more ladies would definitely be in the mix. And the Cross Guild ladies... 😭🥵💀

I would LOVE to write some fem Cross Guild shenanigans! It's definitely on my list, but I am behind!! Lol, no more tempting ideas! Must focus!!!

But pretty (and scary!) girls... 🥺🥵 NO. Bad Lynna, stop it 😅

Thank you for this lovely ask!! Since you ended it with this emoji 💗 I can make that your signature, so if you'd like, you can sign off with that on another ask so I know it's you!

~ Lynna 💜✨

I accidentally ranted again so there is more explanation, and personal sexuality talk below the cut (which should be below this if tumblr formatting behaves, lol).

This ask made me realize that I just assume every character I'm writing for is bi, even if it's not noted in the fic. This is not just for ease of smut writing, lol.

I sometimes forget that heterosexuality is a thing 🤷‍♀️

Only slightly kidding, honestly. Maybe it's all the neurospiciness in me, but I just don't get it. My brain seems to assume that if someone experiences sexual/romantic attraction that there's a whole world. I don't know if I'm explaining it well, and logically I understand, but it is such a strange concept to me that an entire group of people would be automatically marked off just because... Like what are the criteria? I don't understand.

There are so many stunning people across all gender identities and expressions, and my brain goes to mush when I meet a hottie, regardless of specific body parts or "gendered clothes."

Although, I have to admit, I fucking die when a pretty girl talks to me. Fem Cross Guild would look at me once, and I'd be yeeted from this mortal coil.

So I guess it could be Numbers Girl's bi awakening, but she's been bi in my brain the whole time. Just dating some guys at the moment 🥰

SORRY ABOUT THE RANT!

Thank you for the wonderful ask!!! 💜

[rodolfoparras]

My day is going pretty good. Suspiciously good actually, I've been getting stuff done and things have really been chill today. It's concerning me and it makes me wonder what's gonna ruin it....

Anyways, wow. The support. Three people wanna read this shitty idea I conjured up?? That's so cool, I don't even get that much attention on my actual blog, that's so cool.

That really motivates me to finish it. I don't think I wanna tag you in it for sake of anonymity and stuff, but I'll definitely put it in as an ask if I can or something so you and the two other anons can read it. If I can't do that, then I'll send the link or something. If all else fails, I'll reveal my identity

Also, would the milkman fix happen to have titties in it?? 👀 I have had the urge to suck on someone's titties all day, it's a craving, please tell me it does (if it doesn't, that's okay, all of your writing is super good either way)

- ❓

Hello but that’s wonderful I hope the rest of your day was just as good sugar!’

Hello sugar it’s not a shitty idea it’s super interesting and a lot of us would absolutely love to read it pls don’t be mean about yalls writing I know you’re your worst critic but it makes me so sad I want to take y’all work in my arms and shower your fics in sm appreciation and love

Also sugar you don’t have to tag me in it you can just post it so that your wonderful fic gets the attention it deserves! The tags i commonly frequent are dom male reader or top male reader so if you use one of those I’ll come across it I probably won’t Even realize it’s urs bc my pea brain barely rmrs stuff

Oh sugar I’m so sorry but this one doesn’t contain it but if it makes it better I see milkman as a super sensitive little thing brush your fingers across his clothed nipple and you’ll hear a little whine escape his lips, rile him til he thinks you’ll take him to bed only for you to tease him further by saying you just happened to touch him and watch the little prominent pout pop up on his lips,

Eventually he’d attempt to take care of himself sneaking away to your shared bedroom and riding a pillow while tugging at his sensitive tits, and when you walk in his face is flushed hair mussed fat tears trickling his cheeks and tits puffy and red from how hard he’d been tugging at them :(

Of course you have to help him out crawling up to the sheets whispering him to continue what he’s doing while sucking his tits watching his big fat cook weep all over the pillow he’s humping using the pre to smear all over his tits like there’s actually sweet milk coming from them, and praising the sweet thing telling him how good he tastes what a good boy he’s being

[happi-tree]

THANK YOU<3 dialogue is one of my strong suits HSHRHEGSHJ i'm lacking a bit on the description part but i've been trying to improve at it lately 🥰 and YASS taylor trying to downplay how hes feeling and its really not working HDISUDHEJRJR tfw u have residual anxiety the morning after a mental breakdown AND stress makes ur chronic pain worse... hes struggling but its ok because link Exists and is such a sweetie ♡♡♡

and my fic is like. taylor has an anxiety attack for the first time so he DOES NOT know what's happening and like. it's freaky deaky so ofc he'll still be hella shaken up in the morning argh so real

Well, it certainly shows that you're very confident in it!!! I love how I can look at something you've written and immediately tell who's saying what without having to look at any clarifiers/speech tags. You have a real knack for getting things down in a character's voice and I respect you so hard for that <333

Personally dialogue can be so tricky for me bc I'm a big description girlie and it definitely takes me A While to figure out how to write from the povs of characters who don't immediately read to me as introspective - it's why I've actually found it easier for me to write in Link's pov than in Taylor's lmao 💀💀💀

And YIKES first-time anxiety attacks are so rough but. Yeah at least Link's there to sit with him and guide him through grounding himself again,,, weeps Link is such a sweetheart I love him sm 🥺

Figured I'd answer these both in the same ask so I'm not clogging up the mutuals' dashes too much (hiiii mutuals ily 👋) Yes they are dancing!!! The premise of this wip is based on that one Link teen fact that he used to take ballroom classes with his dads and is a pretty good modern dancer. It takes place in the vague 2-month period between coming back from Old Earth/New Faerun and the house party in ep 25. I personally hc those two months to be mostly in wintertime so!!! The teens are getting ready for Teen High's winter formal and Link offered to teach them all how to dance (Normal was v self-conscious about not knowing any moves sbfkhas)!!! And YEAH I love calling attention to the fact that Link is so tall I think their height difference would be Very Noticeable (Freddie said Taylor's height is in the mid-5 ft range while Link grew from 6'3'' to 6'4'' over s2) and Very Cute 🥰🥰🥰

[cubedmango]

NAINAAAA OH MY GOD?(:&:?:& I’M DJD YOUUUUUUU !!!!!!! I’m so sorry I don’t want this entire ask to be pure nonsense so I’m gonna pick up every single one of the million pieces I just exploded into, off of the floor and try and function,,, can I just say you needed to add a warning to that post because I genuinely yelled so loud I felt sharp burn in my chest afterwards WHYY WOULD YOU DO THIS😭😭 KUROSAWA CRYING,, THE BREAKFAST NOTEJNSJS ADACHI AND THEIR LITTLE GIRL CUDDLED UP,,, THE RING,, THE CHERRY!!PYJAMAS I’M FUCKFNFJF oh man. Oh God. Wow you… bless you… you wonderful miracle working legend… like I need you to understand so clearly when I say that my heart took a nose dive upon glancing at that art like my deeply heartfelt love for your art aside the fact that you put it into a perfect visual form with our la sweethearts like I actually can’t move on?? I saw it earlier today and have been racking my brain trying to find ways to properly emote the groundbreaking shift that took place within my soul like. Every so often (every 10 minutes) mind would drift back to Them and I’d have to grab onto the nearest wall to steady myself I’ve officially Lost it. Like thank me? THANK /YOU/ 6473683 times over😭😭😭<333333 I feel like I felt the warm rays of the spring sunshine after a 12 month long winter like truly I’m not sure how but I’m gonna have to join you sensei is gonna receive a mental transmission from me every day onwards BEGGING for this progression it could fix me in so many ways nothing else ever could I just know it…

(other ask below for length)

The ask was getting so long I’m sorry😭 (you Broke Me) BUT your tags had my heart aching because I didn’t even think about that but you’re sooo right like it’s clear that a lot of kurosawa’s unrealistic expectations for himself were ingrained into him through his mother and what she actually expected of him growing up and that manifesting into fears of fatherhood and making the same mistakes is,,,, (had to stop to forcefully regulate my breathing pattern here out of sheer pain) like it’s a perfect next life stage arc that stays true to his character. Plus the whole contrast with adachi being naturally adept and comfortable with fatherhood due to /his/steadfast upbringing and being able to talk things through with kurosawa and help him understand that yeah there’s no such thing as The Perfect Parent™️ but you do just have to learn as you go, while taking into account to be mindful of not making the same mistakes as your own parents but at the end of the day the goal is to create that loving, supportive and consistent environment which he’s more than capable of doing like oh GOD I could eat rocks by the spoonful right now sensei PLEASE,,, I’m gonna stop rambling before every single thought floods out but once again THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for the Kurodachi brain food I’m gonna think about it an insanely unhealthy amount,,, I hope your day was loveliest it could be <333

PLS ANON IM CRYING SM these asks made my day pls im eating up all ur thoughts instantly (and weeps thank u im glad u liked the doodles 🥹) im so unwell abt kurodadchis rn so ty again for putting them in my brain !!!!!

also everything u said abt them talking the possibility out and accepting that they might not be perfect parents but they can actively try to do better and theyre 100% capable of that is just . aaauagGGHHGH i need sensei to make this happen w manga krdc like Right Now and then i need the drama crew to come back and give us a full s2 of this and then same w rd and then-

[toxinsup]

@knifvd asked:

Anonymously or not, tell me anything you want would it be a complain, compliment, fear, a criticism, anything you want.

rolls in with rizz HEY UR ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT VALORANT AND AT WRITING SABINE I LOOK UP TO YOU A LOT I CANT WAIT TO WRITE WITH YOU MORE AND PLAY VAL WITH YOU XOXO GOSSIP GORL

EEEEEEEEEEEE my life got so busy but IM SO BAD AT VALORANT BUT I APPRECIATE UR WORDS SM SERIOUSLY ILY AND I CANT WAIT TO WRITE MORE WITH YOU AND FINALLY PLAY VALORANT (even though im about to be gone for two weeks i weep) XOXO I LOVE U YELENA

[snivel1]

hi. i. uhm. i saw u look st mg. blog an. you seem. very cool and i think we may have some common interests

i hopd this ask is not bothersome bur i like to truy and interact with people and i thought to message you but idk if ur comfy with that so

if so uhh uhhhh feel free 2 message me and if naur then feel freeb to ignore this

oh also just causd im here uhhh heres amother wip doodle of kinito

OMG HIIII!!!🥹🥹💞

Thank you so much oouuughh, you're very cool too, and your drawings are sooo awesome and expressive and unique and cool!!!!!😭😭🥺🥺💕💞💞‼️‼️‼️‼️ looking forward to seeing more of it!!🥹🥹💕‼️

I'd love to chat more if you wanna, it's no trouble to me at all!!🥹🙏🙏

AND THANK YOU SM FOR THIS DOODLE I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS AJD HOW YOU DREW HIM HE'S JUST SOOOO OOFUUHUHOKFUHIPGPGUUGOHHUOYPG😭😭😭💕😭💕💞💞💕💞‼️‼️‼️💞💕😭‼️‼️‼️💕‼️‼️💞💕🥺🥺💕💕💕🥹🥹💕‼️‼️💞💞😭😭‼️‼️ WEEPING AND SCREAMING/POS💞😭‼️‼️‼️‼️

Nailing this picture to my heart and my soul and my brain and hugging it so so so tightly😭😭💕‼️‼️‼️‼️

[yuexins]

𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝙴𝚃𝙰𝙻𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝚃𝚄𝚂, 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝚈 𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴:       @goldencored​​                 /                   “  please, don’t ever give up on me.  ” — wwx & jc

red gleams pitifully within those warm,   warm hazelnuts   &   jiang cheng cannot see past the shrouded crimson shade of someone he barely recognizes        no matter how hard he wishes to see wei wuxian,   he cannot.   no matter how hard he reaches out for his brother,   for his shīxiōng,   he cannot.   

he has lost him those three months   &   his shīxiōng has never returned since then.

please,   don’t ever give up on me.            wei wuxian’s voice shatters,   tears apart at the seams   &   this normally high - spirited man is figuratively on his knees in front of the appraised sect leader,   this young sect leader who has rebuilt the lotus pier from ground up.   jiang cheng feels his eyes burn,   feels his nose tingle with an uncomfortable sensation   &   he tears his gaze for he is unable to say anything.   he cannot promise this.

is he being selfish? is he being a child? has he really grown like everyone praises him for?

when violet - flecked greys cut back to wei wuxian’s pleading expression,   those shaking fingers holding onto that damned flute  ( shaking,   trembling as if to reach out to his shīdì,   to cradle his face   &   hug him ),   jiang cheng wants nothing more than to believe that what the other’s attempting to achieve here will work,   that it will pass   &   wei wuxian will come back to yunmeng jiang.   then the two of them will do good on their promise to be the twin prides,   the twin heroes. 

please,   don’t ever give up on me.           jiang cheng’s words catch in his throat,   his breath hitches,   &   what is he doing?   what is-   oh.   oh,   he’s crying now.   hot tears roll down his tanned,   lightly freckled cheeks as those fingers grip onto sāndú .   zǐdiàn crackles wildly,   reacting to his uncontrollable emotions,   &   jiang cheng’s knees almost give out from under him,   almost dirtying his robes with this cursed soil.

but even from these cursed bones,   this cursed soil,   they’re doing their best to give birth to life.   they’re changing   &   evolving.   death makes way for life,   does it not?

                                             but even so   ...   even so.

please,   don’t ever give up on me,            yílíng lǎozǔ pleads.                 “   haven’t you given up on me?   ”           sāndú shèngshǒu replies.

FEELSY PROMPTS,                      ACCEPTING.

[dinaur]

No bad mood only smiles 💜

(Sending this has made me realise that I have like..... no photos of yunho sksjshhs this is almost every photo of him I have saved shame on me)

JAZZY :(((((( tf you're so nice that was so unexpected i'm gonna cry bestie ily !!!!!!!!

[boydiisaster]

HI ITS LATE NIGHT AND IM HAVING OM BOYS BRAINROT UHHHH if your asks are still open, I couldnt tell from ur pinned post so if ur asks were closed im super super sorry D: but,,could I request poly headcanons of Satan, Barb and a FTM MC? thanks sm :DD -✨ me im sparkle anon now yup yup

poly headcanons with satan and barbartos

reader: male, he/him pronouns (please dni with this work if you're fem aligned)

tw/cw: dysphoria mention

author's note: i've always wanted a specific anon omg hi!!! and requests are almost always opened, i'm just a slow writer who finishes his works then instantly deletes like half of it cus he doesn't like it anymore [weep] but thank you for requesting these two!! i hardly ever get requests specifically for satan and barb so it makes me very happy <333

satan

I personally headcanon Satan as someone who loves baking, so trust me when I say that you will never go hungry with him as one of your boyfriends. He'll constantly ask if you've eaten today, ready to whip you up something if your answer is no.

He sends you cat pictures all the time. He even asks if you have any other social media outlets where he can send you more cat pictures. You would tell him no, but due to his detective skills you doubt your accounts would stay a secret to him for long.

Satan loves movie nights. Horror movie nights with you are a blast, especially when you watch Devildom horror movies. The Human Realm's slasher and paranormal movies don't compare to how scary and bloodthirsty the Devildom's are. When you get scared, Satan holds you close and rubs circles into your back, whispering that it's okay. He even offers you some of the cat-shaped suckers that he regularly buys from the candy store.

He reminds you to take off your binder every day. Satan literally sets a timer once you put on your binder, and once it's passed 8 hours he contacts you. Satan is smart, but he's also the type to panic easily, so even if you keep your binder on for more than a minute after his timer goes off he'll freak out and worry that by going a little over the scheduled time your ribs will shatter like porcelain.

(I headcanon Satan as trans ftm, but for these specific headcanons let's say he's cisgender.)

Please reassure him that his boyfriend's ribs aren't made of glass and that they won't break so easily. He's panicking, MC, help.

barbatos

Despite not having much free time on his hands, Barbatos tries with all his might to give you the perfect relationship. Pretty much every free moment he has is spent with you, minus the moments where he just needs alone time.

Overall, he's a very caring but stressed out lover. An out-of-character headcanon I have is just to relieve stress he blasts heavy metal and trims his hair in the bathroom of his room late at night when Diavolo is asleep, cup of black coffee and a late night sweet beside him. (He's not one for energy drinks, so I'm sorry if you like them.)

Barbatos actually gets flustered quite easily! All you need to do is make a move to hold his hand in public and already you've got an embarrassed demon on your hands. His face always resembles a tomato after you're done complimenting his cooking, as well.

"Thank you, MC," he'll say behind a gloved hand, trying hard to not let you see him in such a vulnerable state.

Unlike Satan, Barbatos isn't as worried about your ribs. He'll still remind you to take your binder off of course, (if you wear one), but he knows your ribcage isn't going to burst if you wear it for a little longer than you're supposed to.

Just don't wear it for more than an hour after you're supposed to. Then he'll turn into Satan.

"MC your ribs are going to crack please take your binder off."

If you experience dysphoria, Barbatos is always there to try and make it a bit more bearable. He offers masculine compliments or goes as far as to suggest putting a spell over you to help. He even asks if you'd like him to talk to Diavolo about paying for you to start testosterone or get a surgery. He knows it's incredibly expensive in the human realm to do so, but there's nothing a little bit of magic and the literal Prince of Hell can't accomplish!

satan and barbatos

Sometimes you and Satan go up to the Demon Lord's castle to deliver some lunch for Barbatos, just to make sure he remembers to eat. He's so busy taking care of other people that sometimes he forgets to take care of himself. It happens, and it worries you, but you needn't fret because Barbatos has you and Satan to care about him.

Satan's brothers are so jealous of all the food Barbatos and Satan cook for you, especially Beel. It embarrasses you to no end the looks the other six brothers give you after your boyfriends cook you up what could qualify as a gourmet meal from Ristorante Six.

"It's not fair!" Leviathan whines as Satan sits a heaping plate of delicious human realm food down in front of you. "Why does MC get the special treatment just because he's your boyfriend?!"

"That's exactly why he gets the special treatment. You just answered your own question," Satan hums, smug grin on his face as he watches Levi nearly tip back in his chair from trying to demonstrate how angry he is.

You smile awkwardly and while Satan's back is turned offer up a piece of chicken. Leviathan takes it happily, mouthing "thank you."

"MC?"

You jump, banging your knee against the bottom of the table. You wince. "Yes?"

Satan gives you a playful smile. "You're too nice for your own good." He then pecks your cheek. "That's why I love you."

Sometimes the three of you will go out shopping together, always stopping by bookstores or tea shops before hitting your actual destination, which is sometimes just a larger, more fancy bookstore or tea shop....

It's okay though, because afterwards you make a trip to Madame Scream's and buy some desserts for each other. It's cute whenever Satan or Barbatos pick out a dessert they want you to try and mask it by saying "It just looked good, I thought you would enjoy it."

Barbatos leaves you a kiss on the back of your hand once your day is over and he has to get back to the Prince, saying that he loves you and that he'll see you tomorrow, throwing in a "darling" or "love" somewhere in there. It's romantic. Him and Satan make the best boyfriends, especially if you're fond of old books or creepy curses. The entirety of the dark academia aesthetic makes up your relationship with those two. Throw in a bit of baking and that pretty much sums up your boyfriends and you.

It's adorable, though. Everyone's jealous, especially Mammon.

[snzunii]

Gojoxreader something about forbidden love then one of them dies

23:45

"but i can't have you, we're bound to break and our hands are tied."

+ pairings. gojo satoru x f!reader

+ tags. romance, fantasy, heavy angst, major character death, mentions of death, depression, forbidden love trope, stepcest, unrequited love, mentions of sex, smoking, drinking, modern au, all in all it's just sad shit that i enjoyed writing becos *coughs* heavy angst

+ word count. 16.7k

+ note. okay i've been writing this for days. i told myself that this would be just 5k words or maybe less but, it's heavy angst so i went all out 😭 and forbidden love is one of my favorite tropes soooooo yeah, and anon thank u sm for requesting this <3 hihihi i hope u guys love this :<

the summary and some parts was inspired from the song rewrite the stars, i thought it just fits so there hehe

ur feedbacks are always appreciated, love u guys <3

"Satoru."

This was two years ago, you thought.

Why is he in front of you? Is this some kind of dream?

It was all the same. His posture, the way he dressed, how he smiled at your mother, how he looked at you with his cerulean eyes that you have always adored.

You looked at your mother, why isn't she shocked? Why are they smiling and all happy when Satoru died a week ago?

"You know each other already?" your stepfather asked, Satoru shook his head while you remained in shock.

How could this happen? Are you still sleeping?

"No, this is the first time that I saw her."

You tried pinching yourself and digging your fingernails into the palm of your hands but it hurts, so that means that it was real.

Satoru is alive and well, and you go back two years.

Just last night you were crying your eyes out. You are grieving that you lost the man that you have loved so much. The man that made you the happiest in the whole damn universe.

You were grieving because you saw it yourself, how he died. You saw it right before your eyes and now he's here.

"Why don't you show your brother upstairs to his room?" your mother said to you.

They are getting worried because you aren't yourself right now, you can't even begin to process what the hell is happening right at this moment.

Your mother called your name and that's when you snapped out of your thoughts.

"Yeah. Okay.." you stuttered, "Follow me."

Confused, you helped Satoru carry one of his bags and you were the first one to go up the stairs while he followed you.

You already know what happens. He annoys you then you would be pissed off but then you'll get close, you fall in love, you hide your relationship from your parents then he dies.

He. freaking. died.

"What the fuck is this?" you whispered as you walked in the hallway of your second floor towards Satoru's designated room.

"Did you say something?" he walked beside you, you jumped a bit then you stopped walking. You turn to Satoru and then drop his bag off the floor.

The next thing you did caught him off guard. You wrapped your arms around his waist as you lean your head on his chest—sobbing, he doesn't know why the hell are you hugging him at this moment as you cry because he just met you.

But for you? You already know him for two years. You already memorized every part of his gorgeous features.

You already know every move, every gesture and every meaning behind the things that he does.

You memorized all of him, you loved all of Satoru.

"Are you real?" you said half coherently, your sobs were covering up the things that you were saying.

Still baffled, he reciprocated your hug because you were crying so hard. He can almost feel the anguish in your weeping, he taps your back gently over and over as he try to find the words to comfort you, "It's alright.."

You tighten your hug.

It has been a week since you lost Satoru and all you wanted is to embrace him again, like this. You thought you would never get to do that again but the universe must be losing one of its screws right now.

You pulled away from him, you looked at his eyes as you wiped your tears. "How is this happening?"

He frowned as he gave you a bit of a confused smile, "Uhm... your mother is marrying my father. That's how, I guess?"

He's confused as hell, he had no single bit of a clue as to why you were acting this way.

"Oh.. yeah." You sighed as you picked his bag back up again, you walked first into his room and placed his bag on the bed. "Here's your room."

"Thank y-" he didn't even finish thanking you because you just walked out of his room, you kind of weirded him out because you just cried on his chest and then suddenly acted like you were straight from the freezer.

You entered your room and everything was in place. It seems like yesterday all of your things are scattered around your room because you were so inconsolable about his death that you don't have the time to tidy up your room.

You threw yourself on the bed, maybe if you sleep you would wake up from this ridiculously real but very impossible dream.

"This is Satoru and he's your new brother." your mother said as she smiled. You looked intently at the white-haired man in front of you, he is freakishly tall, he has blue eyes and white eyelashes. You raised your eyebrow for a bit then you let out a smile.

"Nice meeting you, Satoru." you said sweetly. "I hope we get along."

He gave you a wide smile, "You too."

Your mother tapped your shoulder causing you to turn to her, "Why don't you show your brother upstairs to his room?"

"Of course, follow me." you tell him as you go up, Satoru follows you.

He walked beside you once you stepped on the second floor, "So, I guess we're siblings? I mean step because you know we aren't related by blood. It'd be nice if we really got along-"

You turned to him and stopped him from talking, "You look like you're an annoying prick."

He raised his eyebrow but then he gave you a laugh, "Oh-ho. Showing your true colors now, are you?"

He knew it, earlier, was just piss poor acting. It's a bummer because he was hoping to get along with you since you looked nice and innocent and he was excited because he'd be having a sister to annoy.

"Okay. For your information, I don't want to get along with you but I have no choice because it's for my mom because truth be told, I don't like any of this. I already have a father and I don't get why she is with your father instead of patching things up with my dad."

You frowned when Satoru messed your hair, "You don't have a choice, darling. And my father's a nice guy, why don't you give this family a chance?"

You let out a bitter laugh, "Family my ass."

You slept for hours until dinner time came, you heard someone knock on your door and you opened the door still half-asleep. "Dad said to come and get you."

Your eyes instantly opened as wide as they could when you heard his voice, so it isn't a dream.

Satoru's still here.

"Give me a minute and I'll come down." you told him as you closed the door on him.

Satoru's still confused as to why you embraced him and then cried on his chest but he'd let it go because he thought that you were going through something.

Well, you are. You were mourning his death.

You don't know what to feel now. You were filled with agony that you lost the love of your life and you keep on thinking that you'd give and do everything just to hold him close again.

Maybe this is the universe giving you a chance. You keep telling yourself that it is impossible but it is happening.

He's alive again. You get to talk to him again.

You get to see your Satoru again.

But what's the catch? Yeah, he's alive but you doubt the universe would grant you this big and did you already say impossible wish without having repercussions?

You were happy but you were getting stressed so you walked towards your bookshelf and got the safe box that was disguised as a book and got the box of cigarettes inside.

You smiled, everything was placed the way it was two years ago.

You quit smoking when you got together with Satoru but this bizarre situation calls for a smoke right now.

You were about to place the safe box on the shelf again when you saw some weird white book that you don't remember having.

Your brows furrowed, you placed the cigarette stick down and got the white book. It was blank, the cover was just white with no text in it.

You opened it and there was a text on the first page.

Rewrite what was written on the stars.

"What..?"

Desist the sequence of events that would lead to his demise.

Rewrite what and the desist what?

You figured that it has something to do with what was happening right now. It said, "Rewrite what was written on the stars..."

You laid on your bed as you looked at the ceiling, "Rewrite? Is that why I travelled back two years ago?"

You drowned yourself in your thoughts, figuring out what the words meant and who the hell is doing this.

Is it some kind of prank but then why and how did you travel two years ago?

So, I need to change what happened in the past two years so that Satoru wouldn't die?

You got the book again and frowned, and additional words were added on the first page. It was written in some symbols that you swear you have seen before but you can't point where.

What in the sorcery is this?

You remembered, you liked reading some ancient things when you were a kid with your dad— he even got you some books about ancient letters and stuff but then you stopped reading it when he left.

You stood up from your bed and searched your bookshelf until you saw the dusty old book. You know that there is a list of ancient letters in here. You just need to match each symbol to its corresponding letters.

Alright, Nancy Drew. You need to do some solving.

You got some pen and paper from your desk and then you matched each symbol and letters until you form a sentence on the piece of paper.

Each letter that you wrote weighs a ton in your heart when you form the letter that you were writing into words and once you finished writing it, you felt like all the strings in your heart snapped into two.

You read it out loud, "Do not make him fall in love with you anymore..."

You knew it, you fucking knew it.

You don't want to live a life without him loving you now that you know how it felt when you were loved by Satoru.

But what's important is that he's alive, right?

You can do it, you can shove your feelings down and pretend that you don't love him with every bit of your being. You can be oblivious to the growing affliction that was planted in your heart.

You heard a knock on the door once again and it opened, revealing the person that is and always will be the object of your affection. "They're wondering what's taking you so long- are you reading?"

You immediately closed the books and wiped the bit of tears that were falling from your eyes. "I'm coming down."

"You said that minutes ago. Your mom said to tell you that the food was getting cold and it wouldn't eat itself." he said as he chuckled.

You just scoffed and tried to avoid looking at him but then it really is hard considering that Satoru is now looking around your room.

You bit your lip to stop from smiling, you knew that Satoru was kind of snoopy. It is the reason why you were annoyed with him for a few months.

You don't even know why you fell for him.

He was smug. He annoyed the hell out of you but regardless, he made you laugh with all the silly things that he did.

He understood your feelings more than anyone. He was there for you whenever you needed somebody.

What hurts is that you know you can never let that happen again. He is right there but you can never be with him.

"Who said you can look around?" you said as you stood up from your bed, raising your eyebrow at him.

"Pfft. Come on," he walked towards you and placed his arm above your shoulder, "I just wanted to look at my new sister's room."

"I'm not your sister." you said as you removed his arm. "We're not related, dumb ass. Your dad's just marrying my mom."

"Then that makes you my sister, dumb ass." he mocked you and placed his arm on your shoulders again and dragged you out of your room.

You wanted Satoru's touch more than anything in this world but you know that this, the touching and being close to him can't happen anymore.

"Don't touch me, we aren't close." you said as you removed his arm again.

"Says the one who hugged and cried to me earlier."

You are painfully aware of the fact that you did that and you just need some excuse to tell him why you did that.

"I was being crazy."

Lame ass excuse.

"You don't say." he said in a sarcastic and kind of amused way.

"Just don't talk to me." you said as you went down the stairs.

"Why?"

You didn't answer him and just left him on the stairs.

Because I'm trying not to touch and kiss you because I freaking miss you so much.

...

It has been a few weeks since the time restarted and so far? It was going so hard and painful.

It wasn't easy. Seeing the person you love but can't do anything about it.

You can't even tell him how much you love him. All that you can do is to watch him and be grateful that he is alive.

Your pain is nothing. You preferred to be hurt like this instead of living in a world where Satoru doesn't exist. Loving him in silence is enough for you.

"Can I come in?"

"No! Go away-"

"Too late. I'm already in." he said as he walked towards you, you felt Satoru sitting comfortably on your bed as if it was his own.

"Who the fuck told you to go inside my room and sit on my bed?" you said as you turned your head to his direction, you threw him your daggers and knowing him, he wasn't fazed.

"I heard your screaming match, you are grounded, huh?"

Yeah, funny. You are a twenty year old who still gets grounded by your mother.

"Get the fuck out." you said as you covered yourself with your blanket.

Satoru probably heard that you didn't want him and his father in your house and you're wondering why he's still nice to you when you have been shit to him all this time.

You feel him tap your back, "So, what is your problem with me or my dad?"

You groaned as you removed your blanket, you turned to your side to look at Satoru who is now lying on his side, looking at you as he rested his head on his palm.

"Getting comfortable, are you now?" you said with your brows furrowed. "I'll count to three and if you aren't out of my bed then I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"One.." you started, Satoru just stared at you with his cocky grin, doubting that you'll do anything.

"Two, three." you counted faster and that's when you kicked him out of your bed, literally kicked.

You heard a loud sound when he fell on the floor and next to that was his whining as he winced in pain.

"Stop whining like a child and get out of my room." you said as you covered yourself in your blanket again.

"You're mean." he said while pouting as he caressed his butt. "My butt hurts."

"And? Is it my fault you annoying prick?"

"You kicked me!"

"Cry about it crybaby."

"Satoru. He's your brother?" you heard your friend Yuna asked you, you look at her and to her line of sight— she is looking at him. "He looks so.. hmm, handsome."

Yeah, you know.

"He isn't my brother." you said as you continue on reading your book.

Satoru studies at the same university as you are, of course. You are currently sitting at your usual place with your friends and kind of your make out spot after classes when you were together, you both got some balls on you two, you know.

Making out under the tree near the field? So wrong.

Making out under the tree near the field with your stepbrother? Extremely wrong.

But you didn't care because you were crazy for each other.

"Okay. Do you think I could get his number?"

No.

"Go for it."

As much as it sends stabbing pains in your heart, maybe getting Satoru with another woman would change everything.

Seeing him alive and happy is enough for you to get on with your life. You can move on— just not now, it would take too long to get over him because he is your greatest love but you will.

Your friend excitedly stands up and fixes herself before heading to where Satoru is with his friends.

You just wanted to laugh at yourself, you were getting hurt and you can't even take your eyes off them as they exchanged their numbers.

Satoru turned his head to look at your direction, he gave you a smile but you just looked away and turned your attention to your book.

You leaned on the tree and closed the book along with your eyes. All of what is left to you was the memories of you and Satoru, and it was so beautiful but what hurts is it only lives in your mind now because he can't even remember any of it.

You would have to live in a world where you have these blithesome memories and no one to share it with.

"Hey. Wake up."

"What the hell do you want Gojo Satoru? I swear I will kill you if you woke me up for no reason at all." you said continuously without even opening your eyes because you just know who that voice belongs to.

"I'll sneak you out." you heard him say.

You were still grounded and that means you can't go out and party with your friends which is ridiculous because you're an adult already.

"Are you crazy?" you opened your eyes and looked at him, you looked at the clock and it was 11:45 in the evening.

Your mom and his dad are still wide awake watching their favorite show downstairs.

"I thought you wanted to go out with your friends? I heard you tell your mom that you even bought a dress for that party."

"Yeah. I did- Can you stop listening in on our conversations?"

Satoru laughed, "I wasn't listening. May I remind you that you were both shouting that's why I heard you say that?"

You just rolled your eyes at him as you sat on your bed. Why is he doing this?

Why is he being nice to you even though you are treating him badly?

"Would you really sneak me out?"

"Yep. Jump that window and I'll catch you."

"What?!"

"Your friend asked me out." Satoru said as he walked with you.

"Yeah. I know, I told her to go for it since she's been ogling you ever since you transferred."

You didn't mean to sound so jealous but can you blame yourself?

Satoru noticed the tone in your voice, he just hummed as he walked beside you, "Is she nice?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to go out with her?"

You stopped walking because of his question, if you say no would he still date her?

Why would he even ask you that? Is it that obvious that you are so in love with him?

"Why would you ask me that?" you scoffed as you walked again, "Go out with her for all I care."

You have got to stop sounding jealous.

"Okay, I won't." he said as he gave you his billion dollar smile.

You sighed and stopped walking, you turned to him and looked straight into his eyes. You wanted to say that Okay, don't go out with her and be with me.

"Then why the hell do you even get her number if you won't go out with her, you jerk? I didn't say anything so go do what you want. You shouldn't be asking me that question because it's your decision."

Satoru just looked at you with mirth as he let you babble on, he doesn't even know why but being with you gives him comfort, even though you are being mean to him.

He feels like he knows you even though he has only been living with you for a few weeks.

But despite the things that you are making him feel, confusion is what's on his mind. You sound like you don't want him to go out with your friend but you are urging him.

He sighed and surrendered, "Okay. I will."

It was just words but it crushed you inside. You wanted to hear the three words, the three words that make you so happy that you feel you are floating.

Not these three words that made you feel your heart was being stomped on too many times.

"Good." you said as you try to speak with your voice cracking, "Enjoy."

"You told me that you would sneak me out but you didn't tell me that you'd be coming with me."

"You think I'd let you go out alone in the middle of the night?" he answered as you both walked inside your friend's house filled with wasted people inside.

Satoru's father knows that he sneaked you out and asked him to go with you, though he'd still go with you even if his father doesn't ask him to.

"Fine. But don't tag along with me."

"You really don't like me, huh?"

You didn't answer him. It's not that you don't like him or his father. You just have your reasons.

You just went to your friends' direction. Satoru just watched you drink your ass off with them, though it is kind of hard to keep track of you with all the women who were trying to flirt with him.

Finally, you looked in his direction. You frown as you try to understand what he's mouthing to you.

The neon lights and the loud music isn't helping plus, your mind is also kind of hazy because of all the liquor that you ingested.

"What?" you mouthed back.

He just gestured for you to come to his direction, you clicked your tongue as you put your drink down on the table. You went in his direction. "What do you want, prick?"

"Let's go home." he said as he reached for your hand and not giving you the time to protest as he dragged you out of your friend's house.

"Let go of me." you said with a crystal clear hint of annoyance in your voice.

"No. We're going home. You are drunk and I don't want to get scolded."

Satoru doesn't give a shit if his father or even your mother chastises him, he just can't take the guys who were trying to touch you and talk to you. He thought that maybe it was an instinctive brotherly thing.

He doesn't know. He was just pissed out of his mind.

"I hate you." you mumbled as you squirm your arm out of his touch.

Satoru just smiles at you as he messes with your hair, "Do you really?"

"No." you answered while you walked with him to where he parked his car. "Don't get me wrong, you are annoying as fuck but I don't hate you and your dad."

"Okay. You are drunk." he said as he opened the car door for you, you sat on the passenger's seat and Satoru bent down to fasten your seatbelt for you.

Satoru's scent grazed under your nose and you got to say, it was much more intoxicating than the alcohol that you drank.

You just looked at his face as he fixed your seatbelt, he looked at you when he felt you touch his hair. "Did you dye your hair or it's naturally white?"

"It's natural." he said while looking at your eyes and you look down for a bit and you also notice that his lips were rosy.

"Are your lips naturally this rosy or do you put lip balm on?"

Satoru snickered at your questions. You aren't this talkative especially with him so he thought you really were drunk and it was a great decision to take you home.

But it was funny seeing you like this, he thought that you were cute, as he would put it.

"Don't laugh. Answer me."

"I put something on." he answered you and got some small lip balm in his pocket, "Here."

"What flavor is this? Does it have a flavor?" you asked, "Can I try it on? Put some on me."

He chuckled when you closed your eyes and pouted your lips. It looked like you were asking for a kiss, he thought but then he shrugged it off because you know why.

He opened the cap and you felt his pinky finger, spreading the lip balm on your lips. He looked at your face and he felt like something jumped inside his chest.

He let out a deep breath and ignored it, it was probably nothing.

"There." he said, causing you to open your eyes, you licked your lips and frowned.

"I can't taste it." he just chuckled at you and pulled himself up, he closed the door on your seat and circled around his car to get on the driver's seat. "Satoru, why can't I taste it?"

You asked one more time once he got inside the car, he turned to you and held your chin in between his fingers. "Open your mouth, let's see."

You rolled your eyes but then you obeyed him, he acted like he was checking every part of your mouth but then his eyes widened, "Oh... your tongue is missing."

You clicked your tongue as you gave him a slight smack in the head, "I might be drunk but I'm not stupid you annoying ass."

You throw yourself at your bed as you stare at your ceiling, you are crying again.

How could you not when you are the one pushing the love of your life to fall in love with somebody else?

You got your pillow and pressed it to your face as you screamed to your heart's content— until your screams were replaced with painful sobs, you tighten your grip on your pillow. "I miss you. I miss you so much."

You stopped crying when you heard your mother knock on your door. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, wait a minute." you answered and immediately fixed yourself.

You wouldn't want your mother to see you in a state like this, you looked like a mess. You were devastated on the inside and well, on the outside too.

After you neaten yourself, you opened the door and it revealed your mother. You frowned, this was the exact scene before you had that screaming match that got you grounded two years ago.

"Were you crying?"

You try as much as possible to remember what was the first thing she told you that time but you swear that that was the thing she asked you last time.

Because it is, you were crying before because of your father and now you are crying because of Satoru.

"No. I was not." you answered, "I have to do something, mom. Do you need something?"

All you need to do is to rewrite and avoid the things that would lead to making Satoru fall in love with you.

The time that your mother grounded you was the time that Satoru comforted you the most, he even helped you sneak out. All you need to do is change what happened in here so what happened to that party wouldn't happen again.

Because you surmised that, that's how things began for you and him. When you opened up yourself to him.

You need to avoid that now.

"I just need to make sure that you are okay with them moving in. I know you think that it was sudden but... you understand, right?"

"No, mom. I don't understand. I don't want them here! Do you get it? You never tried fixing things with dad! You never patched things up and just left him! Did you even think about me?!"

You walked towards your mother and wrapped your arms around her as you rested your chin on her shoulders, "I understand, mom. If you are happy then I am."

You heard your mother sigh in relief. She hugged you back and kissed the side of your head as she caressed your hair, "I knew you would understand. Thank you, honey."

Perhaps, this was also the universe giving you a chance to do right by your mother.

You were awful to her for finding the one who truly loved her, this is your chance to make things right.

"Oh, mom." you pulled away, "I'll be going to a party at Hana's next week. I just thought you should know."

She gave you a hum of approval and tapped your shoulders gently, "Of course."

You changed it.

There was no yelling at each other, no one's getting grounded and now Satoru wouldn't try to do his best in comforting you. That means he wouldn't sneak you out this time.

He'll live. You know it.

You would do everything for him to live even if you were hurting in the process.

"This isn't home." you said once Satoru pulled up in front of a diner.

"You need to sober up first. I won't take you home in that state." Satoru answered as he removed his seatbelt and the next was yours, "Come on."

He opened the car door and laid his hand for you, "You know you are being a gentleman but you are still annoying me, why is that?"

"It's my innate power to annoy people, I guess." he jokingly answered, making you laugh.

"Oh yeah. That makes sense."

"I was just kidding."

You ignored Satoru and walked into the diner first. You got into one of the seats because your head was spinning though you are getting a bit sober now.

"Can I have some?" Satoru asked you once you got your order.

You rolled your eyes, he had the chance to order some fries and he didn't, now he's asking for yours?

"Uh-uh. You should've ordered yours." you protected the plate of fries using your arms and when he tried to get on you swatted his hand. "I said no."

"You know you're too mean, right?"

"And what about it?" you raised your eyebrow. Instead of hating you because of your crappy attitude towards him, he finds you amusing.

He enjoyed annoying and teasing you these past few weeks, sometimes so much that you were too close to throw all the books on your shelf— no, scratch that. Sometimes you thought of throwing him the whole shelf instead.

"You know you remind me of someone." he started, you just frowned at him indicating that you were letting him speak because you were too busy eating your burger, "You remind me of myself."

You snorted as you swallowed your food first before answering him, "Am I... irritating too?"

"You reminded me of myself when my dad met your mom the first time." he smiled at you, "It felt like he moved on too fast from my mom and she was already dead three years after they met. I was shitty to him because I wasn't ready for him to move on."

The other reason that Satoru isn't hostile towards you even though you are to him is because he understood what you are going through.

"But it's not up to us you know? We don't get to choose who is that someone that they get to love. All we can do is be happy for them because they are happy. They grieved and they moved on, but it doesn't mean that they would forget about the person who made them happy too."

You bit your lip as you put your food down, you took a deep breath before answering him. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't feel bad that I was being shit to my mom.. and to your dad?"

You know that someday you'd have to accept it.

But ever since your parents separated, the hope of them getting back together didn't leave your heart. You were complete and you were happy— or so you thought.

They weren't happy and you realized that growing up. They just pulled it together for you and finally had the guts to leave each other when you were getting a bit aware of everything.

"Do you think I am a bad person?" you asked him, his face was filled with awe when he saw you started crying. He stood up and sat on the chair beside you— wrapping his arms around your shoulder as he pulled you close to him.

You didn't expect for him to hug you like this but it gave you comfort. This is the first time that you get to spill your feelings to somebody.

You never open stuff like this to your friends because you don't want to burden them with your problems, they already have their own.

It was odd because it gave you assurance that Satoru was the first person you cried to. It just felt safe in his arms.

It was funny because you thought that he was the last person you'd run to when you are in pain. You always thought it was your mother but she doesn't want you to cry about your father, hence, the screaming match you two had.

"I don't think you are. You are just hurting. You are still processing things and that's alright." he said as he caressed your hair. "You have plenty of time to make it right and you can start by being nice to me."

You wiped your tears and playfully smacked him in the chest. "Ha-ha. Okay."

"Going to a party?" Satoru asked you as he peered at your bedroom door, "Hana's party perhaps?"

You frowned, "How did you know?"

"Yuna invited me to go with her. You want to go together? I mean, we'd have to fetch her first if that's alright?"

Satoru isn't supposed to go to this party because he already did the last time and look what happened— he brought you to that diner, however, he'd be going with Yuna. That's different, right?

It changed. You figured that he'd focus all of his attention on Yuna and not you.

"Sure." you answered and went on putting your makeup.

He'd be going with Yuna, you'd be lying if you say that you aren't hurting but what can you do? But your feelings aren't important now, his life is.

...

"No. I want this." you said as you got the CD from the pile. "We will watch this."

He hummed and clicked his tongue as he got the CD from you, "No. I already know what happened there, the girl dies in the end."

You glared at him. You have wanted to watch that movie for a long time and now he just spoiled you big time. "I fucking hate you."

"Language." you heard your mother say as she walked to the living room carrying a huge bowl of popcorn. "Did you two choose already?"

You purse your lips as you sit on the couch while Satoru sits on the floor.

"Not this one because Satoru just spoiled it for me." you threw the CD on the pile, you nudged Satoru on his shoulder with your feet, "You choose. You win. I don't care."

He lets out his annoying laugh as he puts the disk inside the player. Great, he chose the scary one.

Your mom and his dad were sitting on the big couch and you two were sitting on the settee.

You aren't a big fan of scary movies, that's why you are getting kind of uneasy. Your mother wanted a movie night and you remembered what Satoru said a few months ago, that you can start making things right.

And you started by agreeing on 'family' movie night.

It was going well so far and you were able to contain your fear but then Satoru decided to be a freaking nitwit.

"Hey." you looked at him when he called for your name, "Who's that behind your back?"

You jumped and immediately opened the lights. "Mom!"

You don't mean to sound like a child, telling on your mother but that is exactly what you did. Your mother just laughed at you and Satoru's dad rebuked him.

"I was just playing. Sorry." he said as he walked towards you and messed with your hair like it is his favorite thing to do in the world.

And it is, he guesses. It's his favorite thing in the world plus annoying the hell out of you.

But you also let him because getting teased and getting your hair messed up by Satoru was perhaps your favorite thing in the world too.

The movie night is going well and your parents decided to turn in for the night but you both stayed to watch the movie franchise because Satoru forced you to.

It was silent between you two because you were both focused on the movie not until he felt your head on his shoulder.

He removed the strands of hair that was covering your face and just stared at you as you fell into a peaceful slumber, and that's when his lips formed an upward curve.

He doesn't know if has been spending too much time with you but he feels the happiest when he's with you.

He felt charged. He was curious about your whole being, he got this feeling of determination to get to know you better. To protect you and feel your pain or happiness with you.

Is it normal? To feel like that for his supposed stepsister?

He leaned his face closer to yours and much more closer until your lips were a few inches away.

"What the hell am I doing?" he sighed as he paused the movie.

He carefully leaned you on the sofa so that he could stand up. He gently carried you upstairs to your room and tucked you in your bed.

His heart was beating uncontrollably as he looked at your face again but he needed to push it down because your parents are getting married.

He's not supposed to fall for you but you are making it so damned impossible. You aren't doing anything, you just existed and he felt this for you.

Shit just happens, he guess.

He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and went out of your room.

"This is bad." he whispered, "So fucking bad."

...

The whole car ride to Hana's house was... you don't know, painful? To put it in detail, it was a gut wrenching car ride and all you wanted to do the whole time was to grab your heart inside your chest and maybe stomp on it yourself literally.

You should've taken a cab to Hana's but you didn't, you don't know if you are that stupid or do you just like to hurt yourself like that.

It was hurtful to see Satoru laugh and flirt with another woman, your friend of all people. They try to include you in their conversation but most of their jokes are, you know, more like an inside joke between them.

They're the only people who can relate to it, and all you can do is laugh forcefully as if you aren't dying inside.

You wanted to open it up to your best friend, Ieiri, who you miss very much — but this time you aren't meeting yet or you doubt that you two would even be friends because you and Satoru aren't together anymore.

Shoko knew along with Suguru, which you miss too, because they saw you two under that tree near the field and you don't know how it happened but since then you two were friends with them. You both trust them so they're the only people who really knew the true nature of your relationship.

Not only did you lose Satoru but you also lost these two. You would never meet them if you and Satoru aren't together— and now, you aren't even friends with them. You remember how fun you used to have together, the four of you.

Sometimes, you just want to come up to them and tell them how you missed them but you didn't want for them to think that you were weird. The last time that you saw them were in Satoru's funeral, because you didn't want to see anybody when he died.

You pass by Shoko sometimes in the hallway and you wanted to smile at her but then you fold.

Now, all you can do is drown yourself into innumerable alcoholic drinks but somehow, instead of getting light-headed and free— you feel your chest tighten more and more.

Your head was clouded with the thoughts of Satoru and Yuna, who is by the way flaunting their relationship or whatever that is in front of you.

You just want to pull Yuna out of Satoru's lap and just throw her outside.

"Fuck this." you whispered as you stood up from the couch and you probably had too much to drink that you were close to falling but you still managed.

You walked into the balcony and got some cigarette from your close acquaintance.

You were about to light it up but then someone snatched it from your mouth. You turned to that person. "Does your mom know?"

"No." you answered, you can't be mad at him. You know he doesn't like it when someone he cares about smokes. "Would you tell on me?"

"No but don't get near that thing again." he answered and leaned his back on the railings, he looked at your face and he noticed how distressed you looked. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Where's Yuna?" you asked and didn't even bother to hide the bitterness in your groggy voice.

"She's talking to someone." he said, "Are you really okay? Do you want to go home?"

Are you okay? Of course not. You forgot what it feels like to be alright. You just want everything to be okay, you want Satoru but this world is unfair. You know you can't have it all.

...

Satoru is odd today. In fact, he has been for a week. He wasn't his usual self. He isn't making his usual stupid jokes and irritating the hell out of you.

But that's what you want, right? Him, not to annoy the living hell out of you for once. However, the thing is— you were used to it already.

Your day feels incomplete when he's not the one banging on your door every morning to wake you up. It isn't complete without him talking to you non-stop as he drives you both to the uni or when you two are singing to the song that's playing on the radio.

Did you do something wrong?

You were just looking outside the window as Satoru drove, contemplating whether to talk to him or not.

You sighed as you turned to look at him, you were about to speak but then your mind suddenly went blank and looked at the window again.

Satoru can see you from his peripheral vision, he knows that you must be confused by the way that he's acting.

But ever since that movie night, his mind was going crazy along with the undeniably fast beating of his heart whenever you are around.

He knows that he needs to stop what he feels before it gets deeper.

But it irritates you that he isn't irritating you. You wanted him to talk to you just like he used to.

It's irking, you thought. You don't want to admit it but you are actually missing him.

You are missing Satoru and he is right there.

Why in the hell would you feel that way for him?

Is he tired of you being mean to him? You thought you both established that it was just your way to joke around him?

Are you too much? Do you need to be nicer to him?

"For fuck's sake would just tell me what did I do?!" you snapped and looked at him.

You can't think too much, it drives you really crazy.

On the other hand, Satoru was startled by your sudden movement. He maneuvered the car into the side and looked at you. "What the fuck was that? Are you trying to get us killed?"

"Sorry." you said with a low voice, "But what the hell is wrong with you? Are you avoiding me? What did I do?"

"You did nothing. Okay? Just... I need to- nothing. Just shut up." he said as he looked away from you and was about to drive again but you stopped him.

"We aren't moving unless you tell me what the hell is wrong with you." you said while holding his hand, just to stop him from driving.

It was just simple hand touching but he felt like his heart was quivering around instead of pumping normally.

"Satoru." your soft voice made his ears perked up. Your voice and how your lips part whenever you say his name is driving him crazy.

This isn't normal— is what's on his mind. He can't think straight.

"Please? I.." you paused, "I miss you."

That's it.

He took a deep breath as he removed his seatbelt in a haste, grabbing your nape as he gave you a peck on your lips.

Both your pupils dilated at the sudden contact. You just looked at each other not knowing what to do.

"I'm sorry." he broke the silence. He let go of your nape and fastened his seatbelt as he drove once again.

You just looked outside the window as you subconsciously touched your lips.

You must be crazy because you wanted him to just pull your nape again and kiss you again like that, maybe longer even.

...

All day.

The only thing on your mind the whole day was Satoru kissing you. Thankfully, he had extra classes today so you wouldn't be going home with him today.

You entered the house and you saw your mother on the living room couch with a bunch of magazines.

"Hey, sweetheart." she greeted you, "Where's Satoru?"

"Huh?" you suddenly panicked.

Oh for fuck's sake, you just heard his name and you went nutsy.

"Where's your brother?"

When you heard that word it felt like something shattered. It vexed you— you also felt that small prick in your heart.

"He had extra classes." you said as you walked to the stairs, but before your foot even touched the first step, you turned to your mother.

You wanted to say that he isn't your brother.

He's not really, right?

Your mother noticed how you were just standing there, "Do you need something?"

"Nothing."

You just let it go.

Your mother might think that there is something going on if you say that, considering that you two have been close these past few weeks.

You did everything you could to forget the scene earlier. You did your tasks, you read a book— no, books. You rolled on your bed, stared at the ceiling and looked outside the window.

But you can't take your mind off that.

You even took a bath to freshen up your mind but Satoru's still there.

It's like he's living in your mind.

You were blow drying your hair until you heard a knock on your door. You turned the blower off and opened the door, revealing the man that occupied your head the whole damn day.

"You're home." you said as you looked at him, it felt like your world lit up.

It was like the whole scene before you was a bright light and the center of it all was Satoru.

"Were you waiting for me?" he asked you and gave you a smile.

"Stop smiling." you said as you went back to your vanity table, Satoru then followed you inside and closed the door.

"Why?"

Because he's making your heart crazy? Because that smile was giving you all sorts of feelings that you feel like falling on your knees? That's why, why did he even ask?

He snatched the blower from your hand and dried your hair himself. You looked at him through the mirror as he combed your hair.

Is he done not talking to you? Is he back to his old self?

"So... you're not avoiding me anymore?" you asked and a simple nod was his answer.

"Satoru." you called his name. He hummed and looked at you in the mirror. "Are you really sorry?"

"For what?"

"For kissing me."

He stopped combing your hair. He turned the blower off and you turned to him, you looked up and you saw him staring at your face.

"I really want to because it's wrong." he answered you, "But I'm not."

He moved his hand to cup your face, thumb caressing your cheeks as he looked straight to your eyes. "Is it bad?"

"I want you to do that again. Is it bad?" you returned the question. He just stared at you with his ocean blue eyes, calculating every little move your face makes.

Memorizing every feature on your gorgeous face so that when he closes his eyes as he kisses you, he'd see your face.

"Satoru-"

He bent down and pressed his lips against yours. You smiled in his mouth as you closed your eyes, hooking your arms on his nape as you stood up.

His other hand held your waist and pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss that you both shared.

You suddenly felt all your nerves, some fussy things were moving inside your stomach and your heart was racing as if it was in a competition.

Satoru bit and sucked your lips into his mouth causing you to heave a bit, making it possible for him to delve his tongue inside your mouth.

His other hand went from your cheeks to your hair, gripping the strands in between his fingers.

You're supposed to feel guilty but all you feel is your happiness filling inside your heart. You had never felt so charged, so energetic.

It felt like your battery was empty for a long time then this happened.

Satoru knows that doing this means that he's letting himself fall in deep and he knows that nothing, not even your parents can keep him away from you now.

"We're going, come on." Satoru said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to guide you.

Still dazed, you swatted his arm and tried to walk yourself, "I can walk."

"You can't." he insisted, you just let him touch you. Just for tonight.

You'll let him touch you. You'll let yourself be close to him again even if it's just for tonight.

"Okay." you mumbled as you leaned on him. You held on tight to him because after tonight, you'll let go of him.

You'll move on. You don't know how the hell you would do that but you'll figure it out.

You were unaware of your surroundings because you were with Satoru, all you know is that he talked to Yuna about something and now you are both walking to his car.

He opened the passenger's seat and supported your head as you entered his car. He bent down to fasten your seatbelt and all you did was to look at his face the entire time.

Disregarding the fact that it wasn't going any differently like the last time— though, you didn't ask him any questions now.

Satoru looked at your face once he was finished, he gave you a smile before closing the door on your side.

He sat on the driver's seat and was about to put his seatbelt on when you held his hand. "Satoru. Gojo Satoru."

"Hmm?" he turned his head to you, you gave him a smile as you cupped his cheeks, he held your hand that was on his face.

"You know..." you started, "You look like someone."

Satoru frowned for a bit but then he asked you, "Who?"

"The man that I love." you said as you pulled your hand away from his face as you lean your back on your seat, closing your eyes. "But he's gone."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know." you chuckled as you wiped your tears, "He just went on living as if I wasn't a part of his life, you know? What a jerk, right?"

Satoru just listened to you, impervious to the fact that you are pertaining to him.

"But I miss him so much," tears began to fall one by one until it wasn't unstoppable, "I miss him, Satoru. Can you bring him back? Please? Bring him back to me."

"What are you doing?!" you asked Satoru with your wide eyes when he just hopped in the shower with you. "Our parents-"

It has been a few weeks since that kiss you shared and it was agreed that you are in a relationship with him, just like that.

And since then it was hard to keep your hands off each other. It was hard though, the sneaking and the hiding.

As much as you want to sleep in the same room and just embrace each other all night, you live with your mom and his dad. Sometimes, he would sneak out of his room and go to yours and he would wake up before your parents did to go back to his.

You both admit it, your situation is kind of exhausting and risky.

But you both felt nothing but excitement and happiness. You have never felt this happy ever since your father left. It was a bit sad though that you cannot flaunt to everyone how happy you are.

However, you thought, it doesn't matter if they know or not. What's important is that you and Satoru knew.

It's your precious moments together that's important. You know that it's only yours and you both get to keep that memories close to your heart.

"They went to work already." He gave you a mischievous grin as he wrapped his arms around your bare waist and rested his chin on your head.

You just let him be as you both let the water fall on your bodies.

You close your eyes as you feel Satoru touch your body with his hands, as you feel his lips kiss your face down to your neck. You feel every little bit of spark as the tip of his fingers came in touch with your skin.

You turned around to face him.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulder and was about to kiss him but then you heard a knock on the bathroom door along with the voice of your mother.

You pushed Satoru and gestured to him to keep his mouth shut.

"Mom?!" you said a bit loudly, "I'm taking a bath!"

"I forgot my makeup bag there. Can you hand it to me?" you heard her. You looked at the sink and you saw her purse.

Shit.

"Hide behind the curtain." you whispered and he just nodded at you.

You wrapped the towel around your body and got the purse, you opened the door slightly— enough to hand the purse to your mother.

"Here you go." you were about to close the door when she stopped you.

You feel like your body is shaking. Nervousness was flowing all through your veins.

"Did Satoru leave already? His car's still here."

"Huh? I don't know, why would you ask me? I'm taking a bath here." you said continuously with a hint of being defensive, you just hope that your mother wouldn't sense it. "Maybe he went out for a while. I don't know."

Your mother just nodded and then you closed the door, you leaned on it and exhaled in relief. You look at Satoru who was covering his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

You glared at him but then that glare turned into a silent laugh as you joined him in the shower again.

He was about to kiss you but then you stopped him, he pouted. "Why?"

"We need to get going. We still have classes, you know?"

"We don't need to attend though." he chuckled, you just rolled your eyes at him, "I'm just kidding."

...

"Do you think they're wondering where we are?" you ask Satoru while your fingers are interlocked as you walk side by side at the beach.

In your free hands were your shoes', you just felt the sand on your feet and the mini waves that were thumping on your legs. It was refreshing, looking at the extensive body of water made you feel free.

And it was special because you are with Satoru.

"No. We go home late anyways sometimes." he answered, "Just tell them you had something at your organization then I had an extra class."

You just smiled and nodded at him. Your classes actually ended two hours ago but then Satoru wanted to take you out on a date to the beach. It was a bit far because you had to drive out from the city.

You liked staring out at the sea because it reminded you of Satoru's eyes. Just like his eyes, the sea was calming.

Looking at his irises always gives you the sanctuary and assurance that you need whenever you are feeling overwrought.

You both sat on the sand as you looked at the sea. Well, you were but then Satoru points out the guy that stumbled on the sand and now you are both laughing.

"Stop it." you said and tried with all your might to stop laughing, "You know that's not nice."

"Then why are you laughing with me?"

You snorted and lightly smacked him in the shoulder, "Because he fell, stupid ass."

You just looked at each other as you laughed your ass off. You stopped when you noticed that Satoru was just looking at you with a smile on his face, "What?"

"I'm capturing your laugh in my mind," he said as he point his temple. "I'm making a film here."

"Huh?" you said with a confused tone and face.

"I'm making a film about you in my mind. So that when I want to see it, I can just wind it back to the beginning."

You let out a wide smile, "Oh, so that's a fancy way for you to say that you are engraving me in your memories? Is that it?"

Satoru just gave you a nod and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to lean on him. You felt him kiss your hair. "I love you."

You felt like your whole body shook up. Did he just say that he loves you?

You turned your head to look at his face, "What did you just say?"

"I'm saying I love y-"

You didn't let him finish and just turned your body around to kiss him, you both laughed when he fell onto his back in the sand. You cup his face as you savor every touch that your lips were making.

You didn't need to say it back because he wasn't asking you, he was telling you— and this kiss, it was enough for him to know that you feel the same.

You didn't care about other people whether they were looking at the two of you or not. You had your own little world with him.

"You have sand on your hair." you said as you pulled away. And being the menace that he is, he got a handful and put it in your hair.

"Now you have too."

"Satoru!"

...

"I was looking for you." you closed your book and looked up at your boyfriend, "Your blockmate says you like reading here."

You just nodded, you both leaned on the tree. "You know this is a nice make out spot."

You look at him with wide eyes, "Satoru! We're on campus."

"So? They can't see us, the big tree is covering us."

"Stop it." you said as you read your book again. Satoru got your book and held your chin in between his fingers. He pressed his lips into yours as he held the book up to your faces to cover it.

"There. I told you no one would see." he said as he winked at you.

"You're insane." you said as you looked around. No one seemed to look at you two, the students had their own life.

"I know, right?" he said and chuckled. You just shook your head and continued reading with a smile on your face, all the while, Satoru was just leaning on your shoulders.

"We saw that." You and Satoru both looked at the people who were standing in front of you. The woman sat beside you, "I'm Shoko and that idiot there is Suguru."

"You're the idiot, idiot. " You suppressed your laugh because they looked cute and friendly. Suguru scratched his head, "I told her that we should leave you two alone."

"Then why didn't you?" Satoru said, you just nudged his shoulder because he sounded rude when the two of them are just being nice, though, they watched you two kiss so..

"What? I just wanted to befriend them, they look cute together." Shoko made a face to Suguru and then turned to you, "So, what's your name?"

Satoru just stared at you as you cried your eyes out inside his car. You covered your face with your hands as you sob. He didn't know what else to do but what bothers him the most is that he was hurting too.

He doesn't even know you and you barely talk to him but seeing you like this hurts the hell out of him.

"I.." he sighed, "I don't know what to do. Can I do some-"

"Just take me home." you said as you wiped your tears, "Please."

He just looked at you with a glint of concern in his eyes and started to drive away. You just stared outside the window— not even sparing him a single glance because you know that once you do, you'll start breaking down again.

The car ride to your home was silent. The gloomy atmosphere filled the space and naturally, Satoru would want to lift up your spirits but something tells him that he should leave you alone.

He doesn't get it, why does it hurt like this? Why is he hurting too much?

He didn't know that he cares about you like this.

"Can you manage going inside? I need to go back for Yuna-"

You removed your seatbelt and opened the car door yourself, slamming it once you got outside. Leaving Satoru in there as you go inside alone.

That's right, he has Yuna now. You're nothing to him now, you were just simply his stepsister.

Months have passed and Satoru and Yuna are you don't know, getting serious? You weren't driving to school with him just like before.

He wasn't taking you out on dates, he takes Yuna. Of course, she's his girlfriend. What do you expect when you pushed them?

And you are doing all your might to move on from him. Sometimes you are just wishing that there's a on and off button when you fall in love with someone so that you can just turn your feelings off for Satoru or you wish that you are still dreaming.

You try sleeping it off every time to see if you'd wake up from this absurd dream that's why you are asleep most of the time but to no avail, this is really happening.

You have to push through this pain. You can't even open it up to your friends because who would believe that you travel back to time?

"Satoru, why don't you invite your girlfriend for dinner tomorrow?" your mother said and looked at Satoru across the dining table.

You gripped your utensils, why, why did your mother have to say that? Why are they inflicting pain on you even more?

Though you can't blame them because they don't know.

"Yes, that's a nice idea. Let's meet her." His father added.

You just looked down and continued on eating, you can't look to any of them because you know you'd fall apart.

"I'll tell her." Satoru answered and that's when you dropped your utensils, they looked at you.

You stood up and picked your plate up, "I'm finished."

You didn't let them say anything and went to the sink to put your plate down and after that you locked yourself up in your room.

Each and everyday just gets harder for you. Sometimes you just want to run away but where would you go?

"Did you read all of this already?" Satoru asked as he look at your bookshelf, you just hummed at him because you were busy reading a book. "How did you get into reading anyways?"

"My father is a teacher." you answered.

Satoru just looked around until he noticed your book. His eyes squinted as he got that from your shelves, "Oh. This isn't a book."

You looked at him and immediately stood up but it's too late because he already opened it, you forgot to put a lock on it. Shit.

"You smoke?" you noticed a bit of disapproval in his voice. You nodded as you walk towards him.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"Yeah." He answered, "I don't like it. I mean- I just don't."

You sensed the change around his atmosphere. It feels like he was bothered and disgruntled? You closed the book that you are currently reading and walked towards him. "Why...?"

"That thing kills, you know? Aren't you afraid to have some kind of disease because of that?" Satoru answered a bit uneasy, "I just don't want to lose you. What if you got sick?"

You were a bit surprised when you saw tears cascading down on the side of his eyes.

"Hey. Hey." You soothed him, you pulled him to sit in your bed, "It's okay. You are not going to lose me, okay? I'll throw it out. I promise."

He pulled you down to sit on his lap, he buried his face on your neck and tighten his grasp on your waist. You just kiss and caress his hair until he calms down a bit.

"My mom died of lung cancer." he whispered while his face are still buried on your neck.

You just sighed and tapped his back gently. He didn't need to explain anything any further, you understood him and you know that this is a serious matter for him.

"Okay. I won't smoke anymore. I promise."

...

"Baby, wake up." you whispered and poked Satoru's cheek. He sneaked inside your room again and he needs to wake up now because your mom will wake up any time now.

Not that she's checking both your rooms but what if she did? You just can't risk getting caught.

Satoru just groaned and tightened his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"I don't want to let go of you." He whispered, you chuckled and gave him a peck on his lips.

"You'll see me later. You need to go back to your room now."

Your set up has been like this for a year now. You don't even know how you both managed to keep this a secret for a twelve months.

And that reminds you, this day marks your one year together.

He whined for a bit like a child but then he sat down on your bed. You just laughed at his face because he looked so down. "You always see me anyways. Aren't you getting tired of my face?"

Satoru clicked his tongue and cupped your face, "This face? Why would I get tired of my pretty baby's face?"

You giggled when he kiss your face all over and finally on your lips. "I love you. See you later."

Satoru silently slipped out of your room and went to his as you laid back down on your bed. It feels weird, not having him in your bed. It felt empty.

But you can't do anything about it. You know your mother wouldn't like this because you're supposed to be family.

But what can you do when he's the one who only made you feel like this?

You woke up before Satoru and went down on the living room once you finished taking a bath and fixed yourself. It was your last day on the uni before your summer break and your mom and Satoru's dad's wedding is getting near as well.

They have been living in your house for nearly two years now. You were happy for your mother but when you think about their wedding day coming— you feel this hurt in your chest.

Because you know they'll never accept your relationship but you don't want to ruin your mother's happiness.

You don't want to hide it but you are afraid of what's going to happen once they knew.

You don't want to leave Satoru either.

You sighed, you don't want to keep thinking about it. For now, you'll just go with whatever happens.

Once you got down, you saw your mother cooking breakfast and Satoru's dad drinking his coffee while he read some news. They looked at you and smiled, then there's your guilt creeping up on you.

"Good morning, darling." Your mother greeted.

"Morning." you simply said.

You just got yourself some coffee and decided to drink it on the front porch because you don't want to see their faces. There's the fear of thinking that they may know something. You were uneasy most of the time and Satoru constantly reminds you that they don't know about you two.

"Hey." You jumped a bit when you heard your boyfriend's voice behind you. You turned around and chuckled when you saw how messy his hair is, he's wearing his black baggy sweater that exposes his collarbone. "Good morning, baby."

As much as he want to hug you from behind and shower you with his kisses, he stopped himself. If only he could, you know he would never let go of you.

"You look sexy in that." you remarked.

"Yeah. I know." He said with a confidence and snatched your cup from you.

"Get your own." you said as you snatched it back again, "Mom might see us."

"They won't. They're in the kitchen and I'm too lazy to get my own."

You shook your head and gave him your coffee, "Drink it fast and get ready, I don't want to be late on our last day."

"Okay, boss." He answered, you turned around to enter your house but then Satoru called your name. You hummed and looked at him, "Happy anniversary, baby."

You just smiled at him and went inside. One year, it seems like yesterday you didn't want him in your house but now, you are celebrating your one year anniversary with him.

Life is really unpredictable, huh.

...

"Where are you going again?"

"It's at Ieiri's family lake house." You tell your mother, "Don't worry about me, Satoru's there anyways."

You told your mother that you and your circle of friends are having a weekend getaway at Ieiri's lake house because it was summer already. You need some excuse so that you and Satoru can celebrate your anniversary which was yesterday and luckily your friends are supportive.

You also told your parents that the people consists of ten to fifteen people so it wouldn't be suspicious but the truth is it's just you, Satoru, Ieiri and Suguru.

You didn't want to lie but you really have no choice.

"Let's go?" you turned to Satoru and nodded.

Your mother kissed your cheek, "Okay. Take care, don't drink too much. I know there will be drinking so.." she turned to Satoru, "Look out for your sister, okay?"

You cringed a lot to yourself when you heard the word 'sister'. It weirded you out because you know, you and Satoru are having sex and that's not what step-siblings do.

Satoru noticed your face and snorted a bit but then he gave your mother a smile, "I will."

Not long, you heard some car honk outside, you both went outside and you saw Ieiri leaning on the campervan. "Hey, let's go."

You excitedly went inside with Ieiri and saw Suguru on the driver's seat, he smiled at you. "Hey. Where's Satoru?"

Before you could even answer, Satoru went inside. "Hey, ugly face."

"Hey, monkey face." Suguru teased Satoru, you just rolled your eyes and sat beside Ieiri.

"Your mom bought your excuse?" she asked as she open a bottle of beer for you and for her, you nodded as you reach the can.

"Thank you for doing this." You said, Ieiri just gave you a smile and placed her arm around your shoulder.

"Of course! That's what friends are for."

The road trip to the lake house were fun as usual. It is never boring with the four of you. There's always Satoru and Suguru teasing each other or sometimes its Shoko and Suguru then you and Satoru.

It's basically just you making fun of each other.

"I don't get it. How could you stand Satoru when he's being annoying like this?" Ieiri told you as she glare at your boyfriend.

"Oh. You don't know how annoyed at him at the beginning. I just want to punch his face sometimes, you know?" you added, earning a laugh from Suguru and Ieiri.

"Hey!" Satoru exclaimed, he looked at you for a bit at the rear-view mirror because it was his turn to drive. "You're being mean to me."

...

When you arrived at the lake house, Suguru and Ieiri decided to take a nap on their respective rooms while you and Satoru decided to look around.

You were left with awe once you arrived, it was a two storey window lake house with prow front and a rustic design inside. It was enormous and utterly beautiful, it was the perfect place for you and Satoru to celebrate your first ever anniversary.

"You know I have always wanted a big house like this." you said as you sat on the front porch with him, "So that I could have my own library."

"Okay."

Your brows furrowed and looked at Satoru, "What okay?"

"Okay, I'll build you a big house with your own big library. Then I'll buy you all the books in this world. Read all of them, anytime you want."

"Really?"

"Really."

You smiled and leaned your head on his shoulders. You looked at the lake and started thinking about your future with Satoru. You pictured getting married, buying or as Satoru said, building a big house and having kids.

You wanted all that with him but there's still the thought of your parents finding out. The life with Satoru seemed far-fetched when you two are hiding the beautiful relationship that you have.

"Do you see me in your future?"

You heard Satoru chuckled, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Baby, I already planned everything out in my mind. I even know what our kids names will be."

"You mean child. I only want one."

"But I want ten."

"Excuse me?!" you exclaimed, you looked at him and you saw that mischievous grin on his face, "Okay, maybe two but ten? Do you think my uterus is some kind of baby factory or whatever?"

You know he was just kidding but you like to ride on his stupid jokes because you two click just like that.

"How about eight?"

"No."

"Six?"

"No."

"Hmm. We'll see."

You just want to dig a hole, get inside and bury yourself there.

That's all you wanted to do as you hear your mother tell Yuna how beautiful she is. How she and Satoru were so cute together.

You just want to yell, oh my god, we get it. They're cute, why don't you marry them yourself if you like them together so much.

But you kept your mouth shut. You are just listening on from the kitchen, the plan is to get water and go back to your room immediately but you can't stop yourself from listening to their conversation.

"You'll go to our engagement party, okay?" your mother invited Yuna. Great, they said that was for family only. So, is she? Part of your family?

You took a deep breath just to ease the pain building inside your chest. So, just get out of there and go to your room.

But you must like to inflict obliterating pain on yourself. You saw how Satoru's eyes sparkle when he's with Yuna. You saw how he can't keep his eyes off her.

Is he making a film about Yuna on his mind too? Maybe. Yuna's the star on the film that he's making now and you're a mere side character.

A side character who was essential to get them together but still, your role was just in the beginning and you were set aside like you were nothing when you were Satoru's whole world back then.

"Oh." Satoru said with a love-struck look in his face. You swear you can almost see some heart coming out of his eyes as he look at you with his loving look.

You smiled and turned your body to give him a full look on your dress, "Pretty, right?"

"Baby, you are.." he walked towards you and checked you out again, "I don't know. Gorgeous, alluring, ravishing, captivating, lovely, striking, magnificent-"

"Okay, Satoru." you pressed your index finger on his lips to stop him from saying every word on the dictionary, you noticed some of the saleslady chuckling and cooing at you two. "I get it, babe. Thank you."

Satoru just kissed the side of your head, "You can't blame because you look really beautiful."

You are dress shopping with Satoru for your mother and his fathers' engagement party, you were supposed to go alone but you know Satoru, he would want to be with you every chance he get.

But you aren't complaining, because you also want to be with him every minute of every day.

...

"Dance with me." Satoru whispered to your ear.

If you could, you would. But you know they might get suspicious if they see you that close to each other. No, scratch suspicious— they would know about you two.

But you had to admit it, you also wanted to get on the dance floor and slow dance with Satoru just like your mom and his dad or the other guests.

"Satoru." You sighed and looked at him, "You know we can't."

"Okay, what if we get out of here? We'll come back."

"We'll leave the party just so we could dance with each other?" you paused, Satoru looked at you waiting for your answer, "Yeah. Okay."

You both giggled and you looked around first before subtly slipping out of the party, once you went out of the event hall, Satoru held your hand and dragged you to the event's place garden.

"Milady." Satoru said as he laid his hand for you, you let out a smile as you held his hand. Satoru spun you around then he held your waist once you face him.

You held into his shoulders as you both dance to the faint music from the event hall. It wasn't that far from the garden, so the music that was playing was enough for the two of you to hear.

You then changed your positions and now you're just embracing each other as you sway your bodies. You just close your eyes as you lean your head on his chest, smiling as you listen to him whisper sweet things to you.

"Satoru."

"Hmm?"

"What if we run away? Then we wouldn't have to hide. We wouldn't sneak out. You don't have to wake up early, you could stay with me in bed or maybe even we could stay in bed all day."

"I'd like that."

You know Satoru, he would do everything for you. He would defy anything for you. You know him and that means, he knows you too.

He knows that you couldn't do that even if you wanted to. He knows that you'll worry about everything.

And he is right. You feel like you were betraying your mother, he knows you feel guilty about keeping this to her. He knows that you couldn't live with the burdened feeling of leaving your mother.

You looked up to him, "Then where would we go?"

"Anywhere you like, my love."

You gave him a smile and hooked your arms around his neck, you tiptoed to reach his face and once you did, you closed your eyes and pressed your lips together.

You kissed Satoru like it was your last, you savored every moment. You felt every reactions that your bodies were making. You felt the rush, the heat— you felt like all of the happiness in the world was being poured at this moment.

But that's the problem of feeling this emotion, you can feel it anytime but you don't know when would it be taken from you. Your happiness at this moment was fleeting and it was exchanged with fear.

"Satoru."

You both looked at the person who spoke. It was his father, together with your mother who was looking at you with her surprised eyes.

"Mom.." you stuttered, you pulled away from Satoru. She just looked at you with clear hurt and disappointment in her eyes. You know it's the worst, when she isn't saying anything.

You walked towards her and held her hand, "Mom. Listen-"

You were stunned when she strike your face with the palm of her hand. Satoru's eyes widen at the sudden violence, he didn't waste any time and pulled you close to him. Your mother looked at the two of you with disbelief.

"How could you do this? I thought you were supportive of me? But you were sabotaging me the whole time."

You know yourself that it wasn't your intention to sabotage her. You were just in love.

"It's not like that- I wasn't.. Please."

She just took a deep breath and went back inside. You covered your face with your hands as you sob. Satoru embraced you in his arms and just let you cry.

Satoru's dad gave the two of you a glance before going after your mother. He was surprised but he didn't feel any anger. In fact, he was a bit happy that he get to see his son this happy. So young and in love— though he thought, it was unfortunate that it was you who he fell in love with.

Five, was it?

No, you think it was a countless glasses of champagne to make you this light-headed and a bit out of yourself. You aren't planning on getting drunk on your mother's engagement party but seeing Satoru dance with Yuna on the dance floor, just ruins your mood.

That was supposed to be you, you thought.

Funny, they get to do what you two can't do then. You were just tapping the table as you watch the bubbles on your champagne. You don't know where would you turn your attention to so you just did that.

You know how would this harrowing event end but then, you changed it, right? This night would end differently unlike the one from the past.

You frowned when Satoru walked towards you and Yuna went you don't know where. "Hey."

"Hey!" you said a bit loud and cheerful, so you snickered, "Where's your girlfriend heading to?"

"Bathroom." He sat beside you, "Are you okay? You're getting a bit drunk.. you know that's enough."

"I'm fine! Now, tell me about Yuna. She's nice, huh?" you rested your elbows on the table and looked intently at Satoru who was now frowning at you.

"Yeah. She's great."

"Nice! So... are you going to marry her?" you laughed as you wipe the tears that was already flooding your eyes.

Satoru looked around, some of the guests were looking at you now since your laugh wasn't that hard to ignore. He sighed as he stand up, he's always looking out for you whenever you are drunk and he doesn't know why he keeps on doing that.

You always concern him when you are like this.

He doesn't know if you had a problem with or what but he noticed that you only talk to him when you are drunk, he knows you are avoiding him when you are sober. There are times that he tries to make conversation with you but you always answer him with only a one word.

The last longest talk you had was after Hana's party and that was months ago.

And, you were drunk then.

Like you are now.

"Let's get you out of here." He said, "Before your mother sees you like this. Please?"

You sighed and nodded at him. You stood up and he tried to support you but you swatted his hand away, if you let him touch you then you know you won't keep away from him.

You tried so hard for months not to make contact with him and you wouldn't let yourself now.

He just followed you until you reached the garden, you laughed when you remembered what happened here.

"Satoru." you said, "Remember what happened here?"

"No. I don't. What are you saying?"

That's right, you sighed and shook your head. "Nothing. I'm talking shit. Don't mind me."

You looked at him. You need to fight it. You need to stop yourself from touching him.

But you miss him so much, you miss him so much that it ruins you.

But fuck it, he isn't in love with you now so you aren't breaking any rules from that white freaking book from some kind of magical creature you don't even know.

You walked towards Satoru and wrapped your arms around his waist, you rested your head on his chest. "I miss you."

Satoru thought you were talking about the man that you love that looks like him, which is really him though he isn't aware, so he let you.

You were always devastated. You don't talk to him but he observes you every now and then, he have always noticed how dreary you look. You radiate that kind of energy that he can feel your pain too.

"I miss you, Satoru." you whispered but enough for him to hear. "I miss you so freaking much. I miss being close to you like this."

"I'm.." he paused, "I'm not him. I'm not the man that you are talking about, right?"

He's not him.. you felt like something woke up inside you once you heard him say that.

You pulled away from him and you nodded.

It was like you are waking up slowly.

He's right. He is Satoru but he isn't your Satoru.

Your Satoru always looked at you with gleam in his eyes. He always looked at you and touched you like you were the most precious and fragile thing in this whole world.

He treated you like you were his whole universe. You know that even from his last breath.

Your Satoru died already, he's not him.

"You're right." you answered, "You aren't him."

You calmed yourself down and told Satoru that you are going to talk to your mother, so you left him on the garden and followed your mother inside, she isn't on the events hall so you figured that she was on the dressing room.

You knocked before you open the door and you were right, she was sitting on the chair while talking to someone on the phone.

"Mom.." she looked at you and dropped the call, "Let's talk, please."

"There's nothing to talk about. You and Satoru can't happen. I'm sending you to your aunt out of the country-"

You stopped her. She can't do that. You aren't a child that she could just send somewhere she like. You are an adult who is capable of making decisions.

"Mom, no! Please, would you just listen to me?!" you pleaded. "Just listen, please."

"It's done. You can't change my mind-"

You took a deep breath as you leave the room, shutting the door behind you. If she won't listen then you wouldn't have any choice but to do what you're thinking, right?

You ran to the garden and you saw Satoru waiting for you, you smiled and laid your hand for him. "What happened?"

"Hold my hand." you said, and once he did— you squeezed it, "We're running away. Okay?"

Satoru frowned, "What?"

"Just... please. Let's get away from here."

You don't know how all of this is happening. All you know is that you are now on the passenger's seat of his Satoru's car as he drive to somewhere you don't know.

You were just looking outside and Satoru is looking at you every now and then with a worried look in his face.

"Satoru.. I can't. I can't hurt my mom." You looked at him, tears cascading from your eyes.

"Do you want to go back?"

It was entirely up to you. Satoru would do everything you ask of him.

But if you go back then you'd be far away from him.

So, do you want to go back?

"No... I don't. Just drive."

Why does it have to be like this? You just loved. Is this the cost of being happy?

"Are you sure?" Satoru asked one more time. You wiped your tears and smiled at him, you are very sure.

You want to be with him. That is all you want.

"I'm sure. Okay? So, just get us far away from here. Get us to some place that we wouldn't need to hide. That we can be just us."

Satoru looked at you and smiled, "Okay, boss."

You both chuckled and looked ahead but then your smile faded.

All of it happened too fast.

Lights.

Sirens.

You heard all sorts of noises and all you wanted is for them to shut up so you could rest peacefully. You had never felt this kind of weight on your body and all you wanted was to rest.

You closed your eyes for a bit and all of the noise faded, when you opened them the first person you saw was your mother.

You saw how happy she looked, she immediately stood up and called someone. Your mind was a bit hazy, you tried looking around and he was nowhere to be found.

Satoru... where is he?

"Mom." You called for her, she held your hand and cupped your face, "Satoru.. where is Satoru?"

Your mother sighed and kissed your forehead, "He's right there, honey."

You looked at where she pointed at, there was some glass door dividing the room, you can see him as he sleep peacefully.

You felt relieved, you are both fine.

Some doctors checked you out and did some tests on you to see if you were alright. You just stared at Satoru as you wait for him to wake up.

The doctors said that he might take longer to wake up than you because his injuries were far more extensive.

But he would wake up, you know that.

So, you would just sleep on your side— facing Satoru, watching him every second as you wait for him to open his eyes. You wanted to stand up to hold him but you still can't. So, all you can do was stare at him.

You lost track of how long you were watching him.

It has been two or three days? You are doing your physical therapy today, Ieiri and Suguru visited the both of you but he isn't waking up yet.

"Baby." you whispered as you look at him, "Wake up. Please?"

...

"I can't! I can't do this!" you cried out, "Please. I can't. Mom, it hurts."

"You can do it, honey. You just need to- okay, what would Satoru say if he's awake? He would say that you can do it. He would tell you not to give up, right?"

Your physical therapy was excruciating and exhausting. It made you feel like you are in a bottom pit and no matter what you can't pull yourself up.

But what gets you through is Satoru because he'll wake up. He is your strength and you know that he won't let you give up.

So you pushed through— you need to get through this so when he wakes up, you'll be there to help him when it's his turn to do this.

The days turns into weeks. You could stand up on your own now and you are almost done with your physical therapy— sooner you would be sent home but how could you go home without Satoru?

You held his hand, "Satoru. I swear if you don't wake up."

You sighed and caressed his face, outlining every bit of his features using your fingers, "I miss you. Please, wake up."

You never left Satoru's side. You were about to nod off but then you heard the doctor went inside his room. You stood up along with your mother and Satoru's father, you frowned when you saw the doctor's face.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gojo, I know this is a very hard time for you but this is the time that we ask you about his health care directives— you should decide to take him to long-term care facilities or take him off the ventilator-"

"What?" you said, "No. We're not taking him off. We aren't pulling the plug or anything. He's going to wake up."

It was automatic that you felt scared when you heard them say that. There's no way that you are giving up. You wouldn't give up on him because you know that if you are the one on his shoes, he wouldn't give up on you too.

"Honey. They're just saying our choices." your mother calmed you.

You sighed and sat back down to the chair beside his bed and held his hand. "Satoru, get your stupid ass up."

Your tears fell one by one as you rest your forehead on his bed while you hold his hand.

This is so unfair, you cannot lose him.

He can't do this to you.

You pulled your head up when you felt him squeeze your hand, it wasn't strong but you felt it. "Satoru?"

"Hey." Your eyes widen as your lips formed a wide smile, he cleared his throat and slowly opened his eyes, "My stupid ass is up."

...

"The food here is shit." Satoru whispered to you causing for you to chuckle. "Why would they give us this shit?"

You snorted, "You have no choice because this shitty food is only the one you could eat."

You were so happy. After weeks, you never lost hope that Satoru would wake up and he did. He was so energetic and talkative like he was before.

You would talk and laugh with him like the usual thing you both did.

"Tell me what you want to eat and I'll buy you that once you're allowed to eat something from outside." you said.

Satoru hummed as he thought about it carefully, "Anything sweet will do."

You assented, "Okay. I will get you all of it."

You get what you both wanted to do, to fall asleep in each other's arm and now he doesn't need to sneak out or something. It's just a bit unfortunate that it had to be in a hospital bed but at least you two were together.

You looked at him as you play with his hair, you both are turned to your side— facing each other.

"Okay, I've reached a decision." you tell him.

"Hmm?"

"Three. But that's it. No more."

Satoru pouted, "You really won't consider five?"

"I told you my uterus isn't a baby factory!"

Satoru chuckled and tightened his arm on your waist, "Okay. Fine. You win."

"Okay. There's no take-backs. I win. Three it is." You said as you giggle but then your brows furrowed when you noticed how pale he looked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You're here. I'm alright." he mumbled. "I'm more than alright."

"Are you sure? I'll call a doctor-"

"No. Just stay here, okay? I need you here." you nodded but you were really getting worried. He looked like his energy was being sucked slowly out of him, you can feel his hold on you gets detached slowly.

"Satoru, please. Just let me call-"

He cupped your cheeks and gave you a faint smile. "You know I love you so much. So much."

You bit your lip, your eyes are welling up and you don't like any of this. You aren't getting a good feeling about this.

"I know that." You closed your eyes and pressed your lips into his. "You know I do too. I love you so much."

He just hummed. "I know, baby."

"Satoru." you said his name, "Don't… please."

"I'm getting tired. Can I close my eyes?"

Is this what they say? The calm before the storm? The surge before death?

Is this it?

He was fine. He woke up and he laughed with you, he was making his usual stupid jokes.

Your tears began to fall. You pulled him close to you and laid his head on your arms as you plant a kiss on his hair, "Alright.. you can rest."

"You aren't him." you repeated, "I know because he died right here in my arms. So, it's impossible because the man that who loves me is already dead."

Maybe it's time that you let go. You are in a dream that was designed for you to get hurt and in order for you to wake up, you have to accept that Satoru's gone.

You know that this dream was made for you to see that you should lose hope because Satoru would never come back.

He wouldn't come back to you.

No matter what.

He wouldn't.

Satoru smiled at you, he walked towards you and held your face. "It's time for you to wake up."

You smiled and you nodded, it's time for you to start accepting that he's gone.

He leaned his face closer to yours— you both closed your eyes and he pressed his lips on yours.

You opened your eyes.

You are back on your bed, you looked around and you saw the unbearable surroundings. You stared at the ceiling.

So, it was all a dream. He didn't come back and you didn't travel two years back. You knew it, Satoru would never hurt you like that. He wouldn't love anyone beside you so you knew it was a dream.

You can hear that continuous sound but you closed your eyes and just held him close to you. The nurses and the doctors rushed inside but they stopped when they saw you.

They turned off the monitor so that you can have peace with him.

You felt someone touch your back, you turned your head and saw your mother and his father, "He's not going to wake up now, is he?"

"I'm sorry, honey."

You just closed your eyes and caressed his soft ivory hair. They left you alone as you hold Satoru close to you.

"It's okay." you whispered, "I'm here, Satoru. You can rest all you want and I'll just hold you."

It was faint but you could hear them say it, that's when you let out your tumultuous cries because it felt real.

Satoru is gone and he wouldn't come back.

"Time of death, 23:45."

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

[kiiruna-aa]

    natanel just kept staring. he stared at the apartment, it's every line of wood, every wall, every window, every possibility which resided under the uneven ceiling. he stared through the oven window, watching the cheese on top of the pizza start to bubble. right now, that was the only thing filling the apartment besides stacks of moving boxes along the walls, a couch and shelves taken apart to their ikea-stage. it was just enough for the summer evening's sun to reach through to them, casting almost no shadow on the aluminium floor. every piece of dust flying through the air was exposed to his eye, floating like fairy-dust through this extraordinarily quiet piece of... home. the smell of pizza was really the only thing which filled the rather cold air.

    in the bedroom he could hear andreas trying to assemble the bed. natanel would normally have helped, but he had managed to convince andreas that they would do their separate tasks, as if dinner simply placed in the over would turn out perfect faster if he was focused. he might just have appeared lazy, but lined up on the blank spaces on top of the kitchen counters laid a few colorful, birthday-candles, and one of the smoker's many, many lighters.

    a moving day was already very much out of the ordinary. to manage some sort of birthday celebration in the middle of it... natanael hadn't been able to come up with anything good. he'd only ever had female friends, and they had always fixed their own birthday parties and it was only for him to get them something funny and attend. now; not only did he have a boyfriend, but said boyfriend was very specific on not wanting anything at all. atte's brain always had a blackout when he wanted to impress. he could think until his brain turned to sawdust from the effort and have nothing but said dust to offer when the day was gone. this felt pathetic. especially after the loss yesterday... everything the half-swede wanted was to see his eriksen smile.

    taking the pizza out of the oven ( with an improvised towel ), the skiier could feel his stomach twist and turn inside his body, making a high-pitched whine. for sure it wasn't his own favorite pizza, it was andreas', but pizza was pizza, and after moving boxes and furniture almost the whole day, he had spent more energy than he had at the bank. with sore legs and arms, and an empty stomach, this would appear to be the tastiest thing he had ever eaten for sure.

    he managed to press the candles down into the pizza. they couldn't be lit for a long time, or the stearine was sure to give their food an extra inedible twist, but he took up his lighter and spun it like a spinner between his fingers. “ ~ andreas, babe, are you ready to eat? “ he called. his voice felt so foreign in this empty space. it wasn't quite large enough to create an echo, and yet it sounded different than it had in his cramped student space, he was sure of that. it gave him excited goosebumps.     hearing an affirmative response from the other room, natanael was quick to light his little flame; a chain reaction over ten colorful candles across the cheesy surface, still emitting ecstatic fumes of warmth onto the air. his feet then scurried across the floor, almost completely silent; noise muffled from his fluffy socks. he met his lover by the bedroom door, taking a hold of both his hands and leading him out into the big living area with a huge, loving grin. he tried not to to be too captivated by the blond giant in front of him until his mission was complete. thus, in a deep breath, he started to sing.

    “ hurra for deg som fyller ditt år! ja, deg vil jeg gratulere! i ring omkring deg jeg står! og se, nå vil jeg marsjere, bukke, nikke, neie, snu meg omkring, danse for deg med hopp og sprett og spring! ønske deg av hjertet alle gode ting! og si meg så, hva vil du mere? gratulere~! “     his voice was weak and his singing far from the greatest. his tunes were wobbly and he tried to make up for it by swinging and half-dancing when he lead the hockey player through the room, to his candles. it was embarrassing, but it also made him happy. his heart quickly started to race. he really was so, so glad that this man was born. he was the luckiest in the world, to be blessed enough to meet him, one fateful day on a moving train. the day two fates became one. if only he could go back and tell his old self that day ' that's the man of your life ', he'd offer his only chance to time travel to tell himself that. to know when he sat there, their legs barely even touching, that one day they would move in together, only to be able to spend every single night in each other's arms... yes, it made him ecstatic to even fantasize.

happy birthday andreas eriksen ! 

[discountskeppy]

alright alright srry for the random ask BUT i came up with a kinda stupid au i shall now pester u with

so, dream is a god, and he creates the smp. he also has people he considers family as other deities around the server. george is the moon and sapnap is the sun, stuff like that.

bad and skeppy, are basically one and the same. bad is life and skeppy is death, but their jobs switch very often that they're usually considered both life and death at once. bad is also protector of the nether and skeppy is protector of gemstones, but their main jobs are life and death.

i like to think how skeppy and techno met was on smpearth. techno does his whole kill people and make the antarctic empire thing. philza is an angel of some sort sent by the happyduo to keep an eye on him, just in case. one day, phil can't make it so skeppy himself goes. he meets techno, and techno immediately starts bickering with him, teasing him, classic techno things. i feel like it goes smth like this

skeppy: i am life and death. i could be ur greatest weapon should u ally yourself with me. i have brought thousands to their graves. the one u befriended is one of My own. we have watched u slaughter many, technoblade. i have escorted their souls, and they weep at the prospect of ur victory.

techno: haha noob

ok but i love that sm omg. a deitie au... thats actually legit so cool. does dream like assign ppl their powers? or are skeppy and bad just like universe assigned besties with their life and death stuff? either way i luv that dynamic. also GOD i love the image of techno calling the god of death a noob. that is so brilliant and so in character for him. once again, UR MIND!!!