#i love thirteen she’s a great doctor but so many of her episodes were just flat and boring and at worst. preachy

[gotyouanyway]

i keep thinking i should rewatch thirteen’s era at least once but man. i just did not fucking like it 😭

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Saw a post earlier on basically saying that Donna was better than Clara (and therefore RTD better than Moffat) because she just instantly accepted the new Doctor whereas Clara didn't and it annoyed me such much because the situation are not comparable, and because I am just so sick and tired of people judging Clara for having a very real, very emotional, very flawed and human reaction to regeneration.

Clara knew about regeneration and had even met some past Doctors, but they were all nice, friendly, and praised her, and Clara loves to be praised (one of the many ways she's like that the Doctor), but her Doctor was always still there. He never went away. The he regenerated and quick as a sneeze he was gone and there was this stranger standing there, but he wasn't like the other Doctors she'd met, he was harsh, rude, angry, aggressively Scottish, criticised her (a big Clara no-no), and confused her with a potato. He was not in any way the Doctor she was used to, and she took that badly and had a very human reaction where she wished things could go back to the way they were before, that she could have her Doctor back. Like many going through a difficult time she longed to go back to when things were easy.

Now, to say this situation is like for like with what Donna experienced in The Giggle is just absurd. Donna didn't lose her Doctor, he was still there, he never went away, and the new Doctor was all charm, confidence, smiles and great legs. He wasn't being rude and confusing her with Mel because they're both ginger. So yeah, Donna was okay with all this because she didn't lose her Doctor and get and less friendly one in exchange.

The change from Eleven to Twelve was difficult for Clara, it wasn't meant to be a good experience, it was intentionally meant to show of regeneration isn't a pleasant experience for the Doctor or companion. Clara didn't react with calm rationality just because she knew regeneration was a thing, she reacted like a regular person would if they suddenly lost a dear friend and then had to share a flat with an prickly Glaswegian. And let's be real here, if Donna had been in 'Deep Breath' we would've been on Thirteen by the end of the episode.

[13docwriting]

NOTE: this post was made on November 26th, 2023, before the 60th specials aired. I wasn't going to post it but due to the recent episodes, I feel it really fits. It's me, more than a year after the Power of the Doctor! As time moves on and more spoilers / interviews / trailers / content comes out for the 60th (and then some), my already limited hope continues to dwindle for human kindness. Why? Here's my twenty page essay down below! (I'm not kidding, it's 20 pages)

The Thirteenth Doctor has been a life changer for me, as many could tell from my username. Chibnall's series came to me in the midst of the pandemic and a very hard time in my life. Ironically, my motivation for watching DW once again after more than a four year hiatus of the show was actually the idea of the Doctor being a woman. My reason to stay, however, was the stories we received. I've lived through the Chibnall and Jodie bashing on this hell-site in real time. I've read downright nasty comments on any/all of Doctor Who's social media posts about thirteen's series. I've seen people call each other horrible names for simply liking one of the Thirteenth Doctor's episodes... And now, as her series has ended a year ago, I'm even more saddened to see her era get pushed to the side as if to be forgotten. Nobody came at me with the whole "it's not because of Chibnall/Jodie's era! DW just needed a reboot!" I would have agreed! I would have agreed that a fresh coat of paint would have helped DW gain some more traction, especially in the states! The more people who watch DW, the better! But the change RTD is presenting and the continued changes come at the cost of dealing with bullies online and defending something I love with all my heart.

I'd like to remind everyone that Chris Chibnall did not just barge his way into Doctor Who. He has written episodes for DW for a while before he took over as showrunner. Tenth Doctor: 42 Eleventh Doctor: The Hunger Earth, Cold Blood, Pond Life, Dinosaurs in a Spaceship, the Power of Three. Recognize some of those titles? Yeah, even when I was a wee lass, those were some of the best episodes DW had ever done. "42" scared the crap out of me in the best way, "Dinosaurs in Spaceship" had me smiling ear to ear, etc. etc.

Don't just take my word for it, read some of the reviews for those episodes. They are highly positive if not still mid-range.

That being said, I have a hard time believing that every single one of Jodie's episodes have been awful. And, if not outright stated as awful, certainly below every single nuwho Doctor.

Was there some not-so-great episodes? Yeah, of course! But every Doctor has had some questionable episodes. With a show that has a new plot nearly every episode, you're going to have some misses! My point being... Chibnall CAN write good episodes and, with that being said... Why HAS Thirteen's era been considered one of the worsts? Well, I think it's because, as always, people hate change. We've just come off of Twelve's era which was rooted in deep and meaningful conversations with a underlying of, dare I say it, Time Lord Victorious. Twelve holds a special place in my heart for the amount of care he showed through his era. From the Twelve's darkest moments, Thirteen is born. Thirteen is a ray of sunshine that holds hope in the palm of her hand. She's happy, bubbly, and ready to smile. She wants the universe and everything it has to offer and she's ready to travel the stars again.

Chibnall introduces a series of stories that are rooted in that hope. There's kindness at every turn, there's compassion, there's empathy... Is that the reason people hate her era? No. A new Doctor has never stopped anyone from getting back into the show. So, it's the writing, you say? I have one thing to say to that: Prove it. Point me in the direction of bad writing without ONCE mentioning the word "woke". If you found Jodie's era to be preachy, perhaps there's a reason that you take offense to it. DW has always been a progressive show and it will forever stay that way. And I am the first one to admit that, again, there are weak episodes. There IS some bad writing, but the hate that Jodie's ENTIRE era gets, I feel, is unjustified. So, if not writing, must be the acting! Where? When? I had no problem watching Jodie Whittaker be the Doctor. She's quirky and fun and eccentric... She has a thousand different emotions on her face at one time. Any actor that knows how much a smile can hide is a talented one. Besides that, her work on Broadchurch and her newer works (One Night, Time) have some raving reviews. She clearly has talent. So, not the acting or writing... Companions, then? Why? "The fam" had all of their moments to shine. I won't say their character arcs were perfect, especially for Ryan and Graham, but they did have their own arcs. Was it the fact that there were three totally separate companions at once? Was it just too big a job? I can't answer that one. I personally felt that they all got a good ending, one that makes sense and that isn't tragic for the sake of tragedy. This my be my opinion piece, but I liked having multiple companions that had their own little storyline, but that's MY opinion and I'm fine with someone calling me out on that. Let's go really basic... It's because the Doctor isn't meant to be woman, right? Oh, so, the Master can be a woman and that's totally fine, but when it's the Doctor... Woman can be villains but they can't be the main protagonist, right? I didn't see people up and arms over Missy, why was Thirteen so different? I remember seeing her very first introduction trailer and having people immediately be upset by the gender change. Well, forget my opinions, let's look at the statistics and viewings numbers, right?

HOW ABOUT NO. Remember the writing strike that just ended? Remember how regular cable has been nearly done with? Remember how writers are fighting to earn something for streaming services? We can't rely on normal/live views while a literal pandemic was happening, while streaming has become the norm, while watching online for free has existed for so long... Views have CHANGED. The way people consume media has changed, especially during the pandemic. Now, for an excuse... The pandemic happened. It changed how people were filming, it changed how close people could get to one another in terms of acting, it changed filming times and locations. I can't confirm, but I know that the Flux storyline was cut by two whole episodes, which could be the reason a lot of people felt disappointed by the end of the Flux. Chibnall and Thirteen's era had so many real-life obstacles to overcome that past era's did not have to deal with.

I'm tired, alright? I'm tired of defending my love for a character. And to have that love be spat out in the form of a different writer by.... 1. Discarding the Thirteenth Doctor's iconic outfit after a regeneration for the first time ever (under the guise of calling it "drag" if Tennant was to wear her outfit even after a male co-star had just worn it.) 2. Introducing a very popular Doctor back into the show ("to gain views") 3. Doing a soft reboot by calling the new season "season 1" (could be Disney's fault, but I'm not entirely sure of that fact) Every day I read another article about how RTD is "saving" Doctor who when I myself have been saved by the Doctor already. I didn't ever need to justify my love of a character until today.

[clockworkouroboros]

Now that the 60th anniversary specials are all out, I guess I'm gonna share my thoughts about them all, because it's the internet or whatever. Overall, I do think there's a lot of good in these specials. The fan service is absolutely there, but it's been done in a different way than some of the past special episodes, and it really acknowledges I think the many different kinds of Doctor Who fans, from the people who just watch the revived series (or even just bits and pieces of the revived series) to fans of Classic Who and even those of us crazy enough to get into the extended universe. I mean, featuring Beep the Meep and the Toymaker as your two Big Villains is both ridiculous and speaks to the nature of Doctor Who fans that we were all so excited for them. So. A lot of really nice things about these specials all around.

In The Star Beast, we got a really nice blend of nostalgia for the original Tennant era with new, interesting characters and a healthy amount of fan service towards Beep the Meep's half a dozen fans. Between those three things and RTD's obvious love letter to and heartfelt (if perhaps a little clunky) support of queer (and especially trans) people, it's easy to look past the episode's flaws; namely, that it's very light on the plot, and the handwavey bullshit that retcons Donna losing her memories completely undercuts the emotional heavy hitting of Donna losing her memories. You mean it was *always* that easy? Fuck right off.

Wild Blue Yonder really brought in, for me, more than a hint of Wilderness Years Who. The bottle episode slightly claustrophobic feel, the terrifying unexplainable Not-Things, the goddamn salt—I thought this story was the strongest in the set. I think RTD, like many writers, has a tendency to try and make things bigger and bigger and bigger, when really, his best stories tend to be like this. Consider Midnight as another example—brilliant, terrifying, and also very similar to some of the more experimental stories of the wilderness years. If I had a complaint about this story, it's that I would want it to play into more of the sense of sensory deprivation that stories like Midnight and Scherzo did. But honestly, that's a nitpick. It infuriates me a little bit—RTD likes to go in for some spectacle, as seen in The Star Beast and especially in The Giggle (and also the s3 and s4 finales, and also DT's regeneration story, and also and also and also)—but some of his best work is done when he doesn't allow himself the spectacle and instead really pares everything down to the barest of bare bones.

And, honestly? The Giggle was a bit of a letdown. There are so many ways you could bring the Toymaker into Who again, and he ended up sort of being an afterthought. Neil Patrick Harris was obviously having a grand old time in the role, which is great—so why not give him a little more to chew on? I thought there was a lot that was great—Donna and the Doctor in the Toymaker's domain, as an example. I think, building off of Wild Blue Yonder, coming back again and again to just how much the Doctor has been through and how that has affected them, was also a really nice thing to include, and something that I wish had been brought up more during Thirteen's run, because she really went through it.

But that also brings me to my biggest issue with The Giggle, and that is the way David Tennant's Doctor (Fourteen? TenThree? TenTeen?) has been written in a way that still is overshadowing Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor. This was honestly one of my biggest concerns as soon as Tennant's return was announced, and one of RTD's past issues in Who has been his chronic overshadowing of characters of color in favor of a white fan favorite. (Martha and Mickey both get this treatment.) The regeneration scene pissed me off in a way that I didn't think Doctor Who could piss me off—generally speaking, I'm pretty level-headed about most Doctor Who things because this show is ridiculous enough that you sort of have to just roll with it. I already adore Ncuti's Doctor (from his extremely limited amount of screentime), but I can't help but feel that he's been cheated out of a proper introduction because he had to share his limited screentime with David Tennant, the most popular Doctor to ever exist in the show's 60-year history. Likewise, because of this ridiculous Journey's End 2: This Time It's Stupider nonsense, I'm genuinely concerned RTD will randomly bring DT back for some fun multi-Doctor fanwanks, and sort of write all over the first Doctor of color's era with David Tennant. Not that that will happen (I certainly hope not, anyway), but the fact that he's leaving it open as an option already has me worried.

So. Yeah. Maybe I'm being harsher on RTD than I would otherwise be, because the nostalgia for having him back is so ridiculously high that it's driving me a little insane, or maybe these are genuine issues. I'm not upset that he's back, but these specials—and especially The Giggle—left me extremely wary that we're going to get the same exact issues that he brought to Who in his first run. Overall it'll be fine, and again, I did get a lot of enjoyment out of these specials! There's a lot about RTD's writing that is objectively both good and consistent. That doesn't mean I'm not holding my breath going forward.

[13thdoctorposts]

Oh my goodness, thank you for that post. I was losing my mind seeing the excuses people were cooking up. Now they're all about the writing being better and loving the discussion, like (a) the writing is just vagueries that never explain or resolve anything and it's hit upon multiple damaging stereotypes on adoption and race because there's no black writers or adoptees at the helm, not to mention how many times RTD has already released those weird behind the scenes videos explaining things which is just embarrassing and weirdly egotistic, (b) it's not great that there's so much discussion because RTD is using ~~magic~~ as a handwave explanation or that people lack the awareness to acknowledge the lack of discussion before was because they bullied anyone remotely interesting in actually engaging with Thirteen's series of the show and aggressively took over discussions and filled them with their shittakes.

Seems they still have a lot of shittakes to be honest.

All the 'Sins' they claimed made Chibs a terrible writer... plot holes, leaving things ambiguous, too much exposition, things not making sense, bad representation... if these are the things that make a writer bad then how is RTD a master writer because every episode so far has had these things along with stereotyping issues. I'm sorry but you can't just say 'oh magic, that makes those things ok' thats hypocritical because if Chibs claimed 'magic' they would have ripped him to shreds for that.

Could you imagine if Chibs made an episode with a bunch of set up and no answers that both created a time paradox at the end and essentially didn't happen to the character in the end rendering it unimportant to the characters and show? How what would have gone down? Could you imagine is 73 Yards had Chibs name on it instead of RTDs? Below were just some of the questions I had off the top of my head. This episode is being hail as one of the best in years... imagine if those same people had this many questions after a Chibs episode, the dude would have had to been put into the witness protection program.

I'm not claiming the episode is bad, I'm just highlighting the hypocrisy.

Who made the circle?

How did that person know about the future to make the circle? 

Did they know that the Doc and Ruby were going to land there and so deliberately put it there because why was in that location?

Why was there a circle in 2024? (When Mad Jack is PM 22 years later)

Why was it 73 yards? 

Where did the Doctor go? All of them not just 15 because they are time travellers so all the other Doctors also existed through those years, so why didn’t they show up/do anything, or did they all just disappear leaving all their companions wherever they were? 

Why were the people at the pub so horrible?

Why were there 2 older women who are supposedly meant to be Ruby played by different actresses, because that makes you wonder is it actually Ruby who's been 73 yards away?

Why if it is older Ruby did she scare everyone off? Like why did she want herself to be alone, why did the younger version of her have to be alone and abandoned by everyone what purpose does it serve? 

How did older Ruby (73 yards version) manage to get closer than 73 yards when older Ruby (in her bed) was dying (I’m assuming she was dying)?

Was older supposed older Ruby gesturing to her the same message throughout the years after the Doctor disappeared that she was telling to tell younger Ruby to tell the Doc not step on the circle so Ruby would understand it to close what I’m assuming is a time loop? I can't be sure were weren't told it was a time loop and that would be sci-fi not folklore magic.

Was stopping the nuclear bombing the purpose of all this because the woman remained 73 yards away for the next 40 years after that why? To tell Younger Ruby to tell the Doctor not to stand on the circle so she wouldn’t live through all that and so wouldn’t stop the nuclear bomb stuff?

How did supposed older ruby get telepathy to say don’t step on the circle?

Doesn’t stopping the Doctor from stepping on the circle create a time paradox, because if he doesn’t step on it Ruby doesn’t have that experience and so she never tells him not to step on it?

What is the lady saying to everyone to scare them off? And it must be some kind of magic she’s doing because a mother isn’t just going to abandon their child so how did supposed older Ruby acquire the magic to do that?

Also how did she time travel back to stand on the hill just to give her younger self a telepathic message?

Since she doesn’t live that life that means she never stops the Nuclear bomb PM so theres really no point to having gone through all that, since we’re getting Nuked by him now because Ruby doesn’t live that life.

Why did Ruby’s grandmother Cherry never talk to her again? that woman seems like she would have slapped Carla for kicking Ruby out of their lives considering she didn’t talk to the lady so wouldn’t have been affected by her.

Where were all Ruby’s friends from the first episode?

Ruby knew everything started with the circle, why did she never go back to Wales and find people who specialised in folklore stuff and seek their help? If goblins exist, if curses exist then you can assume witches or magic people do why wouldn’t you try and find them?

I haven’t watched unleashed but supposedly RTD says Ruby had to pay a penance and do good, I.e stopping Nuclear bomb PM I guess for the Doc standing on the circle… Why would Ruby have to pay a life penance for the Doc stepping on the circle? You shouldn’t go to jail for someone else’s crime. Also he disappears, is that his penance and hers is living that life for reading the paper? who knows?

And a real world question since you only have 8 episodes why would you spend one where you have to spend the whole episode with the companion (because Ncuti was still tied up with Sex Ed) to create an episode that doesn’t actually effected the companion at all because it seems shes forgotten the whole thing at the end. Make an episode that dives deeper into the companions character that we dont usually get because we dont normally get a whole episode with just them, she should have come out of this episode changed somewhat for the better. 

If this episode was to show her abandonment issues… the girl was left on a church door step, and the Doc said she couldn't see her biological mum from that night so we already know she's going to have abandonment issues.

People are like oh its meant to be all open... this much should never be left open and if Chibs did it, it wouldn't be hailed a one of the best episodes in years it would be hailed as a failure of writing.

It's the hypocrisy that annoys me because yes you can still enjoy this episode not getting any of these answers, it can still be your fav of the season but you can't claim RTD is a good writer and Chibs a bad one when RTD in this episode alone went above and beyond in doing all the things you claimed made Chibs a bad writer. Honestly I hope Chibs from here on out has the best life because he deserves it after all the horrible things that have been thrown in his direction.

[thewanderingace]

I have finally watched The Flux!!

God it took me ages to get through Thirteen's episodes. Some were good but overall I was bored a lot so it took me ages to get through season 11 and 12. But I just watched the last episode of the Flux tonight and now I'm going to randomly share my disconnected thoughts about it on this post.

Okay so overall I think I enjoyed this season! Which surprised me. I was so prepared to hate it after all the hate for the Flux I've seen on Tumblr or be super bored like I am with a lot of Chibnall's episodes but while it isn't my favorite thing I do think it was 13's best season. I didn't think I'd enjoy the Flux if I'm honest. Everything I read about it sounded dumb or confusing and yeah I'm still a bit confused by some stuff that was just not addressed but this isn't the first time the whole universe (or massive parts of it) have been wiped out so it's not exactly a new concept for the Doctor. But the connection with her and her past is new and I'm intrigued by it if I'm honest. And it gave Jodie some great stuff to work with. She was so good in this season. Way better than the previous two seasons just because she had a lot more to work with writing wise.

The individual plots for each episode are really good and kept my attention. I've loved the plot of the Sontarans waging war through time, the Lupari and their species bond with humanity, the whole thing with the Mouri, Swarm and Azure were cool villains, the star crossed lovers Vinder and Bel trying to find each other, the Weeping Angels taking a whole village, Dan and Yaz living 3 years in the early 1900s and doing Indiana Jones type of stuff. I even enjoyed the Division and the Flux plot.

Now while I overall liked all that, I still feel unsatisfied because there were a lot of potentially great stories but they were all crammed together into 6 episodes and none of them had time to be fleshed out properly and some of them didn't connect well and trying to follow it all was SO HARD. There's so much going on and so many seemingly unrelated plots happening all at once that it's so hard to keep track of. And I'm watching all these episodes back to back immediately after one another. I can't even imagine trying to keep up when this aired one a week. I'd be lost. I think this would have been amazing if they had gotten a full season and didn't have to cram it all into just 6 episodes. (this is why I'm worried about the new season coming which is only gonna have 8 episodes. DW needs more than 8 episodes)

I adore Dan by the way. I loved him from his first scene and every second after has just been lovely. He's super sweet and I love his accent and that he's apparently so selfless that he'd rather give all his food to others than have any for himself. He's taking all this alien stuff so well too. He just got kidnapped by a giant dog and hasn't had a moments break since but he's cool. I like him best out of all of 13's companions so far. Too bad he barely had any episodes. That's a shame. Looking forward to watching these last 3 episodes with him though.

Vinder and Bel? I LOVE THEM BOTH!!!!! Talk about star crossed lovers! I'd watch a whole show just about those two.

Dan and Yaz living for three years in the early 1900s?? I WANT TO LEARN MORE!!!! How did they get out of the village that was surrounded by space? Why was it surrounded by space? Dan as the stowaway is hilarious and has to sleep under the bed in the ship XD.

Chibnall throwing every recurring species he can think of was nuts but in a fun way. Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen, Ood, Weeping Angels, etc.

Kinda lame that Tecteun was just taken out so easily. I wanted the Doctor to do it in a very Doctor way. Like what 10 did to the Family of Blood ya know?

And that's all I got for now. 3 more episodes to go for 13's run!

[theskyexists]

The Church on Ruby Road

So I watched the first episode. RTD is a good writer. He's simply. A good writer. He puts in pieces, the pieces come together, they make sense and emotional sense.

It was very silly. I loved his classic tricks for the Doctor. Implying he's a bit more magic if you just meet him. Because he knew. He knew the glass was going to fall. Knowing the police officer's gf is going to say yes, knowing the guys going to propose at all. TIME LORD. He just shows up - he's somehow there every time.

Disdain for other time travellers. Nice. Near Instant understanding of new technologies (because he's an alien genius scientist what have you - god how I HATED the absence of that in chibs' work, the reversal of that! For the female doctor!!!!) Rope language. Very cool little worldbuilding.

The CRAZY goblin stuff lol. They looked enormously good. And the song! Lol

The setup for the gloves, Chekhov's gloves. Pieces come together.

And the whole episode about A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS THEME time story - how much worse would the world be without you in it? Alternate history. A wonderful companion introduction. And a great embedding in family. I always love RTD for that. The mundane is fully fleshed out.

Gatwa did a GREAT classic Doctor. The running through corridors, the joy at the weirdness of the world even if it wants to kill you, the crying. God I LOVE that RTD is going with the timeless child - I LOVE what he's doing with it. It's such a great idea and he's doing it justice - he's themed the companion around it - he's built in a mystery to the companion which reflects the Doctor's. And a moment which emphasises that the Doctor COULD find out about Ruby's mother - but doesn't...

Wonderful grandma running gag tea joke. Not killing the goblins but destroying them... Probably. Always an interesting ambiguity there from RTD I think - which sometimes turns into explicit hypocrisy

The companion I think is.... Generic. I mean the acting is generic the dynamic is generic. About Amy level for me personally. I really really loved it when they were bickering - that's when they really had a spark, and when Ruby got some oomf. The one braincell improvising between them also lol

Great climactic suspense,great foreshadowed solution, great emotional moment when the Doctor puts her bacK . GREAT emotional moment when we see how Carla and her mum are doing without her. So many lives... Really loved the moment when the coincidences keep mounting and thunder keeps cracking also.

I really hope Ruby wins me over because she hasn't quite yet. she's just so... Idk generic British girl I guess. The pacing was a bit weird at times... And their first meeting didn't quite do it for me...idk. but they got better

It's interesting, I did miss thirteen era a bit. There was something very... Hmmm. Close. To it. And I don't mean the shots.. very raw somehow. While this is very much a NARRATIVE. Trade-offs i guess

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.  

S7E2 is Dinosaurs on a Spaceship and I actually really liked it.

It’s been 10 months for the Ponds not to mention all the other episodes it’s been mentioned that plenty of time passes for them before they see the Doctor again. I could have never imagined Nine or Ten being willing to let so much of their companions lives pass them by, it’s very fascinating that they aren’t full time honestly and it’s a very selfless gesture on the Doctor’s part when it’s obvious it’s difficult for him. The conversation referring to Amy’s death seemed very reminiscent of the one with Rose in School Reunion, it’s always sad to see the Doctor having to be reminded of that. 

I know Chris Chibnall was the showrunner for Thirteen, and that she has many companions at the same time so it was interesting to see he’d already tested out that concept here. I liked that the others were people from different time periods, but I feel like taking Queen Nefertiti is reckless of the Doctor-- she’s an important historical figure! Chibnall and Moffat have both done so or at least Moffat wanted to take Reinette traveling, what if they die before accomplishing what they’re supposed to? 

I loved Brian and I desperately wish we’d seen more of the Ponds families in S5 and S6. Rory’s interactions with him were really nice to see, Brian was very helpful in his own way, he had his own arc in just one episode and him eating his sandwich was the most precious thing I’ve seen. 

This is the best Amy’s been written tbh I loved that she had her own companions and that she’s such a seasoned companion she can comfortably assume the role of the Doctor. I just wish she’d gotten to do more but there were far too many people, this would have been a good two-parter to flesh everyone out more. 

Solomon was a great villain too, super slimy and horrible, and very dark that the Doctor let him die I didn’t think he would actually. I have to admit the plotline was absolutely ridiculous but I also found this episode to be fun so I suppose there’s a point for Chibnall haha. Personally I thought there were some really great lines in this one especially for Eleven and the robots so I’m tentatively optimistic I’ll like Chibnall’s era when it comes. 

[badxwolf]

Doctor Who and Fallout (The Show) which i haven’t seen (don’t have Amazon) but it fits and I wanna hear your thoughts (and I love Kyle MacLaughlin and Matt Berry)

Omg yayy! :) Ok ok (this is a long post)

Doctor Who!!

My favourite female character: Ik this is super surprising and will shock absolutely everyone but I actually love Rose Tyler sooo much!!

For real though she is my favourite character of any media ever, to me she is joy and compassion and bravery and all things good. I adore her <3

My favourite male character: The Ninth Doctor! I’ve already said how much he means to me many times but he makes me feel so safe I love him :)

My favourite book/season/etc: Series 1 is my go to comfort series but series 10 is a close second it’s so good and I love Bill Potts!!!

My favourite episode (if it’s a tv show): Rose! It is the one I rewatch the most <3 but other favs are Boom Town, The Long Game, School Reunion, The Beast Below and The Pilot :)

My favourite cast member: Don’t make me choose between Billie Piper and Christopher Eccleston I will explode into one billion pieces

My favourite ship: Doctor x Rose <3<3 (NineRose and ThirteenRose especially!)

A character l'd die defending: 😬 <- me holding myself back from saying words when someone says they think Rose is annoying (happens way too often irl) also I will defend Thirteen til my dying day!

A character I just can't sympathize with: Idk I can’t think of anyone other than the obvious villains so I’ll just say the “eat my salad” guy from The Woman Who Fell To Earth what was his deal

A character I grew to love: River. I don’t know that I love her but I’ve grown to appreciate the tragedy of her arc especially on my latest rewatch and Alex Kingston is so fun in that role

My anti otp: I don’t really have opinions on ships outside of DoctorRose so idk? Fuck Jimmy Stone I guess.

Fallout!! I will be more vague so as not to spoil it for you :)

My favourite female character: Lucy ofc!! She’s such a great protagonist and she reminds me a lot of my Sole Survivor :)

My favourite male character: I’m gonna be honest I was mainly focused on Lucy but I also liked Wilzig!

My favourite episode: Ep 1 (The End) solely for the opening scene. Genuinely incredible television, it completely took my breath away and I knew from the moment I saw it the show would be brilliant!

My favourite cast member: Ella Purnell!! From the interviews I’ve watched with her she’s so sweet and funny and also she is so gorgeous omg

My favourite ship: I don’t really have one? Lucy and Maximus are cute ig. Lucy x Myself tbh <3

A character I’d die defending: I haven’t really seen much discourse so I’ll just say I would die for CX404/Dogmeat

A character I just can’t sympathize with: Aside from obvious baddies I don’t really have one. I don’t like the Brotherhood but I like Maximus so I hope he gets outta there

A character I grew to love: The Ghoul! I was not immediately enamoured by him from the first images we got like so many people were but he is a really great character and I’m probably most excited to see more of his story in season 2! I love that they use him to show us more of the pre-war world.

My anti otp: I know so many people like them together but I really don’t like Lucy x The Ghoul I’m sorry!!! I think Ella and Walton have great chemistry and their dynamic is very compelling but the idea of them being a couple squicks me out after everything he does to her :(

[johannesviii]

So uh

The Power of the Doctor surely was one of the episodes of all time

Where do I even fucking start

Let's cut to the chase, narratively it was all over the place in a "let's throw everything at the wall to see what sticks" kind of way. The thing is, it was fun. It made no sense but it was still enjoyable. Why was the Master cosplaying Rasputin? Why 1916? What was the point of the Dalek traitor? Why the paintings? Who cares, I'm having the time of my life watching all this shit 7,5/10

Why Tegan and Ace, for that matter? Because it's fun to see them again, that's why. I'll take it. Tegan was especially great. Also Ace wasn't a CEO so bonus points for that

Why was Graham even here

Why the train

Why the Qurunx

Why the uh everything about the Daleks and the Cybermen and no-one getting betrayed or in-fighting in the process

Why do I care

Dan's arc started with him having no money and ends with him having no house. That's kinda bleak for a comic relief companion

I don't know how to feel about Tennant being the Doctor again? It's weird and interesting and I can't wait to see what they do with this, and I find it supremely ironic that the Doctor who was the most terrified of death is the one who will get to die THREE TIMES in this series - but at the same time, I really wanted to see Ncuti Gatwa and I feel like he's been robbed of his thunder, kind of? I don't know, it feels weird

Considering Chibnall's focus isn't usually on character arcs I wasn't expecting Thirteen's ending to have any kind of dramatic irony, but having very low expectations for this specific era was a blessing, because one of the things I desesperately wanted to see was this control freak of a Doctor, who never explains anything to her friends, being forced to rely entirely on her friends, and also completely losing control. And that's exactly what I got here. Yes. Very good

The Qurunx assuming the form of a child because it wants to be protected. The parallels with the Timeless Child. Exquisite

And that bit where she's hit by a deadly energy blast and she's carried back to the TARDIS like this?? Complete inversion of the trope of the Doctor carrying a companion and I loved it

Oh god look at Yaz. Yeah that's right, you can only hold her while she's literally dying! That's the only time she'll be in your arms! And she's DYING!! And then you have to say goodbye!! I'm feeling normal about this

I've already seen quite a few Thasmin fans screaming bloody murder and to be honest I get it but like. I'm also digging how tragic this is

I wasn't asking for a kiss but like. When they were on the TARDIS' roof. I wanted one of them to put her head on the other's shoulder. Was that too much to ask

Pretty fitting that Yaz joins the circle of Recovering Doctor Addicts at the end after that and oh god don't get me started

The empty chair for Sarah Jane?? Don't talk to me

Is Ian even aware that regeneration exists or was he just like "wait so the Doctor is trans? Good for her"

WHAT WAS THE "POWER" OF THE DOCTOR WAS IS TO LEAVE A SHIT TON OF TRAUMATISED PEOPLE IN THEIR WAKE BECAUSE IF THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANT I'M HOWLING

Here's the Doctor's power! You all need therapy now!!

"How many Doctors are there" GOOD QUESTION NOBODY KNOWS

SPEAKING OF WHICH

FIVE SIX SEVEN AND EIGHT ON SCREEN. I FUCKING SCREAMED

BANTER BETWEEN SEVEN AND EIGHT ABOUT CLOTHES?? HELLO??? THE SURREAL LANDSCAPE?? ADRIC'S DEATH BEING MENTIONED IN NEW WHO?? HELLO????

Why is Ace apologizing to Seven when he should be apologizing to HER and why am I even asking. Who cares that was so cool

Eight on screen EIGHT ON S C R E E N how am I supposed to feel NORMAL ABOUT THIS I WANT TO SCREAM I WANT TO CRY

OH SPEAKING OF WANTING TO CRY

TIME TO GET EMOTIONAL AND CRINGE ON MAIN ABOUT A FUCKING IDIOT WHO SPENT HALF THE EPISODE COSPLAYING RASPUTIN FOR NO REASON AT ALL AND MENTIONING HE USED TO BE A FURRY IN THE EIGHTIES

I turned off Anon asks so if any of you want to send me a new round of hate regarding the fact I love that Master which apparently makes me a fake fan or a Missy hater or something, you'll have to use your actual usernames, cowards. You know who you are

"Johannes shut up about that Master's supposed self-loathing that's not in the text that's just your headcanon to make him more interesting" OH YEAH YEAH CLEARLY I'M MAKING THINGS UP UH CLEARLY THIS IS NOT IN THE TEXT UH

THIS MF'S ENTIRE BULLSHIT PLAN WAS JUST AN EXCUSE TO STOP BEING HIMSELF FOR A MINUTE AND BECOME THE DOCTOR HI HELLO YES I'M FEELING NORMAL ABOUT THIS

"DON'T LET ME GO BACK TO BEING ME"

"DON'T LET ME GO BACK TO BEING ME"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK FUCK FUCK

I'm not making sense right now I'm sorry

"IF I CAN'T BE THE DOCTOR NEITHER CAN YOU" I want to scream I want to punch a fucking wall why are you like this why. are you. like THIS

The feelings are indescribable and I can't put them into words right now and I will have to make some art to make them go away, I don't make the rules I don't even have a choice at this point

TLDR this episode was a badly written narrative mess and full of fanwank and Doctor Who is terrible and I love Doctor Who with all my heart and I feel more alive than ever right now

[ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au]

i just really need Jodie Whittaker to know that most of us know that it wasn’t her that made her seasons of Doctor Who tank - it was the absolute shit writing from Chibnall

idc if you liked the new seasons or not - the metrics speak for themselves. 

a large majority of viewers did not like it. a very small amount of them were the sexist ones. but most doctor who fans are actually very forward thinking about the whole gender of the doctor. what they didn’t like was the writing

the fact that Chibnall came in with Jodie’s first season & said that there would be nothing from the previous seasons/iterations of Doctor Who (villains/companions/etc) was dooming it from the beginning because New Who has been nothing but based on Old Who & banking on the old fans to come back & bring new fans with them

so much so that Chibnall had to reverse it so fucking fast they brought Daleks back in the Christmas special 

Jodie’s second season got better but only a few episodes. i also noticed this. it was incredibly strange. it felt like they filmed the episodes that were essential to the seasons plot & then read the fans feedback that they wanted more random adventures & scrambled to film more episodes to address some of the feedback & then shoved them in every other episode. it made those episodes feel completely out of place against the other ones

some of the episodes never even showed the TARDIS or them arriving with it - which made it feel incredibly weird. i’m sure that some other (new) Doctor Who seasons had episodes like that but never so many all jammed together that i can remember

not to mention the very controversial episode Fugitive of the Judoon which now rewrites Old Who lore/canon. which a lot of old fans aren’t okay with. personally i don’t mind it. what i didn’t like was the fact that they technically took the mantle of being the first female doctor from Jodie??? like??? was that really necessary??? don’t get me wrong. the actress - Jo Martin was great & the chemistry between the two was phenomenal but like??? really???

the most current season has been much better in my opinion but it’s too little too late. Jodie has said she’s leaving. Chibnall is going as well (thank god) but we didn’t get from this season what i was hoping for -

a scene with the level of Matt Smith’s rage, sorrow & happiness during A Good Man Goes to War or something like Peter Capaldi’s epic performance during Heaven Sent or maybe a two-parter as tense & heartbreaking as David Tennant’s - Human Nature & The Family of Blood. i’d even have taken a moment similar to the Christopher Eccleston episode The Doctor Dances where “Just this once - everybody lives”

but there hasn’t been a single moment during these seasons where i’ve been brought to tears or moved emotionally like the past doctors have done. Thirteen has made me smile & yes i have laughed. but a good story can do both & it can tell you the difference between right & wrong without pointing at the bad & going “see. see that right there. bad. we bad humans need to stop. so bad.” which is exactly what Chibnall did during most of his run

most people watch sci-fi or fantasy as a form of escapism from daily life. this doesn’t mean it can’t have some form of message in it. but that does mean you have to be more careful with how you deliver it. because otherwise people won’t digest it well - hell they won’t even swallow it. they’ll just spit it right out & call it propaganda. that’s the difference between good writing & bad writing. getting people to empathize with your point of view without them even realizing it.

but anyway. i’ve ranted long enough! TLDR -

REBLOG THIS if you NEED Jodie to know that WE KNOW it wasn’t her

also that we would love for her to stay on for another season if she’s up for it now that they have a new head writer planned. because i’ve watched Broadchurch - she has the range. they just never gave her the chance

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Word count: 10,5 K

Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story.  Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).

Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.

A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!  

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | 

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Spencer's point of view

I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.

I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.

- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.

- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.

- "Do you know her?"

- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."

I was completely flustered.

- "That I can see, do you know her?"

- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.

- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?

- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."

My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.

Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.

- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."

- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.

I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.

We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.

- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.

- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."

Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.

- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.

- "I'd love to."

- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.

- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.

- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."

- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."

She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.

- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.

- "That's great."

That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.

- "Way to go, Romeo."

- "Shut up."

We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.

.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.

Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.

- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.

- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately

- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."

- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.

- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."

- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.

I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.

- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.

- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.

- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"

I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.

.

My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.

Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.

I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.

- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."

I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.

.

- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.

- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.

- "Do you need a ride?"

- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."

- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."

And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.

- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled

- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."

- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.

- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"

- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."

- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.

- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.

- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.

- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.

- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."

- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."

And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.

- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.

- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.

- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."

- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.

I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.

It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.

.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"

- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.

- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."

Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.

- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.

- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"

- "I will, I swear!"

Spencer's point of view

Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.

Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).

- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.

- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"

I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.

- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.

Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.

- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.

- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.

- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling

- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.

- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.

Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.

- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"

- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.

- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."

- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.

- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."

She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.

I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.

- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.

- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled

- "Sorry."

- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.

- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.

I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.

- "I think I'm gonna go home."

- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"

- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.

- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me

- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.

- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."

- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.

- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"

- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.

- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.

- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."

I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.

It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.

- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.

- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.

- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"

- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.

- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.

- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.

- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."

- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask

- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."

- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."

- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"

- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation

- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.

- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.

- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."

.

- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.

- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.

- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.

- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.

- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."

- "Thank you."

I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.

- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."

She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile

- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."

- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."

If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.

- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"

- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.

- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered

- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.

- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"

- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.

- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."

- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"

- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."

I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.

- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"

- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive

- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"

- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.

- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.

- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."

I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.

- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.

- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"

We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.

.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.

- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"

- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"

- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"

- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"

- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."

- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.

I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.

- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."

I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.

- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.

- "Thank you."

- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.

- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.

- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.

- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.

- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."

- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"

- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.

- "You do not do that."

- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.

- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."

- "People would always say it's annoying."

- "Why would they say that?"

- "Because... I know they do."

- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."

Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.

- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."

The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.

- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.

After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.

- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"

I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.

- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"

- "Yeah! See ya!"

- "Drive safe!"

- "I will!"

I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.

I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.

Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.

I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.

Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.

- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.

- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.

Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.

- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"

Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.

- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.

- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."

- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.

- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."

- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"

- "Really?"

- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"

And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.

- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"

- "I couldn't feel anything at first"

- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"

- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.

- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.

- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him

- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.

- "And the second?"

- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"

Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.

- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.

- "I'm here to talk if you want to"

It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.

- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.

- "Great plan."

And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.

- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.

- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.

- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."

And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.

.

Spencer's point of you

Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.

Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.

Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.

But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.

- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."

- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board

- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"

- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"

- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.

- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"

- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.

- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."

I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.

- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"

I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?

- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.

- "Just one, and no coffee"

- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.

For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.

For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."

- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.

- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.

- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.

- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.

- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.

- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"

- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."

- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"

I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.

- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."

I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.

- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.

- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."

JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.

For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.

- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"

- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.

- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.

- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"

- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.

- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."

- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"

- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"

I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.

- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.

- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"

- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"

That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.

She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.

- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question

- "Always"

- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.

- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"

- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"

- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me

- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.

- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"

- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"

She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.

- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"

I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.

- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips

- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.

- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"

- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.

- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.

- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"

- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"

- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.

- "I'm waiting"

- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.

- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."

- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"

- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"

Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.

- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"

- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."

- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.

- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"

- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask

- "Yes, Reid, why?"

- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.

- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."

She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.

- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"

- "Some on us more than other"

- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"

- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"

I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.

- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"

- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question

- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"

- "Did you go through the same?"

- "Yes, I did"

- "And how did you overcome it?"

- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.

- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"

- "That's what's scares me too"

- "What?"

- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."

When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.

- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.

- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.

- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.

I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.

- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.

- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"

- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"

- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."

- "Good night, (Y/N)."

----------

Series Masterlist

Chapter two

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[isagrimorie]

Continuing from the Chibnall retrospective interview for Doctor Who Magazine issue 577:

Series 11 was the only one of Chris’ three seasons to operate a writers’ room, where ideas and scripts were nurtured in pre-production. “There weren’t many UK writers’ rooms at that time,” he explains. “It was a great way to work, because it gave everyone a shared language. And also, writing Doctor Who is a very lonely job. You’re sent off into the wilderness to do it and it’s very hard. We gave the writers episodic structures and supported them through the whole process. A lot of them were very involved in the production, and hopefully everyone learned from each other. It was really fantastic, and it’s how most shows are now made.

Chibnall really likes working with a writer's room as I've long suspected, especially through his interview in the Writer's Panel, and from what I've gathered from a different writer -- Jonathan Nolan, who went from a movie writer to a TV writer and adored having a writer's room because that meant he wasn't alone.

“Particularly in that first series, I spent a lot of time helping other writers. We had some problems towards the end and I had to go back and do some big rewrites. Which meant that the version of episode ten [The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos] that we filmed was a first draft. But I just didn’t have time to do a second draft. It didn’t feel enough like a season finale, and that was entirely down to time. So that’s my least favourite script of mine. But I really attacked Resolution, so hopefully I made up for it with that one.”

So my suspicions were right about the last few episodes in the pipeline but especially about the Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos -- I said I felt this episode needed another, especially as a season finale. As things shook out it seems Chibnall actually considered Resolution as the season finale of s11.

Volume 2: Series 12

According to CHRIS CHIBNALL, the middle part of the Thirteenth Doctor’s journey posed the question: “Could there be more to your life than you know?”

“The tentpoles are really clear in that second season,” says Chris Chibnall, surveying a list of the episodes that ran from 1 January 2020.

“It’s held up by the Spyfall two-parter at the beginning, Fugitive of the Judoon in the middle and the three-parter [The Haunting of Villa Diodati, Ascension of the Cybermen and The Timeless Children]. After teasing and trailing them, the Cybermen arrive in force at the end.”

He loved the cliffhangers, he adds – mentioning in particular the end of the first episode of Spyfall, in which Sacha Dhawan’s Master was first revealed. “We had a massive cliffhanger at the end of The Woman Who Fell to Earth, but I lamented not being able to do more of that in the first season; it’s difficult to make that sort of thing work when you’re trying to do more standalone stories.

This I want to give more attention to:

“We had a massive cliffhanger at the end of The Woman Who Fell to Earth, but I lamented not being able to do more of that in the first season; it’s difficult to make that sort of thing work when you’re trying to do more standalone stories.

Don't get me wrong I liked the standalone stories but I wish he did more of that ala flux, but tbh they could have gotten away with it if series 11 was at least 16 episodes long.

Their faces and the way the only time Thirteen willingly held another person's hand and it's her own hand. LOL.

NIDA MANZOOR! I loved her work in Tesla and Fugitive of the Judoon, I wish she could've returned for series 13 but alas COVID, and also she's doing great in her own show!

Was it always part of Chris’ plan to bring in another Doctor at this point?

“No, it wasn’t. We had the whole story for that episode, which had been on the shelf for a long time, and it was originally about another character – the Judoon were hunting an alien princess, or something like that.

I remember sitting down with Vinay [Patel, the co-writer] and saying, ‘We do this story, but the person they’re hunting is the Doctor.’ His face lit up and he went, ‘Oh… OK!’

“I knew we had to do something big in the middle of the three series, and this was literally halfway through – it was episode five in the second season. This is where it pivots.”

This is really interesting and the process here is very familiar with my own writing!

Chris regards the so-called Fugitive Doctor (played by Jo Martin) as a legitimate incarnation, but he’s not prepared to be definitive about exactly where she sits in the character’s now complex evolution. “That story is setting up the questions about what happened in the gaps. There could be any number of points in the timeline where the Fugitive Doctor could belong, but we deliberately haven’t said, ‘She sits here.’”

Does Chris have his own view of where the character belongs in that timeline? “I do have an opinion, but I’m not going to share it with you. As I said before, this is about expanding the mythology without breaking the mythology. 

I do like this approach because this means Jo Martin's Doctor can sit anywhere in the canon of Doctor Who and I like that while Chibnall expanded the lore, he's also not going to impose his own views on us, for example for me, Jo Martin's Doctor sits squarely in between the Second and Third Doctor's run.

[fishmonger291]

Changes to House MD?

For a long time now I’ve been thinking about House MD and how I feel the writing really shifted in the show from being about the cases and mysteries to nonsense and ridiculously unbelievable storylines. Now I know many of you are going to disagree with me, and that’s totally fine, but these are the changes I would make to the show to keep it up to par with seasons 1, 2, & 3:

First, I wasn’t crazy for the new team. I totally understand that it was a fellowship position and our three favorite physicians would probably want to expand their horizons and make an actual doctor’s salary, but in a lot of ways it felt like they got written off. I’ve done a lot of reading on this topic and some of that has to do with it being a network show (they do some lousy things some times) and the other part was what they thought would be the natural progression of the characters. That part I can accept, but the team members they select for the new staff weren’t great. Kutner was okay. He was clearly an attempt at being like Chase with a dramatic family back story and a silly, spunky personality. Then there was Taub who was the only one I can say I really liked for the team. He was sarcastic and grouchy (also the only character I can believe is from the NY NJ area since I’m actually from here). I like that he’s older, worked in plastic surgery, and is a sweet guy. Clearly a throwback to Foreman. Then there’s Thirteen. I find nothing redeeming about her. The back story was too much, the slutty party girl thing was annoying, and it just felt like they were trying to make a cheap copy of Cameron. Part of it I’m sure was that they wanted to give Foreman a love interest, but it just didn’t work. The chemistry just wasn’t there.

I would have given him a new team, it was probably necessary and made sense but I also would have had the old team around more. We get five minutes of Chase and five minutes of Cameron per episode and most of the time they’re just arguing. I also did a little research into it and neither actor was trying to get out of the show. They both were surprised that they’d been made into smaller characters which I think is pretty lousy.

Next, I love that Cuddy adopted a child, but I hate that they made a lot of it look pretty easy. She struggled to get pregnant, like many women do, and so she turned to adoption which failed the first time and succeeded the second time. That’s awesome and I loved the realism (some of it was clearly exaggerated but it’s tv). They had ONE episode that showed her struggling as a single mom with a chaotic job and a baby. How bananas is that? It reminds me of how on Law and Order SVU Olivia Benson is a captain and adopts a child and everything is perfect. In addition, the idea that then House and Cuddy get together is a little crazy. I’m sure many people were waiting for this, and they were hysterical together, but part of what made their relationship fun for viewers was the whole “will they won’t they” thing. They had sexual tension, comedy, and once they got together it was all over. Then House drives a car through Cuddy’s home and that was just weird. I read that Lisa Edelstein was leaving the show over a contract dispute but the writers didn’t know and they were upset because they would have written her character out better. I wish they had, because not only was it totally ridiculous but it did no justice for either character.

Many of you will probably fight me on this, but I have and will always be rooting for Chase and Cameron. The actors had great chemistry (they were a real life couple that split) and had the potential to be a really great couple. To me, their relationship was a little bit of lazy writing. I never liked the storyline of Cameron being in love with House and I thought her back story was way too much from the beginning. Not every character needs some tragic thing in their past, there can be characters that come into a situation that are just normal people. Cameron in season 2 was smart, wity, funny, and had the best hair (that dark doo with the bangs in season 3 was dreadful). I love that they wrote in that she did drugs and slept with Chase cause it broke down that goody-goody-two-shoes persona. In season 3, I think they really didn’t know how she would naturally progress that would make her interesting so they turned her into a slut. She was like this weird, over sexual character trying to prove she could use Chase for sex and nothing else, but they did it for like three episodes and then when he told her he liked her she backed off. It wasn’t the worst, and I liked (of course) that it did lead to them getting together but I think they did her a disservice as many shows do with their female characters.

When season 4 hits, Cameron is weirdly soft spoken and they still sprinkle in parts about her maybe having the hots for House which is still weirdly uncomfortable. Finally, in season 5, she and Chase get engaged and married. This is where I think the writers just gave up. I read that that’s when Jennifer Morrison started working more on that other show, but she never intended to leave House. The writers wrote her out and apparently she was very disappointed because they’d never even told her. For us Cameron and Chase fans it felt like we waited an eternity for them to get married, and they got divorced for the dumbest reason possible. Cameron leaves Chase because he purposely killed an evil man, but did the writers forget that Cameron killed a cancer researcher in season 3???

This is what I would have like to see happen: the writers should have allowed the couple to function like actual people instead of a crazy fake story. I think they should have allowed to two to stay married, have Cameron be happy in the ER and Chase be looking to go back into diagnostics. Chase and Cameron could have gotten pregnant which would have lead to two very interesting issues: Cameron who worked hard for her career would be in the position that millions of women are in which is choosing to be a stay at home mom and be involved in your kids lives, or go back to work and have your career. If the actress had a schedule that allowed her to appear in episodes frequently, she could go back to work, but if not she could chose to stay home with their baby and make appearances on the show every once in a while. For Chase, this storyline could have been soooo interesting! He had a very chaotic family growing up and has no family to help him raise a child. It would have been interesting to see himself questioning the kind of father he could be and struggling and having doubts. Also, as a doctor his schedule would be super busy and if Cameron stayed home with the baby it would have been really cool to highlight how challenging it is for fathers who feel like they’re missing out on so much by having to go in to work. The writers missed a really good opportunity to make these characters strong together, give them interesting storylines, and allow them to be realistic rather than ridiculously fake.

Foreman was great. To be honest, there isn’t much else I would do with his character. I love that he became the dean of medicine, I think he always had potential and he has the intelligence. I also think the writers did a great job allowing Foreman to be House’s number 2 when he had the new team, I loved his struggle for power, and most of all I love that he and Chase became friends!

So, to wrap up this crazy long rant, the writers of House MD did some great work and some questionable stuff along the way. House is a great character and so is Cuddy, but there coming together and ultimatle breakup left this viewer confused and disappointed. His new teams were nothing compared to his original three and their embellished backstories and forced storylines were just a no. Chase and Cameron coming together was a huge victory, but their split was so cringy that I can’t even watch.

What do you think? Do you agree with my assessments?

[abumblebeeat221b]

Really, the best thing about TPOTD were the little in-jokes and references to the old episodes, and what the story makes of them. I loved having Ace and Tegan back for an adventure, watching them fight off an alien invasion, seeing how they are perfectly capable of doing that, even without the Doctor. I loved the jumper with the question marks, the stick of celery, the recorder, and Eight refusing to wear robes. Doctor Who is all about change, and at times it's nice to get these small breadcrumbs of continuity as a reminder that we're still watching the same show.

Sadly, including all those elements doesn't automatically result in a great story, and in retrospect, I can't shake the feeling that Chibnall just didn't know where to stop. For example, the plot could have worked perfectly well without the forced regeneration. The Master could have easily impersonated the Doctor without that extra step. Besides, according to canon, there are already plenty of civilisations out there who think of the Doctor as someone who brings destruction in their wake. Not to mention, I find the Master most entertaining, when he gets to show his competence and isn't reduced to sprouting empty threats, and there are so many truly interesting things Chibnall could have explored with the Master threatening to "erase" the Doctor from existence. Really, merely destroying the Doctor's reputation might be the most boring interpretation of that phrase.

The same goes for the Master playing the overlord of the Cybermen and Daleks: establishing it wasn't necessary for the plot and only took time we could have spent watching the Doctor finally facing the consequences of her actions and dealing with the feelings of her old companions instead of allowing a hologram doing the job for her. You know, wih Doctor Who being all about change, something I really missed with Thirteen is that she didn't get to grow. Every other Doctor gets to change during their time and learn some kind of lesson. And I was hoping that Thirteen could learn to trust people and deal with emotions again. Instead, she let's Dan go without a hug and a proper goodbye, she also doesn't really face her old companions and, if it weren't for the interviews, I'd absolutely expect Yaz to be back. They just never have a real talk about the situation bc there are so many other things going on. And tbh, as far as I'm concerned, those emotions would have been far more interesting than the needless rescue mission the episode started with, or the many subplots the story could have done without. Instead of dealing with the consequences of sometimes leaving some of her companions behind, the Doctor just runs away once more. And if anyone out there thinks it's okay, bc it's not possible to resolve that situation in a satisfying manner, then please go and rewatch School Reunion for inspiration.

Talking about a certain lack of consequences: I thought back in The Timeless Children the whole motivation behind releasing the death particle on Gallifrey was to make sure those regenerating Cybermen never get away from the planet. Like, wasn't that the whole point of that episode? But with Gallifrey and the Time Lords gone, how are those Cybermen happily populating the universe with regenerating Cybermen? Why isn't Chibnall taking his own canon seriously? Don't tell me Gallifrey was destroyed for nothing.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I've never met ANYONE who actually likes the Chibnall era. Would you seriously say that it's objectively good?

Brace yourself for unpopular (albeit positive) opinions.

Objectively? I don't know, I tend to feel like media is very much subjective and down to opinion. But on the whole...yeah. I'm gonna say yeah. I think the Chibnall era thus far is every bit as good as the Moffat Era and Davies Era were. It actually blows my mind to see the fandom come together and almost universally agree that the show has gone downhill. It's part of the reason why I kind of stepped away from the Doctor Who fandom because there's something very demoralizing about re-watching clips from Season 12 and seeing literally every comment just talk about how the show is ruined. And if I re-watch old clips, very often I come across comments that talk about how the show "used to" be good, and should have ended with Twelve, etc. I know a little reluctance toward the new Doctor can be part of the transition process, but normally the fans are over it by now.

Things haven't really changed.

I've been re-watching Twelve's era, and found a new appreciation for him. But I re-watched Thirteen's era right beforehand, and you know what? It holds up. Season 11 is remarkably strong. I can't think of a single "bad" episode in that season. It focuses on the characters, and thus it doesn't have nearly as strong ambitions, compared to one of the Moffat seasons, which were clever but often convoluted. They couldn't always stick the landing. (Looking at you, Season 6) But every has it's good parts and it's bad. The same man who wrote The Wedding of River Song and betrayed the entire season's storyline in the process...also wrote The Doctor Falls, which is probably my favorite final episode of any season ever. The Chibnall Era is the same way. The Tsuranga Conundrum isn't really a bad episode, it's just kind of forgettable, apart from the Pting. But then it is immediately followed up by Demons of the Punjab, which is an exceptional story in every way. I want the Thijurians to return for Thirteen's regeneration, I'm saying it.

My point being that even if there are episodes you can't stand in the new era, is that really exclusive to Chibnall? All the way back in Season 1, they had The Long Game, which I remember disliking, but it was sandwiched between Dalek and Father's Day, which are in my opinion, the two best episodes of that season. A lot of people don't like Orphan 55, for example. But it's followed up by Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror. Does anyone really dislike that episode? You're valid if you do, but I think it's really good. Ask me about any episode in the Chibnall Era, and I'll find something to like about it. (Except maybe Arachnids in the UK...and that one's not even bad, just kind of weak.) Because like I said, there is good and bad in every season...and I do think that the fandom has overblown how "bad" the Chibnall Era is...though that may be in part because I think this era is generally good? Incredible companions, solid episodes, a great Doctor, and hey...this era actually made the Daleks scary again. That is impressive. Even most of the hated episodes, like Orphan 55 as I mentioned...I enjoy them.

I stand by that. I think this era is great. If anything, I don't like that they reduced how many episodes we get, because some of these stories, like The Witchfinders and It Takes You Away especially Fugitive of The Judoon, are just begging to be two-parters. Spyfall is the only real two-parter we've had, in my opinion (Ascension of the Cybermen and The Timeless Children feel like two separate stories to me) and the episode was much stronger for having the extra time. If I have one genuine criticism with the Chibnall Era as a whole, it is the stark contrast between Seasons 11 and 12. I love Season 11, I thought it was beautiful. I like it far more than most people. I also truly enjoyed Season 12. But they are worlds apart, with Season 11 feeling so standalone and Season 12 picking up with a big storyline that really hadn't been hinted at all in the previous outing. The tone is also different, with The Doctor and "the fam" having a distance between them that seems to have developed offscreen in between seasons. It was as though Chibnall wanted to give everyone a breather from big overarching plots after the Moffat Era, but then after one season he decided "break's over" because he wanted to tell his story. And that's okay! It is. But it's jarring. Anyway, let's talk about Chibnall's storyline. You know where this is going.

"That" episode.

I meant what I said before. There isn't a single episode that I actively hate as much as say, Listen. Now let's get very controversial, because I know what y'all are thinking. "Not even The Timeless Children?" And I'll just get this out of the way right now: I don't think The Timeless Children, or it's twist, ruins Doctor Who. I don't think it gets anywhere close. I mentioned before that I was demoralized reading the comments on a clip of Doctor Who...to no one's surprise, it was this episode. Now, I may just be biased...after all, I didn't even hate Hell Bent. But while I have my criticisms of Season 12, The Doctor's revised backstory accounts for exactly none of them. You want to know what really bothers me? That we had a seven season buildup to Gallifrey's rescue, a nine season buildup to it's return...only for the show to do nothing with it, and then just destroy it again a couple of seasons later. As someone who loved The Day of The Doctor, I'm mad about that. Among other reasons, destroying Gallifrey is the kind of card you can really only play once.

So no, I don't think The Timeless Children is perfect. The Doctor had a seven season character arc culminating in them learning the lesson that using The Moment would be wrong, and that it was never okay to do something like that. To hear her even consider using The Death Particle, that "Or, a solution" line in response to Ryan appropriately reacting in horror? Yeah, that upset me. I don't like that Gallifrey is gone again, and even if The Doctor wasn't the one to do it, she almost did, and she left someone else to do it in her stead. That bothers me more than The Timeless Child ever could. That being said...the Timeless Child doesn't bother me. Seriously, it blows my mind that people act like this twist ruins Doctor Who. It...really doesn't, guys.

It does not insult the legacy of William Hartnell. He is still The First Doctor. It's not like there isn't a precedent for secret incarnations from The Doctor's past. We didn't start calling Christopher Eccleston The Tenth Doctor after we found out about John Hurt. Nothing can change The First Doctor's status or take it away, nor do I think Chibnall is trying. He is doing what I've actually wanted Doctor Who to do for a while. Give us a story about The Doctor's childhood. (Listen doesn't count, I don't care, that was all kinds of bad.) Let me ask you, what does this really change? I've seen people complain about the revision of The Doctor's history...but there's a precedent for that too. We could play bingo with how many times Clara fundamentally altered or influenced the show's history. She is the reason he started traveling, the reason he chose his Tardis, and the reason he saved Gallifrey. Why doesn't that bother people, if this does?

I also understand it if people dislike this change because they feel as though it makes The Doctor a kind of chosen one, compared to them having just been an average person who wanted to make a difference. I get that. However, this is down to interpretation, and there are so many ways to interpret The Doctor. Some people love it when The Doctor goes dark, other people cannot stand it and view it as out of character. Some people love it when The Doctor is heroic and badass, when they save the day...others would prefer that they take the backseat, teaching the humans how to save the day themselves. "The man who makes people better." And which interpretation you get, where it falls on the spectrum...it will vary from writer to writer. Moffat loved to make everything about The Doctor, and Davies frequently compared him to an angel or a god. This is not the first time that the show has portrayed The Doctor as a godlike being. It's not even close to the first time. And honestly? I don't think this makes The Doctor special or supernatural. I think it makes them a victim, nothing more. A victim of child abuse.

People also disliked this episode for removing the mystery behind The Doctor...but I fail to see how it did that? There are so. Many. Questions. That this finale opens up. Where did The Doctor come from? How and why did they get to our universe? What exactly is The Division? What went down between them and The Doctor? Where is Tecteun? (No, she's not Rassilon...) As the Masters asks, "What did they do to you, Doctor? How many lives have you had?" Amid all of the comments that made me sad, I did see a great one about how the original creator of Doctor Who actually didn't like it when they introduced the Timelords, because she felt that it boxed the show in and removed the mystery behind The Doctor, and how "She would have loved this episode." I agree with that. (Still salty that they destroyed Gallifrey though...) You know, I am genuinely interested in this story and where it's going to go, especially with the sixtieth anniversary approaching. But it depresses me that they might scale it back now, after how much the fandom has risen up against it. Not that I'm saying the fans shouldn't be happy, but...it's clear that a story is trying to be told here, and I think it should have that chance.

To each their own, of course. But I will never understand why this era is so hated.