#i love them to pieces and they've been my best friend for years now

[dunaldoodles]

Some Ardent facts bc I love them and no one can stop me from talking about them! Put under a read more bc ik its a lot.

They're unusually large for a Vessel! Even as a hatchling, they were pretty big. Accelerated growth via power feeding and Soul infusions just made them even bigger. Shadow is a little jealous of this.

Despite their lanky appearance, they hit like a runaway freight train. Even with the injuries they've sustained, they're a force to be reckoned with!

They're nearly entirely blind. They can see blurred smears of color and light and movement, but rely on a modified version of World Sense to get around.

They also use it to sense Soul, and follow Hornet's safety lines and shortcuts throughout the kingdom to get places they normally can't.

They have several prosthetics! Their left arm was originally designed and paid for by Hornet, and later upgraded by the Pale King. It's made of Pale Steel, and had an attachment point at an artificial shoulder for cleaning and to keep them from bleeding Void when its removed.

They also have mechanical wings! Three of them, moved by Void, with the leading edge made of steel, bones made of steel rods, and webbing made of Hornet's silk. One of their original wings had to have a brace outfitted for it and the gossamer cut and replaced with silk. They're strong enough for short flights, but Ardent mostly uses them for emoting and boosted jumps.

Their left leg is corrected with a brace made of steel alloy, leather, and high-grade spidersilk. It's built more for comfort and correction than anything more, and while it allows them to walk normally, they still have to be careful, since the ruined leg is still weak.

They used to be left-handed, but after Firefly burned off their arm, they were forced to be right-handed until Hornet could get them the prosthetic. Now they're ambidextrous!

The injuries they have mean they almost constantly leak Void from somewhere, whether it be from their tail, a re-opened wound, or the cracks in their face. This also means they're one of the few adult Vessels who's physically required to eat on a regular basis to keep their Void content up.

Their low Void content also means that reproducing is particularly dangerous. A lot of Void is needed to make an egg, and in the three times they've done it, they've nearly died each time and struggled for months to recover. Both Tiso and Hornet have banned them from breeding.

Their nail doubles as a cane at their insistence. Mostly because they refused to use the one Hornet got for them. Its still somewhere in their nest, covered in tooth marks from their spawn.

They actually do have a bedroom in the house they share with Hornet, Tiso, Shadow, and Nyrffrin in Dirtmouth. They do not use it. Instead, they decided to build their nest under the stairs. Whenever Tiso doesn't feel like cuddling an ice block, he uses their bedroom.

Lover of all things shiny! They have a hoard under their nest full of random bits of metal, smooth stone, and precious gems that they've collected since being freed! Definitely inherited that from PK.

They really aren't the sharpest nail in the forge, and get confused very easily. Also very trusting of just about anyone. This is both a blessing and a curse.

Now that they're allowed to be a person, they've set about exploring and trying everything new they physically can, from trying new foods to exploring new places and trying new experiences! They'll do just about anything once!

They're extremely opinionated at times, and more stubborn than a stag. Once they've made up their mind on something they deem important, you will NOT be changing their mind.

That being said, they're very food motivated, and more than willing to concede on most things if you offer them a good enough meal. There's some things that not even their favorite snacks will be enough, though.

Very kindhearted and compassionate. They're the sole reason Firefly is actually still alive, and the sole reason she's willing to try to be a better person. She won't admit this, but they are her best friend.

The basis for their personality was actually my boy! He's an old man now, but still a beloved member of my family. When he goes, Ardent will be his memory. :)

[russellsppttemplates]

Never letting you go (Max Verstappen)

There was nothing stopping you and Max now

Note: english is not my first language. This is the first Max big piece to sort of introduce their arc, let me know what you think! ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions Jos forbidding Max and reader of dating, curse words

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"What do you mean you're going to the Grand Prix?", you quirked your brow as your friend Cara sipped her coffee, "I thought you said you'd never be caught dead one of those", you chuckled.

"Matthew's company got a bunch of passes because they got a deal with one of the sponsors - I think? - I don't know much about it, all I know is that he brought three home because he thought you'd like to join us", she offered.

You never hid how much you enjoyed watching Formula One, even if watching it, especially in the last couple of years, often brought emotionally heavy memories back.

"That's nice, count me in! What type of passes are they?", you questioned, taking a bite from the cake on your plate.

"I don't know, he was talking all about them and I must admit I zoned out", she admitted, "but he said they were really good! He was very surprised at what the passes had, but his boss is very cheap so I don't know how great they actually are considering the possible comparison", she smiled as you nodded, "count me in, though. It's been a while since I stepped foot on one of them", you recalled.

The last race you attended was when Max was in Formula Three still. The paddock was so big and crowded with so many people, you doubted you'd bump into him. It wouldn't do you any good, would it?

"How did you get hospitality passes?", you gasped as Matthew handed you the lanyard, "they've invested a lot of money so I guess the sponsors didn't mind loosening the belt", he shrugged, putting his own around his neck after scanning it.

"Thank you for this, by the way", you flashed him a smile, "no worries, Y/N, the only way I could convince her to come was if you joined us, and I don't mind actually spending the weekend with someone who also knows a little about the sport", he chuckled as Cara laced her arms with her fiancé, "I'm glad he has you to talk to as well, there's only so much feigned interest I can muster up", she rolled her eyes.

Scuderia Alpha Tauri had been Toro Rosso, but despite the name change, as soon as you walked in, some faces were still familiar from the pictures you got sent from Max on gia first season with them.

"Why did you get interested in Formula One anyway?", Matthew asked you while you sipped on a latte, "I always loved the idea of the cars going very very fast, and then when I actually had the knowledge to understand how they worked, they really intrigued me", you offered, "I also had a friend who was very into it, so he also escalated my interest in it".

"He didn't pull you enough to work on motor sport though?", Matt wondered.

"I didn't enjoy the competitiveness of all of it", you admitted, "it's very strict, and if you want to be successful, it takes the good things away - your family, your friends", you opened your heart to him, thankfully noticing it and sorting the heartfelt confession seemingly about a job, "they travel a lot and they're really competitive that is, I'd never be able to do that for a job", you smiled, hoping you saved yourself from further questions.

"That's why you did mechanical engineering, then?", he asked, "for the most part, yes", you replied, "Oh, they're starting free practice", you smiled, looking over to the track from the balcony seats.

Sophie walked into the RedBull hospitality, looking for her family. Because it was Monaco, they felt safe enough to bring the Lio and Luka to the paddock, knowing they would be close to home in case things didn't go well as planned.

"Grandma!", the oldest boy called her from his spot on his father's lap, his brother sleeping on his mother's chest.

"Hey, my dears", she greeted, "You won't believe who I found on my way here", Sophie began, "I'm surprised Max didn't tell me he invited Y/N. It's a shame she isn't here with us, though", she commented.

The first indicator of surprise should be the way the blond woman looked at her mother, "what do you mean Y/N is here?", she whisper-yelled.

"I just saw her in the Alpha Tauri hospitality, I was walking with Helmut and he was headed there, that's when I noticed her. Max didn't tell you?", she quirked an eyebrow just as her son sat down next to them.

"What didn't I tell who?", Max spoke, setting his plate of food down on the table.

"Why didn't you tell us you invited Y/N for this weekend?", Victoria was the first to scold him, hitting his arm in a sisterly manner, "and in Alpha Tauri of all places? I'm sure they would've bent the rules a little and give you a pass so she could be a RedBull guest!".

Max thought he heard incorrectly. Y/N, his Y/N was in the paddock, in the sister team of the one he now drove for.

"I, I didn't offer her anything", Max said, his brother in-law looking at him weirdly as well, "I don't know how or why she is here, but I had nothing to do with it. We haven't spoken in a while", he mumbled. A while, three years, same thing, he supposes.

"Well, I just saw her. You should go say hi, I'm sure she would love to but she can't exactly find you where she is, it has to be the other way around", Sophie offered.

"What makes you believe she would?", Max questioned, both himself and his mother and sister.

"Because the way you never forgot her, she never forgot you", Victoria sterned, "don't you think she deserves your attention? She was in it for the long run, Max, and maybe she has moved on, maybe even has someone", the thought alone made Max loose his cool, "but she was your friend, the person you trusted most in the world and you let her slip".

"Don't sugar coat it, please", Max sarcastically replied.

"It's true, Max, and you know it", Sophie said, sensing her son didn't want to talk about the topic, but not allowing him to leave the table without a piece of her mind as well.

Max needed to put on his suit again, ready for qualifying, walking along the corridor until he found his door.

"Hey, before you go", Victoria called her brother as he was about to go into his driver's room, "Lio is really fussy, so we're just going back to your place, I'm sorry", she said.

"It's fine, whatever you feel the most comfortable with", he said, waving at his nephews and brother in-law.

"We will be supporting you from home, then", she said, kissing his cheek, "And Max? I know you're not used to it, but follow your heart", she smiled.

"Can I do that now?", he softly bit back, smiling and blushing at his words.

"What's stopping you?", Victoria said as she walked back to her family.

"Who is that?", Jos asked as Max asked him if he could invite you over for dinner before the season began.

The conversations with Toro Rosso were getting serious and the opportunity for a seat in Formula One was right there, up for him to grab if he worked enough.

"She's my friend, you know Y/N", Max tried to reason with his father.

"For this to work, Max, I think you need to distance yourself from home", Jos advised, ignoring his mention of you and carrying on with his lecture, "I'm talking no parties, no trips to come and see friends and family - I really think those are just getting in the way between you and the career you deserve".

The statement was clear, and Max knew better than to question it.

"I've spoken to your mother - she wasn't the biggest fan -, but you really need to focus on this", Jos reiterated, "no friends, much less girlfriends", he chuckled.

The dinner ended up being just Jos, Max and Victoria, the thought of having you there quickly erased in his head.

When Max met up with you before he left for the season, he was antsy. Just a week before, you had stolen innocent kisses from eachother's lips and revelled in the feeling of being in eachother's embrace without a care in the world. And it felt good, so good, like the piece that was missing in Max's life finally completed the puzzle.

"Hey", you greeted, kissing the corner of his lips and allowing him to pull you down to sit on the sofa.

"I spoke to my dad, I'm leaving in a few days", Max said, "there's some testing they want me to do still", he mumbled, lacing your fingers in his.

"And where do we end up?", you asked the million euro question. Truthfully, you entertained the thought. Even though being away from Max for most of the year would be a challenge, the love you felt for him was too big, too great for you to forgo that challenge. You were his and he would be yours.

"It's not going to work, Y/N. I need to focus on racing", he stated blankly despite how much it hurt him to utter those words out to you as the conversation with his father resonated with him.

"Max your focus is getting a Formula One seat", his father sterned, "do you know how hard it is? How much effort and work you have to put in? There can't be any distractions!"

"But Y/N isn't a distraction!", Max reasoned. If anything, you were the one keeping him humble and with both feet on the ground at all times. You cared for him, not because of his racing, who he was or who he could become, but because you loved eachother.

You'd never do anything to ruin his career, Max thought as he worked up the courage to tell you all of it. He couldn't get distracted, not now. He couldn't afford making mistakes because he had a girlfriend back at home waiting on him.

Your understanding, however, wasn't aligned with his expectations. He hoped you'd fight, at least, but you swalled your tears and nodded, "okay, Max. I hope you get your seat, you deserve it so much, I know it will happen".

Max put in on pole, leaving you to smile and snap a picture of the moment, wondering if you'd have the courage to send it to him.

"So, does this mean it's over?", Cara asked, "Because I could do with going home, actually", she nudged.

"Let's go, then!", you smiled, putting your phone in your bag and looking for the way out, ending up following the other guests into the paddock.

"Y/N, dear!", you heard someone call your name, and on cue, you looked for the voice despite the fact that it wad unlikely someone recognised you there.

Sophie didn't age, you thought, as you looked at the source of the voice that called you.

"I'm not going to hold you up, guys, you can go!", you smiled, waving at Matthew and Cara once you assured them you would be fine.

"I'm sorry, Sophie - they're my friends, and he was the one who got the passes from his office", you apologised for leaving her to wait a little for you.

"It's alright, dear. It's been so long since I've seen you", she nudged, "I'm sure Max would love to see you, too!", she jumped straight in.

"Would he, though?", you squinted your eyes.

"He would, Y/N", Sophie said earnestly, "I saw you this morning - at Alpha Tauri -, and he knows you're here", she smiled, "I'm assuming you're watching the race, too. Pay him a visit, okay?", she rubbed your shoulder and left a kiss on your cheek, "He's also my ride home, so I need to go look for him! Bye, Y/N!".

Race day meant rush everywhere, so you got to the paddock just in time before everyone rushed inside, finding the perfect spot to watch the race.

"I need to take this call, one second", you said to Cara, recognising Max's contact on your phone.

"Y/N, hi! I didn't think you'd pick up actually", you could hear the nervousness on his voice, "thanks for the picture, by the way, it was very... nice".

"It's no problem really, I thought it would be a good memory to keep", you smiled, "are you ready for the race? Or do you want me to give you a pep talk?", you chuckled. Back in the day, whenever he didn't feel too confident about a race, you had the power to help him out his head in the right place and bring his winning mentality to light.

"I'm fine, actually", he smiled, "I- I was wondering if you'd like to meet up later", he gulped, "I'd like to talk to you, but it's difficult until the race finishes, and then debriefs and media and all that".

"Sure, text me when you're done then", you stated boldly, "have a good race Max, you know I'm supporting you".

"Even if you're with Alpha Tauri?", he joked.

"I never stopped supporting you, it's not going to be a guest pass that's going to change it", you said as he bid you goodbye, ending the call and finding your friends.

When Max won, you clapped unashamedly as everyone else seemed to join you in your excitement, and after the race celebrations were done with, you waited patiently for the text to get to your phone.

"So you're staying back?", Cara asked, "I am, I'm meeting a friend", you explained. At her curious stare, you furthered, "do you remember the guy I told you about when you tried to set up that double date?", she nodded, "yes, the guy you were friends with, and when you both wanted to take a step forward, he had this big shot as his dream career and his father wouldn't allow him to date anyone", she said as she realized, "my goodness, he's here? Y/N, go for it!", she encouraged, "I know you still have feelings for him, who knows? Maybe this is your chance to reconnect", she rubbed your shoulder.

After you bid goodbye to Cara and Matthew, a text go through to your phone.

From: Max

Mum is waiting for you at the door :)

Approaching the hospitality, you quickly spotted Sophie, "c'mon in, dear! Max wanted me to get you myself, he was afraid no one would ler you in", she chuckled, guiding you through until you were in their dining area.

"Y/N!", Max beamed, setting down the crayons he was drawing with at the table with Luka and walking up to you.

"Hey everyone!", you waved at Victoria, putting a pin the two little boys' curious stares as they looked at you so you could hug Max.

"Congratulations, Max, I knew you could do it", you whispered into his skin, his arms hugging you so tightly against him.

"Thank you, Y/N", he spoke, "I missed you so much, I missed this so much", he squeezed you one more time before allowing you to greet the rest of his family.

"This is Tom, and that's Lio and Luka", Victoria said after she hugged you tighlty, "say hi, guys!", she encouraged as the two little copies of Max waved back at you.

"We're going to head home, it was great seeing you, Y/N!", Sophie announced, "I'm sure we'll see eachother a lot more from now on", Victoria complimented, helping her husband pack up the kids' belongings and toys so they could retire to Max's apartment.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner sometime this week", he jumped straight forward, "I'm having dinner with the team today and then the rest of the grid want to go to the club, so I wouldn't be able to spend that much time with you, and I want to be able to just focus on you", he smiled.

"That's fine by me, I appreciate the thought", you smiled as he led you to one of the tables, asking one of the caffé staff for something to drink for the two of you.

“Listen, I think, I think we found each again for a reason", he began boldly, not sure if this was the way to go after not having spoken to you in a couple of years. Still, it wasn't a lie.

"Define found, considering we've been iving in the same city for nearly a year", you smiled, "although you don't spend much time here anyway, so I guess that's a nice enough excuse", you teased, your foot tapping his shin playfully under the table.

"So, Monaco, hm?", Max started, "I didn't expect you to live here out of all places", he nudged, wanting to know more about your move but afraid he was stepping in vulnerable territory.

"I did it because of my earnings for sure. I've got to save as much as I can on tax on the fortune I make as a female engineer", you sternly said as he looked the most surprised you'd ever seen him, "I'm joking - not all of us move to Monaco so our million euro salaries have better taxes", you teased.

"Why did you do it, then?", he asked, smiling at how familiar it all seemed. Just like old times, he thought.

"The company I work for was the one that needed the tax benefits", you clicked your tongue, "and they wanted people to move here. Only one of my colleagues moved here with her whole family, as they expected, so they ended up calling the ones that weren't attached to anything or anyone in particular, and I was one of them", you shrugged your shoulders, "I moved to a new country with a different language, the only people I knew were my work colleagues, so I had no one to complain about them to, but I make it work - at least I like to think I do", you smiled.

Not attached to anyone, he recalled, humming at your response, "it's not such a bad place to live, right? Granted I don't spend much time year, but still enough to appreciate it", Max spoke.

"How about you, Mr World Champion", you nudged, "how does it feel?".

"Obviously it's great, and everything that I worked for", he added, knowing the underlying topic in the conversation, "I get to drive fast cars and I travel the world, there's not much left for it to be the complete dream", he said, gingerly touching your fingers over the table and accepting your hold when you laced them together.

Conversation was flowing easily until one of the employees told Max that he would have to go and get ready for the dinner, meaning you would have to part ways.

"Does Tuesday work for you? I'm not sure how well I'll be tomorrow", he chuckled, "yes, that's fine by me, just text me the address and the time", you smiled, getting up and kissing his cheek, "have a good time, Max, but be careful with the alcohol, I'd hate to have to pick you up again", you reminded him of the time he got way too drunk and he insisted he would only go home if you came to pick him up.

.

Dinner was great and Max invited you back to his place, hoping you'd be able to talk properly about the elephant in the room in a more private and comfortable place.

"You're struggling there, aren't you? Even with your itty bitty small hands?", Max teased as your pinky just about stretched enough for you to not lose everything by dumping the contents of your bag on the sidewalk.

As you and Max left the restaurant, you fiddled with your wallet in your bag, hoping to keep the card the waiter gave you safe for the next time you wanted to visit the place.

"I do not have itty bitty small hands!", you argued, shaking your bag a little to make sure everything was safely in place.

"We need to have the same starting line - like", you rearranged them so your wrists would be touching. Still, it didn't make much of a difference on your end. It looked like it even highlighted a few more differences, "yours is much bigger, I give up", you giggled.

"See?", Max said as he held your hand out against his, "these are the size of fairy hands! Tinkerbell probably has bigger hands than yours!", he exclaimed as you noticed how much bigger his hand was compared to yours. His fingers were a little bit thicker than yours and his palm covered all of your hand almost completely.

Now or never, Max thought as he laced your fingers in his once you let your arms drop and rest by your side. His thumb rubbed your skin and warmed you up, "was this your plan all along?", you wondered, feeling the bravery around you two and choosing to act on it.

"Lacing my hand in yours or proving to you that my biggest mistake was letting you go all of those years ago?", Max stated as he looked deeply into your eyes.

"We should talk about this inside", you bit your lip, allowing him to guide you through the apartment complex he lived in.

His living room was decorated in classy tones, probably with the help of him mother and sister, as you sat down on the sofa and face eachother.

"I know I apologised at the time, but I'm still sorry, Y/N", Max said, "at the time it was the dream and I didn't have much room for my own decisions. Still, I should've fought", he concluded.

"You didn't blatantly acknowledge it and decided we couldn't be together, Max", you conforted despite the hurt you felt at the time, "it hurt, - like a bitch actually -, but not because you were following your dream. I never wanted to pull you back and get in the way of your achievements", you gulped, "but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't like to give this a go, to give us a chance", you smiled.

"I know I have crazy schedules - I am barely here during the season -, but you were always the one I thought about. When I first raced in F1, when I got my first podium, my first win, my bad races - I wanted you there", he admitted, blue eyes looking into yours, "I can't promise that it will be easy, but I'll never risk you or our relationship, that's non negotiable", he stated.

Moving closer to him, you cupped his cheek with your palm, the slight stubble tickling your skin, "I'm in, Max", you smiled, taking the plunge and kissing his mouth, lips moving in sync as his hands pulled you into his lap.

The blissful moment was interrupted by a meow, Jimmy and Sassy walking into the living room, "Oh, guys", Max held you close to him as the cats sniffled you, "this is Jimmy and Sassy, my cats, took then long enough to leave the guest bedroom", he smiled as you tried to pet them, "cute, they seem nice enough - for cats anyway".

[mr2swap]

The great shift: Swap Sindrome 1

In a dimly lit room, I was masturbating with my fingertips in front of a pale white monitor. As I watched the images of boys around the age of high school students lined up on the screen, I fantasized about taking off their clothes and touching their naked bodies.

-ahh, ahh… ahh-

I closed my eyes as I fantasized about the scenes that were still etched in my memory, the memories of my body and my Gymbros in the locker room flooded my mind, At this moment there was nothing erotic about looking at my best friends or touching their oily and muscles to feel The Progress we had made in the gym, but now it was different, I was different.

I continued looking at the photographs that were shown on the Instagram profiles of my former friends, while the desperation and excitement with which I moved My small cock increased more and more.

I kept changing the photos until a photograph of my old body was displayed on the entire screen. I enlarged the photograph just so I could rotate the most erotic parts of my old body. I focused my gaze on the armpits that still had a couple of drops of stinky and sticky sweat running down towards my abdomen.

-FUUUCK! What I wouldn't give to smell those musky holes again-

The shameful and perverted words that came out of my mouth really embarrassed me, but right now I had no control over myself the only thing I wanted was to fantasize about my old hairy armpits, lick his hard biceps and play with his grazed nipples, The memory of the last time I could smell a sweaty t-shirt from my original body made me ejaculate violently, the semen spread across the keyboard of the old computer that was in front of me.

At that moment my head cleared, from one moment to the next the animal instincts that dominated me a few seconds ago immediately disappeared... and then only remorse.

I took a piece of paper that was within my reach and began to clean up the mess that I had caused myself. When I finished cleaning my little cock, I threw the ball of paper into the trash can that was saturated with balls identical to that one in a yellowish color. And they left a disgusting smell in my room.

I stood up, pulled up my pants and slowly walked towards the kitchen, avoiding looking at my fat old face on the relevant surfaces that were in my messy apartment. After doing this, I feel disgusting, but no matter how hard I try to stop thinking about my old life and in my old body.

-The swap syndrome…-

I said quietly trying to justify my depraved obsession with my old life, I had all the symptoms I had read on the internet:

“ Swap syndrome is a disorder characterized by a persistent and overwhelming obsession with a person's past life after experiencing a body swap with another. This syndrome manifests itself when two individuals involuntarily exchange their bodies thanks to the event known as “The great shift.”

People affected by SS experience intense longing and nostalgia for their previous life. They feel a deep disconnection from their new body and struggle to adapt to their new physical identity. Meanwhile, they constantly long to return to their old lives, including their relationships, daily routines, and everyday activities.

Symptoms of SS may include episodes of obsessional love, masturbation, anxiety, depression, and dissociation, as well as a decrease in social and occupational functioning. Affected people may manifest compulsive behaviors related to the search for ways to reverse the body exchange and recover their previous life.“

I've been trapped in the body of this overweight middle-aged man named Hiroshi for two years, and one day I just woke up in a room full of trash and on the other side of the world. It had been a few hours since all this had started So it was easy I searched what was happening on the internet I tried to contact my parents, but none of them responded to me even now I haven't seen my parents after so long, maybe they have They've gotten better bodies and now they're having fun. Or maybe they're in one of the many prisons trapped in the body of some convict, I don't know...

At least they can put me in contact with the Old Hiroshi who was now on the beach in Miami enjoying that new teenage body. At first, we wrote to each other every day, trying to go unnoticed among all the chaos of the world. I had to eat. So I decided. Not to tell anyone that he was actually a 16-year-old American teenager instead of a Japanese man my father's age.

The real Hiroshi helped me adjust to my new life, while I naively believed that this was something that would be resolved in a couple of days. But over time I got used to my new job in a restaurant as a dishwasher, I didn't understand the language very well. , but he didn't need it, the real Hiroshi was a quiet and submissive guy, Very different from what the real Hiroshi is like in his new life, as a popular teenager. That he spends his afternoons tanning on the beach and flirting with beautiful girls.

I used to talk to the real Hiroshi every day, but over time he took longer to respond to the messages, then to look at them and just not respond and over time he started ignoring my calls, now the only thing I know is because of the photographs I uploads to Instagram and social networks of my former friends, I didn't dare tell them the truth, that their former friend was now trapped in the body of a 45 year old obese loser…

I've been saving everything I can to be able to travel back to America and reunite with my old life. Although the salary as a dishwasher is shit, it's better than nothing, but once I'm in front of my old body I don't know if I can control myself... look down and a tiny bulge formed again in my pants from just being in front of my old body.

-Shit….-

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[adventuringblind]

Deserving

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Summary: while she falls into the pit of her mind, Charles is there to pull her out.

Warnings: mentioned self-harm, anxiety, toxic media, mentions of addiction

Notes: A Nonny request, I hope you like it!! This one is definitely an insight into how my brain works.

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Everyone says rookie years are the hardest. Which, she won't say everyone is wrong, just that she also had consistently bad years. They blend into each other now. A never-ending cycle of the same lame excuses as to why she's so downcast.

She's a rookie driver and having a pretty decent season. Logan and Oscar are two of her closest friends. She's dating Charles Leclerc of all people.

So why is that piece of her brain still nagging at her? Years of therapy and help hasn't done the trick. The stinging still pushes through to the front of her mind.

The habit started so young. It was a distraction from the pain of whatever she'd been going through at the time. A means to satisfy her the voices in her head. Now it's to remind her she's still alive. That the media hasn't shattered her already frail will to live quite yet.

Everything in her wants to just... stop. Everyday she's reminded that her place is somewhere else. Not in the car, not with Charles, not even on the planet.

It doesn't matter that she's having a good year, that the car is good, or that she has people who love her. The voices always come back in those dark hours when she's alone.

She staggered herself in the beginning. Enough that her physio wasn't catching on. She lived in Charles' hoodies, and he thought nothing of it. Just another source of comfort.

He'd seen the faded scars, asked her about it every occasionally. He never pushes her to talk about it.

She doesn't deserve Charles, or anyone for that matter. Mentors, family, friends, they are all to wonderful for her to drag them down into her misery. The constant pity party she throws herself has no guests, only her and her demons.

Redbull isn't the best environment for someone as fragile as her. Despite the boosts of confidence Christian gives her daily and the constant reassurance from Max, she doesn't feel like she deserves it. The media is eating her alive. The next teammate to be crucified to Redbull and Mad Max.

It's starting to become noticeable again. The lack of sleep and covering clothes. Charles is skeptical and keeps reassuring her she can talk to him.

If she does that, he'll leave. Her mind can't take being alone yet.

Max is the first to catch sight of the new lines adorning her wrist. He asks if she's alright, but again, nobody pushes for more. Maybe if they did, she would break. Her fragile walls would come tumbling down.

Oscar is the next to push. A good friend of hers and they've both had good seasons. He and Logan show up one night with comfort food and cards. It manages to make her smile like when they were younger.

But they have to leave eventually. The voices swallow her whole the second she's alone again.

Charles finally pushes for answers. He finds her alone, body slumped along the hotel bathroom wall. She's exhausted, but manages to give a crooked, tired smile.

He crouches down in front of her and looks at the fresh line on her thighs. Bandages are something she has readily available, and Charles knows exactly where to find them.

He works quietly, just humming softly as he patches her up. It's a classical song that he listens enough that she knows the tune but not the name.

Charles dresses her into comfy clothes and tucks her into bed. A hand plays with her hair and strokes her cheek.

She doesn't deserve him.

"Tell me what's eating away at you, chéri. Please, I hate that you won't talk to me."

She scoots her body closer to Charles so she doesn't have to see his face. "Just hard - I guess."

"It's okay to have hard days. It's okay that you feel the way you do. But this thing, hurting yourself, is not the way to make it better."

"I know that, Charlie!" Her voice cracks at saying his name. "I just can't help it."

Those fragile walls she has come tumbling down. The pit of despair finally swallows her, and she can't stop the tears.

It hurts. Her head, her heart, her bones, it all hurts. She falls and shatters, but Charles is here to put the pieces back together.

"I don't deserve you. You're everything people love, and I don't want to drag you down with me."

"Who put that idea in your head?"

"The voices," She sniffles. Her words muffled when Charles pulls her into his chest.

"Well, the voices are incorrect. I, of all people, know what it's like for the media to pick you a part. Whether it's appearances, my driving, my relationships, they will always find something." Charles pulls her back just a bit, enough for him to make eye contact. She hates how his eyes are as glassy as hers. "You don't have to suffer all alone, in silence. You have people around you that understand and want to help. None of us are asking for perfection. We - I - don't want to see you hurting so much."

"What if it's too much?"

"Then we figure it out together."

She falls asleep in Charles' arms. Tears soak into everything, but he doesn't tell her to move. He comforts, because Charles loves her.

She has people who want to be there for her. Yes, slips happen, healing is never straightforward, but she can try. She can lean on Charles, let him love her; let him be the steady rock she needs in her life.

"Progress chéri, not perfection."

"You sound like all team principles."

"And? It's a good saying!"

Charles pulls a laugh out of her. A genuine laugh at something that isn't even funny. She blames her love for him.

"Maybe I do deserve you."

"If this is an insult, I'm taking all the covers tonight."

[diazsdimples]

I think- I think you might be my person.

Buddie or BuckTommy if it sparks joy 💞🦛

Oh, we're going for the feels today huh? Have some Buddie feels, just for you my love 🥰🫶

"I think - I think you might be person."

The words hang heavy between them, thick with unspoken meaning. There's yearning behind them, years of bitten back "I love you" and "don't leave me" and "please stay, I need you." But finally, Buck will speak them, no longer afraid of the consequences. He's ready. They're ready.

Eddie looks a little stunned, his mouth hanging open slightly as he looks at Buck, takes in the open vulnerability of his expression. They're so close, just a couple more steps and they'll be there. Buck waits with bated breath, praying Eddie will take the cue and take Buck's tender, open heart delicately in his hands.

"I- we're best friends, Buck, I should hope I'm your person."

He's deflecting, Buck can tell. Eddie's had years of repression and Catholicism that've taught him to box away all his feelings and not allow himself to be authentically him.

But not anymore. They're allowed to be happy. They're allowed to have this, to have each other. Buck just needs to take that step that Eddie can't do himself, because Eddie will never let himself have something if he doesn't think Buck will want it too.

"No, Eddie. That's not what I mean, I'm not-" he sighs, mentally weighing up his options. He could back out now, pretend he was just talking about their friendship. But then they'd be back in that revolving door of bad decisions and unspoken words and Buck can't do that anymore. He won't.

"Fuck it. Eddie, you're my person because you're the most important thing in my life. You and Christopher. You're my best friend, yeah, but it's more than that, right? Every day I wake up and you're the first thing I think about. When we're not together, I feel empty, but when you're by my side it's like I'm whole, like a piece of me has been returned to my body. You're my person because there is no one else in this world I would rather spend every day with than you. I trust you with my life."

Eddie's eyes are soft and they shine with unshed tears. He's biting his lip and Buck wants nothing more than to run his thumb over it and release it from his teeth, and tenderly capture his lips with Buck's own. But he needs to finish what he's saying. Eddie has to hear it.

"Eddie I can't imagine a life without you. The sun rises and sets on you, the world revolves around you and I-" his voice breaks and he ducks his head. He can't go on, he can't say it, he's not strong enough, he's not-

Eddie's fingers curl under his chin and slowly, gently, he raises Buck's head so their eyes meet. God he's so beautiful. He's truly the most beautiful person Buck has ever seen.

"Go on," he whispers, his voice cracked and raw with emotion. "Please."

Buck sucks in a breath. It's now or never.

"I love you."

It's like the air has been knocked out of Eddie and his breath hisses from him. Buck can't breathe. The oxygen has been sucked from the room, and he can't breathe, not until Eddie speaks. Until he confirms that Buck hasn't fucked this up and read all the signals wrong.

"Please say something," he begs.

Eddie takes a step closer, his fingers never leaving Buck's chin. The gap between them closes until they're chest to chest, nose to nose, close than they've ever been before. Eddie's lips ghost against his, a tentative brush, as though he's testing the waters. Buck tilts his head ever so slightly and, emboldened, Eddie kisses Buck properly this time, their lips moving in sync with one another and oh, this is what's been missing from Buck's life.

It's like the world has a new meaning now because hold fuck, Eddie is kissing him. His best friend, the love of his life, the man he'd almost convinced himself he would never be allowed to have, is kissing him back as though he feels the same. There's such tenderness and emotion with the way Eddie kisses him, as though they were born for this. As though they were made for one another. Two halves of a whole, destined to be with one another regardless of circumstance.

Eddie pulls away from him and rests his forehead against Buck's, his lips pressed tightly together. He's breathing heavily and fast, as though he's moments away from a panic attack.

Buck gently touches Eddie's arm, just above the elbow. Eddie doesn't pull away, staying completely still.

"Eds?" Buck says, voice quiet and full of choked up emotion.

Eddie licks his lips and takes a deep breath, as though steeling himself, and Buck feels sick. He's going to say he doesn't feel it, that Buck is alone in this journey, that they're just friends and Buck has misread the signs. Eddie can't, he won't, won't ever-

"I love you too."

Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll finish it!!

[forestshadow-wolf]

Just real quick! Something not soapghost (sorry)

I was rewatching httyd 2 (one of my favorite movies btw)

And I remember the first time I watched it, when Stoic was singing to Valka, I hated when Gobber kept interrupting. I thought it was annoying, and didn't belong.

But watching that scene again and I actually kind of like it now. And to properly explain this I just want to put an image in your head.

So imagine this - you, a fresh-faced young viking, has grown up next to his best friend your entire life. He's been beside you through thick and thin, and has never once left your side. Now you yourself have nevr seen any lady that's caught your eye, but your best friend? Oh He's got his heart locked on one. He's quite the fella, has no shortage of women that he could wed. But no, he want the kind-hearted woman who refuses to harm a dragon.

You think maybe she's too soft for this life. She doesn't belong. But you're best friend loves her, and you're his best friend for a eason so you don't say anything.

At first you leave them alone, the waves of love that radiate from them are sickening. They can't keep themselves away from eachother for a second. So you let them be.

Imagine around this time that perhaps you realize lads catch your eye more than lasses do (this is canon btw, and the VA for gobber is also gay)

At some point, after a few moon cycles of your best friend and his lady being together, the three of you start hanging out. You realize this lady is quite nice, still too kind, but you can see why your friend likes her.

At some point you can't keep it in anymore, and confide in your friend that you won't be looking for a lass, but rather a lad. Your friend claps you on the back, and says he's with you always, and it's like a weight has lifted off your shoulders. But then you hear a noise behind you, and you whip around. Standing before you is your friend's lady, and you freeze, but she gives you a nice smile and says she won't say anything. She says the village won't think anything of it, but regardless she won't say anything.

A few moon cycles later and you really do like this lady now. She may not harm dragons, she may fight to save them, but she is just as fierce as any viking you've ever met. And through it all you're best friend and his lady are tag teaming you, trying to set you up with other lads.

These are your best friends, you couldn't imagine your life without them. You do everything together. They never left your side, even when you lost your leg. They've been with you through everything, and you them.

It's been years now. And your best friends are still just as in love now, as they were when they met, in fact they might be even more so. They're married now. They're still trying to set you up with a few guys. You have dinner every night at their house. You cook because like a perfect matching pair, neither of them can cook. And you all laugh and sing together, and you know that no matter what happens it'll all be okay as long as they're here.

They have a baby together, it's a wee little thing. The lady worries something's wrong with him, but your best friend says he's gonna be the greatest chief there ever was.

Then imagine one night there's an especially bad attack, you see your best friends' house catch fire, that's where the baby is, and quiet possibly the lady. You're too far to do anything. But your best friend isn't. He races to the house.

The next thing you know a dragon busts from the roof with the lady in its clutches. Your best friend bursts from the house, little bundle of furs in hand.

After thay day everything changed. It was the same just... less happy. Less kind. But it can be kind of okay with three out of four pieces.

You watch the little boy grow up. Your best friend he's happy, but he worries. He never sings anymore, that's sad. He won't put him in dragon classes because he's scared of losing him too.

Eventually you convince him to allow it. And it goes great until it doesn't. And your best friend disowns his own son for befriending the very beasts that took his lady, the boy's mother.

And then you see that very beast save your best friend's kid's life. And your with your best friend through all of that. Life and death, thick and thin.

And then imagine you find the lady! Or well the kid did. And all of the sudden, this light that died in your best friend's eyes lights up again. And then for the first time in over 2 decades you hear your best friend singing again. Just once. And it's been so long. And then you hear the lady! And now it's like everything is better, just like old times, and you can't help but sing along.

So there! Now you all know some (probably) useless knowledge :)

[amethystfairy1]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit to dark or perhaps even triggering for you, or too much. You're free to just delete this or keep it or whatever you want to.

I just. I had one of the worst breakdowns I've ever had. An identity crisis, I suppose, that I was a terrible person and that everyone needs to leave me or they'll get hurt and burned. That I was merely placing on a mask and I was nothing underneath. I guess this is what happens if I spiral too much into my thoughts after the sun goes down (one piece of advice is to never listen to your brain after the sun goes down. I usually listen to it, but, tonight was just rough, I guess)

It was near the apex of this breakdown that I checked my Tumblr. For a distraction, a sign, I don't know. You posted the link for "Inkblot Lovely". I decided to go check it out, stay up to date to your series and all.

Scott's entry, I don't think it was the first time I saw it, but it was similar enough to my situation that I had to switch apps to calm down for a second.

It was me, in a sense. It was Jimmy's affection and sure belief in Scott that I was drawn to. I anonymously had a bit of a breakdown in a server I have with some real life friends. A friend anonymously responded that I'm not all of the things I think I am. That I'm not secretly a terrible person that needs to be cleansed.

I don't think that if it wasn't for your fic, I would've accepted the objections to my conclusions so quickly.

I want to thank you for helping me tonight. Thank you, truly. You showed me that I can be loved.

Take breaks, drink water, and eat and sleep well.

This is not dark or triggering or anything like that to me whatsoever! I promise you that! I am so happy and honored to hear that Inkblot Lovely went up at a moment where you needed it.

I'm so happy that Jimmy's affection for Scott in this AU and in this scenario helped you find the courage to talk to some friends in that server, even anonymously. I know sometimes it feels like we're all wearing masks, because we've gotten hurt, or maybe even done some harm in the past, but that doesn't define who are now, and it doesn't make us terrible. Scott's gonna have to learn that in TTSBC, and if in some way reading about him doing that has helped you feel like you can be loved, then that is the greatest and more wonderful thing I could possible hope to hear as a writer, that my stories meant something like this to someone and helped you somehow, because they've helped me a lot this past year as I've been working on them, too.

I am taking breaks, drinking water, and all those other good things, I wish the same to you and very much all the best. All the love in the world, because all of us need to see that we deserve that. 💖

[someverygaymoth]

what would NM’s brother think abt his OSDD, would he be upset he never knew and could’ve been making their life harder, use it against them in battle, or neutral like it doesn’t have anything do do with him anymore. What abt all three, he’s mad at himself for not noticing and making their harder, but the stars are in a rlly bad spot and need any advantage against them, besides the fact him feels disconnected from the years him and NM spent apart. And what does the gang think abt that????

-📖

There are so many ways that this could go and all of them are so interesting!

Dream having no idea until they make a truce, where Nightmare nervously comes clean. Dream is confused at first, "we were only made with one soul... I don't understand." Nightmare gives him some books on the subject, Dream thanks him and does his best to be understanding and promises to look at the books.

He does look at the books and cries for several hours straight when he reads over the causes, which Nightmare neglected to mention during their conversation. Dream's best equation to what's going on is that Nightmare's original soul was broken into pieces. This is a comparison that hurts him severely, but does help him to understand.

Dream ends up reading way way more than the books NM gave him. He feels like he has so much to make up for.

The gang would definitely be a little protective of Nightmare, careful to make sure that Dream is doing what he should to support him, but they back off a little once they see he does.

That's one silly option

Another (which I love) is:

Dream is totally plural too, and just hasn't realized. Which I think is super likely. They're twins, after all, same genetic thresholds, same horrible trauma in two different fonts, that's a recipe for two plural little guys.

Dream talked to Ink about the voices and feeling distant at one point, and massive holes in his memory and ink was like, "Oh dw that's normal, lol" so he never brought it up again, because why would he? It's normal. (Ink is an idiot, and also something is definitely wrong with that freak /aff)

Nightmare talks to dream about it after the truce and Dream is like "wait what? That's possible? That's a thing?"

And NM is sort of apprehensively like... "yeah?"

"I thought everyone heard the voice people!"

"The voice people???"

"Is that not... isn't that normal???"

"No that's not normal. How many do you hear??"

"Uh..." Dream squints a little and starts counting on his fingers.

"D- wait stop. Okay, you hear more than one?"

"Yeah... like three or four i think."

"Dream you're only supposed to hear one, at the most."

"Really?? No, you're playing a trick on me."

"I am not. I'm serious! You can ask anyone!"

"You're kidding!"

"I'm not! Call anyone, right now!"

Dream calls Blue, and they ask Killer, and Horror, and he calls a lust variant he knows— all of them answer the same.

"There's really a word for it?"

"Oh my stars."

"I didn't know!"

"How did you think that was normal!?"

"Ink told me it was!"

"You listened to that IDIOT!?!???"

"hey, that 'idiot' is my friend! ... sort of."

"Brother."

"Okay I see your point. How was I... how were... I don't know how I was supposed to know?"

"You're... you're not, really. I don't blame you. It's not bad."

"It isn't?"

"No."

"What do I do? What did you do?"

"I... we talked to the people that love us."

"Oh."

"We researched... we worked... we... just lived. Mostly."

"That.. doesn't sound too bad."

And the third evil option:

Dream finds out from one of the bad boys, accidentally, and uses it against them. He starts purposefully triggering switches/flashbacks in battle (it's not hard to figure out what'll get him the results when they've gone through the same trauma), doing mean things to get what he needs, just generally being awful.

I don't usually write Dream as such an opportunist as this might make him, but I can definitely see Dream finding out from one of the boys slipping up in battle, looking into it, crying his eyes out, talking to the stars because he doesn't realize it's not his secret to tell... Ink would 100% use this against him if given the opportunity. He knows enough about the things that have hurt Dream to know what'll hurt NM too.

[jacks347]

And on today's episode of "Jacks is bored out of their skull during church so she's making it everyone's problem" we have religious trauma >:3

Specifically for David.

There's a nagging voice in the back of my head that says David used to be a devout Catholic but isn't anymore. Because he defected after the accident, right?

Wrong. (Like I'd ever be that basic, do you know who you're talking to?)

Gabe encouraged David's connection to the church, it was one of the only things that still had remnants of his mother and Gabe didn't want him to lose that piece of her. So they went every week, participated in the activities, went to confession, all the good Catholic things. Active but not completely devoted members of the church. But after the accident, David ramped up his level of commitment. To his credit, the ladies of the church were one of the only pillars of support he had to lean on at the time, always checking on him and bringing him food and generally being sweet old Catholic women who wanted to take care of one of the younger members they've known since he was born.

David threw himself into the church and all it encompassed after his dad died, desperately seeking some sense of familiarity and stability. When everything was turning upside down, that was when you were supposed to turn to God to get you through it, right? He was supposed to help, to let you get through this, to let you be okay, why wasn't he okay yet.

Was God not listening? Was he ignoring him? Had David done something wrong to anger him? Was that why this had happened? He thought he'd followed all the rules, he thought he'd done everything right, why was he being punished if he was a good Catholic? Bad things weren't supposed to happen to good followers. Was it a test? If so, a test of what? How long was he supposed to suffer? He'd turned to the church when his mom died and even more so when his dad died, why was he still in pain? Why hadn't God made everything better yet? What more was he supposed to do?

Maybe he just wasn't worth it. Maybe God had decided he wasn't good enough to deserve his help. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough, hadn't done what he was supposed, hadn't been the good Catholic he needed to be. Maybe it was all his fault. If he'd been a better disciple, a better son, a better man, none of this would've happened.

And it was that heavy guilt that David carried with him as he stepped into his father's shoes. Asher noticed, of course, but elected not to say anything. He figured that David already had a family around him, that he'd go to them for help with this kind of thing, not knowing he'd started skipping church and avoiding the community because everything weighed so heavy on him. How could he go back and face them when he wasn't even sure God was real anymore?

To this day he still wears a gold cross necklace that his dad gave him for his 18th birthday. He's never been back to the church, at least not officially. He's only gone back once, right before the wedding. Something about moving on to this major chapter in his life without the church felt...weird. Like something was missing. So one late evening he went in and went to confession, for the first time in almost six years.

He didn't say much to the preacher, didn't want to risk revealing his identity. But he just sat and talked. Talked about his dad, about how everything spiraled after his death, about how he struggled with his faith and still didn't know if he believed anymore. And he talked about Angel and the pack, how much he loved them and how happy he was to be marrying someone so perfect alongside his best friend, how he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life surrounded by friends and family and the people that really loved him. And that's when it hit him.

"Maybe this was what God was testing me for. Maybe everything I went through was the labor to earn this. Maybe it was all worth it in the end because now I'm here. Or maybe it was all me and my efforts. Maybe I made my own destiny. I guess I won't know until I meet Him myself. Or I don't. Either way I get my answer."

He never told Angel or the others about the confession, they wouldn't understand it. This was something for him, something he needed to finally end that chapter of his life. He didn't need religion anymore, he'd already found an angel.

[thirdtidemouse]

i have to do more bc she isnt rly brought to life yet.. she will change a LOT... but this is dylan :-] (hammarlund? underhill?) i couldn't not do a hilda oc and i couldnt not make it a nervous werewolf. she stresses herself out but is surprisingly organised about cooking, one of the famously stressful activities. she spends a full day planning out a meal, cooking for herself and kaisa (thank god. that nerd cannot cook) and then asks for detailed reviews.

she is very stressed out about being a werewolf though. she has just finished being a teenager and this is kind of that all over again. she does not want ANYONE to find out and confides reluctantly only in kaisa. what she fears is people fearing her, and she feels like the moment her life has been pieced back together again, she's losing grip, again. it's almost a black hound situation when the people of trolberg hear about a werewolf sneaking around. some episode centred around the mystery ensues.

she likes food + music! although she's more of an amateur at music, she owns + plays a guitar, a mandolin, a banjo, and a harmonica. very folksy. she has a swedish-welsh accent. try and imagine it please.

the default sister dynamic is kaisa getting home from work late (she probably lives in a flat in/around the library), and dylan being in the midst of homemade ravioli or something with a sauce that took 6 hours. kaisa asks about her day to be polite. dylan tells her about the sauce that took 6 hours, a long hike, 3 different invasive plant species, a lot of butter, and the use of powertools. kaisa has been re-shelving niche history of magic books but got so caught up re-reading them that it also took up 6 hours. when they have eaten dylan asks for her opinion and scribes the whole thing down in her notebook as kaisa voices her 5 star yelp review. they do not ask anything else about each others days and interact mainly through dylan slow-motion fake-punching kaisa while she is trying to just hang out in the living room or do her work and is ignored. only when she is in a very good mood will kaisa fake-punch back. dylan has a lethal case of younger-sister-that-is-taller syndrome.

sorry for my handwriting but the vague outline of her backstory WHICH MAY PROBABLY CHANGE is:

from the time she was 8 and kaisa was 21, they lived alone together. kaisa became a full-fledged witch between then and age 25, when suspicion against witches was on the rise for a short while - dylan never became a witch, but the only trusted adults in her life (basically kaisa and tildy) were, and they decided it would be best for her to grow up somewhere less troublesome. they were both pretty messed up about her having to move away, dylan holding some kind of spite toward her sister for a while, and kaisa feeling incapable, guilty and ill-equipped to take care of her.

she went to school in wales at 12, living with as-yet-unspecified family members/friends, and while kaisa almost immediately regretted sending her away, dylan adjusted quickly and spent the rest of her school career there. after a few years she forgave kaisa, because she ultimately enjoys her life, but she is stilll missed at home. at 17 going on 18 she became a werewolf (whether she was bitten or it was always in her somewhere?) and four months later she finished sixth form and called kaisa out of the blue asking if she could come and move in. since they didn't live in trolberg before, she's new to the city.

i will write more cohesively about her relationships to other characters/flesh her out more later, ESPECIALLY the werewolf stuff, but now i have to go to bed. thank you for reading :-] feel free to ask/suggest anything about her!! i love discussing hilda ocs

by the way this is i think my first ever actual OC? i've made up others before but they've just been single designs i've never really thought much about their actual selves because i suck at writing. dylan is the first one thats really stuck. part of her is based off myself and people i know, most of her is not. the main similarity between us is double-denim.

this is fun though. critique is welcome

(obviously her werewolf self is a swedish elkhound. i know the design kind of just looks like a furry im working on it)

[da-rulah]

Soppy new year post incoming...

Whew. 2023 is almost over. Thank fuck for that.

I don't want to put too much pressure on having a better 2024, because frankly, I don't want to jinx anything. This year has been awful in so many ways, but the highs I've experienced have been extreme highs, and they've fuelled me to get through the year in one piece.

But I wanna talk about this silly little fandom for a moment, because it was only in July that I discovered Ghost. And like for so many of us, it changed my life.

For about 18 months prior to finding Ghost, I had lost a lot of passion in my life. As an autistic woman, I struggled with that. I had no hyperfixations, nothing to be passionate over, nothing that I truly enjoyed. It was getting really dark near the end of those 18 months, until my best friend (@her-satanic-wiles) text me one day in July and said "I need to info dump on you about this band I found a couple of weeks ago."

That was mid-July. It took me two days to fall head over heels in love with Ghost.

It reignited my lost passion for music, brought me back to a time where music was my life, it ruled my world and fuelled me daily. It reignited my passion for writing too, which some of you have joined me in. But most of all, it's given me this weird little safe haven of a home in a group of people on the internet who love this stupid little satanic band just as much as I do.

The last few months since I found Ghost, I've been tested mentally for various reasons but now that I found them, it was so much easier to get through those months than if I hadn't. I'm not sure where my head would be at without this distraction and passion, but I don't want to think on that, because luckily enough, I do have them.

I'm so grateful to a bunch of my close mutuals - @her-satanic-wiles, @angellayercake, @thew0man, @portaltothevoid, @ramblingoak, @tasty-ribz, @ghostchems, @leezlelatch, @ibikus/@writingjourney, @kissingghouls and SO MANY MORE of you that I can't tag you all - for keeping me afloat, most of the time without realising you're doing it. Whether it's through accepting me as a friend, supporting my writing, freaking out over Ghost with me or genuinely being there for me when I needed a friend... I adore you for it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I feel incredibly lucky to be starting 2024 off with this passion and drive again. I'm not out of the woods yet in terms of mental health challenges, and January is always a tough month for me, but I feel more prepared to take it on knowing I have a home to come to, and a driving force behind me.

Thank you all for the last few months, I hope you'll still be around when I write one of these soppy as fuck posts next year.

I think it's true what they say; "If you have Ghost, you have everything".

All my love, Bee 🖤

[fluentmoviequoter]

I love your writing it's great could you write a Dalton Lambert x reader where the readers a single mom to a one year old chris introduced them and they hit it off so they've been together for 6 months and then before that friends for 6 months so the baby was 6 months old when they got together and is now a year old so Dalton became readers baby's step dad a little and reader and her child go with Dalton to his home for Thanksgiving break and meet his family obviously Cali doesn't really care and is happy to have a sister and niece now and Renia is happy to know Dalton is happy and absolutely loves the reader and her kid and then foster being the teenage boy he is doesn't really care that much but obviously Josh doesn't really like reader cause she's a young mom and is skeptical of her considering the problems he and Dalton have

So sorry for the long wait! I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted. I think this is my longest fic and it covers over a year; I tried to follow your timeline. Thank you so much for the request and the kind words!! Enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

Warnings: fem!reader is pregnant and gives birth (no detail), unnamed child (nickname: Bump), marriage, lots of fluff, some angst towards the end. 3.8k+ words

A/N: The title is from "Come Together" by Aerosmith, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fic, I didn't explain why the reader is a single mom, that's up for interpretation/reader's choice. I also made a very obvious reference to another Ty Simpkins movie.

One and One and One is Three

✵Last October✵

“Dolphin, please!” Chris begs, extending a store-bought Halloween costume.

“I’m not going to another party with you, I’ve learned my lesson,” Dalton responds, crossing his arms.

“Fine.” Chris sighs. “I guess I’ll go by myself, just a poor, defenseless girl, and hope for the best. I thought we were friends.”

Dalton groans as he tips his head back, running a hand through his hair. “Why do you always do this?”

“Because it works. Now go change, we need to go.”

Chris tosses the costume onto Dalton’s bed before walking out.

Dalton takes a deep breath before picking up the bag.

“Iron Man? Really?”

After changing, Dalton meets Chris outside the dorm building, standing silently as she playfully fawns over him. The closer they get to the party, the more Dalton appreciates the cheap piece of plastic covering his face. Maybe he can get through the party and back to his dorm without any incidents this time.

Chris leads Dalton inside the house, greeting people and looking around as she walks toward the kitchen. Dalton hears several other Avengers yelling at him but pretends not to notice them. As he prepares to ask Chris what or who she’s looking for, she stops abruptly, and he nearly runs into her.

“Baby Bump!” Chris yells.

“Chris,” Dalton hisses, concerned he will have to break up a fight. He takes off his mask to prepare.

Chris hugs someone and then steps aside. “Dalton this is Baby Bump. Baby Bump, Dolphin.”

Dalton tells you his real name as you tell him yours. You laugh as you repeat his name and shake his hand.

“You’re…” Dalton begins.

“Pregnant?” you suggest. At the same time, Dalton finishes, “A kangaroo.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m a kangaroo. And you’re Iron Man.”

Chris interjects to say she’s going to find food. You nod sweetly and smile, sending Dalton’s mind into overdrive as he imagines you looking at him like that.

“Do you like Iron Man? Or did Chris get your costume? She wanted to pick mine, but I vetoed that.”

“Yeah, yeah, Chris picked it. She forced me to come, so I didn’t have much of an option,” Dalton answers.

You nod and smile up at him, making him wish he had the mask back on to cover his warming cheeks.

“You make a very attractive Iron Man if it helps.”

“I’m pretty sure you could tell me I look stupid, and I’d say thank you.”

You laugh, and Dalton thinks it’s the best sound he has ever heard. You look over your shoulder for Chris and shift your feet to find comfort.

“Do you wanna go somewhere else, or sit down? Anything?” Dalton offers, raising a hand toward you slightly.

“Yeah,” you answer with a sigh. “But you stay here, enjoy! Chris should be back soon.”

“Chris isn’t coming back, it’s like her favorite thing in the world to abandon me at parties. So, where to?” Dalton offers his arm, and you loop yours through, smiling as he walks you toward the front door.

“Why did you agree to come?” you ask as you exit the house.

“I’d never let Chris go to a party by herself. This one seems like a decent one, so I’m okay with leaving her.”

“Bad experience with a college party?”

“Frat party the first week.”

You make a sound of agreement. “You’re a good friend.”

“You never told me where you want to go,” Dalton points out, trying to get your attention off of him.

“I’m craving something really weird, so if you want to go home-“

Dalton cuts you off with a dramatic shake of his head. “Let’s get it. How weird can it be?”

✵Last November✵

“What do you guys want for dinner?” Chris asks, looking up from her phone.

“Your favorite concoction?” Dalton suggests, looking over at you, where you’re lying on his bed with your feet up.

“Never going to let me live that down,” you grumble. “I’m pregnant, Dalton, it was a one-time craving, get over it.”

“Yeah, Dalton, give your pregnant best friend a break. You’re so mean,” Chris adds, winking at you quickly.

Dalton rolls his eyes and returns to his drawing, listening to you and Chris discuss what to order. When the two of you decide, Chris places the order and then says she has to finish some laundry before it gets delivered.

“What are you doing for the break, Dalton?”

Dalton abandons his drawing; his interest shifted to talking to you. He sits at the end of his bed and stretches his legs beside yours. “My dad’s coming to pick me up after my last class, so I’ll be with them for Thanksgiving. What about you?”

“I’ll be in labor, hopefully.”

“You’re staying here?”

“Yep. My stuff got delivered to my new apartment yesterday.”

“Need help unpacking?”

You open your mouth to answer, then tense as a contraction seizes you.

“Was that a contraction?” Dalton asks, sitting up as his eyes widen.

“Yeah, just Braxton Hicks. I’ve had more of them this week.”

“If I’m not here, you’ll call when you go into labor, right?”

“Depends on what day it is and how fast it happens.”

Dalton says your name, waits for your full attention, then says, “Call me. No matter what day or time.”

You nod, then raise your hand and allow Dalton to pull you up to a sitting position.

“Bet you never thought one of your best friends in college would be pregnant.”

“I’ll admit, I never thought about it. But I’m glad we’re friends.”

Dalton stands and helps you up the rest of the way, opening the door as you promise to return in time for dinner.

As the door to the bathroom closes, you feel another sharp contraction. Your eyes widen when you realize what’s happening.

Pulling your phone from your pocket, you click Dalton’s name on your favorites list.

“Hey, Baby Bump, did you fall in?” Dalton answers.

“My water just broke.”

You hear Dalton stand and start running. “I’ll be right there.”

“Sorry about dinner.” You exhale sharply as you experience another contraction. The phone beeps as Dalton hangs up.

“Did you seriously just apologize about dinner while you’re going into labor?” Dalton asks as he walks into the bathroom. You see his shoes outside the stall you’re in.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll talk about that later. Let’s get to the hospital.”

From the moment you walk out of the bathroom stall until your little girl is placed in your arms, Dalton’s hand doesn’t leave yours. He wipes your hair from your forehead and tells you every encouraging thing he can think of. Feeling closer to Dalton than ever, you nearly answer ‘Lambert’ when the nurse asks for your daughter’s last name. You decide not to tell Dalton about that, though.

When you finally force Dalton out of your apartment before Thanksgiving break, you promise to keep him updated. Dalton doesn’t tell his family exactly why he keeps checking his phone, but the smile on his face when you send a picture of you and your daughter tells everything they need to know. Even if Dalton doesn’t know yet.

✵Last December✵

“I missed you so much,” Dalton says as he hugs you. “You look amazing.”

“You were gone for a week, Dalton, I look exactly the same.”

“I got Bump some Christmas presents.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about Chris’s nicknames. Actually, really nervous to hear what she calls me now.”

“Oh, I know what she’s planning to call you and I’m getting in on it,” Dalton says with a smile.

“Wait, did you say Christmas presents? She’ll be less than six weeks old; she won’t remember it.”

“But you’ll remember her first Christmas, and you might need some of them.”

You nod and pull Dalton into another hug, whispering, “I missed you, too.”

The door opens, and a handful of gift bags enter before Chris yells, “Merry Christmas, Momma!”

“Oh, no,” you whisper, hiding your face in Dalton’s chest.

“Oh, yes,” he whispers in reply. “Momma.”

✵May✵

“I know something is going on between you two, Momma.”

“Chris, Dalton and I are just friends,” you insist, for the hundredth time.

“He acts like a dad to your kid, more importantly he acts like your husband, and you’re going to sit there and tell me you don’t want more?”

“We’re just friends.”

Chris’s smile grows, and you furrow your brows as you wonder what you said wrong.

“You didn’t answer the question. You want more, don’t you?”

You bite your lip and look over to your sleeping daughter.

Chris leans forward as she says, “Then do something about it.”

“Like what, Chris?” You stand and pace as you explain, “I can’t just tell a guy, who I’ve only been friends with for seven months, by the way, that I’ve fallen in love with him and can’t imagine my life without him. No one wants a girlfriend with a kid, besides It’s bad enough that he stayed by my side while I had a kid and buys her everything.”

“You said no one wants a girl with a kid then immediately said Dalton treats your daughter like his own.”

You wipe your hands down your face as you sit back down. “I can’t lose what we have. Dalton is an amazing guy, but it’s true that girls with kids are less desirable.”

“No, it’s not.”

You jump at the sound of a third voice, looking over to see Dalton standing in your kitchen.

“How long have you been there?” you ask quietly.

“I’m going to give you two some time,” Chris announces, sending Dalton an encouraging nod as she passes him.

Dalton waits for the door to close before he walks over to you, looking at your daughter before meeting your eyes.

“You are not undesirable because you have a kid. You are beautiful, brave, self-reliant, not to mention an amazing mother. Some guy will be very lucky to have you.”

“How much did you hear?” You repeat.

“Just that you think girls with kids are less desirable. Which isn’t true.”

“Really? That’s all you heard?’

“Yeah.” Dalton’s eyes soften as he kneels before you on the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“If I tell you something, and you don’t agree with me or feel differently, can we still be friends?”

Your daughter starts crying, and Dalton rubs his thumb across your cheekbone before standing and picking her up from her playpen. Dalton bounces your daughter and smiles at her until she starts laughing.

“Momma is nervous, but she doesn’t need to be, does she?” Dalton asks in a high voice. He shakes his head dramatically, drawing a laugh from you and your daughter.

Hearing your laugh, Dalton looks over and sees you smiling. He sits beside you, holding your daughter in his lap.

“I’m in love with you. I have been since after that Halloween party, and I just keep falling more in love with you,” you admit, playing with your fingers.

Dalton’s smile grows slowly, and he stands up, spinning with your daughter. “Did you hear that? Momma loves me too! Yeah, she said it! The big l-word, can you believe that?”

You smile as you stand and walk to Dalton’s side. He tucks you under one arm, kissing your temple quickly. “In case my victory lap didn’t make it clear, I love you too.”

“Even though I have a kid?”

“Are you kidding? I love her too. Professor Armagan is convinced she’s my kid anyway.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I drew a picture of her and no matter how many times I try to explain the situation, she swears that it’s my kid.”

“I think she is, too. Maybe not by blood, but you’re the only father she’ll ever know, Dalton. She loves you; no one else gets her to laugh like that.”

“She cried when I walked in,” Dalton states with narrowed eyes.

“To get your attention, Dalton.”

Dalton gasps and looks over to her. “Really? You did all that just for me? Now I’m going to have to spend more time with Momma though.” He lowers his ear like she’s responding, nodding and shrugging to his imagined conversation. “Of course, I’ll still visit you. But I may have to kiss Momma when I come in or take her on a date. I promise we will still be best friends though.”

“I love you,” you whisper, looking into Dalton’s eyes.

Dalton removes his arm from your shoulders and holds up one finger. He sets your daughter back in the playpen, placing her favorite toy beside her before returning to you. Dalton wraps his arms around your waist, and you raise your arms over his shoulders.

“I love you. More than you know,” Dalton whispers.

Dalton tips his head down and kisses you, laughing into the kiss as your daughter squeals happily in the background.

✵October✵

“You two should do a couple’s costume! It is your one-year anniversary,” Chris says as she drags you and Dalton into a costume shop.

“We didn’t start dating until May.”

“But you should have started in October, that’s my point.” Dalton rolls his eyes when you look over at him.

“Joker and Harley?” Chris suggests.

“I like to think I left the psychopath back in the Further,” Dalton deadpans.

“You could have said anything else. Both of you,” you state, shaking your head as you look at the costumes.

“What would you pick?” Chris asks.

“Farmers and a pumpkin,” Dalton answers.

“That was fast. Wait, pumpkin?”

Dalton looks over at Chris, waiting for her to realize the obvious. “Oh! Right. I forgot that you’d want to include her.”

Chris walks to the next aisle, and Dalton returns to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Find one?”

“I think she’d make a cute Grogu.” You turn in his grasp, smiling as you ask, “Do you still have the Iron Man costume?”

“I think so. Why?”

“Because it looked really good on you. We could do superheroes.” Something catches your eye over Dalton’s shoulders, and your smile widens. “Or we could be the Incredibles.”

When you look back at Dalton, he’s looking at you like no one else exists.

“Or we could get married.”

You pull away from Dalton slightly, looking into his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Would you want to? This isn’t an official proposal.”

“Of course, I would, Dalton.”

“What’d we pick? Besides PDA?” Chris asks as she returns.

“The Incredibles,” Dalton answers quickly.

“I think Bump has something for you, Momma,” Dalton says as he opens the door to your apartment after dinner.

Lit candles sit on the windowsill, and Chris and your daughter are wearing dresses. You look at Dalton with teary eyes, wondering what’s going on. You kneel in front of your daughter, and she makes grabby hands at a black box on the table.

“Wing,” your daughter cheers.

Chris winks at you before picking up your daughter and carrying her into your bedroom.

As you stand and turn around, you see Dalton kneeling in front of you, the box open to reveal a beautiful engagement ring.

“I love you. I fell in love with you when I first saw you dressed up as a kangaroo, and I can’t live without you. You and your daughter are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life learning to be a husband and father with you by my side. Will you marry me?”

Tears slide down your face as you nod. “Yes, Dalton, yes!”

He stands, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you. You laugh as he slips the ring onto your finger, looking at it quickly before leaning up to kiss him.

“How would you feel about a Halloween wedding? For sentimental reasons,” Dalton suggests.

“Absolutely,” you agree.

Chris carries your daughter out, and she immediately reaches out to Dalton, squealing as he picks her up.

“Momma said yes!” He cheers, pretending to dance with her.

On Halloween, you and Dalton stand in a courthouse with outfits picked by Chris. Chris stands by your side, holding your daughter as you say your vows and marry Dalton Lambert.

As you exit the courthouse, you take your daughter from Chris and hug her close. Dalton silently asks for her, hugging her in the same way.

“You’re stuck with me now,” he whispers before looking at you, “and so are you.”

✵November✵

“Let’s go to my parent’s house for Thanksgiving. You can meet my family, and I know you didn’t get a real Thanksgiving last year,” Dalton suggests.

“I don’t know, Dalton. I mean, do they even know about everything that’s happened? About us?”

“My mom knows, and she really wants to meet you.”

Dalton wraps his arms around you, swaying you gently.

“Okay,” you respond with a nod. “Let’s do it.”

“I’m so nervous,” you tell Dalton as he pulls onto his parent’s street.

“Everything will be fine. They’ll love you; both of you.”

As Dalton parks in the driveway, he squeezes your hand and leans across the console to kiss you. As he pulls back, he sees his mom coming down the driveway.

“Here we go,” Dalton whispers before opening his door.

He hugs his mom quickly before coming around to open your door. After helping you out, Dalton says, “Hey, Bump, what are you doing here?” as he releases the car seat straps.

“Hi, sweetheart, I’m Renai. I’ve heard so much about you!” Renai introduces herself before pulling you into a hug.

“I’ve heard a lot about you too. I’m glad to finally meet you!” You respond before introducing yourself.

“And this is Bump,” Dalton says as he joins you.

“A pretty girl like this deserves a better nickname,” Renai says with a smile.

“Dalton!” Kali yells from the porch.

“I’m going to go become her favorite brother because I have a baby,” Dalton announces proudly before walking away.

Renai gestures for you to join her as she begins walking behind Dalton. “I can’t thank you enough for making Dalton so happy.”

“He’s made me happier than I thought possible.”

You hear someone say your name, phrased as a question, and look up to see Kali sitting with your daughter in the living room.

“Hi. You must be Kali, you’re Dalton’s favorite sister,” you tease before introducing yourself and sitting beside them.

“I’m his only sister,” Kali answers with a laugh. “Is she really my niece?”

“Yes, she is. Is that okay?”

“That’s awesome! Wait, so then you would be?”

“Your sister-in-law.”

“I finally have a sister!” she cheers before hugging you.

You make eye contact with Dalton over Kali’s head, smiling at him.

“Is that the wife?” Foster asks as he walks in.

“Yes,” Dalton answers before telling him your name.

“Cool. Nice to meet you,” Foster tells you before continuing toward the kitchen.

“He’s nice, just weird,” Kali tells you quietly.

“Dalton,” Josh calls as he walks in. He looks over at you, playing with Kali and your daughter. “A word?”

Dalton catches your nervous look and nods at you before following his dad outside.

“He doesn’t like me, does he?” You ask Renai as Kali continues playing with Bump, adopting Chris’s nickname.

“Josh has… trust problems and a lot of incorrect assumptions about single mothers. Give him a little time, and if he says something out of line, please don’t be afraid to put him in his place. As far as I know he means well, but sometimes he goes about things all wrong.” You nod, Josh’s voice becoming audible from outside.

“Would introducing myself make it worse?”

“Sweetheart, I honestly don’t know. I’ve known Josh a long time but even I don’t know what makes him so… Josh. But, feel free. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me to come yell at him.”

You thank her, then slowly approach the back door before stepping outside.

“Dalton, you can’t even tell me why she’s a single mom at her age!” Josh argues.

“I can’t tell you because it’s none of your business,” Dalton explains, with a level voice compared to his dad’s yelling.

“Hi,” you say, drawing their attention. “I know we haven’t actually met, and that you don’t trust me or like me because I have a kid and I was a single mom.” You introduce yourself and extend a hand, awkwardly waiting as he hesitates to shake it.

“My mom was a single mother, and she had so many problems,” Josh begins.

“Mr. Lambert, sorry to interrupt, but I’m not a single mom anymore. I understand your concern that I have a kid and what people could say about Dalton for being with me.”

“Oh, so because you have a boyfriend you aren’t a single mom? You’re already balancing a child and college, what could you possibly offer my son?”

“Happiness,” Renai says as she steps out. “Josh, let them explain before you start biting heads off and making this about you and your mom. I’m going to go finish cooking, and if I hear you yelling again we will be celebrating Thanksgiving without you.”

You lean closer to Dalton and whisper, “Your mom is awesome.”

He chuckles against you before nodding.

“Okay. Please, explain,” Josh tries again, crossing his arms.

You look over to Dalton and nod, allowing him to explain.

“We got married. Almost two months ago,” Dalton answers. “And the last fourteen months have been the happiest of my life. If you have a problem with me, or her, keep them to yourself, Dad. We aren’t here for your approval, we wanted to give you a chance to get to know your daughter-in-law, but if you want to waste that by being stubborn and letting your childhood trust issues get in the way, then that’s your loss. Because this is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life and that little girl in there is my daughter, blood or not.”

Josh drops his arms and nods slowly. “I’ll be honest, I won’t be able to accept this overnight, but if you’re both happy and your lives are going where you want them to, then it’s your decision.” He turns to you and apologizes for yelling.

“It’s okay, Mr. Lambert,” you promise. “I know that trust and respect have to be earned.”

“Call me Josh,” he offers, a small olive branch.

“Food is ready!” Renai calls. “And Bump seems to think her last name is Lambert.”

“Maybe it should be,” you whisper to Dalton as you walk inside.

His eyes widen, and he stops walking before rushing to catch up and ask, “What does that mean? Bump Lambert does have a nice ring to it!”

[freckliedan]

in your opinion do you think that now they’re not in the closet publicly anymore, it’s not that they necessarily care that people think/know they’re together, it’s just more that they want to keep their actual relationship private?

ooh this is a good question honestly! i mean, they've said it themselves that they're private, and their actions back that up too. i think a huge part of the way they've navigated the privacy for their relationship while & since coming out has been about setting a clear boundary, considering the past violations of their privacy?

but honestly i think there's another huge piece of why they've been so private over the last five years and why that's changing now! i think the gaming channel hiatus era has been their individualization era, which was important for dan especially. like, phil had some time as an adult to learn who he was before he met dan; all of dan's identity formation as an adult happened in the context of his relationship with phil.

spending your entire adult life in a relationship with someone, AND living with them AND working together AND having shared friends for the vast majority of those years? speaking from experience: you can reach a point where you're less able to identify your own individual wants and needs and strengths and dreams, even if it's a healthy and beautiful relationship.

especially if there was any level of tumultuousness in your home life lol

with the added pressure of being a public figure it makes a lot of sense to me that a hard reset had to happen for dan's exploration of who he is and wants to be and enjoys doing with his career to succeed! dan is not okay being fucked over is such a heartbreaking thing, but the time dan spent almost completely out of the public eye followed by a fully solo tour & span of his career shere he was regularly posting is like—it makes sense!

it makes sense that the last 5 years were focused on everything but their relationship! but it also makes like equal sense to me that they're returning to the gaming channel and joint content and a higher level of being open with us, too.

they tried fully solo careers. and i'm sure they both know now, what they like doing independently of one another. but it's so clear to me that they've returned to the gaming channel because they genuinely love to make videos together, and it's a part of them making a fully informed choice about their future careers.

like. it actually really grinds my gears when people say that dan and phil only came back to the gaming channel for the money, tbh! because yeah, i'm sure it's one of their best options for bringing in money. but like... yall they are rich people. they absolutely have money invested. they absolutely are having their money managed. they almost certainly could pull off never working again if they wanted to.

they wouldn't phone it in just for money, not with the standards they've consistantly shown themselves to have for the work they do. like, yes, they're doing their job and making money for it. but i just don't understand seeing this as anything but a choice they made because they love working together—and because they're sure of that, having spent half a decade on solo projects.

the individuation era ending also makes the higher level of being open about their lives make sense. i've always thought we were due for a being loud about how happy they are in their relationship era post coming out and. well. this is definitely that. i can't say i ever wanted to hear this much about their sex lives but i also can't truly say i'm surprised!

i think this is an era of shifting boundaries to be at least a little more open regarding their relationship and life together and i think that's what they're boiling us about this gamingmas! ultimately they're always going to keep more to themselves than they ever share with us but like. things are changing!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I refuse to talk to an alter in a system because I had a weird experience with them?

This is something that happened somewhat recently.

So for background, I (16nb) have been dating my boyfriend (17m) for about two years now, we were introduced by a close friend of mine during covid and got together sometime during the pandemic. Now, my boyfriend is a system, he found out about a year to a year and a half ago (this was during the pandemic, and my sense of time is wonky at the best of times.) Now, this doesn't change anything about him. I still love him just as much and I accept him and have zero problems with this.

The only reason it's relevant is because a couple days ago me, him, and another friend of ours (17f) went to a mini con type of thing, the day was great! Nothing went wrong at all we all had fun. But at the end we were all chatting and someone else was fronting at the time (I'll just call them A) and A isn't... The nicest person to be around? In source they're evil, and I know that source doesn't define an alter and not to judge them based on that, I don't! Just to be clear. But they've always been kinda snappy towards... Everyone, but I didn't think much of it because some people are just like that, y'know.

Another important piece of information is that most of the time me and my boyfriend talk online, we don't go to the same school or work the same job or anything like that so we use discord to talk most of the time, so it's been a few weeks since I've last seen him in person and A had only just formed about a week prior to this (or had just started interacting with others at least.) So, I was talking and I made a little joking comment about someone from A's source that they... I don't think like is the word, more of are slightly obsessed with? I didn't think anything wrong with it (a mix of I've joked about this before while they've been in the front room w/ my bf or even with them in front in call and they never said anything, it was pretty late, and my medicine that keeps me up was starting to wear off which made me tired and my filter drops a lot when I'm tired.) Anyway, I didn't think anything was wrong with it until they grabbed my shoulder super tightly.

I think they might have threatened me but I have not only an extremely low pain tolerance but I just do not remember Anything but the basics of what happened when I get scared or frightened like that (I just do not deal well with being touched without permission and especially grabbed and it sets off my anxiety a Lot.) Luckily nothing else happened, our other friend intervened and A was dragged out of front, my boyfriend was worried for me but I did just shrug it off because we had fun and it was ending so I didn't want to risk the rest of the night being spoiled by me being a little nervous.

I was fine at the end, there wasn't even a bruise or anything.

But, here's where I'm worried I might be the asshole, I get sort of nervous at the idea of talking to A again, and to my knowledge they've been "jailed" in the headspace. But I do get super nervous at the idea of it, and it may just be my anxiety talking but I don't want to seem rude for not talking or interacting with my boyfriend or the rest of his system just because there's someone else that's fronting or co-fronting who I had one bad experience with.

What are these acronyms?

[rafaelsilvasource]

You and co-showrunner Tim Minear originally wanted Carlos (Rafael L. Silva) to become an APD detective, but you've now chosen to make him a Texas Ranger — which, it must be said, is an interesting choice, given that Carlos had been so insistent in the past on not wanting to follow in his father's footsteps. How would you respond to the criticism that being a Ranger goes against what Carlos initially set out to do?

Raisani: I think the Texas Rangers became an embodiment of Gabriel Reyes, Carlos' father. What I mean by that is … Carlos had grown up with a perception of his father, which is: "My dad is homophobic, or certainly uncomfortable with who I am. He made me feel shut out. He made me feel unloved, unvalued." Carlos' arc in Season 4 with his father was to realize, "My dad is a more complex and beautiful man than I realized, and even though it took him a minute to get there, he did get there, and we became ultimately best friends. I love and revere my father, and just in time for me to realize that, he gets killed and taken away."

I would encourage people to go back and look at that Texas Ranger episode [in Season 4] where Carlos talked about the massacre [where] the Rangers killed all those innocent people in the early 20th century. What [Carlos'] mother teaches him in that [episode] is, "Look, the Rangers, like any organization that's older than 20 years, have some blood on their hands, but they've also done a lot of good. And nobody represents the good that they have done like your father." She talks about how the diversity of the Rangers has increased, which is real. They went from being all-white to now 33% or 40% [people] of color and women. "Your father embodied that change, and now you can take that legacy and take it to the future."

To me, Carlos' arc was to realize Rangers are not just inherently evil. "Yes, they have a bad history, but just like my father who I had a bad history with, they're more complex than I was giving them credit for. And rather than just spit them out and reject them, I can be the change in that organization." So that's what Carlos is going to do, and that's the symbolic relationship that he has with the Rangers.

But in a purely plot relationship, there's no better way to solve [the mystery of] "Who killed my dad?" than to be inside that organization, because Carlos believes — and I think rightly so — that some of the cases that his father worked on may end up having something to say about who killed him. So that's what I would say to people who maybe have some doubts about that.

Carlos bumps heads with Ranger Sam Campbell (Parker Young) on a big case in the premiere, but they seem to have formed a new partnership by the end of the hour. How would you describe the evolution of their relationship this season?

Raisani: I feel like they're two brothers vying for daddy's love. The dad is the chief, the older brother is Campbell, and Carlos is this pipsqueak young brother who just got to the front of the line and now he's a Ranger. And in Campbell's mind, some of it is because, "OK, this is some nepo baby stuff. Your dad was a legend, and you just get to waltz to the front of the line." We built this little family of brothers and a father, so the first episode is really about Carlos and Campbell in a foot race with each other. And then what they realize by the end of [the premiere] is, "Boy, we're a lot more effective when we work together. And in fact, we make a pretty amazing partnership."

Moving forward into the season, we get to play just how complementary these two pieces are together. One of the things I personally love about the Rangers, which we can't do from simple 9-1-1 calls, is they can go into some much more complex, deeper investigations against much darker bad guys and much more real-world problems that are happening in Texas — cartels and with drug smuggling and stuff like that. So we'll do some cases that I think people can't believe are real. But we'd never had the opportunity [to do those stories in the past], because we didn't have that vehicle to get into these stories like we do now that Carlos is a Texas Ranger who gets to investigate the darkest, most dangerous crimes that are happening in Texas.

Carlos' investigation into Gabriel's death will certainly drive a wedge between him and T.K. (Ronen Rubinstein) this season. How has Carlos and T.K.'s relationship evolved now that they've been married for almost a year?

Raisani: What I wanted to show with their relationship this season is that people can love each other with everything they've got — and everybody has challenges in their relationship. To love someone completely doesn't mean you're not going to fight all the time, and yet you can use [that conflict] to make the relationship deeper and more meaningful. We didn't want it to be happily ever after. For me, in real life, the wedding is the beginning of the story — not the end — and there are so many more deeper stories you can tell once people have that level of commitment towards each other.

We really wanted to put some pressure on that relationship. For T.K. especially, it's like, "You love Carlos. You want him to get that closure, that peace, that can come from finding out his dad's killer." But also, T.K. is a former addict who knows he's seeing signs of addiction, and Carlos is addicted to this thing, and it's clouding over and suffocating other elements of their future together because Carlos is so focused on what happened in the past. T.K., because he loves Carlos, will be patient and graceful about it, but at some point, he's going to have to put his foot down — and it's going to be very uncomfortable when he does.

[munsonsprincess11111]

Need her gone for you.

Eddie munson x reader

A/n: first writing lmk what u think :]

Summary: your best friend and her boyfriend broke up. Her boyfriend kicked her out so you offered her a place to stay with u and Eddie for a few nights. A few nights turns into 2 weeks. You and Eddie haven't done anything since she's been living with you to be respectful. But Eddie's getting bored and horny. Fast.

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2 weeks. 2 weeks your friend jill had been staying with you. At first it was fun and girly. Now it's getting long. Eddie and you have lived together for 2 years and been dating for four years. They've never really had to not touch eachother and could always be intimate. But that's come to a pause since jill started staying

Eddie's stood leaning against the kitchen counter watching jill pick a movie. He looks annoyed as he takes a sip of his beer. You come up behind him n he jumps. "Stop starring." You mumble for only Eddie to hear. "I'm not I'm leaning on MY kitchen counter starring into MY living room" he took another sip of his beer.

You sighed placing the snacks u grabbed on the counter leaning next to Eddie "wanna come watch the movie? Cuddle me for a bit before bed?" You said looking at Eddie sweetly stroking a loose piece of hair out of his face.

He groans "fine. But if try to get up n leave I'm going to bed" he walked helped Graham the snacks putting them on the coffee table before plopping himself on the couch. You walk over placing the rest of the snacks down ans then Eddie grabs your waist and pulls u onto his lap.

You wrapped your arms around his neck getting comfy and one of his arms come to wrap around your waist his other still holding his beer. "Aww. Look at you two love birds. Shame if he didn't dump me we could all be here but oh well" jill said sitting on the other end of the couch. Eddie just sighed at her statement.

"Let's start the film" you say leaning over and starting the movie. All was going well. Until 20 minutes in. Jill groaned looking at you and Eddie. "Could u guys maybe not sit so cuddled up please. I kinda just got dumped n it still hurts." You go to move but Eddie's grip gets harder on your waist.

"GOT an issue with it? Go live somewhere else." HE says jaw clenched not even looking at her. Jill stays quiet for a minute "jeez no need to be rude was just asking. I just got dumper you know an-" but Eddie cut her off.

"OH I'm well aware. Your living in my house after all not your own trust me I'd be n idiot if I didnt" you can tell he's getting annoyed. "No need to be a prick Jesus. Y/n can you say something to him." Jill says. You look at her and at Eddie. Before you an open your mouth Eddie speaks.

"NO need I'm going to bed. I'm done." HE stands up slidding you off his lap and walking off to bed. "Night" he says walking off. **he's pissed** you think. "Talk about overreacting Jesus no need for that. Atleast it can just be us now." Jill says going back to the movie.

"Actually I'm gonna head to bed" you say but before Jill can protest your gone.

You walk in your bedroom to see Eddie stripping of his clothes. You stand silently next to your dresser. Eddie turns and sees you. "Thought u was watching a movie with little miss single." HE says in a bland tone.

"I wanted ro watch the movie with you..." You say quietly. He stand up straight and looks u in the eyes. His expression softening when he sees the upset look on your face. He walks over to you pulling you in wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you bury your in his chest and arms around his back.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You was teyna be nice bt letting her stay with us. And you thought me watching a movie with you would be nice. I'm sorry."

You both stay stood like that for a few minutes before there's a knock on your bedroom door.

"What" Eddie half shouts. "I'm going to bed see you both in the morning" Jill says. Followed by footsteps getting further away. Your still stood in the same position. Eddie's hand slowly slides down your back and he squeezes your arse cheek.

"I mean... she's gone to bed..." Eddie whispers moving his head back. You look up at Eddie's face and only then notice your boyfriends only in his boxers. He moves his head down and starts to kiss up your neck.

"Baby we can't she's in the other room she will hear us." You try to tell him but he doesn't seem to care. "She has been here for 15 days. We haven't had sex in 15 days. Tomorrow will be 16. If I don't have you right now my dick might actually fall off." HE says looking dead serious

You can't help but giggle. "Please." HE begs. "OK OK we just need to be kinda quiet." You say slipping off his tee shirt u have on n your pj shorts. "Say that to yourself your the loud one." Eddie says but before you can protest he's pushed you onto the bed and is on top of you kissing and sucking where ever he can.

Eddie starts leaving hickeys on your neck. You can feel how hard he is already just by him laying his clothes crotch over yours. "Need you now please babe" he groans kissing your neck. You undo your bra letting it fall his mouth immediately attacking your nipple.

You slide off your underwear with Eddie's help. He then slides of his boxers and lines himself up to your hole. "Ready for me pretty girl?" You wrap your legs around his waist and he starts to slip himself in.

Your arms go around his neck as he lifts your legs up so he can thrust deeper. He begins to rock his hips in and out of you and your already a mess. "Fuck baby missed you so much fuckkkk" he moans thrusting.

All you do is moan in response. He leans down and kisses you. It's sloppy. Teeth. Tongue. But passionate all at the same time.

You can feel yourself getting close already. But Eddie knows. "You gonna cum pretty girl. That's it let go beautiful." HE whispers in your ear. With that your letting go with a silent scream. Scratching Eddie's back. 3 more thrusts and Eddie's biting down on your shoulder and Cumming deep inside you fucking himself through his orgasm collapsing on top of you.

You both laid there for a few minutes catching your breathes Eddie then snuggles his face in-between your tits. "Love you so much" he says lifting his head up looking st your face.

"Love you too" you reply stroking the hair stuck to his face behind his ear. "Can your weird friend please leave yet I wanna make u scream." Eddie says smirking. You lightly slap his shoulder. "Weirdo." HE pulls out slowly trying not to hurt you. He slides his boxers on walking off getting a cloth coming back and cleaning you up.

You hiss at the feeling. "Sorry princess" he finishes cleaning u up and throws the cloth in the corner of the room. Eddie lays next to you cuddling up. You lay there cuddling. " You can was you cum rag tomorrow." You giggle.

"NO its a cum cloth jeez get it right" he says smirking rolling his eyes. "Missed you" he says kissing you lightly. You knew you'd both been together all evening snd all thr other. But you knew what he meant. "Missed you too". "Love you princess" he mumbles in a sleepy state. With that you both fall asleep tangled in eachother limbs.

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The next morning Eddie wakes up and makes you breakfast completely ignoring Jill's existence still being annoyed at her.

"Baby come wake up now." HE says kissing your face. You wake up and smile at Eddie. "Morning lover boy" you say kissing him still half asleep. He buries his face in your neck. "Made you some breakfast. N before you ask I didn't make jill any." You feel him smirk

"'Ts fine sure she will get over it " Eddie gets up and pulls u up. You both walk put of your bedroom and you see jill sitting on the couch. Eddie goes to the restroom. "How'd you sleep?" Jill asks

"Really good actually and you?" You ask taking a sip of the coffee Eddie made you. She looks over at you. "Yeah yeah slept good. Oh I was hoping I could stay for a few more nights aswell is that OK." She smiles at you. But before you can answer.

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE"

You both turn your heads in the direction of the bathroom where Eddie clearly heard you from.

"Eddie will be thrilled as you can hear."