#i love the train ride because i get to see so many trees and plants (i hate it too because i get up at 5:30 to take it)

[angrycatlovesfandoms]

We don't talk about enough about how pretty almond trees are and it shows

[lesbolordo]

Viktoria the babygirl

This started as a harmless sketch. I ended up drawing all three years of Viktoria's time at Hogwarts (from 1868 to 1870).

Obviously, Viktoria was a Gryffindor.

Her uniform came from older students, because her family couldn't pay one for herself. Of course, when it got teared appart, she couldn't get it replaced and spent the rest of the year with a miserable uniform. Not like she really cared... She almost never wore shoes.

Don't ask what is going on with her hair. She never brushed it, and even so it was naturally wild before she finally managed to tame it down years late.

Although she was allowed outside late because her pack lived literally in the Forbidden Forest (they had moved just so they could be next to her), she spent a lot of time in the castle in her first year, exploring and finding treasures (bones and galleons to chew on.)

Viktoria wasn't liked at first, being the weird kid who barks and sniffs others. People began to like her in the middle of her first year when she broke her foot to save a kitty stuck in a tree. After that, she was really popular and had lots of friends.

She mostly hung out with the older students, but sometimes a first year would come and ask her for a ride on her shoulders or her back, and she'd run around the castle carrying them.

Sebastian the King of detention ? No, that's her. She spent her life getting detention in all three years. First because she was quite rebelious. Then because she didn't do the work. And last because she'd skip class.

In second year she began to learn hunting with her pack, leading her to beginning to miss classes. She had an accident in the middle of the year, leading to her having a scar on her lips.

She loved Hogwarts, but not enough to spend hours sitting still and quiet on a chair. And so, by the end of her third year Viktoria had already stopped attending under the advices of Professor Weasley.

Professor Ronen taught her how to shave after her facial hair began to grow a lot and quickly in the beginning of her third year, making her face a mess.

An older student taught her the Aguamenti charm. After that, she could often be seen outside watering random plants or animals, or even other students and herself in summer. They would all get in troubles for it, but she didn't care.

In transfiguration, Viktoria was quite good. But only to transfigurate objects into toys or bones to chew on. Matilda always encouraged her still. She was a bit disappointed when Viktoria stopped attending, but Matilda knew that it was for the best.

In History of Magic, she was the source of entertainment for the students during these hours of hell. She'd go wild after 3 seconds of Professor Binn talking. She was his nemesis and after her first year he stopped giving her detention or caring.

In Defense against the Dark Arts, Viktoria was good as long as you only put her against a training dummy, unless you wanted her to blow up something or someone... Professor Hecat was quite amused by her : also fascinated, giving she was a Lycanthrope.

In Charms, she was pretty good too. Professor Ronen had gotten the hang of it : she does the exercise correctly and she gets a treat or the right to go run around outside for the rest of the class. That's when it became obvious that her skills in magic were held back by her wild nature. She was a talented witch but had no desire to be such. She was Professor Ronen's favorite, and he still visits her from time to time.

She was forbidden to go to Potions class. Else she'd eat the ingredients.

Forbidden from going to any Care of Magical Creatures classes that included birds or animals with wings (Thestrals and Hypogriffs not included). No one knows when her phobia of birds began, but many know when some student's trauma from seeing her rip appart a Duricawls began.

We don't talk about Arithmancy. She could never even write down the class' name.

Magical theory was a no brainer, and Professor Fig had decided to give her private lessons so she wouldn't disturb the others, instead of just kicking her out of the class. His wife Miriam sometimes came by to have tea with her husband, and they'd invite Viktoria to offer her some treats and ask some questions about her life, out of curiosity. Viktoria loved Miriam. Fig never had the courage to tell her about her death.

Viktoria liked Muggle Studies a lot, she'd learn about a lot of weird objects and weird traditions or ways to live.

She could not fly a broom for the love of Merlin. She was terribly bad, and brooms hated her. During the three years in which she attended Hogwarts, the brooms constantly had dents or bite marks all over them. The culprit was never found...

She liked Astronomy as long as it was just staring at the stars, but even that bored her quickly.

Surprisingly, Viktoria was good enough at divination. Her imagination and open mind were strong enough to allow her to get good grades in the subject.

Studying Ancient Runes also was easy enough for Viktoria, thanks again to her ability to open her mind and imagine. She even began writing down a lots of things in Runes in her second year, and the Professor graded each of her personnal works to make up for her absences.

In Herbology, the plants were either scared of her or loved her. She pampered them a lot, and those who didn't like it would get eaten. Yep. Just, straight up eaten.

She didn't understand Quidditch but she loved the atmosphere of the students when there was a match or it was simply brought up in a conversation. Everyone seemed happy and excited, almost as much as her in their everyday life.

After beginning to attend Hogwarts, she told everything that she did to her pack, even showing some of them. Most weren't wizzards and witches, but those who were learned a lot from her, as they couldn't afford two kids going to Hogwarts. She was chosen because her mother was the pack leader, and also because she showed signs of great talent. Her talent was proven useless when she stopped attending Hogwarts, and her little teaching and showing to her younger siblings was proven useless too when they all died.

Isn't she the cutest ? Viktoria was so excited for her first year.

If you have OCs that attended Hogwarts from 1868 to 1870, this is for you lmao.

[lionellistuff]

June 16th, Arashiyama Bamboo forest and Iwatayama Monkey Park

Today started off as usual. I got up, and went to breakfast, and then I went to 7/11 for a coffee. Their coffee here is not rich enough. They just put milk in it. I really need the full six ounces of heavy cream I put in mine. we visited two places, Arashiyama Bamboo Forest and the nearby monkey park.

The ride was only about thirty minutes and I was able to get a seat on the train. Arashiyama forest was great. The feeling of being in the forest was so uplifting. The scenery by the nearby town and river really made me feel jubilant. I had a nice lunch of takoyaki and fried chicken, as well as a shaved ice with strawberries and condensed milk.

However, the hike up the mountain to get to the monkeys was gruelling. It was the Bataan death march. I was exhausted by the time I got to the top, but there was an empty bench with a great view of Kyoto, so I was good to go. We saw a lot of monkeys up there, my brother would be jealous. He loves monkeys. I agree, they’re pretty cool. These ones seemed quite friendly.

Academic reflection

Arashiyama forest and the Nonomiya shrine were sites in the Tale of Genji. I can see Genji, who was a real Cassanova, going to the shrine to ask for reprieve from his endless sexual frustration. a flawed character to say the least. He went to this place to have an affair with Lady Rokujo. However, the Tale of Genji is still a world renowned novel for its critique of elite Japanese court culture, and it was interesting and worthwhile to see the setting of some of the story as it is now. Not even the most holy shrine or most pristine forest could help Genji, though,

Arashiyama is also a special place because the forest here is essentially untouched. There are a few trails, and many tourists pass through the bamboo grove, but this is another great example of Japan’s rich vegetation in close proximity to a densely populated urban area. Only minimal human efforts to plant trees are conducted here. I think Japan’s natural beauty is second only to the U.S., and I think their forest management is only second to the U.S. as well, which is why we can enjoy natural landscapes in both places.

[brianinjapan721]

June 16 - Arashiyama

Today’s activities were the Arashiyama bamboo grove and the Iwatayama Monkey Park. After a 30ish minute train ride, we arrived at Arashiyama. The bamboo grove was spectacular. It was more beautiful than I remembered when I visited with my dad, probably because the weather was much nicer. We walked through the grove and stopped by the Nonomiya shrine. I enjoyed seeing this shrine, but needed to use the restroom, so Sumi and I had a side quest to find a restroom. We then walked along a huge river, which was very picturesque. I got some good juice along the way. A group of us then decided to eat at a vegan tofu place nearby. It was a very interesting meal; I had never eaten most of what was in the set in front of me and I didn’t even know what most of it was called. Although it was not really my taste, I enjoyed getting to have a cultural meal that I otherwise would not be able to have. We then ventured up a bit of an arduous climb to get to Iwatayama Monkey Park. Here, I fed some monkeys and watched them run around. The baby monkeys were the cutest.

The readings for today were a bit hard for me to get through if I’m being honest, but I appreciated the educational value of the topic of Arashiyama forest preservation. I found it interesting that the native plants to this area were not really mentioned to be bamboo at all (at least not that I can remember in the reading); rather, red pines, cedar trees, and cypress trees seemed to dominate the area before all of the bamboo was planted. Walking through the grove, I thought for a bit about how humans can bend nature to their will in this way, creating whatever we want to see in a natural area. I also did not realize just how many different legal designations this area has been through in its existence, which I found interesting. The other reading was related to one of the “love shrines,” Nonomiya-Jinju shrine. The reading was an English-translated excerpt from the Tale of Genji. This was cool to read about. I didn’t find myself thinking about it much during the activities today, but it is an important cultural text that nearly if not all Japanese schoolchildren must learn about and read during their school careers, much like we in America must read Shakespeare.

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.

[alaskasmonsters]

(Un)deserving | Nishinoya Yuu

requested by @kyonsh​: Hii! I was wondering if you could write a Nishinoya angst with a fluff ending, in which they are childhood friends but Nishinoya feels he isnt enough for her. The plot can change if you feel like it! Thank u so much just for paying attention to my request!

pairing: nishinoya yuu x fem!reader

w.c: 3.343

warnings: angst (with happy ending), noya being hella insecure

a.n: i wonder if i’ll ever manage to finish requests quickly...thank you for being so patient with me <3 i’m finally finished and i really hope it’s what you imagined and i hope you like it! :3 (it’s like 2 am lol (what is sleep).)

If Nishinoya Yuu had to describe you in 10 words or less he’d say: “The most important person in my life.” And he’d say it with his whole chest.

Since early childhood you’ve been by Nishinoya’s side, as his best friend, and he couldn’t imagine you anywhere else other than beside him. You were his partner in crime, his ride and die, his...too precious to lose.

The two of you had met in kindergarten, at the playground. Little Nishinoya had made it his mission to become your best friend after he saw you punch another kid in the face for making fun of a girl who kept bringing her pacifier, seated in between her lips. The kid had called the girl a baby and mocked her making fake crying noises, fists wiping at his eyes as he pouted and frowned. He hadn’t stopped, not even after the girl had started sobbing, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Nishinoya had gotten ready to be her knight in shining armor, standing to his feet tall with his chest puffed out, when you had already swept in. You hadn’t wasted any time and lunged at the boy, sucker punching him in the face.

Little Nishinoya had watched with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, the sight of a petite girl knocking down a boy older and taller than her had been absolutely world changing to him. In the matter of seconds, you had gone from “girl he goes to kindergarten with” to “most amazing person in the whole town” in his eyes.

You were cool! Not taking any shit from other kids, but you were kind and protective over your friends.

Ensuring your alliance had been of utmost importance to him, the top priority on his list of priorities. He hadn’t realized it back then, still too young and green behind his ears to understand the feelings already blooming in his chest, but he’d been smitten with you since then.

And when you’d agreed to be friends with him, because he was fun and you wanted to play pirates with him, little Nishinoya had lit up like a christmas tree. Since that day he’d stood a little bit taller than before.

That was the first of many times he’s received some kind of approval from you. You liked to give compliments, especially to him (and that wasn’t making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside! No!) But the feeling he’d get when you did, the warmth he’d feel enveloping his whole body and the feeling of growing a little taller with every nice word you fed him, nourishing to him like water to a plant, never dulled.

With you next to him he had felt like the tallest boy on the playground.

You’d been best friends ever since and still Nishinoya couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d won the lottery of life, whenever you’d show up to one of his volleyball games wearing his, his, sweater or every time you’d laugh at one of his joke and you’d laugh at all of them! Even the bad ones.

He felt so lucky that you’d chosen him back then and never gone back on it. Why you’d chosen him he had no idea, but he wouldn’t dare to question it...

If Nishinoya Yuu had to choose one reason why he’d fallen in love with you, he’d remain quiet.

It would have been a betrayal to his feelings for you if he’d spoken up since everything you did and everything you were, all your little tics and habits and quirks, everything that made you so blatantly you, was why he’d fallen so deeply he’d never be able to recover from it. There wasn’t a singular reason, it was all of them.

He’d fallen in love with your different smiles. The way your lips quirked up when you were watching their team train, the soft curve of your lips when the two of you were being silly with each other, the wide stretch of your mouth when you were so happy you could run and dance and scream. He knew what all of them meant and he thought of every single one of them as beautiful.

He loved your silliness. He loved your excitement. He loved your annoyance. He loved your frustration.

The face you made when Nishinoya let his indifference towards his grades show, all scrunched up and displeased, he loved that one, too. And then you’d scold him because if he was performing badly in school he wouldn’t get to participate in the training camps!

He loved that a single nudge to your side could turn you into a giggling mess.

He just loved you...

If Nishinoya Yuu had to name his biggest fear, something he was feared more than anything else, he’d say: “Losing Y/n.”

It was the same answer as to the question of why he hadn’t confessed his feelings to you, yet, told you how he felt, asked you to be his girlfriend.

Because he hadn’t.

What was he so afraid of? Nishinoya, the boy who’d chosen not to be afraid of anything because fear was a waste. Fear stopped people from learning and growing, gathering new experiences and gaining more knowledge. It’s a lesson his gramps had taught him.

So why did he let fear stop him this time?

Well, it was pretty simple.

You were you and Nishinoya was...Nishinoya.

You were well liked by everyone, since you were smart and pretty and honest and kind. You could probably get every boy you wanted in Karasuno High, there was no reason for you to choose him

He was too loud and too passionate, he knew that, and not exactly popular with girls either, partly because of that. Girls didn’t like him because of his height, being 5’3” wasn’t exactly what most girls imagined the ideal height for their boyfriend. They’d rather go for someone like Tsukkishima or Asahi, although those two were awfully awkward with receiving the affections.

You didn’t seem to mind his loud personality or his small built. After all, you were his best friend. Though, Nishinoya couldn't possibly imagine you found it endearing (in a romantic way) or dare he think even attractive.

You were cute, adorable actually, and he wasn’t on your level.

You were pretty, so beautiful and he wasn’t on your level.

You were the most amazing girl he’d ever had the honor to meet….and he wasn’t on your level.

He didn’t deserve you. Not in the way he wanted to deserve you.

He wanted to be good enough to be by your side, not just as your best friend but as something more. He wanted to hold your hand while walking home, kiss your cheek, call you his girlfriend.

He knew he stood no chance, Nishinoya was fairly optimistic and too ambitious for his own good, but he knew when it was time to back down. You would never see him as more than just your best friend and even if you did, you deserved better than him.

Realizing this hurt, a lot, the thought to never be with you...it ripped him apart. Thinking of you smiling or laughing at anybody elses jokes, wearing somebody else's sweater...it made anger swirl through him, hot and unsettling and ugly.

So he put a plan into work, a bad one admittedly, but it was better than no plan at all. He’d try to keep his distance, just for a little while, until those feelings he harbored for you eventually faded into nothingness. He hoped it would hurt less then, him and you, since he wouldn’t be pining after you anymore and you weren’t in danger of him possibly spilling his feelings to you and putting you into a situation where you were forced to reject him.

You wouldn’t like that, you were too kind, knowingly hurting him would end up hurting you just as bad. He wanted to prevent that.

Keeping his distance made sense. It would spare the both of you a lot of pain.

He’d been wrong about that, very wrong...

If Nishinoya Yuu regretted one decision he made in his life more than any other it would have been this one.

The look on your face was heartbreaking, as you stood before him, in front of his door. He couldn’t be all too happy to have you here after weeks of barely talking to each other. Your eyes were red and puffy and your lips were trembling, but you stood before him with your back straightened and your chest puffed out, just like you always did when you were afraid.

Nishinoya’s heart sunk in his chest when he noticed.

“Noya?” your voice was soft, almost swallowed by the wind.

He hated hearing you sound so scared, hated the crack in your voice. He couldn’t stand it.

“Why are you avoiding me? Is it something I did?”

So you noticed. Of course you noticed. You weren’t an idiot, no he was the idiot. For not being able to push those nasty feelings aside that were slowly eating away at him.

He averted his glance, shifting until he’d found a crack in the mural he could focus on, anything was better than having to look at your sad face.

He couldn’t stand it.

“I’m not avoiding you...”

He knew you wouldn’t buy it, not when he sounded this dishonest and looked all uncomfortable and clenched up. You were smarter than that.

You frowned at him, angered by his denial of what he’s so clearly done. Which was ignoring you, for weeks that was. And he hadn’t been very subtle either. No, Yuu had kept making up excuses, telling you he couldn’t hang out with you because he was busy with homework (not a very believable excuse), or he had to visit his gramps (usually you’d go with him?) or he had to help his mom with groceries or...there were too many too count. And all of them had been bad.

During school, he had talked to you less. He’d find excuses not to eat lunch with you as often or convince you it wasn’t necessary to watch the boy’s volleyball training all that often. Usually you’d stayed almost everyday after school, heck, you were an honorable manager at this point, before Yuu had started acting weirdly around you that was.

At first, you’d tried to push feelings of concern and worry away, thinking maybe Yuu was just having a weird day...or week maybe. But your best friend hadn’t stopped acting strange and he hadn’t stopped reducing the time you saw and spoke to each other to a bare minimum.

And now you were standing in front of his door and he was acting like nothing was wrong at all?

You wouldn’t just keep on ignoring this.

You pushed past him and inside the house, quickly throwing your shoes off and stomping to the kitchen, letting your bag drop to the ground near the counter. You turned around to see Yuu had followed you, looking at anything but you. Such a coward.

“Talk to me!” you urged him, your voice still hoarse from all the tears you’d shed because of him.

The boy let out a heavy sigh, scratching at his neck as he tried to find another excuse to tell you. You just knew it, you could see it in how his eyes still refused to meet yours.

“It’s nothing, Y/n. Look, I promise.”

New tears pricked at the inside of your eyes, daring to spill over because damn this was so frustrating.

“Yes, it is something! Tell me!”

“No, really it’s-”

“Tell me.”

“I swear it’s-”

“Tell me.”

“Y/n!”

“Nishinoya!”

The boy froze up, his eyes darting up to stare at you in shock. You held his glance, happy you had at least made him look at you properly, although the weight of his glance felt heavy as his eyes began to look glassy.

You had never called him by his last name before.

Nishinoya bit his lips, clearly distressed now that he realized how hurt you really were by his unjustified avoidance of you, that despite your silent submission to his distance you hadn’t been okay with it, in the slightest.

He reached out to you, the urge to be close to you and cheer you up again was huge, but you turned, denying his touch. He let his arm drop unceremoniously to his side again.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled because he was.

This had been a stupid plan. He should have never gone with avoiding you in the first place, not when he should have known it would probably lead to this…He thought he could prevent both of you from getting hurt, but his approach had achieved the complete opposite.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Yuu,” you started again, rubbing your cheeks to remove the wetness the tears had left behind.

He hated seeing you cry,

“I can’t.”

“Why not? We don’t usually keep secrets from each other.”

“I just can’t.”

Your shoulders dropped a little and you looked away, instead staring out of the window.

“Oh,” you sounded discouraged now, tired even.

Nishinoya was afraid of losing you, he’d rather hack off his arms and say goodbye to his healthy limbs than say goodbye to you. That’s why he would never tell you about his feelings, because if he did he’d end up losing you. Not immediately, but in the end he would. You didn’t return his feelings and although you’d surely be okay with staying friends it would soon become awkward between the two of you. You would hang out less, talk less until you were just strangers who were once best friends.

The thought was depressing but necessary to motivate Nishinoya to keep quiet.

“No, screw that!!

Your angry voice ripped him out of the spiral of dred he’d found himself in. He blinked, shaking himself out of his thoughts, eyes falling to your face automatically.

It was all scrunched up, your eyes twinkling with determination. It was the same face you had made just before you had punched that boy on the playground back there and for a second he was sure you’d do it again. Punch him for being so stupid and hurting you. He would have deserved that.

You didn’t.

“Even if you can’t tell me you still should! You’re my best friend, we always tell each other everything and i don’t want that to change!”

Your hands were clenched to fists as you stared him down, daring, no challenging him to respond. But Nishinoya found himself unable to.

Your words left him feeling cold, the dooming realization that whatever he’d do, refuse to talk or admit his feelings for you, the dynamic between the two of you would forever change, washed over him like icy water

You wouldn’t just take his silence. If he didn’t talk, didn’t tell you the reason, the real reason why he avoided you, you wouldn't forgive that. Not purposely, but a part of the trust you shared would forever be gone. On the other hand if Nishinoya spilled the beans and told you that he was in love with you for quite some while and had avoided you to try and make those feelings go away before they could ruin your friendship...he couldn’t even imagine how you’d react.

You wouldn't be happy. Would you be scared, sad, empathetic? He didn’t know which would be worse.

“Yuu, please!”

He didn’t have a choice. He had to tell you. That was the only possibility he had that might lead to a better outcome to the first one. He just had to be straightforward with you, you'd appreciate that.

“I love you.”

A little too straightforward.

You stared at him in silence, face blank. Before he could regret his words and paddle back Nsihinoya straightened his back and puffed out his chest, hoping he’d gain just as much bravery doing that than you always did.

“I love you and I have for a while,” he continued, standing a little bit taller than before, “I didn’t tell you because i didn’t want to pressure you or make you feel guilty for not feeling the same, so i avoided you. I thought maybe it would get rid of the feelings, but I still think you’re the most beautiful and smartest and kindest and funniest girl I've ever met and that probably won’t change either.”

You were still only staring at him so Nishinoya decided he’d just go on.

“Every time I'm with you I feel like I'm the tallest person on the planet. You make me feel strong and brave and like the best version of myself. I know i’m not your type and i know i don’t deserve being with you, that’s why i tried the avoidance thing, to make it less awkward but now-”

Nishinoya hadn’t caught you moving until suddenly you were standing right in front of him. The words died on his tongue as he was met with the look in your eyes, unshakable and sparkling with a confidence he’d never seen with you. It had rendered him speechless.

There was no hesitation in your movements as you reached up to twist your fingers into his shirt and pulled, no... yanked him down until his lips were tightly pressed against yours. His heart skipped a beat, no several beats, as he was frozen in his shock. Hot and cold shivers ran down his spine in time your lips started moving against his. Softly. Uncertain.

Then you pulled back again, just as his brain started catching up to what was happening. Your cheeks were flushed and when Nihsinoya tried to meet your eyes you lowered your head to stare at his chest instead.

“You’re such an idiot, Yuu. Saying stupid things like that,”you murmered and he saw the tips of your ears turn red.

“You kissed me,” he had blurted it out before he was able to stop himself.

You huffed, your fingers tightening their grip around his shirt and Nishinoya realized in amusement that you were embarrassed at your own straightforwardness.

“You kissed me!” he repeated, the confidence slowly returning to him at the premise that you must return his feeling to do something as bold as kissing him….on the lips!

“Shut up, I know,” you whined, hitting your forehead to his chest.

It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulder, like the invisible thread that had been separating you before, one only Nishinoya had been able to see had been severed. You had kissed him after he told you he loved you.

You returned his feelings!

Nishinoya hugged you, eyes wrapping around your form with ease and his head resting on top of yours, your face still hidden in his chest.

“I love you,” he repeated softly, testing the words once more and felt you visibly relaxing in his arms when his voice reached your ears.

“I love you, too,” you replied quietly, words muffled against the fabric of his shirt but still it was enough for him to hear.

He pulled back, just enough so you couldn’t hide your face away anymore and he grinned at you, a grin you’d return with just as much intensity. You really were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

“I can’t believe you kissed me just like that,” he teased you, remembering how bold of you that was.

You playfully hit him in the chest, whining once more, but Nishinoya just laughed gleefully at the blush gracing your cheeks, before he leaned closer again. Close enough so both of your noses almost touched. Your eyes went wide and he could swear you stopped breathing, too, for a second. Nishinoya watched your reaction in amusement.

“Do it again!” he whispered, the challenge made your face light up again.

And you didn’t let him tell you twice.

If there was one moment Nishinoya Yuu would never want to stop it was definitely this one.

Taglist: @crystal-lilac​

[amphxtrite]

harry potter x fem!reader

warnings: ⚠️tw⚠️ suicide, substance abuse, blood, suicidal thoughts, alcohol, depression, anxiety, breakdowns, kissing, overall pure angst with a fluffy ending.

currently unedited please excuse grammatical mistakes

summary: A summer changes the girl harry potter fell in love with, leaving her with more pain than she’d ever admit.

a/n: there are many things in here that may be triggering, please consider the warnings before reading.

word count: 6k (writing this really helped get my feelings out)

taglist: @oldschoolkiddo

please message me to be added to my taglist

enjoy <3

__________________________________________

Rushing down the Hogwarts halls, bags slung over your shoulder and sun shining through the windows, you scour the crowds of students leaving Hogwarts for summer vacation, trying to pick a familiar brunette with green eyes.

Rounding the corner, you spot three gryffindors chatting by a stone pillar and run towards them, crashing into one of the boy’s backs.

“Guess who?” You giggle, feeling Harry’s chest vibrate as he chuckles.

“Hm, I don’t know, is it Hagrid?” He teases, running his chin as Hermione grins. “Nope.” You laugh, popping the ‘p’

“Is it Dumbledore?” Harry tries again, placing his hand over yours and stroking his thumb over your fingers. “Afraid not lightning.”

“Well then, perhaps is it y/n?” Harry turns, wrapping you in his arms as you laugh and hug him back.

“Are you guys ready for summer?” You ask, glancing around at Hermione and Ron before glancing back at Harry.

They all bore similar expressions, small smiles with a ‘maybe’ face. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’re off to save the world over summer too.” You sigh, releasing yourself from Harry’s arms and walking to Ron to give him a hug.

“We won’t get in too much trouble.” Ron chuckles, patting you on the back and letting you walk over to Hermione.

“We just never know at this point.” She shrugs, squeezing you tightly.

“Well I’ll meet you guys on the train!” You smile.

The ride back to your platform was as it always was, the trees whipped by and swayed. The sky was lined with puffy white clouds. The snack trolley passed and you bought yourself a chocolate frog and some ‘every flavour’ beans to share with your mom when you got home, a tradition as they were her favourite, and because she needed a little happiness with you off at school and your father gone.

Sitting back and sighing. The golden trio finally arrived at your cabin and told you about their summer plans. Hermione was travelling, Ron was staying home and Harry was staying with the Dursley’s until he could ‘find a reason to escape to the Weasley’s’ as he put it.

The train arrives at your stop and you grab your bags to leave.

“Write to me if you can, all of you, and I’ll see you next year.” You smile, walking back over to Harry and planting a quick kiss to his cheek, ruffling Ron’s hair and kissing Hermione’s forehead.

“Bye y/n!” Ron and Hermione chime.

“Bye thunder!” Harry calls as you turn again and wave. “Bye lightning, bye guys!” You smile, rushing off to the train.

“So you finally told her?” Ron chuckles, patting Harry on the back.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“We know you like her mate, and she just kissed you on the cheek!” Ron continues.

“W-Well maybe I do fancy her, but she gave Mione a kiss too!” Harry stammers, his face going as red as his uniform.

“That was platonic Harry, we can tell she likes you, lightning.” Hermione teases using your nickname for him.

“Listen, I don’t want to jump to conclusions and creep y/n out. She’s an amazing friend and I’d like it to stay that way.” Harry smiles, looking off into the distance to see you still walking away.

“Even if she does like you back?” Ron questions.

“Well you don’t know if she does.” Harry sighs, rolling his eyes.

Your eyes scan the station for your mother, swiveling your head back and forth to find her but only seeing other families being reunited with their children.

Pursing your lips you sigh and wait for a moment. Hoping and praying that this year would be different, and your mother would come running to you with open arms. Seconds fade to minutes, and soon the station is almost empty as excited parents rush home to hear about Hogwarts adventures.

You pull your luggage behind you as you walk to the front of the station and hail a muggle cab, leaning your head against the cool window as the pink skies shine above you, the driver makes no move for conversation, so your drive is silent, and when you finally reach your old house, you hand the man driving the rest of your muggle allowance and nod him goodbye.

Your house was looking as quiet and calm as you had left it.

The flowers you had planted last summer had wilted, the porch sat empty and the stairs still creaked as you approached the door. Home.

You smile as you turn your key in the lock and push open the door, setting your bags on the floor as you set out, candy in hand in search of your mother. The kitchen sat empty with only the soft hum of the refrigerator suggesting someone still lived here. The living room was empty, the old leather couch seemed to be collecting dust and the tv looked like an ancient artifact with the cobwebs strung on the sides. As you ascend the stairs to the second floor, you notice the blinds to every window suspiciously closed. Odd, your mother usually enjoyed watching the sunset.

The floorboards beneath you give high pitched creaks as you walk across the hallways, something you had always despised, especially as a child trying to sneak sweets in the early hours.

Pushing open your mothers bedroom, your eyebrows furrow as her bed laid neatly made, with not a thing out of place. The usual mess of pill bottles and plastic bottles had been cleaned, the pile of clothes had disappeared and she was still nowhere to be found. A sense of dread bubbles in the pit of your stomach as you push on, checking her closet and even your own room for your mom, but nothing.

You turn around with a plan to head to town and see if she was visiting the pharmacy for her pills again, or maybe the grocery store, heck, maybe she had stopped at the corner store for cigarettes again. You turn to shrug on a jacket and leave, but as you reach for the front door knob again, your head snaps up and your blood runs cold.

“No, no, no. Please no.” You repeat to yourself, running up the stairs with tears in your eyes and you approach the one room you had yet to check. The one place your head told you she was, but your heart refused to believe. There was no way it could be true. She’d be opening the door right now, the sound of keys clattering on the table in the kitchen would alert you she was there. She’d say, “I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up, work was awful today.” And she’d proceed to pull out her groceries so you could prepare your favourite meal together, after dinner you would sit on the couch and you’d tell her all about your school girl crush on Harry Potter and she’d tease you as she popped a jelly bean into her mouth and give you the best motherly advice you could ask for. You pause at the closed door and pause, waiting for the door to open, waiting for the sound of footsteps, even the sound of breathing, anything.

You’re met with silence, and in the exact two hundred and sixteen seconds you stood outside the bathroom door, tears began to cloud your vision as you finally opened the door, counting another ten seconds before opening your eyes.

The first thing you saw was your mother, eyes closed and face unusually pale as she lay in the bathtub, and for a moment, you almost convinced yourself she had fallen asleep.

That is until your eyes trailed down her body, and where the water turned red. You drop the jellybeans and everything goes blurry.

“No…” You whimper incredulously, not realizing you had fallen to your knees until the pain in your legs registered and your eyes flooded. Her skin was littered with scars, ones she obtained from her job, harmless ones that healed with time. Beside them were what you cried for. Large, angry gashes that covered her wrists and stole the life from her.

Your face contorts into a hateful cry as you scream, pain flooding your entire being as the metallic sting of blood floods your nose and you gag.

Words seem to blur together, a mixture of ‘why’ and ‘come back, please.’ Seemed to be the only ones that came out coherently as you collapse and slam your fists repeatedly against the floor.

“Mommy, why did you do this? Why did you leave me?” You sob softly, hesitantly touching her face, ice cold to the touch, a quick check of her pulse showed she was gone, but you could tell from the colour still draining from her face that this was recent. Another choked sob escapes your lips as you turn away from her and spot something sitting on the bathroom sink. A letter.

You scramble to grab it and tear it open.

Y/n, if you’re reading this, you’ve gotten home safely and seen me by now. Please know this isn’t your fault love, I just couldn’t bear this anymore. You know that ever since your father left I’ve struggled, you were the only reason I still wanted to stay alive baby, but it’s too much. Everyday I wake up and I have no reason to stay. I was fired not too long ago, lost all my friends to my absence, and lost everything.

Please forgive me. I love you so much, angel, and I’m so so proud of you, I’m resting now baby. I’m finally free.

The paper starts to crinkle as your hands tighten to fists, your tears spill like rivers down your face and your breathing grows rapid as your head falls into your hands.

“P-Please don’t go… You’re all I have, I-I can’t lose you.” You sob, pushing her hair back against her forehead in the soothing manner she had always done for you.

“Please, please, please. I can’t lose you mom… I-I still haven’t told you about this boy at school, t-the test I aced in potions even though professor Snape hates me, all the house points I got, mom there's still so much I have to tell you…” You sniffle, pressing a kiss to her head as you sit back on your heels and push the tears from your eyes to no avail.

“I got your-your every flavoured beans mom, I was hoping we could share them as I told you, maybe I would get an earwax one and you would laugh.” You stutter as the tears flood your eyes again. “I miss your laugh so much mom, please, can I hear it one more time.” You beg, refusing to move from your spot on the floor next to your mother, holding her head in your arms as you begged and prayed for her to come back, going as far as to try and perform magic to heal her wounds and bring her back.

But even magic couldn’t bring her back, and she’d want more for you than to be expelled for uselessly trying to save her.

Eventually the metallic scent became more than you could bear, you pushed yourself away, swallowing your sobs and closing the door behind you. You had no clue what you were going to do with her, but that would be a problem you’d face another day. Your breathing began to race, your heart pounded a million miles a second and the overwhelming feeling of being trapped settled around you, squeezing you into a box you could not escape from, pushing from all sides until you were clawing at yourself to escape your imagined prison.

It was too much. You run down the hallway to your mother’s room and collapse in front of her cabinet, trembling as you tug open the bottom drawer and grab a small cylindrical container with her name on it.

You knew this was a terrible idea, these were strong muggle painkillers meant to help a grown adult, not a teen.

But the looming dread was too much to ignore, too much to bear, too much to even think about. Your mother’s lifeless body flashed through your head, painfully embedding itself into every inch of your memory until it burned.

You pour an unknown amount into your hand and throw them into your mouth, swallowing them dry and collapsing onto the floor in a fit of anger at your actions and pain. Pain so blinding it swallowed your rage, filling your entire being with a convulsing sadness, and as the meds began to kick in, an artificial peace.

New sunlight shines through the closed blinds onto your closed eyes and you finally stir, sitting upright holding your head in your hands, clueless for a moment what you were doing on the floor. Scanning the room, the burning memory hits you like a punch to the face and you freeze, resisting the urge to empty whatever sat in your stomach onto the floor.

“What am i going to do?” You murmur to yourself, glancing around helplessly for something, someone to hold on too, but alas, you sit alone, clutching a pill bottle in your hands.

You eventually snapped to your senses, called a muggle ambulance to help you get your mother out of the tub and before you knew it, you were standing in a flowerless field as two workers lowered your mother into the ground. They offered you condolences and convincing frowns, but to them this was just another job. One more person laid to rest, no care to know what tragic story was buried in the heart of the one person standing at the funeral.

They left without a word you stood at the headstone, engraving the image into your mind.

‘m/n l/n, finally at peace.’

You convinced yourself reading those carved words would have your feelings set in stone. She was at peace now, finally free from her suffering. But it wasn’t that simple, how could it be?

The last family you had ever known was gone, ripped from your arms and held so far above you, there was no possible way you could reach her.

You trudged back home with a permanent feeling of dread looming over you, again your heart begged to have the pain lifted, even for a moment, just to feel alright. And there was only one way you could think of.

“This always helped take the edge off her…” You murmur, digging through your mother’s drawer again to find an untouched box of cigarettes sitting at the bottom.

“This will help…” You convince yourself, taking the box and standing again, slowly trudging out the front door and sitting on the front porch.

“Everything’s gonna be okay.” You murmur lifting a cigarette to your lips and lighting it like you’d seen your mother do many times before.

Inhaling deeply, you barely flinch as the smooth taste of smoke coats your throat. You exhale as you look up into the sky and sigh, it was going to be a long summer.

It almost became an immediate response for stress to pull a cigarette from your pocket and stick it in your mouth, you didn’t particularly enjoy it, but in a twisted way, the smell reminded you of your mother, and you clutched onto anything that reminded you of her.

When you didn’t have cigarettes you turned to alcohol, your mother hadn’t been much of a drinker, but gifts of different drinks were common when her friends came over were common, and they sat untouched in a cabinet in the basement.

The taste of many of them were bitter, but if you drank enough the taste simply didn’t matter and the buzz took over.

Letters from your friends slowly piled on your window as owls came and went as you threw back fire whiskey and stared into space talking to yourself and shooing away the owls who stared at you strangely before flapping away.

When you weren’t at home you went into the small town nearby and bought anything advertised to take the pain away, no one seemed to pay you any mind, many seemed to be going through it as well, to caught up in their own realities to give a shit about a girl buying sleep medication and painkillers, no matter how strong.

You dove deeper into your pain, taking something every night to lull away the nightmares and ignore the pain. Drinking and smoking in the day to cover the tears and help you forget for a couple hours.

Some days were better than others, when you could just sit outside and enjoy the fresh summer air, but others your anxiety caged you up and you did anything to escape.

One late August afternoon a snowy white owl lands beside you on your front porch as you twiddle your thumbs and hum softly.

It drops the letter directly onto your lap and waits staring up at you expectantly as if asking you to open the envelope and read it to them.

“Alright, I get the message.” You yawn, sitting up and ripping the paper off the top of the letter and pulling a piece of parchment into your hand.

You clear your throat and begin, “dear y/n..

I hope you’re doing well, you haven’t responded to any of my letters yet and I’ve been very worried, Ron and Hermione have told me you haven’t been answering them either and we’re all hoping you’re safe. School’s starting up again and I’m looking forward to seeing you, take care.

Harry Potter.”

The owl looks at you again, and you wondered if it actually thought you were going to respond.

“Sorry pal, I’m not writing anything back. Here, for your troubles.” You nod, placing three knuts in front of the bird. The snowy owl looked down at the money oddly before ruffling his feathers and flying away, leaving you alone once again.

“Harry.” You sigh, sipping on a glass of water. You had completely forgotten you had promised to write to your friends over the summer, almost forgotten your life completely as you tried to focus on keeping yourself alive.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” You sigh, setting down your cup and resting your head against your knees.

Summer blew by much faster once you realized how close the first day back really was, but there you were standing in the empty street hailing a cab to travel back to your station.

You pull your sweater closer to you as your leg shakes furiously and your breathing grows rapidly blowing through every possible bad scenario that crosses your mind. The disappointed faces of your old friends, laughter, teasing, each thought clouds your thoughts. A cold sweat breaks out and you can almost feel yourself slipping when a voice pulls you out.

“Um, miss? We’re here.” The cab driver says, glancing back at you worried.

“O-Oh, thank you.” You clear your throat, handing him his payment and stepping out of the car and grabbing your suitcase.

Taking a deep breath you wipe the sweat from your forehead and walk to the magical platform, bracing yourself as always before stepping through the brick border.

Loud and bustling, you quietly walk towards the Hogwarts Express, but instead of walking to your usual compartment where you knew the golden trio would be sitting you strode all the way down to the back of the train and sat in an empty seat.

Glancing around, you make sure the coast is clear before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, instantly feeling a rush of relief as you take a deep breath in and out.

You watched as the trees disappeared behind the window and the sky shone above, but it didn’t feel right. You didn’t get the usual rush of excitement and joy, in fact you almost felt worse the closer you got to Hogwarts. You close the blinds hurriedly and sit back in your seat.

“No I-I’m sure I saw her come this way.” A voice calls out not too far from you.

“Harry, We’ve been down this way three times already!”

Harry.

“Fuck.” You whisper, pulling the hood of your sweater over your head and keeping your eyes trained on the floor.

“Mate we gotta get changed into our uniforms, we’ll see her at the feast.” Ron sighs, probably pulling Harry away as their voices fade away and you’re left alone again.

You curse yourself for hiding. Why were you hiding from the people you loved? What were you so afraid of?

The answer lay plain as day, no matter how hard you tried to ignore it.

You were afraid of them seeing you like this. Broken down, exhausted, and with a cigarette sticking past your lip.

That did remind you, your uniform.

Covering the compartment windows with your jacket, you quickly swap your hoodie for your collared shirt and a tie. Running a brush through your hair you menatlly prepare yourself to re-enter your life, a life that no longer seemed like yours. Stepping off the Hogwarts express, it felt like you were seeing your past life, a flash of familiarity you no longer knew, a warmth you could recognize that was no longer for you.

You recoil softly at the shiver running down your spine, but push forwards, walking along surrounded by the sea of students.

Reaching where the carriages usually were, you look up expecting the usual strangeness of being pulled by an invisible force, but stumble backwards at the sight of a dark, nightmarish horse standing before you.

It’s eyes seemed to narrow, glaring daggers at you that seemed to pierce your very soul. You quickly climb into a carriage with some random  students and stare out the windows the entire ride.

Their quiet chatter is drowned out by your thoughts, coming up with a way to avoid the golden trio at all cost seemed to be a top priority, followed by the need to down some firewhisky to get your mind off everything.

You kept repeating to yourself everything would be okay, just make it up the stairs, around the pillars, dodge anyone that seemed to be walking in your direction and hurry up to your dormitory. Collapsing into the bed that was now called yours you sigh and bunch the blankets into your fists and breathe properly for the first time since you left your house. Your roommates had yet to show and you were grateful for the alone time. Your hands finally stopped shaking, your sweat finally stopped and your breathing evened. You finally work up the strength to unzip your suitcase and pull the small container of firewhiskey you had brought out of your bag. You unscrew it and take a small sip, allowing the burning liquid to slowly take your edge off and calm you down. You sat for a moment nursing the bottle against your lips, contemplating whether or not it would be smart to go down to the great hall for the feast. You were starving and needed food, but you couldn’t face anyone in this state. Glancing at your faint reflection on the window you swallow at the unfamiliarity of the person staring back at you. Where had the happy girl you once were gone? And who was the stranger you were looking at? Your summer had been restless and difficult, of course. But had it really been enough to shake you to the point you didn’t recognize yourself?

What a stupid question. You almost laugh to yourself, tilting your head back again and drinking a little more. Drinking was supposed to take your mind off your situation, not have you overthink even more.

After a while of sitting and glaring out the window you finally pick yourself up, tuck away your firewhiskey and straighten your uniform. You make your way down towards the great hall, walking slowly down the halls you used to run through. Staring in boredom at the carvings and paintings on the wall you used to admire with awe. Keeping your mouth shut when you used to laugh down these corridors.

Finally reaching the great hall the sorting ceremony was still in full swing, playing as a distraction while you slipped to your table.

You sit and nod hello to the students surrounding you, giving them empty excuses on why you were late, and half-heartedly listening to their stories.

Your only thought at the moment was to eat and keep your head down, become invisible if you must.

Harry glances around the great hall anxiously looking for your face. He had barely touched his food, hardly clapped at the new students being sorted into their houses, barely talked to Hermione and Ron as they watched Harry worriedly.

Harry had only one thought on his mind, find you. See if you were alright, hug you in his arms and tell you he missed you, ask you about your summer and ask you to Hogsmeade like he was too afraid to last year. He had so much planned, all he was missing was you.

Just as Ron opens his mouth to tell Harry to quit for a moment and just eat, he catches sight of familiar h/c hair. Longer than he remembered, but no doubtebly yours. Standing in a hurry Harry runs off leaving Ron and Hermione confused, glancing over to see where the brunette had run off to.

Your head snaps up as you hear footsteps approach you and just in time you see Harry running towards you. His green eyes were alight in joy. His tousled brown hair was shorter and he looked older, more mature. Your heart drops as you frantically try and hide your face. He couldn’t see you like this, what on earth would he think?

“Y/n, there you are I’ve been looking for you!”

Bloody hell, his voice had gotten deeper too. Still holding that boyish grin that you loved so much.

“Y/n? A-Are you okay?”

Go away. You pleaded in your head, refusing to look up into the green eyes you’d fallen for.

Harry refuses to give up and attempts to reach out and take your hand.

His skin makes contact with yours and you flinch away, finally giving in and removing your hands from your face.

“What do you want?” You snap unintentionally, cringing inwardly at what you had just done.

“I-I just wanted to say hi-- are you alright?-” Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows, was that firewhiskey he smelled on your breath?

“I’m fine, could you please leave me alone?” Your voice is softly this time, but still with a cold edge.

Harry’s eyes blink in confusion, as he glances around and open and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. This was not the reunion he was expecting, heck this didn’t seem like you at all. Regardless, he nods and slowly walks away, looking back every now and again to see you holding your head in your hands and eventually standing and leaving in a huff, were those tears he saw streaming down your eyes?

“Did you find her mate?” Ron asks as Harry takes a seat.

“Yeah-yeah. Listen, something's wrong.” Harry states, explaining the confrontation he had with you. Slowly the two other gryffindors expressions fade to concern as well.

“And you’re sure it was firewhiskey?” Hermione questions, pursing her lips.

“I’m afraid so, I-I don’t know what to do.” Harry sighs defeated.

“Give her some time, perhaps she just had a bad day?” Ron suggests.

“Sounds more like a horrible summer.” Hermione sighs, worried for her friend.

“I’m gonna go look for her, I don’t want her alone at a time like now.” Harry nods, not waiting for his friend’s reactions before running off to find you.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You curse yourself, unsure where you were running too. You simply follow your feets as you angrily wipe tears from your eyes and cry in the empty hallways. As you run the image of Harry’s shocked face plays over and over again in your head, taunting you, trying to prove to you what kind of person you had become. Your feet lead you down another corridor and before you know it you’re climbing up a flight of stairs and fighting for breath while digging your fingers into your hands to keep yourself from sobbing to loudly. You had let him down. You had let everyone you love down, you let your mother down, you let yourself down. Maybe if you had spent more time at home your mother would have found a reason to stay, if you just didn’t go to the magic school and stayed with her she’d be alive and there to guide you. You miss her so much everyday. You collapse onto the cool ground of what must have been the astronomy tower you glance down at your hands and realize you’ve been squeezing too tight and hot blood is beginning to flow down your palm. You gag as the sight brings you back to the beginning of the summer. The start of your hell. Instinctively you pull a cigarette from your pocket and bring it to your lips, lighting it and before you know what you’re doing, walking to the edge of the tower.

There wasn’t anything left for you here. Your mother was gone, you had successfully avoided your friends and the person you loved had seen you for who you truly were. You were ready, and you couldn’t think of any place you’d rather go then your favourite place at Hogwarts.

The place you’d spent so many nights gazing at the stars. The place you’d realized you had fallen in love, looking into the green eyes of Harry Potter while watching the planets shine above you and the stars twinkle.

Harry, the person you were so excited to tell your mother about. The boy who made you smile and laugh every day you were with him. You would miss him. Miss his smile, his tousled hair you loved to play with, miss his voice.

As you take one final drag from your cigarette, your feet just over the edge, you look up towards the sky. You see the moon shining, the trees swaying in the distance, nature in all it’s peace, calling to you.

A feeling like your mother’s arms wraps around you, and for a moment you can see her, feel her. “I’m coming mom, we’ll be together soon.”

Taking a step forward you look down at the ground, almost smiling softly before looking back up at the sky, where you’d join your mom and--

“Y/n!” A pair of real arms wrap around you and pull you away from the edge. Squeezing you against their chest and sobbing into your hair.

Why were they crying? Why weren’t you with your mother yet…?

“Y/n what are you doing?”

Harry. You realize, and as he raises his head and you come eye to eye, you see his eyes clouding with hot tears behind his glasses. You lift your hand and wipe them.

“Why are you crying?” You ask, dropping your hand again and realizing you had accidentally smeared blood on his face.

“I-I could have lost you! What were you doing so close to the edge?” Harry asks, pleading for answers as he holds you close against him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” You smile as though he had just asked the silliest thing.

“There’s nothing left here for me. My mother’s gone, she killed herself when I got home for summer. My dad left us when I was just a baby. I’ve managed to get Ron and Hermione to stop worrying and you’ll never like me back.” You sigh, looking down at your hands and reaching into your pocket again.

“What? Y/n, I-I’m so sorry.” Harry murmurs, placing his forehead against yours as you raise a cigarette to your lips.

“S’ alright.”

Harry’s eyes widen and he slaps the cigarette from your lips.

“You’re drinking and smoking?” He shouts.

“I’ve got painkillers and sleep medication too, anything that’ll get my mind off things.” You shrug, struggling in Harry’s arms as you try and escape.

“Y/n, these things are going to kill you!”

“Good! Maybe I want to die Harry! Maybe I can’t take being alone anymore, and maybe I know these things will kill me so I use them. I want to see her again Harry! I want to not be alone, I want to erase everything I saw, I want to be me again.” You cry, lifting your hands to your face and using your bloody hands to wipe your tears away.

“But I can’t! I still go back to smoking, drinking, using pills to take the pain away and I still. Can’t. Forget!” You continue, bawling into Harry’s shoulder as he holds you.

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore.” You shriek, trying again to escape Harry’s grip, but he refuses to let go.

“Darling look at me.”

You don’t stop.

“Please Y/n, just look at me.” Hary pleads again.

When you don’t stop this time, he finally gives in and leans towards you. Ignoring the blood, tears and taste of smoke, to  press his lips to yours.

You freeze and Harry keeps himself there. Waiting for your breathing to even out and your heartbeat to stop racing.

Your eyes close and you pause as Harry finally pulls away and takes your face into his hands.

“Y/n, you mother wouldn’t have wanted her daughter to go like this. She would’ve wanted you to be happy and live the life she never had. Darling, from the way you’d always talk about her I know she loves you very much, she doesn’t want you to die.” Harry murmurs pressing a kiss to your eyes and nose.

“Ron and Hermione were worried about you y/n, they just respect your privacy and didn’t want to intrude.” He continues drying you tears with his thumb and peppering kisses down your cheeks.

“They love and care for you so much love. They don’t want you to die.”

Harry pauses for a moment and lifts your lips to his, this time deepening the kiss and moving your lips in sync with his.

“And I… I’m in love with you y/n. I wish I’d had the guts to tell you sooner but I was always too nervous.”

“But look at me now Harry. I’m a mess. I-I’m not the same person.” You murmur, trying to avoid his intense gaze.

“Y/n nothing could ever change the fact I love you. You lost your mother, you can’t expect yourself to just be alright.” Harry sighs.

“I still get nightmares about my parents, I see them collapse and have the life drained from them in mere moments.”

“Y/n after everything, you’re my light. You’re what keeps me motivated everyday to keep going. And I’m not going to let my light die if I could have stopped it.”

You pause and choke back a sob as you glance up into Harry’s eyes and once again melt into the soft green.

“I’m here for you darling, always and forever, whenever you need me, whatever you need, we’ll support each other.” Harry smiles.

This time you engage the kiss, grateful as you relish in the pure moment of happiness.

“Thank you Harry.” You smile weakly.

“Now why don’t you tell me about your mom?” Harry suggests, sitting you down and pulling his wand out of his pocket.

As you ramble on about childhood stories, funny jokes and happy memories Harry smiles and listens, healing your hands and holding them in his.

You spend the rest of the evening laying against his shoulder and gazing up at the stars. Harry places kisses against your head, cheeks and nose every now and again, and even though you knew there was still a long road to walk before you could truly say you felt change, you smiled a little and realized.

Nature wasn’t calling you join it, it was reminding you of the beauty you would be missing. The stars weren’t inviting you up, they were shining to show all the wonders you loved.

And your mother wasn’t embracing you from afar to push you forwards, she was edging you back. Back into Harry’s arms.

[prof-peach]

If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

[carnegiemuseumnaturalhistory]

What Do Botanists Do On Saturday?

by Sarah C. Williams

Here in the section of Botany we’ve adapted in some strange ways, just like plants do, to the changes of the past year and a half. Let’s learn about the off days of some of our Super Scientists in the Section of Botany!

Mason Heberling, Assistant Curator of Botany

Collecting specimens has become a focus as more time was able to be spent in the field when we weren’t allowed to be at the museum. As our new Botany Hall entrance video shows, Assistant Curator of Botany, Mason Heberling and Collections Manager Bonnie Isaac collect plant specimens on a pretty regular basis. They also snag iNaturalist observations for these plants, taking photos that show what the plant and habitat looked before being picked and pressed.

Mason studies forest understory plants, in particular, introduced species and wildflowers in our changing environment. Mason has a bunch of fun projects going on this summer, ranging from coordinating seed collections of an uncommon native grass to send to Germany for a large greenhouse study to working with a team of students to study the effects of climate change and introduced shrubs on our forest wildflowers.

In addition to work in the field, the herbarium has been a busy place this summer too! Mason has been working with Alyssa McCormick, an undergraduate research intern from Chatham University, to examine stomata (the pores on leaves for air exchange for plants to “breathe”) and leaf nutrients in everyone’s favorite plant – poison ivy!  Poison ivy has been previously shown to grow bigger and cause nastier skin rashes with increasing carbon dioxide in our air due to fossil fuel emissions. Alyssa is using specimens collected as long ago as the 1800s to examine long term changes in poison ivy.

Mason, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“This summer has been a lot of going to various places around western PA like Presque Isle or Idlewild to get out and enjoy the fresh air with my family. I can also be found most Saturdays around the house doing chores!”

Bonnie Isaac, Collection Manager

Bonnie, one of CMNH’s TikTok celebrities, and All-Star in the Mid-Atlantic plant world, has spent a lot of the past year doing fieldwork. Her PA Wild Resource Grant involved looking at most of the populations for 10 Pennsylvania rare species. She and husband Joe Isaac spent many days on the road and a few in the bog! You can see some of her videos about these unique Pennsylvania finds on Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s Tiktok account: @carnegiemnh.

She diligently keeps track of various data points from latitude and longitude and elevation, to flower color, size, and associated species within a habitat. In addition to trying to make sure the plant names in our database are correct, she has also been busy georeferencing some of our specimens so that we can see on a map where each one was collected.

Bonnie, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“On most Saturdays I am either home taking care of my many chickens or getting some exercise in one of my kayaks with my spousal unit, Joe. I sometime even take a fishing pole for a ride or see how many different kinds of plants I can find on a hike. As long as I can get outside with Joe, I’m happy.”

Cynthia Pagesh, Herbarium Assistant

Specimens make their way home to the museum, where we assure they’re bone dry, flat as a pancake, and have been frozen twice to get rid of any pests. They then find their way into the nimble hands of Cynthia Pagesh, our resident plant mounter. Cynthia has luckily been able to do some mounting both onsite and at home over this past year, really honing her craft. She uses Elmer’s glue, dental and sculpture tools, linen tape, and a paintbrush akin to a magic wand: transforming roots, stems, flowers, and fruits into scientific and artistic renderings on an 11.5x16.5” archival herbarium sheet.

Mounting can be very detailed and challenging: wrangling a dry and brittle rare plant you want to salvage every detail from, or an oversized leaf ‘how-will-this-all-fit?’ ordeal, or finessing a delicate petal that glue is especially heavy on. Bulky bits, crumbly bits, spiky no nos: Cyn handles them all. Her work is just as much an art as it is a science. When she’s not making masterpieces, she’s probably doing something with plants.

Cyn, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“You can find me on Saturdays helping prune young trees in my community, collecting wildflower seeds or in my kitchen making preserves or homemade pasta noodles.  I volunteer in vegetable, herb and flower gardens.  I have a pollinator garden at home and raise Monarch caterpillars.  I tag and release them to migrate south.

There are lots of Community Science projects for people of all ages: ask someone to help you find one related to a subject you have an interest in.  I have an interest in pollinators including bees.  I participate in a Community Science Project every Summer that counts types of bees on certain plants when they bloom.”

Iliana DiNicola

After another stint in the freezer for bugs-be-gone, it’s everyone’s favorite day: Picture Day! Each plant: sturdy and mounted, all data logged and super official, makes their way to the imaging station to spend some time under the bright lights. Since 2018, students, interns, and volunteers have lovingly held these plants’ hands as they get their close ups. We take high definition photos using a specially made lightbox and special software.

While this is part of a limited project, called the Mid-Atlantic Megalopolis, we are still hard at work going into our last year of the time we were given. This past schoolyear and summer, former Pitt student, Iliana DiNicola was taking pictures for us on the regular while also interning with the Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy. She just graduated and I’m excited to hear what she does on her Saturdays in the future.

Iliana, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“I just graduated from the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in Environmental Studies, and I am now on the lookout for any jobs related to the environment back in my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. I am interested in working with anything from sustainability, to policy or political work, or maybe even something more related to ecology and outdoor work.

On a Saturday, I am definitely helping clean my house since I am a semi-clean freak, I love to go hiking if the weather isn't too hot, enjoy drawing and working on any art projects, or work on my future hydroponics garden.

As somebody who interned for Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy, I highly recommend participating in any camps or activities the conservancy has to offer. It was super fun learning more about Pittsburgh's history and ecology and getting to teach kids about these topics, alongside participating in fun outdoor activities.”

Sarah Williams, Curatorial Assistant

Next up, Sarah Williams, the Curatorial Assistant in the Section of Botany, is overseeing the digitization project, morphing the photos from raw camera files into smaller files for sharing and detailed files for archival storing using Adobe Lightroom. She takes the images from the newly photographed specimens and makes sure they get uploaded onto the Mid-Atlantic Herbaria Consortium’s website to be shared far and wide across the world.

There is also a lot she does in sorting, filing, and taking care of the specimens as well. She does a bunch of scheduling, hiring, and training of work study students, interns, and volunteers. We consider her a jack of all trades.

Sarah, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“Most weekends I work with a local catering company called Black Radish Kitchen. I usually end up serving delicious vegetable and farm focused meals at least one day a week, commonly Saturdays because they’re prime for celebrations. The re-start up since the pandemic has been cautious, and I’m excited to be amongst people and help them to make mouthwatering memories again. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for over a decade and the skills I’ve learned doing it as well as the friends I’ve made are matchless. It has a big piece of my heart.

I also moved into a new house this year about five minutes from my mom, so if I’m not running to say hi to her and ‘borrow’ some groceries, I’m doing laundry, dusting and yardwork… but only after I sleep in, eat some delicious breakfast with my partner, and hang out with our two cats, Santi and Gil.”

We hope you enjoyed getting to know us here in the Section of Botany, look forward to updates and more introductions in the future as we continue to host volunteers, federal work-study students, and interns on their journeys to learn even more about the plant kingdom.

Sarah Williams is Curatorial Assistant in the Section of Botany at Carnegie Museum of Natural History. Museum employees are encouraged to blog about their unique experiences and knowledge gained from working at the museum.

[pillow-anime-talk]

mistletoe. {pt.1}

synopsis: A little joke on Giyuu, making gingerbread cookies with Edward and a date with Ryouta.

# tags: scenarios; christmas!au; current relationships; romance; fluff; sfw

includes: female reader ft. giyuu tomioka {kny} + edward elric {fma} + ryouta kise {knb}

part two {click}

author’s note: for @yvsevie​, my precious smol baby. i love you.

— GIYUU

It was the first Christmas you spent as Pillar, as Giyuu’s girlfriend, and as teacher of your first and also last tsuguko. You didn’t mind spending Christmas like this; frankly, could anyone think of feasting at the moment when bloodthirsty demons and other strange creatures were running around each villages or towns? That’s why you spent your time training in your estate with a young boy who would replace your Ice Pillar position in a few next days, weeks, months or years.

“... We should take a short break, right?” You asked, seeing your successor breathing harder and harder. “I’ll go get something to drink and you can sit on the engawa.” You put your katana into its scabbard and then headed towards your home. However, when you entered the small kitchen, you chuckled at the sight of Giyuu who was sitting at the table, drinking his coffee as if he were at his own home. “Well, hello. Why didn’t you say ‘Hi’ to me earlier?” You asked, taking out two glasses.

“You were training, so I didn’t want to disturb both of you.” He replied calmly, setting the black mug on the wooden table. “Are you two finished yet?”

“We’re taking a break.” You poured cool water and then you stood in front of your dark-haired lover. “You would like to sit with us?”

“Yes, why not.” He smiled gently, then walked with you towards the entrance to the pretty, snowy garden.

When you got outside, however, your frowned as you determined that your heir wasn’t in the garden. Instead of his light blue haori and long blonde hair always pinned up in a ponytail, you noticed a little, white note. So, you picked it up quickly and read the content on the paper:

‘Sorry, sensei! I forgot that I had to help my mom bake a cake for Christmas! So see you tomorrow.

PS. Look up :D’

You frowned, and when you looked up at the wooden roof of your engawa, your cheeks automatically flushed a bit at the sight of a small sprig of mistletoe attached to a wooden beam with a thin string. Giyuu glanced at the same place, and seeing the little plant, he only smiled slightly under his breath.

“Your successor is quite funny, don’t you think?”

“Yes. It is true. He will replace me very well.” You giggled, letting your mouth taste the flavor of coffee and something sweet that you couldn’t identify at first.

Nevertheless, this little joke made you feel the magic of Christmas, despite the lack of a Christmas tree or gifts, and you were incredibly grateful to your beloved student for that.

— EDWARD

“... Edward! Stop throwing flour at me!” You looked imploringly at your fiancé, and he just giggled as he looked away at the huge, metal bowl in which he mixed hot water with powdered sugar to make frosting to decorate your cookies. You sighed softly under your breath, then returned to kneading another dough with your hands. After a while, however, you felt the white dust, commonly known as flour spread around you one more time. “E-Ed! Please!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

“Do it again and I swear you’ll sleep naked outside.” You spoke in a serious tone of voice, even though both of you knew you would never let him freeze to death, much less during the holidays, even more the first holidays that were supposed to be full of guests.

Alphonse and Mei with the smol panda were to appear! Also Roy with Rize and dear major Armstrong. Of course, Winry with her boyfriend, her grandmother and their cute dog were also invited. Gracia with Elicia cannot be forgotten. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis too and even Ling Yao with Lan Fan as well. There were supposed to be many of your loved ones, so you had to make just as many food, cakes and cookies. And Edward didn’t make it easy for you, because instead of helping you, he was throwing flour, sugar, cocoa and edible, colorful sprinkles or glitter at you.

Like for example now; once again you felt something hit your head and it turned out it was a handkerchief, rolled in a small but quite hard ball. So, your hands  slowly backed away, then you wiped them on your red apron and you turned just as slowly towards your boyfriend, smiling at him as if you were telling him you were going to break his neck or crush his long legs. Edward, however, only chuckled and then walked closer to you with the same dumb smile he always had on his lips when he knew he had done something silly but funny.

“Sweetheart, don’t be upset. Christmas isn’t the time to fight! Better look up, my pretty angel.” His broad smirk made you sigh again loudly and loosen your tense arms. Nevertheless, you looked up and the first thing you saw was Edward’s hand holding a small twig of green mistletoe. You glanced at him again, laughing to yourself.

“How old are you to still play this?” You rolled your both eyes and was about to go back to your dark dough, but the blonde man grabbed your waist and pulled your body much closer to his more muscular one. He placed a tender, quite long kiss on your lips, and when the caress was over, Edward rested his forehead against yours.

“I’m old enough to still giving you stupid reasons to keep kissing me.”

— RYOUTA

“It’s... It’s so beautiful here.” You whispered under your breath as you looked around. “W-Woah. I...”

Kise took you for a ride in his car, however, two minutes ago he parked the car on the side of the road and then grabbed your smaller than his hand saying he had a little ‘surprise’ for you. Of course you went with him and it turned out to be a breathtaking view of the city, all lit up with colorful lights and sweet decorations. It was also snowing a bit so everything looked even more magical. You were incredibly surprised, of course most positively.

That’s why you turned to smile at the blonde-haired young man, and he only returned your facial expression, but then coughing delicately so that you would open the shiny eyes you closed a few seconds ago.

“You have a gorgeous smile and I love it the most in the world, but I think...” He started quietly, suddenly taking something green from his coat pocket. After a second it turned out to be mistletoe. You chuckled under your nose and your loved one looked at your flushed face again. “I think I deserve more, princess. All the more so because it’s Christmas day... You know.” He said in an amused, but still gentle and emotional voice, at which you only giggled again, standing on the tips of your toes or rather your shoes, to be able to reach his pretty face, and more precisely to his lips which tasted of coffee and chocolate-nut cake.

The kiss was slow, but very warm, and although your lips were cold due to the temperature outside, this peck gave the two of you a lot of heat on your hearts and cheeks. You even smirked during this wonderful caress, grabbing the boy by his soft, pale skin. The fabric of your wool gloves tickled Kise a little, but he didn’t pay much attention to it; instead, he kissed you once more, but this time on the nose that was red from the cold, and on the forehead, covered in the material of the cap, perfectly matching your gray gloves.

“... Thanks for showing me this, Ryouta. It’s really, really amazing.” You whispered, glancing once again at the colorful and white lights that decorated your whole city, including all the trees, buildings and houses. “I didn’t expect to see something like this in my life.”

“Then get used to it, because next year I’m going to take you to many other equally cool places.” The sincere tone of his smooth voice, and another short kiss on the cheek, made you cuddle closer to the side of his massive body.

In meantime, you still watched the magnificent sights and thought about where you both should go next time.

[moccahobi]

Dancing in the Rain Pt. 1 [Namjoon x Hoseok]

Member: Namjoon (BTS) x Hoseok (BTS)

wc: 1.9k

Summary:  Namjoon lived in a small town. He loved it. It had just enough going on to give him fun when needed and not enough going on that he felt overwhelmed. On top of that, it was only a three hour train ride to Seoul where he met with his publisher and many of his friends lived. It was the best of both worlds. His life gets a bit more interesting when a mysterious bleach blonde with a heart shaped smile enters his life. 

genre: Slice of Life, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff

warnings: lying about one’s name

a/n: this fic is part of @whipped-kpop-creators​ project “a whipped summer” project! I used the prompt “warm summer rain” and heavily relied on their amazing playlist!

Next Part

The rain.

Namjoon loved it. 

He especially loved it in his new area. When it rained, everyone rushed to get to their locations and there was a park nearby that was always void of people when it rained because of that. Normally it is filled with students out of school and friends enjoying picnics, especially during the summer, but when it rains, it’s like everyone hides away and he has the whole park to himself. 

Namjoon walked around the park, slowly looking around at the emptiness. His phone (in a zip-lock bag) awkwardly sticking out of his jacket pocket, a reminder that he had less than an hour to enjoy the warm rain today. He had to get back to his apartment and be chained to his computer in meetings soon, but for now, he was enjoying the rain. 

When he finally got to the park, he slipped his sandals off, making a b-line for the soft grass as he started to meander. The warm rain was a soft, comforting blanket that quieted his mind and in that moment he just was. There wasn’t a meeting in an hour (his alarm would remind him when he needed to return). There weren't any intrusive thoughts. There wasn’t anyone else he had to handle. No parents. No friends. No one. 

It was just Namjoon and the sheets of rain that were coming crashing down.

The park’s animals had hidden away from the rain. Namjoon could just barely see a few of them peek out from holes in trees and under bushes. Part of him wanted to walk closer, tip toe on the sharp mulch, and try to interact with the animals. He knew they’d run away though and Namjoon didn’t want to spend his time chasing after something that would just run away. 

He didn’t care to do that during this special time he had.

Rain was common in this area, it was part of why he moved here, but the warm summer rain that covered him like a blanket was less common and he wanted to savor it. 

His peace was shattered at the loud sound of someone singing further down the path. Part of him seethed at this disruption. The park was peaceful before this and now someone was singing some peppy song and in the distance he could see them dancing as well. Another part of him, and the part that won him over, was curious as to who this person was. Namjoon had lived here for two years now and this person wasn’t someone he recognized and this town wasn’t known for their tourism so this had to be a new person living here. Slowly, Namjoon walked towards them, eyeing them cautiously. They had bleach blonde hair and a wide smile that grew as they kept singing and dancing (it was more of a series and sways and twirls but Namjoon digresses) and Namjoon was struck. 

The rain kept on pouring down but Namjoon was no longer focused on how it felt on his skin, instead his mind was stuck on the man in front of him. He stared on until the stranger stopped singing, their arms wide as if waiting for cheers and applause. 

And Namjoon obliged. 

He didn’t clap because clapping in the rain was hard but he spoke, his voice sounding rough to his own ears, “That was really good. You should think about going professional.” 

He tried to smile but he’d spent so much time brooding and focusing on his writing that the act felt foreign and forced to him. The stranger’s eyes flew open in shock as he eyed Namjoon up and down, his arms slowly falling to his side.

“Thanks. I just might.” His voice sounded smooth and soft as he shyly tucked some wet hair behind his ears.

“I am Kim Namjoon. Are you new to town?”

He nodded and smiled broadly, “I am new. It’s Ju- Kim Taehyung. Yeah… Kim Taehyung.” 

Namjoon nodded along slowly, taking in the baggy and bright clothes Taehyung wore, “Nice to meet you. When did you move in?”

“Uh… last month but I travel a lot so I haven’t had time to really explore…  I really wanted to visit… the local book store but then the rain happened and I just…” He looked around and shrugged, “I couldn’t help myself. The rain is so nice and I don’t get to just enjoy it enough.” 

“Yeah. I love the rain here. No one is out, well almost no one,” Namjoon said with a laugh, “It’s a good time to just walk and be.”

“Oh! Did I disturb you with my song then?” 

Namjoon shook his head and Taehyung’s smile seemed to grow larger, a heart seeming to form from how big his smile was, “Well then, care to dance with me in the rain some?” 

A sadness washed over Namjoon when he finally made it back to his apartment after an hour of dancing with Taehyung. With each sopping step he took deeper into his apartment (at one point stopping to wring some of his clothes out over his plants), he felt a pit of despair growing heavier in him. His legs felt like led and arms slow as he changed and prepared for his meetings. His time with Taehyung today was short. Too short. Dancing in the rain wasn’t what he had intended to do, but the warm rain and his boundless energy fed Namjoon and now all he wanted to do was run back out to Taehyung and continue dancing. 

He had work to do though.

Namjoon could only hope for two possibility:

He comes across Taehyung again in the neighborhood.

Next time it rains, the two meet again. 

Namjoon didn't know which he’d prefer, but in the end, it didn’t matter. He didn’t see Taehyung for a whole month. It was as if the man disappeared off the face of the earth and even though Namjoon didn’t know the man well, he missed him. Plus… he might have felt a little hurt that Taehyung hadn’t gone looking for him after their dance. There wasn’t a time when Namjoon caught a glimpse of bleach blond that he didn’t perk up in excitement. And each time he was more disappointed to have to relearn how bad his eyesight was.

Did Taehyung do the same when he saw a head of black hair? 

Namjoon really hoped so. 

Frustration pooled in his stomach as he left for the train station, a suitcase trailing behind him. It was a crisp morning and he was being forced to go up to Seoul for meetings with his publisher. Normally he enjoyed trips to Seoul (he had previously lived there and it still held a soft spot in his heart), but he wanted more chances to see Taehyung around. He’d just moved in and was bound to be out and about town at some point. 

And Namjoon was going to miss it because his publisher couldn’t hold a few meetings over zoom. 

Hell. Namjoon even suspected that one of them could be an email.

His frustration fermented to disappointment as he looked out the train’s window longly, the town growing smaller all the while. Planning to get together with a friend of his, reading, writing, responding to emails. None of it worked to take his mind off of Taehyung. When the train finally stopped at a station near his hotel, Namjoon was utterly exhausted and dreading all the meetings that were coming. 

The only bright side was that he would be meeting with a friend of his, Seokjin, before he left. 

When he finally entered his hotel room, he took his shoes off, dropped his keys down, and fell onto the bed. He had no energy to do anything at all. All through the walk to the hotel, Namjoon struggled to pay attention to where he was supposed to turn (he barely had the energy to keep an eye and ear out for people near him, let alone his location).

Bless his phone for providing him with the directions that he was mostly able to follow. 

His meetings came and went in a blur despite how painful they were. Almost all of them could have been emails or zoom calls. Just as Namjoon suspected, there was no real need for him to come back to Seoul. All throughout the meetings, his frustration simmered and by the time Seokjin and him met up for dinner, Namjoon was full on venting to the poor man. 

They’d started out catching up but the second Seokjin asked why he’d returned to Seoul, it was like a dam had been released. He hadn’t intended to return. He didn’t want to return. Sure it wasn’t a long trip and he would be back home soon, but he was missing prime time to meet Taehyung again. He wanted to get to know the mysterious blonde who sang in the rain more and his work was proving to be a real hindrance to it!

The more Namjoon delved into his vent, the more occasional laughs left Seokjin before the man was full on cackling. Despite Seokjin laughing like a maniac (or maybe because of it), Namjoon enjoyed his dinner with him. It took him back to when they were both in college and would only meet once in a blue moon due to being at different colleges. The times when they did meet, the two of them would make the best of. From parties to concerts to cooking classes, they always tried to do so much. 

A soft sigh left Namjoon as he watched the waiter walk away with their checks, “Hyung. Is there… like some sort of music event happening tonight? I don’t want tonight to end yet.”

Seokjin snorted at that, “I think that there is something happening in an hour. Yoongi was talking to me about it last night. Let me text him to see if they still have some seats.” 

Yoongi didn’t have seats available though so Namjoon found Seokjin and himself getting some soju and wandering around the streets of Seoul. They mostly just people watched while meandering through streets and occasionally stopped to watch and dance at busker stations (always leaving some sort of tip when they did). Despite not having a concert to attend, they still managed to dance and enjoy good music. 

Drunk Namjoon probably also argued that they had a better time than at a concert where they would have been more crammed in than around a busker. Seokjin simply laughed and listened to his drunken rambles. 

During one busker's performance, Namjoon became hyper focused on an advertisement being shown on a building. It was for some random hair care brand but the brand itself wasn’t what had drawn his focus. It was the man in the ad. 

Sloping nose. 

Soft looking hair.

Heart smile.

Taehyung.

Except… when the ad ended, it didn’t say Taehyung’s name. It said Jung Hoseok. 

Namjoon tried to brush it off and enjoy his night with Seokjin but he kept being distracted by ads that Taehyung… or Hoseok was in. 

Hair care.

Chicken.

Sprite. 

He was in a lot of ads. 

If Seokjin noticed Namjoon getting distracted more, he didn’t comment, instead stopping to get more soju and dragging Namjoon around Seoul more. The next morning, Namjoon was on a train back home, nursing a piercing hangover. In spite of his hangover, Hoseok was practically running around in his mind. The man was more of a mystery to Namjoon than before and a whirlpool of conflicting emotions sloshed angrily around his mind as he tried to think through his next interaction with the man. Nothing should change. Hoseok was still the same man as before just with a different name and Namjoon got why he would lie and give a fake name. A random stranger walking in the rain isn’t inherently the most trustworthy person… but…

Namjoon lost his train of thought.

Next Chapter

[liquid-luck-00]

Connections 5

Chapter 5

this is based on @thepeacetea daminette soulmate au

Masterlist *** First *** Previous *** Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette is now 7 and this is Mari’s first time back to Paris since the fair.

---

Summer break was always a pain and that was because she spent it with only Jean-Pierre and in her suite in the hotel. Chloe wouldn’t ever leave the hotel because she was the daughter of Style Queen and that meant she had a reputation to maintain. Except that all changes when Marinette comes to Paris.

That girl is the person who knows Chloe, other than a rich stuck-up brat, but that doesn’t mean other kids know that.

“Clo are you in” the little noirette called as she walked in, but she was different the bottom half of her midnight hair was bright purple just like her dad’s and it suited her.

“Mari-bug!” the blonde ran into her friend and hugged her. “That’s new” she said as she flicked her best friend’s hair.

The girl giggled, “yeah dad and Penny let me do it when we started the tour, I like it” the noirette laughed and Chloe smiled.

“it looks good” Chloe smiled; I can’t do that mom would freak. “So, any plans on how to sneak out this time?”

Mari smirked and shoved a backpack at her friend “Of course!”

“You are ridiculous…”

“Utterly ridiculous. I know” she was then pushed into another part of her room by the girl. “Now get dressed”

---

Chloe walked out in a pair of yellow gold leggings, under a dress that fell to her knees it faded from the bottom a silver to white at the top and was splattered with gold. She wore black flats and her hair was in her signature ponytail.

“This isn’t much of a disguise Mari” the blonde stated.

“Well not yet it isn’t” Mari pulled out a silver can with a black cap. “Now hold still” Mari was tugging the blonde’s hair and spraying it and when she finished most of her friend’s hair was black save for a few streaks of her golden hair. “How does it look now” the bluenette smirked, as she watched her friend’s reaction.

“If I add some glasses no one will know!” The blonde was jumping with joy as Mari reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of black glasses with bees along the legs and two golden bees in the corners.

“Like the Queen Bee you are” Mari stated as she looked at her friend. No one will be able to tell this is Style Queen’s daughter. Chloe is now just another regular Parisian kid and Paris is not going to know what hit them.

“What about you Mari” as soon as her friend said that she smiled and walked into the other room. When she walked out Mari was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a red shirt covered in black spots. On top of it she wore a dark grey cardigan that fell to her knees, and a pair of black and red high tops. She finished by putting her hair in two space buns tucking the purple away and rearranging her bangs to fall from a center part. “Wow, a bee and ladybug are amount to storm Paris” Chole remarked. Oh, how right she was although she didn’t know it.

“Then let’s go Bee”

“Alright Bug” the two girls ran out of the hotel and made their way to the park. For the three days Mari spent in Paris everyone was talking about the chaos that was brought by the ‘Ladybug’ and the ‘Bee’ as they seemed to draw everyone’s attention. In the span of three days the two planted orange tiger lilies that covered every school potted trees, they snuck into an made a cameo in her dad’s interview with Nadia Chamock, and they somehow managed to make every bird in Paris land on the Eiffel Tower. They didn’t even try to do it, they just wanted to feed the pigeons but soon every bird in the city was there. By the end of the week the ladybug and bee were nicknamed the Lilies of Paris.

Summer was too quick to end but Mari didn’t seem to mind. That just meant that she would be returning to Gotham and would be with her brothers. Not to mention that they were in essence training her when she was with them.

---

Most of her time with the boys was mainly spent with Dick. She and Dick would parkour all around the cave and she was a natural at gymnastics. She got the hang of her yo-yo when transformed and that was when they noticed that her strength and stamina was off the charts compared to other children.

She and Tim would mostly work on hand to hand combat but that mostly resulted in Tim on the floor, while Mari stood triumphant.

Bruce specifically tried to keep Mari from Jason, in fear that he would teach Little Mari how to shoot. But his attempts were in vain, to his credit Jason didn’t show her how to shoot a gun but how to disarm and disassemble different gums in a safe way. That was actually pretty good thinking and he should have thought of that.

To Bruce’s astonishment, or he should really say utter horror, little Mari loved Jason’s motorcycle. It got to the point that not even Jagged could argue whenever Jason picked up Mari from school on his bike. Both he and Jagged swear that Jason is going to end up teaching her to ride before either of them teach her to drive. Jason just loves the fact that Mari loves to ride with him, and Bruce doesn’t oppose this as Jason is always more careful whenever she is with him, or around them in general.

Bruce could tell that this little pixie, yes even he admits that he calls her pixie, has changed the entire family. He would however not let her out as the Ladybug holder in Gotham, but she was adamant on changing their suits and crafted them. Hell, he knew she was a wizard with design but even he was shocked at what she could do. What that girl could do with a needle, thread, and Kevlar reinforced fabric and armor plating was amazing.

He would force her to even make some for their daily lives. Dick, Tim, Alfred, and Himself had gotten several suits that were damn impossible to tell what they were made of. Jason got several more casual outfits and many leather jackets. Mari even made herself several outfits, particularly her favorites were legging that she wore with her uniform and when she rode with Jason. It came to the point that Bruce practically forced Mari to only wear reinforced clothes for her protection, thankfully Tikki was on his side and she did, the only exception was her uniform.

---

Mari was never a normal kid and that much was evident, it wasn’t until she and Tikki were talking during a stay at Wane manor when she was 9 that everything came to light. Alfred walked into the room and that was nothing out of the ordinary, but it was Tikki that changed his perception.

Tikki was floating in front of Miss Marinette, looking sad and trying to comfort the child. Alfred immediately went to the girl and noticed what was happening.

“Miss Mari” he tried to get her attention, but she simply stared straight forwards. The family began to come into the room and silence permeated the manor.

That was when she stared at Jason with tears running down her face, “J… Jay… Jay-Jay why are… why are you covered in chaos magic” everyone was staring at the girl quiet as they realized what she was saying. “Why are you covered in magic from the Lazarus Pit?” the collective in the room were shocked no one made a sound. As Alfred looked around, he even saw Tikki shake in what appeared to be a mix of sadness and fright.

“How do you know that name, Mari?” the little god spoke finally breaking the silence.

“I” she looked around seemingly unsure if she should continue “I just heard it, I saw it, it was it was like a ritual”

“Tikki is this normal for a miraculous holder” Bruce asked attempting to take the attention from little Mari.

Tikki simply shook her head “No it isn’t. seeing the Lazarus arura is for a Ladybug, but this knowledge is not normal…” then she simply stared at the girl. “Mari do you think?” the question was left unfinished, but the meaning was not lost on Mari.

Miss Marinette looked shocked and seemed close to tears. Resigned she finally spoke “it might be, it’s the most logical” after this the child went silent.

“What does this incur exactly?” Alfred spoke from kneeling beside Marinette.

The little god seemed to think before finally stating “Her soulmate” that left everyone quiet once again. “Mari knows how to fight, that much you know but what you don’t is that she has never had any type of training. The same goes for several languages she has never studied, she can read a person’s body language without any difficulty, and now this.” the little goddess states. The boys simply stare at her.

Bruce kneeled down and pulled Mari into a hug. And seemed to whisper something into her ear. Her eyes widened in surprise before she began to cry, and she was taken into Bruce’s arms and they walked out. The next thing Alfred knew was that it was loud, and the boys began to rush after Bruce. They finally found him in Mari’s room speaking softly, to softly to overhear, that they had to open the door but were met with an icy glare and left.

Next

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Taglist🐞🦇

@thanks-captain-obvious @mandy989  @our-preciousss @readingismyoxygen @birdy912 @shifty-lesbian-retro-goblin @todaylillypads @laurcad123 @deamonangel27 @be-happy-every-day-please @fandom-trapped-03 @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @t1dwarrior-of-earth @saays-bitch @kawaiigiantjudgefish @k-poplunardreams @animegirlweeb @animezodiac707 @weird-pale-blonde-person @myazael @toodaloo-kangaroo @moonlightstar64 @miraculous-simmer7 @wannajointhecrabcult @blackmagicforever @iamabrownfox @inkattbi @i-wanna-be-a-ninja @justcourttee @consumeconstantly @abrx2002 @livelifeauthorstyle @certifiedbidisaster @dreamykitty25 @ironspiderstark @fantasyislive @ertyzeta @dast218 @susiej1118 @sassakitty @lilyreadbooks12 @dawnwave16

[drwcn]

... You know, I was just thinking about Hua Mulan ChengQing AU. Hahah, ha. This movie is SOMETHING. Handkerchiefs are necessary.

oh I HEARD? but idk if i wanna see it. I’ve seen other things Liu Yifei (Mulan) was in and i don’t really like her? 

NOTE: OKAY so there were some confusion!!! Before ppl get offended, anon and I are taking about two different movies. The one that anon is saying is good is Mulan (2009) an original Chinese movie BC I had been asking ppl where to watch it and received many inbox msgs about it. The Disney film is what I won't be watching for so many reasons, including bc I know the actress's work and is just unimpressed by her in general on top of all the other reasons.

Oh boy, but like...what IF it’s reverse!Mulan, aka matriarchal society. Where Jiang Cheng is the “sneak into the army for my family c”!Mulan and Wen Qing is the “I wanted to be a doctor but then the Fire Nation exploded in on itself”!Shang. And I worldbuilded for no reason...

tw: minor character death (suicide). un-beta-ed, unedited, unproof-read, we die like nmj

WEN QING

Wen Ruohan was never supposed to be the Emperor, Wen Qing’s mother once told her, but the imperial court had allowed him to inherit because his late Empress Mother had no daughters to inherit the throne. As long as WRH promised to father daughters and pass on through them, then the Wen dynasty legacy would be preserved. 

“What did his wife say, that her children must take his last name?” Wen Qing had asked her mother, wide eyed and curious. Her mother had shrugged and said, “Well some women don’t mind, I guess, especially if it meant her children would be heiress of the throne.” 

Wen Qing had frowned at that. What’s so bad about children taking their father’s name, she wondered. Men may not be allowed the same liberties as women, may not attend public school or join the army or hold court with the Empress, but they were still children’s parents. Not all women agreed on this of course, but that was the way of their world. 

Her father died of consumption some years after Wen Ning was born, but Mother never took a second husband or a concubine. Wen Qing liked that about her mother. Brave, loyal, true. 

Wen Qing’s mother, Dafan-junwang, a distant relation to the throne, was a renowned marshal, hailing from a proud line of generals and marshals, trusted by the Wen imperial family as protectors of the realm, without fear of usurpation. The people whispered that Wen Qing had much to live up to, if she were to inherit her mother’s duchy and hold a command of her own. 

Wen Qing never had much interest in war or martial arts, but she learned, trained, practiced and perfected her skills because she could never bear the thought of letting her mother down. In her heart (and in her free time), she learned the science and art known by father. He was a quiet man, a physician (quite skilled too), before he married her mother. He wasn’t what her grandparents would have wanted for their daughter, but Mother had been adamant. 

Wen Qing’s mother hadn’t been good at expressing her love, but she did love her husband. Very much. Mother was only ever soft around Father, and Wen Qing only knew this because she’d seen them hold hands when they thought no one was watching. 

Wen Ning, being the son of a wealthy aristocratic family, was destined to marry well when he came of age. Unlike girls, boys weren’t allowed to attend publicly funded scholarly schools or martial academies. Wealthy and noble families however were able to afford private tutors for their sons, so that they would know the four arts (play the qin, weiqi, literature, and art) and be elegant, competent husbands for their wives. If Wen Ning was competent enough, charming enough, and gave his wife daughters (because everyone knew it’s the men who control the sex of the baby), then she would be faithful to him -> at least that’s what their nanny said. 

“How did they know, that men determined the sex of the baby?” Wen Qing asked her mother one evening when she turned thirteen and was given The Talk. 

Her mother tilted her head and said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “My dear, women are the earth, we grow and birth life. Men are like the seeds. If you plant an apricot tree, the earth will nourish it and let it flourish, but the fruit will always be apricots, you will never have peaches.” 

Once, Wen Qing had asked her mother if she could be a physician instead, if Wen Ning could take her place as general. Her mother had given her a very stern look and said, “No only is your brother of a sickly disposition, but you are my daughter. The duchy and my command can only be inherited by you. For your country, you do not have a choice.” 

Wen Qing conceded, because she was good.

The days dragged on, and slowly it was becoming clear Wen Ruohan would have no daughters. Not only so, the sons he fathered were ill-mannered and haughty, unfit to rule. Wen Ruohan’s mind, too, was slowly leaving him, due to unknown reasons. The ministers of the court and notabilities of the peerage urged Wen Ruohan to take on the daughter of his cousin born of his maternal aunt, and to groom her as heir. This brought on much discontent from Wen Roohan��s two princes, who aligned themselves with lurking enemies from the north, and before anyone could mitigate the situation, the country was thrust into a full blown civil war. 

Every bit her mother’s daughter, Wen Qing did not hesitate to mount her horse and ride off into battle. She had her duties and she would serve until her death. 

Jiang Wanyin had a very pretty face - she would reflect in retrospect. Perhaps that was why she believed him when he showed up at her camp with a conscription missive claiming to be his older sister Jiang Yanli. 

JIANG CHENG

The Jiang family was a wealthy merchant family situated southeast of the capital, in the province of Yunmeng. The current head of family is Jiang Ziyuan, known for her sharp business mind and sharp ways with her sword.  

(the only reason i’m switching Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s last name is because it’s a matriarchal society, and Yu Cheng and Yu Yanli sounds way too awful as names, but Yu Fengmian and Jiang Ziyuan are actually not bad.) 

There was a rumour that her husband Yu Fengmian of a Meishan Yu clan, had betrayed her with a wandering traveler from the pugilist world named Cangse...something something, and that he had fathered a son with her out of wedlock. If it were true, then by the conventions of the land, Jiang Ziyuan would have every legal right to divorce Yu Fengmian and send him back to his family to live out the rest of his days in seclusion, shame and repentance. 

But when Yu Fengmian came to her with the little Wei Ying, freshly orphaned, Yu Ziyuan turned the boy this way and that, examined him for “abnormalities” and nodded. Then she summoned her son, and said to him, “Our manor purchased  some new indentured servants. This boys is yours from now on, he is your responsibility. Keep him in line, find some uses for him, or get rid of him.” 

Jiang Cheng looked to his big sister, but his sister just shook her head. Not quite understanding what was happening, or why his father was bowed down on the floor, Jiang Cheng took his new “servant” and left. 

Watching them go, Jiang Yanli then turned to her mother and said, “Muqin, if I may be so bold, I have an idea.” 

Jiang Yanli was not the heiress that Jiang Ziyuan had hoped for. Though incredibly intelligent, Jiang Yanli was of poor health and not suited for martial training. Jiang Ziyuan had been quite troubled by this for some time, fearing others would cause trouble once Jiang Yanli inherits. However, she was also hesitant to train her son Jiang Cheng, even though he showed both interest and aptitude. It was not often that well to do families would want to take on a too “rambunctious” boy as groom for their daughters. Yet to leave Jiang Yanli without close protection... 

“Are you thinking that boy...” 

Jiang Yanli nodded. “Father denies being Wei Ying’s paternal parent, but surely tongues will waggle regardless. Mother, you are within your right to dismiss father, but he is still my father, and if not for me, think of A-Cheng. One day he will marry, and what family would want a son with a disgraced sire. Wei Ying looks healthy and strong; as I am unfortunately unable to train with the sword, mother may yet train him. Surely you’re not worried about his future marriage prospects. Perhaps it is better yet that he never marries, for he will remain close to Lotus Pier and serve at my side.” 

Jiang Ziyuan listened to Jiang Yanli’s words and decided that her daughter made very valid points. Her relationship with her husband could never be repaired but she had her children’s future to consider. 

And yet happiness would not last for long. Two months after Jiang Yanli’s sixteenth’s birthday, she received news that her mother’s private boat, which she used to inspect her properties, had capsized in a terrible monsoon storm, killing everyone on board.  

After the news reached Lotus Pier, Yu Fengmian took his own life in the dead of night, leaving a letter stating that he had owed Jiang Ziyuan too much to repay, that though Wei Ying was not his son, he had kept secrets from her that he swore he would not reveal in this life. Now that she’s gone, he would keep her company in her journey to the beyond. 

The Jiangs mourned, but they survived.

Then when the boys turned seventeen, war broke out over the lands, and the conscription missives arrived demanding one female from every household. Jiang Cheng panicked. Wei Wuxian had been sent to Gusu on business and would not return for some time. The military missive was time sensitive, so Jiang Cheng didn’t have another choice...besides it’s not like A-Jie’s matchmaking attempts for him had been all that successful...he was next to blacklisted anyway after his last debacle with the Qin girl. 

Jiang Cheng decided that he could pass as a woman if he dressed properly and redid his hair, but his voice...he'd just have to pretend he could not speak. That way, no one would know. 

WQ: “Who are you?” 

JC *hands her his letter* 

WQ: “Jiang Yanli? The Yunmeng Jiangs? Of Lotus Pier?” 

JC: *nods*

Her subordinate, “I didn’t know Jiang Ziyuan’s daughter was mute, they only said she was of poor health.” 

-

Luo “Mianmian” Qingyang finds out first. 

Mianmian: *GASP and points* You’re a man! 

JC: *covers his body* SHH!!! Turn around! Don’t look at me! *turns to look away*

Mianmian: *naked by the river ready for a bath but too shocked to move* but, but, but, how?? How did we not know????

JC: Mianmian - no- Lt. Luo, please don’t tell the Young Marshal! Please, I only came so my sister wouldn’t have to -

MM: Cowardice! It is every woman’s sworn duty to - 

JC: My sister is of very delicate health. She won’t survive! She’s my late mother’s only daughter, if she dies... I’m expendable. I don’t mind being cannon fodder, please don’t report me. 

-

JC shivering in the snow. “You said you trust Yanli! Why should Wanyin be any different?!” 

WQ stood impassively over him with a sword at his neck. Then, she closed her eyes and turned away. “A life for a life. My debt is paid.” 

---

JYL: *Proud* “A-Cheng helped secure the future of our nation. The adopted young crown princess was too young to rule without a loyal regent, and Wen Ruohan’s sons colluded with outside forces...it would have been chaos. Millions would have died.” 

WWX *teasing* “Sure he brought home a sword, if you ask me he should’ve brought home a wife!”

---

JC, “W-would you like to stay for dinner - ” 

WWX: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER? 

JC: Wei Wuxian! She’s regent now, be respectful!” 

WQ: Dinner...sounds lovely. 

[cutegirlmayra]

Classic sonamy prompt if I may ask, Sonic has just finished up another adventure and is telling Rosy to go home. When she refuses he offers to take her there himself. Except Rosy refuses because she's homeless and too ashamed to tell Sonic so she lies and says her house was robbed! Like the whole thing stolen. Sonic tries to find the house and the lie gets too big until finally Rosy comes clean embarrassed. Sonic not wanting his friend to suffer lets her stay with him and builds a house for her.

(Art found here (x) Please support the official artist!)

PROMPTS--GUESS WHAT?--THAT’S RIGHT! SHUTDOWN. Don��t send me’em. I’ll tell your mom.

Pajama Blogs - Prompt Requests - Ep 1 (x) - Time where I discussed thoughts on this prompt idea before probably changing the entire concept? (37:05)

Prompt:

Tumbling down from the air, a large explosion blasts the latest Robotnik BossEgg as Classic Sonic lands triumphantly and stands up, holding Rosy the Rascal in his arms, otherwise known as Classic Amy Rose.

Eggman seems to cry out and shake his fist, but breathes smoke in and starts coughing, so he isn’t able to pursue as Sonic smirks up to him and races off.

Eggman turns around and cries out, gripping his head when his ‘mountain base’ suddenly blasts in small degrees, his mustaches--which were metal plates placed on the mountain--droop down to show sorrow and then the whole thing explodes.

Having no where to go... he slumps down and flies off, cursing Sonic’s name and threatening a bigger and even better plan for next time!

“That’ll show’em!” Amy cheers, kicking her legs out as she looks behind Sonic’s shoulder. “Let’s see how he likes his home being trashed up by a bunch of... of... uhh... Well, if robots destroy our home, would living things attacking his be the same counterpart?” she turned back to relax in his arms and put her finger to her mouth, still working on those ‘witty catchphrases and comebacks’ which she had learned was something Sonic was fond of.

To be more adored, she tried to implement them, but it didn’t seem to effect this ‘one-track mind’ hero.

She blinked up at him, seeing he was focused on running, and smiled sweetly with admiration. Her eyes arched and she nestled herself back to being comfortable for the ride. “Nevermind~ We’re both safe, that’s all that counts.”

“Speaking of homes,”

Just as Classic Amy was about to close her eyes, drift off into her dream of Classic Sonic cradling her on his run for hours, letting her soak in that idealized delight; he hard braked and sent her head jerking forward.

“W-woooah!” she clung as a reflex tightly to his head and adjusted to around his arms as he skidded against the ground.

When her squinted eyes blinked wide open again, she looked to see her handsome hero looking down at her.

She waited a second, not having heard much of a ‘peep’ out of him, but having heard of his snarky attitude before. It seems he only really spoke comfortably in front of Eggman--of all people--and his closest friends.

“Where’s yours?” He smiled, capturing her in an array of hearts as twirling flowers floated around her vision, windmilling into her view to drown out reality.

He raised an eyebrow and leaned in a bit when he saw her distracted, “Uhh... Amy?”

She blinked, as though trying to lure him closer.

He frowned, “Lalaland is not considered a home.” he put her down, and she actually did find that a bit funny, though... it was probably meant to be more of an off-handed insult, she knew he wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings in anyway.

He just wasn’t one to let a good joke slip by.

He put a hand to his hip and shook his head up to the clouds, as though silently conversing with them how odd but innocent this girl was.

He looked back to her with a look of disappointment, as though to get her ‘head in the game’ and waited for her to answer him with a sharp, “No offense, but I’d rather get you home safely than concern myself with idle... uh... staring...” he itched his nose and looked down when he noticed she was still glued to him, her hands up by her chin and intertwined together as she openly showed her unwavering crush on him.

He knew he was handsome, but this... was a bit much to ask for.

“Amy...” He looked embarrassed, not sure how to ‘snap’ her out of it, and pulled away to try and create some space between her piercing eyes of sparkling wonder and awe of love... hoping to not have imaginary strings looping around him like a cowgirl to her prized hog.

“You’re my ultimate distraction~” she flirted, “Nothing you can do about that...”

He gruffed.

“And for your information, Lalaland is free of charge~” she moved up and tried to flick his nose, but as he avoided, he struggled to regain balance and started swaying on his one leg.

She giggled as he hopped to the side to get away from her and plant both feet down firmly. He gave her a look like he wasn’t one to just let a girl get the better of him, but she persisted further. “I have a beautiful residency there... If you ever feel like dropping by~” she batted her eyelashes, but moved her hands behind her back and swayed herself, just being girlie and trying to out-smart him.

“I hear rent’s cheap when you’re a squatter.”

“Ah!” she puffed up a cheek and stomped her foot to him, “Well, that’s not a nice thing to say to a pretty girl!”

“Glad you have the confidence. Looks like you don’t need a man, or anyone else for that matter, to tell you it for you.” He dusted himself off, turning away from her before sneaking in a pretty proud grin on his face. He wasn’t going to let her get away with such terrible flirting like that.

“Anyway, I’ve got things to do. Alone.” He folded his arms and faced his back to her, but was sure to stick his nose in the air, just for good measure. “It’s not safe running around this Zone with so many Badniks still afoot.”

“Doesn’t that mean you missed some?”

His face seemed to scrunch at her obvious dig.

“Why not let me help out in getting rid of them?” She cutely turned around to give him her full attention, offering to assist as she knew he loved to ‘clean up the leftovers’ just for sport after beating Robotnik. “I’ve been practicing with my hammer a lot more now and-!” She summoned it out, holding it firmly as memories of training away from towns by trying to knock over trees ran through her mind.

All those long days... the radio on in case of any news of him, and her constant efforts to knock down a firm tree in three blows, which was her first ever combo she learned with her new toy.

Proud to show off her new strength, she began to ramble as Sonic slowly turned his head and looked curiously back at her instrument of destruction.

“A hammer?” he inquired, leaning to look it over, but trying to keep his ‘aloof’ nature present.

“Yeah! I wasn’t too sure if I should it since it might have thrown your running off center, b-but...” she nervously began to feel her heart flutter when he showed interest in her magical item, and began to blush and dip her head down, turning her flushing cheeks away from him and closing her eyes as she continued. “D-do you think you’d like to help me try?”

“...Try and what?” he fully dropped the act and turned around, offering his hands to show he wanted to hold and examine the hammer closer.

She mistook his intent, and excitedly ‘poof’ed the hammer away placed her hands in his own.

He slowly... looked up to her with lowered eyelids to show his annoyance.

She giggled with hearts popping from around her head.

“...You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” he chuckled out, and she realized she was slightly winning him over.

He removed his hands and shook them out, “Alright! One round around the Zones! No more or less!” he wagged his infamous pointer finger to make that statement unquestionable, and then gave her a legendary wink. “Sure you’re up for a few tips and tricks?”

She almost melted fully to the ground out of all the warm feelings he was giving her.

“Uh-huh~” Her agreeance lengthened by her sinking into such happiness, and seeing as her knees had turned to pudding, she offered him her hand and without hesitation he took it and pulled her back up into a bridal carrying position.

He ducked his head and her nose almost skimmed by his left cheek, “You ready?”

She was careful... when she nodded, she made sure her nose continuing to skim up and down his cheek looked like a hurried accident...

They charged through the Zones, having some fun as he taught her to better aim and invision where the target was going to be before throwing the hammer.

At first, her swings were a little klutzy, but he helped steady her balance. “What’cha gotta do is put your feet apart, like this.” she was too absorbed in his encasing hands over her own while she held the hammer out, feeling the cotton of his gloves smooth around her own that were slightly more thinner than his puffy ones, and trembled to try and remain poised while he taught her.

A moment went by of her just intensely watching his hands on her own as he tried to teach her a proper swing, before stopping and lightly loosening his grip.

“Sorry, am I being too much?” he pulled his arms back and Amy quickly shook her head, releasing all her built-up energy from being overly excited at his attentive teaching style.

“N-no, no, no! Not at all! Don’t let go~” she whispered the last part and looked off and up to the side, her eyes squeezing shut as she hoped he didn’t notice her blushing.

He did...

His eyes almost furled up as though he had been betrayed, forgetting a moment how she was like, and moved away from her.

He tapped his toe, realizing she wasn’t taking any of his advice seriously, and decided to be mad about it. “So, where’s your home again?”

“S-sorry! I’ll behave! I promise!” she shrieked, her hammer disappearing as she waved her arms about. After perfectly being thrown up into the air to then land squarely on a rooming Badnik, Sonic just had some awkward sweat drip down the side of his face.

“Wow, innate learner...” He muttered to himself, seeing as she actually had caught on to some things. He gave her a sideways look, seeing her wail and plea which made him uncomfortable.

Forgiving her, he just turned his head away from her and closed his eyes, “Alright, alright, enough already. It’s not my style to watch people beg.” he scratched his head, not sure what to do with her if she refused to let him take her back. “But it’s getting late, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving you all alone in the open like this.” he earnestly tried to tell her his thoughts and straightened up, playing the noble hero--which was already naturally within his heart--he tried to speak more plainly to her.

“I really should be getting you somewhere safe.”

“Oh, but... Sonic...” She moved closer up to him, making his eyes widened in curiosity at how sincere she looked.

She gently lowered her eyes and smiled, as though trying to create bubbles of light and sparkles around herself, “I’m already safe... right here with you.” she took his hands as he grew nervous, his mouth wagging open on the corners of his lower lip at how direct and unabashed this little girl could be.

“Uhhuhuhhuhh,” He didn’t know how to respond, and it was like his brain was going on a straight line to cut off all activity from her outrageous actions.

She pulled herself a little closer to him, “Maybe... you don’t have to send me anywhere... but we could just gaze up at the stars all night and talk about our future togeth-OFFPH!”

He shoved his head into hers, the hardness of the top of his head smashing her mouth closed as he then pulled away, adjusting his gloves as she rubbed her face in frustration.

“Serves you right for being so shameless.” he knew he hadn’t hurt her, but just shoved her mouth full of quills to silence her continual flirting.

“W-why you...” She twitched an eyebrow, seeing that wooing the man of her dreams might not be as easy as all those fairytale princesses made it out to be.

“If you’re so obsessed with sleeping under the stars, why not fly yourself to the moon?” He stuck out his tongue and dipped his lower-eyelid down. “Waybe when I wouwn’t wave to see yowr wittle wace anywore.” he spoke with his tongue out to taunt her and suddenly she was fuming.

Her arms shook down from her face, as enraged as any tigress, and charged after him. His gleeful expression as he took off and let her chase him lasted for a little while as they played the game of chase.

He kept taunting her, jumping up on a rock and spanking his butt while doing the same mocking gestures to get her to come after him, watching as he would jump and curl up to see the rock he was on get shattered to pieces by her fury.

He uncurled with a few bounces and pulled his arms up as though leisurely jogging, smiling as he was actually testing her further to see how well she really could battle.

‘She’s trying so hard to stay by my side...’ he thought to himself, seeing her calling out with embarrassed fury as she kept swinging and narrowly missing him.

He ducked, freaking out a moment, before sighing in relief, then looking as though happy and proud of her accomplishments. ‘Her aim has increased... Maybe... she was taking my teaching seriously after all.’ It made him glad that he could have moments with her that weren’t just all her feelings, but could be some of his own interests as well.

He plopped himself on another rock and stood like a gymnasts, his two hands positioned in front and below him, which kept him upright, as his legs went straight out ahead of him. “Is that all you got, Rascal?” he teased, smirking widely as he purposefully wore her out to make her more accommodating to his request in sending her homeward.

 “I’m bound... ha... ha... to catch up to you ... ha... ha... someday, Sonic... ha... ha... The Hedgehoooogggg...” she collapsed after making her way over to the boulder, and Sonic’s expression changed to a sweetness as he extended mercy by jumping stylishly off the rock and falling to a knee, offering her his hand. “I.. won’t... give up...” her shoulders bounced as she was on her knees, her arms shaking slightly at their exertion.

Sonic’s eyes bent and in his eyes... he truly knew what she meant.

“I know.” he stated, “But that doesn’t mean a mighty heroine doesn’t deserve a break.”

She was caught by his tender reply and looked over to him, amazed he was acting so kindly again to her.

“W-what happened?” she innocently blinked her eyes, and he laughed at her cuteness.

“I’m just glad you’re having fun.” He stated, and once again shook his arm, “Come on, come on... it’s time to head on back.”

“Ah, you’ll let me stay with you?” her eyes shined.

“No.”

She felt her whole world crash on her, “W-WHATTT???” she exclaimed, “B-but... we were having a moment...” she did her best ‘shaking hedgie eyes’ to make him reconsider.

“Ah-ah-ah.” He got up and shook his pointer finger, “Haven’t you heard? I’m immune to negotiations.” he played along.

“Even cute ones?” she pouted her lip and tilted her head.

For a moment, when Sonic’s eyes met hers, the rising dark shadows of the skies couldn’t block her gentle enticements of beauty from him.

He felt a breath quicken in through his nose and crawl down his lungs, holding itself there as though lodging itself there and wouldn’t move.

It was so fast that Amy didn’t even notice the momentary pupil dilation before he turned away from her and put his hands on his hips.

“...I already said I was taking you back. I keep my word.”

She felt some form of heartache, realizing that no matter how adorable she tried to look, or breathtakingly gorgeous she thought she must have looked in her mind, he wasn’t ever going to budge in her way.

He took final second to sneak a look behind his shoulder back at her, seeing her cry out that she conceded, and nod that he was right.

“It is late...”

“...Very.” he lowered his eyes, as though meaning she was very- “Ehem!” He cleared his throat, coughing into his hand and looking away again, “Very persistent. I don’t understand how anyone can keep up with you.”

“No one but you.”

He turned back as she sweetly praised him, but rolled it off his shoulders and stood a bit taller... not realizing she had boosted his ego a bit there.

“Naturally.” he smiled wider, rubbing his finger under his nose. “I’m the fastest thing alive, so it’s not uncommon for me to be one step ahead of your scheming.” he then lifted a shoe up and lightly poked her with it, smirking mischievously as though wanting her to chase after him again.

She let little tears build up in her eyes as she pouted, “You’re shooing me away again!”

“Only to keep good little girls like you out of bad little boy’s sights.” he teased again, kicking the foot back behind his other leg and looking like a real slick 90′s kid. “Cool off a little... it’s a compliment.”

“Hmph, I’m sure!” she stomped herself up and dusted off her dress. “Well, you won’t find my house, anyway!”

“Is that so?” He thought she was playing again, but was growing a little annoyed at her stubbornness. “Look, it was fun at first, Amy, but you really gotta tell me what’s going on. Why are you so opposed to going home?”

He buried his head down into his folded arms, trying to look stern on this, and it did intimidate her slightly into realizing he was serious...

She sighed, seeing him soften as she turned away. “It’s... complicated.” she pushed her index fingers together.

“How so?” He wondered... “Eggman..?”

“...N-no...” she didn’t want to lie... but... “Robbers!” She spun around, ‘More than anything... I just want to keep spending more time with you...’ she admitted only to herself in her heart.

“R-robbers?” Sonic broke his stance and suddenly took a step back.

“Thieves of the forest!” she spread her arms out wide, “About twenty of them!”

“...W-what?” He seemed disbelieving, so she nervously looked behind her and thought a second before continuing.

‘He’s not gonna buy this... but it’s worth a try! Hehe! Maybe he’ll think I’m cute for attempting to fool him.’ She turned her head back to him, “It was awful! Ah!” she jumped into his arms as he leaned forward with a perplexed expression before awkwardly having her draped over his chest.

“Come again? Where was this?” he decided to get some details first.

Amy sweated, she didn’t know many places around here... “U-Unimportant. They just came up to me all of a sudden! I was so scared!” she gripped her arms tightly around his back quills, nuzzling herself deeper into his chest as he squirmed from how uncomfortable this was.

“W-wah-what? Inside your house?” he wanted to keep investigating, but the odd sensation of her prickly head and soft cheeks against his underbelly really didn’t make it easy for him to concentrate on her story.

As he flinched and wriggled from the touch, not daring to move her, she smirked with a twinkle in her eye.

‘Got’em!’ she smirked, before pretending to act in distress again. “Ohh! Sonic! You don’t understand!”

“Then help me to understand.” he pulled her away, gently this time, but with added worry. He put his head leveled to hers, so she could focus and look directly in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, acting as though she was close to actual tears, pulling her hands in. “We... We can’t go back there, Sonic! I’m too... Ah! Afraid~” she tried to ‘swoon’ into his arms, having her hand lift up to her forehead and have the back of it dramatically positioned there but Sonic caught her from landing on him again.

“Now, hold on. Didn’t you say you felt safe with me?” he blinked with a frown, not going to allow her theatrics to play around much longer.

She pouted, deciding he needed further persuasion...

“Uh... Well... They took the whole house!” she hollered out, “Oh, Sonic, My hero, Hold me~” she cried, turning around to try and better get her arms around his neck but he held her out and slowly reclined back... and that’s when she knew... his annoyed expression...

“You’re just as sneaky as ever...” he puffed out.

“...D-don’t you believe a helpless little-AH!”

He threw her lying behind right up over his shoulder, keeping her there as punishment as she squirmed.

“H-hey! Nooo! Soooonic!! P-put me down, now!”

He yawned, feeling her light pats against his head and back as she ‘struggled’ but knew somewhere deep down she was probably enjoying the further ‘play’ anyway.

He kept one arm down by his hip, but lifted it up to shrug. “Oh well, if you don’t have a home, I guess you’ll have to stay with me the rest of your life, huh, Amy?”

She immediately dropped her pretend, her eyes full of stars as she gleefully grinned. ‘Success!’ she cheered within her mind.

“...Is what you want me to say, right?”

She deflated... “Ohhh....”

“Come on, Amy... Enough games.” He looked back up to her, waiting with his ear turned to her for the truth. “What’s really keeping you so adamant?”

“...Okay, you got me.” She knew she couldn’t keep it up for long. “I... My house... it kinda...”

She then took on a serious expression, pulling out a hankie and blowing into it, “It’s in the sky now, Sonic! Whahaa!”

“...What?” he deadpanned.

“Those robbers they... they cut it up into tiny pieces! It’s gone, Sonic. There’s nothing left of it! My beautiful, beautiful home. Taken before it’s prime!”

He heard her blow into the hankie and shut his mouth.

“...Guess I’ll have to find every last piece of it... and rebuild it myself...” His eyebrow twitched. ‘There has to be a limit to this girl’s presumptuous mannerisms!’

...Had he finally found his match?

Someone to equal his own obscure, reckless nature?

Someone who would consistently not fail to banter till there was no time left on the clock?

“I’ll ask one more time...”

Amy shivered in fear, “You... You wouldn’t do anything ungentlemanly now... w-would you?”

His eyes revealed he was at his limit to her shenanigans.

“Eep!” she threw up the white handkerchief and forfeited, “Okay, okay! In all honesty, I-... I don’t want to part from you, but the reason I won’t tell you where my house is is because... because... I’m... homeless...” she lowered her head.

“That’s it-!” he put both hands on her hips over his shoulder and was about to charge her through a very unpleasant ‘joyride’ to interrogate her into learning some humility but she flailed.

“No, no, wait! This time, it’s the truth!” she waved her arms about, “Please, this time, you gotta believe me! I live on a town’s alley with a box and a blanket!”

He paused...

“You’re not making this up to get pity out of me... right?” he slightly glared back up at her, and she nodded, pulling her hands in and bundling them up by her chin.

“I swear, Sonic. I’m not just kidding around or playing this time... I could show you but...” she looked away, “I wash my clothes because a nice lady thinks I’m sweet and cute... I help her fold her laundry and her children’s bibs in the morning so she pays for my clothes and I secretly sneak out the back and spray the pool water on me while it’s too early for anyone to be up yet...”

He lowered his head, this isn’t what he wanted to hear...

Everything was getting too complicated... She shouldn’t be admitting this to him.

“For food, I usually track berries, but I got here from some traveling gypsies who taught me Tarot cards and treated me very well. They also showed me how to... I don’t steal, so I just performed little fortune tellings here and there to make some money, but it’s only enough for about a week’s worth of food... hence why I help the lady...”

He put her down, “That’s enough.” he stated, closing his eyes. “You didn’t need to tell me all that... I believe you.”

She pulled away, feeling like he may think she’s stinky or pitiful, and scrunched up the ends of her skirt, looking embarrassed.

“I’m sorry... I really do like you, Sonic The Hedgehog... but I’m not much of a ...” her bottom-lip quivered. “Lady... as you deserve.” she was on the verge of tears. “But if I didn’t have such humble beginnings... maybe then... I’d be pretty enough to get you to watch the stars with me one night...” she sucked in her breath, dashing off to avoid any further shame before Sonic immediately caught her mid-turn and pulled her back, not letting her escape. “Ah!”

“... I wash my shoes in the lakes and rivers...”

His voice was... empathetic.

“My best friend is an orphan... the other is the last of his kind.”

He stared at her... no judgement.

Her eyes... shined with the love she could see from his enormous heart.

“We all stay in a roughly build placed by a beach... next to a crashed plane.”

“Sonic...” her eyes shook, realizing...

“I’m not the big-shot hero everyone thinks me to be either,” He took a powerful breath in and held it, showing pride as he looked away, recollected himself, and then narrowed his eyes to her. “There’s no shame in being unwanted, alone, or without anything to your name besides your skills and talents... Regardless of what you think a ‘Lady’ qualifies as to be worthy...” he walked up and lightly patted her head,

“...Lalaland is nothing like a warm bed. I’ll give you all of what I’ve found and have collected over the years, so you can be safe too.”

Her heart expanded, and she never knew a man could love someone as unlady-like as it could get. She was without anything... and yet...

He still built a side shack for her on the beach, inviting her in as she insisted on cooking for the boys, and becoming... apart of their team.

[chaoticallysapphic]

the great trial part one

summary: This was meant to be the easy part. The part filled with brightness and love. The war was over and you had the love of your life all to yourself. No more Baatar, no more secrecy and no more lies. But with the calm comes the realization as all the adrenaline finally leaves you. Now you know, this is the hard part.

a/n: So remember when I said I wouldn’t post anything until the sequel was done? Well it turns out I need validation to thrive and would love peoples feedback on the series so I’ve decided that I am going to slowly release what I currently have while trying to finally finish what’s left. Thank you to @medeliadracon​ for beta reading this and @ladyxffandoms​ for being such a big help! This wouldn’t nearly be as good without the two of you. 

This is the sequel to the great divide series.

word count: 4k

That first month in your new apartment is probably the worst. You guys were able to find a small one on the bottom floor of a complex. It had a small side garden with a lemon tree and vines growing up the side of the building and your dad was already talking to about all the flowers you could plant together. 

Suyin put you on house arrest as well which caused an uproar with not only Kuvira, who offered to take your year for herself, but also your parents. You would be stuck inside for a year whilst she would have to stick it out for three. Kuvira hated how you were paying for her actions, she didn’t see how wrong it was for you to turn a blind eye for three years. No one knew the pressure she put you under.

Your parents offered to pay the bills. They were comfortable enough with your mom's Lieutenant salary and with your father's popular flower shop. They even bought you guys furniture and upon your request paint to personalize your first home. 

Somehow once that front door shuts, leaving you both inside with furniture randomly stacked around in the living for the both of you to organize along with paint cans and boxes of your belongings, the room feels like the air has been sucked out of it. You’ve dreamed of this day for years and it isn’t going at all how you planned. 

She doesn’t get what the big deal is, she’s just happy she’s not stuck in a prison cell. That frustrated look on your face is new and with a sharp reply at some snappy comment you made, she realizes she doesn’t like it.

Kuvira gets pissed that the couch is too heavy, the paint isn’t the right shade, and even though she claims she doesn’t care it’s what you’ve dreamt, and dammit you deserve for it to come true. A plate cracks, silverware is dropped, the bookcase is too small for all your childhood books and one of you (Kuvira) already managed to scuff up the floors. 

This, the after, is meant to be the easy part. There aren't any more battles or secrets, train rides, or negotiations. It’s the two of you in your first apartment and this day is supposed to be a happy one. This is meant to be a peaceful and happy day with stolen kisses as you lazily unpack. You’re meant to be starting over and it’s not supposed to be so difficult.

The sun has gone down and the lights dimly illuminate your disaster of a living space. Nothing has been accomplished. You grip the roots of your hair as the paint issue is once more brought up “why does it matter? It’s a decent color!” 

“Because it’s not what I envisioned!” 

“Well, we can’t always get what we want! What, are we going to have your parents return it?” Spirits! She doesn’t get it, your vision of the future was sacred, something you held tight for all those years. It has to be at least slightly like you imagined it, and this isn’t right. 

To Kuvira, your behavior is starting to remind her of a spoiled child upset about not getting the last piece of candy.

“You don’t get it! It matters to me, we’re gonna be living here for the next three years. I think we should at least like what we put on the walls!” You storm away, slamming the bedroom shut behind you. There aren’t many places to hide here, all the main living space is combined along with a very small bathroom, one wall is completely windows that show the small garden and by the kitchen is the door to the bedroom. 

Kuvira stands frozen in the living room, slightly flinching as the door slams shut. She understands that there will be a rocky adjustment period. She admitted that day in the tent that she needs to work on the way she treats you. 

But she didn’t expect it to go south so fast. While you have your version of how today is meant to go, so does she. Kuvira hoped today would go along smoothly, she didn’t care about the furniture or walls, she simply wanted to peacefully start off your new life together on a good note.

You aggressively rub at your eyes as you feel tears of frustration well up before sitting down on the edge of your bed. That’s at least one thing that seems to be working out, all the beds you shared in the past were rather small (besides the one in the Beifong estate) so it was a relief to see them carry in a queen-sized bed for both of you. You lay down over the covers and sighed. Tomorrow will be better, you tell yourself. 

You don’t mean to fall asleep, you just planned to lay there and stew in your emotions a bit before getting up and trying to talk it out. So when you awake with a start, your hand immediately goes to search for that familiar body. You choke out a sob as you find the other side empty. Momentarily forgetting where you are, you begin to cry as you wrap your arms around yourself. The words “what did I do?” leave your lips. 

You bring a hand to try and stifle the sound as your lungs squeeze out all the air it can. The room feels so small and the darkness of the night so terrifying. 

There’s the sound of shuffling from the other side of the door before someone opens it up, Kuvira looks at you, her hair a curly mess from sleep. She squints, still half asleep before hearing you let out a whimper. She walks over, crawling onto the bed until she’s in front of you, her hands come up to move your wrists as you continue to try and muffle the sound. “Hey, hey what’s wrong?” 

Your eyes shoot up to hers and you throw yourself at her, wrapping your arms around her neck. “You weren’t here,” you cry. Kuvira’s eyebrows shoot up at your words before wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to try and offer you some kind of comfort. “I thought…” you sniffle, “I thought we were back on the train.” 

Oh

Suddenly Kuvira feels anger flame within herself but it’s not directed at you but her because she’s the reason you're crying. “I was just sleeping on the couch, no one else is here.” Baatar isn’t here. You grip her shirt for reassurance, the fear within you stays and it makes your joints ache with anxiety as you remember all those nights alone. “I thought you wanted to be alone.” 

This side of you is brand new to her and so heartbreaking. She can feel the pounding of your heart and a part of her is worried it’ll break out of your chest. She’s done this to you, she’s made it so you're sobbing so hard you can barely breathe. As you shake in her arms, she realizes this can’t be avoided tomorrow.

You shake your head, not being able to say anything as you continue to cry. She moves her arms, an act that has you holding her tighter, and moves them to your hips so she can scoot you over so that the both of you can sleep. You seem to understand as your grip loosens just a smidgen as she slowly lays down and, due to your clinging, you follow.

Once on your sides, you wrap yourself around her, needing her to be as close as possible, and tuck your face into her neck. It’s not all that comfortable but it helps slow your heart rate down a bit. 

In the morning you seem to not want to talk about your episode, you act as if nothing happened. She always tried to ignore the way you looked after those nights on the train, honestly, she was too busy trying to scrub away the events of the night before to have noticed how truly upset you looked. 

But now in the light of day as your unpacking more dishes she notices the bags under your eyes and the unusual quiet in your demeanor. Your movements are stiff as you place the baking dishes into a bottom cabinet. 

It’s like you're a shell of yourself, like last night that bright, loving person was poured out of you along with your tears. It terrifies her to see how quickly it can all shift.

“Y/n?” You look up, quirking a brow. “Can we talk about last night?” 

You tense up a bit, brushing your hands over your sweatpants. “What about it?” 

“About…” Kuvira furrows her brows in confusion, “Y/n I thought you were hurt when I woke up.” You bite your lip, fiddling with the ties of your pants. You don't talk about this, never in the past three years have you talked about things like this with her. It always upset her when you tried to talk about how her actions hurt you. 

“Well I wasn't, just startled is all. Can you pass me that box?” 

“You were shaking,” Kuvira places her hand on the box to keep it in place when she sees you walk over to grab it yourself. “Is that… Is that what happened every time I…?” She can’t seem to bring herself to say it, so you do. 

“Every time you cheated on me?” You place your hands on your hips and sigh. “Just drop it Kuvira.” You rip the box out from under her grasp and walk away. Bile rises in your throat as those pesky images you’d dream up every time she was gone appear in your mind. 

You set the box down harder than you mean to and the sound of something breaking has you cursing under your breath. Bolin isn’t here to spar with, to help calm you down with uppercuts and swift kicks to the shins. 

Kuvira is stunned, left standing at the other side of the kitchen counter as she tries to make sense of her raging thoughts. Cheated. You're not wrong, but hearing you say it hurts. She never called it that, knowing if she did she’d have to admit what she was doing was wrong. And she could never be wrong, at least not then. 

So she called it punishments because then she could justify what she was doing. It’s not like she liked doing it because she didn’t but it seemed to be the best way to control you at the time. It won’t matter if she says that though, she knows it’s wrong and if anything it’ll make this situation worse. 

“I-I’m sorry,” she says softly, saying it makes her internally cringe, but she does mean it. You let out a huff, ignoring her as you open up the box. All the adrenaline of trying to save the day has left you, honestly, it left you around the time they slapped that stupid tracker onto your ankle but the lack of sleep and her trying to confront something you’d rather stay buried is getting to you. 

When you go to pick up the broken dish the sharp edge cuts across your hand, you hiss out in pain and jerk your hand towards your chest, it’s not a deep cut but it still hurts like a bitch. Blood begins to seep out and the sight of that sickening deep red liquid coating your palm has Kuvira panicking. 

Suddenly she’s back in the trunk with her heart in your hands as she watched you bleed out. Her hands feel warm and coated in the thickness of your blood once more. Her heart begins to race, deep in the back of her mind she knows it’s just a small cut but it’s only been a few weeks since you were so close to death.

Ignoring the fight at hand she rushes over to gently cradle your hand and pull it close, you yank your hand out of her grasp, her eyes shoot up to look at you with pinched brows. “I need to clean it, just let me clean it.” Her voice shakes as she desperately tries to take your hand back.

“I can’t…” This furious look settles on your features as you glare into her eyes before storming away towards the bathroom. She turns to follow you, her heart is pounding at the memories pouring out from the box she’s tried to shove them in. “I can’t look at you right now!” 

The slam of the door effectively ends any chance of her chasing after you. 

A couple of weeks goes by, the walls have now been painted the green you wanted and your dad brought over a second bookcase, then helped move the couch with Kuvira. He stops by often with baked goods and a fresh bouquet to replace the last. After that first day of moving in your mother doesn’t stop by though, he says she’ll come around, that she just needs time. 

But Kuvira sees the crestfallen look that takes over your features every time you open the door, and she’s not there. It’s a Friday night, and he’s come over to help cook.

Things have been tense between you and Kuvira, you can’t seem to look her in the eyes. She’s tried multiple times to get you to look at her, but each time you keep your gaze trained on something behind her or her forehead. 

What she doesn’t know is every time you do accidentally look at her, betrayal seeps through you as you remember all those nights alone. You don’t want to be filled with anger and hurt every time you look at her, but you don’t know what to do. Saying that word out loud, cheated, has opened a door you kept locked tight, spirits you had built a wall in front of it after that first time. 

But now it’s blown off the hinges and fills you up, threatening to spill at any moment. You're sure your dad notices, but he thankfully doesn’t comment. He’s commandeered Kuvira to fill the dumplings, saying “these are her favorite, anytime she got sick or upset I’d make these for her and everything would be okay again.” 

You ignore him as he tries to converse with Kuvira, her replies are short and awkward as she doesn’t know how to conduct herself around him yet. Opening up a bottle of wine for yourself you try to work on the broth for the soup, desperately trying to tune her out. You love your father so much and you're happy to be near him again, but you wish he’d just go home.

Meanwhile, Kuvira is loving his company, not only does it force you to be civil, but she gets a chance to get on his good side. She knows how much your parents mean to you and whilst it will probably take a village to get your mother to like her again, she thinks she has a shot with your dad. 

“And then! Oh, I think she was five when she realized what her mark meant, it was so adorable she-” Your dad laughs, suddenly you're filled with embarrassment as he continues. “She asked if they would be pretty.” 

You know he has good intentions but spirits now is not the time to bring up stupid soulmates. Does he not feel the tension between the two of you? You know that if he does, it’s probably slipped his mind that it’s not over something small. Your parents never had to worry about what to do if the other cheats on you multiple times whilst watching you suffer.

You fill up a glass for yourself, pouring it past the socially acceptable amount, and take a big sip before filling up two glasses for them. Part of you wants to be petty and not fill one up for her but your dad will point it out if you do. That bitter voice in your head reminds you of how Kuvira once shamed you for drinking. Fuck that.

“Between you and me I think she thinks you're pretty so five-year-old her would be very happy.” Kuvira coughs, letting out a chuckle as she shakes her head, not that you see since your back is turned. “I don’t know about that,” is her modest reply. 

To hear stories about your childhood feels like a perfectly wrapped present to Kuvira. It makes her feel close to you despite your current circumstances and to hear about how obsessed you were with soulmates makes her want to wrap you up and shower you with love.

But the problem with this story is it makes Kuvira think about all the shitty things she did to you. To hear about all the excitement and joy you showed over one day meeting her has made her feel ashamed of the person you got stuck with. Do you wish someone else was her? Have you ever thought about the what-ifs?

You hear your dad let out a chuckle and say “No, don’t be so negative.” If she replies you don’t hear it, soon after the topic is dropped as they focus back on the task at hand. Your grip on the wooden spoon is so tight you wonder if you can snap it in half. It hurts your fingers and that slight pain offers some kind of relief.

“So you pinch it like thi-” 

“I’ll be right back,” you say, leaving the broth to boil as you hastily walk over to the bathroom and lock the door behind you. Kuvira watches you go with a frown, everyday it seems you have to lock yourself away from her. Like her presence is just so unbearable that you’d rather hide in a bathroom and miss out on time with your dad.

You catch the sight of yourself in the mirror and glare back at the unrecognizable person staring back at you. Your face is flushed from embarrassment and there’s this hint of rage lingering in your gaze that wasn’t always there. 

You’ve never been this kind of angry person before, you were raised around flowers and cupcakes, books filled with great adventures and laughter echoing through your home. People who’d go to the moon and back for you. 

Your mom could get a bit angry at times and when she did she’d go take it out on one of those training dummies at her work. There was hardly ever any yelling in your home and never once did you sense animosity between your parents growing up. This new environment was stress-inducing and it made you want to throw all the glass plates against the wall.

You bring your hands up to your cheeks and sigh. When you were younger you were badly bullied at school for being so quiet, if anything the teasing words and tugs on your hair just made you cave inward on yourself instead of lashing out. 

You’d cry into your parent's arms as you asked them why no one wanted to be friends with you and your father helped you find solace in the solitary kind of activities to help bring you happiness.

When you signed up for the dance troupe that was a big step for you, which sounds ridiculous since you were nineteen, but that was something that required being around others and communicating with them. Both of your parents were thrilled at you finally branching out and had taken you to a celebratory dinner after your first practice. 

They were your best friends, you looked up to them and admired the love they still evidently held for one another, soulmates or not love seemed to dwindle over the years for most couples. And now you're here, in your bathroom of the apartment you share with your soulmate which should fill you with joy but instead you're on the verge of tears as you try to push down that burning flame within. 

If your dad ever cheated on your mom she’d slap him across the face and leave. If your mom cheated on your dad he’d cry so hard, but he’d leave as well. They always told you things like that were unacceptable when you’d tell them about all the school drama (not that you were ever involved in it) and now here you are. Feeling ashamed of all those years when she walked all over you, you wonder what would your parents think? You pull at the roots of your hair, no longer able to stomach the sight of yourself. 

You hate all of this and you can’t look her in the eyes but if given the chance you know you won’t leave, and it’s not because of that soulmate bullshit. It’s because of those quiet moments spent in each other's arms when it seemed like the world ceased to exist, where you’d giggle as she’d rub her nose against yours. Where you felt safe and seen and loved. 

You want those moments back, you want to not hate the sight of her but it seems anytime you so much as hear her voice you're on edge. You’re shaking due to the wave of anger and sadness that washes over you as you seem to get trapped in your thoughts. 

It’s happening more and more, you zone out most days and seem to think of every little bad thing she’s done. It feels like molten hot lava is poured over you every time it happens. The knock on the door makes you jump up in shock, so lost in your thoughts you tuned the rest of the world out. 

“The dumplings are ready,” you hear your dad say. You look up in the mirror and internally groan, you’ve made a mess of your hair and your eyes are bloodshot from crying. 

“Uhm,” you clear your throat “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, we’ll be setting up the table.” You nod, not realizing he can’t see you as you try to fix your appearance which is a task in itself. 

The dinner is awkward, it consists of spoons gently tapping against glass bowls and your father desperately trying to fill in the silence, he eyes you the whole time, probably expecting a smile to appear because dumplings fix everything, except this time they don’t. She feels bad for your dad, he really is trying to make you happy. Should she tell him it’s no use? That the only thing that will make you happy is probably her disappearance?

Anytime she looks your way you take a sip of your wine, you have to refill it thrice and it seems to drag on for hours despite the alcohol in your system. Kuvira does try to chime in as she tries to get on your father's good side but you are only able to let out nods of acknowledgment or forced chuckles at little anecdotes. 

He leaves after helping you clean the dishes, much to Kuvira’s chagrin. With him around, he was a nice buffer for the two of you, a pleasant way to fill the uncomfortable silence that filled your home. 

You’ve just finished wiping down the counters when she tries. “Y/n…” 

“No.” You immediately reply, heading to your shared room to get in bed before her, like you always do. 

A day later your mom finally shows up. She knows this is a private moment and to be honest she fears your mother's wrath. The way she glared at her when she opened the door had her wanting to hide away. She had said something about needing to talk to you, how the dumplings didn’t work which had Kuvira severely confused. But she didn’t question it.

So she lets your mom make tea while she tried to coax you out of the room. By the time you finally leave Kuvira sees that your mother is in the garden, patiently waiting. When you walk out of your bedroom you find her in the garden, sitting at the little iron table they got for you.

You watch Kuvira lock herself in your bedroom as you sit down across from your mom. There're two teacups filled with piping hot jasmine tea and a plate of cookies your father probably baked. 

Neither of you speaks the first few moments, you both spend the time sipping from your cups and watching the bustling of the streets, it must be lunchtime. 

“Why haven’t you stopped by?” 

Your mom sighs as she sets the teacup down, “honestly I just… I have a hard time with all of this. With her and with your arrest.” 

“Well, I did stand by while a bunch of horrible things happened mom. I understand why she arrested me,” you pick up one of the sugar cookies and bite into it. That all too familiar anger is bubbling within you once more. 

“Yes, but as a Lieutenant of the guard it’s made people deem me unworthy of my job.” You tense at her words, you didn’t know people were giving her grief about your actions. It’s not like she encouraged you to leave. “And… I am just having a hard time getting used to her and everything she’s done.” 

“She knows what she did was wrong, she was being cornered in Ba Sing S-” 

“I don’t mean what she did to the earth kingdom, I mean what she did to you.” Looking down at the dark amber color of your tea, you slump your shoulders as you think of her words. 

“I mean I’ll support whatever you decide but it’s hard for me to look at her knowing she kept you a secret, so she could keep up some charade with that Junior-” you tuck your hands under your lap at his name, trying to keep from clenching them, “and I’ve seen photos of him holding her and even kissing her, none of it is right.” 

Biting your lip to keep from crying you look away from her, at the streets that have since calmed down a bit. You focus on a child holding his mother's hand as he kicks up water at the fountain. He’s laughing, his grin so wide it takes up the majority of his features. He looks so happy and carefree. You want that kind of life, wishing you could trade his with yours.

“It was only kissing, right?” When you don’t immediately reply, she continues “y/n what happened in those three years?” 

“I…” you snap your mouth shut as you suddenly feel like you're about to cry. You can’t look at her, you’ll know she’ll be disappointed in you. “It was a couple of times to placate him, he’d been getting suspicious due to her lack of affection.” 

And I’d angered her in some way, it was usually that.

You don’t say that though, deciding to keep it to yourself. You hear the sound of glass breaking and whip your head around to see the handle of your mother's teacup broken into tiny pieces, the cup slips from her hand and falls onto the table, causing it to shatter. Hot tea splatters onto the table and seeps through the holes within it, some liquid gets on your shirt and you jump back in surprise. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry honey,” she says, going to grab one of the napkins to wipe up the excess tea. Her voice shakes with rage and you can see her jaw clenching so tight it looks like it’s about to snap. While she cleans no one talks, what do you even say? So instead you busy yourself by picking up a cookie and snapping it in half, when she leaves you’ll pick up the glass shards off the ground. 

“You know…” Your mother clenches the wet cloth in her hand, trying to control her tone. “You know that’s wrong, right?” 

“Yes, I do but what am I meant to do?” She opens her mouth to reply but stops herself when she sees the telltale sign of you being on the verge of tears. “I can’t look at her without imagining it but fuck mom I still love her.” 

It’s silent for a few beats, you can see the cogs turning in her mind. You don’t know if you want to know what’s going through her head, probably disappointment at your unwillingness to leave Kuvira. She sighs and gently sets the dirty napkin onto the table, her eyes lowered to stare at a shard that has half a panda lily painted on it, the other half had broken off during the fall. The incompleteness of it is sort of beautiful. 

“If you want to stay with her, you both need to seek professional help because this relationship is unhealthy and can’t continue this way.” She runs her hands through her hair, smoothing it back as she stares at you, “I can have a friend of mine come over to talk with the both of you, she specializes in things like this.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes but it’s not something that’ll be fixed right away. From the sounds of it, it’ll take years before the two of you can get to a healthy place.” Your shoulders slump at that, why is nothing easy anymore? Why can’t it go back to cinnamon-scented afternoons while helping your dad at his shop where the most difficult task at hand was tying a perfect bow. 

“I’ll do it.”

[lalahbug]

Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 1

Fandom: Avatar the Last Air bender Word Count: 3,819 My Masterlist Warnings/disclaim: General In this fic, characters are aged up, to what I see fit for my story, but will stay roughly on the same timeline This takes place on the timeline after the North Pole and Zuko and his Uncle go their separate ways for a bit. If you’ve never seen ATLA, the story may be confusing and vague/give spoilers.   Author’s Note: under the story ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting.  Story under cut, 1 of 8: Guidance Masterlist

Limply riding along on his ostrich-horse Zuko clung to his stomach as a waft of food hit him. It was coming from a nearby forest, he turned the animal into the trees a bit before demounting and tying the reins to a trunk near some water. Zuko quietly walked, following the smell of food, the closer he got he could tell it was fish. 

A woman came into view, she looked around his age, but was alone, with many basins of salt, which he amused was for curing some type of meat. He kept low and quiet, waiting for the perfect moment to steal some food. 

Watching the girl intently, Zuko gripped the hilts of his double swords when she sat down a couple of leaves on the ground. She took the fish, which she had been roasting and rotating above a flame, gently pushed it off the stick it was cooking onto the leaf. She repeated the movements until 3 fish were on each leaf, she picked up one and sat down. 

After sipping her tea, she sat another cup across from her, with the other pile of cooked fish. This confused Zuko, because she seemed alone, yet was setting a place across from her, repeating with some rice in small bowls. 

“You are very stealthy but I apologize, not good enough to evade me.” The lady spoke softly, after a bite of rice. “Please come join me, you’re hungry, I could hear your stomach.” 

Zuko froze, it seemed like a trick, yet his need for food drove his feet forward slowly. 

“Would you like some water along with your tea and food?” She gave him a gentle smile as he emerged from the forest into her clearing. 

“Why?” Zuko demand. 

“Why not?” She retorted, pouring him a cup of water and setting it near the food. 

Zuko glared at her, he didn’t want to just take food given, yet it was technically better than trying to steal it when it was clearly free. 

He gingerly sat down in front of her, eyeing her. 

She chuckled a bit then sighed, “are you going to let that food go to waste?” 

“Answer my question, why?” 

“Technically I did, you didn’t answer mine. Why not?” Zuko glanced down at the food before glaring at her again, causing her to sigh again. “Let’s just chalk it up to me not wanting to fight today. I’ve had a very nice day, and I have enough food and supplies to share with someone who does not. Is that a good enough answer for you?” 

“So, you’re only giving it to me because you’re in a good mood?” He sneered. 

“No,” she stated calmly, taking a piece of fish and eating it. “I’m doing it because I know what it's like to travel and have almost nothing. It’s not pleasant. It’s not something I would even wish upon my enemy; hunger is the cruelest torture of life.” 

Zuko looked at the food again, before picking up the fish and starting to eat it. 

 Zuko kept eyeing her as they ate in silence, she didn’t bother to start conversation nor stared at him, her calm composure was throwing him off, but it also calmed him as it reminded him of Uncle Iroh. 

When Zuko was done eating, she handed him a water bladder, it was bigger than the empty one upon his person. 

“Trade me, I need a smaller one for watering plants.” Zuko glanced over at her makeshift home and saw a couple of pots with flowers near her makeshift wall. 

Zuko traded with her, without any words then he stood up to leave, as he turned, he glanced at her over his shoulder, “thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” she paused as he started to walk away. “Would you like some feed for your ostrich-horse?” 

Zuko paused at the line of the clearing, mulling it over, she was frustrating him. 

“Why? Because you think I need handouts from a homeless person?!” He shouted at her. 

“I may be homeless, but at least I am not lost. I see the hurt and loss within you, I’ve been there, it’s easier to get through when you’re not alone and not wondering when you’ll eat again.” 

“So, you pity me? There is no way you could know what I’m going through! What I’ve lost!” 

She opened a piece of parchment with his face on it, his wanted poster. 

“Prince Zuko, I may not know what you’re going through exactly but I know what you’ve lost.” 

“If you know who I am then why would you feed me? Give me water? Offer me feed?” 

The woman stood and walked towards him, with an open hand, offering it to him.  “Because I know what it's like to be not wanted by anyone, not even my home.” 

Zuko could see her eyes water a bit before quickly blinking them away, he could see the truth behind her words, and the sorrow within her eyes. 

Zuko looked down at her hand, “so what are you offering?” He asked softly. 

“To teach you how to live on your own, and possibly guide you to yourself.” 

Her words struck him the way his Uncle’s do, but this time, he knew that the one behind the words had been in his place before. But was she was so lucky to have someone to help her, would he choose his self-isolation or take the chance to learn? He furrowed his brow not knowing any of the answers. He looked up into her eyes then gently shook her hand. 

“Okay.” 

A few weeks had passed with Zuko and ___, he learned her name and told her his fake name, Lee, in case anyone came around. He found out she was 20, 2 years older than him, yet she seemed so much more knowledgeable on just about everything he had questions on. 

“And that is how to make a basket,” she said calmly, giving her basket to him. 

Zuko grunted and started to weave the pieces together, getting more and getting frustrated as the pieces wouldn’t stay together. 

“Here,” ___ sat closely next to him, moving his hands into a different position. “You can’t use so much force, you’re simply weaving pieces together, keeping composure and being firm, with your hands further apart and it should be easier. It’ll still take practice, but you’ll get it.” 

___ gently patted his shoulder before standing up and moving over to the fire, where she was cooking soup. 

“Why would I need a basket anyways?” Zuko grumbled as he took the process a bit slower and more seriously. 

“If you become good at it, you can make more watertight ones, so you can brine or soak meats before curing them, so you have more food while traveling. A couple of good baskets with salt in them, on the side saddle of your animal, you’ll just have to start a fire to cook, then you could eat and rest. Or knowing you, cook then continue.” She laughed slightly at her comment as she stirred the soup. 

Zuko put down his in-process basket, which was holding its shape thankfully and not coming undone the moment it wasn’t being held together. 

“How long have you been on your own?” Zuko asked before drinking some water. 

“I guess about 8 years now, soon to be 9. I left home right before my 12th birthday.” 

Zuko sat down to eat as she handed him a bowl of soup. Scooping soup for herself then sitting next to him. “What happened?” 

___ ate some of her soup before looking at the flames flicker. “Where I’m from,” she started hesitantly, “as a girl, you get married at 16, have a child, but you can’t fight, only can you learn how to aid and heal others. 

“My mother didn’t follow that path, she had me, outside of wedlock and kept me secret from everyone but our maid and my nanny. My mom was higher up in politics, working long hours, but when she came home, she’d send home my nanny and the maid, and it would be just us. She doted on me, loved me, but above all, I was still a secret, no one outside of our home knew I existed, not even my father. 

“I was about 8 or so when I begged and cried for her to take me shopping with her. I hadn’t been allowed outside of the house and I was tired of being a good girl and staying all cooped up. After what seemed like days, she finally agreed. Everyone stared at me as I clung to her, I was so excited but scared of everyone eyeing me. 

“While we were at a store, getting me some new clothes, a man ran up to my mother. Panting as if he ran with all his force, my mother hid me behind her. They argued quietly for a bit before my mom let me come out and introduced me to the man. Saying he was my father. The man broke down crying then hugged me like I’d disappear if he let go. 

“Once we were home, my mom explained to me that she never told my father about me, and when the town saw me, someone told him that his ex was walking around with a child that looked like him. She explained to me that to get where she was in her career, she couldn’t let a scandal like me out. She told me that if I wanted, I could go to school with other kids and see my father more to get to know him. 

“At the time I was just happy to have the opportunity to finally make friends and have a dad. A few years passed and my parents eventually got married and we lived like a true family.” 

___ had a smile the whole story until now, her face fell a bit. 

“My parents, being important members of our nation, were sent on a mission. They never returned. I don’t really know what happened to them, but it’s one of two things. Either Fire Nation got them, or nature did. I think it was nature, we had a very harsh winter that year and I never saw any soot in the sky, my mom and dad were supposed to stay close to home. 

“So, I was an orphan, but more than that I was angry at nature, the world. I wanted to learn how to fight and get strong. I begged the master and our council and even attempted to fight the master. 

“Of course, having no training nor good stamina, I got beat down again and again, over a week. One day, an elder came to me, telling me I’d taunted and tainted our traditions. If I was willing to let go of my anger I could stay home, but if I continued to be brash and try to fight, I would need to leave as my anger and thoughts were not welcome there. 

“So, I left, with very little, and all the money my mother and father had.” 

___ stopped, getting herself and Zuko more soup. After a few moments, she sighed softly as she could feel Zuko’s eyes on her, silently asking her to continue. 

“I went back a couple of years after I left and they could tell I had become a fighter, on my own. Because of that, I was forbidden to come home, to even enter the walls. I was sent away and I haven’t looked back.” 

“Where are you from?” Zuko asked softly, but she didn’t answer, she simply added some wood to the fire. “You know where I’m from, tell me.” Zuko tried to persuade her. 

“The North Pole,” she spat the words while poking the fire. 

“Are you a waterbender?” 

She chuckled dryly, “not a very good one. But I can fight, I know chi blocking, heal a bit, and I have very good senses, they are heightened. Which is how I heard you coming before.” 

“I didn’t know the North Pole was like that, it seems, so sexist,” he whispered while glancing at her before handing her a cup of water. 

“I didn’t have the happiest childhood, but not the worst, the war didn’t affect me until I left home. I’ve seen the devastation, so I made it my will to help everyone I can.” 

“But why would you help me, I’m Fire Nation, I’m the prince.” 

“You are as affected by the Fire Nation as the rest of the world. You were a child speaking with worry about your citizens with care and goodwill. For it, you were burned and banished for showing weakness, for showing loyalty and love to your father. At least when you were a kid, you were banished for trying to be good. I was banished for following my anger.” ___ gave him a soft smile, and it made his heart hammer. 

“No one has ever said I was good,” he murmured. 

“You have a dysfunctional family, the only good one is your uncle. It took him a while and pain to find his way. I know you’ll find your way.” 

“I just want my throne, my home, my country, my honor.” 

“I’m going to say something and I suggest you think about it.” 

“Just spit it out already, oh wise one,” Zuko said sarcastically. 

“No one can take your honor. No one can take your birthright from you. You need to take it back; you don’t have to earn and prove yourself to anyone. Who are you? Who do you want to be? What do you want out of life, for yourself? Look inside yourself and ask yourself the hard questions. Stop living up to the person someone wants you to be, be yourself, the best version of you. Because no one can take that from you, no one can be you, but you.” 

Zuko glared at the fire internalizing her words. “You sound like my uncle,” he said bitterly. “But with less nonsense and straight to the point.” 

“Still I guess my words can sound like nonsense if I’m not careful,” she laughed softly. “Come one, it’s time for bed.” 

Zuko sighed softly before helping ___ pick up the campsite and put out the fire. She cleaned up the dishes and put them away, going into the tent. 

“Hey, Zuko, it’s getting colder outside. Would you like to sleep inside or at least have a sleeping bag?” She asked while putting a blanket on to the ostrich-horse who was lying down next to the tent. 

Zuko stared at the ground for a moment, it was colder last night, and although the sleeping bag would be nice, the shelter would be better. 

“You’re furrowing your brow, thinking about it so much,” she laughed slightly before poking the bunched-up skin in-between his eyebrows. He glared at her slightly, “Since your debating, let me throw in another option. You can do both, have a sleeping bag, and come inside.” ___ gave him a soft smile; his heart did an odd twist at her smile. 

“Okay,” he looked away from her and walked into the tent. It was definitely warmer inside, probably because of the foliage she had around it. 

He saw her cot in the back and near one of the walls, she’d already laid out the bag for him nearby. ___ came in and started tidying up a bit more, putting some more things into a large backpack. 

“What’s the backpack for?” He’d seen it here and there; within the days he’d been there. 

“Oh, this is my necessities bag, so if I’m attacked or something happens, I can grab this bag and run. I’d have the most important things so I can start over.” 

“That’s a very good idea,” he mumbled softly before sitting down on the sleeping bag. “So, what are you teaching me tomorrow? I’ve learned fishing, gutting and deboning the fish, brine and curing, identifying good and bad berries and herbs, and today the baskets.” 

“I actually need to go into town tomorrow,” she said while taking off her heavier clothes. “I haven’t been in a couple of months. I’m a bit low on rice and potatoes. The blacksmith was supposed to make me a heavy-duty pan like the one I make soup in. Plus, I need to sell some things. Like baskets, cured meats and fish, I made some jewelry last month, I should sell that too.” ___ continued, but it seemed more so like she was rambling to herself. 

“So, what am I supposed to do?” Zuko groaned. 

“Come with me, I usually stay there for a week or so when I go. I do things around town, helping people, earning money. I’ll teach you some labor stuff, so when you leave and are on the road again. You’ll know how to look for things to fix, to get a free meal, supplies, or even money; if they have it.” 

“How long have you been doing this?” 

“Well, I’ve been here in this spot for about 2 years, I will probably be leaving soon, but there are two good towns here. I’ve been helping towns for about 4 years. I was wandering and learning to fight for about 2 years before settling down. You know, learning about plants and stuff too.” 

“So, you’ll just leave this place for a week and come back.” 

“Yeah I usually go every month into town, but,” she trailed off while getting into bed. 

“But?” 

“So, there's this guy, he’s nice and all, but he’s not my type, just a little too,” she paused for a moment before getting the right wording. "Complacent. I want to travel again someday, move around as I wish. He wants to just stay in one place his whole life. He’s been very flirty lately and I just don’t want him to bother me. Nor do I want to nicely put him down and give him any hope. He’s kinda too confident for his own good, which can also be annoying.” 

“Oh,” Zuko mumbled. ___ is attractive, even to him, and her kind heart is very enduring. “How often does that happen to you?” 

“Not much. I try not to let anyone be too friendly, because I won’t be around long. Nor do I want to make a good friend and feel conflicted about exploring my life.” 

“What if you loved them?” 

“I don’t know. You can’t plan who you love. But I would hope they would want to travel with me, or at least be willing to in the future, once the war ends.” 

“You seem so sure the war will end.” 

“I am,” she stated calmly. 

“How?” Zuko asked. 

___ yawned, “it’s a story to tell another day.” She rolled over facing away from him. 

Zuko groaned and lied down annoyed. 

“Goodnight Zuko,” she mumbled softly. 

“Night ___,” he grumbled. 

Wind was whipping at the tent, waking Zuko, he sat up to look over at ___ to see how she could sleep through this noise. But he was shocked to see her cot empty. He gently lit a flame in his hand and called out her name, but got no reply. He got out of the sleeping bag and went outside to look for her. 

He looked about the general area of the campsite, but couldn’t see her. Eventually, he wandered towards the nearby river and froze when he saw ___ standing in the middle of it.  

___ was elegantly moving water, wearing a beautiful white dress that flowed and moved with her. Pushing, pulling, and swirling the water all around her, polished and gentle. There was no strength, just graceful movements. Zuko had only fought waterbenders, he never saw the beauty in it as he did now.  

As she slowed her movements she looked up at the full moon, with her face in the luminescence he could see tears streaming down her face. His heart tightened at the sight, he could almost feel how much pain and desolation she felt even with the distance between them.  

___ slowly sat down in the water, curling her knees into her chest, resting her head on the tops of her knees. A few moments passed when the water started to glow around her, illuminating all the water around her. The glowing water slowly consumed her; ___ lifted her head as the water reached her neck. Zuko could see her taking a deep breath, preparing for the void. 

The sight was unsettling as she was engulfed, vanishing along with the glow of water. Zuko wanted to jump in after her but his confusion as to why she would let it happen kept him in place. He came back to his senses realizing he could barely hear with the wind because the sound of his blood was pounding within his body.  

Zuko slowly sat down on the ground trying to calm down, as his heart calmed, he could hear the wind did too. He could only think of Zhao, who had been taken by the ocean spirit. What spirit wanted ___ and why? 

While contemplating, the river started to glow again. Zuko watched intently as he could start to make out ___’s body within the water, pushing her gently up onto the riverbank. She was motionless, Zuko scrambled to his feet and ran to her side. Being closer he could see she was breathing slowly. She was dry, the water didn’t drown her, it simply took her and returned her. But why? 

___ took a deep breath while exhaling her eyes opened and the same glow as the water was there, briefly. Zuko was lost for words, as their eyes locked. 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was soft but raspy as if she’d been sleeping. 

“You weren’t in bed, so I came looking for you. What happened to you?” 

___ sat up slowly looking away from him, clearly debating on what to say, depending on how much he saw, “how long have you been here?” 

“A while,” Zuko answered a bit curt, he wanted answers, not more questions. 

She stood up slowly, Zuko mirrored her warily and cautious as she looked weak. She wobbled a bit, Zuko quickly wrapped his arms around her. 

“Are you okay?” Even though he was annoyed and curious, he was also concerned. 

“I’m vastly drained,” she rested her head against his shoulder. Although he stiffened a bit, it was pleasant to him, he welcomed the feeling while tightening his arms around her. Something about this just felt so accurate, he rested his cheek on top of her head. Soon her weight started to drift onto him more and her breathing slowed. 

“___?” Zuko called her gently, but when she didn’t answer. He gingerly scooped her up into his arms, carrying her back to her bed. 

Author’s Note: I haven’t wrote a story with intent to make it visible in a long time. So new work 2020, I refell in love with Zuko, like a lot of people did with the resurface of Avatar being on Netflix, I’ve watched it three times now, aha. Fanfiction wasn’t a part of my life/world when it first came out when I watched it. But Avatar did launch me into my love of anime, and from there I eventually found fanfics, then started writing them. I feel very late to post a Zuko fic, but this story has been in my head ever since I rewatched it, the first time. So, hopefully, someone is craving more Zuko fics like me and they’ll enjoy this with me <3